#hcbms

[exposingtheweb]

We’ve All Been the Villain

Let’s talk about these random accounts messaging me about things Aubrey supposedly did before I even knew him. Honestly, what’s the endgame here? Sharing stories about how he was the "villain" in someone else’s life—what exactly do you think that’s supposed to accomplish?

Here’s the thing: he’s not doing those things to me. He’s not that person in my life now. So what’s the point you’re trying to make? That he’s human? That he reacted to narcissistic abuse? Newsflash: that’s how most people would respond when pushed to their breaking point.

If you really want to talk about villains and victims, let’s flip the script for a moment. If someone asked my ex-husband about me, I’m sure he’d paint me as the bad guy. He’d probably rant about how I stripped the house and took my cat. But let’s not stop there—ask about what he did. Ask about his affair. Ask about how he took three of my cats from the home I was paying all the bills for, while he entertained another woman in my house. Ask about how he went through my things, emptied my dresser, and packed a suitcase for me like I was being evicted from my own life. Ask how he had the audacity to blame me for his cheating. Ask how he followed me from room to room, refusing to leave me alone, while I packed the bare essentials just to get out.

If you only hear one side of the story, sure, I’d look like the crazy one. But let’s dig a little deeper: what exactly was my husband reacting to? What was she doing to make him react the way he did? Was she bragging about sleeping with someone else, lying about it until she got caught? Was she getting in his face, sneaking off to hotels, and pretending everything was fine?

The point is, people are messy. Relationships are messy. Everyone has a side to their story, but dragging up the past to make someone look bad today? That’s just lazy. Try again.

[dragmetoqt]

Things my Step Kids bio mother does:

Tells her kids that they can’t talk to their dad (my bf) and tells everyone that they don’t want to talk to their dad

Refuses to schedule doctor appointments on our days, but tells the whole world that she does everything alone and never gets help for doctor appointments. Says my bf is not involved parent

Was a stay at home mom for 8 years while my bf worked 2 jobs, but now that they are split up she claims she “did it alone the entire time”.

Tells the judge everytime she got arrested that me and my bf “provoked her”, while she has a protective order that says she cannot be within a certain distance from my bf and continues to touch, push, intimidate, laugh at, and stare at. All caught on video and vice recordings

Claims she has “receipts” about how she was “abused” but never showed them in court. While my bf provided pictures and police reports of scars and bruises he got from her and she claims he’s “lying”

Refuses to work a full time job bc she insists that she needs to be at school with the kids (more on that later) while my bf works full time and claims that he’s a dead beat. They have 50/50 custody right now….

Constantly misses work to be at school with the kids and harasses staff members, parents, and CHILDREN ( third graders )

Has made a 8 year old child cry and have anxiety going to school because she makes faces and says nasty comments towards the child and her mom

Got into a fight with a bunch of moms and had prevented our daughter from talking to their daughters because “she’s ugly” or “she’s a awful friend you can’t talk to her”

Constantly reposts videos on TikTok talking negatively about my bf while also reposting TikToks that say “no revenge bc I stay quiet while you talk about me”…..narcissistic behavior

Refuses to let the kids have any picture of their dad unless SHES in it ( provoking my bf by showing pictures of he and him kissing in the past)

Claims she has “moved on from her abuser”, but refuses to delete old pictures of my bf and continues to want attention from him

Called me “the mistress” in front of many parents at a field trip and degraded me to others publicly

Claims my bf is a cheater, when he broke with her before I even started talking to him and she refused to be broken up with bc “why would you do that to our children” and still would like to get back with him after a year of court battles and constant arrests

Gaslights and manipulates the children and intimidates them into telling the amicus ( children’s lawyer) lies about me and my bf. Forced them to say that they see us kissing and repeats what she has said about me and my bf to the amicus

Our daughter crying and begging to stay with us whenever she has to go back to her moms house and yet tells the whole world that they rather stay with her

Manipulating the kids into believing their dads bed is “dirty” bc I sleep in it and forced them to never sleep in the same bed with their dad, no matter if they have a bad dream or they are scared. The “bed is dirty bc his gf is dirty”

Refuses to let my bf post any pictures of the kids bc only she can show how happy they are, while also saying bc he doesn’t posts pictures of them that he doesn’t love them

When she found out that me and my bf were dating, she went to our job ( which you can only enter with a badge, but she waited for someone to open the gate and followed them in), waited hours in the parking lot until my bf went to his truck to then physically harm him and hitting him multiple times in the face and attempted to steal his phone bc she “needed money”. And she brought the kids WITH HER and the kids are now traumatized from the whole altercation. My bf refused to let her leave so the cops can come and handle it.

