#having no idea if this is really only 'see you latter' or 'goodbye but i didn't want to let you go so suddenly'

[hl-obsessed]

'feels like this could be forever right now' but not in the good meaning. thanking everyone no matter if they were with him for 13, 5, or 1 year feels awfuly like bigger goodbye than 'for a little while'.

i wasn't here in 2015 but I'm now and it feels... some kind of terrible. no idea what the rest of you feels going through this again.

everyone just hope that there isn't "🤝🏻" between Harry going 'away for a little while' and One Direction taking 'let's give it 18 months' breake

[callsign-mayhem]

heartbreak feels so good (part 1)

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader Word count: 8081 CW: Shitty boyfriends, angst, fluff, slow burn.

Your boyfriend's callsign is Viper, which is fitting. Bradley doesn't know how much longer he can watch this man destroy you, but luckily for him, he doesn't have to wait too long.

Use of Y/N, but no description of reader. THIS IS A MULTI-PART FIC.

Part Two Part Three

After another day of having your feelings totally ignored by your boyfriend, you were looking forward to some alone time. Elijah was so hot and cold that you felt as though you were in a constant state of fight or flight, just waiting for him to either make your day or ruin it completely. Most of the time, it was the latter, and although good days with him were few and far between, they were enough to make you stay. See, you didn’t half-ass anything—least of all relationships—so when you were in something, you were in it. You told Elijah that much after your first date. You’d been sitting in the front of his beemer eating ice cream, having the first of many deep talks. Between sweet, sticky kisses, you’d told him that you were dating to marry. He told you he was, too. 

He said, ‘I’m yours if you’ll have me, Y/N.’ And that was that.

And it was almost a year ago. You’d survived a somewhat tumultuous winter with him, desperately trying to cling on to the version of him he’d been during the summer. As time went on, he stopped putting his mask on, secure enough in your relationship that he no longer felt the need to pretend to be caring and considerate. The days were starting to get longer, and the weather was warming up again, but Elijah was so far from the man he was at the start that you might as well have been in a relationship with a different person. Every morning, you woke up with no idea what personality to expect that day, whether or not he was going to take all his personal drama out on you, even though you only ever loved and supported him. 

Today had been one of those days, and as you finished up with the F-18 engine currently in pieces in front of you, you silently prayed that he wouldn’t text you asking to come over. He was also a naval aviator, but you were working on different parts of the base today. Thank God. Elijah’s callsign was Viper, fitting since vipers prey on small animals by envenomating them and watching them die slowly. 

Coyote appeared behind you, helmet tucked underneath his arm.

‘Hey, we’re all heading to The Hard Deck for beers,’ he told you. ‘You comin’?’ You grabbed a rag and made an attempt to wipe some of the oil off. ‘I don’t know,’ you sighed. ‘I want to, but then I’ll have to bring Elijah, and I don’t really wanna see him tonight.’ ‘Why do you have to bring him?’ Coyote frowned. ‘He’s a lousy drunk and never lets you have any fun.’ ‘If he finds out I went out with all you guys, he’ll think I’m up to something.’ ‘Like gettin’ with me?’ He joked, wiggling his eyebrows. ‘Probably,’ you laughed. ‘You or one of the others. Or maybe he’ll accuse me of getting with all of you if he’s in a particularly bad mood.’ ‘Listen, if you wanna come, you’re welcome. We’ll just make sure nobody posts about it, and we’ll get you a fake moustache or somethin’.’

It broke your heart to think about all your closest friends having a fun night without you. Over the past year, you’d lost count of the amount of experiences you’d missed out on because you didn’t want to make Elijah upset or angry with you. The worst part was it was a double standard. He went out without you all the time, didn’t tell you where he’d gone or who he was with, and expected you to be okay with it. If you weren’t, you could kiss your peace goodbye; he’d spend the next week making your life a living hell, ignoring you entirely until you apologised to him for being hurt by his actions.

‘You know what Javy? Count me in.’ He grinned. ‘Thatta girl.’ 

It was hard to regret coming out when you felt this good. It had been months since you’d gone on a night out without Elijah, which was to say it had been months since you last enjoyed yourself. As you sipped your second sex on the beach, you mused that some kind of higher power must have been looking out for you because you’d yet to receive a single text from your boyfriend. Most of the time, when you spent the night apart, he’d call you incessantly. It was annoying, sometimes bordering on obsessive, and you didn’t need him to tell you he was checking on you, or rather, checking that you were alone in your apartment. That much was obvious. 

Dating an insecure man was not for the weak.

You were sat at one of the high tables next to the window watching Jake, Mickey, Javy, and Reuben play pool. Nat was opposite nursing a beer, glowing in the golden light of the evening. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, smiling at the notification. 

‘Rooster’s on his way,’ she told you. ‘He wasn’t gonna come out tonight, but I told him he didn’t have a choice. It’s not every day Y/N Y/L/N leaves the comfort of her apartment.’ You scoffed. ‘That’s not exactly how I’d put it.’ ‘No?’ Nat raised a brow. 

You hadn’t drunk in months, and despite only being on your second drink, the booze had loosened your lips significantly. 

‘No. It’s not that I’d rather stay home, it’s that staying home makes my life easier because then I don’t have Elijah breathing down my fucking neck.’

Little did you know, Javy had told everyone about your conversation earlier. Not because he was a gossip but because he was worried about you. It was rare for you to open up to the squad about your relationship, but it wasn’t hard to guess what happened behind closed doors. They all worked with Viper, for one, and they were familiar with his temperament. Not only that, but you dropped off the face of the Earth a few months after you started dating him, and it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 

‘I don’t know why you’re still with him, Y/N. He’s an ass.’ ‘I know,’ you sighed, frowning into your drink. ‘It’s just not as straightforward as just leaving. I still love him. If I can make this work, I don’t have to start all over again with someone else.’ Nat nodded in understanding. ‘I get wanting to make it work, but at what cost? You don’t see your friends, and he uses you as an emotional punching bag. You can’t even come to the beach with us without him checking on you every five minutes,’ she reached over the table and took your hand. ‘He’s killing you.’

This was the first time someone had spoken their mind to you about the situation. While you already knew all of it, hearing it from one of your best friends hit home. Vodka made you emotional, and if not for Bradley, you would have broken down there and then. 

He walked up to the table and engulfed you in a hug, practically pulling you off your stool. You pressed your face into his shirt, inhaling the scent of clean cotton and sandalwood. Half expecting Elijah to spring out and catch you in the act, you reluctantly pulled away. 

‘Hey, Bradley.’ ‘Hey yourself, stranger. Can’t believe you’re gracing us with your presence.’ ‘I know, it’s been a while.’ ‘A while? Try six months,’ he glanced at your almost empty glass and Nat’s empty bottle of Heineken. ‘Can I buy you lovely ladies a drink?’ ‘Do you even have to ask?’ Nat retorted.  ‘What’re you drinking, darlin’?’ He asked you. You smiled sheepishly. ‘Sex on the beach.’  ‘I can make that happen.’ He smirked.

Luckily, you didn’t have to come up with a response to that remark because he turned around and headed to the bar. You locked eyes with Nat, and both of you burst out laughing.

Just like that, all the negativity you’d been feeling dissipated like rain against hot tarmac. 

Bradley came back with the drinks, and the three of you took the opportunity to catch up while the others finished their pool game. You shouldn’t have been as surprised as you were to find out that you’d missed a lot. Bradley had started dating one of the medics, but the relationship had crashed and burned almost immediately. He hadn’t bothered trying to meet anyone else since. Nat, after watching all her friends have such bad experiences in the dating world, had decided she was better off alone. 

‘Honestly, I don’t blame you.’ You told her. ‘You should dump Viper,’ she said with a devilish grin. ‘And we can have a hot girl summer.’ Bradley laughed. ‘Can’t say I ever imagined you saying that, Nix.’  ‘Isn’t that what it’s called now? We can’t be that out of touch, surely.’ ‘I don’t wanna think about how old I am.’ You said, picking up your phone to see if you’d missed any texts from Elijah. You hated to think what kind of argument missing one of his calls would start.  Nat and Rooster shared a knowing look. ‘It rings, you know? Out loud.’

Being this transparent was embarrassing. 

‘I think I’m going to confiscate this for now.’ Ignoring your protests, Bradley swiped your phone and tucked it into his pocket. ‘If he calls or texts, I’ll let you know.’

You were tipsy enough not to try and take your phone back but not tipsy enough to be unbothered by the idea of Elijah calling and you not picking up.

‘If he calls, I need it back straight away,’ you told him sternly. ‘If I don’t pick up, I’ll never hear the end of it.’

Bradley rolled his eyes, but you knew it wasn’t aimed at you. He hated Elijah the most of all your friends. Perhaps sensing some tension, Nat slid off her stool and grabbed your arm, practically yanking you off yours.

‘Let’s go pick a song,’ she suggested. ‘We can get more drinks on the way back.’

Since it had been so long since you last visited The Hard Deck, she let you choose. You picked Rebel Yell by Billy Idol, your mum’s favourite. Admittedly, you’d been missing your home town a lot more than usual lately, perhaps because you were in such a weird place mentally. Things must be worse than you thought if you were considering running home with your tail between your legs. 

As the night went on, you got drunker and drunker. Bradley watched with a bemused grin as you dragged Bob off to the jukebox again, since he was the easiest person to coerce into doing things. How Bradley wished it was him you were clinging to. Not that he was jealous of Bob—because that would be like being jealous of a puppy—he just desperately wanted to be the object of your affection. 

While you and Bob went to change the music, Bradley struck up a conversation with Natasha and Reuben, who erupted into laughter when you pulled Bob’s arm so hard he almost toppled over. 

‘It’s nice to have Y/N out, huh?’ He observed. Nat looked at him like he was the biggest dickhead in the world. ‘Come on, Bradshaw. He might be an ass, but she’s got a boyfriend.’

Bradley sipped his beer, desperately trying to come up with a believable response. Reuben smirked knowingly, which only made Bradley more annoyed.

‘I don’t have a thing for Y/N.’ ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.’ ‘Come on, Payback. You too?’ Reuben shrugged. ‘Doesn’t take a genius to work it out. You look at her like she’s God’s gift.’

The reason Bradley looked at you like you were God’s gift is because you were, but nobody was supposed to know that. 

‘Why do women stay with guys that treat them like shit?’ Bradley asked. ‘Depends on the woman,’ Natasha started. ‘But if you mean Y/N, it’s because she can’t do anything halfway. She told me earlier that it’s because she doesn’t want to start over with someone new, but I don’t think that’s it. She just loves so hard, and it takes a lot out of her. Why would she wanna start the process all over again if she already has someone?’ Bradley was incredulous. ‘Erm, I don’t know, maybe because he’s emotionally abusing her.’

You and Nat were close. In a way, she knew you better than you knew yourself, so she was the best person for Bradley to ask about things. Now, however, he was kind of regretting opening his mouth. Knowing why you were staying with a guy who treated you so badly didn’t make it easier to accept like Bradley thought it would; it only filled him with white-hot rage. 

‘It’s not as easy as just leaving. She has to come to it on her own.’ ‘Yeah,’ Reuben chimed in. ‘You can’t convince Y/N of shit.’ Natasha scoffed. ‘Yup, and believe me, I’ve tried.’  ‘So what, we just sit around and watch him ruin her?’ ‘Y/N’s a smart cookie and one of the strongest people I know. She’ll come to her senses, and when she does, we’ll be here.’ ‘You know, I read somewhere once that you can’t save anyone. You can only hold their hand while they save themselves.’ Nat raised a brow. ‘Damn, Payback. That might be the wisest thing you’ve ever said.’ ‘Hey, why do you sound so surprised?’ ‘You really want me to answer that?’

Bradley had a lot to think about. Realistically, he knew there was nothing he could do. His only option was to let things unfold naturally and have faith that things would work out exactly the way they were supposed to. The only problem was, that sounded too much like ‘sit back and do nothing,’ which didn’t feel right either. 

Bradley needed another drink. 

In fact, he was just about to head to the bar when you came bounding over, dragging poor Bob behind you. 

‘Roooooooooster.’ You cooed.

His heart just about melted when you started batting your eyelashes at him. 

‘What’s up, Y/CS?’

Everyone else was watching the interaction expectantly, waiting to hear what you were going to say next. 

‘You’re really pretty.’ Bradley laughed, hoping you were too drunk to notice the blush he could feel creeping across his cheeks. ‘Thank you. You’re really pretty, too.’ Nat, sensing the need to intervene, came around and gently grabbed your arm. ‘Hey, let’s get you a glass of water, huh?’ ‘But I need to tell Roo how pretty he looks.’

Bradley’s heart fluttered at your use of the pet name. He really didn’t want you to leave, but Nat was right. You needed some water and probably your bed. 

‘You told him already, Y/N. And when you get back, you can tell him again.’

She started leading you away, and Bradley immediately missed your presence. 

A very flushed-looking Bob took Nat’s empty stool. ‘That girl is somethin’ else.’ He murmured, pushing his glasses back up his nose. ‘I don’t think you should let her drink anymore.’ ‘I’m not her keeper,’ Bradley responded. ‘Can’t stop her from doing anything.’ Bob shrugged. ‘Maybe so, but you’re all she talked about. You and the fact that there’s no Fall Out Boy in the jukebox. Pretty sure she called it a ‘fucking tragedy.’’  Bradley leaned forward. ‘What did she say about me?’ ‘You know,’ Bob waved a hand dismissively. ‘You’re pretty. Her boyfriend is gonna kill her if he finds out she’s here with you because he thinks you have a thing for her.’ Bradley was at a loss for words. Reuben, however, was grinning like a fool. ‘What was that about not having a thing for her? Even her boyfriend’s caught on, man.’  ‘How many times do I have to say I do not have a thing for-’

An annoyingly loud ringing sound interrupted Bradley’s sentence. It didn’t sound like his ringtone, but the noise was coming from his pocket. It took him too long to remember that he had your phone in his pocket, and that it was probably Viper calling. Sure enough, when he took out your phone, he was greeted by a sickeningly sweet photo of you and your boyfriend on the beach. You and Nat were still at the bar, and he knew he should just let it ring so you could call him back later. 

But something had a hold of Bradley, and he answered the call and pressed the phone to his ear before he could really process what he was doing. 

‘Y/N’s phone.’ 

A beat of silence, then some of the most colourful language Bradley had ever heard in his life. 

‘Who the fuck is this, and why the fuck have you got my girlfriend’s phone?’  ‘Y/N can’t come to the phone right now. She’s at the bar with her friend, gettin’ another round of drinks, and I just know hearing your voice would ruin her night. It’s ruined mine, that’s for sure. If you want, I can take a message, and she’ll get back to you in the morning.’

Reuben was nearly on the floor, trying desperately not to laugh in case Viper heard him. Bob had paled significantly, like he’d seen a ghost—or worse. 

‘That you, Bradshaw? I just knew something was going on-’

Bradley hung up. The severity of the situation was beginning to hit, and despite the sick satisfaction he’d felt when he picked up the phone, he was regretting his decision already. 

‘Y/N is gonna kill you, Rooster.’ Bob told him. 

Nat made the sensible decision to cut you off, but she said you could stay out with them until closing if you promised to keep drinking water and stop fucking around with the jukebox. That was how you ended up in the corner of a booth with Bradley next to you to stop you from escaping.

Not that you’d want to escape. 

Mickey had joined, and the guys were playing cards while you and Nat talked. She was catching you up on her life, and it made a change to think about someone other than Elijah for once.

That’s when it hit you.

You hadn’t checked your phone in hours, and you dreaded to think how many texts and calls you’d missed. 

‘Bradley, can I have my phone?’

He set his hand of cards down on the table and reached into his pocket. When you reached out to take it, he pulled away.

‘Before I give this to you, I need to tell you something.’

A wave of nausea hit you. 

‘What? What’s going on?’ ‘Viper called about an hour ago. You were at the bar, and I didn’t know what to do, so I answered it.’ Reuben leaned forward in his seat. ‘Oh, this is about to be good.’

You thought you knew what panic felt like, but up until this very moment, you had no idea. Bradley was lucky you didn’t throw up in his lap from the nerves.

‘What?’ ‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t thinking-’

You snatched your phone from him, ignoring the kicked-puppy expression he was sporting. A slew of angry text messages that were borderline abusive greeted you. You skimmed them quickly, not wanting to read too many in case you started crying in front of the entire squad. 

What started out as the best night you’d had in a while quickly turned into the worst. Your boyfriend's hateful messages reminded you why you never went out and why this was the biggest mistake you could have made.

The worst part was you saw it coming.

‘Move,’ you said, grabbing your bag. ‘Bradley, let me out now.’ ‘You can’t drive like this, Y/N. Let one of us take you home.’

Bradley sounded destroyed. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 

‘Move.’

He nudged Bob, who stood up so Bradley could climb out of the booth. You were close behind him, and when your feet touched the floor, you nearly keeled over. Bradley reached out to steady you, but you shook him off.

‘Y/N. You can’t leave like this. How are you gonna get home?’

Ignoring his pleas, you made a beeline for the exit. Nat shoved Reuben into Mickey, trying to hurry them out of the booth so she could follow you, but you were surprisingly fast for a drunk person. Bradley was right about one thing: there was no way you could drive in this state. You ducked around the corner so Nat couldn’t see you and sank to the floor. Hot tears prickled behind your eyes as you did the one thing you didn’t want to do, but the only thing you could do.

You called Elijah. 

He didn’t answer the first, second, third, or fourth time. 

Half an hour passed, and you didn’t move. At one point, you heard Bradley, Nat, and Reuben talking around the corner, coming up with a plan for where to look for you. They knew you were on foot because your car was still in the lot, and since you’d disappeared so quickly, you couldn’t have gotten far. If the situation weren’t so tragic, it would’ve been funny that you were hiding ten paces away, and none of them could find you. 

It was getting very late. People were getting in their cars and leaving or jumping into Ubers. Soon, your Jeep would be the only car left. You couldn’t face the daggers, and you couldn’t drive home, so you picked yourself up and took a slow walk down the beach to where the water met the sand. 

What a beautiful night to have your heart broken. 

There was no way Elijah would ever forgive you for this, no way you’d ever be able to convince him that nothing had happened between you and Bradley. The sane part of you knew that it was crazy to feel guilty for simply enjoying a night out with your friends, but the sane part of you rarely won these days. The part of you that loved Elijah was always loudest and knew this could never have gone any other way. 

You were just about to resign yourself to calling a cab when you heard someone yelling your name from the top of the beach. 

You either had the best or worst luck in the world because it was Bradley. 

He made short work of the distance, giving you no time to come up with something to say. He looked otherworldly in the pale moonlight. His hair was slightly mused, and the same insane part of you that loved what it loved was whispering at you to run your fingers through it. 

‘We’ve been looking all over for you, Y/N.’ He sounded very concerned as he pulled out his phone and texted the others to let them know you were safe. ‘I’m sorry, I just needed to be alone.’

You hadn’t even realised you were shivering until Bradley draped his Levi jacket over your shoulders. 

‘You needed to be alone, or you needed to call Viper back?’ The tears threatened to make another appearance. ‘It’s none of your business.’ ‘What makes you think it’s not my business? I care about you and don’t want to keep watching you get hurt.’ ‘Then stop watching!’

Bradley recoiled, and you immediately felt awful. How Elijah spoke to you like that day in and day out without feeling guilty was a mystery to you. 

‘I’m sorry, Bradley,’ you sighed, pulling his jacket tighter around you. ‘I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just very drunk and very emotional right now.’

He softened immediately and seemed torn about whether he should let you stand there freezing or pull you close. You hoped he wouldn’t try to pull you close because you didn’t think you’d have the guts to tell him no. Good feelings had been so incredibly hard to come by as of late.

‘Why are you still with him, Y/N?’ Bradley asked almost pleadingly. 

Wow. He didn’t waste any time getting right to the point. 

‘That’s a loaded question.’ ‘I need you to explain it to me because it’s killing me.’

You thought about it for a moment, and Bradley waited with bated breath to hear what you had to say.

In the end, it was this: ‘I guess we accept the love we think we deserve.’ 

Until you said it out loud, this phrase held little meaning to you. Now that it was out in the open, it was very heavy. In the last few months you’d tried coming up with a decent explanation as to why you were staying with Elijah, and you fell short every time. Turns out all you needed to do was get drunk and have an honest conversation to figure it out. 

Coming to the realisation that what you’d just said was true felt like being in freefall. Everything in your life was changing shape to fit around this ugly truth. The good things in your heart shied away in the face of this monstrous fact. 

You didn’t think you deserved a healthy love. 

Somehow, Bradley was more hurt by this than when you’d snapped at him earlier. He was staring at the ground, unable to meet your eye like you’d just told him he wasn’t worthy of love.

‘You don’t think you deserve to be happy?’

Hearing him say it was somehow even worse.

‘Apparently not.’

