#he already loves the baby anyway it's Peter and El's

[firebirdsdaughter]

But I do love this family so much…

… The acting in the whole series is stellar, but Checkmate really deserved some awards all ‘round.

Neal’s not just terrified for El, he’s also having to go through the torture of watching Peter suffer like this, and the show doesn’t cut around that. The way it cuts to him being like ‘I need to go hyperventilate in a corner of the yard’ when he hears Peter say ‘hon,’ bc he knows what that means. Matt Bomer has very expressive eyes and you can just see the agony in them through the whole thing. He’s looking down the barrel of losing what have become two of the most important people in his entire life in different ways, partially bc of his own actions, and that shatters him. Half of this is his fault, and he knows it. It’s heartbreaking to me that even in that moment, he desperately still wants Peter to know he didn’t steal the treasure. He knows he’s at fault but he needs Peter to know he didn’t do that, at least didn’t betray him like that. Ultimately, it’s not a huge comfort, but I don’t think he’s trying to dodge blame, I think he just wants Peter to know he really didn’t do that to him.

Meanwhile, obviously Peter is completely wrecked. Tim DeKay became a master of stoicism over in the show and it’s on full display. When Peter lashes out it’s serious, and the anger and pain are palpable. One of the people he loves most is in danger and he’s absolutely livid at the other bc it’s partially his fault. His son got his wife kidnapped. On top of his son lying to him for months and finding out that his son was thinking about leaving. The anger is perfectly understandable, but I do feel like you still feel his feelings for Neal through it. He snaps, quite understandably, but he’s not completely tearing into Neal and accusing him of not caring or anything, he trusts Neal’s help and ultimately reassures Mozzie, the person ultimately responsible for a lot of his pain this season, that it was Keller’s choice to kidnap El. He cuts off the pointed accusations about leaving when Neal tells him he didn’t want to, and doesn’t accuse Neal of trying to get out of things. Neal saying he didn’t want to leave clearly means something. Peter can be absolutely terrifying when he wants to be, as evidenced by how ready he is to just tear Keller apart. I feel like it shows a lot about his care of Neal that he’s comparatively restrained with him and lets him help. Peter is careful with what he tells Neal if he doesn’t trust him. The appearance of the most emotionally wrought ‘damnit Neal’ ever. Peter trying to shut Keller down when he’s taunting Neal about lying about the treasure, sounding downright protective. And like how Neal’s consequences aren’t just having El be endangered but also having to watch Peter go through this, Peter in pain both bc El is in danger and it’s partially Neal’s fault (and Neal was lying to him). He’s both panicked and betrayed. Someone he loves is in danger bc someone else he loves lied to him. The way he’s still worried about Neal when they lose contact and forgoes immediately rushing to El to go rescue him.

Meanwhile El is a queen. The sheer nerve of being told not to pass messages and then blatantly passing one (also Satchmo for best boy). She also has no doubt that Neal will help rescue her rather than run away, and despite being very frightened holds herself together with aplomb. She’s smart enough to get out of the building with allows the FBI to find her (for someone as allegedly smart as Keller, not checking her jewellery for diamonds is hilarious—maybe he just didn’t think she’d know that/be bale to get to the window). She immediately tells Peter to go get Neal first (w/ all the intensity of ‘go get our boy, dear’).

While I’m generally annoyed w/ Mozzie for any number of reasons, he’s also great. He talks shit but he cares about the Burkes, not just bc Neal does, and sees them as separate from The Establishment. He immediately comes back when he learns what happened (I really wanna know what Neal wrote, was it just ‘WE GOT EL KIDNAPPED BY KELLER’ in bright red capital letters???), and walks right into the FBI. I think it’s also a consequences moment for Mozzie, albeit one that doesn’t really stick, bc he’s the one who taught Neal how to be this self centred, he’s never cared about the effects his actions have on others in the past—partially bc he’s never been in so deep, or pissed off anyone as violent as Keller. He’s also one degree removed—like sure, he cares about the Burkes, but it’s a different relationship than Neal has w/ them. He probably didn’t even consider that Keller would focus on/suspect Neal and by extension them. Mozzie also thinks overly highly of criminal life—he’s got the whole ‘gentleman thief’ illusion. The idea of Keller involving a civilian may never have crossed his mind, bc he projected an ‘honourable battle’ sort of thing onto the situation. He would never involve an innocent civilian, so he doesn’t think that Keller might.

Also if we’re giving acting chops, he’s not family, but I gotta hand them to Keller’s actor, too. That guy does an excellent down played menacing. Definitely much more frightening than his hired muscle.

[jimmys-zeppelin]

ghostin'

chapter twelve

(table of contents)

(chapter eleven)

april 6, 1976

As Ellie left the studio the next night, she got into her car and rustled around her purse for her pack of cigarettes and lit one once she was able to pull it from the carton.

A taxi pulled up beside her car across the street, Ellie looked over as she took a drag. The figure emerging from the vehicle was dressed sharply in a long collared leather jacket, a tight-fit black t-shirt and nicely ironed slacks. It could only be her best friend.

The two quickly made eye contact and started laughing as he gave her a hug through her open window. "Let's go, I was coming to pick you up." Andrew said in a cheerful voice, tapping on the edge of the car's window before coming around to the other side and hopping into the passenger seat beside her.

"Where are we going?" Ellie asked, taking a drag of the cigarette as she started the car.

"Lafferty's of course." Andrew said, naming the pair's favorite bar just south of Los Angeles. Ellie squealed excitedly, shifting into drive and speeding down the road in the direction of the pair's preferred spot.

☆

That morning Ellie was woken by a throbbing pain in her skull, a sharp ringing once her hearing had returned to her. The doorbell was ringing. Why was the doorbell ringing?

Looking over at the clock, it read 11:05. Ellie groaned, looking down at her clothing situation and deciding to go downstairs to answer the door anyway.

The door swung open and the biggest bouquet of flowers she'd ever seen had been presented before her eyes. A head poked out from behind the bushel and smiled at her. The teenager holding her flowers took out a card from his pocket.

"Ellie Saunders?" he asked.

"Yes, that's me." Ellie said sweetly, "who sent me flowers?" she asked.

"Someone by the name of Jimmy." the man replied, handing Ellie the bouquet, "There's a card in there explaining what the different flowers mean along with a note from Jimmy. With the little I know about flowers, I'm assuming he loves you a lot. Congratulations. Enjoy."

"He does..." she said, taking a long look at the flowers, noting a specific red flower among the all the white ones, "thank you!" she smiled at the boy as he walked off.

Closing the door, Ellie took a light whiff of the flowers, a fluttering sense of love flowing through her at the scent. Placing them on the counter, she was quick to find the cards attached. Reading the one with picturesque decorations of flowers first, Ellie compared them with the flowers in the bouquet.

Baby's Breath

A batch of baby's breath signifies innocence; usually to celebrate a child or a recent union between lovers. Compassion is at the heart of your sender's reasoning for sending baby's breath.

Daisies

The daisies in your bouquet indicates your sender's sense of loyalty to you. Your love is what keeps them going and they are true to you as you are to them. 

Primrose

A single primrose says that your lover simply cannot live without you. You are a guiding light in their life and you are as important the air in their lungs. We want what you have.

Ellie's eyes drifted back and forth between the flowers and the card. Tears began to brim in her eyes as she set down the card and looked at the note hidden inside of the tiny envelope. Gently tearing it open, Ellie unfolded the note.

Eleanor; my love, my light. Since I cannot be with you in person, I hope these flowers will aid in my overall presence with you during this time. You've made it clear to me that life between us is what you truly want. I admit, I was not fully open to it at the prospect, but I am ready to do this with you. As soon as we can see each other again, I hope to be in your embrace forevermore. Keep moving forward. I believe in you. I love you.

With You in Spirit, Jimmy

"Fuck," Ellie whispered to herself, wiping away at the tears uncontrollably watering her cheeks. She plucked the single primrose from the bunch and looked at it longingly. Contemplating whether or not to call him, Ellie twisted the stem around between her thumb and forefinger. Maybe she'd give it a moment. Or what if he was waiting for her to call him?

The phone beat her to the punch when it started ringing. She could only assume it was him, "hello?" she answered, trying to compose herself.

"Did you get the flowers, my love?" Jimmy's voice, lighter than air, came through the phone.

"Yeah, they were all rotted and disgusting." Ellie said, teasing him with a laugh.

"El—"

"I'm kidding....I know you'd probably commit a crime if they came to me that way. They were lovely, Jimmy. Thank you. The primrose was my favorite. I know you're obsessed with me."

"I guess you could say that." he chuckled. "So I'm assuming you read the part about me willing to try, yes?"

Ellie froze for a second, not expecting to talk about everything at that exact moment, "uhhh," she trailed off, "yeah. I read it."

"And? Do you want to go through with it?"

"Well, I don't want to force you into any—"

"Els, I want to." He cut her off.

"It's a big decision, I figured you'd probably need a few days." Ellie tried to dissuade him.

"I have another six months and I've already thought about it."

"Oh okay."

"Ellie, is this not what you wanted?" Jimmy asked, more than confused.

"I do, I just...I didn't think we were gonna plan on it. Or that you'd say yes so soon."

"Well, I'm ready whenever you are, my love, so...as soon as I get back we can...go at it like bunnies if you so please." he said the last part in a pained voice.

Ellie laughed at his choice of words, "Got it," she replied, "So what have you been up to?"

Jimmy stammered out a response, not exactly sure what to update her on, "I've been doing lots over the last few days, if I'm honest, hehe."

"Any extracurricular activities?" She asked, testing the waters.

"A little bit, yes." he answered honestly. "But you know how it is...you sound a little bit tired, what fun were you getting up to last night?"

"I sound tired because I am tired. Andrew dragged me to the bar last night after I left the studio, we had to get a taxi home because I got a bit hammered. Then I wake up to these beautiful flowers at my door."

"So you had a good night?"

"Yeah, there was some good music, we had some laughs. Good drinks....you know how it is." she repeated his phrase, although with a different connotation to it.

There was a long pause bedore Jimmy took a breath, "El, I have to go, Peter's here shaking his watch at me."

"Alright, we'll talk later."

"Okay."

"Thank you again for the flowers."

"Of course my dear, I'll call back soon." Jimmy said. After saying their goodbyes, Ellie hung up the telephone. She eyed the primrose in her hand before putting it back in its vase with the other flowers.

"I'm going back to bed." The blonde muttered to herself, padding back upstairs to her bedroom where she promptly fell back asleep.

---

masterlist | playlist

Taglist: @diaryofafan17 @tophats-n-lespauls @witchesdust @jonesyjonesyjonesy @paginate54 @hejustsatisfiess @salixfragilis @princesspagey @reincarnated70sbaby @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @kyunisixx if you want to be added to the list lmk!

5-10-21

8-2-21

[babybatscreationsv2]

A King on a Leash ch4

Marvel | Starker

Tony Stark is a powerful man with a beautiful husband and a loyal crime  family, but it looks like he didn't keep his husband on a short enough  leash. After turning Peter lose on a Cuban gang leader, Peter's life is  in danger. The real trouble is that Tony now realizes that Peter is the  only thing in this world that he cares about and he never meant for that  to happen.

Sequel to A Doll on a String 

Rating: Explicit

Full Fic

A Doll on a String

Warnings under the cut*

Warnings: consensual somnophilia, mentions of murder, brief violence

The basement of Steve's cafe smelled like perfume and pussy. Which he supposed was it's own perfume. The girls all purred and cooed as he came downstairs, trying to get his attention. Capos were allowed their time free of charge, well Steve paid them himself, anyway. Tony used to visit, himself, every now and then. He always brought gifts as well. Jewelry, fur coats, a Lamborghini. Once, on his birthday he'd had every last one of the twenty-four men and women that Steve employed. It took him the entire day and a bottle of Viagra, but he'd pulled it off. It didn't hurt that all of Steve's people were damn gorgeous. The kind of people who could have been actors or models, but they either looked too similar to someone famous or they just really liked sex.

Tony offered familiar faces a friendly greeting as he passed. It wasn’t until he stepped into the office that he laughed to himself, realizing he hadn't looked at a single nearly naked body. If anything, the sights and sounds of the brothel just made his dick miss Peter even more. There wasn't a memory made in this place that rivaled his husband's appeal.

Tony brushed off thoughts of sex and turned his attention to the man making himself very small in his presence.

"Afternoon, Marcus."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Stark." He clenched his fists and clenched his jaw, trying and failing not to tremble. Tony wished Peter were here to witness this. Nothing turned him on like watching people cower at the sight of Tony. Fuck, he needed to stop thinking about Peter.

"I hear you went and bought a building down the block."

"Yes, sir. I- I thought opening a gym would be- well it would be discreet-"

Tony waved his hand and the guard behind him grabbed Mark and bent him backward over Steve's desk, holding him tightly by the throat. He gave him a moment to calm his panic then he walked around the desk to stand over him. "What it would have done is create competition with Roger's business. Don't you think? And don't you think you should tell your boss about your business endeavors so you can pay your proper dues? Or were you planing on skipping out on your contributions to the family?"

"I was going to tell him-"

"After it was done?"

He nodded, shaking more visibly now.

"No, you see, that's not how things work." Tony took a step forward. He put a hand on the desk, casting a shadow over him. "We have a system. And in that system you do exactly as you're told. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't give out a lot of warnings, so know that if I had to step in then you're on thin fucking ice."

"I'm- I'm sorry, sir."

"Sell the business and whatever you bought for it. Give the money to Rogers as penance and we'll let this little mix up disappear. Got it?"

Mark nodded. "Yes, sir."

Tony smiled. "Good boy." He took a step back and nodded to the guard. He let Mark up and straightened his jacket for him. A real gentleman. "Now if you can fix things with Rogers, he might give you a chance in the future, but no girls. That's his thing."

Tony turned, sweeping from the room as the man stammered his agreement once again.

He passed back down the hall to go upstairs, but he was stopped by an old... friend?

"Tony," she said. In her voice was worry, not lust. So he let her pull him aside.

"Yamile? What's up?" Dark skin, darker hair, blood red lips. She looked just like he had left her.

"I need to talk to you." She pulled him into her room. She closed the door and pulled Tony away from it. Yamile was one of the few who had her own apartment in the basement. The front room was for friends and lovers. The room in a back was for clients and Yamile only took the wealthiest clients. "Is it true about Ramon?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Why is everyone obsessed with this guy?"

"Did your husband kill him?" she pushed, exasperated. She cocked her hip to one side, a hand on each hip.

"Of course not." As if he would answer a question like that honestly. She knew better. He wondered if it bothered her that he still didn't trust her.

She nodded. Yamile knew him well. She let her hands fall away. "I thought so. Listen, Tony. Suarez's cousin, Ricardo, is tearing his own country apart trying to find someone who knows where to find him. From what I have heard, he already knows you were involved." She caught both his hands.

"I don't want anything to happen to you. Or anyone that you love." She had these giant expressive eyes. Tony wondered if he didn't have a thing for big brown eyes.

"I'll be careful," he promised.

She smiled. "I'm glad you've learned how to listen, Viejo. And that your ears are not yet failing you."

Tony smiled back. "Keep your ears open, dear. And look after your own self while you're at it."

She rolled her eyes and let Tony's hands go. "Don't worry about Mark. He's just another ambitious type, starts to wonder why he should run errands for Steve when he could be making his own money. Happens once a month." She flicked her dark hair over her shoulder. "The trouble is, they always try to take one of us with them. And we are loyal to the family."

No, you're loyal to Steve, Tony thought. If Steve decided to stage an uprising Tony would have two dozen prostitutes breaking into his home to murder him.

"You still have my number, right?"

"I'll call if I hear anything," she nodded.

"And if you need anything," Tony added. "Don't think I won't take care of you."

"I'm pretty sure you specifically promised not to." She raised her eyebrow at him.

"Why? Do you still want me to?" Tony tucked his hands into his pockets.

Yamile laughed. "Knowing that you have a wildcat waiting for you in your bed, I will find a new love."

"So you haven't then? Found someone else."

"Are you jealous?" She smirked, but it was playful. She knew better than that.

"I just want to know that someone is watching your back."

"I don't take lovers after the last one broke my heart, but we take care of each other down here. And what we can't handle ourselves, we trust Steve to take care of. You should see him when one of us is hurt. El Diablo."

"As he should." He put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a fond smile. "Be good," he said.

"No promises there."

He left her room. He really did hope she was okay.

Tony went back upstairs. Steve was in the front, taking orders, but he'd left a box of treats for Peter. Tony scooped it up on his way out the door. He couldn't wait to surprise Peter with the box when he picked him up, but looking at the time, Peter wouldn't be finished for another hour. He spent a minute debating how he could fill his time until Peter was finished. In the end, his car pulled up to curb in front of the performance hall and he waited.

