#he doesn’t want them but he wants the coffee

[1nthedarknessofthenight]

﴾ smooth operator

pairing: bangchan x f!reader

genre: one-shot, office au, smut

word count: 7,1K

warnings: dom!bangchan and sub!reader ⋆ exhibitionism!⋆ choking! ⋆ ass!slapping⋆ hair!pulling ⋆ marking! ⋆ cum!eating ⋆ possessiveness ⋆ oral (f.receiving) ⋆ angry!sex⋆ unprotected!sex ⋆ creampie!

summary: you always get what you want, with a single look, a wave of your hand, dripping with confidence that made him tremble the first time you two met, he watched you quietly from afar, admiring the perfection that you are, but it soon turned into obsession and oh, how he hated how much you got into his head…

request by @khandzilla

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Many things had happened to Chris since he moved, away from all of his past and finally reaching for the future. He discovered many different things that he had never thought about before, trying every new thing and place the city of Los Angels had to offer. They shone at him with brightness, called out to him, even though the tiring and sometimes boring main reason he had taken this step slowed down his new experiences. The best thing was that he had time — plenty of time for himself to grow and learn. The job that gave him this opportunity was honest with him — it will be hard to maintain his position, but all of the hard work paid off in the end. However, he thought that doing all those business meetings, marketing and all the paperwork would be the hardest part…definitely not maintaining his composure.

Chris has done a lot of new things since his first day at work, met new people and made contacts. He could still remember how nervous he was on the first day, but everyone surprised him by being so kind and it was almost unusual at such a hectic workplace. Every day was different for him, if he doesn’t count those awfully long papers and files he had to fill out every day. It was, because of the people that he now can call friends. Minho, despite his first impression of him told him that he wasn’t very friendly, immediately took him under his wing. He showed him everything, what to do and what not do and even introduced him to his other colleagues. Seungmin, a brunette, quite similar to him in a sense that he always made fun of his age just like Minho, even if he wasn’t that much older than them and then Chris soon found himself in a pile of many different faces.

But one thing remained the same and that was you. The first time he saw — felt your presence was when he was a week into his new job. You screamed, your aura cutting through the office as you quickly walked pass him. You were so quick in your heels that he didn’t even have a chance to get a full look at you. Though someone was quick enough to catch his stare — Minho, who was sitting across of him spoke your name and that made the others glance at him. It was like the sound of your name was a secret code, because everyone suddenly turned their heads to catch just a glimpse of your distancing figure. He felt his ears turn red at being caught, but soon after the others became aware of your presence, he realized that he wasn’t the only one simply astonished by you.

He learned from the looks of his colleagues and then awfully interesting gossip that you rarely left your office. Seeing you walk passed them always broke into something — you were the main topic of gossip. Everyone seemed to know everything about you, yet you didn’t talked to anyone if it wasn’t necessary. You were always quick, never leaving your sanctuary if it weren’t for a meeting or a coffee. Aubrey, a dark haired woman which seemed to be the leader of your small ‘fan club’ said that it was like you were almost disgusted by them as if you felt, you were above them. Soon his female colleagues’ chatting turned bitter as they all turned to him, while Minho and Seungmin silently listened. Chris knew that it wasn’t right to talk about someone — about what they were wearing, how they were behaving in a such place and when you not know them, but he kept his mouth shut to get every information.

Chris doesn’t know if it was because he literally became awestruck by your presence from the moment he saw you, but he soon started to see more of you. You seemed to be always in some a corner, alone, but he always found you. You always sat at the corner of the room next to a window, when it was lunchtime. You always made your coffee with just a splash of milk and just a small pump of vanilla. You seemingly should blend into the background as you were always in dark clothes, but your whole aura radiating from you couldn’t make you invisible.

He remembered the one time, when he was sitting behind his desk, looking at the back of your head, tracing your figure clad in loose trousers and blouse, just waiting for you to turn around. Maybe to notice him, maybe to let him finally see your face behind your blowout hair. He should have concentrated on his work or maybe on the voice of his female colleague talking his ear and that really started to cut through his fixation. He didn’t even see your face and it was getting to him. His coworkers voice was awfully low and sweet and he knew she was trying to get his attention, but it was no use.

He watched your pretty manicured fingers go to your cup of coffee, metal reflecting in the light as you never used those cheep, plastic cups like everyone else — well, you definitely weren’t like anyone he had ever met before. You turned just slightly to the side, lips puckering, when you glanced into the hallway leading to your office, finger making a come here motion. He could tell you were frustrated, your frown that he didn’t see much of deepening, when Minho suddenly emerged from the hallway.

Chris straightened his back and at that the annoying sound of his colleague became quiet. He ignored it, noting Minho’s small twitch and fidgeting, when you push a pile of papers into his direction. He couldn’t hear anything over the noises of mouses and keyboards clicking, but he could feel the shift in the air. His friend had a look of small fright, when you started to move your lips slowly, but words seemingly laced with a hard tone. He at that wondered how much strict you you actually were, maybe some of the gossip turned into a fact. Minho shook his head wildly after you were done speaking, not even trying to cut into your speech like he does with everyone. You tilted your head at his words, letting the papers be pushed back to you. His friend then pointed right into his direction, like a child trying to escape his punishment and you instantly turned to look at him.

His mouth opened, gaped at your features — soft, yet sharp with the look you gave him under your glasses. Chris felt his heart stop when you turned fully into his direction, before marching through the room right to his desk. From the corner of his eye he could see everyone turning their heads, hear the sudden stop of the even sounds of keyboards, but he couldn’t do anything else, but look at you. Your body — so nice, tight and soft in the right places, eyes trailing over your blouse that clinged to your breast, your lips painted deeper brown, your eyeshadow sharpening your stare.

The sound of your shoes made his heart beat faster with each stomp, before they scraped on the floor, when you stopped right before his desk. “Chris, is it?” Your glare didn’t match your slow and low tone, not even your comfortable stance, but from the looks of his colleagues, he could tell that you actually were not pleased at all. Why, he didn’t know yet at that moment, still to occupied by looking your over and also trying to keep his cool, because the way you said his name was…arousing.

Chris just knew he looked stupid, when his eyes went back and forth between his coworkers and you, it was like he completely forgot his own name. “Yes…” He thinks he has never felt like this since a teacher caught him misbehaving in middle school.

The way you were waiting for him, giving him time to anwer just made him realize how patient you are, even if you looked quite irritated. You then put those papers on his desk, slap! echoing through the room. “Please, take another look at those papers.” You say, voice still collected.

He did what you ask, even if it was quite hard to tear his gaze away from you, but at least he had your perfume filling up his nose. His eyes fell to the file with papers, lips falling even more apart as he scanned through them. They were his, he did them yesterday just an hour before he ended his day and just by a single look he could tell that there was something not right. “Oh!” His fingers stopped at a particular spot, your shadow heavy on his shoulders.

“Yes, correct it–“ He looked up at you at that, already distancing yourself as you were almost shaking to get back to your office. “Give it back to me later, you have time till three.”

With only that you walked away, not letting him ask questions, leaving him to figure out his mistakes himself. The only thing you left was your lingering presence that made few people, other than his friends look at him and he wanted to groan out loud. ‘What a way to make nice, first impression’, he thought to himself. He literally made a fool of himself. The first words, the first thing he did to get your attention was his idiocy. The hand that landed on his shoulder was supposed to be calming, but Seungmin only made him feel more humiliated. It also didn’t help that the others immediately started to get to the talk and he didn’t hear anything other than their awful gossip.

“Did you see that? Poor you, Channie-“

“How can she talk to us like that?”

“Did you see her clothes? She’s literally screaming for attention!”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, just do what she wants, so she can get off your back–“

Chris was disgusted. You weren’t bitchy or moody, you were collected and he knew just what your position requires. He couldn’t help, but feel intimidated — it was a natural response to you. How could they talk to you like that? Making gossip and hate out of anything you do, Chris is glad for his two friends at the moment as they shut down their conversation. One thing is being humiliated by making a mistake infornt of a woman like you and then others just adding up to it. It was his fault, you only told him to fix it, nothing more. There was no need for them to talk about you so harshly.

Chris returned the papers just in time that day, but he was not quick enough to catch up with you as your office was already closed. It was also the first time he was in that part of the building, only passing by it to get to the elevators. He stared for a moment at your name and your title at the milky, glass door and he probably stood there for a quite while as your assistant walked up to him. He can’t lie that he was disappointed by your assistant telling him to just give those papers to him as you were at a meeting.

Though after that he got just a few more occurrences with you. The most memorable one was when you joined him at the coffee machine. He can still remember your pencil skirt and matching suit jacket, red lips, black stockings with a line going down the back of your legs and mostly your pretty glasses framing your face as you looked for your vanilla sirup. He had to fight the argue to a smirk, when he without a word lean over your cup to pump the hidden sirup in his hands into your coffee. You almost seemed surprised by his presence, like you didn’t even know he was right next you or maybe it was simply because of his sudden deep eye contact. He didn’t even blink, while looking at you, not even when you said a small sweet ‘thank you’. That simple moment grew into something big, when you leaned over him to to grab a plastic cup to put it in the coffee machine, before pressing his preferred choice of drink. It wasn’t sweet anymore after that, it was more nerveracking, because the fact you knew told him everything — you were watching too and he started to like you more and more, before it started to change.

Soon he started to hate you. He hated how you were in the every corner of his mind. He was thinking about you since the first day he saw you — at work, even home, mainly late at night in the privacy of his bedroom. He hated how you saw him firstly like everyone else, how he felt like everyone else — how he was firstly scared of you. Even if he talked to you briefly, got to know your small habits — how you always clicked your nails together, how you hold the side of your glasses with your index finger, your chewing at the inside of your lips, your small minimal pull at your eyebrows when someone talked to you. The conversation were always about work, you never talked outside of it and he soon realized how much you are into your work. You are a total workaholic or maybe you just didn’t like someone sticking their nose into your business.

But it felt like it was his too, because how possibly can you be able to mess him up like this? You weren’t even doing anything to rile him up and he must wonder if those subtle looks, gestures where really nothing or if you were just playing with him. He wanted to figure you out and it is driving him insane, because he feels like he is turning into one of them…though they certainly aren’t thinking of putting you into your place — right under him or maybe he would even let you be on top of him, just like you were used to.

Chris has to groan into his hands, back muscles screaming at the pressure they were put through the whole day. He really does sometimes breathe in relief when he goes to work out, because sitting hours behind a desk feels like a form of torture. It’s so quiet — it’s so weird not hearing even a whisper. The office would look eery, if it weren’t for the city lights shinning through the glass windows. He swears, he can even hear cars from the silence in the room. The lamp at his desk is burning his eyes, glancing for the last time over his work and he wants to scream in delight as he finally could pack his things up and go home.

Today was unusually stressful for him, so much of everything that he had no choice, but to stay late. He could have done it on Monday, but the thought of not finishing something wouldn’t make his weekend better, not to mention how overly hectic it would be if he would leave it to Monday. From the sitting and the turned down air conditioning his skin glisten in the thin layer of sweat, pulling just slightly at his white shirt to unstick it from his stomach. He didn’t even care about how he basically throw his things into his bag, too lazy to actually take time and put everything where it belongs.

The click of his polished shoes is the only sound in the building as he walks down the hallway, trying to untie the nots in his upper back. Though silence should be thing quite familiar to him in sense as he walks pass your office, only for his own body to stop in its tracks. A frown falls on upon his face, looking down at the carpet under his feet. Light is coming from behind your door, the warm orange hue cutting through the moonlight floor. Chris firstly thought that you might just accidentally let your lamp on, but that wouldn’t make any sense — he is the only one here…

Curiosity gets the best of him, not even thinking twice and wrapping his hand around the door handle. In a sense he feels like he is doing something he shouldn’t as the door creaks open, letting him barely have a look in the room and sure enough he at that hears sound of a keyboard’s clicking. His heart beats s little faster, thinking of way too many different things that could be happening behind the door and he literally haven’t open it yet. To his surprise it was a way simpler answer — way more exciting…

You — you were here with him, at this late hour at a place you both know so well. He knew, after some small and innocent spying that you clocked out just an hour before him as you always get here in the early hours of morning — so seeing you behind your desk with a laptop illuminating your face was a surprise. “What are you doing here?” And you were definitely surprised too.

You jump in your seat at the unexpected voice, eyes widening just slightly as you snap your head into the direction of the door. He can see the genuine expression of surprise for a split second, before it all falls back to your natural, cold one. “I could ask you the same thing.” You wit back, taking a one, long look at him from your desk — his misbehaved hair, opened shirt that clinged to his toned body, how he leaned casually on the doorway, before you turn back to your work.

Chris tilts his head at you, listening to your nails grazing over the keyboard. “It’s almost one a.m–“ He, just like you doesn’t answer your question as it wasn’t that much important at the moment, not when you were looking like that — you always looked put together, not single wrinkle on your clothes or a smudge in your make up, but he can see the small effects of your equally hard day on you.

Your glasses that were usually on the low point of your nose sit in the small pocket on your blouse, his eyes naturally drifting to the exposed skin of your breasts. Your outfits were always modest, yet so provocative. Your lipstick appeared lighter than before, but he knew it was dark red as he saw you pass by his desk today. So quick, but not quick enough to not be caught by his eyes. His knuckles turn white at the sight of your open top, body swaying, ready to take a step close just to try and see what you might ne hiding underneath. Chris doesn’t even care about how unprofessional he is being, the only thing he cares about is seeing if you were thinking the same thing — well, you certainly weren’t telling him to leave.

“I know.” You say, not even looking at him, seemingly very into the piece of paper in front of you and he can see your fingers nibbling at its edge.

“Aren’t you tired?” He says, genuinely wondering.

“No.”

“Can I get you a coffee?” Chris fires question after question, just to hear your sultry voice, frustrated from the lack of attention.

You don’t answer this time to his displeasure, only holding up your cup to let him see there was no need for him. But he needs it — you, how can he not grab this opportunity to finally talk to you, fully get drunk off your presence alone. You don’t do anything to indicate that he is not invited, so he slowly makes his way up to you. His eyes not even for a second leave you, grasping greedily at every new angle he gets. You look frustrated — the twitch in your eyebrows is prominent and he wants nothing more than to turn it into something way different.

You are aware of his looming body behind you and you know about that hand gripping the back of your chair, though you do nothing against it. Your fingers no longer move on the keyboard, the pen in your hand hovering over the paper before you. You just stare at it, realizing you might be getting distracted. “That’s tomorrow’s work.” His breath hits the back of your head, making you fight back goosebumps.

“Yes, that’s why I’m doing it…”

You remark was supposed to be witty, but the small strain in your voice won over. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself…Y/N.” Chris sighs out your name, hand gripping tightly the back of your chair, doing anything in his power not to just turn you around, so you can see everything what you did and are still doing to him.

He can hear you click your tongue, head just barely turning his way. “I didn’t know we are casual like that…Christopher.” You say.

His eyes narrowed from your words and tone. Is this really not casual? The thick tension in the room, the shared looks…Chris suddenly becomes angered, mostly frustrated from your behavior. His nose flares to exhale a deep sigh, before taking in the sweet smell of your perfume. By that action his body naturally needed to get closer to you to get a real and good whiff of your scent. He hovers over you, caging you in — and was that a small gasp and shake as a reaction to his bold move? “You are so tense…” He can’t fight the satisfied smile from your reaction. Even if it would be unseen by others, his fixation on you literally gave him the power to crack open every single small twitch in you, reading you like a book. “Do you need me to take it away?” He whispers, hot breath hitting you.

There’s a pause, your lips falling apart. “What are applying exactly?” You are incredibly still and collected, even if he is able to see under your thick shell.

He shrugged at your question, smile not leaving his lips and he knows you can hear it in his next words. “Just a massage…” He says so innocently.

He can’t see the obvious frown on your face. “Get on with it then.” You say, your voice uncharacteristically quiet, though your tone sharp. The small laugh in his chest couldn’t be contained by your reaction. His hands loosen around the back of your chair, face falling as he lifts his finger to just barely push your hair away from your neck.

The light scratch of his nails leaves traces of fire, tickling and making a rush of a new emotion go through your whole body. You are quiet, staring at the closed doors to your office, while you let the man behind you touch you. Chris is so slow with his every move, it’s like he is doing it on purpose — maybe to see a glimpse of frustration on your face, but who are you to give him such pleasure? His hands are big, fingers long and when he puts them on your shoulders they almost dip under your slightly open blouse.

You both at that realize the difference between your body temperatures — his hands were hot and they came with even more burning, when he pressed into your shoulders, your body was cold and you realize that it might be because you haven’t felt this much burning for anyone before. He — he has to know by the way your body is so tense under his hands that it’s been a quite long time since you last felt the touch of another. Your work, your passion and need for perfection suddenly felt like a immense weight on your shoulders that he messaged all away with just few squeezes. However your pride didn’t shift…you are not sure if you want to give him the satisfaction and let him see the true effect he has on you. Or do you? One thing that you truly want is to see him tremble, just like on the day you two first met — so flustered, almost scared just by your existence.

Chris breathe so heavily, you for sure have to feel his silent sighs on your skin. The material of your blouse is so thin, that he scrunches it up between his fingers at thought of tracing his fingers across your naked skin. His thumb makes circles on the strap of your bra, the other already falling off your shoulder and he eyes it with a heated glare. “Nice?” He has to wonder, because you didn’t even breathe throughout his moves. He hates, how he seeks your approval.

Heat rushes to his chest, when you let out a quiet, yet soft and long hum of pleasure. The sound makes him press down onto you just a little harder and Chris almost loses his mind right there, when you only sigh again. “Yeah–“ His eyes roll back into his head at your voice, his hips embarrassingly pressing onto the back of your hair. He sighs deeply, heart jumping when you tilt your head to look up at him. “Maybe a little lower?” Your voice is breathless, sweet like honey, but your piercing eyes surely don’t match it. The top of your head is brushing his stomach, your moves, making you push out your chest and his eyes follow immediately your movements and words. His body is stiff other than his hands that keep squeezing at you and they eagerly go lower by your request, pressing down onto your collarbones. “Lower…,yeah — right there.”

Your words dangerously end in what sounded like a moan and Chris licks his lips at the sight of the black lace peaking out of your shirt. “You like that?” His fingers dip into the middle of your breasts, watching your head roll back onto your shoulder, sighing with you at his touch. “Or do you want me to go a little lower?”

The smirk on his lips is obvious and you can’t help, but do the same, enjoying the way his hands pinch at the softness of your breasts, before suddenly pushing yourself from the chair. Your move is so unexpected and quick that he stumbles, the smile of satisfaction falling from his face, but you don’t see the change of expression. “I fear, I have to go now, Mr. Bahng.” Again with your sweet voice that really started to taste bitter as he watches you move across your desk — he had enough.

A hand wraps around your wrist tightly. “No, you are fucking not.” He says, through gritted teeth and you remark gets stuck in the back of your throat, when he roughly turns you around, pinning you to the table and you only become more short of breath, when his hand falls on your neck, fingers pressing ever so slightly into your pulse.

You can’t breathe properly, just like him, staring into each other eyes and you finally see how much darker they have become. You broke him — you and your tactics. He is sick of your playing, not caring about how so suddenly and so sharply he snapped at you, but the look on your face…it seems like you are enjoying this. His fingers wrapped around your dianty neck, your upper half basically exposed to his hungry eyes and then his gaze fall on your lips, smudged in a hue of red — he just had to take a bite.

His lips smash to yours and even in his delirious state, he saw how you leaned into his hold — you wanted this too, him. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, teeth, till he tastes the bitter taste of coffee and the sweetness you naturally had in you. It is so much and so good, but you still fight lightly to gain dominance against the kiss, though you can’t keep up, something possessed him at that moment and with the first taste of your lips, he couldn’t stop.

Your noses brush against each other, breathing heavily, not even separating for a split second, till you of course had to say something. “I think this is highly unprofessional–“ You say your every word between each kiss, his fingers pressing a little harder around your neck at your statement.

Chris pulls away from you, eyes glaring down at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Do I look like I fucking care?” His tone sends shivers down your spine, him not seeing it, because he leaned over your body to press his lips next your ear. “You are insufferable, I fucking hate you.” His hot breath hits your ears, feeling his tongue graze your earlobe.

A wide smile finds your lips, breathing out heavily. “We both know, that you don’t hate me.” You shake your head lightly at him and it makes him look back at you, his hard stare not matching your overly sweet smile.

“I’m gonna fuck you like I do.”

For the first time your confidence trembles, smile falling a little at the deep rasp in his voice and now he is the one finding some amusement about this situation. You always act so tough…it’s funny to him that you try his patience even now — now when he has you under him, now when his hand is around your neck, now when his other hand travels up your thigh to your center. The heat radiating from you tells him everything he needs to know. His hand finds the sliver of naked skin, when his fingers graze your garter belt, for a moment enjoying the softness of your inner thighs. His eyes however don’t leave your face as your eyes close slightly, silently sighing at his gentleness, before his next move makes you gasp sharply.

His whole hand cups your covered pussy, your juices smearing all over him and by your reaction your leg just barely grazes his crotch, moaning lightly at the feeling. “What got you so wet, huh?” Your lips are sealed for a moment, while his ring and middle finger finds your clit, pressing down on it, yet not moving. “No smart remark? Really is it that easy?”

“Are you going to fuck me or you just not gonna finish your job like always?” You hiss at him, hips pushing against his fingers to find more friction, but to your displeasure, his touch leaves you completely, removing his hand from your skirt and even the hand on your neck leaves you.

Your heart skips a beat for a second, not from fright, but from excitement, ready to see more of this new side of him. Chris isn’t moved by your words, too occupied by pressing his lips to your neck. He licks over your skin, tasting your perfume, before he traps the thin skin of your neck between his teeth. The sharpness is painful for a second, before it melts into pleasure as he sucks and slurps at you. The raw moan you give him makes him groan in union, moving his mouth to the spot under your ear, sucking just as harshly, before he moves to the other side of your neck, your collarbone, the soft skin of your upper breast…He drools over you, bites down on you and he feels a sense of possessiveness grow in him as he finally pulls away to take a good look at your current state.

Your mouth is open, lips glistening from your own spit, eyes following the trail of bites and splotches he left on you and you now by the subtle burn, that he even felt an small imprint of his fingers on your neck. His thumb presses down on one particular spot — right over your heart. “So pretty, look at you, covered in me…” Chris is biting on his lip, chewing, like reminiscing, before meeting your half lidded eyes.

“You…” You are so quiet, lost for words and he feels his cock jump at your drunken state.

“You…” He repeats, but his version helds a almost sick longing. He shakes his head, almost like you would, before straightening his back to completely surround you with his whole body. “Bend over.” Chris’s sudden dominance makes you shaky, he can see the effect by your wildly raising chest and even though you still have some grip on your composure, he feels sense of pride seeing you like this. All because of him — you turn around slowly, too slowly for him, that he had to push you against your desk, palm of his hand on your lower back.

He moves your hair away from your shoulder, mouthing at your already marked up neck, while his hands roam wildly all over your body. They drift under your blouse, his moves so rough that couple of the buttons pop open letting him fondle your tits freely. You let yourself go a little, moaning at his touches. He is everywhere — touching you as if it would be the last time he’d ever have you like this. “I hate you–“ He repeats the words between each suck, you hissing at his teeth piercing your skin a little too deeply.

Chris hums, hips grinding against your ass and you both gasp at the sensation. You can’t help it — maybe it’s because you just enjoy being like this or you want him to finally break. You don’t even know what he might do to you, but that only excites you more. “Ah — is this all because of me?” You coo at him, hand pushing his head away from your neck to look at him. The expression you get from him is worth it, rolling your hips against his.