You were both quiet for a moment, and then, for whatever reason, you laughed. 

‘This is news to me too.’

The waves crashed loudly, water lapping at your feet as the tide came in. You couldn’t stand out here having epiphanies all night. 

‘Listen, Rooster, I need to go home. I’m sorry for snapping.’ ‘I’ll take you home,’ he said quietly. ‘But we should talk tomorrow when you’re sober. Maybe we could get coffee.’ You shook your head. ‘After tonight, I don’t think that’s a smart idea. I’ll probably be spending tomorrow trying to salvage what’s left of my relationship.’ ‘You’re not serious.’ ‘I am.’

He opened his mouth to protest but then appeared to change his mind. You watched as all the fight he had left in him dissolved. There was nothing left for him to say, and he knew it. 

The irritating birds that constantly chirped right outside your bedroom window woke you up. It was too damn early, and your head felt as though it was splitting open. When you sat up, you were hit by a wave of nausea so strong that you had no other choice but to sprint to the bathroom, smashing into the corner of your chest of drawers on the way. 

Which was to say, it was a bad morning. 

After you had puked up the entire contents of your stomach, you jumped straight in the shower, brushed your teeth, and did your skincare. At least if Elijah showed up at your front door, you wouldn’t look like you got super drunk last night, even though he’d probably already guessed. 

When you checked your phone, there were still no notifications from him, and when you called, there was no answer. This wasn’t unlike him, but it had been almost twelve hours since Bradley picked up your phone, and you would have thought he’d have something to say by now. 

To distract yourself from your impending doom, you threw open all the windows in your apartment, made your bed, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher—all the usual morning tasks. It seemed a shame to waste such a beautiful Saturday, but you doubted you’d enjoy any of your hobbies when you were this anxious and hungover. 

With nothing else left to do, you set about making some breakfast. 

Just as you put your bagel in the toaster, somebody knocked on the door. 

Your stomach twisted itself into an impossibly tight knot. You were rooted to the spot, unable to move until whoever it was knocked a second time. 

You looked through the peephole, expecting to see Elijah standing there with his dark eyebrows knitted together in frustration. It was the only scenario that had crossed your mind, so when you saw Bradley standing there, you were very surprised. 

You took a deep breath and opened the door, greeted by the warm scent of sandalwood once again. 

‘Bradley?’

He was holding two iced lattes, which you were betting were vanilla—your favourite. Elijah hadn’t done that for you since the first week of your relationship.

‘Hey, Y/N. Thought you could use this.’

He wasn’t wrong. You ushered him inside, and he headed to the kitchen, where he 

perched himself on one of the stools at your kitchen island. This morning, he was sporting one of his more toned-down Hawaiian shirts and dark jeans. His eyelids drooped, and you wondered if he’d slept at all. 

‘I was just about to make bagels. Want one?’ ‘Sure, thank you.’

You busied yourself, putting bacon and eggs into a pan while he sipped his coffee. He eyed you with the curiosity of someone who had come over to check that you were all in one piece. Once he was satisfied that you were, he relaxed slightly. 

‘Thank you for bringing me home last night. I really appreciate it.’ You told him earnestly.  ‘You don’t need to thank me. You’d have done the same thing.’ ‘True, but still. And I’m sorry for snapping at you.’ 

Last night was gradually coming back to you in flashes, like a supercut. Each time you remembered a new detail, you cringed internally. 

‘You also don’t need to apologise. Has he called you?’ 

While the eggs and bacon were cooking, you toasted another bagel for Bradley and buttered yours. Even though you’d known him for years and been quite close until you got into a relationship, you were struggling to admit that you were pretty much being ghosted. It was already hard to walk around on base knowing that everybody was aware of how Elijah treated you. When you didn’t respond, Bradley took that as a no. 

‘Well, that’s his problem,’ he spat. ‘You did absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe if he were less of a control freak, you would have felt like you could tell him you were out with us rather than hiding it, and then he wouldn’t have found out the way he did.’

The toaster popped, and you jumped. It felt like somebody had run a cheese grater over your nerves. Bradley ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, clearly trying to reign in his anger.

‘I should apologise too,’ he continued. ‘I shouldn’t have answered your phone. It was a dick move, and I regretted it the instant I did it.’ 

You buttered the second bagel, put one egg on each of the bottom halves, and stacked two pieces of bacon on top before adding the top part. You didn’t say a word the entire time, and Bradley was starting to get antsy. 

‘Y/N. Please talk to me.’ ‘I don’t know what to say, Roo. I’m struggling even to think straight right now. He knows it drives me fucking crazy when he’s having a go at me and doesn’t respond. I don’t understand why he does it, knowing how it makes me feel.’ Bradley sighed. ‘Because he doesn’t give a shit how you feel. He doesn’t give a shit about anything other than himself and how he feels.’ 

This wasn’t news to you, but again, it was more impactful to hear someone else say it out loud. Really, how long could you keep this up? Whether you thought you deserved it or not, you were starting to wonder if you might be better off alone than with someone who made living feel like walking next to a cliff with your eyes closed. 

You pushed Bradley’s plate across the counter and picked up your bagel. Eating felt impossible, but getting through the day with this headache would be excruciating if you didn’t at least try. 

‘Come and sit down,’ Bradley said. ‘It’s not good to eat standing up.’ Despite everything, you managed to laugh. And this time, it was a real laugh. ‘Why?’ A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘I don’t know. My mum used to say it all the time.’

You did as you were told, and you walked around the island, taking the seat next to him. The two of you ate in companionable silence, periodically taking sips of your coffees. This was how easy it should have been with Elijah. 

When you were both finished, Bradley put your plates, pan, and utensils into the dishwasher. You were too tired to tell him to stop. 

‘Thanks for breakfast.’  You smiled. ‘Thanks for being you.’

Bradley’s smile mirrored your own. Unsaid words hung in the air, but you didn’t know what to say. His leaving didn’t feel right, but if he stayed and Elijah made an appearance, he’d most definitely break up with you. 

But wasn’t this radio silence all the confirmation you needed that things were pretty much over, anyway? You were starting to wonder if this weekend had all happened exactly the way it was supposed to. Your eyes were indeed open, that was for sure. Of course, you’d known that the relationship wasn’t healthy, but this weekend had really driven the point home. 

‘Do you wanna go for a walk along the beach?’ You asked, hopefully. ‘We could grab some ice cream at that little place next to the arcade.’

Bradley didn’t just look happy. He also looked relieved that you weren’t asking him to leave. 

‘I’d love to.’

It was a beautiful Spring day, perfect walking weather. Honestly, it was the last thing Bradley expected you to suggest, so he jumped on the idea before you could change your mind and send him home.

Because he really didn’t want to go home. 

He’d sensed that you didn’t want to talk about Viper, and you’d yet to bring up your conversation on the beach last night. Bradley was beginning to doubt that you even remembered everything you said—all that nonsense about not deserving a healthy love. Bradley didn’t take you as a liar, which meant you believed that you weren’t deserving of happiness. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt quite so sad and also angry at the same time. So many emotions were warring for the top spot in his heart, and as a result, his brain was incredibly foggy.

A walk along the beach with you was perhaps the only cure.

‘Did you hear about Hangman?’ Bradley assumed you hadn’t. ‘No?’ ‘He’s getting deployed. He’s leaving next month.’ ‘How long is he going for?’ ‘Six months.’ You whistled lowly. ‘Damn.’ ‘I know. I think he’s looking forward to it, though. I sure am.’ ‘You know, I don’t think you hate him half as much as you say.’ Bradley chuckled. ‘Maybe not, but being nice to him wouldn’t feel right. Even after everything that happened on the mission.’ 

The two of you walked down the beach, chit-chatting about anything that came to mind. You were about halfway to the ice cream place when your phone pinged. Bradley guessed it would be Viper, but he never could have guessed what the message said. 

It was a photo of you and Bradley walking down the beach, taken from behind. The picture had been forwarded to you from someone else. 

E<3: always knew you were a slut.

You inhaled sharply, obviously hurt by the words on the screen. Not two seconds later, he sent another text. 

E<3: PS: we’re fucking over.

The two of you had stopped walking. Bradley watched over your shoulder as you furiously typed a reply and deleted it again. You turned to face him, and his heart just about broke when he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks. You didn’t need to say a word. He pulled you close to him, wrapping you tightly in his arms. You stayed that way for a while, sobbing into his Hawaiian shirt as he rubbed your back soothingly. When you eventually pulled away, the first thing you did was apologise. 

‘There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, sweet girl. He’s the one who should be sorry.’ You sniffled. ‘I don’t know what to reply.’ ‘Leave it for now,’ he said. ‘We can go get ice cream, take a slow walk back to yours. Then I’ll help you think of something.’ ‘I don’t know if I feel like ice cream anymore.’ ‘Well, that’s too bad because I do. Ice cream is the best remedy for heartbreak.’ ‘Did your mum tell you that too?’ ‘She sure did.’ 

It turns out Bradley was right about ice cream being the best remedy for heartbreak. The two of you sat on the wall, watching the waves while he munched on a mint chocolate chip cone and you butterscotch. It was hard to tell whether it was the best ice cream you’d ever had or if it was because you were with Bradley. If you remembered correctly, you’d had ice cream from this same place with Elijah before, and it hadn’t been this nice.

Thinking back on your memories with him only made you want to cry, so you did your best to shove them to the back of your mind. Despite the fact that he was actually a very shitty person, he’d been a dream at the beginning, and that didn’t just go away. The happy moments didn’t just suddenly turn to ash, as much as you wished they would. 

‘What are your plans for the rest of the night?’ Bradley asked around his ice cream cone. ‘I don’t know, Roo. I’m kinda working on a minute-to-minute basis right now.’ Bradley nodded. ‘Okay, well, what would you say to junk food run and a movie night?’ ‘With you?  ‘If you want to. I just don’t think it’s good for you to be alone.’ ‘I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me.’ ‘Is that what you think this is?’ ‘No, but I don’t want to be a burden. Or a charity case.’ ‘Y/N, you’re none of those things. I always want to spend time with you. Just so happens I have a good excuse today.’ You frowned into your ice cream. ‘Okay. As long as you’re sure.’ 

The two of you finished your ice cream and took a slow walk back to your apartment. When you got in, the first thing you noticed was a framed photograph of you and your now ex-boyfriend on the side table in the hallway. When your bottom lip started trembling, Bradley picked up the photo, put it face down, and then proceeded to run around your apartment and take down any others. It didn’t feel like the same place you’d left a few hours ago. It was haunted by memories that would never look right in the light of day. Even the happiest ones from the start were tainted with the ugliness of his cruel words and actions. 

‘This place is so depressing.’ You grumbled.

Bradley stood in front of you with a stack of photos and one of Elijah’s t-shirts. 

‘It’s not. It’s your home, Y/N. We just have to pack away his stuff and put it all in a box.’ ‘An ex-boyfriend box.’ Bradley smiled sadly. ‘Yeah, exactly. It might be over, and he might be a dick, but it was still a big part of your life, and it’s important to keep the memories safe in case you wanna look back on them someday.’ ‘Or in case I wanna burn them.’ ‘That too.’ Bradley chuckled

So you helped him gather all the mementoes from your relationship and put them in an old Dr Martens box. It all looked pretty pathetic, packed away in a shoebox.

‘I found one of his hoodies and a few other things.’ You called from your bedroom. ‘Can you grab me a bin bag from the top of the fridge?’

You heard shuffling, and then Bradley was standing in the doorway holding out the bag you requested. 

‘Damn, he doesn’t even get one of the nice Trader Joe's bags?’ ‘No,’ you giggled. ‘He gets a trash bag because his stuff is trash, and he’s trash.’

You weren’t really at the stage where you believed that just yet, but saying it was really satisfying, and it felt good to laugh. Fake it till you make it or whatever. 

‘Want me to give it to him tomorrow?’ ‘Thanks, but I should really be the one to do it. I haven’t even texted him back.’ You thought about it for a moment and then continued. ‘Would it be cheeky of me to ask if you’ll come with me? Maybe Nat, too? I could use some moral support, and he’s less likely to make a scene if the two of you are there.’ ‘Of course I’ll be there. I won’t say anything unless you need me to or unless he starts. I can’t make that same promise for Nix, though.’ ‘I haven’t even told Nat yet,’ you sighed. ‘I don’t think I wanna talk about it right this second.’ ‘I’ll text her. Don’t worry about it.’

From your spot on the floor, you looked up at Bradley. The evening sunlight was streaming in through the windows, casting an ethereal glow around him. 

‘You should change your callsign to angel.’ A look of pleasant surprise flickered across his handsome features. ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re literally my angel, Roo. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’

Half an hour later, Bradley convinced you to go on a junk food run with him in the Bronco. He said tonight was a mandatory, post-breakup wallowing sesh because if you bottled up your feelings now, you’d explode later at a much more inconvenient time. 

The two of you had been screaming along to all the classic breakup songs: All Too Well by Taylor Swift (yes, he knew all the words), Who Knew by Pink, What About Now by Daughtry… He’d driven the long way to the store because you got so into it. 

Now, as you scanned the shelves in Target, you asked: ‘What is it about screaming sad songs that makes you feel better?’ ‘It’s cathartic,’ Bradley explained. ‘Helps you relieve the strong feelings.’ ‘You know a lot about heartbreak.’ ‘Well, I’ve had my fair share of sadness.’ You froze. ‘That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry.’ Bradley took the packed of Reeses Pieces from your hands so he could hold them. ‘Can you make me a promise?’ ‘What?’ You asked sceptically. ‘Promise you’re gonna stop apologising to me all the time. You have nothing to be sorry for.’ ‘Sorry.’ You smiled sheepishly.  He shook his head. ‘That’s not what you’re supposed to say.’ ‘Okay, fine,’ you huffed. ‘I promise to stop apologising all the time.’ ‘Thank you,’ Bradley said, releasing your hands reluctantly. ‘Now, pick out five more things.’ ‘Five? There’s already five things in the basket.’ ‘Did I ask?’ ‘I’m gonna get fat.’ ‘Don’t be so ridiculous. Wallowing means junk food, and I don’t know if you’re looking at the same basket I am, but that’s not enough junk food.’ ‘Christ Almighty, okay.’ 

He helped you pick out five more things, and then you headed to check out.

‘What movies are good for wallowing?’ You asked. ‘Well, we have to start with a couple of sad ones and then finish with a happy one.’

The cashier told you your total, and Bradley tapped his card before you could even get yours out. You gave him a withering look.

‘I would’ve paid for that. You paid for the ice cream.’ ‘So?’ ‘So we should take it in turns.’

Obviously, he carried the bags as well, and as you walked back to the Bronco, he couldn’t help but wonder if Viper made you take it in turns. If you were his girl, you’d never have to tap your card.

‘What’s your favourite sad movie?’ He inquired.  You opened the trunk for him so he could put the bags in. ‘Technically, it’s not a sad movie. But there’s this part in Inside Out…Wait, have you watched it before? I don’t wanna spoil it for you.’ ‘The part where Bing Bong gets forgotten?’ You gasped. ‘How did you know?’ ‘Because it gets me every single time.’

The way you looked at him in that moment, like he had hung the moon in the sky—God, it was too much. 

‘We’ll start with Inside Out,’ he told you, opening the passenger door so you could climb in. ‘And then we’ll think of something else.’

Without giving much thought to what he was doing, Bradley found himself buckling your seatbelt for you. You were holding your breath, and it dawned on him how easy it would be to kiss you if he were that sort of guy.

And as much as he wanted to kiss you, he was not that sort of guy. He wasn’t about to take advantage of the fact that some asshole had just taken a sledgehammer to your very beautiful heart. 

‘Can we watch Bridge To Terabithia?’ You whispered.

Bradley hadn’t moved, and you were so close that he could feel your warm breath on his cheek. 

‘Are you trying to break my heart, Y/N?’ ‘Yes. I want you to feel my pain.’ 

He was grinning the whole way around the car to the driver’s side and still grinning when he got in the car. You already had his phone in your hand, searching for more sad songs so you could continue your car concert on the way back to your apartment. He drove the long way again so the two of you could finish your rendition of ‘I Don’t Love You’ by My Chemical Romance, which Bradley didn’t know the words to. He tried his best, though, because you seemed to love it, and he couldn’t deny you anything. 

By the time you got home, the sun had almost entirely set. While he set the snacks out on the coffee table, you went around lighting candles and switching on fairy lights. He’d never seen your apartment in the dark, and it was incredibly cosy. Even though it was relatively warm, you dragged all your blankets and pillows from your bed and made a little nest on the sofa. You were so adorable, it was hard to believe that someone could treat you badly. 

If you were his girl, every night would look like this—except you’d be a lot happier, and there would be no tears. 

Halfway through Bridge To Terebitha, you fell asleep. Bradley had been trying to keep his distance despite wanting to wrap you up in his arms, yet somehow—in your sleep—you’d ended up with your legs in his lap. He’d frozen at first, but once he realised you were dead to the world, he allowed himself to rest his hands on your knees. Really, it was that or sit with his arms crossed, and that would be silly. 

For the duration of the movie, his attention flickered between you and the TV. Every time he tried paying attention to what was happening, his eyes wandered back to your peaceful face. He marvelled at your astounding beauty, the delicate way your eyelashes rested against the tops of your rosy cheeks. Bradley had always admired you, and you’d been good friends for years, but what he felt in that moment was something else entirely. By the time the end credits started rolling, he knew without a doubt that he’d set whole cities ablaze to keep you warm. Feelings as rapidly growing as his should have been terrifying, but Bradley wasn’t scared. Falling in love with you seemed to be as easy as wading out into a calm ocean on a warm summer’s day. 

He knew you’d yet to learn that falling in love and staying in love should always be this easy. He knew it was going to take some time to convince you that you deserved healthy love, that the right person would never run away from you and keep turning around to make sure you were chasing them. 

But Bradley was a patient man, and he would wait as long as he had to.

End of part one.

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

The Bear (Anders Lassen x F! Reader)

Request from @wunder-blunder: I'm (VERY) interested in Anders Lassen (The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare) x female reader, I really enjoyed your fic Living for Later (a part 2 for that would be awesome)! So, if you're still interested/reading, my idea is that the group (Anders, Gus, etc.) go to a bar after they get out of confinement at the end of the movie, and that's where Anders and the female reader meet. The female reader (very understandably) can't stop staring at Anders so he walks over to ask why she's staring. The female reader will say how she's just shocked that anyone would let a bear into a bar (Anders is the bear), flirty banter happens and eventually leads to much more explicit things.

Pairing: Anders Lassen x Female Reader

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, minors do not interact. 18 + ONLY. Oral M & F receiving, language, thigh riding, p in v, happy ending.

Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare Masterlist

"Taste that, Gentlemen," Gus holds up his pint, "the taste of freedom." They click their glasses together, beer sloshing over the side and landing on the bar top before they tip back the pints.

"Damn, I don't think anything could taste better," Freddy sighs, looking at his glass like a lover.

Anders smiles to himself, "I can think of something." His eyes scan across the room, his back casually leaning against the bar.

"Naughty boy, Lassen," Apple laughs, taking another sip and glancing around at the lack of women in the pub. "But it doesn't look like you're going to have much luck around here."

"Would you like another?" Anders turns slowly, his heartbeat quickening when he sees you there behind the bar, the other bartender giving you a smile and a pat on the back as he heads out. "Jesus," you whistle, "I didn't know we let bears in here."

"What?" Anders sits straighter looking around for the threat.

You giggle, "I meant you," you point at him, "you look like a fuckin' bear. What did you do to get a body like that? Bench press cars?"

His cheeks turn pink and he coughs, adjusting his glasses, "I-well I."

"Steamin' Jesus," Apple chuckles, "she's got you tongue-tied Lassen!"

You give the one called Lassen a playful wink before pouring him another pint and placing it before him. "This one's on the house, didn't mean to embarrass ya in front of your friends."

"It's no trouble," he turns and speaks at his friends between clenched teeth, "they seem to have lost their manners in prison."

"Prison?" you stand straighter looking between the patrons, "you lot just got out of prison?" They nod sheepishly, "what the hell for?"

"That's classified," the one with the dark black facial hair and curls speaks up. "But we were found innocent and released today."

"So you're not raging murderous psychopaths?" you ask, refilling their glasses and wiping down the bar from the previous spill.

"Only when it comes to Nazis," you look at the Bear and feel a smile pull at your lips.

"Well, that's just fine then."

The rest of the night passes quickly, you make conversation with the other patrons, fix drinks, and try not the spend the entire time drooling over the beast of a man seated at your ber. While all of those things go well, the latter is hard to accomplish. It probably isn't helpful that you can feel his eyes follow you around the room.

And when your eyes meet, it's fucking electric. He's so big, he barely fits on the chair, his shirt sleeves rolled up leave little to the imagination and it makes your seriously want to know if he's that big, everywhere.

