#he currently has two kids with octavia... and they are divorced

[nucrests]

Bailey Siblings ✨

[themangledsans0508]

Blitzo and Stolas’ relationship, their character flaws, and how it can improve.

Spoilers for literally the entire series.

Someone on here really irritated me by the way they talked about the relationship between Stolas and Blitzo. To acknowledge myself and the fact I personally think they are a good ship is to acknowledge my bias, but this person is obviously biased against the ship to the point they failed to look at the good parts of their relationship and focus solely on the bad parts.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL OPINION. Nothing I say is anything other than my interpretation. This is a long essay so I will tuck it beneath a Read More

First off, this person makes the failed marriage between Stolas and Stella completely Stolas' fault and implies Stella did nothing wrong while using a child's opinion as proof. While it is true that the failure is because Stolas cheated and that is wrong, Stella is in no way right. She is destroying things, throwing them at Stolas, yelling and berating him all in front of their daughter. She hired an assassin for Christ's sake, we're not going to pretend that's a reasonable reaction to someone cheating.

The proof they use is Octavia blaming all Stella's actions on Stolas, but she is a child. This has probably been her life for some time now and she's probably rationalized her mother's actions as something her father deserved. Kids in toxic households think of extreme reactions as being triggered by something the target did and are therefore excused as reasonable. Stolas cheated on Stella, therefore he deserved whatever she does to him. That isn't true, and Stolas definitely does not deserve to have things thrown and his possessions destroyed. Does he deserve to lose his wife? Yes, but that is not what initially happens.

ADDITION:

@monofpoke4life noticed something that's really interesting. It's implied Stella and Stolas' relationship was never the best by Octavia and Stolas himself. Octavia's comment could be in reference to her current life but Stolas' makes it seem like there has always been issues in their marriage.

They also make Stolas' reaction of hiding his face when he begins to be mocked as embarrassment over the loss induced by lust. I think it's different. He's embarrassed because he chose to pursue a man over keeping a perfect life he wasn't truly happy in. And in the song (let's call it Octavia's lullaby, or Stolas' lament) he references the fact he used to think love would be fun and that he thought he was bold, implying that neither is true. He doesn't like confrontation with the other two and thinks if he ignore it and it'll go away on its own. That's why he doesn't speak up, he's not bold enough to. The reason he could with the humans is they are so insignificant and powerless against him; Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are not.

A little side note, both the show and the other person's opinion makes it seem as if he has lost Octavia in this scene and that's not true- he still has Octavia. It seems he and Stella are divorced or in the process of being at this point as he does say "Octavia is with her mother this weekend" which makes me believe it's either a 50/50 custody situation or he has primary custody. Octavia isn't there because she left him; Octavia is there because he feels like he failed her. Octavia and Stella appearing isn't done by the other two, they're done by Stolas' mind and that's all. It's how he feels they feel about him.

Blitzo being tormented by two jilted lovers wasn't focused on enough besides the fact Stolas did nothing. Let's address that first: Stolas did nothing because he wasn't confident enough to. He didn't know anything about those two and this was the first he had heard about them. He couldn't be witty or snide because he didn't have enough information and he couldn't defend Blitzo because he didn't know how much of their claims were true. Also at this point, he's just trying to process what is going on.

Blitzo's issues with Verosika and Fizzarolli are clearly deeper than any party has stated. Only brief mentions to the past from all three of them and petty insults thrown around. It's clear whatever happened with those two really hurt Blitzo, he still has grudges against both of them. It was a confrontation that Blitzo couldn't get himself out of nor did he attempt to deny any of it, he had no wit and didn't make any comebacks which to me makes it seem there is some truth to the accusations

Next, we have the flaws in both of them in reference to each other.

There is an incredibly difficult power balance here. Stolas is a prince; blitzo is a imp. I'll be assuming here that imps are the lowest in hell's hierarchy hence why it's such a big deal Stolas is sleeping with one. That init of itself makes things incredibly unbalanced in the social sense. Then Stolas is also far stronger physically than Blitzo, although for this relationship I won't be considering it too much since they are not physical in a bad way. Finally, the book. It gives stolas so much leverage in the relationship that even if he doesn't use still exists. It's the basis of their whole relationship, it's what both their worlds revolve around. Stolas being in charge of the book means Blitzo has to be conscious of what he's doing around stolas because he could throw his life askew at any point. Although again, Blitzo doesn't seem to care too much about that as he does not watch himself around stolas and very openly will chastise him (ep 2, ep 5) however it should still be acknowledged as existing.