A hiss of pain leaves you, when his hand finds your hair, tugging your head back. “Every fucking day — every single fucking day…you enjoy making people feel like they are under you, like you are some kind of higher power.” The poison in his voice is light more than anything, it’s just pure lust, but it does make you stop fidgeting. “But who are you outside of this building? Huh, Y/N?” You don’t respond, eyes widening, mouth opening and you feel small pool of drool gathering in the corner of your mouth. When his hand finds your skirt again, scrunching the material and pushing it up your hips, you just realize how much you were pressing your thighs together to make the ache in your cunt go away. “I think you are just a woman, who never let anyone put her in her place.” Chris breathes out a laugh at your face, while he finally release himself from his pants and underwear. The sound you let out next send sparks straight to his cock, his tip at the seem of your underwear. Finally he has your full attention, eyes unmoving from his face and when his fingers push your underwear to the side he has to shiver from how much you are dripping all over him, because of him. His hand comes to your jaw, with the other leveling his cock to your entrance. “You are controlling — and even if you are fantastic in what you do, don’t you think you also need some kind of teaching?”

Your mind is fuzzy, staring at him as he pushes his hips into you and the sheer size of his mushroom tip makes your legs shake. Your body, face, wet and dripping cunt tells him everything to know not to stop his moves. “Fuck–“ The curse flies out of your mouth, when he bottoms out, kissing your cervix and the foreign word leaving your lips makes him groan. You hug him so well, tight, letting him know just how much you needed this. He doesn’t want to be gentle, not after all of your theatrics and teasing — not with the already fucked out look on your face.

The drag of his cock is delicious, filthy and you both can hear the sounds of your juices smearing across the both of you. Your knuckles turn white, gripping tightly at the edge of your desk with the first thrust of his hips. It makes you only arch more for him, air getting knocked out of you, when he starts to fuck into you so roughly, you only could fall forward and let him do whatever he wants. Chris’s lips are parted, tongue swiping across his teeth, eyes going to the sight of your pussy swallowing him whole. In the night lights he can see your glistening, creamy wetness on his cock, his hand pinching at your ass, mesmerized by you.

The way your hips try so desperately to match his erratic rhythm makes his chest tighten. “Yeah…yeah—“ He doesn’t know what to say for a moment as he meets your eye, when look back at him. He sees the small tears of pleasure in your gaze and something about the way you send him a small smile his way, makes him push you against his chest. “So good…so pretty.” You hum lowly at his words, looking at his face, breathing shakily from his thrusts. “It would be a pity to have you all to myself like this.”

Your eyebrows furrow, head tilting in confusion, but your face forms into shock, when he suddenly lifts you off your feet. Chris is swift, not letting you even think about, what he might do with you — no he shows you instead. He turns you both around, stumbling a little, before pushing you against the cold window of your office. “Chris–“ A gasp of his name leaves you, eyes wide and staring at the scenery under you, going over the high buildings next you and each light up window.

“Oh, know it’s Chris?” He knows the risk of someone seeing you like this, even if the possibility of someone seeing you so high up and quite far away is small, it still makes a rush of excitement go over you. Your cunt tightens around him and he finds it hard to maintain his sanity, with you gripping his so tightly.

Your breath fogs up the window, when he starts to move again, thighs press together and making him feel even bigger than he already is. You don’t think anyone ever handled you like this before — hand bruising on your hip, the other holding you against the window, fucking you so roughly and just like he said — putting you in your place. Your ears ring, already lost from the feeling of his cock ramming into you, each pulsing vein making your insides shake. “Chris…” He groans back at the sound of his name, head landing on the window next to yours to catch your gaze.

The coldness from the window on your chest and the warmness from his touch is all too much for you to handle. He can tell by the look in your eyes, closing each second that he bottoms out. “You feel so good–“ Chris finishes his words with a harsh smack on your asscheek and you only push against him more, so he only does it again. “You like that?” You can already feel the skin of your ass turning red and the burn left behind is way too good for you to not nod at his question.

“I c-can’t—“ You gasp, whimper, pushing your forehead against the window, but he doesn’t let you hide.

His hand finds your neck again, pulling you up to make you look back at him, hard chest on pressed on your back. “You can, baby, I know you can.” Chris is enjoying the way you turned so small, seeing finally the girl that always needed to do good. “Give it to me — cum for me.” You cry out at his words, lower tummy rumbling at his words, staring through blurry sight at the crazed look on his face.

You lean to kiss him, more tongue than lips, moaning and gasping into his mouth. He tightens the hand on your neck, cutting the air in your throat. Your ears ring, but you can still hear the smack of his hips and filthy words coming from his lips. You couldn’t hold it no more, the last bits of your pride-self thrown out of the window you were pressed against as he finds the one, squishy, soft spot inside you. Chris is too good at analyzing you now, because his thrusts only become more sharper, shorter and harsher, the tip of his cock brushing against the spot every time he bottoms out, till your eyes roll back inside your head.

Your orgasm make your whole body shake, the only thing not letting you slide down the now sleek window is his strong hold. The faces and noises you make are way better than his imagination. Your walls spasm around him, sucking him in, making his hips shutter, pushing only harder into you. He pulls you so close to his body that you feel his heart beating against your back, his hips stilling, thrusting up into you roughly and it almost makes you squeal. The deep growl he lets out, makes his chest rumble, nose digging into your hair as his cock twitches. You can feel him filling you to the brim, your mixed juices already making a creamy ring around the base of his cock. It’s so hot, filthy, marking you in the most intimate way possible, but the blissful fullness is ripped away from you, when he pulls out his still hard cock from your puffy pussy.

You want to turn around, for the second time confused and mostly shocked by his actions, because you see him from the corner of your eye falling down to kneel behind you. The hands on your hips don’t let you move an inch, letting him take a look of your spend cunt, thumbs pulling at your lips to get a closer look at your gaping hole. You would feel embarrassed if it weren’t for his tongue suddenly licking into you, scooping his and your orgasm into his hot mouth. You are at the brink of overstimulation, hair and clothes sticking to your sweaty skin, not even making a sound to stop him from pushing his face into your pussy from behind. His tongue is everywhere, all over you, tip of it flicking your puffy clit, then flattening, just to lick your whole cunt all the way to your rim. The only thing that wakes you up from your state of exhaustion and pleasure all together is him retrieving from you, pressing his chest to your back and to only shove his tongue inside your mouth to make you taste the tanginess of your mixed pleasures.

You both got exactly what you wanted — though neither of you is sure, when it will be enough.

[markleessodalite]

Loving You in Little Ways: NCT Dream

headcanon: how do the dreamies express their love for you in those small, almost unnoticed ways?

warnings: none :D its all fluffy baby

Mark:

Your humor becomes his.

Not only does he start stealing your jokes to use on his own friends, he also finds humor in things that might not have amused him before, just because they make you giggle.

Mark is already someone who thinks everything is funny, so how lucky is he to meet you, someone who finds humor in every situation?

There is rarely a time you two are together that you don’t have him in fits, and he thinks everyone should be able to experience the pure laughter and joy that you bring him.

(although his friends would argue that the jokes are not nearly as funny when he’s the one delivering them)

Renjun:

He gets you everything you need before you ask. Even before you realize you need it.

If he’s getting out of the shower and notices your moisturizer is a little less than half full, he’s stopping by the store to get you more tomorrow.

If you have the perfect pair of emerald earrings to wear with your dress tonight, but no necklace to match, he’s taking you to the jewelry store before the function.

All your special vitamins, hair care products, your favorite coffee, that one very specific brand of gel pens you use exclusively– whatever it is, Renjun just has a talent for noticing when you need it, and he’s the one to get it for you.

Jeno:

Little touches, anytime, anywhere.

Jeno may not always be super showy when it comes to expressing his love for you. He’s not a grand gestures kind of guy.

But there’s no doubt in your mind how he feels about you when his hands are on you 24/7.

Whether he’s lacing his fingers with yours while cuddled on the couch, pulling on the belt loop of your jeans to pull you in for a quick kiss, or tugging on the sleeve of your coat trying to get your attention off your phone and onto him.

You rarely go for more than a few minutes without feeling his fingers tracing along your body, searching for any little space to settle themselves in.

Haechan:

He wants to invite you to everything.

Sometimes dating Hyuck feels like dating all of his friends, too. If the group is planning to do something together, Hyuck’s first question is whether he can invite you or not.

Sure, it was a little awkward when you were sat on a bench watching them all play basketball, even though you were the only gf there, and you have absolutely no interest in basketball.

But Hyuck just can’t stand the idea of going out and having fun without you! Especially if its something thats not going to be fun– if he has errands to run, he needs you there with him to keep him sane.

If Donghyuck is going literally anywhere, there’s a 99% chance he’s begging you to go with him.

Jaemin:

Jaemin doesn’t love in little ways.

Everything with him is big, and grand, and romantic– and it doesn’t take much for small moments to become big.

One minute you’re cuddling on the couch, the next minute he’s twirling you around, copying the dancers on the tv.

One minute you’re sharing a soda in the kitchen, the next minute he’s cooking an extravagant meal for you to share at a candlelit table.

Jaemin has such a talent for making a random weeknight feel like the pinnacle of a romantic holiday, for turning microscopic sparks into fireworks, that you’re sure he somehow plans every single moment of your time together beforehand.

In reality, Jaemin just loves you, so truly and dearly, that he doesn’t know how to show it in little ways.

Chenle:

He listens. Particularly, he listens in moments when he’d usually be talking.

Chenle loves to talk, to discuss, to gossip, to yap on and on and on, and its certainly no different around you.

But in the quieter moments, when its just the two of you, he’s not talking or discussing or gossiping. He’s hanging on your every word, listening to you as if your story about an almost-forgotten high school memory is sacred scripture.

He takes everything you say to heart, which is how you discovered he’s a little more sensitive than you initially thought (and now you know not to joke about those few little things that make him tick).

He listens to you, drinking in every string of poetry that falls from your lips, and he remembers, ingraining every detail into his own brain until he knows you better than you know yourself.

Jisung:

He stares. He just kinda… stares at you.

You thought it was weird at first, especially when you would catch him and he’d immediately look away as if he’d just broken some unspoken rule.

Eventually you realized this staring was more a symptom of Jisung not totally knowing how to show you he loves you.

He’ll notice your hands close to each other while walking at night, and he’ll think about how he wants to hold it. Then he’ll think about whether he should hold it or not. Maybe you wouldn’t want him to, or maybe if he reaches for it you’ll pull away at the same time and it’ll be awkward…

and that’s when you notice him looking down at you a little too long, leaving you wondering what he’s thinking.

Of course, him being a little timid about affection isn’t the only reason he stares at you. He also finds you quite pretty– utterly captivating, actually, which is the main reason why he can’t stop looking at you.

[minswriting]

nsfw | mdni | aaron hotchner x reader | masturbation (m), hotch is an ass man can you blame him? this is for my big bootied bitches. does this count as perv!hotch?

aaron hotchner prided himself in his professionalism and decorum. he never allowed personal thoughts and feelings to get in the way of his work or at least he tried his best not to. if he was struggling mentally, his team never knew. if he was having an off day, no one could really tell. he didn’t allow anything to distract him from catching criminals or doing his work.

that was until you came into work wearing a pencil skirt that hugged your curves a little too nicely.

it was one of those days when the team was just filing paperwork, waiting for a call to come in. you usually wore slacks, jeans, keeping this business casual. but today was the first day you had ever worn a skirt. and aaron, who is usually so composed and doesn’t allow himself to get distracted, kept not-so-subtly checking out your ass.

every time you bent over to pick up something that had fallen out of your hands or off of your desk. when you had gone into his office to give him a file and walked out. when you walked to go grab yourself a coffee. aaron’s eyes never left your form.

he just couldn’t help it. he wondered how the flesh looked like underneath that skirt. how it would look like as he pounded your pussy from behind, the way it would jiggle with each hard thrust he would give you.

aaron groaned as his mind plagued him with these thoughts of having you underneath him as he fucked you relentlessly. he had hardly focused on work today, which was a first in a long while. his cock was just so painfully hard, straining against the trousers of his suit. he knew he had to take care of it.

he stood up from his desk in his office, adjusting himself before walking to the mens bathroom. he wasn’t going to jerk off in his office, not when everyone could walk in to drop off a file. he went into one of the stalls and locked it, sighing as he leaned against the stall door.

he looked down at himself, the bulge in his pants so obvious now. he palmed himself, teasing himself for just a moment before unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. he pulled them down along with his briefs just enough to let his cock spring out. he looked down at himself, his length already red and precum gracing the tip. and with a sharp inhale, aaron began stroking his cock.

he wasn’t slow with it. he was at work after all and had a job to maintain. even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to take his time with himself like he usually did. aaron’s strokes were hard and fast as he leaned his head against the bathroom stall, closing his eyes as his mind conjured up thoughts of you.

aaron wanted so badly to fuck you. to bury his cock so deep inside of your cunt and fuck you senseless. the way your ass would jiggle from his thrusts was enough to have him bucking his hips into his fist. he imagined what you would sound like, whining and moaning his name in a wanton fashion.

aaron’s let out a shaky breath, pumping his cock. each time his hand moved upward, he swiped over his tip with his thumb, causing his hips to jolt from pleasure. it didn’t take long for him to get close, his cock stiffening in his hand as he fucked himself. he positioned his cock over the toilet as he continued to move his hand, not wanting to create a mess all over himself and the bathroom. and with a thought about you cumming on his cock, your walls clenching around him, aaron began cumming, careful to not let out any noises as he spilt his seed.

and when he was finished, he breathed heavily. he tucked himself back into his underwear and pants, zipping himself up before flushing the toilet. he washed his hands thoroughly and walked out of the bathroom.

and as he made his way back to the bullpen, he was met with the sight of you bent over, digging through a filing cabinet, causing aaron to internally groan. because he was most certainly not going to be able to get any work done at all.

[lotusstarr]

Bakugou's Romance

Bakugou, whose grandfather is CEO where he coincidently works at, had hired you to become his personal secretary for his department. Who is pissed because you are just an overachiever, who is a dog for the company ever since you two joined at the same time. Bakugou was going to everything it took for you to quit being his secretary. You who the whole time you’ve been working for this company have been hard-working working late nights to going in early to get ahead of the work. When the CEO brought you in to talk to you you thought you were going to get a promotion for all the hard work you’ve put into this company. You never expected to become a secretary, Bakugou’s secretary at that. Even since you two joined the company at the same time you hated him for being loud and rude to everyone( sucks that he’s your type). You were going to refuse however the CEO baited you for him to pay for your brother’s scholarships for college. You hesitated but agreed wanting nothing but the best for your brother. The first couple of days were complete hell. You don’t know why the CEO thinks that you're a good candidate to handle Bakugou. This man is just so cruel and acts like a spoiled brat. From throwing out the coffee you brought him, not wanting to go to any meetings, to piling up loads of work on purpose. You're going to explode, explode on the inside. On the outside, you just smile and comply with his demands and rude comments like nothing, as if it doesn’t bother you in the slightest bit. Bakugou on the other hand, sees that and is pissed your just taking it but is not surprised either since you've always been and looked like this like everything is perfect and handled easily. And the way you’ve been wearing the same boring glasses slicked back ponytail, and the same boring blouse and long skirt pisses him off how can someone wear the same thing for so many years it irks him.

As it was finally the weekend you wanted nothing more but to just relax and stay home after this hellish week. However, you completely forgot that you had promised your best friend to go for her on this date with this guy she met online. She forgot that she had a concert to go to and was not going to miss that concert at all so you told her you’d go to the date for her. Since you don’t have any cute outfits to wear or have never really dressed up your best friend made it a mission for you to look like a completely different person a you 2.0. When u looked in the mirror after your best friend finished your makeover you couldn’t believe it was really you or someone else. Your hair was curled down perfectly, your makeup looked good not too much makeup but just the perfect amount and the outfit you were wearing was drop-dead gorgeous you never thought you could look this good. You thanked your bsf for this beautiful transformation and felt confident that you can take over the world!

Sitting across from you now at this fancy restaurant is your date chatting away about his work. He’s nice and has been very polite to you during the date but honestly, he’s too boring (and just too plain looking) you are just counting down the minutes till this date ends then you can put on your plain clothes back and watch TV. However, your date asks you if you want to continue this at the bar next door. You decline and tell him that you have work tomorrow in the morning and head to the restroom before you leave. Looking at yourself in the mirror again makes you think how you never really do this and you should at least treat yourself to one drink, especially after this whole week your boss gave you.

Bakugou came over to this bar to hang out with his friends but the whole time his friends were teasing him about how is he 30 and that he’s never had a gf and telling him should just get one already. Bakugou annoyed at them just ignores them and drinks the rest of his whiskey in one go as his eyes scan the front entrance is a very beautiful woman but not just any beautiful woman it’s you. Well, he thought it was someone that looked like you. Not until he pulled out his phone to text you to see if it was actually you as soon as he hit send he saw you immediately open your purse and respond back to him. He couldn’t believe his eyes that someone like you his coworker now secretary who for years looked so plain and boring looked so beautiful it was like you were hiding this beauty from the world.

You promised yourself one drink however one drink turned into five and now you were drunk. Everything was spinning asyou'rer leaving the bar, acreepy-lookingg guy came up to you trying to take you home. You declined him drunkenly but he still persisted until a familiar voice spoke up behind you guys. As you turn to where the voice is you are surprised it was Bakugou there. The creep thankfully left after Bakugou threw threats at him, and walked you home.

As you guys were walking (you were leaning on him) You mumbled how hot you were and hastily tried to take off your blouse. Just as you were trying to take it off Bakugou saw the top of your cleavage, his head was gonna explode he took off his jacket and hurriedly put on the jacket on you while his face was heavily flushed red. after that during the walk home, he was blushing the entire time, even up close you look so beautiful. As you guys got to your apartment you slurred Bakugou that you'll see him on Monday and bid him a goodnight see him on Monday. As Bakugou walked home and entered his home his face was now fire red and thought about how he was going to face you on Monday his personal assistant...and crush.

Never wrote anything like this before but this was fun! i'm pretty proud of it⪩(ᐢᗜᐢ)⪨ This is inspired by the Manhwa "Iseop's Romance" that story is SO GOOD!!

[xyywrites]

Overused Words in Writing & How to Avoid Them

We’ve all got our comfort words—those trusty adjectives, verbs, or phrases we lean on like a crutch. But when certain words show up too often, they lose their impact, leaving your writing feeling repetitive or uninspired.

1. “Very” and Its Cousins

Why It’s Overused: It’s easy to tack on “very” for emphasis, but it’s vague and doesn’t pull its weight.

Instead of: “She was very tired.” Try: “She was exhausted.” / “She dragged her feet like lead weights.”

💡 Tip: Use precise, vivid descriptions rather than vague intensifiers.

2. “Looked” and “Saw”

Why It’s Overused: It’s functional but flat, and it often tells instead of shows.

Instead of: “He looked at her in disbelief.” Try: “His eyebrows shot up, his lips parting as if words had failed him.”

💡 Tip: Focus on body language or sensory details instead of relying on generic verbs.

3. “Suddenly”

Why It’s Overused: It’s often used to create surprise, but it tells readers how to feel instead of letting the scene deliver the shock.

Instead of: “Suddenly, the door slammed shut.” Try: “The door slammed shut, the sound ricocheting through the empty room.”

💡 Tip: Let the action or pacing create urgency without needing to announce it.

4. “Said” (When Overdone or Misused)

Why It’s Overused: While “said” is often invisible and functional, using it in every dialogue tag can feel robotic.

Instead of: “I can’t believe it,” she said. “Me neither,” he said. Try: Replace with an action: “I can’t believe it.” She ran a hand through her hair, pacing. “Me neither.” He leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

💡 Tip: Don’t ditch “said” entirely; just mix it up with context clues or action beats.

5. “Felt”

Why It’s Overused: It’s a shortcut that tells instead of showing emotions.

Instead of: “She felt nervous.” Try: “Her palms slicked with sweat, and she couldn’t stop her leg from bouncing.”

💡 Tip: Let readers infer emotions through sensory details or behavior.

6. “Really” and “Actually”

Why It’s Overused: They add little to your sentences and can dilute the impact of stronger words.

Instead of: “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Try: “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

💡 Tip: If a sentence works without these words, cut them.

7. “Walked” or “Ran”

Why It’s Overused: These are go-to movement words, but they can feel bland when used repeatedly.

Instead of: “He walked into the room.” Try: “He strolled in like he owned the place.” / “He shuffled in, avoiding everyone’s eyes.”

💡 Tip: Use verbs that convey mood, speed, or attitude.

8. “Just”

Why It’s Overused: It sneaks into sentences unnecessarily, weakening your prose.

Instead of: “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Try: “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

💡 Tip: Delete “just” unless it adds essential nuance.

9. “Thought”

Why It’s Overused: It tells readers what a character is thinking instead of showing it through internal dialogue or action.

Instead of: “She thought he might be lying.” Try: “His story didn’t add up. The timelines didn’t match, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes.”

💡 Tip: Immerse readers in the character’s perspective without announcing their thoughts.

10. “Nice” and Other Vague Adjectives

Why It’s Overused: It’s generic and doesn’t give readers a clear picture.

Instead of: “He was a nice guy.” Try: “He always remembered her coffee order and held the door open, even when his arms were full.”

💡 Tip: Show qualities through actions instead of relying on vague descriptors.

Final Tips for Avoiding Overused Words:

1. Use a thesaurus wisely: Swap overused words for synonyms, but stay true to your character’s voice and the scene’s tone.

2. Read your work aloud: You’ll catch repetitive patterns and clunky phrases more easily.

3. Edit in layers: Focus on eliminating overused words during your second or third pass, not your first draft.

[onlyquinns]

COFFEE SHOP CONFESSIONS, q. hughes

pairing: quinn hughes x reader

content: sitting for a cup of coffee with quinn takes a turn when unspoken thoughts from years ago finally arise, angsty, quinn might be ooc, allusions to sex but no actual smut

rain patters harshly against the window panes of the little coffee shop quinn sits inside of, calloused fingers wrapped tenderly around a warm ceramic mug. his head is ducked low and his hair is pulled back into a black yankees cap—one that he had to steal back from jack during the devils's short visit to the city.

a memory from years ago comes to the front of his mind as he peers up at you sitting across from him; glimpses of long limbs tangled in his sheets, his hands and fingers pressed into your soft skin, your hair sprawled out beneath you, and the soft sound of gasps and moans.

he doesn’t know how the two of you have got to this point, gone from lovers and best friends to acquaintances who meet once or twice in a blue moon to ‘catch up,’ an excuse quinn makes up every time to see your face one more time before he thinks you’ll inevitably refuse to.

you glance up from your own mug and smile softly at quinn, and he tries to memorize every freckle and faded acne scar on your face, so desperate to recall the way you look in the case you go from acquaintances to strangers. your cheeks are far less rounded now than when you’d first met during orientation at umich, more defined now that you’re older and out of college, and quinn is so devastatingly aware of how sharper and more defined his own face is—how fast time goes by without you by his side even though to him it feels like an eternity.

“so,” you start softly, drawing quinn from his thoughts, “what’s up?” you say it so casually that quinn’s chest aches and he swallows harshly, his throat dry and burning.

“aren’t you sick of this?” he blurts, his green-blue eyes peering at his own reflection in his coffee mug. the distorted version of himself seems to mock him, glaring at him for trying to destroy something that could be good with someone the both of them need.

confusion splits across your face, soft smile turned unsure and brows pinched together—quinn grips his mug a little tighter to keep himself from smoothing the space between them over, a habit he’d developed during your first finals week in college.

“i don’t know what you mean,” you tell him, unsure smile now gone and a small frown pulling at your lips instead. you tilt your chin down toward your mug and stare blankly into the liquid inside, losing yourself in the dark contents. “what’s there to be sick of?”

anger bubbles in quinn’s chest, not at you—never at you—but at the situation he’s put himself in. “this,” he vaguely insists, freeing his mug from his rough fingers and instead taking hold of his cap and hair. “where we act like i’m not in love with you anymore, where we pretend everything is fine and ignore that at one point we knew every detail about one another. aren’t you sick of that?”

tears prickle in your eyes, blurring your vision slightly. quinn’s right; you were so tired of pretending with him, so exhausted from going about your daily life trying to rid yourself of every thought of him only to end up back in vancouver in a desperate act to see him again.

