#he HATES cowboy clothes lmaoo

[duusheen]

Hope's been trying not to think about everything that happened with Pandora. For now, she's just enjoying the ranch like when she was a kid and trying to get her boyfriend? Sterling to put on the damn cowboy hat

[goshikitsutomusmommy]

“Incorrect Quotes with Haikyuu Boys„

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

Synopsis : Different Quotes From Brooklyn-Nine-Nine as Haikyuu Characters

Genre : Comedy

Pairing(s) : Goshiki x reader , Atsumu x reader , Tsukishima x reader , Lev x reader

Word Count : 1.07k

Warning(s) : She/her pronouns used , slight violence , slight timeskip spoiler

Masterlist Link : Here

*Shiratorizawa manager in this*

[Name] : Mm. All right. Haha, C’est la vie (“It’s life.” in French). Let me grab your student ID numbers ‘cause I will be filing an official student complaint with Coach Washijou.

[Name] , Semi , Shirabu : *All laugh the joke off waveringly whilst Semi and Shirabu side glancing each other*.

Coach Washijou : Why did a just receive a student complaint about ya two?

Shirabu : I can answer this. Because our manager is a goblin.

*Shiratorizawa manager in this*

Coach Washijou : Ye’ll stay after school hours at the gym for extra practice today.

Goshiki : Darn it. I had a belly dancing class today! Today is Egyptian undulation.

[Name] : Ooh!~ Show us some moves!

Goshiki : Sure! *Tries to get on top of the bench*.

Coach Washijou : Dismissed!

Kyoutani : It’s my birthday. I hate birthdays. If you wish me a happy birthday, I will punch you.

Oikawa : You’re a funny little bird, Mad Dog-Chan. Happy birthday!

*Gets punched in the guts*

*Inarizaki manager in this*

[Name] : *Holds up two pictures* Here are two pictures. One is your gym locker and the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?

Atsumu : *Points to the right one*, That one is the dump?

[Name] : They’re both your locker!

Atsumu : Gah! A should’ve guessed that, that’s good!

*Inarizaki manager in this*

Part 1/3

Atsumu : A can see that yer upset, but let’s just sit down and talk about it.

[Name] : Done talking! *Throws boxing gloves*, Time to dance.

Atsumu : Fine. But a should warn ya. A took three years of tap.

*Inarizaki manager in this*

Part 2/3

Atsumu : Again, [Name], it’s so good to see ya. Just outta curiosity, how did ye find out about this?

[Name] : I’m the club manager at Inarizaki High... Kita-San told me. I know you’re trying to set me up with some guy in class 7 as a joke!

Atsumu : What? That’s crazy! ‘Samu, come in ‘ere and stand in front of ma body and tell ‘er that’s crazy!

*Atsumu gets punched by the manager*

Atsumu : Ow! My lucky face!

[Name] : You gonna talk to me now?

Atsumu : Sure. If ya could be any vacation—

*Gets punched again*

Atsumu : Ow!

*Inarizaki manager in this*

Part 3/3

Atsumu : So we good?

[Name] : We good. And for the record... If I can be any kind of vacation... I’d be lake trip.

Atsumu : Classic!

*Karasuno manager in this*

Nishinoya : Come on. You’re not even moving. Let’s go.

Asahi : Get your hands off me! I’ve heard about this in the news! You’re cyber-bullying me!

Nishinoya : Shh!

Asahi : I’m getting [Name]! Get the hell away from me!

Nishinoya : No, you’re very misinformed. Please don’t get [Name]—

*Slight timeskip spoiler*

*Karsuno manager in this*

[Name] : Here’s the plan: We’re gonna go to nationals, you’re gonna enjoy and fall in love with volleyball, you’re gonna want to pursue being a volleyball player as a career. And that’s a [Surname] guarantee.

Tsukishima : Your last [Surname] guarantee you made was that you could dunk a basketball.

