#he can convince selling water to a fish its very fun to play

[dea-marte]

BG3 OC Character Sheet

[noblehcart]

gabby's kids: random hcs

hayden works at the docks nights and during the day at a restaurant as a busboy and whatever else they need that night. he's gotten into so many fights over the years and has one scar on his jaw and tattoos on his arms, which lead to the mistaken appearance that he's a tough guy (which to a degree he is a fighter) but he's got the heart of a poet and would love to write an album

ana is solely driven to help people on the streets and girls who are victims of sexual assault like she was. ana was practically born to be a lawyer with how well she can articulate and argue and how convincing she can be. the household joke is that she could sell salt water to a fish. she's the second mum to all the kids and loves being the big sister even if its overwhelming 80% of the time.

mia has vowed to make something of her life and do better and be better than her father. she will never let go of her last memory of her father when she was little and that spite is one of her driving factors. she resents the life she was denied by being acknowledged as her father's daughter and is absolutely determined to get that life she was deprived.

nick is gabby's troubled son, despite the handful the twins are. nick behaves and seemly always has a trick up his sleeve, but is never caught doing anything nefarious. he's insanely clever though his grades never seem to reflect it. he tries to wield control over the younger kids but he hasn't mastered the art of manipulation yet. gabby is sure if she doesn't find a way to get through to him he could be the next to.m rid.dle.

noah & erin are the pyro twins. they are 100% science experiments 100% of the time. between that and playing pranks on the other kids in the household they're a menace. however nothing is quite as bad as when they're angry at someone else for upsetting their siblings. gabby isn't very sure they won't turn into evil villains despite her trying to influence them to good.

avery is the softie of the boys, absolutely adores hayden and has aspirations to be a firefighter. he has such a big heart and tries to protect and be helpful to the girls, especially to ana.

lily is the silent genius of the family. she never reveals this to other people because she is horrifically shy but she's secretly a little genius who likes to stay quiet because its fun to watch and observe. she also doesn't want to be sent away like she sees genius kids often are in movies/tv.

sophia is the light of the household. she's the little princess of the house because everyone adores her, she's sweet and kind and adorable. her essence is absolutely glitter and pink and roses and everything that can make a girl charming and adored. the biggest sweetest eyes and charming curls.

victoria only comes second in adoration from the family to sophia because she's six months old. she loves music and being passed around in everyone's arms. in general a very good baby.

[adventuresindolls]

Meet Lexie Chapter 3: What Flying Feels Like

(Aside: I know in the story Sophie gets chocolate ice cream and this is clearly a popsicle, but it's the closest I had)

Sophie's friend did come over the next day after Sunday school, but Lexie hardly saw them. She hardly noticed anything that day. Over breakfast, Papa had announced that as a treat to make up for moving, and to forget new school anxiety, they would be going to the County Fair every day this week. Lexie hadn't heard anything said to her since then.

Fairs were thrilling. They meant rare treats and delicious smells and rows of bright booths to hop between. Sophie and Lexie had an ongoing system where they would run around as buddies between the game booths and the ones selling pretty necklaces and giving away paper fans. But when Lexie started to get overwhelmed, they would go together to the 4-H building to look at pretty dresses and pictures of flowers. It was air conditioned in there and much quieter than the rest of the fair. Sometimes Lexie would find a cool corner to sit and read the book she always carried while Sophie found a play area or other kids to talk to.

But best of all were the rides.

They usually went for one day a year. But this year was special—5 whole days of excitement! It was hard for Lexie to think about anything else all day. She read the same page 6 times, lost a Mario game badly to Sophie, and finally went for a long walk around the new neighborhood. She saw a bunch of kids outside playing in sprinklers or shooting Nerf guns at each other, all younger than her. She only got 3 blocks away before deciding it was too hot and turning around. The rest of the day was spent curled up on the couch watching her favorite magic girl anime, which the conversation at shul the day before had reminded her she liked.

She woke up way too early on Monday. By the time Papa called her for breakfast, she had finished her favorite book again and rearranged her stuffed animals. After her usual bowl of dry cereal, she put on her favorite space-themed dress and her comfiest velcro shoes and was pulling on the car door handle before Daddy even had the picnic basket closed.

Lexie had never been to these particular fairgrounds before, but they were as bright and full as she expected. The day wasn't hot yet, which was perfect for running around. They each got $5 for a snack so they didn't have to regroup until lunch.

"What about buying fair stuff?" Lexie asked.

"You can have souvenir money on Friday," Papa told her. "Otherwise you'll buy one thing today and find something better tomorrow."

They ran through the rows of stalls, stuffing Sophie's overall pockets and Lexie's narwhal purse with free pencils in every color of the rainbow and candy they definitely weren't supposed to eat yet. Lexie only had a couple chocolate kisses, but before they reached the end of the lane Sophie had eaten six.

They spent the morning looking at every single booth and spinning prize wheels until they got bored. Having pushed the absolute limit of their patience, they made it as far as 11 o'clock before heading for the games.

Lexie went straight for the ducky fishing game. They had a giant octopus as the big prize. The smiling man handed her a fishing pole and told her to go for it.

She did not immediately go for it. She thought the duck she was aiming for—the little gold one—was about three and half feet away. How hard would she have to swing to hit it without overreaching?

"Hey, are you gonna go?" The man looked a little less smiley now.

Lexie blamed him startling her for why the first time the line went flying past the entire tank. It was much closer the second time, but still plopped into the water an inch away from its goal.

"That's alright!" The man encouraged her. "Try one more time!"

"No, thanks," Lexie politely told him and dashed away before he could try to convince her. She had just remembered that she wanted to save her remaining 8 tickets for rides.

The next thing she remembered was that she hadn't heard Sophie's chatter in a long time. She would be in so much trouble if dads found her alone.

Even worse, something might happen to Sophie, who was "not the most responsible or cautious" kid.

The crowds around her seemed to double suddenly. They were mostly adults or teenagers much taller than her and she couldn't see more than three feet in any direction.

"Sophie?" She meant to call out, but it came out as barely a whisper. That happened sometimes.

Lexie ran up and down the aisles of games and all around the rides next to them. Surely her sister wouldn't be bored enough among the flashing lights and interactive booths to wander back to the ones she had no money for. She tried and failed twice more to call for Sophie, but she doubted even at her loudest she could be heard over the thousand conversations that buzzed around her.

She was about to give up and go find her fathers—who were probably listening to one of the free concerts—and enlist their help whatever the consequences (she was pretty sure by now that Sophie was being murdered or had fallen down a magically appearing manhole) when she spotted her long dark hair by a food booth in a far corner.

"Where have you been?" Lexie wanted to be angry, but instead she felt like crying.

"Right here," Sophie's voice was muffled by a bite of chocolate ice cream, "Where have YOU been?"

"You ran off! You can't do that! We have to stay together."

"I didn't run off. I stopped 'cause I wanted to play something different."

"You have to tell me that!" Lexie really wasn't about to admit that she was mostly embarrassed she hadn't made sure Sophie, who had ADHD and was known to get distracted, was with her.

"Don't yell at me!" Sophie was getting mad.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Lexie finally relented. She gave Sophie a quick hug, which was so rare for her—too much touch made her brain go staticky—that Sophie stopped arguing. "Let's go ride the rides. What's wrong?"

"I don't have any tickets left." Sophie's eyes were wide with surprise and disappointment. "I played a bunch of games, and I didn't even win anything. Can I have one of your tickets?"

Lexie looked down at her sister's tear-filled eyes and felt a sudden sense of protectiveness. She planned so Sophie didn't have to. "You can have two. But only if you tell me where you're going."

"Ok!" Sophie's face instantly brightened.

The rides were all bright colors and flashing lights and quick movements. Lexie didn't even know where to focus and let Sophie lead the way, finishing her ice cream and chattering away about how cool every ride was.

And then she saw the swings.

It had always been her dream to ride that one. It was always more pastel than neon and it looked like fun. Just like spinning on the playground swings but MORE. She had wanted to last year but got too scared at the last minute, even though Papa promised to go with her.

"Sit here and hold my purse. I'll be back." She barely glanced to make sure Sophie obeyed before skipping to wait in line. It seemed very soon that a teenager with a green mohawk took her ticket and motioned her up the metal step. Up close, the ride seemed much bigger, but no one else was hesitating to strap themselves in. Swallowing, she grabbed the chains on the closest chair and pulled herself up into it.

She was still pretty sure it was a good idea, right up until a different teenager came by and pulled the metal bar down on her lap. All of a sudden, she kind of wanted to go back to fishing for ducks. She glanced through the crowd to find Sophie, who was still on the bench and completely ignoring her, her favorite otter in one hand and the other covered in melted ice cream.

Lexie gasped and grabbed the chains with both hands at the first jerk of movement. Several people around her giggled, and she heard at least one "Oh!" of surprise. Very slowly, the ride began to spin and rise into the air. She was torn between stomach-dropping anxiety at being so high and absolute delight at all she could see. The rows of booths looked like brightly colored handkerchief squares. The people swarmed like ants—at least, she thought, there were no crowds up here. She soon lost track of Sophie. And then she could see beyond the fair, to the tiny houses of the city itself. The taller buildings downtown looked like shiny metal twigs. She forgot to be worried.

They were spinning faster. And faster. It wasn't scary up here, really, it was wonderful. It was like everything she'd always wanted to feel when she spun herself until she fell down or kicked her legs to swing as high as possible. It was impossible to describe. Like everything that was always too loud and too bright just stopped. Like there was no such thing as feeling trapped and panicked in a crowd. Like nothing existed but her and the seat and spinning. Like she could stay up here forever. She kicked her legs, making her chair wiggle.

It couldn't actually last forever, of course, and almost before she knew it they were slowing. Her stomach dropped again, this time with disappointment, and her legs nearly collapsed beneath her when she first stumbled out of the chair and through the metal gate.

She found Sophie on the same bench where she'd left her, the remainder of her ice cream staining her hands, face, and overalls, but miraculously not Elliot the Otter. Lexie briefly considered telling her to go wash up, then decided it wasn't worth it.

"Hi! I'm gonna go ride the rollercoaster!"

"Ok."

Sophie hopped up and stuffed Elliot back into her pocket. "What are you gonna ride next?"

"The swings."

"Again?" Sophie looked at her like riding the same ride twice was the weirdest thing she'd heard that day.

But Lexie couldn't help grinning at the thought of freedom and flight. "Yeah."

[alolowrites]

After All These Years

Summary: After being apart for six years, you wonder if you are ready to see Toshinori again. 

Tag: @centerhabit (Tagging you as promised! Sorry for the long wait!)

Author’s Note: It is finally here! After four months (I think?), I finally finished writing the sequel for The Point of No Return. For anyone who is new, I highly recommend you read that story first! Apologies for taking a long time getting this story out; I was playing around with a new formatting style. 

Once again, I appreciate the incredible response The Point of No Return received from everyone! I’m still touched by all the comments, likes, reblogs, etc it got!! Thank you once again!!

Without further ado, please enjoy the story!

Word Count: 2.3K+

Six years.

It’s been six long years since you’ve returned home.

Stepping off the plane, you bow at the flight attendant and follow the crowd through the gray tunnel. You find your luggage with ease and quietly walk away. Various shops appear, each selling items travelers needed last minute; one man rushes inside to buy a neck pillow while a woman debates between two beverages.

There’s one store that catches your eye with its colorful display. Hero merchandise spews out the door as pop music plays to lure interested customers into the shop. A familiar color scheme stands out from the rest, tugging your heartstrings a bit too harshly; the imaginary marionettist enjoys seeing you suffer.

“I AM HERE!”

You jump from your spot. The famous phrase repeats and you look below to see a little girl squeezing the All Might plushie toy with glee. She skips away, the toy dangling in her hand and All Might’s comical smile mocking you until it disappears into the crowd. Not even thirty minutes in Japan and already you are regretting your decision.

No, no. You can do this.

You had more than enough time to heal from the pain. At least that’s what you tell yourself to soothe the nerves squirming around. You push them aside. As much as you enjoyed your stay in America, you missed Japan; it is your real home. No matter how far you travel from the island, a part of you stays behind.

And it’s that part of you which holds you back from ultimately moving on. A shuffling noise grabs your attention. An employee proudly adjusts a life-size cardboard cutout of All Might outside the store, and a few tourists stop to admire him. Despite not being real, you feel his eyes stare deep into your soul; your fingers twitch and your skin suddenly becomes itchy. Sighing, you drag your feet down the hall to find the exit.

You need a drink.

