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callie-the-snarky-geek-blog · 6 years ago

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RvB16 Episode 13 Review: A Time For Hammers

(Old Blog Repost)

After thirteen episodes, Joe is FINALLY being merciful and giving us some exposition. THANK YOU RT GODS! Okay, so we’re nearing the end here people. What awaits us next? Let us find out!

Overview

Atlus does indeed give us an exposition dump. I know that some hate exposition, but at this point it is SORELY needed. So to put it simply, in the beginning there was nothing until time expanded and then came the father of the Cosmic Powers, Chrovos. Which still relates to Greek Myth as the inspiration, Krovos, was the King of the Titans and father of Zeus, Hera, and several others. Oh, he also would eat his kids… mythology is very messed up. Chrovos, who has power over time, created the Cosmic Powers and had them enslaved to do his bidding. WELL THEN. They claim to not know what the entire plan was however, only their part in it.

The Cosmic Powers however ultimately rebelled against Chrovos and the Titans, the majority killed and the rest imprisoned. The Cosmic Powers created a labyrinth within a black hole and in the center is a treadmill that they tricked him onto. So he is walking in place forever in one spot… Joe you totally stole that from Ten Little Roosters, didn’t you? Before things go any further, Sarge interrupts to ask why Grif of all people has a sword. Because he deserved it Sarge, shut up! But yeah now everyone (except Carolina) wants one so Atlus allows it… except Caboose. He wants Genkins golf club! It is what he deserves. Wash tries to ask the Cosmic Powers if they’ll relieve his headache as well, but Atlus confirms that they can’t alter the mind directly. They exist more to alter the minds of other races. So they can create physical manifestations and external forces, but otherwise they are limited in what they can do.

Before Atlus can get away from that subject, Simmons has an ‘aha’ moment. So there’s been a lot of speculation about what the Cosmic Powers are exact;y. Are they actual Gods? Aliens? AI’s? Well Simmons finally figures it out. My friends, the Cosmic Powers are indeed AI. The Reds and Blues protection? A protective firewall that prevents that Chrovos created to keep them in check’. Their current forms? Hologram projections that Chrovos setup to have them look the part of Gods to manipulate other races. The limitations? It was what Chrovos programmed into them. That’s my boy Simmons! So yea, the COsmic Powers send Huggins and Muggins away and confirm the truth. They are indeed AI, placed into devices that look a LOOT like the one that Epsilon was put into during the Recollection Trilogy.

With that out of the way, back to the exposition. So while he’s weak, Chrovos isn’t powerless. He used his power to cause a human to create a time machine, causing a leak in time. So yeah, the time machine last season? That came to be due to Chrovos. The leak gave Chrovos enough power to zap Donut and pull him into a time where he was much stronger, manipulating him into thinking that he was God before sending him back to the present with the time guns to put his plan into motion. Oh and during this, the guys say some… rather insensitive remarks about Donut. Remember this for the end my friends.

So yeah, the Reds and Blues have damaged the blocks of time and it’s apparently too late to fix it. Chrovos now has the chance to be free and time is going to topple over. There is one hope however, and that is for the Reds and Blues to go to Chrovos directly. To do this, they have to go into the labyrinth and fight through all of the forces guarding him and use a weapon made of the same material that keeps him imprisoned: The Hammer. Huh… simple name. I like it! Anywho, The Hammer will reinforce the bindings keeping Chrovos at bay, he’ll be unable to get out again, and time will be saved! You know, if they just went to them with that in the first place instead of sicing Gus… I mean the cyclops on them, we could have avoided this…

The Cosmic Powers send the Reds and Blues to another part of Starseat to let them make a decision. Oh and he also takes the swords back… except Grif’s! My boy gets to keep it! Hooray!!! Anyways, our heroes talk their options over. Simmons suggest they just go back and stop themselves from time traveling to begin with… but Carolina beings up that doing that will likely cause a paradox like Jax already said. So yeah, that’s out. Wash tries to rally the guys to go for it, pointing out that they did their best but in the end failing is the only way that they can knwo that they sucked and get better. Time traveling is not going to do anything to make it better. All that they’ve been doing is trying to relieve quilt or avoid responsibility, but the past is the past. They have to be better now because that is what matters.