*Flashback*

[Name] : *In a ladder with a basketball in hand*, I never said I couldn’t use a ladder. [Surname] guarantee achieved! *Tries dunking the basketball but falls off the ladder and misses the shot*.

*Nekoma manager in this*

Part 1/3

Kuroo : Now, I have been taking notes on points of friction in this gym for three years. *Pulls out a poster that is highly detailed with work flow strategies for Nekoma*, The red areas are places where no work gets done. If we can fix these problems without anyone knowing what we’re doing, we will make progress.

Coach Nekomata : Are you saying you want to secretly perform scientific experiments on your friends and colleagues to increase efficiency?

Kuroo : Yes.

Coach Nekomata : Sounds fun, let’s do it.

*Nekoma manager in this*

Part 2/3

Coach Nekomata : Tell me about the Haiba-[Surname] reaction...

Kuroo : Lev gets cold a lot because of what he calls his—

*Flashback*

Lev : Medically diagnosed thin skin.

*Flashback over*

Kuroo : So he goes to the lost and found, and he grabs something that’s usually unflattering... That’s when [Name] usually gets involved.

*Flashback*

*Lev walking past [Name] wearing an oddly knitted sweater*

[Name] : *Condescending laughter* Sweet sweater, Lev! You look like you’re starting in an Albanian remake of The Cosby Show.

Lev : ...

[Name] : Dr. Huxtable! Dr. Huxtable!

*Flashback over*

Kuroo : [Name] is completely useless when Lev is wearing lost and found clothes.

Coach Nekomata : Well, I can’t really blame her on this one. Maybe we should just uh... empty lost and found.

Kuroo : Already done, sir.

*Lev walking past them in a white cowboy fringed jacket*

Kuroo : Don’t worry! I had a backup plan. I distracted [Name] with a mirror. She’s like a cockatiel, sir— Fascinated by her own reflection...

*[Name] staring at her reflection*

[Name] : Muah! Hello, sexy!~ How are you?

Lev : *Not glancing up* Right back at ya!

Coach Nekomata : Well done...

*Nekoma manager in this*

Part 3/3

Kuroo : Sir, I’m begging you, please, we have to stop!

Coach Nekomata : The problem is, we didn’t take Yaku into accounts. In our next trial—

*[Name] clears her throat whilst dramatically turning around on the office chair*

[Name] : Hello, boys. Welcome to your own office!~ I hear you’re trying to make the precinct most efficient.

Kuroo : [Name], what are you doing in the coach’s chair?

[Name] : I’ve narrowed the problem down to one location: The Coach-Kuroo vortex. Things would go a lot faster if the two of you did less experimenting and more working... And I’m not the only one who thinks that.

*Double clapping and the whole Nekoma team enters the office*.

Coach Nekomata : Well, I suppose it’s possible we may have been a tad enthusiastic in our pursuit of efficiency—

Kuroo : Really? A tad, Icarus?

Coach Nekomata : Fine, message received. Kuroo and I will get right to work.

[Name] : *Still in Coach’s chair*, Great, that will be all. Thank you.

Coach Nekomata : Get the hell out of my chair.

[Name] : Yeah, All right, I pushed it a little bit on that one. Okay~ Bye!

Kuroo : Today we face the worst Tokyo has to offer— Fukurodani Academy.

*Kuroo and Bokuto walking in slow motion towards each*

Kuroo : Fukurodani captain, Bokuto, we meet again.

Bokuto : Nekoma captain, Kuroo, your fly’s down— I made you look!

Kuroo : I didn’t look. And I’m wearing shorts, so there is no fly.

Bokuto : That’s not what your mom said.

Kuroo : You make no sense.

Bokuto : And now I’m inside your head.

{Pretend this is a divider pls}

Author’s Note : GAHHAHSA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 90 NOTES, I can make this a series if you’d like, they’re really fun to make and think of as characters and I just have to write them down as soon as I see them LMAOO