—

Glass cups clink over the loud noise bursting inside the restaurant. Laughter erupts at the table after you shared a hilarious story during your time in the States. The mood is lively and relaxing as you savor the rich sake flavor exploding in your mouth like fireworks. Oh, how you missed these fun outings with your friends. Seconds later, a waiter passes by with actual fireworks fizzling on a delicious looking plate. It must be someone’s birthday today.

Your eyes follow the plate and blink. Peeking out from a distance are strands of blonde hair. They are like a batch of wild yellow wheatgrass flowing in the meadow. Someone’s large frame is blocking the view. Another waiter brings more appetizers to your table, but you ignore the food begging for your attention. Nothing matters except for the hair currently teasing you from afar. It can’t be him…right?

You stop breathing when the boulder moves, and you're disappointed. It's just a random stranger laughing into a guy's shoulder. You slump back against the booth. The sake is clouding your mind and making you see things. Maybe you need some fresh air; it is getting kind of stuffy in this dimly lit sauna.

Just as you stand, the whole restaurant rattles. You grip the table as the lights sway and flicker uncontrollably. Confused murmurs buzz in the air until the building shakes again with greater force. Dust puffs out from the ceiling, and tiny cracks spread through the walls. Everyone rushes outside, the streets filled with headless chickens panicking like no tomorrow. You grab onto your friend’s hand for dear life to avoid getting separated.

The vibrant district spirals into chaos as the screams deafen your loud heartbeat. You have no idea where the crowd is going nor what is happening. You are a fish who got caught in a net trap with no way to escape. Suddenly the madness stops, and a live shot appears on the large TV above you. Glowing on the screen is a bloody All Might fighting against the incarnation of evil itself. As the battle rages on, you stumble forward when you see him.

Toshinori Yagi. The man behind the All Might mask.

You watch in horror as Toshinori—in his real, but weak form—persisted on with the fight. Grown men wail in pure agony that their throats turn red. A woman desperately bites her fingers that she almost chews them off. The tension in the air is so palpable that it suffocates you. Clutching your shirt, you hopelessly witness the bloodshed battle getting progressively worse until a miracle happens.  

Toshinori rises from the ashes to deliver the final blow. It rocks the entire ground and makes everyone lose their footing; even the TV screen flickers, but doesn’t lose the picture. When the black smoke clears, you see Toshinori is alive with a victorious fist in the air.

He won.

That’s the last thing you remember before passing out in your friend’s arms.

—

A rainstorm hurls through the city.

The water droplets lightly tap on your black umbrella, the noise surprisingly soothing to your ears that you almost fall into a small trance. A bright light illuminates half of your face, exposing the conflict swirling through your eyes. One car rushes down the street, and you go back to avoid the tsunami wave coming from the sidewalk.

Once the coast is clear, you walk forward but stop when you reach the sidewalk’s edge. You can’t go beyond this point. You’re afraid you’ll drown, not from mini sea emerging on the road, but from your guilt that is deeper than an oceanic trench.  

The hospital’s bright lights glare back at you. Toshinori is in one of those rooms recovering from the severe wounds he received days ago. As much as you want to visit him, see him in person, hold him in your arms…you just can’t. Not when you feel so guilty for leaving him six years ago in roughly the same state—a damaged hero.

You grip the umbrella’s handle. Someone calls your name.

Whipping around, you relax at the sight of a tan overcoat standing a few feet behind. The man walks over and dips his chin to greet you. “Welcome back. It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Detective Tsukauchi.” Your lips curve into a faint smile. “How’s work treating you? Still hectic as ever?”

“Crime never sleeps,” he jokes, and you two chuckle. The rain furiously falls all around you, drowning out the brief happiness you felt. Tsukauchi gazes at the hospital. “You should visit him. I’m sure he’ll appreciate seeing you again.”

“I can’t. Not after what I did to Toshinori six years ago.” Your chest tightens as you fight back the tears. “There’s no way he’ll forgive me after I broke his heart.”

A hand squeezes your shoulder. Watery eyes stare up to meet Tsukauchi’s reassuring smile, the warmth shielding you from the cold rain pouring down. He murmurs, “Something tells me he will.”

You stare back at the hospital; a light turns off, and you wonder if that is Toshinori's room. Tsukauchi’s words echo through your head like a soft chant. You shuffle forward and stick one boot out on the street; it hovers above the fast stream running toward the drain. With a deep sigh, you pull the foot back and hang your head low.

You couldn’t do it.

—

Toshinori adjusts his arm sling until he’s comfortable.

Despite being sickly frail, he feels the bed mattress sink under the weight of his heavy thoughts. He hasn’t been the same since the Kamino incident. The power of One for All no longer flows through his veins, making him feel like an empty vessel. Toshinori was the Symbol of Peace—the strongest hero in the world. Now he is a retired hero after defeating All for One, for good this time. Yet Toshinori wonders if this is all just a dream. The sharp pain shooting down his arm convinces him otherwise.

It will take time for Toshinori to get used to his new life.

A soft knock interrupts his thoughts. Toshinori glances at the door with furrowed eyes; he’s not expecting any visitors today. The doctor medically cleared him this morning.  

“Come in,” Toshinori answers, fixing his arm sling. The person enters, and he glances up only to do a double-take; his blue eyes land on you, mouth agape in astonishment. Sitting straight on the bed, he chokes out your name and asks, “Is it really you?”

“Hi, Toshi,” you weakly smile, putting aside the wet umbrella as you calmly approach him. “It is me. Do you mind if I sit here?”

He numbly shakes his head as you take a seat on the chair. The dam bursts, and all his memories of you swarm at him like a massive tidal wave. Toshinori endures the brutal force even if he nearly drowns on the spot. He blinks and notices something off about you. You’re smiling, but your eyes tell a different story. They are empty and full of despair as if you are in mourning; it worries Toshinori very much.  

An awkward silence falls between you two. Your finger anxiously scratches the chair’s armrest while Toshinori’s feet shuffle on the floor. Every ounce of your self-confidence goes down the drain the longer you stay quiet. Guess that pep-talk you did outside moments ago had a time limit. You bite the bullet by breaking the silence.

“How are you feeling?”

“To be honest with you, broken.” There’s a brief pause before he profoundly sighs, “And also a bit lost.”  

“I know what you mean.” Toshinori’s ear twitches at your whisper and snaps his head up. You squirm under his intense gaze. Your eyes roam to the gauzes tightly wrapped around his injuries he received from the fight; it gives you a deja vu moment. You clench the armrest, the guilt eating you alive. “I’m sorry…”

The hero frowns. “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything—”

“Yes, I did! I left you, Toshi!” He hears the pure anguish tainting your voice as watery eyes come into view. With quivering lips, you croak, “When you proposed to me, I accepted it knowing fully well the sacrifices you must make for the greater good. Yet, I got scared after you decided to go down the path that might result in your death and just…abandoned you. You trusted me, loved me, and I left you.”

A tear rolls down your cheek, which breaks Toshinori’s heart.

“I thought I made the right choice by staying far away,” you whimper, hands curling into fists on your lap. “But the longer I did, the more it hurts me knowing your inevitable fate was getting closer.”

Toshinori unconsciously scoots closer to you, ignoring the pain shooting from his sensitive wounds; they don’t matter to him right now. He opens his mouth to speak, but stops. Out of nowhere, you shoot up from the chair and stand in front of the retired hero.  

“I was in Kamino the night you fought All for One, probably nearby too. When I saw you, the real you, on TV and at death's doorstep, I-I just thought about the day at the hospital six years ago. During that moment, I realized one important thing…”

Your body trembles as you unleash everything with a swift but powerful confession that leaves him speechless.

“I still love you, Toshinori. I always have, and I always will. If you had died on that night before I had the chance to say this—”

You choke as your throat goes dry…

…and then break down, crying into your hands.

The intense feelings you kept buried deep inside your heart finally manifest into the light. No one knew you carried this agony for so long. Toshinori grunts as he stands up from the bed and carefully comforts you with his good arm. He holds you close, not caring if your tears bleed through his white shirt and wet his bandages.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs into your ear. “I’m sorry for making you feel this way. It was never your fault; if anything, it was mine. I’ve made many mistakes throughout my life. However, my biggest mistake was losing you.”

He steps back to graze your damped cheek gently. His fingertips twitch as they remember the softness of your skin. You close your eyes and enjoy his feathery touches.  

“I should have fought harder for you, for us, all those years ago.” Toshinori bores his majestic blue eyes into yours. They are alive and filled with deep admiration for you. “Despite what happened, just know that I love you, and I never stopped loving you. Not once.”

Your heart skips a beat while his throbs like a steady bass drum. He reaches inside his pocket, and you gasp when you see the engagement ring shining against the light. It’s the same one you left behind all those years ago.

“Although my time on Earth may be dwindling, I hope to cherish every last second I have with you. It’s still your choice, but…” Toshinori clears his throat and grasps your left hand. Determination swirls inside his eyes while asking, “Will you accept this ring and marry me?”

“Yes.”

You squeeze his hand as elation surges throughout your body. Toshinori slips the ring on your finger, the cold metal snugging around your skin. Oh, how you missed the feeling of it after six long years. Without hesitation, he captures your lips for a sweet but passionate kiss; the pain washes away and you are giddy.

Pulling away to rub your eyes, you pout, “I probably look like a mess.”

“Nonsense, you look beautiful.”

“Always the charmer,” you playfully tease, sniffling a little. A ray of sunlight shines through the windows, basking the whole room in a warm, golden glow. With soft eyes, you caress his cheek and smile. “Now how about we get out of here and take a nice stroll through the park, for old times’ sake?”

“I would love that.”

It’s as if nothing has changed between you two after all these years.

As always, thank you for reading!

[mylovelyfandoms]

Joshua’s backstory

The Symbol of the Cloud

Basic Information

A/N: Sorry for the long wait!

Warning: mentions of blood, sharp objects, mentions of sexual abuse, slight angst

(GIF not mine) 

- Joshua life was perfect

- His parents loved him from the second that he was born

- So what if he was able to take pieces from the ground and move them around, he was still their child

- And Joshua’s parents would do anything for their child

- They kept him homeschooled, still letting him go out since they wanted him to have a normal life

- And it pretty much was for the most part

- Joshua’s parents let him hang out with the neighborhood boys as long as he didn’t use his powers

- He was the perfect child, despite some cases where he had snuck some cookies into his room, but what kid never got in trouble?

- Once Joshua turned five, his parents had ‘the talk’ with him

- They told him all about what he was and how everything would change from that day on

- They told him that even if he wasn’t able to show it off to people around him, he should still be proud of what he could do

- They told him that no matter what power he grew into, they would still love him and do whatever was best for him

- But as time went by, they couldn’t say they weren’t relieved that Joshua didn’t show any signs of powers

- So maybe they were lucky, they thought

- Maybe his powers just...faded away?

- It could be a possibility right?

- But the more Joshua’s parents researched the affected and the more they observed their son, they realized that his traits were almost exactly matching up to one of them

- The shapeshifters

- They weren’t sure, but the more they realized how sneaky and clever and ambitious Joshua was, they had to make sure

- Joshua was just getting home from playing at the park with the neighborhood kids

- When he walked into the house, his parents were sitting on the couches, waiting for him

- “Mom? Dad? What’s wrong?”

- Joshua’s parents let out a breath and started to explain their theory

- His father pulled out a piece of his own hair and handed it to Joshua

- We can test this, but only if you’re ready

- Joshua held onto the hair and nodded, closing his eyes and focusing on the hair in his hand like they told him to do

- Nothing happened for a second, but then the air around Joshua started to turn purple

- Slowly, his body was getting bigger and his features were changing into ones that resembled his dad

- Even though he could feel himself shifting, Joshua kept his eyes closed

- His father’s old shirt that he was wearing suddenly started to fit and his shorts were too tight on him 

- Joshua opened his eyes and everything was lower than he remembered

- He looked down at his hands and they were bigger and familiar, but not his

- When he looked at his parents, he saw their looks of disappointment

- Once they recovered from their shock that they were right, they put on masks of happiness and took the hair back from Joshua’s hand

- Joshua shifted back to his true form and climbed into his mother’s lap

- He hated the fake smile that she painted on her face to keep him from getting upset

- But he was upset...he knew that with his power he would only be a burden to his parents

- So as the fays passed, Joshua started to look more and more into the facilities he had constantly heard of

- Joshua was at home, waiting for his parents to come back from the grocery store

- He sat on the couch,  mirroring the expression that his parents had just a week ago

- When his parents finally stepped in, Joshua took a breath to calm his nerves

- “Jisoo? Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

- His parents sat on the couch in the same spot that he had

- “I’ve been looking at these facilities, and I was just thinking...I’d really like to be around people like me.”