Tucker argues this a little but, saying that it’s selfish to not time travel and fix their mistakes, like say… when Wash hurt people back int he day. But Wash counters that mistakes make you who you are and when you make one, you need to fix it and grow from it. This gets at least the Reds and Caboose to agree that giving up the guns is the right thing to do and Wahs even says that he’ll be with the Rdds and Blues to fight alongside them. Aww, what a nice moment! It is so swe… something’s going to fuck it up, isn’t it?

Yep. The speech causes Carolina to feel guilty about her recent decisions and she tells Wash that no, he won’t be fighting with them. The two Freelancers argue, Carolina telling Wash that he’s disableled with him arguing against it. But Carolina finally breaks the news to him. When Wash got shot in the neck back in S15 EP17, it cut off oxygen to the brain. It was only for a few minutes, but that was enough to inflict brain damage. It is why Wash is having his memory lapses, he has a condition known as Cerebal Hypoxia, a brain injury. While the significance of the damage is still undetermined, the memory lapses alone are enough to make Carolina unwilling to let Wash fight ever again.

Wash… doesn’t take it well. He snaps. Like IDT he’s ever been this angry. He snaps at the Reds and Blues, asking if they knew. They say that thy didn’t with Carolina confirming that she kept it from everyone, so they’re just as shocked as Wash is about this. Wash calms down, but is clearly hurt that Carolina would keep something that massive a secret from him. Carolina tries to explain how she didn’t want to upset him, but Wash just walks away as she struggles to find the words. Everyone is left in shock. Even Caboose wounded more well… normal sounding than usual. Damn man, just… damn.

So how can things get worst after that? Well… remember when I mentioned the guys making those insensitive comment about Donut? Well that was ultimately the last straw for him. He takes the hammer, opening up a portal and telling the others that all that they said made his choice all the easier to make. He enters the portal, heading back to Chrovos. Well… Genkins warned us that the pink one would steal the hammer. He was not kidding…

Review

Well… we were all waiting for the plot bomb to hit… and here it is… and it has left only devastation in it’s wake.

Alright, before we dive into the last few minutes, lets talk Cosmic Gods and Chrovos. So first, THEY’RE NOT REAL GODS GUYS! THEY WERE DESIGNED THAT WAY TO MANIPULATE OTHER RACES! NO REAL MAGIC OR GOD-LIKE THINGS! THEY’RE AI. WE CAN FINAlLY PUT THAT TO REST!

Okay, got that out of my system! But yeah, the Cosmic Powers are indeed highly advanced and powerful AI, kept in a device similar to the one Church was in during Recollection. Which kudos to Joe for bringing that back in! It’s something I love about this series, it always finds ways to bring back minor or even just dumb things and make them significant. But yeah, while it does beg the question on what Chrovos is (an alien? Another AI? Something else?), it is VERY relieving to have this revelation especially since there’s been quite a few people… mixed about them being Gods to put it light;y. It’s also good that there ARE some limitations, like they can’t brainwash anyone or directly affect the brain for example. They can only manipulate things externally.

This helps make sense of a lot of things. The God theme is to cause others to worship them and obey their will. Chances are Huggins and Muggins’ species were one of those races… so it’s hard to say how well they’ll take it when/if this comes out. It makes sense they they just role with it and live up to it, it’s in their programming. Like this explains a LOOOT of things… aside form the cyclops unless there’s just an alien species that look like cyclops that exist. Which I’m not going to call impossible. Hell, that would be awesome! But yeah, this episode answered a lot but kept plenty of things open, like what Chrovos’ true reasons for making the AI were and keeps the Cosmic Powers in a… morally grey area. Like they seemed like they turned on him because he limited their power and whether they’re being honest about not knowing their creator’s true intentions is very debatable. So they’re not 100% good or trustworthy, but currently the Lesser Evil. So that’s good!

Alright, so… lets get to… Donut! Yes, I’m stalling, but it’s still important. Because this episode, as well as the past two with him in it, have done an excellent job setting up his current state. During the past 16 seasons, Donut has always been kin of the butt of the joke. Gullible. Naive. A joke with a good throwing arm who is mostly forgotten. Now tbf part of this is due to Dan Godwin not always being available so RT had to limit him, but in-canon it doesn’t help. Which kudos to Dan Godwin BTW. He nailed the hurt in Donut’s tone as he repeated the insults really well. He hasn’t really gotten to emote much as Donut outside being happy, so it is SO GOOD to hear him get to use a broader range. But yeah, while Donut is absolutely making the wrong choice here, you feel nothing but sympathy for him. Because we have seen how he’s belittled by the others, some of us for years. I’d say it’s a better version of what we got with Doc last year since this time we got to see Donut express how frustrated he was and Chrovos manipulate him into his current emotional state. Very well done.

