#hazbinpilot

[theusualemptypie]

I’m sorry, but LOOK AT THIS CUTIE

[aprilsliveblog]

April: Katie Killjoy is my least favorite type of person. Both in and out of fiction.

April: Oh Charlie-

April: Oh Charlie no-

April: Of course he didn’t check in for redemption. Of course.

Steve: RESPECT NICE PEOPLE, ANGEL

Steve: Angel please. I’m already gay with the exception of April.

April: ...

Steve: ...

April: He has a son?

Steve: I... Have no words.

[theusualemptypie]

See no difference

[theusualemptypie]

Broke into my heart

/Let's bet, can I still draw something today?/

[theusualemptypie]

Vaggie: YOU AND YOUR FRIEND COMMITTED MASS GENOCIDE, PUTTING OUR FUCKING HOTEL IN A TERRIBLE POSITION.

Angel Dust:

[aprilsliveblog]

April: What???

“This ridiculous thing you’re trying to do!”

April: Oof. So he doesn’t actually believe in Charlie’s cause. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I thought he may at least pretend to care about it.

April: Boredom-

April: Because of boredom...

Steve: I still like my theory that he’s trying to use Charlie to get close to Lucifer.

Steve: He is very very pretty and I am VERY GAY AT THE MOMENT.

“That’s wacky nonsense!”

April: I love his word choice. Not even just here. Everything that comes out of his mouth is gold.

Steve: Props to Edward Bosco for nailing this voice so flawlessly.

Steve: I didn’t think it was possible for me to get any more gay.

April: Meh.

[aprilsliveblog]

Steve: He’s killing it. I love his singing.

April: LET THE MAN FINISH!

Steve: Damn. Go right for the throat why don’t you?

April: HOLY- WHAT THE-

April: 😰

Steve: ...

Steve: I’m so gay.

April: ...That was your first thought?

Welp, that’s our stopping point!

[aprilsliveblog]

“Or the side that ain’t dead.”

April: She has a point.

Steve: Yes, it is ABSOLUTELY my business. Do you have any idea how long the question of your hat’s sentience has been plaguing me?

April: That sign in the background tho-

Steve: I’ve noticed that usually... Either sex jokes fly right over your head, or you notice sex jokes when the person talking didn’t even mean to make a sex joke. How are you doing so far?

April: Well, I get every sex joke that Angel makes.

Steve: Ah. That’s more than you usually pick up.

[aprilsliveblog]

April: ...Not the time, Angel.

April: GO. COMFORT HER.

April: Talk to your daughter, woman!

Steve: If both of Charlie’s parents are against her, I’m adopting her.

“I think Dad was right about me.”

April: ALRIGHT LUCIFER IT’S TIME TO SQUARE THE FUCK UP-

Steve: I’m already homoflexible. You don’t have to make me any more gay.

[aprilsliveblog]

Steve: Alastor’s haircut is a little weird in the back, ngl.

April: I already want to know ALL the history between these two.

“You think I’m some kinda clown?!”

“Maybe.”

Steve: That’s the sickest one-word burn I’ve ever heard.

“We are keeping this!”

April: You mean the booze or Husk?

April: Coming on a little strong there, Charlie.

“This is going to be very entertaining!”

Steve: It sure will be.

[aprilsliveblog]

April: No character will ever be as extra as Sir Pentious.

April: Shout out to that one egg boi there trying to cop a feel. You pervert.

Steve: Does Pentious even have anything to feel? I mean... Look at him...

April: Well, it’s time for the gay side of my bisexuality to come out to say hi.

April: Is your hat alive?

Steve: I’ve been wondering that since I first saw this clip.

April: ...Oh.

Oh that’s a good screenshot.

[aprilsliveblog]

April: I’m calling it now. One day Vaggie is gonna punch Alastor.

“I can suck ya dick.”

Steve: Wow guys, I didn’t think Angel would die in the pilot.

And that’s when Alastor knew... He fucked up.

April: Bean.

April: Why is it weird that-

April: Wait-

April: Angel’s not a woman.

April: But anyway, why would it be weird if they were all women?

April: Jumping bean.

[aprilsliveblog]

April: I remember in previous clips they mentioned an “extermination?” And those signs said “cleanse.” So is Charlie, like... Announcing that it’s over?

April: THAT’S THE BASTARD FROM THE PREQUEL COMIC THAT I NEED TO DECK

Steve: He looks like a douchebag.

April: HE IS A DOUCHEBAG. ANYONE THAT TREATS ANGEL LIKE THAT IS A FLAMING DOUCHE MONKEY.

April: I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO! I HOPE YOU STEP ON FIFTY LEGOS!

April: *gasp* Pretty ladies! 

April: Hey, I’ve seen you before!

Steve: Did Franklin die in the cleanse? Because I feel like this lady may have been planning for them to die.

[aprilsliveblog]

Steve: C’mon Tom, have some class.

April: Eh, it’s hell.

Steve: You can be in hell and still respect women.

April: ...You right, you right.

April: She’s precious.

April: She’s also really pretty. They’re both really pretty.

Steve: Your bisexuality is having a field day, huh?

April: Hell yeah.

Steve: ...Did you just make a pun?

April: 😉

April: PRECIOUS. They remind me of us, except if we were lesbians.

Steve: Yeah, I can see that.

Steve: Charlie reminds me so much of you that it isn’t even funny. ALSO look at those little goat demons.

April: They’re so cute!

[aprilsliveblog]

April: He’s seriously competing with Sir Pentious for “Most Extra Character.”

April: Speaking of wacky nonsense, what’s that expression?

April: I thought it was just you. So Vaggie apparently doesn’t trust men. That reminds me, didn’t someone mention that she was a prostitute when she was alive?

Steve: I think so.

April: What do you mean he’s a deal maker?

Steve: Well, you’re certainly dedicated to your cause. I don’t know if it’s really a wise decision, but I mean... Wait, what would Alastor do if you said no?

April: ...Oh. Oh, you have a point there. What would he do?

April: WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY ABOUT NO TRICKSTER VOODOO MAGIC?!

[aprilsliveblog]

April: Holy shit-

April: The pilot is officially better than I ever could’ve hoped.

April: 😟

Steve: You think the little goat demons are driving?

April: *GASP* SHOW ME MY BOYS-

Steve: I’m still on the theory that you’d be reincarnated if you died in hell.

April: Wholesome