"Last call, gents," you ring the bell, seeing a handful of regulars come up for a final pint or to settle their bill.

You move about the room, starting the closing tasks for the evening, tossing goodbyes over your shoulder until the chime of the door is silenced. But when you look up your breath catches at seeing one lone patron remaining.

"We're closed," your voice comes out breathy, and you clear your throat. He's silent, watching you like he has all night, and you feel your assessment of him as a bear was accurate. He's an animal alright, and he's hungry.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, crossing his arms across him onto the bar top, and resting his chin on his hands. "Say the word, and I will go."

The words slip out before you can process, "No," he smiles, "I don't want you to leave."

He nods, before straightening, "what do we need to do to go?"

"Oh," you quickly lift your hands, shaking your head, "no, you just sit there, I can finish by myself."

He stands and your eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. Fuck, he is a giant, towering over you. You didn't get to grasp how tall he was when he sat at the bar all evening and your panties drench just thinking of how big he is. The thought from earlier comes back with a vengeance and you gulp, your eyes traveling down his body.

"See something you like?" He holds out his arms and turns for you, smirking when he catches your eyes, "are you just going to look, darling?"

"No," you swallow, shaking your head, and moving to stand before him. Tentatively you reach a hand out towards his chest, gasping when he grabs your wrist and pulls you into his orbit. His chest is solid muscle beneath your palm, and you move across his chest towards his arm, tongue coming out to lick your lips.

He groans, and your eyes snap to his, but his arm on your lips, "can I kiss you?" he asks, his hand coming to rest on your chin, his thumb pulling down your bottom lip before you bend your head and take it into your mouth. Tongue swirling around his digit, sucking it between your lips before letting go with a pop.

"Knulla," he mumbles under his breath.

"Kiss me Bear," you command and he wastes not a moment. His arms wrapping around your waist and hoisting you into his arms before your ass lands on the bar top. He nestles his body between your thighs, spreading them far to make room for his large form.

"Tell me you want this," he's so close, and you feel a little drunk having him so close. "Tell me," you pulls you towards the edge of the counter, your soaking through your panties, skirt bunched around him, "that you want me to fuck you. That you'll let me take you home and do everything I've been dreaming to do to you all night."

The sound of your heart beating is so deafening you can guarantee he can hear it. "Yes," you whimper, begging him with your body to put you out of your misery and kiss you.

"Then," he takes a step back, lowering your skirts, "what do we need to do to leave?"

You huff, crossing your arms and withering on the bar top, desperate for any kind of friction. The Bear misses nothing though and quickly steps forward, pulling you off the counter and to your feet. "None of that," he chastises playfully, "the only thing getting you off tonight will be me."

"Hmph," you step out of his arms, crossing your own across your chest. "You won't even kiss me, how do I know it's even worth letting you take me home?"

"I see," he nods, "the little barn needs a taste."

You don't get a chance to ask about the meaning of the word before he has you pinned to the wall, his knee slotted between your skirts and his mouth hot on your own. It's like an inferno, his mouth moving with your own in a complicated waltz only you two knowing the steps. When he lifts his knee, and presses it to your cunt, you gasp, his tongue sliding into your mouth and tangling with your own.

You are lost to everything but him, and when he raises his boot to his toes and rolls his leg up and down you quickly grasp onto his shoulders, his forehead pressed to your own. You close your eyes and rock your hips, being held completely off the ground by his tree trunk of a thigh.

"That's it," he praises, holding onto your hips and helping you move back and forth on his thigh. "Your bear is hungry," he latches his lips onto your neck when your head drops back against the wall. "Hmm," he groans, sucking and leaving bites along your neck, "I want you to cum," he whispers in your ear, sucking your earlobe between his lips. "Then I'm gonna take you home and lick that pretty pussy clean until you make a mess all over my face, again."

The combination of the filth rolling off his tongue and the strong thigh beneath you, working together with his hands on your waist is all too much. You grab him around the neck with one arm and the other hand is on his arm and you pull yourself up and down with a small cry and a whimper of his name as you fall apart beneath his skilled fingers.

Your breath is loud in the silence of the pub and you both still as he slowly lowers you to the ground. The legs you stand on are wobbly and he quickly reaches out an arm to steady you. "Are you alright, my darling?" he asks softly, running a hand over your face, and smiling when you nod. "You were so beautiful," he marvels, "if that's how gorgeous you look cumming on my thigh. You will rival the gods when you cum on my cock."

"Lassen," you whimper his name and he closes his eyes and controls his breathing.

"Please, call me Anders," he begs, slowly opening his eyes and taking a step back, "what do we need to do to finish?"

"Nothing," you shake your head, turning to reach over the bar for your purse, "I'm opening the bar tomorrow at 11, I'll come in early and finish it."

"We should finish it now," he argues gently, holding up a hand to interrupt you, "trust me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think you're going to make it in tomorrow." You eyes widen and you go to ask the question when he offers the answer, "you'll be lucky to walk tomorrow when I'm through with you."

The two of you make quick work of the closing tasks and after making a quick call to your boss about covering for the next day you both finally leave the pub. The London air is chilly and you pull your threadbare coat tighter around your body, locking the door behind you. A couple passes when you turn and you sigh looking at the womans fine coat and gloves, a girl could dream.

A heavy weight drops across your shoulders, the scent of tobacco and leather heady as you snuggle into the warmth. "Let's get you home," Anders, reaches an arm around you and you turn towards home. If it wasn't for the spend dripping down your thighs, you'd think it was just an evening stroll between a couple. You'd always wish you had a man to meet you after work and walk you home. Someone to make sure you made it home safe.

With Anders arms around you, you could almost pretend. You walked in comfortable silence, the tension from earlier simmering as your pace quickened when your apartment came into view. You took the steps two at a time, and before long you stood before the door.

You shrug off his coat and hand it to him before reaching into your purse for your keys. The room is dark and you move around the room, turning on lamps and hanging up your coat. The deadbolt is deafening and when you turn to look towards the door, your jaw drops.

The whole thing happens in slow motion, his eyes on you the whole time. He’s wearing suspenders and he lowers each side till their hanging at his waist. His hands are slow, methodical, as he unbuttons each button of his shirt. Your own hands mirroring his actions as you slip the buttons of your shirt in time with each of his. He tugs the shirt off and your mouth waters. His chest is a canvas of scars, and for a second he looks unsure as you step forward, hand reaching out to trace the long one across his abdomen. 

“How did that happen?” you ask, whispering. He tells you everything, your hand tracing each and every scar before going over them with your lips. 

When you’ve finished tracing your tongue across the last scar, a bullet he received two years ago protecting a child does he find his voice. “You’re not disgusted?” 

“My handsome Bear,” you cradle his face, “these scars are the canvas of your life. The life you’ve fought so hard to live. I could never be disgusted.” 

He lets out a shallow breath before nodding, “Thank you.” 

“No,” you hold a finger to his lips, “no thank you are necessary. It is I who should be thanking you.” You trace your hand down his abdomen and reach for his belt, holding his gaze when you begin to open his pants and lower the zipper, dropping to your knees and licking your lips as you work the pants down his legs. 

His cock is magnificent, and you are pleased to know he really is that large, everywhere. “Fuck,” you mumble, wondering for a moment how you’ll even manage to get him in your mouth let alone your pussy. He’s silent, watching you and he steps out of his pants, tossing them and his shoes into the corner and standing before you completely naked. 

You reach for his cock and give it a tentative stroke, your hand not even encompassing half his size, mouth salivating at the dribble of pre-cum pooling at the end. You stick out your tongue and lick the end of his cock, moaning softly at the salty taste. “Fan, gör det igen älskling,” he moans head dropping back and you feel encouraged by the broken way he just sounded.

Your jaw strains from the stretch but you manage to slide about half of him down your throat before you hit the back. Your panties drip onto the floor, when you pull him back out and in, lubricating the rest so your hands can slide in time with your mouth. You want to touch your pussy so bad, it’s throbbing but his moans of pleasure are enough to get you off. He leans down, putting one of his hands on your head and guiding you deeper, gagging on his cock. 

Anders looks down, his mouth dropped open on a moan, watching the saliva drip down your chin and splash like raindrops on your exposed breasts. He wants to lick them, open his mouth wide and suck each gorgeous globe between his lips, teasing your nipple with his tongue. But right now he’s lost to the way you look at him. Tears streaming down your chin as you attempt to take him deeper and deeper with each thrust of his hips, he’s so fucking close and he wants to cum inside your mouth, watch your mouth fill with the white creamy cum and see your throat bob as your swallow down his load. 

“I’m gonna cum,” he warns, holding your head still and listening to your gag as he cums down your throat with a loud groan of your name. It’s as beautiful as he thought when he pulls out and watches you gasp, hands on his thighs as you try to catch your breath, his cum all over your lips until you lick them clean with a grin. 

Anders reaches a hand out, pulling you up and quickly disposing of the rest of your clothes. He doesn’t bother with your bra straps, the fabric ripping and tossed in the corner before he’s tossing you over his shoulder and heading for the bedroom. You let out a loud squeal but he silences you when he fondles your ass, giving it a sharp slap. 

He tries three doors before he finds the bedroom, and tosses you onto the bed - tits bouncing with the force. “Spread your legs for me, darling,” he drops to his knees and crawls up the bed, nestling himself between your thighs. “Let me see that messy cunt.” He lifts one of your legs and rests it on his shoulder, spreading you wide, and running a thick finger between your folds. “Hmm,” he hums happily, spreading your wetness all over your folds. 

Anders leans forward and you reach down, grabbing his hair with one hand, the other quickly reaching behind you for the pillow when he licks at your clit. Almost like a kitten licking a bowl of milk, he hums, the vibrations traveling up your body and you wither, groaning when he lifts his other arm and rests it across your stomach keeping you still. 

That’s when everything changes. Gone is the kitten and the bear comes out to play. He devours you, his nose dragging through your slit and he tongue following, playing with your clit like the expert marksman you assume he is. 

“Anders,” you try to rock your hips and he lets up with his grip, letting you ride his face. 

He pulls up for air, watching mesmerized as your hips lift trying to follow his mouth. You halt when he spits on your pussy, the sound lewd and loud your leg rising as he lifts one of his arms and puts it between you. You arch off the bed on a gasp when he slides two of his thick fingers inside you. 

You grasp the arm at your waist in an iron grip, moving your hips up and down. He curls his fingers and you see stars. “Fuck!” He leans down, sucking your clit back into his mouth and moving his tongue back and forth. The slight stubble leaves a delicious burn that aches. “I’m gonna-“ you pant, struggling to get the words out before you feel the pressure build and explode soaking his fingers. He doesn’t lose momentum, riding your high out until you’re pushing his face away. 

He crawls up your body and rests his body gently on your own. He rests his head on your chest, like he did on his arms back at the bar, grinning. 

“You look quite pleased with yourself,” you run your fingers through his hair, his head tilting to rest more into your hand. 

“I am,” he smiles, “to have a beautiful woman fall apart on my tongue is a blissful thing.” 

“You must have had many women to have such skill.” The idea leaves a sour feeling in your stomach and your hand falls back to your chest but he quickly moves his head beneath your hand to encourage your touch. 

“I haven’t,” his words surprise you and you meet his eyes to see them already upon you. “Been with many women that is. Just two.” You’re unsure if you believe him, but he places a kiss between your breasts and moves up your body to gently kiss your lips. His cock grows hard against your belly with each swipe of his tongue against your own. “I want to see you cum again,” he whispers against your lips. 

“Then fuck me-“ the words die on your tongue when he lifts your legs and presses them into your stomach, his cock brushing through your folds. 

“As you wish,” he grins, pressing just the head inside you. You gasp, tossing your head back as he works himself deeper and deeper inside you with each thrust of his hips. 

“Oh god,” you moan, his thumb working your clit as he finally fits himself all the way inside you. 

His chuckle has your eyes snapping open to look at him with a tilt of your head and he gives you a wink, “Not god, darling, just me.” 

“You assho-” he rocks his hips, pulling back all the way before slamming back in again. You can’t breathe, each stroke of his enormous cock punching the oxygen from your lungs. 

You close your eyes, lost in the sensations he brings out, each snap of his hips fills you deeper and deeper, and you’re sure you can feel him poking out of your stomach. The room is otherwise silent besides your panting breath, incoherent mumblings of his name, and the lewd sounds of his cock pumping into your soaked pussy. 

“Look at me,” Anders, nudges his head against your own and you slowly open your eyes. “There you are,” he praises, kissing you deeply, “keep your eyes on me, I want to see you cum.” 

“An-Anders,” you hold onto both his arms and look between you, seeing him disappear inside you with each movement of his massive body. The pressure in your belly builds like a volcano bound to explode and he sees it, moving his hips quicker and chasing your release with his own. 

“Cum for me, darling,” he commands, his accent strong, “cum now.” You obey, arching your chest up into him and letting out a loud moan, squeezing around his cock so tight. “Shit,” he groans, flooding you with his release. It’s hot and thick and you can feel it drip down your thighs, leaving them sticky. 

He stays buried deep inside you, his massive arms on either side of your head keeping himself upright so he does not crush you. You want to feel his weight on you, feel him keep you there with his body, never let you go. But eventually, he does, but not before kisses are pressed over every inch of your face. He may be a bear in appearance; a fierce fighter that could tear your limb from limb with little thought. But inside hes nothing but a teddy bear, a lover, someone you could easily get attached too. 

“Wheres the bathroom?” he asks, sitting up, his eyes fixed on where he’s left a mess licking his lips. You point to the door in the corner and he reluctantly rises. God, he’s a fucking sight, all hard lines and muscles, and with each step away you want to shout for him to return. 

He returns quickly with a clothe, wiping you clean and collapsing back into bed. Tugging you into his arms, sleep quickly finds you, his arm rubbing up and down your back and humming a soft swedish lullaby. 

By the time you awaken the clock reads 1 pm and the bed is long cold. No note, no sign he was even there besides the two wet towels hanging in the bathroom. You hate how dissapointed you feel at his absence but the ache between your legs from the six additional orgasms since the night before remind you that even if you wished too you couldn’t have gone again. He had to leave eventually. 

The shower works out some of the kinks in your muscles but you still move slowly throughout the flat, trying to muster the strength to go into work that evening. While your boss had been accepting of missing the opening shift at the pub you couldn’t get out of closing tonight. 

The pub is loud when you arrive and you smile at the other bartender before jumping into the fray and starting to take orders. The night moves quickly luckily despite your melancholy mood, several of the regulars pick up on it; cracking jokes in the hopes of alleviating some of the sadness. 

From behind you notice another seat fill at the bar and go to turn, “What can I get-” the words evaporate on your tongue—a great bear of a man filling the bar stool before you. You look at one another, the pub continuing around you like it didn’t know your world was slowly tilting on its axis. 

“You,” he puts his arms on the bar top and smiles at you, “I would like to have you.” 

“You did,” you cross your arms over your chest, “you left without a word.” 

He lifts a bag from the floor and puts it on top of the counter, “I needed to go grab this.” 

He’s piqued your curiosity and knows it, grinning like a schoolboy as you uncross your arms and move closer, to pull the bag down and look inside. The contents are ordinary, clothes and an extra pair of shoes, a shaving kit, several knives, and guns. “I don’t understand,” you glance up at him and catch the quick hint of vulnerability. 

He clears his throat, “I went to grab my things. So I could come back home.” 

“Home?” you feel a tightness in your throat, “and where might that be?” 

“I already told you, darling. You. You, are my home.” 

“We hardly know one another,” the first tear slips down your cheek and he stands leaning over the bar to brush it away. “You could be a madman for all I know, a brute, a beast.” 

He holds a hand to his chest, mock offense clear on his face, “I am no such thing. I am a lover, not a fighter. You raise a brow at him, pulling out the large hunting knife from his bag and he grins sheepishly, “Okay, I am a bit of a fighter.” 

You stare at him, him watching with bated breath for you to decide if he’s worth this effort. But you know you already decided when you turned around and saw him there. “You’re paying half the rent,” he beams, nodding happily, “and doing the washing and dishes. I won’t be a little housewife doing all the work while you sit around and drink.” 

“I can cook,” he stands, coming around the bar, the other patrons watching him curiously, looking between the two of you. “I’m very handy around the house,” he wraps his arms around your waist, your hands falling naturally to his chest. “I make the bed, clean up after myself, and will be your own personal guard dog, darling, no one will ever hurt you. I promise.” 

He leans down to kiss you but you pull back, watching the little crease between his brows deepen in confusion. “I don’t want a guard dog,” you whisper to his conspiritorily, “I want a bear.” 

His laugh is loud and booming before he nods, “yes, my love, I’ll be your bear.” When he finally presses his lips to yours, the bar erupts in cheers, and for the first time in the long time, you’re exactly where you want to be.

[harmonicakai]

I Bet on Losing Dogs

Pairing: Beomgyu x Reader

Summary: Your insecurities get the best of you and you abandon your relationship with Beomgyu in the worst way possible.

Tropes: friends with benefits, angst, college AU, band AU

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: mentions of sex (mdni), emotional unavailability, slut shaming, no happy ending :-(

A/N: This is SAD because I am currently sad and also I didn’t bother to edit it. Apologies in advance to the Beomgyu biased readers bc I know this is not what anybody asked for </3

“You disappeared Like a faint ghost I bury it in the air What am I to you?” —Ghosting, TXT

You’re a horrible person.

Really, you should’ve broken things off with Beomgyu before they even began. It’s never a good idea to be friends with benefits with somebody you actually like. 

You do your best to distract yourself from confessing your love to him by sleeping with other guys. What started bright and electric between the two of you has fizzled with each encounter, his touch now feeling dull and hollow on your skin.

So, when you wake up next to him after a movie night, your stomach drops when you see the marks he’s left on your neck. Everybody will know what you get up to, if they haven’t already been gossiping about it behind your back.

There’s a numbness to the way you slip out of his apartment without so much as a goodbye. If you had woken him up, he would’ve noticed the sad look on your face and canceled all of his plans to spend the day making you feel better.

You don’t deserve his friendship, let alone his love, although he's only confessed the latter when he thinks you’re asleep and can’t hear him. Or, sometimes Huening Kai will let it slip how much Beomgyu talks about you when they’re away.

The walk home is brutal. You’re even wearing the jacket he’s refused to let you give back to him, knowing that if you had left it behind, he’d surely know something was wrong.

When he notices you’re gone, he shoots you a text about Merriam-Webster’s word of the day. Beomgyu has never cared for linguistics, but he knows you’re a real nerd about this kind of stuff. You decide not to reply.

Things would be much easier if you could just disappear out of his life, but the two of you have become so intertwined that it’s impossible. All of your friends are his friends.

Before him, you were just some quiet girl who shrunk away in the back of the classroom. After getting paired up and reading the poetry you managed to dream up, Beomgyu knew he had to get to know you more.

For most guys, the way he acts with you would come off as desperate. But he’s so earnest in his admiration for you and your talent that there’s simply no way he could possibly be faking it.

The first time you had gotten together was an honest mistake. You had been dumped, again, and he was there for you. It seems like he always is every time another man decides you aren’t worth his time.

It’s not that you don't love him. You do, as much as you’re able to. But you know that if you actually took things to the next level and they didn’t work out, it would break you entirely.

Still, is ghosting him without any sort of reason or explanation any better?

With finals in full swing, you know you’ve got the perfect excuse to be distant for a while. It’s the summertime that you’re worried about. Beomgyu has made sure to include you in every plan of his that he thinks you’d like, sometimes even arranging entire days around you in between his band’s schedules.

Really, the easiest way out is to start dating someone else. It always makes Beomgyu shrink further away from you to know that you will consistently pick someone else over him, although he’s secretly satisfied when things inevitably go sour. He hates knowing that the only thing that drives you into his arms is being rejected by somebody else, but he wants you too much to care.

The two of you talk about everything except how you feel about him, and he knows that he isn’t entitled to any of your emotions. You’ve made it clear from the start that you’re never going to be able to reciprocate in the way that he’d like for you to.

You weren’t always like this. At the start of college, you came in with the idea that you’d fall in love and have your happily ever after. But years of being used for your body and consequently dumped without reason has ripped your heart off your sleeve.

The way Beomgyu worships the ground you walk on makes no sense. You hate yourself. Maybe he just wants something to fix, and once you finally open up to him, he’ll leave you just like everybody else.

The thought makes no sense knowing him, but it’s the driving force in never confessing how you actually feel. So, you offer up yourself physically in the hopes that it’s enough, but it always leaves you feeling empty inside afterward. No amount of kisses or compliments will probably ever change that.

Among his bandmates, you’re closest to Yeonjun. He’s the only one who knows that you love Beomgyu just as much, maybe even more, than he loves you. 

It was revealed through a drunken confession at a frat party the weekend Beomgyu went home for his mom’s birthday, where you immediately got embarrassed and proceeded to go home with the first guy who gave you any sort of attention.

