#he can finally sit with his pork and beans on display

[itsrex]

🔸✨🔶🌻🔶✨🔸

the new sitting cpose is everything

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s S2 R&S - Fireworks into the Heart

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from an R&S (烟花入心) which has not been released in EN! 🍒

Features S2 Gavin. References are made to S2 Ch 16

[ Chapter One ]

“Wang Xiao Cui, you’ve been employed by the STF’s Logistics Department. Report to the cafeteria at 8am tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.”

I’ve been hired to work in the STF cafeteria. 

As a nutritionist with over thirty years of experience, joining the STF isn’t a problem for me.

My old companion isn’t able to understand why I’m not using my years of retirement to enjoy life. Without giving him a response, I simply smoothen the small creases on my STF uniform carefully.

As an ordinary person, the STF always had a mysterious and prestigious impression in my eyes. Agents who are able to work here are all heroes with indomitable spirits.

Being able to take care of their meals and enable them to get more nutrition every day to strengthen their bodies and better protect Loveland City gives me a sense of honour in protecting this city too.

Based on my experience, taking care of a group of young people is a piece of cake. However, I didn’t expect to make the mistake of underestimating this place.

-

Standing in front of the cafeteria’s bleak signboard at 7.30am, I witness several agents carrying Tianjin-style deep-friend dough sticks through the doors. Someone even carries several bags of fried beef buns. While walking, he speaks in a loud voice:

"I braved the risk of running laps to bring you guys fried buns again!”

“During training later, no one’s allowed to snatch that new gun from me.”

The other agents let out a “tsk”, taking the fried buns and chilli paste from him before dividing them amongst themselves.

Fresh out of the oven, hot steam rises from the buns in the cafeteria, and nobody bats an eye. The master who steamed the buns has already grown accustomed to this. They stand in groups of twos and threes, engaging in idle chatter.

Why doesn’t anyone in the STF like eating food from the cafeteria?

Unable to figure out an answer after much thought, I happen to spot a handsome lad dressed in a white uniform. His steps are steady, and he brings along a breeze when he walks. I immediately call out to him.

“Hey! Young lad, wait.”

The handsome lad stops in his footsteps, giving me a sweeping glance out of the corner of his eye.

“Do you need help with anything?”

“No no, I'm the new nutritionist in the cafeteria. I just wanted to ask you something. Why don’t the STF agents love to eat cafeteria food? From what I can see, the Nourishing Meal has meat and vegetables, and it’s pretty rich in nutrition.”

The handsome lad is silent for a moment before responding to my question.

“The healthy meals place too much focus on health, and they don’t taste any better than the small stalls outside.”

“Captain Gavin, the materials from yesterday’s case have been tidied up.”

“Mm, I’ll have a look at them.”

The handsome lad who was addressed as “Captain Gavin” sees that I have no further questions. Giving me a nod, he takes large strides towards the office.

With a frown, I take a bite out of a celery meat bun. Aside from the taste being slightly bland, I don’t find anything wrong with it. Furthermore, adding too much salt would reduce its nutritional value, so it’s a given that less salt would be added to it.

However, since this point was brought up, it means there’s room for improvement.

In order to prepare food that better suits the palate of STF, I spend a whole week lying low and observing the favourite eateries that the STF agents enjoy eating most, and try out all of their famous dishes.

Based on their palate, I meticulously prepare a modified version of trial dishes.

On the first day of introducing the trial dishes, I brim with enthusiasm while bringing out a “New Dishes to Try” signboard, thinking that this would raise the reputation of the STF’s cafeteria. However, even after half a day, the only things that enter are mosquitoes which I swat to death.

There’s a cold breeze at the entrance. I look at the clock hanging on the wall of the cafeteria - lunchtime is almost over.

Deciding not to wait any longer, I head outside, planning to grab a few people in to try the dishes.

The moment I step outside, my eyes brighten when I see that lad from before.

His footsteps are hurried, and he has a packet of instant noodles in his hand. He probably has to deal with some urgent matters, which is why he has to make do with that for lunch.

How is that good? An STF agent eating instant noodles? Where would I, a nutritionist, hide my pride? I hurriedly stop him.

“Young lad, there are new dishes in the cafeteria. Since you’re about to eat, why don’t you try the cafeteria? It’d be a quick meal.”

He pauses in his footsteps for a slight moment, his refusal ready. However, when he sees the menu behind me, he suddenly blinks, then looks up to give me a nod.

“I’ll have to trouble you then.”

With this, he walks into the cafeteria. I look at the menu. There’s only a simple line written on it - “Today’s Special: Chicken with Chilli”.

Does he like eating chicken with chilli?

[Note] To be precise, this dish is called 辣子鸡 (là zǐ jī). It’s a a stir-fried dish consisting of marinated then deep-fried pieces of chicken, dried Sichuan chilli peppers, spicy bean paste, Sichuan peppers, garlic, and ginger.

[ Chapter Two ]

The young man eats quickly and seriously. Ignoring the fact that that he’s eating at an unhealthy pace, I feel very relieved. When he walks over to return the tray, I ask him a question.

“You’re done, young lad? How’s the taste? Do you think there’s anything to improve on?”

The young man sets the tray down. After a moment of serious contemplation, he give his response.

“The taste isn’t bad. If you’re asking for suggestions, since it’s chicken with chilli, you could add a little more chilli.”

I record his suggestions in my notebook earnestly. At the same time, I’m secretly amazed at how members of the STF are truly talented individuals. I created this chicken with chilli dish based on the spice levels in Sichuan cuisine, but he still didn’t find it spicy enough.

Look like there’s much room for improvement in future dishes.

-

The next day, I continue with my plan to introduce trial dishes. However, most of the STF agents are already used to eating out. The ones who try the dishes are few and far between. Just as lunchtime is about to end, a familiar figure once again appears at the door of the cafeteria.

He’s the young man who ate the chicken with chilli yesterday.

He walks straight in, taking a tray and getting food. Although he doesn’t say anything, I feel very moved, and wonder if this kid dropped by specially to support the canteen’s business.

I inform him that red braised pork is being served today, accompanied with bitter gourd and scrambled eggs. He seems a little hesitant when he sees the bitter gourd. But in the end, he doesn’t say anything, finding a place to sit down and eat.

-

Over the next two weeks, it seems that as long as he isn’t out on missions or doing anything else, that young man would come to the cafeteria.

It appears that he’s a Captain or something. With his impetus, more and more people gradually eat in the cafeteria, and I have a better understanding of his reticent young man.

His name is Gavin, and he’s the Captain of the Special Ops Team. I heard that the Special Ops team is the hardest squad to get into within the STF. They are one of the very best in terms of resolved cases. Everyone in the team are the cream of the crop, much less the Captain.

I heard about how this Captain usually rushes to the most forefront when faced with any danger, which is why he receives much adoration from the team. Of course, the number of injuries and stack of silk banners in the storeroom are proportional to each other.

On the days when he isn’t around, there’s a high chance that he’s out on a mission, or having his injuries treated in the infirmary.

-

“Aunt Wang, give me the same chicken with chilli as Captain Gavin!”

A red-haired agent’s voice pulls me back to reality. He carries a tray, pointing at the chicken with chilli from across the glass. I give him a huge scoop of it. He carries the tray and sits at a row of tables close to the window. There are quite a number of people donning the same uniform, and Gavin is one of them.

