#he definitely misunderstands the concept of a prank war

[potterandpromises]

Aza

This fic was written as an experiment. It's 26 paragraphs long and the first word of each begins with the corresponding letter of the alphabet. This was something I'd been wanting to try with an Amelia client for awhile, and it was surprisingly easy to write when it came down to it. Aza had no background when I began writing her story and it went in a direction I wasn't expecting. This was a thoroughly interesting experience and I'm glad I did it.

Content warning: semi-graphic description of past child abuse, 

Also on AO3

“Aza Asher?”

By the grace of a bus and three separate trains, Aza had made it to the offices of The Amelia Project. Her way out. Her way forward. “Yes." Her voice is thick with excitement. “I’m Aza, but hopefully not for much longer.”

Ceiling fan blades cast shadows on the wall behind the man she’s just been let in to see. Aza feels like she’s in a noir film, although she’s never actually seen a noir film. “Yes, hopefully not for much longer,” the man echoes, and Aza plays with her fidget ring. He’s not a particularly intimating man, but she is intimated nonetheless.

“Do you have anything working with animals?”

“Excuse me?”

“For my new life?” Aza isn’t sure she’s going about this in the right way, but surely almost no one goes through this process twice, so he must be used to a little confusion. “Do you have any jobs where I could work with animals? I'm not picky, but I've always wanted to. I could be a dog trainer or—“

“Get out.”

Her mouth falls open, closes, starts to quiver. But she bites down, steals herself. She didn’t go through public transport hell, stealing, the abuse, to be turned down like this.

“I’m kidding!” He extends his arms in a wide arc and Aza steps back instinctively. “Unless you have an uninteresting reason for wanting to fake your own death, in which case I really will have to tell you to get out. You see, here at Amelia, we deal in stories.” Is there any such thing as an uninteresting reason to fake one's own death? She doubts it. Even if the reason itself might be wholly guessable and common, the sort of person who would go to the lengths Aza herself is going to must almost always be quite a character. Then again, Aza has always thought of herself as the side character in someone else's story. “Oh, I used you in my little prank war— that's 34 for me by the way— and I haven't even offered you cocoa. My bad, truly. Please take a seat. Joey!”

Joey brings in a mug of cocoa in what must be close to 10 seconds flat. Aza takes it even though there’s a voice in the back of her head telling her to never accept a drink, any drink, from a stranger. She’ll have to trust them with far more then a cup of cocoa if she wants to survive. “Heavenly doesn't even begin to describe it, right?"

“Kill me,“ she pleads, likely with a chocolate mustache on her lip. “Please kill me, because— please pretend to kill me or—“

Lake water down her throat, sputtering on shore; bruises she almost couldn't cover; blood from her mouth as if she were in a horror movie.

“Mum will destroy the world.”

No going back now. No telling the truth. This isn’t a charity, she'd always known that, hence the few thousand stuffed in her clothing. But she hadn’t planned this lie.

“Oh my.”

“Please." She begs him to believe her or not believe her but take pity on her anyway. "You have to help me die so the world can live."

“Queer, very queer. How is it that your mum will destroy the planet?” Aza can tell he doesn’t believe her, she’s not stupid. She trudges on anyway.

“Rosalie Asher is a a scientist, ah, was a scientist. But she was fired. You see, my mother is an evil, evil woman, and at home she talks about— about using the nuclear codes, which she still has. Apparently it’s not actually that difficult to get into where those buttons are. She told me one time this guy was delivering food to her workplace, and he called to tell them the door was left open!" That last part is at least one quarter true. She’d heard a story like that on Last Week Tonight, although it had happened in America. “My mother may be evil, but she loves me, and if she thinks I’m dead, it’ll destroy her. She won’t be able to complete her plan.”

“Shit on a stick you’re lying to me.” Aza imagines her forehead hitting the table, finally letting her guard down.

“There’s the story you told me. Then there’s the true story. Then there’s the reason you lied. I want to hear all of them.” But Aza isn’t prepared to tell. She should have known The Amelia Project was too good to be true, even if it isn't a hoax. She cannot tell. Yet she cannot turn back, not now, not ever. Will her parents find her if she doesn't have help? She has no doubt they will, if her face is still her face.

“Upstream from my house,” she begins, her last ditch chance, “by the edge of the woods there’s this rock that’s covered in moss. I used to go there when I was little, thought it was my secret hide out, until I ran there one day when I was eight and my mum fractured my skill on that rock. That isn’t even the worst of it. I’m done begging and I’m done explaining.” Aza takes the wads of cash from her pocket, her bra, her socks, and places them on the desk. “Will you help me or not?"