He saw one of Peter's guards come outside, then a moment later Peter himself. The other dancers were a blur behind him. He longed to step out of the car and gather him into his arms, but it wouldn't be wise. Tony put a lot of effort into making it seem like Peter was typically picked up by a chauffeur alone. For Peter's sake, he needed to be cautious.

A guard opened the door for Peter, who slid inside with a smile on his face. He was visibly tired and his hair oily in the front from sweat.

"Work hard today, angel?" Tony reached over to cup his face. Relief flooded his brain at the contact. He bent and pressed a kiss to his lips, feeling Peter relax and settle into his touch.

"Yes, daddy," he breathed against his lips. Tony's hand slipped into Peter hair. He tugged just enough to make him gasp. His teased Peter's bottom lip before slipping his tongue into his open mouth. Peter shivered. His cheeks were pink when he pulled away and his giant brown eyes were wide.

"Got you a present." He handed Peter the gaudy, red, white, and blue, box.

Peter smiled. "For me?" He took it and flipped it open, giving a happy little 'mmm' as he found blue sprinkled sugar cookies and a red frosting cupcake. "I must have been a good boy." He gave Tony a flirtatious look that made him smile. He could sense a yawn coming though. He counted down the seconds and sure enough, Peter yawned wide enough make his eyes water.

"Have some cookies and rest, baby."

Peter curled up against his side with his legs up on the seat. He put the box in his lap and picked out a cookie. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

Peter laughed. "I can tell when you want me." He slid his hand up Tony's thigh. Tony caught his hand.

"I'll wake you up on my dick later. How's that sound?"

Peter moaned. "You promise?"

"You can count on it, baby."

Tony played with his hair, watching Peter slowly grow more sluggish as he drifted off. He made it through a cookie and a half before he fell asleep.

Tony carried him inside when they got home. Peter barely stirred. Poor thing must have been pushing himself too hard again. His Peter was a perfectionist when it came to ballet. He believed his every move had to be exactly perfect and if it wasn't, he would practice until his feet were blistered and some times bleeding. Normally, if Peter were doing something Tony found unhealthy then he would force him to stop, but dance was the one thing that belonged exclusively to Peter. Tony wasn't going to take that from him.

He laid him in bed and tucked him in. Peter made a happy little sound as he sunk into the mattress. Tony smiled, watching him sleep for a moment. Then he went into the bathroom to clean himself up. He hoped Peter hadn't caught the perfume smell that was clinging to his hair. He wouldn't want him to feel jealous.

Squeaky clean, he went back to the bedroom. He settled into the bed next to Peter and let him sleep a while longer. Then he grabbed himself a bottle of lube and started to gently pull Peter's sweats off. He swallowed down a groan at the sight of his perfect, perky, ass. He wanted to smack it pink, but he held back.

Tony pushed one slick finger, slowly into Peter's hole. He made a soft noise, but didn't wake. Tony fucked him with his finger, testing the water. Peter didn't seem like he was going to wake up so easily, so he slipped in another. He made the sweetest, sleepy little noises, but his eyes never fluttered. After a few minutes of teasing, he gentle curled himself against Peter's back. He pressed his cock against the slick opening.

He pushed in, oh so slowly. The tight squeeze of Peter's absolutely perfect ass, wrapped around him. He took his time, whole minutes passing before he was buried inside him. Peter was slowly beginning to stir. Tony smiled, watching him wake gently as he slowly pulled back his hips. As he pushed back in, Peter made a small noise and his eyes fluttered open. He smiled.

"Daddy." He reached back and grabbed Tony's hand. He pulled his arm around him and held it like a teddy bear.

"Enjoy your nap, dear?"

Peter moaned. "I'm enjoying your cock more."

Tony kissed his neck. He felt the way his body shivered as buried his cock to the hilt. Peter took his hand and kissed it, the back, the palm, his fingers.

"Love you," he mumbled, still sleepy. "I love you so much."

Tony kissed him again. "I love you, Peter."

"I want you to hold me," he said, in that same adorably sleepy voice.

"Of course, my angel." Tony wrapped his arms around Peter, holding him tightly against his chest. He slowly rolled his hips. Peter moaned, enjoying the slow, deep thrusts of his cock.

Peter turned his head and Tony caught his lips in a lazy kiss. Warm and slow wasn't often on the agenda, but fuck if it wasn't nice. Tony was more than happy to spend the rest of the day fucking and kissing lazily. Peter even seemed to be falling back to sleep in his arms. It was too good, too perfect, and Tony followed him into sleep.

[bates--boy]

   So, now came the time for Peter to compartmentalize, because compartmentalizing was good for the mind when the soul felt like checking out. And thus, Peter compartmentalized:

          He was doing this for the collective; this was only a step above what he normally does, anyway, and he was getting paid more money in one go doing it; this was a new experience and he should be happy that he was experiencing this experience instead of being dragged through the neighborhood at four in the morning by overeager dogs and a cat; he was going to be a professional model and this was going to look so good on his resume.

          All the rationalization in the world couldn’t unlock his body from the flash freeze of embarrassment as the tits were applied to his chest.

           There was much deliberation on which size was appropriate for Peter. Though the A- and B-cup silicone breasts complemented Peter’s physique well, making him look more femininely athletic and less boyishly skinny, his shoulders were a tad too wide and the smaller cups didn’t fill out the bust of the dress quite right. There were the DDs and larger that balanced out the width of Peter’s shoulders, but they looked too unnatural, and they would require bigger hip padding that would hide Peter’s slimness that the dress required, making his employment there moot.

          Of the C- and D-cups, they went with C. No one was really happy with this decision -- a true compromise.

        So Peter had to sit there in his topless glory, struggling with a discomfort so great that it was nearly paralyzing, and resisting the fascination with his newly acquired assets and its accompanying urge to fondle them and feel their weight in his palms. The makeup artist swooped in to work his airbrush magic, spraying a shimmering foundation at Peter’s shoulders and collarbone to soften the bones and structure. As the artist worked, Peter distracted himself with working on his new song, “Batta Boy”. He couldn’t write in his notebook, not with the makeup artist practically in his lap to get close enough to spruce up his face, but he worked the lyrics in his head all the same.

           He had a chorus and a dry, barebone structure of a verse, and as Peter deliberated between using “heckle” and “hackle” as rhyme schemes or changing it to “shackle” (which meant changing up half of the song he already had figured out), the artist refilled his nozzle and went to work on Peter’s breasts. With a little bit of spray and a lot of dabbing with the blending brush, the lines of the breast forms merge so neatly with his skin that Peter believed, for just a second, that he actually could jiggle the bad boys in his hands without fear of them popping off.

          ...He really needed to stop thinking about fondling himself, or fondling an extension of himself, or maybe stop being so hyperfocused on the jelly tits altogether. 

         The manager, somehow holding a conversation with whomever on her earpiece line and giving out orders to what Peter guessed were interns, hustled Peter to the rack of dresses, where workers waited with his dress hanging on its own pole. Peter was glad for the tucking underwear he wore as the workers slid the dress up his body. When they fit the bodice over the chest and zipped up the back, Peter checked himself out in the expansive mirror, smoothing his hands down the front; a bulge would have ruined the mermaid fashion piece, would have been extremely noticeable through the blindingly white smooth satin that twisted and cascaded into a pool of fabric around his feet. He twisted his torso in the mirror; he knew that the dress provided full back protection, but he had to be sure that the... thing, the unpleasant reminder of a barely-escaped catastrophe, wasn’t showing. He couldn’t have anything ruin his big day... His fake wedding photoshoot day.

       Even when the manager grabbed his elbow and guided him to the first set, Peter had stylists buzzing about him, setting pearl pins into his headband twist updo, setting in the veil, laying a silver and diamond bib necklace on his collarbone, yanking on his earlobes to put the pearl earrings in, spritzing hair product on his head.

          Because the weather decided to be a gloomy gray, the tech crew had set up soft lights along the wooden bridge. At the center stood the altar made of twisted birch wood and decorated with vines of white flowers and lamps with tea candles; stepping closer, Peter saw they were safely battery operated.

         Like the smooth tide of water, the manager marched off after delivering Peter to the altar and the photographer swooped in to nudge Peter onto the blue tape “X”. 

          “Alright, Mister Peter,” the baby-faced photographer -- Leo? Luis? Peter couldn’t remember and went with El -- said as he toyed with the settings on his camera. “Let’s start off with a couple test shots, and then some real ones with just you, okay? Look at the camera, and...”

          Even in the test shots, Peter had to give the camera something, even something as subtle as a tilted head, slightly lifted chin, or a faraway gaze with parted lips.

          El went through the last few shots, checking the lighting and angles and quality. “Excellent!” El exclaimed. He deleted the test shots and waved a worker over, who hurried to the altar to hand Peter the bouquet and hurriedly backed away. El raised the camera once more. “Alright, turn slightly to the left. A little more, a tad more...”

         Peter followed every direction. A demur gaze over the shoulder, a bold and full front-facing pose, a jutting of hips and emphasis of ass to show off the curvy fit of the dress, a “candid” moment of brushing aside a loose lock of hair. 

          “Pierre!” the manager called out as she made her return to the altar; Peter was about to correct her when he realized that she was talking to the photographer, and he was glad that the foundation on his face was laid on thick, because the way his face burned from not even being close to getting Pierre’s name right would have clashed awfully with the dress. “Burak’s ready!”

        El -- Pierre nodded and gestured for Peter to take a step back. Just like what he was subjected to, Peter saw that the supposed Burak was also swarmed with stylists fixing up the cream lapels of his white tuxedo. And the man was... huge. Okay, maybe it was the princely stride that made him seem gigantic, because he couldn’t have been more than 196 centimeters, and Peter has definitely met men taller than that even if he can count the number of them on one hand. But still, the way Burak took over the bridge like it was his catwalk, shoulders wide and sharp, grabbed Peter.

         It still didn’t prepare Peter for when the proximity between them closed, and he had to stand there, face-to-face, unguarded, in front of this...

         ...He didn’t want to say god, but when one stood before a man with a jaw so chiseled that they are willing to cut their palm just to touch it, and ink black hair in a neat and sweeping coif, warm honey skin that made the other person feel like warm honey inside, and amber eyes that made one feel like a cornered rabbit about to be devoured in the most thrilling way -- one became lost for words. 

          One became lost for breath, and Peter was surprised and relieved that when he said “Hi”, it didn’t come out in a choked, whimpering utterance.

         “Hello!” Burak said, and Peter forced himself to not imagine how such a deep voice would sound so lovely during pillow talk. He held a hand out. “You’re Peter, right?”

          “Yeah!” Peter said, taking the offered hand to shake. 

          “Introductions later!” Pierre called out. “Burak, take Peter’s hand and lift it up, give his knuckles a gentle kiss. Peter.”

         And the smile Burak gave behind Peter’s knuckle was too gentle, too unfairly divine, and Peter had two thoughts in that moment:

          He promised to turn away from atheism for the rest of his life if a god, any god out there, made sure his tucking underwear kept whatever erection he may have in check for the rest of this photoshoot.

          And he remembered that there was actual champagne on set. He was going to need some of it.

[harlstark]

here is an unpublished excerpt from my harley keener centric wip au (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23889949/chapters/57432955) in which harley comes out to pepper. this is unedited.

tags: angst, fluff, coming out, irondad, ironmom, ironson

word count: 1097

———

“Don’t worry Harley. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of girls lining up for you in school.” Pepper said innocently, patting his head as she walked by to the kitchen counter.

He laughed awkwardly. Had Tony forgotten he was... That, word? As in not liking girls? Did such a large factor of his life really manage to slip through the man’s mind? Pondering over such circumstance, Harley realized that the possibility of it wasn’t something he should worry over, as the hero had quite a large amount of information—lots of which was excruciatingly stress inducing, constantly on his plate. ‘It’s not his fault. Why should he even care in the first place about who Harley finds interest in?’

Breaking his concentration, said man rested a palm on Harley’s shoulder. “Oh, PG, I forgot there was something I wanted to show you.” He said, guiding the blonde boy out of the kitchen area and down a hallway.

“PG? Where’d you come up with that one.” He asked.

“Potato Gun. That, and the fact that you are the ironic opposite of PG. You swear like a damn sailor, and please, may I remind you, to try and keep that to a minimum once the baby arrives.” Tony requested, hands moving about in the slightest of ways.

‘Right... The baby.’ Harley thought. Of course he was ecstatic for the couple which had taken him in. They were about to be parents! However, that didn’t eradicate his anxiety-riddled feelings—which were then accompanied by guilt, of remembering that as much as they felt like parental figures to him, he wasn’t really their kid. He already felt like a replacement Peter often enough, that waiting for the baby to be born felt like a time bomb ready to end Harley’s existence—at least in his mentor’s heart. That, though, was a topic for another day (never if he had any say in fate).

“So um,” he cleared his throat. “what was it you wanted to show me?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to get out of Pepper’s earshot. I didn’t tell her kid.”

A confused expression planted itself on Harley’s face. “Tell her what?” He asked.

“When Pep mentioned your destiny to being a lady’s man-“

“She didn’t phrase it that way.”

“Zip zip! When she said what she did, you froze. She doesn’t know you’re not interested in girls, Harls.” The mechanic explained.

‘Oh.’ The boy thought. “You... Remembered?”

It was Tony’s turn then to grow on the perplexed look. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I remember everything about you. Or, well, I try to anyways. My memory can be fuzzy at times.”

“Probably because you’re old.” He retorted, earning a playful slap at his shoulder.

“Anyways,” the man continued with harmless ice to his words, “she doesn’t know because I didn’t tell her. Not my place to. Although I do have to say that if you did tell her, she’d accept you one-hundred percent.”

“H-How do you, how... How do you kn-know?” He questioned, nervous stutter making its appearance. He inwardly cursed himself.

“Well if she did have an issue I really doubt she’d be dating me.” Tony stated.

“What?”

“You know. The whole, dating app thing?” Tony alluded to, but with no avail as Harley remained clueless.

“Men, women, non-binary whatever I could care less. I...” The man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not straight either kid. Bi, pan, I-I don’t use a label but I’m not heterosexual. Pepper knows, and she legitimately couldn’t care less.” He explained to the stunned looking teenager.

“H-How come you never told me? I mean if you knew I’m...”

Tony huffed a laugh. “It’s pretty public info kiddo. Figured you already knew.”

“Oh...”

“Yeah ‘oh’.” He mimicked, ruffling the boy’s hair. “I’m not saying you have to tell her, by the way. I’m just saying that, if you want to, I promise it’d go well. It’s up to you who you tell and when. If you need help I’m here for you of course, always, but yeah. Wasn’t my place to tell your story without permission.”

At that, Harley smiled warmly at the man beside him.

“I’ll tell her.” He decided.

“Alright then. I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it.”

“I wanna tell her now.”

Oh. “Now? As in right this moment?”

The blonde nodded. “If I don’t do it now I don’t think I’d ever get the ba-“ Tony gave him a pointed look. “The courage, to do it another time. Can you be there with me?” He requested.

The man’s heart warmed at the inquiry. “Always.”

The two of them made their way back into the kitchen where Pepper had been snacking on some caramel covered raisins—a recent craving of hers.

“Hello boys, what was Tony showing you honey?” She asked, looking up from her Business Weekly magazine and bowl of raisins.

“Um...” Harley looked beside himself to Tony, who gave him a reassuring wink. “I-It’s about you said?”

The strawberry blonde gave a curious look.

“About uh, about girls being i-interested in me. It’s just t-that, I uh, I’m um... It’s just that there’s a l-l-little fact about me with that I kind of just, w...want... When people think abou-about who they see themselves with, u-usually it’s a guy and a girl or a g...girl and a g-guy but I- I’m-“ He couldn’t get the word off his tongue. The one word he had yet to say out loud even to himself. ‘Just say it Harley’ he criticized himself.

“You’re... Gay? Bisexual? Pansexual? Something el-“

“F-First one.” He confirmed, eyes watering slightly.

Pepper walked around the counter and placed her hands on Harley’s shoulders, looking at him with a soft grin before pulling him into a hug. After letting go, she spoke. “In that case, I retract my previous statement. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of boys lining up for you in school.” She said with a teasing wink.

“You can be the prime runner up for the position of genius billionaire playboy philanthropist two-point-oh.” Tony joked from where he stood.

Harley gave a light chuckle. “Ah shut up old man.”

Not even fighting back against the statement, Tony responded with “love ya too kiddo.”

