#he doesn't remember anything but he knows
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Mr.Scarletella x Reader
Ummm ehhhehe... Red guy, hawwooo.... Sorry for cringe 🙏
Your palm feels incredibly warm and alive compared to his own. A steady grip of your fingers, a focused face and a noticeable satisfaction with what you are doing – painting his nails.
Scarletella didn't quite understand why you were doing this, but just your attention to him was already an incredible wonderful, making the ghost's chest shrink into almost forgotten feelings. He didn't dare even move, for fear of spoiling something or knocking you off with even brush strokes. He just stared, as if fascinated, his eyes wide open.
And you, in turn, feel a hint of something adequate in this strange world. The simple act of painting your nails was surprisingly relaxing and allowed you to forget for a while about your frequent headaches and the oppressive atmosphere of ambiguity.
_
The "ghost in the red coat" became your "victim" on his own, as soon as he appeared in the hallway after you left the room with a makeup bag (and strange words on walls). You will not experience the fear of him that you had the first time you met. Now, you meet him only with silence and a desire to get rid of his presence as soon as possible; he bowed his head owlishly in front of you and pointed at you in another attempt.
– Name… Say name.
The answer was silence and your action: a sudden grip on the brush and a careful look at it. A second later, and at him too.
– I want to do good for you.
Your language skills have improved, it's nice to know. Scarletella grunted questioningly, slightly arching his eyebrows. He didn't quite understand, but you were already satisfied that he didn't refuse.
_
And now he's sitting on the floor with you, obligingly letting you do whatever you want to do.
But everything comes to an end, and your palm finally leaves him, signaling the end of the case. Scarletella looks at you with his frighteningly empty eyes, in which there is an almost naive misunderstanding.
You chuckle, nodding your head at what you've done.
– Done. Look.
The ghost obediently raises his hands in front of him and curiously examines his nails. The red and black colors in his clothes are identical to the lacquers. It looks neat. Nicely. What you've done is always beautiful. You always do your best for him.
– You like?
The ghost wants to smile softly, as you always do when something turns out well and feels good for you. But his smile stretches crookedly and looks completely different from what he probably expected. You've known for a long time what he's trying to do.
– I like. Like. Very. I like!
A chuckle escapes your lips again. It's nice when the work is evaluated properly. He knows how to please. How nice.
A moment later, Scarletella stops almost incredulously, feeling the warmth of your palm on the top of his head. He knows this gesture (by the way that scrawling guy did it, which he definitely doesn't want to think about next to you). But just touching turns into stroking, to which the ghost reacts suddenly with a quiet hum of static. He wants to say something, but absolutely cannot form words.
Because then you laugh good-naturedly, not loudly, not even in a voice, only with sighs and rhythmic lifting of your chest and shoulders. How charmingly stupid this menacing ghost looked, it was only necessary to make such a simple gesture.
Scarletella could have sworn on his damned soul that he felt his heart beating in his chest and his body getting hotter. It absorbs every sound and movement that you make, trying to remember everything completely. Empty eyes are now filled with something that amuses and bores you at the same time every time, to your regret.
The stroking stops and you get up quickly, taking your makeup bag and crowbar before he does anything. But the only thing he manages is to come out of his trance and stare openly. Not movable.
– Goodbye.
You speak and leave him alone quickly.
Scarletella, on the other hand, is struck by the spreading vines of adoration and a poisonous obsession with you.
How much do you love him if you treat him so well?
Give him more.
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Made With Love
It takes one bite for Eddie to suspect he's done something wrong. A second bite confirms it. He's fucked up somehow and cannot for the life of him remember what it was.
Did he miss an important date of some sort? It couldn't have been their anniversary because that's August 13th (Eddie's new favorite day of the year, for obvious reasons). He absolutely didn't miss Steve's birthday. Not with how long he and Robin had spent planning the damn thing. (Eddie is never throwing another surprise party in his life; the stress of secret keeping was too much to bear.)
... Did he miss Robin's birthday?
No. That can't be. Steve would never let him miss that.
It could be one of the Party's birthdays, but Eddie doesn't think that's a transgression that would warrant this.
This, of course, being his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"What, your peanut butter's gone bad?"
Eddie lifts his eyes from the proof of Steve's anger at him to his coworker, Charlie, sitting across the table from him in the closet that Thatcher claims is the break room. "No. It's much worse than that, I'm afraid."
"Well, don't keep me in suspense," Charlie deadpans.
"This sandwich wasn't made with love," Eddie whines, looking back at the sandwich with as much sorrow as he can muster. He sets the sandwich down on the baggy he had pulled it out of so that he can frown down at it without having to touch the offending creation.
"Ah shit," Charlie says, voice filled with empathy. This is why he's Eddie's favorite coworker. He gets it. Possibly because he's the only person who's tasted the difference for himself, back when Eddie'd just started at Thatcher Tires. "What'd'ya do?"
"I don't know!" Eddie wails. "Everything was fine when I left this morning, or I thought it was anyway."
"Ain't your misses pretty good at lettin' you know you done fucked up?" Charlie, like the best coworker that he is, looks surprised that Eddie doesn't know what he's done. He's right, too. Steve is the goddamn king of petty, and Eddie has never struggled to know when Steve's mad at him. The struggle usually comes from Eddie refusing to be in the wrong.
(That's not to say that Eddie is always in the wrong. He's not. Sure, a good percent of their arguments Eddie is the one at fault and he's mature enough to admit so once the argument is over, but it's not always his fault.)
Anyway, the point is, regardless of who's at fault, Steve is angry at him about something and for the first time in months Eddie doesn't know what for. They'd promised each other, after their first very big fight that almost ended in a breakup and was over a misunderstanding, that they would tell each other why they're mad or upset or feeling some type of way. So for Eddie to not know...
He thinks he might have fucked up big time.
"I know!" Eddie cries, shoving the sandwich away from him to make room to drop his forehead onto the table, then turns to smoosh his cheek against the table so he can look at Charlie. "Charlie. Charlie what do I do?"
Charlie blows out a long breath, thinking, before he gives a decisive nod and says, "you gotta beg forgiveness."
Eddie knows Charlie's right. He doesn't know what he did but he's going to beg forgiveness anyway.
Which is how he now finds himself in the small floral section of the grocery store looking over the sad, wilted bouquets after work. His arms are already full with Steve's favorite ice cream, candies, an over-priced little blue teddy bear that's holding an 'It's A Boy!' card that Eddie plans to rip off, and a blank card with a painting of sunflowers on it that he plans to wax poetry about Steve inside.
The final part of his groveling is, of course, the flowers. It's the wrong season for sunflowers, so Eddie was going to settle for roses. It's just that these roses are all sad looking. They don't really scream 'I Love You More Than Anything Else In The World, Please Forgive Me For What I've Done' though.
Let it never be said that Eddie doesn't know how to beg forgiveness.
He ends up picking the least wilted looking bouquet, one with white and yellow flowers he can't name.
The cashier is an older lady who takes quick catalogue of his items and asks, "is it your anniversary, darling? Or, oh!" She picks up the blue bear and Eddie feels his ear heating with embarrassment as she coos, "are you expecting? How exciting!"
"Err, no, not, uh, no. It's just blue is hi-her favorite color, so I was planning to just cut off the little card," Eddie stutters out the lie. Blue isn't Steve's favorite color but Eddie's used to making up many little lies when talking to strangers. Being hate-crimed is not a passion of Eddie's. "I, uh, messed up. And I don't know what I did, but I'm going to make it right."
The lady smiles at him and gives him a firm nod as she scans the items. "Smart boy. I'm sure she'll forgive you."
Eddie gives her a smile he hopes isn't as tight-lipped as it feels on his face.
Back in the safety of his van, Eddie roots around until he finds a pen and gets to writing all the things he loves about Steve in the card and all the things he hopes they'll get to have in the future. Nothing they haven't spoken about before, but it still makes Eddie a little emotional writing it all down.
Once he's done writing, he pulls his pocket knife out and cuts off the 'It's A Boy' card from the bear, crumpling it up and tossing it in the back of the van to be forgotten. He shoves the sunflower card in it's place. His card is a bit wider than the previous one here so it stays in place, albeit precariously. He'll be careful handing it over to Steve.
He knows that Steve is at home already. Steve's always home first because he's off work at four compared to Eddie getting off work around five.
Well. Closer to five-thirty today with his stop at the grocery store. He really hopes that whatever has Steve mad at him isn't time related. Being late home without calling might earn him no favors if it's a time-based blunder.
Steve is in the kitchen, back to the door since he's facing the stove, as Eddie expected he might be. Which means that Eddie doesn't get to lay out all his Items of Forgiveness across the counter like he had hoped but that's okay. If the love of his life has chosen to forgive him, he knows Steve will be just as overjoyed to rifling through a bag of goodies as he would to pick them off the counter.
"Hi sweetheart," Eddie says, words oozing with adoration and sweetness.
"Hi baby," Steve's tone matches Eddie's, like an instinct to match Eddie's energy has written itself into Steve's DNA. And it might have. Eddie knows the reverse is true.
