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#he can’t do the accent he’s just Chris Pratt saying The Words
synagoths · 2 years
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Chris Pratt saying “lets-a go” is killing me
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Limited Space (one-shot)
Synopsys: One room. Two beds. But will both of them be used?
Pairing: Tom Holland x f!Reader; OC!Juliet (Reader’s character’s name)
Genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, like blink and you’ll miss it
Warnings: like one swear word I think :D
Word count: 3739
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       “Y/N.”        “Yes, Jimmy?” she dramatically flipped her head to the side causing her hair to swish which made everyone laugh a bit at her antics.        “When you found out you weren’t going to be in ‘Civil War’ with these guys, and Tony was going to get a new protegee in Spider-Man, what were your thoughts? Did you kinda go up to Kevin Feige and ask if he was replacing you?”        “Funnily enough,” Y/N pointed at Tom, “when we first met on the carpet for ‘Civil War’ that was the first thing he said. “Please don’t think I’m replacing you!”" she imitated his London accent though quite badly making everyone chuckle, and Tom had to bite his lip to keep the smile at bay.        “If I’m being genuine –“ she continued, “I was just terrified I was gonna be fired. Cause after ‘Age of Ultron’ where it turns out the Hulk took the plane to space and ended up in Sakaar, I thought that’s what would happen to me. And I was pumped,” Y/N emphasized the word, “but like, Mark and I were keeping in non-stop contact while it was leading up to Phase 3 announcements, 'cause neither of us had any idea what was happening to our characters. And when it was announced Hulk would be in 'Ragnarok', yet for me, it was radio silence, and then Spidey flipped into the ‘Civil War’ trailer… I-“ she laughed, “I kinda started sweating.”        Robert patted her knee as Y/N made a motion of ‘cooling off’ with her hand. “And then for like two more weeks, there was nothing. Mark knew zip, though that was a smart decision on Marvel's part.”        “Is he still not trusted by anyone?” Jimmy chuckled, and Robert rolled his eyes.        “Listen,” the legend started, “everyone loves him, and he’s such a kind person. Whenever something slips past those loose lips,” he looked over his tinted glasses at Tom as well, “it’s never from a malicious place. Like those two are just excited and want to share that with the world, but when you stream the first fifteen minutes of the movie on your Instagram… you kinda lose the access to the secrets.”        The audience erupted into laughter as did Y/N. She had gone to the 'Ragnarok' premiere to support her friends, and the movie and clearly remembered the woman poking Mark in the back and angrily whispering for him to turn off the Instagram Live that was still going. At the afterparty, for the first twenty minutes, that’s what everyone was talking about.        “And what about you, Tom?” Jimmy brought the conversation back on track. “When you found out you’d be in Civil War but had no contact with Y/N or Juliet in this case what was your first thought?”        “I was really scared that she’d hate me,” Tom laughed rubbing his neck and looked at Y/N, who waved him off. “ ‘Cause Tony’s and Juliet’s relationship is one of the strongest in the MCU, and now that he’s recruited Peter, I was genuinely terrified. Especially of her fans, like they are passionate about Juliet, which I totally get. I just hoped that she’d be nice and accepting when we did meet and got to work together.”
       Y/N rolled her head to the side and looked at Tom. “And am I as scary as you thought I’d be?”        “In the mornings, horrifying,” Tom sassed, and Y/N slapped his shoulder with mock hurt on her face while Robert exclaimed a ‘watch it, kid, that’s my daughter! I might be dead, but I’ll come back to haunt your ass.’        “Did you kinda help him fit into the dynamic of everything?” Jimmy continued on, and Y/N looked at Tom.        “Not really, no,” she shook her head. “He just fit in so perfectly on his own, that nobody had to do anything. Sure, like helping out with the scenes and advice like that as peers, yeah. But there was no ‘here’s Tom. Now be friends’ kind of a thing. And in the end, I was off in space, and they were kicking Cap’s ass back on Earth.”        Someone in the audience hollered a ‘Team Iron Man’ making Robert blow a kiss in the person’s direction. Given how he wasn't with them to promote Marvel anymore and was there for the re:MARS initiative, it was nice for all of them to catch up.        “Honestly,” he piped up, “I couldn’t wait for Infinity War and then Endgame, to film with this one, and then see us on the big screen reunited,” he affectionately ruffled Y/N’s hair.        “Me too,” she smiled, “though, when we saw Spidey and Iron Man interacting with the Guardians, yet no Juliet, I started to think maybe it was just like a mock scene that wouldn't end up being used. 'Cause by that point, everyone knew she was rolling with the Space Avengers, and maybe it was just to throw everyone off. But filming it was a really amazing experience, ‘cause Juliet hadn’t seen her father for what now,” she looked at Robert for confirmation, “three-four years? And suddenly they meet again, but he has a new protegee and stuff. It was interesting to see how the dynamic would evolve, and how she’d feel about Peter. As evident in the movie – she kinda liked him.”        “So, no rivalry between the two of you?” Jimmy motioned with his hand.    And Tom placed his head on Y/N’s shoulder making the audience aww. “None whatsoever.”        “Good answer,” she patted his head. “I’ve trained you well.”        But as everyone laughed, Y/N was completely unaware of how Tom’s heart galloped in his chest from that small touch and show of affection. Fuck, he was in deep.
***
       “Ugh,” Y/N groaned putting a hand against her back and stretching, feeling the air between her vertebra pop. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”        Robert gently patted her shoulder. “You and me, kid, but we know we can’t. Chris will kill us if we miss the barbecue.”        “Which one?” Tom asked, dropping his suitcase on the floor. “Pratt? Evans? Hemsworth? Pine?”         Robert cocked his eyebrow. “Since when did we have Pine?”        Tom shrugged his shoulders. “Zoe is slowly collecting all of them. And honestly, I wouldn’t be that surprised if they had some sort of a Chris-convention.”        “Chrisvention?” Y/N quirked her eyebrow settling on the arm of the couch.        “Chris-con?” Tom offered.        She snorted. “That just sounds like crisscross.”        Robert rolled his eyes removing his glasses and placing them on the mantlepiece. He had invited the two youngsters to stay with him since they both were like his kids, especially after having known Y/N for almost a decade, and now having taken the young Brit under his wing, he didn’t want the two to sleep in hotels if he could offer the comfort of his own house.        “Okay, you two, off to bed,” Robert clapped his hands interrupting the weird conversation they were having and shooed them up the stairs having grabbed Y/N’s suitcase much to her grumbling that she could do it herself. “Now, the other guestroom is under renovation so you’ll be sharing. Two beds, one bathroom, unfortunately. Need you to be up bright and early so we could get to Renner’s. And no funny business!”        “Ok, Bobert!”        They heard a high-pitched whine of ‘stop calling me that!’ as he retreated before a door closed shut, leaving the two with their eyes rolling and heads shaking.        “I swear, he’s such a diva,” Y/N joked bringing her suitcase in and dropping it on top of the bed. “The Marvel fame’s really gotten to his head.”        “I know!” Tom exasperated in that same ‘I don’t actually mean it’ tone. “It’s like – chill it, Rob!”        Y/N snorted and zipped open her bag pulling out a set of pyjamas consisting of an incredibly old and stained shirt with some shorts. “Rob?”        “I know,” he wrinkled his nose. “Regretted that as soon as I said it.”        She hummed listening to how Tom unpacked a few of his things and gentle music erupted all around them when he hooked his phone to the speaker.        “Any requests, m’lady?” he said in a very much so overly exaggerated British accent which Y/N didn’t think was possible, seeing as he was, well, already British.        “Why yes, I do actually,” she spun around, her bag of toiletries pressed against her chest as if it was her palm. “Let it be ‘Bowling for Soup’ – ‘Here’s Your Fricking Song’.”        Tom bowed and typed in the name. “As the lady wishes.”        With the upbeat track of late 2000s punk-rock, Y/N skipped to the bathroom and started to get ready for the night. Without even thinking the two had engaged in a sing-along, and she even held her toothbrush as a microphone.        “I get drunk and you get pissed!” she screamed, and Tom responded, “You start dreaming I don’t exist!”        “I say yes, and you say no!”        Without missing a beat, he sang, “Like Katy Perry says, you’re Hot and Cold!”        “With all the shit that we’ve been through, this the best that I can do!” they sang in unison, Y/N almost choking on her toothpaste. “Can I still get lucky tonight?”        Cackling she entered the bedroom and bowed in front of Tom. “The bathroom’s all yours, kind sir.”        The pure happiness on Y/N’s face was a sight Tom never wanted to forget. It was just the way her Y/E/C eyes lit up, that sparked his own joy and released a horde of butterflies to trash around his stomach.        Venturing away from Y/N he released a shaky breath and looked at himself in the mirror.        “Pull yourself together,” Tom muttered to his reflection as if the counterpart could actually take charge and calm him down.        The music still played switching from one song to another as he brushed his teeth and washed his face from all the makeup that had been caked on his skin for the show. With satisfaction, Tom watched as the beige and brown colours went down the drain with the running water, freeing him from its confines and bringing back his own face        Sure, there were impurities. Acne spots, little pimples pushing to the surface, a scar here or there. Usually, when he was around people without them covered, Tom could feel a bit insecure, as if each and every person had a magnifying glass to their eye and were focusing in on just those things. But with the people he was comfortable with, the people he trusted and loved, there was none of that because more likely than not, he had seen them in that same kind of state.        Or in Y/N’s case, with her face covered by a white spot-treatment mask making her look like a weird version of a Dalmatian. She was sat against the bed’s headboard with a book in her lap (her usual state) and sweet melodic music Tom recognized to be the soundtrack for ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ wafted around her.        “Getting in the mood?” he asked moving to rest on his own bed, acting as if his heart wasn’t beating a mile a minute.        “Kinda,” Y/N muttered through pursed lips. “In the movie, the scene where Tristan and Yvaine are up in the clouds they spent so much more time with the Captain, where in here,” she pointed with her chin to the pages of ‘Stardust’, “it’s barely been two pages, and they’re already off. And his name isn’t even Shakespeare!”        “What outrage!” Tom mocked and received a pillow in the face for that, phone dropping to his lap. “Rude much?” he threw it back, but Y/N easily caught it.        “Captain Shakespeare is my favourite character!”        “And you still have the movie to see him in,” Tom’s eyebrow rose. She had nothing but a groan as her response.        Y/N read for a bit more while he distracted himself with social media, but it wasn’t long when she placed a candy wrapper as her bookmark and turned off the bedside lamp.        “ ‘Night, Tom,” Y/N yawned and hugged a pillow closer to her chest.        “ ‘Night, Y/N,” he replied, watching her relaxed features for a bit, before residing to the night himself.     Nothing but the moon and stars twinkled outside, illuminating the bedroom with a pale-ish glow, and while he waited for sleep to claim him, Tom watched Y/N rest, her body cast over with the moonlight making him think she was some sort of a princess from a fairytale under a spell, and the glimmer was showing him the way to break the curse.     The dead silence of the night was interrupted by his soft voice uttering her name.        “Y/N?”        “Yeah?”        “Are you awake?”        She snorted and turned on her back. “Given how I just responded to you, yeah. I’d say I’m awake.”        “I dunno,” Tom chuckled. “You could be sleep talking.”        “Then I must be a pretty bomb-ass coherent sleep talker,” he saw her put a hand behind her head. “What’s up?”        “I can’t sleep.”        "Why not?”        “ ‘S just… I dunno… It’s stupid…”        “Well, it’s not that stupid if you’re losing sleep over it,” Y/N propped herself on her elbow to get a better look at Tom. Even in the complete darkness, she could distinguish the worry in his face and what seemed to be embarrassment. “I won’t judge.”        With one last huff, Tom relented. “It’s just when we were in England doing press, I could go home, and sleep, and Tess always slept next to me. I dunno… I just guess I miss something warm to cuddle next to… told you it was stupid.”        “No,” came Y/N’s instant response. “It’s not stupid at all. If you wanna hear something stupid, is that when I first got the role of Juliet, which was my first role like ever, I slept in Evans’s trailer for like three weeks, 'cause he had Dodger with him, and I had forgotten Huks home. Took a while for it to arrive, so I had to improvise.”        She saw his eyebrow raise. “Huks?”        “It’s a plushie husky. Couldn’t go to sleep without it… in fact, I still have worse sleep if it’s not with me than when it is. So, no. I don’t think missing Tessa or her cuddling with you is a stupid reason to be unable to fall asleep.”        Tom just wanted to scream out that it was the most adorable thing ever, and that Y/N had to stop before his heart did, but before he could even mutter that her reason wasn’t stupid either, she managed to speak up first.        “Do you maybe wanna sleep next to me? Not in a weird kinda way, just… you know… you said you miss something warm next to you...”        “Are you sure? ‘Cause I don’t want you to d-“        “Stop worrying and get under the covers,” Y/N hissed but she was smiling as she did so, waving him to come to her bed. “Though, I do have to warn you – I’m a very violent sleeper,” she said scooting to the side.        “How does… that work?”        “It means,” she grunted pushing a bit further to the edge and settling down as Tom slipped beneath her bedding, “that I might just, unconsciously kick you, and no matter how far you sleep from me, you’ll end up either on the very edge of the bed or on the floor.”        “Also,” Y/N extended a hand, “this is you promising not to sue me for whatever damages my sleeping-self might cause you. A broken nose or a rib – awake me is not at fault.”        Tom clasped her hand and sighed. “And here I was getting ready to cash in.”        “Sucks to be you then, cause this deal is unbreakable,” she shrugged and gave him one last smile before turning her back to the man and giving a ‘goodnight’.        “Goodnight,” Tom muttered to her already softly breathing form, but he himself couldn’t find rest.        Although he thought it might actually help him to have something warm to sleep next to, it seemed like his brain was going into overdrive, and his heart was about to collapse.        She stirred for a second and rolled over to face him, making his breath hitch. Y/N was so close to him that he wouldn’t even need to stretch his hand to caress her face.        “You’re so beautiful,” Tom whispered looking at Y/N’s closed eyes. And unbeknownst to him, her heart almost exploded because although she looked like she was dead asleep, a twitch in her body had jolted her awake, and now she was very much so alert. “I wish I could tell you this while you’re awake… or just in general, I wish I could just grow a pair and do it, but I guess this’ll have to do for the time being. You’re so, so beautiful,” his thumb brushed over her cheekbone, and Y/N had to suppress the hitch of her breath.        “And I don’t just mean how you look ‘cause fuck, darling you are a dream… marvellous… but your mind… your heart… the first time we met I thought I’d have a panic attack because you looked at me so softly, I felt my mind go numb and everything just tuned out of focus.”        “And then we got to know one another more,” he released a barely-there sigh, but Y/N still heard it, “and I couldn’t help myself. I started to fall for you. You had a boyfriend at the time, so I knew I had zero chances, but it didn’t matter to me. I was giving my heart to you every day bit by bit, and it didn’t even matter if you broke it or not, ‘cause it was already yours to do as you pleased.”        Tom released a bitter chuckle, and Y/N could feel him shake his head. “But still somehow I’m too much of a coward and a twat to say how I feel despite it being almost four years, despite both of us being single.” She felt his gaze roam her face and tried her hardest not to flutter her eyelashes. “I guess I’m just too afraid to lose you. In any kind of capacity. I’d rather have you as a friend than not at all… that I couldn’t take…”        That was the thought that made his heart clench the most, and tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. One of the biggest fears, when it came to relationships and friendships he had, was, if he told her how he felt, that Y/N would just shove him out of her life completely. So he surrendered himself to loving her from afar. And he let her love him her own way. It was better than nothing.        Quickly before they to dropped to the pillow, Tom wiped the tears away and finally settled for the night, the weight pressing on him lifted if only for a moment before it would come crashing down in the morning. But Y/N had other plans.     “Do you mean that?” her voice trembled, and Tom’s eyes shot open to see her already looking up at him     “Y-Y/N? I thought you were asleep.”     “Answer the question, Holland,” she murmured sliding her hand up to the nape of his neck and pulling his face closer. “Do you mean what you said?”     “Yes,” the word was a breathless whisper as his forehead now rested on hers. “I mean every. Single. Word. I am in love with you.”     And she needed nothing more than to nudge his head away, brush her nose against his and press their lips together. The two practically sagged against one another with relief that the kiss was reciprocated. Y/N’s hands had gently woven to tangle up in Tom’s chocolate locks, both to feel the softness of them and to pull him closer, while one of his palms had settled on her waist and the other was cupping her cheek, his thumb gently stroking the side of her face. But something just had to ruin the mood, and it was Tom’s laughing.     “What?” Y/N pulled back annoyed and frustrated because that one kiss was just not enough after almost two years of her own pent up emotions.     “Robert said no funny business,” he giggled.     Her eyebrow quirked up. “And?”     “And this is funny business.”     “Oh my god,” she groaned, chuckled and slipped out of the bed. “You’re a literal child.” Smacking a pillow over his face, which Tom easily caught Y/N bounded over to the bed he had been previously occupied and slipped under its covers.     “Wait, no, come back!” he whined reaching over the end of the bed, flopping down on his belly with an extended hand. “Please,” and he gave such an adorable pout that it almost broke Y/N, but no. She crossed her arms and put her nose up in the air.     “Nope,” she shook her head, but even in the pitch-black darkness, Tom could see the smile she tried to suppress. “You thought it was funny kissing me, so no kisses or cuddles.”     “Please?”     “No.”     “Please?” his voice increased with each syllable.     “No.”     And then Tom rolled onto his back and pouted, giving Y/N the best puppy-dog eyes in the world. Like if there existed a contest for that kind of a thing, he’d totally get the prize. “Please come back to bed and cuddle with me?”     She couldn’t say no anymore. She never could and never will be able to say no, and that’s when a realization hit her – he had Y/N completely wrapped around his finger, but she didn’t mind that.     If the kiss and his warm arms wrapping around her waist was what greeted her when she clambered back under the sheets, and his steady heartbeat lulled her to sleep, she didn’t mind being wrapped around his finger at all.     And truthfully, with how huge the grin was that spread across Tom’s face as he kissed her forehead ‘goodnight’ this time for real, neither was he too upset how wrapped around her finger he was.     In the morning he had to remember to say ‘thank you’ to RDJ for the limited space he had in his house. And although he did wake up with a sore in his ribs where Y/N had accidentally kneed him during the night, he had never been happier about a predicament in his life. After all, it’s what gave him the chance to speak his heart.
Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan@nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae
A/N: should I do like a part two of the next day????????
P.S. what did ya think?
P.S.S. my tags are always open. just drop a message :)
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Yours Truly [Part Nine]
Summary: Layla leaves for Minnesota with her grandparents, which allows Sadie and Chris to explore the feelings between them. Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 2115 Warnings: FLUFF. A/N: This fic was previously posted on my multi-fandom account; in honor of OC Appreciation Day, I figured I would queue it all up for your reading pleasure throughout the day! This was a collab with @captain-s-rogers , and I will link her chapters at the end of all of my posts! Some GIFs were difficult to find again, so if there’s no credit, they’re from Google Image Search or from the original post. 
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July 9
Caroline,
I … what do I say? Is it awful that I’m excited you finally got some good sex? Okay, so it’s not the greatest of circumstances, and Charlie isn’t horrible, but Caroline – Chris is perfect for you. If I could handpick someone for you, it’d be Chris Evans! Handsome, obviously interested in politics and the country but not necessarily a straight-up politician. He gets your life but he would keep you grounded in the non-political world, too. OH! And if you guys got together, you’d be this amazing husband-wife team, running the country. Tell me that’s not your dream life!
By the way, stop thinking about what other people would think. I know you! STOP thinking that RIGHT NOW. Neither the media nor the public is ever completely pleased with the President and the way he lives his life, so don’t let that dictate anything you’re doing. Live YOUR best and happiest life.
Okay. I’m ending this letter here because I’ve been watching TV while I write this (Layla left for Minnesota with her grandparents this morning) and I just saw a clip about you and Chris. Hot but … yeah. I’m just gonna call.
Yours truly,
Sadie
Feeling under the weather for a few days after Fourth of July, Daniel told the family they would put off the trip back to Minnesota for a few days. It was no big deal; just more time for Chris to spend with his family and more time for his parents to get to know Sadie.
By the time the morning came for Daniel, Kathleen, and Layla to begin their road trip, Layla was on pins and needles. She had convinced herself that once she left, her father and Sadie would – well, actually, Sadie was pretty sure that Layla had no idea what she really wanted to happen, the five-year-old only knew that she wanted them to be together.
“Sadie,” Layla whispered, coming into Sadie’s room before the sun was even up, “I’m ready to go now.”
Sadie forced her eyes to open. She turned on the light and took in Layla’s appearance: mismatched shirt and shorts, and boots on her feet. Her hair was still a mess from a night of excited sleeping. Sadie chuckled.
“Take off your boots and come up here with me, silly girl,” Sadie said, turning off the light and patting the mattress. Layla did as she was told, cuddling up to Sadie. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too. But I’m going to bring you a surprise from Minnesota. Oh! And Daddy has a surprise for you, too.”
“I do like surprises.”
“Good.”
Layla was asleep again not too long after that, but Sadie was awake for some time after, wondering what Chris’s surprise for her could be.
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Chris and Sadie watched the travelers pull away from the house in the small camper, head down the gravel driveway, and, finally, out onto the dirt road.
“Can’t believe she’s gonna be gone for a whole week. I’ve got a couple of interviews, but I’m going to miss her like crazy,” Sadie sighed.
“Mmhmm.” Chris was still staring down the driveway, arms crossed over his chest. He seemed distracted by other thoughts, and it suddenly occurred to her why that would be the case. Sadie felt a little selfish; after watching Emily leave, no doubt watching Layla leave, even with his own parents, had to stir up some of those feelings again.
Sadie cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, that was probably insensitive of me. Of course you’re going to –”
Chris turned to her and interrupted her apology. “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”
“Dinner,” Sadie repeated. “You mean – dinner. Like a date?”
“Yeah, a date.” His voice read confidence but his teeth gnawing on the corner of his bottom lip gave away how nervous he felt.
Sadie licked her lips, an action borne of her own nerves. “Would this be the surprise that Layla told me you had for me?”
“Part of it,” Chris smirked. “I didn’t tell her everything, but I did want to make sure she was going to be okay if I asked you to dinner. Don’t want to give her a complex or anything.”
“Oh,” Sadie nodded. She licked her lips again and nodded. “Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you tonight.”
Chris’s smirk turned into a full-on smile. “Great. Seven-thirty work for you?”
Sadie nodded. “Sure. I’ll be ready.”
Chris nodded and walked around back of the house to get to tending the fields. Sunflowers would be blooming soon, he had told Sadie the other day, so she knew that tending to them now was as important as ever.
Letting her smile break into an ear-to-ear grin once Chris was out of sight, Sadie headed into the house to write a letter to Caroline.
The phone only rang twice before Caroline answered. The friends went right into a discussion about the news piece covering the pictures taken outside of Chris’s house which hinted heavily toward some sort of affair. Sadie couldn’t believe how relieved she felt after finally having a voice conversation with her best friend after so long.
The conversation started to wrap up, but Sadie knew she couldn’t just let it end without updating Caroline on her life as well.
“Uh, since we’re on the subject of love lives …”
“So I was right then, you got Farmer Pratt to fall in love with you,” Caroline chuckled.
Sadie chuckled, too. “He’s not in love, C. But we do – okay, I don’t know which letters you’ve gotten yet, but Layla is spending a week with her grandparents in Minnesota. Chris and I held hands on Fourth of July – I know, that’s no big deal, but it feels like a big deal. As soon as Layla and her grandparents were out of the driveway this morning, he asked if I wanted to have dinner with him. Oh, and did I mention that he has a sunflower farm? I’m rambling. I need to stop.”
“A sunflower farm? Seriously? It’s like you were destined to find this job and him. So, he asked you to have dinner. What did you say? Yes, I hope. Is he taking you out? Are you staying at the house? I mean, isn’t this technically your first time alone with him since you started the job?”
“I said yes. I’m not sure I’d be capable of saying no. Yeah, except for a couple of times that Layla was in town with her grandparents, it’s our first time alone with each other. I’m still staying at the house because I’m looking for jobs in the area. Is that a horrible idea?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Why am I freaking out? Also, I’m assuming we’re going out. I should have asked.”
“Good, I’m glad you said yes! And I don’t think that’s a horrible idea at all. Looking for jobs in the area is a great idea, especially if things work out between the two of you. You’re freaking out because you like him, he’s technically your boss, and he owns a damn sunflower farm! It’s like he was made for you. But try not to stress out about it. I’m positive that it’s gonna be an awesome night for you!”
“You’re right. I just need to calm down,” Sadie said, letting out a deep breath. “And you know what? I think things are going to be fine for you, too. You and Chris. Together. I can feel it. This is our summer. Or something.”
“I don’t know about me and Chris but I know it’s gonna be great for you. You’re right, though, it is our summer. Or something.”
They both chuckled, promised not to get into the habit of calling each other, and to stick to letters for the most part going forward. Once the call disconnected, Sadie set her phone down on the couch next to her and let out a few deep breaths. With time to herself since Layla was gone, she decided to go into town and find something to wear for her date with Chris.
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At seven-thirty on the dot, Sadie made her way into the front room. Chris was waiting for her there, dressed in crisp, dark blue jeans and a cream-colored button up shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows. It wasn’t unlike his outfit for Layla’s birthday, save for the tie. He had cleaned up his facial hair, but left some scruff behind. His hair was styled with pomade, and he smelled so good, Sadie’s nerves instantly multiplied.
“I brought this outfit with me for interviews, actually,” Sadie said, somehow feeling underdressed in her blue-and-white striped dress with the brown sandal wedges. “I went into town to find something that would work for a date, but I wasn’t happy with anything they had so I just –”
Chris stepped forward and took her hand. “I think you look amazing.”
Her rambling stopped; she didn’t bother to hide her smile or her blush. “Thank you. So do you.”
“Thanks. You ready to eat?”
Sadie nodded. “Yes. Where are we going?”
Chris squeezed her hand. “Come with me.”
He led her to the back patio. A table for two was set up there, dinner on covered plates, and a few sunflowers in a vase in the middle of the table. Chris pulled out her chair for her, pushed it back in once she was seated, then took up the chair across from her.
“I know this probably isn’t what you had in mind when you accepted, but – I don’t know. I got it into my head that I wanted to do this for you and couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
Sadie smiled at him. “Chris, this is so perfect. I didn’t tell you when you told me about what you farm, but I really love sunflowers.”
“Those are the first blooms of the season,” Chris informed her, pointing to the flowers.
“They’re beautiful,” Sadie replied. “Thank you, for doing all of this.”
Chris nodded. “My pleasure. Shall we eat?”
Sadie giggled at his feigned English accent. “Yes, let’s.”
They carried on good conversation while they ate, and continued over coffee afterwards. Chris set up the iPod speaker and let music play quietly while they sat across from the other, getting to know each other in a way they had toed the line on with Layla around.
“I love this song,” Sadie smiled, humming along to one of her favorite country songs.  
Chris stood and offered her his hand. “Then we should dance to it.”
Sadie slipped her hand into his, nervous all over again. “I haven’t danced with anyone in a while.”
“Me either. Let’s see if we can figure it out together.”
As it turned out, after a few moments of stumbling, they found an easy position to hold each other, and swayed back and forth to the music. Sadie held Chris’s gaze as the song began to build up, and Chris willingly stared right back.
“You’re something else, Sadie Coleman. Layla and I always had each other, but you – you filled a hole in our home that I don’t think we even knew was there.”
Sadie shook her head. “You’ve held her together. I just taught her the alphabet and some numbers.”
“You taught her way more than that – academically and otherwise. And you’ve taught me a thing or two.”
“Oh, really?” Sadie chuckled. “What’s that?”
Before Chris could answer her, a clap of thunder sounded from the sky overhead; a shower of rain immediately followed. The couple went into action, picking up the things that couldn’t be left out in the rain and rushed them inside.
With the things on the kitchen counter or in the sink, they looked at each other, and burst into laughter, until the next boom of thunder, when Sadie shuddered.
“Cold?” Chris asked, pushing a wet tendril of hair behind her ear.
Sadie shook her head and blushed. “It’s the thunder.”
Chris slid an arm around her waist. “If I kissed you, would it help you forget the thunder?”
Sadie nodded, the only affirmation she was able to give at that moment. Chris cupped her chin with his free hand, tilting her mouth upwards to meet his.
She was ready for the soft touch of his lips against hers. She was ready for both of his strong arms to tighten around her, pulling her closer. She was ready to find the hair at the back of  his neck and comb her fingers over it while they kissed. She was not ready for what happened when he pulled away from her.
“I love you, Sadie.”
Part Ten
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vspideycaptain · 5 years
Text
The Real War (Part 4)
Reader x Tom Holland x Chris Evans (not a 3-way)
A/N: You’re a newer member of the MCU as you were and actor cast in Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3. Through the shooting process you have come to know the other actors in the MCU and some have even taken an extra liking to you… You find yourself in a love-triangle with Tom Holland and Chris Evans and all the secrets break out at the MCU Reunion party hosted by RDJ. Oh and it’s a karaoke party!
Jake and Jacob spill the beans in their overly intoxicated state and Chris and Tom are furious. THE CLIMAX
Warnings: Angst, as usual. Alcohol and Cursing.  WORD COUNT: 1,748 I don’t not own gifs
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On my way back to the bar for an inevitable second Gin and Tonic I caught a sight I for some reason wasn’t expecting to see. Chris and Tom together. Talking.
I hadn’t necessarily expected Chris to stay where I left him and same with Tom but what I hadn’t expected was for them to find each other in the same group with Jacob and Jake. They were all laughing together as casual as could be which in a way both eased my anxieties and heightened them even more. I found Zendaya at the bar getting refills for what looks like her and Tom as she lifted a beer and a martini from the counter. I met her before she could walk back. “Um. How did that happen?” I asked as and although I might have startled her she caught on to what I was about pretty quickly. “There you are!” She started, “Evans said you nipped to the bathroom! He uh came over to Tom, Jacob, and I shortly after you left him I think. Everything seems fine though! They both seem good.” She reassured me as I looked over at the group of boys all roared over something Jacob had said. “Yeah… No wait for me!” I said stopping her from leaving without me and ordered my second drink.
“I mean this will be fine right?” I asked her, “Like they’re both friends and I’m sure either of them won’t make a move on me in front of the other considering both relation-“ I didn’t want to put that word on either of whatever was going on with either of them and I tried again, “Considering that whatevers going on between me and either of them is hardly out in the open naturally.” Zen nodded in agreement and asked me how my interaction with Chris had gone before and I filled her in. “Wow… (Y/N) I have to say if there is one thing you can get out of tonight, neither of them are playing around. They’re both definitely into you.” She took a sip of her martini before finishing, “How are you feeling? Any other realizations?”