It made them all freeze. Harley looked over at Tony who as staring holes in the back of his tight shut eyelids, which only opened when he felt the warmth of an embrace around his middle. There, Harley had gripped for him in a hug, his head resting upon Tony’s shoulder.

“I love you too.” He said gently. “Both of you.”

[bellarkes-things]

Choose 10 OTPs before reading the questions.

1. Clace (Clary×Jace, Shadowhunters)

2. Karamel (Kara×Mon-el, Supergirl)

3. Bellarke (Bellamy×Clarke, T100)

4. Stelena (Stefan×Bellamy, Tvd)

5. Handon (Hope×Landon, Legacies)

6. Pepperony (Pepper×Tony, Mcu)

7. Olicity (Oliver×Felicity, Arrow)

8. Nabrina (Nick×Sabrina, Caos)

9. SteveNat (Steve×Natasha, Mcu)

10. Echo (Max×Liz, RoswellNM)

What makes you ship 2?

Karamel are meant for each other ,Mon-el was kara's safe place,the one who was always in her corner no matter what and Kara was Mon-el's kryptonite who made him a better person.Also they are FREAKING ADORABLE.

Have you ever written a fanfiction/made a fanvid/drawn a fan art for 6?

Not yet ,I recently finished watching all the Marvel movies and these 2 have my heart. Nobody understands tony better than his best girl. Also their off spring(Morgan) is the cutest little human in the Mcu aside from their other off spring peter parker.

What pairing would you like to meet at a grocery store?

Clace, definitely Clace these 2 domestic cuties would made grocery shopping so much fun. Jace's humour makes everything better anyway🖤

Is 1 canon?

Yes they are. Although they were done dirty in the series finale and i will FOREVER BE BITTER ABOUT IT. Can you 2 just come back to me already 🥺

Which pairing have you shipped the longest?

Stelena .Tvd was the first show i ever watched and these 2 fit together so perfectly ,as klaus mikaelson once said 'crazy or not that kind of love never dies' no matter what happened they were endgame for me.

What is your favourite line of 4’s?

This.this line shows how much love stefan has for elena🥺

THIS LINE HAS ALL THE FEELS.

Has one person from 10 ever gotten jealous?

Yup Max was jealous of Liz dating kyle back in high school and it was ADORABLE.

What song makes you think of 5?

Probably Memories by maroon 5 ,i just think its really fitting because of the whole "memory" thing and also the lyrics are kind of made for these cuties. Can Landon just remember hope already.

Who tops in 9?

NATASHA ROMANOFF. My badass baby definitely tops.

Who bottoms in 8?

Why do i feel like its Nick ,hes just a softie when it comes to Sabrina so yup its probably Nick♡

Best moment between 7?

Oh god where do i begin these 2 have had so many beutiful moments but probably the flashback ep in season 5 when these reconcile but still dont get together ,Oliver is just so in love with Felicity.

Have you read any fanfiction about 3?

SO MANY . I've read a lot of fanfic about Bellarke ,every possible storyline. I am addicted to these 2. MY favourite are probably the enemy to friends with benefits to Lovers plot. Cliche 😬

Which ship gives you the most feels?

For me Clace has all the feels ,I have been a harcore shipper of these 2 for the past 2 and a half years ,I've laughed with them,I've cried with them so basically everything.

What makes 1 a good pairing?

Again, these 2 beautiful people have been through so much together and as themselves but the way the fot together is so heartbreakingly beautiful that I cant help but ship them😭

Do any of your friends/family ship 4?

Yup deifintely my sister basically stopped watching Tvd after Elena got together with Damon.

If it was a fight to the death between 5, 7 and 9 who would win?

I want to say Handon but obvio its gonna be SteveNat ,Hope has Magic but these 2 have dealt with far worse things and come out stronger than ever before, Also natasha romanoff is the strongest female in this entire universe so that is something🖤

What moment gives you the most feels for 2?

Probably the argument scene in 2×13 cause ven though they are arguing you can literally see the love and jealously pouring through them and they haven't even gotten together "together" at this point yet.

Have you ever cosplayed as part of 6? If not, would you want to?

Not yet .but I'm down for it like Oh hell yeah ,who wants to be the pepper to my tony, i think I'm probably way to sarcastic to be pepper so i'd probably be tony.

Have you ever read smut about 3?

Guilty....YES i have read a LOT of smut about bellarke probably cause I've read way too many fanfics about them😬🤭.

[shrimpkardashian]

I have a list of ~900 albums from 2019 that I still want to eventually listen to / review [IMPOSSIBLE PROJECT ALERT]

For this project (already 125+ releases deep), which is just impossibly daunting and makes me head hurt. IDK how to streamline this process or is any “critic” out there really listening to “all” the good music? It’s impossible I guess... BUT needless to say, these have made this list from an even larger pool of music that I either listened to briefly and immediately dismissed or (gasp!) never even came across my radar (radar = many many music blogs I follow via RSS). 

Anyway, because I’ll most likely never get to this (whatever this is, an Xgau parody or something)... Here is the list (please ignore some of my notations/typos):

1 matana roberts, coin coin chapter four 2 jeffrey lewis 3 negativland 4 camedor 5 the darkness 6 jai paul [leak] 7 shikoswe 8 anatolian weapons 9 cakedog, doggystyle 10 carly rae jepsen (LP, plus single w Gryffin) 11 parsnip 12 the comet is coming 13 girl in red 14 ezra furman 15 the kvb 16 freddie gibbs & madlib 17 say sue me (single) 18 denzel curry 19 fatamorgana 20 vivian girls 21 wobbly, monitress 22 helado negro 23 anamanaguchi 24 paul demarinis 25 comet gain 26 personal best 27 king princess, LP? big little lies single 28 marble arch 29 mini dresses 30 matt christensen 31 jade bird 32 black mountain 33 body meat 34 pat, Love Will Find A Way Home 35 acid arab 36 the 83rd 37 common holly 38 wicca phase 39 mark ronson 40 spirit in the room, single 41 rebe, “pienso en ti a todas horas” [just a single?] 42 a giant dog, neon bible cover LP 43 hey collosus 44 moon king (meh/ or *) 45 vanity productions 46 velvet negroni 47 g perico 48 budokan boys 49 skryptor 50 oscar scheller 51 the muffs 52 larry gus 53 these new puritans *** 54 angel olsen 55 bleu nuit 56 meatraffle 57 josephine wiggs 58 jennifer vanilla 59 big|brave 60 rico nasty 61 friendship, dreamin' 62 mike, tears of joy 63 bellrope 64 gbv 65 machìna, archipelago 66 toy, songs of consumption 67 ayankoko 68 the intelligence 69 drahla 70 corridor, junior 71 urochromes 72 david hasselhoff 73 aMAZONDOTCOM 74 kehlani 75 ne-hi EP (final) 76 avey tare 77 bonnie "prince" billy 78 battles 79 snapped ankles 80 mannequin pussy 81 toro y moi, soul trash 82 twen 83 self discovery for social survival comp 84 bad heaven ltd 85 eric frye 86 the mattson 2 87 duncan park 88 pure bathing culture 89 arthur russell, iowa dream 90 wild pink 91 flaming lips 92 pan amsterdam 93 flaural 94 knife wife 95 hannah peel & will burns 96 klein 97 meat puppets 98 tnght 99 james ferraro 100 royal trux / ariel pink 101 new rain duets 102 black marble 103 sui zhen 104 liam the younger 105 the mountain goats, welcome to passaic 106 frank hurricane and hurricanes of love 107 sebadoh 108 xylouris white 109 lindstrøm 110 franck vigroux 111 joyero 112 dorian electra  113 ride 114 crumb, jinx 115 nonconnah 116 cup, spinning creature 117 brutus 118 bjarki 119 khotin 120 alexander tucker 121 gunna 122 operator music band 123 tony molina 124 nanami ozone 125 sad planets 126 bemydelay 127 laurie anderson et al, songs from the bardo 128 teebs 129 deerhunter, timebends 130 tr/st (2 LPs) 131 dolores catherino 132 liturgy 133 floating points 134 sasami, LP + xmas EP 135 trikorder23 136 moor mother 137 have a nice life 138 la dispute 139 lingua ignota 140 lina tullgren 141 earl sweatshirt 142 entrail 143 alexander noice 144 shock narcotic 145 rakta 146 munya 147 el drugstore 148 buck gooter 149 caribou, single - more? 150 rosenau & sanborn 151 kevin abstract 152 pile 153 e for echo 154 animal collective, new psycho actives vol. 2 + live album 155 harlem 156 sudan archives 157 lil peep, posthumous ep 158 young guv, i and ii 159 orville peck 160 75 dollar bill 161 institute 162 tove lo 163 the chocolate watchband 164 foie gras, holy hell 165 french vanilla 166 chuck cleaver 167 kollaps 168 spirits having fun 169 game 170 badgirl$ 171 medhane 172 alberich 173 show me the body 174 the night watch, an embarrassment of riches 175 inus, western spaghettification 176 pregoblin, singles? 177 ra ra riot 178 de lorians 179 kool keith 180 kaspia & stride 181 glen hansard 182 dpeee 183 berlin taxi 184 foghorn 185 ionnalee 186 american sharks 187 sitcom, dust single 188 pip blom 189 j balvin & bady 190 fenella 191 tanya tagaq 192 sean o'hagan 193 j robbins 194 peter ivers (comp) 195 neon indian, not sure if single is part of larger proj? 196 triad god 197 yeule 198 roland tings 199 schoolboy q 200 ava luna EP 201 fried eggs 202 drugdealer 203 half japanese 204 todd anderson-kunert 205 emily reo 206 christelle bofale 207 brion starr 208 jan jelinek (reissue) 209 peaer 210 devin townsend 211 vik 212 young m.a 213 default genders 214 night lovell 215 rocketship 216 kim gordon 217 ellen arkbro 218 george clanton and nick hexum [single?] 219 the minus 5 220 penguin cage 221 felicia atkinson 222 take offense 223 moon duo 224 chemical brothers 225 nef the pharaoh 226 daniel norgren 227 unkle 228 pup (?) 229 baroness 230 velvet bethany 231 resavoir 232 gruff rhys 233 lana del ray 234 empath 235 burial and the bug, flame 2 236 russian baths 237 quelle chris 238 corpse flower 239 roy montgomery [reissue] 240 clinic 241 a.g. cook, [single] 242 why? 243 beck 244 francis lung 245 thom yorke 246 warmduscher 247 uv-tv 248 aa bondy 249 max richter, ad astra ost 250 younghusband 251 stereo total 252 julie's haircut 253 aa matheson 254 eartheater 255 kelly moran 256 mana (seven steps behind) 257 c.h.e.w. 258 sarah mary chadwick 259 midsommar ost 260 beabadoobee 261 life, a picture of good health 262 dumb, club nites 263 dame dolla 264 endless boogie 265 burna boy 266 lungbutter 267 wand 268 future punx 269 yves jarvis 270 kim petras [LP, halloween EP] 271 bts world 272 pikelet 273 panda bear, single 274 samiyam 275 red river dialect 276 ryan pollie 277 ryuichi sakamot (reissue) 278 jackie mendoza 279 dark blue 280 jay som 281 stephen mallinder 282 neutrals, kebab disco 283 foodman 284 capitol, dream noise 285 new pornographers 286 mark korven, the lighthouse ost 287 gauche 288 the japanese house 289 cave (re-issue) 290 ybn cordae 291 the vacant lots 292 arwen 293 rhucle 294 lil b, @ least 2 releases? 295 tea service 296 chai 297 black pumas 298 program, show me 299 marika hackman 300 sonny and the sunsets 301 lillie mae 302 mean jeans 303 the stroppies 304 poppies 305 twin shadow 306 vanishing twin *** 307 portrayal of guilt [EP + split single] 308 lucki [2 lps] 309 absolutely free 310 girl band 311 black midi 312 torche 313 perfume (best of) 314 white denim 315 clipping 316 the hu 317 big business 318 metro crowd 319 ex-vöid, 7" 320 broken social scene 321 lil pump 322 uranium club 323 doon kanda 324 hesitation wounds 325 sorry girls 326 bibio 327 red mass 328 the shins, single 329 lil keed 330 yeasayer 331 bts / blackpink KPOP 332 galen tipton, fake meat 333 the world, reddish 334 lanark artefax, ep 335 ladytron 336 g.s., schray 337 just mustard [single, more?] 338 mdou moctar 339 rangers, spirited discussion 340 tyson meade 341 dj nate 342 kelly lee owens 343 bambara 344 kilo kish 345 lusine 346 ralph heidel / homo ludens 347 psychic graveyard 348 homeshake 349 wives, so removed 350 proto idiot 351 let’s eat grandma, ost ep 352 foals 353 caroline shaw & attacca quartet 354 juan waters 355 mount eerie with julie doiron 356 mestozi 357 patio 358 oh baby, the art of sleeping alone 359 earth 360 haybaby 361 anna meredith 362 the caretaker (6) 363 rich brian 364 sunn o))), [two LPs] 365 alessandro cortini 366 ty segall 367 injury reserve 368 elucid 369 budos band 370 tim hecker 371 waqwaq kingdom 372 william doyle *** 373 innercity ensemble 374 filthy friends 375 prurient 376 shlohmo 377 bon iver 378 sean henry 379 yeesh 380 faye webster 381 megan thee stallion 382 squid, town centre 383 simulation (hausau mountain) 384 flying lotus 385 horse jumper of love 386 rap, export 387 lansky jones 388 the gonks 389 cate lebon 390 rome fortune 391 chain cult 392 empty set 393 big thief (2 lp's) 394 laura cannell [and polly wright album ?] or is there just a laura c album too ? }} 395 froth 396 thugwidow 397 organ tapes 398 the new pornographers 399 zonal 400 bbg baby joe 401 whitney 402 guards 403 anemone 404 sheer mag 405 nots 406 fujiya & miyag 407 kool aid, family portrait ep 408 frankie cosmos 409 kaputt 410 quelle chris 411 operators 412 marco benevento 413 elvis depressedly 414 school of language, 45 415 rob burger 416 pozi 417 redd kross 418 randy randall 419 yatta 420 hide, hell is here 421 bobby krlic, midsommar ost 422 planet england 423 kev brown 424 robedoor 425 tropical fuck storm 426 haram, 9/11 ep 427 candy, super-stare single 428 sly and the family drone 429 kevin morby 430 porches, rangerover [single] 431 odae 432 pottery 433 saint pepsi 434 slowthai 435 iggy pop 436 swans 437 iLOVEMAKONNEN 438 mukqs 439 feels 440 luke temple 441 oli xl 442 orphan swords 443 post pink 444 deli girls 445 nilüfer yanya 446 idk, is he real? 447 interpol 448 priests 449 galcher lustwerk 450 smokepurpp, various? 451 kindness 452 ex hex 453 sampa the great 454 methyl ethel 455 ellis, the fuzz ep 456 jeanines s/t 457 water from your eyes 458 twin peaks 459 sam cohen 460 fontaines dc 461 spiral stairs 462 the hecks 463 nicola ratti 464 four tet, various (inc. "wingdings" alter ego side proj) 465 holy ghost 466 half stack 467 cherubs 468 juana molina, forfun EP 469 jpegmafia 470 bedouine 471 fury 472 melvins/flipper 473 the curls 474 izambard 475 heart eyes 476 drinking boys and girls choir 477 big search 478 glenn branca 479 rose elinor dougall 480 bat for lashes 481 young knives, [single, more? 482 hot chip 483 alex lahey 484 hemlock ernst & kenny segal 485 dj seinfeld 486 joni void 487 rema rema 488 spencer tweedy 489 trash kit 490 dry cleaning [2 ep's] 491 mega bog *** 492 saudade 493 monster rally 494 wilco 495 chromatics, LP + EP 496 slayyyter 497 maral 498 blarf 499 pernice brothers 500 la neve 501 marie davidson 502 tredici bacci 503 deathprod 504 lowly 505 russian circles 506 angel witch 507 fires were shot 508 amy o 509 q da fool 510 clams casino 511 automelodi 512 paradox 513 dababy (2) 514 david kilgour 515 missy elliot 516 baby smoove 517 boris 518 thanks for coming 519 yves tumor [single w/] 520 ΜΜΜΔ 521 falcon/falkland 522 noel wells 523 ecstatic vision 524 amyl & the sniffers 525 barrie 526 bianca scout 527 katie dey 528 prince rama 529 control top 530 duster, comp + new LP 531 foxes in fiction 532 slowthai x denzel curry [single] 533 the murlocs 534 plaid 535 ela orleans 536 gobby 537 cfm 538 carla del forna 539 pale spring 540 pixx 541 širom 542 lightning bolt 543 cate lebon & deerhunter 544 channel tres 545 sigrid 546 help, s/t 547 shellac, live 548 crack cloud, pain olympics (ongoing) / s/t (2018) 549 notes underground 550 fat white family *** 551 gloop 552 equiknoxx 553 nakhane 554 czarface meets ghostface 555 the rubinoos 556 shannon lay 557 tim heidecker 558 droneflower 559 john vanderslice 560 your old droog 561 bats, alter nature 562 zvi 563 justus proffit 564 lower dens 565 anna of the north 566 yg 567 holly herndon 568 good fuck 569 clark, single 570 charli xcx 571 the nativist 572 low life 573 jonsi & alex somers 574 kazu 575 günter schickert 576 odonis odonis 577 kelsey lu (+ remix EP) 578 young thug 579 thaiboy digital 580 hatchie 581 hiro kone 582 cocorosie 583 sabiwa 584 oh sees 585 rex orange county 586 311 587 erland cooper 588 jtamul 589 the brilliant tabernacle 590 free love, extreme dance anthems 591 jeff lynne's elo 592 dutch courage 593 booji boys 594 giggs 595 ceschi 596 inter arma 597 psychic sounds ensemble 598 eli kezsler EP 599 thelma 600 haiku salut 601 julia jacklin 602 otoboke beaver 603 colin self 604 mark mulcahy 605 rosalia, single "a pale" more? 606 chris lott 607 royal trux 608 weyes blood 609 mikal cronin 610 hissing tiles 611 grace ives 612 vic bang 613 nick cave 614 sugar world [single] 615 herzog 616 offset 617 mike adams at his honest weight 618 real life buildings 619 aldous harding 620 pye corner audio 621 doja cat 622 bleached 623 book of shame 624 kate davis 625 i was a king 626 pendant, through a coil 627 joseph arthur 628 great grandpa, four of arrows 629 modern nature 630 stef chura 631 spaza, s/t great 632 the alchemist 633 pond 634 aiden baker, etc 635 kirin j. Callinan 636 possible humans 637 greys 638 kizuna ai 639 little simz 640 big bend 641 membranes, what nature gives… 642 young nudy 643 car seat headrest (live) 644 seahawks 645 dumbhop's party 646 julien chang 647 pacific yew 648 pharmakon 649 lomelda 650 versing 651 olden yolk 652 mekons 653 the dream syndicate 654 the gotobeds 655 amy klein 656 bABii 657 bill callahan 658 grlwood 659 van dale 660 ziúr 661 delicate steve 662 debby friday 663 dehd 664 south city hardware 665 kesha 666 (sandy) alex g 667 computer slime 668 fka twigs 669 rob halford, celestial 670 dean hurley 671 school of language 672 nicolas godin 673 blue hawaii 674 leggy 675 ceremony 676 his name is alive 677 third eye blind 678 sadgirl 679 ariana grande 680 skepta 681 dylan moon 682 jay mitta 683 the drums 684 kero kero bonito, ep 685 charly bliss 686 lee renaldo etc 687 rina mushonga 688 ulla straus 689 cherushii & maria minerva 690 slaughter beach, dog 691 maps 692 dj shadow 693 tool LOL 694 diiv 695 pixies 696 cuco 697 black peaches 698 subhumans 699 gurr 700 cashmere cat 701 brockhampton 702 fire-toolz 703 lambchop, LP + EP 704 messthetics 705 neuland 706 westkust 707 haelos 708 sturgill simpson 709 maria usbeck 710 king gizzard (2) 711 earthgang 712 paranoid london 713 fet.nat 714 bethlehem steel 715 neil young with crazy horse 716 tengger 717 guerilla toss 718 spelling 719 lizzo 720 wiki 721 dr00p, mkULTRAHD 722 ghost orchard 723 jane weaver 724 usa/mexico 725 carl stone 726 richard dawson *** 727 rafael toral 728 test dept 729 sacred paws 730 big krit 731 mallrat 732 jenn champion 733 moE/Mette Rasmussen, tolerancia picante 734 facs 735 yung lean, single (blue cup) and ep, more? 736 pissgrave 737 moodyman 738 sing sinck, sing 739 tyler the creator 740 sleater-kinney 741 dean blunt, zushi 742 cursive 743 barker, utlity 744 gemma 745 octavian 746 pronoun 747 girl ray 748 julia shapiro 749 nodding god 750 daniel saylor 751 jakob ogawa 752 richard youngs 753 diät 754 w00dy 755 omar souleyman 756 vōx EP 757 topdown dialectic 758 penelope islea 759 gbv 760 glass beach 761 james hoff, hobo ufo 762 euglossine 763 dream ritual 764 terry allen 765 office culture 766 ghostie, devour 767 beat detectives 768 red channel 769 octo octa 770 julien baker [toyko single] 771 shackleton as "tunes of negation" 772 sons of raphael 773 lena raine 774 fitted, first fits 775 velf 776 cvn 777 black country, new road, [2 singles only?] 778 chief keef 779 andrew bird, LP and EP 780 tamaryn 781 vagabon 782 zelooperz 783 brian jonestown massacre 784 angel dust 785 pere ubu 786 vatican shadow, church... 787 spencer radcliffe 788 mr muthafuckin exquire 789 earth to mickey 790 beak> 791 byron westbrook 792 major murphy 793 nicole yun 794 the divine comedy 795 sote, parallel persiao 796 the radio dept. 797 prince daddy & the hyena 798 mudhoney 799 truth club 800 shura 801 underworld, drift 802 lil texas 803 that dog 804 gary wilson / r. stevie moore 805 divino nino 806 spiral heads 807 claire cronin 808 devendra banhart 809 c.y.m. EP 810 dude york 811 sangri 812 vegyn [2 lp's?] 813 brooke candy 814 caroline polachek 815 hurt valley 816 O.L.I.V.I.A, modo avion 817 ziúr 818 pepper mill rondo, it's christmas time 819 ben vida 820 nick hexum/george clanton 821 meara o'reilly 822 tyler holmes, devil 823 blood incantation 824 guenter schlienz 825 gavilán rayna russom 826 loraine james *** 827 lithics, Wendy Kraemer EP 828 navel, ambient 2, in space 829 the proper ornaments 830 jon hopkins & kelly lee owens, single 831 julianna barwick 832 park hye-jin 833 bea1991 834 men i trust 835 erika de casier 836 ducks unlimited 837 lyzza 838 refused 839 jim o'rourke, to magnetize ... 840 analemma, 2 singles on a comp? 841 zack fox, "the bean kicked in" 842 real life rock n roll band 843 prefab sprout 844 daniel lopatin, uncut gems ost 845 kaytranada 846 the voidz, 2 song single + video? 847 grandaddy, single (add scissors icon) 848 dark thoughts, must be nice 849 loose nukes 850 sam mallet 851 very good, adulthood 852 henge, nothing head 853 kaleidobolt 854 nebula, holy shit 855 terminal cheesecake 856 uzeda 857 wet tuna 858 sean mccann 859 black dresses, love and... (2nd LP) 860 nefew 861 taylor swift ??? 862 lala lala, the lamb 863 jenny lewis 864 33EMYBW 865 blood orange, angel's pulse 866 caterina barbieri *** 867 yusu 868 white reaper 869 rozi plain 870 bamboo, daughters of the sky 871 seragina steer 872 clear channel, hot fruit 873 patience, dizzy spells 874 mope grooves, desire 875 current affairs, object & subject 875 comfort, not passing 876 bill orcutt 877 bonnie baxter 878 carl stone 879 thurston moore 880 alameda 5 881 john zorn 882 the membranes, what nature gives... 883 meemo comma 884 ana roxannne 885 whistling arrow, s/t 886 dis fantasy 887 giant swan, s/t 888 buck young, buck ii 889 abdu ali 890 ifriqiyya électrique 891 $hit and $hine, doing drugs, selling drugs 892 ghold 893 theon cross 894 yao bobby & simon grab 895 solange *sure whatever ok 896 the comet is coming 897 the utopia strong, s/t 898 karenn, grapefruit regret 899 brìghde chaimbeul 900 nav, bad habits 901 chance, big day 902 nostalgia critic's the wall 903 uboa, the origin of my depression 904 hobo johnson 905 ana frango elétrico 906 dorian electra