This is stolas' issue, he has power and doesn't realize/recognize it. He metaphorically (or literally, ep 6) has Blitzo on a lead and because of that Blitzo listens to his words. A majority of the season has been made up of Stolas making sexual comments towards Blitzo or reducing him to an object (phone call, ep 1; "my big dick Blitzy," ep 2; "my impish little plaything," entire series, example in mind is in ep 6) and while there are softer moments ("my darling Blitzy," ep 5; "are you all right, darling?" ep 6) that doesn't change that fact the majority of the verbal indications are taken as their relationship just being sex and Stolas never clarifies that to Blitzo.

Blitzo has multiple issues, he uses Stolas for his gain (the book, getting into the club ep 7) while Stolas either ignores it or looks at it positively. Whether or not he truly cares for Stolas is honestly debatable at the moment to the point both sides would have a good argument. That does not change the fact that their interactions only happen so Blitzo can get something from Stolas, with two exceptions where one was paid (ep 2, ep 5). 

Blitzo's other HUGE problem is he has abandonment issues and some other trauma in reference to relationships and to the extent he cannot open himself up to people and struggles to see himself in a family setting and happy (crossed out pictures, ep 7). In ep 6 Blitzo's subconscious admits these issues in Moxie's bad trip as well as his own while referencing he's scared of what'll happen if he does put himself in that setting. It further solidifies after he drops Stolas off in ep 7. He states: "don't pretend what we have is anything more than me fucking you," to which Stolas is upset but doesn't argue further. However, he contradicts himself, or at least his inner self does. He knows Stolas likes him enough to want to go out on a date. He knows Stolas is excited to be out with him in public and sees how dressed up he gets and the legitimate effort he puts in having a good evening. He did that to spy on Millie and Moxie. If Stolas really just wanted him for sex, why would he go out on a date with him and furthermore why would Blitzo even attempt to ask? It's simple: he knows Stolas likes him (loves? Has a crush on? Idfk) but he actively sabotages himself intentionally or not. Because he doesn't believe it'll work out or doesn't believe he's worth it is unclear and also debatable, the main fact is he knows their relationship could be more they just both have issues.

In an attempt to wrap this up I want to recognize that these are both broken people, Blitzo especially. This person whose statements irritated me did so by stating we shouldn't expect them to change because they bring out the worst in each other. While I agree with the first statement somewhat it is the second one that irks me. I would argue the Blitzo brings out some of the better in stolas, his childlike glee (my darling Blitzy!" Ep 5), his caring and romantic side (Instagram posts (not fully Canon but very closely based), entirety of ep 7), and his protectiveness (ep 6), which are things that have only been brought out by Octavia otherwise (sans the romantic part). 

Blitzo might not have the better brought out in him but is working towards there, he does protect stolas (granted with an excuse, ep 5), start showing gratitude (ep 6), and some level of affection or at least something akin to it (ep 6). What should be acknowledged is that broken people can't fix each other, that is a fact that cannot be argued. Someone cannot fix another person, the only way a person can be fixed is if they do it themself However, two people can support one another and try to better each other and themselves which the both of them are foreshadowed to be heading towards.

The writer also states that people do not know what "red flags" are in a context that doesn't make any sense. There are red flags like Stolas' power and Blitzo using him but those come from either society and exterior circumstances or mental illness. If those root causes are addressed then the flags can be taken down.

To state that their relationship is unhealthy is not an incorrect statement; that being said it doesn't mean it cannot become one. They can't fix each other and love doesn't magically make everything okay and it doesn't always work out, but it can have effort put into it to make it better. Stolas and Blitzo together can make their relationship healthy if that's how the story goes.

The author argues that their relationship shouldn't be expected to be perfect and should not be expected to become better or have the characters change but I disagree. Is the point of a show not to portray characters becoming better people? Is it not to portray optimism and realism? Would it not be more impactful for Stolas and Blitzo to work on their relationship, romantic or not, to model what is good and can be achieved instead of portraying being stuck due to one's flaws? A relationship doesn't have to be perfect to be okay. To be real doesn't mean to throw away what can be good; Stolas and Blitzo can both become better people. I personally hope and think they will.