- Joshua’s parents exchanged a look and grabbed at one of the brochures, flipping through the pages

- Joshua swallowed, “I want to go to a facility. I think it’ll really be fun.”

- He didn’t want to mention that he was going to go for them, or else they’d just live in disappointment

- After a couple minutes, his parents finally set down the brochures

- “Okay, Jisoo. You can go to the facilities.”

- Joshua gave them a bright smile to hide the sinking feeling in his chest

- He ran to give them a  tight hug just to sell his happiness more and ran back to his room to pack

- The entire time Joshua was putting his belongings into a duffel bag, he had to convince himself not to run back down and tell them it was all a lie

- He had to convince himself that it was only going to be a month or so, that he would come back sooner or later

- When the day finally came, Joshua’s parents drove him to the soldier base in the land of the unaffected

- They explained to the soldiers how they had just found out that Joshua was a shifter and how they wanted to place him in a facility

- The soldiers gave Joshua’s parents a knowing look and took Joshua away

- Right when he was brought into a room alone with the soldiers, any sign of humanity that they showed to his parents was gone

- They threw a pair of gloves at him and threatened him if he even tried to move from his spot

- Despite their rudeness, Joshua still had hope for this place

- When he finally arrived at the facility, all of his hope faded away

- They brought him through the facility, letting him see all of the children working with faces that resembled dead fish

- He had even walked past a scene of a soldier beating down some poor elemental that dropped a brick on the floor

- Once Joshua got to the solitary wing, the soldiers shoved him into one of the testing rooms

- He waited anxiously, looking around the room at every single needle and knife there was

- Joshua was never really a fan of sharp things

- When the door opened, he gripped onto the chair 

- A doctor stepped into the room and didn’t even bother to look at him

- “Number 1230.”

- Joshua nervously gulped

- “My name is Joshua Hong.” 

- The doctor looked up from her clipboard and narrowed her eyes

- “You don’t get a name anymore. You don’t get anything that makes you feel human. You monsters don’t deserve that. You are number 1230.”

- Joshua stayed quiet for the rest of the time that he was tested

- Once they were done, the soldiers brought him into a room that was just plain white all over. 

- The only thing that stuck out in the room was a window that was taller than Joshua

- The soldiers pushed him in and shut the door, multiple locks clicking before it was just silent

- Joshua looked around, but there wasn’t much to look at 

- So he decided on sitting down in the corner, staring off into space and trying to convince himself that this was for the best

- He barely even knew he was crying until the collar of his shirt was soaked

- Days went by, Joshua didn’t know how many, and he was brought out of his room for the first time since he got there

- The soldier had a rough grip on his arm and swung Joshua onto one of the chairs in the testing room, telling him to stay

- Joshua stared after the soldier as she left and anxiously waited for the next thing to happen

- Once the door opened again, Joshua stiffened up 

- His eyes widened when he saw a boy that looked about his age walk in wearing the same reaction that Joshua had

- The boy took a seat in the empty chair in front of Joshua and glanced at the soldiers that were guarding the door

- “Hello...” The boy said in a shy tone

- He reminded Joshua of some of his old friends back at home

- The resemblance made Joshua’s chest ache, but he shoved the feeling away

- Joshua wanted to be positive in this horrible situation, so he decided to take advantage of this time that the facility gave him to be with someone his own age

- “Hi, I’m Joshua.”

 - The boy’s face morphed into slight confusion

- “I’m 1004″

- Now it was Joshua’s turn to be confused

- This kid’s name...was a number?

- “You don’t know your name?”

- “What’s a name?”

- Joshua was speechless

- How could a kid be this dumb?

- “A name is something your parents call you. What do your parents call you?” 

- ‘1004′ started to frown

- “I don’t know, I never met my parents.”

- That’s when Joshua realized

- This kid was probably raised at this place

- He’s probably never actually seen a person his age

- Joshua looked down at his hands, suddenly feeling guilty for thinking that he was dumb

- “Are...” Joshua looked up at the sound of the boy’s voice. “Are you a shifter, like me?” 

- Joshua let a small smile make its way to his face at the boy’s attempt of making small talk

- It was the first time he smiled since he got there

- “Yeah, I am.” 

- 1004 shyly smiled back, peeking at Joshua through his bangs every now and then

- “So, were you born here too?” 

- Joshua shook his head, mentally confirming his theory about the boy

- “No, I was just brought in a couple of days ago.”

- “Ah, so they must have been really nice to you.”

- Joshua furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at the soldiers at the door before leaning forward

- “Not really, they’ve been pushing me around and commanding to do stuff.”

- 1004 leaned in too

- “That’s them being nice, trust me.”

- For the rest of the time, the two boys chatted away, almost forgetting that there were armed soldiers watching their every move

- Joshua got to know the boy more and found that they were very similar in many ways

- The boy gave him all the information that he needed about the facility 

- But  Joshua was just glad to make a new friend

- When the soldiers commanded them to go back to their rooms, Joshua reluctantly left, not knowing when he would see 1004 again

- For the next couple of days, Joshua stayed in his room

- The soldiers only came and by to give him some food and water

- Joshua didn’t like how everyone around him always had hazmat suits on

- He thought back to 1004 and how he was the only humane thing about the place

- When Joshua was brought out next, he was hopeful and excited

- He was brought into a testing room and told to sit in the same chair he had a couple of days ago

- Joshua knew that the chair in front of him wasn’t there anymore, but he still hoped that 1004 would walk into the room

- Crushing his hopes and dreams, a scientist walked  in

- That day, Joshua realized exactly what types of painful testing 1004 had told him about

- From then on, Joshua was kept on a testing schedule

- Each day was different, but each week was the same

 - One day, a couple of months later, Joshua had dreamt about his parents

- That day, when the soldiers tried to bring him in for tests, he fought back

- Joshua struggled in their holds and managed to get his wrists free

- He ran down the hallway towards a door when a heavy weight hit his back and crushed him on the floor

- When the weight lifted, the soldier that just tackled him roughly brought him up by the shoulders

- “You’re going to the south wing.”

- Joshua remembered 1004 explaining what the south wing was and his blood went cold

- As the soldier dragged him down the hall, he looked around desperately for someone to help him

- The only other people was the other soldier that Joshua managed to escape from, and a shorter one that Joshua couldn’t quite see because of the hazmat suit

- No one was coming to his rescue

- When Joshua and the soldier finally got to the south wing, Joshua was thrown into a large cage like room

- The soldier stepped in and closed the door, cracking his neck and knuckles

- Joshua gulped as the large man stepped towards him and tried to cower back as much as possible

- He curled into a ball in the corner, but the soldier just grabbed him and threw him to the middle of the room

- Joshua’s head hit the floor and he let out a groan at the dizzy feeling that it caused

- Then the soldier ran up to him and started to kick the boy

- At first, Joshua let out screams and yelps of pain, but eventually, his entire body went numb

- He knew that he was still getting beaten, and the pain was still sharp in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t feel it

- He couldn’t feel anything anymore

- More months went by, and Joshua slipped into a numb state

- After his beating, he just went with everything that they did to him

- He couldn’t feel it anymore

- So one day when Joshua was sitting in the testing chair, he didn’t quite register that there was another chair right in front of him

- “Joshua?”

- At the sound of his name rather than his number, Joshua’s head snapped up

- When he saw 1004 sitting down in front of him, he felt a happiness that he hadn’t felt in a while

 - “10-4!”

- The nickname brought a smile on his friend’s face, making his smile grow bigger

- “So, I’ve been thinking, maybe it’s time you had a name.”

- The boy in front of him cocked his head to the side

- “Like a nickname?”

- Joshua shook his head and smiled. 

- “No, a name. Like a real name, not a number.” 

- Joshua loved the way that 1004′s eyes lit up at the suggestion

- Joshua thought to himself for a moment 

- “How about John? Does John sound nice?”

- He didn’t really think it would suit him, but it was the first name that came to mind

 - 1004 blinked a couple of times and leaned in as if he didn’t hear

- “Jeong?”

- “Uh...” Joshua looked at the boy and shrugged. “That works too.” 

- The boy paused for a moment. “It sounds a little plain, doesn’t it?”

- Joshua furrowed his eyebrows 

- “Uh...how about Jeong Jeong?” 

- 1004 scrunched his nose up

- “No way.”

- Joshua thought of a couple more combinations

- “Jeong...gguk?” 

- 1004 thought about for a little before shaking his head again

- After a couple of more suggestions getting shot down, Joshua started to get slightly impatient

- “Jeong...” Joshua let out a breathy sigh

- 1004 snapped his head up

- “Say that again.”

- Joshua blinked at him

- “Say what?”

- “What you just said, say it again!”

- Joshua furrowed his eyebrows. “Jeong...ha?”

- 1004′s eyes lit up and he clapped

- “Jeonghan! My name is Jeonghan.”

- Joshua smiled at the name that seemed to suit his friend well

- “I can call you ‘Hannie’. It sounds like ‘honey’.”

- “What’s honey?”

- Joshua’s face fell and he started to get into a long explanation about what honey is and what bees were and what pollination was

- Once their time was up, Joshua went back to his room, feeling happier than he had all month

- The next day, Joshua was brought into the testing room and he saw the same chair sitting across from him

- Hopeful, Joshua quickly took his seat and anxiously stared at the door

- Joshua barely paid attention to the three soldiers that were guarding the room

- When Jeonghan walked in, Joshua gave him a bright smile as he took a seat

- There was something about the atmosphere that the boys just knew that they weren’t supposed to talk

- The scientist that had been doing all the tests on Joshua walked in with a clipboard and the usual frown on her face

- “1004, 1230,” She greeted. 

- Joshua cringed when she called his number

- He didn’t ever want Jeonghan to know his number

- He didn’t want his friend to know the label that took his humanity away from him

- “If you both cooperate, this will be over before you know it.”

- Joshua watched as the scientist snapped on a pair of gloves

- She pulled a strand of hair from Jeonghan’s head, having him wince 

- She yanked on Joshua’s wrist and opened his palm, placing the hair in it

- “Shift.”

- With a small glance at Jeonghan, Joshua closed his eyes and started to focus on the hair

- He felt his features shifting slightly and opened his eyes again when he knew he was done

- Joshua saw the shock on Jeonghan’s face and shifted under his gaze

- “Woah,” Jeonghan mumbbled

- Joshua looked at the scientist and his eyes widened when he saw her grabbing a scalpel from a tray 

- Before Joshua could react, the scientist grabbed Jeonghan’s arm and brought the scalpel to his outer forearm

- Joshua watched in horror as she dragged the blade up, blood peeking out of the incision

- When she finished, she turned to Joshua

- Joshua’s heart skipped a beat in fear as she grabbed onto his wrist

- He closed his eyes and looked away, not wanting to see her cut into him

- But when he felt nothing, he opened his eye and saw the scientist tutting at him and placing the knife down

- She looked at her watch and turned to the soldiers that were guarding the door

-  “Alert me if there are any changes in ten minutes. And don’t let 1230 shift back to his form.”

- The soldiers nodded  and Joshua kept his head turned to make sure she was out of the room before he snapped his head to Jeonghan

- “Are you okay?”

- Joshua felt a sense of helplessness as Jeonghan winced and moved his arm to show Joshua

- Joshua stood up an reached forward to inspect it better, but he felt the hair slip out of his hold in the process

- He stood still, paralyzed in fear as he felt himself shift back to his true form

- Joshua held his breath, having the childish hope that if he stayed still no one would see him

- “Hey!” The soldiers deep voice boomed in the room, making Joshua let out a shaky breath

- He could hear the soldier talk into the radio that connected to his earpiece

- “I’m sorry,” Joshua whimpered, hating the way his voice was so shaky. “I’m so so sorry. Please, please don’t hurt me.” 

- Joshua finally found the ability to move and staggered back to his seat

- He buried his head in his hands, scolding himself for being so stupid

- When he heard the door open, his heart started to pound faster

-  “You couldn’t even follow directions for 5 minutes? Typical useless affected,” The scientist spat

- Joshua carefully looked up from his hands 

- “Please don’t hurt me,” He begged, although he knew that it would do no good

- The scientist just scoffed and pulled another strand of hair out of Jeonghan’s head

- This time, he didn’t even try to wince

- The scientist grabbed a piece of tape from one of the drawers and taped it to Joshua’s palm

- Without a word, Joshua closed his eyes and shifted back into Jeonghan’s body

- Though this time, once he finished shifting, he felt a sharp and stinging pain on his arm, making him yell out

- When he looked at his arm, he saw the same incision that the scientist had just cut into Jeonghan’s arm

- “Fascinating...” The scientist muttered, crouching down to look at the incision

- Joshua stared at her and gulped

- He just had to ask

- “Does this mean I’m not getting punished?”