[elevatorsnot-worthy]

Just A Little Chaotic (Chapter 9)

CHAPTER 9 - LOOK AT WHERE WE ARE

Description: Alison, a singer-songwriter and an actress, finds herself in a middle of a chaotic set up with two of her cast mates. One’s a new face and one’s an old friend.

Pairings: Chris Evans x OFC x Sebastian Stan

Warnings: Language

Just A Little Chaotic (All Chapters)

After filming my scenes for the second Captain America movie, I went straight back to the studio to do my second album. Chris and I would have Skype dates since he’s back in Cleveland still shooting the movie. I drowned myself in music as I try my best not to miss him. The sound of the piano just became my way to express my feelings for him since he is miles away from me.

Miles apart and it’s driving me crazy,

Your eyes are all that I see,

The stars will show that I will be –

Waiting, searching, loving only you

I made sure I gave all my emotions with every word and every note. I closed my eyes as I sang to the microphone. I imagined as if I was singing to Chris. As soon as I finished recording I sat on the couch to rest. My brother and I have been in the studio since 7am and it’s already almost midnight. I took my phone out from my pocket to see if I have any messages from Chris.

“Chris still hasn’t message you yet?” he asked as he takes a swig from his beer. I just shook my head and put my phone down on the coffee table. Adam was finalizing the mix for the song number three that we recorded today. I started to worry since Chris would always call or text me even when he is at work.

“Maybe he was really busy and really tired.” I sighed. “By the way, have you talked to Seb?” I asked my brother, trying to worry about something else. Sebastian was distant again since the last time we talked on set. I tried calling him, but he wouldn’t answer.

“Yeah, we talked yesterday. What’s up?” Adam turn around from his swivel chair and faced me.

“I don’t know, he’s been avoiding me,” I answered him. “Ever since I dated Chris, he’s been acting weird but they’re friends, so I didn’t understand why he’s been avoiding me.”

“Well you’re dating his friend, maybe he’s weirded out or he’s just busy…” Adam suggested.

“I don’t know, man.” I shook my head and stood up from the couch to get a bottle of beer from the mini fridge in the corner of the room.

“And you know Sebastian, he’s like that sometimes.” He explained. “He’s always been protective of you. You know, I’m not saying Chris is a bad guy, I really like him, but maybe because he’s like a new person in your life.”

“But he’s not a jackass like Peter.” I said as I took a sip from my freshly opened beer.

“Yeah,” Adam nodded in response and stood up from his chair. He reached out for a toast and said, “Let’s just hope for the best, right?”

My brother and I spent the next hours in polishing the songs we recorded the whole day. Chris still hasn’t texted or called me yet. 2am rolled in and Adam and I called it a day. As we were cleaning up, we hear a sudden knock on the door. I went and opened the door and it was Chris with a handful of baggage in his hands.

“Hi babe,” Chris smiled as he entered the studio. I jumped up to him and gave him a big hug. “Sorry I didn’t call, I wanted to surprise you.” I looked up to him and his eyes looked really tired.

“I thought you’re still in Cleveland.” I said as I helped him with his bags.

“Well we changed locations and we’ll shoot here in LA this week.” He explained as I lead him to the couch. “So as soon as I got off the plane, I went straight to you.”

“I love you, babe.” I kissed him on the lips. “Well, Adam and I are just cleaning up. You just rest there and then we’ll go home.”

After a couple of minutes Adam helped Chris and I to load his luggage in my car. Adam went and drove off on his own car since he’ll be coming home to the apartment he recently got with Eloise. Chris agreed that he’ll stay at my house for now. As we got in the car, Chris immediately noticed the brown teddy bear on the front passenger’s seat.

“Is this yours?” he asked as he got the stuffed animal and sat on the seat.

“Yeah, why?” I asked him nonchalantly as closed the door.

“Who gave this to you?” he asked.

“Sebastian gave it to me as a congratulatory gift for my tour, he went to the San Diego show.” I explained, and I can see the annoyance in Chris’ face. “He knows I like stuffed toys when I was a kid.” I got the toy from his hands and threw it in the backseat.

“I didn’t know that.” He muttered sarcastically to himself.

“What?” I looked at him as I started the engine.

“I didn’t know that he gave you that.” He said as he tries to avoid eye contact with me.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve forgot about it.” I apologized. I started to drive out of the parking area and Chris just became quiet. It was just the sound of the wheels running on the ground and the ambiance around us. “Are you mad at me? Because if you are, you know, it’s nothing to me. If you want me to throw away the toy, then fine. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a congratulatory gift.” I said as I tried to make Chris talk.

“No, don’t throw it away. it just annoys me that you’re close—”

“What I can’t have friends?” I snapped at him.

“No, it’s just you guys are really close, and I saw how Sebastian looks at you and how he talked about you before.”  He explained. “Why are you all defensive?”

“Because you always act like you don’t believe me! How many times do I have to tell you, Chris? We are just friends. If he has feelings for me, I don’t care, we are just friends.” I was starting to get annoyed. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I do but I can’t help to be jealous, you had a whole life with him.” He said.

“We were just roommates! It’s not like we dated!” I raised my voice at him because I was getting really frustrated. “We were just roommates. In fact, we lived in three-bedroom apartment in Lower Manhattan – quite spacious actually. What else do you wanna know?” I burst out.

Chris did not answer, and it was dead silence between us as we drive back to my house. The short drive felt like it lasted for hours. I focused myself on driving as soon as I parked the car on the driveway of my house, Chris held my hand.

“Babe, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way. It was stupid of me. I was a little insecure and it was really childish of me to act so possessive. I just really want you to be for myself because you’re really important to me. I love you, Ali. So much.” He apologized. “I get so anxious that I’ll mess this up, do something idiotic and you’ll run off with someone else.”

“Chris,” I sighed, and I faced him. “Don’t be anxious baby, we’ll be okay. I love you. I won’t run, I’ll always be here.” Chris just nodded and kissed me. Since it was already really late, Chris and I just unloaded his luggage, left it in my room and went straight to bed.

***

Our relationship kept going stronger, it was easy for us to keep things quiet since we were both busy. He would visit me in the studio or I would visit him on set. We would go out on dinner dates, but we were lucky that we haven’t been spotted by the paparazzi or by fans. We were kind of domestic, since we spent most of our free times at home just relaxing, binge-watching, playing music, or cooking. Chris would even sometimes help me in writing music for my album.

Sebastian on the other hand was still a little distant. We would talk sometimes and catch up on what’s happening in our lives. He said that he’s dating a girl now. I still haven’t met her, but he said she’s somebody he met a while back. He sounded happy when he was talking about her and I felt happy for him.

It was the night of the Winter Soldier premiere and I was initially not going to keep my cameo a secret, but Chris wanted to me to be his date. Brandon finally let me go out in public with Chris, he thinks that it is a good move that we would go to the premiere together. It still annoyed me that everything has to be business though Chris and I just ignore him whenever he tries to control us.

Chris and I arrived at the El Capitan Theatre, and the sea of fans overwhelmed me when I stepped on the red carpet. I immediately turned on my extra playfulness to compensate with my nervousness. I was wearing a short form fitting baby blue dress to somewhat match Chris’ navy blue suit. I held on to Chris’ arms as we walked down the red carpet. I would wave at the fans and smile at everyone.

I would let Chris do his interviews alone since we would avoid the awkward “are you dating?” questions. While waiting for Chris to finish an interview, I felt a hand on my waist.  It was Sebastian in an all black suit. He greeted me with a tight hug and a kiss on my cheek.

“Ali, I missed you.” He said. “I’m sorry if I was acting weird before, I was afraid that it’ll be like Peter all over again – but hey, we’re talking about Chris, he’s a good man.” It was a relief to hear those words from him.

“It’s okay, Seb. Anyway, how’s your girlfriend? Did you bring her here?” I asked him.

“No, I like to keep in on the DL, for now.” He answered.

“Well, I look forward to meet her soon.” I said. Finally, we were back where we were always at. Both of us have our own relationships and supporting each other.

“Seems like you guys are finally going public.” he commented.

“Yeah, but we’re not going to make a huge deal about it. We kinda got tired of hiding so we agreed to slowly let the people know.” I explained. ��Plus, it feels kinda nice to be shown off.”

“I’m pretty sure any man, you know, that’s dating you would gladly show you off. I mean, come on Ali! Look at you!” he beamed as he motioned to my dress. “I don’t know how you do it, man. You always look better and better.” Now Sebastian’s starting to sound like the Sebastian I knew.