My drink was finally delivered but neither of us made our way back to group right away, giving myself the chance to answer her question. “To be honest everything has just confirmed how I already felt about the both of them. Tom made me laugh at his silliness even after just one drink and then gave me butterflies when he said that he was happy to see me and hell I am so attracted to him.. with the way he well… looks… he looks so sexy tonight.” I took a deep breath after my rambling and sipped away at the gin again before continuing while Zen was potentially holding hers and Tom’s drink. “But Chris… Well.. Fuck! He made me laugh too when he made fun of me and then butterflies flipped throughout my stomach whenever he looked at me and I was so turned on from just his finger playing at my wrist that I had to leave before I lost myself!”
I huffed violently in annoyance as I turned to my drink again and Zendaya gave me a caring look before gesturing to head over to the guys. She didn’t even have to articulate her advice. I knew that the next step was to get back into the party to see what would happen next. As we approached Z darted straight for Tom with his third drink and I absent-mindedly followed at her heels again. “What took so long?” he asked clearly a little more intoxicated since that last time I had seen him. He had been trying to slim down for his next spidey movie so he his alcohol tolerance was much lower than I think he was used to. After he asked his question Zendaya answered him, “Girls stuff. Nothing to worry about.” And she stepped aside and revealed me standing behind her and he practically let out an audible ‘Oh’ as my presence surprised him and put the widest smile on his face. “Oh okay, no biggie!” He said changing his attitude as I took my spot in the circle of people.
It was my plan to put myself between Jacob and Jake but they were too busy putting their arms around each other like a bunch of goofballs pretending to be looking up at the stars together, even though they were inside and could only see the various colored lights flash on the ceiling. Zendaya giggled at their silliness as Tom and Chris put their focus on me as I took my place hesitantly between the two of them. “You alright?” Chris shouted over Mark Ruffalo sing-yelling Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money. I glanced over at Ruffalo for a split second to buy myself more time before answering and by doing so I caught Tom giving me a very obvious worried look. I clearly wasn’t being a good actress in this moment. The both could tell something was up with me.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine!” I started then raised my volume so the whole group could hear, “I just can’t decide what I’m going to sing?” That was only half a lie. That might not have been what I was worrying about in the moment but it was something in the back of my mind. This was a karaoke party after all. Jake and Jacob snapped out of their games and weighed in on the conversation. “You? You’re gonna sing?” Jacob blurted out, it was now clear to me that he was nearly obliterated from the alcohol at this point. “Yes… I sing… Just not confidently….” I said half in defense and half in embarrassment. Jake drops his jaw like this was the biggest news he’s ever heard. “WHAT? You HAVE to sing! What are you gonna sing?” He asked as he wobbled a little, he was undoubtably on the same level as Jacob.
I laugh shaking my head at the two of them, “I don’t know… I just said that.” And when I finished instinctually turned to Chris to get his reaction. I watched as he had one hand over his eyes laughing to himself when I felt a hand on the other side of me, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen out of my pony tail behind my ear. I followed the hand and up the arm to find it was Tom’s hand. I couldn’t help but get those goosebumps again, every time he did something like this, something so careful and sweet it made my heart jump but then I remembered that Chris was right behind me. He cleared his throat and even though Tom hadn’t noticed that he did he took his hand away from my face but then said, “You’ll sound beautiful no matter what you sing.”
My mouth was slowly going agape as I had no idea what to do next. If I should just let whatever happens happen to see where else Tom was going to go and to see what Chris might do if Tom tried to make another move. But all our attention snapped at Jacob again, “Of course you’re gonna say that, Tommy! You’re in love with her!”
“What!” I nearly yelled but then remembered our surroundings, many other people at this party could have heard him. “What?” Tom said through clenched teeth and shortly after Chris echoed, “Yeah what?” He had a twinge of anger too but he must have still been trying to keep his emotions under wraps. But then out of nowhere Jake chimes in and points to Evans, “What to you mean what? You’re in love with her too!” And at this I swear my jaw was on the floor. It was Zendaya’s turn, “What?!” She spat out giving the two of them the searing stare I would be giving them if my head wasn’t spinning. Tom set his beer down hard on the table, “Come again?” His tone clearly reaching a new height thickening his posh accent and looking over at Chris who hadn’t done anything since Jacob spoke but look between Tom and me.
“Did Jacob say you’re in love with her, Holland? I knew it!” Chris finally spoke, his chest puffed out and taking as swig of his scotch and soda. Tom crossed his arms, “I-I-I like her a lot! I but-“ He took in a deep breath before raising his volume over the sound of Chadwick Boseman and Jeremy Renner doing a duet to Summer Loving from Greese, “REWIND- YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HER?” Tom was furious and Chris was getting all worked up himself. He finally looked down at me contemplating his answer to Tom. He could easily lie but in that one quick glance down at me he broke. “Possibly, yeah…” He said still to me before turning back to Tom, yelling too, “Yeah! WHAT’S IT TO YOU?”
I swear I could feel the group opening up and swallowing me in, or at least that’s what I was wishing for in this moment. I caught a glimpse at Zendaya who was looking around noticing that some people near by like Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Hemsworth, Paul Rudd and others. She smiled at them trying to play it off like they were joking around. I hoped to God no one could actually hear what they were saying to each other. I stepped back as the continued to size each other up. Tom saying things like, “Aren’t you a little old, grandpa?” and Chris saying, “You’re just a kid, what do you know! She needs a man!”
Just then, when I thought the world was ending I was somewhat saved by RDJ. He tapped on the microphone from the stage before speaking and getting everyone’s attention. “Hi everyone! I hope you’re all having a wonderful time… BUT! A little birdie told me that there is a certain someone who wants to sing but hasn’t had the chance to yet…” I look over to the stage to find that Jacob and Jake had ran away from the mess they had made and gotten Robert to create this diversion. “(Y/N) (L/N) … Will you please grace us with you’re talents on the stage?” Everyone started to clap and so I had no other choice but to get up there and hope that neither of the boys punch each other while I performed.
To Be Continued.... (Part 5/Finale)
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ticklikeabomb · 6 years
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Rio pra não chorar
Pairing : (Chris Evans ; Chris Pratt ; Sebastian Stan ; Tom Holland ; Tom Hiddleston) ??? x Plus Size Reader
Warnings : Language ; grammar/spelling mistakes
Work Count : 1.6k
« Who do you think it will be? Man or Woman? », asked Chris Patt curiously, facing his fellow co-stars. Some shook their head and Scarlett declared smiling, « I don’t know but I hope it’s a woman. » Zoe’s eyes lit up and agreed « Yes, I would love to see a fellow Latina girl in the house. » The others smiled and Robert exclaimed  smirking, « Wait, why can’t it be a guy? ». Elizabeth rolled her eyes and pointed at the male audience that was gathered around for their traditional gathering before the big production starts. « Are you kidding? Look around, we’re overflown with testosterone », she said, making Chris (Evans) laugh loudly. « She’s not wrong », he stated after he calmed down. « No matter who it will be, I hope the person is cool », said Anthony (Mackie).
An unknown fact for the mortal ones was that, considering that the Marvel Studios were expanding their comic characters into movies every year, some of the actors were concerned. Not about their image or all that ‘steal the spotlight’ argument, but about their harmony as a group. The actors became a sort of family and welcoming a new person every time was something. Some were afraid that the dynamic would change or that there would be rivalry between one and the other, or just basically not liking each other. So this new addition that they were supposed to meet the following day, was making some of the actors nervous. Of course, they would welcome the person as well as they could, but still there was a small fraction of concern floating on their minds.
Following the lead of Infinity War, the Studio was going full hardcore again - all the Avengers were on board, along with all of the Guardians of the Galaxy, Dr Strange, Black Panther, Ant-Man and the Wasp and of course let’s not forget the Goth God, Loki himself. To say that adding a brand new character to the picture was insane, it was. But Marvel being Marvel they knew what they were doing and couldn’t wait to introduce the newbie.
9 am sharp the next day, all the actors were gathered around the directors, and again Marvel went hardcore. Anthony Russo, Joe Russo AND Taika Waititi were working together to direct the most anticipated movie of the year. After everyone greeted, the directors called silence and asked them to sit down. « Thank you for being present this morning. As you noticed this movie is gonna be huge and we can’t wait to start filming », announced one of the Russo’s. It was Taika’s turn to speak up, « We can’t wait for you to meet your new co-star. She’s gonna blow… ». The girls cheered loudly and did small signs of victory. « Blow our what? », asked RDJ amused, making everyone laugh at his innuendo. Taika smirked and replied « Guys, come on don’t scare the poor girl already. As I was saying, she’s gonna blow your MINDS off. I can speak for everyone that had the privilege to vision her audition tape and let me say she’s badass and it’s her first time ever in acting. »
« Ohhh fresh blood », grinned Chris Pratt. « You know what that means fellas? » replied Hemsworth mischievously. « We get to prank that girl A LOT! », his thick Australian accent came out, making everyone cheer and holler, happy to be all reunited again. Taika smirked towards the Russo’s who were trying to hide their smiles. A smile that could be easily translated as ‘Oh boy, they have no idea what’s about to hit them’. « Anyway she must be here by now », exclaimed Anthony Russo and Joe marched towards the door opposite where the actors came from. He called for the girl and the actors heard her greet him.
When she entered the place, some gasps could be heard among the noise. There stood their new co-star - a girl/woman in her mid-twenties, maybe late twenties, smiling brightly, glowing eyes and skin, her plump/thick and curvy figure in all her glory. « Hello », she said loudly for everyone to hear, a bright smile that could reach the sky. She didn’t seemed phased by the A-list actors in front of her, at the contrary, completely at ease, her voice not showing any sign of stress. « Marvel crew, meet Y/N Y/L/N », Joe announced. She waved at the people in front of her and quickly exclaimed with an amused voice « I know your names, don’t worry » and a sweet laugh escaped out of her.
After the introduction and greetings done, the directors explained the production and schedule plan. Everyone was curiously feeling at ease and relaxed around their new co-star, who they quickly discovered she had a witty and fun personality. The first weeks confirmed their impressions. She was funny, feisty, always in a good mood and cheerful and would absolutely not back off a prank or bet. The actors discovered it the hard way during one of their pranks. Chris Evans was hiding next to her trailer, waiting for her to come out, while the others were hiding and filming the whole thing. When she came out, Chris splashed her with a bucket of water. Instead of being angry, she just started laughing. « Oh you gonna pay for that Evans », she exclaimed. And boy he did. A week later, with the complicity with other actors and Taika, the firefighters appeared on set for an ‘emergency’. She discretely took one of the firefighters lance and opened it and directing it towards Evans. The water jet was so harsh that he fell on the floor, not a single parcel of him dry. « Payback’s a bitch Chris. Told you, you would play », she yelled towards him laughing. The Bostonian stood up completely dumbfounded and dripping wet and after a few seconds laughed too. « Damn, I’m never pranking you again. EVER », he told her and she high fived him.
Everyone was awesome and apparently some of them fond you more than the others. By some it was some - Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, Sebastian Stan, Tom Hiddleston and Tom Holland. What did those actors had in commun, appart from that awesome diversity in names - well they were all single. When they were in position for a fight scene and you emerged on set, everyone turned around. The five Spice ‘Man’ were looking at you with their eyes widened and mouth agape. Seeing you in tight fitting dark red suit and having your glorious thick thighs and ass compressed in such a suit, made their mind wonder to heated places. For this scene, you were positioned in front of all the Avengers, which led half of the male cast to have a pretty descent, alright fuck it let’s be real, a great sigh at your ass. Before the scene began, you turned around and without paying attention you pushed the fabric of your suit a little on one of your thighs because it was way to tight for your liking and the fabric made a slapping sound. Taika put on music and asked you to dance. « What? Why would I do that? », you asked confused. He smirked and declared through a megaphone « To stretch the fabric of your suit a little. You don’t want it to rip do you? » You frowned but laughed.
The song « Vide Gal » by Daniela Mercury was playing and you smiled. « God I can believe I’m doing this. It’s so weird », you mumbled when you began to do some shy moves and then you thought ‘fuck it’ and began to sway your hips to the beat. You even took some of the girls hands and began to dance and laugh with them. The Spice ‘Man’ were looking at you with hungry eyes from head to toe and wishing you would chose them and dance, but you didn’t. Taika cut the music and exclaimed proudly « I think it’s enough because if you keep swaying those hips, there are some that will have a heart attack », and pointed to the guys behind you. You turned around and saw them all blush and you couldn’t escape the small giggle that came out of your mouth. You smirked their way and winked before getting in position for the fight scene.
After a long day of work, you headed towards your trailer and took a shower before preparing yourself for going out with Mark. You put a jeans and a cute top and headed out of your trailer. You heard someone whistle and turned to the source. You gave the responsable a stern look but quickly a smile took place on your face. « Where you going at girl? », Mackie asked. « Out with Mark », you replied nonchalantly. The Spice ‘Man’ frowned at the mention of a male name. When RDJ was about to ask further, the roaming of a bike was heard and you smiled. You waved towards the biker and he joined. « Avengers this is Mark, Mark this is the Avengers », you smiled. He waved at them and looked deeply at Evans, Pratt, Stan, Holland and Hiddleston before asking you if you were ready. You nodded and headed out. « So who is the one you’re dating? The Captain? Winter Soldier? Star-lord? Loki or Spiderman? », he asked smirking. You frowned and replied « What are you talking about? » He looked at you dumbfounded and said « Come on, you didn’t notice the way they were looking at me, like they were pissed. » You laughed loudly and said « You’re delusional dear brother. » He shook his head and continued « God you’re so oblivious sometimes. » You rolled your eyes and said « Whatever. Let’s go, I’m hungry », and took the helmet he handed you. Your adoptive brother smiled and shook his head again. You sat behind him on the bike and looked a last time at the others before leaving. Your eyes landed on the male actor’s strong and deep gaze. In that moment you wondered if your brother’s words were right.
PERMANENT TAG LIST : @arrowswithwifi @poetic-pixie @theshortegg @kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls @prettybubblesintheair @yafriendlyfangirl @marshmallow-witch @ms-cellanies @the-feckless-wonder @cfisher290 @gypsystrangerkeefhawfromtexas @thefangirltheycallviolet @river-fics @honey-kitschlokithotties @lilulo-12 @fanfictionrecommendations-com @spetzerfehn @angieptt @wayward-timetravel-collecter @rikkirikki @ashley17jacobs @lokithedancingqueen @raiprericnitertiodafo @wildsoul1221 @introvertedsin  @robertconradjr  @thesilverlioness @francezka10
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thebachelordiaries · 6 years
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Two Engagements and a Funeral: ‘The Bachelor’ Premiere Recap
So here it is...what Bachelor producers have been waiting for since they created this show: a virgin Bachelor.
There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. As we all know it’s a social construct. Colton is clearly a virgin by choice, and like a girl said on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s podcast, he’s definitley gotten a bunch of bl*w j*bs in his life.
It’s annoying when people fixate on someone’s virginity. Kind of like during my freshman year of college when every guy I rejected would tell me I’m going to “die a virgin.” Well jokes on them because I’m still alive, but I digress.
What’s the opposite of 10 pounds of sh*t in a 5 pound bag? Whatever that word is, it perfectly described episode 1 of The Bachelor. The premiere was 90 minutes of content strung out into three hours. It’s not like my time is precious, but if you’re going to make us sit for three hours, at least keep me glued to the screen.
The only good thing about this unnecessarily long episode was the Chris Harrison montage, which got me my first viral tweet of the season:
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My tweet was like seven likes short of 3k likes, but I’m not obsessing over it or anything...
