#having a very you should have raised a baby girl you should have neen a better son vibes tonight | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

avaalons · 7 years ago

Text

Chris Evans Fic: Hiking and Hypocrisy (Chapter 1)

This was born from a prompt given by the fabulous @yourtropegirl based on Anthony Mackie’s 2015 assertion to E! that all Chris Evans needs is a normal girl in his life. And, as always, I got totally carried away with it.

Hiking and Hypocrisy also features basically every trope known to man, including everyone’s favourite: there’s only one bed! Enjoy!

“Chris needs a regular girl. Chris needs a girl who is just down to earth, who’s smart and that’s hard to find,” Mackie revealed to E! News exclusively before playing golf at the 11th annual Irie Weekend benefiting the Irie Foundation. “Those girls are not celebrities. Those are not girls you know.”

Mackie continued, “Chris just needs a regular and down to earth smart girl…Somebody that can take care of him you know because he is Captain America.”

***

‘Honey, you know I love you and I know you mean well, but she’s not going to thank you when she figures out what you’ve done and I’m telling you right now that this is a bad idea,’ Sheletta tried reasoning with her husband, who was currently scrolling through his contacts to find your number.

‘How can this be bad? They’re both single and haven’t I always said that Chris just needs a steady, regular girl? I don’t know why I haven’t thought about this before now,’ Anthony’s thumb hovered over your contact, ready to call. ‘Let’s just have them over for dinner. Just once. Please?’

Sheletta threw her hands up in surrender, ‘Okay, baby, but this is on your head and yours alone. Let it be known that at this very moment, I told you it was a bad idea. I know you think Chris needs a steady girl but wants and needs don’t always match up with that guy. If she ends up getting caught in some Hollywood crossfire and getting hurt, it’s your fault, got that?’

Her husband nodded, barely even listening to a word.

‘Now I got to go get the kids from school but I’ll host on one condition: you tell her straight up what the deal is. That way she can back out if she wants to. Don’t send her in blind Anthony, for the love of God.’

‘Got it. I’ll tell her. See you in a little while honey,’ he finished as his wife walked out of the front door and he pressed ‘call’ under your name.

***

‘Hey stranger!’ You’d heard your phone ringing and a smile stretched across your face when you saw who it was. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘I think it’s about time we had you over for dinner. Sheletta misses you, the kids miss you and, to a lesser extent, I miss you too,’ you rolled your eyes in amusement at his comment, ‘so we need some catch up time. How’s next Friday for you?’

‘Yeah, I can do Friday. I’d love to come round and see Sheletta and the kids and, to a lesser extent, you. Any special occasion I should be aware of?’

‘No, nothing at all. Just a nice family dinner with friends.’

‘Okay, sounds great. See you around seven? I’ll bring dessert as usual.’

‘I’ll let Sheletta know. See you Friday!’

***

You’d finished work on Friday, making sure you had planned your lessons for the Monday and Tuesday and put your resources in for copying. You decided on taking your smallest class of work home to mark over the weekend and packed up your bags to head out.

You popped your head in at the door of your closest colleague’s classroom to wish them a good weekend.

‘Got any nice plans?’ Nina looked up from her pile of marking on her desk to smile at you, a wry nod towards the amount of bags you were taking home.

‘Just a tiny bit of marking this weekend, I swear! I’m going for dinner at a friends’ house tonight, I need to get home to bake dessert to take with me.’

‘Oooh, what kind of ‘friend’ are we talking here?’ She was instantly interested, marking pen paused in her hand.

‘No, nothing like that! It’s a couple that I’m friends with. They take pity on my single state every once in a while and invite me round for food so I don’t need to cook for myself on a Friday.’

‘Sweetie, you need to get out more,’ Nina shook her head, ‘I know we’re teachers but we are allowed our own lives, not just spend all our weekends marking and planning.’

‘Who are you trying to convince here, Neen, me or you? Because it’s five pm on a Friday and you’re the one still sat at your desk,’ you grinned.

‘That’s because I’m going out tomorrow. I plan to spend all tomorrow getting pampered and all of Sunday lying in my bed nursing a very bad tequila hangover. Leave the bag of marking here and come out with me and my friends tomorrow.’