And I can’t avoid it anymore. Lets talk about Wash. First, the good to hold it off just a tad bit longer. I really loved his speech. It speaks a lot about the theme of this season to me. The theme seems to be that no matter what you do or how you try, you can’t fix the past and you shouldn’t fix the past. The past is what shapes you into the person that you are meant to be. Instead of focusing on what you could have done or what you would do, you should focus on what you can do now. In the present. That is the time that matters. Coming from Wash after everything before, ti was so good to hear. And it’s true at least to me. Something I live by is something that Monty Oum coined before, “keep moving forward”. You can’t focus on the past, you just have to continue on. So hearing this… it really resonated with me.

But of course that all gets fucked up with Carolina choosing the WORST moment to feel bad and tell the truth. Look Carolina, I’m glad they you decided to finally tell Wash the truth, but this was the WORST possible time woman! Still yeah… Wash’s reaction was completely justified. Snapping at the others was harsh, but him being that angry? That hurt that Carolina would hide that he was brain damaged? That… that is a big deal. After everything, all the trust that they had built, Carolina both hid things from him and lied to him. Yes, it is understandable why Carolina was afraid to tell him. I feel a LOT of sympathy for her because I’ve dealt with a relative having a bad memory, and it is a terrible experience. She clearly regretted it and she sounded like she was outright trying to not cry. Jen Brown did such a fantastic job, as did Shannon McCormick with the raw emotion he had to use for Wash.

But as bad as I feel for Carolina, she made a huge mistake. She hid a serious condition away from her friend. She lied to him about the state of his condition. And then she chose to tell him during a serious situation that could decide the fate of time itself. Wash had been really happy and even fooling around before this, which makes seeing him so hurt all the more painful. Things can never be like they were before and now he’s likely going to have trust issues with Carolina. What’s going to happen now? I honestly have no idea. IDT it’s going to be resolved this season, that much I know. but yeah, it’s… it’s hard. I was about ready to cry when Carolina struggled to explain everything, especially as Wash just… walked away. It hurt.

Final Thoughts

This was an absolutely fantastic episode. The exposition was good and made sense, the humor was on point, and the emotional scenes were just… man I don’t think I have words. Joe did an excellent job writing them. Well guys, two episodes left to go. I am more uncertain of what’s going to happen than I have been all season. But I can safely say that whatever Joe is going to throw at us, I’ll be here for it.

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb reviews #old blog repost

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calliecat93 · 7 years ago

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RvB16 Episode 13 Review: A Time for Hammers

After thirteen episodes, Joe is FINALLY being merciful and giving us some exposition. THANK YOU RT GODS! Okay, so we’re nearing the end here people. What awaits us next? Let us find out!

Overview

Atlus does indeed give us an exposition dump. I know that some hate exposition, but at this point it is SORELY needed. So to put it simply, in the beginning there was nothing until time expanded and then came the father of the Cosmic Powers, Chrovos. Which still relates to Greek Myth as the inspiration, Krovos, was the King of the Titans and father of Zeus, Hera, and several others. Oh, he also would eat his kids... mythology is very messed up. Chrovos, who has power over time, created the Cosmic Powers and had them enslaved to do his bidding. WELL THEN. They claim to not know what the entire plan was however, only their part in it.

The Cosmic Powers however ultimately rebelled against Chrovos and the Titans, the majority killed and the rest imprisoned. The Cosmic Powers created a labyrinth within a black hole and in the center is a treadmill that they tricked him onto. So he is walking in place forever in one spot... Joe you totally stole that from Ten Little Roosters, didn’t you? Before things go any further, Sarge interrupts to ask why Grif of all people has a sword. Because he deserved it Sarge, shut up! But yeah now everyone (except Carolina) wants one so Atlus allows it... except Caboose. He wants Genkins golf club! It is what he deserves. Wash tries to ask the Cosmic Powers if they’ll relieve his headache as well, but Atlus confirms that they can’t alter the mind directly. They exist more to alter the minds of other races. So they can create physical manifestations and external forces, but otherwise they are limited in what they can do.

With that out of the way, back to the exposition. So while he’s weak, Chrovos isn’t powerless. He used his power to cause a human to create a time machine, causing a leak in time. So yeah, the time machine last season? That came to be due to Chrovos. The leak gave Chrovos enough power to zap Donut and pull him into a time where he was much stronger, manipulating him into thinking that he was God before sending him back to the present with the time guns to put his plan into motion. Oh and during this, the guys say some... rather insensitive remarks about Donut. Remember this for the end my friends.

So yeah, the Reds and Blues have damaged the blocks of time and it’s apparently too late to fix it. Chrovos now has the chance to be free and time is going to topple over. There is one hope however, and that is for the Reds and Blues to go to Chrovos directly. To do this, they have to go into the labyrinth and fight through all of the forces guarding him and use a weapon made of the same material that keeps him imprisoned: The Hammer. Huh... simple name. I like it! Anywho, The Hammer will reinforce the bindings keeping Chrovos at bay, he’ll be unable to get out again, and time will be saved! You know, if they just went to them with that in the first place instead of sicing Gus... I mean the cyclops on them, we could have avoided this...

The Cosmic Powers send the Reds and Blues to another part of Starseat to let them make a decision. Oh and he also takes the swords back... except Grif’s! My boy gets to keep it! Hooray!!! Anyways, our heroes talk their options over. Simmons suggest they just go back and stop themselves from time traveling to begin with... but Carolina beings up that doing that will likely cause a paradox like Jax already said. So yeah, that’s out. Wash tries to rally the guys to go for it, pointing out that they did their best but in the end failing is the only way that they can knwo that they sucked and get better. Time traveling is not going to do anything to make it better. All that they’ve been doing is trying to relieve quilt or avoid responsibility, but the past is the past. They have to be better now because that is what matters.

Tucker argues this a little but, saying that it’s selfish to not time travel and fix their mistakes, like say... when Wash hurt people back int he day. But Wash counters that mistakes make you who you are and when you make one, you need to fix it and grow from it. This gets at least the Reds and Caboose to agree that giving up the guns is the right thing to do and Wahs even says that he’ll be with the Rdds and Blues to fight alongside them. Aww, what a nice moment! It is so swe... something’s going to fuck it up, isn’t it?

Wash... doesn't take it well. He snaps. Like IDT he’s ever been this angry. He snaps at the Reds and Blues, asking if they knew. They say that thy didn’t with Carolina confirming that she kept it from everyone, so they’re just as shocked as Wash is about this. Wash calms down, but is clearly hurt that Carolina would keep something that massive a secret from him. Carolina tries to explain how she didn’t want to upset him, but Wash just walks away as she struggles to find the words. Everyone is left in shock. Even Caboose wounded more well... normal sounding than usual. Damn man, just... damn.

So how can things get worst after that? Well... remember when I mentioned the guys making those insensitive comment about Donut? Well that was ultimately the last straw for him. He takes the hammer, opening up a portal and telling the others that all that they said made his choice all the easier to make. He enters the portal, heading back to Chrovos. Well... Genkins warned us that the pink one would steal the hammer. He was not kidding...

Review

Well... we were all waiting for the plot bomb to hit... and here it is... and it has left only devastation in it’s wake.

Okay, got that out of my system! But yeah, the Cosmic Powers are indeed highly advanced and powerful AI, kept in a device similar to the one Church was in during Recollection. Which kudos to Joe for bringing that back in! It’s something I love about this series, it always finds ways to bring back minor or even just dumb things and make them significant. But yeah, while it does beg the question on what Chrovos is (an alien? Another AI? Something else?), it is VERY relieving to have this revelation especially since there’s been quite a few people... mixed about them being Gods to put it light;y. It’s also good that there ARE some limitations, like they can’t brainwash anyone or directly affect the brain for example. They can only manipulate things externally.

This helps make sense of a lot of things. The God theme is to cause others to worship them and obey their will. Chances are Huggins and Muggins’ species were one of those races... so it’s hard to say how well they’ll take it when/if this comes out. It makes sense they they just role with it and live up to it, it’s in their programming. Like this explains a LOOOT of things... aside form the cyclops unless there’s just an alien species that look like cyclops that exist. Which I’m not going to call impossible. Hell, that would be awesome! But yeah, this episode answered a lot but kept plenty of things open, like what Chrovos’ true reasons for making the AI were and keeps the Cosmic Powers in a... morally grey area. Like they seemed like they turned on him because he limited their power and whether they’re being honest about not knowing their creator’s true intentions is very debatable. So they’re not 100% good or trustworthy, but currently the Lesser Evil. So that’s good!

