#he actually slept with both of Dew's dads

[spoiledberry]

Dewdrop, presenting a slide show: Rating the Papas as whether or not they slept with my father: Primo. 10/10, never slept with my father; Secondo.. 9/10. He came close but never slept with my father. —a picture of Terzo appears— YOU FUCKING BITCH

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

OBSESSIVE STOLAS x Male Imp pt.4

(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)

Stolas sat in the family limo, enjoying the smooth rumble of limos engine as he travelled home. Along the way, he felt... at peace.

As though, all the problems that plagued his mind before, had... evaporated.

Stolas ran a hand down his chest, his thighs grinding together as he thought about his time with you.

You were so gentle. So tender and elegant with him. As though he were some delicate piece of art.

But he knew the truth...

You handled him so delicately, because you wanted him to feel loved.

...Because you loved him.

The thought sending a whole new wave of warmth threw him.

So focused on the events that just transpired was he, he didn't even notice his arrival home.

He walked through the building blissfully unawares of all around him, almost in a drunken state.

Entering his chambers he found the bed made and empty.

Of course it was, Stella hadn't shared there bed since Blitzø fell into Stella's brunch.

He'd once found it all so charming. Blitzø's brash, rough and tumble attitude had once made him swoon.

But now when he thought about being with Blitzø, he just felt like an idiot for having thought there relationship was anything beyond a business transaction.

But now he had you. And you were all he needed now.

He fell onto his bed, not bothering with the covers. Content to just lay there and bask in the light you brought to his life.

But those tears he shed had took a toll on him, and as much as he wished to bask in this warmth he could feel sleep taking him and with one more happy thought of you, he allowed sleep take him.

He awoke early the morning, and despite being bathed in the light of Hell's crimson sun.

He felt cold.

As though all the warmth youd given him yesterday had simply vanished.

He sat up, sluggishily removing the covers went about preparing for his day of... nothing.

Stella hadn't allowed him anywhere near his usual meeting or appointments, not since- well you know what happened.

Perhaps he'd try and talk to his beloved Octavia. If she was feeling hospitable.

Hmmm. Perhaps not. He should probably just give her some space.

Besides he realised an even more important thing he could do with his morning.

Learning everything he could about You.

Turning over, he found his phone. Looking through his contacts.

He found your name, going into your contact he considered messaging you, but decided against it. He didn't want to bother you so early in the morning.

Instead he pulled up Voxtigram, his main form of communication, before typing in your name.

But he couldn't find you.

So he checked Blitzø's friend list, he eventually found you, it turns out you just had your name backwards, something that made him chuckle.

Seeing pictures of Blitzø sent pangs of sadness through his chest, but he soldiered on.

Scrolling through your pictures, he didn't find much.

Alot of them were just pictures of the places you'd been, or one of the weapons you used on the job.

He eventually did find some of you.

The first he found was you and the two other Imps that worked there, Millie and Moxxie he was pretty sure were there names.

The next was you on your first day at work.

It was a selfie of you in a group hug with Blitzø and the others.

You were all clearly being forced by Blitzø.

The awkward little smile you wore sent a wave of warmth through him.

Scrolling further down, he found more pictures of you. Most of them were just you relaxing at a variety of places, or after after getting a new outfit. Just general stuff about your life in hell.

Then he found one that made his heart skip a beat.

It was a picture of you. Wearing just a pair of shorts at the gym.

You were pulling a little pose, flexing your muscles in front of a mirror, a shy little blush across your cheeks.

Stolas' swallowed, his throat suddenly very dry.

He rubbed his thighs together as he fantasised about licking the sweat off your abs.

With a shake to his head, he decided now was a good time to get out of bed.

Leaving his phone as he went and took a nice long shower.

A nice long, cold shower.

Getting out, he chose a more casual outfit.

An old T-shirt and some jeans he reserved for comfy home clothes. He didn't have anywhere to be.

He made his way to the kitchen, where he found Octavia sitting at the table.

The more calculating part of his brain told him to just leave her alone, but he decided against it. He shouldn't hide from his daughter, she needed to know he was still there for her 'Hello darling, how did you sleep.' He asked pleasantly.

Octavia looked up at him, her eyes looking cold and annoyed. So, not all to different from her usual teenage gaze.

'I slept fine dad.' She sai, her voice dull and lifless, before looking back down at her phone.

Stolas swelled with joy.

His daughter was speaking to him again. Everything seemed seemed to be getting better for him.

Pouring himself a bowl of serial, he took a rather lecherous lstroll down memory lane, Thinking about his time with you.

He didn't know how long he'd been thinking about you, but he was quickly pulled out of it when he felt something hit him on the back.

The clanging of cutlery that followed soon after gave him a good idea of what it was.

Turning around he found a rather angry teenage owl glaring at him.

Before he could ask what was wrong. The owlet released a frustrated growl. 'Can you just not?' She asked rhetorically.

Running down her face she told him 'I have do deal with you and Mums B.S. all the time, can you just not fantasise about your fuckin Blitzy~ in front of me.'

She fell back into her seat with a huff.

Stolas was a little shocked. He hadn't thought his beloved daughter could be so course.

'I-I... I didn't realise I was being so bothersome.' He said, sounding perhaps a bit to wounded.

Octavia sighed, 'Can you just not in the kitchen. Where we eat, please?' She asked, going back to her breakfast.

Stolas sighed, picking up his now soggy bowl of serial. 'How long had I been in that state?' He asked himself.

'Five minutes' answered Octavia not looking up from her phone.

'Oh' he said to himself, taking the bowl he poured it into the trash. 'Well that's disgusting.'

He chuckled to himself. Looking over his shoulder he said 'Well, I'm sure you'll be happy to hear you won't be hearing much about Blitzø... ever again.' He told her being perhaps a little vitriolic.

Getting a cup from the cupboard, he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Walking over to Octavia he went to take a seat, but stopped upon seeing her distrustful gaze.

Taking a seat he sighed. 'Octavia, darling... I know these past few weeks haven't been easy on you. And I know much of that-" He had to stop as Octavia glared daggers at him. "...All of it, was my fault. But I promise, things will get better... for both of us.' He took her hand into his own. 'I promise.'

Octavia looked up at him, she looked so startled by his words.

It seemed like she was gonna say something, dew drops forming in the corners of her eyes.

He was about to say something when Octavia shot up and ran away.

Stolas sat there. For a long while. His conversation running over in his mind.

Taking a drink from his coffee he stood up, put his cup in the sink and left.

He found himself in his garden, perhaps the last place he still felt at home on the palace grounds.

Trying to calm himself down went about his usual grooming routine.

Trimming bushes, feeding his plants, pulling weeds and just general plant care.

And as much as his plants soothed his nerves,, he could feel his mood shifting.

The depression beganing to invade his thoughts.

He felt himself become that miserable husk that got shoved out of Blitzøs office.

He clutched his head, hunching over on the brink of tears. His thoughts became like daggers, stabbing into his thoughts.

But before he could shed a tear, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Pulling it out, he found it was a call from you.

In something of a surprised stupor, he answered the call. He tried to clear the emotion from his voice before saying 'Hello?'

'Stolas? Are you okay? You sound upset.' You asked him, concern in your voice.

'(Y/N)?! I... I'm...' he was going to tell you some fluff story, pretending he was fine and probably throwing a few lewd innuendos I'm there.

But, he choked... He just couldn't.

'No... No I'm not okay.' He told you, on the brink of tears. 'I feel like everything is broken and it's all my fault.'

You took a moment to respond, clearing your throat you said. 'Stolas... why did you sleep with Blitzø?'

Stolas was taken aback, 'P-Pardon?'

You sighed, 'Did you want to hurt your family when you chose to sleep with Blitzø?'

Bringing up it was he who made of decision to sleep with Blitzø, made his self loathing grow like a fire.

'N-No!' He told you 'I would never want to hurt my family...'

'Its alright Stolas, I know you wouldn't want to hurt them... But you slept with him for a reason Stolas, you need to know what it is.'

Stolas wasn't sure how to answer, he didn't really know the answer. He could lie, tell you it was just a spur of the moment decision, but that just wasn't true.

'I-I don't know.' He stated, more then said. 'I don't know why I did it... I just... don't know.'

He sat there for several moments, his mind going into overdrive as he thought over the question.

'Its alright Stolas, I believe you. But you need to figure it out, this is something that will haunt you until you figure it out." You told him, trying your best to be serious.

Stolas wiped his eyes, before asking you, 'why did you call (Y/n)? I... don't remember giving you my number!' He mumbled out, rubbing his eye.

You coughed, clearing your throat, 'Don't worry about that. I actually called you because, well I mean, I was wondering, if maybe you wanted to do something tomorrow?' You asked him, voice thick with bashfulness.

Stolas was really taken aback, 'You... You want to do something... With me?' He asked incredulously.

You chuckled on the other end of the phone. 'If I were there right now, Stolas, I'd probably boop you right on a nose.' You tell him through a smile.

'I'd love to do something!' Stolas practically cheered. You chuckled, before telling him 'Great, Ive already got an idea, but if youd like to do-'

Before you could finish your note, Stolas shouted, 'I'd love Too!'

Stolas quickly calmed down, before clearing his throat, 'Sorry... I mean, I'd love to do whatever you had in mind.' He said, cringing at how desperate he'd sounded.

'Good to hear' You chuckled, 'Well, there's this great wine place I know that makes the best little pizzas, and I, uh, wanted to share it with you.'

Your words sent a wave of ecstasy through his body. You not only wanted to spend time with him but actively sought him out to spend time with him.

You were everything he wished Blitzø was.

And he loved it.

He didn't need Blitzø.

He had you now.

'Of course (Y/N), It would be my pleasure to spend some time with you.' He told you, biting his lip.

He felt like a school girl with her first crush, a youthful giddiness clouded his mind.

'Oh? Well I've got tomorrow off, does that work for you? We can do it another day if your busy.' You told him, concern clear in your voice.

It was Stolas' turn to laugh at the tone in your voice.

'I don't have anything on tomorrow, so I'd love to accompany you to yor wine and pizza place. Nothing would make me happier.' He told you earnestly.

He could hear the smile in your voice, as you told him. 'Well, I'm happy to hear that. I'll send you the address later today, call me if you need any directions... I'll see you then, Stolas.'

'I...' Stolas wanted to tell you how much he loved you, just how much joy you brought him with one simple phone call.

He wanted to tell you, but didn't have the words.

As he tried to manifest the words he needed, he heard say through the phone.

'Its alright Stolas. I look forward to seeing you too.'

You told him simply, Stolas just sighed. How you always knew what he was trying to say.

'I'll see you tomorrow, My Beloved.' he told you before you hung up.

Hearing the tell tale dial tone, looking down at the phone, your image in the caller I.D. bringing a smile to his face.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #402

“there’s a space kept in hell with your name on the seat  /  with a spike in the chair just to make it complete”

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? Not an injury, per se, but I've had at least one ear piercing get infected during the healing process. Shit sucks ass. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? "Savior" by SWARM. Are you considered popular at school? I wasn't. If you could host your own talk show, would you do it? No. I've got nothing interesting to talk about. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? I honestly don't know if I could with how squeamish I am about sharing food, even with family. And we're talking about sharing food that's been in the TRASH. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I do. Which one of your senses would you be the most devastated to lose? I THINK hearing. I hate silence, so that would just be... haunting. I want to be able to hear people's voices and other sounds. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I have no idea. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? God no. They're divorced for a reason. Have you ever read any of Charles Darwin’s works? No. If there was such a thing as a mental health first aid kit, what would you want to be in it? Some ice cream and a Mountain Dew bc I'm an emotional eater, my "graduation" pebble from my partial hospitalization program to remember how far I've come, some cold water to run over my face (or drink), my iPod for music and phone to watch YouTube, a nice, big blanket to turn into a burrito in... that kind of stuff. If you’re in a relationship, are you happy? And if you’re single, are you looking for someone? I'm not actively searching for anyone, no. What is something that people make fun of you for? Always being on the computer. It makes me EXTREMELY self-conscious, and I really wish people would keep their mouths shut about it. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? Wal-Mart. Have you ever been told that your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn’t good enough for you? In the past. Do you think it’s okay to flirt with someone that’s already taken, as long as it goes no further? Fuck no. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP. Someone attractive is staring at you. What do you do? Probably just kinda smile and blush and look down/away. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? *shrug* Favorite photo search engine? Tumblr for gifs, Google or Pinterest for still images, depending on what I'm looking for. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? I'll do both, I think? It's been too long since I've swum. Ever made a snow angel? Ye-ep. Would you ever take up smoking? No. I like having operational lungs. Do you laugh at racial jokes? No. Hate to break it to ya, but they're not funny. Book series you enjoyed reading recently? I've been loving Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland, even if I'm reading very slowly. My psychiatrist has given me a new way to approach my hobbies I have difficulty engaging in, so I'm hoping if I keep it up, my rate of reading will speed up! Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? Ahaha, yeah... "a," "s," and "d." A true gamer. How "w" is still alive, I couldn't tell ya. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Sour Punch Straws, probably. The red ones, in specific. Last person you texted? My mom. What did you learn from your first job? That I can't work with people. Favorite website from your childhood? I was a Webkinz A D D I C T. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry came to mind very quickly. Least favorite pattern? uhhhhhhh Favorite potato food? Either French fries or Lays wavy potato chips. PC or console gaming? I grew up as a console gamer, so I'm kinda biased. Writing or drawing? Don't make me choose!! I get more satisfaction out of drawing something I'm proud of, but I do way more writing. Who would you put before everyone else? My mom, probably. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Fairy lights are so cute. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? I shit you not, none. What is your third favourite colour? Hm. Maybe rose gold, or lilac. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I'm really not sure, but I WANT to say it was one of those slide-y, compact Blueberry ones? Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? The Cheshire Cat has always been very alluring to me. What is the last thing you looked up online? The definition to a word just to ensure I was using it correctly. Have you ever had your fortune read? No. I ain't wasting time or money on that shit. Can you read tarot cards? If you couldn't guess from above, I have zero faith in this kinda stuff, so I don't care to learn. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. I like lime flavoring in some stuff, though. Are your expecting anything in the mail? No. What would you like to see out of your window everyday instead of what you see now? The forest. Do you own a camera? I do, a Canon EOS Rebel T6. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yes. Early into our relationship, Jason lent me a book to read, and I wrote a lil love letter in it for him. Do you have any artistic talents? I mean I like to think I'm a good writer and a decent artist. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT with Girt. It was fun because he's a horror pansy, haha. He did fine, though. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant? Freak the fuck out because I haven't had sex in many years, so that thing's coming the fuck out 'cuz it obviously ain't natural. Favorite thing to get at McDonalds? Look man, I'm shameless, I love me a Quarter Pounder w/ cheese. Plus some fries. :x Do you know anyone named Alex? I know multiple people named Alex, actually. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. In other words, it's been a loooong time.Would you ever record yourself having sex? God no. Like zero judgment to the people that do, but I get NOTHING out of watching others "do it." I've never actually tried watching porn, but I couldn't have less interest. I know I'd hate it, and a lot. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? I don't think it did, anyway. Have you or would you ever use a dating app? One of my most embarrassing secrets is that I was briefly on Christian Mingle. It makes me want to cringe into fucking oblivion. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He's... a character. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? That time fucking flies, so cherish every millisecond. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? Not really. Even when I was sexually active, I was private about that stuff. I don't care if others talk to me about theirs, but odds are I'm not saying much about myself. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? I've never had a bad interview, but I mean, I've only had I wanna say four in my whole life. None were anything special either, though. Ever put someone else in the hospital? No. Have you ever sold anything on eBay? If so, what? No. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Finding a container of puppy chow underneath the Christmas tree one year. It was my parents' way of telling me we were getting a dog (which I had been nagging them about FOREVER), and next came Teddy. <3 I miss my boy. Is someone in love with you? I wouldn't know. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? That's a hard no. Do you wear cologne/perfume/aftershave regularly? No. Do you snore? No, actually. Pretty astonishing for someone with such severe sleep apnea. When is the last time someone else slept in your bed? When Sara last visited. How often do you dust? Not... nearly enough as I'm supposed to. Mom gets on me about it all the time. What is the most ‘extreme’ activity you have ever done? Ha, nothing wild, I assure you. I guess riding a four-wheeler through the woods once with our former neighbors, who were good friends of ours.. Have you ever rode on a mobility scooter/wheelchair just for fun? Um, no? That's a jackass thing to do. Some people actually need those. Who’s the most controlling person you know? OH MY FUCKING GOD. OUR FAMILY FRIEND TOBEY. EASILY. She seizes control of EVERY situation, even if she has no right to be involved in it. Does anyone keep a photo of you in their purse/wallet, and if so, who? Not to my knowledge. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do! I like arriving in time to see them. Have you ever been burgled? No, thankfully. Have you ever entered anything into Urban Dictionary? If so, what? No. What’s the last live performance you watched on TV? No idea. Have you ever been embarrassed to buy something from a shop? Not to my recollection. It helps that I'm not the one buying things, like ever. What’s the name of one of your friends’ dogs? Buster! :') He's a precious lil bean. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A GIANT CENTIPEDE. That's one pet in the invert community that I have ZERO interest in EVER owning. Those bitches are scary. Have you ever needed to wear a tie? If so, when/why? Nope.