“yeah, i am,” you whimper, breaking quinn’s heart a fraction. “i’m really tired of acting like… like i don’t pretend every other person i’ve ever been with is you.”

your admission sends shock rippling through quinn’s body, stunning him momentarily. the little reflection of himself in his coffee mug ripples away, like a little spirit finished with what it intended to do before separating from the real world.

“then don’t,” he tells you, reaching toward you to grip your soft fingers between his. he runs his thumb in circles and letters over the backs of your knuckles, the action soothing for the both of you. “i want to be yours—if you’ll let me. i won’t mess things up this time; i won’t leave you.”

your fingers weakly grip his, trembling in his hold. your guys’ drinks are long cold and the rain outside has lightened, inviting the sun back through the clouds. light streaks across quinn’s eyes, wide and hopeful, and the growing sunlight highlights the specks of brown scattered through the blue.

you inhale deeply, the sound rattly from the unshed tears and emotions deep in your chest. “what if you do, though,” you breathe. “what if i wake up and one day you’re gone, realized i’m not worth it.” insecurity plagues your mind, ebbing its way into your features, into the way you look at quinn through watery lashes.

quinn’s heart sinks deeper with your words, regret filling his entire body. “i’m sorry for leaving you,” he says, inhaling deeply as the memory of his last morning in michigan with you several years ago comes to mind. he’d left you still asleep in his bed at his parents’ house, the sheets curled tightly to your chest and smelling so heavily like him you hadn’t noticed he’d left. “it was a stupid mistake. i didn’t realize that what i had back then—with you—was the best thing to have ever happened to me. i thought… i thought playing in the nhl was the most important thing to have ever happened to me, but i know now that it was actually meeting you—loving you, being loved by you. i’m sorry.”

tears stream down your cheeks as you sob in the quiet coffee shop, fingers tightly digging into quinn’s. the way he looks at you is so earnest you have no choice but to believe him, believe that if you were to pack up your life back home and haul it to canada that quinn wouldn’t abandon you like an old toy after a week.

“please,” quinn nearly begs as he squeezes your hand even tighter, knuckles whitening against yours. “i need you in every way possible, in every universe ever. we can work things out, here in vancouver—or anywhere. i’d drop anything, everything, for you. i promise—i swear.”

quinn’s throat bobs as he watches you intently, waiting for a response. you nod your head furiously, nose scrunched up as you choke on a sob. you cover your mouth with the back of your free hand, still nodding.

“okay,” you rasp against your hand, tears no longer streaming down your face. “i believe you. we can work this out together. i believe you.”

quinn ducks his head graciously, reaching across to cup your hand with both of his. his palms easily envelop yours, tightly wrapped around it as if you’ll take your words back and walk away from him forever.

“thank you,” he whispers, his lips nearly brushing the table. “thank you.”

all photos from pinterest

[anyalovesu]

𝓷ever recover

idol!Heeseung x lsf member!reader

— get over the tv show and live life like you used to. that’s what you promised yourself when your members chose you to participate in the tv show your group was selected to star in. it was never your intention to fall for heeseung in real life, but you’re here anyway.

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

genre : fluff/angst w comfort (?)

pairings : heeseung x fem!reader

wc : 14.2k+ words

cw :

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ idol!au ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ reader has eating issues (tw!!) ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ yunjin and yeonjun being in a rs mentioned ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ reader is a member of le sserafim, '03 liner ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ (ft. beomgyu from txt, lsf members, and en- members ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ heavily inspired by joy and sungjae from when they were in we got married ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ slight smut (?) very suggestive ending ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ mentions of sasaengs, obsessive fans, death threats ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ lmk if i missed something hehe ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ not proofread (yet hehe)

playlist : i'll never recover જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

“It’s going to be an amazing opportunity for you to actually give people some perspective!” Chaewon pleads with you in the common room while you sit there with the rest of the girls, just arriving from your dinner with your managers where you found out that Le Sserafim was offered to participate in a tv show.

Arguably, this would definitely make or break your group's long standing record of hate trains. You’ve gotten used to it at this point. This would assuredly bring some of those back in a bigger surge most probably, but the rest of them were arguing that it would be a good opportunity to show them a side of you that they have not before—especially since you were always branded as the man-repellant of the group ever since your debut with your playful show of disinterest in dating.

“And if the perspective doesn’t turn out to be what you think it is?” You sighed, fiddling with the strings of your hoodie. You wished you could banter about this the way you normally do, but by the way you were hyper aware of the camera clipped on your table, you knew it would probably not be the best idea to do right now.

“Then you did it for the plot!” Yunjin playfully jokes, making you snort quietly. “If it doesn’t turn out well, then we can just laugh at it and say that you did it for the plot!”

You’ve always done that. You were never one to have inhibitions to do whatever you pleased, which also meant you were a big pain in the ass for your managers and PR associates. This was a huge step in the box on what you usually do, but you’re not going to argue that the seemingly impulsivity of it all seemed very on-brand for your fearless and playful persona.

“It would’ve been you most probably if you stayed in the US with your parents. I’m pretty sure those American boys would’ve been head over heels for you!” Yunjin egged on even more.

“When am I going to find out who it is?” you asked your manager who was sitting on one end of the coffee table in the common room. 

“Once you’re in the show, they’re going to surprise you on who it is?”

“Is he going to be in a different company or the same?” You bombarded your manager with questions which ultimately made your group laugh with how persistent you are with milking your manager for answers. Most of you knew that he probably already knows who it is by the way he tried to avoid your gaze while actively deflecting your questions. 

“You have to wait!”  he says finally. “I just want to know if you are really sure about this. You know we can always decline the offer.”

“Crazy shit like this doesn't come everyday,”  you laughed. You knew it was unreasonable and the arguments you have to defend your claim on why you should actually do the show would probably not stand well in court but you are you. You’re always going to say yes to the most outrageous shit that offers itself to you. You were fearless after all.

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You paced around to try and calm your nerves when the production staff from the tv show began to set up in your practice room where you and your members would meet your virtual “husband” for the first time through a mystery zoom call. You were oriented that they would have you message each other first and try to get as much information from each other before finally going to the meet up place tomorrow so that you could formally meet. As the call time drew closer and closer, you couldn’t help but feel your feet turn cold, finding yourself in deeper waters than you would usually dare to go to. Besides, who even has an absolutely insanity of a mind to agree with this outrageous show? You were starting to delude yourself that this was a prank and that your manager wasn’t actually going to have you marry for the next 30 days. You have a busy schedule! You are already going insane as it is, is he really going to let you do this?

“Honey, come back here,” Yunjin laughed as she pulled you to plop on the couch next to her and the girls. “You know I can’t tell if you're anxious or you're excited?”

“I don’t know either,” you chuckle at her. It was true. The thrill of being out of the dorms and living with a complete stranger for an entire month was exciting. In a game of most likely to, the girls would’ve pointed at you the same way they did when the offer was discussed with your group in that dinner. This really was something you would most likely do compared to the other girls but whoever you were going to be paired with will determine how this is going to go. You have a massive ten-wheeler truck of  hate waiting to crush you and leave you for dead without an active career in entertainment. You were worried this was not the amazing opportunity they made you think it was.

“Okay, we’re starting in 2,” the producer smiled at you girls as he held up a hand to get your attention. 

You couldn’t help but stare at your phone on the table showing your lock screen, watching the numbers turn from the displayed time before the director finally calls everyone’s attention by handing your leader white box adorned with a bright red ribbon around it, holding it securely.

“Oh!” Chaewon giggles excitedly, “I can't believe my baby Y/N is going to be the first to get married! My baby!”

You were only 3 years younger than Chaewon and a few months younger than Kazuha, but you were always referred to as Chaewon’s baby because of the doting  nature that the leader had for you and your group’s youngest member, Eunchae. 

Chaewon happily helps herself in opening the gift box, finding an envelope and a phone in the box.

“Oh, you have a mission card! And a phone!” Sakura chimes.

“Is it your invitation? Am I invited to your wedding? What is the phone for?” Eunchae bombards you with questions, excitement practically bursting through her seams. 

“I can’t believe you’re getting married before your Unnies!” Yunjin adds.

Chaewon opens the envelope to find a mission card which read in wedding-esque lettering, 

“To Y/N, your virtual marriage starts tomorrow but first you must get to know your virtual husband through a special couple app that we have made especially for you.”

“Do you think your husband will be younger or older?” Yunjin asked.

“I hope he is older or the same age,” you replied politely. “I don’t want him to be younger. It would feel wrong. My grandpa is older than my grandma, and my dad is also oppa to my mom. I also have a little brother who is only younger than me by exactly a year. That would feel really weird.”

“I think older would also be fitting for you,” Sakura replied. “ I think you need someone who will take care of you and you tend to be a little stubborn towards your peers that are your age.”

“She literally does not eat unless it’s the unnies that tell her to eat,” Kazuha complained. “She would literally just watch me eat!”

“I am taught to not eat before my elders do!” you argued, remembering that because you were raised in a traditional household before you moved in with your grandparents, who also upheld necessary traditional values,  in Uiwang-si when you told your parents you wanted to be a musician in Korea, you were very connected to what you were taught to be disrespectful and what not.

“Girl, you are just a picky eater and are always looking for an excuse to skip meals,” Yunjin chuckled. “I hope your husband makes you eat different things.”

“I’m going to eat ramyeon.” you joked.

“I hope my brother-in-law does not make you eat ramyeon,” Eunchae laughed. “You need to eat healthy, too much ramyeon cannot be good for you.”

“Brother-in-law?!” Chaewon sounded appalled upon hearing Eunchae call the mystery man as such already.

“They are virtually married, are they not?” Sakura laughed at Chaewon, poking fun at the excessive reaction from the leader. “I agree that we should call him brother-in-law from now on.”

“Tomorrow! The virtual marriage starts tomorrow!”

After the yap session, which you were very sure was going to be in fast forward once the episode airs, you finally decided to open the app to find your virtual husband already sent you a message.

“He sent me a message already!” You laughed dryly, trying not to make you seem too excited before you deadpanned, “oh I already feel like the prettiest person in the world.”

Hello. Do you play video games?

“Oh! He asked if she plays video games!” Kazuha happily jumps as soon as she sees the message.

“Oh no!” Chaewon jokingly whines. “They are going to play video games all day!”

Yes. I play Valorant.

“I have a feeling that they will bond very well!” Yunjin announces. “The vibes are vibing right now and they have a total of 2 messages to each other!”

The next few messages were responded to very quickly, both parties seemingly anticipating the response of the other. You could help but start to wonder who your virtual husband was or was this some elaborate prank to get you to break and show a new character that the media hasn’t seem to unlock yet. It was a crazy idea after all.

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“Hi guys,” you chuckled towards your little camera mounted on a small tripod, even though cameramen surrounded the HYBE Cafe to capture the scene. “Good afternoon!” You made sure to bow and greet everyone from the production staff and the cafe staff before making your way to the seat that you were oriented to sit in. 

“I was told that I had to prepare a gift,” you started after propping your mini camera on the table. “So, my gift is in here…” you made sure to let them see the little brown box that you and Kazuha decorated in your dorm last night after you had packed your things to move for a month with the mystery virtual husband that you will meet today.

You were told that while the two of you will be living together, given that company would not fully allow you sleeping next to someone remotely close to tempting you to ruin your own career, you were assured that after filming you are allowed to sleep in the other room in the apartment they were going to make you stay in for the next 4 weeks.

“I’m just going to spoil it,” you yap while waiting to be signalled that your on-screen partner is there already. “It’s a gaming keyboard since he mentioned that he plays video games. I thought maybe I should get him an xbox controller but I’m not sure if he plays games that use that. So a keyboard would be more generic to give. I promise to give better gifts to my virtual husband when I get to know him better.”

As if on cue, right after you talked to your little camera about your gift, you were asked to put on a blindfold because your virtual partner has arrived and they want you to have a first look at each other at the same time.

“You may now take off your blindfold,” the producer instructed before you tugged on the lace of the blindfold behind your head. 

Your eyes had to take a good few seconds before it could adjust and recognize the person sitting across you. 

“Oh shit.”

You immediately slapped a hand over your mouth in surprise that you actually said it out loud. You only meant to keep it in your thoughts, but it’s Lee Heeseung from Enhypen.

His fans are going to hunt you down, you were so sure of it but the assuring look on his face as surprise wore off of it as he got used to looking at you made you seem more comfortable.

You’ve interacted with him a couple of times before. Maybe made a tik tok with him once or twice. The ship was very unlikely, you weren’t very sure why your managers agreed to this, whereas if they had placed Kazuha or Yunjin in your place, considering the amount of manips he has with your other members, they would’ve gone more viral.

“Hello,” he bowed to you politely, even getting up in his seat again to do a full 90 degree bow. You found yourself mirroring his actions almost immediately. 

“Lee Heeseung,” he introduced himself, holding his hand out.

“L/N Y/N,” you replied in the same tone before accepting his hand to shake. 

“Did you have a hunch on who your virtual partner would be?” 

You both looked at each other, trying to recall from the conversation last week before shaking your head. There were a couple of other idols that played video games—it could've been your best friend, Beomgyu for all you cared.

Oh shit. Beomgyu. He is going to crash out when he finds out you're married to his other bestie for the next month and you haven't even told him you're doing this.

“How are you feeling then? Now that you already know who your partner is for the next few weeks?” The production staff was giddy. They were through the roof with squeals from behind the camera every now and then. 

“Choi Beomgyu is going to kill me for virtually marrying his other bestie,” you replied frankly, holding back your laughter as you looked at the director. “Ya! He's going to lecture me for hours about marrying him!”

“I think he will kill me first—”

“We made sure Beomgyu will not burst through the door,” your director announces. 

“Unless he is tied up in the basement for the next 30 days, we are never sure if he's not going to burst into our apartment instead,” Heeseung jokes, leaning back against his chair. 

You take a good look at him. If you were to be honest, you've never looked at him for this long. By some fucked up standard, you have trained yourself not to look at people for too long, at least not long enough for unsuspected cameras to capture. You've never had a dating rumor since debut which was honestly a big deal for you—and now this. But that's besides the point.

Heeseung reeked of charisma. He had this good aura around him that made you feel comfortable. He was undeniably handsome and lean. God. He seemed like his parents carefully crafted him with handpicked good genes from their body and took their absolute time of their lives creating him with love—he definitely did not looked like he was made from a fuck and go situation. He was a masterpiece himself—god what are you even thinking? 

“Y/N, Heeseung asked for your coffee order,” your manager repeated, snapping you back to reality.

Heeseung chuckled at your previous zoned-out state. He daresay you looked adorable with your pupil blown out and seemingly in deep thought to not recognize that you were being instructed to do something.

“Oh it’s just a Spanish Latte, thank you so much,” you replied to him. He grinned at you as he nodded before you hid your face in embarrassment.

The crimson in your face began spreading to your ears which made the production team squeal in delight at your sudden shyness. Even your manager and Heeseung’s manager who sat closely to the director could not hide the stupid grin on their faces as the cameramen tried to capture the obvious blush on your face.

“This should be illegal, why does he smile like that?” you playfully talked to your small camera on the table. “He looks like he knows everything about me but not in a creepy way!”

“Really?” 

Oh sweet babybel cheese. He heard that.

“No! It was a joke!” You panicked, hiding your face with your hands as you kept your head low on the table to avoid looking at him again. 

It hasn’t been an hour and you’ve already embarrassed yourself for about more times than your hands could count. Everything Sakura just taught you about flirting before you came here was suddenly out the window. You were a huge bag of disappointment and embarrassment right now and you don’t even know how you managed to do that much in such a short span of time.

“I’m just really flustered, I’m sorry,” you apologized before coming up with another yap topic, “I have been training since I was 14 and was homeschooled before that. My social skills had to be developed in training.” 

“My manager only told me, my partner was from Uiwang-si,” he told you. “My manager hasn’t told me anything after that.”

“He's right! I am from Uiwang-si! My grandparents live there!” You replied happily. “I have lived there since I was 14.”

“I was born there!”

“We should visit there before our marriage ends! My grandpa is going to have a heart attack if he finds that I came there with a husband!” You laughed. “I brought my friends there one time, and then Beomgyu was there! He told me after that if Beomgyu hadn't been the way he is, he would've assumed he was my boyfriend and his blood pressure would have shot up.”

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

“How would you describe your childhood?” you asked, reading the cue cards they had given you as your “get to know each other activity”.

“Hard,” he jokingly laughed. “Looking back at it now, half of my childhood was training and worrying if I'll ever debut.”

He made it sound light and funny but it was a reality for many people, especially in the kpop industry. Once upon a time, you also thought about whether you should've just continued pursuing your ballet career in the US because your dream of the kpop scene did not seem to go anywhere. You were lucky your grandmother insisted that you continue your ballet lessons on top of training with Source back then so that you'd always had that safety net if ever you ended up not pursuing your kpop career.

“You debuted though,” you reminded him, his face softening at your tone and your statement. “Arguably one of the best performers of our generation also. So I guess, the hard work paid off, huh?”

Heeseung was stunned. He's always reminded of how far he's come by many of his peers but somehow, hearing it from someone who trained for a year longer than he did, validated something in him. He knew you would be able to understand what it felt like to hold your career so dearly after working day in and day out for it.

“It did. Yours too.”

Heeseung knew about you. He would be lying if he said he didn't have a tiny crush on you. You were highly regarded as Source's golden child. You were their secret weapon trainee and he's always known that whenever it may be, when you debut, you were going to make it big—international, even. And now you are sitting in front of him, after you did make it international with your Coachella stint, which you and your members did well in his opinion despite the criticisms. Maybe you could give him a couple of tips on what he can do better for their turn next year..

“I remember seeing you in the Hybe building,” you smiled at him. “Source was just acquired by Hybe and I was relatively a new recruit. I think you and some of your other members were preparing to go to I-land back then. I had a short conversation with Jay because he heard that there was another American in the building.”

You were a spectacle to Heeseung from the get go. He knew Jay spoke to you but he couldn’t do the same after he got intimidated by the rapid English words that made your conversation with him seem so enjoyable for the both of you. He didn’t want to insert himself into a situation he didn’t know how to sustain, so he stayed back.

“That’s why he knows you!” he laughs. “You did very well in your training too. We were really happy when we heard the news that you were going to debut!”

“He was really a good brother figure to me,” you explained. “Him and Yunjin always made me feel close to home.”

“I am looking forward to making you feel at home too then,” he replied, making you cackle at his pick-up line. 

“To be fair, Uiwang-si is my home too, so I am looking forward to that!”

“You haven’t answered the question yet, though,” he reminds you, pointing at your cue card, reminding you once again that you have lost yourself in a stream of thought. 

You look at your cue card to check the question once again as you laughed at yourself, trying very hard to focus on what you were actually doing. 

You thought of your childhood but it seemed that it wasn’t any different than his. You were dancing the moment you were able to balance yourself on your own. You’ve been doing ballet since you were three, did full time training as soon as you were old enough to be in a pre-professional program before you were recruited by Source Music in a ballet recital when you were 14. That somehow awakened a dream in you that you didn’t know you had. You wanted to resist it at first. Ballet has been your whole life—you are leaving an entire career of continuous conditioning, training and dance competitions for a chance to be in the spotlight in your home country. It seemed far-fetched to leave an entire life behind for what could be but it was what your heart desired and being the ever so impulse-driven person that you are—it brought you here.

“Ballet has been my entire childhood. I was on my toes for half of it, and crying for the half because I feel like I will never be good enough or because something hurts,” you explained to him while holding back a laugh. “I think I will still be doing that if I didn't debut but you know, I don't think I'll be as happy.”

Heeseung could watch you talk all day. It seems all too surreal to even fathom that he will be virtually married to the girl he had a tiny crush on before he went to I-Land. You were still a sight to see, even years after the last time he was in close proximity. 

-

The day eventually ended and you were in the living room of your home for the next month. All  the cameras were either shut off or taken home by the production staff at last so you were able to sit comfortably on the living room couch watching your favorite show on the TV. 

“I'm making ramyeon,” Heeseung calls from the kitchen connecting to the living room. “Do you want some?”

“Yes, oppa!” you replied to him, raising a thumbs up just in case he didn't hear you properly. 

You have decided to drop the honorifics for the camera and just let me gradually lose it as time goes after the cameras are out during one of your  a while ago. 

It didn't feel like you were going to have a hard time working and living with Heeseung. He was a gentleman after all and has a nurturing nature in him. You know Chaewon wishes he's not going to feed you ramyeon right now just like they had predicted but it could be worse. You and Heeseung didn't have any interactions personally other than for the tiktoks prior to today so it's a huge step already to have him cook for you.

“We should go buy groceries tomorrow with unnies,” you tell him quietly as you both enjoyed your own bowl of ramyeon and some spam. “They will not be very happy if we eat this for the rest of the month.”

He did not object to it, nodded before asking, “Did you really want to do this?”

You look at him, curious as to why he would ask that suddenly. Was he expecting someone else? Did he not want you to be here?

You shook your head, trying to deflect, even though deep down inside of you, you wanted to do this just to see how it would turn out. 

“You?”

“Just wanted to know how it would turn out,” he snorted. “Jake didn't want to do it. He would be a mess the entire show too. My guy is too nervous and too hormonal for his own good.”

“Could've turned it down?”

“I barely had a girlfriend when I was in highschool and right now, our fans would quite literally destroy anyone remotely close to seemingly dating me.” He chuckled. “I don't think I'll ever be with someone anyway in my 20’s. So I just went for it.”

The utter ingenuity of his explanation somehow got you because you did feel the same. Yunjin was blasted when she got the dating rumor with Yeonjun. The world seemed to close on her when it happened because it seemed like everyone was trying to end our career because of it. It never stopped though, people trying to end your group. You just started to learn not to give a damn what they have to tell you.

“What about you?” 

“I don't really care what happens,” you reply. “I don't even know how I feel about it right now. But I'm glad it's you.”

“I'm glad it's you too,” he chuckled before going back to just sitting there in comfortable silence while you watched Grey's Anatomy on the TV.

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“You look unwell,” Heeseung points out, concern laced in his voice as he watches you come out of your room to get ready for the day. “Can you still go grocery shopping today? I don’t mind going by myself if you’re not feeling well.”

You shrugged. You hated flaking out of plans, besides when you survived practice with a mild fever before, grocery shopping isn’t something you were afraid of doing while a little hot. You were sure that you were okay.

“We can do it tomorrow. You really look like you’re going to faint,” he explained before rising up from his seat from the dining table to help you walk to the other end of the table from where he sat. “It’s totally okay, Y/N.”

“Oppa, I’m okay.”

“Jay can do the grocery for us!” he announced. 

“The producers will kill us,” you forced out a laugh. “I’m okay, Heeseung. I’ll just take an Aspirin and I’ll be fine for the rest of the day.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, opening the fridge to take the microwavable bibimbap he got this morning. “Do you want this, or cereal?”

“You got us breakfast?” You looked surprised that he did. You always woke up with food on the table because Sakura hated not seeing you and Kazuha have breakfast. So she always made you two foods before you could even wake up. 

“I wanted to make something better than anything that goes in the microwave but this would do,” he replied, shyly scratching the back of his head as he avoided your gaze.

He woke up earlier than he usually would that morning to take a walk outside of the apartment building to check for food stalls or convenience stores he can get you breakfast from. He contemplated if he was going to get bibimbap or something that he thought was more your thing as an American. So he ended up buying a ready-made bibimbap that he could easily microwave at home and a box of cereal and milk. He really was hoping for a more thought of breakfast for the both of them since it was their first time eating breakfast together but upon thinking of it last night, which honestly was the first time he was up that late that wasn’t because of practice or League, he realized that he’s not confident about cooking anything besides spam and ramyeon. 