“Well you look great tonight, too. Real sexy.” I said because I know he’ll immediately blush. Sebastian giggled uncontrollably while looking down on the floor. “For real, Seb. You look great and I’m so proud of you. The movie’s fucking named after you.”

“Thanks, Ali.” He smiled. “I’m proud of you too, you know. Your career’s just getting bigger and bigger. I remember back then when you would write songs at midnight and wake me and Adam.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry.” I laughed.

“But it’s all worth it. To see you where you are right now with your career... and your love life.” Sebastian cooed. “I really am happy for you.”

Chris walked towards us after finishing his interview. He greeted Sebastian with a hug then he placed a hand on my waist. “Hey man, you look great tonight!” Chris patted Sebastian’s shoulder. “You excited?”

“Yeah, it feels all surreal to me still.” Sebastian shook his head in disbelief. “Feels like a dream.”

“I’m proud of you, guys.” I can’t help but to join in their conversation. I reached up to the both of them and gave them a hug. My best friend and the love of my life both in my arms. I was happy, ecstatic even. We were interrupted by one of the ushers telling us that we must go in the theater. Both of them offered their arms for me to hold on to and I reached for the both of them.

“I love you, babe.” I smiled at Chris who’s on my left as the three of us walked towards the theater.

“I love you too.” he smiled back and kissed my forehead. It was all finally okay. Chris wasn’t jealous of Sebastian anymore. Sebastian doesn’t walk out on me when Chris is with me. It was all good. Or so I thought. I looked up at Sebastian and he was looking at me with that sad smile and he mouthed to me something I’ve heard from him a million times but tonight it struck differently.

“I love you.”

Tag list: @everything-is-awesomesauce @supernatural-girl97 @patzammit  @nugget-barnes

[wiener-soldiers]

love is for idiots - peter parker

summary: You have been alone all your life, and from a young age, you learned that love doesn’t exist. However, as soon as you met Peter Parker, you learned to love again.

pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

words: 2,477 (goddamn that’s a long one)

warnings: kinda agsty, kinda fluffy, couple of swears, my really bad spanish skills (I SPEAK FRENCH STILL LEARNING SPANISH) also first fic so there’s that

a/n: guys i did it. first ever fic. i don’t know if y’all will hate it or love it, but it was so much fun to write. ALSO THERES AN IN THE HEIGHTS REFERENCE.

You didn't need love.

You were an independent person who didn’t need to feel satisfied by having someone love you.

You were strong, independent, and brave.

That's what you told yourself everyday when you looked in the mirror.

Truth be told, you lied to yourself everyday. Everybody needed somebody, but you just weren't used to that. With your mom out of the picture, and your dad always gone for work, you had convinced yourself that love was for the weak.

You just never realised how emotionally weak you actually were.

"Hey sweetheart. It's me, dad. I, uh, I don't know that I'll be home in time for your birthday. Work has been crazy as hell. I'm actually flying out to D.C. tonight for a conference, then I'm going over to Paris for another convention. I'm so sorry baby, I'll talk to as soon as I can."

A loud beep follows the end of the voicemail.

This has been the third voicemail this week from your dad saying that he might not be able to come home as soon as you thought. First, it was a convention in Dubai, then a lecture at MIT, and finally this one.

Rolling out of your bed, you shiver as your feet come in contact with the cold hardwood floors. It was a chilly Tuesday morning, which was the norm in New York City during the spring. You shrug it off, knowing that it was an amazing excuse to wear comfortable clothes.

Deciding that a pair of boyfriend jeans rolled up a couple times and a white NASA tee tied in the front was decent enough, you hastily comb through your (Y/H/C) hair with your fingers and trudge into the kitchen, wear Kevin, your uncle was waiting.

"Morning Kev," you mumble midway through a yawn. Ever since your Dad started going on extended work trips, your uncle Kev, who lived an hour away, give or take, would always take care of you.

"Well, buenos días to you mi amor," Kev says sleepily.

You scoff. "You're practising Spanish for that guy again, what's his name...Michael?"

"Miguel, el cariño, his name is Miguel. And he's single."

You smile slightly. "Love isn't real, Kev."

He rolls his eyes playfully as he hands me a granola bar, "Wow. Is that you or your teenage angst talking?"

You narrow your eyes at him as you snatch the bar from his hands. Slipping on some black Vans, you call back, "That's me talking. Bye Kev! Good look with Miguel...I guess."

You speed walk down the stairs of the subway station and barely make it to your train. You glance at your surroundings and see that the only empty seat is next to a boy, probably your age. Huffing slightly, you walk over and stand in front of him, preparing to ask if the seat is taken.

His earbuds are in and his eyes are closed, so you decide to just sit down next to him. The noise must have woken him up because mystery boy jolts up, ripping his earbuds from his ears. You giggle.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." For the first time, you get a good look at him. With his brown hair, dark brown eyes, and his obvious liking for music, you deem him kinda cute.

He smiles, "It's totally fine. I shouldn't have been dosing off anyways."

He's smooth, you think to yourself, very composed.

However the brunette was freaking out. A very, very pretty girl just happened to walk into the Subway car with one seat open, which just happened to be the seat next to his. He was so distracted by your blinding beauty, he didn't realise you had asked him another question until he realised that you were staring straight into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

You laugh, "I said how did you even hear me sit down? You had earbuds in and it's pretty noisy in here, regardless."

The boy freezes, knowing if he slips up, his identity might be revealed. From that question alone, he can tell that you’re smart, and that a girl like you would easily find out his secret.

"I uh, you just, uh, you just hit my arm accidentally," he blurts out.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! First I wake you up, then I hit you? I'm so sorry," you squeak, a blush beginning to come up your neck and cheeks.

"It's all good. I'm Peter by the way. Peter Parker," Peter says, sticking his hand out to shake.

You smile in return, sticking your hand in Peter's to shake. You let your hand linger on his, oddly finding a form of comfort in his touch.

"(Y/N) at your service."

And that was the start to something beautiful.

After riding the Subway to school together, (you had learned that you went to the same school and were shocked that you've never met before) you and Peter had become inseparable. The two of you would embark on adventures, which basically consisted in going off campus for lunch and finding the best spots in town, and the best bodegas to eat in. Ned, who completed your version of the modern day, American Golden Trio, always teased you that one day you and Peter would get married, and have children; to which you would always reply with:

"I told you guys, love is for--"

"For idiots, we get it." Peter interrupts with a small smile on his face. Deep down though, he felt his heart tear a little.

Faster than he'd liked to admit, Peter had fallen in love with you. Well, not really. He is still falling in love with you. Every second of every day, Peter Parker falls more and more in love with you. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was soulmates, but Peter didn't care. He didn't wanna risk scaring you away. He already knew that you believed that love was absolute bullshit, and he knew that his friendship with you was far more valuable than saying "I love you" to the girl who didn't believe in love.

On the day’s latest adventure, you and Peter had planned to go to a little bodega in Washington Heights. Both of you were aware that it was more than an hour ride on the subway, but you both knew it was a great way to explore the city, and you had also insisted that the bodega had the best coffee and sandwiches you had ever tasted.

With only one period left to go, you raced to your English class excitedly. Bursting into the classroom, which was on the other side of the building from your last class, you let out a huff as you sit beside Peter, who shared the class with you.

"How'd you get here so fast?" he asks with an amused look on his face.

"Oh, don't look so smug. I ran. Yes, that's right, you heard me. Actual physical exercise," you retort. Peter throws his head back in laughter. You pout, fake punching him in the arm.

"Aw, boohoo. Is little (Y/N) winded by a little running?" Flash Thompson, aka the biggest douche in the school, taunts from the back of the class.

Peter's face contorts, and is about to defend the beautiful girl sitting beside him, but said girl beats him to it.

"Oh, shut up. Your nickname might be 'Flash', dickwad, but you do Barry Allen no justice. Don't think I was the only one who saw you fake an injury to get out of the mile run."

The class let's out a series of 'ohs' and 'damns', (most of them coming from Flash's friends) while you turn around with a smirk etched on your face. Peter smiles out  you, with eyes filled with adoration. One thing he learned was that you could always stand up for yourself.

The teacher walks into the class and attempts to settle down the noise. Peter steals another glance at you, nose deep in To Kill A Mockingbird and already working on the book report due soon.

After an uneventful rest of the period, the final bell rang, and you and Peter were out of the classroom faster than you could say 'bodega'. The duo were on the Subway as soon as possible as the chatted about the day’s latest events.

"So," you stated, "Homecoming is coming up."

Peter laughs, a little too loudly, and almost chokes on the Boba they had bought before they hopped on the train. You attempt to shush him as people were beginning to stare.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just, when did you care about Homecoming? I though we were gonna binge watch Lord of the Rings together that weekend. Besides, it's in like, what, three months?" He replies.

You shake your head. "Peter, I'm serious. Who is she?"

Peter nearly spits out his tea. "What?"

"The girl, Parker! The one I hear you and Ned talk about when you think I'm not listening." You retort. A part of you wants your best friend to go to Homecoming with the mystery girl, happy. But the other part of you wants Peter to go to Homecoming with you.

Peter coughs. "It's no one, I swear."

"Well," you start, "do I know her?"

Peter hesitates. "You do actually. You know her really well."

"Really?" you say in disbelief. You couldn't think of many people. The first name that popped into your head was MJ. Or maybe Liz Allan. "What's she like?"

"Well, she's smart. Like ridiculously smart. Smarter than me, even. She's funny, in her own way. Like sarcastic, satirical humour. She also really like reading. Um...she can definitely stand up for herself and hold her own. Very confident. And she's beautiful," Peter gushes.

"Hmm," you say in shock. Logically, you think he's talking about Liz Allan, one of the most popular girls at school. But once again, your mind drifts to the thought of being with Peter. What it would be like to hold his hand, hug him, and kiss him. It sounded wonderful.

"(Y/N), did you hear me?"

Your realise that Peter is nudging your arm. "What?"

"I said this is our stop. C'mon. I'm getting hungry and you said this place had good sandwiches." Peter grabs your hand and pulls you out of the Subway car, throwing your empty Boba cups in the trash can as you walk by. He doesn't let go of your hand as you march up the stairs and exit the station, and walk the streets that alive with salsa music and great smelling food.

"So, where is it again?" Peter asks, only now becoming conscious that he was still holding your hand. His grip falters a little, not knowing if you were freaked out, but to his surprise, you squeezed his hand a little tighter, enjoying the feeling of his fingers caressing yours.

You blush a little, "It's just up the street. It's beside this salon and has a beautiful mural on the side of the building. Oh! It's right there,” You explain while pointing to a bodega at the end of the street.

The two of you step inside to the small bodega, greeted by the smell of fresh coffee.

"Well, if it isn't (Y/N). How ya doin', mi amor?" the dude at the cash whistles. You roll your eyes and are about to respond to his antics when Usnavi, the bodega owner, walks in from the back room.

"Cut that out Sonny. I'm serious. You ain't gonna pick up girls with that attitude. Besides, (Y/N) seems to have a niño with her," Usnavi says.

"Usnavi!" you cry in embarrassment.

He laughs, "Lo siento, (Y/N). Two sandwiches, I'm guessing?"

"And two coffees!" Peter calls out beside you, "I hear that you have the best coffee in all of Washington Heights?"

The man lets out a laugh. Peter finds himself laughing along. He kinda liked it in the Heights.

"Si, señor. Whatever the lady says."

As they wait for their sandwiches, you realise you haven't introduced Peter to your Latino friends. "Oh! Peter, by the way. This is Usnavi, the bodega owner, and his cousin Sonny."

Peter smiles, "I'm Peter Parker. Nice to meet you."

Sonny, who is sitting on the counter replies with a 'sup bro', and Usnavi, who is sporting his signature hat, waves in response.

"¡No me diga! (Y/N), is that you?" a voice from outside the bodega exclaimed.

"Diana! No way!" You said excitedly, running outside to greet your old friend while mumbling an 'I'll be back' to Peter.

Not long after you left, Usnavi comes to the counter with two sandwiches (which smelt incredible) and two coffees. Peter began to pull out some money from his school bag to pay when Usnavi stopped him.

"No, it's on the house kid. That girl out there, she's special. More than she'll ever let on. She thinks she can do it a alone, but we both know that no one can. I know that she told you that she doesn't believe in love, but trust me, that girl loves you. You treat her right, you here me?" Usnavi tells him. He can't help but think that (Y/N) sees Usnavi as a role model if Usnavi cares that much.

"Yes sir."

Usnavi smiles. "Good, now go enjoy your sandwiches!"

About half an hour later, the duo find themselves under the George Washington bridge, munching the last of their sandwiches and sipping their coffee. They both lean against a rock listening to seagulls and the traffic above them.

You stare at Peter. For the first time in your life, you feel like doing anything with him is better than doing it alone. You felt something in your chest, something you haven't felt since you were a kid, before your mother left and your father became addicted to work.

Something like love.

You watch as Peter looks at the scenery, a smile on his face.

"Where'd you find this place? The bodega, I mean," he asks you, while pretending to yawn and putting his arm around your shoulders. You blush a little; it was a classic move, but it still worked.

"Kev has a crush on this guy, Miguel. He's completely head over heels for the dude. He just so happens to be Sonny's older brother. So Kev started bringing me here a lot. He introduced my to Miguel and Sonny. Sonny then introduced my to Usnavi and soon, the entire neighbourhood knew who was, it seems." You explain, while leaning your head on Peter's shoulder.

"Pete?"

"Yeah?"

"What does love feel like?"

Peter furrows his brow. "Well, it's kinda like a magnet. Like you seem to be opposites, but you fill each others missing pieces, so you work in perfect harmony. And everything seems to be pushing you together. If you try to turn your backs on each other, the world puts you back together...why do you ask?"

"Peter Parker, I think I'm in love with you."

Peter sits up in shock and turn to face her, studying her face for signs to show that it was all a joke. "What? I--I thought you believed that love was for idiots."

You shake your head, "Then I must be the biggest fucking idiot in the galaxy, because I'm in love with you."

Peter searches your eyes, in search for any signs of regret. However, your were filled with determination and love.

So he kissed you.

And like magnets, the whole world seemed to push you together.

[peter-parkouuuur]

Chapter 4: The Upper East Side (Spider-boy - Peter Parker x Stark!Reader)

A/N: Thank you so much for the notes! All the love <3

Y/n/n = Your nickname :)

PROLOGUE, CHAPTER 1, CHAPTER 2, CHAPTER 3, CHAPTER 5, CHAPTER 6, CHAPTER 7, CHAPTER 8, CHAPTER 9, CHAPTER 10, CHAPTER 11, CHAPTER 12, CHAPTER 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday night

The trip back to New York was quiet. Tony was tired and disappointed, Peter was anxious & still has a swollen eye but is covered with the help of Y/n’s concealer. Y/n, on the other hand, was bored.

Y/n managed to get Peter’s phone number when he wasn’t looking. Thank goodness his phone didn’t have a passcode.

You didn’t want to disturb Peter while he was answering his homework, so you just tried to sleep off your restlessness.

“Dad, why did we stop here?” Y/n looks at her dad and at the lobby of your apartment building.

“We’re dropping you off first. I need to have a talk with Mr. Parker. Go eat your dinner and sleep. You have class tomorrow.” Tony tells Y/n sternly.

Helena walks toward the car and opens the door for you to step out.

“Fine… Bye, Peter.” You smile at Peter as he does the same.

“Good night, Dad.” Y/n greets Tony before sliding off the car.

You give your bag to Helena as the two of you head inside.

“How was Germany, Miss Y/n/n?” Helena asks you the elevator starts up.

“It was fine. I finished my homework, a bit jet-lagged but I’ll get over it.” Y/n replies.

As soon as you enter the foyer heading towards the living room, you tell Helena to bring your bag to your room upstairs.

You take your phone out and sent Peter the photo of you and him in front of the Brandenburg Gate along with a text.

Y/n: Berlin misses you already!!

You throw your phone on the couch as you start to remove your oxfords and your coat.

After a few seconds, you hear the soft ping from your phone.

Peter: And by Berlin, do you mean Y/n Stark? ;)

Y/n: Maybe ;) x

Peter: Don’t worry, I kinda miss Berlin too ;) x

Y/n: Just Berlin? What about your company while you were in Berlin? xD

Peter:  Not gonna lie, I really do miss Happy xD

Y/n: :(((

Peter: I’m kidding!!! Miss u too lol

Y/n: Good answer… x ;) Anway, good night, Peter! Don’t want to disturb you anymore :)

Peter: Feel free to disturb me anytime!!! Good night :)

“Miss Y/n/n, Should I prepare dinner?” Helena asks.