Steve turns from the stove, then, and his face lights up with delight and surprise. "What's all this?"
"Your favorite things, because I love you," Eddie says, raising his arms a bit. The grocery bag is looped over his wrist with flowers in one hand and the bear in the other.
Steve looks positively smitten.
Eddie is nailing this apology that isn't an apology. And let it be known; he cannot say he's sorry. It'll ruin everything. Because Steve, his wonderful, beautiful, kind and loving Stevie, will cock one perfect little caterpillar eyebrow and ask if Eddie knows what he's apologizing for, and Eddie will have to say he doesn't know and that isn't something he's willing to do. Especially not when it's looking like whatever Steve was mad about has completely slipped Steve's mind, too.
"I got your favorite ice cream, too, so we might want to get that into the freezer," Eddie says, passing the bear and card to Steve and shimmying around him to get to the freezer.
He lays the flowers on the counter and sets to emptying the bag. Ice cream in the freezer and goodies on the counter, while Steve reads the card silently behind him.
He knows he's successfully made up for whatever it was he had done, because Steve crowds him against the fridge shortly after setting the card down and turning the stove burner off, kissing him breathless.
Eddie even gets desert before dinner, with Steve all but dragging him to their bedroom.
-
The reddit post that inspired this -
#steddie#my fic#Steve's not even mad or upset. He was running a bit late and asked Robin to make Eddie's sandwich for him while he finished getting ready.#Robin just grabbed the wrong jelly not even knowing it was the wrong one.#but yes... steve does do the thing the lady in the reddit story does
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IT'S GOTTEN THIS BAD.
The VAs are PEOPLE TOO. You can have your opinions but remember that it's not "Well, it's just one hate post," because you don't know the amount of SHIT content creators go through!
If you don't like it? COPE. LAES was taking a interesting story direction, but obviously not everyone has the same opinion as you. Whatever, get in discourse with other fans but DO NOT GO AFTER THE CREATORS. They're trying to have fun, at the least, and you can LITERALLY SUCK THE JOY OUT OF THIS ALL by being a BITCH about it.
How would you fuckin feel if someone stood over your shoulder and started spouting shit about how your roleplays aren't good? God, aside from the mentioned insane amounts of hate-
THIS FANDOM IS SO. FUCKING. INTOLERANT.
Anything that doesn't fit into the category of "tragic doomed twink yaoi" is regarded as LESSER or sometimes a fucking CRIME
WHO GIVE A SHIT!!! YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL THERE'S SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND TAKE IT.
They make DAILY VIDEOS. Remember when David recorded when he was SICK? These VA's are trying their best to keep up with demand, but if this hate continues then goddammit, this fandom is not WORTHY of having such involved and engaged creators.
To the amount of harassment Kat has received, I'm so sorry. It must have been difficult constantly reading criticism of characters and stories you put effort into. Your writing is not the problem, and I love and enjoy it. I'm sure Kat won't even read this reblog, but I wish best condolences. You are talented, and creative, and it's unfortunate that majority of the TSBS fandom are stuck at the maturity of a toddler.
I'm Done Writing For LAE
I've written for LAE for a while now, even when I have 3 other jobs and not a lot of time to dedicate to it. But apparently all that time and effort I put in just isn't good enough.
Every time I open Tumblr, read the YouTube comments, scroll through TikTok, and sometimes even on the TSBS fan discord, I'm welcomed by people saying how shit my writing is, how shit my characters are, or how much they dislike xyz.
This isn't me wanting sympathy, or to guilt trip you. Though I'm fully expecting people to say I am. I just want to let you know; I'm done. I'm not writing any more episodes or interacting with the community in any way. I've tried. It's clearly not good for my mental health. So I'm done.
This isn't me saying I'm done voice acting or anything, I'm still going to be Earth/Pollux/Dazzle, I just won't be writing what will be happening to them anymore.
I put my heart and soul into these characters and their stories, but apparently that's just another way to get hurt.
If you have questions about TSBS, don't send them to me. I'll only answer/interact with questions/posts about my own series/channel.
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A Glass City
Part Four of A Gilded Cage ~2k Words
You can't remember the last time you cried like this. The plush leather muffles your sobs, but it does nothing to loosen the tightness in your throat, to offer any relief from the reality of your situation.
You had been blind, entranced by the fact that Jason Todd was alive and filling your days with distractions that you had missed one simple truth. Jason Todd is the Arkham Knight, and you know nothing about what that's turned him into.
The cuff around your ankle weighs heavy, a cold, unyielding reminder to the fact that you're trapped. You've been trapped since he snatched you to that forsaken penthouse. It draws more tears from your eyes until you have none left to cry, leaving you a shaky, gasping mess of heartbreak and terror.
It's that very fear, the urge to get away, that drives you to mechanically push yourself up. Sobbing has left you feeling drained.
Your head hurts, every breath is a battle, and you have half a mind to blow your nose on the stupid throw pillow lying haphazardly on the couch. It's with shaky hands that you examine the golden chain securing you to the leg of the couch.
Despite its shiny, lavish appearance, it's well made. No amount of tugging seems to bend the metal, and the cuff latched around your ankle seems equally as sturdy. It's frustrating, and your fear starts to morph into anger with every pull of the chain.
It's humiliating. You doubt you could escape his base even if you had the opportunity to try, and the chain? It just feels like a twisted claim over you.
You rub hands down your face and towards your throat, exhaustion and fury warring in your mind as you try to calm yourself. The motion causes your nails to catch on the diamond choker. The collar.
Another way he tried to keep you. Disgust wells in your throat. How did it get this far? Where did you start to lose yourself? Start to lose him?
It's thoughtless, when you curl your fingers around the piece of jewelry and rip it from your throat, throwing it across the room and as far away from you as possible. You hope it's broken. Hope something in this room is more shattered than you.
You don't react to the knock on the door, but you do lift your head when it opens. There's a hiss, and you watch Bean dig his claws into Mack's arm before jumping to the ground and rushing to you.
Bean purrs as soon as he starts to nuzzle your ankles, and you almost want to cry all over again when you pick him up to clutch him to your chest.
"The boss wanted to make sure you got him," Mack grumbles, seemingly more interested in the diamonds scattered on the floor than the redness in your eyes.
"Where is he," You bite out, or try to bite out. Crying has made your voice raw and scratchy, but even if it hadn't, you doubt it would have threatened Mack anyway.
"Busy," he answers bluntly, "Need anything else?"
You stare him down sharply, Mack might not be your friend, but he has been guarding you for as long as you've been under Jason's thumb. If anything, he should at least show you some sympathy.
"The key for this," You huff out, lifting your leg to show off the chain, "And a phone." Bean meows, and you take it as agreement as you try to hide your jittery nerves. Mack finally meets your gaze, jaw clenching and unclenching as he studies your defiant gaze.
"I don't have the key," he says eventually, "and giving you a phone is asking for trouble."
You lift your chin, exuding confidence over the militia man you don't necessarily feel, "Aren't you supposed to give me what I want?"
Mack exhales softly, slowly, and you have a feeling being assigned to babysit you is not how he imagined taking over Gotham would be. He shoves his hand into his pocket, and tugs out what's clearly a cheap burner phone. He tosses it to you, doesn't even blink when you barely manage to catch it with one hand.
"Two minutes," he warns you as he steps out the door and nods towards the chain, "Just long enough for me to find something to pick that lock with, understand?"
You breathe out a thank you when he's already out the door. Huh. Maybe Mack does like you more than you thought. You file that away for later, putting Bean down in your lap as you carefully type out a number you've had memorized since the day Jason disappeared.
Nine digits. Your last lifeline. The clock tower. Babs.
The phone rings. And rings. You've nearly given up hope, your breathing getting shallower, more panicked, when the line finally connects.
"Oracle– don't hang up– please–" You start. You don't know what to say, you don't even know where you are, but she'll know what to do. She has to.
But it's not Oracle's familiar voice that comes over the phone. No. It's the sound of your name that cuts you off, said through the low, robotic modulator that lives in your dreams.
It makes your blood go cold. It's impossible. You dialed the right number– "How–" You choke out, defeat settling on your shoulders.
The Arkham Knight laughs, an easy, bored sound, "Oracle and I are having a reunion, sweet thing. I would have brought you if I thought you'd play nice."
"I wanna talk to her," you stumble out, eyes darting to Bean as he cuddles into your stomach, seemingly picking up on your anxiety.
"She's busy," he tells you lazily, and you hear the sound of something falling over in the background of the call, "Anything else?"
"I want to go outside–" You try instead, pulling whatever you can think of to hold his attention, to try and give Babs a chance. (If she's even still alive)
He hums like he has all the time in the world to draw the call out, "Mhm, now's a bad time to be out, doll. But you can walk around the base. Sound fair?"
"The chain," You force yourself to choke out instead, "I want it off. I can't– walk if it's on." Bean meows and licks your fingers, it almost steadies the beat of your heart.
He falls quiet for a moment, and the modulator sounds in your ear like he's letting out a sigh. "I shouldn't have– I wasn't trying to scare you earlier. You just needed to be safe."