[angelicspaceprince]

Dancing With Alice

Author: Ama

Title: Dancing with Alice

Pairing: Dewey Finn/Reader

Character/s: Dewey Finn

Word Count: 1, 192 words

Warnings: Postnatal depression, it’s hinted at pretty heavily in here, adjusting to new baby, stuff like that. But it’s cute I promise

Tags: @imma-fucking-nerd

Prompt: All Dewey ever wanted was to be a father, thankfully you want kids too. However, neither of you expected the adjustment period to be so hard.

Notes: Okay so all postnatal depression stuff and labour talk, that comes from the many a rant my mother has given me about what happened when I was born only it was toned down slightly and some info was removed. Let’s just say, it wasn’t nice lol. Anyway, hope y’all enjoy.

Buy Me a Coffee

Dancing with Alice

Dewey had always wanted kids. For as long as he could remember, he wanted to be a Dad. On your third date, he brought it up and was relieved to discover you wanted kids too.

It took awhile for you to fall pregnant when you eventually agreed that it was time to start trying. A year passed before, finally, you got past the three month mark. You and Dewey were ecstatic, Dewey helped every step of the way. Every time you were sick, he was there holding your hair and rubbing you back, whispering words of encouragement as you proceed to puke your guts up. Any restrictions that came along with being pregnant? He gave them up too. He gave up coffee for you. That’s a sign of true love right there in his eyes. Every appointment, he was there holding your hand and trying to control his nerves and stop his jiggling legs. He had his phone on him always during the months leading up to your due date, ready to drop everything the moment you went into labour.

The second you were brought into the hospital, he was there, stressed but excited. The baby was finally going to be here!

The 18 hour labour was exhausting for the both of you. Neither of you slept much, you because of the pain and him because of the stress of seeing you in pain. But, after 52 hours where Dewey is sure you shattered all ten of his fingers, your baby daughter is born. Alice, named after both the singer and the character. You passed out shortly after she was taken to be weighed and measured, so when they came back, Dewey was the first to hold her.

He had tears in his eyes as he looked down at her. She was perfect.

You left the hospital three days later, baby in your arms as you walk out the door together.

You had figured that most of the night time crying would fall down to you to take care of as Dewey was still working full time. You were wrong. Most of the time, Dewey was the first one up, beside her cot in seconds, reassuring Alice that everything was okay, Daddy’s here, before doing what was needed until she was back asleep.

When she started teething, that’s when things started to get bad. Every waking moment she was crying, no matter what either of you did, she just cried. It made you feel like a failure. It got to the point where if she started crying, so did you just on reflex. You dreaded being awake and dealing with tears but you were a mother. This was your job. So you got up and did what had to be done. Dewey would hold you close when you came back to bed and just let you cry out your frustration. He assured you that you were a good mother (you weren’t), every child goes through this (no they don’t), we’ll be fine (you hope), it’s all gonna be fine.

It pained Dewey to see you hurting so much, even if he knew it was only temporary. When you got struck down with the flu, that was the last straw. He took his two weeks vacation time to take care of both you and Alice, telling you that in order to get better you need to rest. You complained but eventually, as you got sicker, you were too tired to argue.

Dewey took over everything as you recovered. He made sure you took your medications, ate and drank. He’d feed, change and entertained Alice so you could nap, even though he also struggled to get the crying under control. When the two weeks vacation time was up, he started using his sick leave, then went to unpaid time off. Not that you knew, he just let you rest and recover.

It took you four weeks and two rounds of antibiotics for the ‘flu’ (which was actually a pretty severe infection) to clear up. The school had graciously allowed Dewey an extra week off to help you get back into the swing of things, claiming it to be ‘delayed paid paternity leave’, meaning the entire five weeks off were paid, something he was eternally grateful for. You had quickly jumped back into the swing of being a full time mother again, and as if Alice read the room, her outbursts of tears halted once you were well enough to hold her close again, wailing turned into babbling and cooing. Both you and Dewey let out a collective sigh of relief.

The day before he was due to go back, Alice started crying at 4am. You groaned and rolled to get out of bed only to hear a faint ‘I’ve got it sweets.’ and to feel the bed dip as Dewey gets up with a yawn to go see what his daughter wants.

30 minutes passed and he wasn’t back, and you couldn’t fall back asleep. With a grumble, you get up to see what Dewey was doing and if he needed any help.

What you found was adorable. A sleep deprived, disheveled Dewey in his mismatched socks, Metallica boxers and egg and bacon smiley face shirt dancing around your kitchen with a very awake and talkative Alice resting on his shoulder as he hums a made up tune, occasionally singing along, bouncing her to the beat.

“Why won’t you sleep? Daddy wants to go back to sleep. Mommy’s in bed, it’s cold, this act is getting pretty old.” He sings along to his improvised tune, too out of it to see you walking up next to him.

“Should put that on a record, Dew. Go platinum in a few weeks.” You tease, moving up to look at your now giggling baby girl. She had just hit seven months this week and she was yet to sleep through the night without at least one outburst somewhere in the early morning. “You keeping Daddy up? You know he has to work tomorrow.” You tease, going to grab her from Dewey to take over. “Go back to bed, love, get another hour of shut eye, I got this.” You lean up to give him a quick peck on his lips, a dopey smile appearing on his half asleep face as he moves to rest his hands on your waist, swaying you slightly.

“I’d rather stay here.” He states. “Lemme dance with you awhile.” He hums a new, slower tune as the two of you sway in the kitchen, a giggling Alice slowly growing silent as she falls asleep with her head resting on your shoulder.

You hear his raspy voice start to sing, still very much sleep filled as he sings for you and Alice, the both of you just enjoying the still, quiet moment with the three of you swaying in the kitchen, not quite ready to face the day but happy to spend it together regardless.

“Got nothin’ to lose But everything to prove Ignoring the morning blues Just as the sun begins to break through Just let me spend my morning Dancing with Alice”

[sweetlyocs]

sunshine

«part one» pairing: reader x Holland family words: 2071 warnings: none as of right now, just softness? a/n: here is the first actual chapter of sunshine - if you want to be tagged feel free to send me a message or ask so I can add you into a document for it! 

The air smelt fresh, the trees and grass still held dew from the cool night prior to my arrival. The streets were quiet, but what else was to be expected - it was only 5:48 in the morning. No one would really be out of bed, no one that you knew anyways.

“Here ya go m’love. Are you sure someones gon be home? It seems awfully quiet in there...” The kind and worn voice evicted you from your mind. “Oh, no I’ll be fine. Thank you though, I’m sure you’re awfully tired after a busy night.” Sharing a smile with the taxi driver, you handed him the money, with a sweet tip for his troubles.

You slowly made your way through the gate of the silent house, beginning to feel the sun peek through the dense cloud. Quietly, you began fishing through the flower pots to find the hidden key to the house, silently and slowly making your way through the front door. Dropping off your bags to the lounge room, you began making your way upstairs. You knew he would be mad with being woken up long before he intended but you missed him too much.

Shaking your head, a soft smile graced your face, he still slept the same. Slightly diagonal across the bed, holding a pillow under his arm, his head barely touching it. The covers were tied around his body, like a snake wrapped around their prey to keep them still. Steadily, you made your way over to his body, reaching out a hand and stroking his mop of hair.

“Sam...Saam...Sammy, wake up bear. Come on, wakey wakey. Say hello to your sunshineee… Sam. Sam!” As hands began swatting you away, grumbles and gurgling met your ears, and yet he wondered why you kept that same little name for him. He truly was like a bear in so many ways. “Sam come on... Wake up”

Shifting in his bed, his eyes began fluttering open. You could see the exhaustion in him, his eyes still clouded with sleep.

“YN? What the hell are you doing here.. Is this a dream?” Shifting slightly to make sure you were completely in his line of sight. You spoke to him in a soft yet lovingly mocking way, “Awe you dream of me? You’re adorable Sam!”

You let out a laugh as a smile began to grow on his face. Shaking his head, Sam began to sit up on his bed. His hands rose to his face, rubbing at his eyes then finding their way to his bed in an attempt to keep his balance. Whilst his focus was on trying to wake himself up more, you focused on how much he had changed. Sam had grown into more of a man while you had been apart, his face began to lose more of it’s boyish charm but it was still the same one that made you smile when he overreacted to the slightest things. His hair had grown a fair bit, you liked it when it was longer. Being able to run your fingers through it had always been an easy way to calm yourself in moments of stress. His shoulders had begun to broaden too, when that happened you weren’t sure, but it was something that caught you off guard. He was still that little boy though, the one that made you smile and helped you break out of your shell. He kept you safe, and sane a lot more than he thought, forever being the one thing in your mind that made you feel like everything was okay. The same boy whose existence in your life had you being thankful for every moment you had with him. You had no idea what you would’ve done if he wasn’t around anymore.

“Come here then you weirdo, give us a hug. I’ve missed you so freaking much!” Sitting down on his bed you couldn’t help but melt into his arms. The smell of his favourite cologne filtered through your system, the warmth and security that was felt through his arms was more than welcomed.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw you to be completely honest” Pulling back you looked into Sam’s eyes, cupping his face, you realised just how much you missed him. You thought back to how lost and scared you had been feeling, with just that moment though, the bad memories and sense of uneasiness dissipated. You were here, with Sam. A shirtless and more built Sam.. what the hell happened to your little bear?

“What’s with the face sunshine? You look confused…” The worry was easy to detect in his voice.

“When did you get hot?” The words seemed to tumble out of your mouth on their own accord. All you were met with was laughter so loud it rang through your ears and your entire body.

“Man I’ve missed you..” He said softly.

Sitting in the kitchen as you waited for everyone else to wake up, you couldn’t help but look around and notice all the small changes that had been made in your absence. The clock had changed, the vase was moved to another table, pictures had been swapped and changed but it still felt like home. Movement could be heard through the house, doors opening and closing, hushed yells that began to grow in strength. Sam’s name being called as you connected eyes across the kitchen, both of you smiling into your mugs of steaming tea.

“Oi Sam! Have you seen my hoodie? The grey one? I can’t seem to fi- holy fucking hell, Y/N is that you?” Arms locked themselves around you, pulling you closer than you thought possible. “Hi Harry! Sorry, it seems that I’ve stolen yet another Holland hoodie... Goodness I’ve missed you so much. Your hair’s gotten curlier I see”

Smiling at the sight of freckles and curls, wiping them out of the way of his eyes, you truly forgot how much time had passed since you’d seen them in person. You were met with kind eyes and a soft voice as he sat down next to you, stealing your drink and wrapping an arm around you as he answered your questions.

“Harry what have I told you about swea- oh hello love, did you have a nice flight? You look awfully pale, have you had something to eat yet?” Nikki was the next to venture into the room, age was embracing her like sunlight to a blooming flower. She was every part the amazing woman that you wished and aspired to be, and an even greater mother. You were forever thankful that she adopted you into her loving and supportive family.

“Wait, Mum... you knew she was coming?” Sam’s puzzled voice broke through the chaos that was the Holland house.

“Of course I did, just because she wanted to surprise all you boys doesn’t mean I didn’t know! Plus who do you think sent us the invitations for that gala in a few days hmm?”

Collective groans were heard through the room as the gala was mentioned. Nikki walked through to the kettle as she shook her head, the three young adults seemed to miss the smile that fell onto her lips as she did so though. Their voices being drowned out by her as she made some tea and breakfast.

“Well if that was Harry’s reaction to seeing you I can’t wait for Pads to come back from Tom’s place, he’s gonna have a bloody heart attack!” Sam laughed out. Harry soon joining in as you hit his arm. “Oi! Watch it there pretty lady..” He laughed at you.

“If you think Pads is going to have a big reaction wait til’ Tom sees her, now that is going to be good,” Harry spoke aloud as he took another sip of tea.

“What’s that meant to mean?” You spoke out with some confusion, surely you hadn’t missed too much...or grown too much?

“Bloody hell you don’t remember?” Sam laughed out. “Sunshine, he thought the sun shined out ya ass. And we swore you had the biggest crush on him, you and Tom were one hunned percent endgame, swear!”

“Me? Crush on T? You’re insane! No, if it was anyone I had a crush on it was Harry... Oi! Watch where you’re choking on that tea dickhead.” You were able to move away from Harry as he spluttered with the still hot liquid. “Anyways,” You continued whilst rolling your eyes, “What do you mean Sam? I was nothing but a shy teenager who freaked out when people even looked her in the eye. I was terrified of Twaine when I first met him too, don’t you remember?”

All that you were met with was a string of laughter from the twins, you rolled your eyes and took your mug from Harry’s hands into your own. “Oh shut up you two!”

Almost an hour later a young lad came barrelling through the door whining, “-s, so you’re wrong tom! And you lost and you’re being nothing but a sore loser because, because!”

“Because he’s awfully upset that you’re the best looking Holland boy in the family Pads. Isn’t that right T?”