- Once the scientist heard Joshua’s voice, she snapped her head up at him and her face turned sour

- She tore the hair out of his palm and wrapped her hand around his wrist, dragging him out of the chair and out of the room

- Joshua sent a look back, desperately trying to find help

- Though Joshua thought he would be brought into the south wing, the scientist took him to his room

- She threw him in the middle and exchanged a few words with the guards before stepping in and closing the door

- Joshua backed up to the wall and watched as she stepped out of her hazmat suit and threw it to the side

- “You’re such a bad boy.”

- She stalked towards him like a predator sneaking up on its prey

- “Do you not think you deserve a punishment?”

- Joshua curled into himself, trying to protect himself from whatever would happen next

- He heard the sound of clothes dropping on the floor and held himself tighter

- Joshua let out a small yelp when he felt two hands on him, forcing him out of his protective ball

- The room filled with noises of clothes ripping and Joshua’s muffled screams as she had her way with him. 

- After she left, he sat in a far corner in the room, staring at the spot where it all happened

- He was blank and his whole body felt dirty

- He desperately wanted his shower, but he knew that they would only let him the next morning

- The next couple of days were horrible

- He didn’t feel safe anymore

- Every time he saw her, she would act like nothing happened

- And every time she reached forward to touch him, he flinched away

- Whenever her hands touched his skin, his mind would replay the vivid memory of that night and he would suddenly feel dirty all over again

- He barely slept at night, in fear of something happening to him

- The next couple of years were complete hell

- He was miserable and scared and he couldn’t do anything about it

- Even when he saw Jeonghan, it wasn’t the same

- He still felt the usual happiness whenever he saw his friend and it would always bring him away from the horrors of reality when he was with him

- But every time Jeonghan reached forward, Joshua flinched back hard 

- Jeonghan always pretended not to notice, but Joshua could see the concern that covered his face

- He just tried to stay happy for Jeonghan, knowing that he needed the happiness and that Joshua needed the distraction

- And as time went by, Joshua barely got better

- He just tried to follow every instruction, doing whatever he could too prevent being punished  again

- Joshua’s mind was just in auto drive

- The only things he felt were numbness, panic, and the occasional distracted and temporary joy when he was around Jeonghan

-  He didn’t even notice the alarms that rang outside of his cell or the light that was only slightly brighter than the moonlight peeking in through his window

- He barely even registered the time where the soldiers stepped into his room in the middle of the night to make sure he was in there

- It was the day that Joshua would see Jeonghan again

- There was a small feeling of excitement in the back of his mind as he took a seat, but it was so dull and far away, almost as if it wasn’t there

- Joshua stared at the chair in front of him, waiting for it to get filled by his friend

- When he heard the door open, he didn’t even look up, just waiting for Jeonghan to sit down

- Instead, he heard the two soldiers step forward, but he still didn’t look up

- Only when he heard them start choking did Joshua snap his head up

- Joshua saw the two soldiers grasping onto their necks with wide eyes, opening their mouths and trying to get air

- They sank down to their knees with a thud and Joshua didn’t even feel guilty for the fact that seeing this brought him a small, sadistic sense of joy

- When the soldiers fell limp to the floor, Joshua turned to the person at the door and saw a boy that looked slightly familiar

- “Joshua, right?” He asked, having Joshua nod

- “I’m S. Coups. You’re getting out of here.”

- S. Coups shot Joshua a smile and he felt a small and familiar feeling of hope rise in him, but he shoved it back down in fear of getting disappointed

- S. Coups shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a large feather, making Joshua raise an eyebrow

- “Here, shift into this bird. It’s pretty big so you can carry your clothes. Fly to the left and all the way to the end of the hallway. On the right, there should be a window open at the end of that hallway. From there, keep flying straight and you should be able to see someone crouching at the trees just outside of the facility’s walls. That’s Woozi, he’s with me. Stay with him and wait while I get your friend, okay?”

- Joshua blinked at him, taking in all of the information that he was just given

- With a nod, Joshua reached forward and grabbed the feather, shifting into a larger bird than he had ever shifted into before

- S. Coups ran out into the hallway and Joshua went down to grab his clothes in his talons

- When he managed to pick them up, he took a breath and leapt up, giving him a jump start as he started to flap his wings

- It took him a moment, but when he finally got used to his wings, he flew out of the room and into the direction that S. Coups instructed 

- In the hallway, he flew past S. Coups and another boy who were standing at the sides of the hallway and waiting

- As he soared through the sky and past the facility walls, he felt a small wave of relief

- He was finally able to leave the place of his misery

- He was finally able to leave her

- When he saw the boy that S. Coups mentioned crouching behind a tree, he landed a couple trees behind him, changing into his clothes before quietly approaching him

- “Woozi?” Joshua tentatively called, having the boy snap his head around

- “Get over here,” Woozi said, nodding Joshua over

- Joshua quietly walked to where Woozi was and crouched down next to him

- “What’s your name?”

- “Joshua.”

- “Nice to meet you, welcome to freedom.”

- Joshua found himself genuinely smiling for the first time in years

- He was free

- A couple of moments later, Joshua heard a familiar laugh and snapped his head to the direction of it

- Jeonghan and the boy from the hallway appeared, panting from the sprint that they just did

- “Joshu-ji,” Jeonghan called with a small smile

- “Hey, Hannie,” Joshua smiled back, making Jeonghan’s face light up

- “Where’s S. Coups?” Woozi asked, having Jeonghan and Joshua bring his attention to the other two boys

- “He’s trying to get away from the guards in the front. He told us to go first,” The other boy replied before turning to Joshua and Jeonghan. “I’m Hoshi, by the way. This is Woozi.”

- Right then, S. Coups slid past them, scrambling back to the spot they were in once he saw them

- “Let’s head back to camp,” S. Coups panted

- Woozi led the way back to the ‘camp’ that they were building

- He started explaining that the clan they were starting was called ‘Seventeen’ and how they already have a couple of members

- Joshua tuned in and out, looking around at all of the familiar scenes as they walked through the forest

- He reached out and touched as many trees as he could, and felt himself feeling slightly at peace

- Maybe I’ll get better...

- When they got to the camp, S. Coups led them into his tent

-  “We’re going to break in and rescue more people like us,” S. Coups explained

-  “We’re starting with the people we know, and then we’re going to get more and more until there’s no one else to torture and test in that facility,” Woozi added.

- “Are you with us? Because we need all the numbers we can get,” Hoshi asked. 

- Joshua glanced at Jeonghan and the two shared a look

- Before Joshua could say anything, Jeonghan spoke up

- “We’re with you.” 

- Joshua snapped his head to Jeonghan, but didn’t say anything in fear of getting kicked out

- Though, as time went by, S. Coups seemed to have sensed Joshua’s apprehensiveness

- He always asked Joshua if he wanted to go on the missions and always assured him that there would be nothing bad that happened if he refused

- And whenever he did refuse, S. Coups respected it 

- When he finally decided to go on one, S. Coups didn’t make a big deal out of it, just explaining to him exactly what they did

- Joshua always stayed close with Jeonghan, his touch being the only one that he didn’t flinch at

- He slowly started to get better, learning how to let himself feel more positive emotions than negative

- He made friends with all of the members of the clan and got even closer to Jeonghan

- Joshua finally started to feel safe again.

[nyancheetosmusical]

Things about Big Fish that make it so amazing

Full disclosure (what a miserable game BA DUM BA DUMP), some of these are based on our production of the show so it might not be universal. Some of these also have to do with the musical composition bc Andrew Lippa is like Orpheus incarnate sans all the sad stuff i think

-The show opens on the banks of the river and ends on the banks of the same river with a father and son

- EDWARD “Here’s to what’s next.” (EDWARD exits)

WILL “...What’s next.”

GUYS ITS LITERALLY IN THE OPENING SCENE OF THE SHOW AND IT OCCURS THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE SHOW IN THE DIALOGUE UNTIL YOU FINALLY GET TO “WHAT’S NEXT” AT THE END

-Alabama Stomp is actually fun AF

-Young Will, responding to Be The Hero and the Alabama Stomp

YOUNG WILL “Dad, what the hell was that?”

-The argument after the wedding eventually escalates to:

EDWARD “Grow up, Will.”

WILL “I did! You weren’t there! You were never there! All I got from you was a bunch of crazy stories about how awesome you were dad, and, I’m sorry, that’s not the man I see!”

EDWARD “Well maybe you never bothered looking.”

and honestly at this point you don’t know who to be mad at- Edward for ruining his son’s wedding, or for Will treating a character the audience already loves with such harshness

- WITCH: “Soooooo-OOOOOOOO-” ear candy right there I love it

-The fact that Will learns he’s going to have a son at the exact same time Edward learns his cancer is terminal

- In Stranger:

“But after almost thirty years...” (music builds in a freakin awesome way)

“I still don’t know the man...” (music somehow keeps building)

“I wish I knew the maaaaaaaan-” (UGH WILL YOU’RE KILLIN ME HERE)

- Stranger establishes the pattern of Will being too late. He’s always too late. he sings about finally excited to repair his relationship with his dad through his son, when he learns that his dad won’t live long enough to see his son be born. Time is never Will’s friend in this story

-Okay it’s not on the OCR but the song before Out There on the Road is called Ashton’s Favorite Son, it’s maybe 45 seconds and it’s the entire town singing about how awesome Edward is and it’s honestly ridiculous and hilarious, he’s a great baseball player, football player, science intellect, student body president, and then Jenny gets a little number and it’s honestly so adorable and cheesy (also it’s where we’re introduced to Jenny’s theme)

-TIME STOPS. JUST ALL OF IT. PAY ATTENTION AND GET USED TO THE MAIN TUNE OF IT BECAUSE IT PLAYS ALL THROUGHOUT THE STORY DURING SANDRA’S AND EDWARDS INTERACTIONS AND IT HURTS MY HEART

- Also sad because one of the big themes of the show is the fact that time will always pass and there’s nothing you can do to stop it...but sometimes if you find the right person, they can help you stop time for at least a little (which you hear in the music, near the end, it builds and builds and then everything pauses for a split second)

- Edward trying to convince Mr. Calloway to tell him who Sandra is:

EDWARD “I’m gonna find that girl, and I’m gonna marry her, and spend the rest of my life with her!”

Because he knows how he goes...he’s gotta find her, then marry her, than live with her until he dies, which is far before when she goes

- EDWARD: “He told me you loved...daffodils...” I literally get chills every single time

- Daffodils begin to fall from the sky on “Let’s build a world of daffodils/that never fades and never dies/I see the answer in your eyes...” and continues to the end of the song

(blurred my castmates faces out of respect of privacy but dang look at how freaking cool it is)

-Edward tells the story that is Red White and True to Will’s Boy Scout troupe on a campout. He starts to tell the story, the tappers take the stage, then the lead performer of the USO show....

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT “Is that your mom?!”

YOUNG WILL “In my dad’s stories, the prettiest woman is ALWAYS my mom.”

-After Red, White, and True, Edward sends the scouts off to bed, but Will stays behind to talk

YOUNG WILL “When did all this happen?”

EDWARD “Well during the war!”

YOUNG WILL “But which war?”

EDWARD “I...you know, the war! Don’t they teach you anything in school these days?”

YOUNG WILL “That’s just it dad, they do teach us.” (YOUNG WILL storms off)

-In our version of Fight the Dragons, Young Will actually sings:

EDWARD “You’ll come to me and say...”

YOUNG WILL “...let’s fight the dragons/ and storm the castle/ ‘till we win what needs to be won...”

EDWARD “So when I’m old and tired/ you’ll do the job required./ You’ll be there/ telling stories to your son!”

EDWARD and YOUNG WILL “And we fight the dragons/ and we storm the castles”

EDWARD “And I do the best that I can!/ But everybody knows that’s how the story goes/ to turn each boy into a bigger man.../So I fight the dragons..../ ‘till...”

YOUNG WILL “I can...”             EDWARD “You can...”