‘I need to get these done though…’ you knew Nina could hear the weakness in your voice. A night out did sound incredible.

‘Come on, stop being coy. Go dump it in your room and I’ll text you the details. We need to find you a man, or get you under one at least.’

You’d already started walking back to your room but still heard her crude comments and told her so.

‘I heard that Nina!’ You called back.

‘You were supposed to, dumb ass!’

***

A couple of hours later, you were on the doorstep of the Mackie household, clutching your handbag, presents for the kids, a chocolate pecan pie in a ceramic pie dish and two bottles of wine, struggling to balance everything as you reached up for the doorbell when you heard a deep, melodic voice from behind you.

‘Here let me get that.’

An arm snaked past your head and a finger pushed the bell. You turned to look at who this mysterious stranger was, only to find a man you knew was Chris Evans.

He smiled before reaching for the pie dish and taking it from your grip so you could hold the wine bottles properly.

‘Wouldn’t want you to drop anything, especially something that looks this good,’ he told you, nodding towards the pie.

All you could do was stare, unable to find your words. What the fuck was he doing here? You knew he and Mackie had become friends over their years working together, but he’d never visited the family home as far as you were aware. You’d always figured they were ‘bros’ at work, but that their friendship hadn’t really extended into having dinner with each other’s families. Apparently you were wrong.

It was all you could do to blink and as you heard the door open behind you, you spun around to see Mackie’s smiling face.

‘So you two have already met, I see!’

And you instantly knew what was up.

***

‘Letta! He’s totally blindsided me!’ You whisper-shouted at her in the kitchen as she poured you a large glass of wine.

Mackie had taken Chris out to the back garden where he was planning on grilling dinner. You could see them through the window, laughing and drinking from beer bottles as the boys ran around playing soccer and you rolled your eyes, frustrated mainly at Mackie but also for some reason at Chris. Just his presence was annoying you, considering what Mackie had tried to set up.

‘I know sweetie, I’m so sorry. I told him and told him this was a bad idea. I told him to tell you what the deal was when he called. Asshole.’

‘What can possibly have made him think that I’d be interested in Chris fucking Evans? Does Mackie know me at all? Do I look like the type that wants to spend an evening with a dumb jock? I’m a high school teacher for Christ’s sake, I deal with enough of them at school.’

Sheletta sighed, clearly sympathetic, but then she tried to placate you, ‘Look, it’s just dinner, right? I’m going to having a few words with my husband later but it’s just a couple of hours and you never need to see Chris again if you don’t want to. But I would say, he’s an okay dude, no worse than your average charming guy who likes sports and drinking with his buddies. I think Mackie was thinking some, you know, not famous company might be good for him.’

You evened your breathing and took a sip of your wine before resolving to make the best of a bad situation.

‘Don’t worry Letta, I’ll play nice, for you. But don’t expect me to laugh at his stupid jokes or bat my eyelashes at him.’

Sheletta raised her glass to yours in a cheers, ‘I would never expect you to.’

***

‘So what is it that you do?’ Chris asked from your right hand side. Of course Anthony had manoeuvred the seating so you were sat side by side at the outdoor dining table.

Granted, it hadn’t been too awful so far. The kids had kept you entertained for the most part and Mackie and Sheletta were clearly working hard to keep the conversation flowing and prevent any awkwardness. But there had been a lull in the conversation as Mackie helped Letta take the dishes inside from the main course and fetch more beers, and the boys had run off to play with the toys you had brought them. You’d tried to get up and help Sheletta but Mackie insisted you stay exactly where you were so you slumped back in your seat reluctantly, realising you were about you be left on your own with Chris and that was exactly what Mackie wanted, of course.

You reached for your glass and settled in for some mundane and predictable conversation.

‘I’m a high school history teacher,’ you told him.

‘Brave lady,’ he grinned. ‘My mom teaches theatre groups but it tends to only be younger ones and they-‘

‘-choose to be there? Yeah, not so lucky with high school. I got to drag them all through, one way or another. They’re not bad though, it’s less of a battle than you’d think, mostly.’

