#he didnt deserve to hear some of the mildly angry things i said in the moment.
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I’ve been journaling about the same thing for so many days in a row. I haven’t done this since I was anxious about being in college. It’s really weighing on my heart and writing is the only way I can seem to get it out of me. Idk why, whenever sad things happen I just bury myself in so much shame until I convince myself again and again and again that it wasn’t my fault.
#not that im putting all the blame on anyone else either its just kinda how things happened#only thing i wish i had done differently was to handle him with more grace and compassion.#he didnt deserve to hear some of the mildly angry things i said in the moment.#i told him i never want to hear from him again which isnt even true in the slightest.#but i think id better just completely leave him alone for now to avoid making things worse#agh. the agony#i journaled about this for over 2 hours this morning lol
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