Alright, so... lets get to... Donut! Yes, I’m stalling, but it’s still important. Because this episode, as well as the past two with him in it, have done an excellent job setting up his current state. During the past 16 seasons, Donut has always been kin of the butt of the joke. Gullible. Naive. A joke with a good throwing arm who is mostly forgotten. Now tbf part of this is due to Dan Godwin not always being available so RT had to limit him, but in-canon it doesn't help. Which kudos to Dan Godwin BTW. He nailed the hurt in Donut’s tone as he repeated the insults really well. He hasn't really gotten to emote much as Donut outside being happy, so it is SO GOOD to hear him get to use a broader range. But yeah, while Donut is absolutely making the wrong choice here, you feel nothing but sympathy for him. Because we have seen how he’s belittled by the others, some of us for years. I’d say it’s a better version of what we got with Doc last year since this time we got to see Donut express how frustrated he was and Chrovos manipulate him into his current emotional state. Very well done.

And I can't avoid it anymore. Lets talk about Wash. First, the good to hodl it off just a tad bit longer. I really loved his speech. It speaks a lot about the theme of this season to me. The theme seems to be that no matter what you do or how you try, you can't fix the past and you shouldn’t fix the past. The past is what shapes you into the person that you are meant to be. Instead of focusing on what you could have done or what you would do, you should focus on what you can do now. In the present. That is the time that matters. Coming from Wash after everything before, ti was so good to hear. And it’s true at least to me. Something I live by is something that Monty Oum coined before, “keep moving forward”. You can’t focus on the past, you just have to continue on. So hearing this... it really resonated with me.

But of course that all gets fucked up with Carolina choosing the WORST moment to feel bad and tell the truth. Look Carolina, I’m glad they you decided to finally tell Wash the truth, but this was the WORST possible time woman! Still yeah... Wash’s reaction was completely justified. Snapping at the others was harsh, but him being that angry? That hurt that Carolina would hide that he was brain damaged? That... that is a big deal. After everything, all the trust that they had built, Carolina both hid things from him and lied to him. Yes, it is understandable why Carolina was afraid to tell him. I feel a LOT of sympathy for her because I’ve dealt with a relative having a bad memory, and it is a terrible experience. She clearly regretted it and she sounded like she was outright trying to not cry. Jen Brown did such a fantastic job, as did Shannon McCormick with the raw emotion he had to use for Wash.

But as bad as I feel for Carolina, she made a huge mistake. She hid a serious condition away from her friend. She lied to him about the state of his condition. And then she chose to tell him during a serious situation that could decide the fate of time itself. Wash had been really happy and even fooling around before this, which makes seeing him so hurt all the more painful. Things can never be like they were before and now he’s likely going to have trust issues with Carolina. What’s going to happen now? I honestly have no idea. IDT it’s going to be resolved this season, that much I know. but yeah, it’s... it’s hard. I was about ready to cry when Carolina struggled to explain everything, especially as Wash just... walked away. It hurt.

Final Thoughts

This was an absolutely fantastic episode. The exposition was good and made sense, the humor was on point, and the emotional scenes were just... man I don’t think I have words. Joe did an excellent job writing them. Well guys, two episodes left to go. I am more uncertain of what’s going to happen than I have been all season. But I can safely say that whatever Joe is going to throw at us, I’ll be here for it.

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb16 spoilers #rvb reviews

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latestnews2018-blog · 6 years ago

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There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than 20-Year-Old Ronald Acuña's Majestic Homers

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/there-were-zero-things-better-this-week-than-20-year-old-ronald-acunas-majestic-homers/

There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than 20-Year-Old Ronald Acuña's Majestic Homers

Welcome to Good Stuff, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet.

To try to enjoy baseball today is to face a constant barrage of reminders ― from baseball’s brass, from baseball’s press, from baseball fans and people who very much want you to know that they are not baseball fans ― that there is something existentially wrong with America’s pastime. It is boring and dated and not worth watching. But every now and then, someone like Ronald Acuña comes along to remind you that baseball is, in fact, good.