Meaningless sex is really the only way you can get off these days, but the act always leaves you feeling worse than feeling nothing at all with Beomgyu. But if you’re never going to be good enough, pure enough, to truly deserve him, then what’s the harm in another hook up?

You know that every time he finds out you've been with somebody else, you’re breaking his heart. It’s just that there’s so much love from him to go around that it never actually makes a difference in how he treats you. He has the biggest heart you’ve ever seen and you don’t even have the decency to not trample all over it.

You wonder if everybody else also agrees that you’re not good enough for him. They’re so nice whenever you’re around, but you’ve seen men turn into monsters behind your back. For your sake, you try not to think about anybody else's opinion besides Beomgyu’s, but even those thoughts weigh heavy on your shoulders.

After a few days of not returning his texts, he finally musters up the courage to call you. Before you can pick up, your phone sends him to voicemail, and you know that’ll be enough of a sign for him to leave you alone.

It isn’t until you run into him dropping off your poetry final in the writing department’s office that he truly sees what’s become of you.

You haven’t slept properly in days, and you barely eat. Your eyes are constantly puffy from crying all the time, and today is no different. Seeing you like this devastates him.

“Y/N,” he says, his voice shaky and barely above a whisper. He’s got his hand wrapped around your wrist to keep you from running away. His demand for an explanation on where you’ve been and why is stuck inside his throat, and instead, only sobs come out of his mouth.

Beomgyu never cries, and watching as he tries to hide the tears running down his face reminds you that he must be hurting just as much as you are. You want so badly to hold him and apologize, but all you do is stare.

Eventually, he manages to collect himself as much as he can, taking in the irreparable damage you’ve caused one last time.

“Here,” he says, digging in his backpack and handing you a stapled stack of papers. It’s his final project. “I’ll go print another. I want you to read these. Please, promise me you’ll read them.”

You accept the papers, your eyes skimming over the lines of poetry on the first page. It's about you. You flip through the rest of the stack. They're all about you.

It takes everything in you not to start crying too, although you’re so exhausted that you don’t think anything would even come out at this point.

“I promise,” you assure him, although neither of you know if you’re telling the truth.

—————-

Taglist: @orangesodafoam @deezbutz28 @ur-mother-realnotclickbait @iyeeeverydee @internet-folks @darlingz99 @foxyjun @stardustmooncakes @giaalorine @beomgyubabybear @niningtori @goquokka @csbenthusiast @moarmyjkhk @lizdevorak @sooberryworld @lonelybutterflytae @midnight-mochii @theresawtf @nowadays56 @jjklvr9 @baekberrie

P.S.: Please shoot me an ask or a reply if you’d like to be added to (or removed from) the taglist! I struggle to keep up with different lists for individual members, but if you really don't want to be tagged on all of my works, just let me know and I will do my best to make a note <3

[whathehonestfuk]

My brain has created a fun amalgamation of these two posts (link, link)

Steph deciding after Startcourt life is way too short to continue living it for anyone else and immediately starts transitioning, everyone who matters in her life is of course accepting. and the rest of Hawkins is too wrapped up in the drama of the mall to notice that Steph and Steve are the same person, its just assumed Steve got out of dodge after the mall burned down.

the party starts going to hellfire and Stephs babysitter mode activates because these people don't know what monsters and references could set her kids off so she decides to tell Eddie what he is not allowed to use in his campaign or even mention around them. She goes in boymode because no one knows Steph but Steve still has a reputation.

Eddie is very very confused when Steve Harrington approaches him and immediately gets into what he is not under any circumstances to mention in front of the newest members of hellfire and its got to be the weirdest prank or something because the kids have never mentioned knowing Steve at all and all and the only connection Eddie knows about it that Steve is Nancy's ex which would not explain this behavior at all. so of course he has to test it, to disastrous results they do a good job at putting on a brave face but its clear they're terrified and as soon as the session is called they pull out a walkie and start calling for check ins. a voice that must be the mysterious badass and beautiful babysitter Steph that they're constantly going on about tells them to stay put and that she'll come in and get them. they protest that they aren't kids anymore but she isn't hearing it.

Eddies excited to get to see her for himself to see if she really is all they've built her up to be or is this is just a childhood crush clouding their judgment. he decided they haven't been doing her enough justice as she swings the door open and is doing head counts and visual wellness checks backlit from the fluorescents in the hall way like some kind of angel. once shes assured of the partys safety she rounds on him hands on hips looking so bitchy and disappointed "you used something off the list didn't you" it isn't a question. the party catches her attention before he can untie his tongue ruffling hair and giving half hugs, he'll have to thank them latter because the wave goodbye Henderson gives him is definitely conspiratorial like he was taking her attention on purpose.

It takes a day after the weirdness that was the last hellfire meeting for curiosity to get the best of him and he goes to get answers, he has no idea where Steph lives but he's sold at enough Harrington house parties to find his way. Imagine his surprise when its Steph that opens the door and starts talking to him like they've actually conversed before. Like she was the one that gave him the list of things not to mention, while simultaneously dressing him down for not listening.

for at least a brief moment Eddie assumes Steph is dating herself, it would explain how she knows about his conversation with Steve why Steve felt it was his place to tell him about the monsters, maybe she had been busy and he'd offered to go in her stead, and why she was answering his door.

She explains that she can't actually explain all that much about why he cant use demogorgons and mindflayers in his campaigns, because NDAs are a bitch. but does give him what she can leaving him even more curious because what the hell did a bunch of 14 year olds get into in Hawkins that require NDAs

before he leaves though he has to ask how she knows steve because that shouldn't be some huge secret.

Steph looks like a deer in headlights for a moment before doubling over with laughter, snorting hard to breathe crying laughter ( it really shouldn't be as cute as it was) once shes composed herself enough she just states "I am steve"

[bau-drabbles]

masterlist/faq 💗

hi, i'm lia :) i really hope you enjoy reading these!! some of these might not make sense (written mainly at 12am lmao) so i do apologise if there's any mistakes/rushed. it will constantly updated so if there are any mistakes please don't hesitate to let me know 🤍

i'm always down to make new friends, please don't be shy to say hi or message!! :") i'd love to make new cm mutuals here ✨

requests/asks/drabbles/concepts are open!

i currently write for spencer reid and aaron hotchner but i'm not opposed to writing for the others, please feel free to ask. and if you'd like to be tagged for something specific or just in general, let me know <3 :)

mdni with any smut posts!! this blog is 18+ :)

spencer reid 🧸

best friends: fluff

meeting each other for the first time but he's completely entranced by you. much to your displeasure

say it again: fluff

being sick on a plane is never fun but your boyfriend is there to comfort you every step of the way

baby steps: fluff

the stars are beautiful but so is spencer reid, you have a hard time hiding the latter

keep me in your orbit, you'll know you drag me under: angst

it's simply much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch you at all. especially him

safety net: fluff

being in love is hard but spencer makes it all worthwhile

dancing with your ghost: angst

maeve's death affected spencer relationship with you more than realised, he just didn't know the true extent of it until jj points it out

whispered promises: angst

change is never easy, especially saying goodbye

request/asks:

do you like how i look? or just how i look on you?: angst

it's not easy having having relationship problems, especially when it stems from a woman he's loved for so long

only 1: angst

break ups are hard when you know deep down, you're not his one.

are you ashamed of me?: angst

loving spencer from afar is much easier than seeing him as he is.

insecurities: angsty fluff

spencer makes a comment a little too hurtful and it takes everything in you not to break down

soft moments with spencer: fluff

you find out your boyfriend is extra prone to accidents when he's away from you

struggles after prison: angsty fluff

prison was extremely rough, especially with self love and confidence but he's so lucky to have you by his side throughout it all

aaron hotchner 🦋

haunted, part 2: angst

emily, one of your close friends in the bau, comes back and after months of crying over her death you're not sure how to feel. it hurts the most when the deception also comes from aaron, the man you've loved for so long

the night we met, part 2: angst

what if haley never died that day? but what if your love for hotchner had to?

change your mind: angst

leaving the bau was difficult but leaving the man who holds your heart is even more worse.

goodnight n go: fluff/implied smut

drunk reader with oblivious/love struck aaron, the best type of mix

love me harder: smut

jealousy look good on hotch, so you've learned

requests/asks:

too many nights: angst

hotch loosing you because he's too stubborn, only realising how much you mean when you walk out of his life

you can tell me anything: fluff

having a sugar rush before bed is never a good idea. but your darling boyfriend will always entertain you

written in the stars: angst

being unable to be with hotch because of enemies but hotch is only complete and whole when he's with you

valentines day: fluff

spoiling aaron on valentines day <3

anxiety: fluff

hotch teaching you it's okay to be anxious, you're not alone anymore. you have him and the team

greedy for love: smut

your man is very stubborn but it's not an issue, you're an equal tease

making sounds: smut

aarons many sounds he makes in bed ;)

tender kisses: nsfw/fluff

small kisses with our beloved unit chief

saying goodbye: smut/angst

angsty emotional smut with aaron, clinging on to the reader before saying goodbye

hand in hand: fluff

running on a field hand in hand with your beautiful man, carefree and happy

picnics: fluff

a sweet picnic with the hotchner boys

soft hotch picnics: fluff

another picnic date with the hotch boys :)

aftercare: smut

how would aftercare look like with aaron hotchner? ;)

soft moments with hotch: fluff

staying back at the office and spending your evening in his company is a beautiful way to end the day

sweetest oblivion: angst

maybe hotchner isn't meant for you in this life

falling apart: angst. tw: implied suicide

you feel like you're falling into pieces and hotch can't quite save you in time.

dangerous love: angst

hotch can toxic with his work and it sucks to be on the receiving end of it all the time

3 + 1: fluff

3 times hotch pines for you and the 1 time the team do something about it

choosing between you and jack: angst

the choice is hard but it's one that has to be made

break ups: angst

its hard to leave a man you love with the entirety of your heart

nightmares: angsty fluff

hotch has a nightmare and you're the one he seeks

denying orgasms: smut

it's no surprise hotch denies your orgasms ;)

hotch cuddles: fluff

sweet sweet hugs with hotch <3

hurt/comfort: fluff

having a bad mental health day but hotch makes it all better <3

other 💌

spencer reid and his awkward smiles

your insta but you're dating aaron hotchner, part 1, part 2, part 3

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

I be back.

Images by themselves below the cut because I spent way too much time on them + text because I’ve been gone for a while—‘course I got a lotta say.

It’s certainly been a while, eh? I did this last cour, too, and I swear to God if I do this for the next cour… Worst part is, I haven’t even watched it yet this time, rip :,) Will definitely do sometime later today, for sure, for sure.

So, I meant to get this done for IchiHime week (and look at how that turned out, haha), but not only was July a month full of pleasure, but it was also full of pain work. I was bordering a D for Orgo, so I spent a good portion prioritizing that—and it wasn’t for naught! Not only did I pass, but I went from a C- to a B! A freaking B, not even a B-!!! I’m still so shocked… I also ended up with over a 100 for lab, but I honestly kinda expected that. I’m just so glad I graduated without failing Orgo 2. Was infinitely better than Orgo 1, but goodbye, will never see you again. If I ever do, it’ll be too soon… Had hella good professors, though. That, I will say.

I go from ranting about Orgo to raving, even though it’s almost been a month… Oops ^^” The grade just still makes me so giddy, haha. Anyway, been mainly prioritizing drawing this (plus a part two to this, which I do have done as well, but I will be posting that sometime later today), though I did spend a good portion of the first half of this month rebooting my personal writing club. Enough about where I’ve been—let’s talk about the piece, shall we?

So, this was originally just an art idea I knew I wanted to do later, and when I saw what the first prompt was, it automatically came to the forefront of my mind. That, plus with the idea I eventually got for the second prompt, I really just had to. I actually probably could’ve gotten this done in a more reasonable time, but, see, when things are just an idea, I don’t put too, too much thought into them—only enough to consider them neat or substantial or something.

When it actually came to it, I found myself at a dilemma of just how faithful I wanted to stick with Orihime’s confession. Originally, I thought about incorporating the five specific things she mentioned into different past lives, but then I realized the timelines wouldn’t really make sense with what I was going for, especially considering Soul Society and stuff, which I had not thought about. So I kinda had to choose between previous lives or parallel lives. I initially went with the latter, but… idk, last minute, like the week of, I decided after checking the prompt list one more time that, nah, I definitely wanted previous lives. So, uh… yeah… I might still end up making a parallel lives version of this in the future, ‘cause I did like those ideas, too. We’ll see.

Anyway, I did try to make them at least somewhat reminiscent of the five things: Orihime and Hikoboshi are related to the astronaut thing ‘cause of space and stars and stuff. Heian Period IchiHime, well, it’s a bit of stretch, but I couldn’t really fit donuts in here since the timeline between them and the introduction of ice cream and the current timeline would’ve made one/two of these lives tragically short without even factoring in Soul Society—nothing wrong with tragedy, but not for this post, haha. So I went with small Chinese cakes ‘cause they’re a sweet? And they’d definitely be a very rare and special treat, so… idk.

Shinigami IchiHime’s also a bit of a stretch? You’d think I’d have the easiest time with being a teacher sometime in history, but I ended up sticking it here, and I was adamant I wanted to draw them in their academy days. So, you’ve got Orihime teaching Ichigo some kido techniques or something, idk. Maybe there’s also a kido equivalent to the dummy Hollow thing? And Orihime has a similar/equivalent position to Shuuhei for that? Idk, am just spitballing here to justify myself even though I know I don’t have to.

Then finally, we got Edo Period IchiHime, with Ichigo introducing ice cream to Orihime for the first time ever. And then of course, I shouldn’t have to explain the last one, haha.

Oh, God, I have so much to catch up on… which I will do later. And hey, since my scheduled posts are all up, I guess I’ll just use my queue to reblog posts I’ve missed since Ik I definitely will be reblogging a lot—don’t wanna bombard you with a ton of posts, aha. I will be making them daily instead of weekly, though, so that I’m not stashing them for too long. Starting tomorrow.

[blu3-j]

Hey There! Can I request a Home X Reader please? Like reader is housesitting for Wally?

Knock, Knock, Knocking On My Heart

Home x Puppet! Reader

TW: Small tense scene

Hello, hello, hello, there! Oh, absolutely, you can!! I'm so excited! I've never written for Home before besides headcanons! So new, so exciting!

Oh! Also! New announcement!! I now have interwebs access at my humble abode! This will make putting these up on here much easier. In the meantime, I hope this fanfic will appease you all!

Thump!

You set the last heavy box in the trunk and closed it with a thud. You listened to the hushed voice of Wally comforting Home as you grabbed up his small bag and placed it in the backseat of his car. It was almost never used, as nobody---Wally and yourself included---really had any reason to leave the neighborhood. His car was bright red like a newly ripe apple, and so clean and shiny from not being used you had to keep from looking at many parts of the exterior so you wouldn't go momentarily blind. Today, however, was a special occasion for Wally to finally use it.

Wally had told you him and a few of the other neighbors---Barnaby, Julie, and Frank---would be leaving on a few days trip. Due to Home being alive and Wally caring deeply for his companion building, asked you to watch over them while they were gone. Wally had never specified what the trip was, only making small mention of a convention of some kind and something about fans.

"A convention about fans?" You asked him. "My, why would anyone need to hold a convention about fans? You can just buy them at the Bugdega. Are there really people that like fans that much?" Barnaby laughed, putting his paw on your shoulder, which ended up being more on most of your arm with your size difference.

"But Teacup, it's more than just fans. It's A/Cs, it's freezers, it's---" Barnaby was interrupted by Wally's monotone robotic laugh.

"Oh, Y/N, it's something you'll learn about soon. You're just not ready yet. Maybe we'll take you and show you next time what we really mean." You quirked an eyebrow at your fellow puppet friend. You could never tell what thoughts or knowledge were behind those unchanging eyes of his. Barnaby always knew, though. Plenty of times were had where you wished you could do the same. Kind of like now.

"Oh, Home, it's okay. I'll only be gone for a few days. Y/N will be here to keep you company until I get back. And some of the other neighbors will still be here, too." You turned to face Wally and patiently watched him pat Home's side as the latter continued to protest and whine through their creaks and knocks.

"Wally," You called out to him. Wally paused his hushed comforts to Home, but continued to stare up at it. You noticed in the corner of your eye Home's gaze turned to you. "Wally, it's all packed up. Ready to go whenever you want." Wally patted Home once more and upon meeting Home's gaze, nuzzled his face against Home's wall. Home creaked once more. It was hard not to notice the distinct shattering sound from somewhere inside, but Wally ignored it.

"Oh, Home," Wally cooed. "It's okay. I'll be back soon. I have to go now. Goodbye, Home. I love you." The two of you watched Wally walk away and get in his car. He adjusted the rear view mirror and his smile grew wider upon seeing the two of you. That was the last of him you saw for the next few days as he drove off into the horizon.

Feeling a knot twist up in your stuffing for the old building, you patted Home's side as they stared off where Wally once was. "It's okay, Home." You called out to the building. "He'll be back before you know it." Yet Home's longing stare never left that road. You racked through your felt head for ideas on comforting Home, until finally...

"Aha!" Your yelp finally drug Home's eyes away from the road and down to your small figure. "I know, maybe we can make something for Wally when he gets back! What do you think, Home?" You turned back up to Home and waited. They only stared back. You were beginning to become unsure of your idea working when you heard the faintest creak from the building. You quirked your eyebrow and tilted your head.

Oh, right. You can't understand Home.

It was strange to you. Everyone else in the neighborhood could understand Home to some degree, but for you---as the newest resident only having moved in a month ago---had no idea what Home was ever saying. Usually whenever Home would talk to you, another one of your neighbors would be there to translate. Wally was often the one to most often translate for you due to the two of you being best friends and Barnaby would be the one to translate when Wally wasn't there (which you recall only happening once.) You, Wally, and Barnaby were an unbreakable trio, but now there was just one of the three here: you. With no one to help you understand.

This is going to be a problem.

Home was quick to notice your expression and rolled their eyes. Faintly, the ringing of a phone was inside. Home opened the door for you, and you walked in.

The inside was painted in warm colors and sunlight, and the living room sat as it usually did. With chairs in various colors and shapes and paintings and photos of your friends, Home, and other parts of the neighborhood lining the walls. Memorabilia from the neighborhood’s past adventures sat neatly placed upon a shelf, right beside Wally’s only apple—a fake one Barnaby had secretly replaced when the old one got rotten. You had been sworn to secrecy to never tell the third person of your trio. A small canvas in the corner of your eye caught your attention. You barely noticed it hanging in the corner of a wall, but painted on it was you. Laughing away under a bright colored tree on a warm spring morning. Dirt, grass, and flowers adorned your hair, almost forming a crown upon your dainty head.

"Stay still..." Wally hummed away a tune as he painted on the canvas. You did your best to keep your form as still as it could possibly be. You were sitting under his favorite tree, admiring the sky's clouds to take your mind off of being a muse.

It was quite flattering when the shorter puppet had asked you to be as such. The others nearby encouraged you to take the offer, telling you how great of a muse you would be and how well Wally painted. It wasn't uncommon to the others for Wally to paint them from time to time, and soon enough it would be a common occurrence to you and you'd get used to it. So you did.

Wally's canvas faced towards Home and Barnaby so they could watch the two of you. Barnaby noticed how stiff you were, and decided to begin making jokes. Sarcastic jokes, puns, improv, one liners, everything he knew to get you to laugh. At first Home had scolded him---at least according to Wally---and reminded him how difficult it can be to stay still when you want to laugh. But within the next few minutes, you heard squeaks and creaks from the house and monotone laughter from Wally.

Yet you remained strong. You needed to be still for Wally's painting, after all. But Barnaby continued, pushing even further to make you laugh. It started as a sweet rush, then a bubble, then restrained giggles, until finally you couldn't take it anymore. You broke out in laughter and brought a hand up to stifle it. But---uh oh---!

"Wha---Oof!"

Your body tipped over. Your only support was the very same hand you used to cover your smile and giggles. The others broke out in full uncontrollable laughter. You felt your face go hot. There you were with your new neighbors and friends, laying on the ground from making the dumb decision of using the wrong hand, now with smudges of dirt across your clothes and face along with grass stains. Your head tipped down as your entire face began to feel warm. Home was the one to stop laughing---you assumed that's what it was---and began talking.

"Oh, you're right, Home." Wally responded after his laughter had died down. Barnaby quieted his own laughter to listen as well and things went quiet. You refused to look up at them. How could you? You just made a fool of yourself! You pushed strands of hair out of your face and began smoothing out the wrinkles in your clothing. Maybe you can brush it off like it was nothing. Maybe you can still recover and make it seem like it was on purpose so you won’t look like an idiot. Maybe---

A blue furry hand caught your eye. Barnaby and Wally stood over you. Barnaby was offering you his hand, while Wally held some cleaning wipes.

