#having a silly goose to hang out with & defend

[brainrot-stitch]

😈😈😈 (also u can draw any of my ocs if u want woahh!!!)

Putting a cut actually cuz this was long whoopsy

M!heartbreak is an au of heartbreak but I just. Like this version more💔. There's a sp au called mirai park which has since been deleted and the person who made it wants no association with it btw. But I thought the general concept ("ur god is dead fight the other players whoever wins/survives becomes god) was cool and moved on. That's where i first heard abt it at least idk if there's like a show or smth it's based on. But anyways later on some of my little guys got snatched from their worlds and put in a killing game to become a god, and heartbreak was one of them!! I didn't do this btw sometimes events just happen I can't control sighhh.. but yea he's there now. Currently the mirai au is unfinished but I'm slowly learning what's happening to them and sadly heartbreak had a dead end :(( it's ok tho he js got sent back to his world (which I know very little about sigh). This is also a more humanized version of him, as all the contestants were given more humanoid forms bc they were either anthro or feral. (Heartbreak was anthro but I need to redesign it BAD). Anyways while competing he's really put together and is good at fighting. He's probably got the best um. Idk how to say it. Survival skill? Idk smth like that. Out of all of them. Bro knows how to survive and defend himself which is so odd he died before the final few. Seeing how he died I can guess who got to him tho :( anyways here's his ref!!!

Wooo mlp ocs!!

None of them have a lot of lore yet so I'll do all of them for now :3

Azure- basically 0 backstory idk what her deal is. When I was sick and like dozing off (like sleeping but I could wake myself up if needed) I saw her and woke up to sketch them rq before going back to sleep lol.

Greyscale- my first pony oc! Not much lore they js kinda chill :3 they have a bf I don't have a set design for yet but bro is a silly goose

???- don't have a name for her yet but it's from the equestria civil war au by @/captainzigo :D. It's an alicorn experiment oc and u can find out more abt those if u go check her out bc idk how to explain it well 💔. She's a very yapful yapper and real energetic and excitable. It's deal is that the scientists mixed her dna with not only a pegasus but also changelings so she's got like. Feathery bug wings. And also those funky holes in its back legs. She's silly I think :3

Their refs!! (Greyscales looks like ass bc I made the wings too big but I don't feel like fixing it so bros gotta stay like that

And finally axel!!! Ough I love axel he's my little freak creature..

Soo he's a funky little minecraft oc :3 hes an avian but he's got a sculk infection going on tho. Currently he lives in the deep dark, usually above or somewhere near the ancient city. He likes to hang around on ledges or in crevices high up in the caverns. He also really likes being in lush caves but always ends up going back to his place in the deep dark. He does sometimes go to the surface, but usually only at night. Bright light is starting to hurt his eyes (he likes the dim glow of the glowberries (: ). Wardens don't really give a shit abt him as long as he's quiet and stays out of their way. Due to his time in the deep dark (he's been there for years btw) he's learned to keep quiet by instinct. He's a silent flier and he speaks in a sort of whisper voice? That's not really a whisper?? Idk how to describe it. His voice is real quiet basically idk

He can leave the deep dark n all that, but the longer he's away the more effects it has on him. After recovering from the initial injury (will talk abt that in a bit) he tried to leave for good but ended up eventually going back. He tells himself that it's just because he wants to, not that he's being affected by the sculk growing on him. He knows he's lying. Anyways!! The longer he's gone the worse he gets btw. The symptoms of.. idk what to call it. The whatever, I guess? Can range from like irritability or homesickness to getting fevers or migranes and a clawing urge deep in his throat to get back.

Anyways how he got infected/stuck in the deep dark!!! He n some pals went to the ancient city bc they heard there was cool loot n stuff (despite their village leader specifically telling them NOT to). They didn't know shit about the deep dark tho and ended up eventually triggering a warden. They panicked obvi and the warden aggro-ed on them and they got their asses BEAT. While they were trying to run back axel got shot by a skeleton and then hit by the warden back into a uhhh fuckin like. Crack in the ground?? Idk how to describe it well but like a crevice. Anyways he passed tf out and was down there long enough for the sculk to infect the wound (which is on his left shoulder/bicep btw. It's where the X is :3). His friends were like "oh shit he's a fuckin goner" and ran! Bro got abandoned so sad sighhhh. He eventually got better but bro was sculked :( he still convinces himself his pals are gonna come back some day (they are not<3).

Sooo bro has been in total isolation for like. Years. Idk how many years tho I haven't found that out yet💔 bro is NOT mentally stable!! Also here's his ref :3

Ermmm haiii oc doodles :D

Might add some more later..

[alovevigilante]

Belief in one’s ability to create is the key to actually generating and experiencing it in 3D form. The brain creates the energy around the desire you feel. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

The reason why you may not be seeing your desires come to fruition in your three dimensional reality is because in some way, shape or form you, yourself, are holding it back in some capacity. How? And why? It could be one of a myriad of reasons.