Acuña, a 20-year-old Atlanta Braves rookie, has been one of the most exciting young players in baseball this year. But his true breakthrough came only this week, when Acuña opened each of Atlanta’s first three games against the Miami Marlins with home runs. Two of them came Monday, when Acuña opened both games of a doubleheader with home runs. Then he woke up Tuesday and decided to do it again.

They were majestic shots, all of them, each leaving the yard faster, higher and harder than the one before it, and it was a record-breaking streak: The Venezuelan is the youngest player to hit leadoff bombs in three straight games, the youngest to hit homers in five straight games since 1908, the youngest this and the youngest that in all sorts of categories now. Tuesday night, he added another one, a three-run shot that sealed another Braves win.

He’s the new face of the franchise in Atlanta, but, along with players like Washington’s Juan Soto, he’s also one of the new, fresh faces of baseball as a whole. And he plays the game with the sort of electric exuberance sports should elicit from all of us, even if we aren’t all blessed with the talent that allows us to express that joy through towering home runs, diving catches and stolen bases.

Baseball being baseball, that meant someone was going to take exception to his skill or his sheer funness or something. On Wednesday night, Marlins pitcher José Ureña decided there was no longer any point in trying to get Acuña out (a feat the Marlins had mostly failed to accomplish all week) and instead launched a 97 mile-per-hour fastball at the kid’s elbow. It was a cowardly play that drove Acuña from the game and could have ended his (and Atlanta’s) season, and Ureña was roundly criticized for the pitch. Still, his decision was also baseball’s most easily fixable problem illustrated. This game has, for whatever reason, a deep-rooted tendency for someone in or adjacent to it ― a pitcher, a columnist, even the commissioner ― to spend their time trying to convince everyone that the thing they like is actually bad.

Acuña, at least, won’t stand for it. On Thursday, he texted Atlanta’s manager to say he was ready to play, because even when baseball tries its hardest to be bad, people like Ronald Acuña are here to remind us that it’s not. ― Travis Waldron

“On the Road… In Trump Country”

Why are Americans so polarized? What really happened in the 2016 election? I’m leaving my liberal bubble to get some answers. pic.twitter.com/OClhEqRseC

— Jesse Brenneman (@Jesse_Brenneman) August 8, 2018

There was nothing better than radio producer Jesse Brenneman — formerly of WNYC — tweeting a video series about reaching across political and socioeconomic lines, “On the Road… In Trump Country.”

It’s a hilarious series of tweets in which Brenneman pokes fun at all the reporters who parachuted into “Trump Country” after the president was elected. There are a lot of garbage news reports that treat any locale outside of a metropolitan city as a peculiarity to be investigated for a few days and then left behind. Brenneman does exactly that, mostly without leaving his car, and the results are amazing. Read the entire thread. ― Andy Campbell

The First Movie In 25 Years To Feature An All-Asian Cast

This one may be obvious, but it has to be said: “Crazy Rich Asians” is a goddamn delight. This movie has it all: Really hot people! Stunning locales! Delicious-looking food porn! Red-carpet-worthy costumes! Extravagance that would be nauseating in real life but is super fun on screen! A biting joke about JFK airport! Awkwafina!

Also, it’s the first movie in 25 years (since “The Joy Luck Club”) that features an all-Asian cast and puts an Asian-American story at its center. So, seriously, go fill those theaters. ― Emma Gray

“Drowning” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Orchestral Version

🔥🔥🔥🔥 RT @soscrub_: A Boogie performing Drowning w/ a live orchestra 😳 pic.twitter.com/mxD17oAK3l

— Rory (@thisisrory) August 15, 2018

Bruh, this is majestic as fuck. The original song — “Drowning” by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie — is amazing in its own right, but hearing it slowed down, without the Auto-Tune, without Kodak Black and with an accompanying orchestra??? Biiiiiiiitch. I wanna shout. I wanna nod my head. I wanna crump. I wanna get active.

There’s something cathartic about hearing a trap beat glide over the graceful medley of cellos, pianos and violins. The song feels fleshed out, as if the more classical instruments have lifted it to be all it can be, all it was meant to be.