"You okay there, Teacup? Didn't fall too hard and stop working that head of yours, right?" Barnaby smiled his usual lazy goofy smile down at you. You stammered for an answer, and your face flushed even hotter. After a moment, you reached for his hand, and he pulled you up as if you were light as a feather. Before you could process what was happening, a wet wipe was smudged across your face. It tickled. Your larger friend ruffled your hair and made a few small jokes.

You couldn't help your laughter. It bubbled out of you before you could even stop it. Home was the first to laugh alongside you. Then Barnaby, and finally Wally.

It was such a sunny warm day. The perfect day to laugh with your best friends.

It wasn't uncommon for you to have ever been in Home, but it felt...empty without Wally or Barnaby by your side. Like it had a spark, but it was just a spark on the outside. With no optimism or energy or motivation behind it. It was just a shiny light.

The red phone on the side table continued to ring.

You picked up the receiver and brought it to your ear. Which of your neighbors was calling?

"Yes. I think that'd be a great idea, Y/N." A whisper slithered from the other side.

Your breath hitched. "Who..." You paused. A little twist formed in your stuffing.

It made you feel sick.

"Who is this?" Another pause, but from the other side of the line. Then that same whispering voice.

"Home." The windows turned to eyes to look down at you. In this neighborhood, despite being short, you had never felt small. This was the first time. But the feeling dissipated as soon as it formed.

"Oh, Home!" You chirped. "I didn't know you could do this! That's so cool! I can understand you now!" Your cheeks flushed warm as you noticed the stare of Home. "I'm sorry I couldn't before." Another pause.

The silence was deafening.

"It's okay. You'll learn." Yet another pause. But this time the air felt lighter. Home’s stare wasn’t boring into you as much anymore. That’s right. Home isn’t a threat to you. "What about a painting?"

You nodded and skipped over to a cabinet. Inside were Wally's paints and paintbrushes, and stored in a nearby dresser were his canvases. You quickly set two canvases up for the two of you before a thought occurred to you. So, you put the receiver back to your ear and called to Home.

"How will you be able to paint on the canvas?" There was no answer, only silence. Then a small tap on your shoulder. You bolted around, expecting some figure to be lurking behind you—but instead finding something much more peculiar. A curtain reached out to you as if it were an arm, and the end was balled up to act as a hand. You looked to the other curtain, and in its other make-shift hand was a brush. You gawked at the sight, and Home creaked in a rhythmic tone. It echoed through the walls and halls, and you heard that same whisper laughing through the phone.

"I can do so much more than you think." The voice echoed, a bit less monotone now.

And that was the start of your friendship with Home. Before you had always seen Home as another neighbor, but there was a solid wall between the two of you to keep you from getting closer. And now that wall was demolished. Over the course of the next few days, Home had taught you some basic "building language", the two of you had created many things and done so many activities together, and had conversations that lasted for hours at a time.

The first night you had stayed there, Home had reassured your fears of the dark and monsters in the halls, and talked with you about meaningless things throughout the night until you fell asleep. The second night Home had told you stories of the neighborhood and of a world long ago—long before you even existed, you were sure. The third night you fell asleep with no problems. You were safe with Home. You knew that by now.

You had found Home had many stories to tell, and was much more friendly and wonderful to get to know than you had first realized. With Home, you never had to worry about making a fool of yourself. With Home, you could be yourself completely, and they adored it. They adored you, just as much as you adored them.

By the time Wally, Barnaby, Julie, and Frank came back there was something different between the two of you. The spark that seemed to leave with the others was back stronger than ever shared between you and the colorful building. Stronger than any spark you had with everyone else. More bright, more colorful, more meaningful. You two were inseparable. Well…metaphorically speaking, that is.

Who knew a random average puppet like you would mean so much to a living building? And who knew an average building like Home would mean so much to a wonderful puppet?

[eventuallyaugust]

matchmaker ep. 2: the chaos within us

now playing... clean bandit - rather be (feat. jess glynne)

hyunseol is running away from karina who was chasing her with an apple pie on her hand in a huge grass field. she stops for a moment to catch her breath while maintaining a good distance away from the shorter idol, pointing a finger at the latter. "don't you dare throw that pie to me, rina."

"and what if i do dare?", karina challenges as she smirks with a tilt of her head before she starts chasing hyunseol who immediately dashed away to avoid a cruel fate from the sm idol.

just then, karina's voiceover starts playing as the video of the two idols running in the background, both still having fun. "love gives us that rush of excitement whenever we're around our special someone. often times, it'll be the only reason why we smile so much our cheeks start to hurt or why there is a sudden urge to let out a scream just to let out that overflowing unexplainable happiness filling your chest."

then hyunseol's voiceover plays as the two idols who were previously running away from each other are now laying on the grass with the pie smudged on their faces and some pieces fall on their clothes while they share laughter on the conversation they're having without a care on the mess on their clothes. "love motivates us to enter a relationship due to all the experiences other people have and that pushes us to wish for something like that, but that shouldn't be the reason. it should never be. we should only enter a relationship because we love the person, not the idea of them doing romantic things for us."

"because if you do, then that's not love anymore and you're not loving them for them", the voiceover of both idols then harmonize as hyunseol wipes the piece of pie away from the corner of karina's lips. they share a smile, their eyes disappearing from their cheeks as the bighit idol cups the aespa member's face in her hands.

cut.

the camera turns on and shows karina immediately leaning forward. her eyebrows wiggle as she has a smile forming over her lips before she giggles and waves at the camera. "helloo, helloo, everyone~"

her manager, wheein throws the idol a quick look and focuses back on the road while she smiles at the sight of the idol. "rina-yah, i didn't get to ask this the last time, but how was your first date with hyunseol?"

the sm idol leans against her seat and throws her manager a look before she falls in her thoughts as several moments of her and hyunseol flash in her mind. a smile then appears over her face and her eyes meet the camera before she looks away and looks at her manager, still smiling.

caption: i'd say it was good date, manager unnie. if karina's smile wasn't obvious enough

"it was good, unnie. i had so much fun with her, so i'm really looking forward to this second date."

"good." the manager nods and steps on the brake before turning to the idol with a smile. "here we are, good luck on your date."

caption: i'm surprised manager wheein didn't tease karina like manager yongsun did to hyunseol in the 1st ep

karina nods and bids her manager goodbye with a hug before she hops out of the car and waves the latter off as wheein drives away. she then turns to the huge establishment behind her.

a cameraman then catches her arrival and karina winks at the camera that shakes after, making the sm idol giggle. the idol then looks around and spots hyunseol's tall figure amidst the huge crowd that formed around her and the production team.

the aespa member immediately makes a beeline towards them and when the txt member spots her, she receives a wide smile from the taller idol before she sees the bighit idol approaching her while announcing, "please make way for my girlfriend, thank you very much."

caption: seol already making her claim on karina and it's making me swoon

"why are you telling them i'm your girlfriend? you haven't popped the question to me yet." karina tilts her head as she looks up to hyunseol with a raised brow while the latter looks down at her with the most teasing smirk the sm idol has ever seen. "wipe that smirk off your face, your charms will not work for me."

hyunseol gently bumps into karina and playfully rolls her eyes while not even trying to fight off a smile. "bold of you to assume i'm using my charms to you right now."

"aren't your name oh hyunseol?"

the bighit idol throws the sm idol a look, blinking. "yeah, what about it, princess?"

"then you wouldn't be oh hyunseol without your famous charm." the crowd around the couple let out out a bunch of "oh's" and their synced reaction make hyunseol laugh. "see? even the crowd knows."

"okay, my bad, princess, but you should know that this so-called charm of mine is only for you."

"matchz for life!"

the couple looks where the shout came from and sees someone holding a huge sign that contains an edited picture of karina and hyunseol in a mirror selca. if anyone will look at the picture, they will think that the picture is real because like the bighit idol, she blinks several times and thinks if she already took a selca with karina or not.

hyunseol squints and examines the picture before smirking and pointing at the sign. "you guys are insane for editing me and karina together, but i must say, that picture looks good. you almost had me fool, man."

the crowd cheers, the couple basking in the attention before karina wraps an arm around the taller idol and looks up at the latter as she surprises hyunseol by saying, "why can we just give them a picture together so they don't have to break a sweat editing us together?"

the bighit idol looks down and smiles as she gently boops karina's nose. "sure. i'm a-okay with anything you want, babe."

the crowd squeals and hyunseol's eyes widen at the sudden loudness before she laughs it off and wraps an arm around karina's shoulders that earned louder squeals from earlier. the sm idol knows what the former is doing and immediately lays her head on the taller idol's arm, gaining another wave of screams from the audience.

the couple looks at one another and laughs while looking away before hyunseol wipes a tear away with a big smile and gently lays her head against karina. "you guys are so down bad for us interacting, huh?"

immediately, they receive a loud "yes" and the taller idol nods as she kisses the crown of karina's head, another cue for screams before she faces the crowd. "we will drop some pictures, but it will probably be posted after the matchmaker ends. can you guys still hold onto some edited pics of me and karina?"

"hell yeah!" "we're willing to wait for the pictures!"

hyunseol throws the camera a quick look with slightly widened eyes due to the fans' profanity before smiling it off. "alright, thank you for being a good sport, everyone!"

[some explanations will be provided in the behind-the-scenes (which will not be posted until every matchmaker ep is finished)]

hyunseol and karina share a look before turning to the producer with a matching nervous smile. the bighit idol starts the conversation while scratching her nape. "heyyy, gong pd-nim."

"what's up?", karina continues while nervously chuckling.

"everything that has happened is my fault, pd-nim, and... and—", hyunseol immediately starts off, giving karina no time to think about the words she needs to say.

the sm idol whips her head at the taller idol in disbelief and says, "what— no! it's my fault!" before she turns the producer and approaches him while pointing at herself. "i suggested the idea, so it's should be my fault, not hyunseol's. it's mine."

hyunseol looks down at karina with a shake of her head. "but i'm the one who urged you to do it, so it is—"

caption: karina and hyunseol are both really going head-to-head on who's more greenflag than the other

"settle down, you two. whatever you guys did on the first day is excused, so now it's okay. we're okay." the producer waves his hands dismissively with a smile. "all of you guys caught great footages, although i don't highly advise you two on ditching us again. next time, just tell me if you guys want to be left alone. i'm sure the production team and i can improvise if you just told us, you know?"

caption: gong pd-nim really said matchz privileges ‼️

"... really?", karina asks. hyunseol throws sm idol a look and smiles at the camera before raising her eyebrows in a brief manner.

caption: why are you looking at us like that, hyunseol?? are you planning something again that we are totally on-board??

"yes, now let's start today's date, shall we?" the two idols nod as their hands immediately find each other and they look around the area, seeing different rides to go to and games to play.

"so where should we go first?", the couple asks in unison as they look at one another and realizes their unintentional synchronization, making both of them giggle.

caption: they're so in sync with one another their brains are thinking of the same things

"okay, okay, you first. what ride or game should we try first? i'm down with anything." karina starts to look around as she falls in deep thoughts, weighing her options before she looks at hyunseol and the latter's smile widens even more. "yes, princess?"

"i want to try that one." hyunseol squints to the direction where the aespa member last looked and sees the milk bottle pyramid booth before looking back at karina with a nod while smiling.

"sure thing, princess. lead the way." the crowd around them gives them a way and the couple bows, thanking the people as the audience surrounds them but still gives the space the idols need.

"come in, everyone! knock them all over and win a prize your heart desires!", the barker exclaims with the wide smile on his lips before he notices karina and hyunseol approaching and motions them to his booth. "would you like to try?"

karina immediately steps forward as hyunseol follows behind, eyeing the milk bottles in silence. the sm idol pays for five softballs and the bighit idol immediately steps forward with a smile while saying, "hey, let me carry those balls so you can concentrate on winning, princess."

the aespa member gives the balls to hyunseol without hesitation, not thinking too much about the request since the word gentlewoman always has been the txt member's middle name. the camera pans to karina holding one softball and hyunseol steps away a bit to examine the balls in her hold.

the bighit idol casually holds three balls with one arm while she weighs one softball in her other hand, looking very deep in thoughts. she then blinks, shakes her head slightly, and looks away as she subtly glares at the barker behind the camera.

the bighit idol steps forward and stands beside karina who turned to her and grabbed another softball, throwing it but failed to reach the stacked bottles. the sm idol pouts and grabs another ball before throwing it and hitting a bottle but none of them fall as hyunseol's stare on the bottles hardens.

in frustration, karina grabs the remaining balls and starts to throw it without a care as hyunseol averts her eyes to look at the shorter idol, seeing the frown forming over the latter's face. the bighit idol immediately wraps an arm around karina's waist and successfully catches the latter's attention, seeing a pout on the aespa's lips.

hyunseol smiles as she gently pokes the 5'6 foot idol's cheek, tilting her head. "aw, my baby is frustrated?"

karina's pout deepens as she nods and the txt member smiles wider, softly squishing the shorter idol's cheeks while baby-talking to the former. "aww, do you want me to win you a prize?"

caption: an amusement park date isn't complete if one doesn't try to win their gf a stuffed toy

"yes, please." the txt member nods and turns to the barker, handing him money with a clenched jaw and a small glare.

"one game, please." the taller idol sees the barker gulp and smirks slightly as she removes her arm from karina's waist and grabs the balls from the man. in one swift motion, she throws the softballs with the bottles getting hit with each throw as a scowl starts to form on the aespa member's face, getting suspicious with each second passing by.

"hey, those bottles should be downed by now since hyunseol always hit them, but why are they still standing?"

"it's because the game is rigged." the sm idol throws her partner a look and sees the latter's eyes trained on the barker. "it's either the softball is too light to throw or the bottles are filled with lead or something along those lines, so no matter hard someone tries to throw the balls or hit the bottles, no win is guaranteed."

"h-how did you—"

hyunseol immediately cuts the man off with a sharp glare. "it's not my first time playing your milk bottle pyramid game, mister. and also, this isn't the first time you get called out for it. some former customers of yours did this years ago and you got humiliated that your booth remained vacant, so i'm surprised to see you here again."

karina starts off, "it's still unfair to treat your customers like this, you know—"

the barker glares at karina and snarls. "don't talk to me as if—"

"maybe that's why fate hasn't been so kind to you. you have been treating people with unfairly and unkindly, so you received the same treatment. also, don't disrespect my girl right here. she's just pointing out the wrong things you've done since you decided to neglect it", hyunseol states as she keeps a small staring contest with the barker.

caption: people fr be needing to change because what is this behavior, sir??

hyunseol then turns to karina with a soft smile and offers her arm to the latter. "come on, babe. let's just find another game to play."

the couple immediately walks away with matching shakes of their heads and before any of the pair could say anything, hyunseol feels a strong force coming their way with her guts warning her and immediately grabs ahold of karina's elbow before accidentally pulling the latter and making the aespa member fall in her arms.

the txt member plays it off by smiling down at karina and winking, maintaining her cool. "sorry for that, princess. i thought i saw a bug in your hair, but it seems like i'm wrong, so i'm sorry."

"it's okay—"

"ack!" both idols turn to look and let out a gasp, seeing one of the two cameraman being hit by the glass from the broken camera lens. hyunseol assesses the situation as she asks in worry, "what's happened?"

dong pd-nim states with a grim expression, "a tennis ball hit the camera lens and they shattered. we lost one camera to use, but that's the least of our problems now. our cameraman needs medical attention quickly." he then takes the broken camera away from the cameraman and hyunseol immediately crouches in front of the staff, closely examining his face and his hands that were both bleeding out from the small lenses. "how is he, hyunseol?"

"he needs to get rushed to the hospital immediately. i'm not sure if there are still broken lenses on his face, or worse, his eyes." hyunseol then meets the producer's eyes with a nod and throws her manager a look. "call an ambulance, unnie. let's not take a chance when it comes to his well-being."

the txt member then looks around the area and meets several concerned passersby looking over the injured staff before her eyes catch a man smirking at her and immediately turn away when she caught a camera towards her, fear and worry both accumulating her chest. she clenches her hand into a fist, trying not to show the worry on her face but she didn't know if she succeeded.

an ambulance immediately arrives and takes the injured staff before the clip gets cut to hyunseol looking at the area where the cameraman once stood with a clenched jaw. the bighit idol looks away and looks over the shorter idol, seeing the unreadable expression over the latter's face.

"i hope he's okay...", karina mutters in a whisper, still shocked at the quick turn of the events. the bighit idol looks away and looks over the shorter idol and sees the unreadable expression over the latter's face. hyunseol notices her behavior, approaching the short idol before the aespa member then senses the taller idol's presence beside her and looks up at the latter. "yes, seol?"

"he's going to be fine, okay? he's in the hospital now, let's just offer a prayer and support for his recovery." karina nods, her eyes spotting a small spot of blood on the concrete and she doesn't know if hyunseol also spots the dried ichor on the ground or not. "penny for your thoughts?"

karina suddenly looks up at hyunseol who jerked her head back, getting surprised by the former and tilts her head at the latter. "wait... a tennis ball shattered the camera lens, right?"

"yeah?", the txt member answers, her eyes darting between her and the camera without any thought in her mind.

"and that cameraman was filming me, right?" hyunseol nods and sees karina's eyes meeting hers in realization with the former still pretending not to know for the sake of her past to remain six feet under the ground, where it should be. "then... that tennis ball was for me, but the cameraman got hit instead because you pulled me away from where i was standing."

caption: whoever throw that ball needs to get arrested asap because what do you have against my precious rina??

"what?", hyunseol asks in disbelief while chuckling as she shoots the producer a quick look, her eyes lowkey asking for help from the latter before immediately looking back to karina like nothing happened. "i was just missing your warmth against my arms, but i didn't think something like this will happen. it must be some kind of accident, you know. i just saw—"

"then how can—"

gong pd-nim immediately separates the couple with his hands on their shoulders, tension hanging in the air between the two. "settle down, lovebirds. i'm sure it's an accident, because if it isn't, then i'll sue whoever did it. i just lost one of my best cameramen and an expensive equipment. i won't let that slide, but since there'll be no one who will admit who did it, then i have no choice but to just forgive and move forward."

"okay, maybe you're right", karina says in defeat as she pouts. hyunseol sees a forming frown on the woman's face as guilt starts to shape inside her chest and immediately looks around for anything that could cheer the sm idol up before spotting something and running away. karina's pouts deepens at the taller idol's sudden absence and out of nowhere, she hears the bighit idol shout, "hey, rina-yah!"

the aespa member turns her head to see hyunseol walking up to her with the biggest smile on her face while holding up two cotton candies, one is color blue and the other is pink. "what do you want?"

"but what about you?", karina asks, perplexed.

hyunseol stands firm, holding out the cotton candies. "but you choose first."

"but—"

"pretty please?", hyunseol asks while pouting and using her infamous puppy eyes along with her baby voice which she usually uses to huening kai but desperate times call for desperate measures (she isn't the type of person to be desperate but at this moment? she's ready to pull any string she has to console and comfort and distract karina). "could you pretty please pick first, my gorgeous wonderful beautiful pretty princess?"

caption: seol really using everything at her disposal to make karina cave in

"fine. hm... i can't choose", karina states with a small pout and meets hyunseol's eyes, looking up at her innocently. "maybe i can just choose your lips over these two, right? bet your lips taste better than these cotton candies."

the bighit idol smirks with a shake of her head and immediately holds the cotton candies away from her face with a snicker. "i mean, if you'd like to, i can just let you taste my lips to prove your hypothesis, because the question is..."

she leans closer to the sm idol with her height towering over the latter, her warm breath ghosting over the aespa member's lips. "do you think you can handle the taste of my lips against your own?"

caption: ayo, i think it's our time to go and hit that fast forward button because who am i to deny our parents who are in need of some alone time, am i right? 😉😏

they then both throw the camera knowing looks with matching smirks plastered over their faces before they look back at one another, their eyes staring right each other. karina immediately lands a kiss on hyunseol's cheek before the latter could even step away and the taller idol freezes, her mind malfunctioning for a moment. the bighit idol turns her head away with a blush adorning her face as she uses the cotton candies to hide the forming smile on her lips, her eyes darting everywhere but never meeting karina's.

the aespa member giggles and takes the pink cotton candy from the txt member, taking a small bite of the sweet treat. hanging her head low, hyunseol takes a small bite of her blue cotton candy as she tries not to look at the camera and the shorter idol, thinking that her heart might not be able to handle the bubbling emotion settling in the pit of her stomach.

"let me have a taste, baby", karina whispers as she pouts when hyunseol decided it's safe to look at the sm idol before the latter looked away in panic, the color red starting to paint her ears and her cheeks.

caption: what's going on?! why is seol getting flustered instead of karina??

