#he also wants to surpass all might so he learned spanish and i can see him wanting to have a term in latin america

[tumblasha]

"a dios le pido" by juanes is bakugou's most played song the summer after his first year of high school (span - eng translations in tags)

A Dios le pido Un segundo más de vida para darte Y mi corazón entero entregarte Un segundo más de vida para darte Y a tu lado para siempre yo quedarme Un segundo más de vida yo A Dios le pido Y que si me muero sea de amor Y si me enamoro sea de vos Y que de tu voz sea este corazón Todos los días a Dios le pido

[cheeseceli]

You speak another language

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader

Genre: fluff, reaction

Warnings: mention of food at Lee Know and Felix's, I think that's it?

Request: how do you think ot8 would react to the reader speaking in their native language? Especially if it's not korean/english?

A/n: It's embarrassing the amount of time I took to write this one💀 the worst part is that I actually spent every week tryna find the best way of putting all my ideas together. Hope you like it anyways!

Bang Chan

‌Would have a pet name for you in your mother tongue

‌ Like idk if you speak spanish his nickname for you would be "mi amor"

‌Finds it really attractive btw

‌When you're speaking your mother tongue he sees just how much comfortable you are

‌You literally shine in his eyes

‌He'd just be staring at you with heart eyes

‌And if you're learning Korean or English he'd be more than glad to help you overcome your difficulties with the language

‌Would be your personal professor fr

‌Speaks slower around you so you can understand everything, and wouldn't mind repeating himself at all

‌He knows that the language barrier can be a bit intimidating and that it can make you afraid of opening up completely

‌But he'd be so reassuring all the time

‌Really tries his best to comfort you when you need it and it doesn't matter the language, he makes is clear that he loves and will be with you all the time

Lee Know

‌If you had a hard time speaking Korean but still tried your best to communicate with him and his parents in Korean, he'd fall DEEP in love with you

‌He gives me major "I don't understand but I love you" vibes ngl

‌lmao he'd learn the bad words before anything else

‌If you're speaking your mother tongue when in the phone he'd try to guess what you're saying

‌Genuinely doesn't know what's going but he's invested

‌And he repeats some words after you say it

‌Not in a mocking way, he just finds it cool how the word sounds and keep repeating it to himself

‌Like if you speak french he'd be like "bonjour. Bonjour? Bonjour"

‌It's endearing

‌But yeah you'll have to translate everything to him later

‌He wants to know about the tea

‌Cooks your hometown dishes for you!!

Changbin

‌ If you have a foreign accent when speaking Korean or English he finds it adorable

‌ And he also finds your mother tongue adorable

‌ It doesn't matter if you speak one of the sexiest languages in the world

‌ This man finds it adorable

‌Eventually learns your language

‌He'll take classes, buy text books and everything

‌He truly believe that learning how to communicate with you (in every language for that matter) is like a "boyfriend duty"

‌So he'll be more than happy to learn

‌Tries to show his affection in ways that are not spoken as well so you both could surpass the language barrier

‌He'll get you flowers, gifts, would take you to amazing places, would have the best dates with you and everything you can ever think of

‌You'd have the best memories ever with him and no word would need to be said

Hyunjin

‌ Would ask you to teach him some pet names and sweet phrases in your language

‌ And would 100% say "I love you" in your mother tongue in certain moments

‌ Like in more intimate moments that he wants you to truly understand how much he loves you

‌ Would love if you replied with saying "I love you" in Korean

‌If you have a different accent than him when speaking Korean/English he might start speaking like you

‌yk when you get someone's accent just by living next to them

‌That's him

‌He finds it fancy

‌And when the boys tease him for this he might get shy but he's also so proud? Like "yeah I got it from my s/o :D"

‌Writes a letter to you once he finds confidence in speaking your language. It might have some mistakes here and there but it was so sweet, and the intention behind it was so lovely, that you couldn't help but tear up a bit when you read it for the first time

Han

‌Loves your culture so much

‌He'd ask you to show songs and movies and things like that in your language

‌Like if you're Indian he'd ask you to show him some Bollywood movies

‌He'd try to guess what they are saying and it's a whole game for him

‌He's there for the vibes honestly

‌But I think he'd end up learning a thing or two and later would like to learn the whole thing

‌Would incorporate your mother tongue in his songwriting I'm 100% sure

‌And!! would ask for songs recommendations so he could sing to you when you least expect it

‌Learns two words in your mother tongue, probably uses them in the wrong way, thinks he is fluent.

‌But he also knows a lot of slangs in your language, it's kinda surprising ngl

‌He'd occasionally drop a random slang in your language when talking to the kids and everyone would be like ???

‌"what did you say?"

Felix

‌ Learns your language to surprise you

‌ Like every time there is a break when he's practicing he'd open duolingo

‌(He'd have a hella long strike, 100 days in a row or smth)

‌When you're speaking on the phone with someone he tries to listen to it as a listening exercise

‌Is smiling to himself throughout the period of the call and when you ask the reason why he just brushes it off

‌Cooks your hometown dishes for you pt. 2!!

‌But seriously tho

‌He knows it's hard to be far from home, especially by yourself

‌So he really tries to make you feel at home

‌He will cook your nationals dishes, will sing songs in your language, will encourage you to speak in your mother tongue around him etc

‌:(

‌Also, 2 kids 1 room flashback

‌He likes to have meaningful conversations with you where he tells you how much he loves and appreciates you

‌Unlike Hyunjin, he'd say everything in English because it feels more genuine for him, as it's his first language

‌So if you're replying to him in your language, he'd feel SO happy

‌He thinks this is like a proof that everything you're saying comes from a deep place somehow. It makes him fall in love once again

Seungmin

‌ Wants to learn your language the moment you guys get in a serious relationship

‌ Besides wanting to be able to talk to you in your own comfort zone

‌He'd want to be able to talk to your friends and family who speaks your mother tongue

‌ Like the first time he sees your parents he'd be ready to talk to them

‌i'm so down bad for this man it's not even funny anymore

‌anyways

‌Would take you everywhere in Korea so he could show you a bit of his home (would tell stories about the places so excitedly)

‌And would love if he had the opportunity to go to your country

‌Would love it even more if you showed the place around to him and explained a bit about everything you know

‌If in the first stages of the relationship there is a language barrier, he'd plan dates that don't involve a lot of talking

‌Like he'd take you to concerts and karaokes

‌music is universal after all isn't it?

‌He always give his 100% into the relationship it's so cute

I.N

‌ Finds it really attractive pt2

‌ He loves your accent

‌ And he loves your mother tongue as well

‌ He could spend a whole day just listening to you speak, even if he doesn't understand a single word

‌ And if you're learning Korean, he'd love to see your progress and to see you getting more comfortable while speaking it

‌ I also see two possible scenarios:

‌ One, he'd wake up one day really determined to learn your language and wouldn't stop until he does

‌ Two, he'd never stop and actually learn it, but he'd end up catching up with some things you say and show to him. So in the end he'd know the basics and some essential phrases

‌I believe he'd genuinely enjoy to learn about your culture

‌Like, whenever a cultural shock comes up, he'd be invested in understanding it?

‌Of course sometimes there would be misunderstandings, but I truly think he would try to see the positive view rather than seeing only the cultural crash

‌He might even learn a thing or two and get your culture's habits

Feedback is very much appreciated!!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[r6shippingdelivery]

headcannons for hobbies? Like what they do on their off time?

Hi nonnie! I actually did a Hobbies HC for “all” ops a long time ago. But seeing that was before the expanded bios, and it only reached up to Gridlock and Mozzie, I’d say it’s time for an updated version, don’t you say? 

Some of the answers are unchanged from the old post, because I already nailed it or the new info didn’t disprove my ideas. But I had to revise a lot of the answers I gave the first time around! In order to find their hobbies and/or get a glimpse of their lives beyond Rainbow and what they might like, I read all the bios, and looked up concept art, and elites, and past battlepass content, etc. And when none of that was enough, I just went with my gut instinct 😂 Thank you to @grain-crain-drain, @dagoth-menthol & @todragonsart for bouncing ideas with me when I was stuck! 💕

Hobbies Headcanons for ALL ops (up to Neon Dawn)

FBI

- Ash: According to her savta, shooting things is not a hobby, but Ash disagrees. And since according to her expanded bio she knows Hebrew, Arabic, English, French and Greek, I’m willing to bet she enjoys learning languages as well. - Thermite: He grew up on a ranch and loves riding. He’s also taken an interest in improving gadgets it seems, so my old proposal that he dabbles in forging/smithing stuff seems plausible. And based on this concept art, demolition derbies attending and maybe even competing himself too? - Pulse: He’s interested in a variety of topics and goes through phases of intense, nearly obsessive focus, until something else captures his attention. He still has a lingering fondness for building muscle cars, since it was something he used to do with his father. And like Thermite and Hibana, it seems he might enjoy demolition derbies. - Castle: He’s a language nerd, studying/reading/practicing new languages is his hobby for sure. Since the expanded bio says he rescues abused dogs, I don’t think it would be far fetched he volunteered at animal shelters too.

SAS

- Thatcher: Aside from repairing his boat, The Iron Maggie, he also enjoys fishing. He used to do that with his dad & brothers, and tried to take the rest of the SAS fishing as a bonding experience. It didn’t go very well - Sledge: He plays rugby, and has an inexplicable fondness of trying the wildest ideas that tend to end with something broken, be it one of his bones or a structure or wall (just read his extended psychological profile and you’ll see, lmao) - Smoke: Boxing, it helps him focus all his chaotic energy. And chemistry in general, it’s not just a hobby but a passion of his. - Mute: he enjoys tinkering with stuff, taking it apart and then putting it back together in a different way, just to see if he can improve it or make it work in his own way. Flying drones plays perfectly into that, with the added bonus of being able to do the flying part just for fun too.

GIGN

- Montagne: His main passion is working with people, teaching and mentoring others, and therefore when he’s not on duty, his main passtime still is mingling with people and getting to know them. I could see him making overtures with Castle, interested in the American and fascinated by his knowledge of various languages, an area Monty feels insecure about due to only knowing French and English.  - Twitch: Engineering, robotics and developing an empathic AI is her life.Twitch is a workaholic passionate about those topics. She also greatly enjoys traveling and, according to her expanded bio, people watching.  - Doc: He surely had some hobby at one point, but he can’t remember it, or the last time he had free time for it. Doc is also a workaholic, although one that loves to complain about it.  - Rook: Apparently he’s passionate about cycling, auto racing, and rock concerts. Mainly cycling though, since he dropped out of university to cycle around France.

Spetsnaz

- Tachanka: He collects and repairs old weapons. Mostly soviet, but he has some interesting pieces from other countries too. And he dances surprisingly well.  - Kapkan: Aside from a certain interest in psychology, his main hobby is hunting, of course. But he also whittles and carves wooden figurines.  - Glaz: Quite obviously, painting. He’s an artist, and quite a good one. He also likes playing cards, especially poker. - Fuze: He builds new weapon prototypes for fun. And tests them, if he can convince Six of it. He also likes to bake from time to time, a skill he learnt thanks to his grandma - and because he has a sweet tooth.

GSG9

- Jäger: Planes. Model planes, repairing old WWI & II planes, you name it. And watching copious amounts of documentaries.  - Bandit: His bike is his main hobby, both taking care of it and riding it. He also likes playing pool; and, if pranking people counts as a hobby, that’s his oldest one, dating from when he was a kid. - Blitz: He was and still is an athlete at heart, and Blitz loves running. - IQ: In order to disconnect from engineering pursuits, she indulges in rock climbing, spelunking, and writing science fiction stories.

JTF2

- Buck: He crafts mechanical puzzles, and enjoys all kinds of physical activity that can take place outdoors. - Frost: She just loves being surrounded by nature, and often goes mountain climbing or diving.

SEAL

- Valkyrie: Swimming and diving, of course! She wanted to be a professional swimmer, but now it’s just a hobby. And apparently she enrolled for a helicopter pilot license, and language classes. - Blackbeard: According to the expanded bios, he likes sailing and even participated in a championship. And since he climbed Mount Everest, it’s safe to say he also likes mountain climbing.

BOPE

- Capitao: He loves football, playing or watching it, doesn’t matter, he’s all for it. - Caveira: Spends a lot of time practicing Jiu Jitsu, in the gym and also on unofficial tournaments.

SAT

- Hibana: For her it’s traditional Japanese archery (Kyūdō). And probably demolition derbies too accounting that concept art from before with Thermite and Pulse. - Echo: According to the expanded bio, he has few interests outside work, but I always imagined he’d be into gaming and e-sports. Hacking too, and that’s a direct influence from Dokkaebi.

GEO

- Jackal: He plays the acoustic guitar/spanish guitar, and sings too. And now we also know he volunteers with at-risk youth. - Mira: Fixing cars is second nature to her, and thanks to her expanded bio we know she also does metal sculptures that incorporate used mechanical parts.

SDU

- Ying: Extreme driving, which can sometimes trigger her PTSD, and traveling. Especially exploring cities by randomly jumping in public transport and just going anywhere. - Lesion: He is also one to volunteer in underprivileged areas (like Junk Bay, where he grew up), and clearing mines and other unexploded devices. I also imagine him with a certain gusto for playing blackjack.

GROM

- Zofia: If obsessing about her father’s supposed suicide and the oddities surrounding it, and desperately trying to reconnect with her sister count as hobbies, sure, she has those. - Ela: She’s also an artist, one with a very particular vision that some have called narcissistic. Apparently she also does some “freelance” volunteer work, roaming the streets at night and offering help/comfort, or a willing ear to the people she meets.

707SMB

- Vigil: He likes to take walks around the forest, just aimless exploring and marvelling at nature and any animals he might come across. Often listens to relaxing music while doing so, and he might pick a pretty rock here and there to bring home. - Dokkaebi: Hacking is her hobby, of course. She also has several social media profiles and is an active member in a couple of hacking forums. As per a previous battlepass, I believe she enjoys mountain trekking too. And dancing to electro beat, due to her elite.