“I’m not that hungry… I’ll just take a quick bath and sleep. Good night, Helena.” Y/n replies, standing up from her seat and heads upstairs to her room.

“Good night, Miss Y/n.” Helena responds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So when are we going to meet this boy toy of yours from the Upper West Side?” You ask your friend Tina while the four of you are seated outside Gina La Fornarina.

“You’re dating someone from the other end? We need details, does this one have a trust fund?” Eliza chimes in.

“Where’s he from? Is he cute? Is he a Prep school boy?” Maddie adds.

“Okay okay! Here’s the thing. His name is Derick Thompson, he’s a junior from Collegiate. So anyway, he’s hosting a party Friday night and he told me I could bring guests. Are you guys up for meeting Prep school boys?” Tina smirks, handing you and your friends 3 golden tickets.

Eliza and Maddie both cheer at the thought, while Y/n just stays silent but has a small smile on her face.

“What’s wrong, Y/n? Of all people, you should be the most excited, everyone wants a Stark presence in their social event. Your mom was a New York socialite before she left for Paris. if there was a line of succession, you’d inherit the Stark social power. Use it.” Eliza states.

“I don’t know, El. I just…. I don’t want to meet with Prep school guys” Y/n grumbles.

The three friends all gasp in shock.

“Did you meet someone while you were in Berlin?” Tina questions.

“Who’s the lucky guy that made you all smitten kitten all of the sudden? Is he cute?” Maddie asks.

“You should definitely invite him to the party. We have to meet him.” Eliza tells you.

“N-no. I did not meet anyone in Berlin. I won’t tell you who he is and no I will not bring him to the party.” You reason out.

“Why not? Honey, Prep school guys have been pining over you since we moved to the Upper school and you’ve certainly had your fair share of them. Spill or we stalk..” Tina replies.

“Stalk all you want, I won’t tell you girls anything… But I’m not sure I’ll come to Dave Thompson’s stupid party.” You tell them.

“It’s Derick.” Tina corrects you.

“Derick Schmerick…. I’ll try to show up at his stupid party as long as you won’t freak out when I tell you about the guy I’m talking about.. Alright?” Y/n looks at her three friends sternly.

The three of them just nod, ready for A/n to spill the beans.

“His name is Peter… He’s also doing the Stark internship but he works for the science department. He’s from Queens.” Y/n explains.

“I-I’m confused. He’s from Queens? H-How?” Eliza stutters.

“Look, he may not be one of us here but he’s really nice but, I’m not sure if he’s into me as I am…. to him.” Y/n continues.

“Y/n, we have the Rockerfellers, the Kennedys, the Vanderbilts surrounding us… People talk, they’re gonna want to find out how you ended up with a guy who’s like a bridge away.” Maddie reminds Y/n.

“And besides, he’s stupid if he thinks he can do better than Tony Stark and  THE Denise Martin-Blanchard’s heiress. If you think he doesn’t like you, you have to MAKE him like you. Life is short, you better get what you want immediately or else someone else will take him for herself. Nobody can reject an Upper East Sider, we’re a rare breed. Here.” Tina hands Y/n another invitation.

“Give it to Peter. We really do want to meet him.” Eliza smiles sincerely at Y/n.

Y/n is still hesitant about the idea. What if he doesn’t feel like coming to a party at the Thompson’s. He doesn’t know anyone in their circle and will probably feel left out. Then again, Y/n will be there to help him. It’ll be fun to see Peter let loose for a bit and not be Spidey for a day.

“Fine.” You accept the invitation and smile weakly at your friends.

“So anyway, what’s Derrick like?” Maddie diverts the attention to Tina.

Thank goodness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday Afternoon

Peter’s POV

“Can you lay eggs?” Ned asks Peter

“What? No!” Peter furrows his eyebrows.

“Ned, If I laid eggs, I would have had like spider babies and that would just be the freakiest thing in the world.” Peter adds.

“That is freaky.” Peter hears a familiar voice.

Peter follows the voice to see Y/n Stark in the flesh. The last time he saw her, she was upset at Mr. Stark last Sunday night.

“Hi, Ned!” Y/n waves at Peter’s best friend.

“Y/n! Hey what are you, what are you doing here again?” Peter asks Y/n.

“I uhh I’d like to ask you something.” Y/n starts.

She looks at Ned before continuing.

“Alone, if that’s alright.” She continues.

“Bye, buddy.” Peter and Ned do the handshake before walking away with Y/n.

Anyway, are you busy tomorrow night? There’s this party coming up on the upper east side, and I was wondering if you wanted to come as my date.. I mean you don’t have to go if you’re not up for it, but my friend gave me an extra invitation and stuff….” Y/n states, handing Peter the invitation.

‘Am I in my right state of mind, or did Y/n Stark just ask me out on a date?’ Peter thinks to himself.

“I-I’d love to… Why not those snotty Prep school guys with trust funds costing more than our entire apartment building?” Peter asks her.

“Because those Prep school boys as handsome as they are, they’re not you.” She smiles at Peter.

He felt his heart beating faster than the average man.

“Y/n?” Someone interrupts their moment and Peter sees Liz Allan.

“Liz? What are you doing here?!” Y/n and Liz grin at one another before hugging.

‘Two of the girls Peter likes know one another. This is a small world.’ Peter thought to himself.

“How uh… How did you two meet?” Peter points at the two girls.

“Well, Liz and I were classmates at Spence before she decided to transfer to the smart school.” Y/n explains, looking at both Liz and Peter.

“It’s not my fault! My dad wanted us to live in the suburbs.” Liz replies.

“Liz! Let’s go!” Betty Brant shouts from the other side of the hallway.

“Gotta go! Bye Y/n! It was nice seeing you! Speak to you soon, okay?” Liz hugs Y/n.

“Bye Peter.” She waves at the smitten Peter before walking away.

Y/n couldn’t help but feel Peter’s longing towards Liz.

‘Of course, Peter likes Liz. Doesn’t everyone?!’ Y/n thinks to herself.

“Bye Peter!” Y/n kisses Peter on the cheek, leaving Peter all flustered again.

As soon as Peter closes the car door for Y/n and the car leaves, Peter calls Ned.

“What’s up, Spidey?!” Ned starts.

“Ned, don’t call me that. I’m begging you.” Peter grumbles.

“Right, yeah yeah yeah. Sorry.” Ned apologizes.

“Liz and Y/n know each other. They hugged and everything.” Peter tells his best friend.

“Awesome! So who among the two do you really like?! Dude, your life is so cool! Not only are you Spiderman, but imagine Spiderman dating Iron Man’s daughter or Midtown’s resident It Girl, Liz Allan… Flash will be so jealous.” Ned states.

“I don’t know yet. Y/n invited me to a party on the upper east side. She asked me out!” Peter exclaims.

“No way! You have to go! I don’t care if it’s far from where we live, you’re going on a date with a New York socialite in the making.” Ned responds.

“The thing is, I don’t know much about the life there. Our lives are so different and I’m sure she’s friends with the Teslas and the Roosevelts. I’m not quite sure if I’ll fit in.” Peter explains.

“Look, Y/n wouldn’t have invited you if she knew you were a weak shit. Don’t knock it ‘till you try it, Peter. You’ll be fine.” Ned tells his nervous friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to Y/n’s POV

The elevator to Stark’s apartment opens and Peter steps out, looking around the foyer in amazement.

“Mr. Peter, good to see you.” Helena greets.

“Hi, Helena! Where’s Y/n?” Peter asks.

“Parker! You’re here! Nuggets?” Y/n hands Peter the box as Peter takes one.

Peter notices your dress, a custom-design LBD, one of the many custom-dresses your mom made for you, specifically for New York gatherings.

“The thing is, High school parties don’t have much food and people just tend to get drunk. Might as well just eat here and burn the calories while dancing later.” You state.

“Makes sense.” Peter nods and while chewing.

Happy walks in with an expectant look.

“Looks like we have to go earlier than expected. Let’s go.” Y/n takes Peter by the arm and waves goodbye at Helena.

“Whoa.” Peter sighs in astonishment as soon as they enter Derick Thompson’s apartment. The place had a top to bottom windows that had the clearest view of the New York City skyline, Cristal champagne bottles, Swarovski Vodkas, and Hennessy bottles are all around and the Teenagers present clearly fit the ‘Snobby rich kids’ title.

Lorde’s song ‘Teams’ is playing on the loudspeaker with teenagers dancing to the beat.

“It’s Y/n Stark!!!” The Dj announces.

Everyone shouts “Hey!!” and grins at you.

“Welcome to my social circle.” Y/n looks at Peter blankly.

“You don’t look so happy.” Peter says to you.

“It’s not a Spence party…. I just came here because of my friends.” You answer back.

“Y/n!!” your three loud friends scream.

“You’re finally here! Oh my god, Derick is a total babe! You should’ve seen him do a keg stand, it was legit!” Maddie exclaims, handing you and Peter drinks.

“Girls, this is Peter… Peter, these are my friends; Maddison or Maddie whichever you want, Tina, and Eliza.” Y/n introduces.

“So you’re Peter from Queens! Y/n told us about you.” Eliza shakes Peter’s hand as the rest of them does the same.

“He’s cute, Y/n/n! Like a lost puppy or something.” Tina giggles.

“He really does look like a puppy doesn’t he?” Y/n smiles at Peter.

“So Peter, Where do you study?” Maddie asks.

“I’m from Midtown High.” Peter answers.

“Funny story, Liz actually goes there now.” Y/n interjects.

“What? I thought she moved to Andover?!” Eliza questions.

“If by Andover, you mean crossing the bridge to get out of Manhattan, then yes it’s Andover… I’m dead serious.” Y/n states.

“We should definitely visit Peter soon then. I’m sure Liz wouldn’t mind if we go see how she’s doing.” Maddie smirks at Y/n.

“Speaking of, there’s this loser who has been following Maddie like a tail. He says he’s Derick’s cousin. Looked like a complete tool if you ask me.” Eliza states.

Peter looks around to see Flash Thompson drinking from a solo cup. Flash sees him and grins.

‘Out of all the students from Midtown, Flash is the last person I want to see right now’ Peter thought to himself, grumbling at the coincidence.

“Penis Parker! What the hell are you doing here?” Flash walks towards him and notices that he’s not alone.

“Oh my god. It’s the loser again.” Eliza says in a murdering tone.

“Wow, look at you getting all the ladies. Did you lie and tell them about how you and Tony Stark are friends?” Flash questions.

“You mean, my dad?” Y/n crosses her arms.

Flash’s eyes move towards you in shock.

“You’re Tony Stark’s daughter?” Flash asks.

“What do you think?” Y/n hisses.

“Whoa, no need to get all defensive, hottie. You can definitely do better than Penis Parker though, you and I both know that.” Flash grins at you.

“You and I both know that you don’t have a chance, Johnny Bravo.” You scoff at his smugness.

“Go find someone else to torment, Flash. Derick didn’t even invite you.” Tina sneers.

Flash leaves the four looking slightly embarrassed but pretends he wasn’t told to fuck off.

Peter gasps at the tenacity of Y/n and her friends. He chugs on his drink before a random guy passing by cheers him on and pours another round in his cup, this time filling the whole cup with pure vodka.

“Go, Peter!” Tina cheers as Peter drinks from his cup again.

“Wow, he’s a hardcore drinker.” Maddie laughs.

“Peter, you should really take it slow.” Y/n warns Peter.

“I’m fine.. I promise.” Peter wraps an arm around your waist, smiling down at you.

Y/n moves her free hand to Peter’s hair and caresses his soft curls.

Peter leans in to kiss Y/n’s nose. You feel your cheeks flush at the contact.

Y/n and Peter hear a camera click to see the three girls with their phones out.

“Adorable.” Tina gushes.

You just roll your eyes, sensing Peter’s embarrassment at the expense of your friends’ giddiness.

You hear a familiar beat and immediately think of a solution to get you and Peter out of your friends’ radar.

“Let’s go dance! I’ll catch up with you girls later!” Y/n waves at her friends before pulling Peter to the dance floor.

“Are you having fun so far?” Y/n smiles at Peter, while they dance to Dj Snake’s Middle.

“Oh yeah!” Peter shouts.

Y/n just laughs at his disposition.

‘I imagine he doesn’t drink often considering the fact that already he looks tipsy,’ You thought to yourself, giggling at Peter’s weird movements.

“I HOPE THAT I CAN TURN BACK THE TIME TO MAKE IT ALL ALRIGHT, ALL ALRIGHT FOR US! I PROMISE TO BUILD A NEW WORLD! FOR US TWO!!! WITH YOU IN THE MIDDLE!!!!” The whole apartment echoes as the everyone sings along to the chorus.

You look up to see Peter grinning at the sight of the social scene you grew up knowing. Looks like he might fit into your life just fine.

The two of you have been dancing for god knows how long, Peter still hasn’t made a move on you.

You pull Peter near you and dance way more alluring than you intend to. You chug on your drink and just go with the music.

“Your parties are way better than ours! We don’t usually serve Swarovski vodkas or have gold-colored custom-made champagne bottles.” Peter laughs.

“Well then, I should bring you to our parties more often.” Y/n chuckles, biting her lip.

Peter’s eyes darken at the sight of Y/n looking more gorgeous than ever. He does the boldest move he has ever done in his entire life. He grabs you by the waist, his arms wrap around your body and press his head against yours, still holding the cup in his one hand.

Peter looks at you, unsure if he should continue and try to kiss you.

“Kiss me.” You whisper against his lips.

Yn’s hand slides up to the back of Peter’s head caressing his neck softly.

Peter leans in and kisses you softly, his arms gripping you tighter. The kiss intensifies as the two of you move to beat of the music, your arms wrap around his neck. You kiss him back with an intense hunger, feeling the kick of the alcohol you consumed. Peter may look like he’s an innocent kid, but he sure knows how to snog.

“Y/n Stark!” A voice interrupts the kiss.

Y/n and Peter hesitantly pull away from one another.

A tall, dark-haired, guy walks toward Y/n with Tina right beside him.

“You must be Derick!” Y/n smiles at the sight of her friend and her beau.

“Tina told me you stood up to my cousin. He’s kind of a jerk, but he’s family so I had to string him along.” Derick states.

A waiter passes by and offers all of us vodka shots.

“Cheers!” Derick lifts the shot glass.

“Cheers!” The four of you drink the shot in less than a second.

“By the way, this is Peter Parker. Peter, this is Derick Thompson.” Y/n introduces the two guys.

The two give each other a sloppy man-hug. 

Peter is definitely drunk now.

“Where are you from Pete?” Derick asks him.

“M-Midtown in Queens.” Peter answers sounding slurry.

“Oh! You must know my cousin then.” Derick chuckles.

“He isn’t my biggest f-fan.” Peter replies.

Another waiter passes by and hands a bottle to Derick who then pours the drink into everyone’s cups.

“Not of a fan of him either.” Derick nods in agreement.

“Thompson!” Someone shouts.

“No way!” Derick shouts back.

“It was nice seeing you guys.” Derick walks away.

“And you said he isn’t into you, I saw that, Stark.” Tina smirks at Y/n.

“Not gonna lie, I’m a bit wasted.” You reply.

Y/n looks at Peter whose eyes look like they’re about to close.

“Y/n, the room is spinning.” Peter grumbles.

“Oh my god.” Y/n mumbles.

Tina guides Y/n and Peter to the powder room only to find it occupied by teenage boys who look like they’re smoking pot.

Y/n calls Happy to pick them up as soon as possible. Happy sounded mad on the phone, knowing the tone that you have, he knows you’re hammered.

“Come on, I’ll bring you guys to the lobby.” Tina grumbles and helps the two of you navigate your way through the swamp of sweaty bodies and drunk teenage boys.

Tina presses the G button as you drunkenly hug her.

“Thank you so much for *hic* inviting us, Tina.” You whisper to your friend.

“Stop hugging her. Hug me instead!” Peter grumbles.

“Oh my god, even when you’re both drunk, you guys are still disgustingly clingy.” Tina snorts, seeing that her friend looks perfectly happy with the nerd she’s co-interning with.

Y/n wakes up to the sound of someone groaning. You open your eyes to see that you’re back at your apartment, laying down on the couch, wearing your favorite silk nightgown.

Y/n heads straight to the bathroom to remove the stinky remnants of alcohol. The moment you go back to the living room, you see Peter rolling on the floor, wearing the guest PJs. Helena must have told him to change before crashing.

“Are you okay? Have been lying on the carpet this whole time?” Y/n asks, the grogginess of the voice blatant.

