#hdgjdnsmgs tonight wasnt. as bad as i thought it was gonna be. work-wise anyway
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
,
#hdgjdnsmgs tonight wasnt. as bad as i thought it was gonna be. work-wise anyway#me n mom got talking about maybe going to go see my dad and one of his older friends play- hes friends with my mom too so hes#with her on the whole Situation nshit i think but we got talking and i knew i'd be in a fight-y kinda mood if i went#and we somehow got on the topic about how dad said he knew id be 'sensitive to' the fact hes got a dog#after. yknow. me begging for one for almost two decades now. for literally as long as i can remember.#and then we got talking about how we did have a dog at one point and had to give him up because dad was just#such a selfish dickhead and wanted to keep him in the kitchen as apposed to the rest of the house and its#sstill a really sore spot for me but just. hes such a dickhead and i cant even talk to him about it cuz he'll just#make it all about him. and make himself the victim and pull the 'im SORRY i ruined EVERYONES lives' card#when he'll hold my entire fucking existence and being here over my head no goddamn problem#bc ehs my Father and i Need to treat him with Respect and kiss the ground he walks on and all this other shit and jsut#its always about him. it cant ever not be about him and even now that we're seperated i still fukcing#worry about him breaking in and eating all our food- cuz he'd do that when we lived together; eat all the food i liked to eat or wanted#to eat for myself and just raid the fridge during the witching hours and just. i dunno. its my shark week so im emotional to begin with#and the me seeing him and knowing id pick a fight just. i dunno. i hate that he just fuckign took my childhood from me#took christines childhood from her too and just has his head so far up his ass it turned into his neck#because i cant have a dog btu he can inherit his bitches bitch and everythings supposed to be just fucking fine#because everytime i wanna be selfish or want something it gets turned back around on me and Im the terrible person and hes#sso fucking frustrating. i hate him so much. i hate that i cant just cut him out like christine can#i hate that i got a fuckign taste of what it was like to have a dad and that im chasing whats supposed to be a normality#but its something i just cant fucking have and its always out of reach and its an endless fucking cycle of just#never being enough and then being the ass end of some sick joke for some indefinite hell loop of time
0 notes