Now Patrick Holland was many things, he was strong, sensitive, extremely kind and super loud. Those were a few things many people who knew him understood. But one thing that some didn’t know concerned you, you were his favourite person in the entire world, next to his mum of course. His brothers and dad couldn’t begin to touch the mantle that you were on, which was hilarious to both you and Nikki because you had only been in his life since he was seven. So that was roughly seven going on eight years of his life. No one thought his head could turn so fast, but as his eyes met yours and his brain processed what he could see right in front of him, tears were already forming. For the both of you.

“YN? Is it really you?” The slight nod of your head was all that he needed to run at you and slam right into your chest.

You held onto him tightly. He had been so much smaller the last time you saw him, you swore it. Now, however, he was coming into his full blown teen years. He wasn’t the tiny little boy who wanted to teach you how to properly take down his brothers in a game of soccer, or the same boy who used to run to you to have you sing his favourite songs when he was sick. He didn’t need you to hold him tight when a huge storm rolled through the quiet nights, but you relished in the fact that he missed you. He wasn’t scared to run and hug you, or the fact that he had tears forming in his eyes at the sight of you. In a few ways he was still your sweet little freckled angel, that you swore you would protect until your dying breath. He meant that much to you.

Lifting your head you made eye contact with the eldest Holland, smiling at his shocked face, you looked at how much of a man, an extremely good looking and attractive man, that Tom had become.

“Hey T, spiderman treating you well then is he? Sure looks like it!”

You sent him a small wink and laughed at how his face morphed from shock to smugness and sass. “Well it looks like the academy has been treating you more than fine too, hmm. I see your confidence has grown.”

Letting go of Paddy and walking towards Tom, you pulled him into a hug as well. “You sure that’s all you notice that’s grown since we saw each other last?”

He was laughing slightly at your comment, with that same boyish grin he had since the moment you met him. He rolled his eyes at your comment and laid his arm around your shoulders.

“Missed you too sweetheart...” Walking into the kitchen with you under his arm, he began quizzing you on everything you had been up to. The conversation between all of you seemed neverending, like you had never stepped out of each others lives.

You had missed this, you wish that it never had to end, but eventually, the sun must set…  

{tags: @upsidedownparker 

[writings-of-a-narwhal]

Frosted Eyes: Chapter Three - The Journey

[a Warrior Cats AU for Broken Thrones.  can be found on wattpad]

[prologue] [one] [two]

Paw steps on wet grass and crickets chirping are the only noises. Not even the wind makes a noise, there’s no grass rustling or whistling in her ears. Rose sighs. Head heavy, paws aching, and a pain that punctures her heart every time she breathes, she can barely make herself walk, but she must. She couldn’t bear saying goodbye to her dads. Not after the walk they had yesterday…

So she crept off in the middle of the night, just as she did when she ended up at the Moonstone, at least that’s what Ravenpaw called it. She’s fairly certain they were both awake when she left, but neither Ravenpaw nor Barley tried to stop her, thankfully. Now, though, she’s cold and alone, venturing into land that she’s never been before. 

It’s terrifying. 

She thought that Lionclaw would be there, walking beside her. She laughs to herself. That was a childish thought, wasn’t it? He hadn’t been with her all these moons except for that one dream and suddenly she thinks that he’s going to be at her side, leading her the way her dads would. Now she has neither Lionclaw nor her dads. It’s just her and the night air. 

Ears back, she tries to force those thoughts out of her head. She has to do this. She has to tell the Clans of this prophecy, no matter what. It’s her mission. 

“You’re so strong, Rosie…”

She stops in her tracks, a warm scent surrounding her. “Lionclaw!”

A purr fills her ears, overwhelms all the other sounds around her. “Of course, Rosie, I could never leave you to be on your own. Nothing will part us again, I promise.”

Rose lets out a purr herself, rubbing against Lionclaw and burying herself in his thick fur. 

“Come on, then, Rosie, we have to get going if we want to make any progress in our journey tonight.”

“Right!” she purrs, prancing away from Lionclaw, her legs getting tangled and her chin hitting the ground. She huffs and sits up, then stands.

Lionclaw laughs, “Just as clumsy as ever.”

Rose huffs again but can’t help the grin on her face.

As she walks, Lionclaw’s scent leads her, but he himself doesn’t. His ‘solid’ form fades, yet she doesn’t feel alone. He stays by her side, or he might as well be by her side as his warmth is everywhere around her, the one comfort she has as she walks through the unfamiliar terrain. 

Squeaks reach her ear, as do the hoots of owls and other noises that she can’t quite put a name to. It’s spooky, and Rose wishes desperately for Ravenpaw and Barley to be here at her side to lead her through the land and tell her she’ll be fine. Yes, she has Lionclaw and his ‘presence’ is comforting...but it’s not the same. Having him around is not the same as having her dads with her. She should’ve known it wouldn’t be the same. Her heart already aches for her dads, and she’s only just left them.

Rose sighs and keeps walking.

Her paws start to burn, every step making her want to groan and whine, but after a while they begin to go numb, and that feeling begins to creep up her legs. It’s barely dawn when it gets to the point where she feels she has to stop. The smell of dawn washes over her, bringing her just enough energy for her to be able to find a place to settle down to rest, a little dip in the land where the grass is lush and no dangerous smells linger. 

Dew from the grass makes her shiver, but Rose couldn’t care less about it. All that matters is that she has a fairly comfortable place to sleep.

The next few days follow a similar pattern. She wakes, walks until she almost collapses, and when she smells prey she does her best to hunt  it. Though, some of the time she has to scavenge for food as she isn’t the best hunter out there. It’s a bit disgusting, and not nearly as easy as she believed it would be, but she’s surviving. She’s walking and making her way toward the Clans. At least, she thinks she is. Lionclaw’s scent is still leading her, as faint as it seems now.

On the morning of the fourth day away from the barn, she comes across a Thunderpath. The smell is overwhelming, it suffocates her. Much worse than the Thunderpath between the barn and Highstones. It’s so much louder, like a bunch of bees buzzing in her head and then more. The ground beneath her trembles but her body shakes even more.

Still, she keeps walking. 

The closer to the Thunderpath she gets, the more her senses leave her. Almost she stops walking, but a breeze hits her from below where the Thunderpath should be and she turns to follow it. 

Her paws hit water and the pads on them burn, just as the smell of said water burns her nose. It stinks horribly, but it seems to be a way through that’s better than crossing the Thunderpath. And if it were the wrong way to go, Lionclaw would tell her, right? So she continues through the  tunnel, weaving between harsh bars that are on either end of the tunnel. 

On the other side, she bolts, the smell of Twolegs stronger here than it was on the other side, hoping that she’s not leading herself onto another Thunderpath.  And luckily she isn’t. Her paws hit grass that goes from short and harsh to tall and soft. She heaves a sigh of relief, heart pounding in her chest. 

She never wants to be anywhere near a place like that again. 

With an aching body and claws tearing at the inside of her stomach, she continues on through the grass. She does stop to hunt, and as terrible of a hunter as she is, she catches a mouse that fills her belly with warmth the way no other mouse has ever done before. 

She lays in the field, soaking in the warmth of the sun, letting her paws rest and her heart calm. Birds chirp above her, a kind sound, familiar. Stretching out, she lets herself drift off into the first fairly peaceful sleep she’s had since leaving the barn. 

At sunset she wakes, and by nightfall she has travelled through the field she slept in and arrived at a new place; one with smell that she doesn’t recognize, along with the faint smells of Twolegs and dogs. 

Tentatively, she moves forward, slinking under a fence of wood. A few tail-lengths into the sectioned off field, she can tell that the creatures inside are much bigger than her, but also that they’re quiet and not moving around too much. Keeping low to the ground, she creeps between the legs of the creatures, jumping at every slight noise around her.

After reaching the edge of the herd of creatures, Rose breaks into a run. She runs and runs and runs until she reaches the other end of the sectioned field, squeezing herself under the fence once more. And once she passes that fence, it’s only a foxlength to yet another Thunderpath.

She sits just beyond the edge of the Thunderpath, head hanging, chest heaving, and throat aching. 

Why do Twolegs build so many of these things everywhere? Why?

She wants to cry.

But, after catching her breath, Rose forces herself to her feet and runs across the Thunderpath, not even checking if there’s a monster coming to kill her. She can’t tell if the roaring is from a monster or the blood pounding in her ears. Even after she crosses, the smell of monsters lingers around her, Twolegs are everywhere, and the ground burns her paws with every step she takes.

Beneath those smells, though, are the scents of cats, at least three. She’s not sure whether to run toward or away from them. They could attack and chase her off or they could be welcoming...or neither. She doesn’t have a chance to make the decision, as she realizes too late she’s right next to the source of the cat smells.

Rose tries to back away, fur on her back raised, tail puffed with fear. 

“Woah there, kit,” one of the cats says, but it’s not enough to calm Rose down. He might not sound aggressive, but that doesn’t mean the others are friendly. 

Ears pressed against her head, she takes a step back. Something rushes toward her, grabbing the scruff of her neck and yanks her toward were she was a moment ago. She squeaks, claws at the air, but it’s to no avail. Nothing except dirt gets between her claws. 

“That was a close one,” he mews, releasing Rose from his grip. “M’ name’s Diesel, by the way.”

“I-I’m Rose.” She lifts her nose. He smells of Twolegs and monsters and he carries the scent of two other cats.

“Where are you trying to get to, Rose?”

“Oh, uhm,” she hesitates, wondering if this cat will actually help or if he’ll just think she’s crazy. Well, she has nothing to lose. “I’m looking for a big group of cats, uh, they’re near the place where the sun drowns.”

“Huh.”

Anxiety wraps itself around Rose’s heart. “Wh-what?”

“You’re the third cat to say you’re looking for that place.”

“Really?!” Her heart pounds. There’s more than just her looking for the Clans?

“Yeah, the others are inside. Follow me.”

Paws feeling lighter than they have in days, Rose trots after Diesel, following him into a space between two large structures. Twoleg buildings, she assumes. It smells like crow-food over here, but the smell of other cats is stronger.

“Graystripe, Millie, there’s someone here lookin’ for the same place as you two are.” 

“Really?” comes the voice of another tom cat, curiosity filling the air, but Rose can also detect pain in his voice.

“This is Rose, she said she’s lookin’ for a group of cats near the sun-drown place.”

“Rose,” the tom breathes, “Millie, isn’t that the cat that Ravenpaw told us about?”

Instantly Rose’s ears perk up. “Ravenpaw? You saw him? When? How is he? What about Barley?”

“It was two dawns ago when we stopped at the barn, Ravenpaw said that you had just left them. Him and Barley both seemed like they missed you, and they were worried.”

Rose lowers her head, sitting and wrapping her tail around her paws. “Did he tell you why I left?”

Millie speaks up now, her voice gentle. “He didn’t say exactly why, but he said it was important.”

She nods. Thinking about how her dads makes her throat tighten. I’m sorry, she whispers to them, I’m so sorry…

“You actually got here just in time. Graystripe and I were planning on leaving tonight, if you want to come with us rather than travelling alone…”

“Really? You’ll let me come with you?” 

The idea of not being alone makes Rose’s heart soar. She’s never been alone for days at a time like this, and it’s like basking in the sun to be offered to travel with someone. And they’re all going to the same place! 

“It’ll be safer if you do some with us,” Graystripe murmurs, and Rose can’t help but wonder what’s going on in his head to cause that tone. 

Rose purrs, all of her exhaustion and weariness forgotten. 

That is, until she realizes that they’re going to be climbing in the back of a monster to travel faster. Diesel is with them, telling them which monster is the one they want to climb on. He says it’s because of the boards on the back of it, whatever that’s supposed to mean. For Rose, she just has to trust him blindly and hope that none of these new cats are going to lead her into something overly dangerous. 

Before she tries to jump on the back of the monster, she thanks Diesel, not only for saving her from being attacked by the monster, but for introducing her to Graystripe and Millie and for being so hospitable towards her. He just flicks her ear with his tail and says it was nothing. 

Then she turns to the monster, the stench of it not registering in her nose any more. She reaches up with her front paws and finds a ledge, which she jumps on, and when she reaches up again, there’s a small ledge and then empty space behind it. She jumps toward the scent of her two new companions. As soon as she’s in the monster, she crouches down next to Graystripe, pressing herself against him for comfort. Whether the comfort is more for her or him, she isn’t sure, all she knows is that both of them are trembling. 

When the monster comes to life, it’s even worse. The wind whips around them, louder than just hearing the monsters roar by on the Thunderpath. She presses closer to Graystripe. Meanwhile, Millie seems to be having the time of her life, enjoying the way the wind tears through her fur. 

It seems like they’re travelling in the monster for moons, but when it slows down, Graystripe says it’s night. They’ve travelled on the back of the monster all day, and Rose hasn’t slept a wink. Luckily, they all climb out of the monster for the night. Rose can’t be bothered with hunting or eating, she just curls up near a wall and falls asleep. 

Waking up is a shock, as she hears yowls and the sounds of fighting all around her. Heart in her throat, she strikes at the unfamiliar scents. Claws rake her side, teeth sink into her skin, but she does the same in response, fighting for her life. Nothing but the pounding of her own heart can be heard. She doesn’t stop her makeshift fighting until the enemies retreat, leaving her with Graystripe and Millie. 

Barely, they have a second to breath when Millie yells out; “Our monster’s leaving!”

Rose takes off after the two bigger cats, but she’s falling behind quickly. Even Graystripe with his hurt shoulder is moving faster than her. She isn’t sure of all that’s happening, but she knows that Millie makes it on the monster, and then Graystripe disappears from in front of her….and she keeps falling further and further behind. Millie is yelling at her to keep running, to keep trying, that she can make it, but Rose knows that’s not true. 

Still, she uses the last of her energy to burst forward and jump. Flying through the air makes her stomach drop and she’s afraid that she might be a goner. But paws and teeth grab her and yank her inside the monster. 

Trembling, she can’t speak.

But she made it.

That’s all that matters. 

let me know if you want to be tagged for this wip !

@roselinproductions | @abalonetea | @jade-island-lives | @cbiom | @bookish-actor | @dogwrites

[skullsandfairylights]

Writer’s Month 2019

Day 31: Setting Prompt: there was only one bed 

It was supposed to be just a quick adventure. Her duties had increased recently; more visits from dignitaries, more events to attend and plan, more lessons on how to rule a kingdom. It was becoming overwhelming and exhausting. She had just needed a break, a little reprieve from her responsibilities, even just a moment of respite.

           So, one night, when she had finished her lessons and had finished dinner with her parents, Emma had hurried back to her rooms. There, she changed into her riding gear and travel cloak, opened her window and then scaled the ivy down. From there, she creeped through the palace gardens unseen (she’d memorised the guards’ patrol patterns years ago).

           Once out of the palace grounds, Emma took a familiar path on autopilot. She barely registered the scenery as she hurried through the shadows. She passed through the town streets, buildings dark as most citizens slept or prepared for bed. She entered the forest, entering the silent world of crickets and owls who were only just waking up, bringing their own world to life.

           Then she arrived at her destination. The clifftop was empty and quiet, the only sound being the crashing of the waves far below. The grass was soft and plush with only a light covering of dew beginning to form. This was her happy place. It was her quiet place. The place where she could just be Emma and not Princess Emma.

           She walked close to the edge and sat herself down in the grass. She stared out, gazing at the dark endless voids of sea and stars. She could feel the tension and stress being pulled out of her with the tide.