Another crash sounds in the back of the call. "Someone will take it off," he says your name again, voice no longer the shadow of a laugh, "I need to go. Don't call this number again."
The line goes silent, and you realize you've accomplished nothing at all. Jason's either killed or kidnapped Barabra, and you're no closer to escaping than before.
It's almost terrifying. Jason– The Arkham Knight– is capable of winning whatever war he's waging. He is winning the battles he's picked. And you don't know where that'll leave Gotham, where it'll leave you.
You're still staring blankly at the phone when Mack returns. Neither of you says anything as he crouches at your side and works on the cuff around your ankle. It doesn't take long, but when the golden metal hits the ground, you don't feel any lighter. Jason can win, has planned to win, and everyone will suffer for it.
Mack straightens himself out, and carefully takes the phone from your hand, "C'mon. I'll give you the tour."
"Why," You ask quietly, and lift Bean to cuddle him close to your chest, "Why are you bothering?"
Mack shrugs like it's obvious, "It's part of the job." He doesn't elaborate, and you don't ask for the truth, as you push yourself to your feet to follow him out the door.
Mack leads you down a hall, and when it opens up to what seems to be a hanger, you're left in awe. Now that you're not lost in your own panic, you can see just how impressive the base is. Rows of drones, trucks and tanks, groups of soldiers, and helicopters take up the massive space.
It makes it clear how much of an operation this is, how much Jason has prepared for this night. It nearly takes your breath away. How can anyone go up against him? How could the city survive this? How could you even dream of getting away?
A couple of the men look your way, but they're quick to avert their gaze when Mack levels them with a look. Bean seems just as enthralled with the scenery, and he crawls his way up your arm to sit on your shoulder.
You settle on the sight of crates and crates of weapons, "Can I get a closer look?"
"At the guns," Mack asks, tilting his head at you. He gives you a look like he's picking apart your entire plan when you nod. (Which you find funny, because you don't exactly have a plan yet.)
"There's a range we can use," he relents, leading you away from the hanger and deeper into the base. You're not sure if he's doing this because he feels bad for you, or if you really can get away with whatever you want. But it's hardly the time to complain about his easy compliance.
The range he takes you to is nice. At least you think it is, it's not exactly your area of expertise. There's a skylight, some targets, and more weapons than you've ever seen in one place. You feel like maybe grenades shouldn't be among the choices, but Mack doesn't say anything as you look over each option.
Bean nuzzles your ear as you trace your fingers over what looks like a rocket launcher. You're scrambling a little. This could be your only chance to get away, and you don't have a clue what to do.
Grab a gun and threaten your way out with a kitten on your shoulder? Shoot out a window and hope for the best when you try to run? Try and knock out Mack and pray no one notices you when you try to sneak out?
You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't notice the shadow that falls over the skylight. But you do notice when glass shatters down a few feet from where you're standing. And you definitely notice Nightwing dropping down to hit Mack in the back of the head.
Nightwing smiles at you, a pleased, proud sort of thing, and you stumble towards him like he's your last lifeline.
"Orcale is–" You begin, needing to share what The Arkham Knight has done, even if you aren't sure what's happened.
Nightwings smile falls, and he nods, outstretching his hand to you, "I know. Let's get you out of here."
"You know," you ask, voice going weak as you tuck Bean against your chest. It makes sense that he does, but your nerves feel like they're on fire, and you half expect Jason to appear from nowhere to drag you back to that chain.
Nightwing nods, voice soothing, "I know," he tells you, carefully pulling you to his side to shoot a grappling hook through the broken skylight.
Your feet hit the rooftop, but even still, it feels like you're flying. The air is cold, and Gotham is silent and screaming all at once. But you're free.
There's no Jason charging at you, no glittering collar around your neck. Just you, Bean, and the vigilante leading you towards safety.
"Where are we going," You breathe out, disbelief clear in your voice.
"There's– somewhere safe," he murmurs, guiding you through the shadows, "Robin's going to look after you."
"Oh," You mumble, following him step for step until he's helping you onto a motorcycle.
Helicopter blades sound in the air, as you hook your arms around Nightwings back. There's gunshots somewhere in the distance and muffled shouts lost to the wind.
You don't look back, you don't dare to, but it doesn't stop the chills that run down your spine as the bikes engine rev. It doesn't stop the feeling that if you did look back, you'd see The Arkham Knight and his heavy gaze digging into your soul.
#beans back!!!#i think maybe one more chapter after this one?#arkham knight x reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd#x reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd/reader
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soulmate hanta who is completely oblivious to that fact that he is your soulmate. everybody is born with a soulmate mark, a scribble of words that are the first words your soulmate utters to you placed somewhere along your hip. hanta sero who is nonchalant and chill about things that he doesn't realise he's already met his soulmate. they met on the first day of ua and he didn't even notice, and you... well you noticed but how could you tell him.
everyone's going around introducing themselves, he doesn't introduce himself though. your bag was neatly tucked away under your desk, already ready to start class when hanta somehow tripped over it, he caught himself in the last minute
"fuck, that could've gone really bad." he grinned at you and you were too stunned to speak, your body felt warm, like fireworks exploding and the warmth left over from sparklers their bright vivid colours flowing through you, you found your soulmate. you didn't get the chance to reply to him, an authoritative voice started speaking, aizawa sensei, and then class started.
you tried really bad to talk to him but he oozed of confidence and friendless, if the roles were reversed and you tripped over his bag you don't even think you would of been able to say something, you'd probably just rush off in embarrassment. he jokes around with everyone and you fade away in the background, you didn't even mean to, it wasn't your intention, you told yourself that when you started ua and started the hero course you'd put yourself out there more but that changed when the idea of talking to your soulmate was so daunting.
soulmate hanta who lays in his hammock with his arm of his face, groaning because you are just so adorable! and you won't talk to him, you're quiet anyway but around him it's like you don't say anything. he doesn't even know if he's ever heard you talk. he frowns at the idea that you won't talk to him because you don't like him, he wants you to like him, he wants you to talk to him! everything about you leaves him in a tizzy- the way you smile, your laugh, your anime pins stuck to your bag, how you got bakugou to open up to you even before kirishima. he can't explain it but he just wants to be near you.
you want to be near him, you want to ask him about his favourite manga, you want to know more about him but you conclude your soulmate wants nothing to do with you. you've only spoken to him once, a month into meeting each other, and he didn't say anything about your mark. he didn't have any reaction. you were talking to bakugou, arguing over who did better in the practical today out of the two of you and you're too involved in proving that you were better that you don't realise hanta and kaminari have walked up to you both. you've spoken to kaminari on a couple of occasions he's nice but a bit too complimentary to girls for your liking and you haven't said one single word to hanta, overthinking every little thing. "oi, you two which one of us was stronger today in our practical?" bakugou shouts over to them.
you don't remember kaminari's response, you remember hanta's, "i mean you're good bakugou but she's miles ahead of you." your heart soars, you don't think you've ever been so happy in your life. shouting ensues, lots of shouting, bakugou calling hanta blind and various other insults.
over all that you say, "thanks sero, you were great too," the end of your sentence gets quieter and you stutter more. they can barely hear you over all the shouting. hanta doesn't look at you or make any acknowledge of what you just said, like 'oh hey, that's what my soulmate mark says' nothing. he heard you but he didn't want anything to do with you. the rejection hurt but you knew something like this would happen, you never expected him to like you but you would've liked him to say something like 'i'm not interested but i still want to be friends with you.'
the lack of any acknowledge on his behalf made it clear to you and you don't want to disrespect his wishes, if he doesn't want to get to know you then you won't force yourself into his life. what you didn't realise is your soulmate didn't even hear what you said... he didn't reject you at all he just didn't hear.
five minutes beforehand he was almost dragging denki by his sleeve over to you and bakugou because he wants to talk to you. he's had this warm fuzzy feeling from the first moment he's seen you and it's just grown and grown.
soulmate hanta is buzzing now that everyone is moving into dorms because surely that means you'll have to talk to him.
soulmate hanta who inserts himself into your life. that anime pin on your bag? he's asking if you've read the manga. he's making teasing jabs at bakugou with you about how his cooking for everyone gives it away that he loves all of the class, bakugou always tells him to fuck off and you have a fit of giggles. he gives you ideas when he can see you're struggling and hit a road block with your hero costume support items. he'll swing you with him to the roof of tallest towers in the city and talk for hours until the sun comes up about the future and plans for being a pro. he's loud and sociable and brings you out of your shell to speak up when he can see that you want but are too afraid to, he's there to give you a push but also relax with you in the dorms when he can tell that you don't have the energy for everyone. he'll bring snacks and you'll watch films and he'll speak to you gently and soothingly that puts your mind at ease when you get overwhelmed. he'll read you manga while you rest your head on his lap and you'll get overly competitive when it comes to mario kart.
you don't understand why your soulmate had this change of mindset about you, maybe it's because you're all living together but now you have him in your life you're not jeopardising that. the time you share with everyone is amazing, and the time you and hanta share with everyone is amazing but when you're just together alone that amazing turns into perfection. you want to bottle up those moments with a glass and keep them forever.