“Captain Gavin, why have you fled from our braised beef noodles alliance? You’ve also stopped eating cup noodles with us when we work overtime.”

“Mm, this is something you’re unaware of. Our Captain Gavin has someone who cares for him.”

"Last time, that Miss Producer was filming something and gave us handmade biscuits. You were on leave so you didn’t know about this. Captain Gavin’s biscuits were several times more exquisite than ours. They were even heart-shaped.”

The agents wink at each other and chatter on incessantly. Gavin, the main topic of the conversation, continues eating calmly. When he finally feels slightly annoyed by the clamour, he puts down his chopsticks, glancing at the red-haired agent.

“Tang Chao, it seems that your stamina is getting better with your daily laps.”

“You’ll be my partner for the next mission.”

The red-haired agent immediately pulls a long face.

“Captain Gavin, it's not that I don’t want to be your partner. But based on my fighting skills, I’ll only be a burden to you.”

“I’ll continue shining as a support personnel, and be an emotionless lie detector for the Special Ops Team!”

Gavin ignores the red-haired officer whose name is Tang Chao. But when he lowers his head to drink the soup, I can see his slightly arched brows.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve always been seeing his composed and chilly side, and even thought that was his personality. It turns that he’s still a young man. It’s just that he hides that unrestrained aura that young people have, and doesn’t display it easily.

Perhaps that’s the fetter of being a Captain.

Looking at these young people, I suddenly feel as though I’ve found the reason why my trial dishes have not been successful.

It’s probably because I’ve never tried to truly understand this group of young people.

[ Chapter Three ]

I’m no longer stubborn when it comes to the dishes. Instead, I pay more attention to observing the dietary habits of this group of young people. Gradually, many more pages on the notebook which I use to record modified recipes are written on.

Everything goes smoothly. However, I notice that Gavin hasn’t visited the cafeteria for meals in a long while.

When the red-haired officer comes to collect his food, I scoop pork ribs and winter melon soup for him, and find myself asking him a question.

“Why hasn’t your Captain been coming down to eat in the cafeteria these days?”

He scratches his head, his tone less carefree as before.

“Captain Gavin’s injuries from this mission were a little more serious, so he’s still getting treated in the hospital.”

Before coming to the STF, the word “injuries” was associated with a sliced finger from cutting vegetables, or being scratched while playing with a cat. But after coming to the STF, I realised that there are many other ways people can get hurt.

The STF has doctors who understand Evolvers most in the whole of Loveland City. Logically speaking, even if it’s a fracture or external bleeding, patients can typically be discharged in a week.

That young man called Gavin hasn’t appeared in such a long time. Is he severely injured?

Even though we haven’t exchanged many words, I can’t help but worry about that young man.

He’s still so young. If anything were to happen to him, how worried would his family members be?

Perhaps due to the fact that he was the first agent willing to try food from the cafeteria, I find myself being more concerned about him, and wanting to know more about him. However, STF agents are disciplined and strict. When they’re eating in the cafeteria, they rarely mention Gavin. When he’s occasionally brought up, they say things that I’m unable to understand.

“She went to the hospital again today.”

“That’s fine. Her presence at the hospital is much more useful than a few of us going. At least Captain Gavin would smile a little when he sees her. When we’re there, we’re like stalks of grain, and can do nothing but watch helplessly.”

“The next time the ‘Snake’ bites, we can’t let Captain Gavin hold the fort again.”

In the fog of their conversation, I’m unable to understand anything. I’m getting old, and my ears aren’t as useful. I shake my head, turning around and heading back into the kitchen.

-

Just when I think Gavin’s injuries have rendered him unable to return to the team, he appears.

While I’m writing the lunch menu on the whiteboard, I spot Gavin and his squad mates walking in together. He has become much thinner, and looks very pale. Even so, his entire frame remains as solemn as always, a sense of sharpness emanating from him.

When I hand him braised beef noodles, he gives me a nod.

“Thanks.”

He picks up the chopsticks and eats the noodles. When he sees the slices of beef in the bowl, he’s slightly stunned. However, he returns to normal in an instant, continuing to eat as usual.

When they’re halfway through eating, the communication device at Gavin’s waist suddenly beeps. He presses the communication device, his expression changing when he hears the message.

“The ‘Snake’ has left the hole. Take action.”

With his command, everyone abandon their meal and hurriedly leave the cafeteria.

When Gavin passes by me, I can see traces of blood on the side of his sleeve.

It appears that he’s leaving for a mission before his wounds have completely healed.

The cafeteria lapses into silence. I tidy the table, looking at the beef noodles which only had a few bites taken out of it, and let out a heavy sigh.

I know how difficult it is to join the STF. People who join the STF are so incredible. But I still wish to know what kind of reasons would make such a young person charge forward and risk his life to the point where he can’t even have a proper meal.

[ Chapter Four ]

It’s very late at night, but the STF remains brightly lit.

Similar to the busy agents, I haven’t left either.

After this period of research and testing dishes, I discovered that the people here aren’t picky. They simply lack the time to sit down and eat slowly.

With this in mind, I restart the dish modifications.

The television in the cafeteria is currently showing the Loveland News. The host is reporting on something about “Evol Assassination Incidents”, and is criticising how the STF hasn’t been doing anything about them.

“Things here are turning upside down from how busy they are, and the infirmary is filled with people. And you claim that they aren’t doing anything? Reporters are so irresponsible these days.”

I shake my head, switching the television off. After calling a few colleagues over, we carry supper to the infirmary.

Due to the incident the news was reporting about, the STF has been in a mess recently. I heard that there aren’t enough beds in the infirmary for use.

My heart aches from how these kids are getting criticised even after getting injured. I’ve prepared sweet soup suitable for evening consumption, bringing them to the infirmary while they get treated.

While passing by the Captain’s office, I notice that the door isn’t closed, and I see someone standing inside.

It’s Gavin.

His side is facing the door, his hair is messy, and he’s leaning against the wall. One of his legs is lifted up, and he’s currently pursing his lips as he removes his combat gloves.

He appears to have lacked sleep for several days, and quiet fatigue emanates from his entire frame.

However, he doesn’t seem to have shown this side of him to anyone outside, demanding himself to only leave this version of himself to an empty office in the depths of night.

I knock on the door. The moment he hears this, he quickly straightens up, his sharp gaze sweeping over. When he sees that it’s me, his amber eyes are stunned, and he nods.

“Please come in.”

Walking in, I place a bowl of snow fungus soup on his table.

“Everyone has been working hard in the bureau lately. We decided to make some sweet soup for all of you to relieve the fatigue. Drink this soup while it’s hot. There’s Chinese wolf berry and longan in it, so it’s pretty nourishing.”

Gavin nods. Stray hairs stick messily against the sides of his eyes and brows. I’m guessing that since he’s a kid who usually puts up a strong front, he probably doesn’t like others seeing his sorry state. I hurriedly wave my hands to signal that I’m leaving.

Before I walk out of the door, Gavin suddenly asks me a question.

“Aunt Wang, is your cafeteria recipe modification going smoothly?”

I can hardly believe that he actually remembered such a trivial matter.

Just how many things does he concern himself with?

“Very smoothly. I’ve been looking into a new fast-food style beef noodles, and plan to introduce it to the bureau.”

“Fast-food beef noodles?”

“Mm. There used to be very few people in the cafeteria because I only paid attention to maintaining the nutritional value of dishes. But if people don’t even have the time to eat, how can I talk about nutrition?”