And the thing was Heeseung wanted to impress you. Everyone knew you were a lazy eater, and he wanted to make sure that with him, despite all that, you were being fed very well. So, giving you options was the most doable effort he has for now. He took a mental note on his way home that he will make sure to message Jay or one of your members later this dinner to teach him how to cook anything you might want to eat tonight.

“That bibimbap looks nice actually,” you replied. Heeseung nodded before placing the food container in the microwave to heat it up for you.

“Are you really sure you can film today?”

“I have a mild fever, oppa,” you laughed at him. “I’m not going to die.”

“I don’t want to be accused of neglecting my wife, excuse me!” he playfully argued. “If you really want to go, the production team will be here in about 2 hours, so we better start getting ready after this. Take your time though, two hours is still a long time.”

You were fortunate enough to be with people who always took care of you. That being said, you never had to look for anywhere to fulfill the desire to be loved, because you were loved in every home you went to. Dating never interested you before, to be frank. Besides the fact that your manager would more or less kill you if you ended up in a dating scandal, you were too busy to meet anyone. You didn't know many people outside of Le Sserafim. You barely had any friends predebut because you were homeschooled and your ballet class friends weren't exactly friendly with you after they found out that you were training to be a kpop idol and were not too focused on the same goal as them. 

It made your heart race that someone who barely knew you managed to show you kindness. The things that years of struggling to make genuine connections taught you somehow vanished into thin air as Heeseung gently places the back of his hand against your forehead to check if you were still hot before nodding when he felt that you didn’t feel very warm anymore.

“Just tell me if you don’t feel well along the way… yeah?” His bending down to be at eye-level with you was the cherry on top of it all.

Who is this man and why does he know how to make your knees feel weak?

“Okay,” you replied shortly, smiling at him, your eyes crinkling on the sides which was a feature Heeseung was sure he’s never seen before and he’s only noticed now that his face is so close to yours. 

You were… beautiful.

He knew that all along, long before you were this close to him. But it was like seeing what beautiful is in 4K—like all of a sudden being this close to you gave him a whole new definition of beautiful, because even the texture of your face makes him wonder how long it took for God to craft you… it must’ve taken them a lot of time.

And you would’ve fully fallen for it, if you just kept your eyes on him—if the corner of your eye didn’t catch the cameraman hauling this huge filming equipment to capture the moment because now you have this pit in your stomach as if your heart has sunken into it. 

It’s for the show. You have to remind yourself as Heeseung offers his hand for you to hold as you make your way out of the apartment that you shared. 

-

“My grandma used to always bring me with her to the market,” you smiled at him. “I went home to them on the weekends. It sort of just became a normal thing for us to go to the market really early every Saturday morning.”

“Are you closer to your grandparents or your actual parents?”

“Well, my grandparents took care of me from the moment I landed here. So maybe now, I’m closer to them. I still have a very good relationship with my parents and my little brother. With my little brother, it’s a little better now than before, because we always used to fight but whenever I can take breaks and I could go home to New York, we bond a little better now,” You explained to him as you browsed through the meat section of the supermarket. “I suppose you and your brother are close too? I saw that clip from I-Land.”

“We are close,” he chuckled. “Every now and then we meet up to play basketball when we’re both free since he is in University.”

“I wish me and my brother still lived in the same country,” you laughed. “While I do treat Beomgyu like my brother, that idiot would pick fights with me and our entire day out would’ve been just us bantering about random things that don’t matter.”

The two of you kept on going around the supermarket trying to find novel things to make your apartment a little more interesting. So, by the end of it all, you had funky shaped coffee cups, mismatched plates and a couple other cutlery that you both picked for each other.

It really did seem that you and Heeseung were building a home for each other as you talked about each other’s upbringing over what color of plate the other should get. And while he thought he’d never be the type to enjoy those kinds of things, he figured that maybe hearing about the tiniest and the most mundane things about someone could be interesting if it was you that’s talking. He found out that you and Yunjin were family friends long before you were kpop trainees and actually flew to Korea together and how devastated you were when Yunjin went home to New York after PD48 and how somehow, you became HYBE’s way of convincing Yunjin to come back and join the girl group even though it did not take her a lot to say yes. And even in the things he would usually not enjoy getting done, like picking out meat for the upcoming days as he would rather just order take out—he seemed to enjoy it now that he’s with you.

And you didn’t feel any different. You don't have to feel anxious whenever you have to talk to a vendor as Heeseung would beat you to it every time. Oh and you had to pretend you didn’t notice how hard he blushed when an old lady told you that your boyfriend was a dream to have and how you playfully corrected that he is your husband. You enjoyed seeing Heeseung flustered.

-

“Today was a lot, right?” Heeseung laughed, throwing himself on the sofa, already showered and dressed in his pajamas. Which consisted of his grey sweatpants and a Hybe shirt that you were sure everyone from the company had. 

“I hope I didn’t talk your ears out,” you replied at him, raising your head from your phone to look at him. 

“I like listening to you talk,” he smiled.

And you couldn’t help it. Before you could even cover your face, you were already blushing and Heeseung is basking in his glory once again that he’s finally got his revenge from you flustering him a while ago in front of the production staff and the old lady.

“It is actually refreshing to hear someone else that isn’t one of my members,” he laughed. “Don’t get me wrong. I love those idiots, but I am enjoying hearing you talk. It’s like I have this personal podcast playing live all the time.”

Before you knew it, you were asleep on Heeseung’s shoulder. You were out all day after all running errands like a married couple should, it must’ve tired you. But in Heeseung’s opinion, you did not look tired at all. 

Heeseung couldn’t help but feel his heart race as he watched your sleeping figure. It was too early to fall in love with you, but it did feel like that. You were so easy to love and he was all in for it like he has been doing it for a long time already. The way you would innocently explain things to him around the marketplace that he would ask you about somehow made him feel at ease that you weren’t going to judge him for not being as knowledgeable in life as you were. It was as if you were okay with helping him learn the things he should’ve known a long time ago. You were a breath of fresh air and it made him feel like he was free from the bounds of being perfect for the next few weeks while he’s with you. 

He carefully lifted your head from your shoulder before picking you up and bringing you to your room. You are  a heavy sleeper, he takes note in his mind as he pulls the covers over your resting body.

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

“Don’t forget to eat lunch, okay?” Heeseung reminds you as he drops you off of your practice room with your members.

“Hi oppa!” Eunchae happily skips towards you to give you a hug as she smiles at your husband brightly. “How is unnie adjusting at home with you! Is she eating well? I hope you’re not staying up too late playing video games!”

Heeseung could tell that you were so well taken care of by your members. You were their second youngest after all. He was so glad that so far, Eunchae’s inquiries were all being met. He’s managed to make at least a decent breakfast for the both of you this morning with the help of Jay from facetime. Was Jay excited about waking up at 5 in the morning to teach his brother how to cook? No. But did he do it anyway for the sake of giving his darling virtual sister-in-law the breakfast that she deserves? Oh yes. 

“Of course, I am feeding Y/N! Right, jagiya?”

Eunchae screamed in excitement as soon as the nickname slipped out of Heeseung. She was ecstatic, running over to the other girls to tell them what she just heard. The other girls screamed as well. The both of you couldn’t help but laugh at their reactions. 

“Jagiya…” you trailed. “That’s new.”

“I’m sorry, was it too much?” Heeseung peed, immediately going into panic mode, thinking that you weren’t comfortable with it. “It just slipped, I promise!”

“It’s cute,” you answered, chuckling at his panicked state before pressing a soft kiss on his cheek as you let him go. “Go now. Your members must be looking for you. You’d be late.”

You hurriedly closed the door before you ran towards your girls, leaving Heeseung a blushing mess at what you just did. 

“Did you just kiss that poor boy?” Yunjin screamed, grasping your arm as she made you look at her. 

“He is my husband, unnie!” You explained, making it sound as it was a matter of fact that she should have already known. “What did you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, maybe show some decency because there is a kid in the room?!” Yunjin dramatically retorted as she pointed at Eunchae who was still buzzing in exhilaration from witnessing that. 

“Is he treating you alright, at least?” Sakura asked softly as she wrapped her arms around your waist. “Are you eating dinner every night? Eating is always your problem, Y/N. He should be feeding you alright.”

“He is feeding me alright,” you sighed. “I heard him talking to Jay this morning. He asked Jay how to make a proper breakfast. Is that enough evidence that I am eating alright?”

“You're smiling a little differently,” Chaewon teased. “The show got you good, no?”

“What the hell do you mean I’m smiling differently?” you voiced, brows furrowing as you turned to Chaewon, whose face expression you couldn’t quite figure out if it was happy or scared. She was smiling but her eyes told you something else.

“Let’s just say you do end up falling in love with him,” your leader mumbled. “You do know the managers are never going to let you do it, right?”

She said it so calmly and nicely that you almost forgot how harsh that truth was. The worst part was realizing she was right. The few days that you have spent living with Heeseung really had you smiling differently and you’ve only realized now that she pointed it out. You were starting to like him. But for what? You were never going to be with him in real life after the show. You don’t even know if he likes you that way outside of the show.

You looked around for anyone familiar from the production staff of the show to see if anyone was filming it. Relief washed over you as soon as you confirmed that they stuck with their terms and did not film your activities when you are separated.

“Y/N,” Sakura cooed as soon as she realized how Chaewon’s words affected you. “It’s okay! You’re going to be okay! I mean it’s a normal thing to fall for people like Heeseung! He is so kind and generous to you!”

“Right! I would fall in love too if someone made that much of an effort to feed me!” Kazuha added. 

“I don’t want you to see falling in love with Heeseung as a bad thing,” Chaewon sighed, moving closer to you as she reached for your hand. “We’re not even sure how long we’re going to do this for and if we’ll ever have the chance to fall in love with anyone with the schedule that we have!” She squeezed your hand before lifting your chin up to make you look at her. “I’m just saying that it’s going to be hard but I cannot blame you for feeling that way. You’re still a human person, Y/N and falling in love with someone who is kind to you is a human experience. That is okay to have.”

While she did have a point, you did realize how sad and unfortunate it was to be in a situation like that. 

“You still have 2 and a half weeks to enjoy his company,” she reminded. “After that we’ll ask you how you feel about it and then decide our course of action from then on.”

“What's important is, whatever your decision is,” Yunjin smirked. “Whether or not it’s going to get us in trouble, we are going to support you! Even if it meant all of us would have to sign an NDA again to keep your future relationship with Heeseung a secret.”

2 weeks and 2 more days. After this, you can just live your life like you never knew him and maybe then your accumulating feelings for him would fade. 

-

“What do you want for dinner?” Heeseung asked, standing by the door frame of your room, watching you stare at your laptop that you brought with you since your normal gaming set-up was too much of a hassle to transfer just to bring back after a month.

The production team had already left a good half an hour ago after the both of you were briefed about tomorrow’s agenda which was hanging out with his members for half the day and with yours for the remaining half. You felt lethargic after all the practice you had to do for your upcoming promotions as your EP was waiting to be released by the approaching month, around the same time this show will go on air. On top of that, your conversation with Chaewon still clung to you, and you were so desperately trying to get your head out of it by playing Valorant. But your trusty game to replace your worries with anger did not seem to work at all for you tonight. Heeseung standing by your door frame was not helping either.

“I don’t really feel like eating dinner tonight, Hee. I’m fine tonight,” you replied at him politely, glancing back at him to acknowledge his presence. 

Heeseung clicked his tongue before walking over to see your game. He sat on your bed watching you play.

He’s never really entered your room before. You’ve entered his room a lot of times before when you watched him play League and when he taught you how to play his favorite game. Nothing malicious ever happened when you were in there so you weren’t expecting anything here either.

“Chaewon explicitly told me before the show started to never let you sleep without eating dinner,” he stated as soon as you died for the round. “So, I’m sticking with that. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry,” you repeat, a sigh following as you avoided his gaze. “You can just not tell unnie that I didn’t eat dinner tonight.”

“Okay,” Heeseung shrugged before getting up and leaving your room. You let out a sigh of relief when he does, thinking that he finally left you alone.

Or so you thought. As soon as your door was shut once again, Heeseung was dialing Yunjin’s number in hopes that she can suggest anything he can cook up to make you eat dinner. 

“Heeseung! Is everything okay?” Yunjin asked immediately as soon as she answered on the 3rd ring.

“Y/N doesn’t want to eat,” he confesses. “She just sounds upset and I don’t know if it was anything I did or something just upset her before coming here.”

“Oh,” Yunjin sighed from the other line. “Well, I don’t know if I can tell you what might be the reason why she’s like that but ramyeon should do the job of feeding her for the night. We don’t usually let her have it for dinner, but when she’s especially resistant to eating, which usually happens when she’s upset, we just let her have it.”

“So ramyeon is the solution to all of this?” he asked, a chuckle following his inquiry. 

“Yes,” Yunjin laughed from the other line. “She will inhale that shit so fast and the dinner problem is done before you know it.”

“Would it be so bad to tell me what upset her?” he asked once again. “If it’s something I did, I want to know. I don’t want to keep on doing something that upsets her, Yunjin.”

“I'm afraid it’s something all of us have little to no control of, Heeseung.” Yunjin dejectedly replies. “If there was anything I could do about it, I would’ve done it myself. But it’s out of our hands. But it isn't anything in particular that you did, don’t worry about that anymore.”

As soon as the call was dropped, Heeseung got to work making your dinner. 

On the other hand, Yunjin turns to Chaewon and Eunchae who’s looking at her in shock that Heeseung called her. 

“What did he say?” Eunchae inquiries immediately. 

“I really think the conversation about her and Hee not being able to be together even if they do end up falling for each other got to her,” Yunjin starts. “She doesn’t want to eat dinner. Heeseung called to ask if there’s anything he could do to somehow just not make her skip dinner.”

“And you didn’t tell him that he’s partly the reason why she’s upset?” Chaewon added.

“Of course I didn’t!” Yunjin sighed exasperatedly. “I don’t want to upset them both. They seem into each other and it’s just sad that it’s supposed to end. I wouldn’t have wanted it to end if that was me.”

Eunchae gave her a weird look, “Not because I like Heeseung. I’m just saying if that was me and someone else and I’m getting treated like a proper girl in love, I wouldn’t have wanted it to end. I don’t even know if I’ll ever get to experience anything remotely close to that ever again!” Yunjin explained right away. 

“I just feel bad for Y/N,” Yunjin continues. “You know she’s all that uninterested in the idea of dating and all before but you know she’s a hopeless romantic.”

–

“I made you something,” Heeseung knocked on the door once again, holding up a bowl as he stood by the slightly open door. 

“Heeseung—”

“Before you complain it’s ramyeon and Yunjin is going to lecture you tomorrow for not eating dinner if you don’t eat this because I asked her if there’s anything you would eat so she knows that you’re being hard right now,” Heeseung cuts you off before barging inside of your room and placing the bowl in front of you. 

If Heeseung wasn’t fast enough, he wouldn’t have noticed that you weren’t playing anymore and was instead doing something with your digital audio workstation software open in your laptop but you managed to change the window before he could check the song title. 

“Eat up,” Heeseung demands, as he picks up the chopsticks and puts them in your hands. “Can you do it or do I have to chew it for you.”

“You are a disgusting rat, Heeseung,” you rolled your eyes at him before letting out a chuckle. “Where’s yours?”

“They’re outside, I’ll eat when you’re done.”

“Get a chair and eat here,” you ordered. “It’s sad to eat alone.”

Without any objections, Heeseung does what you asked him to do. Which in reality made your heart skip at how willing he was to make sure you weren’t feeling lonely. He had to take in consideration that you never ate alone when you were with your girls. And whenever you did go in your solo activities alone, either one of the girls ate with you through facetime or your manager ate with you.

“You didn’t have to do this, Hee,” you mumbled at him as you devoured your bowl. Heeseung couldn’t help but smile fondly at you. Yunjin was right, you were going to inhale it.

“I wanted to do it,” he replied shortly.

You hummed in response, looking at your laptop screen where you watched your favorite show while you ate. You were half watching and half lost in thought on whether or not you should tell him or if it was too much information. There was a reason why your members rarely ever let you eat alone and it was a reason only a specific group of people knew.

“You wanna know why they always make sure someone is always with me whenever I eat?” 

Heeseung raised his eyebrows, looking at you with intent before he asked, “why?”

“The people in my school used to bully the fuck out of me during lunch,” you recalled. “I was in second grade when these kids started to make fun of me for bringing Korean food for lunch. I used to hate lunch breaks because it would mean that my favorite food in the world would get picked on for another day yet. Until people just started avoiding me at lunch tables and they would sometimes shoo me away from their table. It was too much for me back then so I just stopped eating lunch to avoid it. I would throw my food in the trash before getting on the bus because my mom would kill me if she found out that I wasn’t eating the food she prepared.”

“And the principal caught me throwing my food away one time and told my mom, and of course she was furious but then she heard why I didn’t eat lunch. Even if she switched up the food she gave me it still would’ve been unappetizing to eat and the kids still would bully me for ‘wanting to fit in’. I mean to be fair, maybe I really wasn’t the prettiest girl when I was a kid, and it probably was the reason they didn’t stop the bullying even after my food was switched. But you know… kids will be kids… I just wished someone would stop them and tell them it was wrong, you know? Because one thing led to another and the next thing I knew I switched to homeschooling and food was just a bad memory to me because I blamed it so much for not having any friends.”

“I hung around with Minji a lot when I was scouted,” you continued. “But she got transferred to Ador and I was alone once again. Then, Beomgyu found me eating alone in the practice hallway and the little shit just sat with me and ate his sandwich next to me, outyapping me because I got really shy when an idol approached me out of pity.”

“You didn’t bring it up to him at all?” He asked curiously. 

You shrugged, “Boy, I was already struggling to debut. My friends were one by one getting chosen to be in survival shows and getting placed in debut lineups. I was starting to delude myself if I really lived up to my secret weapon trainee title because they really showed no interest in putting me in a debut lineup any time soon and only wanted me to help produce songs for the meantime. I did not want them to think that I am barely improving and I still had the audacity to demand having an eating buddy?”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he sighed, obviously brought down by the sudden lore being spilled.

“It’s no problem anymore,” you told him. “Beomgyu actually managed to toughen me up and lectured me for hours on end whenever he found out that I didn’t eat which was honestly absurd because we’re not even related and he keeps saying he’s doing it out of pity. But that idiot did manage to tell my manager and my members about the eating situation when I debuted and they kept their word. I’m surprised he wasn’t the person you called a while ago.”

“I have no prior knowledge that Beomgyu had that kind of power over you,” he laughed.

“He doesn’t,” you snorted. “He just never gets tired of saying the same thing over and over and I don’t always have the braincells to listen to him. So it’s ramyeon first, if it doesn’t work, call Beomgyu.”

“You and Gyu are really close, no?”

“He’s like my older brother that I never had,” you tell him. “We like to joke that he only acts like such because it makes him feel responsible without doing much. We’re also really close in personality so the friendship works.”

“I’ll know when to call him then,” he smirked playfully. 

“I’ll know when to decline his call then,” you retort.

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

“Are you hot?” Heeseung asked as he reached for the mini fan that the staff was handing him as you and his members walked through the busy street trying to look for the restaurant that Jungwon found online. 

“Not really—”

“Noona, we found it!” Ni-ki happily jumped as he ran back towards you and Heeseung, taking your hand quickly to bring you to the restaurant that was just a few stores away from where you and the rest of the older members were walking. Ni-ki reminded you so much of Eunchae. He started all shy and serious but did end up opening up to you and talking a lot once he got the hang of you. 

“Your youngest really just stole your wife like that,” Jake teased as they watched Ni-ki open the door for you and get inside of the restaurant. “He looks like a kid excited to have his mom around.”

“She looks like she’s enjoying his company anyway,” Heeseung chuckled fondly, watching you and Ni-ki laugh at something as they entered the restaurant themselves. “Just let him be,”  he tells them. He watches as you throw your head back like a kid while you laugh over something he’s yet to ask the context of, but he might just watch you laugh like this instead. You were adorable interacting with his youngest member like that.

“Have you ordered already?” Heeseung asked you. 

“Oh, Jungwon handled all of the orders. I just told him to surprise me,” you replied, turning over to him as he reached for your hand. The weather outside was still very cold and it was a wonder how your hands stayed warm with that cold wind outside as if you had a personal heater inside of your body. 

“Your usual food isn't on the menu though,” Heeseung replied, brows furrowing as his eyes trail back to Jungwon and Sunoo who were still finishing up the orders with the menu in their hands. “What if you don’t like it?”

“Then I’ll make you finish the rest of it,” you playfully squeezed his hand, making him shrug.

“And if I don’t like it?”

“We’ll pack it to-go and I’ll force myself to eat it at home,” you chuckled. “I wanted to see what your members would feed me, Heeseung. Chill. It’s not like I cannot go out of my usual food selection!”

–

“He's the laziest cook in the dorms,” Jay chuckled as he sat back with you while you two watched the other members play foot volleyball. “I was about to crash out on him when he called me that early but then he asked me how to make fucking curry at 4AM in the morning.”

“And you want to tell me what?”

“That I'm pretty sure Heeseung likes you—in love maybe,” he replied quietly, hoping that the mics won't be able to catch it as the smaller production team that went with you today only had one boom mic with them and it was being used towards the guys who were playing. “I heard he's been calling your members too to ask them how to make your favorite meals.”

“Jay, are you hearing yourself?” you ask, holding back a laugh as Heeseung tries to catch a falling Ni-ki before he lands on his butt after the younger attempted to kick a ball too early.

“Heeseung is a lovesick fool,” he laughed. “And you are a little dense to not notice that.”

You thought about it well. You'd be lying to say that you didn't notice that he was really kind to you and no friend would've gone the lengths of bringing you food in the practice room if you were too busy to grab food for yourself. Regardless of whether or not cameras were seeing what his efforts were, he did it anyway. But you've never been involved with anyone romantically—what do you know?

“Noona, join us!” Jungwon happily calls as he jumps. “Jay-hyung! Get up!”

You couldn't help but adore the cat-like leader. Jay helped you get up from your seat on the mat they laid down for you on the grass. 

“Noona! Is in our team!” Jungwon declares that he and Ni-ki stood in front of you when Heeseung tried to take you.

“That is my wife!” Heeseung argued, trying to go around them to take you but the two were persistent. 

“And we are around the same age, so she's ours!” Sunoo joined in, creating another wall on your side to close you away from Heeseung. “You guys are old!” 

“You're not even 7 months older than Sunghoon!” Heeseung retorts. “Y/N! You're supposed to be on my side!”

“The kids want me on their team,” you laughed, reaching for Ni-ki's shoulder, which definitely was higher than you anticipated.

“The kids will always get their mom,” Jay shrugged jokingly, pulling Heeseung away so the round could start. “Even the court would agree.”

–

“Please give my gifts to the other boys, okay?” You told Jay as you got into the van, preparing to go to your afternoon schedule with your members this time. 

“I'll make sure they thank you for it, Y/N,” he chuckled. “Don't worry about it.”

“They seem to love you very much,” Heeseung told you as soon as the van started moving. 

You nodded. You noticed how they would make an effort to include you, even toning down their energy just to make sure they weren't tiring you out too much considering you still have things in your agenda after your time with them. Especially their younger members, they seemed pretty close to her despite only hanging out today. 

Although you couldn't quite forget what Riki told you when you got to the park earlier, “I'm going to miss having you around when you and Hyung finish filming this show,” he told you.

You started to wonder how complicated it would be to maintain a good relationship with Enhypen after this show ends. You truly wanted to be friends with them after this. They were really a very friendly bunch after all. But if Jay is telling the truth, wouldn't that make it complicated? To remain friends with all of them but one because he had feelings for you before and the feeling is possibly mutual?