‘I bet you run on sarcasm though, right?’

‘Me?! What would ever give you such an idea?’ You purposefully over-egged it for comedy effect.

‘There it is. A teenager’s best friend.’

You raised an eyebrow at him, ‘Know a lot of teenagers, do you?’

‘No, but I was one, once.’

‘And I bet you still are in your head, right?’

He inclined his head in acknowledgement, ‘Sometimes. Probably more than I’m willing to admit. But being grown up one hundred per cent of the time isn’t much fun, is it? Besides, my niece and nephews would never forgive me if I tried to be too mature all the time.’

Family man? You hadn’t expected that.

‘How many do you have?’

‘Three, two nephews, one niece. All siblings. My sister Carly’s kids.’

You worked out the implication in his words, ‘So I guess you have more than one sibling then?’

‘Yeah, two sisters, one brother. Carly, Shanna and Scott. Shanna, Scott and I all remain childless so far though, leaving the favourite child title to Carly. My mom loves being a grandma.’

You saw your opening to tease him. May as well have some fun while you were here, right?

‘Oh, so the hunt for a baby mama is on, is it? Try and get back in the good books?’

He laughed at that: at your openness or shamelessness, you didn’t know. You waited to see if he would bring up the obvious set up arrangement of the evening, but he didn’t.

‘Nah, I’m her oldest boy, I can do no wrong,’ he smiled around his bottle as he took a mouthful. ‘How about you? Big family?’

‘Not really. My parents live on the other side of the country. I don’t really see them that often but we check in from time to time. My brother is high up in a law firm in Chicago. Divorce law. I see him even less,’ you had to stop yourself rolling your eyes. You and your brother couldn’t be more different if one of you had been adopted.

‘Not a big family girl then?’

You thought for a moment. Was Chris trying to scope you out? You felt immediately on the defensive, affronted that he found it so easy to pass judgement against you. You almost told him he didn’t need to bother, that you had zero intention of ever seeing him again after tonight, but you remembered your promise to Sheletta.

‘It’s not that. I guess my family aren’t ‘big family’ people. That’s why I live out here I think. I made my own family out of friends. I’m basically a fake auntie to the Mackie kids, for example. There’s plenty of people I consider to be as close to me as family.’

You looked at him to see what his reaction was but he just smiled at you, not giving much away, and then there was a lot of hustle and bustle as the Mackies returned to the table. Anthony was weighed down with beer bottles and wine and Sheletta carried your pecan pie dessert and a jug of cream.

‘Sweetheart, this looks delicious,’ Sheletta told you as she placed the dish in the middle of the table. ‘Boys! Come and get dessert!’

‘You should serve it up, it being of your own creation and all,’ Anthony addressed you, handing you a cake knife.

‘Okay, but I’m warning you, no little slices around here. Go big or go home,’ you said jokingly but you subtly glanced at Chris as you began serving extra generous helpings of pie, expecting him to make some gym-related excuse as to why he couldn’t possibly enjoy a slice of dessert, but he didn’t. He took the plate you offered him with polite thanks and moaned his appreciation when he ate a huge spoonful.

‘This is incredible! Wasted as a teacher, clearly!’

There he went again, making assumptions about you and your life. And you resented that he talked down your career so easily. Who did he think he was to make a comment like that? He had no idea about anything to do with you, so why did he keep on insisting that he did? It would have been so easy to have made a ruthlessly sarcastic comment back, but you kept your mouth shut and your eyes trained on your dessert.

Whether Mackie and Sheletta noticed your discomfort or not, you weren’t sure, but they kept the conversation going between them and aside from the few comments that made you bristle, the evening wasn’t a total disaster you supposed. You felt exhausted though, probably from being so on edge all evening, the large elephant in the room (or patio, as was the case) shaped like a blind date weighing you down. You always had hated feeling the expectation that came with dates, like you were supposed to just switch on this charming, flirtatious version of yourself. You hated that it seemed to always be down to the woman to make the man feel at ease, feel attractive, feel funny, even if she didn’t really like him. You… well you wanted someone to feel like they needed to work a little harder to get your attention. Why should it be all on you?