“Very well." He's visibility horrified but gives nothing else away. “We’ve had an opening in Antarctica for ages, you’d be researching” —he shudders, she thinks involuntarily— “penguins. No one would ever find you there apart from us and maybe an extremely lost biologist or two. The only thing that might hurt you is frost bite.” He pauses. "And elephant seals."

“What about somewhere warmer?”

“Xylophone player in Uzbekistan?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” But she’s smiling and she can't remember the last time she smiled.

“Zebra keeper in Kenya?” Zebras. She can work with zebras.

[deathwishy]

×MARTIAN AU×

It was April 1st and, according to plan, every hero from the Young Justice was present. Perfect.

It was hard, but Marinette and Tim managed to bring everyone together for the biggest prank in Young Justice history. Of course, their team mates didn't know that. Except Miss Martian. She found out by accident and they had to take her in, but it turned out to be the best decision ever.

It all began with a ghost story two months prior. They were already planning and Miss Martian was just brought in. They decided that it was the perfect moment to plant the seed of fear and doubt in their hearts.

It started out as an innocent game night. Most of their team was present except for Kaldur, Artemis, Wally and Bart. With conspiratorial looks, M'gann suggested watching a horror movie, saying that she didn't see one yet. The team agreed, suggesting a modern one with good graphics, as a good introduction to the genre. After the movie came to an end, M'gann snorted loudly, instantly attracting the attention of the team, without looking like it was her intention.

"What's the matter?" Asked Dick, grabbing the remote and stopping the movie at the credits. M'gann blushed.

"It's nothing, it's just... We had nursery rhymes scarier than this."

"Oh?" Demanded Superboy. "Do tell."

Tim and Marinette locked gazes when no one was looking and grinned maniacally.

"Well, there is a legend, which my brother told me, that kept me awake for months. The story itself is not that scary but the concept and the fact that it turned out to be real did a number on me."

And so the story began. It was a genuine Martian story but it was not real, as M'gann was claiming. It was about a being called a Raggan'aaz. A shadow being that walked Mars long before the Martians and dwelled in the caverns deep below the surface. They lived for long and wouldn't die of natural causes, only if killed. When the White and Green Martians came around, they were hunt down, but a few still remained. After that,hey craved Martian blood but they were also very careful and patient. After all, they wouldn't die because of old age. As years passed, they became a myth but still very alive in Martian culture. They even had a rhyme to remind the children to stay out of their supposed caverns, where people would still disappear. 'Stay, my child, away from dark/ Or The Martian will claim his mark/ Stay away from places long forbidden/ And beware the red eyes in darkness hidden.'

"Wait, you called him The Martian?" Asked Superboy, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, they were supposed to be the first Martians. And so the title of The Martians came to the beasts. This is a translation from my language, Raggan'aaz is the original term. Now let me finish."

Raggan'aaz were predators. It was said that they would stalk their prey for weeks, months, some said even years, before engaging. The prey would even go insane by the time they were killed, drove into madness by the beasts whispers and taunts. They wanted to imbue the flesh of their victim with the taste of fear. Of terror. Once they had a target in mind, they would not let go until it was dead.

"It's not that scary." Dick said, grinning and crossing his arms.

"Maybe not for you, but our people tend to beware when they see red in the darkness, shadows with the corners of their eyes or hear whispers without anybody nearby."

"Maybe people were just going insane."

"Maybe." M'gann shrugged and stood up. "I'll go to sleep now, good night."

The team felt just a tad bit uneasy but they blamed that on the movie. They didn't know that it was Miss Martian, suggesting a little fear on the psychic link. Nothing serious. The three weren't planning on permanently scaring their team.

Since then, Marinette told Trixx, who was extatic, to create illusions around the base. They kept them out of missions, they didn't want to create real problems. The tamer were nothing much, a shadow, a pair of glowing red eyes that were visible just for a second here and there, the more unsettling ones were a few babbling but ominous sounding whispers in the halls at night. M'gann made sure to get each member alone when Trixx made the illusions, guiding the kwami while invisible. When Kaldur, Artemis, Bart and Wally mentioned these things, the tension in the team only grew tighter. By the time April 1st came around, the Young Justice believed that they were hunt down by a Raggan'aaz.

                               ...

"I think it's bullshit. Everything began after M'gann told you that goddamn story." Started Bart a month later, looking around.

"Look, it's nothing, maybe the story was a bit more unsettling than we thought it was. Now we are just seeing things that are not there." Dick countered, waving around a cookie.

