#haven't seen the movie in years so i can't remember if they do the rhyme thing in there

[oh-men-of-dark-and-dismal-fate]

Almost done reading The Princess Bride and I have come to the unwavering conclusion that Inigo Montoya and Fezzik, are without doubt, partners in rhyme.

[silverfoxstole]

Thanks for the tag @isolarrwilde !

What book are you currently reading?

The House of Dudley by Joanne Paul, a new biography of the Tudor family.

What do you usually wear?

These days, jeans and more often than not a striped tshirt/top.

What's your favourite movie you've seen in theatres this year?

I haven’t been to a cinema since Bohemian Rhapsody was out. I’m not particularly interested in films.

What's your star sign? Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

Pisces, though only just as it begins on my birthday. In Chinese astrology I’m a snake. I share my birthday with (among others) eighteenth century actor David Garrick, Anthony Stewart Head and the late Dame Gillian Lynne. Edward VI was crowned on that day in 1547 and Tchaikovsky premiered Swan Lake in 1877.

Do you go by your full name or a nick-name?

I’ve never been known by a nickname though some people have shortened it, such as my grandparents and a couple of managers at work; they're the only people I've allowed to do that as I don’t really like it being shortened unless I decide to do it myself. I’m always called by my full name within my immediate family, though my mother does have a tendency to call my sister and I pretty much anything that comes into her head. The one that’s stuck over the years is ‘Pooh’, as in Winnie The, because it rhymes with the shortened version of my name.

How tall are you?

5'3”, to my eternal chagrin as almost everyone in the family is taller than me.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

Nope, and no one. I assume from the latter that we’re referring to real life rather than the realms of fantasy. To be honest I can’t really see myself as part of a couple; I’ve been on my own too long and I’m pretty solitary by nature.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

To my lasting regret I’ve never had a goal in mind and still have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

If you draw/write/create in any way, what's your favourite picture/line/etc. from something you created this year?

I've written so much this year (just under 300K words - eek!) I doubt I could pick one line! As for art, I'm very fond of this Bush sketch from earlier in the year; for once I managed to get the expression and head tilt right:

Dogs or cats?

In the past I would always have said dogs, but just lately I’ve found myself coming round to cats after previously having been quite anti. Dogs probably still win out, though.

What's something you're good at vs. something you're bad at?

I'm very good at judging distances, but I can't whistle to save my life.

What's something you'd like to create content for?

I don’t really think I would. I’ve been asked on the odd occasion if things of mine can be included in zines but I’ve never accepted.

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

My eighteenth century fixation is still going strong after more than thirty years, and my Hornblower phase mark II hasn’t come to an end yet.

What's something that you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

I haven't really had anything to get excited about for a long time. It was annoying that the Christmas event at Mottifont Abbey was so busy first thing on a Monday morning; that was disappointing, I suppose.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

It's not a talent as such but I have a great facility for remembering lines from comedy shows, though I wouldn't exactly call it hidden as I know I have an annoying tendency to quote them all the time. I actually can't think of anything I'd regard as a 'hidden talent'.

Are you religious?

For many years I would have immediately described myself as an atheist but as I get older I find myself less sure and am now agnostic. I’ve started to find the religious aspect of Christmas comforting, something that I think probably started during the pandemic, though I wouldn’t call myself a believer in any real sense.

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

Just at this minute, I would dearly love the tension headache that has been plaguing me for weeks to leave me alone. In the long term, a job, and preferably one I actually enjoy doing after spending far too long in a position I came to detest.

Tagging @amalthea9 @ariel-seagull-wings @aragarna @gone-grl-gone @sirastar and anyone else who fancies it!

[andrewwtca]

hello, I am andrewwtca and this is my self-indulgent sunflower seeds analysis

if you don't know, I wrote this sunnflower fanfic called sunflower seeds in the rearview mirror and it is my pride and joy! long story short, Sunny and Basil go on a road trip together and Shit Gets Fucked Up. and I put a lot of metaphors, symbolism, all that jazz in it. like I said, I am so very proud of it,,,

so this, is my analysis of... drum roll please... Sunny's horrible grip on his memory!

my attempt at an introduction

Chapter 1

A part of him wishes he had a CD to keep them both from going crazy in silence but he hasn’t bought one in four years and he isn’t about to bring nursery rhymes with him. The radio signal couldn’t be that bad, right?

(the radio signal is indeed not that bad, Sunny. it's a shame you'll never use it because I completely forget about it)

Sunny has a very selective memory - he's not at all conscious of what he is choosing to remember and forget, much like how he didn't want to forget the incident.

he is also very, very aware that he has missed out on a lot, saying that while everyone around him grew up, he is still a child with nursery rhymes. Sunny has no intentions to 'grow up' however, choosing to remain in this mindset. even when Basil confronts him later on in the bathtub at their motel, saying he's still a child, Sunny makes no direct motion to prove anything else is true, other than saying he's sixteen.

Sunny is aware of the time that he's lost and the time he continues to lose - the first step to gaining that time back is to figure out where he is.

what time is it, anyway?