falling in love with hanta didn't surprise you, you knew it would happen sooner or later. you never spoke to each other about being soulmates or relationships (you thought you knew why) you didn't engage in conversations with the rest of the class about it either. you didn't want to put hanta on the spot like that, 'yeah, i've found my soulmate guys, i spend every day with him but he rejected me. oh look! here he comes now, hi sero!' you were wrong though. it didn't happen like you thought it did.
soulmate hanta who isn't just called 'hanta' in your head but when you speak to him or about him, after eight years of knowing each other you've gotten past the use of family names. the first time he heard you speak it his heart skipped a beat. your heads were pressed together and you were under a blanket asleep. you both drifted off at some point during film night, it was time for you both to start joint patrol so you woke him up, whispering his name. you joined the same agency so that meant you liked doing as much joint patrol with each other as possible.
soulmate hanta who's never been in a relationship before and is a complete virgin. he doesn't care about other girls, not even to look their way for a night, all he cares about is you. the idea of even dating a girl riddles him with guilt over how he wishes it was you. hanta is fully aware that you've never been in a relationship either.
soulmate hanta can't bare to look you in the eyes and hear about the person you love or how you're yearning to find your soulmate. he couldn't bare that pain. the idea that you have someone out there- it kills him. in that sense he's insecure, he knows he should be supportive and ask about your soulmate, it seems that every other person has had at least one conversation about it but he just can't. you've never even had a relationship and he knows he should ask why but then you might ask him the same question and the reason would be- you.
the thought that his words may be written on your hip never cross his mind, he's never been in denial that he loves you but he never thought it was reciprocated.
the thought that he himself has a soulmate never, even for a second, flits through in his mind. he doesn't think he's met them and he doesn't care if he does. they won't be you.
#bnha x reader#hanta sero x reader#hanta sero#sero hanta x reader#mha x reader#sero hanta#bnha sero#sero x reader#hanta x reader#♡ hanta#♡ mine / writing#does this count as angst besties??#hanta sero x reader angst#sero soulmate#bnha soulmate au#soulmate au#hanta sero soulmate#mha#bnha#bnha x you#sero hanta x you
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Hey Cherie!! It’s been so long hehe I hope you’re well 💖
Can I request a How the COD men reacts when their s/o was called a nasty name like ‘stupid cunt’? Once again projecting myself a bit here, I always regret being stunned and not punching that idiot in the face 🙂↕️🫠
Hope you stay happy and blithe and healthy ✨��
May you forever stay cheerful as well, my beloved <3
Speech like this just comes off as extremely repulsive and obscene to me and I feel deeply for anyone who's had to deal with this. I won't go into detail but just know whoever is reading that it deals with this sort of theme and please just scroll or avoid if you want.
𓏴𓏴 Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves
Price
He does not let that fly in this base
Doesn't care if he gets called prude or mocked for not allowing it, he'd rather there be respect
Basic decency is something that is quite literally the bare minimum for soldiers
No way will he let you be dragged around with that filthy speech especially not when you're his s/o
He lets you know he'd gladly deal with it himself but you manage and tell him you'd like to take care of it
Ghost
He's not foreign to vulgar words or foul language but he isn't okay with it when it's used to degrade someone
He's heard it in public before but never has it been directed to you, seriously what was that guy thinking? That he could just say it in passing to you on the street and walk away like it was nothing?
Maybe he hadn't seen your tall masked boyfriend until he stopped and turned, heading to them and the look on their face
Eyes as big as saucers as Simon planned to rearrange their face
Soap
Quick, fiery temper strikes faster than a cobra
He's at their neck in an instant, trapping them in a death grip and staring daggers into them
He doesn't care that people are staring or that he could get the police called because he's shouting threats
And his anger won't subside afterwards, it leaves a stale feeling that has him crossing his arms and serious for the rest of the day
It had gotten him all riled up for the rest of the day that he's on the lookout for anyone else looking to insult you
Gaz
You've almost never seen Kyle get mad
Oh but he was furious, fire raging within him, knowing he was really about to do something when his jaw set hard and he went real silent
He didn't make a commotion, didn't shout or yell, just silently made his way over and took care of the problem
You didn't get to see what he did to the guy because he somehow made sure you didn't, and he wouldn't tell you either when you asked
Instead choosing to distract you with something else
Roach
He's not a fan of foul language and hates hearing it used even more but being around others so much he can't really avoid it
But the sentence that some idiot had the audacity to say to your face shocked him
How could they?
How much hatred could be within them that they're letting such words carelessly slip from their tongue?
He's worried about how you're feeling more than anything so he'll take you away before anything else could happen because he doesn't want you to show it hurt
Alejandro
Marking their grave as we speak
Don't be surprised if you see him already loading a gun
Oh boy, it's gonna be difficult to get him to calm down
He's cursing and throwing profanities much worse to the other person that they're already backing away fearing for their life
It would actually weigh down on him for a while and will get raging mad whenever he remembers
Rudy
Covering your ears immediately and glaring at the person who said that to you
He motions for someone else to take care of them while he asks if you're okay
Probably doesn't matter if you say yes or no, he focuses on not letting you dwell on those words
You're not those things and never will be, such words shouldn't be said to anyone else
And what do they know? He's shaking his head and sighing, doesn't know what to do with the anger
Phillip Graves
Yeah he allows cursing, hell he curses up a storm himself but this??
This is just unacceptable
This is the lowest form of using language incorrectly, the use of such words is as sickening as rotten food, can't imagine how much worse you would feel when it's said to your face
He's made sure to instill manners in his Shadows and he'll even send one home no matter how useful or great their skills are, but not everyone has had that great education and will freely no- carelessly use their speech for worse
Getting ready to drop a bomb on them or plan a quiet murder
#captain john price#price x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon x reader#johnny soap mactavish#soap x reader#gaz x reader#kyle x reader#kyle gaz garrick#roach x reader#gary roach sanderson#alejandro vargas#alejandro x reader#rudy x reader#rodolfo x reader#rodolfo parra#phillip graves x reader#phillip graves
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I think in general it can be easy to forget that other people dont come out and then immediately transition and be fully their true gender in every single aspect, indistinguishable from the outside as a person who's trans at all. I had an...interaction with a few trans femmes like a month or so ago, about a trans guy who had miss-stepped pretty badly in trying to avoid dysphoria, because he had been misgendered by family all day. From that context he's probably a teenager and therefore probably not transitioning much. (I know this is a lot of assumption but I think its fair?). He's been called a girl and treated like a girl all day. And these...femmes? Can I say that? were acting as though he was being a classic entitled guy oozing fragile masculinity. This young person being called a girl all day may know himself to be a man but its clear nobody else in his life does. Nobody looks at him and sees a man. Yeah of course barely hatched trans people are fragile and sensitive about their gender. Doesn't make him entitled to demand whatever from others, but also doesn't make him an entitled macho bro-dude, it makes him someone fucking up because he's in pain.
It sometimes happens to me a little bit the other way in discussion of how like, queer spaces not really being inclusive because you have to pass a femininity vibe to check to get in can be transmisogynistic. Every now and then Im like "huh, this is a trans guy/butch problem" and then I remember, trans women who dont 'pass' also fall into the 'too masculine-looking to be "safe" for femmes and thems' category. Which is also why Im not totally sure on the exact definition/scope of transmisogyny, because from my perspective this particular thing is about anti-masculinity regardless of if its deliberate or wanted or intended, and regardless of one's identity because its an external judgement being made. I think its also getting harder for trans guys to 'pass', like top surgery and what top surgery scars look like are becoming more known. And theres the whole clusterfuck discussion about how people are perceived and how people want to be perceived and in some places if you wear a dress youre seen as obviously a woman but in other places with the exact same presentation youre seen as a man in a dress. I dont have anything to add there, just thinking about it.
wait where are all the trans guys
Historical-anthropological research, especially the work taking place before the 21st century or outside the West, tends to focus entirely on transfeminized groups. So when reading these works it’s pretty natural to ask — wait, where are all the trans guys? This is a reasonable question with a few clear answers; this post is something quick I can point people to.
The central condition of transfeminized groups' absorption into feminist activism has been to accept a kind of symmetry with select TME groups through the understanding of trans femininity as "gender variance." Under this framework, transfeminized groups' social position can be understood as a consequence of gender variance and some abstract violation of cis norms; this was proposed by people like Susan Stryker and Emi Koyama [1], among others, and continues to structure trans inclusion today. It also fails when considering several basic aspects of these groups:
Transfeminized groups are associated with hyperspecific labor practices, most frequently sex work, but also hair styling, drag, makeup artistry, acting, and other forms of 'gender work.'
Metropolitan transfeminized groups appear in the archive as highly clustered and active groups connected with, but usually intensely split from, the masculine men they fucked.
Transfeminized groups become a kind of 'third gender' on an epistemic level; they are Known to wider society before and after “coming out” in a way that USAmerican transmasculinity has only recently vaguely approached.