CBRN

- Lion: His rebel years left him with an appreciation for rock music and a dream to be in a group. Lion still plays the electric guitar, when he’s not off volunteering at the local church. - Finka: Pushed by her parents from a young age to try different sports, just like her siblings, she eventually discovered a strong love for fencing and ice-skating.

GIS

- Maestro: Cooking, and boxing, an interest he shares with Smoke. But mostly cooking. - Alibi: She’s also a marksman, engages Ash in friendly shooting competitions.

GSUTR

- Clash: She’s very involved in different activist causes, mostly surrounding racial issues and inequality. - Maverick: Photography, mostly nature or candid shots of his fellow operators. I also think he likes horses and riding. And Buzkashi of course, but he hasn’t played since he left Kabul.

GIGR

- Kaid: Playing chess, he’s a good strategist and it shows. And  while dozing off with a cat on his lap is not a hobby, he also loves that. - Nomad: Traveling to all sorts of remote locations, she’s an explorer with a thirst to prove herself. She also keeps a travel journal, which includes maps and some drawings of the places she’s seen.

SASR

- Mozzie: Dirt biking, of course. The more dangerous the jumps and stunts are, the more he likes it. He knows his limits and works to surpass them. - Gridlock: Robotics. She still wants to compete again in robot championships, just like she and Mozzie did so many years ago. She would consider that fixing cars and vehicles has become more part of her job than a hobby, but still loves it too.

Phantom Sight

- Nokk: Fencing, as evidenced by some of her concept art, she participated in fencing tournaments. - Warden: He knows appearances are important, and he cultivated a very specific image, so he likes to take care of that, be it by buying luxury or antique cars, or designer suits, etc.

Ember Rise

- Amaru: Archeology and exploring the Amazon jungle is her passion. It used to be her whole life and job, but since she joined Rainbow, she’s been busy with training and missions, yet she never lost her love for adventure, history and protecting her country’s cultural artifacts. - Goyo: He’s a really good chess player, and enjoys other games where he either has to think, or his usual poker face and calm demeanor can throw his opponents off.

Shifting Tides

- Kali: When she’s not writing reports about her underlings progress, or making lists about who should be ascended/rewarded, who needs to be punished or chastised, etc, she’ll be doing yoga, since it helps her focus. Or hardcore pilates when she needs to burn away some frustration first. - Wamai: Diving and being underwater in general, be it on his special immersion tanks or on the actual sea, it doesn’t matter. He finds it calming (and he’s addicted to the anoxia sensation)

Void Edge

- Iana: Space exploration fascinates her, and she’s always trying to learn everything she can about the cosmos, watching documentaries and conducting her own in-depth research. - Oryx: Wrestling helps him hone his physical prowess, and it’s also a measured outlet for his deep seated rage. He also greatly enjoys reading poetry.

Steel Wave

- Melusi: She’s committed to the conservation cause, which stems from both her love of wildlife and nature, and her protective instincts. She likes to explore too, although she’s not driven by a will to prove herself or reach certain goals, but simply for the joy of seeing natural spaces. - Ace: Social Media. He’s obsessed with his public image and popularity. While he travels quite a bit, it seems he does it more to share new and exciting selfies on Instagram than for the pleasure of visiting new places.

Shadow Legacy

- Zero: He knits and crochets, it’s an engaging hobby that helps him clear his mind, plus he enjoys making stuff too. Not many people know about this side of him though. 

Neon Dawn

- Aruni: She and Hero, her giant pouched rat, volunteer on landmine detection and removal efforts. She also likes to travel extensively, and has done so in the company of Twitch and Nomad.

[euariel]

⟨ ARON PIPER. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, ARIEL MUELLER is actually a descendent of H E R M ES. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old ASTROPHYSICS MAJOR from AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & SELFISH.

STATISTICS

FULL NAME: Ariel Mattiás Mueller de Fonollosa

AGE: Twenty-Three

DATE OF BIRTH: July 27,1997

PLACE OF BIRTH: Bilbao, Spain

GENDER: Cisgender Male

PRONOUNS: He/him

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Doesn’t know / anything that breathes

RELIGION: Agnostic

ATTRIBUTES

HEIGHT: 5'11

WEIGHT: 170 lbs

HAIR COLOUR: Brown

EYE COLOUR: Brown

TATTOOS: Has a small sun and moon on his chest, has a constellation on his forearm and a wing behind his right ear.

PIERCINGS: Left ear pieced

SCARS: Small scar on his knee from being a child

BODY TYPE: Athletic

PHYSICAL HEALTH: Healthy

             ariel mueller was born in amsterdam to a spanish mother and a german father , or so he thought he was his father but to this day he respects william more than hermes on any good day. his parents were con artists , thieves which is where ariel’s love for thievery began.  ariel lived his whole life with a set of rules so he’d never get caught , but no matter what ariel just seemed to be impossible to catch , trace or anything that could remotely get him caught.  it definitely wasn’t good for the ego , which he had from an extremely young age. however, his father wasn’t so lucky and would often go in and out of jail while his mother would stay watching the young boy. in that time he’d grow close to his mom as she taught him how to gamble and do sleight of hand ---- you know , normal things for young boys.

            their life in amsterdam wasn’t anything extraordinary , his dad was pulling in money by conning and began to teach alex how to fake cashier’s checks and other things at a very young age. after all , no one suspects a child of forgery. ariel went to regular public school , but was a very fast learner , but was kind of lazy.  when he was about six he could remember weird people coming and going from their small home , they were always nice to him but he got curious.  he was pretty handy with a bobby pin ( you would think that a con artist would be handier ) but ariel finally got to see the beginnings of the big plan and he was all in , but his parents didn’t know. 

                ariel’s thievery became more advanced the older he got and he began feeling watched about the age of ten , it was an odd feeling that he tended to ignore but it was still around. his hubris matched hermes , if not surpassed his but at the age of thirteen hermes finally made contact which confused ariel who went to confront his mother.  she told him the truth and he felt conflicted and despite hermes’ offer to go to camp half blood ariel denied because he felt hurt he waited till the last year to make contact.  

                  it wasn’t until he was seventeen , the summer after high school and before his eighteenth birthday that the big plan was finally set to take motion. the big plan was to produce and steal from the royal dutch mint. the heist started on a wednesday morning , his father didn’t want to deal with a large number of people.  his father also didn’t let anyone know ariel was his father — for his safety and assigned everyone roman gods and goddess names his own being jupiter and ariel’s being mercury. things went smoothly and not so smoothly , but they all managed to get out relatively safely with millions of dollars split between the six of them until things went south and his father got caught whale ariel once again got away and he was resentful over the fact that he was safe and his father got sent to prison. his mother stayed home and when he appeared she urged him to go to eonia since hermes had told her his hubris was getting out of control. 

                    so he went to eonia at nineteen, his mother thought he would have done accounting or business but for some reason he was always attracted to the stars. he always did his best work at night and loved learning about astronomy so he decided to become an astrophysics major which he excels at. 

Quick Facts:

he’s a leo — do i need to say more? he’s actually really chill , but is also a little shit raised by a con artist so he knows how to please people.

loves to sing a little too loudly in the shower and play air guitar. He knows how to play actual guitar and cello.

he has major hoe vibez, i feel it

has a very quick mind, almost has eidetic memory but also forgets to take his daily vitamins do i don’t know how that would work

he’s not mad at his dad, he loves him with all his heart, has no problems with loving people — he just doesn’t want to because his heart was broken as a teenager.

but also has commitment issues and an identity crisis almost every month but he keeps those to himself

the heist he was involved in and his capture was really big internationally and only relatively big in the u.s so someone is bound to recognize him

he also thinks he’s always right and is probably more beautiful than aphrodite’s kids and he has no problem telling you. 

Connections: 

fwb

friends who love space too

fellow thieves / criminals

someone to be a good influence

someone who he can be a bad influence to

an ex that lasted like a week max

his platonic soulmate

literally anything pls and thx

[nisrinafm]

greetings   bubs   !   the   way   i’m   posting   this   late   because   i   spent   most   of   my   time   staring   instead   of   writing   asdj   .   i’m   gi   ,   and   wow   ?   i   am   so   excited   to   be  here   .   i   hate   to   say   it   ,   i   hope   i   don’t   sound   ridiculous   ,   but   rich   kids   plots   own   me   .   i’ll   be   bringing   you   the   complex   but   loving   nisrina   ,   and   if   you’d   like   to   know   more   about   her   just   keep   on   reading   .   

❝   UPCOMING   SINGER   NISRINA   VASQUEZ   SPOTTED   IN   A   SCREAMING   MATCH   WITH   AN   UNKNOWN   NUMBER                         WHO   COULD   IT   BE   ?   ❞      

        only   five   minutes   ‘till   midnight   ,   and   we   just   spotted   nisrina   vasquez   ,   known   for   a   single   diamond   hanging   between   collar   bones   ,   painted   fingers   ,   &   the   eagerness   to   lose   herself   in   the   moment   ,   at   club   nouvea   ,   ringing   in   the   new   year   !   the   twenty   one   year   old   is   usually   known   for   their   job   as   a   musician   ,   but   tonight   ,   they’re   just   another   reveler   in   the   crowd   .   when   they   wrote   down   their   new   year’s   resolution   ,   they   wished   to   find   forgiveness   not   for   her   mother   ,   but   for   herself   ,   release   her   first   album   ,   &   break   it   to   her   father   that   she   does   not   want  to   take  over   his   hotels   .   funny   enough   ,   they   had   also   mentioned   how   they   hoped   to   forget   about   the   time   that   they   REDACTED   .   for   what   it’s   worth   ,   i   truly   hope   they   can   put   the   old   year   past   them   .      

full   name.   nisrina  lluvia   vasquez   .   

 gender   ,   pronouns.   cis  woman  ,  she  and  her   .   

 date   of   birth.   august   seventh   ,   nineteen   ninety   nine   .   

 age.   twenty   one   .   

 zodiac   sign.   leo   .   

 hometown.   las   vegas   ,   nevada   .   

 current   living   place.   new   york   .     

orientation.   bisexual   ,   biromantic   .   

 languages.   english   &   spanish   (   fluent   )   ,   italian   (   conversational   )   . 

 tattoos  ,   piercings.    asdfgh   . 

occupation.   musician  .

voiceclaim.   sabrina   claudio   .

  had   nisrina   been   the   answer   to   a   couple   that   longed   for   a   family   ?   no   ,   not   even   close   .    she   was   a   solution   .   the   product   of   desperation   that   panicked   at   the   discussion   of   divorce   and   a   future   lost   of   riches   :      for   the   vasquez’s   ,   marriage   was   not   fabricated   to   contain   genuineness   ,   but   to   benefit   both   parties   while   providing   a   stable   front   to   the   media   .   what   was   expected   from   one   another   was   not   love   ,   it   was   to   withhold   the   agreement   that   landed   two   bodies   muttering   the   words   ,   “   i   do   ,   “   .   a   child   ?   was   never   spoken   of   ,   nor   wanted   .   getting   pregnant   was   a   hidden   trick   of   manipulation   ,   silent   words   of   leave   me   and   your   unborn   child   now   and   see   what   happens   .

    nisrina   was   a   pawn   in   her   mother’s   selfish   games   ,   an   accessory   placed   in   matching   outfits   and   paraded   around   .   motherhood   ?   it   was   everything   sabine   has   ever   dreamed   of   .   so   much   that   the   minute   the   door   closed   ,   the   minute   the   camera’s   clicked   off   ,   nisrina   was   placed   in   whoever’s   hands   were   the   closest   and   dismissed   .   such   a   loving   mother   ,   right   ?

      so   where’s   nisrina’s   father   in   all   of   this   ?   the   hotel   tycoon   was   the   complete   opposite   from   his   cold   hearted   wife   .   aloof   and   stern   melting   into   a   surprising   pool   of   pure   tenderness   for   his   child   .   he   might   have   been   angry   at   getting   stuck   in   sabine’s   trap   ,   but   that   anger   never   looked   at   his   daughter  ;   while   ezequiel   never   dreamed   of   fatherhood   ,   he   embraced   it   .   it   taking   all   of   one   second   of   staring   down   at   his   daughter’s   face   to   understand   that   she   was   now   his   sun   .

     growing   up   in   the   presence   of   someone   who’s   honest   about   their   lack   of   desire   to   be   a   parent   ,   was   not   something   nisrina   could   stay   ignorant   to   for   too   long   .    her   innocence   normalizing   it   until   she   was   old   enough   to   perceive   the   world   around   her   .   after   that   ,   it   became   something   that   was   sitting   right   in   front  of   her   face   .   it   was   in   the   books   she   read   ,   the   movies   she   watched   ,   and   in   the   feeling   she   got   as   she   surveyed   her   friends   mother’s   who   looked   down   at   them   with   tenderness   spilling   from   their   hues   .

     nisrina    ,   she   clung   to   the   good   in   those   around   her   ;   no   matter   how   many   times   those   people   proved   themselves   to   be   anything   but   deserving   of   her   love   .    and   with   her   mother   ?   she   tried   .   again   and   again   ,   nisrina   would   reach   out   for   sabine   .   cry   for   her   affection   ,   plead   for   an   ounce   of   interest   .   she   could   offer   gentle   smiles   ,   present   her   achievements   ,   even   tried   acting   out   in   hopes   that   it   would   earn   just   the   slightest   reaction  ..   but   nothing   ever   worked   ,   in   fact   it   seemed   to   just   drive   sabine   away   .   until   eventually   ,   nisrina   was   pushed   into   the   arms   of   a   nanny   and   sabine   was   on   a   plane   to   whatever   country   would   get   her   the   farthest   from   her   daughter   .

     ezequiel   smothered   nisrina   ,   went   to   the   extreme   lengths   to   get   her   anything   and   everything   she   could   ever   want   .   he   wanted   to   fill   the   hole   that   sabine   engraved   in   her   ,   swore   that   if   nisrina   would   let   him   ,   he’d   love   her   enough   for   the   both   of   them  .  