"pretty please?" with a blank expression (trying to contain her raging heartbeats inside her chest), hyunseol takes a small pinch of her cotton candy and holds the sweet treat out to karina's lips, her eyes trained on the latter. the aespa member takes the cotton candy in her mouth and meets her eyes, flashing the latter a mischievous smirk. before the taller idol could take her hand away, she feels something damp against her fingers and her eyes widen, instinctively taking several steps away from the sm idol while throwing her a bewildered look.

the txt member feels her face grow warmer, warmer than her whole body. she now wonders if she has more blood on her face than flowing to the rest of her body considering her feet and arms feel a bit numb now. hyunseol catches the camera focused on her and immediately hangs her head low, trying not to look back at it. karina keeps her eyes trained on the bighit idol and giggles, approaching the latter.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i was just trying to see if you're going to be flustered by that, but now i have my answer", karina apologizes. "i'm sorry, baby. you can do it to me too if you want. i won't be mad at you."

hyunseol throws karina a questioning look, her voice cracking a bit. "what do you mean you want to see if i'm going to be flustered by that?! you're a woman, karina and you should know what a woman can do to me!"

karina blinks, muttering, "what?"

"what do you mean what? have you been looking at yourself in front of the mirror lately? because don't tell me you aren't aware of the effect pretty and wonderful girls like you on me. i can forgive you for being devious but for being oblivious? girl, there's no cure for that." the bighit idol then stops talking as she observes the aespa member to see a blush forming on her face before she smirks at the latter. "aw, is karina getting flustered because i called her pretty?"

"s-shut up."

"make me." suddenly, karina smacks her partially-eaten cotton candy against hyunseol's lips and the latter flinches in surprise. they meet each other's eyes with silence reigning between them for a moment before they burst out in laughter as they turn away from one another, their loud laughs filling up the previous silence. the aespa member lays her hands against her cheeks, feeling the warmth radiating from the soft skin. "i-i'm sorry, i don't know what came over me and it wasn't my intention to do that to you. i'm sorry, i'm sorry."

caption: if i had friends like this two, i feel like there'll be no dull times with them around

the taller idol gently pats the other idol's head. "it's okay, rina. it's okay. it was funny, don't worry. if i only knew that you're so fun to be around beforehand, i'd talk to you sooner than we did."

karina could feel her heart melt a little. "really?"

"yeah, funny, outgoing, has a sense of humor that i can get along with, and many more. i hope you can see that you're all of those things. only fools would not notice things like that and i'm glad i'm not a fool because it's a shame not to know someone like you."

karina smiles, ignoring how hard her heart pounds against her chest. "thank you, i never realized i was all of those things until now."

hyunseol smiles back and looks around, noticing several people watching them with phones directed at them. "well, i'm glad i made you realize some things because anyone is fortunate to have someone considerate and attentive like you. always remember that, okay?"

karina nods as she smiles wider and looks down to see the txt member interlocking the latter's fingers with hers before she looks up to meet the taller idol's warm gaze and feels her face grow warm. "come on, rina. let's continue our date."

caption: matchz, the mother ship of every kpop ship ever to exist

"okay, let's go." the aespa member then spots a shooting game and gently drags the bighit idol to the booth. hyunseol gulps at the sight of the booth when the camera moves away from her face with her hand subconsciously squeezing karina's soft one.

the sm idol throws the the txt member a look to see the underlying panic in the latter's eyes with her face getting pale and worriedly asks, "are you okay?"

"y-yeah, just a bit."

"do you not like the shooting game?"

"well, it's... complicated. it's not the game. it's more like the guns themselves. i don't find those things likeable, even it's just a toy. i'll stop now, sorry about that", the taller idol mutters as she looks away and bites her lip.

"no." hyunseol whips her head toward the shorter idol and finds the latter looking at her with such warmth she wonders how she's not melting in the concrete ground right now. "it's okay, seol. i'm glad that you told me about that. let's just find another game to play, okay?"

"are you—"

"sure?" the bighit idol nods and karina smiles, pressing her palm against the taller idol's soft cheek. "i'm sure of everything when it comes to you. it's a game, so choosing between you and that game, i'll choose you because i got nothing to lose from that game, but...

"on the other hand, everything about you matters. i will always choose you over silly amusement park games. you matter most to me out of the people or games around us. do you understand, seol?" the bighit idol nods again, but this time, she's smiling so wide she could feel her cheeks starting to hurt doing so. "i need words, baby.

the txt member giggles with a nod, "i understand, princess."

"good, keep that up. i'm princess only to you. not rina, karina, or jimin. just princess."

"all right, princess. i'll never do that mistake again, pardon me." hyunseol gives their intertwined hands a squeeze before she lets karina drag her to the basketball booth, her eyes falling on their hands. soon they arrive in front of the booth as the taller idol scrutinizes the six balls and basketball ring that has been nailed on the wall taller than her.

"one game, please." hyunseol snaps out of her observation and looks at karina the same the latter looks at her, making both of then wince in surprise before they share a small smile. the aespa member then grabs a ball and holds it out to the bighit idol with a slightly wider smile. "win me a plushie, please baby?"

the txt member gently grabs the ball from karina and says, "sure thing, princess." the taller idol shoots the ball into the hoop, a small smirk forming over her face when she heard the aespa member gasp and mutter, "that's so cool." she grabs one ball to another, each throw winning a point with no time to waste until she had none left. the booth handler then claps the bighit idol and grabs two matching penguin plushies hanging from the ceiling of his booth before giving it to them.

"uhm..." karina and hyunseol share a look before their eyes avert to the plushies, uncertainty laced in their voices. both of them couldn't gain the courage to tell the man since the moral and child in them are fighting what to say.

the barker notices and flashes them a smile with a small shake of his head. "it's okay, you can have two plushies. it's my way to say to say you guys look together. also, you two remind me of my wife and i, two different persons yet there's so much similarities between us."

"if you don't mind me asking, how long have you guys been together?", hyunseol politely asks and she grabs the plushies from the man with a bow, giving one to karina who started petting her plushie on the head. the couple keeps their attention on the man talk, seeing the expression over his face.

the man answers with the smile, "18 years and we're still happy, just like the first time we fell in love with one another. we're aware that everything takes time, and of course, the fights. those aren't inevitable when it comes to relationships."

"another question, what advice can you give us if there's a fight between a couple?", karina asks, still brushing her fingers against her plushie's soft fabric.

"well...", the man trails off as his gaze falls on hyunseol before averting to karina with his smile growing wider as if he knows something the couple doesn't, but the taller idol shrugs it off as she adjusts her hold on her plushie. "there will be always an argument no matter how long you have been together, so learning how to communicate is a must between the two parties. it may sound simple to others, but some find it hard to tell their feelings to their partner and that's where the problem grows bigger. you don't need to use big words to convey your emotions; you just need to be honest."

caption: he knows what's up with matchz, HE SEES WHAT WE SEE

hyunseol nods while karina throws the former a glance before looking back at the man to see him smiling at her. the sm idol gulps and the man bows while saying. "i need to tend the other customers now, but i hope you guys have fun with whatever the amusement park can offer to you.

"of course, of course. thank you for the plushies." the couple bows in exact ninety-degree.

the man waves his hand dismissively. "no, don't thank me. you two deserve those plushies."

"okay, bye-bye, mister!", hyunseol exclaims as she uses her penguin plushie's hand to wave and karina copies the gesture, a big smile on her lips before the man waves back, matching their smiles. "he's such a cool man, right?"

"yeah", is the aespa member's only response as she feels her heart race, remembering that the man saw something between her and the txt member. she then starts to look around the place to distract herself before she feels an arm snake around her waist and turns to the side, meeting hyunseol's eyes.

"let's ride the ferris wheel."

karina immediately grows worried. "are you sure—"

"yes, now come on, princess. i want to see the view from the top."

----

"how come you aren't as pale as you were from our namsan tower date?"

hyunseol plays with her plushie as she answers, "i'm not entirely afraid of the heights. what i'm afraid of is the sudden urges of me jumping from a high place. i might not be able to contain myself and jump, but in this, i'm not afraid since we're inside a passenger pod."

"that makes sense." karina then throws the taller idol the same time the latter looks at her, making the aespa member look away with pink dusting her cheeks. hyunseol keeps her eyes on the shorter idol and giggles at the reaction.

"do you need something, princess?"

"w-well...", the sm idol's voice weakens as her fingers find her plushie's arms to play with, refusing to make any eye-contact with the taller idol. "i just want to ask what you think of the man and what he said earlier."

"what he said about couple fight, right?" karina nods. "well, first of all, he reminds me of my grandfather. they're so chill and unbothered, but you can see that he cares for his family, especially the way his face looks when he said that they've been married for 18 years. if you ask me, i want to have that kind of future with someone."

karina's ears perk at hyunseol's last statement and looks at the latter', seeing a smile on the bighit idol's lips. "really?"

"yeah, it might be a long time for me to settle down, but i look forward to that kind of life for my older version of myself because i witnessed the life my grandfather has with his wife, so it made me imagine myself living that kind of life."

"do..." hyunseol averts her eyes from the view outside of the passenger cabin to karina who has still her eyes focused on playing with the plushie on the latter's lap. "do you already have someone in your mind to spend your life with?"

the txt member opens her mouth but no words come out and slowly closing them, her eyes darting away from karina's figure before throwing the camera a quick look and looking back to the shorter idol.

caption: why did air turn so serious all of a sudden?

"well, at this moment, maybe. it's still uncertain, but maybe soon i can confirm my feelings. for now, my answer is maybe. sorry if i can't give you a precise answer."

karina nods and responds, "that's okay, i understand. i'm sorry i asked you something so absurd and invasive."

the txt member looks down and reaches out to karina's hand, intertwining her hand with the latter as she sees the latter's fingers twitch in surprise before they relax as they curl against her hand, making a small smile appear on hyunseol's lips.

"it's okay, princess. it's water under the bridge. don't worry, your question made me think in a good way. i just... didn't worry about getting in a relationship immediately because i'm too focused on living my life, you know. i mean, i can see myself getting together with someone, but not right away."

caption: you better ask karina out, seol or i will

the txt member then raises their intertwined hands and places a kiss on the back of karina's hand, the latter blushing at the taller idol's soft lips. "w-what was that for?"

"nothing, i just wanted to do that since this morning and well, i only got the courage to do so." hyunseol meets the shorter idol's eyes and softly smiles, seeing the red hue decorate the latter's face. "sorry being so random at times, but i just want to let you know that i'm grateful that i get to spend time with you out of all people. i'll try my best to be fun and enjoyable to be with for you."

karina harshly shakes her head as she places their intertwined hands against her chest, disregarding the hard and rigorous beating of her heart with a hope that the taller idol doesn't feel her heartbeat. "you don't need to do that, i will always enjoy your presence no matter what. you don't even need to do any effort. just you being you is enough for me, seol."

hyunseol lets out a small giggle and looks down, still smiling. "thanks, you have no idea what you just said mean to me. i'm happy that you're enjoying yourself in this date and i appreciate your effort of telling me."

"you're welcome, you deserve to know that you're not the only one who's thankful in this situation. you're worth of everything, seol. i hope you can see that."

"i can see what you mean, thank you."

"uhm..." the couple stops for a moment and turns to see the ferris wheel operator looking at them knowingly with a smirk on his lips before the pair blushes and immediately lets each other's hands go, looking away at the same time. "i didn't want to pop your bubble, but it's time to go, lovebirds."

"a-ah, y-yes, of course." hyunseol motions the exit to karina, her face and her ears still feeling warm. "you first, princess."

the aespa member then stands and hops out of the compartment, hanging her head low to hide her flustered face before the txt member follows suit, not even trying not hide the big smile on her face. hyunseol looks around and immediately stands beside karina once she spotted the strange man earlier several meters away from them.

despite the lack of space between them, karina doesn't turn her head and instinctively reaches out to hold the txt member's hand as the latter gently tightens her hold when they both noticed the forming crowd heading their way.

"please give us space, everyone", hyunseol announces, sounding her voice as stern as possible while discreetly keeping an eye for the strange man. "thank you for the ones who are listening."

"ahhhh, you guys look so good together!"

"yes, yes we are. thank you for noticing." the txt member regards the fan with a nod, making the latter squeal in excitement before the audience follows when karina landed a kiss on the taller idol's cheek. "looks like my princess right here also agrees."

"of course, i agree. i'm pretty and you're gorgeous. only blind people wouldn't see our chemistry", karina states as she reaches out and trails her fingers along hyunseol's face before they stop to the latter's jaw, gently pulling the taller idol closer to her. "you're so pretty it makes me stare."

the txt member then leans a bit closer, the tip of their noses touching as hyunseol smiles, noticing how the karina remains her gaze glued to the taller idol's eyes. "not even a reaction, really?"

karina tilts her head and hyunseol follows, making the former slightly raise a brow. "well, you're oh hyunseol. that's expected coming from you, if i say so myself."

the bighit idol then playfully rolls her eyes still smiling. "of course, it's expected. it seems like i already made a name for myself."

"hm... i think...", karina mumbles and throws the camera a look before she looks back at hyunseol as she moves her eyes, motioning her to look at the camera.

the txt member obeys and winks the camera with a smirk before pulling karina close to her using her free hand. "i think it's time to end this. do you think so, princess?"

"hm... yeah, it's time..."

the taller idol motions for the cameraman to move forward and announces, "this is the end, guys. bye, stay tuned for the next episode—"

karina thinks of an idea and pulls hyunseol by her shirt down to her face, but before their lips could ever get closer, the bighit idol covers the camera lens with her hand.

----

a/n: i feel like this is a downgrade from the 1st ep, but anyways, ep. 3 is next 😍💞💕

----

bbtr & matchmaker taglist (open!!): @curly-fr13s , @neuftaeng , @mightymyo , @yoontoonwhs , @nasyu-kookies , @awkwardtoafault , @osakis-gf , @dream-chasers-things , @woonie57 , @juhyunsthirdwife , @sewiouslyz , @yerevies , @asp-no , @kimsgayness

[mizuha]

What I Meant When I Said "I love you."

夜に駆ける (Racing Into the Night) by YOASOBI - Deep dive

fattest TW for suicide !!!

The song Racing Into the Night by YOASOBI is based on a short story called Seduction of Thanatos. In the story, the people in modern society are said to be governed by either Eros (the desire to live) or Thanatos (the desire to die). The narrator is a man who finds himself in love with a woman of the latter type. On multiple occasions the woman has attempted suicide, going to the roof of the apartment complex where they live and crossing the safety fence. Before she falls, though, she always sends her lover a "goodbye" message and waits patiently for him to arrive. So he finds her on the roof, coaxes her back to the correct side of the fence, and tries his best to continue their everyday lives, until the same cycle happens again.

A rare symptom of being governed by Thanatos is the ability to see the god himself, who appears to the victim as a hallucination of their ideal person, constantly seducing them to their demise. The woman in the story is one of those kinds. Now and then, she would stare into the air, her warm and loving gaze directed at nothing. Her lover hates it when she gets like this. She looks at a hallucination instead of looking at him, and before you know it, she's on the rooftop again.

This reflects the ancient idea of Thanatos being an elusive figure, since normal people governed by Eros cannot see him. The narrator represents Eros, desperately trying to pull his lover back from the clutches of Thanatos. This parallels the philosophical concept of these two opposing forces perpetually vying for control. In essence, this short story/song uses a modern narrative of a suicidal woman to represent the ancient concept of Thanatos. It highlights the seductive nature of the death drive, its conflict with the life drive, and the cyclical nature of its influence. 

Near the end of the story, the tension climaxes when, yet again, the narrator goes to the rooftop to stop the girl from committing suicide. But this time, she refuses to get down. They're both tired of this cycle. They both can't take anymore. They both want it to end. The woman firmly tells him that she wants to die, and he impulsively replies, "I want to die too!" 

Because how can he keep living when his love wants to die? Nothing he says will change her mind. She doesn't have a coat to bear the winter like he does. Can he really ask her keep standing in the cold with him? No. He would rather die than live knowing that she is in constant pain.

Upon hearing that thoughtless sentence from him, for the very first time, she smiles. Looking at her expression, he finally realizes. All he has ever wanted was for her to be happy, and now he's found what will bring that happiness. The woman always messaged and waited for him on the roof, not because she wanted to be stopped, but because she wanted him to come with her. So on this occasion, he is the one who crosses the fence and takes her hand, and with the stars in the sky as their only witnesses, together they race into the night.

To everybody else, though, only one individual fell from the sky. From that apartment complex, it was one person, not two, who tragically took their life. Some may have assumed that the man chose to jump because of workplace abuse or exorbitant debt, but the truth is simple. From the very beginning, he was the one governed by Thanatos, and she was his angel of death.

[jjmbbg]

Father-son's Day

(Disclaimer: John is fourteen years-old)

It had been a while since John joined them, and while the brat —as arthur sometimes called him, to annoy him— didn't really get along with the rest at first, there was something special between him and Hosea.

Maybe it was because he was the first to feed him, or the first to offer him a change of clean, dry clothes after taking him to the town to take a hot shower (something John never had to tell the truth), or because he was the first in going to him when he was hurt or looked noticeably sad.

Whatever it was, John had a certainly different affection for Matthews, and the truth is that neither Arthur, nor Dutch saw themselves capable of discussing it.

Now, on a day like any other, while Arthur was wandering through the forest trying to hunt some animal and Dutch was in the town nearby doing whatever God knows, John was frowning trying to write very long words without spelling mistakes (Hosea scolded him for writing an "E" backwards).

Next to him, the adult was reading a book while he occasionally leafed through what Marston wrote down to corroborate his progress.

— It's with "b", not with "v" —he corrected him, pointing out the third word.

— Shit —John huffed, frowning again.

— Hey, vocabulary, John. Where did you hear those words?

— From Arthur —he murmured, crossing out the word and writing it correctly next to it.— I'm getting bored. Can't we do something else?

— Finish the other words and we'll do something else, okay?

— 'Kay.

John continued writing, and uttering the occasional insult, being scolded for the latter.

— I'll tell Arthur to stop swearing in front of you —Hosea said, or maybe to himself, John wasn't sure, sometimes the older man talked to himself.

— I finished! —he exclaimed happily.

— Well, first I must see if you wrote correctly.

John snorted and crossed his arms, watching every facial expression on Hosea at every word. A few seconds later a smile formed on his lips.

— Just one spelling mistake, you're improving, son —he congratulated him. John smiled too, not believing it.— Well, you said you wanna do something fun? —the young man nodded.— Go get the rods, we will bring the most enormous fish you have ever seen in your life.

If John's smile could get bigger, here it is. Excited, he got up from the chair and ran in search of the canes, even colliding with Arthur, who arrived with some rabbits in his hand.

— I'm sorry! —the minor apologized.

— And what's wrong with the brat now? —Morgan asked him, raising an eyebrow.

— We'll go fishing. And don't call him that.

— The brat's gonna drown.

— From the shore, Arthur. And don't make fun of him, you didn't know how to swim either at his age.

Something that was never lacking in Hosea is that he was always going to defend John from Arthur and vice versa, sometimes they attacked each other and Hosea was the mediator. And with strangers I don't even explain it, even someone gives one of those two a dirty look and that someone would already be dead.

Hosea would do anything for them, for his sons.

— I have them! Come on! —he yelled from the other side of the camp.

Hosea stood up and said goodbye to Morgan with a soft, short nod. He climbed onto his horse and helped John get on, beginning the journey towards the river that was half an hour from the camp.

— Do you think we'll catch something huge?

— We are in good times, surely yes.

— And will we catch many?

— That's the idea —Hosea answered looking at the trees.— Maybe tomorrow we could try to cut down a tree.

— Oh really? —the emotion in Marston's voice was noticeable.— That would be great.

When they reached the river, they positioned themselves to the side with the reeds.

— Hosea... can I ask you something?

— You know you can —he smiled at him.

— Does Arthur hate me?

— He doesn't hate you, John. His way of showing affection is like that.

— He's not mean with you —the boy murmured.— Only with me... and I understand that he doesn't love me, but I don't know... it's different when he makes it clear to me.

— He loves you.

— Has he told you? —he questioned angrily. The silence was enough.— Of course not. I want him to like me, but I don't know how to do it.

— He is a tough nut to crack.

— Arthur is not a nut...

Matthews laughed, he had forgotten that John didn't fully understand metaphors.

— It's a way of saying, I mean it's difficult to get into his heart, but that doesn't make it impossible. Keep insisting.

— It's just... I'm getting tired of insisting —he admitted.

— You'll find out the way, I assure you.

— Okay- Oh! Look! —he shouted when something seemed to grab the bait from his rod.— What do I do?!

— Keep calm first —Hosea said, pulling his rod out of the water. He approached John.— Now, spin the reel slowly... like this... very good John, and now a little faster. Excellent!

— It's huge! —Marston shouted excitedly.— Are we going to take it?

— Sure.

After catching that one, John wanted to stay for hours doing it, catching too many and letting the little ones go. When the sky began to darken, they decided to make the return trip.