Transfeminized groups are heavily clustered in labor practice, social organization, and epistemic position, although this is not universal -- certain strains of USAmerican transfemininity have become a bit more labor-agnostic in the last two decades, not-so-coincidentally alongside more general currents of gender-labor liberation. The messy strains of trans male identity recovered from the archive and from current practice tend to lack labor, social, and epistemic coherence. As Aaron Devor notes in FTM, his 1997 history of FTM men, trans men in the 20th century tended to transition out of cities and into the countryside, finding low-profile places they could exist in. These practices, and the earlier "female husband" practices described by Jen Manion, relied on the labor-agnostic nature of transitioned manhood in order to disappear from public life. Transfeminized groups, on the other hand, are categorically restricted from the main form of economic life historically available to women -- marriage. Their labor practices are heavily constrained and have almost always revolved around some form of 'gender work:' as Susan Stryker put it, you need to get people to pay you for being a trans woman. Transmasculinity pushes away feminized restrictions on labor; trans femininity is labor.
Because transfeminized identities are so often labor-identities, and because their specific brand of 'gender work' and hormonal/silicone/surgical embodiment usually requires both specialized training and community support, nearly every metropolitan center in the world developed highly centralized transfeminized groups over the course of the 20th century [2]. As Ochoa notes, this visibility is partially due to epistemic visibility (everyone knows what a trans is), partially due to group structure (people work and train each other), and partially due to the selectively visible demands of finding clients. Fledglings come in with a way of being that is always already visible to society, but changing the body to match and learning how to fully enact and slowly contest the third-gender labor-identity they've been given takes a lot of community support.
So as labor-identities, transfeminized groups tend to a level of labor/community/epistemic coherence that has no clear counterpart. The news archives we have of trans men (as seen in Manion) position them as singular and easily absorbed back into the female gestalt; the cisgender feminist/gayguy/AIDS researchers that form the bulk of historical-anthropological work saw them as unnecessary to their grand theories of gender; the communities themselves have been materially fractured and, for the groups that rise out of lesbian-feminist activism, only partially committed to their own existence. The result of all this is that there is no clear equivalent to the "transfeminized groups" of Jules-Gill Peterson; there is no symmetry to trannydom, and while additional work to unearth trans manhood in the archive remains extremely valuable, sometimes the necessary level of label-coherence and social existence just isn't there.
[1] Stryker, "My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage," Emi Koyama, "The Transfeminist Manifesto" [2] As seen in Namaste, Invisible Lives, Prieur, "Mema's House, Mexico City," Kulick, "Travesti," Newton, "Mother Camp," Ochoa, "Queen for a Day," Hegarty, "The Made-Up State," and plenty more. Most of these works came out in the late 80s and 90s due to a combination of the feminist "third gender" craze, the burgeoning field of masculinity studies, and AIDS.
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Ice is woken up way too early by insistent knocking on the door of his room. Wondering what could possibly have caught on fire before 0800 in the morning, he opens the door trying to blink sleep out of his eyes and freezes when he's met by a very angry looking Nick Bradshaw.
"I really didn't think you'd stoop that low," Goose scoffs at him.
Ice glances down at himself. He's wearing dark boxers with no embarrassing pattern and the old USNA shirt he sleeps in is a little worn out, sure, but also clean. He knows his hair is a mess but c'mon, he just woke up, whose wouldn't be?
He concludes that he has no idea what Goose is talking about. "Uhm, what?"
"Don't play stupid, Kazansky. You know what you did."
Oh. This is about something in the past.
Ice still has no idea what though. "I... have not had a hangover in quite some time, so yes, I can say I remember just about everything I did lately-"
Goose interrupts him with a hissed, "That's really all you have to say to me?"
"-and I have no idea which of those things could have possibly pissed you off this much."
"Fuck you too, Tom." Oh no, not the first name. "What did Mav ever actually do to you?"
Ice is just more and more confused by the second. Is he still asleep? Is that why nothing's making sense? Mav did... quite a lot to him just a couple days ago, but Ice sincerely doubts Goose actually wants to hear about any of that.
"Uhm- not much lately?" he tries slowly. "Which I guess is actually impressive now that I think about it?"
"I'm not fucking around, Tom," Goose growls, leaning forward to get in his face. "Why did you punch him?"
"I... punched him?" Is this a joke? It's way too early for this.
"I fucking saw the bruise," Goose doesn't sound like he's joking. "Mav's refusing to tell me anything. What the fuck did you do to him?"
Ice tries to take a deep breath but no, he's not lacking oxygen, his lungs feel fine, his head doesn't hurt and this isn't making any sense. "You saw... the bruise?"
"Tom, I swear to God I'm gonna give you a bruise if you don't stop repeating what I'm saying and start answering!"
"Okay!" Ice exclaims, lifting his hands palms up because threats from Mother Goose should never be taken lightly, even by a very confused recipient. "Okay, uhm... what bruise did you see?"
"The one on his hip!" Goose shouts and Ice realizes too late that that was the wrong thing to say. "Is there more than one? What the fuck, man?"
"I- the bruise on Mav's hip-" Ice winces. He can't exactly say he didn't put it there, but he's not sure that admitting it's not really a bruise is such a good idea either.
And thankfully, before he's forced to find out, there's shouting from down the hallway. "Goose!" And that's Maverick running toward them. "Goose, stop! Ice didn't hurt me!"
Goose politely gets out of Ice's face and huffs. "How'd you know I was here?"
Mav is breathing hard, grabbing at his chest - did he run the whole way here? And he's still wearing his sleeping shirt too, with a stain on the collar, though he's taken the time to put on actual pants at least.
Gasping for air, he still does his best to answer. "Well I- I woke up and you weren't there and... You got so pissed last night, it wasn't that hard to figure out. But I swear, Goose-" he straightens up and raises his voice, "-Ice didn't punch me!"
"You don't have to defend him just because we used to be friends." Well, that emphasis hurts. But Ice is sure- he's hoping that they'll be fine once this gets cleared up.
"You can still be friends!" Mav throws his hands up in a frantic gesture. "He didn't do anything to me I didn't want!"
Goose freezes on the spot, anger melting into confusion at record speed. "What?"
And because apparently, Ice before 0800 is in the business of digging graves, he clears his throat. "Yeah, I... didn't exactly make that bruise with my hands."
And because apparently, Mav is a little shit in any and every situation, he meets Goose's wide eyes with a grin. "The one on my thigh, though-"
"Nope!" Goose raises his hands. "No, shut up, I don't need to hear more! I..." he hesitates, looking back at Ice. "I am very sorry for waking you up, Ice. And for yelling at you... And I'm gonna give two some space now! Happy for you both!"
He backs away slowly, giving them two thumbs up until he turns around and sets out at a fast pace.
Ice looks down at Mav and sighs, "That went well. You couldn't have just told him?"
Mav's smile dims. "I didn't think he'd react that badly," he mumbles. "Just wanted to keep you to myself for a while."
That's so damn sweet.
And, well. Mav is here, looking all ruffled and soft from sleep, and there's no one else around.
Ice puts a hand on his shoulder. "You do have me for yourself, Mav." And then he leans down to kiss his boyfriend.
#this is silly#silly plot bunny wouldn't stop following me around#it just wanted to play don't think about it too hard#icemav#tom iceman kazansky#pete maverick mitchell#nick goose bradshaw#top gun#top gun 1986#top gun fanfiction
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König x Reader (Happy 100 followers!)
Title: Five roses, a teddy bear, and a cat.
Synopsis: Back from deployment and six months of not seeing you, König is nervous to see you again
Warnings: calling König "Kilgore" (which I guess could be his real name? I looked on his wiki and it said he was called that in one of the games) and SO much anxiety on his end
AN: THIS MAN IS A WRECK 😭 😭 😭
His grip was crushing the stems of the roses in hand, he stopped by the local supermarket to buy you them and a teddy bear. He doesn't even know if Schatzi, your pale orange tabby cat, will remember him, and the thought alone made him *terrified.*
He looks down at the roses and the teddy bear, tears welling in his eyes. Then he looks back up at your door, biting his chapped lip.
He closes his eyes and knocks, the teddy bear shifting from his hand to under his arm.
"Hello?" Your pretty little voice calls, opening the door in about five seconds. His breath hitches when he hears you, his eyes opening and widening and his heart sinking to his stomach.
Then the door opens and he holds the roses out, reaching to grab the teddy bear.
"Hi..." He mumbles out, looking down at his clunking feet. Then he can't see his feet because you've grabbed him, tears in your eyes as you hug him tightly.
"Come in... Please.." you mutter, pulling on König, urging him, the gifts he bought you not even registering in your mind.
"Okay," he breathes out, letting you lead him in the house.
By now Schatzi is meowing like mad, confused by why you're crying and holding König so tightly. Then, she pads over to König and rubs against his legs.
He lets out this gasplike sound, shuddering out, "You- you still love me?"
You look up at him with sheer *horror* in your eyes, I mean, how could you *not?*
"Kilgore.." you mutter, reaching a hand up to stroke his cheek. He drops to his knees, an absolute wreck of himself.
You cup his cheeks, holding him there, your eyes so soft, inviting. His brain swirls and curls, tears that had been pent up for half the year finally escaping like a dam had been broken.
