#he LEGIT CAN'T TELL

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Funniest thing ever is that Hobie has NO IDEA how cocky and arrogant he comes off as.

Like the first time we meet Spider-punk he comes off as so obnoxious and condescending and oblivious 😭😭

He's making fun of Miles' suit and giving him pointers and cracking jokes and shit and we're watching this like

'who the hell do this man think he is frfr'

Cause we write Hobie all friendly and warm and stuff meanwhile most people's ACTUAL first reaction to Hobie and his introduction is confusion and distain 😭😭

Couldn't understand a word he was saying and he was still pissing me off 😭

Meanwhile Hobie probably thinks he's the most inviting and friendly looking person on planet Earth.

He probably thinks him and Miles hit it off right away. NO ONE has told Hobie how he comes off so he just.. doesn't know.

Imagine Miles breaking it to him like

Miles: You know Hobie, the first time we met, I couldn't stand you! Then you helped me out and I was like 'huh, this guy isn't so bad'-

Hobie: You what, mate? Why??

Miles: What do you mean 'why'? You have the biggest ego ever!

Hobie: ...What

Gwen: Yeah, Hobie. You do come off a bit.. gosh, how do I say this?

Pavitr: Conceited? Cocky? Really really arrogant?

Gwen: No, I-

Miles: Egotistical? Pretentious? Big-headed? Kinda annoying?

Gwen: PATRONIZING! That's the word I was thinking of.

Pavitr and Miles: Oh!! Yeah, that one too.

Hobie: Please tell me you're taking the piss. You're joking. Please tell me you're joking right now.

Gwen: You bringing up the time you were briefly a model?

Pavitr: Poking fun at people's fashion taste 30 seconds after meeting them?

Miles: Giving unsolicited (but eventually useful) advice no one asked for?

Gwen, Pavitr, and Miles in unison: 'I was this cool the whole time'?

Hobie: For fucks sake.

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

[woah-i-am-here]

Role Swap!AU Doodles for a fanfic I want to write later. Basically World Tour but Alejandro and Noah have their roles and part of their upbringing swapped. Noah is the youngest of his siblings who are famous and recognized in areas and he's the ignored genius who's in the show for the first time trying to get recognition from his family, and Alejandro is a capable guy who got unfairly eliminated in season one and came back for another shot at the million.

Remind me to never pick up digital drawing again. It is p a i n f u l. I want to lie in the floor, ty very much.

[epickiya722]

What do you mean you can put your top fave five in an poll image thingy?!

If you want to do it ⬇

[bookwyrminspiration]

saw someone on ig complaining about how a fic with a beautiful, evocative title was actually kinky mpreg erotica as if that's not a keystone of ao3. anyway. unrelated I have opened a new tab

[summonthebats]

If ghosts can spot the hell bound

Charles, good shiny soul– I’m the brawn!

Mostly innocent ghost client: You? You? That bitch sits here, thrice your ghost age, stinking of hellfire, spiced with magic and too articulate to just call me an idiot but you are brawn? You are a sacrificial twink, you’re the dog they put in with the cheetahs, you are delusional

Edwin, resting bitch face:

Mostly innocent ghost client unable to sweat: Huh

[izzyspussy]

okay so for the other thing i said in the tags hwqoghks. the way mickey punches that guy so hard he flips over. absolutely unnecessary btw.

but just as importantly. the way ian laughs at that. and the way he grins to himself when the guy insults him because he knows mickey's gonna be his black knight about it lmao.

[aparticularbandit]

Look, I know Junko is the Ultimate Fashionista, but in my head, she's really the Ultimate Influencer.

Like how Hiro is technically the Ultimate Clairvoyent, but in my head, he's really the Ultimate Con Man.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte Election Story, 6th Anniversary Event (JPN 2023)

I managed to get Comte's collection story during the 6th year anniversary event in the JPN version of the game. As usual, my translation skills are rudimentary at best, so this is just a rough/general sense of the contents. Rest of the translation is below the cut:

Sweet and lovely, our everyday life is irreplaceable. After becoming a vampire, I’ve lived with him forever like this. I seek out more and more of the man I love than anyone else--

Comte: Good morning, MC. You’re up very early today.

I went down to the dining room a few hours before dawn--only to find Comte nursing a teacup gracefully at one end of the table.

MC: Good morning. I managed to wake up somehow…how about you?

Comte: Actually, I just got back.

When I asked, he told me that the host of the party started talking to him all night, and they didn’t part ways until after midnight.

Comte: I was going to finish this cup of tea to unwind, and then try to rest til noon.

He runs a hand through his freshly washed hair and brings the cup to his mouth in a series of elegant gestures that makes me fall in love with him all over again. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been up all night, but my heart readily starts beating faster.

Even Comte seems to notice my reaction…

Comte: …looking at me like that, are you seducing me?

Comte's eyes narrowed mischievously and he left his cup behind to approach me. A beautiful beast gazed at me as if to take aim at his prey, and he drew me in with supple hands.