“Right now, I’m looking into preparing beef noodles that are both nutritious and can be eaten really quickly. Such noodles are more diverse in flavour, and the nutritional value is easy to maintain.”

After saying all of this, I follow up with a question.

“But I'm still considering whether to use bean sprouts or eggs as a substitute. Which do you prefer?”

Perhaps few people have asked him something as trivial as his dietary preferences. He gives this very serious thought before providing a careful answer.

“I’d prefer eggs.”

I nod, then find myself giving him my sincere and earnest wishes.

“No matter how busy work is, you need to have proper meals. Even though rice and vegetables seem simple, they are part of life.”

“Whenever you head forward so urgently, have you ever thought of whether you might be forcing yourself too much?”

When Gavin hears this, he’s taken back. I don’t continue. With a sigh, I turn around and leave.

[ Chapter Five ]

The new fast-food beef noodles introduced in the canteen received a huge welcome amongst the agents. It became the favourite supper of agents who worked overtime on cases. Given the positive responses, I also released different flavoured fast-food products. 

With this signature dish, the STF canteen finally became lively every day.

But the strange things is, I didn’t see Gavin for a very long time. I heard that he... temporarily relieved himself of his duties.

I have no idea what happened, but I trust that he had his reasons, and I silently hope that the kid can be safe.

Afterwards, a strange fog enveloped Loveland City. I was protected by STF agents, and later heard that Gavin was the one who retrieved the fog.

-

I’m just about to prepare dinner in the cafeteria when I hear the news that Gavin’s in the hospital. News related to the STF’s retrieval of the fog is being broadcasted, and Gavin’s powerful and resounding voice can be heard.

“This round of the Hunter Game is over.”

I lift my head to see that familiar figure on the television, determined and composed.

“Thank you all for protecting the dignity of this city.”

When he had meals in the cafeteria before, I often wondered how this taciturn young man could persevere on his own, shouldering high pressure that ordinary people find difficult, and also protect tens of thousands of ordinary people.

Right now, I understand.

It’s because he has a heart of justice that’s gentler and more unwavering than anyone else - 

And this heart has guided him onto a path destined to be rugged, where he will pursue justice with no second thoughts.

But I’m still a little puzzled. Doesn’t he find it lonely when walking down this path?

With the assistance of the red-haired agent, I carry chicken wonton soup to Gavin’s hospital ward.

The door is closed, and I can hear an indistinct voice of a girl drifting from the inside.

From across the glass, I see a girl sitting at the bedside, a pink bento box on the table.

The girl is resting a hand against her cheek while supervising Gavin as he eats the bento. Meanwhile, the young man sitting on the bed is eating it one mouthful at a time, earnestly and tenderly.

For some reason, I find myself grinning.

On this path filled with ups and downs, someone is willing to accompany him, wait for him, sit down together with him, and have a serious, proper meal with him.

I leave the hospital with the thermos box.

Being here for so many days, I’ve grown used to this place, grown used to the whistle at 6.30am in the morning, grown used to the agents finishing their meals within ten minutes and rushing off, and grown used to the lights in STF illuminating my path like starlight when I’m heading home at night.

My old companion often asks why an oldie like me continues going to the STF. 

It’s because I can see a broader world here. I can see souls with determined spirits. I’ve never felt more alive and fulfilled in my entire lifetime.

This is the meaning that STF gives me.

I hope that the young man called Gavin, as well as the countless young people who are like Gavin, will always lead a fulfilling life.

...and that they may always be safe.

May he, along with the girl he watches silently, return to life through every meal while embracing justice.

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[yespolkadotkitty]

Long Way to Go - Chapter 1

Ryan Brenner x OFC, Grace Lin

THANKYOU so much to @the-blind-assassin-12 for casting an eye over this and for friendship and enthusiasm and thankyou to @suchatinyinfinity and @something-tofightfor for being so friendly!

W/C: 1550 ~ Warnings: None? General audiences.

-----

It was hot as hell.

Sweat trickled down the back of my neck as I checked the thermometer in the pastry display case. Melted cream cakes didn’t sell, and I had to keep the served-cold meat bao from spoiling, but at least the fortune cookies, red bean cakes and mochi would be good for hours.

People bustled past, some holding mini electric fans, others cooling themselves with tall iced drinks from the nearby Starbucks.

I took a deep drink from my water bottle. I’d topped up the ice cubes just ten minutes ago and they were already just a memory.

The two girls I employed cleaned tables, their hair scooped up out of their faces, chattering about some party they were off to later, and which popular boys would be attending. Their giggling made me feel every one of my thirty-two years.

The overhead fan whirled silently as the bell above the door tinkled musically, letting in a gaggle of teenagers. They kept me busy for the next few minutes, ordering a bunch of fortune cookies and bao, barely looking up from their phones as they paid me.

As one of the teenagers pulled the shop door open, a gasp of music broke my train of thought (mango or green tea cookies tomorrow?). Curious, I peered out of the window.

On the street corner, sitting against the trunk of a large tree planted in the sidewalk, a man played guitar and sang.

His head was down, but thick, dark hair peeked out from under his battered hat, the brim shading his face from view.

His voice was deep and melancholy, and it pulled at something inside me. I kept the door open, listening.

Quite a little crowd had gathered around him. His fingers danced over the guitar strings effortlessly, his low, sultry voice carrying to me on what little there was of a breeze in New York in July.

I got lost in the lyrics for a moment, and must have leaned on the door too hard. The bell tinkled and I had to hang on to avoid falling face first on the pavement.

Smooth, Lin. Real smooth.

Without skipping a beat, the busker glanced my way. His eyes were the very dark brown of expensive Swiss chocolate, concern shining in their depths.

I smiled to let him know I was okay, and his gaze moved over me for a moment. I felt every second. His eyes smiled first, and then as he finished the last note in a line, his lips curved, too, a dimple flashing above his scruffy beard, and oh. I was a goner. He was the most beautiful man I’d seen in a long time, and this was NYC, so that was saying something.

“Hey, Earth to Grace! You gonna stand there all day?”

The Brooklyn twang jerked me back to reality and I blinked, looking into the face of my delivery guy. “Sorry, Mikey.”

The bulky Asian-American grinned, casting a thumb at the busker.  “He’s all right.”

I tore my gaze away again. “He sure is.”

Mikey wheeled his little hand truck to the storeroom and started to unload as I served a young woman who had questions about allergies. She read my ingredients lists and decided on three pork floss buns, the ones hot from the heated plate. Just going near it made me near-recoil with the steam that bathed my face.

As the customer paid and I thanked her, clipping a business card to the paper bag, I glanced out at the busker. He was drinking from a water bottle, his head tipped back to expose the line of his neck. The bottle was near-empty.

“Hey, Kristi?” 

One of the girls I employed stopped mid-chatter to her colleague about someone called Dwayne and how dreamy he looked in a football jersey, and whipped her head round to me.

“Can you man the counter for a sec?”

She bobbed her head yes and we swapped places. I grabbed a bottle of water from the tall fridge by the door, the shaped plastic cold against my palm. I hesitated, then grabbed another.

The wall of heat enveloped me as soon as I stepped out of the door.

The busker looked up at the sound of the bell, shoulders bunching in his worn white t-shirt as I approached, as if steeling himself for something.

The crowd had thinned between songs, people put off from standing by the sheer heat of a New York summer, but the open guitar case held a bundle of notes, some fives and tens, as well as several scatterings of coins.

