#hc request event

[highsviolets]

are there any particular metaphors/symbols you've used in a fic that you hope people have noticed? going back thru ur javi stuff & i'm so curious to know !!

aaaah thank you so much for this ask! tbh I had to go through my Javi stuff too; this one made me think.

There are four things I would say are my go-to literary devices at the moment: water, the color green, fabrics, and philosophy.

Obviously water is in Waterfall Inquiry, but I use it a lot in other pieces too. In El Mismo Aire I talk about the condensation of the beer bottle; in two instalments of FaceTime Javi it’s raining (in just like you & unkempt adoration). I think it can do so many things: it acts as movement, as a metaphor, as a mood-setter, and it can be a symbol for a lot of different things depending on the context.

I also use green a LOT. Probably too much, lol. In Javi stories and my Obi-Wan duology ne plus ultra I talk about the color green as a symbol of hope, especially referencing the poem Sir Gawain & the Green Knight. (Which is SO funny to me, we only spent one class period on it in freshman year of college and it was probably the worst lit paper I wrote that semester).

And fabrics!! I love their tangibility 🥰 and obvi FT Javi Reader is a stylist so it only makes sense (read: an excuse for me to look up fabrics and pretty clothes)

90% of my pieces somehow reference a philosopher or a school of philosophy either implicitly or explicitly. I’m really into phenomenology so that influences a lot of my work!! (I could talk about this particular one a lot so I’m gonna keep it short and sweet haha). My breathless series actually has a whole list of references because I’m extra like that, lmao.

[highsviolets]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could tell me something about waterfall inquiry (the absolute gem 😌✨) - either the writing process or what first drove you to writing the story, or both? Or even saying how you first began writing and if your style was that poetic and beautiful right from the start (does the magic just happen? 🤔🧐)

Estela my love! Thank you so much for this ask. You have perfect timing -- I was just sketching out ideas for chapter four in my head during a walk. 

Waterfall Inquiry started (as most of my javi things do) with shameless enablement by @frannyzooey. we had been talking about office javi in season three and were running by different, ahem, scenarios and she said “i need established relationship office sex with javi” and i responded “i’ll write it for you.” there were two scenarios in particular that we had been talking about, so i thought, hey, a quick, lighthearted three part thing (one chapter to establish the relationship and two each for the smut). 

clearly, that is NOT what happened (although we do get some office action in chapter two, of course). 

the idea for her as an analyst came really naturally to me. I’ve studied & am quite familiar with the intelligence process across various agencies, so it’s not unusual territory for me and gives me access to the way she thinks about things. and, it puts her in close proximity with javi. the word she needs help with in chapter one -- duende -- was supposed to be the title of a javi wip that i’ve put aside and i was aching for a chance to reuse it. 

on the age gap, i absolutely LOVED idea of their dynamic shifting and sliding and the way that because of their respective ages they would be at once confident and unsure around each other. especially her, meeting him for the first time, not knowing firsthand what we as readers know from seasons one and two. 

about the writing process, i don’t outline. i usually have a vague idea of how i want things go or what i want to be covered, but the minute i involve too much of my own thought in the process, i hit a roadblock. i write what comes to me and if i have a preconceived notion of what that needs to be (trying to stuff it into a box) then i’ll never write. of course, when i sit down, it’s like, okay, i’m going to write this idea. but it’s almost never “he will do this and say this and she will do that and what words do i use.” it’s more of taking big building blocks of feeling and action and then building them back up with smaller ones.

on the last thing, yes and no. that is how i write naturally, but it takes a lot of time. i’m constantly writing one thing, deleting the sentence, and then rewording it to better fit what i want it to be. idk @frannyzooey or @clan-djarin you can probably speak to this better since you’ve seen bits and pieces of chapters as i go along?

thank you again for asking about waterfall -- this fic is my baby, i’m so proud of it and these sorts of questions about my creative process are actually quite helpful for me!

[highsviolets]

Do you think you'd ever write anything for Marcus Pike? I'm such a softie for that man I swear. I think out of all the characters, he is the one I would love the most as a romantic partner. He is calm, stable and every time I see him, I can feel the compassion radiating from him. Also, I did not know that you write poetry! Maybe give us a few lines from something you wrote recently? (3/4)

Leonie!! Thank you for these asks. 

First things first, I really do have a massive soft spot for Marcus Pike. I just...he’s so stable. That’s hot, lmao. Also I appreciate a man who can show his feelings and clearly appreciates physical affection as much as I do. I also think it’s so easy to forget how badass he is because he’s so nice. (Granted, I haven’t seen any of his episodes; we are in the full extra glitter clown costume rn). 

ALL THAT BEING SAID, I do have an idea for Marcus Pike. It’s a twist on Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift (hear me out!! I promise it’s not basic). 

Basically, we have Marcus, all heartbroken & rejected from his failed engagement, yeah? Enter Reader, another new transfer from a regional field office, just having broken off their own engagement (they did the leaving, rather than Marcus, who got left). So you have these two people who are kinda doubting themselves -- were they selfish? did they do the right thing? were they even in love? is something...wrong? is love even meant for them? And of course they fall in love, because why would I make this end any other way. 

For the second part, sure! 