“Especially Ni-ki,” he chuckled. “That kid did not want to let go of you!”

“He's like Eunchae,” you chuckled at him. “Really shy at first, you would only get giggles from that poor girl. Then when she gets to know you she turns into yapperton 3000.”

“It's hard to comprehend that you're the second youngest in your group,” he shrugged.

“Still 3 years older than Eunchae though,” you smiled at him. “She is like everyone's little sister, then me and Zuha are twins. Yunjin is our big sister. Chaewon is our mom and Kkura is our fun gay aunt.”

“Do you think they'll like me?”

You were taken aback. Since when did Heeseung worry about being liked by anyone? Everyone likes Heeseung from the get go. The moment they lay eyes on him, he's already got this good aura around him and then he opens his mouth to sing and it's over for everyone. He has the qualities of a person that is likeable.

“You've met plenty of women in your life, Hee,” you laughed. “Especially being a male idol. You have a huge audience and the majority of them are women. I'm pretty sure you know that you are one of the very likeable men out there.”

“I appreciate that you think I'm likeable, but I can't just flirt with your sisters to make them like me!” He argued playfully. “Jagiya, do you think I annoy them?”

“For what?”

“For calling them all the time to teach me how to cook your dinner,” he explained. “Oh my god! What if noona thinks I'm annoying?”

“I'm pretty sure that's cute to them,” you chuckled, patting his knee to calm him down. “They like you, Hee. There's nothing to sweat about.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

–

“Hello, my baby!” Chaewon happily goes over to you to hug you before stepping aside to let Kahuza and Eunchae literally pounce into you to give you a hug, Yunjin follows suit before greeting Heeseung. Sakura does not give you anything less than that before fist bumping Heeseung. By this time, you’ve already gone back to your apartment to freshen up and get ready for your next agenda.

“We already ordered, by the way,” Yunjin declares. “Oh, Heeseung, I asked Y/N, your order. I hope she got it right?”

“I'll eat anything,” he replies shyly.

“Please order anything you like if I got your order wrong. I asked all your members a while ago about your food preferences because you never told me anything and you always just ate exactly the same thing I usually eat.”

Yunjin watched the conversation intently. Heeseung always looked at you with eyes no one could dim and good Lord. If that isn't love, then she does not know what is. 

“You ate an unfamiliar order a while ago,” he reminds you. “I'll do the same to return the favor.”

“Stop being cute, I might throw up,” Sakura joked across from you. “Is she being hard to live with, Heeseung?” 

“Aside from the fact that she takes her sweet time getting ready and does not like getting up early,” Heeseung started. “I think she's okay to live with.”

“Do you like unnie?” Eunchae blurts out, chin resting on her hands as she smiles at Heeseung innocently.

“Eunchae!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice, Eunchae seemed to know that already that’s why she bursted out laughing at everybody’s reaction because there was a lasting shocked face in Sakura’s face while Kazuha was laughing along with her, implying that she was in on the joke. Chaewon who was sitting next to Eunchae managed to playfully slap the younger’s arm in shock. And Yunjin… the ever so theatrical member, managed to choke on her water, when she heard Eunchae’s question.

“I don’t have a good enough reason not to like someone like Y/N,” Heeseung replied confidently. His chin even lifted a bit as he maintained eye contact with Eunchae as if convincing her to believe him. 

The next thing you knew your heart was skipping beats as you watched him and Eunchae banter. You didn’t want to believe it because ultimately, the cameras are on and the mic can hear everything he’s saying right now… but he’s sounding a little too convincing and you don’t know how to feel about it. 

“You didn’t have to go through all that banter with Manchae,” you whispered to him as soon as you felt him reach for your hand from under the table. “You don’t have to convince them.”

“I wanted to,” he replied coolly, fiddling with the rings on your fingers. “I want to convince them.”

“What for?” You asked as you watched him slide off the silver band from your middle finger to your ring finger. Your eyes followed the tiny little diamond encrusted on the top of your grandmother’s silver wedding band that she’s given you as a gift for your birthday a few months back. 

To say that your heart was exploding was an understatement. You felt everything and anything all at once. You had to hold your breath and blink a couple of times to hold back your tears as he aligned it properly before he glanced at you. 

“Because a husband must always prove that he is in love with his wife,” he replies before poking your cheek.

—

Somehow the conversation with Heeseung during that dinner never left you. You never got confirmation if he meant what he said or if he only did that because he knew the cameras were watching. In all honesty, you just want to believe it because it would hurt so much to hear that it isn’t real.

You liked Heeseung.

You were tired of denying it and sitting in front of your desk trying to get your little passion project song done has never felt more real as you try to justify that it's a normal thing to fall in love with people like Heeseung. It's his day job to make girls fall in love with him and you were a willing victim to his charm. Weirdly enough, you wouldn't have it in any other way.

You only have seven more days with Heeseung before you go back home and only go to the studio to film the confessionals. You're not even sure if you'll see him there but you want to. You don't want this to end. 

You still want someone to reach for when the movie gets too sad. You still want someone to hold your hand when you're tired. You still want someone to care for you whenever you don't feel like eating or when you're sick—but the thing is, you've had all of these before Heeseung. 

Heeseung has done a great job making it comfortable for both of you and you especially by providing everything that you're used to when you're in your dorms. He mimicked everything he could just to make sure that you were comfortable with him. But now that the end is near, you suppose you were too comfortable.

So now you're texting Yunjin, while holding back tears as you send her the demo version of your song after a long dreadful writer's block.

—

“Are you ready to meet them?” You asked Heeseung as he entered the car after you.

“Can you guys stop being cute, it’s gross,” Beomgyu rolled his eyes before crawling inside the car and squeezing himself between the both of you. “You have to ask the hand of her older brother first, Heeseung. Have you got no manners?”

“You are so annoying,” Heeseung rolled his eyes at him, holding back a laugh at how unserious his best friend was. 

“You married my other best friend, imagine how that feels for me!” Beomgyu argued. “And if you’re going to argue about how this shouldn’t be that big of a deal for me, I’m here to tell you that it is. Because it’s gross to see the both of you together and we’ve been friends for long enough to guarantee my invitation to her wedding and I was not even informed that it’s going to be with you!”

“Calm down, oh my god!” You slapped his shoulder to hold him back from nagging Heeseung any more. 

Your actions might not seem like it but you were grateful the production staff agreed that it was a great idea to bring Beomgyu along since, essentially, this whole man-child has treated you like family and your family did the same to him. And if they really wanted to sell the ‘meeting the family’ fantasy that they’ve been conceptualizing as your marriage soon reaches its conclusion, they must go all the way. Alas, Beomgyu is here. Lodged in between you and Heeseung because apparently, it’s gross to see your two best friends get married for a tv show. 

“You are an entire challenge to get through,” Heeseung murmured as he poked on Beomgyu’s side to annoy him even more. 

“Imagine the interrogation I can put you through if you keep acting up, Heeseung!” Beomgyu threatened him, eyes widening as he jokingly peered over Heeseung. “I am the favorite friend and there’s no topping that. I can put you through hours of interrogation with just one bad mouth.”

“I swear to everything good, if the both of you don’t shut up the entire ride I’m throwing you off this car.”

The both of them seemed to get the message when they looked back at you before quietly tugging on the seat belt to fit them before the car started. The car ride was relatively quiet, aside from the occasional banter that you had no problems whatsoever breaking up immediately before it got too serious, it was peaceful. Even the driver insisted on putting on some music just so it wouldn’t be too quiet whenever the two had to shut up for the sake of your sanity.

-

You can't help but put out a huge sigh  when you reach your grandparents home. You had explained to your grandmother last night the arrangements with Heeseung and that it was only for the tv show and you wouldn't have married someone you don't know beforehand. Contrary to what you formerly believed, your grandmother had a good laugh last night about the concept of the show and found it funny to keep it a secret from your grandfather for the meantime and surprise him about your marriage when you arrive.

“Y/N!” Your grandfather happily waddles to your car as soon as you step out of the vehicle, your grandmother slowly following him. The old man happily pulls you into a hug doing a little dance as he turns you around before he notices Beomgyu and does the same with him. “Beomgyu!”

“Who is this fine gentleman, Y/N!” Your grandmother smirked as soon as he noticed Heeseung smiling at the both of them shyly. It was so weird seeing him look so shy. He looked like he was screaming for help and he had to wipe his palms that began sweaty profusely the moment he heard your grandfather's voice. 

“Good morning, Sir Y/G/N and Ma’am Y/GM/N, I am Lee Heeseung from Enhypen. I come from the same company as your granddaughter and we're filming a show today which…” Oh dear heavens. Heeseung had it all practiced before he even got in the car. He practiced it in the mirror this morning, even practiced his speech with you before leaving the apartment but now he couldn't remember anything. Not a single thing on how he can properly break it to your grandfather that you got married for a variety show.

“Grandpa, Heeseung is my husband—”

“Excuse me?” Your grandfather looked like he was about to have a heart attack with the sudden news. “Does your mother know? Did any of your parents know? How could your company let you do this? Y/N! You're only 21!”

Your grandmother was taking it all in her to hold back from bursting out in laughter, holding on to Beomgyu as he does the same. Heeseung on the other hand, didn't look any better than your grandfather. He looked like he was going to pass out in fear with how your grandfather is reacting to all of this right now.

“Eomma knew it,” you joked. “Jen told her.”

“Yunjin told your mother? You couldn't even tell your mother yourself?”

“It's for the tv show only, grandpa,” Beomgyu bursted out in laughter as soon as your grandma signalled him to tell him already. She knew you were going to play it for as long as you could because the mischievous child that you are. 

“It's not real? You did not sign anything?”

“Just the contract for the show and an NDA that I'm not going to talk about until it's aired,” you laughed at him as the old dog let out a sigh of relief. 

“Why do you always do this to me?” he huffed as you looked back at your grandma, who planned it all. “Of course it was your idea!” 

“Well, Mr. Heeseung,” he smiled at the younger. “I am glad that you wanted to meet us even if this marriage is not for real.”

“I am actually from Uiwang-si too,” Heeseung replies politely before he finally comes out of the car to bow down to your grandparents. “I am very honored to get to meet you, sir.”

You all gasped in surprise when Heeseung, in his light brown pants, went down on the grass to kneel and bow to your grandparents. “Thank you for bringing Y/N mother into this world, without her the world would’ve never seen how talented of a person she is.”

“Please get up there, son,” your grandfather laughed, helping him get up and dust the specks of dirt on his clothes. “Come inside.”

You laughed as you approached Heeseung, Beomgyu managing to distract your grandparents with his excitement for your grandmother’s food. 

“Your hands are very sweaty,” you laughed at him, as you grabbed his hand to walk him in your grandparents’ home. “Were you that nervous?”

“I think I lost my heartbeat for a good 30 seconds when you broke it out like that,” he whined. “Good graces, I thought he was going to kill me!”

“He’s a cool grandpa,” you laughed. “Even if we did get married for real, he still would’ve accepted you. He has no room for resentment.”

“Heeseung, come here! We have Y/N middle school pictures, come look!” Beomgyu laughed from the door, holding up an old photo album that you recognize to be yours and your little brother’s that your grandmother made from the pictures that your mom sent them when you were back in New York. 

“Those are horrendous, put it back, idiot!” You yelled at him, dragging Heeseung inside before you ran towards Beomgyu to take the photobook away. “You are an insufferable little bitch, Beomgyu, oh my God, put it back!”

Heeseung took a look at the place while you and Beomgyu quarrel over the photobook. 

“Come here, Heeseung,” your grandfather called him over the piano on the corner of the living room. It was no secret that your family did have a wealthy background. After all, after a little more research under his belt, your family did own a successful business in the engineering field both in the country and in the US. It was sort of surprising to find that out, considering your modest way of living in the apartment with him. “Loosen up, kid. I’m not going to bite you.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled nervously still. “It’s the first time I’m meeting someone’s family.”

“You’ve met your members’ families, I’m sure,” your grandfather quips. “What’s the difference now? Y/N is your colleague just as much as they are.”

Heeseung thought of it well and hard even though it came out hard with you and Beomgyu still running around the house fighting over the photobook. His eye caught a picture of you dancing in a ballet tutu with a tambourine in one hand.

“That’s La Esmeralda,” your grandfather tells him when he notices the younger one staring at it. “She’s been dancing that variation since before she could wear pointe shoes. On her first birthday, her grandma put those ballet slippers in front of her at the last minute because Y/N’s mother used to dance ballet too. It used to be her whole life. She did nothing but dance but then decided that she was done and went straight into managing the family business. Y/N eyed those slippers before she was allowed to even pick and the moment she’s allowed, she grabbed onto it so fast and refused to give back that singular slipper.”

“She’s never looked back since. She would sleep in those ballet slippers as a baby. She was obsessed with it. Then one day this recruitment woman came to her after her dance recital and then it clicked something in her the same way engineering switched inside of her mother. In a blink of an eye, our Y/N didn’t want to be a ballerina anymore. She wanted to sing and you would think that four fruitless years of training would bring her back—but that kid never knows when to give up. The moment she decides something—call it a done deal, she will find a way to have that no matter what. When she loves, she loves it wholly and with everything that she has, even if it takes a lot of time to get there.”

Heeseung couldn’t admire the determination that you had as she looked at the years of ballet pictures that you had since you were in diapers. Some were even photos of you dancing with your mother. You really were a woman of your words… which… well… if weeks ago he wasn’t sure if he was in love with you… now he’s sure of it.

“Now, I don’t know your intentions with my granddaughter,” your grandfather continues, reaching for Heeseung’s shoulder as he pats it. “But whatever you do, I hope you don’t break something in her that will lose that determination, especially her ability to give as much love as she can. Because I don’t know who my granddaughter would still be if she loses that.”

Heeseung had no intention of hurting you. If he has to stay away from you just to make sure that it doesn’t reach the point of breaking you in that case, then he will even if it would feel like burning him alive. He’s never met anyone quite like you before—someone so open but so mysterious at the same time. It’s like he knew everything about you because you had no problem sharing it but still, there’s always more to you than what you’d tell.

“Yeobo, Heeseung, food is ready!” Your grandmother calls, making the both of you turn towards the entrance to the kitchen.

You and Beomgyu were busy placing the food and the plates on the table. You were like a kid again, arguing with your brother and then making up the next moment to get ready for food. You looked so relaxed and carefree around here than when you were in Seoul.

Heeseung was convinced he’s never seen you eat this much before. He just knows you’ll complain about how you’ll need to go to the gym first before going home just to burn everything you consumed today or your trainer would be a bitchy bunch when she notices your sudden weight gain. He hated that it’s the way that it is, but after a few arguments about her over worrying about it, he’s finally come into the acceptance that it’s the price they all pay for their dreams and no matter how fucked up that is—while someone has to go and change that ideal—it’s how it is right now.

It’s like watching you be another version of yourself that’s still you. Because everything you are is still the same, but more alive… and if he hasn’t admitted to himself, yet. Holy shit, he is in love and his heart skips eight beats every time you look at him with your pretty eyes that look like you’re convincing him to treat you like a baby every time you do. And for the longest time, he thought love looked like something else… he’s not quite sure what they’re supposed to look like but he definitely did not expect love to look… exactly like you.

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Beomgyu shrugs as he tosses Heeseung the can of beer as they sit on the rooftop of the apartment building that they sent you and Heeseung in.

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Heeseung shrugged.

“Everyone can see it, idiot,” Beomgyu laughed, hitting the back of his head. “Everyone knows you guys actually fell in love but none of you care enough to admit it.”

“Like it’s even possible to admit that,” Heeseung chuckled bitterly, opening the can before chugging down on the alcohol. “Can you imagine the amount of protest trucks they’re going to send in front of the building if they find out? They’re going to block the streets. Worse case scenario they’re going to send Y/N death threats. I don’t think I have the stomach to instigate that.”

“So you care about her?” Beomgyu pressed.

“You care about Y/N and I don’t question you like this!”

“Because when the topic of protest trucks being sent to the building came when she debuted and everyone was planning on the PR to make sure that our image does not get perceived as a threat to the fans, Y/N and I just laughed it out and called bullshit,” Beomgyu explained. “Even the idea of getting death threats did not faze her. We never cared if people called our friendship something else. But you seem to care more than that, so it’s different.”

Heeseung fell silent. What’s the point of hiding it from Beomgyu anyway? He’s known him and you since before you and Y/N even met. If there’s anyone that will sense it, it’s going to be him.

“I’ve signed more NDAs than brand deals, to be honest,” Beomgyu continued. “I don’t mind signing another if it means you guys are going to stop acting like fools about this. Even the Le Sserafim girls are literally okay with it. It’s possible. You just have to want it.”

“Do you know how far fetched it is to say that I actually had the chance to actually fall in love with Y/N?” Heeseung started. “I literally liked her since the day I laid eyes on her to the point that I used to get so jealous that you get to have that relationship with her and I don’t.”

“It sounds stupid, really,” Beomgyu laughed before taking a sip of his beer. 

“It doesn’t even feel real that I said okay to this fucking show without knowing that she’ll be my wife for 30 days! Are you getting this? It’s like the universe just gave me a chance and I don’t even know how to go about it now! I’m not even sure if she feels the same way!”

“Oh trust me, she does.”

“God. It’s like the world is asking me to give up on everything I ever worked so hard for to be able to actually experience being in love!” He cried. “And it fucking knows that I will but I don’t want to hurt her like that.”

“That sounds to me like you’re the only one here that’s afraid of the hate,” Beomgyu shrugged. “Because knowing Y/N, she would walk in front of those protest trucks and would possibly take a selfie with it if she’s feeling like it. She knows her worth so much that she’d bring coffee for the protesters because it’s hot outside.”

“That woman has loose screws in her head, she turns absolutely unhinged once she’s put her mind into something,” He continued. “I know it’s weird that a girl with eating schedule problems can be that tough, but she is.”

Heeseung lets out a big sigh as he watches Beomgyu stand in front of him. 

“So now, I should ask you,” he trails off. “Are you willing to love my best friend with everything that you have inside you and nothing less? Because if no, you should really just stop being so damn unnecessarily romantic with her when the cameras are not on. That woman is going to love you wholly and nothing else if she decides that she does, and you have to make it clear if you’re going to meet her halfway or not because you’re not going to like what you’re going to hear from me and Yunjin if you lead her on, Heeseung.”

“Why does that sound like a threat?” Heeseung asked to diffuse the tension but Beomgyu, so serious all of sudden, did not back down.

“Because it is a threat, Hee,” he quips before going back to his seat. “You have 5 more days to tell her how you feel before the show ends. When you’re clear on where the both of you stand, tell us. And we’ll take whatever steps we must take.”

—

“Jagiya?” Heeseung called as he stumbled inside of the apartment. “Jagiya?”

You turn to look at Heeseung’s miserable state, leaning against the wall next to the door, shocked that he even managed to get this wasted after he fully refused to drink with you and Beomgyu when you were in your grandparents’ house.

“I thought you only had beer when you went up?” You asked as you scurried over him, immediately helping the poor boy get back up on his feet and into the dining room chair. “Where’s Beomgyu?”

“Manager… picked him up…” He drawled as he rested his head on his hands while his elbows were on the table, smiling stupidly at you as he watched you scramble in the kitchen to get him anything that might help his state. 

“What else did you drink?” You asked as you slid a glass of water in front of him, urging him to drink.

“Beomgyu… that sneaky little bitch… brought… um… that green—”

“Soju?”

“Yes! You’re so smart!” He laughed, clapping his hands happily. You couldn’t help but laugh at his stupid state. How can he even drink this much without thinking of the consequences after?

“Well, finish this already,” you told him, picking up the glass of water to help him drink. 

And just after he’s steady enough to stand up with your help, he bolts to the bathroom and hurls. 

“I’m pretty sure, you’re not going to be drinking a lot more often after this, no?” you asked him as you helped him sit up against the tile wall after he was done. “Come on, let’s clean you up.”

You got up and found a wash cloth that you drenched in warm water from the tap before ringing it. You managed to clean most of his limbs up, but there was some vomit on his shirt that you had to clean up before you let him sleep because that would be awfully disgusting. 

“Can you clean yourself?” you asked, trying to see if he was functional enough to at least change his clothes. 

“I actually like having my wife take care of me like this,” he giggled giddily. “So nice and so caring.”

You shrugged at his drunken state before getting up. 

“Noooo…” He whined, grabbing onto your ankle to keep you from going. “Don’t leave me!”

“I’m just going to get you a new shirt, Heeseung,” you laughed at him, bending down to take his hand off your ankle. “Wait here.”

You went up to his room to retrieve a shirt when you found his phone ringing. A number you recognized to be your grandfather’s. You didn’t want to invade his privacy so instead you took it and allowed it to ring until you were back in the bathroom where Heeseung sat with his long legs straight in front of him, lazily leaning against the tile wall.

“Who is it?”

“Grandpa,” you replied nervously. “Why is he calling you at this time of the day? Shouldn’t he be asleep?”

“I don’t know!” he claims before you answer the phone and put it on a loudspeaker. 

“Heeseung, son?”

“Yes, Grandpa?” he answered politely, trying his best to sound normal. 

“I just realized that I forgot to tell you that I think you are good for Y/N,” your grandpa exhaled. “And wherever your relationship goes after your tv show, I hope you guys stay good friends. You are good for Y/N. And I can also tell that you like her because no one gets that nervous when meeting your friend’s grandparents. I hope you stop denying that.”

“Umm…” Heeseung trailed off, not knowing what to say. He looked up at you to ask for help but you seemed to be in a panic too. 

“Just say thank you!” you mouthed at him in a panic, not wanting to reveal that you have been hearing the conversation all along.

“Thank you, grandpa,” he says, following exactly what you told him to. 

“Well, it’s getting late. I should rest. Please tell Y/N I said good night and good night to you too, Heeseung. Please take care of my granddaughter.”

“Good night, grandpa,” he said before the call was dropped. “Oh my god, I think that just sobered me up!”  he laughed slightly before wincing, making him lean back down on the tile wall to support his head.

“No, it didn’t,” you shrugged at him before kneeling next to him. “Can you take your shirt off, so you can change?”

He carefully tugs on his shirt to pull it off before handing it to you. In exchange, you gave him the fresh shirt that you got from his room. It was surprising that he didn’t fuss about it so you decided to take advantage of his compliant state and went over to the kitchen to grab a chair and put it next to his sink. You weren’t sure if he had anything on his agenda tomorrow, but are you really going to let him out tomorrow looking like a dehydrated piece of vegetable after all he drank with your best friend? Maybe you cared enough about Heeseung to not let him do that to himself.

“What’s that for?”

“Get up, I’m not letting you skip your skincare,” you replied in a duh tone while you helped him get up from the floor to his seat on the chair. “Sit properly.”

“You are crazy,” he laughed, as he patiently does what you tell him. 

“You like me though,” you replied condescendingly.

He chuckled before responding, “I actually do.”

“Tell me that again when you’re sober, alright?” you tell him before squirting some of his cleanser on your hands and lathering it on his face. 

“Come here,” he chuckled smugly as he gently placed both his hands on either of your sides to pull you closer to him, making you sit on his lap. “You heard it from your grandpa, jagiya.”

“But you’re only admitting it now that you’re off your face,” you replied to him patiently, as you kept on rubbing the cleanser over his face. “If you really mean it, you won’t have a problem saying it again when you’re not intoxicated.”

You continued doing his skincare sitting on his lap in silence.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m only doing this because I’m drunk because I am willing to tell you the same thing over and over again tomorrow when I’m not in this state.” He tells you. “Saying that I like you is an understatement because doing this show with you really just intensified what I already had for you years ago. I can’t explain to anyone enough how I almost passed out when I found out that it was going to be you to do this show with me.”