“You didn’t notice? I just got back from the powder room after brushing my teeth.” Peter grumbles, looking up at you.

Y/n lays down beside Peter on the carpet and plays with his curly locks.

“Even when we’re both hungover, you still manage to look like the finest specimen in all the land.” Peter says.

“You flatter me too much.” You reply.

“You upper east siders sure know how to live like there’s no tomorrow. ” Peter sighs.

“Please, I can tell you already love it here.” Y/n scoffs at his statement.

“Only because you’re here” Peter responds.

Peter is about to lean in when Helena walks in on the two teenagers.

For the nth time this week, your moment is interrupted again.

“Miss Y/n/n… Your mother is on her way up.” Helena states.

SHIT!!

[malcolmbrights-a]

SEND ME ‘☏’ FOR A VOICEMAIL MY MUSE WOULD LEAVE YOURS. @sometenderness​

Lita & Pete

“Hello, Peter -- It’s me lita,” she greets energetically, even though she is beyond nervous and unsure of whether or not this is a good idea or not. As much as she likes Pete, she doesn’t want him to get fired from him job.  It would make her feel bad, and Lita would prefer not to have his loss on conscious. “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me this weekend? It’s fine if you say no, since i’m pretty sure there are rules against dating your student’s parent. But, if it is alright, I’d really enjoy treating you to dinner.” 

Violet & Charlie

“Charlie, baby -- do you see me wherever you go? Am I constantly on your mind?” Violet asks in sultry voice, the phone close to her mouth. She is using a burner phone and knows that he knows this. She also knows that he’s so obsessed with her that he isn’t going to care enough to tell his colleagues that she contacted him. “Because you’re constantly on my mind. A carousel of endless thoughts. I wish it would stop, and I wish we could be together, but I know that’s a foolish fantasy. You want to catch me to put me in prison, not because you care. Anyways, I left you a gift. It is in your size and I think it will look amazing on you. Kisses.”

Evie & Elliott

Evie makes kissy sounds into the phone, unable to help herself. She is wildly in love with her husband and can’t help but be affectionate with him. El is gone, working hard for their money, and she misses him dearly. So any call he makes to her means the world to her, and probably means the world to him, too. “Hey, I’m so excited! The baby kicked today! Can you believe that? I wish you were here to feel it, but I know you’re a worker bee who’s trying to raise money for when Aubrey arrives. It makes me happy to know you’re saving up money for her. But I do wish you’d come home already. You’re missing so so so much. I love you. Have a great day.” 

[carmeninguanzo]

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7

This morning, January 6, 2017, dia de los Reyes, I sat in front of my tree by myself contemplating 2016.  The year of insanity, heartbreak, loss, anxiety on levels I didn’t think were possible, almost losing my mind, successes and triumphs, anger, love and hate.  I’m grateful for them ALL.  Though the year 2016 started rocky, with a huge bump on the road, I never imagined it’d become what became.  During the month of early January a very special and dear person in my life was fighting between two worlds; the world of drug addiction, and the world of trying to become clean and regain control of his life. While in jail for about a month he confessed what he did to get arrested, what he did to stay alive because he knew that one more day in the streets would have caused him his life.  My family and I were devastated, but life had to go on.  We had already planned a big family vacation to Mexico in early February to celebrate my husband’s 50th.  We were there for eight days and made the best of it.  Not long upon our return, we dealt with the biggest heartbreak of our lives.  A heartbreak that forever changed our lives; forever changed us as individuals and as a family.  The harsh reality of Crystal Meth.  I became obsessed with researching this world because I believed there was something we could’ve done to help him out. I wanted to know what about this drug was so consuming and impossible to kick.  What I didn’t know was that in doing so, my entire existence would take the biggest hit of my life.  I watched documentaries after documentaries, read books after books, listened to testimonials after testimonials of people that were addicted to the worst and most powerful drug that exists.  A drug they all described as “THE DEVIL”.  I read about what’s in the drug and the effects this drug has on the person both short term, and long term, becoming more and more depressed.  I wanted to fix this, I wanted to fix him, and I couldn’t bear to sit around and watch him wither away.  I refused to lose this fight and I was going to give it all I had.  For months I carried this weight; a weight that wasn’t mine to carry.  In fact, it wasn’t anyone’s weight to carry, but his.  At least that’s what we know now.  I say this because this experience, this situation, completely consumed us.  Literally.  And we too, were headed on that downhill spiral of destruction with him.  It took months and months to realize this on my own, but this realization came with many, many tears, sleepless nights, anxiety and severe depression.  I felt my world coming down on me.  In the middle of all this chaos, I decided to submit an application and a manuscript to VONA (Voices of Our Nations Arts Foundation).  It’s a weeklong writing workshop for writers of color.  This would be my second time attending, the first time being at the University of Berkeley, California three years prior.  I submitted, not really telling anyone because of fear of failure.  During this process, I fought the two voices we have in our heads; the pessimistic voice, who the hell do you think you are thinking you’re going to be one of the few people accepted into the workshop, and the optimistic voice, you got this baby girl, you’ve been doing the work, your worth it.  Though I had never felt more secure about being accepted at VONA, it was inevitable to think I was deserving of it.  Sure enough, on April 15, 2016 I received an email that stated, “Dear Carmen, Congratulations!  On behalf of the Voices of our Nations Art Foundation (VONA/Voices) I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as a participant in the Voices Writing Workshop at the University of Miami, June 26-July 2, in the Memoir Workshop with Reyna Grande (which by the way, was my first selection out of the two options available).  The response to the workshops was overwhelming and the choices made by the Selection Committee were difficult.  We were impressed with the quality of your writing, and we would like to invite you to join the VONA/Voices community of writers and look forward to your contribution to this year’s program.”  I was elated by my acceptance for that brief moment, but very quickly that moment was robbed by this addiction my family and I were trying to cope with.  This is the nature of what addiction does to families.  I questioned whether I’d be able to deal with not only the pressure and work I needed to put into VONA, but also, my college studies.  It had been almost a year since I had gone back to college, and I was overwhelmed to say the least.  This was the first time I decided that my only option, was succeeding.  Under extreme pressure, anxiety, responsibilities to my family, especially my autistic seven-year-old son, depression and mourning, I made it happen.  

When I left to VONA, my best friend Roz was scheduled to have surgery and several other procedures.  I was concerned about him, but knew he was in the best hands at Cornell University, New York Hospital.  I also knew that his wife, Annette, would never leave his side until he was cleared of any possible danger. I arrived at VONA on Sunday, June 26, and my last message to my beloved Roz was on Monday, June 27, asking him how was he feeling.  I knew he was scared, and I also knew how depressed he had been, but I never heard back from him.  I decided to leave him alone and focus on making the best out of my new VONA experience.  Monday and Tuesday were great!  There was a VONA alumni reading at Books & Books in the Wynwood part of Miami, and after the readings we all went to an outdoor dance/bar where we all had an amazing time.  I had forgotten what it was to party and have fun, and that I did that night, thankfully.  What I had anticipated my VONA experience to be like this time, came to an abrupt end on Wed, June 29 when I received the worst call of my life as I was sitting on a bench outside of the university waiting for my childhood friend Irma, to pick me up.  We had planned on spending the afternoon together.  My phone rang.  “Hey hon, how are you?”  My manuscript had just been workshopped and I was still feeling high and overwhelmed by the experience.  Being workshopped is never easy, especially when you’re sharing real shit and you’ve spilled your blood and tears onto the pages.  It’s hard enough to write personal essays, let alone share them, putting them out into the world for people to read your crazy, and sometimes dysfunctional ass self, as I am.  

My husband didn’t hesitate, though I could hear the distress in his voice, “I have bad news baby.  It’s about Roz.”

“Aww come on!  Are you fucking serious?!  I just got my piece workshopped and my nerves are shot, I can’t take any bad news!  Not right now!”  I was frantic and shaking by this time.

“I’m sorry ma, but I needed to call you and tell you before you heard it from someone else or saw it on FB.”  I heard the fear.  I knew I had to brace myself.

“Ok, tell me.  What is it?!”

“Roz died ma.  He committed suicide.  I’m sorry to have to tell you now.”

I yelled at him, hung up the phone and collapsed onto the floor.  Right in front of the bus stop and the university lounge area by the traffic loop.  Less than five minutes later, my friend Irma arrived....  My VONA experience would never be the same.  I showed up for the next two mornings to workshop my fellow writers pieces and then left campus.  It was the least I could do.  I owed it to them and I had committed to them, the same way they committed to me.  After all, that’s the main reason why we attend writing workshops.  Friday after the last workshop, I left and never went back.  I needed to be around family. Badly. 

In 2016, I learned I have strengths I never knew I possessed.  I faced one of my biggest fears which was exposing my natural self and no longer hiding behind my hair.  The beautiful, shiny, straight, processed hair I loved and cared for with weekly salon visits my entire life, because that’s what I was taught beauty was; always having your hair done.  “La mujer con el pelo malo, feo y desareglado nunca se ve bien.”  My Dominican mother and aunts would always say to me. In mid July I took a plunge and decided on a big chop, originally not the plan, but it ended up that way.  Though I did have other options, I didn’t think much about it.  I just did it.  I chopped off all of my hair, never imagining the toll it would take on my ego, on my emotional health.  This was yet another battle I had to fight.  A big one, I must admit.  One that shocked me to my core, and made me hate the person I now saw in the mirror.

A month after Roz’s death, my uncle and my husband’s grandmother both died on the same day, an hour apart.  And less than a month after that, our great friends lost their five-year-old son in a car accident.  It was another blow to my gut, leaving me breathless for months.  In being there every single day, and holding their hands every step of the way, including creating a GoFundMe page for them, I carried this weight with them as my own.  Tragedy and heartache followed me throughout the entire year and I refuse to allow 2016 to dictate 2017.  Through it all, I managed to keep my commitment to my studies and continue on my goal of remaining an A student, keeping my GPA close to a 4.0 and that, I don’t even know how I did.  This previous Monday I started school full time scared as shit, doubting myself 1000 times, but doing it anyways. This year, facing probably the biggest fear of my life, I joined the #52essays2017 challenge.  An essay per week for the entire year, and not just any essay, PERSONAL ESSAYS.  If talking about our personal shit to our close friends and family is hard as fuck, imagine sharing it with the world!  But I can’t stop now, I’ve learned what it is to stay committed and to keep treading no matter how hard shit gets.  I’m committed to my life, to my dreams, to my happiness, because only I can give myself that.  I am committed to creating structure in my life, something I’ve never known.  I am committed to being the best version of myself, to reinventing myself and becoming the woman God created me to be with all of my flaws and imperfections.  This year I am committed to remaining vulnerable, because if more of us showed our vulnerability, the world would be a better place because there is no such thing as a perfect life, the perfect relationship, the perfect anything.  

This year, I am committed to embracing ALL of who I am...

“Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.”   ~George Bernard Shaw

This quote changed my life.  All this time I had been on a quest to find myself, when all I had to do was re-create myself.  I hope this quote can help someone else too!

[james--harrington]

Work Visit || JElla

Tagging: James Harrington & Ella Jameson When: 5/19/17 Where: The auto shop Notes: 

James-05/19/2017

James wiped the grease from his hands and went to answer his office phone which was ringing off the hook the past two minutes. The rag dropped onto a stack of paper and he slid his fingers underneath the receiver. "Harrington Auto Shop," he spoke as he sat down. He wanted to groan because it felt good to give his feet and back a rest. "Oh. Yeah. Been busy," he said into the phone. "No," he kept going," He felt like sparking a cigarette but after El told him about the babies he made a conscious effort to not smoke. "Things are fine, man. I'll come by the bar later this week. Alright?" He hung up his phone right when Ella's car pulled up. He wanted to give it an oil change. James sat there for a moment. His friend knew something was up and James didn't want to tell him, or anyone, what Ella shared with him. But Chuck always had a way of uncovering the truth.

Ella-05/19/2017

Cruising around had proven to be getting harder and harder with the growing bump, but today was a good day where Ella was feeling herself. Carefully getting in to the BMW Ella drove it down to James' garage noting how much smaller the car seemed as she grew bigger and bigger. On the way she stopped for two ice coffees for them as it was a warm day.  When she pulled in she cut the engine and got out, coffees in hand. Her bump led the way in her denim off the shoulder summer dress as she walked in to the shop. "Hey Theo, is James in the office?"

James-05/19/2017

Theo greeted Ella with a warm, welcoming smile. The man pointed to the office with a wrench. "He took a phone call," he told her in case he happened to still be on the phone. Theo set the wrench aside and walked to Ella's car. James told him what it needed done earlier in the day. James heard El's voice and he pushed the phone to the side and though to tidy his desk because he knew she'd give him an earful about his filing system. But he decided to hell with it. "I'm here, El!" he called out for her to come on in.

Ella-05/19/2017

Ella thanked Theo and balanced the coffees in one hand opening the door to James office. "Ya know, I think I need a bigger car. I kinda want a Rover.. what do you think?" Ella placed a coffee on his desk and kissed his cheek,"Hi baby, how's your day?"

James-05/19/2017

"A bigger car for you or one for the babies?" He asked, getting to his feet to kiss her hello. He picked up his coffee and set it away so he could sit on the corner of his desk, feeling a stack of paper push to the side. "Busy. Not overwhelming which is good." He chewed his lip a moment. "Got a phone call from a friend of mine. Someone I've known for a lot of years. He was getting ome about not being around."

Ella-05/19/2017

"Well for all of us. It will give you more leg room and more space for all the baby gear..." Ella shrugged, "We can keep the Beamer too. That can be our date night car or something." She moved so she was in between his legs and sipped on the cold drink, eyeing the papers that moved. She gave him a look but didn't say anything. Her head cocked to the side,"oh yeah? Anyone I've met?" She tried to read his vibe if this was bothering him.

James-05/19/2017

"I like how you sell the leg room for me," he placed his hands onto her hips and tried to ignore the way she looked past him. That look she gave said it all and he though to poke fun at it. But he decided to stick with the topic of his friend. "No. Chuck wasn't at the bar when you went there." He tried to think of a way to explain who he was, "Remember when I told you I went to jail and they discharged me because of a wrongful charge? This is the friend I was with that night. The one who was arrested for assault."

Ella-05/19/2017

"And they're so pretty.." Ella smiled with a her best pouty face. Of course she could buy one herself and would gladly get one for the family. But at James seemingly serious face Ella touched his chin lovingly,"Is he someone you should be hanging out with?" She questioned gently but seriously.

James-05/19/2017

James leaned back on his hands and eyed his girl, loving the way she smiled about the car. "Why do I get the impression you'll name this?" He asked, "Would it have one of those fancy names?" He picked up his drink and sipped from the straw. "And no. He's not. He has that way of knowing somethings on my mind. And after you told me about Peter I've had days it creeps back in there and angers me all over again. I don't need him to weasle that information out of me. A. It's private. B. I know he's push for some type of revenge shit." Not that James was opposed to that latter.

Ella-05/19/2017

"Name the car?" Ella thought about it delighted,"Maybe I can call that coco." She mused. But Ella's demeanor changed the more James spoke. She understood it angering James and how it found its way back in his thoughts - it certainly was on her mind more than she liked to admit seeing him day in and day out - but still. "I didn't tell you you that to torture you or to get revenge." Ella said pointedly. "I don't want this guy bringing you down, j. I need you. We need you."

James-05/19/2017

It was a good thing James stopped drinking when he did because the eye roll which followed her name choice would have caused him to sputter.  He held the cup between his knees and looked down at it, pinching the straw to move up and down. "I know that wasn't your intention, baby. But you've got to understand you're my woman. I'm going to get into these moods where I want to protect you. Even when it comes to things that have happened." He let go of the straw and set the drink down beside him to take hold of her, unable to bring her in fully due to her bump. "Don't worry. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He wanted to promise he wouldn't do anything stupid but he wasn't sure he could.

Ella-05/19/2017

Ella knew that being open with James would upset him and that had been part of the big struggle of how and when to tell him but now everything was out and she had no idea what he would do with this information. Nodding, she sipped on her coffee and let James pull her in more. His words bringing her more security than he realized as they still waited the results for the paternity test they took. Something felt unsettled and she couldn't put her finger on it.

James-05/19/2017

James went to take the coffee from her hand and set it next to his. There was no way to tell which was which without reading the sides of the cups. "How are you feeling?" he wanted to steer the conversation away from Chuck and anything involving Peter and focus on her.

Ella-05/19/2017

Ella searched his face for a moment before answering. She wasn't sure what to think of his subject change but didn't press and instead went along with it. "Pretty good. I've been feeling some flutters and I swear I felt a kick in the car after I ate that lemon pound cake." Ella looked down at her belly with a smile. "Im hoping they try and show off for daddy."