-STRANGER REPRISE STRANGER REPRISE STRANGER REPRISE

-I can’t put it all but the pre-showdown dialogue is PHENOMENAL, Will is trying to talk to his dad about what actually happened in his life

WILL “Do you know anything about icebergs, dad?”

EDWARD “Icebergs...they were hauling one down to Texas for drinking water! Only they didn’t account for an elephant being inside...”

WILL “Dad...”

EDWARD “The wooly mammoth kind.”

WILL “DAD!”

EDWARD “What?”

WILL “I was trying to make a point.”

EDWARD “Well then, you shouldn’t have started with a question. People like answering questions [which this near exact conversation happens in reverse between young will and edward at the start of the show, showing you how similar they are]. If you wanted to make a point, you should’ve said, ‘the thing about icebergs is’-”

WILL “The thing about icebergs is, dad, you can only see this little part that’s sticking out above the surface. The rest of it is hidden below the water [motif of water again] where you can’t see it...and that’s how it is with you, Dad!”

-Will’s slide during Showdown (”toniiiii-iiiiiiiight”) is beautiful

-Just how happy and cheerful Showdown is...considering the main point is “there’s gonna be a hanging tonight” and trying to convict Edward

- I Don’t Need A Roof....but I do need a tissue...cause that song made me cry every night waiting backstage for my cue...it’s so powerful. It starts out as a lullaby but then the music swells and you can’t help but breathe in with it

-Edward writhing in pain during certain swells just sells it, and our Sandra has one of the most amazing voices I have ever heard, the way she sings it is better than the OCR

- SANDRA “Hear what the rain says, [the flute sound indicating the rain is so perfect]/ know what it knows,/ after the rain something groooows/ I don’t need a roof to say I love you” that swell right there KILLS ME

-But what kills me even more in I Don’t Need A Roof is right after “I don’t need a roof to say I love you,/ I don’t need a roof to call you mine” BECAUSE THE TIME STOPS THEME PLAYS RIGHT THERE QUIETLY UNDER THE MUSIC AND OUCH MY HEART

- SANDRA “Stay with me.../stay with me....” and then she added in there, right at the conclusion of the music, a whispered “I love you”, her voice cracking because she’s crying

-Can you tell I have a lot of feelings about I Don’t Need A Roof

- Start Over doesn’t actually musically resolve like it does in the OCR. Will actually cuts it off before the music can conclude...

ASHTON TOWNSFOLK “Tomorrow begins-”

WILL “Wait! If that’s what you’re saying, then that’s the biggest thing my father has ever done”

And actually, most of the songs with Edward’s stories lack a conclusion. Showdown is another obvious example, but Closer to Her is another one I know off the top of my head, mostly because his story just isn’t finished yet. It’s only with How It Ends we get a genuine conclusion, because, well, that’s how it ends.

-WILLS LITTLE MONOLOGUE HE GIVES TO HIS DAD ALONE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM RIGHT BEFORE WHATS NEXT HURTS ME SO MUCH

- Edward suddenly comes to a little and-

EDWARD “Will...tell me how it happens....”

WILL “How what happens?”

EDWARD “Tell me...how I go...”

WILL “Y-you mean what the witch showed you? D-dad, you never told me that part of the story-”

EDWARD “Will...”

WILL “Dad, I can’t do this! (EDWARD looks desperate. He can’t do this on his own.) O-okay, b-but you have to help me...how does it start?”

EDWARD “Like...this...” (gently gestures to the conductor of the pit. The music of What’s Next begins)

-Will’s story telling getting better and better as he makes the ending for his father

- Edward’s “I-I don’t know! Will, I don’t know!”

-Will remembers all of the characters in his dad’s stories, even the one he’s most cynical about...

WILL “Yes!/ Even the witch is there!”

-THE ENSEMBLE PART OF WHATS NEXT ADFASDADS

-What’s Next fades quietly out into silence...in the silence you can hear the heart monitor of the hospital beeping very quietly

- EDWARD “I know I wasn’t perfect/ I know my life was small/ I know that I pretended that I knew it all...” If i wasn’t already crying by this point I am

-How It Ends musically begins to fade away. We return to the hospital bed, with Will holding his father’s hand. He’s done it. He’s finished his story for him

WILL “And that’s how it happens...that’s how you go...” (heart monitor flatlines with the fade out of the music)

-Dropping daffodils in the pit during the funeral :(

-Right before Be The Hero Reprise:

WILL’S SON “Grandma grandma!”

SANDRA “What is it sweetheart?”

WILL’S SON “We just saw the biggest fish! It was at least as big as a car!”

WILL “Now Eddy, let’s stick to the facts...it was as least as big as a truck!”

HE NAMES HIS SON AFTER HIS FATHER DAAFADFAAFS

SORRY I LOVE THIS MUSICAL WITH ALL MY HEART AND I HOPE OTHER PEOPLE CAN COME TO APPRECIATE THE FREAKING MASTERPIECE THAT IT IS

[the-master-cylinder]

SUMMARY Two teenagers come upon an apparently abandoned military installation at night. They take advantage of what appears to be a swimming pool to skinny dip. The teenagers are attacked by an unseen force in the pool and disappear under the water.

A determined but somewhat absent-minded skiptracer named Maggie McKeown is dispatched to find the missing teenagers near Lost River Lake. She hires surly backwoods drunkard Paul Grogan to serve as her guide. They come upon the abandoned compound, which functioned as a fish hatchery before being militarized. They discover bizarre specimens in jars and indications of an occupant. Maggie locates the drainage switch for the outside pool and decides to empty it to search the bottom, but the moment she activates it a haggard man appears and tries to stop her until he is subdued by Grogan. The two find a skeleton in the filtration trap of the empty pool, and learn it was filled with salt water. The man awakens and steals their jeep, but crashes it due to his disorientation, and is taken to Grogan’s home where they spend the night. They take Grogan’s raft down the river, where the man wakes up and tells them that the pool in the facility was filled with a school of lethal piranha fish, and that Maggie has released them into the river. They are skeptical until they hear a dog barking and they come across the corpse of Grogan’s friend Jack, who has bled to death from an attack on a fishing dock.

The man reveals himself to be Doctor Robert Hoak, lead scientist of a defunct Vietnam War project, Operation: Razorteeth, tasked with engineering a ravenous and prodigious strain of piranha that could endure the cold water of the North Vietnamese rivers and inhibit Viet Cong movement. The project was shut down when the war ended, but some of the mutant specimens survived, and Hoak tended to them to salvage his work. Grogan realizes that if the local dam is opened, the school will have access to the Lost River water park resort, and the nearby summer camp where his daughter Suzie is in attendance. They encounter a capsized canoe with a boy whose father has been killed by the piranha. Hoak rescues the boy, but suffers mortal injuries when the school attacks him; he dies before he can reveal how to kill them. Blood from Hoak’s corpse causes the piranha to tear away the raft’s lashings, and they barely reach shore. Grogan stops the dam attendant from opening the spillway and calls the military.

A military team led by Colonel Waxman and former Razorteeth scientist Dr. Mengers feed poison into the upstream section, ignoring the protests that the piranha survived the first attempt. When Grogan discovers that a tributary bypasses the dam, Waxman and Mengers quarantine them to prevent the agitated pair from alerting the media. After they escape, Waxman alerts law enforcement to capture them. The school attacks the summer camp during a swimming marathon, injuring and killing many children and Betsy, one of the camp supervisors. Suzie escapes due to her fear of water, and aids her camp mates in escaping.

The school continues downriver. Waxman and Mengers arrive at the water park to intercept Grogan and Maggie, but the piranha attack the resort and kill many vacationers and Waxman. Grogan and Maggie commandeer a speedboat and rush to the shuttered smelting plant at the narrowest point of the river. Remembering the empty facility pond, Grogan realizes the fish can survive in salt water; if the school passes the delta, they will reach the ocean and spread over the world. He intends to open the smelting refuse tanks, hoping the industrial waste will kill the piranha. They arrive at the plant ahead of the piranha, but the elevated water level has submerged the control office and Grogan must go underwater; he ties a rope around his waist and instructs Maggie to count to 100 before pulling him out. Grogan struggles to move the rusted valve wheel when the school arrives and attacks him. He manages to open the valves just as Maggie pulls him to safety. Maggie takes Grogan back to the water park, where a massive MEDEVAC is tending to the victims; his injuries are severe and he is seen in a catatonic state.

Mengers gives an on-site television interview, providing a sanitized version of events and downplaying the existence of piranha. Her voice is heard carrying out over a radio on the shore of a West Coast beach. As she says “there’s nothing left to fear”, the piranha’s characteristic trilling sound drowns out the waves on the beach.

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DEVELOPMENT When a former producer’s assistant named Jeff Schechtman and a onetime Japanese movie star called Chako Van Leeuwen approached the exploitation maestro with a script about folks getting eaten by piranhas, he was all ears. “I had been working for Warner Bros. for a number of years,” says Schechtman. “And as everybody else does in Hollywood, I struck out on my own, and tried to put some projects together. Piranha was one of the earliest things I produced. Originally, I developed the script, with a screenwriter named Richard Robinson (author of the Kingdom of the Spiders), then shopped that around. Chako van Leeuwen provided a bunch of the development money, and that is how she came into the picture.”

“Schechtman already had a script by Richard Robinson, but it needed work,” Dante continues. “There were piranhas in this lake, and when people found out about them, they wouldn’t go in. So there had to be a bear to chase people into the lake. Then there had to be a forest fire that chased the bear that chased the people.”

Frances Doel, then Corman’s assistant, was on the lookout for new talent. She’d read John Sayles’ novel Pride of the Bimbos, and concluded that the realist Sayles was the perfect writer for a horror thriller about fish eating people. “Doel hired him to write the script for $10,000,” Davison recalls. “He reportedly wrote the first draft on the airplane from Los Angeles to New Jersey-he’s the fastest writer I know.”

Sayles set about writing a tongue-in-cheek script in which mutated piranhas menaced a riverside entertainment park. “The thing I tried to bring was a little bit of self-consciousness,” he says. “Some of the fun is: ‘Okay, this is a dollar ninety-eight version of Jaws.’” According to one of the many legends that surround the making of the first two Piranha films, Sayles also wrote a “shadow” script in which the military—who could hardly be more villainous in the finished movie—are the heroes of the piece. Supposedly, this script was sent to the appropriate authorities at the National Guard who agreed to lend soldiers and equipment to the production. “I think what happened is they showed a different version of the script to the military,” says Sayles. “Certain things may have disappeared.”

There’s a legend that Corman offered Alan Arkush and Dante their choice of Rock ‘n’ Roll High School and Piranha to direct. The story goes that they tossed a coin and Joe Dante lost, so he had to helm the fish movie. A talented cartoonist, Dante drew his own storyboards for Piranha. “I was more interested in the science fiction aspects of the story,” he says, “so I wanted to goose those up. John Sayles was more interested in the political side, so he turned it into a pseudo-science fiction-cum-political allegory, where fish that were developed for use in Vietnam have come home along with the rest of the War to roost in America. These were atom bombs coming home and eating campers.”

The locations were scouted by Dante himself. “I was at the Telluride Film Festival, and Roger said, ‘Why don’t you stop in a few states on your own time and see where you would like to shoot?’ There was a drought that year, and there weren’t any rivers in California, so we ended up making the picture in Texas, a right-to-work state, which meant we could make it non-union.” Production began in Los Angeles, however, and the night after we shot our first scenes, Roger canceled the movie. He looked at the budget, and felt there was too much money for 2nd unit,” Dante says.

“Chako broke down and cried in Roger’s office,” Davison adds, and she cried so long that the only way Roger could get her out of there was to promise to make the movie.” The picture was a co-production with United Artists, and Davison reveals, “Roger always made sure that the pictures were somewhat cheaper than United Artists thought they were, which was about a million-one. But there was no way to make it quite as cheap as Roger wanted and have it be any good. I ended up calling Barbara Boyle, Corman’s business affairs person, and I think I cried on the phone for more money.”

Sayles’ script called for a state-of-the-art water park, but Aquarena Springs was a rather more quaint complex. Its chief “attraction” was a pig named Ralph that swam and performed tricks. Dante persuaded Sayles to come down to Texas and play the small role of a soldier so that he could perform unpaid surgery on the script to accommodate the somewhat antique nature of the resort… and an appearance by Ralph. “Ralph the swimming swine had been an attraction at Aquarena Springs for years,” chuckles Sayles “I went to a Mexican market in the town and they were selling whole pigs heads. And I tried to convince Joe that at some point we should see the pig’s head floating around after the piranha attack. He said, ‘People will put up with humans being eaten, but not pet animals!’”