( Before a protective order was in place) She verbally harassed my bf into meeting up with her at a gas station, which he was with me at the time. She claimed she needed medicine for the kids and didn’t have any money ( she moved in with her parents that have a lot of money, but used it as an excuse to see him). We met up with her and recorded her grabbing his arm when he tried passing her the bag of medicine, attempted to push his fingers back and try to steal the phone…again…all while screaming for help that he is hurting her. That night she got arrested and was out on probation

Tells the kids that their dad doesn’t love them and only cares about me, doesn’t want them calling him daddy or saying they love him

Tells the kids that I ruin their family and that they cannot like me, while we play games together and our daughter said “I love you” and calls me her other mom/ big sister. Our son laughs and plays with me and I take naps with our daughter

Got arrested during a field trip bc she continued to touch, laugh at, stare at, and pushed me. She is now on limited house arrest with an ankle monitor

Continues to harass everyone around us and the children, gets arrested multiple times, assaults my bf and me many times, yet never faces any hard consequences and continues to roam free. Whereas if my bf EVER fought back, he would have immediately been arrested and have the kids taken away…..

Random: but when her sister passed away, she posted pictures of herself and the kids smiling and the last photo had the one picture of her sister…even though she has a history of hating her family and bad mouthing all of them

She admitted to my bf and her best friend at the time years ago that her father molested her, but when we brought it up in court (bc she can lose the kids for having a pedophile where they live) she claimed that she made it all up. So knowing that, the kids cannot be alone with the grandpa but can still live with him…. I love the justice system

She would mock God in front of my bfs family when they were together and mocked those who go to church after traumatic events, yet after they broke up became a Christian and boasts how God is on her side and that she’s the perfect follower…

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are things that I’ve been told that she has done but she continues to deny it to keep a perfect image of herself. Yet the Justin system seems to continue to make excuses for her. No matter how many times my bf has had to take the hits and punches and harassment, no matter how we were told to record and document everything, no matter what we do she continues to get away with it. Narcissistic people are so draining, and I’m tired of her constantly being an ugly person. The kids and my boyfriend don’t deserve it.

[samuelsemos10]

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[regedu]

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[needingtospillmythoughts]

Losing my mind lately. Dealing with a HCBM has my anxiety through the fuckn roof. Being a stepmom really fucking sucks sometimes

[runningstills]

September 8th.

Enebærodde, HCBM.

[mard3y]

Having to deal with a high conflict person is extremely exhausting.

[bmdrama]

My bf 30 and I 25 have been together for almost 3 years now. The main issue we've had is his bm. Now I love his son 5 years old, but she's something else.

The first time I met her was when we first started dating and she called me a fucking whore. So we haven't had the best relationship.

For a while I was doing what she wanted I stayed away whenever my bf had his son over and eventually she was fine with me being there. Everything was going good for awhile until covid got really bad. That'd when she stopped letting him come over at all.

She started claiming that he was terrified of me and he didn't want to come over. She claimed a lot of things at this point such as; I was walking around the house in just my bra and underwear around him (I don't do this even if no one's home let alone when he is over.), I told him she wasn't his mom, we apperantly took him over to someone in my family's house (both my parents are dead and I dont really talk to anyone else.).

We worked through it and he started coming over again. Which lead to half of his medication went missing. We never figured out what happened to it but for once she didn't blame it on me she blamed our roomates (which honestly I can see because one of them didn't clean like ever but this particular weekend cleaned like half the house then got really sick after).

It continued for a while of the off an on mess for a while. Then December of 2021 we broke up for a little while and he was dealing with a bunch of mental stuff and got into therapy. Between then and mothers day she was refusing to let his son come over constantly making up excuses. She let us take him out for dinner on Friday before mother's day since she wouldn't let my bf even have a single night.

That brings us to last weekend her latest excusing being he is severely allergic to cats (he never showed any reaction when we've had him around cats but whatever.) And that he was sick with a fever. If he was actually sick that'd be one thing but he showed no signs that he was off at all and he was out with her family before we came to pick him up. If he's sick should he really be around a bunch of people some who have bad health conditions and could die if they got sick.