One reason may be because although you may think you want it, you’re not really feeling it completely. You may be afraid to change into the new reality, and tend to lean towards the older, less desired, but easier because already established one. Like, for example not switching jobs because you are comfortable where you are. You can’t stand your boss, cause he/she/they are an ass, and ask ludicrous things of you daily that are ridiculous and no one should comply with, but, you’re used to it, and you like your cubicle and the hot lunch in the cafeteria, that serves meatloaf on Thursdays, and that’s pretty ok. So, you choose to stay in a situation you aren’t fully down with. And you know what?! The pay blows, and you feel under appreciated, but yet you still continue to hang out in that ass place regardless, cause you know how to get there, even though it’s a 2 hr commute there and back. And that’s cool and all, but not really a reason to stay, but for you, it may be. You may be afraid to navigate the city, to a new location, because Mapquest sent you on a wild goose chase one time, and you ended up in an industrial area with no outlet, when you were trying to get to an important meeting. That can happen. I know, it’s happened to me. And that’s why google maps trounced mapquest. And waze did too. I don’t even know if people use mapquest anymore, because yes, it sends you on a quest alright, but not necessarily the one you signed up for in advance. And that can upset your apple cart greatly, cause you already had the plan! The plan was set! But you are lost now, in an unestablished, incomplete part of town with no one there to guide you out, ok?! And you call where you want to be, and say, “I’m not there! I’m here! And here is ass! Ok!?” But no one answers, cause they’re busy being there, and not in the abandoned, desolate crap area, where you are, by no fault of your own. And you have to call someone yelling, because lost, and where the hell are you?! And it takes you fifty two minutes later, and a tangible map and live navigator, like Keith Richards in pirates of the Caribbean, but on land, not see, and not him, cause he’d probably lead you on a disastrous seafaring mission where you would develop scurvy, but at least you’d get to listen to a decent guitar lick before you die of dysentery, when really wanted to do was to get out of the craziest wilderness that has been given up on, in an urban area.

Cause you found a place, much like Christopher Columbus the director didn’t, that hasn’t been discovered on the map yet, and there you are! And people are counting on you to be in their place at a certain time, and not this barren place, with construction all over creation and tumble weeds that aren’t there cause it’s the city. So what do you do?! I said, what is it that you do?!?!?? You stay, in your tried and true, marginally ok place, and don’t try to move. It can happen...

Another reason may be because some things that you are choosing to partake in, in your 3D life are contradictory to the desire you believe you want. For example, you may want to be an exotic birdwatcher for a living. But you don’t live near anywhere near the exotic birds. You don’t even own a pith helmet or a pair of binoculars. And you don’t have any link to anyone that will hire you to do that, nor do you have any experience or association that would appreciate and hire you for said experience, who would also, in addition to that if you did, fly you to where the exotic birds you want to study, reside. And you refuse to buy the plane ticket yourself! So you mope, and you pout, and you say, “you know what?! I didn’t like those ole exotic birds anyway! Who do those birds think they are? With their feathers and pretty colors?! Screw them!” I mean, how’s a bird supposed to know you’re interested in them?! They can’t go to you, nutball! They’re busy being birds! So, you’re SOL, and it sucks, cause all you want to do is look at and engage in some exotic birds action. But again, you are choosing not to take steps to get near one.

And the third reason may be, because you don’t really believe you’re worthy of being happy. And that’s just ass thinking, cause everyone, is entitled and worthy of that.

All of these things, are bs. You are a creator of your own life with your feelings. So make, deliberate choices to feel good. And by that I don’t mean to mask the feelings by something that may placate the feelings of lack you decided to focus on, and feel better just in the moment, then worse later. I mean, make a conscious choice to feel better than you do right now. And do that, as much as humanly possible, and not the other crap choices that just hinder you in the end.

Creating your reality is a constant, and needs attention to detail, and clarity. The universe refuses to outright give you what it knows won’t light you up, but if you continue to contradict your own desires, it’ll throw up its hands and allows you to experience your own chosen ass flow or, in this case your resistance to your own desires, to be your reality you see through your perception, and that’s what you will experience daily. And I must definitely have have a dragging defiance to a lot of things, because here I sit, discussing all of it, and there’s still things in my life I’d like to see happen, and not just ruminate around in my head as “what if’s”. Like, for example, I’d like a few millions of dollars, a lot of few, like at least over 20, so I can help a ton of people, and myself to things I enjoy, like creative freedom, and the ability to choose my own path in life. I’d also like to pay for my boob lift, no. Ahahaha! Cause they’re ok, and I’ve decided to be cool with them, as they lower themselves down to belly button level, to defend it from countertops and other things that I may lean on from time to time... and other important things like that.