Chapter 2

Basil looks at the corner of his eye and Sunny settles on the passenger side, glad Basil can't stare at his eye patch. "The Boy Is Mine, Brady and Monica. I think it's popular in our town but nobody has talked to... I-It's popular on the radio. Been topping... Topping charts. The announcer always goes on rants about how popular it is.”

Chapter 2

"Well… Oh, Disney released some new movies! Remember how we used to watch The Little Mermaid under the covers in your living room?"

...

But before he got rid of it, Sunny would always invite his friends to come watch because his set was the best out of all of theirs. They would play video games on Kel's Genesis, which he would lug every weekend, or watch whatever movies they could get their hands on.

When The Little Mermaid was released, the whole group was obsessed with it. That was overtaken by when Aladdin released, but the story about the girl who wishes she could walk on the world struck a chord with them all.

...

"Let's see, Disney released... Lion King and Hercules? I want to think you've seen them but if you haven't... Left, and you don't have a set, how could you have?"

Sunny is struggling to get a grip on time, so he begins to take out specific moments in his memory that references such events. he doesn't do this for the rest of the trip, just at the beginning: he needs to know where he is, what time it is.

he needs to know where in time and space he is, because he's had an ego death or something, his entire identity has just been retconned or something

for the rest of the trip, Sunny does not think about the song or the promise of movies (on that note, Basil doesn't bring them up either, but I'm giving him a pass... for now). his memory doesn't find a need for anything time-relevant anymore.

he knows what the most popular song is now, as he was worried about music before he left. and he was able to not only hear Basil talk, but got to catch up on something brought up. simple and clean problem and resolution.

he knows he's missed out and it left him feeling left out; now, with the promise of being included once again, Sunny no longer feels the need to focus on the names of anything, the dates of anything. his memory has given him an outing as he has solved the first question: what time is it, anyway?

now to the more pressing issue: Basil.

sharing and losing fixations, sharing and losing memories

Sunny is prone to get fixated on things (autistic Sunny supremacy) easily, and those things can change the very thought process of his brain... so, what happens when Basil (re-)introduces Sunny to Greek mythology?

(this is in no way me just projecting how much I like Greek mythology onto them, I swear)

Chapter 5

Things makeshift Greek tragedies have that real Greek tragedies don't:

Basil and Sunny, that's for starters. They don't have an angel of Gaea and an angel of Helios, turn against their own and fly towards each other, burn their wings and leave their nests just to hold each other (or try to);

Chapter 11

“Yeah.” Basil nods and it’s enough to draw Sunny's eye up from the water. Basil doesn’t turn, doesn’t run, and the two of them stare at each other. Study each other, like artists. Maybe they are artists. They created a mess. They created a tragedy. A play—

Chapter 15

Sunny won't let death be how his story ends. He's not a fucking tragedy. He gets his fucking happy ending.

Sunny begins to think in terms of tragedies. he begins to thinks in terms of there is someone bigger tugging at his strings... but why? Sunny knows little about Greek mythology, other than the stories he and Basil used to read as kids, so why get so fixated on it?

it's a horrible attempt to stop the descent of forgetting.

Sunny, to a subconscious level, is aware that there are blanks in his memory. to a subconscious level, he is aware that he keeps missing out... after all, that's the reason why he came.

Chapter 1

The whole point of this is to forget. Or, at least that’s how Basil pitched it to him. And it’s a pretty worthwhile idea, so Sunny is going to do just that. He’s going to sit in the front seat of the old car with a faint scent from the swinging car freshener, and he’s going to think about the street lights flickering over him and he’s going to forget, even if it’s for a bit.

with the intentions of forgetting, Sunny came on this trip - he wants to rekindle with Basil, yes, but how can you do that when there's so much weighing you down? so, Sunny lets himself forget.

oh dear. Sunny, that is a horrible mistake.

Sunny WENT ON THIS TRIP TO FORGET. and then HE BECOMES SHOCKED WHEN HE DOES. oh foolish one, why did you sow?

nonetheless, Sunny must face the consequences of his attempt to forget, directly after going through the biggest fight of his life as a consequence of forgetting (are any of you noticing a cycle?), and it's that by forgetting all the hurtful things, he can barely hold on to the good things.

because existing is all of it. it's the bad, it's the good, and if you reject one, you reject the other.

Chapter 15

...until they’re in the light and running and they can

live.

Live with their sorrow. Live with their hope. Live with their anger. Live with their love.

this realization is not one Sunny has right away. no, we have some pressing issues, such as forgetting: so, Sunny goes on this trip to feel happy (it's literally in the description of the fic) so how is he going to remember?

well, he must trick his brain to associating the bad things with the good.

Basil, through all their conflict, all their hurt, is a good thing in Sunny's life.

Chapter 8

He feels his heart shatter and he whispers, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Basil.”

so, to remember, he begins to associate hardships with something Basil likes: Greek mythology. tragedies, specifically. even when it's something small, Sunny is tricking himself to remember. he's tricking himself to remember the hardships, so that he can live once again.

when things get hard, he wants to escape. so when things get hard, he remembers Basil, Basil's interests, all things that make him happy. and you know what, it works! it works until he is confronted with the horrible truth that he has only remembered a fraction of what has happened.

acceptance

Chapter 2

"I think... There's these traveling stops," Basil says.