I enjoyed this premiere when I wasn’t watching random people I don’t know get engaged. It had all the makings of a great premiere: a girl in a sloth costume, some “villain” interrupting Colton multiple times, an annoying amount of virgin jokes, at least two beauty queens, and not one, not two, but THREE kisses on night one. Not bad for a virgin who can’t drive. The only thing missing was the drunk girl, but we did have a Cinderella, so that’s close enough.
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I never know how to write about the premiere. There are 30 (THIRTY!!!) contestants. There’s no way I can write thoroughly about every single one. And it’s not like all 30 of them were memorable. 
A special few got video intro packages:
Cassie— a California blonde who is a speech pathologist (but not really because she needs more education). She surfs and looks like Hillary Duff a la Lizzie McGuire days.
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Hannah B.— an Alabama beauty queen who seems cracked out on too much coffee, but for some reason I really like her. She felt the need to mention she only kissed four guys despite not being a virgin. Children, keep some things to yourself, ok?
Katie— She’s a dancer from the “east coast.” I like how The Bachelor just glosses over the northeast, but focuses heavily on someone’s southern roots. Rude!
Heather— her occupation is “Never Been Kissed.” That’s all you will ever need to know about her. If producers don’t force her to kiss Colton by at least episode two and then change her occupation to “Been Kissed,” then they failed at their jobs.
Onyeka— She comes from a Nigerian family and claims she “doesn’t care” what people think of her. I highly doubt that.
Nicole— Why do I just want to give her a hug? Nicole hails from Miami, so she’s bilingual with a nice accent. Also, her brother has autism and she says they’re a “package deal.” Be still my heart.
Kirpa— The dental hygiene jokes have been played out. I want no further mention of her profession from here on out. 
Demi— Here we go. We found the girl who is carrying this season. Demi is a little firecracker whose mom is in prison. Her mom is expected to get out soon. Could you imagine that hometown date? The Bachelor may finally get its Emmy.
Memorable limo entrances
Demi was first out the limo, which means she may be a strong contender. She said she hasn’t dated a virgin since “she was like 12″ which is like, kind of concerning? I hope she wasn’t serious, or else I’m gonna like, call the cops. She seems very humble.
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Caelynn, who was Miss USA first runner-up (WTF is she doing on this show?), came out the limo in her “Miss North Carolina” sash, but turned it to reveal a “Miss Underwood” on the other side. I guess that means she’s vying to become Colton’s sister.
Sydney quit her job to come here and somehow thinks she made the right choice. Big mistake. Huge.
Cassie came out in a floral dress that seemed way too casual for the occasion, and also out of season. She is however clearly getting a good edit considering the lovey-dovey music that accompanied her entrance.
Kirpa just looked classically beautiful. She had her hair french-braded, which in a world of beachy waves was nice to see. Also she wore a gorgeous sparkly purple dress. I was a fan.
Kaitlyn came out carrying a balloon that looked like an apple. She popped it and told Colton, “I just popped your cherry,” however we all know it wasn’t a cherry balloon.
Katie did a V-card card trick.
Alex came out like a sloth— literally and figuratively. She wore a sloth costume and moved/spoke at a very slow pace. I know some people enjoyed this bit, but I personally did not.
Tracy, a wardrobe stylist, called herself the “fashion police” yet wore a cutoff wife beater. Is it possible for her to arrest herself? 
Bri— we all got to see her limo entrance leading up to the premiere as it was promoted on social media. And her entrance went extremely viral: she pretended to have an Australian accent to “do what she can to stand out.” I respected her hustle.
Catherine brought Lucy her 10-year-old Pomeranian with her. She is the Real Housewife of the Bachelor Mansion and obviously this season’s villain.
Important stuff that happened inside the mansion
Colton kissed three girls (3! THREE!) By Hannah B.’s standards, he just needs to kiss one more girl and then he’s no longer a virgin. I call that basic math. He kissed Caelynn, Katie and Hannah G. I will admit Katie looked very thirsty for that kiss. She was very much up all in his personal space. Colton also looked like he wanted to kiss Cassie, but she wasn’t really giving him the opportunity. He kissed Hannah G. after he gave her the first impression rose. I don’t want to brag, but I knew he was going to give it to her after they first spoke.
Side bar: Hannah G. looks like and has mannerisms similar to Heidi Pratt. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I feel a major relief after it clicked for me.
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Catherine interrupted Colton about four times. Clearly this was a produced move, but yeah, this doesn’t make her very likable among the other girls.
Rose Ceremony
About seven girls went home: sloth girl (bless up), some girl who came dressed up as Cinderella, Devin the TV reporter who I knew wasn’t going to last, Tahzjuan, and other girls who don’t matter.
Rose order is pretty important, so here it is:
Caelynn
Katie
Alex B
Hannah B
Onyeka
.....
forget
the
rest
My top 5 predictions based on the first night in no particular order:
Hannah G.
Caelynn
Cassie
Demi
Katie
Wildcards: Alex B, Onyeka, Hannah B.
Wait— I forgot about the most important celebrity doppelganger of them all: Caelynn and Furby
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Who is your favorite contestant so far? Comment below or DM me.
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whiskeyxcola · 6 years
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Yours Truly: Part Nine
Summary: Layla leaves for Minnesota with her grandparents, which allows Sadie and Chris to explore the feelings between them.  Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 2115 Warnings: FLUFF.  A/N: Hope you enjoy the continuing series collab with @captain-s-rogers​! Don’t be afraid to ask to be on the taglist, and please let us know what you think! Also, keep an eye out for part eight, which Ashley will be posting later today!
Tags: @ellen-reincarnated1967​ @crazililwabbit​ @catching-up-with-kayla​ @speakinvain​
Masterlist
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July 9
Caroline,
I … what do I say? Is it awful that I’m excited you finally got some good sex? Okay, so it’s not the greatest of circumstances, and Charlie isn’t horrible, but Caroline -- Chris is perfect for you. If I could handpick someone for you, it’d be Chris Evans! Handsome, obviously interested in politics and the country but not necessarily a straight-up politician. He gets your life but he would keep you grounded in the non-political world, too. OH! And if you guys got together, you’d be this amazing husband-wife team, running the country. Tell me that’s not your dream life!
By the way, stop thinking about what other people would think. I know you! STOP thinking that RIGHT NOW. Neither the media nor the public is ever completely pleased with the President and the way he lives his life, so don’t let that dictate anything you’re doing. Live YOUR best and happiest life.
Okay. I’m ending this letter here because I’ve been watching TV while I write this (Layla left for Minnesota with her grandparents this morning) and I just saw a clip about you and Chris. Hot but … yeah. I’m just gonna call.
Yours truly,
Sadie
Feeling under the weather for a few days after Fourth of July, Daniel told the family they would put off the trip back to Minnesota for a few days. It was no big deal; just more time for Chris to spend with his family and more time for his parents to get to know Sadie.
By the time the morning came for Daniel, Kathleen, and Layla to begin their road trip, Layla was on pins and needles. She had convinced herself that once she left, her father and Sadie would -- well, actually, Sadie was pretty sure that Layla had no idea what she really wanted to happen, the five-year-old only knew that she wanted them to be together.
“Sadie,” Layla whispered, coming into Sadie’s room before the sun was even up, “I’m ready to go now.”
Sadie forced her eyes to open. She turned on the light and took in Layla’s appearance: mismatched shirt and shorts, and boots on her feet. Her hair was still a mess from a night of excited sleeping. Sadie chuckled.
“Take off your boots and come up here with me, silly girl,” Sadie said, turning off the light and patting the mattress. Layla did as she was told, cuddling up to Sadie. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too. But I’m going to bring you a surprise from Minnesota. Oh! And Daddy has a surprise for you, too.”
“I do like surprises.”
“Good.”
Layla was asleep again not too long after that, but Sadie was awake for some time after, wondering what Chris’s surprise for her could be.
***
Chris and Sadie watched the travelers pull away from the house in the small camper, head down the gravel driveway, and, finally, out onto the dirt road.
“Can’t believe she’s gonna be gone for a whole week. I’ve got a couple of interviews, but I’m going to miss her like crazy,” Sadie sighed.
“Mmhmm.” Chris was still staring down the driveway, arms crossed over his chest. He seemed distracted by other thoughts, and it suddenly occurred to her why that would be the case. Sadie felt a little selfish; after watching Emily leave, no doubt watching Layla leave, even with his own parents, had to stir up some of those feelings again.
Sadie cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, that was probably insensitive of me. Of course you’re going to --”
Chris turned to her and interrupted her apology. “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”
“Dinner,” Sadie repeated. “You mean -- dinner. Like a date?”
“Yeah, a date.” His voice read confidence but his teeth gnawing on the corner of his bottom lip gave away how nervous he felt.
Sadie licked her lips, an action borne of her own nerves. “Would this be the surprise that Layla told me you had for me?”
“Part of it,” Chris smirked. “I didn’t tell her everything, but I did want to make sure she was going to be okay if I asked you to dinner. Don’t want to give her a complex or anything.”
“Oh,” Sadie nodded. She licked her lips again and nodded. “Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you tonight.”
Chris’s smirk turned into a full-on smile. “Great. Seven-thirty work for you?”
Sadie nodded. “Sure. I’ll be ready.”
Chris nodded and walked around back of the house to get to tending the fields. Sunflowers would be blooming soon, he had told Sadie the other day, so she knew that tending to them now was as important as ever.
Letting her smile break into an ear-to-ear grin once Chris was out of sight, Sadie headed into the house to write a letter to Caroline.
The phone only rang twice before Caroline answered. The friends went right into a discussion about the news piece covering the pictures taken outside of Chris’s house which hinted heavily toward some sort of affair. Sadie couldn’t believe how relieved she felt after finally having a voice conversation with her best friend after so long.
The conversation started to wrap up, but Sadie knew she couldn’t just let it end without updating Caroline on her life as well.
“Uh, since we’re on the subject of love lives …”
“So I was right then, you got Farmer Pratt to fall in love with you,” Caroline chuckled.
Sadie chuckled, too. “He’s not in love, C. But we do -- okay, I don’t know which letters you’ve gotten yet, but Layla is spending a week with her grandparents in Minnesota. Chris and I held hands on Fourth of July -- I know, that’s no big deal, but it feels like a big deal. As soon as Layla and her grandparents were out of the driveway this morning, he asked if I wanted to have dinner with him. Oh, and did I mention that he has a sunflower farm? I’m rambling. I need to stop.”
“A sunflower farm? Seriously? It’s like you were destined to find this job and him. So, he asked you to have dinner. What did you say? Yes, I hope. Is he taking you out? Are you staying at the house? I mean, isn’t this technically your first time alone with him since you started the job?”
“I said yes. I’m not sure I’d be capable of saying no. Yeah, except for a couple of times that Layla was in town with her grandparents, it’s our first time alone with each other. I’m still staying at the house because I’m looking for jobs in the area. Is that a horrible idea?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Why am I freaking out? Also, I’m assuming we’re going out. I should have asked.”
“Good, I’m glad you said yes! And I don’t think that’s a horrible idea at all. Looking for jobs in the area is a great idea, especially if things work out between the two of you. You’re freaking out because you like him, he’s technically your boss, and he owns a damn sunflower farm! It’s like he was made for you. But try not to stress out about it. I’m positive that it’s gonna be an awesome night for you!”
“You’re right. I just need to calm down,” Sadie said, letting out a deep breath. “And you know what? I think things are going to be fine for you, too. You and Chris. Together. I can feel it. This is our summer. Or something.”
“I don’t know about me and Chris but I know it’s gonna be great for you. You’re right, though, it is our summer. Or something.”
They both chuckled, promised not to get into the habit of calling each other, and to stick to letters for the most part going forward. Once the call disconnected, Sadie set her phone down on the couch next to her and let out a few deep breaths. With time to herself since Layla was gone, she decided to go into town and find something to wear for her date with Chris.
At seven-thirty on the dot, Sadie made her way into the front room. Chris was waiting for her there, dressed in crisp, dark blue jeans and a cream-colored button up shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows. It wasn’t unlike his outfit for Layla’s birthday, save for the tie. He had cleaned up his facial hair, but left some scruff behind. His hair was styled with pomade, and he smelled so good, Sadie’s nerves instantly multiplied.
“I brought this outfit with me for interviews, actually,” Sadie said, somehow feeling underdressed in her blue-and-white striped dress with the brown sandal wedges. “I went into town to find something that would work for a date, but I wasn’t happy with anything they had so I just --”
Chris stepped forward and took her hand. “I think you look amazing.”
Her rambling stopped; she didn’t bother to hide her smile or her blush. “Thank you. So do you.”
“Thanks. You ready to eat?”
Sadie nodded. “Yes. Where are we going?”
Chris squeezed her hand. “Come with me.”
He led her to the back patio. A table for two was set up there, dinner on covered plates, and a few sunflowers in a vase in the middle of the table. Chris pulled out her chair for her, pushed it back in once she was seated, then took up the chair across from her.
“I know this probably isn’t what you had in mind when you accepted, but -- I don’t know. I got it into my head that I wanted to do this for you and couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
Sadie smiled at him. “Chris, this is so perfect. I didn’t tell you when you told me about what you farm, but I really love sunflowers.”
“Those are the first blooms of the season,” Chris informed her, pointing to the flowers.
“They’re beautiful,” Sadie replied. “Thank you, for doing all of this.”
Chris nodded. “My pleasure. Shall we eat?”
Sadie giggled at his feigned English accent. “Yes, let’s.”
They carried on good conversation while they ate, and continued over coffee afterwards. Chris set up the iPod speaker and let music play quietly while they sat across from the other, getting to know each other in a way they had toed the line on with Layla around.
“I love this song,” Sadie smiled, humming along to one of her favorite country songs.  
Chris stood and offered her his hand. “Then we should dance to it.”
Sadie slipped her hand into his, nervous all over again. “I haven’t danced with anyone in a while.”
“Me either. Let’s see if we can figure it out together.”
As it turned out, after a few moments of stumbling, they found an easy position to hold each other, and swayed back and forth to the music. Sadie held Chris’s gaze as the song began to build up, and Chris willingly stared right back.
“You’re something else, Sadie Coleman. Layla and I always had each other, but you -- you filled a hole in our home that I don’t think we even knew was there.”
Sadie shook her head. “You’ve held her together. I just taught her the alphabet and some numbers.”
“You taught her way more than that -- academically and otherwise. And you’ve taught me a thing or two.”
“Oh, really?” Sadie chuckled. “What’s that?”
Before Chris could answer her, a clap of thunder sounded from the sky overhead; a shower of rain immediately followed. The couple went into action, picking up the things that couldn’t be left out in the rain and rushed them inside.
With the things on the kitchen counter or in the sink, they looked at each other, and burst into laughter, until the next boom of thunder, when Sadie shuddered.
“Cold?” Chris asked, pushing a wet tendril of hair behind her ear.
Sadie shook her head and blushed. “It’s the thunder.”
Chris slid an arm around her waist. “If I kissed you, would it help you forget the thunder?”
Sadie nodded, the only affirmation she was able to give at that moment. Chris cupped her chin with his free hand, tilting her mouth upwards to meet his.
She was ready for the soft touch of his lips against hers. She was ready for both of his strong arms to tighten around her, pulling her closer. She was ready to find the hair at the back of  his neck and comb her fingers over it while they kissed. She was not ready for what happened when he pulled away from her.
“I love you, Sadie.”
Part Ten
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s3venpounds · 7 years
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1-50
damn seriously whos doin this fam. like im enjoying myself but im not sure yall even care at this point lmaooooo 
1. have you ever been in love?
i’d like to think yes. if im wrong ive got a HUGE storm coming. pretty sure im in love atm who knows tbh.