“You can ask Jay and everyone else. Because they knew—well, they sensed it because I couldn’t get myself to admit it for the longest time. But right now? I don’t think that I can let you go anymore now that I’ve got to experience all these with you.” Heeseung added. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he sighed, bringing a hand over to your face to wipe the tears that you didn’t know had already escaped your eye. “I’m so in love with you and it sucks that they put people in situations like this to fall in love and separate them after—but I’m going to work hard to turn this to our favor once it’s over, okay?”

“Please keep your word, Hee,” you mumbled quietly. “I need you to keep your word because I don’t mind doing the same.”

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

You were up bright and early the next morning to get Heeseung a hangover drink and some soup because it wouldn’t be logical to buy any more stocks when you’ll be moving out less than 5 days from now. The camera crew will be there in a few hours so you really had to wake Heeseung up as soon as you get home or he’ll run late for filming if he doesn’t

“You didn’t have to do this, Y/N.” He mumbled as soon as he was down on the table enjoying his soup.

You don’t know why it did, but it stung to hear him call you by your name after confessing last night and getting you used to being called jagiya. You shouldn’t have let yourself fall for it, he was off his face after all. Why did you even consider believing it in the first place?

“I had to,” you mumbled quietly. “You looked helpless last night. It’s actually surprising you still woke up this early.”

“Y/N?”

“What?” You lamented. Hearing it the first time was stung, for the second time? You wanted to cry in humiliation for assuming that he meant what he said. God it felt like the same way Minji broke it to you that she was moving to Ador after promising you that she’ll always stick around—and you couldn’t blame her. You couldn’t blame anyone because at the end of the day you both had dreams and you can’t demand anyone to stay for your comfort. Not in that competitive environment. 

“Why are you so quiet?” he asked. “I’m sorry for the bother last night.”

“I wish you weren’t sorry about it though,” you replied honestly. “That makes me feel like everything you said was a mistake.”

“Oh!” He almost spins after you jog his memory. “Jagiya, I meant everything I said!”

“Then why are you calling me by my name all of a sudden? God, if this is a joke to you, Heeseung, I might as well walk away right now, because I can’t let you do that to me,” you rambled. 

“Okay, let’s calm down first,” Heeseung sighs heavily.

“Don’t sigh like that!” you snapped at him, making him break into a soft chuckle.

“I was waiting until you’re done with your coffee before I tell you,” he laughed softly, before walking over to your side of the table. “You’re a little snappy before your coffee. So I was waiting for you to finish that first and then I will tell you how you are the most beautiful person in the world and I am so in love with you, I’ll fight Bang PD-nim even for a slight chance to hold your hand on camera after this show is over.”

You couldn’t help but cry even more after you realized that you have overreacted over the situation. 

“I hate you,” you sobbed as Heeseung tried to contain his laughter out of awe as he wrapped his arms around you.

“And I am so in love with you for it,” he continued laughing.

–

“What’s on the agenda today?” you asked the production manager as they set up the cameras inside of your home. 

“Well,” the production manager smiled at you, “We have a surprise for the both of you today.”

“Oh?” Heeseung quips, head peeking through the bathroom door while he was brushing his teeth. 

“We have your members with us today,” they tell you before the door bursts open and your groups’ members enter the home one by one, crowding your living room faster than you’ve ever seen before.

“Hi!” You jumped happily, throwing yourself over to Yunjin when she entered the room, wrapping your legs around her as you happily squealed.

“Well, they’re reunited,” Jay laughed as the camera panned over to you and Yunjin, still screaming happily. 

“What? What’s on the schedule today?”

“Well, you will have a virtual marriage ceremony in Everland,” they announced. “When you were in the cafe when you guys first met, we asked you to draw your dream fairytale wedding. We were quite impressed with the design that Y/N made that we started questioning if we could do it. But we managed! So, we're all going to the Hybe building today, get everyone ready and we'll be on our way for the big event.”

You couldn't contain your excitement as they handed you an iPad with a picture of a fully realized version of your dress sketch from that day that they asked you to. You didn't think too much of it back then and really just drew your fantasy, you didn't expect that they'd actually use that in real life. 

–

Soon enough the parade was in full swing, people were starting to gather around as soon as they noticed who was sitting on the huge carousel float and the convertible cars behind. Your members were dressed as princesses too, Heeseung's were dressed as knights.

People were squealing as they watched you and Heeseung interact with the kids in the crowd. You were dancing and playing with the bubble machines they gave you early on. 

To be frank, it made you feel like a kid again. You didn't get to experience a lot of it when you were a kid because you were always busy with dancing and even when you became an adult, you still barely had time to go. You couldn't believe that you were there on the carriage, being looked up to by the babies and kids that were probably there for the first time. You hoped that they were getting the fun that they were meant to experience being in a theme park. 

“Y/N!” The crowd cheered your name as you turned to them and gave them a little dance. 

Heeseung watched you fondly from the side. He couldn't help but notice how natural your presence were, especially around kids. You looked so happy, your smile was brighter than he's ever seen. 

“Lee Heeseung! Is she beautiful?” A kid yelled from his direction, making you look over the kid and then to your partner. You thought he'd deflect it, anything he would say or do right now will be held against him by his begrudging fans. You would understand if he did. 

But instead Heeseung crossed his arms at the kid and asked him back, “Have you seen a woman more beautiful than her?”

You couldn't stop yourself from blushing, even attempting to hide your face in one of the posts, making the crowd laugh at your cute reaction. 

“Aigoo,” he cooed, walking over you and hugging you from behind, once again making the crowd roar as he laughed at how shy you were getting. 

Just then, the float started moving again. By then you were too shy to even move from your position, leaving Heeseung with no choice but to take your hands off the post and use it to do a little cute dance infront of everyone. 

You were laughing uncontrollably, you face was crimson through the make up on your face and you were sure your face would be all over the internet when you go home later but you couldn’t seem to be worried about that right now. All your mind was on trying to stabilize yourself in front of the people once again.

“Are you okay now?” he asked, fixing a stray hair that slipped out of your perfectly pinned hair. “You're not very red anymore.” He points it out, carefully dabbing a paper towel that the staff handed him moments ago on your forehead while chuckling lightly. 

“You're saying it like it wasn't your fault,” you rolled your eyes at him playfully, softly hitting his shoulder. 

“Come dance with me,” he grinned, reaching for both of your hands and interlocking them behind his neck before placing his on your waist. The both of you pranced around the lively music as the float moved to it's next spot. 

Asking you to dance was Heeseung's way of concealing the fact that he was about to drop dead out of nervousness for what he's about to do. In the briefing a while ago, while they were getting ready to go to Everland, he was asked if he wanted to do something special, considering that the two of you only have less than a week before the filming of the show is over. After being egged on by his members to do a cute proposal, he agreed that it would be cute and would make the experience more special for you. 

“You're having so much fun, no?” he asked, as he spun you around, your dress flowing around you. You can hear the faint coos of your members from the next car, even laughs from Heeseung's teammates. 

“So much,” you replied as you attempted to do the same thing for him but the height difference made it much more difficult for him, bending his back more than he would usually do. 

He laughed at himself before grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around. 

Soon enough the float stops again and you notice everything starts to slow down a bit from what it used to. You looked around curiously, trying to figure out what was going on with the sudden change of tempo, but instead you find Heeseung down on one knee with a silver ring presented before you, before he proudly shouts out, just so everyone can hear it, “Y/L/N Y/N, will you marry me?”

The crowd roars all so suddenly after Heeseung says it, making you jump a bit from how loud it was. You could even hear Sunoo, Kazuha and Eunchae screaming a few feet away. You looked around, once again, and it was a fairytale. You don’t even know why no one has climbed up your float and grabbed you by the neck after seeing this unfold. The girls were out of the car now, they were happily jumping while Heeseung’s younger members cheered as loud as they could, even chanting some ship name you’ve only heard for the first time. 

Looking back at Heeseung, his eyes never looked so clear and so happy before. His smile made his face so insanely handsome, you began questioning if it was possible to fall in love with the same face twice and feel just as gobsmacked with how beautiful he was made. 

“Yes,” you laughed, awkwardly going down on your knees too. You don’t even know why you did but it felt right to just be there, on the same eye level with him. He laughed at your actions as he slipped the ring on your finger, next to your grandmother’s ring that you still kept to where he moved it. 

“Kiss her!” a kid yelled from the crowd, following an uproar of requests to do so. Of course it was not going to happen, but Heeseung did manage to sneak a soft kiss on the side of your head as the both of you posed for the people taking photos. 

You don’t even know how you’re going to recover from this. You were smiling and dancing all throughout the rest of the parade, but deep inside, you were hoping that Heeseung stays true to his word because there is no way that you were going to be able to live normally after this. There was no way that after filming this show, you would be able to show up in the same music shows acting like this man never made you question your capabilities for love. 

You were in too deep, you don’t even know how you’ll manage to ever be the same after this. And it wasn’t like you. You were resilient. You knew how to withstand the adversities that came in your life.

But what if it’s not so much of an adversity? What if it was love? How were you ever going to endure that?

After all of you were worn down by excitement and thrill from hopping from one ride to another in the park, you were later informed to rest early after the group dinner, as you will be back in the studio to record your special performance song for the music show that will be aired once the variety show airs. The song would be yet to be decided but you were pretty sure it would be heavily discussed over dinner. So you just decided to go with what everyone thinks would sell the most.

You weren’t quite sure how to feel by then. You were tired and your thoughts plagued you over and over whenever you had your silent moments. You couldn’t believe it. In 4 more days, you will be separated from Heeseung. 

“Are you okay?” Heeseung asked, as he reached for your hand. “You’re very quiet.”

“Just tired,” you replied shortly. “I’m okay.”

Heeseung didn’t buy your excuse, but he held onto your hand still, hoping that it would give you some sense of comfort to whatever might be bothering you. You had a long day and tomorrow and the following days would be as well considering that they are now asking you to record and perform a song for the last episode, which he hasn’t even experienced, but is already breaking him inside to think about. 

He doesn’t even want to think about what song he would perform, in high hopes that he could avoid it that way despite knowing the inevitability of it. But what’s wrong with a little blind hope, no?

જ⁀➴ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

You sat there inside of the studio as you watched Heeseung record his part of the song, Accidentally In Love.

It didn't feel real that you and Heeseung have to get this all done in a matter of 3 days. It only feels like yesterday when your girls were only convincing you to do this—now, you're four days away from parting ways. And you managed to fall in love with someone you barely knew for less than a month, and him likewise. 

Do it for the plot they said. 

No matter where this road may take you and Heeseung, things will never be the same for you. You can never tell how it will be for him—but for you? A piece of you will never recover from this. A piece of you will always remember the shape of his body next to you or the way his perfume smells or the way the palm of his hands molds perfectly into yours. Nothing can make you not remember those things now. And if it doesn't end well… then you guess the only comfort left is that you'll see him around. You can pretend that things are okay—and that it's all a performance because that's what you do, you perform.

It's one sick and twisted performance. But at least… you got to experience it, no?

“Jagiya, it's your turn!” Heeseung happily exits the booth and reaches for the notebook in front of you where you had taken notes from your vocal coach earlier. 

He was actually surprised how detailed your notes were. At this age, he wouldn't think someone would still be this serious about taking coaching, especially since you've been a trainee and an idol for years now. Somehow, even though it wasn't a question before, it made sense that you were your company's golden child—you were dedicated to your craft and was always open to improving anything, and you always come through with the best results. Years ago, Heeseung thought it was not worth his dreams to pursue any girl. But you're Y/N. You are way out of his league. And you are in love with him. It would be blasphemous to not take the risk for his dream girl. He doesn't have it in him to waste that.

“You two are really comfortable,” your coach chuckled at the both of you. “Young love.”

You and Heeseung looked at each other, shocked at what your coach just said. The woman laughed payfully at your surprised faces, “It would take a person to be braindead to not notice how in love the both of you are. I can hear it, even if you don’t say it directly. I can see it, just by the mere look in your young faces. And the air got disgustingly sweet the moment you two stepped in this studio.”

You glanced at the camera, but the man behind shook his head to tell you that he wasn’t recording. You don’t wish to ruin your career, as much as you love Heeseung but you were going to take the risk and believe the cameraman that he wasn’t recording when you said it, “You think so?”

“My husband looked at me like that when we were younger,” she smiled, grabbing her phone from the soundboard and unlocking her phone to show you her screensaver. It was a photo of her and her husband, with their two sons. One was a little over three years old and the other looked like he was just a year old. “Now he’s taught our boys to look at me the same way. It pays to marry men who truly make you happy and would do anything to keep you that way.”

Heeseung wondered if he did that to you—if he made you happy. Because he wants to do that. He wants to be the person that you’ll think of wanting to come home to or at least for where they are right now, someone you’ll be excited to call after a busy day. He wants to be the person that you’ll want to reach for when things get heavy or if you want to celebrate even the tiniest things. He wants to be your person. He wants to be present for you.

“I must be lucky then,” you joked. Half-meant though. 

“Only one of the very few who are,” she chuckled, reaching for your arm to give you a little squeeze. “If they tell you to enjoy your youth first, tell them it’s even more enjoyable to do it together. Don’t let them get to you, okay?”

–

“Tired?” Heeseung asked as soon as you rest your head on his shoulder only seconds after he’s settled next to you inside the car. 

“Yeah,” you respond quietly, trying to get a few minutes of rest before you are home. “We had to polish the choreography for the comeback next week after our rehearsals. The steps were pretty fast and detailed.”

“I know you’ll do great next week.”

“We’re not going home to the same place, next week,” you mumbled sadly. 

“I’ll watch you still,” he reassures, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. “I will always watch you and think you’re doing great.”

–

“The two of you are going to be allowed to start packing up your things tonight,” they told you as you tried to hold your breath to keep yourself from breaking down. 

You were exhausted. After your performance in MBC’s music show, you had to follow through your original schedule with your group to rehearse for your comeback show which was draining with the amount of criticism you had to receive from how distracted you seemed the entire time. 

Judging from how quiet Heeseung was being, you knew he had a long day too and you didn’t want to add up to it by telling him and allowing it to weigh him down even more. 

“I need to talk to you, Y/N, before you go,” your manager called before you could stand up and gather your things from the green room. 

You nodded and followed her outside to the other makeup room so that you may be able to speak in private.

“Are you and Lee Heeseung together?” she asked sternly as soon as you shut the door after you.

You looked at her in shock, wondering if you were too obvious about it or if she could read your mind. 

“What do you mean?”

“I need you to not play dumb with me, Y/N.” She tells you, the atmosphere getting thicker around the both of you, making your heart pound against your chest. 

“I don’t know…”

The older woman seemed to notice the fear in your energy, making her regret the harsh tone she used on you almost immediately. The woman softened as soon as she noticed your eyes glossing as you looked at her.

“Y/N,” she sighed. “I need to know it if you want me to help you.”

You let out a deep breath that you didn’t notice you were holding. Along with it, came with the rest of your tears as you slid down on the floor, crying. 

You don’t even know why you started to cry. Was it a relief? Was it because you knew this was going to bring trouble to your group? What is because you could put Heeseung’s career in jeopardy? God, a few days ago you were so sure that you were going to power through this with Heeseung? Yesterday, you were so sure that you could do this—but now? You don’t know where it all went. You don’t know how to feel.

It was the first time you felt as such. It was the first time that you had to admit that you were not sure how to go about something that you wanted so badly because this time, it wasn’t just you. It’s Heeseung’s career and his life that’s on the line too. And you don’t know if you can do that to him.

“Y/N,” your manager called softly, helping you up and ushering you to sit on one of the chairs. “Are you and Heeseung together? I’m not going to be mad at you or him. I just need to know. I want you to be happy.”

“I don’t know what we are,” you confessed. “We’ve only established liking each other, but other than that, I don’t even know where we stand.”

“Thank you for telling me, darling,” she tells you while squeezing your hand to calm you down. “After this, I’m going to sit you and the girls down on how to go about this behind the media, okay?”

She helped you look less miserable when you went out by giving you your baseball cap and a facemask before exiting the building to get to your ride home. 

“Please eat dinner and pack your things, okay?” she reminds you one last time before closing the door after you. 

—

“Hee,” you called Heeseung as soon as you saw him exit the bathroom, freshly showered.

“Yes?”

“Watch this with me,” you tell him, reaching for him to pull him faster next to the empty seat next to you. 

“What movie is it?”

“Serendipity,” you replied. “It’s my parents’ favorite movie.”

“Serendipity,” He sounded it out like a kid learning a new word for the first time. “What does it mean?”

“It’s destiny’s big fat joke to humankind,” you replied. “It’s when it gives you something really good you refuse to believe it’s real or you deserve it. But no matter how far the chances will take you, it will always find you.”

“I hope that’s what we’re experiencing right now,” he tells you before scooching closer to where you sat. 

“What if it’s not?”

“It wouldn’t change anything.” He smiles softly at you, face inching closer to yours. “Having to experience being this close to you, someone that I liked for years now—it’s something I would never get tired of bragging about to my members. And if it is and life goes well for the both of us, I’ll tell the story of the luckiest man alive whose chance presented itself in front of him to be in love with the most beautiful woman in the world. I’ll tell it as a bedtime story to our kids.”

“I don’t want this to end, Hee,” you hummed quietly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not losing me,” he smiles at you as he rests his forehead against yours. “Or I’m going to lose my mind.”

Tears began falling from your eyes again before you could even stop yourself. You’ve already cried so many times today, you don’t even know where it’s coming from at this point. You thought by now, you’ve already cried every tear you had in your system but it doesn’t stop coming. 

This time, Heesueng couldn’t help but feel his heart clench at the sight of you being so anxious and broken over the thought of the both of them having to separate. He’s been having a hard time trying to brush it off because he didn’t want to show you how much it affected him out of fear that it would bear more weight on you. Jungwon has been trying to listen to him these past few nights, trying to comfort him that everything will eventually fall into place—Yeonjun and Yunjin made it work. He believes that you and him could work just as well. 

“What can I do to help you, jagiya?” he asked, running his knuckle softly across your face to wipe down the tears that stained your cheeks already. 

“Kiss me.”

You don’t know why you said it. You don’t even know what made you say it, but it felt right to ask him that. Somehow, you felt like being that close to him would make you feel comfortable. 

And Heeseung did not hesitate. The kiss was hot and heavy… and wet and sloppy. Your stomach began to tingle a bit, then even with the both of you sitting down, your knees felt like wobbling jelly. His open mouth, moving against yours made you weak. You were melting at the hot touch of the palm of his hands snaking its way from your cheek to the back of your head to pull you closer to him as if it was still humanly possible. It’s like you were floating and you don’t know when you started to feel weightless because moments ago, you felt like the weight of the world was weighing down on you. So weightless, you didn’t even notice Heeseung moved you to sit on his lap already.

“I’m so in love with you, jagiya,” he says, as soon as you pull away to breathe. “I’m so in love with you I can’t even explain how it feels to hold back.”

“Then don’t hold back,” you replied, pushing his chin up with your index finger to make him look up at you. “I don’t want you to hold back, Hee. Even just for tonight.”

“Jagiya,” he breathes heavily, physically restraining himself from bringing it any further but also failing as he chases your lips every time he feels like you are moving away. “You know it’s not that easy.”

“Please,” You pleaded, hands moving to reach for his hand before guiding it under your shirt and over the soft mound on your chest. He looked surprised at first that you weren’t wearing a bra underneath. God, he couldn’t help but feel himself get hard underneath you—he was almost embarrassed but you seemed to not mind, pressing yourself harder on him. 

“Are you sure you want this, jagi?” he asks one more time.

You nod.

“I need to hear you say it, jagi,” he tells you, his free hand moving to your face to move the stray hair on your face. “Say it to me, please?”

“Ruin me,” you tell him firmly, as you rest your forehead against him. “For everyone. I want you to make sure I’ll never be able to love anyone else but you.”

Something snapped inside of Heeseung. He cannot believe he’s hearing all these right now but he’s not complaining. He doesn’t have it in him—he’s just a man. Someone craving for closeness with someone he never thought he’d even come close with. 

He doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do right now, but it didn’t bother him one bit. You could be gone tomorrow and he’ll never get the chance to be this close to anyone. You could be just a mere memory to him before he notices it—would it be so bad to keep you this sweet in his memory? 

“I love you, Y/N.” He says before pressing a passionate kiss on yours once again. 

For once, you let yourself go. You let the feeling consume you—the lust and love. You let it hug you like it never has before. 

And if this is destiny’s sense of humor playing its trick on you. The joke is on them. Because you were not known to give up. You never wanted someone as much as you wanted Heeseung and you were going to have him—even if it meant looking at sasaengs dead in the eye while they wished for your untimely death.

—

a/n: 

I got carried away???? Omg???? It literally started when I saw a tiktok abt We Got Married when Joy and Sungjae were there and watched it and got inspired and the next thing I knew I was pushing to 40 pages into my google docs file 😃 Anyway!!! I have been very absent recently… due to a lot of causes (lol i got into another situationship and it didn’t end well again and i took it to heart even if it was my fault—also i’m in my last year of college I'm literally 😃😃 even finding time to rest is hard)

Anyway~ I hope you guys liked this one!!! Tell what you think here and if you want me to make blurbs from this fic in the future. 

Thank you for making it this far in the story hehe

xo, anya ୨୧

[revelboo]

got a bit of a silly one for you; which bots would get a kick out of hearing or making their human laugh so hard that they gigglesnort?

I think most of them would be amused, especially if the human is a bit embarrassed. A few would just go out of their way to try and make you do it again

Messing With The Human Headcanons

Trailbreaker

• Loves to make you laugh so hard you’re giggling and your eyes are leaking. Because you’re laughing with him, not at him like everyone else. Knows they whisper about him behind his back. That he’s just the “force-field guy.” Useless unless they need his skills. Overlooked a lot of the time by everyone but Hound. Like that’s all he’s good for. But you don’t care about what he can do, just like him for him. Sure you’d had a rocky start, at odds with each more than you got along. All his fault, every mistake and short-sighted decision all him. But he likes it when you laugh. Loves that smile.

Waspinator

• Leaning over your shoulder to vent against your neck and stir your hair, he huffs and his antenna perk up. Sniffing your coffee. Like he does every morning. Sighing, you hold out the cup. “Want to try some?” And those antenna immediately flatten back to make you think that he doesn’t actually like the way your coffee smells. “Try a bit,” you insist, grinning and he twists his servos together, clearly uncomfortable as you lift it to his face, watching his mandibles pull together and fidget before he reluctantly leans forward. Still find his mouth unsettling as his mandibles spread to reveal his actual mouth and those sharp denta as he obediently takes a drink. And his wings flare out, antenna flattening back. “Good, huh?”

• Not good. Dirt water. Nasty, bitter, dirt water. Whining helplessly at you as you start laughing and point at the sink. Giving him permission to spit it out and you’re wheezing, as he spits and fumbles with the controls like he’s seen you do until he can tip his head under the faucet, get a mouthful and spit again. Why would you drink that? “Waspinator doesn’t like,” he manages, shaking his head and you’re doubled over, snorting and laughing. At him. Can’t even be annoyed with you as your amusement spills through him to warm him. Likes that happy sound even if it’s at his expense.

Brainstorm

• Irritated that you’re laughing at him, instead of impressed. “Wait-is this to impress that other guy? Do you have a bro-crush on Perceptor?” When he doesn’t answer, you crack up, snorting and giggling. And okay. It’s a tiny bit cute. Even if you’re quite possibly the most obnoxious creature he’s ever met. “You do, don’t you? You just want him to notice you. Senpai, notice me!” You’re wheezing now, eyes leaking and he’s changed his mind. There’s nothing cute about you, you’re a little pit-spawned demon sent to torment him and if you breathe a word of this to Perceptor, he’ll offline and take you with him.

Swerve

• “Stop-stop, I can’t breathe,” you gasp, smacking at his servos. Almost screaming you’re laughing so hard and now your eyes are leaking. “You’re awful.” And heads are turning along the bar to stare at you both. Probably wondering if they’re the subject of your amusement. Which is fair enough because he’s been dredging up every bit of dirt on every other crew member he can think of to keep you entertained. Turns out you enjoy gossip as much as he does, but not as much as he loves your snorting laughter and giggles.