"Maybe she's pranking us." Pointed Artemis, plopping on the sofa. Wally followed her, snuggling next to her.

"Yeah, no, she's cool and all but she's not a prankster." Said Wally dismissively.

Tim and Marinette were watching from the side, trying not to laugh. It was a stupid prank but that's why it would work. But they would need a fourth player. Someone that would be trusted about Martian information and that was usually serious enough to be believed about serious stuff. They needed J'onn J'onzz.

The three cornered him when he visited the base a few days later, away from the rest.

"We need your help." M'gann began, flashing a smile. After a few seconds J'onn frowned slightly. M'gann only smiled wider.

"It's one of the most ridiculous plans I've ever heard. How did three of the smartest heroes in here come up with it? And why?" Now M'gann was listening too. She got on board but didn't know why they wanted this.

"We need to get back at them from what they did six months ago."

"When they threw us in a panic room and didn't let us out until we confessed our feelings for each other." Tim smiled at Marinette, taking her in a side hug and kissing her on the head. She blushed a little and just snugged closer.

"It worked out for us, in the end, but we can't let that slide. This is war."

"And yes, it is a stupid plan and a very stupid prank but that's why it will work."

"They will expect something elaborate from us, so this is the way to go. They will not know what hit them."

J'onn considered for a few seconds. That may work. He wouldn't usually partake in such a childish endeavor but he was curious about the outcome. The Raggan'aaz were mere folklore but they were terrifying, especially for Martian children. Human children may be just the same.

"Very well. I am curious about the outcome. What do you need me to do?"

The fearsome trio smirked. This would be epic.

After they briefed J'onn and set the date, a week from then, and dispersed. Tim couldn't believe that they convinced J'onn to do it, Marinette was thrilled about it and M'gann was giggling like an idiot.

A week later, J'onn J'onzz stumbled from the zeta tube, disheveled and clearly unsettled but otherwise not obviously harmed. He was clutching his side and he was limping but that was it.

"What the hell happened?" Dick was the first one to get to J'onn, helping him on a chair.

"I... Am not quite sure myself." He turned his eyes to M'gann, who was checking him for injures, playing her role flawlessly. "If I didn't know better I would have said it was a Raggan'aaz."

Bart dropped his phone, Kaldur and Artemis flinched, Superboy whipped his head around, until then being in a conversation with Dick, who looked queasy. The rest of the team had varying reactions.

"Bullshit." Blurted Artemis.

"It's real?!" Screamed Marinette, looking at M'gann, who was now becoming more pale by the second. With a little help from her powers.

"I told you it was real!"

"We thought it was just a crazy legend! What the hell?" Screamed Wally pulling at his hair.

The team was now full in full hysterics.

"I think you summoned it." Said Garfield in a matter of factly tone.

"What is that?" Asked J'onn with a neutral tone, but with a hint of concern. He was good.

"The Martian, Raggan'aaz, he's been prowling around this place for weeks. I didn't actually think it was one of the beasts, I told the team the story just because I saw some things that reminded me of them and thought it would be funny. It didn't pass my mind that an actual Raggan'aaz would be on earth. I think he was looking for you. How did you even escape him?" Asked M'gann, now breathing hard.

That was something that they came up with a few days ago, when they were brainstorming ideas to make the story more believable. J'onn approved when they talked after, seemingly stoic as ever, but M'gann told them that he will be definitely laughing after the call ended.

"I don't think I was his actual prey, otherwise I wouldn't have had a chance. I think is someone else, but I wouldn't be surprised if he tried a second time."

"We have to tell the Justice League, this is bad." Now Nightwing looked alarmed.

"Calm down. We are not 100% sure this is a Raggan'aaz. Maybe M'gann's story is getting to your heads. My encounter may have been a misunderstanding, it would not be the first time another Martian impersonated a Raggan'aaz. I will investigate the situation but I advise you to be vigilant."

That seemed to calm the team down, if only for a bit. Tim was hugging Marinette, his face hidden in her hair to hide his smile. He could feel her smile too in his chest. M'gann was keeping it together very well, talking with J'onn in hushed tones as she led him to the zeta tubes. Tim was now looking at Superboy, who looked uneasy. He was listening. Good. Let him fan the flames. The asshole was the one to throw them in the panic room.

April 1st, The Young Justice Base of Operation

The team was tense and paranoid but not very much above the normal level. All the heroes were tense and paranoid most of the time.

There have been no sightings of the Raggan'aaz since J'onn has been 'attacked' but no one feels out of the hook yet. They have been questioning M'gann relentlessly but she quite enjoyed sharing bits of her culture, all real facts that could be woven easily into the lie but would stand on their own when the prank was done. She liked her small victories.