Chapter 12

Sunny studies the photo. There’s a small brown building, a rest stop probably, in the way of the sky in brilliant shades of blue. The sun is blurry and Sunny tries to remember where they were but it’s not getting any clearer. It’s like the closer he gets, the more obscured it is. Remembering the truth wasn’t hard—once the pieces were there, he just had to glue them together in order and accept it. There’s nothing for him to accept here, everything so blurred, so obscured, so off.

(don't kill the messenger y'all but I think Basil went to a traveling stop, I know, shocking)

Sunny is not going to be able to remember this moment. there are hundreds of other moments like these, that he just will not be able to remember. he was able to trick his brain before to remember, to remember all the bad things, but there's only so much that it can do. some memories, aren't hidden behind a key, waiting to be unlocked.

some memories, are gone. they were not suppressed, they were just not kept. it's almost similar to the final sequences of the game itself, Sunny going down memory lane: Sunny forgot all these good memories, because he would not accept the bad ones either.

except, Sunny needed those memories to face the underlying truth of Mari's death and his role in it. Sunny needs these memories to move on, to continue to exist, not to actually accept anything.

this is no longer a consequence of his actions—this now feels like a consequence of his existence. this now feels like a constant, that there will always be something he'll forget, there will always be something he can't hold on to...

but.

Chapter 10

“Me?”

“You brought yourself here.”

“I…” Sunny looks around.

Omori had wanted to send him to the pits of his mind, where he could rest.

But Sunny resisted.

Sunny did not succumb.

Sunny is a boy of cycles. he is in this cycle of forgetting and remembering. but there's another cycle, one we don't give him enough credit for: hardship and resistance.

something bad happens. and somehow, eventually, one day, Sunny will resist it. he will resist the idea that this is now his entire life. one day, Sunny will face this hardship with shaky arms, and he will play his music once again.

Sunny has accepted his hardships. it's driven him crazy, it's made him want nothing more than to rest. but he does not.

Sunny has accepted what plagues him and he carries on.

Chapter 8

And so, the curtain draws, and Sunny raises the bow, and they play again.

you who resembles I, or something like that

we, of course, cannot talk about Sunny's selective memory, Sunny's cycles, anything about post-incident Sunny, without talking about Omori. he is an extension of Sunny's being: he is the desire to rest, the desire to hide away, the desire to forget.

yet at the very end, Sunny has a chance to forget, and Omori doesn't let him.

Sunny has experienced prolonged gaps in his memory, filled in with fantasy: the driving lesson and the car chase are examples of this. and he hasn't just experienced gaps, his brains had filled in those gaps with poorly scribbled in memories, in order to convince Sunny to hide away.

Omori does not trust Basil.

Chapter 10

“It wasn’t even you! It was that damn flower boy! It’s always him, it’s always him ruining fucking everything!” Omori regains his balance and direction and lurches forward again for Sunny, this time tackling him to the ground.

it's safe to say that Omori feels a lot more than just distrust towards Basil (gasp).

Chapter 10

Omori sits up and pulls his legs to his chest. He looks off to the side and the sneer is back in his voice, his vulnerability lost to the void. “I can’t believe you. You still love him so much.”

...

Omori presses his weight into Sunny’s abdomen and growls. “You are an idiot. You look so fucking stupid with that stupid lovesick look as if you’ve forgotten everything. As if, as if it means nothing!”

so when Omori has given Sunny two outings before, two chances to escape to a different world and leave... so why, when (it's safe to assume that if Sunny didn't intervene, Basil would not have ended up alright) he could've finally gotten rid of Basil, why would Omori be the one to bring Sunny back?

Chapter 15

Across the street, Sunny could swear he sees a boy who looks just like him in white, gesturing wildly.

well I'm not going to actually answer that because like I really want to write a part two for this AU, so you may be asking. 'Andrew why did you even bother to write all of that than?'

WELL THAT'S BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT SUNNYY WITHOUT BRINGING UP OMORI, YOU FOOL! but!

Chapter 10

Letting out a groan of frustration, Omori frees his right hand and swings with the object still in it. It cuts through Sunny’s eye patch and a bit of the skin underneath, and the patch flitters to the ground right as the knife clatters to the ground.

Omori stares right into Sunny’s eye.

hmm... I wonder... what could this possibly mean...

I have more planned for him!!! stay tuned

the end(?)

I have a lot I can say about this story because I just. it is my pride, my joy, and it is my child! I worked very hard on this so I should be allowed to write long winding essays about it!!!

there's so much more I can say about Sunny's memory, but I really want to write a second part!!! maybe this will motivate me to actually do it... (hah. that's funny, Andrew)

Sunny still has a long way to go, but he's acknowledged his gaps and he's acknowledged that it won't all be fixed with time. he'll have to keep working to make it better... until then, let's give him a minute to be warm with his boycrush

if you made it all the way down here, thank you for reading! please keep your local neighborhood Sunny happy and don't let him go on road trips!!!