TFP Megatron

• “You really think you can make demands?” He growls, carefully hooking a servo through your glittery harness and tugging so you stumble forward a step. Expecting you to become indignant or just angry. Not to reach and carefully remove his clawed servo, patting him.

• “You honestly think I’m the one on the leash?” You say, grinning broadly up at him as he scowls. “I’m the one that’s settling here, because let’s face it. Anger issues and no impulse control even when you’re not on drugs? You’re not exactly the Nemesis’s most eligible bachelor.” There it is, optics narrowing and sharp denta bared in a sharklike grin. “Some of those Vehicons are kind of adorable,” you add, laughing at his expression. Because no matter how much you piss him off, there’s not a thing he can do about it.

• Servos slowly clenching and unclenching, he growls, but knows you’re teasing. Even if he despises your sense of humor. And the more angry he acts, the funnier you think it is until you’re cracking up at his scowl. Little brat. Knows you’ll make it up to him later and that you at least know not to dare voice such things if anyone’s around. Really, he spoils you letting you get away with your attitude. Anyone else would be torn limb from limb, but he enjoys your laughter.

[sahrii]

SORRY xo | K. Tsukishima

synopsis; he says somethings he didn’t mean, and he apologises in his signature tsukki way.

word count; 1482

warnings; hurt to comfort, no prns mentioned for reader, a lot of tension i guess, finished at 12am thanks.

“—and then I told her that I—“ you stop mid sentence when you realise he might not be listening. “Are you even listening to me?” You question, narrowing your eyes at him as the grip around the steaming hot mug in your hands tightens a little.

The room was dimly lit by a feeble light, and nothing other than the soft hum of the television causing minuscule vibrations in the drums of your ears can be heard.

Tsukishima’s head was lolling back against the cushions, arms limply sprawling over the sides. His eyes were tightly shut in an attempt to block any spec of light from making its way into his retina.

“Hm?” he questioned, turning his head a little. The question was, however, laced with an unspoken tone of annoyance that made the hairs on your skin stand like saluting soldiers. “I’m so tired, can we have this talk later?”

He is tired. His body is aching from the amount of times he’s jumped today. His head feels slightly wobbly on his shoulders. He doesn’t want to talk because he thinks he will say something wrong. He knows he will say something wrong, and mess this up.

You blink at him. Your mouth grows a mind of its own. “You’re always tired,” You say before you realise it, while placing the mug on the coffee table that is slightly coated with a thin layer of dust. “Shit, sorry I didn’t—“

“Well, sorry, I have a fucking life,” he muttered with a taunting voice, lips pressed into a slight frown that had a hint of exasperation tattooed into the delicate creases on his lips. He wished he didn’t say that. He wanted someone to slap him in the face.

The previous hum of the television dissipated into nothingness, your pupils widening by the words spilling out of his lips. “What?”

“You heard me, sorry I have dreams I’m chasing,”

“You’re not being serious, are you,” you replied. Was he implying that you’re a good-for-nothing with no goals in life? You gulped, heart skipping a several beat.

“I am. I’m tired of this, it’s becoming a lot to deal with,” he replied. His fingers went up to his temples, rubbing them in small half-soothing circles in a sad attempt to quell the throbbing headache evolving behinds his eyes.

Your mind reeled, the word tired echoing across your lobes in a manner that created a distorted symphony of confusion and disbelief from within.

“So listening to your partner talking is a chore now? Emphasis on the partner that has no life or dreams to chase.”

“I didn’t mean that—“

“You said it though,” you replied, voice faltering a little with an overwhelming sense of suffocation submerging every cell in your body. You clenched and unclenched your fists in an attempt to calm your nerves.

“I just need a few minutes of silence, I fucking came from a match, okay? I’m tired and this is not too much to ask for,” he bit back.

Saying this doesn’t feel right, he thought. Saying this might have been a mistake, he thought again. Because lying is bad. He loved hearing your voice. It’s what kept him going, the contagious hum of your voice, the way it trembled with anticipation, the giggle he’d like to store in a bottle and get drunk over every single day. Lying is bad. He was lying.

Silence laced itself, it’s thin threads tangling around the both of you. Your eyes were wide open, pupils dilating with hurt. Your cheeks flushed—a hint of embarrassment tattooing itself on you.

Embarrassment mixed with disbelief.

“Okay, so next time I won’t ever speak unless you ask me to, does that work for you? I will book an appointment to speak with you, actually,” you cut through the silence, voice growing louder. It had a slight tremble to it—one he could only hear. One he’d recognise even if he heard your voice from across the seven oceans.

“That’s not what I’m saying—“

“Oh, so tell me what you’re saying, because it sounds to me like you just don’t care,”

“I do care, I’m just exhausted and I don’t want to have a conversation I don’t want to have.” As soon as these words spilled out of his mouth, regret hit him like a tidal wave. A cold hand clutched his beating heart as he saw the colour drain from your face.

“…a conversation you don’t want to have…?” You questioned, brows furrowing in hurt, the question leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

“No wait—that’s not—“

“No it’s okay, I’ll stop talking then, you don’t have to waste your precious energy on me, or listen to convos you don’t want to have” you stood up, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. Everything else he said has dissipated into background noise as you focused on the ringing of your ears.

You rush in hurried steps into your shared bedroom and slam the door hard enough for the sound to echo throughout the walls of your small apartment. Tonight, you fell asleep with caged sobs, a tear-soaked pillow and a heavy feeling chaining around your heart, suffocating your every breath.

The clock ticked 4.56pm.

With every tick, with every time a hand moves, you are reminded of the argument you’ve had with him last night. It’s 4.57pm and you’ve been on bed all day, arms sprawled in a chaotic manner, pillow soaked with tears, hair tangled in a mess you might never be able to detangle, and a slightly dry throat.

You wonder where it all went wrong. You wonder if the words he’d uttered had a hint of truth to them. You wonder if he had thought about what he said in the past 12 hours.

You decided to finally give the bed a break and get up. With a heavy heart, you slowly lifted yourself off of the soft mattress, the soles of your feet making contact with the cold wooden floor, sending a shiver down the small of your back.

Truthfully, you expected the place to be a mess. But as soon as you stepped foot into the leaving room, each step once again leaving a trail of chills down your back, your nostrils were engulfed by the warm smell of salted caramel and morning coffee.

Your eyes trailed around, the previously visible coat of dust on the coffee table has been wiped into nothingness, the couch was dusted and cushions placed in a way that scratched your brain, floors so clean you can practically see a reflection of your dishevelled hair on them.

But what caught your eyes the most was the small basket sitting still on the same couch. You step closer, your curiosity getting the best of you. A woven basket with flowers, a mug, a vanilla scented candle, and a few other stuff. A card. You pick up the card, a silly smile etched into your lips.

TO Y/N

I’M VERY SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY. I DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF IT, IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE BUT I WAS TIRED AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TOOK OVER ME. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I REALLY ENJOY LISTENING TO YOU. I LIKE YOUR VOICE, IDIOT. I LOVE YOU AND I’M SORRY.

—TSUKISHIMA KEI.

The sound of rustling pans filled your ears, catching your attention. You rushed into the kitchen, only to be welcomed by your boyfriend, with your pink cooking apron, and a frown that screams confusion chiselled on his lips as his eyes read over what seems like a recipe book.

“What are you doing?” Your voice startled him, causing him to drop one of the pans he was holding in his hands.

“Holy shit, you scared me,” he muttered, leaning down to pick up the pan.

“I think that’s deserved,” you smiled as you make your way to him in a jolly manner, yesterday’s conversation seeming to have disappeared from your head.

“Maybe,” he replied, setting the pan on the countertop. His hand made its way to his neck, an attempt to rub the nervousness away. You stare at him, waiting for him to spill what he’s about to say. “Will—will you continue telling me what you told that woman,” he mumbled, a faint blush sprawling on the apples of his cheeks.

You eyed him with confusion and a furrowed brow. Until you realise what he meant. A grin made its way to your lips as you stepped closer, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"I’m glad you asked," you replied, a warm smile on your lips as you launched into a detailed recounting of yesterday's events.

The intimacy of the moment, the shared space of your kitchen, the rhythmic clinking of pots and pans as he (cluelessly) cooked, and the easy flow of your conversation, all combined to create a sense of comfortable ease.

thank u @heartmaddie and @chlosology for beta reading ily guys

[sabrinasopposite]

friends or lovers?

pt. 2 of drinks or coffee / college!charlie baker x photographer!reader

summary: stolen kisses, polaroids, photo booths, coffee and a questionable situationship. y/n waits till charlie ask her finally out, or are they just friends?

Autumn folds itself over New York like an old, beloved quilt—warm, golden, frayed at the edges. The air smells of cinnamon and rain-damp pavement, and somewhere between the red-brick college buildings and the quiet hum of late afternoon, y/n finds herself seeing Charlie Baker through a different lens.

They are not together. Not officially. But there are Polaroids of him in a box beneath her bed, tucked between receipts of late-night coffee runs and half-melted red lipsticks he once pressed a kiss against. There are moments—his laughter curling like smoke in the cold air, his hands brushing against hers when he hands her a camera, his eyes catching hers across a room—that make her wonder if she is something more than just a passing season to him.

She never asks. And he never says.

They start hanging out after class, in the spaces between their lives where time stretches slow and golden. She teaches him how to take professional pictures, and he watches her like she is the one worth capturing.

“Like this,” y/n murmurs, adjusting the lens. Her fingers, delicate but sure, guide his hands over the camera. Charlie is a quick learner, but he’s distracted today—his gaze flickering to the way her lashes kiss her cheekbones when she blinks, the way the afternoon light pools against the dip of her collarbone. He wants to tell her she is beautiful, but instead, he just says, “I think I like this.”

y/n only hums in response. Photography. Her. He isn’t sure anymore.

but later, when he isn’t looking, she takes a picture of him—grease-smudged and sun-drenched, working on his car, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A moment preserved. A secret, just for her.

He buys her a camera with his own money.

y/n doesn’t expect it. She unwraps the box with careful fingers, her breath catching when she sees the sleek, familiar frame—the model she had offhandedly mentioned wanting months ago.

“Charlie…”

His hands are stuffed into his pockets, but he shrugs, looking almost sheepish. “Your old one’s been acting up.”

She swallows around the lump in her throat, her heart pressing against her ribs like it wants to escape. This is more than a gift. It is him paying attention. It is him remembering. It is him saying something without saying it at all.

She doesn’t know how to thank him, so she just steps forward and wraps her arms around him, her cheek pressed against his chest. He stiffens for half a second before exhaling, his hands finding the small of her back. He holds her there, warm and solid, and she wonders how she is supposed to go back to being just his friend after this.

Their first kiss happened in a photobooth.

It is supposed to be a joke—crowding into the small space, laughing as they press against each other. The first photo is blurry, their smiles mid-motion. The second, exaggerated faces. The third—something quieter. Softer. A moment where y/n’s breath stutters because she is suddenly aware of how close they are, of the way Charlie’s gaze drops to her red lips, of the way time seems to hold its breath.

The fourth click of the camera catches the moment his mouth brushes hers.

A kiss, caught in black and white, immortalized before either of them fully register it.

Later, y/n keeps the photo strip in her box, between a napkin from the coffee shop where they sat too close and the memory of his hands laced with hers. But they do not talk about it. They never do.

Her friend asks one day, with an arched brow and a knowing smile, “Are you and Charlie dating?”

y/n hesitates. Laughs it off. “No, we’re just friends.” The words taste strange on her tongue. Because in her lenses, they looked like a couple. Like a couple of a movie or a book, simply the good looking guy from college likes the photographer girl. But it was more than that, Charlie was more than that. 

He was like a shot of espresso, being bathed in sunlight when he was around y/n. She made him feel like the best version of himself, without even trying. But for y/n, Charlie was her eternal sunshine. He was perfect for her imperfectness.

But then she hears it—Beth’s name, mentioned in passing by one of Charlie’s friends. His ex. The one who texted him after he soft-launched y/n on Instagram, a blurry photo of her in golden light, captioned with nothing but a heart.

It’s nothing, they say. Probably just a casual message. But y/n feels it settle in her stomach like a stone. What if she’s just the in-between? The girl who is there because Charlie is lonely, because it’s easy, because autumn is fleeting, and so is she?

She doesn’t want to be the other woman. The placeholder.

So she pulls away.

Missed messages. Half-hearted smiles. Excuses.

Charlie notices.

It was a Friday afternoon, where the sun was disappearing from its sky and the stars were slowly shining around. Charlie found y/n in Central Park. She had left her phone in her dorm, wandering the city with her camera slung over her shoulder, trying to quiet the thoughts unraveling inside her. She took pictures of golden leaves reflected in puddles when the sun was still there, of strangers lost in laughter, of the sky stretching endlessly above her. She had planned to go to her favorite vintage cinema, lose herself in old film reels and dim lighting, but before she could, Charlie was there—winded, breathless, searching.

“There you are,” he exhales. y/n looks up at him, the weight in her chest pressing deeper.

“Where have you been?” he asks, voice softer now. “We were supposed to meet at our coffee shop.”

Her hands tighten around her camera. And then, before she can stop herself— “What are we?” she blurts. The more she looked at him, the more she felt. That was simple. Thats what she liked when she was around Charlie, he wasn’t an adjustment like in cameras. He was there that she could simply just tell everything, without pulling back or like adjust her camera for its perfectness. 

Charlie’s expression shifts, his features caught between surprise and something more careful. “What do you want me to be?”

y/n thinks of the Polaroids, the coffee receipts, the soft-lipped kisses caught in frozen frames. She thinks of the way she feels when he looks at her like she’s something worth capturing. “I want us to be us,” she whispers. “More than just friends.”

Charlie’s face softens, and then— A slow, brilliant smile spreads across his lips, like the first crack of sunlight after a storm. “I was waiting for the right moment to ask you,” he admits. “But it seems you stole my moment or idea.”

Her laugh is a breath of relief, a quiet surrender. And when he kisses her this time, in front of the vintage theater, beneath the endless city sky, it is not something to be tucked away in a box.

It is something to be lived.

Something to be real, which was more worth than a camera pic.

y/n would have never guessed that being stuck in a lame and bad party, would give her the best thing like Charlie.

🍒 ps: I heard that y/n has polaroid pictures of shirtless charlie------ 💌: @blackynsupremacy @alelo23 @angelsgalore @collywobblvs @tvdelrey @tinainaction @seulgi-burgundy @floralscented @artyandink

[luvvictoria]

First Impressions

+ pairings. simon "ghost" riley x f!reader

+ tags. romance, heavy (?) angst, slow-burn, action-packed military romance with angst and tension

+ summary. A skilled Air Force pilot is assigned to provide air support for a mission alongside Task Force 141, specifically working with the infamous Lieutenant Simon "Ghost" Riley. You immediately feel the tension in the room, as Ghost is cold, distant, and unapproachable. Despite the pilot's efforts to be professional, it’s clear that Ghost doesn’t trust easily, especially not outsiders. The mission itself is simple — clear the skies while the ground team breaches a weapons facility — but the dynamic between you and Ghost is far from smooth. Your mutual dislike is evident.

+ materialist ; next part.

+ a/n. Reblog with your favorite line! It would help me to grow my account !! Thank you in advance. Thank you so much for your support ! It means very much to me! Also if you want to take a little peek at the next chapter here is my ko-fi !!

Task Force 141’s briefing room smelled of burnt coffee and sweat. It was the kind of stale air that clung to your skin and made your throat feel like it was coated in ash. The kind of air you had grown accustomed to on long missions, though nothing about the situation in front of you felt familiar.

You had barely stepped inside when you felt it — eyes boring into you like lasers. You didn’t have to look to know who it was. Lieutenant Simon "Ghost" Riley. The man was infamous, a ghost in every sense of the word, and everyone who worked with him learned one thing fast: don’t try to get close.

Seated in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, he was every bit as unapproachable as they said he’d be. His iconic skull mask was in place, his body language closed off, as if daring anyone to try and get past the cold exterior. The air around him practically screamed I don’t need anyone but myself. It was the kind of attitude you had always hated. People who acted like they were the only ones who mattered. The lone wolf mentality.

You hated guys like that. The ones who acted like they were the only ones capable of doing their job. The ones who prided themselves on keeping everyone at arm’s length, hiding behind walls of silence and intimidation. It wasn’t that you were a stranger to soldiers like him. Hell, you’d worked with your share of them in the past. But Ghost? He was different. He was untouchable.

You squared your shoulders, taking a step forward and offering a firm, steady greeting, “Lieutenant Riley.”

He didn’t stand or offer any sort of acknowledgment beyond the briefest of nods. The words that came out of his mouth were clipped, as if he couldn’t be bothered. “Pilot.”

His voice was rough, like gravel under your boots, and the way he said it made it clear he was already annoyed by your presence.

Yeah. This was going to be fun.

You took a seat at the table, eyeing him for a moment. The silence between you two felt thick and uncomfortable, but you didn’t care. You were here to do your job, and nothing was going to stand in the way of that. Not even the infamous Ghost.

Before either of you could exchange another word, the door to the briefing room swung open with a force that rattled the walls. Captain Price, as always, looked like he had been born in a battlefield. His voice had the weight of a man who had seen it all. He stormed in, boots thudding against the floor, a mission file clutched in his hands. The moment he entered, everyone straightened, their focus snapping to him without question. Price wasn’t someone you ignored.

“Alright, listen up!” He slammed the mission file onto the table with a force that made the papers inside rustle. “We’ve got a mission to execute. A weapons facility deep in hostile territory. The ground team will breach and clear the place; air support will provide the cover we need. That means you, Captain,” he said, nodding at you, his gaze unflinching.

You nodded back, your stomach tightening just a little. Simple enough. The mission was straightforward — clear the skies, keep the enemy away, let the ground team do their thing. You had done it countless times. It wasn’t the mission itself that had your nerves a little on edge. It was the man sitting across from you.

“Any problems?” Price’s eyes scanned the room, taking in each of the team members. His gaze lingered for a moment on you, and then on Ghost. But neither of you said anything.

“No, sir,” you replied, your voice steady, though you couldn’t stop the way your fingers gripped the edge of your seat. You weren’t exactly a stranger to these kinds of situations, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.

Price’s gaze slid to Ghost then, who grunted in response but didn’t speak. The tension between the two of them was palpable. It was like they were communicating without saying a word, an unspoken understanding that you weren’t a part of. Ghost didn’t even look up at Price, as if he was too busy running through the mission in his head. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was already preparing for the worst.

“We move out in two hours,” Price continued. “Make sure you’re ready. Ghost, you’re the point man. I’ll leave the rest of the details to you two.” He nodded at both of you before turning on his heel and walking out of the room without another word.

You glanced at Ghost again, but this time, there was something different in his eyes. A flicker of something. It was so brief, you almost convinced yourself you imagined it. But for the first time since you entered the room, you felt like he was acknowledging you in some way. Maybe it was the way his jaw tightened, or how his gaze seemed to linger just a little longer than necessary.

You weren’t sure, but you knew one thing for sure: this wasn’t going to be easy. You were going to have to prove yourself to him. Everyone knew that working with Ghost meant earning his trust, and trust wasn’t something he gave out freely.

The room emptied out soon after Price left, and you found yourself alone with Ghost. The silence stretched between you like a thick rope, taut and ready to snap at any moment.

“Look, I don’t know what you’ve heard about me,” you finally spoke, your voice cutting through the quiet. “But I’m here to do my job. Just like you.” You knew you were walking a fine line. You didn’t want to provoke him, but you needed to make it clear. You weren’t intimidated. Not by him. Not by anyone.

Ghost didn’t respond right away. He kept his eyes forward, scanning the mission files Price had left on the table. His fingers brushed over the edges of the papers, but his mind was somewhere else — lost in his own thoughts. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke.

“Just keep your head in the game. Don’t get in my way,” he muttered, voice low, but there was a certain finality to it. A warning, maybe. Or maybe just his way of setting the boundaries. You weren’t sure.

You couldn’t help but smirk. “Don’t worry, Ghost. I’m used to flying solo too.”

At that, his head snapped toward you, his eyes darkened behind that damn mask. “We’ll see about that.”

And just like that, the challenge was set.

As you walked out of the briefing room, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this mission was going to change everything. You had a hunch that, somehow, you and Ghost were going to collide in ways you hadn’t anticipated. You didn’t know what it was going to look like, but you were certain of one thing — it wouldn’t just be the mission that made this complicated.

It was him.

It was always going to be him.

[lostintransist]

The Real Problem With The Trolley

Coffee Shop Meet Cute | Part 5

Part 1 here. AO3

Simon hadn’t been surprised when Kyle said he invited someone to drinks. He had been surprised to see a woman step through the door. What surprised him was not the fact Kyle had invited a woman but that Kyle had invited a normal woman. He attracted beauties the world over. Simon thought back to a day the week before when Kyle had trapped him into listening to a rant.

Simon has watched his sergeant rant and pace for going on ten un-hyperbolic minutes. Kyle had never been one Simon would choose for having woman troubles.

“I bring her flowers and she gives them away!” He is spinning to pace back the other way.

“Does she like flowers?” Simon can’t keep his thoughts to himself any longer.

Kyle stops, foot falling heavy onto the concrete masquerading as carpet on base. He looks at his L.T., incredulous.

“Women like flowers, Simon.”

Simon would have punched the man square in his pretty face if it didn’t require standing. He had sustained a back injury on their last job and had been relegated to desk duty and PT.

“I’m not asking if ‘women’ like flowers Kyle.” Simon failed to keep the snark from the word women as he put air quotes around it. “I’m asking if your bird likes flowers.”

Kyle’s teeth snapped shut as he stared at his L.T. Simon took pity on the younger man.

“I know your mum and sister like flowers. What do they like?”

“Orchid and Sunflowers.” Kyle straightened, tucking one hand into the collar of his shirt in lieu of a tack vest.

“And your bird?”

“She’s not my bird,” he mutters to the floor.

“But you want her to be. Quit treating the woman who bests you in philosophical discussions like the ones who throw themselves at you and would take any crumb of affection that might fall into their mouths. She doesn’t sound like the type to accept scraps.”

Kyle’s nose scrunch gave away the depth of his emotions.

“And what if she doesn’t like me after?”

“After?” Simon prompted.

“After she knows that I am not a good man?” The brusque quality of his voice does not mask the fear, pain, rejection there.

Wincing, Simon stood with back stiff and straight.

“Kyle.” He waited until the man looked up from his boots. “If she’s worth having around at all she’s worth being a friend.”

Simon recoils from the pain when he lifts a foot. Damn. He was getting too old for this life.

“If you meet her would you tell me what you think?”

Introductions pulled him back from the edge of his memories. Kyle had passed your name around as they sat in a booth at a bar that looked like any number of them on this street. His arm is stretched across the back of your chair, possessive. You lean forward, elbows on the table to avoid touching him. Simon didn’t plan on watching you to inform Kyle of his thoughts but the attentive distance you kept drew his interest.

“This is Soap, and this is Ghost,” Kyle pointed to each man in turn.

Johnny held his hand out for you to shake with his signature woman-eating grin.

“Call me Johnny.”

“Simon,” he nods at you instead of offering his hand.

The side eye you send Kyle speaks of familiarity and a solid foundation to your friendship.

“So they do have normal names.”

Kyle cracks with laughter. “I never said they didn’t. Can’t help that you assumed.”

You stick your tongue out at him before turning back to Johnny and Simon. Kyle slips off to grab drinks from the bar. Credit where credit is due, you are interesting and pull everyone into a discussion. Simon even shares his opinions on whether or not trees have domesticated humans, he does not think they have.

When drinks, beers for the guys, are running low a round of rock, paper, scissors sends Kyle to the bar and Johnny nips off to the john to relieve himself.