“Hi,” I greeted him. “Ma’am,” he drawled, softly. His smile seemed easy, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

I suspected that he was wondering if I was gearing up to threaten to call the police on his ass. 

I wasn’t.

I held out the bottles of water. “Thought you might be thirsty.”

“Sure am.” He smiled up at me, fingers drumming on his thigh, but he didn’t attempt to take the water. “‘S very kind of you.”

You stepped closer, offering the bottles and he finally took them from me . His hands brushed mine, his skin warm and tan, a little rough. I noticed the unusual ink on his fingers, wanted to ask, but politeness stopped me.

“Your music is beautiful,” I said as he unscrewed the first bottle, the second held between his knees.

“Thank you, ma’am.” He took a deep drink, and I tried not to feel like a letch, admiring the line of his neck, the bob of his Adam’s apple. “‘S a nice bakery you got there.”

“Thanks. I, um, never thought it’d be a thing. You know? When you dream about something for so long and when it finally comes true, you can’t believe it?”

He met my gaze. “Can’t say I know a whole lot about that.”

For the first time, I took in his attire properly - large burlap backpack, battered army-style boots, the laces frayed, the near-threadbare edges of his hat. “God. I’m so sorry, I’m such an idiot-”

He shook his head, a shy little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’ be. I like it better when folks don’t have to watch their every word ‘round me. I’m Ryan.”

“I’m Grace. The idiot.” I offered a hand and he shook it, and his palm was wide and warm, a little calloused, and sparks of awareness slid up my arm.

“Do you often play around here?” I gestured to the little stretch of the Chinatown of Flushing, Queens, that my bakery sat on.

“No, ma’am. I’m a traveller. Been t’ New York before, but not this particular spot.”

“And how is this particular spot?”

Ryan drummed his fingers on his guitar thoughtfully. “‘S good. Folk are nice, for the most part.” He started on the second bottle of water, his tongue flicking out to over bottom lip after he drank. “Hot as hell, though, and I say that as a Southern boy.”

I opened my mouth to ask where in the South he hailed from, but Kristi appeared in the doorway of my shop. “Grace? Sorry, Mikey needs the auth code for this delivery.”

“Oh, sure.” I turned back to Ryan. “It was good to meet you. Your music is really fantastic.”

He ducked his head, smiling, a little shy. “Mighty kind of you, ma’am.”

By this point another little crowd had gathered, waiting to hear him sing, and I left them to it. I wished I could have the shop door open to hear him, but that would defeat the point of air conditioning.

But even so, throughout the afternoon, I kept glancing over, seeing him still there, singing. During a busy point I asked Kristi to go and bring him another bottle of water, and I saw the smile he flashed her, feeling jealous of the attention, and called myself utterly ridiculous for it. I hadn’t even known Ryan existed a couple of hours ago.

Customers thinned out. It was a weekday, and business always slowed down around six pm. I shut at seven, so at six-thirty I sent Kristi and Susan home. As they opened the door, I caught a line of song in Ryan’s soft, smooth drawl.

Nine hundred more miles, and I’ll be doin’ just fine-

When he finished, after the small crowd had dropped dollar bills and murmured their appreciation, I called out to him.

“You want to come inside? Have a cold drink? Use the air con?”

I saw the hesitation flick over his face, the trepidation mixed with curiosity, and in the end, the latter must’ve won, because he stood up.

“That’s it for today, ladies and gentlemen,” I heard him say to the people circled around him. A man tossed a couple of bills in his guitar case, and Ryan touched his hat in thanks.

The listeners dispersed, and Ryan settled his guitar in his case like a mother swaddling her baby; with utmost gentleness. And then he looked up, smiling, that dimple winking, and walked towards me.

Taglist: @agirllovespancakes

[megsblackfirewrites]

Anniversary Surprise

Anniversary Surprise

Jack heard the whistle behind him and rolled his eyes. For fuck sakes; he was elbow deep in a car engine, why were the Alphas showing up now? He was busy doing his job, for crying out loud! He let out a sigh as he grabbed his grease rag and cleaned off his hands as he stood up.

“Can I help you?” he asked calmly.

The Alpha grinned at him, brown eyes sparkling as she tossed her hair behind her ear. “Just wonderin’ when the show starts,” she said. “Legs like that were made for….”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Jack sighed. “Look, it’s flattering that you find me attractive, but I’m not interested. One, you’re female and two, I have a mate. So, if there’s something you need concerning vehicles, I’m all ears. If you’re just here to harass me over the shape of my ass, the door is that way. Have a nice day.”

The Alpha’s mouth flapped for a moment before she retreated for the door, properly cowed after that horrible display of manners. Jack snorted as he stuffed his hands back into the engine, shooting Jesse a look. The Alpha smirked from the belly of the car he was working on before he rolled out from under it.

“Now I gotta remember that line the next time an Omega is snuggling up against my chest beggin’ me to fuck ‘em,” Jesse laughed.

“People suck,” Jack sighed as he continued working. “If they aren’t hitting on you, they’re insulting you.”

“Maybe you should have your mating mark in full sight,” Jesse shrugged. “It’s how Hanzo keeps everyone from botherin’ him at work.”

“Hanzo works with generally respectful people,” Jack said as he found the source of the blockage and started scrubbing the caked up oil out of the tubing. “Me? I don’t know who’s walking through that door. Someone might just take my mark as a challenge and not respect my boundaries.”

“That’s true,” Jesse sighed as he walked over and peered into the engine. “Who the fuck does this to their car?”

“Someone that didn’t flush the engine properly before switching from synth-oil to vegetable,” Jack grunted. “That axel fixed?”

“Of course,” Jesse nodded as he rolled his head on his neck. “Hmm, how’s Gabe? Haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Busy with his new album,” Jack smiled. “He promised to be home tonight though. He never misses our anniversary.”

“I’m so glad his music took off,” Jesse grinned. “Every penny helps.”

“It does,” Jack sighed happily. “We still have his first album on the mantle. I need to get him something for the wall so he can hang it properly.”

“Not this year?” Jesse asked.

“Was thinking more for his birthday,” Jack shook his head. “Our anniversary is about us, not just his accomplishments.”

“Well, I hope you have a great supper and wonderful sex,” Jesse teased as he ruffled Jack’s golden hair. “Too bad neither of you have a knot.”

“Shut up, Jesse,” Jack laughed as he aimed a swat for his friend’s head. “Only Alphas love their knots. Their Omegas are just indulging their egos.”

“I’ll have you know that Hanzo begs for mine,” Jesse pouted as he ducked the swat.

“Only when he’s in heat,” Jack grinned. “Any other time I’m sure he’s telling you not to put that monster in him.”

Jesse pouted even more before huffing and playfully stomping back over to the car he was working on. He slipped back under it to avoid Jack’s laughter. He knew how stupid some Alphas could be over their knots; a lot of Omegas were just as bad for begging for it when they were horny. It was all around just annoying.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Jack finished the car he was working on and advised the owner to flush their engine before making any other oil change to avoid build up again. They thanked him and left a tip when they paid for the work.

Jack arrived home from work shortly after five. The house was quiet and there was a note stuck to the mirror in the entrance hall. He picked it up as he kicked his work boots off, reading it over with a sad smile.

‘Hey, had to run to the studio really fast. Should be home around 5:30. Supper’s still cooking and will be ready for 6. Don’t get into the dessert, you chowhound. Love you.’