           She was so at peace, that sleep took a hold of her and she napped among the grass and stars.

 SNAP!

           Her eyes sprung open. She held herself still as she listened. The wildlife was silent, a clear warning sign. She held her breath, trying to breathe slow and steady. Her hand twitched, hidden beneath her cloak. It inched down to her waist until her fingers wrapped around the hilt of her dagger – a gift for her 16th birthday, two years ago.

           Footsteps quietly made their way towards her. One, two, three, four sets. At least four assailants. Emma tried desperately to remember her self-defence classes that her mother taught. She tried to remember what to do when you were outnumbered. But the fear and panic were setting in. Her mind was foggy from sleep and she had so many thoughts that she couldn’t sort or filter through them all. Everything was a mess.

           Suddenly, a heavy fabric was flung over her and before she could react, something came down on the back of her head, hard and heavy. And then everything was black and silent.

  Waking up, Emma found herself encased in a rough fabric. She was being carried in what felt like a hammock, but whoever was carrying her, was not being gentle. She was jostled and shaken about. She tried to move but found that her wrists and ankles had been tied together tightly with rope and that there was some kind of cloth tight between her teeth.

           Outside, she could hear people talking loudly all around, she could hear seabirds squawking and she could hear waves splashing up against something. Emma considered fighting, considered struggling but with the way that she was bound and with how she couldn’t speak, she figured that her better bet would be to save her strength and energy.

           She was lifted at an angle and the sound of the voices dimmed. There was the sound of thudding on wood – footsteps - and she assumed that she was being taken aboard a ship. There was the screech of metal on metal and then Emma was being thrown roughly to the floor. The rough fabric around her disappeared and her bonds were cut. The metal screeched again, and Emma looked up to find herself in a small cell, the rusted metal gate being locked by three large, muscled men. They sneered at her before storming out of the room, one of them spitting through the bars before he disappeared.

           Great. Mum and dad are never gonna let me forget about this, she thought as she moved to the ‘cleanest’ corner of the room and hugged her knees.

  About two weeks passed and Emma spent her days formulating plans of escape – and excuses that she could relay to her parents when she was free. Because she would get free. Her parents – particularly her mother – had brought Emma up, knowing how to defend herself and what to do in all sorts of situations.

           Her captors ‘fed’ her once a day, a meagre amount which looked like the leftovers from the rest of the crew. They seemed to be a motley bunch; most of them, muscled with a permanent look of anger and aggression but it was like they had all come from different realms. However, many seemed to lack brains and blindly followed orders and were stumped by simple problem-solving tasks, much to Emma’s fortune.

           Guards would be sent to watch her, but they spent more time sipping from their flasks than they did actually watching her. And when they did pay attention to her, all they did was throw slurs and leery gazes her way. They made threats about what would happen to her. They made her ‘propositions’ in exchange for ‘a few moments of freedom’ – she found it laughable that they seemed to think that by saying they’d be “gentle” would change her mind.

           But for the most part, Emma just tried to let the gentle rocking of the ship keep her calm. After all, her escape would be so much more successful if she managed to convince the crew to think her helpless, to underestimate her.

 One morning, Emma was roused by the sounds of shouts and more urgent thudding up on deck. Orders were being thrown around by the higher ups. The undulating motion of the ship began to lessen until it was just a gentle sway. We’re in a port, but where? Emma wondered, pushing herself onto her feet to peer out of the small window. It was daytime, though she wasn’t sure exactly, and all she could see was the open expanse of sea that they had obviously just sailed through.

           The crew all busied themselves, thudding back and forth in a constant motion on deck. Shanties were sung for hours as they worked, and all Emma could do was sit and listen and plan her next move. She watched as the light outside got brighter and then dimmed as night fell. It was only a matter of time.

           When the sun had fully set, the crew all marched off of the ship, whooping and cheering the fact that they were headed to the tavern. The only two left on the ship were Emma and one guard. Now it was time to enact her plan.

           The guard was stationed just outside the door to the cells. “So,” She asked, leaning on the metal bars. “How come you’re stuck here while everyone else gets to go out drinking?”  

           “Shut up.”

           “No, I seriously want to know.”

           “I said, shut up!!

           “Did you draw the short straw? Owe someone a debt? Or do the others really just hate you?”

           The guard stormed towards her, “I said! Shut! Up!” he yelled, pushing his face close up to hers. Emma smirked, reaching forward between the bars and grabbing a hold of the guard’s shoulders. Then with all the strength she had, she yanked him forward, slamming his head against the metal bars. He fell back dazed, and she quickly pulled him forward again, and again until his eyes slipped closed and he sunk to the floor.

           Kneeling down, she quickly unhooked the cell keys from his belt. She let herself out before dragging the guard back into the cell. With quick hands, she ransacked the guard’s unconscious form for all the gold and weapons he had before rushing out of the cell and locking it behind her.

           “Sorry.” She muttered, tilting her head slightly and then running out of the room. She headed up onto the deck, hurrying towards the gangplank leading to the dock. Emma rushed down, desperate to get away, so desperate that she didn’t see the man walking along the pier until she ran right into him.

           She was lucky the man had good balance and was able to steady her, otherwise they both would’ve been thrown back into the water. “Woah, easy there, love.” The man placed his hands on her shoulders and took in the sight of her. Her clothes were dirty and torn, her hair was probably a rat’s nest and she felt like she’d lost weight considered how little she’d been given to eat. “Looks like someone’s given you a rough night. Hope they paid you well.” He quipped, his accent becoming very apparent, and she tried to ignore the effect it had as she embraced the anger that his words brought.

           “How dare you!” She exclaimed. “I. Am not. A whore.” She glared him down, he was attractive, that was clear. Dark hair and bright blue eyes. She decided in that moment, that she would need to keep her guard up with this man. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go!” She shouldered past him but stopped when a hand wrapped around her upper arm.

           “Wait, love, I can’t, in good conscience, let you wander around on your own. There’s some bad sorts around, aye?”

           “I’ll be fine.” She snapped, yanking her arm away from him.

           “Just let me help. Where are you headed?”

           Emma stared at him. “I need to find the Royal Navy. I need them to take me home.”

           The man raised an eyebrow, “The Royal Navy, aye? You’d have to be pretty important for them to just ‘take you home’? Speaking of, where’s home?”

           “The Enchanted Forest.”

           “That’s a long way, love. At least two weeks, sailing, with favourable winds.” The man studied Emma for a few moments before he let out a breath. “Alright, what d’you say we make a deal, love? I’m headed out The Enchanted Forest way at first light. I’ll give you passage on my ship.”

           Emma frowned, “And how am I supposed to trust you? You could be one of those ‘bad sorts’, pirate?”

           “What can I say? I may be a pirate, but I’m still a man with honour.” Suddenly, the man held out his hand, “Forgive me, I haven’t even introduced myself, Captain Killian Jones.”

           Emma hesitated but took his hand, “Emma.” Killian raised an eyebrow. “That’s all you need.”

           “Alright then. . . Emma, let’s get you to the ship, the rest of the crew won’t be back for a few hours. It’ll give you a chance to settle in.” Killian held out his arm and Emma took it, warily, holding herself at a respectable distance. If Killian noticed this, he didn’t say anything. He just led the way along the dock towards a magnificent vessel. He led her up the gangplank then released her arm. Emma walked around the deck, taking in her first proper experience aboard a pirate ship.

           The captain smiled, standing up beside the wheel, as he watched her move about. “When you’re finished looking around, allow me to show you to your quarters.” Emma looked up before heading up to quarterdeck join him. He pulled open a trapdoor and gestured her down.

           It was the captain’s quarters, she realised as she stepped away from the ladder. It was more spacious than she expected. There was a large desk covered in charts in the middle, and a proper block bed against one wall. She wandered over and sat herself down on the bed, scanning her gaze across the room from the window on the back wall around to Killian, standing next to the ladder. “I take it that this is your room?”

           “Aye, we can’t have a lady such as yourself slumming with the men of the ship. It wouldn’t be proper, love.”

           “So, where will you sleep then? If I’ve stolen your room?”

           Killian smirked with that little eyebrow raise, “I could always keep you company, should you desire it.” Emma scoffed and his smirk softened into a smile. “I’ve spent many a night sleeping above deck under the stars. Two weeks willna harm me.”

           The princess-voice in Emma shouted, she couldn’t allow someone to suffer for her sake. Besides, he hadn’t done anything to hurt her yet and she very much doubted that he would. He wasn’t lying, she knew that. Maybe, she could trust him a bit more. “That won’t do.” She glanced back at the bed, realising that it was wider than it first appeared. “Provided you don’t roll in your sleep, we could probably both use the bed.” She kept her face as neutral as possible, she didn’t want to show any weakness, she didn’t want to even consider how big of a deal this actually was.

           The pirate captain smirked, “Not sure that your father would agree with such a prospect.”

           “My father?”

           “Aye, I’d doubt he’d let me keep my head if he heard that his only daughter had shared a bed with a pirate, and I rather like my head where it is, it has all of my good looks.”

           “You know who I am?”

           “Did I recognise the crown princess of The Enchanted Forest? Of course, I did.” Killian leaned up against the edge of his desk. “Your parents should really up their security at those balls. Any old pirate can just walk right in off the street.” Emma poised herself and began to mentally plan an escape. There was a strong chance, with him knowing who she was, that this could end up being very bad for her. He could hold her for ransom or worse. Her face must have betrayed her thoughts because his face softened, “Relax, love. I’m not going to hurt you. I said I was a man of honour and I am. I said I would take you home to The Enchanted Forest and I will. You have my word.”

           “And I’m to trust the word of any old pirate?”

           “No. But you can trust the word of a captain who wanted to change his ways as soon as he saw you.” Emma frowned and Killian let out an amused breath. “You’d have thought I’d been on the rum.” He muttered beneath his breath, before addressing her. “I’ll be on deck, getting some things ready for first light. You get some sleep; I fear you’ve not had an easy couple of weeks. But you’re safe now, love, I promise.”

-=[Additional Notes]=-

Okay, so holy shit! It’s done. I managed to complete this challenge and write/post something every day for a whole month. I find it hard to stick to things but I managed to do this. I’m honestly really proud of myself. It’s gonna feel kinda weird not rushing to make sure that I post something every day but then again, uni is starting up soon so I’ll probably be swamped soon enough. 

But also, I’m sure my followers will be glad to stop seeing me posting original posts every day, haha

[luisneer]

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived. 

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at luisneer@gmail.com. Thank you

    2016

   morgantown has ~48 vape shops

 **morgantown has ~480 vape shops

 siri has werner herzog-like inflections

 considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

 think i remember ~5% of things i said today

 imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

 felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

 just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

 looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

 listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

 feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

 feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

 enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

 felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

 left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

 repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

 strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

 feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

 in winchester, VA

 thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

 thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

 successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

 ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

 feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

 feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

 persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

 psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

 feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

 psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

 imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

 saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

 experiencing difficulty trying to smile

 enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

 intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

 felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

 imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

 enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

 perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

 spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

 feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

 feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

 i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

 i dont like videos

 i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

 simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

 feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

 huge power outage at shepherd lol

 realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

 remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

 feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

 struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

 feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

 crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

 laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

 drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

 just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

 opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

 'camcorder' would be a good band name

 i thought arnold palmer had already died

 willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

 i want to stop being mean

 i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

 wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

 tangled up in myself and others

 twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

 eating shark

 thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

 thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

 had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

 i miss being in therapy

 i love carpet

 i love carpet !!

 just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

 mood lately very fragile

 this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

 all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

 sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

 my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

 fuck, im feeling so much terror

 gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

 the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

 interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

 what if old people have secrets

 my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

 i feel guilty in general

 thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

 im close friends with satan rn

 feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

 from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

 finger

 desk

 coffee cup exterior

 pajama pants

 knee

 carpet

 chin

 phone

 shirt

 shoe

 thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

 feeling shorter, broader

 the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

 is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

 the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

 i like citing things in MLA

 i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

 doesnt seem to be getting later

 lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

 heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

 i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

 crazy how things get worse

 there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

 bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

 weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

 also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

 the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

 the sunlight is obscene

 im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

 im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

 i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

 yr = your ur = you're

 my favorite things are pdfs

 now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

 i hear him but i never see him

 i love latte art, i drink many lattes

 thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

 felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

 went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

 my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

 record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

 i prefer EPs

 felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

 writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

 have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

 the internet isn't big enough

 usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

 "uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

 feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

 the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

 i'm sad

 my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

 was luis neer in odd future

 thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

 becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

 thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

 imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

 how does anyone do it

 in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

 everyone in the world is high except me

 feel like i want to have poems published immediately

 having delusions of grandeur

 im sitting on my record player

 my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

 prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

 my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

 all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

 watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

 my nose feels like it's going to bleed

 im sad because every bf looks like me

 getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

 the internet is too freaky...

 i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

 im watching the angry birds movie

 the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

 ive never had a new years kiss

   2017

   im weird

 eating medicinal ice cream

 im not going to do any drugs in 2017

 made a medicinal phone call

 i want to drink some blood

 i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

 years dont kill people

 feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

 i've felt stoned since i was a baby

 downloading google earth

 made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

 realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

 i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

 experiencing cognitive dissonance

 used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

 i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

 my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

 thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

 mediocore

 beyonce is cool i think

 i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

 remembered that i own a pinata

 i will be at awp

 how could i make twitter a better place

 i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

 feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

 felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

 watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

 i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

 im dumber than me

 reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

 i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

 my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

 sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

 resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

 eating chicken and squash

 i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

 when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

 terrified of being cool

 walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

 i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

 2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

 i have 5 twitters

 i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

 why doesnt anyone blog about me

 thesis statements arent real

 thinking about my book

 i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

 sad about my tumblr

 my name is all over the internet

 im a lizard

 someday there'll be no more ppl

 a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

 feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

 idk how to use venmo or what it is

 present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

 when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

 the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

 on tumblr i have 4 followers

 almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

 feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

 ground control to commander venus

 i like my new tumblr

 i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

 feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

 is everything ok

 i look like michael moore

[poop4u]

New Job, Who Dis?

#Poop4U

Some of you may remember this merry rag tag gang of misfits and the insane woman who runs herself ragged trying to keep up with them.

If you remember us, you probably wonder where the heck we’ve been, and why the radio silence in Blog Land. Well The Food Lady has been real busy, inventing The Hover Dog(tm).

Har har har.

I wish that’s what I was doing. I got a new “actual” job a couple months ago, because as much as I love photography, it does not bring home the bacon for me. Which makes me sad, because I like it a lot. And my new job leaves basically zero time to do it. At all. The hours are disgustingly terrible, the commute is brutal and the job itself hovers (har har har) somewhere between mindnumbingly boring and horrifically horrible with respect to how it’s managed (I mean above me, as I’m the manager). It pokes little holes in the fabric of my animal-welfare-background heart every day. But I have many things to feed, so I drag myself out of bed (sometimes at 3:45AM, sometimes at 6AM, depending which shift I’m on) and go, and I HATE IT WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

And speaking of Things, I managed to find a home for this one last week.