So my long winded and long boobed point is this; being you is great, no matter what your situation. You know why? Cause you’re literally making your life what it is with how you see it, and how you choose to feel about it. And yes, you can switch it up! What an awesome place to be! You’ve made your life, terrible! Which means you’re In the drivers seat of your own life! You did that! You decided, my life sucks! And you see it, in everything and in everyone you talk too! Then you open a window and yell outside, “Yes!!!!! I did that!!!!!! I made my life blow like joe!” Which means to you that you can decide every decision you make from here on out differently with a better, more positive energy. To others, they may witness that and think you’re ready for the booby hatch, cause they won’t know the context of your exclamation. But that’s none of your concern. You did it! You figured out that you can decide closer, or farther away from what you want. And the more you move towards you truth, the better you’ll feel. And that feeling will take you all kinds of places and put you in front of all kinds of fun people doing amazing things you never thought possible! And you, are the one feeling, and thinking and doing your way to it! You choose better and better, and before you know it, your ok life has turned pretty damn good, to super great! And so on, and so forth. And on and on and on we go, experiencing exactly how we want to feel minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, month by month, and year by year, happier and better, and healthier and wealthier and wiser and more crazy and fun and silly and artsier and more and more creative and in the love til poof! You explode into another higher dimension because you’re so happy with everyone everywhere, and it’s all due to your thoughts. 🙌💕

That’s life. Pretty cool.... But you gotta believe it. Then from there it’s all about the inspired action, Jackson... 🤷‍♀️😉😆💪💕

[rossmccallsqueen]

Meet the Parents (Joe Mazzello Imagine)

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Reader

Summary: Joe is coming home with you to meet your parents for the first time. And then you remembered the Jurassic Park poster on your wall...

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: None, just lots of fluff!

Requested: Nope! I had this idea awhile ago and wanted to share it with y’all 🥰

You were nervous. Really nervous. So nervous that you couldn’t stop tapping your foot on the plane, and you thought your boyfriend might actually cut it off of you. But you couldn’t help it, taking a boyfriend home to meet the parents for the first time was no easy task. Your family had a tendency to go a little overboard when they met someone new.

They also loved to tell embarrassing stories about you, and who knows what else. Honestly that’s what made you the most nervous. And you really loved Joe, so you really wanted your family to like him like you did.

“Babe you seriously need to relax.” He says to you halfway through the flight.

“I can’t relax. I’m too nervous to relax.” Your foot kept tapping away.

“It’s going to be fine, I promise. I wouldn’t make a promise I couldn’t keep.” You knew he was right.

“I hope so. My parents can be weird though.”

“Trust me, I’ve met my fair share of weird. You’ve met me right?” You couldn’t help but laugh. And then you remembered your Jurassic Park poster hanging in your bedroom. It had been there since you were 5, and since you’d moved out your parents had done little to change your room. They wanted it to be how you remembered, which brought you comfort sometimes.

Except now you were taking home your boyfriend who was IN that movie to your childhood home with his movie poster on your wall. That was going to be a fun conversation, you thought. You just smiled at Joe and pushed the thought from your mind. Impressing your family was a little more important. BUT THE POSTER, you thought again.

You knew it wouldn’t get any better if you didn’t relax, and put your head on Joe’s shoulder to sleep for the rest of the flight. A nap could cure all woes, is what Joe always said.

Landing and getting to baggage claim were the easy part. Your parents would be waiting to pick you up when you got there. Your heart was practically beating out of its chest and you looked down to see Joe squeezing your hand.

“You ready for this?” You asked as you stepped on the escalator towards baggage claim.

“I was born ready.” He squeezes your hand one more time, just to make sure. When you get to the bottom your parents are there waiting for you with a sign that says “WELCOME HOME Y/N AND JOE!” Like they had known Joe their entire lives. A huge smile broke out across your face.

“Y/N baby girl! It’s so good to see you!” Both of your parents wrapped you in a hug so tight you thought you could burst, but you didn’t mind.

“Mom, Dad, this is Joe.” Your smile was brighter than the sun.

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N, I’m Joe.” And he reaches his hand out for a handshake. But instead, your parents pull him in for a hug too.

“Y/N has told us so much about you Joe, you’re already part of the family.” You saw the nervousness melt off of Joe’s frame, and that’s when you knew everything would be fine. Unless your Dad started telling an embarrassing story, then that would be another case entirely.

You spent the car ride home with your parents asking Joe questions. They wanted to know about where he grew up, his family, how he got into acting, etc. Joe happily told them everything they wanted to know, and it made you so happy that they were getting along so well.

When you got home, your dog came bounding out the front door as if on cue. You hadn’t been able to take them when you moved across the country, so your parents took them. It felt more like home every second you were there, and you were glad Joe was getting to experience that.

“Dad can take your bags upstairs, if you guys would wanna help with dinner?” Your mom suggested. You looked at Joe, who nodded in agreement.

“What are we making tonight?” Joe asked.

“Y/N’s favorite. Pasta and homemade sauce, from scratch.” That was your favorite but your mom surprised you with it. Today was getting better and better.

“Sounds delicious! I know I’ll love anything Y/N does.”

Your mom started showing Joe around the kitchen and telling him where various utensils were. While you did the simple task of boiling the pasta, you watched as your mom taught Joe how to make your special homemade sauce. It was an old family recipe you’d learned when you were little. Every time Joe learned something new you could see his face light up, and it was like you were a little kid all over again.

“Why don’t you try it?” Your mom held the spoon up to Joe’s mouth for him to taste.

“Wow that’s amazing! Y/N I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this from me babe!”

“I didn’t know you’d like it!” You tried to defend yourself, but you all just laughed instead. Meanwhile, the thought of Joe soon discovering your Jurassic Park poster crossed your mind again. If you had time to go take it down and hide it, you would.