The conversation circled around to weekend plans and you were asked if you were going hiking this weekend. The boys instantly tuned into the conversation and you got a chorus of ‘when we can go with you again?’

You smiled at them indulgently. You loved that they enjoyed the outdoors as much as you did, and you loved introducing them to all the skills they needed to hike safely for a whole day or even a weekend. You hadn’t done a camping hike with them yet, but you had done a full day, teaching them how to make the most of their food and how to make water drinkable if they ran out.

‘Not this weekend boys, I have somewhere to be tomorrow night. Next weekend maybe? Do you want to do all day Saturday?’

You looked to Mackie and Sheletta to check that would be all right with them and Sheletta began to nod slowly, obviously checking her calendar mentally, ensuring they had nowhere to be.

‘Wait, you hike?’ you heard Chris’ surprised voice next to you.

‘Yeah, it’s quite a normal hobby, you know, for regular people,’ you kept it light so it didn’t appear too cutting but this man was working your last nerve.

‘I just meant… I’ve always loved the outdoors and loved the idea of getting into hiking but I wouldn’t know where to start on my own and I’ve never known anyone that was into it.’

Before you could tell him that the Internet was a wonderful invention if he ever wanted to do some research, Mackie interjected.

‘Hey, I’ve got an idea, why don’t we all go next Saturday?’

There was a millisecond of silence before everyone launched in at once. Sheletta glanced at you awkwardly before saying ‘Babe…’ to her husband in her most quiet warning voice, the boys yelled out their excitement, Chris was at your side declaring that he was, in fact, free next weekend, Mackie was grinning around the table, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with such a wonderful idea and you could hear the beginnings of excuses desperately tumbling from your lips but it was no good. You’d basically walked yourself into this one by telling the boys you’d take them next weekend.

Sheletta tried and you loved her for it, ‘Anthony, she’s an expert, she doesn’t want to be stuck with three kids and three adults who are hiking amateurs. That’s hardly a good use of her weekend when she’s so busy the rest of the time with work.’

But Mackie waved her off, clearly too wrapped up in his own matchmaking attempts to pick up on the edge in Sheletta’s voice.

‘She doesn’t mind, do you?’ He stated, rather than asked, looking to you, ‘The boys go with her all the time and it’s only a one day hike. We won’t take up her whole weekend. It will be fun, all of us together. You’re up for it Chris, right?’

‘Yeah, course, count me in. Just tell me what I need.’

‘Take Chris’ number so you can text him the details,’ Mackie was on fire now. You subtly rolled your eyes at his transparent attempts to keep this thing going when you knew full well it was a pointless activity.

‘I’m sure Chris doesn’t want to give his number out to just anyone, Mackie. Can’t you just forward the details if I send them to you?’

‘That seems unnecessarily complicated. Just take it off him, he doesn’t mind.’

You sighed quietly, thinking that Mackie seemed to know an awful lot about what people did and didn’t mind tonight, but dutifully took out your phone to take Chris’ number.

‘Do I need to put you in under a pseudonym?’ You asked him teasingly as you tapped out his digits.

‘Depends, how likely are you to have your phone hacked?’ He joked back.

‘Hmm, low to zero, I would say, given my ‘nobody’ status.’

‘Then ‘Dumb Jock’ should work just fine. Unless you feel like you deal with enough of them already?’

You looked up sharply and he was grinning, knowing he’d caught you out earlier. How had he heard you say that? You and Letta had been in the kitchen and he’d been outside, hadn’t he?

‘I think I’ll just settle for Chris E,’ you looked back down quickly when your face flushed, not wanting him to see your embarrassment. You made to put your phone away when he stopped you with a hand on your arm.

‘Will you give me a callback, so I’ve got your number and I know who it is when you text?’

You looked down at his hand where it was making contact with you and you fought the urge to shake him off. Hollywood types were always so touchy-feely all the time.

When you answered, you knew you were being purposefully difficult and frosty but this was a guy who must have been so used to getting what he wanted, you just didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

‘You’ll know it’s me when you get a big list of all the kit you need to get hold of by next Saturday.’

#chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you

198 notes · View notes