Never been so happy to see the backend of a red dog in my life. That puppy plum wore me out with her constant nonsense. She craned her evil giraffe neck over a babygate while I was in the shower and pulled down my favourite Bench jacket and chewed up the zipper, on both sides. It wasn’t even a dog coat, it didn’t even have tasty cookie smells in the pockets. She pissed on my dogs beds and I had to buy all new ones. There is not a blanket in the house without several holes in it. That dog is at LEAST a two person job, so I went to visit her potential home and hopped into my van and drove away while they were (foolishly) oohing and ahhing over her adorableness. SUCKERS!!!

Even my dogs breathed a collective sigh of relief when they realized she wasn’t coming back home with us. The Thing made Maisie look laid back!

Maisie, who will play fetch with literally anything.

Whenever I think of the people who passed on this smart girlie, I hug her just a little more tightly (which she objects to, LOUDLY, because it’s not playing fetch). I am so lucky to have her, she is just oodles of fun, and such a good girl. The other day we were playing ball in the off leash area and her ball (like her Best Dog Ever predecessor Tweed, she has A Ball that she will play with, and if it goes missing, she will not play with another ball without some serious pre-game pouting.)(It’s not the same as playing fetch with Literally Anything, these are two different games) bounced over the fence into a hard-to-reach place.

The off leash area is entirely fenced. The ball bounced over the fence as far away from the gate as possible. She knows she is not allowed to go out the *property* gate on the road (plus it was closed anyway), so damned if my smart girl didn’t go out the gates, run all the way along the outside of the off leash area in the parking lot, bushwhack through the blackberries and then run through the neighbour’s field and find her ball.

Then, like the shining star that she is, she retraced her steps and came back the same way she went and resumed our game of fetch. How brilliant is she? When she was about 7 months old I offered her to Canines for Conservation because she will do anything to find and retrieve her ball and has a work ethic that just won’t quit, but they felt she was too young (they like them 10 months and up). I am so glad they refused her, because my life would be a lot less shiny without her in it. Aside from her ear piercing bark (and her literal ear piercing of Dexter when she chases him down), she is just awesome. I love her so.

She can even get Winter to play with her, and Winter is far too weird and full of social anxiety to play with anyone other than his sister (or maybe she’s not his sister; doG knows the Woo “not-related-even-a-tiny-bit” TWoo fooled us all for years!).

And speaking of the Dastardly Duo…they’re both doing great, given they are old as dirt and I have effectively abandoned them for 11 hours a day in their old age. I bring Dexter and the two Littles to work, the rest of the dogs stay home. We try to play some fetch either before work or after I get home, depending on the shift, but the WooTWoo don’t play fetch, so they find life rather boring these days. So yesterday, my day off, Auntie Michelle and I piled them all in my van and took them to our old stomping grounds where I used to walk dogs, and we spent two hours decompressing in the cranberry fields. This is where Wootie’s resurrected Flamboyance(tm) chose to shine.

Look at that thing! It has fully recovered from its brush with shaving over a year ago thanks to that nasty infection he got. I am so glad to see it again. I am, however, not allowed to touch it still. Woo had gotten cantankerous in his old age and gets all snarly when I try to brush him (which is ironic, because without brushing, he is ALSO all snarly).

TWooie was having a good time too (lots of gross dead things to roll in, apparently) until he snagged and tore his front dew claw (AGAIN. Dog has the most feeble dewies in the world) and had to be carried out to solid ground because the cranberry plants kept snagging on the mangled claw. He was sad. I was also sad, because he’s heavy and super awkward to carry.

But we all needed the exercise and the time out in nature. It was so nice to see my crew running around being deliriously happy. It almost makes me regret giving up the dog walking gig, even though I was dead broke all the time.

This is a photo of Peetie. She’s still dumb as a sack of hammers. However, she was a godsend when we had The Thing…she entertained her for hours at a time, taught her to play tug with toys and wrestled patiently with her when the other dogs were all hiding from the Thing Tornado, even when The Thing got snappy and overstimulated…Peetie is truly awesome with annoying foster puppies.

Dexter is awesome at work … he stays behind a gate on the stairs behind my desk and he lures all of our clients over to pet him through the gate and tell him how handsome he is. He of course cannot hear them, but he knows what they’re saying. He knows how handsome he is.

He has a lump in his back along his spine so we went to visit Dr. Erica to have it checked out as it has recently gotten bigger. She examined it and said “It looks like a cyst. Ooooh, I want to squeeze it so bad!” What is it with you vet/tech types and your all encompassing urge to squeeze fluids out of dog lumps? The techs at the shelter LIVED for that shit too. You’re all disgusting!

Anyway, she did a needle thingie and cytology and it was indeed full of cyst material, but not the gooey kind, so she recommended we leave it alone until he’s under for something else … “like when you get his teeth cleaned!” she said, as she flipped up his lip to look at his teeth. “….or not,” she then said, because his teeth are fantastic (*chuffed*). So lumpy will remain lumpy unless the cyst gets too big to be ignored.

This is also the only photo of Spring you will see in this post, as she was too busy hunting all the imaginary critters out there. She ran so much that she slept all afternoon and evening.

No photos of Fae either, because she was too itty bitty to be seen in the cranberry fields … she was just some hair and floppy ears bouncing in and out of focus.

How come whenever I take a group photo, everyone looks very serious except for Dexter? How come he only has two facial expressions?? (this one and Mad Teeth(tm))

Anyway, it’s my last day off and I have 400 million things to do before work tomorrow, because I have no time to do anything on the days I am working. Maisie says we better get some ball time in before that happens (or any time, ever, why am I not a millionaire so I can spend all my time playing with her etc.)

Tell me what you think I should do for an actual living, because I can’t seem to come up with anything I want to do, and doG knows I don’t want to do what I am doing right now. You are smart peoples, help a sad, grouchy, tired sistah out.

ETA – oh I forgot, I was supposed to add this!

When I had the WooTWoo DNA tested, and learned they weren’t even a teensy bit the same breed(s) make up, they ran a “relatedness” test on them to see if maybe they had, like, same mom but different dad. Turns out they did not. It’s more sciencey than my pithy little grey matter can comprehend, but some of you s-m-r-t people might be interested to learn more about it on their blog post here.

Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com The Food Lady, Khareem Sudlow

[chelsorz07]

21 year old me was a little bitch

So is 28 year old me. Got another one for y’all. 2010/2017.

Are you cheating on someone right now? no. never have, never will. Still haven’t, still wouldn’t.

Day been rough? nope. it's been a good weekend. i'm just tired. Yeah actually, I spent most of it in bed sick.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? the bed in my hotel room. The cats’ bed. Yes, they have their own full size bed. And yes, I sleep there with them sometimes.

Would you kill a hobo for 100,000,000 dollars? if i could avoid the repercussions of homicide, sure. I would kill anyone for a hundred million dollars.

What makes you laugh no matter what? "wang whiplash" lol Memes. 

Have you done bad things with your parents near by? sure. Yeah but in hindsight not that bad. Just like, smoking cigarettes on the roof.

Do you think your future will be a good one? we'll see. Some days I have hope, some days I’m not sure I’ll see tomorrow.

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? no. things may be starting to look up. Not leave but if I could bring my life back home to PA with me that’d be optimal.

Will your next kiss be a mistake? hopefully not. No.

What were you doing 12 AM last night? hanging in the hotel with my mom. watching a halloween special on HGTV. Watching TWD.

What does your ex mean to you? everything. He’s still my best friend, even after all the shit we’ve been through.

Honestly, who are you texting? no one. i'm gonna go to sleep after i'm done here. Everybody’s sleeping.

How late did you stay up last night and why? 2ish. that's early for me. i had a couple glasses of wine and actually slept more than an hour for once. 9am.

What if your boyfriend or girlfriend went through your phone? i don't have a boyfriend. Husband now. And I don’t care. Although I doubt he’d feel the same if the situation were reversed.

Are you angry with someone right now? no one in particular. Not really I just still feel crappy.

Do you have sex everyday? i wish. Funny. I’ve had sex four times all year. Once in January, once in February, and twice two weeks ago.

Do you do drugs everyday? nope. No days. Unless a steady stream of Aleve, ibuprofen, heartburn medicine, and Sudafed counts.

Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours? probably maranda. I have not.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? no. we still hang out. We try to hang out every time I’m home. If not, I’ll at least visit him at work.

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? sometimes. Fuck no she’s my ride or die.

If you are up after 3 am, what are you most likely doing? trying to sleep. this happens every night. Sudoku, Netflix, and Youtube.

Does anyone call you baby? yeah but i wish he wouldn't. i'm not his girlfriend. and i'm sure as hell not his baby. Um no. We’re not a “pet name” couple. I call him Dick and he calls me “hey”.

Your latest ex calls you and asks you back out, you say? i thought you'd never ask. Sorry, taken.

Do you think you'll be single for the rest of the year? probably. I haven’t been single in a very long time.

Be honest, do you have feelings towards anyone? yep. You betcha.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? michele and erica. Amanda. And more recently, Faith.

Has anyone ever drunk/high called/texted you? sure. it goes both ways. Many times.

Is there a guy that knows everything about you? yes. Two or three. Dave, Mike, my dad. Maybe Mark (my brother-in-law).

Have you ever liked someone just because they were good looking? well yeah. who hasn't? but if there's nothing deeper, it doesn't work out. I can appreciate some human beauty.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for over 6 months? i have. Over 8 years. Despite the fact that we weren’t technically together the first time I took this quiz, we decided that those 18 months didn’t count because we still spent every day together anyway and knew we’d end up here.

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn't? understatement. Yeah but I got them back.

You love someone? indeed. I love a lot of someones.

You've had sex with over 12 people, haven't you? nope. two. and one of them, i shouldn't have. That number is the same. But the second one - a subpar one night stand in a Dodge Ram? Bleh. We don’t think about it.

Was 2009 a good year? best year of my life. It was quite good.

Do you think 2010 will top 2009? worst year of my life. 2010 sucked. 2017 has been a roller coaster.

Will you be dating someone in six months? i don't have a crystal ball. Married.

Who is the last person you physically hit? my mom, but jokingly. I don’t hit people.

Do you plan on getting married someday? i would if it were to the right person. I am.

Which is harder: walking away from somebody you love or coming back to someone who hurt you? walking away. hands down. Walking away. Never could.

Did you sleep alone last night? well my mom was in the room too. Yeah Dave won’t be home for a couple more days.

Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love? in VERY rare cases. I mean I was 19 when I fell in love and still am.

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? of course. Yeah but I don’t anymore. Not really that into cookies. 

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? several times. I didn’t even go to sleep until late morning. And yes, I woke up a lot. I do that.

Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh? not a chance. Hell no. I need the lulz to survive.

What's the biggest annoyance in your life right now? having to be patient even though i know things will work out eventually. My physical ailments and my location. And the fact that my tv is a piece of shit so I have to keep turning it off and on just to get sound.

Are you a patient person? no. but i have to be. obviously. Not even a little.

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? i don't think it would have made a difference, to be honest. I wouldn’t have let things get so bad with my family. And Dave and I would’ve gotten married at the courthouse instead of having a big wedding because it was a disaster.

What are you looking forward to in the next 7 days? friday. Dave coming back, getting Primanti’s, and going home this weekend.

Is it easy for you to talk to people of the opposite sex? yeah, now it is. It’s not really easy for me to talk to any people, unless they’re an important part of my life.

Did the last person you kissed name start with a B? no. Negative. 

Do you stay up later than ten o'clock on a week night? i haven't been to sleep that early in like ten years. I don’t go to bed at night anymore. Like ever.

Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches? no. I’m 5′6″.

Are you one of those people who just don't care? ohhh...i try to claim that i don't. but it's not true. Hahaha alright that’s still the case.

When was the last time you laughed hard and why? wang whiplash. Memes.

Are you generally a happy person? not lately. No I’m a miserable cunt.

Whats on your shirt? hey monday. The Horde crest from WoW.

Where will you be in an hour? here. sleeping. Probably right in this very chair.

Who was the first person you talked to today? mom. I haven’t talked to anyone today.

How do you feel right now? tired. In pain. 

Had sex at school? nope. I didn’t even have sex for the first time until long after I graduated.

Who was the last girl you talked to? mom. Amanda.

When’s the last time you talked to your sister? like 20 minutes. Allie, probably a couple weeks ago. Mandi, couldn’t tell ya. Even when we’re in the same room we don’t speak.

Do you regret something you did today? no. I regret doing nothing today. But I couldn’t really move.

Do you miss someone? yes. I miss everyone. Dave when he’s gone, my family, my friends, my home. I just want to go back.

Will this Sunday be a good one? if i can take a nap, yeah. I’ll be in Bradford so yes.

Are you keeping a big secret right now? i don't have any secrets. Still an open book.

The past 72 hours have you been under the influence? yes. Nope. Don’t drink anymore.

What was the last thing you drank? dew. Water.

Have you ever had a panic attack? many. More than I can count. But I haven’t had one in a while.

Have your parents ever smoked pot? my dad did once. my mom never did. Same.

Want someone back in your life? like you would not believe. The people I want in my life are in it, they’re just too far away.

What's your favorite color? green. Green, black, grey, plaid.

Do you listen to music every day? i have to. it keeps me sane. Usually but I haven’t today. Didn’t have the energy to play anything.

Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? sad, mostly. angry if i think too hard. happy? well, we'll see. All of the above, and then some.

Are you an emotional person? very. Yessir.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies? he still does. every day. i don't even have to see him. Yes.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? yeahh.. Often.

When is the next time you will see the person you last kissed? probably never. i'm fine with that. Possibly Wednesday night, definitely sometime Thursday.