[danceworshipper]

Tessa Chiva HPHM - Profile [Redone]

(information is as of sixth year - same universe as Gracie and River)

Identity

Name: Tessa Gracie Chiva

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Birthday: August 17th, 1973 at 3:37 am (leo)

Species: Human/Witch

Blood Status: Pureblood

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Alignment: Lawful Good

Ethnicity: White - German, English

Nationality: British

Residence: Chiva Manor, a heavily warded house in the wizarding part of the English countryside

Personality Type: ISFP-T (the adventurer - that's ironic)

The Mage

Wand: 13 1/4 inches of cherry wood encasing a dragon heartstring, flexible. The wand is dark red and slightly thicker than the average wand, with a smooth handle molded precisely to her hand

Animagus: Sparrow Hawk

Misc. Magical Abilities: Legilimens, moderate strength, with weak Occlumency

Boggart Form: Gracie, angry and coldly saying that she'll never love Tessa because Tessa is weak and beneath her

Riddikulus Form: Gracie deaged to a toddler, saying the same words but meaning them less

Amortentia (how she smells): Tessa would smell like sugar, strong deodorant, and salt water

Amortentia (what she smells): Tessa smells metal, strawberry kiwi drinks, and nail polish (River)

Patronus: Lioness

Patronus Memory: the first time she and Gracie were ever allowed to go wandering in the woods on their own. They found a creek and spent the afternoon barefoot, eating berries and splashing each other

Mirror of Erised: Her family together and happy as if nothing ever happened

Specialized/Favorite Spells:

- Aguamenti

- Vermillious

- Orchideous

- Visus Aqua (a spell for Quidditch to see in the rain)

- Revelio

Appearance

(picture made using the zepeto app)

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 124 lbs

Physique: Skinny, slightly wider hips than Gracie. More physically muscular than her sister as well

Eye Color: Army green

Hair Color: Dark brown

Skin Tone: Pale but human looking. Has spattered freckles around her nose

Body Modifications: Two piercings in each earlobe and a cartilage piercing in her left ear

Scarring: Various small scars on knees from childhood, nothing major (yet), will end up with faint scars all over from the final fight with R

Inventory:

- Her wand

- Her father's old watch, not worn but kept in her purse

- Around twenty Galleons

- A poem about her from River folded in her pocket

Fashion: Tessa is willing to sacrifice comfort for fashion. When not in her uniform, Tessa is usually in a skirt of some kind with a cute fitted top and possibly a stylish jacket. She wears either flats or wedged shoes. Her hair is kept in two braids or low pigtails. When she's being athletic, she wears black fitted tracksuit pants and either a loose tank top or a Slytherin sweatshirt, with her hair in a tight messy bun. She wears small gold hoop earrings and a gold cartilage stud, and in later school years a peridot ring that was a gift from River. For makeup, she only wears lip gloss and mascara.

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Affiliations/Organizations:

- Chiva Family

- Black Family

Professions:

- Current student and Slytherin Quidditch Captain

- Future Quidditch Player for the Montrose Magpies

- Future advocate for creature rights

Hogwarts Information

Class Grades:

- Astronomy: O

- Care of Magical Creatures: O

- Charms: O

- Defense Against the Dark Arts: E

- Divination: E

- Flying: O

- Herbology: E

- History of Magic: O

- Potions: O

- Transfiguration: O

Quidditch: Chaser, team captain from fifth year on

Extra Curriculars:

- Dueling Club

- Assistant for Kettleburn

- Weekly Legilimency lessons from Snape

Favorite Professors:

- Professor Kettleburn: Tessa adores his wacko personality and enthusiasm for creatures. He's encouraged her whenever she feels hopeless and is a surprisingly good listener

- Professor Flitwick: The number of times Tessa has nearly cried in his class is insane. She used to be worried about being too unskilled at magic and her nerves made her fail a spell at first, but Flitwick was gentle and talked her through it until she was one of the best in the class. Her bad nerves left in third year, but he's still more gentle with her

Least Favorite Professors:

- Professor Trelawney: Tessa is good at Divination. She enjoys Divination. What she does not enjoy is Trelawney acting like a freak and driving people out of the class. Tessa learns much more from her textbook than from the professor

- Professor Snape: Yes, he's her head of house, but he's an asshole. He's insulting to her and many others and makes her feel more worthless than she already does. If she didn't have Gracie and Penny to help her learn outside of class, she would have failed his O.W.L. Her Legilimency lessons are the worst part of her week

Relationships

Twin Sister: Gracie Tessa Chiva

- Gracie is only eight and a half minutes older than her, but Tessa sometimes feels like Gracie is years older

- She regrets quitting the vaults because she feels like she and Gracie are different people now

- Tessa still blames herself for Gracie's curse. She can't remember the incident, but her wand was two inches from her hand when she woke up and she had no injuries besides the concussion that she thinks is just from falling, so she believes she failed her sister

- Tessa desperately wants her sister's approval and doesn't realize just how much her sister loves her

- She wishes she could do something to protect Gracie for a change

- They were super close as kids and grew apart in the later school years

- All Tessa wants to do most of the time is latch onto Gracie and never let her go into danger again

Older Brother: Vance Riley Chiva

- This bastard

- Vance always favored Gracie

- Tessa still loved him, but she would sometimes feel excluded

- Vance did in fact leave her a few memories, but they were locked in the same box with Gracie's and when Tessa saw how many more Gracie got, she refused to watch hers