    with   sabine   always   mia   ,   and   her   father   never   staying   too   long   in   one   place   for   work   ,   nisrina   would   be   pulled   from   public   school  ,   and   enrolling   in   private   studies   .    giving   her   the   opportunity   to   learn   without   being   present   in   a   school   setting   ,   and   allowing   her   father   to   bring   her   along   with   him   .   nisrina   would   go   from   an   empty   house   with   staff   members   to   her   father   and   his   hotel   staff   .   not   the   biggest   difference   ,   but   to   have   her   father   always   one  room   away   made   her   feel   less   lonely   .  

   during   these   years   ,   she   would   only   speak   to   her   mother   less   then   three   times   a  year  ..   but   at   that   point   ?   she   was   long   over   begging   her   for   affection   .   the   media   would   brand   her   as   a   daddy’s   girl   ,   the   future   face   of   the   vasquez   hotel   chains   .   her   life   could   consist   of   penthouses   ,   ruling   the   hotel   kitchen   ,   running   aimlessly   around   hallways   ,  singing   in   the   dinning   hall   ,   and   finding   family   in   the   strangest   of   places   .   her   father   would   expand   from   las   vegas   ,   to   new   york   ,   to   the   caribbeans   ,    and   eventually   to   italy  .  

    before   her   eighteenth  birthday   ,   her   father   would   divorce   sabine   officially   .   putting   all   of   his   assets   in   his   daughters   name   .    this   would   cause   chaos   in   the   media   ,   and   land  sabine   on   their   front   steps   in   false   tears   and   apologizes  that   meant   absolutely   nothing   to   either   of   them   .   two   year   later   ,   sabine   would   remarry   and   final   ties   would   be   cut   forever   .

      where   is   nisrina   now   ?   nisrina   is   located   in   the   beautiful   city   of   new   york   ,   in   hopes   of   gaining   peace   and   mind   to   construct   her   first   album   since   being   signed   a   year   ago   .   she   is   still   an   absolute   daddy’s   girl   and   has   an   insanely   close   relationship   with   him   .    constantly   on   the   mission   of   bettering   herself   ,   and   moving   on   from   old   wounds   .

*   CONNECTIONS   .

YOU’RE   MY   BABY   ,   EVEN   WHEN   YOU   LEAVE   ME   .  

                                                      that   one   ex   that   she   cannot   let   go   of   ,    their   hold   on   her   too   great   .   it’s   something   she   refuses   to   admit   ,   is   embarrassed   at   how   much   she   loves   them   ,   how   she   keeps   coming   back     .   

I   DON’T   NEED   A   MAN   ,   SHE’S   MY   OTHER   HALF   ,   WE   GOT   SOMETHING   NOT   A   LOT   OF   OTHERS   HAVE   .  

                                                     their   relationship   has   surpassed   besties   ,   their   souls   were   made   for   each   other   .   they’re   each   other’s   person   ,   can   speak   without   communication   ,   bicker   like   sisters   ,   and   are   willing   to   hold   each   other’s   secrets   to   the   grave   .   a   package   deal   to   the   end   .   it’s   a   forever   thing   .

JUST   CAUSE   I   FUCK   YOU   ,   DON’T   MEAN   I   TRUST   YOU   ;   I   DON’T     .  

                                                     a   complex   relationship   of   something   more   but   it   never   crossing   that   line   .   these   two   can   share   a   bed   and   even   affectionate   touches   but   communication  ,   trust   ,   and   commitment   are   not   in  the  books   .

THE   NIGHT   IS   DARK   BUT   THE   MOON   IS   BRIGHT   ,   WE’RE   STARING   AT   THIS   SUMMER   NIGHT   ;   TAN   SKIN   LOOKS   DAMN   GOOD   IN   WHITE   ,   STRIPING   DOWN   BY   THE   HOLLYWOOD   SIGN  

                                                    her   girls   ,   the   definition   that   family   is   not   always   blood   .   from   spontaneous   girl   trips   ,   to   clogging   each   other’s   feed   ,   this   group   of   friends   are   known   for   their   closeness   .    you   either   hate   them   or   you   love   them   ,   but   regardless   they’re   always   going   to   ride   for   one   another  .   

OTHER 

                                                   confidants   ,   ex   friends   ,   close   friends   ,   flings   ,   hookups   ,   rivals   ,   people   she   just   bumps   heads   with   ,   on   and   off   friendships   ,   will   they   wont   they   ,   literally   anything   !!!   give   me   drama   ,   angst   ,   and   cute   friendships      .

[buckyownsmyheart]

Worth Fighting For [one-shot]

⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.6k (I can’t help it I’m sorry)

Summary: As a new recruit trying to pass the enrolment tests, you need to prove to everyone that you deserve to be a part of the team. To do this, you push yourself to your limits, and get some help from an onlooker.

Warnings: A bit angsty, swearing as per, I was feeling some emotions when writing this

A/N: This is for @yslbuckyx ‘s writing challenge! Congrats on 1k! My prompt was “I’m sorry, I got a little too carried away” 

⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

You ran purely on spite. You were tired of people telling you that you couldn’t, so you did. You joined S.H.I.E.L.D. 4 weeks ago, to spite your father who said you couldn’t, and had just passed the tactical and mental challenges. These had always been your strengths, learning and memorising new information was something that you enjoyed doing. It sounds nerdy, but frankly you had gotten over being called that since way back in high school. People were always going to talk, so you might as well do what the fuck you want, and for you, that was absorbing knowledge. Since high school, you had learnt Spanish, Japanese, Russian and were in the process of learning Cantonese. Your ability to pick up new things had meant that you were finishing top 5 after 4 weeks in the selection process. At the beginning, there were 60 new recruits, but by the end of the next 4 weeks there would be 10. It was a brutal process, on the first day they lined everyone up and split them in half, and then sent half home, saying that they don’t recruit unlucky people. From those 30, 10 would be removed after the intellect test, and 10 after the next step, the physical test, which was the part that you were most worried about.

 You had never been strong or particularly sporty. You often ran, enjoying the hours of solitude that it gave you, allowing your brain to sort through anything that it might be pondering or struggling with. There was nothing like the feeling of fresh air on your face, or the relief when you stop, and your calves relax and stretch out. But this wasn’t going to get you through the push-ups or sit-ups or whatever else they made you do, so you had to be smart about this if you wanted to make it through to the final 10. You had started trying to build up your strength, but so far you felt you hadn’t made any progress and it was infuriating, but your time was up, and you were absolutely shitting yourself.

 For the next 5 months, you would be put through hell. Testing your physical strength, your resilience and your adaptability to environments. For each month that passed, the 2 people at the bottom of the rankings would be sent home, and you weren’t sure you could face your father if you were sent home, you knew what he would say. “I told you so sweetheart, you’re just not cut out for that sort of thing, why don’t you try something a little more for you? A little more gentle.” You were going to make it through these challenges.

The 20 recruits stood in two lines of ten, some were turning to their neighbour and chatting, but you didn’t feel much like small talk, so you hid yourself in the backrow at the end, trying to avert all attention away from you. Maybe if they thought you were no one from the beginning, and let them have low expectations, then you might be able to surpass those expectations with what little strength you have. Everyone snapped to attention when Captain America and Black Widow walked into the large space you were all standing in, eyeing each and every one of you. You tried to stand tall and not shy away from their gaze, knowing that this was probably just a scare tactic, trying to spot the weak ones straight away. Luckily, from years of practice at school, you had become adept at blending in and becoming invisible, not too proud, not too shy, somewhere in the middle.

 “Recruits,” Captain America addressed the lines, “Today we’re going to start with some basic fighting, I’m sure you’ve all got some experience, so we’re going to pair you up and test your skills, let’s start with a warm-up.” Shit. You had close to no fighting experience, unless you count that one time in your debate class where a boy named Jimmy had tried to hit you, so you kneed him in the balls. That was when you were 12. Why hadn’t you thought about this. You assumed that they would teach you all the basics once you got in, and that this was just to gauge your fitness levels, not to put you up against each other and judge from that. You turned to the girl next to you, her beady eyes located a little too close together on her rather square-looking head. Her biceps looked like they could strangle you by giving you a glance. You looked wildly around but saw that everyone else had already paired off. You gave her a small smile, and Cap started the warm-up. Luckily, at this point there was no actual fighting, and you actually just seemed to be warming up your muscles. You copied your partner’s every move and looked around the room to see how other people were doing it. There were practice punches being thrown, body twists to focus on technique and some more cardiovascular exercises to get your heartrate up. You were glad about your runs, because although sweat was running down your forehead, your breathing was still pretty steady.

 “Alright everyone,” Black Widow’s voice carried across the room, causing instant silence. “We’re pairing you off against each other, this is a no-rule fighting situation. Nothing dirty, but all styles welcome. You two, up first.”

 You realised she was gesturing to you and your terrifying partner, there was no way you were escaping out of this alive. Your legs seemed to move of their own accord, jumping up onto the mat and dropping into a fighting position.

You gulped, took a large breath in and released it, trying to calm your heart thumping in your chest. It might give the opposition a confidence boost to see your chest shaking with how hard your heart was beating, and you couldn’t be giving them any more advantages than they already had. The two of you padded around each other, your fists were raised in a protective stance, and your opponent looked like she was ready to pounce at any moment, and then she did. You dodged the first attack, jumping around her arm and bouncing on your feet. After a few more circles of each other, she lunged again, her fist narrowly missing your torso, but as you were on the back foot, she delivered a kick to your knee, which immediately brought you down to the mat. You leaped back up, bouncing on your aching knee to try and get the pain to go away, and ran over to the other side of the mat.

 “Stop dancing!” A voice shouted from the side, and you shook some hair out of your face to try and focus. People around you were murmuring.

 “There’s no way she can do this.”

 “Look how weak she is!”

 “Hasn’t thrown a single punch.”

 Anger bubbled up inside you, this wasn’t your fault. It was unfair. But you wanted to show them that you could do this. Prove them wrong. And so, you dove back into the fight, trying to put as much weight behind your punches as possible and tightening your core. You got a few hits in, but your opponent was too quick and too strong. She blocked your hits after the initial surprise and fought back. Hard. A volley of punches hit you all over and kept coming as you stumbled back. They merged into one as the floor beneath you spun, and your vision became blurry. When the punching stopped, you realised you were on the floor. Everything hurt, your vision was still cloudy and there were still leers behind you. Determined, you got up, and raised your fists once more, trying to get the world to stop spinning. You focused on the woman in front of you and willed your legs to move. On shaky legs, you moved forward, before a hand was on your chest. You looked up to see Black Widow looking down on you.

 “Alright, show’s over. That’s enough for today. 0530, tomorrow, sharp.” As people left the room, you were still trying to make your legs obey you. You couldn’t appear any weaker in front of the one person you needed to impress, but her hand was still on your chest, holding you back. “Are you in the right place? Do you even want to be here?” Her voice was harsh and scathing, and it felt like a ton of bricks on your chest. Of course she didn’t believe in you either, you had made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone. You’d be surprised if they allowed you to stay to the end of the month, maybe you should have stuck with an intelligence desk job. But that voice in your head that doubted you also reminded you of all the other people that doubted you, and you’d be damned if you let them win. You raised yourself up and looked her dead in the eye.

“This is where I’m meant to be, and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll be in the top 5 by the end of the selection.”

Her voice softened, “You’ve got fire in your belly. Use it.” And with that, she left you, where you remained alone, wondering what you had just gotten yourself into.

 ⁎⁎⁎

Bucky was sitting down on the sofa, watching an episode of Brooklyn 99, his new favourite show, when Nat came in and slumped down beside him.

 “You know, for a world-class assassin, you have very little finesse.”

 “Says the guy who tripped over the very flat floor yesterday.” She sighed, “There’s a new recruit, she’s weak and can’t fight for shit. I don’t know if she’s ever fought before, but she’s so determined, and it breaks my heart that she won’t make it to the end of the week, because she’s exactly the type of person we want here. Someone with defiance and will do anything to break the odds, but the stupid recruitment team don’t think traits like that are valuable. They want meatheads, the intelligence tests they have to do are just making sure they can do high-school maths, and still half of them fail. Apparently, she was top after that, knows something like 3 languages, but they’re already trying to kick her out and move her to intelligence.”

“Wouldn’t intelligence be better suited for her if she can’t fight?” Bucky replied, looking up at Nat confused.

 “But we need strategists, leaders, not people that will follow every word we say, because we’re not going to be around for ever, and if the next generation only follow our orders, who’s will they follow next? She’s different, she thinks for herself, but Fury’s already on my ass about picking favourites, so I’m just going to have to let her go.”

 Bucky nodded, not sure what else to say, and they both watched the rest of the episode in silence. He did think about the new recruit though, he wondered who they must be to have made such an impression on Natasha, she wasn’t often one to care about people she didn’t know, but by the next morning, all was forgotten as Bucky headed down to the gym.

⁎⁎⁎

After visiting the medical bay, 5 stitches and lots of codeine later, you collapsed onto your bed. You had each been given a dorm along a single corridor, with shared bathrooms at either end. Now you had expectations to live up to and a top 5 to be in, you needed a better plan. One that was going to get you there, but first, you needed to learn how to throw a punch. Tonight, YouTube was going to be your best friend. You watched videos of fighting styles, how to perfect your technique, how to maximise your strength, how to read your opponent. There were tips and tricks on everything from making people make mistakes to building up muscle quickly (naturally of course, you didn’t think anabolic steroids were the answer here). By the time you had gone through these, standing up to practice and do slow run throughs of the moves, it was past midnight. You set your alarm for 4:00, if you were going to do this, it was best to start how you mean to go on.