When dinner was ready, your mom called your dad and sister into the room so everyone could eat. Your sister gave you a thumbs up from behind Joe as if to signal her approval.

“He’s cute!” She whispered.

“I know!”

Your sister did just as your parents did, asking Joe question after question. Joe didn’t seem to mind at all.

“So how did you win my sister over Joe?”

“Well, she was on set doing my makeup every day. I like to think I won her over with my charm, but in reality I think it was the perm.” You laughed.

“It was definitely the perm, lemme tell you.” And now your whole family couldn’t stop laughing.

“I DIDN’T KNOW IT STOOD FOR PERMANENT!” Joe also tried to defend himself.

“Joe I literally told you as I was doing it what it stood for. Were you not listening?”

“.... Maybe.”

“If you weren’t listening, then what were you doing?”

“Looking at your pretty face.” You couldn’t help but blush. You even heard your parents go “awwww”. You’d never known that, you’d always thought Joe had been listening.

“Okay Joe, you get to stay.” Your sister has officially given her approval. So far no embarrassing stories, but there was still time. When you started to clean up dinner, you slipped out and made your way upstairs to your room. You had plenty of time to get the poster down.

“Y/N! Where did you go?” Joe yelled from downstairs.

SHIT.

“She’s probably up in her room, I’ll show you where it is.” You heard your Mom say. Now you had absolutely no time to take the poster down.

“Oh there you are!” Joe opened the door and saw you standing right in front of your Jurassic Park poster.

“No joe don’t come in here!”

“Babe, is that a Jurassic Park poster?!” He smiled.

“Maybe. It was my favorite movie when I was younger. I wanted to be an archeologist.” You explained. And it was true.

“Are you embarrassed?” He asked, and sat down next to you on your bed.

“I didn’t want you to think I was dating you because of it ya know?” This time he smiled even more. He lifted your chin up towards him so you’d look at him.

“Babe. I love that you have that poster. Although, I’m a little disappointed you didn’t become an archeologist.” You laughed.

“If I had I may never have met you.”

“And that’s why I’m glad you didn’t silly goose.” You laid down with Joe on your bed and cuddled for awhile. He told you stories about filming the movie, and your kid self was absolutely living. A little while later, your mom came upstairs and offered dessert.

“Y/N and Joe, do you want some- oh!”

“He saw the poster Mom.” You explained and she smirked. You knew that look on her face when you saw it. She’d already knew it was going to happen.

“I just think this means you two were meant to be. The universe works in mysterious ways.” And she left to go back downstairs.

Maybe your mom was right, the poster was a good thing. In the end you had the man of your dreams, a great family, and your Jurassic Park poster could stay right where it was. Life was pretty dang good.

—————

Taglist: @jiswoogannon @aussienerdgirl @im-justatrashcan @one-thousandlies @borhap-socials @fatbottomedcurls @imamazzellhoe @tichtaylor @goodoldfashionrogerboy @sohoneyspreadyourwings @rogerina-deacon @punkgeekchic @fvckyeahbenhardy @letstalkabouthockey @lv7867 @the-baby-bookworm @joemhazzello

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Man Up 4: The Donnyest Game”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Yup, he's back.

The epic Man Up saga gets yet another episode, turning the trilogy into a tetralogy, putting it in the same category as the Shrek series. I'd argue the quality is very similar, at least in my opinion. The second one was better than the first, one of the rare sequels that was better in every way, and the third one was just horrific. It was so horrific that I didn't even want to watch the fourth one, but somebody once told me that the world was going to roll me and The Final Chapter was better than the third.

I could talk about the Shrek films all day, but I don't think that's what you came here for. Maybe I'm just trying to delay the inevitable, since the very first character we see in this episode is...

...oh boy, Donny. I was sort of hoping that Donny in the title wasn’t referring to the comic relief, as unlikely as that would be. At least they continue the cruelty streak with him that started with Total Eclipse of the Kart, as he struggles to open a jar of strawberry jam without getting it all over himself and getting covered with ants. It's not that it isn't deserved. The Powerpuff Girls, who normally help other people with jars, don't seem to want to help, though Bubbles does give this lovely advice.

Bubbles: Stop, drop, and roll, Donny!

The joke is that he's not on fire, you silly goose! Get ready, because there's a lot of jokes like this. While all of this jam related insanity is happening, a familiar face is hiding in the bushes.

Because this is a part of the Man Up tetralogy, we get the one thing that linked all of them, and the only thing that linked all of them: the villain is Manboy, a man man man man who wants to prove that he is a man man man man by doing man man man man things. The most man man man man thing in this episode is to beat up this majestic unicorn. See, it's ironic, because this majestic horned pony is getting annihilated by ants. Or, "ant-nilhilated" as Donny puts it. He's trying. Oh McCracken, he's trying.

I'm surprised they didn't leave a pause between that pun and Blossom talking about the B-plot of this episode. She doesn't want to waste any time, because they have one hour before they have to participate in the Utonium Strawberry Picking Contest.

The winner gets their photo on the fridge, along with a photo showing the "4th year strawberry champ", which happens to be Blossom! Before I can ramble on about how this show's sense of time is out of whack, I can say that the episode proves that this is not referring to Blossom being the 4th consecutive winner of the strawberry picking contest, but the winner of the 4th year this contest was held. Then again, who would have participated in the 1st? Jojo back when he was a monkey? I'm putting way too much thought into this, am I?