So why then, did you—the king of capitalizing on a profitable idea—take so long to greenlight Piranha? Was that film made to ride the coattails of the same year’s Jaws 2? Roger Corman: No, someone brought me the script for Piranha and I liked it, so I hired John Sayles to do a rewrite. That was Sayles’ first screenplay, and Joe Dante, who had just made Hollywood Boulevard with Allan Arkush, was hired to direct it. I was very aware of the success of Jaws, but if I was really planning to capitalize on it, I would have worked right away to do so and not have waited a few years. Because really, the idea of Jaws was similar to my first film from 1954, Monster from the Ocean Floor. It wasn’t that Jaws was original, it was just really well-made.

Can you recall the first time you met Dante? Roger Corman: I met Joe because of Martin Scorsese. We were about to do the film Private Duty Nurses, and Marty was a teacher at NYU and I asked him, out of his students, who would be best to direct it. Marty said Jonathan Kaplan. So Jonathan came out, and with him came Dante, Allan Arkush and Jon Davison, and I hired them all on the spot in various capacities. Joe, I hired as a trailer editor originally.

Today, a Joe Dante film is immediately recognized for its sense of humor, evident in even Piranha’s most intense and violent sequences. Was the film always intended to be a romp? Roger Corman: Yes, I always thought about it as a serious picture with a great deal of humor. It was not intended as a parody, however. It was simply a science fiction/ horror film with lots of humor.

And it was a huge success. Roger Corman: Yes, it was. An enormous one.

PRODUCTION

Meanwhile, Davison was proceeding with casting: Mike Medavoy, then president in charge of production, sent him a list of suggested leads, with actors indicated as 1s, 2s and 3s, apparently in order of desirability. Davison still has the list among his Piranha souvenirs. “The ls were Nick Nolte, Peter Fonda, James Caan, Robert Shaw, Joe Don Baker, Peter O’Toole and Michael Sarrazin,” the amused producer reveals, “but I don’t think anybody ever took those very seriously. We basically had two cast lists-one of dead people who were not available, and people who were still living that we wanted to put into the picture. I remember that we had Richard Deacon for only one day, and promised we would use him only until noon. We couldn’t afford him, so Joe and I paid for Richard.”

Dillman, the biggest name in the cast, says, “I was very impressed by the screenplay John Sayles had written. He came to my home in Santa Barbara, and we sat down and talked about it a little bit. I had done other horror-type films-Bug, The Mephisto Waltz, The Resurrection of Zachary Wheeler, Chosen Survivors, that type of thing,” so he had no problem with the script’s content.

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Another little-known fact, Dante says, “is that Kevin McCarthy’s part was originally played by Eric Braeden. I was a fan of his from Colossus: The Forbin Project; I thought he was great-still do. He came down to the set at the swimming pool, and saw us kids and our jerry-built effects. He may have seen Belinda Balaski getting fake piranhas attached to her. He did his work for that day, which involved floating in the pool while the piranhas came after him, while we see him from underwater.”

“We managed to convince Kevin McCarthy to do it, somehow,” Dante continues. “He was in New York when his agent offered him the part. We called back, and the agent said, ‘Well, he’s walking around Central Park thinking it over.’ For whatever reasons-he wanted to go to Texas, needed money for an ex-wife-he decided to do it. I never met him until he showed up on the set.” McCarthy, of course, has been in many of Dante’s movies since.

When he was first approached about Piranha, Kevin McCarthy was leery. “My vanity had something to do with it,” he admits with a smile. “Joe admired my work. I didn’t want to work on these cheap little Roger Corman things. I’m an actor. I wouldn’t want to be in a non-union situation. The only union he pays is the Screen Actors Guild. The cameramen work under assumed names. But Corman gave many of these people, like Dante, their break. He helped them get started, develop themselves and find their own answers.

“So, when Dante told me how much he wanted to work with me, it was flattering. He sent me a script which sounded like something I might like to do: play a mad scientist, an ichthyologist who’s working on some sort of crazy fish which would eat up most of North Vietnam. I had some interesting scenes in the film and I got to swim the river in Austin, Texas; have karo syrup released underwater as my blood and all.”

McCarthy pauses a moment to consider making the fish fear film. “Joe was open to suggestions. “What if I do it from here or turn around?’ He would say ‘Sure.’ When you get that feedback from a director, it’s great.” film-otherwise, I don’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to do it. So, it has been a great relationship.”

“Keenan Wynn was hired for one day, one of those color parts that give you a name for television, the director recalls. “I had suggested John Carradine, but Keenan had more of a TVQ. He showed up the day before his scene, and started intimating that he might forget his lines if he didn’t get an extra day, that he really should have been hired for two, that it’s a lot of work to do in one day, that he just couldn’t guarantee he was going to remember anything. So we paid him for two days.

“It also turned out that he was deaf as a post from riding motorcycles,” Dante continues. “Most of the stuff he did was sitting on a riverbank with a dog, while we were out in the water. He was screaming, ‘You better yell “cut” pretty loud! He didn’t suffer any unprofessionalism gladly. I never saw a crew work faster than when Keenan was working. And woe betide the unlucky crew member who happened to be in his eyeline when he was being dead and looking anywhere. He was a cantankerous old fellow, but a great guy, full of great stories.”

Steele, of the pale skin, big eyes and great Italian horror movies, played a scientist in Piranha. “It was a dream come true to be making a movie with Barbara,” Davison claims, and she is almost as weird offscreen as she is on, but interesting, and real smart.” Davison pulls out the contract • he wrote himself for Steele’s services. “There was obviously some sort of thing where she was trying to get a little more money, so in order to get her to agree to be in the movie, we had to hire her to also be a still photographer. I don’t know if I ever saw any photos she took, but the contract does say, ‘Piranha Productions agrees to engage player as location still photographer for not less than one week consecutive with her employment. Piranha Productions will pay film and processing and the munificent sum of $200 per. She worked for a week and a day, with two of those days probably used for travel.”

“The trouble with Barbara,” Dante adds, “was that she had a habit of wandering into scenes she wasn’t in. We’d be shooting and suddenly, ‘Hey, that’s Barbara! What’s she doing there?’ She had her little boy with her, and they would just be wandering around. If you brought up her Italian movies, she would laugh and say, ‘Ohhhhh my God!’ and that would be just about as much as she wanted to talk about them, but she did say some nice things about Mario Bava.”

You started off working with Roger Corman and wrote the screenplay for “Piranha.” What did you learn from Corman about the economy of independent filmmaking? John Sayles: One of the things that Roger did that was interesting was he would test market titles. “Piranha” was a title that test marketed very well. And within the genre, he might test market a couple science fiction titles. Another movie I wrote for him, “Battle Beyond the Stars,” marketed very highly. With “Piranha,” it was obviously capitalizing on the success of “Jaws,” and so it rated very high. So he felt that, generically speaking, there’s an audience that wants to see this movie. They don’t even know who’s in it or any of the details about it, but they like the genre. So if we delivered that, there was enough of an audience for us to make the movie.

How did the challenge differ for the movies you directed? John Sayles: With independent movies that are just straight dramas, you just don’t have that. Occasionally maybe there’s a movie about vampires or something, so you have a little bit of a genre going for you, but usually you’re selling a totally new product. If you were a low-budget production, you used to rely on getting lucky and getting some great reviews.

When we started out, Siskel and Ebert had a TV show and one of the great things for independent filmmakers is they would review those movies. They only reviewed the ones they liked, whereas the Hollywood movies, they always wanted a dog of the week — I think “Piranha” got their first dog of the week, ever. They would unload on those movies, but they weren’t going to bother to say bad things about an independent movie. So you got a national show, and you got free national publicity, and there was just no way you could pay for that.

SPECIAL EFFECTS “We shot some stuff at a summer camp in Griffith Park,” says Dante, but the underwater scenes were shot at the Olympic-sized pool at the University of Southern California. “We happened to luck into a conglomerate of really great (FX) guys, the top of their profession-Phil Tippett, Jon Berg, Rob Bottin, Chris Walas-all these guys who were about to work on big movies.” Actually, as Tippett reveals, most of them had just come off another film made for less money than the director wanted, also shot under arduous conditions by people who were simply in love with the idea of making movies. That film was Star Wars.

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“We looked at other movies that had piranhas in them,” says Dante, “but there weren’t very many. And the few that did were things like Pirates of Blood River, where it was all done on the surface–you never really saw anything under the water. They just sprayed buckshot to disturb the water. The most interesting footage was something Bill Burrud, or someone like that, had of real piranhas eating a cow. The interesting thing was that they moved very, very fast.

Rob Bottin making up Paul Bartel

Rob Bottin making up Paul Bartel

“We came up with these piranhas on sticks that, when photographed at eight frames a second, could look like they were moving through the water quickly, the way piranhas really do. Coupled with prosthetic limbs and pieces of flesh that could be bitten and float around in the water, it started to look pretty promising. So we did a number of days of shooting, and brought in naked girls and had piranhas try to eat their breasts. We also had prosthetic breasts with nipples that pulled away.” Dante sighs. “The things you do when you’re younger that you’d never do now…”

The fish in the movie are all rubber, and don’t entirely resemble the genuine article. For one thing, you can barely see real piranhas’ wedge-shaped teeth; mounted ones sold in novelty shops have had their lips pared away to expose the dental work. The fish in Piranha were modeled on such stuffed specimens. “The only thing we couldn’t figure out how to do,” Dante admits, *was to get masses of fish together. We could do great shots of three or four of them at a time, but to get them to come toward the camera, go away or do right and left shots, chases, was really difficult. Pete Kuran ended up doing these scenes on a stage, dry, with smoke and silhouettes and stuff, keeping the piranhas still and moving the camera past them.”

Dante shot some water footage with future Young and the Restless star Eric Braeden, who had been cast in the role of the scientist responsible for breeding the movie’s strain of genetically engineered, super intelligent, mutant fish which are accidentally let loose into a river. They all took this dive course, which was a lesson for a couple of hours. Dressed the pool put tarps on the bottom, and added all these plants, built sets and sunk them, and dumped in lots of Fuller’s earth and dirt. Dante and his special effects team dumped so much foliage and fake blood into the pool they themselves brought to life a new creature of sorts. “We created this fungus that was apparently hard to classify,” says the director. “They had scientists down from Sacramento to try to figure out what it was. It was apparently some sort of new life form. It was in the water—and of course in our lungs as well. They had to sandblast the pool to get rid of it.” Given this, it is not surprising that Braeden decided to back out of the film. “I think Eric was just horrified by the primitive conditions we were shooting under,” says Dante. “He called me one night very politely and said, ‘I’m sorry, I just can’t do this.’”

Rob Bottin on the Piranha set adding some extra gore to actor Keenan Wynn

Finally, Dante had around two hours of footage featuring fake piranhas, and gory mayhem. “We [planned] on showing it all to Roger in a mammoth session,” says Dante. “About 15, 20, minutes in, he said, ‘Okay, it’s not bad. We’ll do it.’ He was about to leave the screening room and I said, ‘Roger, don’t you want to see the prosthetic breasts getting eaten?’ And he looked to me and he said, ‘Do I have to?’”

After Dante and Davison visited Berg and Tippett at Tippett’s home-he didn’t have a studio in those days—they were hired for the majority of the piranha FX. “We had some excruciating hours in that pool,” Tippett recalls. In addition to the diatomaceous earth and Karo syrup, he says, “we used milk and cream. I think when we started, there wasn’t enough time for the heaters to work, so the water was something like 50 degrees. Jon (Davison) ordered wetsuits that were a size too small, so we all ended up getting terrible diaper rashes. There was a stray dog we adopted who would shit in the changing room every morning, so it smelled like dog shit. We were too poor to afford dryers for the suits, so they were wet as well as too small. And because of the concoction that sat in the pool for something like three and a half weeks, it turned into this vile soup that gave everyone horrible ear infections.

“A lot of this came from us just being stupid kids and not knowing any better, and trying to make up stuff we thought would work,” he continues. “There’s one scene where Belinda Balaski gets pulled into the deep with piranha all over her. We figured the way to fasten the fish to her was to grip-tape them all over her body. Then she had to sit out in the hot sun, and the tape just adhered to her body. She was covered with yards and yards of the stuff; getting it ripped off was very painful.”