And to hear A Boogie rap “Bust down, bust down, bust down, bust down, bust down, bitch I’m drownin’” while that violin whines in the back??? This rendition of the song deserves a Grammy, OK? ― Julia Craven

A Bubble Man

I love New York so much. pic.twitter.com/Qb4TSnknpR

— Alexander Kaufman (@AlexCKaufman) August 15, 2018

Union Square is an egalitarian island in a sea of opulence, corporate chains and pied-à-terres owned by ultrarich foreigners and trust-fund schmucks who think Brooklyn is “too far.” The 6½-acre park, plaza and subway hub of Lower Manhattan serves as the venue for an affordable farmers market four days a week. On the other days, it’s a draw for street performers. Which brings me to the Bubble Man.

I don’t know the Bubble Man’s name, but he’s been a fixture in Union Square for over a decade. He shows up, usually on the west side of the park, with buckets of soapy water and a wand made of two broom-length sticks. Then he just produces bubbles endlessly while kids squeal and chase after them, trying to pop the shimmering little orbs before they float down and burst on the concrete.

When I left work Tuesday, I was exhausted. For some unclear reason, I woke up with my insecurities and feelings of inadequacy on full blast. To boot, my checking account suffered a stinging blow that morning when a handful of different travel and life expenses unexpectedly hit all at once. All I wanted was to go home to my apartment in Queens and curl up until I mustered the appetite to eat leftovers.

As I walked through the park to catch the N train home, the glint of bubbles caught my eye. I noticed a crowd gathered, so I walked over before descending into the subway. The kids were ecstatic, exhaling a chorus of “whoas,” “wows,” and “awesomes” as they scurried around in pursuit of bubbles. Parents and onlookers from all different backgrounds watched, phones out, capturing videos and photos. It was such a raw, uplifting moment, and a wonderful reminder that this city’s real wealth is in its public spaces. ― Alexander Kaufman

The Great Mayonnaise Debate

Last weekend, Sandy Hingston published a piece in Philadelphia magazine titled “How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise,” a 2,300-word diatribe apparently inspired by a few people not eating her potato salad at Fourth of July barbecues anymore.

The slightly tongue-in-cheek piece offered no real evidence that millennials had actually killed America’s most popular condiment (at least as of 2014), save for her wicked young daughter, a women’s and gender studies major who “naturally” “loathes mayonnaise” (by comparison, Jake, the “practical” and “good son,” loves Sandy’s macaroni salad, thank you very much).

And so it was that Hingston set off a predictably fierce and inarguably trivial internet debate about (A) if mayonnaise is good and (B) whether millennials killed it. The entire situation was wholly idiotic. It lasted way too long, and I loved every second of it. The episode reminded me of a simpler time on the internet, when my days and nights weren’t filled with thoughts of Nazis, incels, Russian bots and Roger Stone. And so I say: Bring back the asinine internet debates of yesteryear! I’ll watch people debate literally anything dumb. Ketchup? Sure. Avocados? Fine, whatever. You want to debate laundry detergent. I’ll debate laundry detergent. Please, I need this. I need this so bad. Help me. Please. And for the record, mayonnaise is bad. ― Maxwell Strachan

Pop’s New Pansexual Anthem

British-Japanese pop princess Rina Sawayama released her new single, “Cherry,” this week, a bubbly pop bop in which she gushes over a new crush who is… dun dun dun… a girl!

“Down the subway, you looked my way / With your girl gaze, with your girl gaze / That was the day everything changed / Now it’s something else.”

Sawayama, who identifies as pansexual, explores the electric experience of desiring a woman and letting the feeling fully flood the body ― even though she’s dating a dude. The song uproots the “girl meets boy” pop music standard, navigating Sawayama’s unfixed sexual preferences with nuance and playful levity. In “Cherry,” Sawayama confronts the contradictions that accompany fluid sexuality: can she authentically identify as queer while being in a heterosexual relationship? (Yes.) The question probes far deeper than Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl.”

Like the 2017 album “RINA,” “Cherry” invokes sounds popularized in the late ’90s and early 2000s pop by femme-forward artists like Willa Ford and Danity Kane. Sawayama, however, sharpens their sugary recipes by granting the genre a gravitas long denied to it. As a result, her jams feel both nostalgic and cutting edge, combining the sweetness of Mandy Moore’s “Candy” with the visionary mastery of Janelle Monae.

Along with possessing me to dance with a force best described as supernatural, Sawayama’s music illuminates potential for a future in which mainstream music can encapsulate experiences as niche and complex as any other “highbrow” art form. As Sawayama told Broadly: “I think it’s possible to queer the world with pop music.” ― Priscilla Frank

This Book Has Everything: Spore-Infected Zombies, A Mediocre Photo Blog, Critique Of Capitalism

Amazon

Spore-infected zombies, a mediocre New York photography blog, critiques of capitalism, a residential shopping mall and a spot of doomed romance: Ling Ma’s debut novel, Severance, has everything I want in a work of fiction.