MC: I didn’t intend it that way but…it’s true that I'm captivated. Your damp hair and lovely gestures are so sexy that I’m at a loss…

Comte: Saying such a thing…you’re a naughty woman, MC. Even though I tried to quell my ardor with a cold shower and hot tea...I’m glad to hear it, even though I’m far from calm.

When I raised my head--having looked down in bashful embarrassment--I can see burgeoning in Comte’s eyes an indisputable, feverish desire…

MC: Ah, mm…

His soft lips playfully brushed against the nape of my neck.

Comte: No one else would be awake at this hour…though we could be interrupted any moment. Make sure to keep your voice down.

He chuckled a little before a hot sigh caressed my skin, dropping kisses one after another. He circled around the usual place he’d sink his fangs into me, and every brush of his lips made heat gather low in my body…

MC: So impatient…Abel…

Comte: …I’ve been waiting for you to give it to me

The corners of his lips lifted a little, before he buried his fangs into my neck.

MC: Mn, ah…aaaahh…

Comte: I love you so much...and whenever we aren't together, I’m starved of you. We were miles apart all night yesterday. I’ll show you just how much I missed you.

His voice--half-intoxicated with the ecstasy of my blood--was sweet and husky with his desire.

Comte: Before you, I’m always a love-starved beast.

As I gaze into those eyes burning with emotion, an electric sensation tingles down my spine. 

(Ah, I’m just the same. It’s not only my heart, my body is always seeking you out too.)

MC: Me too…all day and night, I’m always thinking about you…

Comte: --Come here. Take as much of me as you want

At his encouragement and incitement, I sink my fangs into him.

MC: ah, ha…

Pleasure washes over me in an endless cascade, every sensation in my body heightened and sharp. I clenched my hands tighter through his wet hair, and dug my fangs into him greedily to devour that wellspring of ecstasy. 

Comte: I'm happy to be able to share love with you like this, as a vampire.

Like drops of water moistening desiccated earth, every crimson drop fills us to the brim--

[belleyellsaboutturtles]

The Wrong Side of the Portal Raph from cabin 10 was wondering if you have enough water before you do anything fun!

"Raph wanted to swim with his family and maybe some new friends if you want to, but it's important to have enough water first. I have some extra water bottles if you need them!"

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

"Oh, cool!" Smokey gratefully accepted the water. It must have been refrigerated or had ice in it, because it felt cool in his hands. He smiled up at Wrong Side of the Portal Raph happily. "Thank you!"

Now for the...other part. Smokey nervously rolled the water bottle between his hands, but kept smiling. "And thank you for the offer, but I can't swim and don't really care for the ocean." And that was before he had a fire spirit take up residence in him. And before his cabin magically flooded. In the past, water had been okay, even when he couldn't swim, because he'd had his brothers with him. It'd been enough to quell his nerves. Plus, he had a big inner tube to hang out on!

Ever since Sparky had moved in, he'd gotten a lot less comfortable with it, even with his bros around. It'd taken his nerves and turned them into an outright aversion. Smokey did not like deep water or being submerged. He could handle shallows, but they were, well...shallow. No one could truly swim in them. He still had his inner tube, but floating around his with his bros had become a lot less relaxing and a lot more anxiety inducing.

The solution his family had found was letting him ride with one of them - normally Raph. It still made the box turtle nervous and Sparky hissed in his head like a cat being threatened with a bath, but being with someone he trusted wholeheartedly helped. It helped a lot too that if he was on Raph, he wasn't touching the water and had - in his mind, anyway - less of a chance of falling off. (He still clung to his brother like an octopus though.)

"Thanks though!"

[moreaugriffins]

Dr Who: The Brigadier is a silly military man. He's stubborn, and unflappable, and extremely loyal to the Doctor and his men (soldiers). This man can deal with anything, like a champ. Water off his back, yknow?

Lethbridge-Stewart books: This dude is getting traumatised every single day and he doesn't get a moment's break. Anything that could happen to him, will. Will he cope with the trauma? not really. He's a resilient dude, but he'll just pretend most of it didn't happen, for his own sanity

[siriuslytruee]

as soon as i see a 'james fell first but regulus fell harder' story i start giggling screaming and kicking my feet in the air everytime.

[fiepige]

I know it's irrational but still!

[wednesdaythesecond]

are my eyes going or is Bilvy going grey?

[randomnameless]

It's funny that the “dead siblings” aspect of Edelgard's backstory manages to, in spite of how under-developed and under-written it is, be so wildly contradictory that the only way for it to make any sense with the rest of what we know about her past is to assume that she made all that up in order to gain sympathy points from Byleth; it's almost certainly not what the writers intended, and i don't doubt for a second that Hopes contradicts that theory somewhere, but whatever makes Fódlan make more sense.

Apparently in Nopes they don't know they died or it's just a "rumour"?

Then what, they were all hiding or partying very far away, when their sister became Emperor, over Hans 2's claim? Seriously?