Donny is super intrigued by this grand prize, as if the winds of destiny were whispering "Danny". Bubbles has to slowly move her Finn-faced head in to remind him that his name is Donny, in another amazing joke for this comic relief character.

Buttercup, that rascal, tells Donny he doesn't have a good shot at being the champion of giving Sitcom Dad his sweet, sweet free strawberries, but Bubbles comes in to defend her best friend.

Bubbles: It's okay, Don-Bon! You may not be the best strawberry hunter, but you’re still my best friend!

Yeah, great pep talk, Bubbles. Yeah, Donny is terrible at absolutely everything, but at least he's Bubbles' best friend because he has a great personality he doesn't treat his old friends like dirt when he makes new ones he's a unicorn! Donny seems to take it okay, at least.

Suddenly, Blossom gets a call from the Mayor that the Blimp Shrimp is on the loose, reminding us all that the Powerpuff Girls do indeed save the world before bedtime and aren't just strawberry pickers that can fly. There really isn't much else; we don't even get to see this Blimp Shrimp; I guess we're supposed to just find rhyming funny. It's not really on the money.

Well, there is one reason: it's so Donny can do something that isn't very bright, since he can't seem to use his common sense without the girls to guide him. While he’s hunting for strawberries using his strategy of saying he will not be distracted, he sees a churro on a napkin. This napkin happens to be right next to a lasso hanging off of a tree! He can't fall for this.

(Johnny Test Whip Crack)

At least, that's what Manboy thought. Manboy is bewildered by this specimen, as not only does he not look like the unicorn in his purple guidebook, he fell for the very first trap he put up! You'd think he would know all of this, since he was clearly looking at him getting defeated by ants.

Man Boy: It says here that unicorns are incredibly powerful, are experts at camouflage, and are capable of tracking their opponents across many miles! That doesn't really sound like you!

Donny: I know! I sound more like, "Hi, my name's Donny! D-O-N-N-Y!"

I am so glad to say this is the last time he appears this season. They couldn’t even be consistent with him not knowing his name. They could have at least had him misspell it. Actually, they shouldn’t. Manboy, finding no pleasure in beating up such a weakling, offers him some training that would turn him into a commando. “A strawberry commando?”, Donny asks, and Manboy just rolls with it.

So Manboy trains his own opponent through many tasks, like jumping across cliffs, catching fish, doing pull-ups over a fire, and a few other. This training montage is played a bit too straight to be that funny, but it does have this song about how montages are only here to speed things up. No, really.

Bet you can't guess what's happening here Time is of the essence, so we'll make it clear We only got a minute for a montage song Because this episode is ten minutes long

A montage is happenin'!

I am not going to lie, it's kind of catchy, and at least it gives a scene some sort of a joke.

There is one other thing: there's a scene where Donny gets taken away by what is unmistakably a bald eagle. Later, after he starts getting the hang of being a manly unicorn, he punches that eagle right in the face without even a hit flash. I don’t even know what to say.

After his training and his somewhat justified violence against the national bird of the country this takes place in, or at least it was in the original, he ends up becoming a Rambo-like muscled hero, looking almost exactly like the picture in that purple guidebook. I always wanted to see Donny get the Musclecup treatment, said no one ever. Thanks to this training, Donny stops telling bad jokes all the time and now speaks only in gruff action hero lines. Not sure if I would consider that an improvement.

Manboy: Okay, unicorn! It's time to play the most dangerous game...and you're it!

...so he wants to play a children's playground game with him? That is the conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that line, but how else would somebody interpret that? I think he may have forgotten a sentence.

Suddenly, Donny starts shooting horn lasers at him. He tries, for the only time in the entire episode, to use his man man man man beard powers, but they get lasered off. Much like the Reboot Puffs in certain episodes, Manboy just knows that a punch would not be able to stop him, and just runs away.

Speaking of the Reboot Puffs, we do get a peek back at the B-plot, and I really mean a peek, because there's almost nothing here. After Sitcom Dad reiterates how this strawberry picking contest's prize is that fabled picture on the fridge, Buttercup boasts that she is for sure that she'll win this time. She has a secret weapon: a dust buster. Bubbles asks if she really learned nothing from that time she used a vacuum cleaner last year.

Insert cutaway gag where Buttercup chases triple chin Ranger Smith with a vacuum cleaner. Honestly, Bubbles should have just stopped at asking if she really has learned nothing, because the answer is usually yes.

Most of this episode is just Manboy getting chased by the Muscled Hellhorn, sometimes hiding in a bush to avoid him. Donny slowly walks, yelling out to Manboy to come out, come out, where ever he is. This is the big irony; he's this big and strong manly man, and he's getting chased away by a sparkly unicorn...who is also a big and strong manly man. I think the muscles and action movie one liners really lessen this.

Buttercup shows up to suck up some strawberries with her dust buster, and she unintentionally sucks up the bush Manboy was hiding in. Hey, something that actually ties the Donny chasing after Manboy plot with the strawberry plot! Unfortunately, that's the only time the two plots really converge; Donny doesn't even seem to be interested in the strawberries in any of these scenes.