Jack crumpled the note up and headed to the kitchen to throw it out. His mouth was watering at the scent of barbeque ribs in the slow cooker. He lifted the lid just to get a more concentrated smell, drooling a little as all of Gabriel’s ingenious spice rub mixture melded perfectly with the savory barbeque sauce. He put the lid back on quickly and headed to the fridge to see what dessert was waiting for him.

A cookie dough lasagna. Gabriel was trying to fatten him up, it would seem. Not that he minded; his weight had always been an issue. He blamed his father for his wild fluctuations; he couldn’t remember a time where his father had ever been more than one hundred and sixty pounds and skinny as a rake. Gabriel had made it his mission to get Jack on a stable diet that didn’t consist of cheap food and supplements. He was proud to say that he was one hundred and fifty pounds for over a month and his weight wasn’t dropping again.

He grabbed a homemade protein bar out of the crisper and closed the fridge door. He headed for the living room, dropping onto the couch as he thought about what he wanted to watch. He flicked through the channels until he found the news and settled down for what new depressing situation was taking hold of the world.

Gabriel arrived home shortly after 5:30. “Sorry, honey,” Gabriel called as he kicked the door shut. “Recording took longer than I thought.”

“That’s fine,” Jack smiled as he got to his feet. “I didn’t waste away from loneliness.”

Gabriel smiled as he walked over and kissed Jack warmly. “Sorry; Ana can be a taskmaster,” he said as he held Jack close. “How was work?”

“Work,” Jack shrugged. “Cars were fixed and Alphas were put in their place.”

“Good,” Gabriel frowned. “I’m so sick of them hitting on you. It’s not even flirting; it’s disgusting pick-up lines as if you’re going to let them fuck them in the backseat of the car!”

“I know,” Jack smiled as he pressed his forehead against Gabriel’s. “Who needs Alphas?”

“Not us,” Gabriel smiled back. “God, that pork smells amazing.”

They walked into the kitchen together just as the phone rang. Gabriel grinned before he went to answer it, bringing the handheld over to the table.

“Hey, Mama,” he called as he put the phone on speaker. “How’re you?”

“Doing just fine, my boy,” Gabriel’s mother replied in Spanish. “How’re my favourite sons?”

“We’re your only sons, Mama,” Jack teased as he sat down beside Gabriel. “And we’re fine.”

“That’s good to hear, Jackie. I was worried. I know you both work so hard and sometimes ends don’t meet. I sent some money to your account, Gabi. Did you get it?”

“I did,” Gabriel shook his head. “I used it to pay off a few bills. Thank you.”

It didn’t matter that Jack and Gabriel made more than enough to get by, Reina Reyes still worried about her youngest child. Jack knew she did the same for all of her children, sending them money whenever the newest royalty cheque rolled in from her time in the most popular Mexican blockbusters of the decade, but always called Gabriel immediately.

“Oh good! What are your plans for the evening?”

“Supper, dessert, and then cuddling on the couch,” Gabriel smiled at Jack.

“And grandbaby-making?” she teased.

“Mother, relax,” Gabriel cackled. “We’re still young!”

“And waiting for another heat to roll around,” Jack agreed.

“You still haven’t had yours yet, Jackie?” Reina asked. Jack could almost hear her frown.

“No,” he admitted. “It should happen soon though. My weight’s stabilized.”

“That’s good,” Reina sighed. “I know heats suck, but they’re healthy.”

“I know, Mama,” Jack soothed. “I’ll let you know when I feel it approaching.”

The timer went off beside the crockpot and Gabriel hurried to turn it off. Jack continued talking with Reina as Gabriel put supper on plates and carried them over. Jack licked his lips at the smell of perfectly cooked pork ribs, cooked vegetables, and wild rice. He thanked his mate and kissed his lips, smiling as Gabriel said his good-byes to Reina and hung up the phone. Gabriel nuzzled him as he rose to put the phone away.

“Oh, can you get something out of the oven?” he asked. “I have to grab something in the living room.”

Jack lifted an eyebrow as he got to his feet. “Okay?” he replied as he headed for the stove.

He opened the oven and stared at the loaf of buns sitting on the top rack. There was a note that said “surprise!” stuck to the top of it. He pulled the package out and frowned at it. Why the Hell would Gabriel put a package of buns in the…?

He let out a gasp and whipped around, grinning at his mate. “Really!?” he demanded.

Gabriel grinned and nodded. “Yup.”

“How far along?” Jack asked as he hurried over and covered Gabriel’s cheeks in kisses.

“Sixteen weeks,” Gabriel said as his eyes teared up. “I have an ultrasound next week to sex the baby.”

Jack felt tears burning his eyes and sniffled. “Holy shit, Gabe,” he whispered. “We’re going to be dads!”

Gabriel nodded and hugged him close. “Good present?” he asked.

“The best!” Jack laughed. “Sort of blows my signed copy of Guns ’N’ Roses’ first album out of the water.”

Gabriel pulled away and stared at him in awe. “You got me a signed copy?” he whispered.

“It was a bitch to find, but yes,” Jack smiled.

“You are amazing,” Gabriel said as he kissed Jack’s face. “I’ll take it after supper. I’m starving and so is Jackie Jr.”

Jack let out an excited squeal. He was going to be a dad! He couldn’t believe it; after years of fertility problems, they were finally going to have their baby! And Gabriel, healthy, strong, successful Gabriel, was going to be carrying their little belly-bean.

“You’re going to be a great mom,” Jack murmured as he held his mate’s hand. “I know it.”

“And you’ll be a fantastic dad,” Gabriel smirked. “Finally, someone else will suffer your horrible puns with me.”

“My puns are ingenious, you ungrateful man,” Jack pouted playfully before he knelt down. He nuzzled his face against Gabriel’s belly and rest his cheek against the tiny swell. “Hello, little one,” he cooed. “I can’t wait to meet you.”

“I’m certain they can’t wait to meet you too,” Gabriel chuckled as he ran his fingers through Jack’s hair. “Finally put a face to the man that rocks them to sleep so well every night.”

Jack let out a snort of laughter before he stood up. He kissed Gabriel deeply, pulling his mate in close. His head was still reeling; they were going to be fathers! In a few months they were going to have a baby in their house. They were going to have a baby!

“Did you tell your mom?” Jack asked as he pulled away.

“I did; she’s good at pretending she doesn’t have a clue,” Gabriel smiled and kissed him. “Mmm, you should call your parents. They’ll be happy to hear this.”

“After supper,” Jack promised as he pulled his mate over to the table and sat down. “We’re going to be dads, Gabe!”

“We are,” Gabriel squirmed happily in his seat. “Finally. And, when they’re old enough, we’ll adopt another little baby.”

“Yes,” Jack sighed in relief as he tore the bone of of his ribs and stuffed the meat into his mouth. “This is amazing, Gabe! You outdid yourself.”

“It is good,” Gabriel agreed as he closed his eyes blissfully. “Fuck, I’m good.”

“You are,” Jack purred as he leaned over to kiss his mate’s cheek. “My darling. My beautiful moonlight. My….”

“Honey,” Gabriel smiled at him. “I get it.”

“I need more nicknames,” Jack sighed as he sat back in his chair. “Or better ones.”

“Jack, you could call me a ‘cocksucking asshole’ and say it with the sweetest smile and I would love it,” Gabriel laughed. “I don’t need a thousand pet names. I just need you.”