Severance follows Candace Chen, an aimless twentysomething who has an uninspiring office job in New York, overseeing the production of Bibles. She has vague artistic aspirations and a dreamy writer boyfriend of five years. As the book begins, her boyfriend decides to leave New York for the cheaper and more artistically inspiring pastures of, well, anywhere else. Meanwhile, a fungal infection has erupted in China, and it soon spreads throughout the world. There’s no treatment; the infection kills those it affects, but often after a long spell of zombie-like existence.

Candace, left behind by her boyfriend and alone in the world (her parents, who immigrated from China when she was a young girl, are dead), stays in New York City as it empties of living residents, documenting its decay on her blog. Finally, she flees the city with a small band of survivors who make their way to a shelter owned by the group’s de facto leader.

Interwoven are flashbacks exploring Candace’s childhood, her immigrant experience, her family and her early years in New York, piecing together a novel that’s zombie apocalypse meets immigrant narrative meets office satire.

This book is hauntingly beautiful, it’s thrillingly plotted and it offered me a bit of escapism, the comforting thought that American civilization could be brought to an end by something I’ve completely forgotten to worry about since November 2016: a massive pandemic. ― Claire Fallon

‘Spotlight,’ Which Deserves A Spot In The Pantheon Of Classic Journalism Movies

This week’s shocking grand jury report detailing sexual abuse by hundreds of Catholic priests in Pennsylvania credited the Boston Globe Spotlight team’s 2002 investigation, which first exposed the institutional cover-up of serial sexual abuse involving Boston priests. The reporters’ work was later dramatized in the brilliant movie “Spotlight” — which, luckily, is available on Netflix. Nearly three years after its release, I can confidently say that it’s just as good as (and maybe even better than) “All the President’s Men,” and it deserves a spot in the pantheon of classic journalism movies.

While it miraculously won the Oscar for best picture in 2015, it also should have won awards for its meticulous craft, from its seamless editing to subtle camera work. The technical elements in understated movies rarely get the recognition that they deserve, precisely because they are so understated (i.e. no explosions and car chases). Journalism is not an inherently cinematic profession: It’s mostly people staring at computers, talking on the phone, reading through documents, etc. But “Spotlight” manages to make these mundane, procedural tasks look riveting. Case in point: One of its most suspenseful scenes involves an Excel spreadsheet. An Excel spreadsheet! ― Marina Fang

Aretha, Remembered

As we remember the one and only Aretha Franklin, so many iconic performances come to mind. “Divas Live.” Obama’s inauguration. That Carole King tribute at the 2015 Kennedy Center Honors. But one TV appearance of hers needs to be watched again and again, if only to stare at Cissy Houston providing backup vocals in the background.

That’s right: In 2014, Aretha sang a cover of Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” blended with a rendition of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” on “The Late Show With David Letterman,” and Cissy, an accomplished performer herself, appeared to forget all the words as one of the backup singers. It’s so entertaining and funny, and it will bring you some joy as we face the sad loss of the Queen of Soul. ― Leigh Blickley

Glenn Close In “The Wife”

Graeme Hunter Pictures, Sunnybank Cottages

If you want to see an actor at work — really at work — look for the moments without any dialogue. For the most gifted performers, that’s when the magic happens. Nicole Kidman at the opera house in “Birth.” Jodie Foster darting through Buffalo Bill’s house in “The Silence of the Lambs.” And, now, Glenn Close standing idly by her husband (Jonathan Pryce) as fans extol his fraudulent career in “The Wife,” a Meg Wolitzer adaptation opening this weekend.

In one of the best performances of her career, Close plays the spouse of a novelist who’s just been feted with the Nobel Prize — for the books she ghostwrote. Over the course of 100 minutes, she finds it increasingly tough to quiet the resentment that’s finally bubbling up inside of her. The movie springs to life not in the couple’s verbal tiffs but in the subtle character work Close does when the camera is stationed on her face, telegraphing the conflict she’s long masked. It’s an actress at her finest. ― Matthew Jacobs

A Nice Memory

Read last week’s Good Stuff.

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