- When Vance is freed in fifth year but leaves again without seeing her first, Tessa shatters the picture of him, her and Gracie. It's repaired the next morning, and stays fixed until the end of sixth year when Gracie shatters it too

- Tessa hates Vance

- When he dies in place of her, she realizes she never hated him. She loved him and just wanted him to love her

Younger Cousin: Aiden Carter Darkling

- Aiden is the son of Rachel Chiva, Jason's sister. Rachel and Aiden's father divorced while he was still young, but it was relatively amicable and he comes around for holidays

- Tessa never payed the kid much attention when they were younger, but after he started Hogwarts she took him under her wing a lot

- Aiden comes to her for advice when he has his first crush, when he's nervous about a test, or simply needs a hug. Tessa gets to be a big sister and she loves it

- She's way closer to Aiden than Gracie is, and Aiden isn't hesitant to tell Tessa that he likes her far better. It makes her feel good

Mother: Clarissa Vanessa Black

- Tessa loves her mother, but she doesn't agree with her on a lot of things

- She tries her hardest to make her mother proud, because she knows she's the only "decent" child Clarissa has left

- She actually suggested a contract marriage in hopes of making her mother happy. She was really confused when Clarissa forcefully shut the idea down, not realizing all that her mother went through in her own past

- When Tessa is in her coma in seventh year, she hears her mother go insane (it's what wakes her up) and realizes just how much Clarissa loves her

- Tessa takes much longer to figure out Clarissa and Margaret than Gracie does

- She keeps better in contact with her mother throughout her adulthood than Gracie

- Family dinners are awkward but hey, they're still family

Father: Jason Harvey Chiva

- Tessa, like Gracie, admired Jason a lot as a child

- She only visited his Auror office a few times, because while she thought it was cool she wasn't interested in it as a career

- Tessa didn't see him murder their family friend and didn't believe it when Jason's partner Thomas came to tell her and Clarissa

- She still can't quite believe it, and she misses him a lot, which is why she carries his watch with her *cough cough daddy issues cough*

- The day Gracie has to kill Jason, Tessa destroys the watch

- He tries to kill Margaret in front of Tessa's young daughter Octavia, and that's when Tessa fully believes that Jason lost his mind

Ex Boyfriend: Barnaby Lee

- They met in first year (obviously, they're in the same house), but Tessa never paid him any attention

- It was only in second year when she and Liz were allowed to start getting early lessons from Kettleburn that she started noticing him

- Barnaby was a character during these early lessons

- He hadn't actually signed up for them, but he heard Liz talk about them and just assumed they were open to anyone

- Kettleburn didn't care obviously, he's a bit unstable anyway

- Barnaby would always carry the heavy stuff and Tessa's raging puberty hormones took one look at the muscles and said "heyyyyyyyyy"

- Then of course she actually started talking to him, and dear fucking god was he dumb. But then she talked to him more and he actually wasn't? He was kinda smart in a weird way? And really really nice?

- She never told him she liked him, and by the end of the year he was starting to slip under Merula's control

- Tessa was the one to try and get him to think for himself in year three. She's also the one who dueled him, and she lost miserably, but she stood back up whenever he knocked her down and he admired that. A few weeks later, he asked her out to Hogsmeade

- Gracie was pissed but Tessa didn't care that much

- They were a super cute couple and all of Slytherin (besides her dorm mates) shipped them so hard

- They ended up growing apart in fourth year and deciding they're better off as friends

Love Interest: River Mund

- As of sixth year, they are not together, though it's pretty obvious they both fancy each other

- River is an exchange student from Ilvermorny who arrives the same day as Alanza. Tessa is made to be their tour guide, and while showing them around she can't help but notice that this (very handsome) new boy seems really stressed out. She assumes it's from being so far from home and tries to be encouraging, but he doesn't say a single word the entire time

- River ends up staying in the Slytherin dorms, and Tessa watches him all the time (just out of curiosity of course). He almost never talks to anyone, and is very jumpy when someone gets too close

- After about a month of this, Tessa decides to sit down at the same table as him while doing homework. He seems almost scared of her, but after a week it becomes normal, and she hears his voice for the first time when he asks her for help on his CoMC essay. Another week, and when River packs up his things to go to the dorms, he leaves her a folded up piece of parchment containing a poem he wrote about her

- Tessa starts noticing how often River sneaks into the Forbidden Forest, and gets curious enough to follow him. This is how she discovers he's a vampire - a rarer subspecies theorized to be stemmed from partial vampire breeding together