Jack felt tears spring to his eyes. “We’ve been mates for years and you still manage to make me get all choked up every single time you say that,” he sniffled.

Gabriel set his fork down and scooted his chair closer. He kissed Jack tenderly, nuzzling against his cheek. Jack wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders, whimpering happily as his mate whispered more sweetness into his ear.

Who needed an Alpha when his Omega mopped the floor with all their macho bullshit?

[tomandharriet]

When two became three

Despite being a long way from our family and friends, it was a Christmas which kept on giving. Our next present, 2 weeks in the company of Rose! The race to a prearranged point in Bangkok was narrowly won by us, as we anxiously waited for Rose, who is good at most things which aren’t navigation related. Thankfully she had 8 hours in Chengdu to study our detailed instructions and hand drawn maps and as it turned out, we needn’t have worried. Arriving about 5 minutes after us, we were delighted to see her familiar face as she walked along the platform. We headed straight to our hostel, just off Khaosan Road (another infamous Thai destination). We kept up the theme of not really exploring much around us, spending the remainder of the day catching up over food and drinks.

The next day turned into more of the same. By chance we had 2 friends in Bangkok on the same day. Meeting up with Simon and Ollie (who’s birthday it was) for an early afternoon drink, turned into a day session on Khaosan and before we knew it we’d seen none of Bangkok, beyond the street sellers selling all sorts of wierd, wonderful and outrageously rude tourist tat.

We could’ve happily spent the whole night drinking White Russians with them and nearly did, when we came extremely close to missing our night train to Chiang Mai. This culminated with our pre-booked ticket turning up at our carriage door 2 minutes before the train pulled out of the station. We’d had a great day but that was about to get even better as Rose suddenly turned into Santa. We knew that she was bringing a few gifts out from Harriet’s family - but Rose had also secretly got Tom’s mums contact details, which meant we both had little stockings to open and hang at the end of our sleeper train beds! We actually nearly cried, it was such a lovely gesture and moment. We also knew how much it would’ve meant to our mums to be able to piece together the stockings. Nobody is perfect though and Santa Rose had one comical slip up, handing Tom a present which he excitedly opened, and then froze.. discovering a Fitbit, which he knew was intended for Harriet, but didn’t quite know how to react whilst being filmed.

We woke up the next morning, shortly before pulling into Chiang Mai, which was comfortably our favourite place in Thailand and actually one of our favourite cities on the trip. Chiang Mai strikes a perfect balance between having interesting things for visitors to do, whilst feeling like a genuine locals town, full of lovely people. We were fortunate to be able to meet up with James, an old family friend of Tom’s, who lives in Bangkok but was spending New Year with his wife, Mandy and her family in Chiang Mai. Mandy who was born in Chiang Mai, acted as our personal tour guide for the morning and we soon found out that she shares a love for Tom’s newfound favourite dessert, which will be covered in great detail later on! She also showed us some great coffee spots, filled us in on some of the history of Chiang Mai and gave us the background on why the King looks so unhappy in the giant billboard pictures of him, which are on display everywhere. It turns out he’s not as popular as his Dad was, largely down to his own actions, it seems!

We had heard lots of good things about Chiang Mai, but it was the New Year lantern festival which we were particularly keen to witness. We had a lovely meal out before heading to the old town walls, where along the moat, thousands of people were already gathering and beginning to release lanterns. Environmental concerns aside for now (our pangs of environmental guilt have multiplied as our trip goes on), the Chiang Mai lanterns are a spectacle that outshone (sorry) any firework display we’d ever seen. The sense of fun, togetherness and hope for the upcoming year was infectious, as friends and families gathered in small groups, wrote their names, stories or wishes on their lantern and then released them. The cumulative affect was stunning, as a steady stream of candle powered lanterns disappeared up into the night sky.

Waking late and predictably groggy the next day, we had lined up two events to see us through the first day if the new year. The first was a relaxing boat tour along Chiang Mai’s river With a pitstop at quite a random and underwhelming herb farm, The main event was an evening at the Thai boxing, as we seeked to continue our run of watching sports in each country. After some dinner and drinks, we headed to the stadium, expecting a bit of a buzz to surround the place. We were greated by 1 security guard and a very shut boxing stadium. Despite selling tickets for the night online, there was no scheduled boxing due to it being the 1st January. A knockout punch to our plans!

Our final day in Chiang Mai produced our best example of just how overwhelmingly kind the majority of people we have encountered on our trip, came out of a moment of misfortune. Rushing to get out of one of the cities red taxis, Harriet left her phone on the bench, realising too late as the taxi drove off round a corner. Still with her Indian SIM card in, there was no way of tracing the phone, but that didn’t stop a couple of passers by who noticed that Harriet was upset and pulled over to ask what had happened. They made phone calls, posted on local Facebook pages and prompted a local garage with CCTV cameras to trawl through the footage in an attempt to get the license plate of the taxi. After more than an hour of trying but ultimately failing to find anything of use, they then drove us back to our hostel and outright refused our offer of any money or alcohol as a thank you for their display of kindness.

Our next destination was Pai, a small town located near the jungle, a few hours north of Chiang Mai. Over the 3 nights we spent there, we came to realise that Pai town itself was a slightly odd touristy bubble. It mostly consisted of a main strip, offering some really good street food and some Groundhog Day-esque street performances ranging from children who clearly didn’t want to be there, dancing to pop or traditional songs, through to a Pharaoh driving a giant duck and turning the sale of customisable flip flops into an interactive show. Ok that was actually great and Tom is still wearing his yellow and black flip-flops which cost less than £3, show included! We also had some great evenings at the bars, most notably the rock-bar which after a string of fairly decent performers, had a local Thai guy who gradually emptied the bar without us noticing. Ok so he wasn’t great at guitar, and his pitch was way off, but his heart was in the right place and when he thanked the crowd (three of us sitting outside and the barman who was likely his mate) we were won over and demanded an encoure.

Oddities aside, we really enjoyed our time in Pai. Our hostel looked not dissimilar to a hobbit home and provided us with an excellent base. The highlight though was the surrounding area, which no doubt attracted the original visitors and is the reason for Pai’s boom in popularity. Using mopeds as our mode of transport for a few days, we visited several sceneic locations, including the stunning Pai Canyon, some waterfalls, a land split caused by an earthquake and some thermal springs.

We also took our chance to complete a day trek through the nearby bamboo jungle. Setting off early and driving approximately 90 minutes out of Pai, we trekked through difficult undulating terrain. The trek was well worth it thanks to a dip in a waterfall at the end and mostly down to an encounter with a family of gibbons. The gibbons were wise to the trekking route and knew that humans passing would likely mean some treats. But unlike the many overly bold monkeys we’d encountered who would grab anything at first chance, they were more timid, keeping their distance at first and preferring to catch their food - and their handling was impeccable, not dropping a thing. Feeding them bananas and then a few spare muffins, they grew more confident and eventually came to take food out of our hands, before retreating to eat it.

As our flight to Hanoi was from Chiang Mai, we had one final evening there. Round 2 for Thai boxing and this time it was on! Whilst we’re no experts, the standard of most bouts wasn’t particularly high and the evening drew to a strange conclusion when the final fight was contested between 12 year olds.

Food

One of the more interesting things we tried in Bangkok was a popular Northern Thailand dip called nam phrik ong. This is a really spicy dip made with dried chillies, ground pork and tomato. It was served with pork scratchings, sliced cabbage, cucumber slices and some fresh herbs. The combination of all of the different flavours and textures made this dip so irresistibly morish.