You bend over, arms wrapping around his neck and hugging him in that embrace he's been craving. He buries his face in your neck, dropping those roses, the petals falling, the teddy bear now being batted by Schatzi. You kneel, hugging onto the poor man as he sobs, large hands going to grab your waist and hold your body against his. He clutches onto you like a lifeline, like a boy holding his favourite toy, using you as his only source of comfort.
It takes him... A while to calm down. Once Schatzi comes and runs against him, then tries to climb his back, you both laugh so hard that his sadness and relief all mould into this... Joy.
He hands you the flowers, now wilted, "For you.." he mumbles out, your brutish Austrian, one that speaks maybe five words a day. Then he hands you the teddy bear, though Schatzi seems more upset that her new toy has been taken than anything.
You laugh, grinning, "Thank you, Kilgore. They're lovely, I'll go put them in water," you say and stand up, taking the roses and teddy bear, kissing his forehead, and walking away.
And god, does that man fall in love again.
#the missus#call of duty cold war#cod black ops#cod cold war#black ops#cod fanfiction#call of duty#konig cod#konig#konig headcanons#konig mw2#konig x reader#konig x you#konig call of duty#könig call of duty#könig cod#könig fanfiction#könig x reader#könig#könig mw2
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i never wanted water once part 3
tommy is also breakup baking, prompted by my dear @sanguinarysanguinity
tw: mention of parent death, mention of child abuse
part 1
part 2
~
Gutierrez eyes him on his way out of the locker room. "Feel like no one ever sees you anymore. You coming back to the pickup game or what?"
"Oh." Tommy gives his damp hair one last rub from the towel. "I wasn't planning on it, to be honest. Too awkward."
Gutierrez frowns. "Why?"
"You know," Tommy says, wishing he didn't have to, "Eddie Diaz. I broke up with his best friend."
"Diaz hasn't shown in weeks. Probably got injured. You know how that crew is."
And that. Well. He and Eddie were friends. They became tight very quickly in a way Tommy hasn't experienced with many people. He shouldn't have thrown a connection like that away without at least trying to salvage it.
He sends a text, a polite, generic one asking about his welfare. Worst thing that can happen is Eddie tells him to fuck off and he's back where he started. He fully expects to be left on read.
He does not expect Eddie to tell him he's moving back to Texas because he's given up on his son deciding to come home. Eddie invites him to a pre-going away dinner at a bar and grill before he goes down South for a few days to scout out homes. And, no, absolutely not. But Tommy proposes getting a drink, just the two of them. Eddie very validly explains that he can't spare the time, since he's already started packing up his life and he's working overtime to save up for a down payment. Tommy gets it. He does.
The day after the dinner, Eddie calls him. "Hey, man. I know we're like two ships passing in the night, but I didn't want to leave without a proper goodbye. I still got some more shifts before I move for good, but the time will go by quick. We'll just stay on the line, okay? Keep me company while I go through my kitchen cabinets."
"It's good to hear from you," Tommy says honestly.
"So yeah." Eddie hums. "Why'd you do it?"
"Text you?" Tommy says. "I heard that-"
"Kinard," Eddie says, unamused.
"Yeah. Sorry."
"You just didn't seem the type to flee."
None of you know me as well as you thought you did, Tommy doesn't say. That's not fair to any of them. "I wasn't, in the past. Well, I tried not being that. A couple times. It didn't work out."
"Oh," Eddie says. "There it is."
"There what is?"
"You've got shit."
"Haven't we all?"
"Hey, I am not denying that." Eddie chuckles. "Do you plan on dealing with it, or letting it blow up every good thing you find until you die?"
"Jesus, Eddie."
"What's the point in mincing words? You did something dumb and destructive. What kinda friend would I be if I let that go without saying anything?"
"So what's the weather even like in El Paso? Does it ever get below 100?"
After a groan, Eddie lets Tommy talk about his shit, about Texas, parenthood, and chess clubs, for the rest of the call. Tommy can't say that he'll miss him. He missed him already and now he gets to continue doing so. All of this sucks.
Tommy tries his hand at gnocchi made with ricotta, lemon, and pepper that subsequently almost causes a fistfight during B shift.
Demetra favors him with a warm smile, taking in the large box in his hands. "Tom, right? Welcome! What's all this?"
"Tommy," he says easily, impressed she remembered his name at all. He hasn't been to this slightly dusty community center in five or six years. "Uh, this is garlic knots and mini calzones."
"Well, hey. You're even more welcome than before. Come take a seat."
December is a stupid time to rejoin group, many of the participants close to the edge from a cocktail of seasonal depression, missing dead loved ones, and generalized loneliness. Tommy knew it would be like this going in. He counted on it. Everyone will have so much to say that there likely won't be any time for him to open his mouth. He's not ready to spill. It will help to just soak in the atmosphere of unashamed honesty for a while.
At his third meeting, Cal, a slender guy in his mid twenties with a curly mohawk, keeps bringing up his mother. "She never wanted me to enlist," he says, "and now that I'm back home and struggling, she can't stop being all 'I told you so' morning, noon, and night. She never says it, but she is thinking it."
"Is she?" Tommy finds himself asking. "Or are you putting something on her that isn't there?"
"Maybe so." Cal pops one of Tommy's fried ravioli in his mouth and chews thoughtfully. "I don't know, I should probably give her a chance, think first about what she's actually saying before I react. But it's hard in the moment, you know?"
"Tommy?" Demetra says a minute later, making him feel like a kid being called on by the teacher. "How's your relationship with your mom?"
"Nonexistent. She died when I was fifteen." He crosses his ankles. "Fell asleep in the car on our way back from an away game and we couldn't wake her up. Heart attack."
Demetra frowns sympathetically. "That must've been hard for a kid to witness."
"I've seen so much worse since then. People shot in the head by machine guns, people covered in burns over most of their bodies..."
Demetra shakes her head slightly. "They weren't your mom."
He ducks his head, pressing his lips together. "True. It's just- That's not- It's not trauma. I don't fear falling asleep and not waking up."
"What do you fear?" Cal asks.
Being left, being hurt, being validated in his belief that no one will ever see him for all he is and choose to stick around. "Standard stuff, really. Clowns, taxes, drivers on the freeway."
He gets a pity laugh, a groan or two, and one outright glare. "Okay, okay." He exhales loudly. "Ending up alone by someone else's choice rather than mine."
"So you're cool with being on your own, as long as you're the one keeping everyone away," Cal says.
God, that sounds idiotic. "Yes?"
"You prefer it like this?" asks a woman about his own age wearing a green bomber jacket.
He shrugs. "It's not ideal, but as far as worst case scenarios go, it's okay. It's fine."
"It's spineless," says a gray-haired man with a Desert Storm hat.
Tommy doesn't flinch. "Yeah, that's kind of an inherent character trait. I keep thinking I got it licked, then it shows up wearing another face. Scared of my dad, so I joined the army and became someone he couldn't hurt anymore. Scared of people knowing I was gay, so I waited to come out until I was surrounded by brand new people. Scared of my boyfriend leaving, so." He pushes at the skin above his knees, kneading it. "So I left him first."
"You fall back," says Bomber Jacket. Her name is Annie or Angie. She has conflicted feelings about dating a man with kids. "It's easy to stop being scared when the thing that scared you is far away."
He hears Eddie. You just didn't seem the type to flee.
Demetra holds up a hand. Tommy's face must be doing something concerning. "No one here faults you for what you did to survive. Is it still serving you, is the question, or is that just what you're used to?"
He doesn't bake when he gets home. He drinks half the beers in his fridge and does a shockingly efficient job of cleaning his house, while drafting and deleting twenty-seven different texts. He then wakes up the next day, and goes to the pickup game.
Gutierrez scores four rebounds on him and doesn't shut up about it for the rest of their next shift. Tommy grumbles, and talks shit, and promises he won't have much to brag about next time.
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Remember not so long ago, when everyone was talking about "quiet quitting"? The concept of "don't actually quit your job but do just enough to keep getting paid"? I think the concept has made it to the NHL.
The people who are sticking up for Sid are older, former players who know exactly what Sid went through, know how he never asked to be handed anything, was willing to work for it, refused to be intimidated or stopped just because someone knocked out several of his teeth and left him with blood running down his chin.
Some younger players still get it, still understand. Others? I'm just going to assume they don't. A lot of on-ice violence for the sake of violence has been eliminated or reduced (not enough, but some) precisely because of what Sid's been through. (Where do we think the NHL would be today if Sid hadn't managed to come back from his concussion?)
A lot of the off-ice hazing, the kind of nasty, abusive (potentially criminal) stuff that happened behind closed locker room doors, that was never spoken of outside of "team," doesn't exist anymore. At least not in the Pens' locker room. Because Sid won't allow it.
In my own experience, my kids routinely tell me I should be paid more, or work less, or both. And, well, they aren't wrong. But I work because what I do pays the bills (barely, but it does). And while they lament that I deserve better pay, that I shouldn't have to work as hard as I do, it seemingly doesn't occur to them that they could get a job and help take some of the pressure off of me.