Anyway we went to pick him up and didn't give her any other option and we had a really great weekend.

I'm using this blog to keep track of events from now on. I just need somewhere I can vent. I'm tired of the excuses it's always something. Mind you at one point I was allowed to pick him up from them by myself and then all of a sudden she wasn't ok with it anymore. I will keep updating as more bullshit happens.

[dragmetoqt]

Being a Step-Mom in your early/mid 20s:

It’s exhausting. It’s draining. ITS NOT EASY. You won’t “enjoy” your 20s. It is very difficult. Unless you are with someone whose ex is normal/cordial, it’s not for the weak. Your life is changed forever. It’s a scary life to have because most of the time it’s revolved around the high conflict coparent, even if you decide to have kids on your own. I wanna blog about my experience about dealing with a hcbm, as well as give/take advice about being a step mom, and being a stepmom in your 20s. I wanna show others that you’re not alone and that we are in this together.

Having a high conflict baby momma (hcbm) is so hard. It’s depressing tbh. And not only do I wanna share my story with anyone who relates, but I would love advice or even start a conversation. I do not have children of my own so I don’t know what having those emotions entails, but I’ve dealt with my parents split and remarry, and I’ve dated a single father with a hcbm in the past (not to THIS extreme that I’m dealing with now).

I love these kids. Idc if they are biologically mine or not, the bond and love I’ve created with these kids is so bitter sweet. Kinda like siblings but more than that. Being a step mom and navigating what my place is can be sooooo confusing. I have to calculate what I can and cannot do/say and I know a lot can relate to that. The main things I know I CAN do to parent them is:

Stop any arguments/sibling fights

Cool and prepare food

Call out any rudeness or back talk and be able to talk to them about it

Asking permission for things and they listen when I say yes or no

Those are some basics, but I’ve seen bio moms thinking that those pints are already over stepping…I guess

I’ll share more my stories of being a step mom and if you have any advice or questions I would greatly appreciate it!!!

[confessionsofastepmom]

My biggest grief with step parenting

I don't have many hang-ups with step-parenting, but if there's anything I would change, it's the attitude of my step-kid's (SK) biological mother (BM). She wastes soo much time, effort, and energy trying to tear me and SO down. We both try very hard to get along with her, but she is extremely high conflict (HC). It's the only thing SO and I fight over. In my opinion, he tries too hard to get along with her, which isn't necessarily a bad thing on the surface level. I understand it would be extremely beneficial for SK's bio parents to get along, but I refuse to be with some other woman's doormat.

Have you ever met someone who just REFUSES to play nice? That's her. Unless she wants something, and that's usually money. HCBM is extremely entitled, which is something I like to call Golden Uterus Complex, or GUC for short. SO's only (for now) child came from her uterus, and she thinks that she is entitled to all of SO's attention and money because of it. She has a long-term, live-in boyfriend as well, so this behavior is extremely weird to me. It infuriates me to no end, which is something I'm working on and hoping that this blog can help me work through.

I'm not making this post to trash talk her, but really just to set the scene for why I've decided to create this blog. I need somewhere to vent. Sometimes I need support on how to deal with these situations. Sometimes I just need to complain. SO and I have been together a little over 2 years now, and we are getting married this summer (SO excited!). I love being a part of SK's life. I love doing the fun things and being there for the important things. I try to let SO handle the tough things, but I'm always there for those things too if he needs backup. I try to look at stepparenting the same way I look at being an aunt. Just like my niblings, I love my SK, I want to fun things with him and support him, but it's not my job to parent him (unless there's immediate danger, of course).

In short, I wish BM and I could get along. I wish she was more receptive of me and realized that I only want to enhance her child's life. I'm not here to "take her place" or be his mom. He has a mom. My only goal in this to be a loving, trusting adult that he can come to if he needs something. I'm marrying SO, but I also know that SK is part of that deal and I'm 100% here for it.

[steppingabove]

I am new at this blog writing but need an outlet to vent anonymously and find others who may be in a similar situation. I live on the east cost of Canada and there seem to be few options for groups or resources within our communities with everyone having only a small degree of separation between who they know or who they are related to.

