#having all these marvel expies bowing before the Disney expy is kind of funny now

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 43/50: Justice League Europe #19 (1990)

More Justice League Europe!

But, wuh? You may ask, if you’re invested in the minutiae of my mystery box. Didn’t you say the box was roughly sectioned and didn’t you already get through the DC section?

Yes. Yes I did.

But somehow I skipped three comics? I was counting up how many comics I had left and found it didn’t add up to 50 so went through the box and found that I couldn’t find posts for three comics. I know I wrote them up. I found them in my email. But I can’t find the posts. So I’ll have a very easy three days of 50 More Days of Comics by posting them.

So yes. More Justice League Europe!

This time following in the finest of comic book traditions: thinly veiled knockoffs of the competitor’s IP.

Marvel is more known for this because they get a lot of coverage out of their thinly veiled knockoffs. The Squadron Supreme (basically the Justice League) have become an important part of Avengers lore and even have their own well-regarded miniseries that is basically every Batman v Superman ever. And the League of Super-Heroes homage in the Shi’ar Imperial Guard has become a huge part of Cosmic Marvel and X-Men lore.

DC is no stranger to this either. It just doesn’t get folded into the lore quite the same way. A group of very Fantastic Four esque astronauts were mutated by cosmic radiation and then died, except for the faux Reed Richards who later becomes Cyborg Superman.

And as the Avengers fought the Squadron Supreme, so the Justice League fought the Champions of Angor with expies of Scarlet Witch in Silver Sorceress, Yellowjacket in Blue Jay, and Thor in Wandjina.

These Notvengers were from an alien world destroyed in nuclear holocaust by the Extremists, themselves expies of prominent Marvel villains.

Lord Havok for Doctor Doom, Dreamslayer for Dormammu, Gorgon for Doctor Octopus, Tracer for Sabretooth, and Doctor Diehard for Magneto.

You may recognize that these people have never been on a team together because it would be massive overkill and also there’d be so much clash of ego and personality and goals that they wouldn’t get one foot out the door before they all simultaneously backstabbed each other.

I give you all this exposition because this issue of Justice League Europe concerns the Extremists, or robot theme park versions of them, and also the two surviving Champions of Angor who have after a long time in the woods, either literal or metaphorical, found their way back to a Justice League book and have joined the team this time.

Fair is fair though. One of the many Hyperions (basically Superman) flapping around the Marvel U joined the Avengers for a while. And a Nighthawk (basically Batman) was on the Defenders for a whiiiile.

In previous issues, the Extremists have come to the Earth-1 and had Doctor Diehard/Magneto steal all the nuclear warheads in the world and threaten to detonate them. Due to reasons, most of the Justice League Europe end up on Angor where they find a broken down amusement park and a man cryogenically frozen?

To summarize down a bit: this is Uncle Mitch Wacky, a spoof on Disney, who had himself cryogenically frozen when he came down with an incurable disease. INFLUENZA!

This is a bafflement to Crimson Fox because on Earth influenza is well treatable but Uncle Mitch cuts her off before she can explain this.

Oh. So Crimson Fox is a later recruit to the team. She’s secretly two people and has pheromone powers because those are always anything but sketchy. She’s also exceptionally French. And is neither crimson nor wearing a very fox like costume.

Also here is the aforementioned Silver Sorceress who helpfully gives worldbuilding exposition about Angor. Also also, the Champions of Angor are apparently also known as the Assemblers?

Back on Earth, Martian Manhunter and Maxwell Lord discuss the UN unanimously agreeing to turn the world over to the Extremists because the alternative is nuclear annihilation. Its to buy time for the heroes to figure something out and in hopes that the Extremists are playing by their own rules and won’t just keep the missiles hanging overhead.

Back on Angor, they saved Carny’s brain. Or decapitated robo-head. Carny (apparently an expy of Arcade insofar as dangerous theme parks go) explains some more exposition.

After Uncle Mitch put himself on ice, the incredibly advanced robots of the park kept things running in hopes that Mitch would return to them as he promised. Very messianic King Arthur king under the mountain type feel.

So they even kept the park running smoothly during the nuclear annihilation of all life because dangit, that’s what Uncle Mitch would have wanted. Even when it became clear that there would be no more visitors because everybody dead.

They decided that they’d recreate the world inside the park. So they made a ride that would feature the Assemblers and Extremists and made them able to think and act on their own.