While Hosea was telling the horse where to go, he felt John heavier than usual, he turned his head to look over his shoulder and saw him asleep, leaning on his back.

An involuntary smile decorated his lips.

— You had a busy day, mhm —he murmured, more to himself than to John.

[mikithelibrarian]

It Takes Two | Chapter Three - BLACKPINK Jennie - GN! Reader

TW: Mentions of drinking and smoking

Previous part

To say that you were sad was an understatement…

You were frustrated, disappointed and overall let down at your girlfriend’s decision to not accompany you anymore. Not just because now you had to lie to your viewers and come up with a reasonable excuse, but also because, for as long as you’ve been dating, this has been your only request.

You think that what you are feeling is selfish, but was it too much to ask? For her to try to enjoy it just a little bit? Apparently yes, it was too much to ask.

Who were you kidding? This was not her lifestyle, she was more of an extroverted person, she enjoyed going out with her friends, partying with them or just going to a coffee shop, while you, you liked videogames.

So, here you were, just ending stream, looking up to the roof of your studio still sat at your desk, with a juice box in your hand. You were afraid of going into your cellphone and opening social media as you sometimes did after finishing your job. What if your lie wasn’t believable enough? What if people start hating on her?

Just then, your phone started to ring from a corner of your desk. You immediately went to grab it, wanting to return to the calm silence you had.

“Hello?” You said questioningly since you didn’t even bother to look at the caller id.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jisoo’s voice came from the other side of the line.

When Jennie introduced you to the girls, you didn’t expect that in between them you’d find a new best friend in the form of Jisoo. With similar interests, you instantly clicked and began talking more and more, to the point that Jisoo had you in the same esteem in which she held the girls. She knew you and trusted you, the same way you did with her, so you told her what happened, since the beginning.

How excited you were, how happy you were sharing this part of her life with your girlfriend and how that fantasy immediately came crashing down after her words last night. You just vented out to her, like every other time.

“You really need to tell her how you feel” She would always say and this was time was not the exception. Jisoo hated how you hid your feelings from Jennie just because you didn’t want to bother her. You think you don’t deserve Jennie, that an idol dating a streamer was a miracle hanging up on the tiniest of threads, you didn’t want to lose her.

Jisoo however, felt differently, she sometimes thought that it was Jennie who didn’t deserve you, all the while she thought you were kind of stupid. It was a situation in which both of her best friends were in the wrong, but that if she tried to fix it herself, things would result in even worse consequences.

So, after saying your goodbyes to each other and her looking at the lost calls she received while she was playing her game with your stream on the background, she got up to the main door of her home at the incessant ringing that disturbed her.

And there she was, on the other side of the door, someone she just didn’t want to see in this moment, accompanied by other two members of her group.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” Jennie asked with a smile as she made her way into the apartment while the other two followed her, the three of them carrying bags of snacks.

“We wanted to ask you which kind of snack you wanted for this improvised girl’s night” Roseanne said while they left the bags on Jisoo’s living room while the latter closed the door and stared at the three of them.

“It was my idea! It’s been so long since we’ve enjoyed one!” Lisa exclaimed and got comfortable, as the other two were doing.

“But apparently, you aren’t all up for it” Jennie pointed out at Jisoo’s lack of excitement or emotion.

What to do? What to do?

Jisoo debated while she looked at her group members in her living room. She was itching to have a serious talk with Jennie, but she didn’t want to get Lisa or Rosé involved. She could play it safe and bite her tongue or…

“I just got off the phone with (Y/N), they looked off while on stream, did something happen?” She could play it in a way that Jennie admits what she’s done, all the while she could actually look what the second oldest thought of it.

“Oh” Jennie just muttered, while Lisa and Rosé looked at her. “I told them that I didn’t enjoy streaming with them”

“Did (Y/N) actually get sad because of it?” Lisa questioned while Roseanne looked a little bit let down.

“But you looked so cute together!” Rosé exclaimed.

“I know, but I just didn’t like streaming, I didn’t actually expect (Y/N) to be that sad because of it, I’m sure they have more plans on what to do on their streams without me” Jennie answered while scratching her arm.

“Of course (Y/N)’s gonna be sad, this was an opportunity for them to share what they loved with you, and you just said you didn’t like it” Jisoo started to scold Jennie, surprising the three members. “You do know how much (Y/N) has done for you, right? When you two announced you were dating, they moved heaven and earth to try to absorb all the hate just so you didn’t worry about it; when you dragged (Y/N) for some parts of our tour, they withstood their fear of flying while you slept; when you dragged them to parties, they´d try to keep up with you, trying to have your attention to no avail while you just talked with other people and kissed one of your friends in front of them because of a dare!” Lalisa and Roseanne looked at Jennie, waiting for her to start arguing back but she was lost at words, which prompted Jisoo to continue. “And after they told you what you did and how that made them feel, you go and do it again months later, in their birthday! It went up to a point that they actually started to drink in secret trying to at least tolerate alcohol, do you even know that they almost started smoking because some of your friends did and (Y/N) thought you found that mature and interesting?! And the only thing they actually wanted to drag you with them, you just turned around and said you didn’t like it!” Jisoo didn’t intend to blame it on Jennie, because she thought you were also at fault for not talking about what thought, but the heat of the moment made her sound like it.

“H-How did you know?” That was all Jennie had to say.

-

You would have stayed at your studio for the rest of your day, but you thought Jennie was going to come back any minute, so here you were, in the kitchen heating the dinner she left last night.

Lost in your thoughts, wondering what to do to make your viewers forget what happened. They weren’t happy, but at least the weren’t angry at Jennie, they understood just how busy can idol life get and how her job can become hectic from one day to another, at least that’s the excuse you used. The problem laid on how to keep them from asking for Jennie again when she goes on a rest after her next real work period.

Your mind went all around all kinds of ideas, so desperate for a solution that you didn’t notice your girlfriend getting home, up until she hugged you from your back.

You jumped at the touch, but relaxed when that smell of Chanel got to you. “Don’t scare me like that” You smiled at her sudden presence, but she didn’t answer.

You didn’t know where she was, or what she was doing, so you honestly had no idea about the reason for her silence, but you didn’t question it, waiting for her to bring it up.

“I’m heating up yesterday’s dinner” You mentioned, trying to make small talk but with no avail.

“I love you” That sweet whisper made butterflies to fly wild in your stomach, so soft was her tone and so warm was her touch that it made you remember your first ‘I love you’

“And I love you too” Her hug got a little bit tighter without hurting you, just wanting to keep you as close as possible.

“I saw your stream today, I’m sorry if I let you down” She lied, not wanting to mention how Jisoo scolded her earlier. “I’ll try to be a better girlfriend from now on”

Those words got you spinning around to look at her, cupping her face with your hands. “Don’t say that, you are the best girlfriend I could ever ask for” Your thumbs caressed her cheeks as both of your eyes meet. “You don’t have to force yourself”

“Still, I want to be more considerate of you, and share more things with you” She seemed nervous saying that, but that smile of yours was more than enough of a reassurance that she knew you both were alright.

“And I’ll gladly share them with you” You got closer to her, leaning into her as she did the same. “I’d do everything for you”

And as your lips touched, you both conveyed what your feelings were, hoping the other would share them.

Nothing could separate you.

Not even a message notification from your phone.

Next part.

[wings-of-ink]

I don't know, but I like to think my MC would like to be the one taking care of everyone, and does so at any chance he has (my MC is male), but his condition does not allow him to do so as much as he'd like to.

That said, I do see my MC feeling hurt about Oswin (who I'm romancing) not only for the lost friendship, and the unfulfilled pining of his crush (that also must be conflicted with the guilt of loving someone who clearly wants distance and the doubt of what did he do to warrant such change in behavior), but also because he so deeply wanted to take care of Oswin pain. But how could he? Oswin did his best to distance himself, and as much as my MC desired to help him, the only thing he was able to do was to respect this decision to the best of his capabilities.

Of course, my MC is also a swordsman who was scarred by Oswin, so that only complicated things. I do imagine my MC was significantly more worried about Oswin psyche that his own scarring (after all, a part of him probably believes Oswin not only does not love him back, but probably despises him, so what point is there in being handsome?).

This desire to take care of others also meant my MC checks on everyone who accompanies him on the journey. And since he is kind, friendly and hardworking, he is going to make sure not only to befriend everyone, but also make sure they are at their best possible condition. Ironically, everyone is going to be trying to take care of MC.

In part I imagine my MC like this kind of old people who clearly need help, but refuses because they care much more about helping others before themselves.

In any case, I was imagining once MC is cured (hopefully this happens), and he and Oswin marry, MC would try to take all his time to make sure Oswin is well taken care of.

Like, preparing Oswin clothes everyday, and also warming them before he puts them on during the winter. Making sure his side of the bed is warm during cold nights. Always making sure Oswin eats, and things he should eat (in a way he likes, of course). Always perhaps putting little gifts and love letters. Always kisses on the cheeks as a goodbye, even if it they are just going outside. Giving him massages if he is sore for training (although, in this case, I see it being a mutual thing since MC is also a swordsman and, once cured, would not be held back by anything).

But then, I also see Oswin trying to take care of MC in a similar way. Although, in Oswin case, I would argue he is not motivated only by love but also by guilt (even if the latter diminishes as time goes on).

I also like the idea they both are going to be: "I'll protect you!" any time something happens. Putting themselves in front of each other. My MC would have the advantage, I think, since I made him taller than Oswin, and also have a broad body type (I'm unable to remember if that's the word used in game, but I'm certain is the body type related to a strong look).

Sorry for the rambling, this doesn't even have a question, which is the point of asks. But that has an easy remedy. So:

1) What do Oswin, Pa and Da think of an MC that is finally able to achieve his dream of being able to take care of them? I know they probably will still want to take care of MC, but maybe is more balanced now.

2) How does Oswin feel about all the pampering/taking care of examples I gave?

I hope I'm not asking for much. I'll just say I really enjoy this IF, and how much the character care for each other. It reminds me a bit of the Lord of the Rings fond friendships, in the sense that affection and care is always given to the people they care for. Although in this IF, unlike Professor Tolkien's book, the bonds that take protagonism are more varied (since in Tolkien's work there is more of a focus on friendship and camaraderie than in romance or parent-child relationships your IF explores).

Oswin can be incredibly difficult for an MC like yours. He needs that care the most, but is also the most resistant to receiving it. He keeps thinking that he "knows" this is best, but he's super wrong. He doesn't even realize that it would add to your MC's grief.

Things will be even harder for your MC as we progress. I posted in the last ask that there are some rough things that are going to happen and the MC will be a bit helpless through them. Some depend on choices, some are unavoidable. Not all the time will they be like this, but there's going to be rough patches. MCs will eventually have breakdowns - some are non-optional depending on choices. But your MC may need to have a little bit of a come-apart and the ROs can help them move beyond that.

I definitely think that once your MC concludes their adventure and can get Oswin to work through some of his Oswin-ness, that sort of future is possible. He'll be more receptive to nurturing and he'll understand a balance of how he cares for others. Your MC's Oswin is going to have a hard time adjusting to all that doting, but he is going to be living the life once he does. I can definitely see that cycle of 2 wonderful people just wanting to make the other person happy and healthy.

You are correct in thinking that Oswin does some things out of guilt (at least for now). He genuinely does care but he's caught in the limbo of "am I crossing a line?" "am I wanted?" "am I in the way?" "I already screwed this up" "I need to make up for this" etc…

As for your questions.

Papa is also a fellow nurturer, so he will know what MC feels like while still also wanting to take care of them too. He'll love having a big family that is there for each other. Da is supportive, of course, but also as the ever-concerned father, will encourage MC to take time for themselves too. Oswin will be happy, but there's going to be a back and forth - a war of kindness between he and MC.

Oswin will quietly love the pampering. It may make him feel a little guilty for a while - he is of a mindset that he doesn't deserve it. But he's going to feel loved with each gesture, as long as he doesn't have to give up all his independence now, he still wants to do things for himself and for his MC.

Thank you so much for the message and questions, my dear. I love seeing how you're engaging with the world and characters and making it your own. Tolkien is definitely an inspiring source for me as well, though I could never hold a candle to him (lest he write 20 pages about said candle, lol). My hope is to continue fostering those friendly and romantic relationships as the story progresses as well. ^_^

[fieldofdaisiies]

Ars Amatoria | ch. XIV

-all rights reserved-

Elucien AU word count: 2,9k words warnings: none

masterlist

A week has passed. A week where Elain has not once left Lucien’s side for longer than twenty minutes. She always watched the medica closely when she tended to Lucien’s wounds, fed him when food was brought to their chamber helped him dress and also helped him wash. 

“And I still remember how Mamma always used to say that I am the troublemaker and then it was Eris who puked right in front of Cardinal Mosca's feet.” 

Elain is bending over, laughing, tears forming in her eyes. “I think, even in Rome, you could smell the alcohol in his breath. Papa was disappointed, but Mamma was scandalised, and so ashamed, she made him clean the whole family home and that for the a whole month.”

Elain cackles loudly, nearly choking on the grape she has just swallowed, always handing one to Lucien as well while eating. At first he has taken them for her fingers with fingers. At some point, this has changed, not taking them with his fingers anymore but with his lips. And with each grape he softly nips on her finger tips, only brushing them, but it does things to Elain’s body. Goose bumps rise on her skin when his tongue pokes out a little, softly flicking against the tip of her index finger, and Lucien swallows the grape. She feels her toes curl on the mattress and something low in her belly tighten — an unknown feeling she is not used to. 

“You look beautiful today, Elain.” Lucien grins. “Well, you always look beautiful, but today, with your hair down and not so tightly pulled back… you truly could be Venus.” 

A delicate flush of color paints Elain's cheeks, covering her complexion with a gentle, rosy glow. And God, does Lucien loves this. And her. His eyes widen a little as awareness fills his entire being and good God, it is true. He is so very much falling for his wife. This wonderful, lovely woman, who has somehow managed to sweep him of his feet with just her…kindness and respect and loyalty. And with just her being her. She is beautiful on the outside, but a masterpiece on the inside. His gaze lingers on her, as every fiber of his body starts to scream for Elain, his heart pounding erratically in his chest, doing one happy flip after the other. 

“Why don’t you go outside a little? You have been in this room with me for a week. You love the garden and nature, please, I am fine. Go outside, if only for ten minutes and enjoy the time outside.” He looks at her almost like he is begging her to follow his suggestions. “Eris will anyway be here in a few minutes to join me on the way to the medicus. I will also quickly check in with Jurian afterwards. You could come there as well?” Lucien suggest and Elain doubts this is a good idea. 

The wound has not fully healed, but Lucien acts like it does not exist anymore. Men…she thinks, but tells him that this is a good idea and they should do this. 

While he goes to the see the healer she will spend a little time in the family garden and then go to Jurian. 

She dons a thin tunic over her sleeveless dress and leaves simultaneously with Eris and Lucien. The latter brushes his hand over her head and smiles before he whispers a goodbye which Elain happily returns. 

Still grinning, she takes the staircase that leads to the library. She has gotten used to the huge house. At least a little bit and she is really starting to like it. A lot actually. Before going to the gardens she wants to pick up a book — a book that might be necessary sooner or later and one she really wants to have a look into. She easily finds it, clasps it tightly in her hands and returns it to their shared bed chamber before finally heading outside. 

Elain wanders through the garden for a while, collecting flowers to make a bouquet. A bouquet she can then place in their shared bedroom. Or the living room. Or the dining room. 

Oh! Maybe she will just make more. 

In silent admiration, Elain regards the pruned trees, with the lush green leaves while she walks down the stone path that leads to the archway. She wants to sit down on the stone bench and make her bouquet there. A light breeze rustles through the grass as Elain leans down and watches how a ladybug crawls from one leave to another. She remembers how her hand touched Lucien’s when she let the ladybug climb onto his hand, and has to smile to herself. That was a lovely moment. 

She continues on, her steps light and joyful, until she lets herself fall onto the bench and releases a long and happy sigh. 

Love is a wonderful feeling! 

Elain is about to pick up another another tulip from where she sits on a stone bench when someone clears their throat. Elain whips her head around, wondering if she imagined the noise. The answer comes soon in form of a tall, slender woman with light blond hair and piercing blue eyes sauntering through the archway that leads to the bench Elain is sitting on. Her icy presence immediately fills the whole garden and in the same moment a dark cloud moves over the sun, dimming it and cooling the air around Elain. 

“You are Elain, am I right?” The woman raises a brow, almost like she is looking down at Elain, her voice tinged with something close to annoyance. 

Elain has not once seen Ianthe until now, but she knows that this is her and that they are finally meeting now. Even though her gut feeling is awful, she still decides to give the woman a chance. At least for introductions. 

“I am Elain, yes. You are Ianthe, right?” Elain answers politely and reaches her hand forward. But Ianthe ignores it, just intently watches her without deigning her the shake of her hand. 

“It is quite cute, I have to admit that, Elain.”

Elain furrows her brows, her lips pouted as she shrinks a little into herself. She lowers her gaze to her bouquet and lifts it up a little, pulling on one flower to keep herself busy. 

“What is…cute?” The word tastes like bile on her tongue, and Elain’s brows furrow even further as a sardonic grin spreads over Ianthe’s face. 

“You naivety, Elain. You really think he likes you, don’t you?”

Elain peeks up from behind the bouquet of flowers. Ianthe strolls towards her, her long beige dress waving around her legs. Elain does not answer, not sure what Ianthe’s mission is.

“Don’t get your hopes up too high, girl.” Uninvited, the woman sits down next to Elain on the stone bench and picks up a flower that has fallen out of her bouquet. She twists the rose between her fingers, ignoring the thorns. “He wants to bed you, that is obvious.”

“He is my husband,” Elain answers, not sure what else to say. She has changed her mind, actually she does not want to give her a chance. 

“Yes, he is. On paper. And now he wants to bed you. For his benefit. That is all he can get from this marriage, you know?”

Elain lowers her hands, placing it and her hands in her lap. “It is not.”

Ianthe grins again, gleefully. “It is not?” She pauses and silently regards Elain. “It is what all men want, don’t they? The most primal needs.” 

Elain shakes her head, knowing Lucien is not like that. He would have taken advantage of it in their wedding night if this is truly his intention and the only thing he wants.

“Lucien is not like that.” 

“Is he not?” Ianthe drawls and cocks her head. She purses her lips a little, her voice tinged with fake-kindness. “Lucien is just like that. Just like his brother who desperately wanted to fuck me in our wedding night.” 

Elain cringes at the vulgar wording, her brows laying in furrows. “Now that he can longer have my body, as I won’t allow it, he is going to seek his pleasure, or maybe just release, somewhere else.” Elain does not want to talk to her anymore. She knows this is not the reason why Eris has a lover. Lucien has told her the reasons, but she can’t tell Ianthe that. She can’t reveal this secret. If Eris does not tell her, it is definitely not Elain’s place to do so.

“And Lucien is no different. He even tried to bed me one day. If I hadn’t stopped him, he would have fucked me like his brother.”

Elain’s heart drops into her lower belly, her blood running cold and the bouquet nearly slips out of her damp hands. “That is a lie!” she exclaims, nearly shouting.

“It is not.” Ianthe grins. She is a snake, Elain thinks and really wants to slap her with her bouquet. But instead she gets up and shakes her head. “You are…you are…” “I am what?” Ianthe cocks a brow in challenge, her lips curving in a gleeful way.

“A canker-blossom!” Elain turns on her heels, fury blazing through her veins as she takes the bouquet and tosses it away, right in front of Ianthe’s feet.

"Oh, and, dear Elain," Ianthe calls after her, "just because he is not fucking you yet, does not mean he does not seek his pleasure elsewhere. He has just as many whores as his brother."

Elain is running, escaping, burning tears threatening to roll out of her eyes. She does not believe a single word the woman said to her. She knows Ianthe hurt her husband, she knows Eris’ reasons for having a lover and she…she is so glad she knows all these things because if not, she would have believed Ianthe. And that thought startles her. How much one person can influence someone with just their words. But Elain won’t let these words sink in, she keeps them locked away behind iron gates in her mind. There they should stay forever and rot. 

Golden rays of the late afternoon sun fall onto the rooftops as Elain steps out into the bustling streets of Florence. And as much as she does not want to think about what Ianthe said, there is still this tiny kernel of unease blooming inside of her — did Lucien truly want to sleep with Ianthe? And was that why she later was so rude to him? 

Of course not! Elain thinks. 

Lucien is not like that. He would not do something like that. He is a good man. 

A symphony of sounds fills Elain’s ears, the clattering of horse hooves on cobblestones, chatter and laughter of merchants and people who buy things at the market. She once again relishes the smell of the freshly baked goods and the wood fire. As she walks through the narrow alleyways leading to Jurian’s art studio the scents blend with those of aromatic herbs as well as she freshly cut flowers. Elain inhales deeply and then slowly exhales, her eyes closing for a moment. 