Your alarm blared as you sat up, feeling like you had only had a few minutes of sleep. You rubbed the tiredness out of your eyes and threw on your gym kit. Before your brain could wake up and tell you what a terrible idea this was, you found yourself in the gym, starting the warm-up that the Cap had shown you all yesterday, and then building on it from the things you had learnt. For an hour you practiced, sweated, and improved. By the time the rest of the recruits had got down, you had had a shower and changed into some fresh gear, ready for the day. The day of training continued, and you found yourself doing exercises, punching bags and using a range of the different fighting techniques. The assessors moved around, taking notes and judging styles.

The days continued like this, but the end of the first week was rapidly approaching, and there was no way that you were not in the bottom two. Although you had improved massively, everyone else had such a big head start, that you were still being beaten in every fight you were put in. You struggled to meet Romanoff’s eye. It had become rapidly known if they called her Black Widow she would kick them out of the programme immediately. On the Sunday, you trudged down to the gym before the others, and saw that the list had already been published. Your heart stopped beating, and then thudded against your chest. Trying to breathe evenly, you looked at the list of names and the rankings. You were 18th. Somehow, you had made it through to the next week. Two names at the end that you didn’t recognise, but then again, you hadn’t really bonded with the rest of the recruits, were in red. Disbelief filled you, how could you still be in? Was the tiredness finally kicking in, and you had reduced your brain to hallucinating? Shaking your head, you looked at the words again, but you were definitely not being kicked out. You were sure others would be sad about losing two members, but you were glad they were gone because it wasn’t you. That’s the thing about running on spite, it doesn’t leave a lot of room for love in your head. You went over to the punching bag and started your routine. What you didn’t know, was that someone had accidentally stumbled onto your morning escapades and was impressed.

 Bucky looked onto the new recruit, smiling. He had first seen her the morning after their initiation into the compound, where he had gone down to the gym early to try and burn off a nightmare, to find someone already there. This must have been the recruit that Nat had been talking about, the one that had had her ass handed to her, but still found the strength to challenge Nat. He knew that although she would never admit it, Nat saw herself in that recruit, and wanted to get her through this process. As Nat was in charge of the selection process, she couldn’t pick favourites and help only them. Bucky, however, wasn’t related to the selection process at all, and so he did as much as he could to help you get through. That week, it was just telling Nat that you had been down here, sweating every morning, watching videos and trying to get your technique up. She had visually seen the improvements and had decided to keep you on. Bucky knew though, that this next week was more fight orientated, and that you needed more than the internet to get you through it. So, he took a deep breath, and approached you for the first time in a week.

 “You want to engage your core a little more, try not to throw your shoulders into the punch so much, rotate your entire body.” Okay, Bucky, you could have started with something a little less harsh, the whole getting people to like you thing Sam was talking about.

“I’m sorry, you are?” There was a hardness to your voice, but your face was soft and open. Seeing you up close, he could appreciate the finer details of your face and the subtle movements of the muscles as different emotions intertwined themselves within your features.

“Sorry, Bucky Barnes,” he stuck his hand out to shake, which you hesitantly took after removing a glove, “I want to help you get through to the next round.”

 “Why?” You asked, still looking unsure at Bucky’s face, and then around as if you were looking for other people around him.

 “Let’s say I’m helping a friend out. I’ve seen you here before everyone, and staying after they’ve all left, and I’m impressed. If you want my help, I’m happy to give it to you.”

 You narrowed your eyes at him, and Bucky thought you might turn down his offer, “Isn’t that cheating?”

 He couldn’t help himself but laugh a little, “Darl, this is life, there’s no cheating, only people who find ways to cope and people who don’t.”

 You didn’t respond, and Bucky could see the conflict in your brain as cogs turned. You considered him, and then shrugged, “Okay, engage my core, what else?”

And that was that, your training together started.

⁎⁎⁎

You were beyond sceptical of Bucky and his help. He coached you for an hour, and all the pointers made sense, but you couldn’t help but feel something was off. Why was he being so nice? His excuse didn’t really make any sense, and you didn’t trust someone without motive, because people always had motive and if you didn’t know it, then it’s most likely to be against you. Until you could figure him out, you decided to take all the advice you could get and try and stay in a little longer.

 When you came back from your shower after parting with Bucky, the group of other recruits had gathered early to see the list. There was an uproar and shouting, people mouthing off the system, and you. “She cheated, there’s no way she’s still in.”

“They need to take likeability into these tests.”

 “Diane and Charlie shouldn’t have been the ones to leave.”

 “I saw her with the Winter Soldier just now, trust her to sleep her way to the top.”

 With the last one, you froze, your blood turning cold. This explained Bucky’s motivations, he was not only trying to get you kicked out, but he was going to make your so-called teammates hate you along the way. Maybe he thought if he spread enough rumours about you, you would leave all by yourself. You weren’t going to let that happen. With 15 minutes to go until Romanoff arrived to start that days training session, you backed away from the murmuring people, trying not to let their words get to you, and trying to use the anger that was bubbling up inside of you to build your motivation. It wasn’t until you got into the changing rooms that the anger faded into irrevocable sadness that often lingered behind the emotions that surfaced. Trying to cough out the lump in your throat and looking determinedly at the ceiling, you focused on the good. You were here, you were through, you were improving day-to-day, and you had already proven people wrong. This was your dream, and you were going to get there eventually. Placing the palms of your hands in your eyes, you tried not to think about the deep loneliness that had etched its way into your bones, chilling you from the inside out. You tried not to think about the last time you had been touched that wasn’t violent or pitying. Repeating to yourself like a mantra, you affirmed, “You can sleep when you’re dead, and you can love when you’re finished.���

 “That seems an awfully lonely way of thinking, sweetheart.”

 Bucky’s voice startled you out of your trance, and you got to your feet, only seeing red. This was the man who was trying to sabotage you, spreading lies into the wind to break you down, and you were going to show him exactly what you thought about it.

“How dare you come in here, pretending like you’re not trying to sabotage my career, my life, by telling the world that I was sleeping my way to the top, and you have the audacity to call me sweetheart? Get out of my face, I never want to see you again.”

 “Woah, woah, woah, where has this come from?” You went to storm past him, rolling your eyes to hide the tears that were building again, but he stepped back, gently placing his arm in front of you. “Look, I don’t know where you’ve got all this from, but I promise I would never tell anyone anything that wasn’t true. I haven’t told a soul that I’m going to help you, and I would never make up something as obscene as you were repaying me with sex? I swear on my ma’s grave that whatever you heard; it wasn’t from me.”

 You looked at him calculatingly, trying to read his expression and find any tell-tale tics that he was lying, but his face was relaxed, his eyes open and almost pleading that you believed him. You had no idea why he cared so much, he had known you for all of two hours, and no he was pretending like you had some sort of trust between you? As if reading your mind, he spoke again.

 “Look, I know we don’t know each other but I’ve read your file, I know about you, about your life. You’re smart, and the sort of person we need as an agent here, Nat said so herself. I know she sees herself in you, but she can’t do anything about it so I’m here to help you. I want to help, I promise I would never do something to hurt you, and I will kick the asses of all of the other recruits for spreading shit about you.”

You couldn’t help but give a small smile at this, sniffing away some stray tears that you didn't realise had fallen. He did seem genuine, and everyone knows that there’s always a leap of faith at some point in everyone’s story, maybe yours was with Bucky.

“Is that a smile?” He asked, “I know this is a new age, but damn, it seems like pigs might be flying!” An unwanted laugh escaped your lips, unable to keep it at bay. How on earth had someone been able to cut through your mask so quickly? You blamed the lack of sleep and ignored any other point your brain might come up with. “You should get back to the other recruits, this week is strength and fitness, and if you don’t beat at least 3 people up that climbing wall then I’m making you get up an hour earlier each day this week.”

 He turned to walk out of the door, and as he opened it, he turned back to you, giving an award-winning smile. Were there butterflies in your stomach? Yes. Were you going to ignore them for all eternity? Also yes. Bucky had been in your life all of two hours, he wasn’t going to be the reason you failed, all because you were touch-starved and lonely. Shaking those unwanted feelings out of your head, you braced yourself for the onslaught of accusations that would be thrown at you, but somehow the prospect of facing them seemed a little lighter than they had before.

⁎⁎⁎

Over the course of the week, you and Bucky had spent over 25 and a half hours working together, not that you were counting. An hour and a half of that was on Wednesday, when there had been an unfortunate incident where you broke down and accidentally spilled your guts to Bucky, telling him everything that had ever got to you. You told him about your father never accepting who you were and pushing you into some mould by sending you off to some faraway school. You talked about how you weren’t even sure if this was right for you, and that you chose what to do next by seeing what people said you couldn’t do. Your hopes and fears spilled out, accompanied by too much snot and a slightly bewildered Bucky. To his credit, he comforted you, remaining silent until you had calmed yourself down. Before you had a chance to apologise, Bucky spoke in a collected but soft voice. He opened up too, telling you about his nightmares, about how after Steve left, he felt the pressure to become the hero that everyone expected him to be. You could still hear his voice crack as he laid himself out on the table, just as you had done.

 “After all I did as the Winter Soldier, I struggled with the idea that I could be a hero like everyone else. I felt I didn’t belong, and I pushed away anyone that tried to reach out. Then I realised that you accept the treatment you think you deserve, and you belong where you allow yourself to belong.”

 Through sleep deprivation, pushing yourself through limits and emotional sharing, you two had become closer than you had with anyone before. The butterflies in your stomach turned into smiles when he walked into the room. At night, you found yourself preoccupied with thoughts of him. Of stupid jokes he’d make throughout the sessions, featherlight touches that stayed hot for minutes after he moved and ways in which you could ease his night-time turmoil’s. He had been kind to you when no one else had, and you let him in where no one else could be. He was your light in darkness and the warmth within your veins, and you had a feeling that you were also his.

Although Bucky had eased your self-deprecating thoughts, they still surfaced every now and again. Frustration often triggered them when you struggled to see progress. You knew it had been such a short period of time, but you knew Bucky must be getting frustrated at you too, and you couldn’t deal with his disappointment among everyone else’s. Although he didn’t know, he had become the thing in your life that held you together, and if he left, you were certain you would fall apart.

 This was all whirling around your mind on Saturday afternoon, until Bucky’s voice cut through your thoughts.

 “No!” Bucky shouted at you, “You’re leaving your side exposed, someone can come in here.” He jabbed you and you let out a growl. You had been training for hours, Bucky putting you through your paces after making you get up earlier than usual, and then stay later afterwards. Today seemed to be one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did. You couldn’t seem to get anything right and were getting more irritated by the second.

 “Can’t you see I’m trying!” You yelled back at him, repositioning yourself to try again. As you lunged at him, he stepped you easily.

 “Too obvious, again.”

You rolled your neck to release some tension in your shoulders and tried again. You jumped to the other side, but Bucky pushed one of your shoulders, “Keep balanced!” You ignored him and went in for another punch. “Legs!” He shouted, sweeping at your ankles, making you stumble back into the wall as his arm crossed over your chest, pinning you down. You felt tears brim in your eyes, the overwhelming emotion from the past few months coming to the surface again. You couldn’t breathe past the lump that was stuck in your throat, and looked Bucky defiantly in the eye, daring him to say something else, because he was just like everyone else. He would leave when he realised that you weren’t going anywhere, and you would be left alone again. It was your fault for getting your hopes up. Instead, his face fell, concern lacing his features.

 “I’m so sorry (Y/n), Oh god,” He said softly, releasing you from against the wall, “I’m sorry, I got a little too carried away. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” He looked up at you, searching your face and brushing some sweaty hair off of your forehead, “I just really want you to get through, I want you to be in this team. Let’s stop for today, yeah? That was too much.”

You looked up at him confused, watching his shaking hands as they moved away from your face with curiosity. His words were a stark contrast to all the other voices of people that had told you that you were too weak, not made for this sort of world, that you couldn’t do it, but those voices rang louder in the back of your head. Before, they had spurred you on, but now you felt like maybe they were right, and you were stupid to try and prove them wrong. Bucky’s intentions resurfaced in your mind again, and you began doubting the friendship you had formed, wondering what he was doing helping you. You shoved him back, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to pour out of your eyes. “Why are you helping me? Is this some joke to you and Romanoff? See how far I go before I break? See how much I believe I have a friend, before realising you were making it up?” Every doubt you had about him was threading itself into your words, trying to hide your feelings deep under insecurities, and hiding those insecurities under anger and spite.

 He looked at you, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open slightly in a small ‘o’ shape. Then his eyebrows furrowed, and he took another step back. He pointed his finger accusatorily at you, “What have I got to do to show you that I mean it? That I care about your outcome? I’ve known you for less than three weeks and you already occupy every space in my brain. I can’t stop thinking about you (Y/n)! And all you can say is that I’m not sincere? Not genuine enough for you? Shock horror, not everyone hates you, some love you, open your goddamn eyes.”

 Bucky’s voice was filled with a mix of passion and anger, his words shaking and his hands falling limp by his side as he finished. His chest was moving up and down heavily and realisation hit you. This wasn’t a one-way street. You had been so caught up in yourself that you failed to see the obvious. The way that Bucky was also getting up at ungodly hours, making training plans, preparing sports drinks and high energy snacks. He had shown you love in a way that you had failed to recognise because you had never been taught to look for it, and now he was pouring his heart out to you and all you could do was stare back at him. You had no idea what to say, what could you reply to that? How could you tell him that you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him behind, so you tried to kid yourself that it was all nothing? That he was the only thing keeping you going through this? That he was the person to replace your motivations of spite, to motivations of love?

“Kiss me.” Your voice said, sounding small, but Bucky didn’t need telling twice. He pinned you back against the wall and crashed his lips to yours. Your bodies moulded together, and your lips moved against one another. You both trying to express the repressed feelings, you your gratitude, and him his pure intentions. And whilst no fireworks went off, you felt a sigh of relief exit your body as he kissed you. The tension releasing from your shoulders, and the threat of tears subsiding from your eyes. When you finally broke apart, you looked at him, a small smile appeared on his face.

 “Now that, was worth fighting for.”

 “Bucky, I’m sorry,” you tried to say, but he cut you off.

“I know, I am too, I didn’t mean to raise my voice, I’m sorry if I scared you.”