As they planned, the team was afraid but not so afraid that it would start affecting them or that they would feel the need to further consult with the League about it. Martian Manhunter knew so the others must know too, or so the youngsters assumed.

In the morning something could be felt in the air, besides the smell of pancakes. It was a bit of Trixx's and Plagg's magic, a bit of mischief sprinkled in the air.

Tim, M'gann and Marinette were in the kitchen that morning, nothing unusual. Marinette and M'gann were making pancakes and Tim was drinking his much needed coffee. He had to be wide awake. They already bugged the whole base but nothing can beat the real thing.

As the team was lured into the kitchen, the Raggan'aaz made his appearance.

"I'm smelling Dupain-Cheng pancakes. This is the best 'Welcome back after 6 months in space' gift I could have hoped for." Adrien was practically skipping in the kitchen, stealing one of the plates. He then drowned them in syrup and whipping cream.

"Jesus Christ Adrien, stop, you'll get sick."

"Worth it."

"You came back a week ago. I've made pancakes then."

"Did you hear what I said? 6 months. I'm planning on making up for the lost time."

"I'm heading for the gym. Feel free to join me." Tim said, kissing Marinette. She giggled and winked.

The others either cooed or made gagging sounds. Adrien was grinning. He was the main Timari shipper. A few seconds after Tim left, there was screaming in the hall. Perfect timing.

When they saw the scene in the hall, the team freezed. There, before Tim, was something resembling a White Martian, but only in form. His skin was a dark red riddled with black veins, long white claws, a mouth full of gleaming yellow teeth and red eyes that looked like they could set you on fire. The beast almost reached 10 feet, but hen it went on all fours. Trixx had really outdone herself. Tim had his Bo staff out but kept his distance. After all, the illusion would fall as soon as they touched him so they had to make the most of it.

"What the hell is that?!" Screamed Adrien calling for his transformation. Nobody saw Plagg's grin.

"Raggan'aaz." Said Nightwing, pulling out his escrima sticks. They cracked with electricity. He looked ready to puke.

Artemis was swearing along with Wally, Kaldur looked like he might run, Garfield turned into a rhyno, looking terrified but ready to punce.

The beast groweled something that made M'gann gasp.

"He said that his mark is on all of us. We are his prey."

It was all they needed to attack. The speedsters tried to get to him first but the thing was just as fast, if not faster. After all, it didn't obey any laws of physics, it was just an illusion. Marinette was already transformed but she, M'gann and Tim were sitting on the sides looking like they were waiting for an opening. When it almost got cornered the Raggan'aaz jumped on the ceiling and then out of the room. With a battle cry, the team followed it. The three stayed behind, not trusting themselves to not laugh. There were a lot of screams and thuds but after a few minutes it went quiet.

When the young heroes strolled in, with the most betrayed faces they have ever seen, the three burst out laughing. They couldn't even speak for a few minutes.

"Was any of it true?" Asked Nightwing with his 'dissapointed big brother' face™.

"Only the story." Said M'gann gasping for air.

"How did you get J'onn on it?"

"Pretty easy actually, he didn't have that much to do so he agreed. It helps to be among his favorites." Replied Tim grinning. He was still clinging to a giggling Marinette.

"Why?" Asked Adrien with a pained look on his face.

" Panic room." The couple said at the same time.

"But that worked out!" Adrien shouted indignated.

"It did, but this was war. We needed to retaliate."

The Justice League heard about the war from J'onn after it was done and they thoroughly enjoyed the clips Tim sent them. They unanimously decided to not cross Tim and Marinette. The two could conquer the world if they weren't so sleep deprived.

Ok, so this was written at 3 AM and there might be some inconsistencies but please enjoy my best shot at this prompt.

This is set after season 2 of Young Justice and before season 3 but Wally is still alive because he never died in my heart.

This came later than I would've liked but civilian lives are a pain.

@timari-month-event

[sunkissedhoshi]

Wolfstar Fic Rec List (Part I)

I’ve been reading wolfstar for at least a month now so I figured it was time to do this.

I feel like you should know that I am very picky with fics, as I can’t handle cringe-worthy plots and writing styles, and I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so what you’ll find here will probably be quality stuff. 

Also I don’t read non-magical AUs so you won’t find them here either. I’ll probably post a second part someday, but in the meantime have this :)

Enjoy!