As for those strawberries, the next time we see a Powerpuff Girl is when the episode suddenly cuts to a scene where Blossom is picky about what strawberries she puts in her basket. At least that kind of fits her character, even if that seems to sabotage her plans to win. Sitcom Dad outright said the person with the most strawberries wins that coveted photo on the fridge. Honestly, that's really it for the strawberry plot until the end, and no attempt is made to connect this scene with anything else.

It's just more Donny from here on out. If there's any kind of progression, at least the training montage made him a little more competent at dodging traps. He easily dodges an arrow trap, and just walks through a fallen tree. The closest thing to an action scene in this entire episode, really. Eventually something's got to break this new character of his, and it's going to take more than a napkin with a churro on it.

Oh no, it takes a napkin with two churros to make him fall into a trap! He even reverts back to his usual voice just to yell out his love for churros. Manboy shows up that he finally bested this majestic and powerful unicorn...even though he not once tried to lay a finger on him like he said he was going to do. I guess he would take any victory at this point.

Unfortunately for Manboy, that victory doesn't last. Somehow, Donny managed to set up a trap of his own, as Manboy ends up walking backwards, stepping onto a green button, which covers him in strawberry jam. At least that strawberry jam scene from the opening has a point, as he then gets to succumb to the ants.

And not just ants, either, but he also ends up running into a beehive. It doesn't entirely reference the infamous Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man, but we do get this line, which is almost as good:

Manboy: Oh my god! Bees! Bees! Gyaaah!

Okay, he says gosh, but that's not what I heard. Then he gets attacked by a shark, because random. Eventually, he does end up going into a river, which does cleanse him from the jam, the ants, the bees, and the shark. This river ends up going into a waterfall, and then goes into another waterfall. Both times, they have to point out where Manboy is with a giant yellow beeping arrow, as if the context wasn't clear enough. This scene was enjoyable, but that might be because this is the best beating Manboy ever gotten.

And now, the required "I'm so sorry I was such a doofus" scene, though we usually don't see it from a villain. Donny somehow managed to get out of the cage and run all the way down to the bottom of the twin waterfalls to confront Manboy. I honestly stopped questioning such things; maybe it's that same kind of unicorn magic that allows him to poof tickets to ice skating shows.

Donny doesn't accept this apology, and does what he wanted to do as a person who was called "It."

Donny: Tag, you're it! Now you'll have to chase me-e-e-e-e-e!

The conclusion one would expect Donny to consider with that "and you're it" line is exactly what happens. One might ask, if this was Donny's idea of playing tag, why was he trying to horn laser him? The answer, much like most other questions one could ask about this reboot, is pineapples.

Manboy, in his anger, finally decides to lunge right towards Donny to possibly fulfill his promise to beat up a unicorn. Donny moves his neck slightly to make him miss and hit a tree instead. Yeah, it wasn't as cool as when Blossom did that in the original.

In the end, they finally tie this all up with that strawberry plot I completely forgot about, since it barely shows up. Blossom has her pretty pile, Buttercup accidentally sucked up the park ranger, and Bubbles ate the strawberries she found. Since she's best friends with a character who is well established in this episode to be not too bright, Bubbles can't be too far off, you see.

Donny shows up with that tree Manboy ran into, and it turned out to be a strawberry tree. His muscular physique is suddenly gone for no reason whatsoever. Why shouldn't they just have him stay muscular at the end of the episode? The status quo never seems to bother them.

The Professor decides to give Donny that fabled photo on the fridge he always wanted, right next to a fridge magnet of a poorly drawn Texas. Yee haw. Yeah, I can't think of a better ending for this.

Does the title fit?

Sadly, yes, at least with the Donnyest Game. I guess Donny being made more "manly" does sort of continue with Man Up 3's themes, but that's as close as we get.

How does it stack up?

Out of all the Donny-focused episodes, this is the best Donny one by the virtue of having not as much to complain about. He’s not constantly whining and being an absolutely terrible analogy the writers had to deny. He’s not being a terrible friend by ditching him for a total stranger who happened to have glitter and crayons. The episode doesn’t prop him up as this incredibly important character while the characters we should be caring about are getting their butts kicked. Most importantly, it’s not Bubbs and Donny Get The Mail.

However, there really isn't much to praise, either. The strawberry plot doesn't really go anywhere beyond a cutaway gag, and this episode doesn't change my opinion on Manboy or Donny as characters. I don't hate this episode, but I didn't really want to re-watch it.

Next, another episode where a villain cowers in fear over a cutesy character. Will it be any better than this one?

← Watch It! ☆ The Oct-Father →

[theaveragekenyan]

Eyes of a Stranger...

Especially in the workplace or on television you will soon notice that when discussing something important, Kenyan people like to make verbal lists.

These verbal lists occur in response to a question, for instance, during a conference, a quick meeting at work, a brainstorm, or in the case of television, a debate. Queue the spotlight to be turned, colleagues to shuffle their phones and throats to be cleared, this is that persons big moment.