2. what are your favourite colours and why?
a sort of lilac shade of purple. idk. 2 reasons i guess. i remember in a video i saw purple is the best color to stand out in terms of cartoons and clothing so thats how they get some villains to stand out so im like heck yeah attention ! lololol that and the color itself just seems “soft” idk
3. who was the last person you held hands with?
UHHHHHHH CK.
4. what is your zodiac sign?
Taurus stubbornly proud.
5. how many times have you read your favourite book?
6 times.
6. what are your favourite films?
how to train your dragon. treasure planet. high school musical series. hercules. pacific rim.big hero 6
7. what kind of weather do you like?
rain. lots of it. or just sunny or slightly cloudy with  ALOT of wind. i love wind. it makes me sleepy.
8. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
sun sets. crazy mindsets and shenanigans happen once the sun sets. but sunrises are good for waking up to while cuddling.
9. what kind of weather represents who you are as a person?
a flood. literal flood warnings. overbearing, extra, clings to the area long after its done. damages everything a little bit. everything is dirty afterwards and everyone is highly annoyed. some idiot decided to swim
10. what’s your favourite animal?
avians. most birds really. i just REALLY want to fly without the aid of a huge plane or something. like squirrel suits or jetpacks
11. what is your favourite song right now?
Lie to me George Nozuka
12. what is your favourite song of all time?
uhm no. I actually don’t show everyone this song because its special to me so i only show it to people who are either close friends or lovers.
13. do you like sunny days or rainy days better?
rainy days. most def.
14. have you ever been heartbroken?
yeah. 
15. what does the perfect kiss feel like?
it feels like every other kiss from every other person doesn’t compare. the lips feel like theyre in the right place. times seems to stop. nothing around seems to matter. past present and future intertwine and creates a phenomenon around you two and suddenly you aren’t aware of anything but the feel of their lips, how warm they are and how fast your heart is beating.
16. what is your favourite poem?
i don’t have a specific poem in mind but i loved a bunch of poems from lang leav’s love and misadventure
17. who are you most inspired by?
a multitude of people. depends on what youre asking about. say if its volleyball im most inspired by the manga characters from haikyuu most notably hinata shoyo because he loves to fly. if its in terms of how physically fit i am it would most likely be chris pratt. its different things and people depending on what youre asking
18. are you spiritual?
pfft i’d like to think no. but its a pretty general term so i could be who knows.
19. what is your favourite plant?
anything that eats spiders, mosquitos and any other venomous creepy crawlies or just any bugs.
20. what is your favourite feeling?
freedom. rushes of adrenaline. or just love. passion burning in the form of love.
21. what is your favourite word?
juxtaposition
22. are you an artist?
nope. i would like to be but i lack the discipline and patience for it.
23. what is your favourite flower?
lavender or lilac? idk
24. are you happy?
im not SAD. but im not happy either. im not neither im more of a constant sad and happy. at the same time
25. what are you thinking about right now?
should i confront this person or not on the day of birthday and assuming i get a negative result shall i drink my memories away? most likely.
26. what emotion do you feel most often?
annoyance and frustration
27. what is your favourite season?
winter.
28. are you in a relationship?
nope.
29. are you an introvert or extrovert?
ive been told im extroverted so ill go with that
30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?
stars.
31. what is your favourite scent?
her. she smells like happiness, the adventures shes been on, the smell of comfort. i just REALLY like it when someone im interested also smells delightful. it like amplifies everything. 
32. where do you feel most at home?
st clements park i ‘spose. maybe my computer chair. in the rays of sun in an open field?
33. what scares you the most?
death.
34. do you believe in soulmates?
yes. 
35. what is your favourite thing about yourself?
my singing? i guess? i use it the most and i enjoy it when i get to sing. or say dumb things with impressions of famous characters or actors/accents
36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?
“nice outfit��� 
37. who is your favourite music artist?
ahhhhhhhh its a 3 way between Hedley, Goo Goo Dolls, and Aj rafael
38. what was your first kiss like?
awkward, literally not a full kiss just a peck.
39. are you a sensitive person?
apparently so. i’ve been described as emotional and passionate so i suppose.
40. when was the last time you cried?
couple of weeks ago?
41. do you believe that love can last forever?
not forever. forever seems like a label or chain if i die i don’t want to tie down my partner. if they fall even harder for someone in the next life i think i would be wise to let them be happy. 
42. what do you think happens to us when we die?
this is a bit morbid but i personally think we becomes ghosts but we can’t leave our body. when we pass we’re still conscious and see everything that happens to our body but we can’t move. so we get buried, burned etc. screaming at the top of our lungs but unable to do a thing.
43. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
sadly. yes.
44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?
how many rounds of masturbating can i go before i pass out involuntarily. lmao jk . i set up my dream like “ okay i’ll be in… a zompie apocalypse living in a somewhat safe city having a sort of drama with other survivors and trying to live day by day off the little rations everyone gets.”
45. do you believe in aliens?
it’d be a lonely ass existence for earth to be the only life for a couple billions lightyears
46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
deal with my shit. honestly im a handful.
47. do you find it hard to trust?
no. i sort of trust everyone until proven theyre not to be trusted. 
48. are you secretive?
to an extent yeah. anyone is usually.
49. what colour are your eyes?
brown? idk i really dont care ahahaha i’ll let my future spouse deal with that.
50. do you have a nickname?
Ag(silver on the periodic table since yknow. my names silver. >.>), tinman, silver yo yo, silverado, silver city.
okay seriously, whoever is doing this, are you doing this out of curiosity or because i asked for it? lmaooo
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jewels2876 · 6 years
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Chance of a Lifetime - Chapter Five
Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader, Tom Hiddleston x Reader, Elizabeth Olsen x Reader. Benedict Cumberbatch x Reader, Chris Pratt x Reader
Warnings: flirting, sexual innuendos
Summary: You are doing your first big interview with the Avengers cast ahead of the upcoming untitled film. Hilarity and flirting ensues.
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Previously:
“Those two are either the best of friends or secretly dating; my money’s on both,” you lean over to Evans to say. Except you don’t have to lean too far as your elbow collides with his firm, muscular chest. “Oops!” Evans laughs quietly and gives you a big bear hug. “They’re just big goofs.” He looks down at you; even in heels you don’t match up with his 6’ frame. “So, um…, about that number?” He raises his eyebrows and gives you a heart-melting smile.
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You look up into his baby blue eyes; a warm smile crossed your face before you take a deep sigh. “I would normally jump at the chance, don’t get me wrong! I just want to be sure I’m being fair to everyone, considering this silly bet.” You emphasize that last point with an amused eye roll. 
Evans grins at you and drops a chaste kiss on your cheek. “Well, you know how to find me,” he winks and leaves.
You take another deep breath. Wow! You fan yourself with your hands; being around a group of them was bad enough, but the electricity you felt just stand by Chris Evans was enough to set every single part of you aflame. Get it together, you chide yourself, you still have to get through Tom Hiddleston. The mere thought brings a smile to your lips.
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The Next Day
The camera man is working set up his equipment again, when he leans over and hands you a small Post-it note; it reads ‘One more day and it’s a wrap!’ You stare at it, while mentally going over your calendar. Today was supposed to be the last day; the last of the stars should be coming in any minute. You shrug and pocket the note. The door opens and in comes the entire group: Tom Hiddleston, Elizabeth Olsen, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Chris Pratt. You great them with a shy smile.
“Hi everyone! It’s so lovely to meet you!” They each take their seats and extend polite smiles as well. Compared to yesterday’s group, this one is subdued. “I hear that all the troublemakers were all in my group yesterday,” you start, “who would you say is the most outgoing on set?” 
Chris Pratt immediately answers. “Me! It’s always me! I’m the goof running around trying to get people to laugh!” 
Tom smiles and answers as well. “Pratt, you’re definitely the funniest guy on set, but I’m giving Mackie the label as biggest troublemaker. He is constantly riling people up and instigating some of the worst pranks!”
“Really?” you look Tom in the eye. “Mackie pointed the finger at both Seb and Evans for that. What is it like having that kind of energy on set?” 
Benedict grinned and replied. “It’s actually a good kind of energy; like when you’re at a concert or a sporting event.” He mused for a moment. “But then again it’s also like a family reunion: sometimes you spend too much time together and you need a break.” 
You chuckle at both analogies. “I actually understand what you mean. I have a big, extended family back in [y/h/t] so I have the complete mental image.”
Elizabeth beamed at you. “I love big families! Being one of six was wild but so much fun! I can’t wait to start having one of my own!” 
Chris Pratt starts poking her arm, “So you’re used to this, poking and teasing and being annoying?” She laughs at him, and swats his arm away. 
You turn to Benedict. “Benedict, being the oldest in the room, and having such a diverse acting history, do you ever feel a bit… fatherly to some of the cast?” 
He looks straight into the camera and deadpans, “All the time.” Then he throws his head back and laughs. “Trust me when I say that I am not the only father figure. I’ve noticed this Tom,” thumbing to his left, “has taken the other Tom under his wing. Hemsworth seems to be giving a lot of health advice to this one,” thumbing to his right, “I feel like I should be taking someone magical under my wing, but I don’t want to give this up just yet.” 
You wink at him, “Marvel always has something up their sleeves; you never know?”
Tom winks at you, “I may have something up my sleeves as well.” 
“Your arms?” you joke. He bends his head down before the “ehehehe” comes out; you take the lighter mood to bring up the bet. “Tom, I have to warn you before you do any more winking or laughing at my jokes.” He watches you a beat, then lets you continue. “Robert and Scarlett created a bet,” you start, while looking at all of them in mock frustration, “about you, Tom, along with Mackie, Seb, Evans, Holland, and Paul Rudd.” No one seems surprised at this news so you ask, “Were you aware of this?” 
Tom’s face breaks into a wide smile. “Why, darling, I have no idea why you would think that.” The word darling has you melting into the chair. God! The accent alone is enough to turn you on. 
Chris watches the two of you; you sense he wants to say something but before you can ask your next question he stops you. “Wait, I totally want to play matchmaker!” He turns to Elizabeth, “These two, they’d be totally cute together right? I mean, the eyes ALONE!”
You roll your eyes good-naturedly as Chris and Elizabeth start humming, tapping their fingers to their chins, as in thought. Your cheeks warm and glance over at Tom; he’s blushing but also still eyeing you up and down. You clear your throat as the camera man signals you to wrap it up. “Ok, guys, I have time for one last question and it’s for all of you. What movie would you have liked to see your character have a cameo in?”
Benedict is quick to respond, “Strange DEFINITELY should have been in Thor! Then you could have seen a real fight between two magicians.” His wide grin is aimed at Tom, teasing him. 
Chris jumps in as well, “I should have been in Thor as well, if only to have gotten over the whole ‘pretty boy’ thing before the rest of my crew fell in love with him.” 
You gave Chris a hearty laugh. “That was an awesome answer!”
Elizabeth thinks for a moment. “I think Scarlet Witch would have been better than Falcon in Antman.” She looks at the camera, “I’m looking at you Mackie!” The whole room laughs with her. You turn to Tom for his final answer. He levels a look at you; internally your body temperature is on high and there’s a tingling all over you’re trying very hard to ignore at the moment. Then his wide smile slowing takes over. “I agree with Benedict about the best fight between two magicians, but I think Loki should have popped up in Dr. Strange. Maybe it could still be arranged?” You giggle at the thought of Loki in a Dr. Strange sequel; it would probably detonate fandoms all over!
“Everyone, thank you so much for coming! That’s all the time we have; this was wonderful!” You extend your hand out but you’re brought into a hug by Elizabeth, quickly followed by Chris and Benedict. Tom hangs back and waves to the rest of the group as they head out. You offer your hand, and he takes it, but instead of shaking it, raises it to his lips. Your hand, and other parts of you, warm and you can feel the slight bend in your knee. 
Tom whispers softly, “I was waiting until later to sweep you off of your feet.”
next --> 
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ohgoditsamy · 7 years
Text
Am I a clean or messy person? Relatively clean Am I a tea or coffee person? Tea all the way! Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Neither Am I afraid of heights? Not really Am I allergic to anything? I hope not Am I an early bird or a night owl? Definitely a night owl Am I an extrovert or introvert? Introvert Am I an innie or an outie? Innie Am I easily embarrassed? Definitely Am I in a relationship? Yup! Am I left or right handed? Leftie! Am I much of a daredevil? I wish.. Am I scared of the dark? No Am I social? Uh I guess Am I superstitious? It depends Am I ticklish? Oh god.. Can I bake? Not well Can I cook? Again, not well Can I curl my tongue? Yup Can I dance? Uh.. I can do the charleston, the macarena, YMCA.. so uh Can I drive? Nearly!! Can I juggle? Lol nah Can I play poker? Lol nah Can I roll my r’s? You bet Can I sing? Well I’m not tone deaf but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I can sing Can I spell well? I hope so Can I swim? Yup Can I wiggle my ears? Kinda?? Do I correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.. Do I have a collection of anything? 50p’s, squashed pennies, cool money Do I have a strong accent? Nah Do I have any nicknames? “Weema” - my dad Do I have any pet peeves? Bad grammar, when people spell it “defiantely”, people who put the milk in first Do I have any piercings? Nah Do I have any strange phobias? Let me think about that one idk Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Probably 50/50 Do I have much of an ego? God no Do I judge a book by its cover? Uh, I guess as first impressions Do I like bubble baths? Too right Do I like classical music? Yeah Do I like clowns? Nope Do I like my handwriting? God no Do I like roller-coasters? Sure Do I like scary movies? Yeah Do I like shopping? Yup Do I like to gossip? Not really Do I like to talk on the phone? Depends who it’s to Do I like travelling? Yeeeepp Do I play any instruments? Piano! Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Of Do I smile at strangers? I try to Do I suck or bite lollipops? Suck, cheeky Do I talk to myself? Yup Do I tend to hold grudges? Unfortunately Do I use earphones or headphones? Earphones, but I prefer headphones Do I use sarcasm a lot? Dunno man, do I Do I want any tattoos? Some cute flowery ones Do I wear glasses? I did for a year? But now I don’t need them? Have I ever been on a plane? Once Have I ever been on tv? Not that I remember lmao Have I ever been to the hospital? Yup Have I ever crashed a car? Not yet Have I ever got in trouble with the law? Not yet Have I ever had a rumour spread about me? Well if it was, I dunno about it Have I ever had braces? Nope but soon I will Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup Have I ever skipped school? Yup, karma got me though Have I ever started a rumour? Idk I hope not Have I ever thrown up in the car? Uh?? I dunno man How long does it take for me to get ready? Not long, I spend most of my getting ready time drinking tea How many relationships have I ever had? Just the one How old was I when I first got my period? I dunno like 12 How tall am I? 5ft 8? What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside? Walking most probably What am I usually doing on a Friday night? Sitting in bed What are my favourite bands? God um, Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, RHCP, Green Day, Gorillaz - idk it changes every 10 minutes What are my favourite flowers? Roses, Daffodils What can I smell in the air? Not much really, maybe shea perfume What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe? Black, blue, crimson What is my appearance like? Pale complexion, brown hair, blue eyes What is my culture? Idk, white british? Is that right? What is my current wallpaper on my phone? A collage of the same picture of my boyfriends face What is my full name and why did I get it? Amy Helen Blackford, because my parents chose it lmao What is my greatest strength? Lmao probably art, I’m just mediocre at everything What is my greatest weakness? Nerves. What is my guilty pleasure? The 80s What is my Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw What is my most expensive piece of clothing? Uh a pair of duck egg coloured docs at a guess What is my most heavily used makeup product? Revolution Flawless Matte 2 What is my most used phrase? Currently “lmao” or “man” cause I’m a generic piece of shit What is my most used word? I don’t really have a personal word count so.. What is my personality like? A bit bland, occasionally funny, easily pissed off, indecisive, persistent, annoying What is my personality type? INTP? Idk I had to google this one What is my religion? Unspecified, I’m not bound to a religion and I as never baptised  - who knows what / if I’ll be. What is my spirit animal?  What is my strangest talent? Uh, this is a weird one but if I were to place my hands as if I were to clap them I can make a weird ass fart noise with my hands?? I haven’t got any decent talents. I’m a bit useless. Oh wait I can cross my legs twice too What is my zodiac sign? Gemini What is one trend that I completely bought into? The 90s trend? What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try? Fucking piano exams. Playing piano in front of people. Guitar.  What is something I hated as a child that I like now? God, too many things. Eminem, the colour pink, more feminine things What is the last thing I bought? Other than my final set of driving lessons, I bought my boyfriend Mass Effect Andromeda What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably like 20 hours? 22? What is the pet I would like to have? Just more dogs, oh, and a fox What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten? Spraining my wrist, I’m a bore What language do I want to learn? I know some French, but I’d like to be fluent What video games do I play when I want to relax? Destiny, Overwatch, GTA V.. What was the last book I read? Black-Eyed Susans What was the last movie I saw? Ghost in the Shell, cinema last night What word do I always use as an exclamation? FUCK! What word do I always use to describe something great? Like anything positive, it can range from “cool” to “HOLY SHIT” Where do I currently live? Near Leicester, UK Which is my favourite season? Summer / Autumn
Favourites
What is my favourite accent? French, Russian, posh British (Southern), German, Italian.. most accents really What is my favourite animal? Just dogs, I fucking love dogs What is my favourite band? I dunno this! It changes every 10 minutes! What is my favourite childhood book? I had this giant bumper Disney book  What is my favourite colour? Pastel pink, blues, yellows, greens What is my favourite drink? TEA. What is my favourite flavour of ice cream? Vanilla What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day? Soup What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day? Depends, if it’s hot then ice cream! What is my favourite number? 19, no reason it’s just a nice number What is my favourite place on the planet? Scotland What is my favourite radio station? Radio X What is my favourite sandwich? Ham, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and salsa (specifically Subway #NotSpon) What is my favourite snack? Tea and biscuits What is my favourite song? Currently Love by Lana Del Rey What is my favourite swear word? Fuck. It just fits every situation. What is my favourite word? I just came across the word “Idiosyncratic” meaning distinctive, individual and I love it. What is my favourite thing to wear? It’s generic but mom jeans, they’re comfortable as fuck and I have a pair with flowers on so they’re super pretty !