James-05/19/2017

"Does this mean I can't put my hand on your belly and tell one of them to kick for me?" He put his cool hand there anyway. Just in case they heard him. Could babies understand language already or was it all muffled sounds. Actually...it was better then or their kids would come out mimicking some of the words his El tended to say when they got good and hot in the bedroom. "I need to paint the nursery and put together the cribs this weekend." He said, hand remained on her stomach. "I'd hate for the room to be half finished by the time they come out."May 20, 2017

Ella-05/20/2017

"No no, you should; I want them to kick for you." Ella grinned. She took his hand and placed it a little lower to where she had felt the kick before. She looked up at him,"that sounds good, I'll help where I can but we could also hire a painter if you want?" It also lead back to their more involved conversation of where they would live.  "Have you thought any more about looking into buying a new construction build in town?"

James-05/20/2017

James' hand went to it's new place and he massaged the area with the lightest of touches, more of a caress than anything. "I have," he admitted. "The thing with that is if you want it to be under my name or yours. We can change all of that later when we're married." he said this as if there was no question about it. His ex made her opinon very clear saying Ella got pregnant because she wanted to trap him in the relationship and we he told her he planned to marry her that set off a whole other stream of opinions. "That's if you still want to after the babies are here and you see how much I suck as a parent." James had to laugh at himself with this.

Ella-05/20/2017

"We could be co-signers?" Ella suggested. "And we may not even need a loan; between what we get for our places and what I have in my trust we should be more than able to cover it in cash." Ella started to feel the fluttering in her belly and covered J's hand with her own, applying pressure and giving him a look, "Please these poor kids are stuck with the both of us." She laughed with him.

James-05/20/2017

As he was about to add something his hand was guided further down and his mouth dropped open; which turned into an immediate smile. "Oh shit," he whispered. "That's what the kicks feel like?" he wanted to get off the desk and go eye level to be closer. James' whole face lit up and he couldn't get over this. That one of their kids was feeling active and he wonder if it was the boy or girl. Or if they took turns. "Does that tickle?"May 21, 2017

Ella-05/21/2017

"Don't swear," Ella laughed, knowing all too well that both of them had mouths on them. She nodded,"I've been feeling the flutters for a while but they're getting strong enough to feel them from the outside now." There was a sharp little kick against James' hand,"Oh! That was a big one!" Ella giggled, as she stared down at her stomach in awe. "It kind of feels like bubbles or something. It's crazy. Must be the coffee!"

James-05/21/2017

James gave her a look and he laughed. By God did he laugh. "You do know our kids are coming out knowing all the bad words, right? They probably hear enough of it already." The kicking stopped almost as soon as it started but he didn't move his hand. He could still feel a trace of it against his palm. "Bubbles? Like indigestion but it pack a punch?" he grinned and bent down to kiss her neck. "Okay. The house. I know we need to figure this out. Is there a neighborhood you have in mind?"

Ella-05/21/2017

Ella couldn't help but laugh harder,"I don't know what you're talking about." She teased before nodding,"Yeah exactly. It feels pretty cool. I like that it lets me know they're doing okay in there." Ella gave a happy sigh at his kiss,"Well, I like the one where the new construction house would be but it's a little far from downtown if I decide to go back to work." That reminded her of something but she shelved the thought for later. "Your house is cute but it's not big enough and my house just isn't kid friendly. I think we really need to consider building and that way we can customize it however we want too."

James-05/21/2017

"I've never been in a house that was made from one of those plans. My first house was one my parents moved into before their marriage went to shit," He covered his mouth and said sorry before splitting into a grin. Not like he would actually change his language. Not until they were out. "Then my house now is even older." He picked up his drink and went for a sip. "How long does it take to get one of those built?"

Ella-05/21/2017

Ella's brows raised when he swore but she wore a grin to show she wasn't upset and giggled when he apologized. Ella shrugged, "Only a couple months. Maybe less if we get one where the frames already been put up and just needs finishes." She sighed,"I know it's a lot to think about but I do want to have some kind of plan." Ella propped her arms on his shoulders. "You know I'm a planner. Maybe annoyingly so."

James-05/21/2017

"That's all it takes? I thought they'd need more time than that." He swore the house down the way from here took twice that amount of time. Either someone was slacking or they got a good set of builders at he place Ella was eyeing. He wouldn't put it past her to find the nicest place to live in. "It is. A lot of this has been a big change. A year ago it was just me and ol' Rock. Sometimes I went out most of the times I stayed in. Now it's us and we got two on the way and talking about a new house and car. It's like life fast forwarded for both of us."

Ella-05/21/2017

"Well, I mean, I'm sure we could be persuasive." Ella mulled it over in her head, money talked after all. She nodded in agreement; it was true, life had done a 180 for Ella. One of the biggest including her job. "Speaking of change, I got a call back from that firm I was looking into. They said if I decide to leave, they want me." Ella ran her fingers along the collar of James' shirt. "All of these things together get me a bit anxious to be honest, but I just try to keep telling myself it's all good changes; The house , the car, the job, the babies..." Ella looked at him,"what about you? Are you happy with the changes?"

James-05/21/2017

"We? I think the pesuasive one out of this pair is you. I just sit in the back and look pretty," He chuckled and placed his now empty cup on the desk. "No shit? I knew that that firm would want you. You're good at what you do and the sooner you're away from him the better." he kissed her lips but pulled away for a moment, "How do you feel about that firm? Are they one you like?" He hated how Peter treated her and there was that ever-present anger associated with him, but James did what he could to move past it. She didn't want to press charges and didn't want him to do anything to him. No matter how hard he struggled. "I'm happy, El. A bit scared but it's nothing we can't handle. I need to work on getting the house ready to sell so we can have that money for the new place. And I don't want you stressing too much over everything. But I think most of my fear is about how things will be after they get here. Other than taking care of my sister I don't know much about babies."May 22, 2017

Ella-05/22/2017

Ella threw her head back,"Oh right right. You're the beauty in this relationship I forget." She laughed. Moving around to sit in his chair after he kissed her, she nodded, "I like them, I think I'd be a good fit. Taking a pay cut but." She shrugged. "I think it's worth it." Ella played aimlessly with the arm of the chair,"I haven't even told Peter I'm looking for a new job. I don't know how that's going to go when I give him my notice." The thought made her so uneasy but she tried not to let it show on her face. "Well I can always pay for it up front and we can sort out the rest after your house sells so we don't have to wait around?" She offered. But feeling that same fear about once the twins were here was something very real to Ella too. "Baby, I haven't even changed a diaper. Not one. Ever. I think we should sign up for those birthing classes they talked about ... I bet  they'd help us feel more confident and the next course starts in two weeks. You in?"

James-05/22/2017

"How could you? I think I should write the words 'The Beautiful' on my plain white undershirts. To serve as a daily reminder." He waited until she was in his chair to walk around it. James lowered and wrapped his arms around her. "By the way I'm kidding. Theo's the beautiful one. Let's be real." James kissed the side of her head and went to sit in front of her. "When do you plan to deliver the news? I can only imagine a man like him won't take it well," Would he try to sabotage her? The idea wouldn't surprise James considering how he tries to power play Ella. "If you're okay with doing that, then I think that'll be the best route. Houses haven't been selling that well in the neighborhood so I pray mine doesn't sit there long." James fingered a hole in his coveralls, feeling the firmness of his thigh underneath. "Yeah. We should do it. The earlier we get on it the better."

Ella-05/22/2017

Ella laughed at his tshirt design and then harder at Theo,"Oh my God you two." But she sobered a bit at the thought of telling Peter. "I want you to be there - not in the room, but close." She wanted the security of him around, not that she thought Peter would go after her again while she was pregnant. Though she wondered if James could be close to where Peter was without issue. She tried to sort that in her head but couldn't. Ella looked up at him with a soft smile,"look at us making big decisions. I'll get in touch with the contractor soon then and call the Lamaze instructor and tell her that we're in."

James-05/22/2017

"Have I ever told you how much I love your laugh," he admitted with a grin. "It's half the reason I say the stupid shit I do. To get you to laugh." James moved from the desk and walked to the door to open and check on Theo, who was in his own world. He finished with Ella's car and went on to another project. The guy was fine on his own and James closed the door. "I'll be there. I want to make sure he doesn't say or do anything to hurt you or our kids." He'd more than likely be on the other side of the door listening in, not giving a shit if people think that's overly protective. If they knew the type of man they worked for they would think he was doing the right thing. Hell they probably did and didn't speak up. "So. What is that now, with all the new things going on. The babies. Selling our places. Buying a house. The move. Lamaze classes. You leaving work and starting at a new firm after maternity leave." He whistled and shook his head. "It's not even June yet."

Ella-05/22/2017

"You have and it always makes me smile." Ella grinned back. She watched as he moved about, wondering if she upset him talking about work and Peter. "I just don't want him to know you're there. I feel like that would make things worse." Unless of course he needed to step in then by all means. "And dont forget my Rover." Ella unsuccessfully bit on her lip to keep from smiling.

James-05/22/2017

James grabbed a chair and brought it over to place in front of El, reaching over to grab the arms of his office chair to roll her close. "So I'm like the invisible body guard?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. He wanted Peter to know he was there. He wanted the man to sweat. Still why would he? He didn't know James' past or the fights he'd get into. He was a total stranger to him. "You're right. With a man like him he needs to feel as if he has the upper hand." James knew the type. As dispicable as he was he needed to watch his step. Ella's situation was fragile. "Do you think this is how it's going to be from now all? One change after the next? Or will it eventually settle and we just work on enjoying the things we added to our lives?"

Ella-05/22/2017

"I just dont want any trouble and I feel like telling him I'm not coming back after the babies are here is already going to have him ready to fly off the handle." Ella looked at J, sure he could see the conflict of emotion in her eyes, "I still hate that he won." She confessed in a small voice. Ella shook her head, "No, I think once we nail down these big changes and adjust to a family of, Christ - four- things will settle down."

James-05/22/2017

"No, no. I get it. The macho part of me wants to flex my muscles  and show him that you've got a support system. But I understand. You've gotta handle this the way that you know is best." James wanted to say something, about how it wasn't about winning because this was about her getting away from a toxic place with a man who didn't deserve to walk this Earth. "Fuck. Four of us. I can only imagine how things will get with you the closer you get to popping them out. I bet you'll want to nail my dick to a wall by the time the contractions hit."

Ella-05/22/2017

Ella grinned cheekily, " I do love the look of your muscles... But, no really, thank you for understanding, baby." She took her coffee and swirled it around before taking a sip, " I'm sure I will." Ella said with a big wide grin on her face. " To think I'm this big half way there... " she made a face. " I'm going to have you get fixed."

James-05/22/2017

"I think I have at least a set of triplets in me. Maybe after that you can have me snipped," he said as a means to make their conversation light again. Unless his comment warranted the rest of her drink on the top of his head. "I do want to be understanding, El. You've been at that firm much longer than you've known me. You've created connections with coworkers and clients. Your boss may be a prick but I don't what him, or my anger, to jeapordize anything you've worked so hard for."

Ella-05/22/2017

"Dont you even fucking joke!" Ella gasped with wide eyes. The thought of two children was daunting enough she couldnt even imagine having more, at least not currently, but that got her curious. "Do you actually want more than two kids? You can be honest. I promise I wont castrate you in your office." Ella nodded, appreciating his sentiments, "Thank you, truly, but if its okay with you, I really cant talk about it just yet? Everything still kinda stings and knowing he has ... sensitive material of me ." Ella couldn't finish that through and she didnt want to make things awkward but the truth was this crushed her. Sitting up, Ella smoothed out her dress. "So, are you getting together with Chet or whatever his name is? What did you say to him?" she asked bringing their convo full circle.(edited)May 24, 2017

James-05/24/2017

"The look on your face just now is what makes it easy to joke with you," he said, giving her knee a squeeze before leaning back in his chair. "I think two is plenty. Most people spread them out but we're getting them in one go. Any more than that?" He shrugged. "I think that's more as a we'll see how we are after the babies are a few years old." James rubbed the side of his face in thought while he spoke but his eyes fell on her, shifting from the family talk. "When you're ready to go into it, know I'm here for you, El. And no. I might see him at the bar but I'm keeping our private lives to ourselves. He and try to pry all he wants. This is to keep things from getting out of hand."

Ella-05/24/2017

"How we are meaning if we survive them? Good plan." Ella laughed, but wasn't entirely kidding. Ella gave a nod at what James said about his friend, she felt like that was probably best too.

James-05/24/2017

"Pretty much the only plan we got," he took the cup from her hand and gave Ella a tug on the wrist to sit on his lap. He leaned back to make it easier for her. "We've got this, El. We're people who know how to get things done and we have a lot of love and patience. Well. I have enough patience for the both of us." He'd probably get a hit from her with that one.

Ella-05/24/2017

Ella gave him a look and flicked his shoulder,"Shut up." She smirked, leaning in closer to his face,"Gimme some sugar." Ella closed the space between their mouths and kissed his soft full lips, feeling the scratch of his beard. "I love you and I know we got this." She went in for another kiss, longer and deeper this time.

James-05/24/2017

James laughed initially into the kiss but it soon slipped away and he place a hand onto her stomach, riding it out until she grew tired of his lips. If it were up to him they'd kiss all the damn time. He loved how good her lips felt against his. "I-" he was ready to say in the brief break and she was back on him and James rocked back laughing. And, as much as he didn't want to do this, he had to asked, "Are you done with the day? I want to grill some steaks and enjoy the weather. It's a nice enough day for it."

Ella-05/24/2017

A small whimper left Ellas mouth when he pulled away and while he spoke she kissed at his sharp jaw line and down his neck. " I have some  depositions I need to review because I have a few meetings tomorrow but other than that I'm free." she managed to speak in between kisses. "Steak sounds good. Maybe some grilled peppers too. And watermelon." Ella listed a new food after each kiss, "Hostess Cupcakes and salt and vinegar chips - the wavy kind."May 26, 2017

James-05/26/2017

"Can you do those at home or do you have to go back to the office?" James wanted her to spend as little time there as possible and knowing she went in everyday caused him to fight with the urge to keep close by. Just in case. "Please tell me you're eating all of this separately and not mashing it into a glob of food."

Ella-05/26/2017

"I can review them at home tonight but I have to be in office for the meetings tomorrow." Knowing that unsettled him she clarified,"I'll be with a bunch of people and Peter probably won't even be in." She kissed his cheek,"well I won't be eating any of it if my baby daddy doesn't go and get them for me?" She gave him her sweetest grin.

James-05/26/2017

James relaxed. It felt good to have someone who understood where you came from and what your concerned were. He and Brandi weren't compatible and they had a few colorful arguments due to how they just didn't sync. They were fine as friends but even that was strained at times. Especially now. "Is baby daddy a new name for me?" He asked as he went to kiss her neck.

Ella-05/26/2017

"I mean, it sounds more endearing then Sugar Daddy." Ella grinned, leaning into his kiss.May 28, 2017

James-05/28/2017

"Besides Sugar Daddy is those overly sweet caramel candy on a stick. If I'm to be named after a candy I prefer something better." He took her kiss and started to get to his feet. "Theo finished with your car awhile ago. I wanted to keep you here with me longer."

Ella-05/28/2017

"Those will rip your teeth out but I used to love them. " Ella thought back fondly. She slipped off of James lap to let him stand and smiled adoringly at her boyfriend,"aw you're too sweet Mr. Harrington. Will I see you at your house soon then? And maybe we can try to get these babies to move for us again.." Ella placed a hand a top her belly.

James-05/28/2017

"Now I can't feel the image of you eating one of those out of my head," he chuckled because it seemed like it would be sexy up until she takes a bite from it. "If you head there now I might be half an hour. I need to get groceries." James leaned against the door and tapped his finger to his lips. "You should lay a couple on me before you leave."

Ella-05/28/2017

Ella grinned and paused long enough to give J a few pecks on the lips. "I'll text you my list." She continued walking out, "love you! Bye Theo!" And carefully got back in her car.

James-05/28/2017

James watched her as she walked away, eyes on Ella's ass the whole time before she rounded the car and went right to the driver's side door. He gave her a wave and watched until she pulled out completely. When it was only him and Theo left he said, "Let's call it an early day. Wrap up what you're doing and get back to it tomorrow morning." James returned to his office and shut down his computer and grabbed his keys. He tossed their coffees in the trash and went out the garage door; where Theo was waiting. They said their goodbyes, and James stuck around to make sure everything was locked tight before he headed to the store to buy what was needed for the barbque, plus the other items Ella's been craving.