As a stepmom (SM) with a high conflict bio mom (HCBM) I find myself somewhat isolated from other blended families because most wont freely admit they go through the same crazy bullshit we go through on a weekly basis. (I will fill in the back story later). It’s a bit of a taboo and seems to be likened to an abusive situation where people know what’s going on but they shy away from asking for fear that you will unleash the story and they will have to be more involved than they wish to, or even worse, suddenly they will become the victim. I don’t blame them because YES, if HCBM has any mutual connection, she will target them too! This segment of the story will be told eventually as I get you up to speed on the events of the past year of my life.

Why did it take me a year to start this? The same reason as above. I was afraid to face that demon, fear of how my partner would react and the thought of being ridiculed for letting someone affect my normally strong demeanour. I am not a vindictive person and truly believe karma will reward both positive and negative behaviours so I try to stay on that blessed side. I had even defended this HCBM’s character in the beginning because I figured the stories were so outlandish, they had to be an exaggeration. Incredibly, they were all truthful.

During Covid, I have found myself jobless with lots of extra time to delve into this deeper. I have now read countless articles and blogs on dealing with narcissistic mothers, how it affects their children and have finally gotten sick of seeing a young girl and her dad being victimized by this vile human being. This HCBM has already aliented their adult son and we continue to fight legally to have my stepdaughter (SD) with us full time. But even this is a struggle because the Family Court system is so backlogged and broken that the child ends up suffering from the emotional and mental scarring long before the offending adult. And again, she wins, just by having the victory over the child’s mental state.

It’s time to fight back!

[regenesy]

[bmdrama]

Newest update

My boyfriend took his son home to his mom last night because her family had planned a birthday party for their son and her daughter. My boyfriend was assured that it would just be for a couple hours and he'd have him back last night. Then when time came she never showed up 2 hours later when my bf was able to get ahold of her. All she said was the party was also a sleepover so he wasn't going to be getting his son back. So bf filed a report with the police last night and she told the cops that in the court order it said she could use her own discretion about giving up their son for his parenting time. So when he got home so he could get his court orders and looked through it again while waiting for the cops to call back. And there is nothing in there about her having any say on whether he can have his son for his time or not. So on monday bf is driving down a half hour to where the court house they have to go to is and filing for contempt. Any and all advice would be helpful. She just threw a fit for mothers day because ot was on our weekend but she won't let him have his son for Father's day.

[spectrumpsp]

Licensing and Compliance Developments for Pharmacy Benefit Managers

In response to calls for more transparency in the prescription drug industry, 2021 continued a national trend of increased state licensing and regulation of Pharmacy Benefit Managers (“PBMs”). Over the past year, laws requiring PBMs to obtain PBM, Third Party Administrator ("TPA") or Healthcare Benefits Administrator ("HCBM") licenses/registrations from State regulations have been adopted or entered into force in at least eighteen states. In addition to new licensing requirements, many states have also adopted requirements that regulate other aspects of PBM operations.

New PBM License and Registration Requirements

The eighteen states that adopted a PBM license/registration requirement (or came into force) in 2021 include:

Alabama ��� SB 227 (effective 07/01/2021)

Alabama - Rule and Regulation 482-1-164-.01 (effective 01/01/2022)

Delaware – HB 219 (effective 10/26/2021)

Georgia - Rule and Regulation 120-2-97-.01 (effective 01/01/2021)

Hawaii – SB 1096 (effective 06/28/2021)

Indiana - HB 1405 (effective 04/29/2021)

Kentucky - Rules and Regulations 806 KAR 9:360 (Amendment effective 06/07/2021)

Maine - Rules and Regulations Chapter 210 (effective 2021-02-14)

Maryland – HB 601 (effective 01/01/2022)

Maryland – Bulletin 21-07 (effective 04/03/2021)

Minnesota: Insurance Code 62W.11 (amendment effective 07/01/2021)

Mississippi – Rules and Regulations R30-3001-4501 (Amendment effective 12/30/2021)

Missouri - Rule and Regulation 20 CSR 200-22.010 (effective 10/30/2021)

Montana – SB 395 (effective 01/01/2022)

Montana - Rules and Regulations October 12, 2021 (effective 12/10/2021)

New Hampshire – Bulletin 21-001-AB (effective 04/01/2021)

New Hampshire – Bulletin 21-104-AB (effective 12/17/2021)

New Mexico - Rules and Regulations 13.10.30.9 (effective 03/01/2021)

North Carolina – SB 257 (effective 2021-01-10)

Oklahoma – HB 2677 (effective 05/04/2021)