 “No, you shouldn’t apologise, I’m sorry for not appreciating you, you gave me everything I wanted, and I gave attitude back. I never could be scared of you. The only thing I was scared about is that I might fall in love with you, because that’s a terrifying ordeal.”

 He gave you a soft kiss on your forehead. “You showed me you appreciated me in your own way, you talked me through my nightmares, brought two towels because you know I always forget mine and laugh at my jokes no matter how stupid. You embolden the light inside me by encouraging me to be me. Maybe we both need to work on our communication a little more, but we also speak in a language that the other understands, so it’s okay.” You rested your head on his chest, finding solace in the steady beating of his heart and his hands stroking your hair. You could feel his lips moving against your hairline as he spoke again, “Come on, let’s get some food, too much shouting makes me hungry.”

 You couldn’t help but laugh, “Barnes, breathing makes you hungry, you’re an ogre.”

“A sexy ogre that’s going to take you on a date and ask for Nat for special treatment to pass you through the stages, because I am done with early mornings. I will train you in weapons myself at a reasonable hour.”

“That’s definitely cheating.”

“Maybe so, but it’s more fun.”

 ⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

[sol1056]

EPs: "we chose Netflix to explore things like sexuality" (nothing was explored or was explicit for even 2 seconds) "when they told us u cant kill Shiro, we knew we could push the reveal 4 later" (so nice of them to admit they stopped our rep just to be able to kill him) "when we found out about byg we knew we coulnt kill Shiro & we thought we'll find rep w another character. Then we learned we could go on w/ Shiro as the rep" (theres ANOTHER REP WE DIDNT GET?? Was it vague then erased? Whatt??)

I think these are two separate issues. One is related to who made VLD, and the other is related to the EPs’ ignorance of characterization. The second overlaps with a bunch of asks I’ve recently gotten about race and representation, so here I’m just keeping it to a general discussion of characterization, with Lance as example. And then about Shiro in particular, how the EPs’ statements reveal their lack of thought.

Behind the cut. 

remember where these people came from

The team behind VLD is almost entirely formerly Nickelodeon. DreamWorks wanted to break into television on a much larger scale, and since they almost always promote from outside the company, they lured over Margie Cohn from her position as a Nick VP. As VP/exec levels tend to do, Cohn brought a bunch of people with her.

One of those was Mark Taylor, who’d been involved in both AtLA and LoK. Taylor, in turn, brought JDS, LM, and I think one or two of the other producers. Taylor also probably brought over Hamilton, Chan, and Hedrick, as known entities with proven track records. 

These are people who — for for the last ten or more years — have swum in Nickelodeon’s considerably more conservative fishbowl. It’s entirely possible (given what people tell me about storylines in HTTYD, and DW’s open support of She-Ra) the former Nickelodeon team automatically downgraded DW’s “go ahead and explore these heavier/darker topics” to mean “maybe kinda mention in passing but don’t be too obvious about it.”  

Now, to be fair, the EPs may have pushed for more LGBT+ rep, and their obstacle might not have been DW, but Taylor. It’d explain how the EPs could praise everyone (read: DreamWorks staff) as supportive, yet allso complain about pushback (read: Taylor’s Nickelodeon-influenced sensibilities). Two different parties were calling the shots. 

It’s also possible what the EPs saw as ‘rep’ was still considerably toned-down from what DW execs (and the VAs) may’ve expected. After all, that one-minute scene in VLD might’ve required an act of god at Nickelodeon. VLD’s staff may have genuinely considered this scene landmark because even that tiny bit was far more than their previous employer would’ve allowed. 

Cue the victory lap and excited chatter, and seeming blindness to Korra being long since surpassed by Steven Universe, Young Justice, Bob’s Burgers, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, RWBY, Rick and Morty, Clarence, BoJack Horseman, Danger & Eggs, Big Mouth, and Summer Camp Island. Remember, it wasn’t until 2016 that Nickelodeon would have a married gay couple (in The Loud House), and they’re not even central characters. The VLD staff may’ve thought itself bold, and unprepared for the reality of modern (non-Nickelodeon) audience expectations. 

No, I don’t think that absolves them. It just seems the most reasonable explanation. That is, short of seeing the EPs as so utterly cynical they’d pump up the audience for what amounted to a nothingburger in light of what else popular media now delivers. 

and then there’s representation

VLD’s troubles can all be traced to one crucial detail: the EPs don’t understand that characters are the bedrock of stories. And as such, there are no shortcuts.

Ever had the misfortune to catch a home decorating show? Here we have a windowless basement: mock up a mantle from polystyrene, paint the walls gray, put up sconces with flickering lightbulbs… it’s still a basement. It’s just now desperately pretending to be something it isn’t. The bones of the structure are undeniably American Suburbia, not generic castle keep, and those bones are integral to how we experience the space.

The average person isn’t trained to be aware of those bones — the underlying architecture — and its subtle impact on our experience, just as most non-storytellers aren’t trained to see how and where and why characters create plot. I guarantee you, though, you will never mistake a late-century Kmart for the Centre Pompidou or the Forbidden City or Mount Vernon. Just as you would never mistake a beginner’s first novel for Lord of the Rings or Left Hand of Darkness. 

That is, the dressed stone isn’t paint and plaster; it’s a core element informing (even dictating) height, width, and depth of a space. Characterization is the same: it must be structural. In turn, characters inform the breadth and depth of the story. If your characterization is shallow, wild swerves and dramatic reveals can make the story fun, but they will never make it deep. 

I empathize with the (hopefully genuine) intent to avoid making Shiro’s sexuality a ‘reveal.’ The unfortunate truth is: waiting 60+ episodes to even mention in passing makes it a reveal. It wasn’t structural, or viewers would’ve been sensing it from the very beginning. 

This isn’t a haircut or a pair of jeans. It’s a person’s identity, and that has crucial impact on hopes, fears, desires, and needs. It doesn’t start only once the audience is let in on the secret; it was always there. It should’ve informed the character’s actions and reactions all along. 

If Lance is Cuban, and the story takes place in a quasi-future America, then to understand Lance’s perspective, we need to ask questions like: is Cuba still under embargo? Is it a free democracy now, or did Lance’s family flee at some point? Is he part of an exchange program, or is there a lottery that let him come to the US for his education? Did he leave his family behind? How young was he, when he left? What was his childhood like, and how does that differ from what he found in America? What was his parents’ relationship like, and how does that influence his expectations for friends and lovers? 

Was he fluent in English when he arrived, or did he only become fluent later? Does his Spanish have a noticeable accent, and if so, has he felt isolated from other Latinx at school? Or is he the only Latino at the Garrison? Is he proud of his heritage, or ashamed of it? Did he get bullied for being foreign, and how did that change what he says/does? Even if America is joyfully multi-cultural, he’d still be an immigrant or foreigner, and that’s a different experience from a non-white community that’s multi-generation American. What was his impression of his new life? What compared favorably (or not) to his childhood? 

It’s not just, “He’s a boy from Cuba.” You have to think about what it means to be ‘from Cuba’ and how this is different from, say, growing up next door to the Garrison (like Pidge probably did). If you put that much thought into it, if you talk to people who’ve lived that experience, if you push yourself to imagine as deeply as you can how Lance’s life would have shaped him? 

By the time you’re done, Lance would never need to say a word. 

His reactions, his assumptions, maybe a few mannerisms, his humor, a few throwaway comments about his family or things he did as a kid — and there would be Cubans in the audience going, “hey, wait a minute, he’s just like my cousin.” Or brother or uncle or friend. By the time someone asks at a panel? Half the audience would be saying, yeah, we were right, Lance is totally Cuban. 

Or you don’t think about it, and you use stereotypes in hopes that’ll do the work for you. As @sjwwerewolf commented:

Man, I’m ready to rant about Voltron. I’m Cuban. Lance, oh boy, Lance. From season 1 on, he has been written as a huge stereotype. The flirtatious, passionate comic relief character who’s dumb. Like. He’s literally Antman’s sidekick. That character. All you need to make him a full caricature is like, “I have a gangster brother.“ 

The stereotype is a shortcut. It’s slapping on behaviors without thought for a real person’s experiences or perspectives. VLD is, sadly, full of them: the Latino (wannabe) lover, the big guy who likes food (with only the slightest twist to have him actually good at cooking), the boyish-girl who’s a brain and likes computers more than people, etc. 

just pull shiro out of a hat

At some point early on, the EPs said (once again in an interview, not in the story) that VLD is a world without homophobia. The story itself contradicts that ideal, or at least, it emphasizes a certain level of heternormativity over an open embrace of diverse relationships. What’s in our face for six seasons is Lance’s lover-boy stereotype, Allura’s attraction to Lotor, Lotor’s attraction to Allura, Matt’s attraction to Allura, and so on… and the closest we get to anything resembling an alternate attraction is one blush from a servant in a flashback, and Kuron’s startled reaction to Keith’s return. 

All VLD had to do was have Hunk mention his moms. Or Coran mention his late husband. Or Lance mention his sister’s wife. Something explicit to offset the heterosexual attractions going on. Frankly, for six seasons it was an open question whether homosexuality even existed in VLD: the absence of a negative is not proof of the presence of a positive. 

That absence means we really have no idea how being queer in VLD’s world would affect a character — and it would, have no doubt. Our sexuality affects every single one of us; it’s just that straight people have the benefit of seeing the roadmap of their sexuality played out in a million books, movies, and television shows. If you haven’t given thought to whether this is also true in your world, then you don’t really know how a character could discover, define, and map their sexuality, or how they’d quantify or qualify relationships that overlap their sexual preferences. You don’t understand the structure. 

That lack of thought means, nine times out of ten, the creator has said to themselves, “it’s easier to just say this character’s experience of their sexuality is exactly like the one I, as a straight person, vaguely recall having (that I never actually had to question because it was already mapped out for me, everywhere I looked).” That’s not a queer character. That’s a character with a label slapped on their forehead that says here be a queer character. It’s paint, because the structure underneath is straight person. 

Which means that of course the EPs could consider making someone else “the rep,” because they really seem to believe this is as easy as removing the label from Shiro’s forehead and sticking it on someone else. And it’s not. People don’t work like that. Sexuality is no more a simple paint-job than race, gender, culture, or dis/ability. Each of these things is etched on our bones, literally or metaphorically, and that changes us all the way through. 

The short version, then, is: no, we wouldn’t have gotten any other rep, just as we haven’t truly gotten any rep as VLD was delivered. Shiro has a label on his forehead, but unless and until the canonical story demonstrates this goes all the way down to his bones… he’s just a straight suburban basement with a mediocre paint job and some fake queer columns.

[thekingofkeepers]

DISCLAIMER: I am not hating on/bashing any ship, that was never the intention of this post, I strongly stand by my opinion that people can ship whatever they want, even if I personally do not condone said ship (which is not the case for this particular case). This post is meant as a mere analysis/opinion of things I've gathered during my watchthroughs/gameplays of the series. Also excuse the lack of screenshots, I'm writing this on mobile and the episodes I have downloaded are all subbed in spanish, I'll try to point out the exact episodes if I remember them if you want to look into what I'm saying.

Now onto the actual post under the read more

So, something I've seen a lot around is this interpretation of Sakuma as having some big crush on Kidou and only eye(s) for him, which tends to turn him into some jealous guy in denial and living in misery when this crush happens to be one sided (which as a side note, is pretty much every fanfic I've found, why can't he be happy too he deserves it-) and this interpretation just... feels pretty wrong to me?

Just for starters, it's a well established trait of his character that he has some self esteem issues. What is the root of these problems? It's Kidou himself. Let's take a look at the Shin Teikoku match for example. Kidou begs Sakuma to never use the koutei penguin 1go again (ep 38), knowing how destructive it is for the user's body. What was Sakuma's immediate answer? Asking Kidou if he was scared of being surpassed by someone like him. And sure, one might argue that the Aliea meteorite shard Fudou was using had enough of an effect on him to make him do that, but the meteorite's powers could only work with something that was already there, it didn't completely alter the person affected (for example, Fudou was still nearly the same asshole without it in season 3, just more harmless/not actively pushing teammates to destroy themselves, Saginuma was still competitive and decided to crush his opponents, but not on the 'let's beat them up so badly they don't get up again' level). At most, the meteorite could only amplify those negative feelings Sakuma already had from the start, which is what pushed him to almost destroy himself the way he did.

I went on a bit of a tangent there, but returning to the point: with that first sentence, it's already easy to guess that Sakuma has some inferiority complex towards Kidou. Everything he says later in the same episode about Kidou? It only further drives this home. To Sakuma, Kidou and the way he could lead the Teikoku team represented an ideal of power. When Kidou joined the Raimon, there was a void left in the Teikoku team and it had to be filled. Sakuma was already stuck behind Kidou and walking into his shadow before, but after Kidou left it became painfully obvious how big was the gap between them. In his eyes, Kidou was in a league of his own, and he couldn't help the team the way Kidou did no matter how hard he tried.

Now, all of this is already pretty bad on its own, and with the kind of person Sakuma is it's very likely he never really talked about it with anyone (repression isn't healthy kids). With the meteorite thrown into the mix? The thing screwed Sakuma over so much it pretty much turned this inferiority complex into an obsession to reach Kidou's level, or to see the world through his eyes, as he says. A kid obsessed with becoming stronger and so deeply rooted insecurities, with his common sense and inhibitions removed? A recipe for disaster, aka koutei penguin 1go. To him in that state of mind, using that hissatsu was the only way to reach Kidou's level- which again, not healthy. For many reasons. We don't really need to explain those, honestly.