Have any memories that you'd like to forget? no. Oh yeah.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #439

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun”

Have you written a letter to a soldier? No. Ever been in a perfect relationship? I thought so. But no, those don't exist. The last song you listened to? "Broadcasting From Beyond" by Motionless In White. Have you ever wished you could hurt somebody as much as they hurt you? I... have, but I don't wish that at all anymore. Has a dentist ever screwed up on anything when working on you? No. Would you rather be a successful writer or artist? Artist. Who are you in love with? Nobody. Does someone’s view on homosexuality affect how you feel about them in any way? It sure as fuck does. How about someone’s view on religion? Nah. Well, usually. It depends on the beliefs themselves and to what extremity. What is something you wear that others might consider unfashionable? Flipflops, like... year-round, lmao. What kind of pill did you last take? It's called Lamictal, the catalyst for my primary mood stabilizer. Do you like wearing glasses? No. I'd wear contacts if I had the patience and non-shaky hands. What first comes to mind when thinking of 10th grade? Jason. -_- That's the year we started dating. What’s the scariest thing that’s happened to you? A traumatic breakup. Has an ambulance ever came to your house? Yes, for my mother. The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? Well, because you mentioned him, I'm thinking about Jason and just how I fucked shit up 'n stuff. How many different cars have you driven? Uhhhh I want to say two? But maybe just one? Was the last person you hung out with single? I guess that would be my mom, in which case yes. Have you ever attended a private school? My last college was a private school, yes. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No, and for that I am incredibly grateful. Have you ever cooked for anyone other than yourself? Yeah. I've made scrambled eggs for my family before as breakfast, and I did the same for Sara, too. Would you rather live in the city, the suburbs, or the rural area? Ugh, take me back to the middle of nowhere, please. :/ Do you know someone who is really ambidextrous? Sara! Are you adopted? No. Who was the last person that cried in your presence? Probably one of my nieces or nephew. Can you write your name in a foreign language? Uh, I think? In the German alphabet, "y" isn't actually a letter, and my name is Brittany, so I'm not entirely sure if it would be spelled that same way or not, but I think so. Who is the person you often go to for venting? My mom. Was the last person you kissed male or female? Female. Do you say “I love you” even when you don’t mean it? No. That shit can scar people (aka me) so goddamn deep when they don't mean it anymore. What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? Things I wrote to Jason in letters after the breakup. I would literally give a limb (no, I'm not exaggerating) to take it back. There are times I actually do wonder if we would've gotten back together if I wasn't just... a bitter and ridiculously hurt fuck that took it all out on him. Do you like vanilla? Yes. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. I actually do want one for my extra room/"office," though, to read on. Have you kissed any friends on your Facebook? Yeah. Do you get snow where you live? Occasionally, but it's very rarely a lot. What’s your favorite flavor of Doritos? Cool Ranch. Do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids? Good thing I ain't havin' 'em. Have you ever seen a hippo in person? Yes. Do you like the band A Skylit Drive? I've actually only heard their "Love The Way You Lie" cover, which I do like. Have you ever been to any professional sports games? Yeah, with my dad. What’s the most boring sport to watch? Golf. But I don't particularly enjoy any. Do you like lip rings on the opposite sex? MHMMMMMMMMMMMMM. If you suddenly went deaf, what would be your most missed sound? Music. Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? If I actually wanted a dog, a Rottweiler. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional, for sure. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo. Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? I know damn well I'd say yes to Jason in a heartbeat. Literally before even getting to know the current him. That's how emotionally attached I am to him, even with the trauma. I'd get back together with Sara if/when we both are more stable emotionally and with clear direction, which is mostly on my end now. I also don't think I'd be ready until one of us is able to move for the other. Is there a certain quote you live by? No. Do you have any tattoos? I have some, but not nearly enough. :( Are you friends with the last person you kissed? She's my bestie! :') Green or purple grapes? I don't really have much of a preference, so long as they're crisp. What is your ringtone? Just something that came with the phone. If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Fuck no. What is something you wish you had more of? Adventure, for one. Have you ever trusted someone too much? JASON. HOLY FUCK. It was FACT to me that we would, could, never break up. It just... wasn't possible in my head. It was like breaking the laws of the world. When he told me he loved me and would never leave, I believed that shit as if it was God himself promising that. I've never and will never trust someone like that ever again, because it wasn't healthy in the slightest. Do you sleep with your window open? Noooo, that would freak me out. Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Yeah; Tyler had snakebites. Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No; we live in different states. Whose was the last funeral you attended? Ummm I'm actually not sure. Do you avoid using public restrooms? Yes. Do you like eggnog? Nooooo. Who is the person you dislike the most? It's so fucking stupid... I know it is STILL the girl Jason dated after me. I don't even think they're together anymore, so why the fuck does it matter? I know NOTHING about this poor girl that just found someone she really liked and got dumped FOR THE SAME REASON AS ME. It shouldn't fucking matter, at all, but it still does in my head. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, because I don't have an income. What is your favourite way to eat rice? As pork fried rice. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? Over 3 1/2 years with Jason. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon. Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I don't like chili. Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Not EVERYTHING, no. I wouldn't tell her anything at all unless she asked. I don't like talking about that stuff. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Yes, which was absolutely, utterly ridiculous. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. Has anyone ever taken your own clothes off you before? Yes. Is there someone you want to kiss right now? Probably always will. -_- Have you ever had a real tea party? Or been to one? Ha ha no, but my little sister used to love to have little ones with her Disney princesses plastic tea set. She would always ask Mom or me to have one with her. Have you been called a tease? Only playfully. Did you kiss the last person you really wanted to kiss? Yes. Would you ever go to a protest or be involved in a protest? So long as it was peaceful, yes. When playing rock, paper, scissors, which do you usually pick? Scissors. Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, when I was younger. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? No. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? Absofuckinglutely not. I'm proof of that. That idea is such bullshit. Do you share a bed with anyone? Just my cat. Who is one very unique celebrity/musician/whatever that you love? MARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Could you handle babysitting two small children at once, such as two children under three years old? OH FUCK NO. Would you say that people consider you a major flirt? Definitely not. Do any of your friends have children? Yes. Would you rather cry in public or make someone else cry in public? I would FAR rather cry myself. I would feel so, so bad for making someone else cry, not even just in public. Would you rather re-live today forever or not live? Not live. Would you rather be just rich or rich and famous? Just rich. Who was the last person of the opposite sex to be in your bedroom? My nephew, I believe. He and Aubree wanted to see the snake. What’s your favourite kind of Cap’N Crunch? The "All Berries" one. What is your favourite Pepsi product? Mountain Dew. Is the computer you’re using yours? Yes. Do you get upset when a dog jumps on you? Not at all. I got used to that, and besides, it's cute to see them so excited. Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? World of Warcraft, sometimes. I usually play it daily, but there are some days where I just am not interested in it. What do you like on your pizza? Meats and/or jalapenos. Do you get breadsticks with your pizza? Mom usually gets 'em, yeah. Did you ever have a waterbed? Yeah. Not one anyone slept on regularly, but just like, a plastic one or whatever the material was to sleep in if someone was staying over. What toy from your childhood do you miss? I wish I didn't get rid of my big crocodile toy that I was obsessed with. :'( He was like the main character in the world I made up for him and his family. Have you ever been to a rock concert? Yeah. \m/ What is your religion? None. Do you like listening to love songs? Meh, I have to be in the mood, plus it depends on the song. A lot of them trigger me. What is one meal that you like to eat while sick? I'm nervous to eat when I'm sick, so I mostly just have saltine crackers and ginger ale. Have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? Yeah, when I was a kid and didn't know it was bad for them and the water. I never would now. The name of the last board game that you played? I think it was "Sorry!" with the kids. Has anyone ever commented on your weight? I mean, doctors, but not in a judgmental, belittling way. Just in a way that expressed concern for my health. Have you ever thought about joining the military? NOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? Yes. And I don't mean that as an exaggeration; I believe I've literally qualified as insane at a point after the breakup. I was so fucking delusional and desperate and just going in circles. Are you ever jealous of happy couples? Meh, sometimes. Lately, who has spent the most time on your mind? Take a guess. .-. It's been pretty bad lately. Do you ever feel like someone would be disappointed to see your body or are you comfortable with your body enough where you don’t think that? I have a HORRIBLE body image. My body fucking disgusts me. I don't even like my mother seeing me get changed or anything like that. I don't want ANYBODY seeing me naked. What is your favorite flavor of Monster? I don't like any that I've ever had a sip of. Have you ever ran from the police? No. That never goes well. Do you have any trophies? Yeah. Do you like screamo music? No. What does your wallet look like? It's a checkered Harley Quinn one. Is there something nobody knows about you (and what)? Yes. Why would I share that if I don't want anyone to know? Does your family have a secret? No. Do you do anything to help the environment? We recycle. Mom also cuts up those plastic things that come with soda bottles packed together, as well as some other plastic wrappings. We are both disgusted by people who litter, so we avoid that. I also try to conserve water where I can, like by turning the sink off when I brush my teeth. There are other little things, but I wish I did even more. Do you like to take pictures of yourself? FUCK NO. It is so rare I do that nowadays. When/where are you most likely to sing? The car. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? OH MY GOD, PLEEEEEAAAAASE <3 What is the most illegal thing you’ve done? Pirated an expensive editing software, oops. :x Have you ever seen somebody get shot? LKJ;ALSDJFA;JWELKRJLW;Q NOOOOOOOOO.

[kellexplainsitall]

Strap in, it's going to be a long one. Phew.

Wednesday

I had a work luncheon that ate up a good chunk of the day, and then I had to take Miles out, so it was a very long lunch break. I thought for sure we'd get out of work early, but no dice. Tim and I spent the evening at home, relaxing. We knew we had a long weekend on the horizon, so it was perfect.

Thursday

I was mildly hungover when I woke up? Whoops. I rallied, Tim and I left for the race at 7 a.m. It was a very muggy and warm morning. We picked up our bibs and shirts and did a two-mile warmup. We were both drenched in sweat after, so we changed shirts and lined up. There were a few fast-looking women there, but it turns out I had nothing to worry about, I was first woman by the first tenth of a mile, and no one came close. This is a hard course, it's very hilly and I had just hoped to win and nail a course PR (which would be 21:37). I felt really strong and tried to focus on passing as many guys as I could. This is also the first 5K I've run without music. I had my headphones in, but I was so sweaty, I was afraid I was going to lose one, so I just held them the entire race.

I worked hard and I finished in 21:21, for 11th overall and first female. I was very happy with these results. Tim came in just over 24 minutes. I did a one-mile cooldown with Mike C and then got my award before we headed home.

Once home, we showered and ate and decided to just take care of all of our errands. We went to the market and stocked up at Aldi before going home. I watched Juliet Naked, which I had wanted to see for a really long time, as I read the book years ago. I really enjoyed the movie! There was also a food truck festival, so we walked down there for a bit, but didn't get anything. Tim was kind of cranky, so we just made quinoa pizza crusts and had a few drinks before going to bed.

Friday

We slept in a little bit and then ran a few easy miles. I had hoped to get in a lifting session, but between packing the car, walking the dog and getting ready, I just didn't have time. Tim and I dropped Miles off at Jenny and Bob's and then we hit the road, arriving in Philly with no problems by 12:30. Surprisingly, they had a room ready for us, so we dropped our stuff off and went to my parents' suite. Turns out, my parents didn't really want us there early to hang out, like they had said, but so that Tim could help my dad unload booze at the venue.

So, they did that, my mom and I went to have a drink, and then we all (including my brother and his gf) went out for lunch. Everyone had a couple of beers and then we went to the hotel to get ready for the rehearsal. There was a cupcake display in the lobby and my father was feverishly eating them, and then he picked one up like it was his first (probably so my mom wouldn't yell at him) and when he smiled, his teeth were completely blue. I haven't laughed that hard in a really, really long time.

We quickly showered and then the six of us crammed into one car and went to the rehearsal, which was painless. Post-rehearsal, we had the rehearsal dinner, which went on for nearly FOUR HOURS. I thought I was going to die there. Fortunately, I did have 1,000 vodka sodas and a delicious gf pizza from the place next door. My dad did give an unintentionally hilarious speech though.

Most people went to the bar after, but I went right to bed! It was already 10 p.m. and I knew Saturday was going to  be LONG AF.

Saturday

When I woke up, the dew point was 74 and it was 100% humidity. Great! Fortunately, there is a great river path right near the hotel, so I headed down there. I figured I'd be running pretty slow because of the weather, but I averaged 8:07s for 7 miles! I then met my brother and Tim for another 3 and change. We were all SOAKED. I loved this running trail thought! There were plenty of water fountains and bathrooms and it was so scenic.

After that, I quickly showered and headed to my sister's room for hair and makeup. It was a long, very boring morning of that. I had on more makeup than I have ever put on in my entire life, my mom and I felt ridiculous. Fake eyelashes are not for me.

Pictures started at 2, and we eventually made our way to the venue. It rained off and on throughout the day, but that really helped cool things off. It was just such a long day! The wedding started at 6, and was over quite quickly. We had a great time dancing, drinking and spending time with family.

We were on the shuttle by 11 and back at the hotel by 11:30. I took a shower to get all that makeup off (I still feel like it's on!) and then went to bed. There was an afterparty, but we saw no afterparty.

Sunday

I thought my run Sunday was going to be garbage due to lack of sleep, a lot of vodka and poor food choices, but it was AMAZING. I was smiling the entire time. 10 miles @ 7:55 pace, with just two quick water bottle fills. No bathroom stops or dying-from-the-humidity stops. It was one of my favorite runs ever. I wish I could bottle that feeling.

Tim and I were on the road before 9 and picked Miles up by 10:30. I don't think he missed us one bit!

I dropped Tim off at the tavern for soccer, while I took Miles home, unpacked, started laundry and tried to get organized. I went to the bar for the second half of the game and had a few drinks with Sloane and Cass. They had a GREAT turnout, they actually ran out of pint glasses at one point!

Tim and I ate lunch, I walked Miles and then did more laundry and organizing. I eventually was so exhausted, I allowed myself a one-hour nap. Tim and I had more quinoa pizza crust for dinner and I was in bed EARLY. Yawn.

Monday

I am dragging today. When my alarm went off, I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" But I got up, it was pouring rain, so it was tough to get out the door. I don't like to take my airpods when it's raining because I don't want to ruin them, so it felt like a slog. I struggle on easy runs with no music. But it got done! I have work all day and then I fly out to Kansas City tomorrow, kill me plz.

[skiasurveys]

got this from bzoink LMAO.

All About My Boyfriend survey

How did it all begin...?

Where did you meet?- we met on Okcupid. a dating app.

When did you meet? -In person was Oct 3 2015.

Was it love at first sight?-No, but like 1 hour into the first date I was like wow i like him alot

how old were you both?- He was 25 and I was 18 at the time.

When did you have your first kiss? - First date, after dinner i went to his house to hang out more he asked to kiss me and so i did <3

Where was your first date?- It was at the college- we went to a supersmash bros club ahah and then the noodle house, then i went to his house to hang out and watch some youtube videosss.

How long until you met the parents?- I met his mom 2 weeks later. He met my mom pretty quick.

When was it 'official'?- Ok. Heres the trippy Part. we dated for one month, broke up, didnt really talk for a while, 5 months later we start to talk again, a month after that we started to date again and made it offical on May 10th 2016. That is our anniversary.

The good...

Whats your happiest memory of him?- Theres so many. Theres the time when we stayed up all night just talking about our future, theres when we told me he loved me so much, when he held me because i had a panic attack..

Whats the sweetist thing he has ever done for you?- slept behind a friends couch for 7 months because he didnt want to move away from me. ( we couldnt get  aplace)

Does he buy you lots of gifts?- No, but I am fine with that, I dont like gifts actually. I rather him tell me he loves me and spend time with me.

Whats your favorite thing to do together?- honestly. stay up all night and get deep.

When did you know you were falling in love?- when he told me I was his best friend.

Who said 'I love you' first?- Me

Is it true love?- I think so.

How do you know this?- Never felt like this before. 

The bad...

Whats his worst habit?- Not texting me back, but really hes gettings pissed at the dumbest shit ever, and hes really bad at plan making and especially when I pick him up..ill say “Ill be there at 5 PM” and his bitchass will be sleeping at 4:30

What annoys you about him?- when he talks really loud at 3 am when I was sleep, and his texting back skills.

Has he ever hurt you badly?- we did get into a fight where we hurt eachother really bad. ( emotionally).

Would he ever cheat?-No. 

Has he to your knowlege ever cheated?- No he hasnt. I know he wouldnt cause I just know that if he found someone else he would just dump me

Do you trust him?- I dooo

The ugly....