South Carolina – Bulletin 2021-08 (effective 12/01/2021)

Washington – Insurance Code 48.200.010 (effective 01/01/2022)

Washington – Rules and Regulations 284-180-110 (effective 01/01/2022)

All of the above states prohibit an entity from acting as a PBM without first obtaining a license or registering with the appropriate public authority (e.g., state insurance department, board state pharmacy, etc.). Specific license or registration application requirements vary by state. However, applications often require the submission of the following documents and information:

Organizational information about the applying entity, including documents such as articles of incorporation and applicant's articles of association

A certificate of good conduct (or its equivalent) from the state of the applicant's domicile and the state in which the applicant is applying for a license

The professional qualifications of the candidate's principals

General information about the requesting entity and some of its directors regarding criminal records, regulatory actions, financial matters and civil litigation

Financial statements showing that the applicant is financially good

A deposit and/or proof of certain insurance coverage

A detailed business plan

Form contracts with payers and/or pharmacies

New operational requirements

In addition to the new licensing and registration requirements mentioned above, many states have also recently adopted requirements that regulate certain aspects of PBM operations. Common operational issues addressed by these new requirements include:

Prohibited clauses and mandatory provisions in agreements between PBM and its payers and/or contracted pharmacies

Minimum Standards and Restrictions on the Use of Maximum Allowable Cost ("MAC") Pricing

A pharmacy's right to appeal a claim determination and a PBM's right to change a prior claim determination

Pharmacy Network Suitability Standards and Network Participation Eligibility

Pharmacy Audit Rights and Protections

Due to the recent significant increase in the number of states that now license and regulate PBMs, it is important that PBMs confirm that they meet licensing/registration requirements and operational needs of the States in which they are active.

[overdriveorchestra]

Join Chris and Shaun as they breakdown how we got the guitar tones on ‘HCBM’.

[blessedbonusmum19]

One week and counting

Lord baby Jesus

    I’ve got a week as of today before classes start. I’ve got my very first book bag since 2007 packed and ready to go. The chiltren and I have been spending the day getting things organized in the house so we will be ready for next week. 

Class locations and info are starting to be released in my app....LORD I’m nervous!

Like.....super super nervous

I’m so scared to fail....why you ask? STORY TIIIIIME

So this will be my third attempt at this....only this time I’m going right for the top. The first time, I tried to do a one year program...didn’t go well. Actually, it was quite a disaster LOL. Second time, I made it almost over half way through....struggled super hard in a class, bombed the final and it had me fail by a whole ass 3%! Now, mind you, right around the same time I found out that while I was at a weekend concert with my best friend...he had his high school girlfriend over to the house and banged her on our couch. So there is that. 

Granted, I have a crazy huge support system this time around. So I think i’ll be ok. But it’s always that fear you know? The fear of failing and letting everyone that loves you down. No pressure right? Especially when I am helping raise 4 whole ass children, 2 cats, 3 dogs, and 3 horses....and the evil devil lizard that was brought home unannounced. 

I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to find a healthy balance between school and home life. Being a stay at home bonus mom, with farm responsibility, is hard. Everything falls on me. I have plenty of help if I so choose to use it, but due to some past experiences I try to not ask for help. I’m always so scared I’m going to seem like I don’t want the kids around....like the HCBM did. So I try my best to handle everything on my own as much as possible. The demands of that in itself are high. Then let’s throw in nursing school on top of it....I think I may have lost my mind. 

On top of all that, we also are trying to figure out the medical reason behind all the insane behavior issues we have out of SS13. It isn’t all the time...pretty much the only time we don’t have issues out of him are when we have SS2. He so loves his little brother and is so sweet and loving to him. His sisters...not so much. And me? HA! This kid pretty much hates me. He gets in more trouble for giving me trouble than anything else. It’s rough up in here most of the time. Thankfully his mother and us are getting along super well now, and legit co parenting. We are a unified front, which makes things easy for us, but he hates it. Nothing unusual....most kids in a split household don’t tend to like it when all the parentals are on the same side. Honestly...if any of y’all happen to have any experience with unruly step kids, and how to make the relationship between you and them better...I am all ears!!! 

Well, that’s my ramble for the night. Now to sit and wait for dinner to get done...the dinner that nobody really likes but will eat. The dinner that was something to just pop in the oven because I have a stress headache and have had it since 6am.

Night y’all