- River is horrified and thinks she'll hate him since he hates himself. He wasn't born a vampire. His family illegally paid a vampire to break into the hospital and change him to save him from cancer without any input from him. It's why he wanted to come to Hogwarts, to get away from them

- Tessa is scared, obviously, but she tries her best not to show it because he had just started to open up and she didn't want to lose the progress they had been making. When she tells him she's not scared of him River doesn't look like he believes her, but he's so relieved she's trying that he hugs her

- They very quickly become much closer after that, and Tessa realizes that she might be in too deep when she shoves her wrist in his face for him to drink from when he weakly confesses he hasn't had any blood in two weeks without a second thought

- He buys her the ring during January. He claims it's for being such a good friend, but Tessa hopes it's because he likes her (they're both so oblivious)

- They'll get together in seventh year over Christmas break. They both stay behind at the school, and end up confessing while sitting in front of the fire in the Slytheirn common room

Best Friend: Liz Tuttle

- Tessa and Liz met in first year, the first night in the dorms

- Liz, being her awkward self, asked slightly too loudly if anyone wanted to discuss the Fwooper

- Tessa did indeed want to discuss the Fwooper

- Boom, best friends

- Tessa tries being vegan like Liz but can't take it, and reverts to being vegetarian. She's not exactly good at that either, but she never eats meat in front of Liz (at home is fair game)

- She and Liz spend a lot of their free time outside, sneaking into the forest even

- On an assignment from Kettleburn, they accidentally discover the Room of Requirement and now spend free time during bad weather in there

- Liz constantly reassures her that she's not a bad sister for stepping back from the vaults

Rival: Skye Parkin

- They may have been teammates, but Tessa and Skye HATED each other. It really threw off the team dynamics for a while

- Tessa almost quit because Skye made practices miserable for her, and this is when she and Erika ended up friends. Erika convinced her to stay on the team and make Quidditch miserable for Skye instead, and even helped train her

- Orion picking Tessa as his successor and not Skye (who was a year older and more experienced) made Skye so mad she broke her broom and quit. Tessa couldn't help being happy about that. Skye brings out her inner pettiness

Enemy: Vance Riley Chiva

- Tessa is just so sure he's lost all humanity

- She's mad at him for getting them into this mess in the first place

- She swears the next time she sees him, she's going to smack him

- She doesn't get the chance, nor does she get to say anything at all

Dormmates:

- Gracie Chiva

- Liz Tuttle

- Rowan Khanna: they're friends, but very casually, as Rowan is Gracie's best friend

- Merula Snyde: they're not friends, nor will they ever be, but they try very hard not to argue for Gracie's sake

- Ismelda Murk: they too are not friends, but they study History of Magic together because they have similar studying styles and both find the subject interesting

- Colette Belrose: see below

Pets:

- Ruby, the family Crup

- Clara, Vance's toad (she's more Gracie's pet)

- Elaura, a shared owl

- Lemmy, a moke

- various creatures in the reserve that Tessa and Liz coparent

Closest Canon Friends

- Chiara Lobosca: the werewolf quest? Tessa did that. She adores Chiara's kindness and resilience, and frequently uses her Animagus to accompany her on full moons

- Diego Caplan: he helps train Tessa's magical strength. He was totally into her at first, but he calmed down and now they hang out a lot in and out of the Dueling Club

- Erika Rath: Training buddies with a healthy Quidditch rivalry. Tessa has even gotten Erika to come over to her house so they could hang out over the summer

Closest Noncanon Friends

- Gracie Chiva (Jacob's sibling canonically has no other siblings)

- Rosalie Sonnenschein: A German model one year older than her who attends Durmstrang. A first generation part Veela with a very strong natural allure that has men (and women) swooning

- Kyle Orchan: the Squib son of one of the shopkeepers at the clothing store Tessa frequents. He's the best listener Tessa has ever met and loves hearing about her magical adventures. He does sometimes get very sad hearing about this world he'll never be a part of, but he's too nice to ever mention it

- Colette Belrose (@gcldensnitch): Tessa met Colette their first night in the Slytherin dorms. Granted, Tessa spent most of that night talking to Liz, but she went to bed relatively early so Tessa struck up a conversation with Colette. They're super similar and plan to go on a tour of Europe one day. Colette helps Tessa step back and remember to breathe, and she loves her for it

(Storyline has to be in a different post because of tumblr's dumb text limit)

Future

Marriage and Children: Tessa and River get married at the age of twenty one, and almost immediately Tessa gets pregnant with her oldest daughter, Octavia. Her body reacts very negatively and she almost dies while giving birth, so she and River agree to not have any more children. Six years later, Tessa accidentally gets pregnant with twins, Meredith and Alexander. It's a terrifying experience, but all three of them live and the twins are healthy

Career: At the age of twenty two, Tessa is recruited for the Montrose Magpies after one of their scouts watches her casual group's practice. She takes a short break years later to have the twins, and they welcome her back when she joins back up. Her replacement was shit. Tessa gets better at International Apparation so that she and River can spend time in America, England, and Germany without interrupting their work schedules. After she eventually resigns from the team, she uses her "fame" to bring more attention to the petitions for creature rights

The Second Wizarding War:

- Tessa isn't in the country for the most part when the war starts up, though she stops bringing the kids when visiting her mother after it starts getting bad

- After Bill's attack she and River temporarily stay in England for their friends, having her kids stay with Merula and her and Gracie's kids

- She doesn't fight in the Battle of Hogwarts. She's too scared for both herself and Gracie, as if Tessa went to fight Gracie would follow

- Tessa finally discovers all of what happened when Gracie joined R, and how much she truly was one of them for a little while when Olivia Green suddenly enters the picture. That takes her a while to get over, but she's able to

Old Age and Death: Tessa dies at the age of 120 of natural causes, after Gracie, River, Liz, and basically all of her friends. When she gets too lonely, her soul gives up

Personality

- ambivert

- horribly insecure, not so much about her looks but her strength, both magical and physical

- a wee bit of a masochist, constantly pushes herself too hard

- has a good memory

- is good at strategy

- very very kind, even sometimes when someone doesn't deserve it

Misc Information

- Tessa is bilingual, fluent in both English and German

- From all her practicing, Tessa is an amazing cook/baker - River's drinking buddies absolutely love her for it

- She can sing beautifully, and can play simple songs on the piano

- Tessa's depression never quite goes away, but it never gets very bad

- She has pretty bad misophonia, which developed around age nine and got worse with the anxiety and depression

- She ends up with a doll collection that River is terrified of, so much so that she has to put charms around each one so he can't see them unless he focuses

- Tessa is a massive pasta hound

- She hates any drink that fizzes. It's very inconvenient considering she frequently attends parties with things like sparkling water and champagne

- Tessa likes pineapple pizza

- Her favorite color is green

- She's left handed like her siblings and her mother

- She loves thunderstorms

- Her favorite season is winter

- She loves going stargazing

- She has a weird obsession with water. If she's upset, the best thing to do is draw her a bath, and sometimes she'll fill a bowl and stick her hand in it while studying or reading

- She sweats a lot, both from being active and from unlucky genetics (hence why she smells like strong deodorant)

- Tessa doesn't exactly believe in aliens, but she's pretty sure we're not alone in the universe

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 8: Mountain Lion Mean Notes

Okay, so I was writing up notes on my Troped Western fic and then I clicked something and it all disappeared! I’m very upset and I hate the idea of starting again but like... I guess that’s what I gotta do :/

Mountain Lion Mean on AO3.

Written for @troped-fanfic-challenge​

So as I said in my notes, I watched Hell or High Water on the Sunday the trope document opened and immediately became obsessed, and that was my main inspiration. I saw it and loved it and, like with most things I love, my first thought was how can I do this too?? I didn’t want to do a straight AU of it, because it’s just too good and I don’t want to mess with that kind of perfection, but I knew I wanted a similar mood. I also figured pretty early on that I would try to include a bank robbery.

For the first days after the trope doc opened, I mostly just gathered inspiration and tried to think Western thoughts. In addition to HOHW, my inspiration included:

The Western episode of Charmed

A Western Rock playlist I found on Spotify

This post of southwestern gothic aesthetics

“Ranch Girl” by Maile Meloy (also the inspiration for it is new moon and twilight, which, fun fact, was originally going to be a Western; I didn’t re-read the story but it’s been haunting me since I first read it c. 2001 and is probably a partial inspiration for everything I write)

William Faulkner (especially “A Rose for Emily” and A Light in August) for the “town POV” narration

Sigrid Undset for the floating third-person-POV

The wikipedia article on Westerns, for succinct summaries of the themes of Westerns

The original aesthetic, quoted from my notes: “The vastness of the west, the frontier, a little uncivilized, a little dangerous, tough looking men who don’t talk much, extrajudicial justice, the heat and the desert…“

By the time I sat down to brainstorm, I had a few ideas and a few images already in mind. I wanted to include a bank robbery. I liked the idea of Clarke as a gunslinger and/or purveyor of vigilante justice. I thought I might use Gina as a bartender (this was during the half-moment I thought I might write a Bartender Mechanic fic; obviously neither of these things happened). And I liked the idea of including Murphy as some kinda criminal or unsavory type. The image of Bellamy as a taciturn cowboy came fairly early too.