People
Do I remember the day I met …? My boyfriend. The day I met him. Hell yeah he was a weird kid standing on a table - he shook up an energy drink (specifically Rockstar Guava which I happen to love) and stabbed it with a pin so it spirted out. He continued to do this for a few days. Little did I know it was actually to get my attention specifically. How are my mother and I similar and different? We looked exactly the same at the age of 5. However she is very quick to judge people I am not so What are the compliments I have given other people? I like your outfit, makeup, eyes, hair, smile, eye colour, music taste, art skills What are the compliments people have given me? Nice outfit, You’re pretty What do my best friend and I have in common? We’re both gemini and left-handed. This is also my boyfriend. I have a few other close friends but idk if they consider me as close What gifts would I like to give everyone? Everything they want. Paints, anything yellow, games, clothes, anything. What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose? Bob Ross Where is my best friend? At work, sucks to be him. Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Leo DiCaprio, um.. Which teachers inspired me the most? None of my school teachers Who are my favourite characters? From what TV shows? Tony Stonem, Cassie Ainsworth - Skins. I can’t think of any film ones right now.. Who are my friends? Everyone in my college course, a few I met on Xbox Who are my parents? The ones who.. y’know, made me. Those people. Who are my sisters? Just the one, she’s annoying. Jk lmao. Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met. Kirstyyy!! Met at college and became friends cause she was wearing an MCR shirt that day. Plus all the other folks at college. Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write? I need to fuckin read more. Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky? The bae lmao plus all my friends. Who is my best friend? I swear we have had this question. Who is my celebrity crush? 90s: Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder. But also Kaya Scodelario, Chris Pratt. Mate just anyone if they’re famous and reasonably attractive. Who is my favourite youtuber? Emma Blackery, basically the only youtuber I still have the time and patience to watch  Who is my role model? Probably Emma Blackery Who is my secret valentine? Secret one? Uh, the bae. SECRETS OUT LADS Who is someone I admire? Admiration and appreciate for Bob Ross if you please Who is someone that saved me? Nathan, from my cripplingly low self-confidence and ability to speak to people Who is the most intelligent person I know? This guy called Jamie, can play guitars ambidextrously, is a killer at maths and science. Who is the most supportive person in my life right now? Nathan and Kirsty thx u guys Who was the last person I texted? NATHAN Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with? Idk man who was I just talkin about Who would I love to randomly see this week? Any friends, I love meeting up with friendos! Who would I really like to hug? NATHAAN Who would I really like to punch? NATHAAAAAAAAAN Why am I grateful for …? Who? Nathan? Cause he’s cool, talks about problems n shit, treatin me right  Why am I grateful for dad? Cause he helps me out with a lot of shit Why am I grateful for mum? Same as dad to be fair
Music
A playlist for 12-year-old me - Every album ever written by; My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy A playlist for throwback Thursday, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daydream Believer, Spin me around, Snow (Hey oh), I’m Just Here For The Free Beer A playlist for when I’m angry - Survival, This means war, Lake of Fire A playlist for when I’m in love - Spin Me Around, Love A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party My House, I’m not in love, Earthquake A playlist for when I’m sad - Everybody’s gotta learn sometime, Kitchen Sink A playlist of songs that I have on repeat - My house, Where the girls at,  A playlist that makes me want to dance - Nancy Mulligan, Galway Girl A playlist that makes me want to sing - Mr Brightside, Ruby, Chelse Dagger, Don’t you want me A playlist to inspire me - Anything by Lana A playlist to listen to on the bus/train - Anything by Lana, Twenty one pilots A playlist with the classics - Like a Prayer, True Colours,  A song that really speaks to me - I’m honestly not sure A song that was stuck in my head today - Love, by Lana Bands and their logos - Arctic Monkey’s logo is cool, as is Nirvana’s Song lyrics - “I wanna fuck a dog in the ass” lmao just the funniest lyrics I know from Blink 182 What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle? Semi-Automatic, Are you gonna be my girl, First Date, Blue Jeans, Walk, Lake of Fire What song always brings a smile to my face? Spin me around
Places
A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning - Not that I’ve been there but New York A place where the customer service made me tip £100 - God I hope that’s not a thing A place where the memories were unforgettable - I know too many places for this A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere - Scotlandddd A place where the people restored my faith in humanity - Scotlaaanddddd How to get to my favourite place - A seven hour ball-ache of a drive to..... SCOTTLAAAAANDDD Places I have never been to but want to see. Grand Canyon, Great Wall fo China, Great Barrier Reef, The Phillippines, Canada Somewhere I want to go before I die - Australia / America Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20 - ‘MURICAAA Somewhere I would rather be right now. - Wait for it.... SCOTLAAAAND What are the popular places in town? - In my town? The cinema, Costa? I dunno What is the worst place I’ve been to? Blackpool. Where is my favourite place to shop? Urban Outfitters Where was I born? George Eliot Hospital
Lists
A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands “fav” lmao I’m dying can I just list some good songs here thanks
Stolen Dance - Milky Chance Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey Trees - twenty one pilots Stan - Eminem Human - Rag’n’Bone Man Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran
I cant think of any more
Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).
Fuck my LIFE all of them
Places I would like to see.
Grand Canyon Niagra Falls Cute beaches Mountains
Sounds I like.
Piano Birds Water
Sounds I dislike.
My dad shouting up the stairs at me : ))
Sports I like.
Badminton Basketball
Star signs.
Gemini? Idk?? 
The first 5 things I saw on my way home.
I only left the house for my driving lesson today idk
The first 5 words that come to mind.
I don’t know what to write
The main roman gods.
Is this a test
The main Greek gods.
Zeus. The end.
Things I don’t own but like.
Self appreciation
Things I want to buy.
An iPhone 6S, I have an iPhone 5S and the home button’s broken
Top 10 episodes to watch
Skins S1 Ep’s 1-9, then carry on. Just go past 10 episodes and finish S2.
Top 10 favourite quotes.
“What, you egg!       [He stabs him]”
“Hamlet: O fuck.      [Exit Hamlet]”
I probably have some favourite serious quotes but I forgot them
Top 10 movies to watch.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 10 Cloverfield Lane Every single Harry Potter Girl, Interrupted Every single Star Wars
Techically that’s more than 10
Top 10 people I want to meet.
I’m not even sure, Emma Blackery? Bob Ross if he were here?
Top 10 places in Manchester.
None I want to visit.
Top 10 restaurants I love.
Rossini’s, Prezzo (though I actually recently heard bad reviews so I may retract that one), Zizzi’s, Windsor Tiffin
What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?
The book nearest me is a Piano book and I’m not going to write sheet music on here. The song on Pg. 23 is called Here, There and Everywhere though
What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?
Kids movies - Toy Story, Finding Nemo etc
What tv shows do I always recommend?
Sk-Sk-Sk.. SKINS
What were my favourite tv shows as a child?
Doctor Who (I accidentally just typed Doctor Whom and I’m pissing myself holy shit), Tracey Beaker, 50/50, Raven, Trapped! Drake and Josh
What words don’t seem real to me?
Albertopolis, Bindlestiff
Wish list
That fucking iPhone 6S
Experiences/Memories
A memory in summer
Walks down to a nearby village to have picnics
A memory in winter
A drunkard Christmas party in which I threw up on myself 3 times, twice missing a plastic bag as it was folded over and the sick just kinda rolled onto me.
A memory with my family.
Going to France
A memory with my friends.
Wetherspoons Wednesday!!
I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.
Made me write a half page essay about a poem as I did not answer 3 questions on it for homework. I completed this essay in about 2 minutes having read the poem, she looked shocked I’d done it so fact so I got up and left.
Memories from high school
“Are you emo?” “Are you goth?” “You were a lot of black” None of this I do anymore.
Special moments I want to witness.
One of my mates weddings, he’s engaged
The story behind my first kiss
The most awkward peck on a street corner as a goodbye, however it was good
The story behind my last kiss
It simply just happened, probably again as a goodbye for the night
The stories behind my scars
I have a scar on my chin, about an inch and a half in length due to a birthmark I had removed at the age of 8.
What are the memories I never want to forget?
Basically everything the year I met Nathan and everything this year for these have been some of the happiest years of my life.
What is my saddest memory?
I recently lost a guinea pig I’d owned for 4 years, I hadn’t had the time to give her attention in the latter months of her life so I never really said goodbye to her. I’ll regret it forever.
What is the first thing I remember?
Being pushed down the slide by some bitch called Charlotte at the age of about 2. I was really pissed and blamed her up until about 6 months ago when I realised I was in fact the asshole as I was climbing up the slide. I didn’t see the problem with climbing up it until recently lmao
What is the funniest thing I remember?
Um.. itS SEXUAL SO... I’ll save it for another time.
What was my most embarrassing moment?
I was on a school trip, they took all of our water bottles off us on arriving at the destination. I was parched as I never got my water bottle back like everyone else, and when I did I drank the entire thing and it went through me. On the way home from the school trip I had to stop the entire double decker coach because I was about to piss myself.
What was the happiest day of my life?
Idk meeting Nathan for the first time and going on a three hour walk around my small village
What was the last concert I went to?
Busted, last May
What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?
Breathtaking views from Scottish Mountains?
What was the most disappointing thing in my life?
I’d been wanting a Nintendo DS lite for a good year, every time the adverts came on I’d scream about how I wanted the pink one. Did I get one? No. My younger sister, aged 4 at the time got one. 
What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?
Holy shit there are so many examples, having teeth out etc..  Most recent though was a piano exam I was 100% prepared for, in the exam my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t play.
What was the saddest day of my life?
Finding out my boyfriend had done something which apparently I later found out he didn’t do, at the time I was distraught however.
When was I last scared for my life?
I don’t think I legitimately ever have been
Letters
A note to my favourite teachers. You were great.
Dear Nathan, I would like to tell you. That you’re awesome and you should love me forever lmao
Dear 5-year-old me. MAKE FRIENDS YOU FUCK
Dear 10-year-old me. GET PIANO LESSONS NOW YOU FUCK
Dear 13-year-old me. STOP BEING EMO YOU FUCK
Dear 15-year-old me. WELL DONE, YOU’RE IMPROVING BUT SORT UR HAIR OUT
Dear 16-year-old me. Ur gonna be fine, look at u now, cheer up man
Dear 18-year-old me. Get drunk, go on, ur 2 months ahead of me
Dear 21-year-old me. IF YOU DIDNT GRADUATE FROM UNI I WILL CRY
Dear 25-year-old me. I hope you have a house and your engaged or something decent, please have a job
Dear all the boys I’ve liked. Lmao why did I like you 
Dear someone I need to forgive. You’re forgiven, whoever you are?
Letters to my future children. fuck off you sperm cells
Questions to answer
A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree? No, a person becomes wise from learning from their own mistakes. 
Advice to any if the new kids at sf. At the what?
Am I a bad loser? It depends what it is :(((
Am I a good liar? If I want to be
Am I a writer? Hell I wish
Am I an artist? I mean sort of
Am I good at giving advice? Hell I wish
Am I happy with myself? Good joke 
Am I happy with the person I’ve become? Well from what I was, yes
Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend? Ew no
Books I always reread. Uh..
Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think so, sadness does
Do I admit when I’m wrong? Rarely
Do I believe that people are capable of change? Sometimes, but remember I said I hold grudges so I’d probably not trust you for years
Do I belong here? Belong where? I’m in bed so fuck yea
Do I hold grudges? WHAT WERE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT
Do I have trust issues? Yup..
Do I like confrontation? I can confront people, but I don’t like being confronted
Do I live or do I just exist? Existing, waiting to live.
Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it? Behind, but if I totally had the confidence I’d wanna be in there
Do I really want a cat? Cats are cool
Do I trust easily? What the fuck this is the same question, no I do not
Have I ever been bullied? Sorta?
Have I ever been on a date? I don’t even know lol
Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough? All the time
Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family? All the time
Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy? Idk some former friends hate me, and I hate some former friends. No enemies, no arguments though.
Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Used to see someone walk around my dads house and hear banging in the loft - both stopped around the same time however so they’re probably related.
Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad? Idk, Idk what “the public” think of me
Have I ever had a song or poem written about me? No but how cute would that be
Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT PIANO.
Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes but I never follow through cause I’m useless
How am I feeling? Useless man I should be doing college work
How do I find comfort when I’m sad? Tea and biscuits.
How do I vent my anger? Arguing, shouting.. it’s bad.
How do I want to be remembered? As a decent person
How could I avoid getting hurt? Pretend you’re not. Be sarcastic n fuckin take it like a truck.
How does a (any appliance around the home) work? Well you see, with a vacuum right, you plug it in and you turn it on. Then it sucks away the dirty shit on your floor. Why is this a question.
How I think will determine how I live – agree or not? Yeah, your thoughts impact your decisions, your decisions impact what happens around you.
How would I define my sense of humour? Sometimes dark, sometimes punny, memes, shit.
What am I like when I’m angry? Argumentative, aggressive, talk back
What am I most afraid of? Being forgotten, left behind
What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness? Self-confidence, nerves
What did I like about being a kid? Not giving a fuck
What did I want to be when I was younger? Fashion designer, teacher, hair dresser, doctor, F1 driver, artist.. you name it.