Because, you know, as with Sid, it's easy for a younger teammate to say, "our captain deserves better." And even mean it. (Though some, I suspect, find it a challenge even to say that.) But actually helping the captain get the better he deserves? Well, that would take effort. And why put forth effort when you can sit back, do the bare minimum and still get paid a really nice salary?
I don't think this mentality affects everyone. I don't. Marcus Pettersson is a terrible fighter, but he's willing to fight. Noel Acciari doesn't hesitate to throw a hit or block a shot.) But I suspect it affects enough to make a difference.
thinking again of max talbot getting pissed off about sid having to fight, and biz getting pissed off sid has to open doors for himself and wondering what’s changed? these are former teammates who’d bloody their knuckles for him and bury dead bodies for him… and the team now is made up of people who’d make his fat ass bury the bodies himself??? who just watch and mope as he fights? what went wrong?
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I keep giggling at 1 am in the morning about the idea of an A/B/O SVSSS Au where Shang Qinghua is an omega but absolutely sucks at it.
So imagine that he's presents as an omega, but to Shang Qinghua, he can't seem to feel it. Everyone else seems to feel his 'omega-ness' when he presented, so it's probably just him that can't feel the change. The system himself said that he was an omega (A/B/O was never canon, so Airplane wouldn't have thought about what secondary gender SQH was) so he just has to roll with it.
The rest of his story is just him flubbing and epicly failing at this whole Omega thing. Even his system has given up.
His Non-A/B/O first life as Airplane has left his brain incompatible with his body, the motor skills and instincts that you're supposed to have going with your secondary gender are out of the picture, it is not built into his mainframe, so he's basically a de-facto beta with extra no second gender psychologically speaking.
His superiors are keeping a wary eye on him, his fellow peers a wash of mixed reactions to his overall behaviour, worried about who he is and his complete disregard for norms or basic instincts.
He appears completely scent blind to pheromones, nor does he seem to be able to control his own. His master remembers a time where he was the unfortunate victim of two aggressive alphas fighting in the dorms, causing so much havoc they ended up breaking his inkbrush.
The scent from him when it broke was so acrid and sharp they immediately ceased, though he seems to be none the wiser, acting in his usual cowardly manner while shakily asking them to stop.
His martial brothers have never seen him nest in all of the years he's been on the peak. Not a single piece of clothing, not anything comfortable. He simply had a single pillow and a blanket for cold nights as he dozed off. It doesn't help that he avoids everyone like the plague, so even if he tried, he didn't even have anything to build one with
(The system tried to give him the task of making a nest, and he completely misunderstood, building an actual bird nest on his mattress. The system decided not to give nor take points, simply choosing to shame their host for this stupidity. Shang Qinghua keeps it by the windowsill, a memento for unintentionally spiting fate and living.)
In comparison to the rest of his fellow An Ding Disciples, he's antisocialism incarnate, zero bonds that connect him to anyone. (Shang Qinghua can't afford that, not unless he wants the weight of people on his conscience when he betrays his sect.)
It's kind of like that one classmate everyone is familiar with, but no one actually knows them. They just see him in class and forget the rest. He's scarily competent in group works and is capable of working with people, but he's never gonna respond to your text to hangout after the project is submitted and graded.
His master sees this as a detriment. How is he going to be able to have healthy relations with his future pack as a peak lord if he can't seem to get the initiative to actually communicate and bond with them.
So he coordinates a trial run with the Bai Zhan and Qing Jing Peak to help their own head disciples get a grip. A mission to be given to them to get them to open up and become closer as friends.
It backfires tremendously, only ending with the three of them becoming more prickly or antisocial. Only the most formal of greetings will ever seem to come out of Shen Jiu's mouth now, barely hiding his sharp demeanour. Liu Qingge seems to be at least willing to talk to others now, but his relation ship to the future leader of Qing Jing has now soured.
And Shang Qinghua is now more apathetic to the idea of bonding to his future pack, rathering to become completely detached from them.
(Shang Qinghua is destined to be a traitor, so why should he allow himself to experience the cruelty of betraying someone he cares about. It would be kinder this way)
[Love the fact that I just went absolutely everywhere with no coherent thoughts. Enjoy the word vomit I guess.]
#svsss#mxtx svsss#mxtx#shang qinghua#Shang Qinghua is a very mysterious person to CQMS#I wrote one half of this at 1 am and the other after I slept. there is a tonal difference when you do#liu qingge#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#I'm just insane at this point#Do I know what I am talking about? No. Is this very Shang Qinghua Core? Yes.
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I don't know if you do requests for the Great Detectives, but I'd love to see how you think the Great Detectives would handle the murder of King Hamlet of Denmark.
This is a GREAT one! The big question is whether they all talk to the ghost of the dead king; I think I'm going to have to take that on a case-by-case basis, with whatever feels right for any specific detective.
So, in a series I do sometimes, how would various great detectives solve the murder of King Hamlet...
Sherlock Holmes: Well, obviously ghosts don't exist, so jot that down. But in Holmes's experience, living humans often pretend to be ghosts (or even make dogs pretend to be ghosts!) so who could this be? The young prince Hamlet, who everybody says has gone mad? Holmes deduces that he isn't mad at all, and is in fact conducting psychological warfare against his hated uncle; while Holmes disapproves, he concludes that the boy is completely right about Claudius due to his knowledge of the play The Murder of Gonzago, as seen when he's upset about changes in a production. The Murder of Gonzago is a play which premiered in a town in Denmark known for its manufacturing of poisons for pest control!
Hercule Poirot: Poirot is quite sad to hear that the monarch who invited him as a celebrity guest has died; why does this always have to happen when he goes on vacation? Polonius spies on the guy to see what he's up to, but Poirot is much better at snooping on people than he is, and nobody can keep anything hidden for very long. He gives a summation where he reveals Claudius killed his brother. Prince Hamlet immediately goes to attack his uncle and they struggle over a sword. King Claudius falls dead and Poirot bows out, because determining whether Hamlet should suffer consequences or just become king is not his department.
Sam and Peter: Hear me out- if we bump Hamlet down from ambiguously college-aged to ambiguously high school aged, we can replace Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. These two nerdy kids are shipped in to cheer their friend (more like acquaintance) Hamlet up, and to his surprise, they respond to his depressing monologues by taking notes and asking for further details on why the world is so corrupt. Hamlet isn't so happy about them doing an investigation into "What is up with Hamlet's super hot mom?" but when they suggest interviewing Claudius to see if he has the face of a liar, he enlists them to help out with putting on The Murder of Gonzago. The rest of the play mostly goes the same, but they find the letter Claudius planted on them and show it to Hamlet. One of the last lines of the play is when Fortinbras is looking at everyone lying dead, but then Osric points out "Sam and Peter are alive!"
Phryne Fisher: Phryne is a dubious (if genteel) woman Laertes has taken up with, whom Polonius is doing everything in his power to drive away. Phryne doesn't care, but it does bring her attention to the fact that the man is apparently constantly spying on everyone in the castle. On whose behalf is he doing this? King Claudius? Is he afraid someone may assassinate him because of his brother's suspicious death? What was the official story about that, anyway? She exchanges sexy insults with Prince Hamlet, refusing to be cowed, and ultimately agrees to play the queen in his production of The Murder of Gonzago (where she gets a little too into the love scene.) When she turns and looks directly in Claudius's eye in the audience during a crucial line, she can see the answer to everything. Claudius tries to convince Laertes to kill her, saying she corrupted Ophelia into being a whore for a mad prince, but Laertes can't go through with it and kills Claudius instead.
Dale Cooper: King Hamlet's ghost tells him who killed him in a dream, but Cooper doesn't remember. He befriends Horatio and tells him that in order to understand the death of the king, it is crucial for them to study an old Icelanic poem about a man who feigns madness, because the answer to the mystery lies somewhere within. Horatio doesn't totally get it, but he figures Cooper must know what he's doing and goes along with it. When everyone is gathered to watch a production of The Murder of Gonzago, Cooper first steps up onto the stage, guided by a spirit in the form of a snake wearing a crown, to announce that King Claudius killed his brother. Prince Hamlet immediately stabs his uncle. Determining whether Hamlet should suffer consequences or just become king is not Cooper's department.
Philip Marlowe: All I know is, most of this mystery involves him getting thrown off the palace grounds repeatedly and being told that a bum like him better keep away from King Claudius if he knows what's good for him. If he ever gets out of Denmark alive, Marlowe thinks to himself, he's never leaving LA during the winter ever again.
Sam Vimes: Vimes can actually interview the ghost, but that doesn't mean the case is closed. He's not worried about the ghost actually being a deceitful fiend, he just thinks there's a possibility he's wrong. After all, if Vimes was poisoned and his ghost found out some creepy relative immediately married his wife and took his job, he would also jump to conclusions! He spends a lot of time yelling at royal people and getting threatened with execution (Vimes doesn't know how his job ended up involving so many clashes with royalty, but so it goes), and is disrespectful of religion enough to spy on Claudius while he's having his remorseful confession. He can't arrest him, but he spreads the word around, and as the royal court dissolves into backstabbing and finger-pointing, Vetinari walks in with a full retinue (and more importantly, a list of all the debts Denmark owes to Ankh-Morpork) to evaluate the situation and congratulate Claudius on his "excellent decision" to abdicate. Claudius later dies of a totally natural snake bite in his ear.