This is a bit more of a personal opinion/speculation, but in the previous episode (37), Sakuma was quite literally trying to severely injure Kidou with multiple shots without showing any kind of regret or remorse. He's just that angry over Kidou having left and bitter over how the Zeus match landed them in the hospital. Maybe it's just me, but if what he felt was a crush instead of self esteem issues/bitterness, he might have acted a bit more... yandere-ish? (And honestly, that season wouldn't really have been above doing this with Fudou's batshit crazy dialogues and god forsaken expressions)

Anyways, by the end of all that disaster, with the influence of the meteorite likely gone (which, personal opinion only, but I think it might've had lasting effects considering how the Epsilon recharged and when it started fading away needed to go back for it, but that's for another post), Sakuma tells Kidou that he made him open his eyes... but that might not really be it, considering he never reacted to anything Kidou said during the match. Sakuma had to almost die destroying himself by his own hand to snap out of it and realize that if he wanted to be as strong as Kidou that wasn't the way to do it. Even with his three shots, he only managed to score once and they didn't even win, it was a tie (and only because the Raimon was busy both keeping him from shooting and Genda from using beast fang), and that only reinforces the realization that both he and Genda were in the wrong (and as a sidenote, I fully believe that the meteorite's influence is what pushed them so far and that without it they would have never resorted to a forbidden hissatsu, but honestly by then they were probably so deep into their guilt they didn't think of it- that and they probably never found out about the meteorite either. Yeesh give them a break).

Another smaller detail (that I hope isn't just me overanalyzing) comes with the Raimon's training to learn Death Zone (ep 56 if I'm not mistaken). When he explains the hissatsu, Kidou mentions that back at the Teikoku, he was the one who managed to calculate the right timing to use it, even if he's never seen using the hissatsu himself or taking part in it. It's implied that without him, they didn't have the correct timing to use one of their most powerful hissatsu. And with all the time spent in the hospital, Sakuma never really had a chance to try using it again without Kidou's help. Sakuma is very smart, sure, but Kidou was the Teikoku genius. While it took the Raimon so little time with Kidou's help to even evolve the Death Zone, it very likely would take longer for the Teikoku without him to master it again. It's just another proof that Kidou is on a different level that Sakuma hasn't managed to reach- which in turn becomes more fuel for his self esteem issues.

T.L.D.R: Sakuma's feelings towards Kidou look a lot more like self esteem issues and an inferiority complex towards Kidou and the ideal of power he represents in Sakuma's eyes rather than a crush thanks for coming to my ted talk

[newstfionline]

Headlines

US death toll from coronavirus hits 200,000 (AP) The U.S. death toll from the coronavirus topped 200,000 Tuesday, by far the highest in the world, hitting the once-unimaginable threshold six weeks before an election that is certain to be a referendum in part on President Donald Trump’s handling of the crisis. The number of dead is equivalent to a 9/11 attack every day for 67 days. It is roughly equal to the population of Salt Lake City or Huntsville, Alabama. Worldwide, the virus has infected more than 31 million people and is closing in fast on 1 million deaths, by Johns Hopkins’ count, though the real numbers are believed to be higher.

Trump Demands U.N. Hold China to Account for Coronavirus Pandemic (NYT) President Trump assailed China as the coronavirus villain Tuesday in a strongly worded United Nations speech, extolling his own actions in the pandemic and demanding that the global organization hold accountable “the nation which unleashed this plague onto the world.” Mr. Trump’s speech--made via prerecorded video to a General Assembly that was drastically curtailed because of the pandemic--was followed by a recorded speech from President Xi Jinping of China, who called the coronavirus a crisis shared by everyone. Offering no hint of contrition, Mr. Xi portrayed his nation of 1.4 billion people as having acted responsibly to combat Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus. Taken together, the speeches by the American and Chinese presidents, broadcast from the world’s biggest diplomatic forum, punctuated the growing schism between the two superpowers during Mr. Trump’s first term, which has raised alarms about a new cold war. “Each of these leaders sees flexibility as weakness, and the ability to make concessions is the essence of diplomacy,” said Orville Schell, director of the Center on U.S.-China Relations at the Asia Society. “So they’re at continued loggerheads. It’s a very alarming downward spiral.”

As Schools Go Remote, ‘Lost’ Students (NYT) One month into the school year, Linnet Early, a social studies teacher outside St. Louis, has an anxious new ritual: scanning the Zoom squares on her computer screen at the beginning of each class to see which of her sixth-grade students are missing. It is usually quite a few. “I’ll have kids gone for a week, pop in for one class the next, then miss the second class that week,” said Ms. Early, who has 100 mostly low-income students spread across eight classes, all online. “It’s hard to know what their struggles are, how to wrap your arms around it.” Around the country, teachers and school administrators are hoping that a patchwork of plans cobbled together over the summer will help address one of the most pressing challenges they face as millions of students start a new school year online: How to make sure they come to virtual class, and what balance to strike between punitive and forgiving policies if they don’t. Attendance data from last spring, while limited, suggests that the problem loomed large in many districts after school buildings closed in mid-March. In one survey of 5,659 educators around the country, 34 percent of respondents said that no more than one in four students were attending their remote classes, and a majority said fewer than half their students were attending. Disengagement was especially high in poorer communities, including many urban school systems. In Seattle, elementary school students logged into the learning portal less than half of the time, on average. And in Los Angeles, the nation’s second-largest school system, a quarter of students were not logging in at all in May.

Mexico’s López Obrador takes aim at his predecessors (Washington Post) For decades, Mexico’s presidents have handed over power peacefully at the end of their six-year terms. And in contrast to some of their Latin American counterparts, they have been left alone to pursue quiet, comfortable retirements, free of the fear of being held accountable for any misdeeds they might have committed while in office. Now President Andrés Manuel López Obrador is threatening to shatter that tradition, accusing his five immediate predecessors of corruption or unfair economic policies--and seeking public approval to bring them to justice. The 66-year-old populist is asking Mexico’s Senate to back a national referendum on the effort and petitioning the Supreme Court to rule on whether such a vote would be constitutional. “This is not about persecution,” López Obrador told reporters this month. “I am not vengeful and I have no personal problems with them. But I cannot keep silent.” López Obrador won office in 2018 on pledges to fight official corruption and repudiate the neoliberal economic policies of the previous two decades.

Finland to deploy coronavirus-sniffing dogs at Helsinki Airport (Washington Post) Finland is set to launch a pilot program involving coronavirus-sniffing dogs at Helsinki Airport on Wednesday, amid hopes that dogs could come to play a key role in screening for the virus. The voluntary canine tests will deliver results within 10 seconds and require less than a minute of travelers’ time, said Anna Hielm-Björkman, a researcher at the University of Helsinki who is using the trial to gather data. Researchers in other countries, including the United States and the United Arab Emirates, are studying canine coronavirus tests. But the Finnish trial is among the largest in scale and farthest along. In Dubai, health officials this summer began using dogs to analyze sweat samples from randomly selected air travelers, with more than 90 percent accuracy, according to initial results. Changes in health can affect the way people smell, researchers say. Dogs have long been valued for their ability to sniff for drugs and bombs, and have also proved able to detect cancers, infections and other health problems.

Madrid pleads for more doctors, police as coronavirus cases surge (Reuters) Authorities in Spain’s Madrid region on Wednesday requested urgent help to hire hundreds of foreign doctors and reinforce police, as they mulled widening a partial coronavirus lockdown to more areas as cases rise. The region is the hardest-hit in Spain by a second wave of the coronavirus and has restricted movement between and within some districts that are home to about 850,000 people. Ignacio Aguado, the deputy head of the regional government, told reporters the region needed 300 doctors from outside the European Union who had worked in the first wave of the pandemic, but could not hire them immediately due to complex regulations. On Monday, the region asked central government for help from the army to fight the coronavirus surge in and around the Spanish capital, where the partial lockdown of some poorer areas has prompted protests.

Alexei Navalny released from German hospital after 32 days (AP) The German hospital treating Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny for poisoning said Wednesday that his condition improved enough for him to be released, and suggested a “complete recovery” from the nerve agent was possible. Navalny, 44, spent 32 days in treatment in Berlin’s Charite hospital, 24 of which were in intensive care, before doctors deemed his “condition had improved sufficiently for him to be discharged from acute inpatient care.”

Considerate protesters (Washington Post) Demonstrations in Minsk and other cities calling for the ouster of Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko, who claims he won reelection last month despite alleged vote-rigging, are in their seventh week. The rallies represent the greatest challenge yet to Lukashenko’s 26-year grip on power, but rather than cause damage, as many other revolutions have done, Belarus’s has been uniquely considerate. Streets are pristine even after mass demonstrations. Protesters have been seen taking off their shoes before standing on public benches, not wanting to dirty them. If traffic isn’t blocked off and a crowd of thousands is marching down a road, it will still stop and obey a red light.

Greece and Turkey ready to talk (Foreign Policy) On Tuesday, Greek and Turkish officials agreed to resume talks for the first time in four years in order to try to resolve their long-running dispute in the eastern Mediterranean. Officials did not say when talks would begin, but preparations are underway and they could start as early as the end of the month. Both countries have a wide gap to bridge. Greece and Cyprus have been pushing the European Union to take a tougher stance on Turkey, and Cyprus recently scuttled plans by the bloc to sanction Belarusian leaders over its unwillingness to apply similar pressure to Turkey.

Zambia’s debt (Foreign Policy) Zambian President Edgar Lungu’s government said that it was seeking “the suspension of debt service payments for a period of six months” from private creditors holding around $3 billion in international bonds, possibly making Zambia the first African country to default on its debt due to the coronavirus pandemic. Zambia has been hurtling toward a debt crisis for months. In July, the Wall Street Journal reported that government debt was on course to surpass 100 percent of the country’s gross domestic product this year, rooted in economic pressures that far predated the pandemic. But Zambia is one of several African countries suffering from a heavy burden of debt, and if its default represents the first in a string of similar cases, it could be disastrous for countries across the developing world.

[seekfirstme]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2019. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.ServantsOfTheWord.org

Meditation: What is the purpose of God's law and commandments? The Pharisees prided themselves in the knowledge of the law of Moses and the ritual requirements of the law. They made it a life-time practice to study the 613 precepts of the Torah - the books of the Old Testament containing the Law of Moses - along with the numerous rabbinic commentaries on the law. The religious authorities tested Jesus to see if he correctly understood the law as they did. Jesus startled them with his profound simplicity and mastery of the law of God and its purpose.

God's love rules all

Jesus summarized the whole of the law in two great commandments found in Deuteronomy  6:5 - "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might" - and Leviticus 19:18 -  "you shall love your neighbor as yourself". God's love directs all that he does - His love is holy, just, and pure because it seeks only what is good, beneficial, and life-giving - rather than what is destructive, evil, or deadly. That is why he commands us to love - to accept and to give only what is good, lovely, just, and pure and to reject whatever is contrary.

God puts us first in his thoughts

God is love and everything he does flows from his love for us (1 John 3:1, 4:7-8, 16). God puts us first in his thoughts and concerns - do we put him first in our thoughts? God loved us first (1 John 4:19) and our love for him is a response to his exceeding goodness and kindness towards us. The love of God comes first and the love of neighbor is firmly grounded in the love of God. The more we know of God's love, truth, and goodness, the more we love what he loves and reject whatever is hateful and contrary to his will. God commands us to love him first above all else - his love orients and directs our thoughts, intentions, and actions to what is wholly good and pleasing to him. He wants us to love him personally, wholeheartedly, and without any reservation or compromise.

The nature of love - giving to others for their sake

What is the nature of love? Love is the gift of giving oneself for the good of others - it is wholly other oriented and directed to the welfare and benefit of others. Love which is rooted in pleasing myself is self-centered and possessive - it is a selfish love that takes from others rather than gives to others. It is a stunted and disordered love which leads to many hurtful and sinful desires - such as jealousy, greed, envy, and lust. The root of all sin is disordered love and pride which is fundamentally putting myself above God and my neighbor - it is loving and serving self rather than God and neighbor. True love, which is wholly directed and oriented to what is good rather than evil, is rooted in God's truth and righteousness (moral goodness).

How God loves us

God loves us wholly, completely, and perfectly for our sake - there is no limit, no holding back, no compromising on his part. His love is not subject to changing moods or circumstances. When God gives, he gives generously, abundantly, freely, and without setting conditions to the gift of his love. His love does not waver, but is firm, consistent, and constant. He loves us in our weakness - in our fallen and sinful condition. That is why the Father sent his only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to redeem us from slavery to sin and its disordered cravings, desires, passions, and addictions. God the Father always seeks us out to draw us to his throne of mercy and help. God the Father corrects and disciplines us in love to free us from the error of our wrong ways of thinking and choosing what is harmful and evil rather than choosing what is good and wholesome for us. Do you freely accept God's love and do you willingly choose to obey his commandments?

We do not earn God's love - it is freely given

How can we possibly love God above all else and obey his commandments willingly and joyfully, and how can we love our neighbor and willing lay down our life for their sake? Paul the Apostle tells us that "hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us" (Romans 5:5). We do not earn God's love - it is freely given to those who open their heart to God and who freely accept the gift of the Holy Spirit. Ask the Lord Jesus to flood your heart with his love through the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Love grows with faith and hope

What makes our love for God and his commands grow in us? Faith in God and hope in his promises strengthens us in the love of God. They are essential for a good relationship with God, for being united with him. The more we know of God the more we love him and the more we love him the greater we believe and hope in his promises. The Lord Jesus, through the gift of the Holy Spirit, gives us a new freedom to love as he loves. Paul the Apostle writes, "For freedom Christ has set us free... only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh [sinful inclinations], but through love be servants of one another" (Galatians 5:1,13). Do you allow anything to keep you from the love of God and the joy of serving others with a generous heart? 

"Lord Jesus, your love surpasses all. Flood my heart with your love and increase my faith and hope in your promises. Help me to give myself in generous service to others as you have so generously given yourself to me."

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2019.

 

DEATH IN THE FAMILY

  "Both Mahlon and Chilion died also, and the woman was left with neither her two sons nor her husband." —Ruth 1:5  

All the men in Naomi's family died, her husband and two married sons. Under these circumstances, many would despair and their lives would fall apart. But, by God's power, death in the family can become life-giving and lift the family to new heights of love and grace.