What do I admire most in others? Kindness, generosity, respectfulness
What do I hate about sf? WHAT THE FUCK IS SF
What do I hate most about myself? My huge ass nose, teeth, nerves, personality
What do I love most about myself? The fact my eyes are blue ? 
What do I notice first when I see someone? Eyes
What do I think about selfies? Sometimes I take good ones
What do I think about the most? Tea
What do I think could be improved in the educational system? Pretty much all of it, the way personal and social skills is taught specifically.
What do I think people think of me? Annoying
What do I touch first when I stick my arms out? My dog
What do I wish I didn’t miss? Um?
What do I wish for every night? To be more productive, a cup of tea
What does a rainbow mean to me? Usually that it’s been raining, I’m pretty black and white.
What fictional character do I wish was real? None really?
What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter or something, maybe X men. Have a wand or some special ability, it’d be cool.
What is an experience that has made me stronger? Getting a job which requires speaking to people
What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My half 50p necklace
What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality? Going travelling.. I have no idea how.
What is my biggest what if? What if I’d never met Nathan. Would I be a not talkative emo fuck
What is my greatest achievement? Designing the logo for my local carnival? Designing a company brochure (in the making)
What is my greatest failure? Hopefully not my driving test next week.
What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me? Uh. My killer dank memes.
What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about? My makeup. 
What is one thing I am interested in learning more about? North Korea
What is something that makes me feel vulnerable? My nerves and easy ability to be angry or upset by something
What is the best gift I’ve ever received? My half 50p necklace
What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’? FUcking hell.. the heart emoji. I want to die for that answer, but if I didn’t put it I’d be lying
What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life? What I do when I’m learning something, it won’t be perfect first time.
What is the ideal age to be and why? 18 forever, old enough to be responsible for yourself, young enough to go places and have fun.
What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in? I broke into an abandoned house?
What is the nicest thing about a person? Their kindness
What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far? Switching to Graphic Design course over Art and Design cause the people on Art and Design were shit and I wasn’t happy.
What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far? Being emo aged 12-15
What makes a great relationship? A good balance of friendship, love and lust.
What makes me smile? A good joke, hanging with friends What motivates me to succeed? University, the idea of success
What part of my life would I relive if I could? Most of my childhood?
What part of my life would I remove if I could? The old person part, I don’t wanna be frail, ill and dying unable to do anything and it’s just a waiting game to death.
What question am I afraid to tell the truth to? None really?
What questions would I ask to get to know someone better? What stuff they’re into?
What was I doing at 12am last night? Talking to friends
What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older? More understanding, loving, friendly now
What was my favourite subject in school? Art What was the last lie I told? I can’t remember, who knows, I could’ve been lied to and I don’t know
What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry? My piano exam, having my teeth out, several films, nothing
What will I do in university? GRAPHIC DESIGN BOI I’M EXCITED
What would I change about my sf? My what the fuck
What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die? Uh.. I don’t wanna not ever die it’d be lonely.
What would I change about the world? Be rid of the old arseholes in Government, disrespectful people, terrorists
What would I like to change this year? BE MORE PRODUCTIVE (ironic I’ve been doing this for over an hour)
What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me? Everything.
What would I do in the event of an apocalypse? Probably plan a living strategy
What would I have to see to cry tears of joy? Dogs.
What would I want written on my tombstone? Idk probably something funny like “Active 23 mins ago” or some quote I like
When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd? FUCKING. PIANO. EXAM.
When do I feel most at peace? In bed.
When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone? My french pen friend, year 8
When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have? Several times.
When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret? I don’t think so
When was the last time I cried? Wednesdy, over my FUCKING PIANO EXAM
Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time? uh, in my own house I hope
Where do I want to live? Still not figured this one out
Where is the best place to get pizza? Rossini’s omg
Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere? ‘MURICAAA
Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains
Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Used to just be girls but now both really
Who do I miss the most? No one?
Who do I need the most? Nobody cause IM A FREE WOMAN
Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning? Because it’s me and I’m lazy.
Why couldn’t I sleep last night? Because it’s me and I’m shit.
Why do I hate insects? Because it’s me and I hate them.
Why do dogs hate me and I hate them? Wait what no
Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started? Because I can’t carry something or I’m confused
Would I ever spread gossip? I hope not
Would people consider me a diva? I hope not? I don;t think I am?
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6 Famous People Who Hilariously Trolled Their Own Fans
Some celebrities see fame as tremendous burden and distraction from their craft, whereas others treat it as a golden opportunity to screw with thousands of strangers for no logical reason save “shits and giggles.” We’re talking about such famous rascals as …
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Chris Pratt Trolls His Fans With Bad Jennifer Lawrence Photos
Hollywood certainly made a weird choice when it needed a hot new action star and decided to pick that zaftig fellow from Parks And Rec. During the press tour for the 2016 science fiction thriller Passengers, which starred Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence, fans got overly enthusiastic about the pairing and started “shipping” them. (For those who aren’t up to speed on the internet lingo, that means they want the two to hook up and mash their bits together and make babies.) Followers of Pratt’s Instagram account started demanding that he take more photos of himself hanging out with Lawrence so that they could satisfy their vicarious need to imagine these two millionaires spending time with each other.
And so Pratt proceeded to do what the fans were demanding:
Chris Pratt/Instagram
Over the next few days, Pratt went on to post a number of Instagram selfies featuring himself and Lawrence together. Technically.
Chris Pratt/Instagram
Chris Pratt/Instagram
You can’t argue that he didn’t give the fans exactly what they’d asked for. Still, a bunch of them didn’t seem to appreciate the photos, leaving comments like “Why isn’t she ever full in the pic” or “Why you cut Jennifer out?” Some people are simply impossible to please.
5
Nirvana Would Fuck Up Their Live Shows In Delightfully Stupid Ways
Nirvana are much better-known for their catchy grunge tunes than for Kurt Cobain’s primal screaming, but it’s not like he was intentionally trying to ruin the songs. Unless he was playing live, that is. Here’s a compilation of clips of Cobain mumbling into the microphone, or putting on a fake stupid accent, or sometimes replacing his lyrics with caveman grunts:
youtube
It’s more or less the Charlie Brown teacher voice.
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6 Famous Writers Who Secretly Wrote Insane Pieces Of Trash
Sometimes, his reasons for messing with the audience were almost admirable. In 1992, for instance, Nirvana was booked to play a show in a packed stadium in Buenos Aires. The opening act, an all-girl band called Calamity Jane, had an extremely negative reception, getting pelted with mud and bottles from the audience. This pissed Cobain off, and he considered cancelling the performance, but bassist Krist Novoselic talked him into a compromise — they’d take the stage and do an incredibly shitty job. And so, rather than play any of their hits, the band began the opening riffs for songs like “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Come As You Are,” and then broke into renditions of their least-known songs, predominantly from their worst-rated album, Incesticide. As a finale, they did wind up finally playing a track from Nevermind — the hidden instrumental one at the end that you hear if you accidentally forget to stop the CD after ten minutes. The audience was furious. Cobain called it “one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had.”
That wasn’t Nirvana’s first foray into deliberately messing up their shows. A year earlier, they were invited to perform on the British show Top Of The Pops, but after agreeing, they found out that the show had a policy of playing the music pre-recorded and only the singer’s voice live. As a response, Cobain sang “Smells Like Teen Spirit” like Christopher Walken with his mouth full of marshmallows, the whole time pretending to play his guitar with an open hand like a robotic Disneyland attraction.
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On top of all that, there’s the band’s remarkable disdain for their most famous song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” — which was intended as a joke, a mockingly generic pop song full of nonsense lyrics and a guitar riff openly stolen from Boston’s “More Than A Feeling.” They hated that it became popular and resented playing it so much that, fairly often, they would rile up the crowd by playing the opening riff, and then instead launch into … a bad cover of “More Than A Feeling”.
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Kiefer Sutherland Started Saying “Dammit!” More Often In 24 To Mess With Fans Playing A Drinking Game
24 may have been massively successful and popular, but nobody, from the fans to the producers to the stars, was ever under the impression that it was anything but a TV show based on a gimmick and starring one-note characters and cheap dialogue. It’s entertainment in the same way that Pringles is food — they don’t have to pretend it’s wholesome.
So when fans of the series endearingly mocked its hacky writing, the creators weren’t too proud to play along. Fans put together a drinking game in which you take a shot whenever Jack Bauer repeats one of his ten or so go-to lines, like demanding to know who someone is working for, saying the word “protocols,” or yelling “Dammit!” whenever something irked him:
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In a 2006 interview with Rolling Stone, Sutherland revealed that he’d caught wind of the game and decided to have some fun with it. So in one episode, he made it a mission to say “Dammit!” as many times as he possibly could, even sneaking three into the same scene. In his words: “Boom, boom, boom. And that was just one scene. By the end, there had to be fourteen ‘Damn its.’ And I could just see all these college kids going, ‘Oh, fuck!'” (Which, incidentally, is what Jack would say if this show aired on cable.)
Now, this is the internet, so of course there’s a Wiki page cataloging every single “dammit” uttered on the show. Sutherland’s claim appears to be an exaggeration (his record was four d-bombs in one episode), but it’s true that the show got more liberal with the word as it went along — the penultimate season has 47 “dammits” between Jack and company, compared to the measly 30 in the first.
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Mythbusters‘ Adam Savage Is Always Flamboyantly Lurking At Comic-Con
It’s probably not shocking to point out that Adam Savage, the non-walrus-stache half of Mythbusters, is kind of a nerd. What is shocking is that if you’re a dedicated nerd yourself, you might have met him without even knowing it.
Savage attends the San Diego Comic-Con every year, always wearing an elaborate costume which completely obscures his identity and prevents myth-busting enthusiasts from showering him with questions. He started in 2013 with an Admiral Ackbar costume (including an original mask from Return Of The Jedi), then topped that the next year with an exact replica of the original Alien spacesuit, complete with a facehugger model to cover his face. It was so hot that it required him to wear an ice vest to keep from passing out from heat exhaustion.
In 2015, he attended in a bespoke Judge Dredd costume, though he made himself somewhat easier to recognize by refusing to shave his trademark blonde goatee. On the next year, he went as the main character of the Oscar-winning Leonardo-DiCaprio-mauled-by-a-bear movie The Revenant — that’s right, he dressed up as the bear.
And finally, in 2017, he went as King Arthur, in armor made by the actual costume designer from the 1981 movie Excalibur, with chain mail made for the Lord Of The Rings series underneath. He could have gone as Arthur from the Guy Ritchie movie that came out two months earlier, but everyone had already forgotten that.
Every year, Savage challenges fans to figure out which of the Comic-Con attendees is secretly him, and rewards them with bonuses like free tickets to his panel. And every year, at least one person figures it out, probably by whittling down the number of identity-obscuring cosplayers whose costume could only be put together if someone was earning Mythbusters dollars.
2
The Dallas Stars Wouldn’t Stop Playing Nickelback
Americans don’t care about ice hockey nearly as much as Canadians do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own league. You can catch up on what’s going on with the NHL late at night on Fox Sports on a slow day. Well, if you’re not a fan, you might have missed the 2015 home game between the Dallas Stars and the Vancouver Canucks, during which the Stars decided that instead of playing “We Will Rock You” or “Seven Nation Army” to hype up the audience, they would only play Nickelback. Again and again. For the entire game.
Presumably, the intention was to troll Vancouver’s visiting fans. Nickelback is, after all, a (perhaps inexplicably) widely despised band from Vancouver. Unfortunately, there were as many if not more Dallas fans in attendance, who were just as annoyed by the sonic assault as the Vancouver visitors.
Toward the end of the game, the scoreboard displayed a graphic asking fans to text which artist they’d prefer never to hear again at a hockey game, providing three “options:” A) Nickelback, B) Nickelback, or C) Nickelback. It didn’t matter that the number was fake, because one answer was the clear winner (B, obviously). And in case you were wondering, yeah, Dallas won.
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Guardians Of The Galaxy‘s Michael Rooker Showed Up On The Set Of Avengers: Infinity War Just To Mess With Marvel Fans
If you haven’t seen the second Guardians Of The Galaxy movie yet but intend to, then first of all, what are you waiting for? Secondly, this entry is going to have spoilers for that film. So either stop reading or see the damn movie already.
In early 2017, Marvel Studios started shooting Avengers: Infinity War, the long-awaited film that will see the 200 or so characters from the Marvel Cinematic Universe come together. At the same time, Guardians Of The Galaxy actor Michael Rooker started posting images on his Instagram account of himself visiting various locations in Georgia, where parts of the movie are being filmed, while wearing a cap emblazoned with the Infinity War logo. Hmm, what could he possibly be doing there?
Here’s the thing, though: Rooker’s character Yondu, the blue guy with the whistle-powered arrow thing, dies at the end of Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2. It’s not one of those implied deaths that happens off-screen, either — he slowly freezes to death before our eyes in deep space while Chris Pratt screams “NO!” at him. The film later shows them holding a funeral and turning his corpse into fireworks. He’s definitely dead. And yet Rooker kept posting selfies from the Infinity War makeup trailer, with tape stuck over the logo on his cap that he’d previously “forgotten” to hide.
The obvious implication is that Yondu somehow survived his death and is going to show up to help kick Thanos’ ass in Infinity War. However, Guardians director James Gunn threw cold water on that suggestion when he was asked about it and answered bluntly that “Yondu is dead” and will remain like that “so long as I am involved with Marvel.”
So why the hell was Rooker on the set of Infinity War? According to Gunn, it was all a misdirection. Before the Guardians sequel hit theaters, fans started noticing that Rooker wasn’t on the Infinity War cast list and came close to guessing he was about to kick the bucket, so Marvel had him visit the set and Instagram himself in a branded hat to keep people guessing. Because dreams are meant to be smashed.
S. Peter Davis is the creator of the Three Minute Philosophy YouTube series, and is the author of the book Occam’s Nightmare.
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ticklikeabomb · 6 years
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The Marvel Parody - Chapter 4
Pairing (in the futur) : Chris Evans x Plus Size!Reader
Warnings : Language ; spelling mistakes ; getting political 
Word Count : 1.265
Author’s Note : Some reactions of the cast (beginning of the chapter) were added after @prettybubblesintheair suggested it. :) 
NAME CHANGES -> Peter Quill = Petra Quill ; Tony Stark = Tonya Stark ; Peter Parker = Petra Parker ; Dr.Steven Strange = Doctress Stephanie Weird ; Thanos = Anus…Hope you like it xD
Prelude Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 
Change of scenery obliged, the show paused for 10min in order to put the landscape corresponding to the planet Titan. The small break allowed us to change into our next characters and the audience to relax a little. 
« Omg, this is sooo good. I wasn’t expecting this », said Letitia.
« Right, I mean that « ghost app » part had me wheezing. I can’t », exclaimed Tom Holland with a heavy British accent. 
« Why did they put me as a fucking stuffed eagle toy?! », said Mackie. Which led half of the cast to laugh loudly, especially Sebastian. « I mean, come on! », continued Mackie. « Ohh, don’t whine Choclatchino, you never looked better », voiced Sebastian. At that, Holland laughed and Mackie just gave him a stern look, which led the youngest of the cast to laugh even louder. 
« I’m really impressed by the scenery and their outfits. The details are really on point. And let’s not forget how beautiful those girls are », remarked Brie Larson. « Right, I was thinking the same », the other female co-stars agreed.
« What about you Evans, you haven’t said much? », Hemsworth asked. Everyone turned to their castmate. « Oh, I love it so far. I’m really looking forward for the rest », he said with a wild grin. 