A deep frustrated sad sigh from Kyle’s bird has Simon looking over at you.

“How copy?”

You glance up at him, to Kyle with a beautiful woman dripping off his arm at the bar, and then turn back to the small drink in your hand, swirling the red-tinged liquid. You had been nursing the single drink the entire night.

“He’s too damn pretty for my good.”

Humming in agreement Simon thought of Johnny.

“He’s loyal though,” he sips his beer to give himself a moment to grab more words. “Kyle has walked through hell for us. He would do more than that for you.”

A snort escapes from you. Simon catches your look of self-derision.

“Kyle wouldn’t want someone like me. I’m a good friend, not a hot fuck.” You sip your drink as if to stop the flow of words.

“Friendships are the best basis for more. He only talks about three women at work. His mum, his sister, and you.”

You would have replied, brows pulled together as if looped together with a stitch tugged taut, but Johnny threw his body onto the bench next to you.

“Lass there are so many men looking for someone to take home. Interested in playing the field?” Johnny waggled his eyebrows in your direction before throwing a wink at Simon.

The bark of laughter from you has both men returning their gazes to you.

“The last time I took a man home from the bar he stayed the night and then hit on my supermodel hot roommates all breakfast. I’m not looking for a repeat of being the ugly step-sister.”

Kyle returns to the table, catching your words’ tail end. Before he can say anything you smile up at him and tap Johnny on the arm.

“I’m gonna head on home.”

Johnny stands and offers you a hand you take as you pull yourself across the bench seat until you can twist to escape.

“Already? You’ve hardly touched your drink?” Kyle gestures to your half-full glass.

Simon watches, eyes moving like he watched a match at Wimbledon.

“I don’t drink much to begin with.”

“I barely got to talk to you.” The sadness in his eyes is clear to Simon, the innumerable missions, plane chats, exfil being delayed times teaching him what that ache looked like on his sergeant.

You must not see it.

“That’s okay, we talk all the time. It was nice to meet some of your teammates though,” you toss a smile to Johnny who returns the gesture. “Good luck with whoever you end up going home with tonight.”

A wave to Simon, a nod to Kyle and you are off. Weaving through the tables and returning the goodbyes from the bar staff. Simon and Johnny watch you go, your absence absorbed by the hum of conversation filling the bar.

Kyle jerks forward when Johnny slaps him on the shoulder.

“I like her; now if she ever gives you a shot don’t fuck it up,” the Scot laughed and settled back into the booth.

When Kyle sits it is with folded arms spread across the table and his nose kissing the wood.

Finishing his beer Simon sets it softly on the table.

“You really like her.”

It is not a question.

“I want my mom to meet her.”

The look of shock on Johnny’s face as it swung to look at him would be comical if Simon didn’t also understand the gravity of that statement.

“Damn Kyle, you got it bad.”

Kyle’s response was to thump his head on the table three times, sit up straight, finish the abandoned drink, and then slam his own.

“I’m going home.”

Simon struggled to stand and Johnny left the booth behind him, hand heated against his shoulder blade. Johnny took care of paying for everyone’s drinks and met them at the door.

Kyle ignored any heated look sent his way by hopeful women, head down and shoulders crunched. Simon had no words of advice for this; he also yearned with no recourse.

Coffee Masterlist | Masterlist

@soldierservant @demothers-empty-blog

[dreameyess11]

𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒅; 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

Carlos Sainz x Reader

You’re sitting across from him at a quaint café, the scent of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the soft chatter of nearby tables. The light catches in your eyes as you lean forward, animatedly sharing a story about your latest adventure. Carlos chuckles at your enthusiasm, but it’s the way you tug your sleeve up absentmindedly to adjust your watch that catches his attention. It’s such a small, inconsequential motion, but for some reason, it makes his heart skip.

It’s not the first time this has happened. He remembers the time you helped him organize his chaos of a travel bag before a race. You didn’t complain, didn’t even ask—just smiled and dove in, folding shirts and tucking socks into corners as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He’d stood there, arms crossed, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he watched you. It wasn’t about the bag. It was the way you hummed softly while you worked, the way you made even the mundane feel special.

And then there was that night at the paddock. He’d invited you to join his team for dinner after a particularly grueling day. You’d laughed with them like you’d known them forever, making jokes, listening intently, drawing everyone in with your warmth. It was the way you casually asked him if he’d gotten enough rest, your tone soft but firm, your concern genuine.

Carlos didn’t understand it at first. He chalked it up to admiration, respect, appreciation for someone who felt like a constant in his otherwise hectic, unpredictable life. But then there were the little things, the moments he couldn’t ignore. Like the time you’d fallen asleep in the passenger seat during a late-night drive, your head resting against the window, lips slightly parted. He’d turned the music down instinctively, not wanting to disturb you, and caught himself stealing glances at how peaceful you looked.

Or the way you laughed—not the polite, reserved laugh you gave strangers, but the full-bodied, uninhibited laugh that made your eyes crinkle and your head tilt back. He realized he wanted to be the reason for that laugh as often as possible.

It hits him one evening when you’re both walking through a park, your hands stuffed in your pockets to keep warm. You pause mid-sentence to crouch down and pet a stray dog that’s approached you. Carlos watches as your face lights up, your voice soft as you speak to the animal. The way you care, the way you notice the small things—it’s like you see the world differently, and he realizes he doesn’t want to see it without you.

“Do you always stop for every dog you meet?” he teases, his voice light, though his chest feels heavy with the weight of unspoken words.

You glance up at him, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Only the ones that look like they need a little extra love,” you reply.

And that’s when it clicks for him. The little things—the small, seemingly insignificant details that make you who you are—they aren’t so little after all. They’re everything. And as you stand, brushing off your jeans and meeting his gaze, Carlos knows. He’s in love with you.

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Hi!! I was hoping I could request a fic where the reader is clumsy as fuck.

And when Bucky and reader go on their first date, he notices bruises scattered over the reader and gets worried that someone in their life is hurting them. Which reader insist, "no I'm safe I'm just clumsy as shit" which he's heard too many times before so he remains unsure.

BUT as the dates go on, he begins to realise just how honest they were being. Hes constantly having to stop the reader from walking into poles and tables, he's catching things before they can hit the ground (including the reader), and when they come home he kisses all their bruises or marks.

And when they finally are becoming more intimate, he's scared of bruising/ hurting the reader and they have to convince him that they aren't made of glass and to just go for it.

Not Made Of Glass » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky gets worried when sees bruises on you and you assure him that you’re just clumsy.

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of implied Smut (18+), language, clumsy!reader, bruises (not abuse), kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buck-star

GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞

You and Bucky are on yours and his first date. As you were telling him about yourself, Bucky couldn’t help but notice that you have a couple bruises on your arm and one on your shoulder. It worried him. He’s starting to think that someone gave you those bruises.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you.” Bucky apologizes politely. “How did you get those bruises?” He asks curiously.

“Oh, those? My friend’s son was trying to teach me how to skateboard, but I ended up falling and that’s how I got these.” You explained.

The thought of someone abusing you lingered in his mind.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Of course I am.” You replied.

“Is someone hurting you, doll?” He asks, keeping his voice low so no one heard him.

“No, I’m safe. I’m just clumsy as shit.” You say with an assuring smile.

Bucky smiles back. He still couldn’t help but let that suspicion linger around in his mind. He’s heard that one too many times.

“The only reason why I asked is because I want to make sure you’re safe.” He says softly.

“You’re sweet to care and worry, Bucky.” You smiled. “Those are my two favorite qualities I like in a man.” You say, sipping your drink.

“If someone is hurting you, I’d make sure that won’t happen ever again.” He says.

You knew what he meant when he said that. You also know he said it to protect you. That’s another quality you like in a man. You and Bucky are going to get along just fine.

You invited Bucky out for coffee the following morning. You walked in the coffee shop, smiling when you saw Bucky. You were so happy to see Bucky again that you didn’t notice the chair next to you and you ran into it. Bucky looked up from the newspaper he was reading to see you moving a chair out of your way.

“Are you ok?” Bucky asks.

“Yes. I just didn’t see the chair.” You say with a small giggle.

You gave Bucky a kiss on his cheek before ordering coffee and sat down at the table across from him. You crossed your leg over the other. Bucky found another bruise, but this time, on your shin. It’s a little bit bigger compared to the ones on your arm and shoulder.

“What happened to your leg?” Bucky asks, pointing at the bruise on your shin.

“I walked into a tow hitch on a pickup truck a couple days ago.” You tell him honestly.

The suspicion of something abusing you is still on his mind, but he also believes your honesty. It doesn’t hurt to be cautious and suspicious of something, right?

A few days later, Bucky asked you out on another date. He went over to your house to pick you up. You invited him inside while you finished up getting ready. Bucky looked around your house, admiring the pictures and decorations.

“I’m ready!” You announced with a smile.

Bucky smiles, admiring your beauty and outfit. He winces to himself as you walked into the doorframe, hitting your arm on it as you were walking out of your bedroom.

That looked like it hurt.” Bucky says.

“Only a little bit, but I’m ok.” You say.

“May I?” He asks softly.

You nodded. Bucky gently lifted your arm up to his lips, kissing the red mark that will soon be a bruise on the side of your arm. You couldn’t help but blush when he did that.

“You’re really sweet, you know that?” You say with a smile.

“I care about you is all, doll.” He says softly.

“I care about you too, Bucky.” You say in almost a whisper.

Bucky gently caressed your cheek and kissed you softly and sweetly. You put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. You’ve never been this mind blown by a kiss in your life.

“Woah…” You say, completely speechless when he pulled away.

Bucky smiles at the speechless expression on your face.

“You ready to go?” He asks softly.

“More than ready.” You answered with a smile.

When you and Bucky got to the restaurant, he’s starting to realize that you’re right about being a clumsy person. You almost walked into a table and he gently moved you away from it so you didn’t give yourself another bruise.

“Careful, doll.” Bucky whispers.

“I am being careful.” You say softly, kissing his cheek.

Over the next few weeks, you and Bucky went on dates every weekend. In those weeks, Bucky has been moving you away from things like tables or poles before you walked into them so you didn’t hurt yourself. Today, Bucky tagged along with you while you ran errands. Bucky swore he ages 10 years every time you run into something or almost run into something.

“Wanna get coffee?” You asked, pointing at the coffee shop across the street.

“Sure.” Bucky answers.

You and Bucky looked both ways before crossing the street. When you guys got to the other side of the street, you tripped over the curb and Bucky caught you before you fell.

“Are you ok, doll?” He asks softly.

“I am now.” You smiled up at him.

You guys went inside of the coffee shop. You somehow tripped over your own feet. Bucky grabbed your arm before you fell.

“I think it’s time to go home.” He says.

“But I want coffee.” You pouted.

You pouting is one of Bucky’s many weaknesses. He can’t say no to you when you pout.

“Ok, fine.” He gives in.

You squeaked softly and kissed his cheek. To keep you from running into anything, Bucky put his hands on your waist and guided you to the counter to order coffee. You two got coffee and then went home.

“You know what to do, doll.” Bucky says.

Bucky now kisses every bruise you get. You took your -Bucky’s- sweatshirt off and rolled your pant legs up, revealing the few bruises you got over the past couple days. You smiled as you watched him kiss each bruise on your arms softly. You then sat down on the couch and he crouched down in front of you and kissed the couple bruises you have on your legs and one on your knee.

“I love how much you care about me.” You say softly, running your fingers through his hair.

“It’s part of my job as your boyfriend to care about you, doll.” Bucky says, sitting down next to you on the couch.

“You want to be my boyfriend?” You asked.

“Only if you want to be my girlfriend.” He says.

“I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend, Bucky.” You say with a smile.

Bucky smiles and kisses you. The kiss got heated quickly. You two fell back against the couch. He put his weight on his forearms so he didn’t crush you. You wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you.

“You know, I don’t mind if you lay on top of me.” You say.

“I know. I just don’t want to hurt you in any way.” He says.

“You can never hurt me, baby.” You almost whispered, running your fingers through his hair.

“I just want to be cautious.” He says.

“I’m not made of glass, you know.” You say.

“I know.” He mumbles softly. “I love you so much and don’t like seeing you get hurt.” He says.

“I love you too.” You pecked his lips softly. “I won’t mind if you’re a little bit rough with me in the bedroom.” You say seductively.

Bucky leans his forehead against your shoulder and groans softly, dirty thought flowing into his mind.

“There’s safe words for a reason, baby.” You whispered in his ear.

A shiver went down his spine when you kissed just below his ear, a soft moan leaving his lips.

“Fuck…” Bucky moans softly.

Bucky stood up and picked you up, carrying you to the bedroom. An excited squeal left your lips. He gently laid you down on the bed and got on top of you.

“You’ll use a safe word if I’m too rough on you?” He asks just to be sure, rubbing the tops of your thighs.

“Yes.” You answered with a smile.

“You’re in for a long night, babydoll.” He almost whispers.

“Bring it on, baby.” You say softly, bitting your bottom lip.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[omgshiftercat]

Credit where it’s due: Edmund Spenser, way back in the sixteenth century, portrayed Lust as a gross dude in The Faerie Queene.

But this did get me thinking: what might the Seven Deadly Sins look like if, instead of simply embodying their sin, they were designed to elicit that sin?

Wrath is primarily a talk-radio host, though he also publishes his rants in book and blog format. He whips his audience into a fury against a host of enemies, some obvious, others ill-defined. On social media, he commands a veritable army of internet trolls. His followers are both sore losers and sore winners: as long as dissenters exist, they cannot consider themselves victorious. And that will never happen, because Wrath is always ready to point out a new enemy.

Gluttony looks like a kindly grandmother. Everything that comes out of her kitchen looks, tastes, and smells absolutely delicious, so it hardly seems like a burden when she chivvies you to eat, even when you’re already full. But she always makes far too much, and throws out all of her leftovers. Meals that could have fed a soup kitchen for a week congeal in a dumpster outside, crawling with maggots.

Avarice is a corporate lobbyist. He convinces the rich that they owe the public nothing, and the poor that they are but temporarily embarrassed millionaires. At his smiling suggestion, laws restricting businesses’ power are jettisoned, or else rendered powerless. He speaks of “the free market” as though it were a wise and benevolent deity, though he has also been known to argue Social Darwinism and Prosperity Gospel without even pausing for breath.

Vanity is a motivational speaker. She tells her audiences that they are all especially gifted and deserve everything they want—they just have to focus on it really hard. Anyone who tells them that they’re being selfish, or evading other responsibilities, is just dragging them down; anyone to whom bad things happen brought it on themselves by being so negative. Her Facebook page shares a lot of pseudoscience and conspiracy theory, framing believers as smarter than the masses.

Sloth comes off as a good-natured stoner. He’s always happy to share his shabby couch and his coffee-table covered with game controllers, TV remotes, and an endless assortment of substances to drink, smoke, or inject. Schoolwork can wait. Tell your boss you’re sick again. Someone else’ll do the other stuff. Just take it easy. Don’t be a buzzkill.

Envy runs a string of popular magazines. The cover models are Photoshopped into impossible beauty; the ads feature products well out of most readers’ price range. The text portions contain “health plans” that are recipes for failure, celebrity gossip that is by turns fawning and venomous, and advice columns warning against “man-stealers” or “girl-stealers”.

Lust is a pick-up artist. He doesn’t simply advocate promiscuity, but employs an entire dialect encouraging straight men to think of women as objects to be evaluated, used, and discarded. Though his focus is primarily on heterosexual males, he also argues that it’s “naturally masculine” for gay men to treat their partners in a similar fashion.

When it comes to artistic personification of the deadly sins, Lust is usually the ONLY ONE ever designed to be the OBJECT of the sin rather than the sinner. Greed? They tend to design some one who LOOKS greedy. Sloth? Lazy person. A lot of these design choices kinda reveal how the creator views people in general (wow you made Gluttony or Greed fat, how original, so groundbreaking) but LUST? Lust is usually just… a hot chick. Who makes OTHERS lust but she herself often isn't running around acting inappropriately horny or anything. She's just kinda there. Maybe a bit flirty but otherwise the whole intent is to make the AUDIENCE feel attraction and that's how they associate it with lust. The Greed character won't make the viewer feel greedy but by god with Lust this is all we GOT. (Before you ask, I only half-count the FMA versions of these characters since they had these names but their origins were more complicated than Being Literal Sins)

I want all or nothin' here. Make the personifications ALL like Lust, maybe! Make it so their designs are only hinting at these things but the MAIN THING they can do is make OTHERS feel these things. Greed? He's a crypto guy who can manipulate people into screwing over others for easy cash. Sloth? The dude commenting "lol who cares, no one cares, just chill" at even the most horrible tragedies in the news (We can also change this one to Apathy and throw THAT deadly sin in, I just like that concept as a sin), make Wrath a reactionary podcaster or something. Make them make OTHERS sin.

Or, go the other way, and have them all LOOK like the sinners, and include Lust IN THAT. Just design some gooner who hasn't seen a real woman in six weeks and comments on every selfie they see online judging them for not looking like an anime waifu.

COMMIT TO THE BIT, PEOPLE, this mixed-up message is WEAK

[t00tsmcgee]

Rook as a companion banter episode six: Emmrich

Banter written with my Rook in mind. Read more about him here.

Part 1 (Neve) | Part 2 (Bellara) | Part 3 (Davrin) | Part 4 (Harding) | Part 5 (Taash) | Part 6 (Emmrich) | Part 7 (Lucanis) |

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Emmrich: “So, Calais is it?” Calais: “You can call me Cal if you want, professor.” Emmrich: “Then I must insist you call me Emmrich.” Calais: “That will be strange, after having attended so many of your lectures.” Emmrich: “We are peers now, Cal.” Calais: “I suppose we are, Emmrich.”

Emmrich: “So Vorgoth raised you?” Calais: “Yes, I call him dad and everything.” Emmrich: “Strange to think of Vorgoth in that capacity.” Calais: “He’s a good father. Never pushed me too hard, let me make my own mistakes but was always there when I needed him. I owe him a great deal.” Emmrich: “I’m sure he’s very proud of you. He has every reason to be."

Emmrich: “So help me picture Vorgoth as a father of a very young Calais.” Calais: “He loves to talk about the time I was learning how to walk and waddled off into the forbidden section of the Necropolis library. He didn’t think I’d learn to walk so fast and so well. But I had help from a spirit.” Emmrich: “A spirit?” Calais: “Yes, a spirit of curiosity. She appeared to me as an old lady when I was little. She helped me walk by holding my hands and keeping me upright. I called her Nana.” Emmrich: “That’s incredible.” Calais: “Vorgoth didn’t like her much.”

Emmrich: “Why did Vorgoth not like that spirit? Nana, you called her?” Calais: *chuckling* “She was mischievous. That time I waddled off I was lost in the forbidden section for an hour before Vorgoth found me. I was only wee, so eventually my crying alerted him to my location.” Emmrich: “I do envy you, you know. Being able to talk to spirits like that.” Calais: “It has it’s perks. And its downfalls. But Nana always made me laugh.” Emmrich: “What happened to her?” Calais: “Nothing, she still roams the Necropolis. But she doesn’t visit me as much any more. She responds more to younger people, likes to guide them. But we do talk, occasionally. She tells me to mind my posture and eat more fruit.”

Emmrich: “Tell me another story of when you got into trouble with Nana.” Calais: “One time she helped me steal the cookie jar from the ration chamber. She distracted the watcher, and I snuck in to get it.” Emmrich: “Did Vorgoth find out?” Calais: “What do you take me for? Of course not. Myrna did though.” Emmrich: “What did she do?” Calais: “I bribed her with half the cookies. Vorgoth will never know.”

Calais: “This place (the lighthouse) is amazing. It’s so well crafted, so intricately woven into the fade.” Emmrich: “Isn’t it? The resonator in the main hall holds it all together so expertly.” Calais: “And it’s so in tune with it’s inhabitants. I discovered a whole section of books I’ve always wanted to read the other day, books that I’d never be able to get otherwise.” Emmrich: “Oh, which books are those?” Calais: “Captivating Hearts, Exquisite Encounters, Conflicted Yearning..” Emmrich: “I’ve.. never heard of those. Dare I ask what subject they cover?” Calais: “Stormy romances between beautiful people.” Emmrich: “I see.” Lucanis: “I would like to borrow them, when you are done with them, of course.”

Emmrich: “You’re a fan of romance literature then?” Calais: “I think tacking the descriptor of ‘literature’ on these books is perhaps a tad generous.” Emmrich: “I’m surprised you’re not a bit more interested in the more scientific books, given our shared profession.” Calais: “I read anatomy books all the time.” Emmrich: “Oh, pardon me. I never saw any in your bookcase.” Calais: “They’re all open on the coffee table so I can use them as reference for my paintings.” Emmrich: *fondly* “Of course.”

Emmrich: “Have you read the thesis of Lucian Herreford? It contains some very interesting theories about the weight of the human soul and about what happens beyond the mortal veil.” Calais: “No.” Emmrich: “What about the catalogue of death magics, by Viuus Anaxas?” Calais: “Eh.” Emmrich: “I’d consider that book a must read for every Mourn watcher. Did Vorgoth not give you homework to read, growing up?” Calais: “He certainly tried.” Emmrich: “I gather you didn’t care much for it. I’m surprised Vorgoth wasn’t more insistent.” Calais: “If you take issue with his parenting, I suggest you talk to him instead.”

Emmrich: “I asked Vorgoth about what we discussed.” Calais: “Oh? What did he say?” Emmrich: “That you were always easily distracted, especially when made to read subjects of a rather dry nature. So he instead took to reading them to you.” Calais: “He has a voice you can’t ignore.” Emmrich: “Are you really so easily distracted?” Calais: “I thought about five other things in the space of this conversation. Most of them involved my rats. And one was how I’m kind of craving ice cream.” Emmrich: “Huh.”

Calais: “Hey Emmrich, thanks for that talk the other day. It really helped.” Emmrich: “You’re most welcome. I enjoyed the time spent together. You’re far more talented than you give yourself credit for.” Rook: “What’s this?” Calais: “I’m training corpse whispering with Emmrich. He figured I could learn, given my talent to speak with spirits.” Emmrich: “He’s a quick study. A joy to have in class.” Calais: *laughing* “Well don’t say that, now I sound like a teacher’s pet!”

Calais: “I’m still trying to figure out how the particles respond to your intricate weaving pattern. I can’t get it down.” Emmrich: “It took me years to perfect. I’d be concerned if you mastered it straight away.” Calais: “You don’t understand, if I’m not immediately good at something, my inside voice tells me to just quit because I’ll never be any good at it, obviously.” Emmrich: “I believe we discussed what we say to this voice.” Calais: *Noise of agreement* “Shut up, Leonard.”

Emmrich: “You look troubled Calais.” Calais: “Leonard’s talking a lot these days.” Emmrich: “Ah. An unpleasant fellow, that Leonard. I don’t like him.” Calais: “Me neither. But I can’t shut him up today.” Emmrich: “I have a ritual I need to complete later, you’re welcome to come along.” Calais: “Alright. It can’t hurt. And maybe the distraction will keep Leonard quiet.” Emmrich: “Let’s hope so. If not, we can at least ignore him while we talk and tend to the dead.”

Calais: *shuddering and heavy breathing for a few seconds* Emmrich: “I recognize that expression. Are you alright?” Calais: *deep sigh* “Yeah. You know, just my crippling anxiety suddenly rising to the surface. No big deal. I’m good. I’m fine. This is fine.” Emmrich: “Deep breaths, feel your feet on the ground, feel how it anchors you. The soil tethers you to this world.” Calais: “Deep breaths, deep breaths..”*Inhales and exhales deeply. “Right. I’m here.” Emmrich: “I have smelling salt if you need it.” Calais: “You’re kind, Emmrich. I’m fine now. Thank you.” Emmrich: “You’re welcome, Calais. I know all too well how it feels.”