So, the person will start off their answer with a completely irrelevant and tedious introduction stating their full name...“My given names are….” date of employment... “I’ve been working for....” their full day to day job description and duties... “What I do is....” and the obligatory reference to God “We give thanks to God for…..” 

Once the insignificance is over, the person will then move onto answering the actual question. This will involve repeating the question and then answering in a listed style, e.g “The reason we have so much Poverty in Kenya is because…Number 1….” and thus begins  the persons answer, an answer that will go on and on and on and on and on and on zzzzzzzzzz.

This initial answer will cover everything the person has ever known about anything loosely connected to the question. The person will continue to waffle so much they will lose track of the question and also forget that they set about answering the question with a numbered list. It is extremely rare the audience will ever get to hear point number 2.

If ever they do get to point “number 2….” I guarantee the next words they will say are “oh, hang on, I forgot to mention….” and we’re back to point number fucking one again…which will go on and on again until they start to bore themselves, at which point the answer will be wrapped up with an assured “so that’s all I have to say about that…thank you” cue enthusiastic applause and the fact that, in other parts of the world 30 minutes was spent doing something actually valuable. I dread to imagine if the person had the content to fill 5 points, I can only recommend blocking out 2 days for the meeting.

Of course, It’s possible to assume “Number 1” is the Number 1 and most important point and that the rest of the list is considered irrelevant. Another option, and this is the theory I find most likely, is that they heard somebody else say “number 1” and thought they’d copy.

Personally, I find there’s very little to copy in Nairobi. As you drive around the City, there’s very little to be inspired by. Don’t get me wrong, Nairobi is a vibrant and fascinating place to live, but the appeal doesn’t stem from architecture, design, originality or even surprisingly, a rich cultural identity. There’s very little of interest in Nairobi, compared to millions of other far less important places in the world. There are no beautiful bridges spanning a river, there isn’t a beautifully manicured park, there isn’t an area of outstanding design. Obviously the most beautiful sources of design and architecture all originate from nature. The people, the trees, the mountains, the flowers, the birds, the animals etc etc. Essentially very little man-made wonders exist, in fact I’d say none, which is sad considering the how long the city has existed for and in comparison to many other cities and towns around the world.

Sure, there are tons of ideas out there, but unfortunately Kenyan Governments have never sought to change societies outlook on such simple pleasures. I imagine any creative idea falls down flat at the corruption hurdle.  

In terms of identity, all of the other major Kenyan Towns and Cities all look the same. Nakuru, Naivasha, Eldoret, Kisumu, Kisii, Machakos, Wote, Nanyuki, Meru etc are all almost identical. Sure, the countryside and people have big variety, but the places themselves, on the whole, look exactly the same. Mombasa does look different in design, as it draws deeply from the Muslim culture, but the city itself is a huge disappointment and such a letdown for the huge potential it has.  

So, with very little to see it’s hardly surprising that the average Kenyan loves to stare at other people.

When I walk around, I look at the nature, the sky and of course mainly where I’m going, but when I do look around, what I see, is people staring at me.

As we move into the year of vision, 2020, the average Kenyan still loves to stare at white people, or maybe it’s just me.

I know to Kenyans, all Crackers look and sound the same…I think the worst comparison for me has been Wayne Rooney, but in all honesty, we’re not too far removed if you’ve drank 8 pints of Gin and have been dreaming of launderettes.

I do get stared at a lot though, really...certainly enough to get angry about it, definitely enough to have the nuclear option of “fuck you looking at?” in my locker. I really have to work hard at keeping that option for extreme measures only and I do keep it just for emergencies by understanding most Kenyans stare out of pure interest, curiosity, and in most cases, affection.

I have written before here that I enjoy to jog. This makes me an easy target for “starers”, pure game. How it plays out is like this; I’ll be running toward a group of people, they’ll be chatting away happily, but then as I come closer into their space, their chatting descends into complete silence and their stares begin. Then, only once I’ve passed, will their volume return to original levels and is often accompanied by great laughter and whoops of joy, and all because I ran past them.

I also enjoy walking in Nairobi, and when confronted with a “starer” the scene usually plays out in a similar direction, but with with more pathological pleasure for the “starer”

The “starer” will click their first “Initial Stare”, on average, the “Initial Stare” consumes around 4 seconds of me and I’m aware of it through my peripheral sight, ESP and darting snapshots back and forth of them. I ignore the “Initial Stare”

Then, the “Secondary Stare” takes focus. This stare is longer and extracts more of me, it can last anything up to 6 seconds, or at least until I break it by looking back into their eyes, thus causing an eye seizure in the “starer”. Moving on from the  “Secondary Stare”, we now develop into eye to eye warfare as we walk closer toward each other.

These can be quick, sharp retaliatory stares fired between as we cross each other’s pass, but this depends how interested the “starer” is.

Then, as soon as we’ve passed, without warning, in comes the “After Stare”.

The “After Stare” is for pure greed and sycophantic lust.

I now glance back, and this is when I start to defend myself by increasing my stare onto them, I call this the “Angry Goose Stare”.

Now, and for the very first time, the “starer” has something to genuinely stare at, however they are also properly confused and intimidated by the situation, “Why is this freaky looking white man staring at me…and why is he looking like an angry Goose?”