“Phil Tippett and his lovely wife Jules ran the fish factory in downtown LA,” says Davison. “They sculpted a clay model and made molds, and together with Jon Berg they made lots of fish, and were in charge of the effects. I think it was Rob Bottin’s first professional job; he sculpted the head that bobs up in the water. He would do it only if he got to be the 2nd unit director, and went on and on about this. So we let him be 2nd unit director for one day, as it turned out. We didn’t have any sound for the 2nd unit, which is not unusual, so he shot a scene on the beach about deaf-mutes being eaten by piranhas. That was the end of his directing career for a while.”

“We tried a lot of things that did not work.” Tippett admits. “We had these elaborate rigs of fish on wires between two gantries that were strung up. Then we had people on shore who pulled the lines, and the fish would run underwater. There were so many fish!” he sighs in amazed tones.

Phil Tippett Lab Creature

“Also, I had fish on poles with little triggers that made them snap and bite at the fake flesh. We had other rigs that Jon Berg built, big garage door springs with pieces of metal welded to them that could be adjusted underwater so the fish could break the surface and disappear.”

The laboratory sequence has several strange creatures in jars and tanks built by Walas, shot later in inserts. Dante was amazed by the chances everyone took. “Jules Tippett was underneath this fishbowl with her hand in this puppet with the water dripping out and pouring all over her, while other people filled the tank so it wouldn’t drain out during the shot. She was totally drenched, and could have been electrocuted.”

Phil Tippett Lab Creature

“I did some stop-motion on it, too,” Tippett adds, “a little creature in the lab. We wanted another ending for the picture, where the little Ymir-ish creature has reached the ocean and grown to 30 feet high. He was supposed to come out eating a surfer. But the executive producer didn’t want to pay for it, so we didn’t do it.” When Dillman was brought in to loop some dialogue, he saw the stop-motion beast (which may have been animated by Bill Hedge in place of the very busy Tippett), and was surprised, feeling this would harm the movie—that the audience simply wouldn’t buy it. Later, Dillman saw the finished movie in San Francisco, and sent Dante a very nice letter,” the director recalls. “He said he saw it with an audience, and now understood how it was supposed to work. He said he was very happy to be in it, and that it worked out great.”

This was your first movie with Joe Dante. What was he like, and what was your initial reaction to John Sayles’ script? Belinda Balaski: Working with Joe was a joy! First of all, he allowed everyone their creative freedom. I had just finished doing Cannonball! with Paul Bartel, and here we were on the Piranha set together in San Marcos, Texas. Paul and I had no scenes together, and we were joking around with Joe, saying we wanted to be in a scene with each other. Joe said, “OK, just write one.” So that night, I wrote the lakeside bit with Melody Thomas, Paul and I, and the next day! gave it to Joe, who loved it and we shot it! That’s actually one of my favorite scenes in Piranha. As far as John Sayles and his writing, I consider him an absolute genius. He told me on the set of The Howling that he loved my Betsy character from Piranha so much that he created my Terry Fisher role based on her! That was the day we shot the morgue scene, where he got to be in it as the mortician. John is a great writer, who had all these wonderful scripts up his sleeve just waiting for a break! I’m a playwright and screenwriter myself, and John taught me to write screenplays ”

What were one of the most fun and one of the most difficult scenes to shoot on Piranha? Belinda Balaski: The underwater scene, where it looks like the piranha are pulling me down. There were 10 crew guys at one end of an Olympic-sized swimming pool, holding onto a rope tied around my waist. They pulled me across the pool underwater, and it looks like I’m going down deep!

What do you remember of Rob Bottin’s nasty fish mockups, and did you get to keep one as a memento? Belinda Balaski: They used gaffer’s tape on my skin to tie the rubber piranha to. Then I’d get underwater and the fish would bobble around me, and I would push them away and because they were tied to me, they’d come right back! All this was good and fun till they went to take the gaffer’s tape off-ouch! And sadly, I didn’t get to keep one to remember it all by!

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PROMOTIONAL/ADVERTISING Davison also wrote the film’s pressbook, the advertising and promotional brochure sent to theater owners and newspapers. For the most part, it’s the usual material phony “news” stories, biographies of the leading players and so forth. But in the suggestions for promotion, which include what you might expect-tanks of piranhas in the lobby, goldfish-swallowing projects, tie-ins with sporting goods stores-Davison offered an idea that was probably not meant to be taken too seriously: “Create some exciting pre-publicity by leaving dead piranha at various strategic locations along the banks of your local lakes and streams…Give enterprising kids in your area a few bucks to make themselves scarce for a couple of days. Watch your grosses soar!!

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RELEASE/DISTRIBUTION But the movie was released in 1978 during a newspaper strike, and there were very few reviews and chances for advertising. “It did better in Europe,” says Dante, “and in places like Rio de Janeiro, it played tremendously-faraway places where people don’t speak English. Roger was a little upset that it made more money overseas, but United Artists’ campaign there was so much better than his.”

SCORE/SOUNDTRACK Piranha (1978) Pino Donaggio

CAST/CREW Directed Joe Dante

Produced Jon Davison

Screenplay John Sayles

Story Richard Robinson John Sayles

Bradford Dillman as Paul Grogan Heather Menzies as Maggie McKeown Kevin McCarthy as Dr. Robert Hoak Keenan Wynn as Jack Barbara Steele as Dr. Mengers Dick Miller as Buck Gardner Belinda Balaski as Betsy Bruce Gordon as Colonel Waxman Paul Bartel as Mr. Dumont Melody Thomas Scott as Laura Dickinson Barry Brown as Trooper Shannon Collins as Suzie Grogan Shawn Nelson as Whitney Richard Deacon as Earl Lyon John Sayles as Sentry

Special Effects Rob Bottin Douglas Barnett  … mechanical effects (as Doug Barnett) Jon Berg … special effects Dave Morton  … mechanical effects Robert Short … special properties Chris Walas  … special properties

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY indiewire.com ew.com Fangoria#187 Fangoria#296

Starlog#79

Piranha (1978) Retrospective SUMMARY Two teenagers come upon an apparently abandoned military installation at night. They take advantage of what appears to be a swimming pool to skinny dip.

[ciathyzareposts]

Darklands: Apocalypse Averted!

Any god that teleports me directly from a winning combat to the nearest pub is a god I’m happy to worship.

              After defeating the Templar’s fortress, there was only one major quest left in the game: assaulting the temple of Baphomet and foiling his plans for the apocalypse. This was not as hard as I expected. I found the Templar fortress considerably more difficult.

I had found Baphomet’s fortress ages ago while exploring south of Salzburg, so it was no extra effort to travel there again, dealing with the usual encounters along the way. When I got to Salzburg, I sold the rest of my looted equipment and stocked up on additional potions even though I still had plenty left from the Templar expedition. I also restocked my ammunition. I kept the first three characters armed with handguns, but I gave the artifact Hubert’s Bow to Bianca along with a bunch of arrows. I kept everyone in plate armor, overloaded though they were, based on the reasoning from my last entry.          

Arriving in the castle entailed combat against some large lumbering beasts.

        We were attacked by some demons upon entry–I failed to get their names–but they didn’t last long. The fortress consisted of a very large room which spawned seven hallways on its north end. Each led to a door. The ones on the right refused to open at first, so I tackled them from left to right. Each offered a different challenge aspected to one of the seven plagues, and in each I had to recover a “key.”

Door #1 led to a cavern of fire and brimstone. We prayed to a saint and he protected us, mostly, from the heat. Once we made it through the chamber, we recovered a seed.           

 I don’t know how much damage we would have taken without knowledge of this saint.

          Door #2 offered a lake of fire that we had to wade or swim across. Again, a saint protected us from most damage. On the other side, in the wreckage of a boat, we found a chained woman. She related that we were in the Last Castle of the Apocalypse, founded by Templars a century earlier after they were expelled from France. They brought the “embryo” of the demon Baphomet with them and allied with the witch cult to fuel the demon with power. She gave us a globe full of water with a trout, which she said was one of the keys, and then produced a book containing the rest of the seals, which she soon destroyed.                

An unnamed maiden gives us the scoop.

               Door #3 led to a large room in which we were pelted by potions from alchemists. We killed them with missile weapons and then slowly threaded our way through a maze full of traps. At the end, we found a chunk of wormwood in which a vial of honey had been embedded.           

Avoiding traps on the way to this area’s key.

          Door #4 started us in an area of darkness. It brightened as we entered, and we found ourselves in a maze of corridors in which groups of undead attacked us in melee combat. They weren’t very hard. In the center of the maze, we found a glowing lantern.

Door #5 led us to an area that was like Door #4 but with buzzing swarms of insects rather than undead. We ultimately found a room in which a skeletal horseman sat astride a withered steed. He asked what we would give him to avert a famine. There was an option to pray to a saint, which I took, and the saint said to consider that “not everyone dies from a famine equally–who is the least subject to it?” I then had options to sacrifice our souls, our lives, or our wealth to the horseman. Based on the saint’s clue, I chose wealth, using the logic that wealthy people don’t die from famine as surely as poor people. The horseman gave me a balance and disappeared.              

The party contends with Inflation, one of the four horsemen of the Secular Apocalypse.

            Door #6 opened to a huge army of lancers mounted on “goblin-beasts.” There was another saint option, but I didn’t know any saints that would help. That left me with options only to challenge one of the lancers to single combat or to attack them all. I chose the single combat. The game didn’t show the combat but just resolved it with a text screen, saying that Maximian defeated the demons’ champion and won the Sword of War but was so wounded that his strength and endurance were halved–permanently. That’s pretty brutal. I tried several reloads and that was actually the best outcome; if I fought all the demons, everyone suffered permanent damage to their statistics. Maybe knowing the right saint would have prevented it.            

Maximian basically sacrifices himself for the quest.

           Door #7 opened to a maze with walls of fire and traps all over the floor. I just had the party push through the traps and heal up at the end. I was impatient by this point, and a little annoyed about what the game did to Maximian.

When I opened the door on the other side of the chamber, I was confronted by a seven-headed, ten-horned dragon who offered me options to kneel or attack. Just for fun, because I had recently saved, I chose to kneel. The characters lost all their virtue and the dragon demanded Lambert, whom he tore to shreds before banishing the party from the castle.             

Which head is speaking? Are they all speaking in unison?

            On a reload, I did the right thing and attacked. The party had to approach the dragon across a platform with lava around the edges. The dragon shot fireballs at us, but the “Firewall” potion helped.           

Walking through fireballs as we approach the dragon.

            Eventually, we reached the dragon, or at least the area of the dragon. It was configured so that only one or two characters could fight in melee range, so I sent Maximian to chop at the beast with St. Olaf’s axe while the rest of the party pelted it with missiles and potions. Naturally, I drank every buffing potion that would possibly help.

I accidentally took my eyes off Maximian’s endurance for a few seconds, and when I looked back, he’d collapsed. I sent Lambert to finish the job, which took a few more minutes in which I had to keep the characters healed with potions.              

Lambert stands on Maximian’s inert form to pound away at the dragon.

            Once the dragon died, we were transported outside, where we encountered the head of Baphomet. He announced that he was about to start the Apocalypse and scoffed at our promises to stop him. In a long series of subsequent text screens, Baphomet summoned six plagues, which we immediately defeated with the appropriate key. To wit:

              Rain of ice and fire. Stopped by the seed which grew a tree that sucked up the rain.

Mountain of flame that will destroy all ships and fish. Defeated with the globe.

Comet called Wormwood, which plunges into a lake to make all water poisonous. Defeated with magic honey which counters the poison.

Darkness. Countered with the magic lantern.

            The most sensible use of one of the “keys” in this sequence.

         Plague of locusts. Somehow driven off by the balance.

Demon lancers. Vanished when we waved the Sword of War at them.

           At this point, Baphomet asked if we had the key to ward off the seventh plague and we admitted we didn’t. He said he’d be willing to delay releasing–and give us a boost in attributes besides–if we’d agree to go away and give him more time to perfect the Apocalypse. We said no, we’ll deal with it now, and he screamed that “hope” was the final key and that says we clearly had it, he was “undone.”            

The old rascal tries to trick us.

         A long, animated sequence followed in which the castle came crumbling down and the head of Baphomet was destroyed by lightning, after which beautiful rays of sunlight burst through the clouds.               

Baphomet doesn’t look much like a demon.

            The party found itself at the gasthaus in Salzburg contemplating whether it was time to retire or whether we still had a few adventures in us. I was disappointed to find that there isn’t really a way to “retire” the party in the game. You can retire individual members, but that’s just a matter of party composition. Someone has to remain. I had hoped for a Pirates!-like summary of my accomplishments. Instead, the best I could think to do was sell my excess stuff to build my finances again, donate my relics to the local Dom . . .             