She can trust Lucien, and she can also trust herself with falling in love with him. She does not have to stop herself. She does not have to hold back. And then another thought comes to her — she hasn’t thought about Graysen in nearly two weeks. And this is good. In hindsight, she has to admit that he wasn't a really good man. Not in the way Lucien Vanserra is a good man. 

Elain gazes at the huge buildings, adorned with sculptures and graceful arches before she takes her last turn to head to Jurian’s studio. Walking here, in the now even narrower alleyways, Elain feels like she is on a quest for a hidden treasure, tucked away in those small streets. It is a little cooler here, and a special kind of stillness and calm lies in the air. The chatter she can hear sounds far away. Many artists are situated here. And not only artists but also a weaver she passes before she stops in front of Jurian’s door. 

Elain knocks without a second of hesitation, wondering if Lucien is already here. She hopes so. She really wants to see him now. Really wants to hear his voice and see his beautiful smile. It all will help her forget Ianthe's awful words.

She knocks again when she gets no answer and soon the soft tenor of Jurian’s voice reaches her ear. “Come in!”

And so she does. Hands curling around the handle, she opens the door. But she stops dead in her tracks at the scene that is revealed to her. 

Lucien is sitting on a chair, Vassa on one of his thighs, her hands on his naked chest, one finger lifting the bandage a little bit, gazing at his wound. Jurian is nowhere in sight.

Elain’s heart races like a wild stallion galloping through an open field. Her breathing stops, but she can’t tear her eyes away. Not even when her lower lips starts quavering. Time seems to stretch, Lucien and Vassa not even having noticed her arrival yet. They only do so when Jurian calls her name. 

“Ah, Elain!” he hollers. “Come on in, come on in. Good to see you!” Lucien whips his to the side, towards her, but he does not look shocked. He does not look like he has just been caught with another female leaning over him and him being half naked. He looks…he looks happy to see her.

“My beautiful wife is finally here,” he says in a voice tinged with admiration. His lips curl, his eyes glow, but Elain is rooted to the ground, her mouth parting a little when the tidal wave of everything Ianthe had said to her washes over her and nearly drowns her. Just because he is not fucking you yet, does not mean he does not seek his pleasure elsewhere. He has just as many whores as his brother.

Elain swallows a burning sob that threatens to build up. She reminds herself that Lucien is good. He would not have a lover. But Vassa is so beautiful. So outgoing, so not like her…And she is sitting on his thigh.

Elain steps from one foot to the other and Lucien immediately knows that something is on her mind, that there are thoughts in her mind that plague her. They have only known each other for a short time, but he can read her so well. Lucien, nudges Vassa, signalling to her that she should stand up and she understands. He knows that this could have created a wrong picture and they definitely have to talk about it. He knows exactly that this is the reason for Elain's unease, and he can't even blame her. One could easily draw wrong conclusion from seeing a random female sit on their husband's lap. 

“How are you, Elain?” Vassa asks in her joyful voice as she steps away from the chair. 

Elain forces a small smile onto her lips. “Good,” she says in a silent voice, and finally closes the door behind her. “I hope I am not disturbing you.” 

“You?!” Finally Jurian appears, half his face covered in paint just like his hands. “How would my Venus ever disturb someone.” He grins from one ear to the other and earns himself a reproachful look from Vassa. Now Elain understands nothing anymore. But she also gets no time to do some more thinking or asking any questions. 

Lucien walks up to her, tips his chin and says, “I think it is a good idea to go home now. I know you just arrived here, but you know, it is better to get back home before the sun sets.” Elain also grasps the words that were not spoke. That he has seen her unease and wants to talk to her. “You already want to leave? I thought we start drinking now.” Vassa pouts and dramatically lets herself fall into chair, Lucien had claimed earlier. 

“Another time, Vassa.” Lucien turns to her, smiles and then salutes to both her and the painter leaning against a large shelf. 

Lucien places his hand on Elain’s lower back, carefully pushing her towards the door. “Sorry, for having you come here and then leaving already, but this is more important.” “What is more important?”

The street is still as empty as before, the sun now nearly having set behind the huge buildings. Lucien stops, he turns Elain to him and takes both her hands into his. He leans in, his lips softly brushing her forehead. 

“You are more important, Elain. And for you to understand that what you have just seen is nothing you should be upset about. Vassa is a friend, and nothing more than a friend to me. But she is a lover to Jurian. I don’t want you to read anything into the situation that hasn’t happened. Because for me, there is only you.” 

He smiles when he leans back, but Elain is quicker. She bounces on her toes. Her lips press against his in the next moment, her nose clashing against his cheek, her eyes closing.  

~~~~~~~ taglist AA: @octobers-veryown @velidewrites @areyoudreaminof @acourtofthought @liftyourhipsformelovex @hallway5 @stickyelectrons @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @bibliophiliaxvignette @thelovelymadone @sunshinebingo @arabellatheauthor @autumndreaming7 @nestas-workwife @rarephloxes  @tuzna-pesma-snova general el. taglist: @rippahwrites @shadowhunter2003 @my-inner-crisis @ladyelain @acourtofthought @itwasalwaysaboutthetea @multifictional  @moonlightazriel @aayo-whatt @brekkershadowsinger @sunshinebingo @gracie-rosee @a-frog-with-a-laptop

[clanofjones]

Ghosts of Our Days- Chapter Fourteen

A/N: It's finally here!! I owe the latter half (and then some) of this chapter to @theosb0rnway, as per usual! You rocked, Kasey!!

<- Chapter 13

Chapter 15 ->

Start

Masterpost

Ao3

Possible TW's: Implied bodily harm and murder

Chapter Fourteen: Murder Masquarade

Karai’s POV

Hamato Karai was getting tired of watching her brothers fail to do their jobs on live TV. While she favored the more traditional forms of gathering news, such as overhearing conversations or getting it hand-delivered on a piece of paper from her eager-to-please Foot soldiers, Shinigami was obsessed with the oversized flat-screen, and Karai was not one to say no to her girlfriend over something as petty as this.

"Karai, look! The skull boy is back on!"

"Shini, we're looking at the exact same thing."

The witch rolled her eyes. "But this is new footage!"

"Why do you care so much about him anyway? If I didn't know any better, I would say you were into him or something." She smirked, crossing her legs and focusing back on her phone. She could watch her brothers lose to some random teenager any time she wanted. She was surprised that the news station managed to catch them, but the vigilante was good at being seen when he wanted to, and hidden when he didn't.

"I'm not 'into him!' I just think this city needs more strong warriors like him!" "Shini, he's a dangerous killer who put Donatello on crutches, and we all know he's involved with Raphael's disappearance. He's not someone this city needs, Casey Jones or not."

"Do you think it's really the Jones boy? I think he has too much skill and too much spirit to be the same person."

"I agree. Casey's mission was always to save the city, not rip it apart at the seams. To me, it feels like this is only the beginning. Almost as if he has a darker plan than just murdering the old Foot soldiers and a cop or two. But what, I have no idea."

"Do you think we should try to follow him? We could learn more about what he is doing."

"Maybe. But this isn't just some excuse for you to meet your new favorite celebrity, Shini."

"I know that. What about your brothers? Should we invite them along on our trip?"

"No. But I will visit them before we go ourselves." She slid off the couch with ease, giving Shini a kiss before she walked out of Shredder’s old lair, which they had repurposed into their home.

"Have fun with your brothers!"

"Oh, I doubt I will."

Karai was right. She was not having anywhere near a good time, especially with Leonardo. She told him her plan and he was quick to disagree. Karai doubted that the concept had even made its rounds around his brain.

"You’re doing what?”

Karai sighed. There shouldn’t be this big of a deal about her going snooping around in the business of some random kid.

But this was Leonardo.

So of course there was a big deal.

Some days, days like these, Karai almost missed her time under Shredder’s thumb, back when she thought she was his daughter, if only for the near disregard for her wellbeing whenever it didn’t concern her prowess in battle.

Almost.

“Patrolling. It’s not exactly novel,” Karai drawled.

“You got a building dropped on you like, a week ago!”

“And Donatello is in crutches, and he’s going to be up and hitting crime in the face with a stick like a dumbass in another week.”

“Karai, we’re built for that! You’re a human, you need to recover!”

“I’ve been recovering!” Karai snapped.

“Shini can attest. I'll call her myself.”

The witch picked up on the first ring.

“Shini, Leo wants to know if I have been resting well.”

“Oh! Yes, Leonardo, she has been resting wonderfully!”

Karai could almost see her smiling through the phone.

“Hear that? It’s fine, I’m fine, and, contrary to popular belief, it’s going to continue to be fine, as will I."

Leo sighed. "If you say so."

“I do say so.” Then, to the phone, she continued in the same breath. “Thank you, Shini! Talk to you later.”

“Goodbye!”

A beat of silence passed between Karai and Leo. A battle of wills, if you will.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to deal with this Skullshot boy myself, and unlike you, I will get results." She looked out at the lair from where she stood at the entrance, noticing the at least seven cork and bulletin boards that made the usually empty living room look like a maze. She almost laughed out loud. "B-Brother, what are those?"

"Those... are all the theories we have on Skullshot and whatever his plan is."

"They're our conspiracy boards! Ooooo! Creeeepy!!" Mikey yelled from his spot between two of the boards. Now Karai could actually laugh.

"So big, strong, tough Leonardo says I can't go on patrol, but he relies on... I'm sorry, CONSPIRACY BOARDS for all of his information?"

"Karai, he's dangerous, he put Donnie in crutches, blew up an entire police station, killed a cop in cold blood, and not to mention almost killed me and April in close quarters with actual bombs! He's not somebody to be taken too lightly anymore, he has the potential to hurt even us."

"Leo, look around. He's a second-rate vigilante with stolen gear and from what you've told me, lame puns. Sure, he got Donnie hurt, but you have all been hurt before by far worse. He's dangerous, yes, but not dangerous enough to take any of us down. Plus, it's just a routine patrol, I won't engage with him unless he tries to engage me. I'll be FINE."

She walked out without saying goodbye, ready to grab Shini and the rest of her gear at home.

Casey's POV Raph had finally let her go out alone, and for the first time in three months, Casey was happy to be without him. It was just supposed to be a patrol, look for any Foot activity, and check for cops before going back to the apartment, but the night seemed to have other plans.

One very important piece of information, Casey supposed, was that she was not an idiot. Sure, he wasn’t as smart as Donnie in the intellectual sense of the word that would please the school system, but Casey still had a few brain cells. Furthermore, those brain cells had been directed toward more… Specialized knowledge.

Amongst the knowledge accompanying how to keep up with her chosen crowd, was how to know when you are being followed.

Or, at the very least, watched.

And Casey was sure that both were happening.

Fantastic. The one night she went out, and someone was following her. Obviously, the dead Foot lackeys and cops weren’t going to go unnoticed, but Casey had doubted something like this, especially before she had any time to put forth an actual plan for Shredder’s destruction.

He heard footsteps to her left, followed by nothing…

Then a small thud. She flipped her mask down slowly just in case the enemy managed to get in front of him. He didn't need her identity exposed because of a stupid slip-up.

He kept on walking at the same pace, humming some random tune in the hopes that whoever was dumb enough to follow him thought that she was distracted.

He turned into an alleyway that he knew full well was a dead end, praying that the enemy would fall into her trap. He heard a small grunt in the distance and realized that his attacker was not a turtle, nor was it April. In fact, it sounded similar to someone else, someone she knew had direct ties with Oroku Saki. It was Karai, leader of the Foot Clan, or at least a portion of it. No doubt Shredder had sent her in the wake of all the increasing Foot casualties to take Skullshot out once and for all.

Then he was reminded of something. Hadn't she been an ally once? Hadn't she been friends with the turtles? With April? She shook the thought away. Even if that was true, April and her merry band of mutants were no longer his allies ever since that attack on the police station. He wouldn't hurt them, no, because that would break Raphie's heart, but he sure as hell wouldn't work with them.

He heard Karai jumping down to the ground, but still kept on walking.

"Skullshot!"

He froze. She took out her Wakizashi and pointed it at him.

"You hurt my family and now you're going to pay the price!"

Casey scowled, deepening her voice.

"I didn't do anything to Shredder, it's him, and you, who's gonna pay for what you did to me!" He pulled out her gun and spun around, shooting at the kunoichi while she deflected the bullets with ease. He ran towards her, grabbing his hockey stick from his bag and blocking her strikes.

"Casey, if it really is you- ah! Stop this nonsense! Your friends, your FAMILY needs you!" The vigilante caught her off guard with a well-timed kick to the gut.

"Your Shredder took my family away from me!! It's because of YOU that I'm doing this!!" She screamed, pulling out a knife. It was quickly blocked by Karai's sword, and in no time, the dodge-and-block routine quickly got old for Casey.

"Fight me, Foot SCUM!"

"No! I am not your enemy, Casey, I never was-"

"My NAME is SKULLSHOT!" The knife finally managed to hit her arm, causing Karai to drop her blade, fumbling for it, but Casey got to it first.

He leaned over her with a triumphant smirk on her face.

"Now, I'm gonna show you what happens when you mess with my family!"

Leo's POV

"I can't believe Karai wants to go after Skullshot." Leo slumped down on the bench, turning his back on the TV, not even interested in the latest rerun of Space Heroes.

"ReLAAAX, big bro! Skull Dude's not THAT big of a deal! He's not even after us!"

Donnie hit Mikey over the head. "Not after us?? HE PUT ME ON CRUTCHES!"

"Ow! Yeah, but like, he's not attacking us or anything! We were the ones fighting him, dude!"

April put her face in her hands. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Mikey has a point."

"Oh my god, hell really did freeze over."

She shot Donnie a look and he immediately apologized to Mikey.

"Mikey's right, this guy just has some anger issues and real hate for the Foot. We can take him out in no time if we work together to figure out what his goal is."

"Did Leo just say what I think he said?"

"Yes, Donnie. Mikey's right."

The youngest turtle finally looked up from his pepperoni and cockroach pizza in shock. "WHOOP WHOOP! OH YEAH! I'M RIGHT! OH YEAH!"

April had to shield her eyes at the booty-shaking dance that accompanied the loud cheering.

The boys just sighed.

"Alright, we get it, Mikey. Now, as I was saying, we need to figure out what this Skullshot's plan is. He's targeting the Foot, but why?"

"Not to mention taking out cops and anyone else who seems to get in his way." Donnie added.

"Do you think he could be after the Shredder too? If he is, maybe... maybe it really is..." April started to shake and Donnie gently pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.

"It isn't, remember? When we were at that crime scene, not only did the weapons not match up with Jones, the guy who did it was clearly right handed and good at his job."

"It's okay, April. We'll find Casey AND Raph and take this guy down together."

"Plus, that guy TOTALLY didn't know Casey's stuff! He didn't get the Goongala, bro!" April started to cheer up and Leo took notice.

"Yeah, WHAT was it he said again, Mikey?"

The youngest turtle stood up on the bench, holding his right hand in the air and yelled: “GORGONZOLAAAA!!!"

The four of them all burst into laughter.

"A-And he couldn't even hold the hockey stick right!" Donnie chimed in.

"Why do you think he was even targeting the police station?" April wondered,

"What does THAT have to do with the Foot OR his M.O.?" Leo abd Donnie shrugged.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Mikey bounced up and down. Leo decided to let him speak, since he'd actually had decent ideas today.

"Go ahead, Mike."

"THE BITE OF 87!"

"Aaand we're back to normal Mikey."

"No!" April growled.

"Maybe..."

"Donnie, DON'T encourage him."

"...Bite of 83?"

"NO, MIKEY."

"It's Krognard in disguise!!" April rolled her eyes.

"He needs to touch some GRASS."

"We live in the sewers, yo, there's no grass in the sewers!"

"So touch some on patrol!"

"It's the 2010s in New York, they're getting rid of all the real grass." Donnie said.

"Yeah, it's all artificial turf now, it's so gross." Leo shuddered, and the others did the same.

"Okay, if nobody has any REAL ideas, I'm going to bed." April slipped out of Donnie's grip and stood up.

Leo looked confused. "But it's only 7:30?"

"Yeah, well... I have a test tomorrow and I don't want to be sleepy during it. Good night."

She walked off and Donnie, as usual, followed her into their shared room.

"Bite of 87, really Mikey?"

"Oh come, Lee! For all we know, the ghosts of those kids could still be out there, coming to get us! Oooohh!"

Maybe Leo needed to go to bed early too.

Donnie's POV

As soon as Donnie walked in the room, he could tell something was off.

"Donnie, go back with Leo and Mikey, I'm gonna try to sleep on my own for a bit."

Donnie frowned, walking over to April and sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Donnie-"

"April, please. Let me help you!"

"What would help is if you left me alone so I can sleep in peace for once." Donnie didn't move.

"Donnie, please, just go-"

"Look, I know you're worried about Casey, but-"

"I just hope she's okay."

"He will be, April. This is Jones we're talking about. He always finds a way to make it back to us." "Yeah, you're right. I just... can't shake the feeling that maybe she won't come back to us. She's been gone for so long, maybe she needs us to save him this time." She shrugged, burying her head in Donnie's shoulder. So much for wanting him to leave.

"If he does, we'll find him. I promise, April, we WILL find him and Raph, wherever they are."

"I know..." She trailed off, closing her eyes and falling limp against her boyfriend. Was it bad that Donnie focused more on her touch than on getting his friend and brother back? That was cut short when April immediately snapped out of her thoughts and sat up.

"Good night, Donnie." She moved to get into bed, but something was missing besides the fact that she wasn't wearing her pajamas.

"No kiss?"

"I said, GOOD NIGHT, Donnie." He walked out of the room, dejected, knowing that if he wanted any peace and quiet he'd have to sleep in Raph and Casey's old room. The thought of that alone made him wish he'd built an extra guest room instead of a bigger room for him and April, but he put her comfort first. Maybe that was his downfall. His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of shouting from the main room.

"DONNIE, APRIL, GET IN HERE!"

He ran into the room to see none other than Shinigami sitting on the bench in Mikey's lap, both of them crying as Leo stood motionless over what looked like... Karai?

Donnie could hear April's footsteps behind her and the gasp that followed as they looked closer at his sister's body. Donnie couldn't believe his eyes as April covered her mouth with her hand, and let out an aborted squeak.

"Oh... oh my GOD."

.

.

.

.

A/N: *wiggles fingers mysteriously*

[jambeast]

An explanation for the "if you disagree with the Earth being 6000 years old, you're culturally Christian" crud: the problem is that like many other "woke" phrases, the term culturally Christian is defined in a way that it's impossible to prove wrong. It's not falsifiable, meaning there's no "failure condition" that would cause the term to not apply. And it's because woke people realized that if people were allowed to disagree with religion, they might disagree with "minority religions" as well.

The thing with Culturally Christian is that nobody agrees on exactly what it means, and the users of the term slip rapidly between a version that is obviously true (grew up in a country that has Christmas and the word 'goodbye (short for God-Be-With-Ye!), and a version that's really particular, unfalsifiable, and pretty insulting.

The idea means both "had a type of upbringing (an extremely common and extremely varied one)" and "Is tainted with Evil", and admission of the former is taken as admission of the latter.

Doesn't help that their conceptualisation of Christianity is possibly as narrow-mindedly and un-nuanced as you can get, comprising entirely of The Bad Things, specifically the bad things they associate with their least favourite parts of specifically-American conservatism. Like Christianity is the most popular religion in the world. About a third or the planet are Christians. There is -quite- a lot of variation between those >2 billion people. Basically any given set of values in the world, you can find and attribute to *some* kind of Christian. There were christian slave owners, and christian slaves, and christian slave abolitionsts, because fucking everyone in the continent was some kind of christian, because christian doesn't really *mean* much when anyone can decide to interpret it in a way that flatters their particular moral intuitions.

Like you don't have to be pro-christian or even not-anti-christian to get that it's pretty broad. It's *obviously* pretty broad. Only way you can not see that is if your Motivation to hate it massively overpowers your drive to see things clearly. As it so often does, with everyone, all the time.

I'd say the thing about "realising that people might disagree with minority religions" is that, like, there's historic idea of western christians going to other countries and thinking that they're inferior and superstious and barbaric (despite those western countries also being superstitious (christianity!) and barbaric (public executions!) And I guess the idea is just to do Exactly The Opposite Of That - deciding that, no, the west with it's christianity and its public executions are superstitious and barbaric, while the aztecs with their gods and their human sacrifices are deep and spiritual!

Nobody wants to cut clean through with the obviously correct take - that both things are superstitious and barbaric, and also that it shouldn't motivate you to commit genocide against either of them.

You can say things are bad *and also not oppress anyone*. You don't have to hate or want to harm... *any* group of people. Your assessment of the goodness or badness of an idea or cultural practice *really doesn't* mandate that you try to kill them. So you don't have to start warping your assessments around to avoid wishing harm on the wrong groups of people. You're free to base your assessments on The Truth!