My retaliatory “Angry Goose Stare” works immediately and they cease their stare. However now, they’re thinking “Eh, what’s this silly Muzungu doing?”. So, they come back for more in the shape of the “Befuddled Stare”. 

The only way to disarm this confrontation and to stop myself going nuclear by shouting “fuck you looking at?” is to wind my head in, turn my frown upside down and smile like a Thai Tourist and say “Hiiiiiyer….yer alright duck?” in my friendliest Leicestershire accent. Immediately the “starer” is faced with a warm, welcoming, if a little disturbing, Muzungu and they then revert to their default setting of ‘Lovely Kenyan person’. I’m not sure if my methods are a solution to stopping staring, but it is certainly entertaining and provides a bit of light relief to the dull intensity of the surroundings.

In Nairobi, particularly in the CBD, smoking cigarettes is banned. If you want to spark up, the safest place to not get arrested is to smoke in one of the “Smoking Shacks”. I say, shack, because that’s the best way to describe them. The shack is a basic structure, I’d say the design was heavily influenced by the Vietnamese Torture Cages, perhaps the contractor saw ‘Rambo’ and thought what a great theme that would be for Nairobi’s smokers. I’ve never smoked in one and never would, they do have a great effect on stopping.

With this in mind, I feel the Government of Kenya should introduce “Staring Shacks”

These shacks would then become the focal point in Nairobi for unashamed “starers” to gather and practice their hobby with other like-minded individuals in a safe and designated area.

“Nairobi Starers” woud become the Facebook Group which would list where “Staring Shacks” could be found and where special meetings or events are happening. Perhaps there could be special meetings i.e “Muzungu Monday” “Wahindi Wednesday” “Freaky Friday” anything really, all fetishes would be welcomed.

I feel the shacks would add a new dimension to the staring scene and allow the hobby to become a little more like Train-spotting. It would instantly create a new culture within Nairobi and instead of “Culture Walks”, I’d suggest “Staring Walks”. Enthusiasts could walk from shack to shack and be with like-minded people in a non-judgemental environment, safe staring for the modern Nairobian.

EXT – ‘STARING SHACK’ 10 AM

WOMAN ENTERS “STARING SHACK” AND SITS DOWN NEXT TO HER FRIEND.

Agnes -                                    Sasa.

Brenda -                                  Poa.

Agnes -                                    Seen anything good yet?

Brenda -                                  Nah…pretty quiet so far.

Agnes -                                    I stared at a Muzungu on the way here.

Brenda-                                   Oh yeah?

Agnes -                                    Yeah, fairly standard really.

Brenda -                                  Was there any odd face?

Agnes -                                    Odd face? No, why?

Brenda -                                  Nothing really, just the last Muzungu I stared at,    looked like an angry Goose.

Agnes -                                    Wow, sounds strange…get a photo?

Brenda -                                  No…he smiled in the end, he was ok.

Agnes                                      I did have a good stare at a Kenyan man pushing a baby buggy.

Brenda -                                  No way….??

Agnes -                                    Straight up!

Brenda -                                  Where?

Agnes -                                    Lavington.

Brenda -                                  Obviously, bloody show off. Get a picture?

Agnes -                                    Yeah, did actually, let me find it – SHOWS PHOTOGRAPH

Brenda -                                  Oh yeah….that’s nice…good one.

Agnes -                                    Yeah, I’ll upload it to the Facebook group.

Brenda -                                  Did you see the photo I uploaded of the Indian Man and the Kenyan Lady?

Agnes -                                    What? I must have missed that, when was that?

Brenda -                                  About two weeks ago. I was in town and I was walking around the corner of Biashara Street and Moi Avenue, know where I mean?

Agnes -                                    No

Brenda -                                  Anyway, as I came around the corner I spotted them, large as life…. holding hands they were as well

Agnes -                                    What?

Brenda -                                  Totally…so I crossed over so I could, you know, get a few proper stares in like.

Agnes -                                    Amazing.

Brenda -                                  Then I carried on walking towards them…standard stare procedure really…so I pretended to be on my phone and that’s when I got this…SHOWS PHOTOGRAPH

Agnes -                                    Wooooah, Indian Man and a Kenyan women, insane…during the day as well…that is rare.

Brenda -                                  Yeah well happy with that photo.

Agnes -                                    So what happened then?

Brenda -                                  Well, they walked past, so I went in for the ‘after-stare’…You know… standard.

Agnes -                                    nice.

Brenda -                                  Yeah it was until the Indian man looks back around at me and says “Fuck you looking at?”

Agnes -                                    No way

Brenda -                                  Way.

Agnes                                      What did you say?

Brenda -                                  Nothing, I just carried on walking like nothing had happened.

THE END

Something for the illustrious Kenyan Nation to stare at and be genuinely proud about is long overdue.

And to be picky, I’m very sorry but, a long and wide ass road built by a foreign country, a Kenyan in Running Shoes or a Train track devastating wildlife doesn’t count. I’m talking about a safe and entertaining City Centre, a rejuvenated recreational Uhuru Park, a state of the Art Museum / Gallery that type of thing. Something original, uniquely Kenyan and not copied. Ah ok, sounds like my “Staring Shacks” will be up and running before any of that happens.