But whoopsie the Extremist robots killed the Assemblers robots and took over the park. Carny joined them because “it seemed like the happy, wacky thing to do.”

The robo-Extremists got restless, craving new worlds to conquer and eventually ditched Carny and the park for Earth.

At this point, Captain Atom (thankfully sporting a short haircut instead of a mullet despite it being the 90s now) has an idea.

Elseworld, the UN surrenders the world to the Extremists. So Doctor Diehard puts the nukes down in their silos thankful that he doesn’t have to be constantly focusing on that! But he can still detonate them in their silos so, y’know, don’t mess.

On Angor, Wacky Mitch reveals that he has a universal shutdown switch to his robots keyed to his neurological impulses. So now they have a trump card against the Extremists if they can only get back to Earth.

‘Oh hey I can totally get us back to Earth,’ says Silver Sorceress at this time. And she transports them back to Earth right in front of Blue Jay just when he’s being a pessimistic ass and driving Sue to distraction.

Mitch’s influenza hits him hard and he collapses, Captain Atom calling for super cool doctor Dr Light. No, not that one. The good one.

A quick time skip and Mitch is back on his feet and pumped full of antiobiotics. He’s not cured, obviously. He needs bed rest and an IV but he should be able to participate in a battle for the fate of the Earth as long as it doesn’t take too long.

Later, the Extremists base and they’re sitting around enjoying ruling the world but not really doing any ruling. Just snacking on some donuts, really. Pretty life like these theme park robots. Lord Havok considers that this was all too easy maybe but he doesn’t get much chance to muse on it because the ceiling suddenly explodes.

The Justice League Europe flies in and starts beating them up with specific focus on keeping Doctor Diehard confused and off-balance so he can’t use his powers to destroy the world.

The fighting is just time filler until Mitch Wacky can appear dramatically on a sand dune.

Uncle Mitch Wacky: “Hello, Tracer. Are you having a wacky day?”

The Extremists all instantly fixate on him and kneel in the sand before their creator-god.

Lord Havok: “Speak to us, Uncle Mitch! Are we wacky enough for you? Are we happy enough for you?”

Uncle Mitch: Uncle Mitch knows when you’ve been naughty and nice… and you, my boys… you have been very, very naughty!”

And all the Extremists switch off and collapse to the ground.

Y’know, I know they were going to destroy the world but they were really slaves to their programming. They were created to imitate the Extremists and the Extremists were world destroying monsters. In their robot hearts, they were fulfilling their purpose to make the creator-god-on-ice proud of them. The moral of the story is that the three laws of robotics exist for a damn reason. And maybe program your supervillain robots to be more wacky silver age stealing 40 cakes and less explode every nuke, hm?

Oh and then Uncle Mitch explodes.

Turns out that Dreamslayer (Dormammu) wasn’t a robot like the others. He’s the real deal. And he was trapped for five years in the Dimension of Terrors when the Extremists (the real ones) nuked Angor. By the time he got free he discovered that there was nothing left to terrorize and nothing to amuse him. So he hooked up with the Extremists robots to find a new world to conquer.

But now that the Justice League has ruined the fun game he was having hanging out with robots of his dead friends, now he’s just going to kill them all because this isn’t fun anymore.

Some legit cool visuals here. Bart Sears, Randy Elliott and Gene D’Angelo do stuff with intersecting pink lines here that makes pasting a spellcircle from google image search look like crap.

Crimson Fox intercepts the magical attack and blasts it right back at Dreamslayer. Turns out that Crimson Fox was really Silver Sorceress under an illusion. I don’t mean all the time, just this specific instance. Because Scarlet Witches beat Dormammus, fact.

Oh and Uncle Mitch is alive even though the last we see of him in this issue would seem to indicate otherwise. Dreamslayer has bad aim. Having helped save the day now he’s on bed rest getting over the deadly INFLUENZA. And yes, I do know that influenza really is deadly.

The Extremist robots are repurposed for Madame Clouseau’s Wax Museum and Flash and JLE bureau chief Catherine are visiting the museum wrapping up some final plot exposition as the comic wraps. Donating the deactivated robots to the museum being Catherine’s idea of a PR move.

It would later backfire horribly when Dreamslayer returned possessing Maxwell Lord and reactivated them. They’d be thwarted again but it would lead to the death of Silver Sorceress.

But comics be like that sometimes.