For example, Ruth could rise above her grief at her husband's death to exhibit a faithfulness to her mother-in-law, a prophetic example of our heavenly Father's faithfulness. When Ruth left her homeland with her mother-in-law, she committed social suicide. According to the customs of the time, she threw away her future and condemned herself to abject poverty. However, by a miraculous turn of events, Ruth married Boaz and became the great-grandmother of King David (Ru 4:17).

A mourning and bereft family was used mightily in God's salvation plan. A widow traumatized by the deaths of husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law gave life and prepared the way for Jesus the Messiah. God turns all things, even death, to the good for those who love Him (Rm 8:28).

  Prayer: Father, thank You for Brother Death through which life enters the world. Console and heal the grieving. We trust You. Promise: " 'You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment." —Mt 22:37-38 Praise: St. Rose was born in Lima, Peru, of Spanish descent. Leading a humble life, she is the first canonized saint of the Americas.   (Learn to love God more by reading the Bible daily. For encouragement, order, listen to, or download the following CDs or : Ignorance of Scripture is Ignorance of Christ or , How to Pray the Bible CD or , or , Principles of Bible Interpretation or .)  

  Rescript: In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") for One Bread, One Body covering the period from August 1, 2019 through September 30, 2019.

†Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, February 15, 2019.  

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

[bthenoise]

Adversity, Faith and Substance: Garrett Russell Talks Pressure & Themes Of Game-Changing Silent Planet LP ‘When The End Began’

This interview previously aired on idobi Radio and is for everyone who was too lazy to tune in. Enjoy!

By now, we’d like to think you have all been absolutely mesmerized by the magnificent musicianship of Silent Plant’s hard-hitting work of art When The End Began. Thunderous and thought-provoking similar to 2016′s critically acclaimed Everything Went Sound, Silent Planet’s latest is yet another brilliant concoction of their progressive spoken word-like metalcore.

Speaking with vocalist Garrett Russell about the pressure of living up to their previous release, the honest and outspoken frontman admitted it definitely got to him saying, “Recording this album put me in a really hardcore depression. I literally woke up and my body ached. It was nuts. It was the worst few months of my life, for sure.”

As if the pressure of surpassing their previous record wasn’t enough, the band was also faced with the difficult task of replacing their guitarist and main songwriter Spencer Keene. Turning to their “wild genius” Mitchell Stark to take over, Russell credits Stark’s quick learning with not only saving the new album but also the band’s career.

“If you take almost any other guitar player in our music scene, anyone who can play technical heavy metal riffs, if you make them our guitar player instead of Mitch, our band would’ve ceased to exist,” Russell said. “When Spencer stopped writing music [for us], most bands would have stopped being a band.” 

To read more about how Silent Planet broke through their adversity and came together to release one of this year’s best metalcore records, be sure to read our interview with Russell below. Afterward, make sure to not only grab a copy of When The End Began but also pick up tickets to see Silent Plant out on tour with The Amity Affliction, Senses Fail and Belmont here.    

Everything Was Sound was obviously a big record for you guys. When it came to working on this new album, was there was a little pressure? Garrett Russell: There was, to be honest. In the past, there really wasn't and just recording this album put me in like a really hardcore depression. I literally woke up and my body ached. It was nuts. Like, it was really shitty dude. It was the worst few months of my life, for sure. I literally had nightmares sometimes that I'm back in those few months where it felt like I was in a prison and it was really not awesome. I don't know how much of that came from pressure I made up in my head or me just getting out of surgery and my body reacting pretty weird to some of what they did in the surgery and some of the medications I was having to take. Some of that might have been probably part of it. But all in all, yeah there was pressure I think for the first time. I think too, we wrote this album with a slightly different -- like the process of writing was slightly different. So I think we weren't really sure how that would come out. But I'm really proud of the record, which I know sounds strange to say after saying all the stuff that I just said because those things would probably sound like contrasting facts. But I am proud of the record, but to be honest, I'm still mentally recovering from it.

When The End Began is the first record you’ve done without guitarist Spencer Keene. Do you think that had to do with the added pressure? 

Yeah, certainly. Mitch [Stark, guitarist] and Spencer are definitely different musicians and how they approach music is slightly different. I think honestly if our band didn't have Mitch -- like if you take almost any other guitar player in our music scene, anyone who can play technical heavy metal riffs, if you make them our guitar player instead of Mitch, our band would’ve ceased to exist. When Spencer stopped writing music [for us], most bands would have stopped being a band. Bands in our situation would’ve had to stop. Our music -- if you break it down, like the structure and some of the weird tuning we use and just like the weird ebb and flow of the songs, there just isn't really a lot of bands that are sounding like us, which could be good or bad. Maybe we suck and we're doing a thing that’s kind of pointless. But regardless, to be Silent Planet wouldn’t have really been possible [without Mitch]. The weird thing, we kind of randomly had Mitch join the band a few years ago and he is this kind of wild genius. He's really sweet and he’s humble. He would never say this but like, I mean, he taught himself Russian for fun when he was 16. We went to Moscow and he was just talking to people in Russian. And his Spanish is so good. We played a show in Mexico and people asked him if he grew up in Spain or something because his Spanish is just there. And he’s one of those rare people that is able to learn stuff just way faster than normal. Like I'm still working on Spanish and I stuck at it. He mastered it when he was in high school. He’s kind of an abnormal guy. So he was able to join the band (his previous band was like an indie band) and kind of figure out how to play these weird metal riffs and then figure out how to write Silent Planet albums to where people will hear a [slight] difference when they hear the album -- he obviously wasn't trying to mimic Spencer, he was trying to just be himself but he also kept the style and I think our album still feels uniquely us and that's kind of the whole weird thing about all this. You know, I’ve seen a lot of bands lose a primary writer who has a strong identity and those bands usually stop. They just kind of have to call it or they just go without the person and usually people are super pissed because they're like, “Wait, this isn't the same band I signed up for.”

That’s interesting. To us, there doesn’t really seem to be a drastic drop-off from Everything Was Sound to When The End Began. If we didn’t know about the lineup change, we would have never guessed.  I'm glad to hear that. I think that’s definitely the goal. We believe in everything we've done. I guess one thing that makes us slightly different than a lot of heavier bands that you might hear is a lot of times the first album these bands put out, they’re like eighteen. They’re still just figuring out their own selves and their own personalities and what they like about music. For us, what’s kind of a little different is that it took us a really long time to sort of grow to where -- I mean, granted, actually, Spencer was quite young when he wrote our first album. I was 24 when we put it out. Like, I’m old. I'm definitely older than most of the people I meet who are in this genre of music. I think most people kind of get older and they think “Oh, I gotta stop playing heavy music. I got to either get a real job or go play like Coachella rock.” So I guess that's kind of a unique thing for us is we stand behind our old stuff just as much as our new stuff. We don't roll our eyes when someone's like, “Oh play that old song.” We’re like “Oh, cool!” We like that. We believe in this. We haven't really gone through a thing where we feel like, “Oh, that's ‘the old us.’” It kind of all of us, you know? I remember Underoath talking about when they put out Lost in the Sound of Separation after Define the Great Line. I remember them talking about like, “Oh, it’s kind of interesting because we finally put out the record that we really believe in. You know, with Define the Great Line, we were like, okay, where should we go from here? Because we already like what we've done.” And that's kind of where it's been for us every time we write. We like what we've done but we also want to grow. We also want to be open to change. And so that's kind of, I guess, that's where we are.

Aside from Mitch taking over a lot of the writing responsibility, is there a defining moment on the record you can point to and say that’s the newer Silent Planet? Yeah, certainly. I would say “The New Eternity.” It has kind of a big chorus: “Strange fruit is growing on the vine beneath a bright synthetic sky. I fear we’ve sealed our fate. There’s no escape - there’s no escape.” It's a big chorus, like a chorus that was really written with a lot of intention, which it was. And that's one of the unique things about this album is we spent a lot more time on song structure and choruses. Because when we play our old stuff, it's pretty clear to me that our chorus moments weren't really the parts people were holding their breath for. It was more likely a certain lyrical moment or a certain musical part. So obviously, we didn't change anything about our style or our approach or the kind of music we want to write or the stuff we want to talk about. We just really focused a lot more on the melody. In the past, I've written most of the melodies and I don't even sing them and I don't even sing well so it was like, “Okay, let's write these melodies with people who are great at melodies.” So we had our buddy Steve Cobucci from Wolves at the Gate help us with some ideas, we had our buddy Ryan Leitru from For Today help us with some cool ideas and Will Putney, who was actually there producing all of the record this time unlike the last one. So we really spent a lot of time figuring out singing stuff and I think that's one thing that kind of shows through on the record. I also think that Mitch’s approach to songwriting is a little more direct where he's not going to quite make you wait through like 30 seconds of almost silence for something to come in. He might just do it right away and hit you with that. I think one thing I talked to Spencer and Mitch about is, Mitch is a little more rhythmic with how he perceives music and Spencer’s always been so thematic in almost like a film scoring thing. And it's funny, now he's doing film scoring and that's totally what he should be doing. I mean, he was great at writing band music, of course. But that's really his calling, I think.

It’s interesting because there’s such a gray area when it comes to choruses in heavy music. Some fans just want heavy breakdowns and others enjoy being able to sing along. Being that you aren’t signing the cleans for Silent Planet, do you enjoy the new choruses?

Oh, I love it. One because I love a good chorus [and] it's fun for me as someone who just wants to listen to the band. Obviously, it sounds weird to say, but I'm a fan of the band. I enjoy listening to [Silent Planet]. So I love listening to the singing especially because it gives me a break from hearing my own freaking voice and it lets me do something else. But I think, too, I really like the singing because I think we want to be a metal band that takes risks and doesn't go the easy route and isn't trying to say like, “Oh, you know, three albums from now we’ll be a rock band and we’ll be the biggest band.” We're really challenging ourselves and really doing things for the sake of the music first instead of for consumption first. But also, we want to write great things because I think the problem with sort of, like, the “sell out metalcore idea,” I think it's so much more just the lack of creative imagination than it is necessarily wanting to write infectious big chorus moments, you know what I mean? And so I think those definitely have a place in our music. I think what doesn't have a place in our music is saying, “Let's not do that thing that we’re more stoked about because, you know, people might not be able to follow along.” Or “Let's not do that one. Let's cut out these five because that's less popular now.” You know, every band sounds like thrashy, kind of 2002 metalcore now -- which is cool, but we're not going to do that just because we're aware that’s the trend or the vibe that's going on. And no offense to the bands that are, they can be super what they love, but obviously we're just going to keep doing what we think we need to do because at the end of the day whenever [Silent Planet’s] done and whenever not a single person in the world cares about us, we want to have a discography that we feel we're proud of and that's exactly what these are. The songs we needed to write, you know? That's really our goal and our passion right now.

That’s refreshing to hear in this world of copy-and-paste. Speaking of your lyrics, which you always leave footnotes for, do you enjoy giving people so much background into the ideas you sing about?

I do, I do. But it's funny because [”In Absence”] has no footnotes. The reason I didn’t want to put notes for that one is because it's really emotional and it's just, I think too the lyrics are so clouded, I just felt like it didn't really feel right for that song. I could have had some. It wouldn't have been a ton, it probably would have been like eight or nine, and I already had some written out but I just kind of deleted them. It's funny because the song’s very different than anything we've ever done. It's pretty much a rock song and so it'll be interesting to see what people think about it. Hopefully someone calls me a sellout. I want my money back if no one calls me and a sellout [laughs]. I think most level-headed people will be like, “Oh, this is just one of many songs on the album” but I'm sure there will be a few people saying “I can't believe you went rock man, I believed in you.” It is what it is and musically it's one of my favorite songs on the album.

In previous discussions, you’ve talked about how you don’t think Silent Planet will ever be a huge band, to the likes of say, Lamb of God -- which, who knows if any band can reach the level of fame anymore. But was that an idea you came to realize early in the band’s career?

Oh yeah. super early. I'm surprised that we got to where we are where we can do an American headlining tour. For me, connecting with our listeners is one of the biggest reasons why I do this. I don’t know, I always just felt like the Lord would keep us small enough. Of course, I'm not speaking for my bandmates I’m just speaking for myself, but I always felt kind of like God would keep us small enough and humble enough that we can focus on what's really important which is people who are at our shows and are hoping to talk and are going through some stuff. Just seeing life-giving moments and transformation happen in people's lives is definitely [important] for me as far as doing this and I imagine if you were way, way too big -- it might be hard for Randy Blythe to just walk out in the crowd and start talking to people and have a genuine conversation. No offense to Randy Blythe, that’s how popularity works. It's interesting you mention God keeping Silent Planet a smaller band. Our scene has certainly seen big religious acts like Underoath and August Burns Red. Do you think popularity diverts from faith in a way?

I think that speed and busyness diverts you from faith. I read a book like five years ago called Living Gently in a Violent World by a philosopher and theologian named Stanley Hauerwas who's a really fascinating fellow, very anti-nation, very anti-war. He moved to France and lived in a l'arche community, which these communities are really unique because they were started by a nun and they were started with the belief that people with disabilities, like intellectual disabilities, should take care of one another. So people with intellectual disabilities -- that aren’t high [functining] enough to live with their families or live alone are sent to these places. [The idea is] they shouldn’t be in hospital settings where they’re put into separate rooms or even have a roommate -- it's kind of a similar model to the hospital or prison system -- but [the idea is] they should actually take care of one another and they should help one another and that all humans are created for intimacy and for community including people that maybe have had disabilities that make it hard for us to really understand what they're thinking. 