The Shoebox Project by Lomara: This one is the fic. The mother of all wolfstar fics. Very few rec lists have it because just about everyone has read it, but if you’re like me and just found out about it, I shall provide. Follows the story of the marauders from 5th year at Hogwarts until they’re out of school. It’s a bit of a slow build-up but it’s really, really well written and the concept is incredibly original. I cracked up at least thrice in each chapter, it’s amazing. 26 chapters.

Feet of Clay by anythingtoasted : I think this was the first wolfstar I ever read and let me tell you, it was the best to begin with. It’s amazingly accurate and just so fucking cute. Divided in two parts, 29K words. Absolutely worth it.

Change by Puppylovele: This one’s really cute. Remus has a major crush on Sirius and Sirius decides to do something about it. 9 chapters, 37k words.

Map of the Problematique by SullenSiren: Four words: This! Fic! Broke! Me! oh my gOD i can’t stress enough how GOOD this fic is, it’s the perfect character developement and plot development and I just *screams* it’s so good. So. Good. The marauders share a flat after hogwarts. 2 chapters, 15.2K words.

Redeeming Time by Minx: James’s POV, about the year where Sirius plays The Prank on Snape. It’s really good. Not really sure how many words, but it’s not too long. 

Let Nothing You Dismay by montparnasse:  After Hogwarts, around Christmas. Listen, I know this time is filled with angst and stuff but this fic is just PURE FLUFF. Fuck it’s so so so so cute. 18.9K words.

Adagio by lupinely: Ungh. This one is so painful but sO GOOD. First-War and Lie Low at Lupin’s. 6.5K.

The Problem with Eggnog, Uncommon Thoughts, and Sharing a Bed with Sirius Black by xylodemon: I’ve seen this one around a lot, and I gotta say, now I know why. This is so fluffy and sweet and GOOD. 3K.

The Great Christmas Biscuit Misunderstanding of 1977 by xylodemon: THIS ONE WAS SO FUNNY I LAUGHED SO HARD. It’s like impossible mutual pining until FINALLY it happens. You know the drill. So. Good. 3.2K.

Five Types Of Love Sirius Black Had For Remus Lupin by FanficIsLove: The title is self-explanatory and honestly this is just so cute and sweet. I love it. 2.6k.

Hopeless by OfficialStarsandGutters: just. UNHLKFJDLKAJLDKFJSLDKFJFALDKFAÑSLDKFJ. There, enjoy it. 2.5K.

being an historical record of events surrounding the unfortunate truth-or-dare game of february the twenty-second, and consequences thereof by moonpants: This link was kindly provided by @lotstradamus! This is Hogwarts years and, well, the title is self-explanatory really. Long-ish but so so so so so worth it, DEFINITELY one of my favorites. 

Pair by moonpants: link again provided by @lotstradamus. This one is funny and Sirius is as charming as Sirius will ever be I love this so much. 

In The Middle by blossomwitch: This fic is amazing, especially because JAMES. JAMES JAMES JAMES JAMES. I love James. And also it’s incredibly cute it’s just so good and dlfkjdlfkjdslfkajdsflñkasdjf. Basically James has to spend almost 3 years with the knowledge that Sirius and Remus like each other, but since he has sworn to secrecy to both of them, he can’t do much about it. 3.7k.

A fearsome Business by CanisM: Lie low at Lupin’s. SO. GOOD. idek how to explain this fic ia lot of stuff happens, and it’s all so great and amazing. It’s incredibly well-written, too. 6 chapters.

A Feast In Azkaban by Nyx Fixx: ah, where do I begin. where do I BEGIN. This fic was absolutely mindblowing. Begins with Sirius being thrown into Azkaban, and we get to see the Dementor’s POV like. HOW COOL IS THAT. And there are flashbacks and memories and overall it’s just so. fucking. Good. It’s also amazingly written and very, very serious. You have enough dose of both fluff and angst. There are a few TW and there is definitely mature content, but the specific warnings are listed there in the link. THIS WAS SO LONG BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS FIC DESERVES A GOOD REVIEW AND A GOOD REC BECAUSE IT WAS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. 7 chapters, long-ish. 

Undercover by Kettle: This is settled around first-war era but it’s one of the chillest I’ve read of this time. Sirius is kinda tired of telling everyone he’s straight. He’s very very very gay. As we know he is. This is SUPER SUPER SUPER fluffy, 2 parts, amazingly cute. 

As Red as Hearts and Autumn by rosemaryandrue: Settled in 6th year, divided in 30 parts. This is super fluffy and wonderfully written. It’s basically Sirius and Remus throughout a month of 6th year and it’s just sooo good because you get not only their story but a lot of other backstory too. Totally, totally recommend it. The link will take you to the last part so you can have  a display of all the other 29 parts.