(Truth be told, darling, I did not want to;

the fear of you

staying

was tame

compared to the desperation of

running away)

[highsviolets]

Because I am in love with your poetry, which one is the one you're the proudest of? What usually inspires your poems?

cici!! @astroboots thank you so much for this ask 🥺🥺

the poem I’m most proud of is here 🥰

but in terms of what inspires them, it really comes from these intense surges of emotion. writing poetry is the most natural way for me to express myself, especially in those really “big emotions” — anger, grief, love, etc. writing them is what happens when i am feeling so much and it needs a place to go.

regarding structure and imagery and the like, it comes from everywhere. it’s difficult to overstate how much an influence ee cummings has been on my own work. but i also draw upon other poets too — auden & hopkins & wilbur & ginsberg & kaur & eliot & a whole host of others. and some of it just comes in the moment. in the poem i linked, for example, the idea of a fault line wasn’t really inspired by one person or thing — it’s what made sense for me at that moment to describe what i was feeling.

[highsviolets]

Also, do you think you would ever explore Javi's internal journey as a wide-eyed teenager in Texas to Colombia and then back again? It is blatantly obvious that he yearned to leave Laredo and make something out of his life but that did not quite work out the way he probably wanted. What he saw, what he did and the person he becomes after Colombia is really interesting for me to think about. (2/4)

Aaaaah hello my dear!! The short answer is yes to both questions! 

I actually have a little something I’ve been collecting thoughts for like a magpie about Javi in Texas post-DEA. I’m fascinated with how he would feel like he both fits in with and is alienated by this community. This is where he grew up; this is his culture and people he’s known since childhood are here. But also not: people have moved on without him. And because he’s seen and done so much that people can’t understand, he doesn’t really belong anymore. Not the way he would have if he had stayed.

Regarding Javi wanting to leave Laredo as a kid, I wrote this drabble forever ago for @frannyzooey:

Onions glisten under the reflective glare of the kitchen light. Javier looks at you when you toss another piece on his plate, examining the action beneath thick brows and over an easy jawline.

“Una otra, querida? Too much spice for you?” he teases. “I had no idea you were such a gringa, can’t even take a little extra onion with your sofrito.”

Your laughter punctures the night, sprinting through his lilt and linoleum tile to scream out to the Texas sunset. It’s bleeding, cherry and fire-engine wrapped around screen of ethereal orange: a scrape as opposed to the soft holes in your heart.

That’s where Javier is now, pointing his fork at the mound of rice and chicken on your plastic plate, pleading with you because c’mon baby, I didn’t put that many onions in it, I tried to make it the way you like it. The holes expand when you take a bite and smile, mashing your teeth around the mixture that is so different than the food you knew, and pressing a kiss to his tomato-stained lips when you swallow. You are bleeding out for this boy, and you don’t even know it yet.

Because Javier is restless. He goes on long drives at night by himself and comes to first period smelling of country air and something you can’t quite place. Javier sometimes calls himself Javi, but changes his mind after two weeks. Javier reads books about other cities, other countries. This, he has done since he was a child.

Javier is listless, listless and yearning. He shuffles his feet and gets in fights to stand up for the quarterback’s ex-girlfriend, the dropout, the know-it-all: fights that aren’t his but he insists they are, tongue flicking over bloodied knuckles. He’s always moving his hands, and looking at the sun like he knows what it’s seen. and when you are the couch with him, undoing the buttons on his shirt, there are more scars than you remember from last time.

Yes, Javier Peña will leave rips in your heart, and you will turn the Texas sky red with your anguish.

But for now, he is here, feeding you his sofrito, staining his chemistry homework, and asking you to explain the english assignment. and that is okay. you can ignore the ache in your chest when his probing gaze is hotter than the plains in july, and his arms sturdier than anything you’ve ever known.

yeah, it’s okay that javier peña will break your heart. (but you don’t know that yet, and that’s okay too.)

send in hc requests + asks about any of my fics! 

[highsviolets]

hello my lovely ❤️

I feel like I always use the same descriptive wording in my writing or often repeat the same words — any suggestions on how to avoid that? Anything you do (site you visit, method you have) in your writing process that helps with that?

hello my dear ❤️

ooof, i struggle with this too -- sometimes i even catch myself repeating phrases in different contexts! 

like most of us, I think, I definitely use a thesaurus. I find that Merriam-Webster’s is better than thesaurus.com 

my absolute favorite tool to use, though -- one I use even before a thesaurus -- is this handy dandy website. It’s an etymology dictionary and provides you with the word’s definition, part of speech, an overview of its use in English, roots and prefixes, and related entries. I even have the app, lmao. 

why is this so helpful to me? firstly, NEW WORDS! duh. 

But what it really does is it makes me determine what I’m actually trying to say. Does this word fit the circumstance? Or is this one -- with a shared prefix but a slightly different meaning -- more accurately describe what’s happening? I’m all about showing the nuance and truth of things in my writing, which is why I love the idea of using linguistics and etymology to help me be more precise. 

(this fic is based entirely off of the etymology of the word ‘consecrate,’ for example) 

the etymology tool is particularly helpful when I want to use “easy” words like ‘tender’ ‘soft’ ‘delicate.’ i put “easy” in quotes because there is definitely a time and place for those words! but I personally find myself often using them as a crutch when there are much better ways of expressing an emotion or action. 

I also think about how the people I admire use language! What I’ve learned most from twentieth century writers in particular (and my own journalistic experiences) is that not’s so much the words themselves but HOW we piece them together. (I do owe my use of the word ‘slattern’ in chapter three of waterfall to cummings, though, from this poem.)

send in hc requests + asks about any of my fics!