Best facial feature?- his entire face

Favorite part of his body?- his strong arms <3

Hair colour?- Brown 

What does he smell of?- I dont know how to explain it

Whats he wearing when you picture him in your head?- Black tshirt ?

Intimacy...

How do you feel when he holds you?- I feel safe.

How do you feel when you fall asleep and wake up in his arms?- Happy

How does it feel when he touches you?- depends ;)

Does his touch give you goose bumps?- it can

Does he kiss your neck?- Mmmhmm thats the best shit everrr.

Your tummy?- I like it.

Your forehead? It makes me feel loved idk why

Deep and meaningfull...

Could you be without him?- I dont think so.

Do you think about him constantly when your apart?- i am always thinking about him to the point where i get mad at myself cus im like bitchhhh

How long have you been together? 1 year and 2 months

Can you see a future together?- I can

Would you like to get married?- Yeah in the future. 

Have children?- No. I dont want kids, nor does he

Where can you see your relationship in a years time?- I see us having a nice apartment, and im in school and he has a good job. It depends. 

5 years time? Nice apartment. I dont think we will be in the same city, we are planning on moving cause his dad wants to do some buisness thing with him. Id be done school probably just starting my career. 

Do you know there is definatly no-one better out there for you?- Yeah, he just suits me so perfectly.

How do you know this? I dont.

Are you scared he might find someone better? I always am. But i guess the best thing to do is be the best that I can at this moment and trust him

Is he your best friend as well as your lover?- yes

Does he come first over everyone else in your life?- No, I dont like to do that boyfriend over family/friends. I like to see my friends and hang with my family but I do know when i need to spend time with Him. I would only choose him over them if it was  a serious thing, but if it wasnt he could wait.

Would you die for him? sure..but why am i dying

On a lighter note...

Whats the funniest thing you have ever done together?- theres too many things.

Say something that only you two understand- Best NA Heals.

Do you have nick names for each other? eh not rly.

Does he make you laugh? of course

Do you wrestle? sometimes. i usually do this tho cus for him to get on top lol..

Is he tickelish? yeah but im more.

Are you? ^

His Favorites...

Food? meat of all kind

Drink? water but i think mountain dew too lol

Sport? football? idk he doesn twatch sports.

Past time? Video games

Animal? cats

Aftershave? ??? he lieks to have a beard i think

Clothing style? He just wears tshirt and jeans. he doesnt care about clothes...

Band? Queen i think lmao He isnt huge into music like i am

Music? He likes classic rock, and techno/anime music lmao

Your 'things'....

Song? I cant help falling in love and wish u were here.

DVD? we dont own dvds 

Place to hang out? my house or colins 

Meal to cook together?- anything

Lasts...

Time you saw him? tuesday :( but i see him tomorrow.

Kissed him? Tuesday :((

Spoke to him? Just like an hour ago 

The last text he sent you? an hour ago

When will you...

See him again? tomorrow night

Speak to him again?- either tonight or tomorrow morning/day whenever

Tell him you love him again? maybe tomorrow. we dont say i love you just randomly, i personally dont cause i like it to be personal.

Have you ever? 

Spent the night together?- Of course. when he comes over he spends like 2-3 nights.

Been on holiday? No, but i kind of want to!

Met his parents? Yes. Just not his biological dad cus he lives far away

Had naughty time?- duh

Made him cry?- I think so by accident. i feel awful

Done anything spontaneous together?- yes

Lastly....

Is this love? durrr.

[preciousnerd]

A “should we know us a little better” tag
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people 
Tagged by @lil-loki THE LAST: 
 1. Drink: mountain dew 
2. Phone call: my dad whoops  
3. Text message: kasey!! 
 4. Song you listened to: uuhhhh Youre Mine by Lola Marsh 5. Time you cried: idk probably like,,3 days ago? 
6. Dated someone twice: yes, with multiple people but also with the guy I’m with now!  
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: maaany times lma o 8. Been cheated on: yes multiple times  9. Lost someone special: of course, who hasn’t? 
 10. Been depressed: lmao yeah  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!  LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
 12-14: seafoam green, pastelier blues ? and uuhh,,purple because it reminds me of kasey  IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
 15. Made new friends: uhhh ye s I met Lana and Ty through our mutual hate of Kaleb!!  
16. Fallen out of love: nope I dont think so  
17. Laughed until you cried: probably pft 18. Found out someone was talking about you: in a bad way,,? Ig I did last night??? Idk I dont pay a lot of attention to that stuff  19. Met someone who changed you: in the past year,,no I haven’t  20. Found out who your friends are: I guess i found that out earlier than this past year so,,,no?  
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Cody isnt in my facebook list smh so no GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: uh,,,two of them i think?? kasey and my sister??  
23. Do you have any pets: two dogs atm but ive had more in the past  
24. Do you want to change your name: yes a million times yes
 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh nothing? We went to dinner downtown and ate cake and opened presents in my sisters dorm room  
26. What time did you wake up: at like 12:45 whoops  
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: uuhhh either watching youtube or playing gay wars with reb  
28. Name something you can’t wait for: for my boyfriend to not be be going through absolute hell in his life  
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like a minute ago she walked in and talked to me about who was playing a new autistic doctor in a show  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could change how codys life was going rn!!!  
31. What are you listening right now: nothing other than the distant sound of The Chew playing in the living room  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no? i dont think so 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when I dont think before I act and it causes other people to get hurt  
34. Most visited Website: idk probably youtube or hangouts  35. Mole/s: u  h none  36. Mark/s: some single lonely freckles on my arms,legs,feet, and hands, a really dark birthmark on my back, a lot of scars on my legs and arms and hands, stretch marks on my back and i,,,think thats it???  37. Childhood dream: idk small me probably wanted a husband/boyfriend and to not work and be a stay at home mom because thats what i grew up thinking i needed to be but that has changed lm ao 38. Hair color: uh its naturally dark brown but rn the shaved part is brown and the long part is blonde  
39. Long or short hair: definitely short but the longer part is very floofy :> 
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeye my boyfriend 
41. What do you like about yourself: uh?? i really like my hair?? thats the main thing ig, and my hip/collar bones are nice  42. Piercings: lmao no never again 
43. Bloodtype: who actually knows this about themselves  44. Nickname: u h idk my sister calls me Arooooon (pronounced like,,maroon), some people call me hecker, i think my new nickname for loki was turdsnot, or we could change it too rufus, and kasey and my boyfriend call me a bunch of cute things like hun or babe or whatever but idk its hard to keep track of 45. Relationship status: taken 
46. Zodiac: aries 
 47. Pronouns: they/them 48. Favorite TV Show: hmmm..probably like,,jojos even though thats an anime  
49. Tattoos: i dont have any but i want them real bad  
50. Right or left hand: left for writing and eating stuff but i use my right for some things ?  
51. Surgery: havent gone through surgery and the thought scares me  52. Piercing: smh i see you asking double questions  
53. Sport: not a sporty person but im interested in going into dance?? especially contemporary  55. Vacation: at this point its always to Texas to see my bf and best friend  56. Pair of trainers: what does this even mean?? shoes?? favorite shoes??? i really like my heels ig??? ? ?? ?  ?

MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating: i was eating cinnamon toast crunch but i really want a rice bowl from a kobe place near me dfjfk 58. Drinking: mountain dew lmao 59. I’m about to: probably watch youtube and talk to kasey  
61. Waiting for: death?? but also my babe  62. Want: to move back to texas bluh  63. Get married: depends on who im with when i need to make that decision but im open to it and id definitely get married to cody in the future if he wanted  
64. Career: i dont really know anymore, body painter, special effects artist, journalist??artist??  something different?? idk! !  WHICH IS BETTER?: 
65. Hugs or kisses: uuhhh kisses but only with my bf  66. Lips or eyes: hmm..depends?? both are nice  67. Shorter or taller: both have their perks especially when dating either of them, like with cody he can pick me up and carry me around and i have to stand on my toes to kiss him and i love it but with shorter people they can sit in your lap and you can rest your head on theirs and bl uh idk bu t atm taller because i just want to be Held  
68. Older or younger: uuhh older cause im real young anyways but not like,,,too much older yknow,, 
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uhh????? ?i dunno??? both are nice ig but neither are important to me?? ? 
71. Sensitive or loud: i dont know what this,,means?? like in a person??? it doesnt matter ig both have their perks and downsides to me 
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, i cant stand the thought of hooking up with someone  
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: again, both are good and bad  HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a stranger: not a complete stranger no but i wouldnt do it again  75. Drank hard liquor: lmao no ive only had a sip of a frozen daiquiri once  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent lost them to a point ive never found them but i slept with my glasses in my bed and couldnt find them for like an hour and cried about it after looking because i hated the feeling of not being able to see and it frustrated me a lot (this sounds like it happened when i was a small child but no it only happened like a year and a half ago)  77. Turned someone down: lmao yes ofc if i said yes to everyone who wanted to date me i would jump around so much and id hate it  78. Sex in the first date: uuhhhh questionably yes? but we had been dating for a long time before that it was just our first proper “go out and see each other” date cause we are long distance yknow  79. Broken someones heart: whoops yeah oh well  
80. Had your heart broken: yeyeye 81. Been arrested: lmAO n o 
82. Cried when someone died: yes  
83. Fallen for a friend: uuh yeah i guess thats what happened with jennie? but i wouldnt say i completely fell for her, ive only been in love once so idk, but i used to become interested in friends DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
 84. Yourself: lmao no not at all 85. Miracles: yes and no? but to keep it simple ill just stick with no  86. Love at first sight: uhhh i dont really know tbh, but i dont think i do 
87. Santa Claus: no :< 
88. Kiss in the first date: depends?? most of the time no tho 
89. Angels: dont believe in god so i dont believe in angels either whoops  OTHER:
 90. Current best friends name: kasey and cody 91. Eyecolor: brown 
92. Favorite movie(s): The Little Prince is one of my favorites, Song of the Sea, Moana, just a lot of animated kids movies are really g o od man  TAGGED: idk ig,,, @demonicfox15 ? sure you can do it kasey why not  this took me,,,so freaking long dkfmkmds

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #352

my head’s a mess and a half, i can’t think of lyrics to put here so yeah here’s the survey

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? Uh I think it was a pepper in this Healthy Choice dinner bowl I had yesterday. What was your last Facebook notification for? A friend liking this photo I shared of some beautiful, small rock and pebble sculptures of people. What bands have you seen live? Just Alice Cooper. Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: She only has one kidney due to the other being taken out because of kidney cancer when I was a kid. Coincidentally, her father was actually born with only one as well. What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? Nothing really comes to mind. What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? SUPER against? I dunno, man. What are your plans later today? I don't know. Yesterday my mother informed me that Jason's mother died, and since then I've been in shock. I was in awful condition yesterday because I absolutely adore(d) her like she was MY family, and once upon a time I thought she would be officially, and I still feel very, very dead. I doubt I'll get anything done today. Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Definitely not exciting... Mom and possibly I are probably bringing Jason's family food for the family get-together they're having (we're not staying for... obvious reasons), but she's unsure because it might be a bit too awkward. I'll stay in the car because I don't want to disrespect Jason's space, but I REALLY want to go through with this. His mom was so important to me, and I don't want to just... do nothing as if she meant just that. I want the family to know I never stopped caring just because there was a breakup. Plus I wanna give Jason his favorite chocolate bar to try to bring him a bit of happiness. I can't imagine what he's feeling, and my instinct of "I need to protect him" absolutely never went away. Who do you talk to the most? My mom. What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Go to bed before 9PM, sometimes even before 8. And my knees pop like a motherfucker. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt and Sam. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither; instead, I just wish it was clearer. I have extremely dry skin, especially on my arms, so I have little bumps and marks there, as well as little freckles over my body. Having like, porcelain skin would be amaaaazing. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? Keep it. Look more badass, haha. Have you had an x-ray in the past year? I think so, on my legs. It may have been over a year ago, idr. Do you think your first love still loves you? I don't want to know. I really don't. What is something that is “going right” in your life? *blinks* When did you feel ready to start dating? Seriously, probably late middle school. When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? My snake Venus has never bitten me. Meanwhile, my cat Roman lightly (and sometimes not so lightly...) bites me pretty much every day when I play with him, lol. Where were you the last time you made out? My bed. When was the last time you cried tears of joy? I probably haven't done that since I met Sara irl. How do you type your sad smileys? One of these three: :( or :c or :< Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? No. What was the last soda you drank? Mountain Lightning, a Mtn. Dew ripoff bc we're cheap, lol. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Have you ever had any type of surgery? Yeah, a cyst removal as well as tubes in my ears. Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? Uh no????? Who was the last person to hit on you? That I'm actually aware of, Sara. I'm quite sure nobody has since. What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? I was too weak to even clean the litterbox last night. I just wanted to go to bed. I need to do it today. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? Hm. Maybe that I didn't love Joel? It was just really awkward and I felt awful about the whole situation. What do you put on hot dogs? Ketchup and mustard. Ever fallen in the shower? I've fallen OUT of the shower. I was extremely dizzy and was trying to get out, and I just passed out onto my chin. Broke some molars and got a concussion. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about? Probably a bitch or something. Do you think that things will get better? I sure hope so. Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? I guess I kinda have. My WoW friend Lisa and I were talking, and she wasn't feeling well at all when she suddenly disappeared. Coincidentally, her husband got home RIGHT when I messaged her again, wanting to check up on her, and he heard the alert so checked it out. Lisa was knocked out on the couch having some medical emergency with a name I can't remember, and he just thought she was sleeping. Because of seeing the chat, he took her to the hospital when she probably would've died otherwise. She insists I saved her. What’s your favourite book genre? Fantasy. Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? No. Do dogs like you? They definitely seem to. Animals in general honestly do. Would you say that you project an air of authority? Definitely not. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. I've always wanted to, but I was too scared at any opportunity. Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) I just use one. I dry my hair first, then my body. Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No, but I did see one of them from a plane when I was flying to Sara's. Who do you know that had a baby recently? My high school friend had her daughter Persephone literally a couple days ago. Cute little thing. Do you like Usher’s songs? Oh wow, what a blast from the past. I don't even recall the names of any, but I remember I enjoyed some as a kid. When was the last time you went to a waterpark? Wow, it has been YEARS. Like, not since I was a teen. Have you ever ridden a train? No. What do you eat your French fries with? Ketchup, sometimes. Do you have family problems? Not really. What’s the last food you ate that was stale? Bread, I think. How do you like your grilled cheese? Just a normal 'ole grilled cheese. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video games. Have you ever been close to drowning? Yikes, no. Have you ever had a panic attack? Countless. Do you like doing housework? No, who does? Would you ever get implants? Nah. Do you own a robe? No. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? I don't trust people who don't eat pizza crust. What was the last song you listened to? "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. It's making me cry, but I really need to. Have any of your family members been to jail? No. None that I know of, anyway. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? An old friend, yes. Can you remember when you first learned how to read? No. What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? My mental illnesses as a whole. Have you ever had any teeth pulled? No. Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? No, but only because it's not realistic. I don't want to travel. What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? I don't care about TV 'til MM resumes, and then absolutely whenever The Edge of Sleep is released. Mark is a key actor in it. How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? I couldn’t be. What is your favorite Queen song? Ha, I'm aware this is probably everyone's answer, but "Bohemian Rhapsody" is the bop of all bops. Do you know how to use any foreign currency? No. Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? BEEN kissed, yeah. By Juan. Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? No. When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Now. What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? It was a group date where we went to this big arcade one night. What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? None. What is the reason you’re still alive? That's a big answer that I'm not in the mood to ramble about. Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? Yeah, oops. Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? No. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) HAHA this was the only lucid dream I've ever had lmfao. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? I don't remember. How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Like shit. "Virginia's still dead" just bitchslapped me. Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Well yeah. Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Yes, because I really did. Have you ever been threatened before? Yes. Would you date someone with a physical disability? Yeah. Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? Probably. The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Red. Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? My mom. Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? What income? Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? No. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. Are your parents in good health? Not especially. They're both probably unhealthier than the average person. Dad smokes way too much to be healthy, and Mom has a plethora of issues. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No; it sounds awful, but I'm very doubtful I could be because I canNOT clean another human being. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? No. Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? They're black Pokemon pants with Pikachu jumping by the logo. Do you have any interesting pillow cases? No. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My knees. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Both, but situationally. Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? Only once for prom. They were maroon, like my dress. Wait... or maybe I didn't wear them? Fuck, idr. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American history is way more fascinating to me.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #219

“make a move and you pay for it; pick a lord and you pray to it.”