I don't really understand the obsession the devs had with making Adrestia a muddled mumbo jumbo -

we are told Ionius tried to centralise power on itself, the lolcalisation tried to erase it but we're in 2023 : Ionius wanted to get rid of the consort kin system, women feel like they can't inherit a thing, the Emperor (at least the one during the Southern Church incident) takes very badly any "revolts" and get rid heirs he doesn't like, personally appoints people, Ionius erased Hyrm (to the last blood descendant!) and sent his army and funky mages to Ordelia - outside of Adrestia!

Some nobles like to hear young women "sing" and if they can't pay for "singing lessons" they will pay for young men instead.

Adrestian Nobles, unlike their northern barbarian counterparts, stay holed up in their capital, and rarely return to their duchies/lands/territories.

The devs, from this, tried to paint a land where corruption is rampant, a sort of epitome of decadence complete with ASOIAF's "if you need to say you're the king chances are no one thinks you are the king" with Ionius's bids to centralise power on himself, in a nutshell : this Adrestia is rotten, the decadent version of the one sang about in praises or mentionned in old legends.

And yet, even if they describe the land as completely bonkers and everyone more or less is in for their own hide... Adrestian Nobles, the very same ones we're told hired Doro to hear her song, cannot be depicted too badly, because, hey, we're working with them.

Sure, we don't hear Leopold and Waldemar went to the brothel - i mean to the Opera - to hear popular young songstresses sing. But Leopold'n'Waldemar were depicted as corrupt nobles, only in for their money or own gain as the reason why they sided with Aegir to get rid of Ionius, and from what we know of Leopold, he wasn't picking roses and daisies in Brigid too.

And yet, because they magically became allies of Supreme Leader, all the issues that could be laid at the feet of Imperial Nobles, especially theirs as the most important nobles of them all, are... absent.

No one ever asks Leopold'n'Waldemar were are the other imperial children, or why they betrayed Ionius. No mention of Leopold, the Minister of War and a seasoned fighter, having personally trained Hans 2 or maybe acknowledging his talents as a warrior - or lack of compared to Supreme Leader's, no, nothing.

Asking Leopold why Caspar isn't his heir, even if he doesn't have a crest, since he shown great abilities to fight? No, never.

In the end, we see those crap nobles, but we never tell anything or do anything with them. Ionius was yeeted away in Nopes (maybe because including Ionius in the story, who was betrayed by Leopold'n'Waldemar, wouldn't have worked with the idea of making them Supreme Leader's allies) and Aegir is never given any voice to the chapter, or when he is, it's to be a living retcon - he wanted to take part, just like Leopold'n'Waldemar, in Supreme Leader's MAGA war, when he rebelled against Ionius who centralised power on himself? To MAGA? - because nothing should "taint" our vision of the heroine.

FE16 already teased Supreme Leader's version of the Insurrection being horse dung when Hanneman told Hubert he doesn't know what Vestra Sr rebelled, and how Vestra Sr rebelled because there was something, rather, someone, more important to him than eons of loyalty to the Hresvelg family.

Is it the same "reason" that made Arundel, when he was still Volkhard, put his niece to safety - in the kingdom !!! - with her mother, before being Slithered.

Those clues, complete with the Ferdie paralogue in SS - of course unavailable in CF - reveal that while Ludwig is a piece of slime, he isn't the piece of slime depicted by Supreme Leader (that'd be her Uncle) ; hell, all of Ludwig's actions (both in that paralogue and the experiments on the Hresvelg kids) were done by Thales, with Ludwig as his scapegoat.

So why? What is the truth behind the Insurrection, and behind Ludwig's role?

Is Adrestia deliberately "opaque" to make "the world look deeper" than it is, or because it's supposed to imply Mole People slithering around made the thing "way too complicated"?

Or is it because the more we learn about Adrestia - and what led to Ionius being deposed - the more we realise Supreme Leader's words are, at best, misguided, at worst, straight out lies?

But in the process of "muddling" everything, coherence and consistency was sacrificed, Hans 2 disappeared and the plot dgaf - heck people don't know what happened to the other imperial children, and no one every bats an eye at this, especially since the Emperor was not the first, nor the second in line (and Supreme Leader isn't supposed to be like Ashnard who might fed people who ask those questions to Rajaion, or just straight out tell them the truth before laughing).

I still believe they exist, but since Jugdral, the FE series had issues writing "missing royal siblings" having any signification to the plot - bar being a late hour "Falchion with legs" - even if I HC that Julia isn't killed when her unit dies in the 2nd gen because the Imperial Army recognises her and captures her to return her to Arvis (they rescue her from those Isaachian barbarians!)

And yet, again, compared to Glen, Hans 2's absence stings, and it's, again, an example of coherence and logic being sacrificed for the sake of parasocial relationships.

It sucks.

[aro-aizawa]

me, whenever i figure a plot twist in a 20 year old anime: oh wow i am SO big brained rn i am such a genius

me, two minutes later, conpletely blindsided by a major plot twist: