#havent left the house in a week and a half and tomorrow im going to go to work and be out from like 8-7 👍 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drkcnry67 · 4 years

Text

join me?

title: join me?

pairing: Jared x reader

rating: 18+

fluff: single parent AU

kink: shower sex

tags: shower sex, single parent x single nanny, vaginal penetration, climax, asking someone you know to become your partner in raising your child

summery: not telling

mentioning @sweetness47

created for @spnfluffbingo @spnkinkbingo

kink list fluff list

the following AD you had placed on all the job boards:

“if you are a Single parent in need of someone to move in to help look after your kids, clean, cook for you Im that person. obviously i can cook, clean, drive, shop for groceries you know the esentials. basically anything you would require of me i can accomplish. call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx, to discuss details. sincerely YN. PS im willing to relocate if needbe. thank you for reading this.”

just like that it was done, it was posted. now, all you had to do was wait. someone was bound to call eventually.

after 3 weeks you were about to re-post the ad, your phone rang. someone from san Antonio, as far as you were concerned you knew of no one who lived in that corner of the world.

you took a chance and answered the call.

YN: hello!

Jared: yes, im looking for YN

YN: thats me

Jared: perfect, my name is Jared Padalecki. i’m a single father to a 4 year old boy named Thomas. he’s my mess maker & i love him to bits. but balancing between work and parenting is alot harder than most people think. my wife had divorced me she felt like i didnt care enough about her or the foundation she built, so one night she walked out and i havent seen her since. so anyway i was looking through the ads for live in nanny when i came across yours. your ad drew me to it, im sorry if this sounds too forward but its been hard.

YN: not at all. so what are the terms of this job?

Jared: well, as we speak im just finishing the details of your flight to San Antonio which first of all i need your current location like where you are coming from and how much baggage you are bringing.

YN: thats very kind of you to book me a flight. im coming from San Francisco with 3 suitcases and 2 carry ons. most of it are small keepsakes and other sich clothing items i pick up along the way. but not a big deal i just dont have a permenant home to leave anything at. so if you dont mind me coming with all my little nik naks and figurines...

Jared chuckled in the background before he spoke.

Jared: girl, i think we can deal with that. ill buy some wall shelves and a special case for your statues and figures, with enough room that should you want more you can get more. There will be a vehicle you can use to transport my son to school and do errands and stuff like that, there will be a spare room included for you with your own bathroom. The shopping can be done by you after you drop my son off to school on a day of your choosing. If you like all that your duties do not include yard maintenence. You are free to take my son out for shopping trips as well, you get a shared card to my all expense account to do all your spending for the house and for yourself. It goes straight to my account it's all good. I want your time here to be awesome.

YN: this is my cell, please tell me you have some good news about my flight details.

Jared: check your texts.

You check your messages before you go back to the call.

YN: thats a good flight, so what kind of plans are for when i get there.

Jared: well if you want we can go get the groceries when you arrive, after we leave the airport. then we can go for lunch and get you a few pretty things. sign some bank papers to put your name in my accounts.

Yn: that sounds good, I've just sent notice to my landlord, I'm just packing up some of my figures now. I'm gonna have to get my license and stuff switched over to Texas state license but I'm excited for this.

Jared: i know as am i its been a while since we had any type of female presence in the house. we havent any such thing, but tomorrow that all changes. i know that you are gonna bring a light into our lives that hasnt been here in well ever.

YN: glad i can help, now lets see whats the day tomorrow yields.

Jared: i am so excited, so is my son. he keeps asking when you are gonna be here. but it is gonna be a happy day tomorrow. i know that this is gonna sound strange, but i hope your the one that can save me.

you heard his tone change instantly, you felt the power coming from it. you felt the wet in your panties. you were not okay in the slightest. but you felt amazing at the same time.

YN: i guess ill let you go. ill shoot you a text when i get to the airport. cause i want to help you. i want to be the one to save you.

neither of you knew what the hell just happened, neither of you would remember what was said, at the end of it neither of you would be able to state the words of the other. it will remain that way till a different day in the near off future.

Jared: ill see you tomorrow... YN.

YN: jared.

the call ended, it was the moment when you felt like you could breathe again. the moment when you felt as though it would be your last. the moment when you felt like you were on cloud 9.

you went to the cornerstore to get a few travel items. a few other things as well. a lot of times before you travel you do this kind of big shop, but this time was not like most times. Jared was providing everything for you, you had to bring you and what you currently owned, as well as your documents and stuff like that.

after cleaning most of what you could in the apartment, you set your alarm and went to bed. you woke up to your 6:00am alarm. it was a long time but you were also a good half hour to the airport. you wanted plenty of time for check in and travel distance.

finishing packing, leaving your keys to the apartment in the hands of your landlord who helped you bring your bags out the front door. she wished you a safe trip and to call if you were ever in the area again.

you brought your bags to the cab and got in. you told the driver to take you to the airport. upon arrival at the airport, the cab driver helped you load your bags onto a cart and drove off. you pushed the cart into the airport, went to the check in desk.

check in lady: may i see your ticket and passport please?

You hand over your ticket and passsport. the lady scans your ticket and hands both your passport and ticket back to you.

check in lady: alright your good to go, the gift shop is open if you want to stop there, its just on your left passed security.

Yn: do I give you my suitcases! Well at least the ones that aren't carry ons.

Check in lady ushers for a security guard to come round to take the 3 suitcases from you. To which you smile and thank them and head off to go through security.

Security guard: please put all your bags in a bin, your jacket and shoes as well as your jewelry in this bin and then you can stand on this square we will bring you through and go from there.

you did as asked. you complied you went to stand on the square, were waved through, the thing didnt beep but you were still patted down and then given your stuff back. sent on your merry way, you were happily walking through the airport again.

you went to the gift shop, you were buying a few puzzle books to keep you entertained on the flight. as well as a dress off the rack and some playing cards (one of each type), and some statues. these ones were small but made you smile.

you paid for everything and then went to the bathroom to change and organize your bags. you come out of the bathroom, your hair is up in a ponytail. you go take a seat holding your passport and ticket.

after half hour of sitting there, your flight number was called. You pulled out your phone, texting Jared.

Yn (by text): morning, I am about to board my flight

Jared (by text): morning, I hope you have a safe flight, Thom and i cant wait to see you. Thom made you a sign we will be holding it, you have my word and honor that we will be good, we will all get along quite good.

YN (by text): of course, as do i. i look forward to getting to San Antonio and beginning a new life. the pre flight is starting ill let you know when i land.

Jared (by text): have a safe flight. see you in a few hours. i gotta bathe the kiddo.

The pre flight took a bit longer than you thought it would, but Jared's message was one you ended up saving as a screenshot. You listened to your music when the flight attendant said we were free to use the screens ahead of us and whatever else.

You even did some puzzle books and wrote in your journal.

You were nervous, of course you were nervous. This was the first time you were gonna meet a single dad and a son. Thoughts of what they might look like floated through your mind. The thoughts of the life you were stepping into were beyond what your mind could conjour.

But the way he spoke to you said something about saving you, made you wonder if something more was happening to him.

Something maybe in his past that might be coming after him now. There was a darkness in his voice that you couldn't shake.

But you shoke it off, you were not gonna let these thoughts consume you. You waited for the hours to pass, and they did rather quickly.

For what was once 30 mins that had passed, became an hour and a half. You were almost there. 8 am quickly turned into 1030am there was still half hour to go.

This was it the landing checks the whole pack up whatever you took out, close the trays un recline your seats, take out and shut off your music speech came quickly. You put away the books and things, you held your phone in one hand using the other to get up form your seat. You followed the people out of the plane.

You walked out onto the concourse and made sure you were lookin good before you stepped onto the escalator.

Jared was watching, but when his eyes landed on you coming toward him he smiled. He couldn't help himself. A little voice in his head told him not to smile, but to jump you instead. Jared ignored that voice for he didn't want to do anything harmful with Thom around. Even then he wouldn't. he instead watched you walk toward him.

Jared: YN.

YN: you must be Jared. It is a pleasure to meet you.

You both shake hands but a spark flows between both of your hands. Before you place your bags on the ground and look at Thom.

YN: you must be the little cutie. Did you make this sign all by yourself?

Thom nods and gives you a hug which you graciously return. You were feeling happy.

Jared: i think we should go wait by the luggage bay so we can grab your luggage. Then we can head off for lunch and shopping and paper filling.

YN: the luggage should have started coming out by now anyway right?

Jared: possibly. But i want to hear more about you, your adventures and can i just say that dress is delectable.

There it was again, that deep dark tone to his voice. He now held his hand out for your bags as Thom was urging for you to carry him. Jared carried your carry ons, you carried Thom who just smiled happily.

Jared: ive never seen Thom take kindly to anyone before. This is gonna work out just fine.

YN: thom is so sweet, i look forward to working with him on a daily basis. I also look forward to helping you with the house.

You smiled as thom came up to you and sat in your lap. Jared just watched amazed by your skill with kids.

As the luggage came round you pointed out your suitcases to Jared who grabbed them placing them on the cart.

You held thom who just contently hugged you. He nestled himself against the crook of your neck, soft snores filled yours and Jared's ears shortly after.

Jared: he barely slept last night he was too excited. I'm not surprised that he is sleeping now.

Jared says as you all walk to the car, Jared with the luggage cart, you holding thom. You gently placed thom in the car, you watch Jared place the luggage in the trunk.

Jared: and you are the miracle worker, he is asleep. He will sleep till we wake him for lunch. He will also hopefully sleep through the bank and licencing appointments.

Before he could say another word you went over and gave him a kiss to his cheek. The air between you both was growing thin.

This would have been your first kiss if not for the fact that jared’s watch went off.

Jared: we have to be at the bank in half an hour. Which is perfect but first i want to try something. Just dont move.

You didnt move you stood there as Jared slid his hand around your waist. And placed a soft kiss to your neck. Then moved to whisper in your ear.

Jared: a little bit of food for thought. The darkness is growing inside me and i swear i will hold it back as long as i can. But you need to understand you are the only one who can stop the darkness.

You went round to your side of the vehicle. Feeling a little flustered. Jared was behind you, you turned to see him, his eyes starring at you. His hand on your own, you feel a spark, you feel that same spark that you both had felt back in the airport, when you first met.

The ride to the bank was good, you and jared talked and went over a list for shopping and made a list of things to do when you arrived to Jared’s home. You were done the bank & licensing appointments.

Deciding that it would be easier pick up take out for lunch as Thom was still sleeping. Like he was out like a light. You guys were able to quickly go in follow the list and get everything on the list. Finally on the road with lunch and heading home to Jareds.

YN: so i guess i will need to set up some stuff and unpack.

Jared: ill even help you set up and build the shelving and things. Believe me your suite is gonna be your style when we are through with it. We are almost there. Then we will get you settled. And its still early in the day.

YN: lets hope that we can get a majority of this done before thom wakes up.

Jared: or at least un pack the car or have the lawn care people help with that as well. Ill just pay them extra for it.

Within a few moments after that you guys pull dup to a gate, where Jared used a key card to open it.

Jared: welcome to your new home YN!

From that point in the day you and Jared and thom spent it getting acquainted, you did some schooling with thom, jaredd helped you set up your suite, Jared and you celebrated with a glass of wine each before bed from then on. More little moments were stollen like the one that happened in the airport.

Something worse would be a drift in the near future. you didnt know what but you had a feeling that something would come to light that you would never expect in a million years.

~its now been 8 months and 12 days since you came to live with Jared and Thom. you settled in quite nicely. you drove back and forth to get thom to and from school, you cooked, cleaned and you happily did all the laundry. now we start our story again on the last day of school, with you just having picked up Thom from school and are in the car driving back home~

you had just gotten on the freeway Thom had passed out a while back for his afternoon nap. you were just happy for a small moment of peace and quiet. but your bluetooth came through the car at a volume that thankfully didnt wake Thom.

you saw it was Jared so obviously you answered.

Jared: hey hows it going?

Yn: good, thom is having a nap, im just on the freeway. how was work?

Jared: good, i couldnt wait for the day to be over. i have a surprise for you.

YN: for me or for me and thom or for all 3 of us

Jared: call it a family surprise.

YN: wait im part of the family. none of my jobs previously had ever considered me part of the family. its nice to finally be included in an actual family.

you could hear jared chuckle before he continued to speak.

Jared: i know you are new to the whole permenant family thing, and we are always gonna have a home here for you. but i want to celebrate the start of summer with a tradition.

YN: something new or something old?

Jared: a new tradition one that starts as soon as you guys get home...

YN: and will i need to pack a bag?

Jared: yes although i had my assistant at work go out and buy you a few new things for this trip today, so how long till you guys get home...

suddenly thom pipes up from the background.

thom: hi daddy.

Jared: hey little man, ive got a surprise for you when you and YN get home.

YN: we will see you in 10 minutes jared.

Jared: see you in the driveway

the call ended and you handed thom a sucker from your center console. he smiled and giggled all the rest of the way home. you pulled into the driveway parking in your normal spot.

Jared comes round to bring thom out first, after spinning him around before setting him down on the ground, he comes round to your side. he opens the door and extends his hand to you.

he helps you out of the car, and walks you to the door. where you all enter before Jared send thom up to his room to get ready. guess he had told thom the secret before he told you, but you were now standing in the living room with Jared who turns to you.

YN: what is the big surprise, i assume you told Thom and thats why he ran upstairs all excited.

Jared: i bought us a vacation house about 2 months ago. it is all season, and we get to go there and spend these next 6 weeks there. its in canyon lake about 2 hours by car. thom will probably sleep at least part of the way there. but YN i want you to know that i have a secret one that has me flustered enough to internally keep it from you for he is the glue that holds us together. but i wonder if perhaps we as in us 2 have a few things we can be together.

before you could respond Jared leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, for those 2 seconds it was like heaven had shot you with an arrow.

Jared pulled back and began to walk toward the kitchen to pack some trip snacks and drinks. but before leaving you alone in the living room he spoke.

Jared: ill leave you with that food for thought for it will be something to definately make conversation about later.

That kiss, your only real first kiss. Made you extremely excited. But the drive the 2 hour drive had you all hot and bothered. you went to pack your stuff in your bag. well at least thats what you thought, when you got to your room, you saw a suitcase, one filled with yours and Jareds stuff. maybe you guys were traveling light or there was already stuff out there for you guys.

you packed your journals, some games and a few books and of course a deck of cards in your backpack. you wheeled the suitcase out of the suite while carrying the backpack. then you went back in to put your hair back.

you heard someone calling your name. you answered the call and heard footsteps coming to your room. you turned to see Jared standing there, like nothing had happened downstairs.

Jared: are we almost ready to go?

YN: almost. just gonna get into something a bit more vacay less public appearance. meet you down in 2...

Jared: wear something sexy. i guarantee that you will be the hottest thing in the car. and you can pick the music.

you grabbed something out of the closet and took it into the bathroom. you came out to see Jared standing not facing you. till you would speak woulkd be when he would know you were there.

YN: does that mean we are bluetoothing it all the way there.

Jared: got the wireless charging pad installed and all ready to go. plus i hooked your phone to the bluetooth already. now when you are ready we will head out.

YN: i know. jared are we gonna discuss what happened between us downstairs?

Jared: that kind of talk is better suited for vacation.

thom is waiting by the door, you and jared bring down the last of the stuff. thom just as excited about this vacation as any little child should be. everything was loaded in the car, you went to lock the house and set the alarm. but before setting the alarm, you said the one word that you were sure might confirm your suspicions.

YN: christo!

the cross on the wall near by turned upside down. you finished setting the alarm after salting the doors and windows. only hoping that this would be easy, but now you were certain that you had figured out the darkness that Jared kept mentioning.

you went to the car, sitting down you nodded at Jared to start driving. and it was declared right then and there that you all were officially on vacation. Thom sat quietly and eventually passed out. your music playing in the background, Jared realizing that Thom had fallen asleep moved his hand to rest on your thigh.

this made you look at him, the darkness in his eyes faded when you placed your hand on his. the darkness that starred at you, the way his hand tightened on your thigh. you were the luckiest girl in the world. you hoped that this vacay would yield the answers you hoped you didnt need.

over the last little while you had done research on what you thought might be the darkness latched to Jared. after what happened in the house before you left with the cross. you were certain. Jared was possessed. and you had to stop this thing from doing something he would regret.

your mind circled with those thoughts, but a voice brought you out of your own mind.

Jared: you have been quiet, is everythign alright?

YN: yes everything is fine. just going over the list and making sure we dont need to have the lawn people do any extra tasks while we are gone.

jared: why do you think we forgot something?

YN: its just a feeling. but its nothing to worry about. now when we get there i assume that we are gonne have a tour and a chance to unpack before we decide our first vacation activity.

Jared: i also hope you dont mind sharing a room with me. its a little 5 bedroom cottage but the 3rd, 4th and 5th rooms are supposed to be guest rooms. they only has a cot and no closet. we are just waiting on a few parts to be reno’d in there.

YN: i think i can live with this arrangement. thom i assume is gonna be in a room close by.

Jared: yep he is at one end of the hall we are at the other. you know when i called you all those months ago, asking you to fly out here to help me, i was ready to give up on finding someone to help me take care of the house and Thom. but your ad made me have hope that maybe you would be the one that would save me.

YN: i think i know what darkness follows you but i wont know forsure until i can run a test.

Jared: what kind of test

YN: one that would need to be done when Thom is asleep. one that i hope will either prove me right or prove me a liar. that is if your willing to try.

Jared: im willing to try anything.

YN: well then we will try it tonight after Thom goes to bed.

neither of you had realized how much time had passed, then you saw a sign. Jared smiled.

Jared: we are close now.

YN: that sign that i just saw is that where we are going?

Jared: yep. once you se the place you will understand why i got it. and i sound proofed the master, just in case...

he winked at you as he slowed down at the edge of a driveway. he then guided your gaze to look ahead at the cottage that now stod before you.

Thom woke up shortly after you had pulled him out of the car. he rubbed his eyes and smiled as he ran toward the house, screaming happily as he approached the steps. where he waited for you and Jared.

you both brought what you could while still having hands to open the door and help Thom up the stairs. jared unlocked the door allowing you and thom to walk through first. your eyes went wide at the first glance of your home away from home with Jared and Thom.

this was gonna be an amazing vacation. you put down what you carried, as well as let go of Thom who was running around looking at everything. you spun round and somehow landed in the arms of Jared.

Jared: what do you think?

YN: what do i think.. this is amazing. i love this. this is incredible. i wouldnt trade this vacation for anything. honestly i would rather be no where else. im quite happy here.

Jared: as in this home or my arms.

YN: both. jared, i i...

just as your about to speak again. you and jared are interrupted by thom coming out of a nearby room half dressed.

Thom: daddy, YN can we go swimming now...

jared set you back on your feet and you both laughed.

Jared: in a few moments bud we gotta find the swim suits first.

as Jared said that the attendants brought up the luggage. you looked at Jared who just smiled and whispered in your ear.

Jared: you have the summer off to relax for 6 weeks. just be normal with me and Thom. these next hours could prove several things for us. starting with lets take Thom swimming and then go from there. we will hopefully eat when we return. the attendants are already preparing supper.

you could do nothing except smile. it was already turning into a really steamy vacay. you went to where you saw jared going through your shared suitcase. first chance you got you grabbed your bikini and cover.

you went into the nearby spare room closing the door behind you. you get changed, you could hear Jared ask one of the attendants to take Thom to find him a life jacket from the boat house. then you heard silence.

then you heard the sound of the door knob turning, you were only half done tying your bikini. when Jared walked in shirtless and wearing his swim trunks.

Jared: need help?

you froze in place at his words it was like your actions were not your own. it was a few seconds after that you felt his hands around your waist sliding slowly up your back.

Jared: i wish we had this place to ourselves. we would not be leaving that master suite for a while.

YN: i wish Thom was asleep so i could take away your darkness.

Jared: so you know what it is...

YN: yes and i need you alone when i take away the darkness, Thom would be in too much danger. dont worry you will be darkness free soon. you will be back in the light and free to live your live happy with me and Thom. im not gonna let this darkness ruin your life any longer. tonight it gets banished.

Jared: just gotta tire Thom out enough that he will sleep tonight.

YN: well then lets not keep him waiting any longer.

you and jared walk outside and down the path to the lake. you were amazed at the wonder and beauty before you. bout halfway to the lake, you were pressed against the back side of a nearby tree. Jared’s eyes darkened at the sight of you, the feeling of your body beneath his hands had him hard, you could feel it against your lower back.

Jared: once Thom is gone to bed, I'm gonna make Jared watch through his own eyes as I fuck you into next week. Jared will never inhabit his body again.

You struggled slightly before speaking.

YN: i address the entity within, who are you?

Jared’s form just smiled evily at you, his hands still freely roaming your body.

YN: well you should also know that you wont live long enough to fuck me into next week. im gonna expell you from Jared’s body and send you back where you came from. now i command thee for all that light brings give me Jared back immediately.

once you finished speaking Jared’s body fell to his knees, you kneel down to only be hugged by Jared.

Jared: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

YN: don't worry, just calm down. That demon is gonna be gone when I do the ritual. Take a few moments to breathe, I'm gonna go sit on the dock where the attendant is in the shallows with thom. Just take your time.

You placed a kiss to his cheek, then walked the rest of the way to the lake. Upon arrival at the lake, you watched the attendant and Thom, playing in the shallow water.

Attendant: miss YN. Where is Master Jared?

YN: he will be along shortly he just wanted to check his messages make sure everything is running smoothly.

Attendant: then I shall stay down here with you both till he arrives. How do you like the place Miss?

Yn: it's gorgeous. I love it. I have never been invited to go on any type of vacation. Not even in my own family. So this was a really awesome surprise.

Attendant: that is so sad... Well to many more times like this then. Thom here is a amazing little kiddo, you have been working so hard master Jared just wanted to give you a vacation you wouldn't soon forget.

Thom meanwhile was just enjoying the water, his expression had a huge smile on it. He was wet head to toe and absolutely having fun!

You kept waiting on the dock for Jared to approach and for 10 min he didn't till you, looked and saw his form approach.

you sat on the dock and felt him slide down behind you, his legs are on either side of yours, his arms round your waist. you both sat there enjoying the view while Thom played with the attendant in the water below. neither you nor Jared felt like moving knowing that in a few hours you both would be expelling the demonic force that lay now dormant inside Jared.

Jared: do you know what is better than sitting here on the dock.

YN: what

Jared: sitting on the dock with you surrounded by nature, this will be the best vacation ever once we get rid of the demon.

~time skip to a few hours later. after some swimming you all went back to the house for dinner. after dinner you guys played a game or 2 with Thom who then went with one of the attendants and had a bath, then it was time to put him to sleep. you and Jared read him a story, then he fell fast asleep. for he truely was tuckered out, you and Jared dismissed the attendants and locked the doors for the evening. you both went to the master suite as we return to the story.~

YN: i need to set something up first can you wait like 5 minutes before you enter the bathroom. oh and dont plan on showering in your trunks, and bring towels with you. i have a feeling like we will need them when we are done.

Jared: ill see you in there.

you walk towards the bathroom, holding the prayer beeds in one hand and un doing your bikini in the other. you placed the bikini on the ground and set your phone on the counter.

YN: Exorcizo te, creatura aquae. In nomine dei patris omnipotentis et in virtute spiritus sancti.

you finished the incantation and placed the rosery on the shower head so it lands in the water. then you took one look out the window and just let the water run over your body.

Jared walks in with nothing on he places the towels on the counter, you see him out of the corner of your eye.

Yn: join me?

Jared didn't need an invitation he was already climbing in behind you. For he knew that this was the only way to expell the demon.

You turned around and now faced him, you looked up at him holding his gaze you move him round so he is under the water.

His body starts shaking that's when you spoke again.

Yn: please let this work...

You had him lift you up so he was holding you as you slid down onto his cock, and spoke the incantation that hopefully would save his life. In other words bring his light fuller to push away the darkness.

Also there was a Devils trap in the floor where jard was standing you had the attendantz draw one, for the demon to be sent straight back to hell. With a clear voice the following words were spoken by you.

Yn: exorcisomus te, omnis immunus spirits, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarri, omnis legio, omnis congregato, insectas diabolicas, ergo dracto malidicte, eclesium secura fascious liberate, te regamous, audinos

At that point black smoke came out of Jared's mouth, and went straight through the floor. When Jared looked at you again his eyes were clear and he leaned you against the wall.

He began thrusting his hard cock in and out of your pussy. It was something that both of you had dreamed about for months.

His hard cock pounding your sensitive tender pussy. With each thrust you climaxed. But it was the kisses that left you both breathless.

The more he thrust the more he came. After 45 minutes and 16 climaxes for the both of you.

Jared set you down, helped you rinse off, both of you getting out after Jared turned off the water, Jared wrapped a towel round you, then he dried himself off.

Jared: thank you. Thank you for saving my life. But where did you learn to do that.

YN: too much research on the paranormal. I knew something was off and when that demon named himself I knew what I had to do.

Jared: would you consider making your time here a role more permenant than just a nanny?

YN: what kind of role would that be?

you are immediately pickd up and placed on the bed with Jared crawling on top of you. he made love to you for a few moments before just curling up with you in his arms and muttered only 2 words before he crashed.

Jared: marry me

you used voice command to turn out the lights before passing out yourself. when you both woke the next morning with just a sheet covering your still cuddling forms. you blinked a bit before moving a piece of Jared’s hair out of his eyes.

it was a few moments later that Jared stirred.

YN: morning handsome.

Jared: that was the best ive slept in years.

YN: do you remember saying anything after we hit the pillow last night.

Jared twists away from you for a moment and pulls something out of one of the drawers in his nightstand, before coming back to your embrace.

Jared: all this time i felt empty and now i want nothing more than to have you stay permenantly. YN will you partner with me in raising Thom full time, not as a nanny but as a step mom to him. YN i believ i already asked you this but will you marry me?

he reveals a small rose gold band with a 15k diamond in the center surrounded by your birthstone and Jareds birth stone. this made you nod alot, trying to find your voice as the cool metal band slid on your finger.

YN: yes! yes yes yes!!!! but umm does this mean we dont have to leave this bed right away.

Jared: i think that can be arranged besides its still early. its only 6am... we are still on work time.

going back to cuddle mode you admired your new ring as Jared now once more wraped your form in his own, your leg draped over his hip and you guys were basically a free range pretzel. so to speak. it became the start of the life you always wanted something permenant and stable. not loose and ragged.

goes to show love strikes when you least expect it.

#spnkinkbingo #spnfluffbingo

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lochnessliv · 4 years

Text

this is just a rant about finances and insurance and people pleasing feel free to keep scrolling

ok so i havent gotten work insurance straightened out but in the meantime i CANNOT afford to pay for the old insurance policy i had (literally 5x the price every month). so ive called to try to cancel my policy. and every time im either on hold for hours and eventually need to hang up and go to work, or else they say “our wait time is over an hour, do you want us to hold your spot in line and call you back?” and then they never call me back.

the thing is ive been wrestling with HR at work on one end and trying to get my old insurance to pick up the phone so i can cancel at the other end........and its been going on for over a month which i just realized because old insurance pulled their payment from my bank account and it over drafted because work has ALSO been paying me in weird increments on top of their not being enough money even if i DID have my paycheck all at once.

work is still doing that thing where they guilt me into helping out at the second location and it means that i work two or three days a week at the OG hotel and then two or three days a week at the second hotel. second hotel’s paychecks are on the opposite two week schedule. so the way its worked out is i get half a paycheck on friday and the other half the next friday. in the meantime i still have bills and payments coming out of that account. so its a constant game of weird catch-up and theres hardly anything left over to add to the next payment. i want to stop going to the second hotel very badly but its technically closer to my house and my manager keeps telling THEIR manager that its up to me and hes not making our schedule until i talk to her. so im out of professional excuses. i cant say the commute is too much longer or that OG hotel needs me because she knows both arent true and like. its a pandemic! what, do i have plans every weekday afternoon that somehow only affects scheduling when she needs shifts covered?

so basically i dont like the work im doing and its resulting in a terrible pay system that gives me too-small amounts of money on a wildly inconvenient schedule and its not enough to cover the insurance i was only still scrambling to pay because the full time job i took had an HR fuck up and is trying to deny me healthcare over it.

anyway i think im gonna dispute the transaction with my bank because they respond faster than the insurance company and hopefully “ive called dozens of times and when i say im trying to cancel my policy they will not answer the phone” will get the insurance to drop me and the bank to refund my money. but i cant dispute the transaction yet! because its still pending! because theres not money in the account to pay it! because IM BROKE. it drained the $100 left in my account that was supposed to be my gas and coffee money for like two days until the stimulus hit. anyway im fully waiting on this stimulus deposit to temporarily fix my life. hopefully tomorrow.

#i have to work at secondary hotel with a caffeine headache now

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

Note

oooh! i love when lessons are cancelled! and shopping can be quite fun too!!

i've been lurking around, been too shy to send in asks lately, but i have put on my brave pants today :)

i haven't been up to too much, but i've been hanging out with my best friend for the past week at her house! it's so much fun!! i don't see her as often because she goes to uni 5 hours away from me. and i have to go back home tomorrow :(

~🥕

AH NO DONT BE SHY!! i dont bite!! i dont even make a scratch, thats how non-intimidating i am

awh thats so much fun!! try to make the most of the time you have left before you have to go back!! also tell them how much you appreciate their company! i havent seen my best friend in like,,, maybe a month and a half?? and we barely talk but both of us have been busy with school but AAAAAH i miss her so fucking much so im probably gonna meet her on sunday to celebrate ^^

BUT YEAH give them a niiiice hug and AH make them feel loved >~<

#🥕 anon #Cherrymail🍒

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wackapedia · 5 years

Text

The Void Inside My Heart

Youve been dating Ben for months. You havent had a serious talk on your relationship but you assumed you both were exclusive. Ben was yet to ask you to move im with him, which was fine with you because you didnt want to go too fast. He was a movie star, after all.

Ben left for New York a week ago. He didnt really explain why.

"Is it work?" You asked when he told you he was leaving on such short notice.

"Kind of." He said while packing a bag.

Fortunately your boss had given you a long weekend and you decided to spend it with Ben. Without his knowledge, you arrive at his hotel. You find him sitting on the dining area of the posh place. He was with someone. A woman.

You knew her from several magazines, she was a model.

You tried to keep the negative thoughts away as you forced yourself to walk closer to him. Your legs wouldnt budge.

Later you would think this as a blessing in disguise because Ben leans over to kiss the lovely blonde model. You started to walk away.

You didnt cry. All you felt was a tight pain in your chest. You wanted to cry but no tears would come from your eyes. The sharp ache was all you can feel.

You didnt know anyone from New York. It was an hour until midnight. You didnt have friends or relatives who live here. But you do know a friend of Ben.

Joe.

Joe Mazzello was Ben's best friend but youve only spoke to him on three occasions at most. Usually they were at loud parties where you can barely hear yourselves over the blaring music. You can tell he was a funny man with all the instagram goofs he posts with Ben.

You called him and tried your best to explain what happened over the phone. Your voice was surprisingly calm and steady, but your hands could barely grip the phone to your ear. Thankfully, Joe wasnt busy and came to pick you up in about five minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked as soon as you settle yourself in his car.

"I dont know. Im not sure if theres anything to talk about." You replied.

Joe assumed that you were in shock so he left it at that. The rest of the drive was quiet.

You arrive at his house. The walls were painted green and there were framed movie posters around the living room. Joe led you to a guestroom where you placed your bag. He pointed where the bathroom, the kitchen, and his room was, in case you needed anything. You thanked him for his kindness.

"Its no big deal. I'll see you in the morning." He smiled. The pain in your chest dissipates a little.

You fall into a dreamless sleep.

In the morning, you wake and realize that last night wasnt a nightmare. You still couldnt bring yourself to cry over what had happened and you couldnt explain why.

You quickly fixed yourself and headed to the kitchen where Joe was preparing breakfast. He was such a jolly person. The moment he noticed you had walked up to the kitchen, he gave you a smile that could melt your heart.

It made you smile.

The sun was blasting through a large window in Joe's living room. You took your time to enjoy the scene before you. It was so peaceful. You notice Joe's reflection from the glass window. He was looking at you. You turn from the window to face him. He had such a lovely face.

"I"m sorry." He speaks calmly.

"For staring?" You tried to answer cheerfully.

"About you and Ben. You didnt deserve that." He remorsefully answers.

You close your eyes to collect your thoughts.

"You can talk to me, you know. You have to let it all out or it will choke you from the inside." Joe offers as he sits on the sofa.

"It's just that... I dont feel anything. I'm feeling nothing. Is that normal?" You face him.

"Of course thats normal. Its valid to feel numb especially with what youre going through." Joe kindly explains.

"Okay." You say. The conversation diffuses.

Joe was about to leave the room when you spoke again "I really like talking to you, Joe. It's just that, I think, there's nothing to talk about regarding last night."

Joe walks back to sit on the sofa.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He says while picking up the remote from the table. You agree.

A text from Ben alerts your phone saying he will be home tomorrow night. Your flight was tomorrow morning. You decided to ignore your phone for the rest of the day.

After several movies and a box of pizza, you fell asleep beside Joe on the sofa. It was late at night. Joe looks at your peaceful face before softly nudging you awake. You looked into Joe's eyes that were looking deeply into yours. He moved to floor to face you, lying on the sofa. For the first time in days, a tear finally slipped from your eyes.

"I don't want to go." You spoke before you could even understand this sentiment.

But Joe understood this.

"I know confrontations can be hard but they're healthy." His eyes drift down your lips.

But it wasn't that. You wanted to stay here with Joe. He radiates a feeling you get whenever you're in proximity. You don't know what it is.

You reach out your hand to touch his cheek. He closes his eyes. Your hand moves to the back of his neck to pull him closer to your face. He kisses you. It felt right.

The next day, Joe drops you off at the airport. He was wearing a plain white shirt and dark green pants and some brown ray-bans perched on his nose. His smile was sunny. You pick up your bag and wave him goodbye before entering the gate.

You had the most refreshing sleep you've ever had in years. You slept beside Joe last night. Plain sleeping, no funny business involved.

You couldn't even sleep in the plane because you had a healthy rest last night.

You arrive home. The entire place felt dull. In a few hours, Ben will arrive in your city and will most definitely drop by your place. You decide to have dinner elsewhere since you didn't feel like cooking.

Ben surprisingly arrives sooner than expected. You were still in the shower when you hear him enter. His luggage wheels roll through your room. "Y/n I'm home!" He yells. "I'm in the shower!" You yell back.

After a few minutes, you get dressed to meet him.

"What is this?" He points to your packed bag with an LGA New York Airport sticker.

"I went to New York." You answer simply.

"What were you doing there?" He sounded agitated.

"I went there to see you but you were busy." You avoided looking at him, pretending to fix something on your dresser.

"Where did you stay? Why didn't you tell me you were there?" He stood closer to you.

"You were busy so I stayed with Joe." You finally looked into his eyes

"Joe? Mazzello? "

"Yes"

"Why would you-"

"Because I saw you with her."

His mouth clamped shut.

"If it makes you feel better, Joe and I made out too."

Anger lit up Ben's eyes. His fists clench. How dare he gets angry over this?

Before he could speak, you sharply spoke

"Get out of my house, Ben."

A/n: This was supposed to be dramatic but it turned out to be bland and boring but it had to be written sorry also i was half asleep when i wrote this i needed to justify my numbness lol

#ben hardy x reader #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello #ben hardy #joe mazzello imagine

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moonshxdows · 6 years

Text

book 2 trailer analysis

ill be posting some screencaps of the trailer sometime tomorrow as well so keep an eye out!

AAAAAAAAAAA ITS HERE!!!!!!

okay so a quick rewatch before I go through it frame by frame and just. god im so excited i love this show so much

anyways everything's gonna be under the cut bc its long and spoilery if u havent seen the trailer yet

okay so the opening clip looks like its in a human town. dragang is being chased across the bridge by some angry humans with pitchforks. raylas wearing the human cape. they got caught?

some clips from s1

okay. ezran ellis and zym are outside this white building. its shaped similarly to the star elf buildings we see later on. did they have to sit out some stuff that rayla and callum got to see? or is this like. lujanne's house or something

the fire (?) dragon is coming down on "a town of katolis" that soren is in. im assuming this isnt near the castle and claudia is there but out of frame, so did they get caught up in something on accident or were the dragons drawn to them because of the spell? lujanne recognized it, the dragons might too

wife (sunfire knight)

if my blog wasnt more cool toned that would be my new header oh my god

in the upper left corner of the screen theres a castle. there aren't any human kingdoms that are on the banks of a lava waterfall so is that an elf castle? or is this the place where all the royals got that fire background?

im dumb thats probably a halfway castle and the lava river is the border i forgot they said border over this

fuck off vitriol

elves attacking amaya and her squadron. these are likely the sunfire elves at the border, since amaya is also at the border. the castle in the last shot is probably more of a fortress

wife kicking ass! w her cool ass sword

something i noticed about the sunfire elves, or at least the warriors. the headdresses they wear are actually armor to protect their horns! they also have markings/tattoos like moonshadow elves, but they seem less elaborate (at least on their face)

does this mean horns are as important in all elf races or just sunfire elf races?

opeli ur the only bitch in this house i trust. is viren keeping the missions w the brodigies under wraps or does opeli think that's not enough?

boat! are they on their way to evenere?

awe

star elf bitch there u are u sexy bastard. zi @moonxadia made a fantastic theory on that elf here, but tl;dr that's elarion being shady (as much as ive liked the aaravos theories i dont think thats him)

viren being shady (spell had similar look as star elf from last clip)

RAYLA I MISSED YOU

zym i would die for you

the background to that looks interesting- are they having a big dinner of some sort?

ik other people have said this but that's definetly runaans strike crew from early s1. the very dead strike crew. zombie elves!

also if they touch a hair on aanyas head i Will Cry she looks so small in that throne...

(altho they dont really seem to be attacking her at all?)

okay so i know people have been saying the on fire shot are elves but i really dont think so. none of them have horns or the sunfire headdresses. i think that's a human army

AZYMONDIAS THE FUTURE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE WORLD I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU IN A HEARTBEAT

(its another moon moth. same one as from earlier in the trailer?)

so in the shot of dragang on The Bird, callum looks really upset. like, seriously upset. this might be part of a joke bc hes holding bait, but im worried

ezran baby boy. hes so worried

zym!!!! i love you!!!!!!!

these pillars look real cool. is this a magic place?

okay so runaans deceased elf crew again, but pre-zombification (or post?) did lujanne summon them? is it a moon elf thing? why are they stars? is it a star elf clearing?

so zoom out, theyre in these... gazebos? made of starlight? nothing to comment it just looks real cool

hey claudia maybe... not.

im very concerned that when claudia said "you take creatures that are born with magic inside and squeeze it out of them" it panned over zym briefly

callum looked concerned so im hoping its a flashback of some sort? but they look like theyre in an elf place... idk. im worried about him this season

i know i said what i said but dark magic claudia is hot

wtf was that thing tho

rayla is suspicious™ (and she should be tbh)

sword fight!! im both excited and scared

callum is having a rough time and i want to hug him

thankfully raylas there

so a lot of people have said this but i do think thats because of harrow, not the dark magic. idk why i think that but. shrug

so i wanna talk about the audio playing over these last few bullets real quick. rayla says they cant trust soren and claudia, followed immediately by lujanne saying "real trust is about accepting the dark parts we will never know" which makes me curious. did brodigies and catch up with dragang while they were still with lujanne? since the group splits sometime during the season

if it is the case im curious how theyre gonna go from hating elves to being in a traveling party with 2 of them and a baby dragon

and if thats not the case, what is lujanne talking about?

wait i just had a really horrible thought what if they lied to win dragang's trust and rayla is the only one that's suspicious

moving on,

rayla and callum both look Real Concerned wtf are they talking about

so it looks like lujanne is leading callum to some Elf Thing; maybe its right before she shows him the star elf ghosts? it does look to be around sunset

DRAGON QUEEN???

even if its not tHATS THE POSTER DRAGON HELLO!!!!

rayla i will never not love you

EZRAN I WILL NEVER NOT LOVE YOU

sarai Hes Not Worth It

im excited about flashbacks though 👀

hello lord voltron. perish.

okay so thats the same fire dragon from earlier, but w its face all cut up. soren was prepared to go sword vs dragon and i think he won

"watch yo fuckin dog bitch" "he dont bite" "yES HE DO"

thats the vibe coming from that wolf/badger thing. also that guy screaming at the cat in his backyard

but fr what is that

thunder kinda looks like voldemort from this angle ngl

okay. okay. dark magic callum is a go

buddy what the FUCK do you think youre doing

ive seen some things saying that he's being controlled but i dont think so. i think he listened to claudia and im very curious to see how this affects his relationship with rayla

i think he was missing being the mage? which is why he tried to learn primal magic from lujanne but failed ultimately

depending on the theory, i wonder how people will spin half-elf!callum for this

i dont actually know if elves can even use dark magic fjnshfk like i assume they can but?? who knows

fire golem?? and who has the sword

my bad theres soren v dragon i thought it was earlier

mr fire dragon sir how the fuck did you lose. you have teeth? claws? wings? presumably fire powers?

AAAAAAAAAA TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!

#book 2 trailer #tdp spoilers #tdp everyone #mine #meta #tdp #the dragon prince #im probably missing tags but idc

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mypaleheartdisorder · 5 years

Text

I used to get this kind of sadness where everything was going to be fine tomorrow. Now I thought about it I think thats my definition of happiness in which the nightsleep could cure everything. I miss that.

Today I woke up feeling the same way I ended my day yesterday. Tears were stil fresh over the night, waiting to be replaced.

I dont know anything. Am I a burden to you? Do you keep me in your mind the way my mind keeps you? Do you even miss me? Yeah I dont know. I just know you like to make decisions very quickly. Suspicious.

So starting from this point, everyone has been falling down. One by one.

Hey, we’ve been friends for a lot of time now. But I see we’ve grown apart. I mean, its not your fault, im boring, im sure the 27 other friends you have now make you laugh a lot more. I dont think you should bring them when im meeting YOU, though. Wtf. I specially like that one you bringed last time, who ignored me for solid 5 minutes till you intruduced him to me (and the rest of the time basically).

You guys... I like yall. Its only that im not part of you. I guess being excluded its what i deserve, since me being with yall for a long time doesnt work very well. That makes me exhausted, and depressed. And then I cant help to hate myself with all the passion on earth.

I dont know if you keep me as a close friend anymore. Im not dedicated. Im just too lazy and isolating to keep the place. Other people deserve it better, so its okay, they can take it. Anyone would be able to talk with you better than I do.

You get on my nerves sometimes. Its true, you are selfish. But i like you. I really do. Thank u for staying.

And for the last one, or better, returning to the first one of them all: i hate you. Do you think it was easy for me to shut my fucking mouth up? Do you know what it takes? It takes me to hurt myself. It takes my confidence to shit levels. And i did it. Becouse i fucking loved you. So I was the problem. “Everything I think is shit. I should close my mouth with a bunch of safety pins. So i dont loose him.” And then, when i thought i could finally secure you in my arms with the beautiful changes I did to myself it turns out you hate it. You H A T E M E. I had the fault. Again. “Everything its my fault, huh” “I should fucking die, that looks like the only thing I could do properly” and I had to change again. Now you seem to like me... Yeah this is cool :), if you ever learned. A few weeks ago, in a breakdown i tried to reach you. Not a pleasant conversation. I guess the best thing you can say to the person you have broken its heart and who is coming to you as her only person who she confortably feels with and who really misses you from the bottom of her heart is that she is using you becouse everyone else has and somehow she has the fault of it even though you haven’t really talked in weeks? Yeah. It looks like I have the fault of everything.

After four of you have cancelled our plans four times in a row, i learned which was my place. Alone, crying in my bed. It was specially remarkable those who told me you were in a festival, and when I came up, you where gone. I love being the lonely person in partys. I fucking love it.

Haven’t made the effort in half a month. Id rather feel depressive in my house.

My father has selled our car. I havent been able to go to the camp. And which is worst, ill have to abandon scouts for at least a year. If my life wasn’t enough, money is here to destroy anything left.

Anything’s gonna change. I’ll start 2nd of bachillerato in a month feeling empty. I’ll have to deal with all the fucking stress feeling empty. I’ll have the extra pressure of having to pass the exam hundreds of people take for one of the 40 places there are in the university. My imsomnia will come again and my self-love is going to get even more fucked up becouse i really cant be around people for 6 hours a day 5 days a week for 9 months. And Ill have to do it without anyone to support me. Ill have to do it alone.

I love my fucking summer.

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silkkpopbonnet · 6 years

Text

Dilemma

“So, basically he’s like get your ass home now, you’ve played around enough in the US.” Yeon, sat back rubbing her eyes, wondering why she just didn’t tell her dad no.

He paid for her college that’s why.

“Basically. I have to go home, and finish there and who knows.” She sighed, looking out the window to the city of Atlanta.

“But, do you want to go, that’s the thing.” Her friend, reached across the table taking her hand.

“No, but my dad is Korean.” She laughed softly. “So, I kinda have no choice, and my mom agrees with him.” She finished her coffee, and rolled her eyes, wishing her mother would have pushed for her to stay in the states.

She loved Korea, she loved the States; but she always felt a bit freer here. Standing up, her 5′5″ frame was lithe, but she had hips and an ass. That she got from her mother, she tossed her mid-back length 3B curls behind her and donned a pair of Gucci shades.

“I leave in three days, he didn’t give me time to do shit. Movers will be here tomorrow, I get on the plane, and go. So, there go all my summer plans. Good thing is though, he’s letting you come with me. Two weeks in Seoul, what do you think?”

Her friend, jumped up from her spot, clapping her hands excitedly. “YES! Oh my god, what do I pack? What should I wear?”

Yeon smiled. “We’ll figure that out later.”

Yeon washed her hands in the bathroom aboard the airplane. She made the water as hot as she could stand it, needing something to take her mind off the fact that they had been flying for 8 hours already. She wanted to run and jump, she needed to stretch her legs. Her hair in a messy bun on her head, she looked at herself in the half steamed mirror and sighed. How was she going to fit back in Korea? She had sometimes unruly curly hair that wasn’t a very common sight on a Korean woman, her copper skin, held two very Asian eyes Most people told her, her eyes looked like Kimora Lee Simmons. Plump lips, brown eyes, her figure was slightly curvy, she pushed together her 34B breasts and wondered if her breasts were also too large? Probably not. She was going to be…different. That much was certain.

“Are you ok?” A soft voice at the door asked her in Korean.

“Yes, thank you.”She answered, almost bowing before she remembered she couldn’t be seen.

Speaking in strictly Korean, unless she was around her parents, something else, she was going to have to get used to again. She hated being different, she hated people looking at her like she had a third eyeball. Grunting, she opened the bathroom door, walking back to her seat.

“You ok, Yeon?” Her friend asked her, barely waking up from her nap.

“I’m ready to get off this damn plane. My legs are killing me.” She signaled for the waitress.

“Girl, your short ass is fine, I’m 5′8″ I’m the one suffering.” Her buddy, turned in her seat, snuggling in the cushions of first class, sleeping again.

Would she be fine? She wasn’t so sure.

As soon as the plane landed, both girls stretched and yawned. It was afternoon in Seoul, South Korea, and all Yeon thought about now was sleep. A sign was posted for her, Ms. Hyo Park Yeon as they came down the elevator, and she rolled her eyes, thinking to herself. ‘Wow, thanks parents, don’t even come to the airport.’

“You have an escort? What a driver too?” Her friend chuckled and Yeon bit her lip and tried to figure out, what she hadn’t told her friend already.

“Ms. Hyo.” He already knew her face, and she gave a slight bow saying hello, giving him their bags.

“This is it, the rest, was delivered here already.” With a nod of his head, the man leads the way outside, and out into the bright sunshine. The girls donned their shades, and Marcella looked around, looking quite the tourist, while Yeon ignored the urge.

He leads them both to a car, a sleek black Audi A8 L. Opening the door for them, the girls slid into the cool, cream-colored interior, chilled water bottles waiting for them.

“This car is nice, man did your dad spare any expenses?” Marcella, rubbed a hand along the seats, watching as the driver got in the front seat.

“This isn’t a Bentley, so I’m going to say, yes.” Yeon laid her head back against the seat, getting ready mentally for her best friend to choke her. “I have to tell you something, Marcella.”

The car pulled away, and Marcella was looking out the window. “Mhm.”

“So, my dad is a CEO…you know that.”

“Yea.”

“My mother is an interpreter for his company now. His interpreter. My grandfather, my mother’s father was a doctor.”

Marcella’s eyes turned to slits as she looked at Yeon. “You parents are loaded aren’t they?”

“I don’t really know about all that. I’ve had to work for anything, I’ve ever received, and maintain a strict GPA, you know I don’t flaunt a bunch of shit.”

“Just say it! Why didn’t you tell me!” Marcella punched her arm lightly. “I’m actually kind of hurt. I’m your best friend.”

Yeon let her head fall. “I learned the hard way, about friends who are friends because of money. Not that you're one of them! I just prefer not to be like that. I’m not stuck up and snobby, and Paris Hilton like.”

“Don’t you think I know that dummy? I know who you are. TBH, I kind always knew I think. Tell me more about your parents though.”

Yeon smiled, thanking god that was easier than she thought it would be. She explained that her father always had money, he inherited the company from his father. Her mother had to scrape and earn every penny, her grandfather believed in a hard day's work. He came from nothing, her parents were polar opposites. Her mother was gifted when it came to languages, she spoke 6 fluently, but Korean was not one of them. Her mother was working as an interpreter for another company when she met her father. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Still makes me gag a little when he says, my mom had the brownest skin he ever saw, and all he thought about doing was rubbing his face against her legs.” She said playfully, she knew her father worshiped her mother.

Her mother didn’t speak Korean, and her father didn’t speak English, however, they both spoke Chinese. They went out on a few dates, and he made a decision to marry her, boom there she was.

“They should write a book about that,” Marcella answered, taking a sip of her water.

“Probably.” Yeon looked out the window. “This is my house.”

Marcella gasped as the gate opened to a large black and cream colored home, The gate opened to a yard, the glass front of the home, showed into the living room, around the side, there was a cement driveway, and a garage for the cars. The door was opened for them, and Marcella and Yeon walked up the pathway leading from the driveway to the front of the house. It was arched, with large dark wooden doors, and Yeon rung the bell, waiting.

“Of course, you remember how to say hello in Korean. My father’s English is still a bit rough.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Marcella asked, rolling her eyes.

Yeon smiled, and the door opened up, her mother standing there in her apron smiling wide. “My baby is home!” She threw her arms around Yeon, hugging her tight before grabbing Marcella hugging her as well.

“Marcella, I’m happy to have you in our home.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hyo.” She bowed at her.

“Oh please, call me Jasmine.” She ushered the girls into the house. “I know, Y'all are probably tired, but I have been cooking for Y'all. A mix of southern food and Korean.”

Her mother yelled in Korean, for her father, smiling back at the girls. “He’s going to play all tough baby, but you know he missed you. That’s why he wasted no time.” Her mother hugged her again, and this time Yeon held on tight.

She forgot how her mother smelled like cloves and her favorite Prada perfume. Her mother’s tight 4a coils tickled her nose. “I missed you, Ma.”

“I have too, we haven’t seen you in a year.” Letting her, go her mother turned towards the stairs, as her father came down them. The foyer of the home, had dark hardwood floors, contrasting against the light gray of the walls, and the cream of the carpet that lined the stairs.

“Park Yeon.” He said her name, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

Yeon walked over, bowing deeply, saying hello to her father in Korean. “Abeoji, I missed you.”

Her father’s wrinkled forehead smoothed over and he broke into a smile, hugging his little girl tightly. “My family is whole again.” He kissed her face several times, before letting go, and he also grabbed Marcella into a hug.

“Marcella, I’m glad you could join us for a while.” Marcella smiled, looking shy.

“Thank you for the vacation, Mr. Hyo.” He waved a hand dismissively at her.

“You are like a sister to my baby, call me abeoji.” Marcella tested the word on her tongue, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Her father, shooed both girls upstairs, informing Yeon that her things would be there, in 3-4 days. Yeon showed Marcella the guest room, and how to use the shower. “Just come in my room when you're done.”

Yeon walked into her room, it was almost the same way she left it. Old EXO posters on the wall, on a cork board. A few American bands on the other side, she had a new computer, new bed, new bedding. Her vanity in front of her bay window. She could decorate as she wanted later, she supposed, but she didn’t even want to live in her parents' house. For goodness sake, she was 20 years old, but her father probably didn’t want her living on her own either. This was going to be hard. She showered, conditioning her hair, and finger de-tangling as she let the water run down her back. She washed her face free of the makeup she wore. She had forgotten to put on a primer, and setting powder so she knew she skin probably looked oily. After she was finished, she wrapped her head in a towel, sitting down at her vanity. She didn’t feel like dealing with her hair, so she set to start doing large twists.

Marcella knocked once, letting herself inside. “I’m glad I got my hair done, before coming because I would not be in the doing it now.”

She looked up at Marcella in the mirror, her friend's shoulder length box braids now held secure in a wrap on her head. “Help me then, I ain’t trying to be here all day.”

Marcella set to rubbing olive oil into the strands, before twisting them with twist cream on her fingers. Both girls finished, Yeon stood u, grabbing a scarf from the hook near her door, and wrapped her hair into a pineapple, before she set out to get dressed.

“Another struggle is finding good hair care products.” Yeon pulled on a purple V-neck shirt that said ‘J’adore’ on the front over her head.

“Your mama is natural, what do you mean?” Marcella looked at her posters. “Chanyeol was still fine as hell in these pics.”

“That’s like right after their debut. She is but she goes into Seoul, to get her hair done. You know I’m picky.” Marcella nodded, still looking over the pictures.

The girls made their way downstairs, where Mrs. Hyo was setting the table. The girls settled themselves on cushions on the floor, as her father made his way in, sitting down at the head of the table.

“How was the flight?” He asked in Korean.

Her mother came in with a gallon of juice, and cups. “English please, we have a guest.” Just as her father was about to protest, she held up a hand sitting down. “Your English is fine, you just never really try. I refuse to translate.”

“Yes, yes, umma.” He replied taking some rice from a large bowl.

“It was long. Fine though.” Yeon answered, Marcella, agreeing with her.

They ate and talked, laughing about what had happened lately in Atlanta or Korea. Inside, Yeon smiled this was good, she had forgotten how much she missed home. How much she missed really good kimchi and her mothers fried chicken. Her mother rolled her eyes at her fathers bad jokes.

“You can have the summer to do as you will, school starts back in September, everything is taken care of Yeon.” Her father spoke, looking at her stuff more kimchi into her mouth.

Thanks, dad, I’m just wondering how I will fit in.” He shrugged at her, chewing his rice.

“You will be fine, you are my daughter. Besides, concentrate on school, not a social life.” Yeon took a sip of her juice, sighing.

“I’m a young dad, I have to have a social life.” She put another piece of chicken on Marcella’s plate as she spoke.

Her father put his chopsticks down on his plate. “I have a remedy for that soon enough. For now, don’t worry, so much, you’ll get wrinkles.”

Her mother shook her head at the two. After lunch, Yeon and Marcella went to their rooms to nap, while her mother cleared dishes with her father.

He stood in the kitchen watching his wife. “Friday then?”

“I actually don’t think this is a good idea at all right now.” She washed the last of the plates, putting them in them in the dish drainer.

“Why not?” He came to stand behind his wife, her short frame nestling against his.

“It’s sneaky. You bring her here, to finish school, but you have an ulterior motive.” Her mother turned in her father’s arms to look at him.

“I’m making sure, our daughter is secure in life.” Sighing, Mrs. Hyo, moved from her husband’s grasp.

“I know. I just…let her see if she likes him or not. I wasn’t forced with you.” Mr. Hyo crossed to where his wife now stood, and took her chin in his hand.

“She will like him, trust me. Choi Jun-Seo is a good man, he is already making me very proud in the company.”

“If you say so.” Her mother leaned her head up, to give her father a gentle kiss.

He grinned, kissing her once more. “I’m always right, trust me.”

The next few days were spent shopping and sight-seeing. Marcella and Yeon kicked back and relaxed most days. “We should go clubbing,” Marcella said, as Yeon sat at her computer looking at places to live near the college.

“Clubs? Yea, we can go. When?” Yeon brought up another tab, to look for good clubs when her mother walked in after knocking once.

“Can’t go tonight, I’m sorry girls. Yeon.” Her mother laid a traditional Korean dress, on her bed. “Your father has a dinner guest, and you have to wear this. I have one for you as well Marcella.”

Yeon rolled her eyes, earning a scowl on her mother’s face. “Stop. You look beautiful in them.”

The golden color of the dress was offset by the red of the tank top, and red flowers, twined with their vibrant green leaves. The black, sheer covering had a white collar. The fabric was thick and heavy. She picked up the dress, holding it close to her body.

“It is pretty, dad is going all out, who is the guest?” Her mother grinned slightly, turning to Marcella.

“Yours will be delivered before tonight. You can take it home if you like, it’s pink and black. I thought the colors would compliment you.”

“Ma.” Yeon put the dress down, looking back at her mother. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“I’m not. He’s a work partner of your fathers. He’s someone your father thinks highly of. So he wants you to look your best.” Her mother turned from the room. “You guys can club tomorrow.”

As the door closed behind her, Marcella chuckled softly but steadily it became louder. “If you don’t have this figured out by now, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Yeon balled her hands into fists. “Stay here.” She grumbled. Her father’s office was downstairs, near the parlor. She quickly jumped down the stairs, running down the hall, her bare feet pattering gently on the hardwood. The large oak doors in front of her, she was never to enter as a child, unless invited. She knew her father would be in there, while her mother gave her the dress.

She knocked once hard, then twice more. “Yes?”

“Dad, you know it's me.” She wanted to yell, but yelling would get her nowhere with him.

He cleared his throat. “Come in.”

Yeon opened the door, closing it behind her, keenly aware of how close it seemed in there. He had many small statues and vases lining the walls. The dark walls and light carpet on the floor, everything was exactly as it had been. Traditional, clean cut. She walked towards her fathers' desk where he sat looking over some papers, his glasses low on his nose.

“Who is this guy.” She pulled a chair from the desk sitting down, she was letting him know she wasn’t going anywhere.

“His name is Choi Jun Seo. He runs the international side of the company, fluent in 3 languages, learning a fourth. He graduated top if his class-”

Yeon cut her father off, tapping on his desk. “I didn’t ask for his resume abeoji.”

Her father slowly lifted his head, pushing his glasses on his nose. The wrinkles around his eyes, deepening as he sighed. “I think, he would be a good match for you.”

“I knew something was up!” Yeon stood up in her chair, pointing at her father. “Is this why I came back? Don’t lie to me.”

Her father removed his glasses, rubbing the area between his eye. “Yeon, do not raise your voice at me.”

She ignored him. “Is it! Tell me! I don’t want to be set up, with some guy who you think is ok for me. That’s not fair!” She pushed away from his desk, throwing her hands into the air. “You can’t do this!”

“I can do as I please, I am your father!” Mr. Hyo stood up, his balled fist slamming down on his desk.

The air was hot between them. Yeon heard her breathing, she was frustrated and angry. She closed her eyes, willing back the tears that threatened. “Did you even miss me? Or did you just want me back as some shiny little pawn to entice your co-workers with?”

Her fathers face softened. “Why would you say that? Of course, I missed you. Your mother missed you. You belong here at home. It is not safe in Atlanta, we cannot protect you.”

Yeon sniffled. “You don’t have to protect me, I’m a grown woman.” She wiped her eyes, turning her back on her father like a child.

“You are my child. My only child. He will be here tonight to introduce himself to you in a formal setting, that is all. I am pushing, however, that you two will date.” Mr. Hyo came from around his desk, at 5′9″ he towered over his daughter, lifting her chin to look at him. “Give him a chance.”

She tugged her chin from her fathers grasp. “If he’s ugly, I’m not doing anything.”

“Park Yeon..” He said quietly.

“I don’t like this, and I don’t agree to it. I will be cordial though.” Her father chuckled, hugging his daughter tight.

“You’re like your mother, I suppose that is all I can ask for now.”

Chapter Two

#dilemma #jay park #aomg jay park #kpop for POC #black female lead #black female characters

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sugarchains · 6 years

Text

this accidentally turned into a FULL rant post about my students im v sorry if you read it

aight listen i gotta start

getting ready for bed

i called it while iw as at work-im not doing any work at home today. i was up unti 2:30 doing stuff

im exhausted.

and i skipped breakfast to be out the house on time so ive had to doubly eat to compensate and not get hunger pains (which i still ended up getting)

(eating takes SO MUCH EFFORT MAN.)

HOWEVER, ive been getting surprisngly good with my grading right now and we keep putting stuff in. and just. i felt bad bc theres kids who have legit 3 in my class

like 3 out of 100?

do you know how hard it is to fail my class?

you have to literally do NOTHING to fail it. like no discussion, no photo analysis, you cant talk about the information, you cant make your own questions, you cant watch a video and react, you cant read a grade level document on your own, you cant think critically and respond to hypothetical questions

iont even do tests! like i have assignments that i grade as assessments bc theyre cumulative, but V RARELY do i do tests, because im on here and I SEE how students feel and I get that tests are boring and stressful

i can gauge if you know your shit with a written response that you had to cite evidence from better than the test with 20 questions can. i know you know your shit based off how mad you are about the information at hand.

H O W E V E R. some of these lil assholes havent had teachers just. flat out fail them before? or like. push them to finish assignments in a timely fashion. or not give them make up work. or extra time. listen im REALLY SORRY that your boyfriend broke up with you or whatever, but this assignment was due in january. i let yall have the whole marking period to turn it in. i left the list of shame up on the wall for kids who didn’t turn it in to know.

you aint handle your shit thats not on me. what am i supposed to do, chase down the nearly 100 kids who didnt turn their stuff in on time? NAH.

and when i call these parents tomorrow-these parents that i have ALREADY REACHED OUT TO SEVERAL TIMES. BY MYSELF AND WITH OTHER TEACHERS- AND THEY FIX THEMSELVES TO SAY “Well what are you doing to help my child”

bitch, ive grouped them separately, they have perferential documents, they have assignments on their level, videos, music, laptops to do research on, checklists for the work, a video they can refer back to for the work, etc. at this point. in march. if they havent gotten it together, its really not on me-its on you and your own lil nigga

take care of yo lil niggas! stop expecting the teacher to do all that for you!

dont let your special needs services fall through for your child! because he will be treated like a gened student! i cant give him ther services he needs because YOU didnt let them continue his iep AND you LET ITRUN OUT

“oh he needs extended time.” in which case. should a supposed gened student, who is not an ell, doesnt have a learning disability, and has been born and raised in this country. be allowed 2 plus weeks to read 2 documents (both are image documents) and answer 8 questions in total-four for each document?

stop sending your kids to school without pencils!

shorty got a WHOLE JAR OF COCONUT OIL IN HER BAG BUT NO FUCKING PENCIL?

????? HOW SWAY

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE

STOP MAKING YOUR KIDS ENTITLED TO SHIT THATS NOT YOURS. I DO NOT HAVE TO LET YOU USE THE PENS THAT I BOUGHT ESPECIALLY FOR ME. IONT CARE THAT YOU LIKE THEM. YALL WRITE LIKE YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO HOLD A PENCIL PROPERLY. MASHING UP MY FELT TIP POINTS BC YOU WANNA DRAW WITH MY SHIT TCH

why do middle schoolers touch EVERYTHING thats not yours

AND THEN GET PRESSED! WHEN YOU TELL THEM HANDS OFF!

LIKE????! just because im a teacher doesnt mean yall can touch all my shit. you are entitled to 1. my attention for the time you have me and 2. a well thought out lesson, objective and activity. dont be upset when i tell you to not touch my timer

or my tape

or my staplers

or my glue

or the construction paper

or the printer paper

or my folders

or my copies

or my KEYS

my cup of fucking water? (yes it is a cat. yes i know it looks like a sippy cup. why do you not see that you do not have to tell me about the thing i already own)

or my headphones!

whomst. asked yall. to be all touchy. half yall got sticky fingers anyway! taking my shit that i BOUGHT. AND PAID FOR. just because “oh miss but its pretty.” THEN YOU GO GET IT

BUY IT

WITH THE MONEY YOU SPENDING ON ALL THE SNACKS AND FOOD YOU BRING INTO THE ROOM AND LEAVE BEHIND EVERYWHERE imma start eating their food when they leave it behind. actually ive done that before

#work things #god they make me exhausted sometimes too

6 notes · View notes

thedappleddragon · 3 years

Text

ugh im big stupid and haven't been posting my shit here for a while. I've still been typing it out in my notes, I just havent transferred them onto here lol. im putting it all under the cut, don't worry

Today was pretty dang nice! I spent a little time outside because it was nice and warm out, I drew a little in my sketchbook and digitally rendered a picture of Anna’s new princess outfit, ran an errand with my mom to pick up a graphing calculator and a pack of soda, ate some Wendy’s, and did a lot of sewing for my dress! I joined the bodice lining and exterior, and did a little over half of the sewing for the skirt. I’m doing French seams so there’s no raw edges on the inside, so I still have to iron it and go over the second round of stitches. My machine malfunctioned for a moment with the thread tangling up in the lower bobbin thingy, so I left it alone for like an hour and it fixed itself lol. I’m very happy with how the bodice came out after clipping all the extra fabric in the corners and test fitting it. I think it’ll be great when it’s done!! Although I may or may not need to seam rip a little bit of the skirt to extend the zipper down so I can get it over my fuckin DUMPTRUCK when putting it on. Right now there’s enough stretch to put it on, but Idk how well that’ll stay after attaching the 2 pieces. Also it might end up making me look fat/preggo in the end with how the skirt lays lmao. I also did a really quick test fit with the sleeves, and I might actually like it better sleeveless? I’ll put one on anyway and go from there to see which I like better. HOORAY this dress has pockets!! But I may have put them a little low lol. I wanted to do a big dress debut at prom, but turns out graduates aren’t allowed due to covid restrictions :( so that really sucks. But we’re still gonna hang out a little bit beforehand, and I can still do a debut. I made a little bow out of some scrap dress fabric, which I want to put in my hair for pre-prom. I think I’ll braid my hair, maybe get some fake flowers from dollar tree and ribbon to add somehow, and put the ribbon either at the bottom or the top, wherever the hair tie eventually goes. I’m so exited to work on it more. I’m kinda running out of white thread tho so I’ll have to get more. Later in the evening i got hungry and made ramen while my dad and I watched a documentary on some of the horrible shit that went on all around the world during 2020, some of which I had forgotten about, some that was really surreal and out of a dystopian movie, and some stuff that was just upsetting to watch. It was still pretty good tho. I got work tomorrow and I’m really sleepy even tho it’s only 12:30 so I think I’m gonna grab a snack and go to sleep soon. Gnight mwah

Yesterday I worked and sewed until I ran out of thread and drew a little bit. Spent most of my shift watering flowers, then I went home and ate for a moment, then watered more and picked dead flowers and talked about avatar and other animated shows with the highschool girl I work with. Came home and hung out for a while, that evening made some good pasta.

Today I justly hung out, then went with mom to pick up a bookshelf and went through strawtown which I thought was a very funny name for a town. There was a cute antique shop in there tho. On the way back we stopped in a sewing shop called Always in stitches. I expected it to be a very small shop, but it was SO much bigger than I thought it would be. They had tons of fabric and quilting supplies, and lots of old ladies working and talking. I picked up a cone of white thread and a fabric sample pack. Then I sewed my dress a little bit. I still have lots to do, and only like 2.5 days to do it. I’ll get there tho. All I have to do is add the skirt hem, add the pockets back in (I took them out so I could see them in normally), add sleeves and hem them, and add the zipper. And attach the skirt to the bodice. I think I’ll be able to do it. I had yogurt for the first time in forever today. Tbh I used just enough to hold together the strawberry and granola bits kgelgskgs. It was pretty good tho. I drew ELEVEN pages in my sketchbook, about 8 of them being a comic about the pony au of our royalty au. I could have done the comic with human characters but ponies are so much easier to draw aggsssdh. I spent 40 minutes typing out the dialogue and editing it on top of the rest of the comic so my friend could read it, but she still hasn’t read my text :( oh well that’s fine lol. The original plot was supposed to be Sam talking to an accidental illusion of me being mean about her blight, but then I accidentally made it something different. I might just draw the alternate ending instead. Update I just did

Yesterday I sewed and went to Menards to buy tile for moms bathroom.

Today was VERY productive, I feel like. I woke up and immediately took a shower and did laundry. I spent some one just sitting on my bed scrolling and researching while listening to medieval remixes of songs lol. At some point I went out to buy subway for everyone and stopped at dollar tree for nail polish and satin ribbon. I made the ribbon into a little choker and wanted to use it for the hem of the skirt, but I was too short. In total I spent HOURS hemming and pinning and seam ripping and ironing and sewing today, but it’s still not done. I gotta kick my ass into high gear if it’s gone be done by Sunday afternoon. I started sewing the bottom hem, but my machine has been doing this weird thing where the fabric scrunches up right past the sewing foot and leaves wrinkles and gathers so loose I can move it around with my hands easily. I think it’s just my tension being too tight or something, I adjusted it a bit and I’ll test it in the morning. I’m too tired and it’s too late at night to be doing that much sewing. I seam ripped the entire back skirt seam so I could extend the zipper a little further down, and I’ll sew it back up once the hem is done. After that all I need to donis connect the skirt to the bocice, fix the zipper, and hem the arm holes. I don’t want to use the sleeves I made because the edges don’t line up at all and I don’t think I would be able to lift my arms, the way it’s built. The nail polish I picked up works way better than I thought it would, leaving a pretty good metallic sheen after just one coat. Way better than I thought for a dollar. I helped mom lay down tile a little bit, ripping up one old tile and helping a bit at a time throughout the day. I kept asking if she wanted help with the actual tiling part but she said no. We also couldn’t get the fuckin box cutter I bought to work. It’s supposed to be easy to replace the blade, but we couldn’t figure it out lol. I’m falling asleep fun. Washed my face twice, trying to take good care of myself before prom so I look good in photos. Gotta wash hair tomorrow. Made hamburger meat

Spent all day sewing and listening to bardcore remixes. Dress is as done as I bother to make it rn

Tbh I was hoping for a little more for today. I’ve spent the last like week or longer working towards this, and going especially in depth the past 3 days. I got all silky smooth, worked for hours on my dress, thought about pretty much nothing except prom day. I was late because my dad had my neighbor come over to take pictures of me in my dress. I thought it was just going to be her holding my dad’s phone to get a picture of us together, but she brought her whole ass professional camera and spent several minutes taking pictures. Then I took the weirdest way possible to get to my friend’s house on accident because google maps said it was the fastest way to get there. But HEY when I did get there I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. We ate some dinner AND??? Sammie I’m sorry if you’re reading this but THE MASHED POTATOES?? WERE S O BLAND????? AFAJSTSTHJST ily but girl. Just a little salt could have gone a long way <3 the steak and especially the green bean casserole were good tho :) dinner was good with the sparkling juice and little desert. Overall everything was just very loud, but that’s to be expected when this is everyone’s first time seeing each other in a goddamn while: actually I think they’ve all seen each other at school without me but hey whatever. I think I fucked up my phone screen on accident by sitting on it while it was in my pocket with my keys, leaving a spiderweb crack in it. I checked and yeah it’s not just the screen protector :( eh I don’t care that much, It didn’t fuck up the lcd screen or anything. We went up to Sam’s room and hung out and talked while she did Liz’s makeup and took pictures, and I borrowed a little of her concealer before photos. There was a little photo shoot in their front yard, and looking at the photos I look a little fat in them but I LOVE all the photos taken in Sam’s room where we were all just hanging out. Idk why but whenever you have to do photos and they say to do a silly one, it never turns out good, but the fun ones you casually take always turn out way better. They’re more genuine :) but then it was time for everyone to go to prom and for me to go home 😔 we only hung out for like an hour and a half. I didn’t want to take off my dress, seeing as I put in so much effort to sew the whole dress and shave and look pretty, so I wore it around the house for a bit until I got tired and went to lay in bed. I watched the mitchels vs the machines, which is a fuckin DELIGHTFUL movie!! Everybody go watch it it’s so cute <3 I also played some Pokémon and watched a little YouTube in bed, but feeling unfulfilled and wanting to do something different, I just didn’t know what. So instead I started typing this up as my sister brought me a cupcake from prom :) I had a bite and put the rest in the fridge, since it was so big and in a plastic container. I texted a friend over Snapchat asking if they had fun at prom, and they said it was kinda ass. I tried relating and saying yeah all school dances are a little ass, and my friend group once had anti prom and played dnd instead, but they just said ‘that’s nice’ back and idk if that means they’re annoyed at me or they’re just tired and didn’t wanna text or what but :( idk. Either way it’s fine, right now all I care about is going to bed. Gnight I guess. Also I keep thinking about that textpost that’s like “diary of icarly” and she talks in these simple-ass sentences and now I feel self conscious about how I write these snafnfs. I already know I write like a child in these, but that’s just because I don’t wanna go through the effort of making this sound nice and professional every day lmao. So child writing it is. Also painted my nails really horribly and it took forever to clean up which made me late

Woke up, went to work, spent a little time stocking, watered indoor plants, then attempting to work the register, and organized plants the rest of the time. I stood behind one of my coworkers as she checked people out, kind of understanding what she was doing but not that much, and read the manual in down periods. She had me check out a couple people, and it was NERVE WRACKING AS HELL. Thankfully everyone was very nice, and my coworker stood by and helped, and right as I was getting my foothold, my boss called for me to work outside and bring in the new shipment of plants. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY NICE?? I was actually able to help some people today!! :D I’m slowly getting better at my job which is nice :) originally I was only gonna work 4 hours, but there were more plants to get and I felt like I could keep going, so I ended up working 6 instead. Every time I come home from the end of my shift I feel bad for not working more and like I should have stayed longer. Tbh I think I could do it if I had a proper break! I’ve been doing 4 hour shifts with maybe a water break in the middle because i don’t know how to ask to go on break ;-; Ike my secondary boss in the garden center is super nice and approachable and friendly but the main boss is like. Terrifying. I never know when he’s joking or being serious and I don’t understand him and assffsfamms it SUCKS. But whatever, I went home and ate some Mac n cheese and laid in bed because my back hurt and played on my ds for the rest of the night. I tried a couple new games, none of which I spent very long on. I tried okami den where you’re the wolf puppy child of the precious games protagonist I think, and idk maybe I’ll give it a better try in the future, but I wasn’t feelin it. I spent like 30 minutes on a pro bass fishing simulator and couldn’t clear the first level because the fish wouldn’t get close enough to my boat lmao. Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games was fun until I lost at table tennis to Mario. I’d play it again. But I have work again tomorrow so I gotta go to bed good night. Having to blast my fan and play drawfee on my phone to drown out moms tv again >:(

Ate a pbj for breakfast? Went to work, moved plants around, took my lunch break, went to subway with an expired coupon, ate at home and times it perfectly so I could watch one section of the new drawfee episode, went back to work, made myself sad thinking about the god girl homunculus from fullmetal alchemist, picked dead flowers off the petunias, left a little early, hung out at home, left to go get mom’s medicine, found my dad at the store, followed him around and shopped for a bit, can home to unload everything, talked with him about buying one of the cars from him so it would be under mom’s insurance after the divorce, talked about being able to hang out at dads apparent after we help him move, ate some of the stuff we bought, and now I’m hanging out in bed again. I picked up my Pokémon black save and played a while today which was nice. I think I’m gonna work more in the next few days, be really busy with shit for like a week, and finally have a breather after the 15th. I really need to switch brain gears back into college stuff soon so I can sign up for orientation and figure out finances and shit, but for now it’s midnight and I don’t have to think about it lol

Today was pretty good, but also pretty boring. I played Pokémon all day since I didn’t have work, cooked some hamburger meat, and went on an errand for mom but got the wrong thing so I went out later to buy the right thing. I got spicy chicharrones instead of regular ones oops. On my drive back from getting the right thing, I rolled all my windows down and loved the feeling of driving around right after sunset when the weather was nice but cool, especially after standing in mom’s loud-ass room trying to ask about her bank card. I thought about going back out to aimlessly drive around the park and back, but instead hung out in my kitchen as my cat fell asleep on my lap. I think I’m gonna get paid tomorrow, so that’s exciting :D I probably made a solid couple hundred dollars if I had to guess. Idk what I’m getting paid per hour, but it’s probably ~$10 and I COULD go through my texts again to see how much I’ve worked, but I don’t really wanna lmao. I should just start putting that in my notes app instead...

Just had probably the most involved, longest dream ever?? It was a mix of infinity train and dangenrompa, we were mostly stuck inside my house, one boy left for years to search for supplies, I tried biking along a tail that disappeared into tree roots and a ditch with grass, cried because we had been in the same car for so long I was afraid they were gonna make us kill someone to get past, and at the end we escaped or something and had to fuck up security cameras and get past loopholes and lots of cereal boxes were involved? Idk there’s just so much I don’t remember. I wasn't sure if I had to go to work today, so I sent my boss a text and just kinda hung out. was making hamburger meat for my mom when my boss called asking me to come in, so I took a shower and worked from 1-5. spent some time at the register, and got way better at checking stuff out :) I learned a couple things, and there was one old lady in particular who was very patient and nice to me while my coworker went to go find a smaller bag of birdseed. when it stopped being busy inside, I went ut to the garden center to help price plants and spent the rest of my shift out there. I got paid too! $9 an hour, 22 hours, $200 in total. hell yeah. not bad, although I literally have no frame of reference on if this Is good or not. after work I went home for a second, then got Hardee’s (or carls jr in the western states). I used a coupon for chicken tenders for me and my sister :) and while I was driving around today, I found myself wishing that everything in life could be as smooth and easy as driving my car through my neighborhood. and then I kinda laughed thinking about how I cried my first time driving on a major road asdjfasjdhf. but seriously I love driving my dad’s silver Volvo!! its so comfy with 4 wheel drive and good petal control, its like always driving on freshly paved roads <3 unfortunately that's the car my dad is taking when he moves into his apartment to use as his full time car instead of his shit-ass blue Volvo, and we’re gonna be stuck with the red Volvo with a really touchy gas pedal and slow break pedal. (idk if you've noticed but we really love old Volvos in this family. they’re all old and boxy as hell and I love em <3 ) then I played Pokemon black and beat the elite 4 and champion in one try with a lot of revives lmao. I was kinda underleveled, right at 48-50 range, same as them. I was angry about stuff and in pain earlier in the shower as I washed my hair, but I dont remember exactly what it was. now I have my soft Spotify playlist going so I can maybe go to sleep soon. oh wait I remember being angry that all I could thin about all day was work, even tho it only takes up a few hours of my day, and then I do nothing all day afterwards. idk it’s just weird.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #may 2021 daily #2021 daily

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ithisatanytime · 3 years

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To be honest im very glad she loves her boyfriend so much, initially i asked about her relationship status and she said it was open, and was very firm about that fact, emphasizing it to the point that it was the only thing leading me to believe she was at all receptive to my advances, of course thats not enough because i was so forward, and i knew she just likely wasnt that into me. but today when i pressed the issue, as i am a horny man and frankly im in a damn hurry, she changed her tune, now he was her soul mate. and you know what nothing could have made me happier. my last serious girlfriend was in a committed relationship but it was on the rocks, in part do to her going off her birth control (i was high test compared to her boyfriend, he had better musculature but prenatal test exposure was lower in the womb as evident by me being 6′2 and having masculinized bone structure in comparison to his.) and losing all attraction to him, also i kind of fucked their shit up by randomly confessing my feelings for her, we had known each other for close to ten years at that point, but i never made my feelings known because she was so fucking hot to me i just never thought of her as a possibility quite frankly, i was fucking SHOCKED to find out she felt exactly the same. this same exact scenario played out for me when i was a young man and i literally forced my girlfriend to go on hormonal birth control, the hormones in birth control literally trick your body into thinking that your pregnant, and pregnant women have different taste in men, they are looking for a provider obviously, their behavior changes dramatically, in part because they lose interest in higher testosterone but good physical genetics mates as they need someone to be their when they raise their baby, typically (naturally) this only lasts for 9 months than the baby comes, if the man who fathered the child is able to weather the emotional shit storm, he will stick with you through anything, and is thus a good potential provider for your offspring, the opposite is true if they met you while on hormonal birth control, as they value you for your provider traits and when they go off the bc their body thinks they are no longer pregnant, hence her looking for a big strong bull (me) too impregnate her.

she knew this indian guy since they were children, it was fucking obvious they were meant to be together, i hated being responsible for the heartbreak i caused BOTH of them. dude still wanted to be with her after she kicked him out of her life to fuck some drug addicted retard (me) but heres the thing i am not talking shit about her, they literally cant fucking help it, we are slaves to our hormones. i was very pleased to find out that she was hesitant to go on birth control as it “makes her crazy” i was so glad she brought it up and felt that way, as imagine going over this shit with a potential girlfriend, imagine how well thats going to go over! i have been familiar with hormonal BC’s effects on womens sexual preferences and ability to pair bond since i watched a documentary on the discovery channel about sex with i was 13, i was trying to masturbate, but i learned a lot instead, despite how crazy this sounds, all of this is accepted science and new papers get released about it every couple of years or so, its fucking insane that women arent made aware of this common side effect of birth control, so imagine how fucking conflicted i felt when she was adamant about getting back on birth control, i was 99 percent sure she would fall out of love with me, and at the time , it was insane to me how much she clearly loved me, she promised shed get off birth control as soon as i asked, i pleaded with her, saying that by the time she was on bc for even a couple weeks shed no longer love me or give a fucking shit what i had to say anymore, which seemed RIDICULOUS at the time, but she promised shed go off it as soon as i asked, i knew that would not be the case. within literal days after getting the hormonal IUD put in, she stopped looking at me the same, we started fighting all the time, it was horrible to see, especially for the second time, all men know what i am talking about, when that lok disappears, and of course she didnt get it taken out when i asked, and of course the fighting got worse and worse, who the fuck could stand living with me without loving me, suddenly all the bad shit about me (no job prospects, bad provider) that she had already been aware of for years became an issue, blah blah blah, it wasnt her fault, imagine being forced to live iwth someone who you didnt love, who loved you and stil wanted to fuck you. and of course as the fighting got worse and she slept on the couch, i could no longer sleep, i became obsessively jealous (mate retention strategy caused by testosterone masculinizing the brain) i knew she wasnt cheating on me, there was literally no way, but my guts were twisting and churning every single day, my behavior became increasingly erratic (men behave irrationally as well, in their own way) it all came to a head, after a solid month of the cold shoulder, i had finally landed a job interview to be a car salesmen (i built up a relationship with the neighbor i smoked iwth, and he landed me the job) but the day before i was set to be interviewed we had a massive fight which i started, because i tried to reason with her (in love men and women arent governed by reason) that she had been giving me the silent treatment for a month and i had been on my best behavior, which i had been, buying her gifts and flowers with the profit sharing check i got from my old job, but she started grabbing her stuff to leave, she wouldnt tell me where she was going and in my irrational state i was sure she was going to fuck an entire football team, an unbelievably searingly painful thought for a man, women literally cant comprehend this as they dont experience jealousy in the same way men do. so i slammed out of the house first into the streets of new york city, huffing and puffing trying to to cry as i pushed past the crowded streets, it was like 4 pm in the middle of queens. i found a bar and sat at the center of the bar, it was pretty empty when i walked in since it was like four o clock in the afternoon. i had 300 hundred dollars in my pocket and i spent it all that very night on beers and shots and whiskey sours, i had never gone to a bar of my own volition before and can count on one hand the amount of times id set foot in a bar, but i had been drinking more than i ever had in my life. the pain of jealousy and losing someone that i sincerely loved, and intended to marry was so intense that i started drinking and basically didnt stop until we were separated (havent really touched the stuff since, i dont really like alcohol) but i was losing the girl i loved, she was supposed to be my wife. i drank like there was no fucking tomorrow, just waiting for her to call me, which she did, but there was no love in her voice, no news on where she was, or who she was with (her girlfriends, studying for an exam) so i hung up and went back to drinking, my bartender was a young women, who may have been pretty i was not paying attention, so much so that when she finished her shift and left the bar, and a young woman sat next to me at the bar and tried to talk to me, she grew angry with me that i didnt realize it was the same bartender, who had been serving me drinks all night, she left in a huff, soon i felt people pressing up against my back as i finished my 20th drink of the day, i was way past my limit, but i was about to lose the girl i loved and become homeless on the streets of new york in my mind, she would never have done that to me, but my “home” had evaporated as soon as i left to new york, and after i lost my job delivering refrigerators he made it pretty clear he didnt want me around. he was not my real dad after all, just another of my mothers boyfriends, its not the same as a biological dad, for as good as he was and as much as he did for me, i was becoming too much, i cant describe the fear of the streets for someone who spent their lives homeless or near homeless is like, its always there. so i drank that way as the NYC bar grew very crowded and noisey, i had picked the hottest socail spot in the city to drown my sorrows,. i would drink until i couldnt feel the pain anymore, go home, puke my guts out, not remember anything and then regroup in the morning after she got home from her boyfriends house, thats a problem for tomorrow me. i was just waiting for her to call me and maybe show me some sign of warmth, some sign of the person i fell in love with. she did call me in fact, i was too drunk and the bar was too loud for me to hear it, i got up to take a piss and only then realized how crowded the bar actually was, people were dancing behind me the whole time and i didnt even realize it, it was packed from wall to wall, as i got up to take my piss, my last five fell out of my pocket onto the ground and i nearly fell over trying ot pick it up, plus the last shot i took i just spilled down my shirt sleeve, it was time to go home. i drunkenly stumbled towards the door the bar was so packed i literally had to raise my arms into the air (this detail will be important for later) as i made my way towards the exit suddenly she appeared in the doorway, i cannot describe to you my relief in this moment, how did she even find me? it was the last clear memory i have from that night, the only other memory i have is foggy, me drunkenly bragging that i could have beat up every dude in the bar and girls were totally trying to fuck me (see? im valuable) as she drove me home, the rest of that night is completely lost to me, i found myself suddenly in our bed, in the morning, i felt more hungover than i had ever been in my life by a factor of ten, i was shaking uncontrollably still half drunk and frightened (if youve never blacked completely out before you cant know what thats like) she informed me that i had pushed her, i was horrified, how could this have happened, and what more could i have been capable of, i didnt have time to process that however as her dad was on his way over from upstate new york, in my half drunk and frightened mind i knew he was coming to fight me, i went into fight or flgiht mode *if your dead comes here i wil lfuck him up!” even i couldnt believe i said that , her father was an unbelievably kind and gentle man, but i was frightened, i was gonna be homeless on the streets of new york, a forgotten man who fell through the cracks in the safety net, and worse i deserved it, my sense of self was shattered, how could i have pushed her? she made the right decision in having her father turn around, and head back to upsate new york. i cried like a fucking baby, how could i have done this? my father was a drunk who beat the shit out of my mother, and i remembered it vividly. i sobbed and sobbed, i had been doing a lot of that, i loved her from the beginning and worse, she had loved me too. i had no way of contextualizing it either, for me it was as if someone had woken me up to inform me that in my sleep i had punched a child, think about that, how do you process it? i had prided myself in never putting my hands on a woman unless she asked first (thats its own story that i will never fucking tell) i ddint even remember it, like at all, i ddint even remember us fighting, apparently i was barfing and doing somersaults of the bed and shit, as you do when you are blackout drunk. and she had never drank a drop of alcohol or smoked a single weed in her life, she must have been absolutely terrified. i wanted to die, it was over for good. we had made up in a sense, as the reality of the situation set in, we only ever held each other on the first and last night i was in newyork, and both times, you wont believe this but i have to say it because it was so strange, we cuddled face to face while her two cats cuddled each other inbetween us, only the first and last night.

part of why it was so hard for me, was because i knew i would miss her bitterly for the rest of my life, literally every day until i died, i knew from experience, and she woudl be really upset for a few months maybe and then never think about me again. my only hope was that she got back together with tha tindian boy she grew up with, he fucking cried outside of their apartment, and stil asked about her when she left him for me, this tore me up, as id been on the other end of that, he loved her better than i did, they were meant to be married but hormonal fucker and jewish sabotage has a combined effect of just fucking women right up, men too but i feel worse for the women. if you fuck a guy you should just stay with them honestly, you will be much happier long term. this started out as one thing, and then turned into something different, as i had been meaning to tell that story for years now. i know it seems like a lot of self pity and to be fair theres a lot of remorse too even to this day, i barely touched a drop of alcohol in the years since, and occasionally it will hit me like a ton of bricks out of the blue and i will excuse myself into my room to cry into the macaroni and cheese i was eating.

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