Do you actually love your grandpa? I don't really remember either of mine. I do from what I remember and have learned of them, though. Do you actually love your grandma? I don't remember my dad's mom at all, but I mean, I love her simply for being my dad's mother, who loved her. My mom's mom, yeah, even though she's. Hard to like a lot of the time. Do you have Facebook? Yes. What was the last thing you posted on someone’s wall? A birthday post. Do you have MySpace? My old one still exists, but I sure haven't been on it since it was current. What is your favorite kind of music? Heavy metal. Favorite soft drink? Mountain Dew Voltage is actually cocaine to me rip. Favorite food? Probably like... pepperoni pizza or cheeseburgers. I'm a full-blooded 'Merican. Have you ever felt replaced? OH, HAVE I! Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. Do you ever regret making a friend? I don't think so. Can you cure mental illness? I don't know about cure, but you can certainly learn how to handle it better and alleviate symptoms. Is God good? Define "God." Cats or dogs? Kitties. Do you play video games? Yeah, but I don't play nearly the variety that I used to. Do you take medication for mental health? Yes. Can you really be racist to a white person? No shit? Do you have a favorite hair accessory? What does it look like? No. What’s your favorite type of insect? Butterflies. What’s your LEAST favorite type of insect? Larvae, like maggots. Disgusting. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? What did you say? What’s his/her favorite food? Idk and I don't feel like checking. I rarely use it. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White is a mood with my mad-at-God-24/7 ass. It needs to stop honestly. I've become so hateful about religion. Not towards followers, mind you, just the concept itself. I could write a novel on this, but I don't feel like it. Just me and organized religion don't get along anymore. Have you ever slept in a water bed? On a water mattress, yeah. How do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period? Never tried, not for me. Sounds messy. Does your ex have a job? My most recent, I guess you mean? Yeah. Have you ever slept in a car? Yeah, on long drives to like New York and stuff. What was the last term of endearment you used (babe, hun, dear, etc)? *checks phone* "Sweetie." How often do you use Flickr? Never. I can't log into my account anymore since Yahoo said "fuck u Britt," so there's no point. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. Do you have a crush on the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend so y'know like- Have you ever got into an argument with the last person you kissed? We very much disliked each other at first, so... guess, lmao. Have you ever liked somebody who was nice to you, but horrible to everyone else? Eh, that's a mystery... Juan was very sweet to me, but I know he had a bad rep. I didn't really see how he interacted with others. How’s your appetite atm? It's normal. I'm not currently hungry. Out of all the conversations you’ve had recently, which one has made you smile or laugh the most? Sara randomly and excitedly texted me to tell me "Welcome to the Jungle" was on at work, which was on the radio both when I was there and she was here, so she thought of how much she missed me lakdjsfkalwe I smiled my face in half. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? Eh, it wasn't awful. It was for my school ID. What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. My sis went and said it was 1.) insane and 2.) disgusting. If you were five years younger but knew everything at that age that you’ve actually learned over the last five years, what is one thing you would definitely do differently? Go to the partial hospitalization program way sooner. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? To earn a happy, content future. What activity that you have to do every once in a while that you dread the most? "Every once in a while," I'd say clean Mitsu's cage. She is such a strange rat. Enjoys pets, but being picked up is a no sir. When people hear what you do for a living, what is the most typical question or comment they give you regarding your job? N/A If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? I'd probably write a poem. I know I wouldn't draw 'cuz fuck no am I doing so with a pen. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Uhhh. Idk. Anything I can think of, like lightning, I've seen because of the Internet. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? Probably like, young adult fiction/fantasy, something like that. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Lately, take one of my mood stabilizers. I need to get the box out... aaaand forget every day. I haven't felt any different without it tho so like... If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion, maybe. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? I'm not spending time musing over something that serious lakaljdsfawe. Would you ever travel to Africa? Hell yes. I desperately want to go to South Africa on the Tswalu Kalahari tour. Whose house were you last at? Besides my own, my older sister's. Have you ever had a near-death experience? I guess this depends on how near death you mean. I've been in one car accident that my mom managed to make minor only by being a good driver; realistically, we should've flipped, according to the cop. My mom just acted quickly enough. Then I heavily ODed, but I was given more than enough fluids in time to keep me surprisingly okay. I don't know what would've happened if I hadn't told Mom so quickly, and I don't care to think about it. I'm fucking lucky and don't want to think about what could've happened. Have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game? Tbh I myself could've been in this position when my depression was so bad, but then there's factors to that that lean towards it just having been a preference versus addiction. Idk. It's not a problem anymore so not worth debating over. Have you ever been fingered? That was the first cheat when you chose abstinence lmao. What do you do the most when you are online? Watch or listen to something on YouTube. What video game have you played the most? So in WoW you can actually type in /played to see how long you've played JUST that one character up to the years (or maybe days?) down to seconds and. I will never type it in lmao. Ongoing games are v depressing. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? No, those are thankfully gone. What is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? Be helplessly and openly in love with imaginary demons while dating each other lmao (she's a Freeza fanatic). When and why did you last cry? The second day of school because of math class. When was the last time you drank? I think like... back on the 4th of July. Or some days after 'cuz I know Mom and I didn't finish the container in one night. Do you wear jewelry a lot? Just my piercings, really. Save for on my ear lobes because the holes on the left are fucked up, yay. I'm going to wind up just slightly stretching the first holes when I can afford a small kit; actual studs or hoops look stupid. Never wanted gauges until the holes got too stretched by the weight of hoops; now something needs to be there. Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? My sister's (who doesn't even live here...) dog Bentley. I hate him and he doesn't like me. No, that doesn't mean I mistreat a pet. He's just a pain in the goddamn ass. Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? My mom. I don't know what would happen to me or how I'd cope at this time. Honestly, would you rather be single or in a relationship? I'm happier in a healthy relationship. Do any of your friends not get along at all? No. I mean, not that I know of. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? I'd be LOST without YouTube, then KM follows up close. #3, uh... Facebook or Tumblr, I suppose. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? No. Well, I do have a little book of Disney World character autographs, but I don't think that really counts. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? We use Wal-mart. Who is your favorite model? Sara is a gd model don't even @ me about it. What have you done that is out of character for you? The Joel thing is the most anti-Brittany thing I've ever done for sure. I can't think of anything more current that stands out, unless it's- NO WAIT, this was quite a few months ago, but I firmly stood against an opinion my psychiatrist made known. He's very talkative and open as hell about his beliefs in current events, and he said something about pit bulls where I was just like... um no sir. I wasn't going to be rude though to HIM of all people so just said I don't base dogs by their breed and shut up. Awkward silence and we moved on. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? LGBT acceptance and rights. I already protest by having given up Chic-fil-a okay I care y'all. What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? Who knows... What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? Idk. I'm lucky to not have really been told that... What are you most thankful for? Thinking it all over, probably being born where I am. Boy is America FUCKED UP in some places, but boy would I be in a MUCH worse place if I was born in, say, North Korea, between my mental issues, sexuality, and opinions that can go to either end of the spectrum. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? I love them! You can find the coolest, wackiest shit. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy with a passion. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No. What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? I genuinely think I'm a nice person that has other's well-being in mind. What is priceless to you? Love, in any form. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhh. I guess more than anything, I'm proud of my distant cousin for her unwavering love for and loyalty to her daughter when it came to escaping the Middle East and her dictatorial husband. Read Not Without My Daughter, it's great. Do you keep a budget? I don't have an income. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Rested, a good night's sleep following being truly exhausted. Refreshed, oh man, gimme a hot, long shower. Who depends on you the most? Nobody. Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Hell no. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. I was entirely convinced the world would literally end if Jason left. That night still doesn't feel real. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? Colleen and Mom once fought after I'd ignored her, so I guess? It wasn't my wish or anything though for her to do it; Mom had shit to say by her own volition, and I wasn't going to tell my mother "no you can't do that." Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? No? Have you ever ridden on a subway or train and what did you like about it? Nope. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Yes. What embarrasses you instantly? A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!!! It is SO easy to embarrass me, including second-handedly. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? Hell no, I'm most certainly not in the necessary shape, and quite honestly I'm not that willing to risk my life for random people that could be assholes. What do you think should be censored? Idk. I have mixed feelings on censorship, no matter how stupid it seems. Eh... yeah, idk. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Queen Victoria and William Clark. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Depends on who and obviously if we're even compatible. Have you ever fired a gun? No. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Sincerely caring for them, probably. Who is a female role model in your life? My mom, in some ways. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Jfc a lot, I don't want to think about it. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My future, honestly. It's hard picturing my elderly days. Like I'm not suicidal anymore, I just don't really... realize I'll get there, I guess. I can't picture myself being old and alive. Would you travel to space if possible? No, too long of a trip. Are you an optimistic person? I'm a realist. Do you consider yourself more realistic OR idealistic? ^ Have you ever felt bi-curious? I started out accepting myself as bisexual through thinking myself as bicurious. I quickly realized "bisexual" was more accurate than "bicurious," but it was an easier thing to shift acceptance towards in regards to yourself when you thought you were straight for 21 years. Are you a fan of U.S. President Donald Trump? No sir. I agree with some of his ideas, but I hate him as an asshole person without a trace of manners. Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Multiple. I'd assume most people know someone who fits at least one criterion there. Are you green-eyed? Not exactly, but they definitely have a green hue to them. They're a gray/green blue. Would you consider UFC fighting and WWE real sports events? I think it's beyond debate that a lot of it is staged, but I mean, I guess to a degree? You still have to fight. It's physical exertion. Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? No. Wait. I can't remember if my grandmother had cancer or not... but I don't think so. She was just old. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? An office, definitely. In my work-hunting as well as actual work experience, office work is probably the only job I could actually do that doesn't require a degree... Do you have a favorite wild animal? Why? You can't know me and not be fully aware meerkats are my favorite animal. Why? Ho boy. I love social species, and meerkats have such strong personalities, and holy shit are those little things brave as fuck. They're so GOSH DARN CUTE!!!! too, and their loyalty to each other is astounding. I love how playful and curious the little guys are, and... just wow okay, I could write an actual essay on how I adore meerkats so goddamn much. Do you have any unusual, uncommon phobias? I'm sure there are other people afraid of whale sharks, but I don't think it's common? And is an actual phobia of pregnancy uncommon? Idk. Do you prefer Android or iPhone? I hate my Android. I've had an iPhone in the past, and it was great. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? All, depending on my mood. Most often I'd say I like sweet. Do you believe climate change is real? We can't be friends if you don't. Do you believe in evolution OR creationism? Evolution. Do you think people can really predict the future? Nah. Have you been to a lot of shrinks? I hate that word. Just call them therapists. But yeah. How often do you clean your room? Not often enough. I need to dust... Any movies coming out soon that you want to see? I DESPERATELY wanna see the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" one. Those books were my CHILDHOOD. What was the last fear you overcame? I don't know about totally overcame, but vocational rehab helped me quite a bit with answering the phone to numbers I didn't recognize. Have you ever hurt yourself trying to crack a body part? No, nothing on me really cracks. Well no, both my big toes do, but no, I haven't hurt myself trying to crack them. What’s the worst part about winter? The days where it's cold BUT ALSO WINDY asdkljfaklwej;awe Summer? It's too fucking hot and probably humid, too. Spring? POLLEN. Fall? Literally nothing. :') Are you allergic to anything? Pollen and silver. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Like, once. Which country has the most fascinating culture? Oh boy, idk. Who does your favorite song? Idrk what my current favorite song is. I say my all-time fave is "False Flags" by Massive Attack, but it's not something I constantly wanna listen to. I guess you could maybe say it's "Headache" by Motionless In White; I play and repeat that a lot. I've really been digging them lately. When was the last time you wore makeup? Shit dude, idk. Months ago. Do you prefer males or females or both? I'm generally afraid of men, but I mean, I don't "prefer" one over the other if he's a good guy. Where in your town do you go when you wanna chill with a few friends? I don't have any friends I go out with. But there's nowhere to go here anyway. Where’s the best place to get coffee? N/A Have you ever seen someone struggle with an addiction? My dad was an alcoholic, but he's recovered. He loved (idk if he still does it) fantasy football, too. Pretty sure I got my addictive personality from him, lol. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Early 2017. Do you like cranberry juice? omfg NO. Do you play any zombie-killing video games? The Last of Us is fucking dope, but I didn't finish it before my PS3 broke. :'( I like the Resident Evil series too, and some of those games have zombies or similar creatures. And The Walking Dead game tears my heart out every fucking season. What is the dominating genre on your mp3 player/iPod? Varying forms of metal. Do you have a book shelf? No. What website do you spend way too much time on? YouTube is ALWAYS open. I constantly either watch let's players and a few other kinds of YTers, moving windows around so I can see it and do other things, or listen to music. Do you like wind chimes? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!! WINDCHIMES!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a fetish? No. Do you have a pet fish? No. Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful and calming, but not worth it for me personally. They don't have much of a personality at all, and cleaning a tank so much for just a fish isn't for me. Do you like kettle corn? (That sweet and salty popcorn) Yessss! Do you enjoy classic rock? Hell yeah, man. When was the last time you went for a walk, just cause? Not since I was at Sara's last. Do you listen to Type O Negative? No. Do you have any fillings or cavities? Yeah. Have you gotten your wisdom teeth taken out yet? No, and thankfully I don't need to. One was very close to needing to be, but it has just enough room. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? "Depending on what I’m signing up for, I’m likely to at least skim it." <<< This. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? I had a party every year up to... idk what age. And no, I only invited friends. Do you like when things are color coordinated? Yes. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? Yeah, and no. Can you juggle? Nope. Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? Who hasn't? How often do you use bobby pins? Never. My hair's really too short for them. Well, I'd probably pin the right side up if I was doing something like cleaning. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Road. What are your school colors? Blue and white. Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah. Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? Actually yeah. Do you like Nerds candy? Yes I do.