I was a little uncertain at first if I wanted to do an 1800s western or a neo-western, mostly because I felt like the tropes I was attracted to and the images in my head fit better in the 1800s. But ultimately I settled on neo-western pretty fast, because I thought the imagery and themes would work better in the modern day. Plus I just thought it would be easier tbqh.

My first concern was to not just re-write a shittier HOHW. I was really caught up in the logistics of the bank robbery; including too much of that would necessarily make it a copy of the film, so I tried to keep just the bare bones of the robbery + the general justification (saving the family land). Then I added additional portions of the scheme--not too difficult since I knew I wanted Gunslinger/Vigilante Clarke in there, and I needed some way to show that she takes Justice into her own hands--and additional characters. Again, most notably Clarke, but also Raven and Octavia. The characters have their own backgrounds, personalities, relationships, and motivations, all of which make the story more mine imo. I’m satisfied with the balance of Obvious HOHW Influences and original content.

At some point, I described it to my mom as “Bellamy is Toby, Murphy is Tanner, and Clarke is canon Clarke but in the modern West.” Which I still think is accurate.

Including Clarke, though, and privileging the various relationships among the trio of Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy, made me feel like I was making an it is new moon and twilight knock off except with Clarke for Raven. I still kind of see it, tbh, in the sense that twilight was itself supposed to be a western--I think it would be fair to say that Mountain Lion Mean IS the fic I set out to write in February 2020--and in the sense that I could have written a different story in the same universe as Mountain Lion Mean that explored the Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy relationships in a way that is similar to twilight. As is, a lot of that is unsaid and unseen. The two fics have different focuses, so it’s probably only apparent to me just how similar they are. Just like, to me, Mad Women and The Wanheda Tape are the same story even though they have very different aesthetics and plots.

Some excerpts from my notes that I think are fun:

I really want to work with the themes (haha themes) of frontier justice and also the sense that the west is infinite but also small, that nature is hard and impossible to wrangle but that the opportunities are narrow and it’s easy to get trapped in it, the melancholy nature of it, the dichotomy of nature (huge, powerful) versus man (small, struggling against nature and against man). Or some such. Or Murphy just robs banks.

Bellamy owns a struggling ranch. Clarke is a gunslinger (don’t really know if I can use this trope in the current day but possibly?) who doesn’t trust the law. Has a conceal[ed]-carry permit. Is the best shot in three counties. Murphy’s been in and out of prison most of his adult life, mostly for crimes like robbery and assault.

How do they know each other? Possibilities: Murphy knows Bellamy through Octavia (idk why…but I do feel like O should appear, riding a horse) (background Octaven? Just a thought), Bellarke are exes, Murphy used to work on the ranch. Clarke has killed someone (someone Bad) and gotten away with it.

I do like the focus being on these three characters, who have a long history but aren’t currently close, coming together for a mission (to rob a bank) for the benefit of one who is struggling (Bellamy) even thought this is an awful lot like both Hell or High Water and it is new moon and twilight lmao.

I like that mood from HOHW where actually Toby was the most dangerous, and the smartest, and he won—the idea that Bellamy is the taciturn cowboy who’s not good at sharing his feelings but he’s also the mastermind in the end. Is that the twist? You get the impression Vigilante Gunslinger Griffin and Actual Ex-Con Murphy are planning something, but then it turns out to be Bellamy who executes the plan? [Not quite how it turned out lol in that I think it’s decently obvious that Bellamy was a major part of it the whole time but I did try to get some of this in with Octavia in the final scene--to really drive home Bellamy’s importance, as the ring leader, since otherwise one could ask, what does he even do?]

Midway through the planning process I came up with some more images to work from:

B and C out at dusk on the ranch, she’s shooting can, a bit of UST perhaps

M shows up at the bar and there’s an awkward silent entrance—perhaps he’s just out of prison

Murphy or Clarke guns akimbo [I picked Clarke to emphasize that she’s the gunslinger, but I had Murphy shoot out the security cameras to show that they were using his robbery experience]

Bellamy being silent and awkward

At this point, it was just about putting all the pieces together. That’s how I tend to plan Troped fics: I lay out all the pieces I need or want to include and then I figure out the shortest and most efficient distances between them. For example, I knew I needed a bank robbery and for Clarke to administer some vigilante justice--so I use that justice as a way to launder the money. They fake a will for her victim and “give” the money to themselves.