Chiang Mai was full of lots of cafes and restaurants selling delicious and fresh Thai food. However, one absolute stand out cafe we visited with Tom’s family friends James and Mandy was a place called mango tango. Every dish (and drink) on the menu contained their beloved juicy fruit. Naturally, we went for the trio option to try as many of the mango treats on offer, which amazingly felt so varied. One particular mango dish that Tom managed to trial pretty much every day we were in Thailand was a dessert (or in Tom’s case breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack) called mango sticky rice. The dish is made by letting the cooked rice absorb all of the sweet coconut milk. Once absorbed the gooey rice it is served on a plate with any remaining coconut milk drizzled on top and served with slices of the juiciest mangos you can imagine. The dish often had a sprinkling of crispy yellow mung beans to give it that little extra crunch.

Another delicious dish that was a Chiang Mai speciality and insanely good was khao soi gai. This is a coconut curry dish made with chicken thighs and topped with crispy noodles (and more noodles mixed in the curry) and pickled, chilli shallots. All served with beans sprouts, coriander and a wedge of lime. A comfort dish to warm all hearts, my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Pai was pretty much just one touristy strip of street food. You could get anything from your typical Thai dishes to nachos, corn on the cob and even home baked pasta dishes. Although very exciting at first the novelty did start to wear off by day three. The overwhelming choice often resulted in Rose, Tom and Harriet being split across the length of the strip aimlessly wondering around slowly filling up on a random combination of food, kind of like you do at buffet. Although the fried dumplings were heavenly....

A final note that is not specifically recipe focused but one that can’t go without a special mention was on a post night out dinner date with Rose and Tom (Harriet had tapped out and gone to bed at this point). Tom managed to eat a mouthful of wasabi mistakingly thinking it was guacamole. Tom’s eyes were watering so much Rose was concerned the couple next to them thought she had just broken up with him.

Travel Jukebox - ‘Amajovi Jovi’ by Sandy B

We must start by apologising to Joe McTaggart for being the sender of the only album we rejected. This wasn’t because it was a bad choice. Far from it, Joe’s original choice of Grandbrothers was an album we had listened to repeatedly in the weeks prior to leaving. We knew we could rely on Joe to provide us with a unique album we’d never heard of and we wanted to give him a second pick for the jukebox. He didn’t disappoint!

Joe suggested we listen to the album when we fancied a bit of a party, so it’s only fitting we talk about it in the same post as Rose’s arrival, New Year and a time in our trip when the scales of cultural traveling vs boozey holiday, took a big swing in favour of being ‘Brits abroad’.

Originally released on cassette tape in 1994, out of apartheid South Africa, the album has an underlying tribal theme, with rhythmical beats and playful chanting throughout. It has a very satisfying simplicity to it too, focusing on simple hooks and drum loops. It’s the type of album you’d love to be able to go back in time to the release year, to be able to gauge just how groundbreaking it likely was then. ‘Party Time’ stands apart from the otherwise more club vibe tracks and feels like a nod to the growth of West Coast hip-hop at the time. The album finishes full circle with an instrumental version of the opening (title) track, a very satisfying way to round off this (as anticipated) unique album!

TLDR; Rose brings the party!

[stuartja06-blog]

Years ago when my kids were little

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[gloriacumming43-blog]

Vegan Protein Powder -Organic Protein Powder

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[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 84, December 2017

On Christmas Eve, Mum and I attended the Carols by Twilight - Christmas Eve event held at Max Pawsey Reserve near Fountain Gate. It’s my second time going to a local Carols event, my first being over 6 years ago. As always, the event is run and organised by Casey City Church with many guest speakers and singers performing on stage including Andrew De Silva, He Planned Us and Gary Pinto. Of course, these Carols have a very Christian in orientation and whilst I don’t believe in God per se, it’s highly irrelevant. For me, it’s about being involved with the City of Casey community and celebrating the true meaning of Christmas...love, joy, peace, family, friends and being grateful for what you have in life.

We didn’t end up staying long as the weather decided to turn cold with a bitter, icy wind blowing across the reserve but it was still nice that we made the effort to listen to a few of the carols. After grabbing some coffees at Maccas, we decided to finally check out some Christmas lights. I was determined to visit the hugely popular display down at Hugo Court in Narre Warren to see what all the fuss was about. Getting down there early and finding a side street or court to park in is key because the traffic banks up very quickly.

We started by walking down Song Street with one house featuring two snow machines, creating lots of white foamy suds. It looked really cool. Making our way down to Hugo Court, there was literally people from the local CFA directing the crowd with glowing red wands. The moment we set foot into the court, it was bedlam. A cascade of brightly lit LED lights, inflatable Santas, Penguins, Snowmen, Reindeer, flashing signs, a radio station playing Christmas songs. But instead of being overwhelmed, I found it to be a truly magical experience. I had a ball taking photos and letting the atmosphere sink in.

The only downside was getting out of the area. A few drivers were getting impatient and rowdy. There was huge potential for road rage but thankfully Mum and I dodged a bullet. You just have to be really patient and be prepared that it can take up to 20 minutes to get yourself back onto Narre Warren-Cranbourne Road. But besides that, it was definitely worth going to. Hopefully I don’t leave it this late next year!

On Christmas Day, My parents and I had a busy morning ahead getting all the food prepared and cooked as well as decorating the outside patio area. It didn’t take long for me to start feeling exhausted but it came together really well. It’s a big area of strength for me, the creative side. We always go all out when it comes to Christmas and it’s easily my favourite part of the day.

In the afternoon, we had relatives over from my step-dad’s side of the family. We had a lovely roast for lunch which included chicken, ham, pork, potatoes, pumpkin, beans, peas and carrots. The conversations at the table were difficult for me to join in with as usual and when the topic turned to sexual predators and pedophiles, I was ready to exit stage left. I just feel so disturbed and uncomfortable hearing that stuff and that’s only so much I can handle before I have to leave.

In the late afternoon, we opened up our Christmas presents under the tree. I always find this experience to be both overwhelming and awkward. At least now that I’ve got an official diagnosis, it would explain why I’m not as “expressive” as I should be. From the outside looking in, most people would think I’m ungrateful due to my lack of excitement but it’s far from the case. It’s more I have no idea what to say besides thank you. I couldn’t be more grateful, I just don’t often show it with my non-verbal cues and body language (Autism 101).

In the evening, we had my Aunt, Uncle and Cousins come over for dinner. I decided to have a Nanna nap before they arrived as I was feeling buggered as. The food we served up was similar to our lunch with a selection of chicken, pork and ham plus coleslaw, potatoes and pasta salad. We engaged in the usual tradition of pulling Christmas crackers, wearing paper hats and reading the lame jokes inside of them.

It’s true that I’m still very reserved, socially awkward and sensitive even around my family but it’s something that I’m continuing to work on embracing and accepting. It was a really long day for me overall but the upside is that we didn’t have to travel anywhere today and the weather was lovely throughout the day.

On Boxing Day aka “Recovery Day”, we spent the morning sitting around the dining table eating bacon and eggs for breakfast, talking about how dodgy our current government are and how the oil companies are ripping us off when it comes to the price of petrol. I honestly felt like a zombie crawling out of bed after all the food and alcohol I consumed yesterday. Thankfully, no hangover though! Then comes to fun part of cleaning everything up and packing away all the decorations. One step at a time though.