Columbo:
Your Majesty, King Claudius, forgive My clumsy common nature. I am not A noble gentleman, nor do I live With such great honor as yourself- a thought, However, troubles me this night. For how Should some strange serpent come to bite a king? And why within his ear? It puzzles! Now, I beg that I may ask just one more thing…
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I just played the demo for the first time yesterday and like. I have never found a dating sim where I don't know who to pick. Usually I can zero in on 1 or 2 mains, but here when i started learning more about them it was like
Your honour I must have them all. In the most normal way possible, I want to Bite Them. I need to wife them up Expeditiously. It is non-negotiable. Hand in marriage Right Now.
Ohhh so I remembered the coffee scene from B99 and I was wondering if the MC ran at a LI who was holding something, on a scale of "immediately drops everything and catches you in a bear hug" to "steps out of the way and lets you miss like a loony toons character" or even "starts running away while screaming at you to stop doing this" how would they react???
AWWW LOVE!! Thank you so much T^T! This made me laugh outloud when you first sent this ask, and now I'm so happy to stumble upon it again to answer ; v ; I'm so so glad you like them all!
✦ The MC runs full speed at the LIs, who are holding something!
✦ Immediately drops everything and catches them in a bear hug
Ara
Raeya
Xal
Gael
✦ Steps out of the way
Father Pride (he got scared)
Cécile
Lázaro
✦ Starts running away screaming
Envy
✦ His powers allow him to "move things", so he actually doesn't drop anything and catches the MC in a bear hug anyways
Amon
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It's not the first time he's done this but, naively, Tommy did hope that last year would have been the last. Now he scribbles his name with a little more fervor than necessary, almost tearing the page.
He was only deluding himself, he knows now. It is his fate to fill in the gaps, to go where he's needed in the moment, but he isn't the desired destination.
It stings, though. He was selfishly hoping for more time, enough so that he already ordered a tree to be delivered along with some decorations. Fairy lights, star topper, blue and red and gold baubles. Presumptuous of him, it turns out.
He also has a list of presents he was going to buy, based on what he remembers from conversations: a larger toolbox for Eddie, a Mythbusters DVD box set for Karen, a year's subscription to the Lancet for Hen, new grilling skewers for Bobby, a spa weekend in Vegas for Athena, a 126-color washable crayon set for Jee-yun, a weekend couples tour in Vegas for Chimney and Maddie that he'll fly them to.
He hasn't bought the gifts yet, except for Evan's: a customized chef's knife. Japanese craftsmanship.
He wonders if Evan will want to use it at all, knowing it's from Tommy.
Lucy looks at him askance when she sees the list. When she opens her mouth to ask, he shakes his head. Her mouth twists into a sympathetic grimace, then she pats his arm and walks away.
The fact is that most of them have noticed that Tommy was lighter and happier, for the past six months. Now he's withdrawn and monosyllabic.
He'll move on. He has to. He can't dwell on one single man whose bright blue eyes haunt his dreams and waking moments. He can't. Even if looking at the blue skies perfect for flying reminds him of the worst heartbreak he ever inflicted on himself.
---
But he's not allowed to move on, it seems.
Christmas Eve, he's on duty and the one major call the 217 goes to is a seven-car pile-up that blocks three lanes of traffic.
And the one man he never wants to see hurt is bleeding out behind the wheel, barely hanging on to consciousness, his fingers weak when asked to squeeze Tommy's hand.
"Fancy... seeing you... here," Evan mumbles.
"Stop talking," Tommy orders. He's frantic, even if he and his colleagues move methodically and rapidly to clear away the metal trapping the man he loves - the man he loves - inside a metal cage (not a coffin, Kinard, not a goddamn coffin) while he bleeds seemingly everywhere.
He's not going to fly the chopper, he knows. The second they were told that off-duty firefighter Buckley is in the accident, Tommy's captain made the call that any air transport is to be carried out by Lucy.
"Hang on, baby, please," he begs. He doesn't care who hears him. "Evan, please, stay awake, please stay awake-"
"I'm glad," Evan says. His eyes are fluttering shut. "'s good... Not Buck. J-just Evan." He slumps over.
Tommy doesn't waste time screaming or crying. He practically rips aside the crushed door with his hands alone, even though his shoulders burn from exertion, and he helps get Evan out for the paramedics, and he is running to the bird right next to the stretcher, hauling Evan on board. No one tells him he's to stay on the ground.
---
Maddie and Chimney finds him in the waiting area.
"You're pregnant," Tommy says stupidly as he stands up when he sees them.
"How is he?" she asks.
"Still inside." Tommy can't really form thoughts. "He crashed once but his heart was beating when we got here."
Maddie nods and sits down. Chimney sits beside her and they hold hands. They are already there for each other; they do not need anything to bridge a gap.
Tommy wants to throw up. He sits down, two chairs away, and buries his face in his hands.
The last time he prayed was in a church that claimed that God will smite people like him. Yet, he begs whatever entity will listen: Please, take me in his stead. He has a family who loves him. Who need him. Take me in his stead. He deserves everything good. Take me in his stead.
Christmas Eve ticks over to Christmas.
More and more of Evan's friends and family come. Eddie doesn't show; Hen tells Tommy that Eddie is in Texas. Tommy only nods at her. He says nothing. They cluster around Maddie and gives Chimney hugs.
Then Bobby sits next to Tommy and squeezes his knee. He murmurs, "He still misses you. Apologize and make it up to him."
"I bought Evan a chef's knife," Tommy says, apropos of nothing.
Bobby huffs. "He'll prefer having you back as a present." Another pause. "That, and couples therapy."
Tommy bites his lip and nods. Anything. He'll do anything.
---
The next Christmas, Tommy doesn't take on a shift. Neither does Evan.
They're hosting Christmas lunch.
Tommy adding his name to the "can work double shifts if needed over Christmas" list because he'll only be spending it alone. Again.
#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tevan#bucktommy#i wanted to write only up to the crash#but something possessed me#to write the rest#pq writes
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The People We Become || Portal!Stanley AU
Hi, mom said its my turn with the Portal Stanley!AU. I have no art skills to accompany, but I sure can yap about it.
The Portal Incident
When Stan pushes Ford into the portal, he grabs Ford's sleeve, trying to yank him out. He's successful, but stumbles into range of the portal himself and is pulled in. Ford screams for him and runs to try and shut down the portal. Stan tries grabbing onto anything he can to save himself, but starts yanking at wires, causing the portal to go haywire. It explodes as he's pulled in, knocking out Ford in the process.
When he wakes up, the portal is in ruins and Ford has no idea if Stan made it through or died in the explosion.
He panics, unsure of what to do and realizes he'll have to more or less start the portal from scratch if he wants to save Stanley.
While this is all going on, a little ways away, Fiddleford is on his own, contemplating erasing Stanford and their work together from his mind completely. When he feels the explosion, he rushes to the lab and finds Stanford panicked and distraught. He hastily explains what happened and tries to get Fiddleford to help him build the portal again so they can save Stanley, but Fidds knows he can't. It's too dangerous.
They end up getting into a huge fight and Fiddleford erases Ford's memory of the past month. The last thing Ford remembers is realizing he was wrong about Bill and his research needs to be taken away. Fiddleford tells him he already destroyed the portal and its over. Ford, being injured and unwell from everything leading up to the incident as well as the explosion, figures Fiddleford is correct and just passes the hell out.
Fiddleford locks up the basement and locks away the memory gun away, feeling guilty for erasing Ford's memories.
As he's taking care of Ford, Fiddleford hides away any evidence that Stan ever came and puts his car in the junkyard, thinking its all for Ford's own good.
Stanley Enters The Portal
Stan enters the portal and is immediately lost to the space between dimensions. However, he has Ford's journal with him still. As he's floating through space-time, Bill notices the blip of the portal opening and comes to his location.
He tries to con Stan, saying the journal was something he and Ford wrote together. Bill says if Stan gives him the journal, he can take him home! Of course, Stan knows all too well that if a deal sounds too good to be true, it usually is. He tells Bill to fuck off and when he doesn't Stan punches him in the goddamn eye. Bill is momentarily more shocked than anything and Stan goes tumbling into another section of time-space.
He ends up in a sort of central hub for interdimensional travelers and is pretty much immediately arrested for not having any type of identification or trans-dimensional travel authorization. Is it fair? No, of course not, but when has any kind of law actually been fair?
Stan ends up in interdimensional-space jail, but criminals are criminals where ever you go and Stan is more or less in his element here. He charms enough people to get in with a crew and they eventually break out.
Stan gets some illegal documentation to keep him from getting arrested on the spot again, then goes on to continue the same type of life he was living before, just this time ✨Sci-Fi✨
I have a lot more on this, talking about how Ford and Stan's personalities are affected by their different lives and the various differences in relationships. Also all of Stan's adventures across dimensions! ...I would like to name this AU but I have no idea what to call it yet
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