I did worry, and still worry, about the timeline re: the Bellarke marriage and the will because I’m quite sure it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work. But it also... it doesn’t keep me up at night because the whole point is that it’s a scam!! Worrying about legality in a scam is sorta... lol. What I mean specifically is that I wanted it to be clear that Clarke does not kill Kane FOR this scheme. They use something she already did to their advantage. So she and Bellamy can’t be married at the time Kane is killed. That implies the murder was pre-meditated for the bank robbing purpose. But I’m also fairly sure (and I should know this because I took T&E but like...honestly can’t remember) that the people in the will are counted at the time of death, not the time of probate, or you could like... adopt extra kids or marry or divorce someone to affect the will. Plus all that stuff about simultaneous death etc. etc. Also, on a practical level, if Clarke wasn’t married, Kane wouldn’t have an obvious reason to write her spouse into the will. But I get away with this in my head by saying, first, no one’s going to say the husband that’s standing right there doesn’t count as a husband--the law is the law but it’s implemented by people and they fudge corners all the time. They do what seems to make sense even if you’d lose points for it on a law school exam. And second, the will could have been written with the assumption or hope that Clare would marry. Possibly even, though I don’t say this in the fic exactly, on the condition of marriage--Clarke gets 100% to share 50-50 with her husband if she’s married, 0% if she’s not. Doesn’t really matter. It’s supposed to read as outwardly clever and create Mystery and play with the Exes Aesthetic even if it doesn’t hold up the strictest scrutiny. (JDs don’t @ me.)

I justified including the marriage as a necessity because Kane could possibly leave money to Clarke’s husband but he wouldn’t leave money to some rando. I do stand by that part.

I also decided at some point that I wanted to include Background Octaven but be really subtle about it so it was something else the reader would have to piece together: that Raven has a girlfriend, then that Octavia has a girlfriend but, hey, isn’t Raven a bartender?--and then it comes together in the last scene as we see that their relationship was factored into Bellamy’s plan all along: some of the loot goes directly to Octavia and her partner, officially as payment for Raven’s services, unofficially because Bellamy wants to give O a gift. Anyway. Either it was too obvious or too subtle/boring because no one mentioned it but I thought it was cool lol.

At this point in my planning I basically had everything I needed, so I wrote a quick outline of scenes, as I always do, to see how it would flow scene to scene and if I had a place to put all the necessary plot info. I also ended up doing “what I need from this scene” lists for each scene so that I knew what I had to have on my mind to include before I sat down to write each one.

The actual writing was done over 3 days and fairly easily and quickly. I had a lot of fun not just with planning but with the actual process of creation. I think it’s because I was just honestly excited to be in this universe and play with this aesthetic.

Not to blow my own horn here but some parts that I was particularly pleased with were:

“Arkadia hasn’t seen a drop of rain in thirty-two days. The asphalt on the highway shimmers with heat; the air crackles with heat; the heat rises, stifling and strong, from the parched dirt and the cracks in the pavement.” Like I’m sorry but that’s a good image, I like that a lot. Whenever I felt discouraged, I just read that again and felt better.

The description of past Bellarke because boy howdy do I not care to write romance anymore but that was fun. I thought it was hot.

Transitioning Murphy laughing until the coyotes can hear into Bellamy hearing coyotes at night into Bellamy still hearing them during the day. I don’t know if it worked quite like I wanted to but in my head that is a very Cinematic transition, okay? I also like that even though Clarke and Murphy aren’t literally riding off together in that scene, for the reader, they are leaving the narrative never to be seen again. So they get their Dramatic Exit.

Octavia’s explication of the Theme and Bellamy’s possible motivations. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually having a theme and I think I did a good job of explaining it without being too heavy-handed. I also think it was perhaps risky to end with the POV of Octavia, a character who’s barely been in the fic before the last scene, but ultimately that decision felt right to me and I think it had a good flow, a nice mellow exit from the narrative.

What I didn’t like as much was a lot of the first scene. I think it has some great bits but it was the most re-worked part of the fic, and there are still some paragraphs and phrases that I feel are a little stiff. For example, this is a paragraph that I cut entirely:

Diyoza was sure the Griffin daughter did the deed back in January and she's sure about it still. She even gives a quote to the Sun-Times about it, despite her troubles with Green. But she had no proof then, not even a body to justify a murder charge, and she has little proof now. So no one believes the investigation will come to anything.

As you can see, it gives no new information. There were other sentences and phrases that weren’t doing work but were interrupting the flow, which also got cut, but I’m still not sure that the flow is perfect in the final version.

Also displeased that I edited out a * from the version on AO3, thus letting two scenes run together. How embarrassing!!! It’s fixed now though.

Overall though I’m so pleased! I love this fic and I love that I can love things again. This year has already been so hard, just like being battered again and again by waves of a storm, and it’s only 5 weeks in but this experience was so unabashedly good and I’m so grateful for it.