I spent most of the afternoon just resting up and trying to catch up on some sleep. The last thing I wanted to do was rush out to the Boxing Day sales. Seriously FUCK THAT! I’d rather shop online to be honest. In fact, I decided to buy a few Christmas sweaters from eBay ready for next Christmas. My cat Lotus decided to join me for a nap for the first time ever on my bed. It’s good to see that she’s finally warmed up to my bedroom and my bed.

On Wednesday morning, Mum and I both had well overdue full body Chinese massages at Best Body Massage in Eden Rise, Berwick. Best Body is basically just Top 1 Therapy trading under a different business name but offering the same deals. I opted for a deep tissue massage with hot stones which only cost me $45 for a whole hour. The guy did a very thorough job getting all of those knots undone and relieving a lot of tension through my back, shoulders, neck and spine. Pretty much over a month’s worth of stress, anxiety and muscle soreness.

This place is still unfortunately plagued with the same issues as Top 1 Therapy. Don’t expect to get much conversation from your massage therapist unless you’re fluent in Mandarin. Also, they could really benefit from having a staff member act as a permanent receptionist and door greeter as the guy doing my massage had to constantly rush off to attend to phone calls and customers dropping in. Basically, they’re lacking in the customer service department but considering I’m only paying $45 instead of $100 and the therapists are highly skilled in what they do, I can let the cons slide. http://edenrisevillage.com.au/store...

On Thursday morning, Mum and I visited the Cranbourne Hyundai Used Car Dealership to begin the search for my fourth car. We were both wearing our invisible “JUST LOOKING” t-shirts as I’m still extremely guarded and weary when it comes to car salesmen. Thankfully the guy who looked after us, Rod, was quite easy going and pleasant to deal with. He didn’t pressure us to make a sale at all, nor was he holding “grand sale” balloons like Pennywise The Dancing Clown (A sure bet to run in the opposite direction!).

I brought along my list of potential cars that I wanted to have a look at including a 2014 Hyundai i30 Active GD2, a 2013 Kia Cerato S TD and a 2011 Ford Fiesta Zetec WS. I was leaning the hardest towards the i30 and even briefly sat in the car to check out some of the features. I wrote down some “must haves” including a CD player, keyless entry, rego, 3 year warranty, low kilometers under 100k and priced under $15,000. It pretty much ticked all those boxes but I refused to sign any paperwork yet. I’d rather have a few models to consider and make sure I’m 100% happy with the next car I purchase. http://www.cranbournehyundai.com.au/...

On Thursday night, I attended my Body Balance class with Rowena at YMCA Casey RACE. It’s been a couple of weeks since I last went to a group fitness class so evidently I was feeling pretty out of practice tonight but it didn’t take long to pick things up. Rowena had a strong Irish accent and was very bubbly throughout the class.

We did our usual sequence of exercises during the class including: Tai-Chi Warmup (Swan Dive, Overhead arm circles), Sun Salutations (Forward Fold, Downward Facing Dog, Plank, Baby Cobra), Standing Strength & Balances (Warrior 2, Sun Warrior, Side Angle Pose, Triangle Pose, Half Moon Pose), Pilates (Bicycle Crunches, Firefly, Arm and Leg balances, Knee to Nose), Twists & Hamstring Stretches (Butterfly Forward Fold, Serpentine Twist with Leg Extension) and Relaxation. https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/f...

On Friday morning, Mum and I returned to the Cranbourne Hyundai Used Car Dealership for a second look. Thankfully I didn’t have to deal with any Max Kirwin type used car salesman (Good one Max? More like get the fuck away from me Max!) as Rod was there again. As I was walking through the middle of the yard, one of the cars immediately caught my attention. It was a dark blue coloured 2015 Hyundai Accent sedan. On closer inspection, it pretty much ticked all the boxes on my wishlist and inside I knew that this was “the one”.

Rod sat myself and Mum down inside his office. The space was clinical white and undecorated aside from the Hyundai logo and a few certificates on the wall. The anxiety levels were building rapidly inside of me but I knew that if I didn’t put the car on hold today, I would probably regret it. Still I find the whole process of signing contracts and paperwork to be extremely daunting. After sorting out some technical issues, we managed to get the ball rolling and Rod even put a personalised “SOLD” sign inside the car for me. I’ll be finalising the transaction and picking it up next week if all goes well.

On Friday night, I went to an RPM Express class with Laura at YMCA Casey RACE in Cranbourne East. Being the Christmas holidays and also the fact that it was wet and humid outside, there was only 3 people in tonight’s class but it was no surprise. I was still determined to get a really good workout done and I decided to turn up the resistance quite a few times up to 40-50%. The mountain climbing sections were easily the hardest for me but I was burning heaps through my knees, glutes and thighs.

I was also more focused on the wattage display and tried hard to get it over 170-200W. I was a good feeling pushing myself as hard as I could on the bike and being an express class, it was much shorter than usual. https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/f...

2017 has been a year of major growth for me. From having the strength and courage to turn down and walk away from people and situations that no longer serve me well to having emotional breakdowns in front of my former personal trainer to getting counselling and a formal diagnosis for mild Autism. I've done a lot of personal development, worked on improving my mental health issues and put myself out of my comfort zone (Do It In A Dress charity event, work Christmas function, Yoga Retreat in Moggs Creek).

It's been a huge year for fitness, trying out new things (Strength & Conditioning, Bootcamp, CrossFit, Water Workout, Swimming, Spa and Sauna) and pushing myself really hard to achieve results. There's been plenty of bumps in the road along the way from changing gyms to yoga studios closing down but none of these things have hindered me.

It's been a really tough year financially for me but I've always tried to persevere and get myself through it. I didn't attend as many local gigs as I would have liked to this year but many hurdles got in the way. Hopefully my attendance will pick up in 2018 as I find a better way to balance my life. However, I feel like my contribution was still significant in terms of writing reviews, band promotion, buying merch and sharing band related posts.

Thank you to all of my family and friends for sticking by me and supporting me this year.

MY GOALS FOR 2018 SO FAR                                                                            1. Buying myself a new car, probably an ex-demo 2016 Hyundai i30 or similar at Cranbourne Hyundai. 

 2. Joining an art/painting/life drawing class in Berwick. 

 3. Travelling to places including Redwood Forest in East Warburton and Launceston, Tasmania. 

 4. Continuing to write blogs, reviews, interviews with Behind The Scene and supporting the local music scene. Increasing my attendance at local gigs. 

5. Regular yoga classes with Keren Gurrieri at Body Yoga. 

6. PT sessions/Group sessions at The Yard Strength & Fitness with Mandi Herauville and Erynne McCrorey. 

 7. Burning body fat and gaining lean muscle around the arms, legs, thighs, stomach, back, hips, glutes etc. Losing another 5-10kg. 

8. Joining a support group to help with my mental health issues and emotional wellbeing e.g. GROW group, The Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria (ADAVIC). 

9. Joining another cooking class at Balla Balla Community Centre. 

10. Continuing to work on improving my self-confidence, self-care and personal development to become a better person. 

11. Continuing to attend Group Fitness classes and seminars at YMCA Casey ARC and YMCA Casey RACE. Trying new classes including Aqua Cycle, Aqua Yoga, Virtual fitness classes.   

 12. Volunteering at an Animal Shelter, caring for domestic pets.