« Is that so. Whyyy? Does it have to do with a certain Bucky impersonator??, implied RDJ. That comment got everyone to turn to the freshly 37-year old, smiling and hollering. « Ahh guys, stop. I’m enjoying it. It’s hilarious. The references are clever and whoever wrote this piece clearly knows what she’s talking about. And besides, that Captain girl really got my Cap mimics», affirmed Evans with a slightly nervous giggle. 
« Dude, admit it. That Y/N caught your eye. You can’t deny it, we saw you looking at her even if she wasn’t the one speaking » - Pratt. « Arrgh fine. I admit. I was intrigued the minute she stepped on stage an hour ago », Evans admitted.
« Oh my little boy growing up so fast », told RDJ.
« Why aren’t we talking about the fact that they renamed me Anus? », stated Josh Brolin playfully.
Everyone laughed at that. Clearly, everybody was enjoying their evening.
The lights were dimmed which indicated that the show was continuing. The stage arbored some wrecked car pieces that we painted in orange nuances to give that Titan planet vibe. For this part, the characters on stage were Sarah as Petra Quill , Kelly as Tonya Stark , Emily as Mantis , July as Drax (invisible) so she will play Anus , Jen as Petra Parker and you as Doctress Stephanie Weird.
Stark, Weird and our disguised Spider were ambushed by the Guardians.
« Who are you? Where is Gamora? », asked Petra Quill
« Ehm, I’ll do one better : Who is Gamora? » - Tonya
« No I’ll do one even better : HOW is Gamora? » - the voice of Drax resonated.
« Where does that voice come from », you asked confused.
« I’m the Destroyer Drax. Because I destroy things and then I tell them my name », the voice responded. « I’m also invisible, when I’m quiet ».
You were looking at your fellow earthlings for help and they seemed as lost as you.
« To whom you respond to?, asked Tonya
« Wakanda question is that? What am I supposed to say : Beyoncé? », Quill interjected.
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The audience was cracking up and that gave the team and especially you a relieving feeling. They were liking it. 
Mantis touched Parker and declared « Oh boy, you don’t feel so good ». « How do you know? »… « Well maybe if you haven’t drank all those juice boxes as I told you not to, you wouldn’t feel so bad », announced Tonya. « Sorry mom », answered Parker. 
Once they established that they all had the same goal - kill Anus, they assembled in order to make a plan. 
« That plan is terrible. Just like your make-up, you should check that », Quill said to Tonya, who gave him an annoying look in return. 
Meanwhile they were figuring out what to do, you were seated on a rock, legs crossed and playing with your enormous eye necklace. Putting in front of your face pretending to be Big Brother watching everyone and grinning. Until you were caught by the characters and tried to look elsewhere and pretend doing tricks with your hands. While doing so you managed to pull out some orange frisbees (p.s. it’s supposed to be the magic coming out of Strange hands).
« Yup, we’ve got some Georges Meliès tricks up in here », you declared. ( Meliès was one of the first french film directors. He discovered by stopping the camera, he could create illusions, he’s basically the first one to invent special effects). Behind those frisbees was a small word saying that the person who caught it, would have a free drink at the bar.
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« Can I throw them? », asked Parker.
« Sure, kid », you handed them over. 
Stark and Quill were finishing their argument when Mantis declared « Miss Stark, is your friend alright? ». They all turned to you, shaking.
« Hey, what’s going on? »
« I was seeing the futur in order to calculate our chances of victory «
« What did you see? », asked Stark
« I saw that we’ve got 99 problems and that bitch is one », you announced.
« Weird », commented Drax
« No, Jay-Z », you replied.
« Ok, you’ve gotta stop those references. No more cultural references for you », Stark said angrily.
You frowned at him « I can’t help it, I’ve got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA », you told him.
« Really, Lamar?! »
« What, I can’t just quote Jay-Z and ignore the master of poesy. That wouldn’t be fair », you replied.
« Touché », claimed Stark. « Fine, you may continue those puns ».
You gave him a smug smirk and winked.
Everyone got in position and you remained on stage with Tonya.
« Weird can I ask you something? - Tonya
« Yes », you replied.
« Well now that there’s only both of us, tell me why so many cinematic references? I mean there are a lot. You do are conscient that half of the audience don’t necessarily get them?», asked Tonya perplexed.
« You know, you can’t trick passion, you can’t fake it. That’s why I can’t hold back on them.
« What about all those puns? »
« What you Americans don’t like jokes? Odd, considering there’s one living in the White House right now », you exclaimed. You knew this part of the show could be tricky. Some ‘ooohs’ and ‘buurnnnn’ were heard in the audience along with hollering.
« You just went there. We don’t really do politics in this building », retorted Tonya.
« Don’t we? Are you sure? Because what we’re doing right now is Art. Those performances that we do is Art. Art is political !  Showing skin as a plus size female is political. Denouncing the inequalities in a dance is politic. It’s fighting the patriarchy. It’s fighting society standards about how as a female you should look like, how you should behave, how you should talk, how you should be sexually actif or not. And that’s what we do here. So yes, I think we do politics and we happen to use the strongest item as a tool : ART », you told.
During your speech, a few people stood up, clapped and cheered. Among them the female cast but also some of their male co-stars.
« Preach queen, preach », you heard Brie Larson yelling.
« I never saw it like that. But you’re right. » - Tonya
« Good talk Stark », you said smiling « And ohh… about the audience not understanding half the references, don’t underestimate them. (you looked at the public) They drink and then they know things ».
« Smooth Weird, smooth. I understood that reference »
At that double pun, you couldn’t help and grinned widely.
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*gifs not mine, credit to owners*
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trendingnewsb · 7 years
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6 Famous People Who Hilariously Trolled Their Own Fans
Some celebrities see fame as tremendous burden and distraction from their craft, whereas others treat it as a golden opportunity to screw with thousands of strangers for no logical reason save “shits and giggles.” We’re talking about such famous rascals as …
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Chris Pratt Trolls His Fans With Bad Jennifer Lawrence Photos
Hollywood certainly made a weird choice when it needed a hot new action star and decided to pick that zaftig fellow from Parks And Rec. During the press tour for the 2016 science fiction thriller Passengers, which starred Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence, fans got overly enthusiastic about the pairing and started “shipping” them. (For those who aren’t up to speed on the internet lingo, that means they want the two to hook up and mash their bits together and make babies.) Followers of Pratt’s Instagram account started demanding that he take more photos of himself hanging out with Lawrence so that they could satisfy their vicarious need to imagine these two millionaires spending time with each other.
And so Pratt proceeded to do what the fans were demanding:
Chris Pratt/Instagram
Over the next few days, Pratt went on to post a number of Instagram selfies featuring himself and Lawrence together. Technically.
Chris Pratt/Instagram
Chris Pratt/Instagram
You can’t argue that he didn’t give the fans exactly what they’d asked for. Still, a bunch of them didn’t seem to appreciate the photos, leaving comments like “Why isn’t she ever full in the pic” or “Why you cut Jennifer out?” Some people are simply impossible to please.
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Nirvana Would Fuck Up Their Live Shows In Delightfully Stupid Ways
Nirvana are much better-known for their catchy grunge tunes than for Kurt Cobain’s primal screaming, but it’s not like he was intentionally trying to ruin the songs. Unless he was playing live, that is. Here’s a compilation of clips of Cobain mumbling into the microphone, or putting on a fake stupid accent, or sometimes replacing his lyrics with caveman grunts:
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It’s more or less the Charlie Brown teacher voice.
Read Next
6 Famous Writers Who Secretly Wrote Insane Pieces Of Trash
Sometimes, his reasons for messing with the audience were almost admirable. In 1992, for instance, Nirvana was booked to play a show in a packed stadium in Buenos Aires. The opening act, an all-girl band called Calamity Jane, had an extremely negative reception, getting pelted with mud and bottles from the audience. This pissed Cobain off, and he considered cancelling the performance, but bassist Krist Novoselic talked him into a compromise — they’d take the stage and do an incredibly shitty job. And so, rather than play any of their hits, the band began the opening riffs for songs like “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or “Come As You Are,” and then broke into renditions of their least-known songs, predominantly from their worst-rated album, Incesticide. As a finale, they did wind up finally playing a track from Nevermind — the hidden instrumental one at the end that you hear if you accidentally forget to stop the CD after ten minutes. The audience was furious. Cobain called it “one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had.”
That wasn’t Nirvana’s first foray into deliberately messing up their shows. A year earlier, they were invited to perform on the British show Top Of The Pops, but after agreeing, they found out that the show had a policy of playing the music pre-recorded and only the singer’s voice live. As a response, Cobain sang “Smells Like Teen Spirit” like Christopher Walken with his mouth full of marshmallows, the whole time pretending to play his guitar with an open hand like a robotic Disneyland attraction.
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On top of all that, there’s the band’s remarkable disdain for their most famous song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” — which was intended as a joke, a mockingly generic pop song full of nonsense lyrics and a guitar riff openly stolen from Boston’s “More Than A Feeling.” They hated that it became popular and resented playing it so much that, fairly often, they would rile up the crowd by playing the opening riff, and then instead launch into … a bad cover of “More Than A Feeling”.
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4
Kiefer Sutherland Started Saying “Dammit!” More Often In 24 To Mess With Fans Playing A Drinking Game
24 may have been massively successful and popular, but nobody, from the fans to the producers to the stars, was ever under the impression that it was anything but a TV show based on a gimmick and starring one-note characters and cheap dialogue. It’s entertainment in the same way that Pringles is food — they don’t have to pretend it’s wholesome.
So when fans of the series endearingly mocked its hacky writing, the creators weren’t too proud to play along. Fans put together a drinking game in which you take a shot whenever Jack Bauer repeats one of his ten or so go-to lines, like demanding to know who someone is working for, saying the word “protocols,” or yelling “Dammit!” whenever something irked him:
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In a 2006 interview with Rolling Stone, Sutherland revealed that he’d caught wind of the game and decided to have some fun with it. So in one episode, he made it a mission to say “Dammit!” as many times as he possibly could, even sneaking three into the same scene. In his words: “Boom, boom, boom. And that was just one scene. By the end, there had to be fourteen ‘Damn its.’ And I could just see all these college kids going, ‘Oh, fuck!'” (Which, incidentally, is what Jack would say if this show aired on cable.)
Now, this is the internet, so of course there’s a Wiki page cataloging every single “dammit” uttered on the show. Sutherland’s claim appears to be an exaggeration (his record was four d-bombs in one episode), but it’s true that the show got more liberal with the word as it went along — the penultimate season has 47 “dammits” between Jack and company, compared to the measly 30 in the first.
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Mythbusters‘ Adam Savage Is Always Flamboyantly Lurking At Comic-Con
It’s probably not shocking to point out that Adam Savage, the non-walrus-stache half of Mythbusters, is kind of a nerd. What is shocking is that if you’re a dedicated nerd yourself, you might have met him without even knowing it.
Savage attends the San Diego Comic-Con every year, always wearing an elaborate costume which completely obscures his identity and prevents myth-busting enthusiasts from showering him with questions. He started in 2013 with an Admiral Ackbar costume (including an original mask from Return Of The Jedi), then topped that the next year with an exact replica of the original Alien spacesuit, complete with a facehugger model to cover his face. It was so hot that it required him to wear an ice vest to keep from passing out from heat exhaustion.
In 2015, he attended in a bespoke Judge Dredd costume, though he made himself somewhat easier to recognize by refusing to shave his trademark blonde goatee. On the next year, he went as the main character of the Oscar-winning Leonardo-DiCaprio-mauled-by-a-bear movie The Revenant — that’s right, he dressed up as the bear.
And finally, in 2017, he went as King Arthur, in armor made by the actual costume designer from the 1981 movie Excalibur, with chain mail made for the Lord Of The Rings series underneath. He could have gone as Arthur from the Guy Ritchie movie that came out two months earlier, but everyone had already forgotten that.
Every year, Savage challenges fans to figure out which of the Comic-Con attendees is secretly him, and rewards them with bonuses like free tickets to his panel. And every year, at least one person figures it out, probably by whittling down the number of identity-obscuring cosplayers whose costume could only be put together if someone was earning Mythbusters dollars.
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The Dallas Stars Wouldn’t Stop Playing Nickelback
Americans don’t care about ice hockey nearly as much as Canadians do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own league. You can catch up on what’s going on with the NHL late at night on Fox Sports on a slow day. Well, if you’re not a fan, you might have missed the 2015 home game between the Dallas Stars and the Vancouver Canucks, during which the Stars decided that instead of playing “We Will Rock You” or “Seven Nation Army” to hype up the audience, they would only play Nickelback. Again and again. For the entire game.
Presumably, the intention was to troll Vancouver’s visiting fans. Nickelback is, after all, a (perhaps inexplicably) widely despised band from Vancouver. Unfortunately, there were as many if not more Dallas fans in attendance, who were just as annoyed by the sonic assault as the Vancouver visitors.
Toward the end of the game, the scoreboard displayed a graphic asking fans to text which artist they’d prefer never to hear again at a hockey game, providing three “options:” A) Nickelback, B) Nickelback, or C) Nickelback. It didn’t matter that the number was fake, because one answer was the clear winner (B, obviously). And in case you were wondering, yeah, Dallas won.
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Guardians Of The Galaxy‘s Michael Rooker Showed Up On The Set Of Avengers: Infinity War Just To Mess With Marvel Fans
If you haven’t seen the second Guardians Of The Galaxy movie yet but intend to, then first of all, what are you waiting for? Secondly, this entry is going to have spoilers for that film. So either stop reading or see the damn movie already.
In early 2017, Marvel Studios started shooting Avengers: Infinity War, the long-awaited film that will see the 200 or so characters from the Marvel Cinematic Universe come together. At the same time, Guardians Of The Galaxy actor Michael Rooker started posting images on his Instagram account of himself visiting various locations in Georgia, where parts of the movie are being filmed, while wearing a cap emblazoned with the Infinity War logo. Hmm, what could he possibly be doing there?
Here’s the thing, though: Rooker’s character Yondu, the blue guy with the whistle-powered arrow thing, dies at the end of Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2. It’s not one of those implied deaths that happens off-screen, either — he slowly freezes to death before our eyes in deep space while Chris Pratt screams “NO!” at him. The film later shows them holding a funeral and turning his corpse into fireworks. He’s definitely dead. And yet Rooker kept posting selfies from the Infinity War makeup trailer, with tape stuck over the logo on his cap that he’d previously “forgotten” to hide.
The obvious implication is that Yondu somehow survived his death and is going to show up to help kick Thanos’ ass in Infinity War. However, Guardians director James Gunn threw cold water on that suggestion when he was asked about it and answered bluntly that “Yondu is dead” and will remain like that “so long as I am involved with Marvel.”
So why the hell was Rooker on the set of Infinity War? According to Gunn, it was all a misdirection. Before the Guardians sequel hit theaters, fans started noticing that Rooker wasn’t on the Infinity War cast list and came close to guessing he was about to kick the bucket, so Marvel had him visit the set and Instagram himself in a branded hat to keep people guessing. Because dreams are meant to be smashed.
S. Peter Davis is the creator of the Three Minute Philosophy YouTube series, and is the author of the book Occam’s Nightmare.
If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Or sign up for our Subscription Service for exclusive content, an ad-free experience, and more.
For more, check out 4 Legendary Pranks Pulled Off by Celebrities and 7 Celebrity Pranks That Backfired Horrifically.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Why Every Prank Eventually Goes Wrong, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook. No foolin’.
Read more: http://ift.tt/2y8O590
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