So [Hauerwas] did that and he wrote this book about how he realized that their speed is just different and to really love these people and to understand them you have to really slow down. You have to calm your mind, you have to be present and it really made me examine the speed at which I live my life and I still live my life with a constant “what's next?”. When we wrote this album, I was so hung up on like, “Okay, well this is a good line but what's the next one?” I couldn't even enjoy what I was writing. I couldn't even enjoy the moment I was in because I was just obsessing over the next moment. It’s in my prayer system to, you know, keep me gentle with myself and with time. I don’t want to be this guy running around hoarding time. I want to be present. I know that sounds like some surfer-hippie stuff, especially coming out of my stoner-sounding mouth. But you know, I think popularity probably often leads to busyness like, “Oh, I gotta do this and that and this” and I don't want to be too busy to notice the one person that needs to talk. I hope God has grace for me [becuase] I'm sure there will be many times in my life that I don't make time for other people. You know, maybe it's out of desire to do the right thing but I want to notice things, you know. I’ve been speaking to other bands and how they do things and stuff -- because keep in mind a lot of people with being a Christian band are like, “Oh, I believe these things and I gotta give JC a shout out on stage” and that's not really my relationship with Jesus. My understanding of Christianity is kind of different than that. Not better, not worse -- maybe it's worse, I don't know. It’s just not how I see it. But for me being a Christian, we don't consider ourselves a Christain band, but me being a Christian “person,” I guess a Christian artist, whatever, that means I want to find something beautiful and I want to be excited about the mystery of what's to come in every moment and really just be consumed with love for people and love for myself and love for my enemies. And so I guess for me, busyness and speed are probably the two primary enemies of really pursuing my faith. My enemies aren’t atheist or whatever they would tell you what your enemies are at certain churches. My enemies are myself, my desire to always live in the next moment and to be gone in this moment. 

That’s a really interesting point of view. We appreciate you sharing that. It’s also interesting to hear your viewpoint on faith considering your recent tour with Stray From The Path. While they don’t openly speak out against religion, they don’t exactly seem like a band that’s pro-faith.  Yeah, they don’t like cops that much [laughs]. I mean, it's funny because they have friends who are cops. They mostly mean police brutality and a lot of what happens with cops. 

Right! So being that they might not be the most friendly to the church, did you have to reconsider things when the tour was pitched?

I mean, [the tour] really came from us. It really came out of my relationship with Tom, who is the guitar player and kind of the “band dad” -- as much as I’m like the “band dad” of my band, he’s kind of the “band dad” of his band. So the two “band dads” talked and we’ve been planning it for a year, we almost did it earlier but some stuff came up. But Tom likes our music, he listens to it. I thought it was really cool because most bands are just so concerned with like “who's who” and being cool or whatever and they usually don't take time to listen to a band and subjectively decide how they feel about it. So that was cool, he was jamming us like four years ago and encouraging his listeners to check us out well before we were really on any kind of radar. I really respect that Stray talks about real stuff. I think more bands need to talk about real stuff. I, with Silent Planet, try to speak about specific things. Some of them might be controversial. Some of them might not be controversial. Some of them might be kind of gross like, “Why’d you write a song about that?” But regardless, they're all things that I think need to be talked about, things that I'm passionate about talking about and I want to be specific. Like, the thing that I really kind of grew to loathe about most bands in our world is just the lack of -- I have trouble engaging with stuff if it's not about anything. 

There’s no substance.

Yeah, and I see that in a lot of the religious bands that try to give low-key references to what they believe but don't even really go fully into it. I like that For Today was super straightforward about what they believed about stuff, you know. It’s just because they were saying something. I don't even agree with a lot of things they said theologically, I just like that they said stuff. In the same way, I like that Stray is saying stuff. You know, I like bands like Rage Against the Machine. I like Kendrick Lamar. I like people who really, like Eminem, people who have something to stay and really say it and take a chance. Instead of being a politician just saying like, “Oh, how can I obtain the maximum amount of fans and minimize my alienation? The only people I’ll alienate are people that would make me more popular in my process of alienating.” There’s this libertarian rap metal band called BackWordz and I honestly don't really like them musically but I noticed the dude's like crazy opinionated. He’s on Twitter just arguing with people 24/7 -- and I wouldn't approach things that way, arguing on Twitter, that’s fun, I've done it a few times, I’m kind of over it. But I think it's cool that the dude has something to say and that's cool. 

So as an artist who speaks up for important subjects, is it frustrating when you see musicians with zero substance in their music become popular? 

Oh no. Being frustrated at their success would be like accidentally kicking a table when you're walking. Oh god, it’s the worst when you kick it with your pinky toe and your barefoot. But when you kick a table, you could be mad at the table but the table is just a table. What I mean there is, I'll say explicitly: One) that music is just dumb, it’s just stupid and, like the table, just has really nothing to offer. But there's a function for it like the table has a function in a room. Those bands have a function in society which is to perpetuate the myth of greed, to perpetuate the myth of power, to perpetuate the myth of violence and whatever. It is what it is. I wish the bands who talked about partying or whatever would at least have good music when they do it. Typically they don’t. I wish they were musically progressive or cool. Say a band like The Contortionist, they don't talk about this, but if The Contortionist talked about all the money they make and how cool their shoes were and stuff like that, I feel like I would listen to it. I’d be like, “Sick! I don't agree with this, but dude your music is tight!” [laughs] Of course, they don't talk about that stuff. But just for an example, you know.

[kingvillarreal-blog]

Free Stuff To Do In Amsterdam.

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Certainly not receiving exactly what they prefer, certainly not obtaining all those traits that they presume are going to make all of them happy, they come to be resentful, resentful, imply as well as they are actually looking for ways to predict all those negative emotions on those around all of them. We only published an associated with this to our brand-new facebook web page called Create a healthy and balanced and happy lifestyle". Thus, below are actually some tips for each girl available reviewing my article, that will certainly create your hubby crave for you! Seriously, most of us recognize that modern technology is actually remarkable, but when you devote lengthy hours before one, it is very important to unwind and ensure there is actually even more to lifestyle than the online. They simply go and come as well as if you prefer to concentrate on the issues somewhat then the many things you may learn from them, if you prefer to see them as dreadful individuals that just won't permit you to become delighted, as individuals that are actually just aiming to create your life much more awful, they are going to sympathize an extended period of your time. Thats the issue folks matured having relatively very easy lifestyles in a very first planet country possess no hint what true challenges are actually. and afterwards fuss they may not be happy its unfortunate and also hilarious that thats what this world has pertained to. A venture control qualification will definitely let companies know that you adore your self-control and that you have actually accomplished the instruction needed to make you a useful and qualified expert. Picture a baby who is just delighted to become (when they are actually certainly not sobbing, that is!) Make an effort shifting your concentration to being, as well as consider somebody or one thing that you love. I do not mind when our chats receive a bit boring & we run out of points to state, just possessing you suffices to earn me delighted. For additional l ove quotes, visit the well-known, a site that specializes in 'Top 10' listings of estimates in lots of groups.

[hamitrashcan-blog]

This is a conversation between Alexander Hamilton and yourself, Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan . Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Oh hey Alex" Alexander Hamilton: "Uh, hey. Do I know you?" Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"...It's Hercules " Alexander Hamilton: "..Herc?? No kidding. I thought you looked familiar." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Yeah. I have no idea what happened " Alexander Hamilton: "I don't either but I kinda like it. You look good." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Oh thanks" Hercules smiles Alexander Hamilton: Alex nods but quickly adds, "Well, you looked good before too. Hell, don't talk to a bisexual about this shit, you look good both ways." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"I always look good Alex." Hercules chuckles Alexander Hamilton: "True to that. So, what are you gonna do with your newfound physique? I say sleep around while you can. Be safe 'n shit but might as well see what it's like." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Well I'm not sure what to do. I might just stay inside and work on people's clothes " Alexander Hamilton: "That's so boring! Herc, you have a plethora of new opportunities staring at you in the face, take initiative, go live life a little, who knows how long this lasts?" Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"I dont know what to do, I'm not going to try on dresses, or try on make up and shit. Besides on my way here someone said I had big tits. Which was a horrible and uncomfortable moment " Alexander Hamilton: "Now you know what life is like for the second class citizen known as women. Highly underestimated, terribly treated and will soon rule the world as we know it. Personally I'm fine with the last one." He tucks his hands in his hoodie pocket, yawning slightly. "Let's at least enjoy the fresh air before I'm holed up in my apartment for another 48 hours straight." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :Herculws chuckles "Alright, Well what do you want to do?" Alexander Hamilton: "Coffee. I know a nice cafe, c'mon." He turns heel, already heading off. "The world is much more complex when you speak French. 'Coffee, I know a nice coffee.', see, it doesn't really work." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Yeah it doesn't" Hercules follows Alexander Alexander Hamilton: "It gets even worse with spanish, fuck." he huffs a laugh, looking around the city and busy street. "Though personally I'm the kind of guy to just think in one language at a time save for times when there's just that one word that doesn't quite translate. Problems only come up when the person you're talking to isn't bilingual. Laf knows my pain." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Oh I see, how far is the coffee shop anyways, Alex?" Hercules stuffed her hands in her pockets "I don't know why you bother to learn other languages. But then again Jefferson can speak like what, 6 different languages?" Alexander Hamilton: "Couple blocks. Also, Jefferson can eat shit." He huffs scowling ahead. Then again, Alex had a bad case of resting bitch face, not like he could help it, especially if the topic is Jefferson. "He only speaks four, one more than I can. That'll change once I learn latin fluently but personally surpassing him on sheer language fluency isn't on the top of my to-do list." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Hm, alright. I don't know what's the deal with you and Jefferson, you both are similar in many ways it's just different views on things " Alexander Hamilton: "Jefferson is a hypocritical, narcissistic, stubborn son of a bitch and he knows jack diddly fucking squat about how to run his department or contribute to the organization as a whole." He only stops at the entrance to the cafe which had quite a few people but wasn't packed. He held open the door for Herc, nodding for her to head in. "He's negating everything I'm trying to do and i'm doing vice versa and it's putting us at a stalemate and we're not going anywhere but he refuses to listen to any sort of reasoning or even sit down at a table with me and talk it over unless he's forced to." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :Hercules walked into the cafe chuckling a bit "I probably shouldn't have mentioned him then. " Hercules gets herself a cappuccino and a cookie "but Jefferson isn't stupid, just an old person. Isn't he 14 years older than you or something " Alexander Hamilton: "Not unless you want me to recite my entire essay as to why he's a bitch." he huffs, heading up to the counter and getting himself something small with only a little caffeine since his tolerance to it was getting higher and he didn't want to make that worse. "He is, he's not that old but he acts like a crotchety old man sometimes." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Oh okay. " Hercules sips her coffee "Well maybe we should stop talking about him..." Alexander Hamilton: Alex pays and takes his own, taking a long drink. "Agreed. Let's get somewhere quieter too." he heads out of the bustling shop back to the sidewalk, taking in a deep breath. "I have about 7 reports to write by the end of the week and they were assigned this morning. I don't know why G.Wash works me like a dog but I'm starting to get sick of it. I mean, yeah i'm glad to be working so close to him and he's a decent boss, not to mention the pay is great but seriously, 7 reports. Seven!" Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Maybe he does that because he knows that you'll be able to complete it. After all you did write 51 essays on something " Alexander Hamilton: "Yeah, 51 out of 81 of the 'group effort essays'. Granted, I took initiative and the limit we were given were 25 but I kinda got passionate. But that was over the span of a few months! Nearly half a year, this is due in a week." He rolls his eyes, pausing his step when a guy started to cat call Hercules. He snapped back at him with very..colorful language and nudged her to keep going. "Sheesh this city can be trash sometimes." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Its a great city, just...bad people I guess" Hercules pulled her hood up "and what are the reports about?" Alexander Hamilton: "Everything and nothing, it'd take too long to really explain it and I'm not really fond of going down that rabbit hole into a tangent over it." He shakes his head, starting to walk towards his apartment building. "Have you seen John around?" Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Alright.." Hercules sighs "Oh john? He might be at his house. Or at the beach " Alexander Hamilton: "The beach?? Well shit, we should join him." He had work to do but he knew how to crunch time and get things done. He worked very well under pressure. Didn't mean he liked being under pressure or that it wasn't stressful, he just produced good work while he was pressured. "I wanna distract myself from my impending work for a little while longer." Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Alright. I'll call John and see if he's ther-actually he might not recognize my voice. You call him" Alexander Hamilton: Alex nodded, digging out his phone and calling John, eagerly awaiting his friend's answer. Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :((Should I be john? )) Alexander Hamilton: ((if you'd like Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :John answered his phone "Oh hey Alex!" Alexander Hamilton: "Hey, John, a little bird told me you're at the beach. Mind if I come too? I have work to do so it's alright if you don't want me intruding but I'd rather be out of my apartment for once in my life." He paused at said apartment building, standing in the small doorway. His apartment was on the third floor and he wasn't gonna walk all those stairs unless he had to. Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Oh sure come right over! I'm searching for turtles!" John answered Alexander Hamilton: "Of course you are. Alright, be there in a bit." He hung up and slightly smiled. "Shit he's cute. Anyways, wanna come with me?" Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Sure, I have nothing else to do " Hercules grins Alexander Hamilton: Alex hesitates though, gesturing to her new body. "Think he'll be confused?" Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Yeah he will be confused. But if I explain it to him I'm sure he'll understand " Alexander Hamilton: ((i gotta go check on my neighbor's dogs real quick, ill be back in a few minutes Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :((Alright!)) Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :(( I'm a patient little child)) Alexander Hamilton: ((sorry that took me so long Alexander Hamilton: ((the dogs and i started to cuddle and i'll never try to resist that Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :((Its fine! Alexander Hamilton: ((manly man cuddling with his hounds Alexander Hamilton: ((they're both big doofuses though Alexander Hamilton: ((and not technically mine Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :((Dogs are great )) Alexander Hamilton: Alex nodded, looking to the apartment complex, considering something. "I dunno if I wanna take the metro or risk asking you to drive in NYC traffic Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"I'll drive Alex" Hercules took her car keys out of her pocket Alexander Hamilton: "You sure you wanna brave the traffic?" He quirked up a brow, looking her up and down. Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :"Do you want to walk? " Alexander Hamilton: "Driving it is." He took another sip of coffee, nodding for Herc to lead the way. Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan :Hercules walked to her car and unlocked it Alexander Hamilton has left the conversation