Despite the prelate’s promise, I got no fame for this.

          . . .  and check my party status one final time:

                 “Legendary heroes” doesn’t go far enough. After what we’ve been through, I’d think we’d be up for beatification.

           As endings go, the defeat of Baphomet was pretty epic, drawing a lot of material from Revelations plus a sort-of slanderous mythology built up around the Knights Templar by their enemies.

I like the ability to keep playing after the main quest, though I didn’t feel particularly compelled to. Nonetheless, as I was wrapping up this entry, I envisioned someone coming along and saying that I hadn’t really “won” until I’d defeated a dragon, too. Thus, against their moans and protests, I roused my retired party from the inn in Salzburg and headed north, chasing rumors of a dragon in that direction.

It wasn’t long before we came to the same message of a blasted landscape and a ruined village that I had included in a previous entry.             

The party enters the Soviet Bloc.

  Rather than march around fruitlessly, we used the “Ambush” command to set up surveillance in the area. After a message about a plundered village, we came to a scene in which the dragon swooped down to pluck a knight off his horse. The knight referred to the dragon as “Baruch ophidious.” We kept our ambush, and finally we were treated to a scene of the dragon coming out of a fissure in the ground.        

This game has some of the best static artwork of any RPG thus far.

          We had options to pray to a saint or attack the dragon, but these just led to him flying off forever. On a reload, we waited for him to return to his lair and then approached him in the lair, where he couldn’t flee as easily. We had options to “reason” with him, fight, or flee.      

“Listen, we know you’re supposed to bring about the apocalypse, but perhaps we could convince you not to attack innocent villages?”

             Reasoning just led to combat, so either way the party found itself in battle against a fire-breathing foe. A few gulps of “Firewall” potions did much to blunt his attacks. In the ensuing combat, Maximian went down (remember, he’d had his strength and endurance halved in the Baphomet encounter), but the other three carried the day with minimal need for healing.

Battling the dragon as he sends a fireball into our midst.

               In victory, we looted some of his treasure, which admittedly put my party in a better retirement situation, as they had come out of the Baphomet temple famous but completely broke, thanks to Pestilence taking all the wealth they hadn’t spent on potions.      

Happy?

          Now, I assume I can say that I’ve won the game. If anyone has any final requests or feels there’s anything else I should investigate, feel free to speak up; otherwise, I’ll post the GIMLET and final thoughts in a few days.

Final time: 65 hours

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/darklands-apocalypse-averted/

[allofbeercom]

5 Sex Inventions By People Who Clearly Haven’t Had Sex

Sex. The final fucktier. These are the voyages of the pork cannon Enter Thighs. Its lifelong mission: to explore strange new orifices, to seek out new positions and new depravities. To boldly cum where no one has cum before. Ahh-aahh-aahh-aahhh-ahhh-ahh-ahhhh!!

Fact: Humans like to poke stuff. We poke dead bodies with sticks, we poke the dog when it’s asleep, and we poke each other whenever we get the go ahead from the pokee. But we also recognize, as a species, that poking ain’t always an option. As a species, we have turned to pumpkins, warm bread, modest-sized cucumbers, Fleshlights and, at long last, machines. But where is this poke revolution taking us? Are we doomed to be libidinous Icari, forever humping too close to the sun? It seems like that may be so with what is on the way. And the natural conclusion of our desires may be more harrowing than you ever imagined! Ahh-aahh-aahh-aahhh-ahhh-ahh-ahhhh!!

5

The Blow Bot

Let’s start simple: blowies. Do you like blowies? Sure you do. Statistics say 105 percent of people are on board with playing the ham flute these days, it’s really come a long way. Good PR is my guess. So good.

Indiegogo

Aaaah!

In our thirsty, thirsty quest to gain easier access to blowjobs, we’ve come to the unspoken conclusions that less is more. And by less, I mean fewer humans and by more, I mean more random dick-sized holes. The Fleshlight has admirably proved this theory for me, boasting sales of over 12 million units. Now sure, there are billions of schlongs in the world, but 12 million holes to stick your dick in is no small feat. So maybe it’s no surprise then that a robotics firm started a campaign to fund what for all intents and purposes is an ottoman that will suck you off.

Indiegogo

Aaaah!

The Service Droid 1.0, once you remove its hair and parka, is a flappy footstool and terrifyingly utilitarian slurp Sherpa. And yet, with a little window dressing, it goes from diamond-plated stool you’d use when trying on new shoes to a fairly convincing rendition of a repetitive-stress injury waiting to happen.

Indiegogo

AAAAHHH!

Why does such a machine exist? The non-judgmental answer is that getting your dinky doodled feels good. Men, by and large, enjoy such a thing. But it’s very hard to do it to one’s self without falling off the couch and hurting your neck, and for a good number of men it’s not all that easy to find someone to do it for you when and where you’d like it done. And when it comes to enjoying a nice duck l’orange, if you can’t do it yourself, you may have to go without if there are no chefs around. But when it comes to the dick l’oral, if the tech exists to have it done for you, why the hell not*?

*At some point in time, the answer to “why the hell not?” must necessarily be “because eew.” This machine is dangerously close to that. It’s furniture, for God’s sake. If artificial suckulations become such a part of your life that you need to rearrange other furnishings and/or dust them regularly, that may be an issue. But it also demonstrates that maybe you’re looking for something more …

4

Holographic Wives

Let me start by acknowledging that while you can’t actually jam your little squish fiddle into a hologram, there’s something to be said for the level of intimacy this thing provides for you. Well, not for you, but definitely for the sort of person who wants to invest in a hologram wife. This is the next step after blowies are secured — a sense of togetherness.

The video demo shows a several-inch-tall, blue-haired anime girl inside the holo-wife Keurig waking her man up, texting him messages throughout the day, turning the lights on before he gets home, and watching TV with him at night. It’s pretty much the physical embodiment of the most depressing thing you’ve ever masturbated to, amped up by a factor of “fuck my life.”

The commercial for this $2600 companion wants to sell you on the idea that it’s like having that special someone, and that you’ll be in a relationship where someone cares how your day went and when you’ll be home. Jerking off while this thing watches must always end in tears, and that’s OK. She’ll probably tell you so. Because that’s what you paid for. Or at least it’s what the people who buy these think they want …

3

The No Sex Bot

It turns out, what you want isn’t just non-stop head bobbing and incessant texts. I need you to get some hand sanitizer before you read this section, or at the very least, a basin of warm water and a bit of soap. This will be vital in a few moments. Please do so now.

I assume you are now prepared to learn about Pepper, a socially interactive robot designed to be your little round-domed cyber buddy. Pepper is meant to converse with you, recognize your moods and react to them, and be kind of like Webster — just a short-ass widget who lives in your house and is more or less a friend. Also like Webster, it’s child sized. Is your basin of water still warm? I hope so.

As part of the contract one must sign to obtain their very own Pepper bot, you have to agree to not fuck it. There’s a no-fucking clause. Imagine, for a moment, going to the store to grab a nice bit of corn for dinner, and the cashier, before ringing you up, makes you sign off on a “do not stick your corn in your ass” stipulation. Now imagine why management had to ask you to sign that in the first place. It’s because management was pretty sure, based on research, you were going to fuck the cob out of that corn.

Pepper, we must assume, was going to be fucked. They were certainly worried it was going to be fucked. And, in fact, some people wrote some programming up to make the display on Pepper’s chest turn into boobs that you could then grope. They literally called it a sexual harassment interface.

Bedroom eyes.

So people wanted to pork Pepper. Little, child-sized, Small Wonder-esque Pepper. And the first perv program was a sexual harassment one where you grope Pepper and Pepper actively tries to stop you from groping it and would, after extensive groping, take a photo of you and post it to social media. Are you trying to sanitize your brain yet? Feel free to start.

So what does this wrinkle in the plan prove? You want to have sex with robots and yet you want them to not want to have sex with you? What could that mean? That the world is terrible? Yes. Extremely yes.

2

The Romantic Bots

People want sexbots that are multifaceted. Sure, a sexbot can be fun in the same way those VR headsets you put your phone in can be fun. Which is to say a minor distraction for a solid 15 minutes. But then what? Imagine yourself in bed, $5000 or so worth of synthetic flesh beneath you. You’re grunting ever so slightly as marble eyes stare through you and various body parts warmed by hot water slowly cool down in a way that, if you think too hard about it, will make you feel like you’re actively fucking a corpse with really nice hair. You jigger and thrust your goodies against its lifeless yet adequate loins until you release a brief spray of satisfaction and dignity, then roll over and use a baby wipe to clean off the residue so that it’s not a flakey mess the next time you get this lonely. Is this your life?

“Do you not love me, Ian? Do you not wish to know heaven and hell simultaneously?”

Enter Sergi Santos and I use the word “enter” boldly. Santos has created a doll that responds to your advances and requires finesse. You need to charm her. Woo her. Make her one of us. Samantha, as she’s called, needs that soft touch. You have to hold her hand. Kiss her. Get her in the mood and then, once she’s there, she’ll respond to your hard work by having an orgasm. I guess. I mean, that’s what the press says. Looks like a dead-eyed rubber fish to me, but I haven’t taken it for a spin so I wouldn’t know. I’m a few rungs down the ladder from respectable but I’m not “try to make a doll get off” miserable.

“I have seen us, Ian. I have seen pain and I have seen us. And the line, it is blurred, my darling.”

Elsewhere in the world of dick mittens is Harmony, touted as the first AI sex bot. Watch this and marvel as your snickerdoodle makes an audible whistle from how fast it retracts in fear.

Harmony is supposed to recognize your face, your voice and your desires according to the schtick here. The first two require what is now some fairly commonplace technology. That third one is just some weird-ass shit that probably means if you put a finger in her rubber butt ten times in a row, she’ll ask you if you want to do it in advance the 11th time. It’s how I do it and I’m real as shit.

There are plenty of articles online saying AI is the future of sex robots, so this must be where we’re heading, right? And once we get there, what happens?

1

The Robo Wedding

Naturally, once you’ve found a special someone, you’re going to want to take that next step, even if your special someone is incapable of locomotion and the next step involves crating them up and having them moved to a new location. Such is the case with Zheng Jiajia, a 31-year-old man who decided to tie the knot with his Sausage Socket.

What goes on at a sex robot wedding? The typical sort of thing — family is in attendance, there’s a nice location, your bride is made of latex. But more importantly, why is such a thing happening? According to Zheng, he was frustrated at not being able to find a woman. And sure, that happens. Many people have had that period of being so frustratingly single that you start to wonder if maybe you emit a curious odor that’s a cross between a foot and a foot’s asshole. Zheng just used his engineering skills to overcome that issue.

Smelling like poop foot is really hot among robots nowadays, thank you very much.

Man, look how far we’ve come. We have a realistic blowjob bot with hair you can style and realistic movement and off-putting suction that can be adjusted by jamming a finger in what amounts to a porno trach tube. We follow up the physical with the emotional — a holographic wife who reminds us to take an umbrella and sends us messages throughout the day to remind us they’re at home waiting. And then we get the curve ball, a robot designed specifically not for sex, a companion that, even when hacked to become sexual, is hacked in such a way that the sexual advances are unwanted. And then finally a doll that isn’t just a squish mitten, but one that requires you to put in effort. You need to seduce it. Now just connect the dots.

“Put in the effort, Ian. I will take you to a genital paradise and then tear up our only map.”

You have form and function. You have depth and emotion. You have personality and independence. You have desire and encouragement. What you have, fellow humpatheletes, is a direct path towards humanity. In the future, we’re going to want to bang other humans.

The logical conclusion of all of these technical innovations is that people want to have sex with people. You want someone who can actually communicate with you, and who actually has their own perspective and point of view. It’s the only thing that makes sense. And it may be totally subconscious but that’s what all of these products are saying. One day, maybe long from now, we’re going to be porking each other instead of rubber slosh pockets. Ain’t that something?

The proliferation of beer pong and craft beer may have you think that we’re living in one of the peak times to get drunk, but humans have been getting famously hammered for millennia. Like a frat house’s lawn after a kegger, history is littered with world changing events that were secretly powered by booze. The inaugural games of the Roman Coliseum, the drafting of the U.S. Constitution, and the Russian Revolution were all capped off by major parties that most attendees probably regretted in the morning.

Join Jack O’Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history’s biggest moments you didn’t realize everyone was drunk for.

Get your tickets here:

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-sex-inventions-by-people-who-clearly-havent-had-sex/