#haven't even thought of that movie since i last time i watched it when I was a pretty little kid
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pedroscurls · 2 months ago
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secret crushes (one-shot)
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summary: you've known hugh for years, having not only a personal friendship with him, but also a professional one. then, ryan decides to play matchmaker unbeknownst to you or hugh. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader word count: 4.5k warnings: this is complete filth bc how can you not look at that first photo and just be fine??? anyway - porn with little plot, unprotected p in v, public beach sex, seated cowgirl, oral - m receiving, light dirty talk, no use of y/n. a/n: this is for the anon who requested this spicy idea! i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it. i haven't opened up my requests since 2017 (i think), but ya know, that might change after this lol. i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman! this is purely fictional.
“All expenses paid,” you hear Ryan say over the phone. “You deserve a vacation. Even Blake agrees.”
“Ryan, no,” you protest, beginning to clean up your small coffee shop for the day. When you opened your own coffee shop so many years ago, you didn’t expect that not only would it be great business, but that you’d be very close friends with Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. 
“Oh, come on!” he says. “When was the last time you took time for yourself, hm?” 
There’s a silence that engulfs the two of you.
Before you can even speak, Ryan chimes in. “Exactly. You’ll have your own hotel room. You don’t have to spend the entire trip with us, though, we will be hurt if you don’t hang out with us, and–” he teases. 
“Okay, fine! Fine,” you huff. “I’m sure after Deadpool & Wolverine, you need some time for you and your family too.”
“Yeah,” Ryan replies. “I feel like I can be a good dad now.”
You let out a quiet laugh. “You’ve always been a good dad.”
“Eh,” he chuckles. “So, we’ll see you at the airport this weekend?”
“Sure.”
“Actually, we’re going to pick you up.” Ryan decides. “That way, I know for sure you’ll be coming with us.”
“God, you’re annoying!” you laugh. “Fine. I’ll see you and the family this Friday night. After I close up.”
“No, no. We’re leaving in the morning. Your coffee shop will be fine.”
“I know, it’s just–” you sigh, resting the phone between your ear and shoulder as you rearrange the bags of coffee on the display. Your mind drifts momentarily when you see the Laughing Man coffee beans, thinking about Hugh. “Nevermind.” 
“You think too much,” Ryan points out then his voice turns serious for a moment. “You’ll be okay. Your shop will be okay. In the time we’ve known you – Hugh and I – you’ve always been working, busting your ass.”
“I know,” you then move your gaze to the amount of photographs on your wall behind the counter. They are photographs that you’ve taken, candid ones of your employees, landscape portraits of the trips you’ve taken to find the best coffee beans, even personal photos of you and your family and friends, including Hugh, Ryan, and Blake. 
“So…” he says. “Pick you up Friday morning?” 
“Yes, Ryan. You can pick me up Friday morning. You’re very convincing, do you know that? You just never quit until you get your way.” 
“What can I say? I’m very persuasive.” He chuckles. “Okay, I’ll see you Friday. Have a good rest of your week. Call me if you need anything.” 
“I’m sure I’ll see you and Hugh before then,” you tease. “At this rate, all this free coffee I give you does amount to a free trip.”
“Exactly! Talk to you later.” 
You hadn’t spoken to Hugh in weeks, knowing that he and Ryan had been doing constant press conferences and interviews after Deadpool & Wolverine came out. You’d never admit it to either of them, but you did go out to watch the movie and it only fueled the crush that you had on Hugh. Especially that final scene. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t go home that night with thoughts filled of him. Shirtless and glistening. It was rather inappropriate, really. Not only did you and Hugh start out as friends, but you also had a partnership with him where he sells his brand of coffee at your coffee shop and takes a cut of what the sales make. It’s worked for years now and you never really looked at him in a way that was more than a friend or partner. You knew he was good looking, so sweet and funny, but it wasn’t until months after his divorce that you started to look at him differently. You had to wonder if he looked at you the same way because you started to notice how often he would come by when you were closing up to help you clean, or how his gaze on you would linger, his touches seemingly becoming more and more less friendly and more intimate. 
You’re already on the plane with Ryan, Blake, and the rest of their family. It never felt like you were the odd one out. Both Ryan and Blake always made you feel like you were part of their family. There were plenty of times where you and Hugh would babysit Ryan and Blake’s children while they were busy and always, they’d ask for Uncle Hugh to sing songs from The Greatest Showman. You were always right there next to him, singing and performing alongside him to entertain the kids. 
When you moved to New York, it was a big leap of faith. It wasn’t always easy, but Hugh, Ryan, and Blake made you feel less alone when there were times you weren’t sure you were ever going to make it out here. Now, you can’t even think of leaving New York. It has become your home. These people… They have become your family. 
You look up from your notebook to see Blake and Ryan staring at you, both with big grins on their faces. You can tell they were hiding something, so you shut your notebook and point at them.
“Okay, spill.”
Ryan feigns a gasp, palms raising up in surrender. “Can’t my beautiful wife and I stare at you lovingly?” 
Blake lets out a quiet laugh and rolls her eyes. “It’s nothing.”
“You’re both really bad liars,” you point out. “What is it? Why are you both smiling at me like that?”
“We’re just happy that you’re finally taking some time to yourself,” Blake replies, moving to sit next to you. 
“You’re much more convincing than your husband,” you say loud enough for Ryan to hear.
“I take offense to that,” Ryan says. 
Blake turns to you and looks down at your notebook, tilting her head in amusement. “Even away from your coffee shop, all you can think about is how to improve it. Don’t you ever stop working?” 
“Never,” you laugh, opening your notebook for her to look through. “Fall is right around the corner, so I’m just thinking of a few specialty drinks that I can introduce for a limited time. I hear pumpkin spice is very popular.”
You and Blake stare at each other and then erupt into a fit of laughter, both of you shaking your heads. “Can you promise me one thing on this trip?” she asks.
“I can try.” 
“Try to have some fun, don’t think so much about work. It’ll be there when you get back. We’re in Hawaii for two weeks. Just–” Blake shrugs. “Be open and let loose.” 
You arch an eyebrow. “I feel like there’s a hidden meaning there somewhere.”
“Oh, there is!” Ryan nods, a grin lining his lips. “Or is there?” 
“The both of you,” you shake your head. “Are ridiculous.”
“Ah, but you love us,” Blake grins. 
“Unfortunately,” you tease. “But okay, I’ll do my best. No work. No thinking about work. I’ll try and focus on being in the present.” 
“Maybe you can meditate,” Ryan calls out. “You know, Hugh swears by it.” 
Hugh. The mere mention of his name makes your heart flutter and you subconsciously bite your lower lip. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Blake who tries to bite back a smile. 
“Yeah, maybe.” You stand up and then motion towards the bathroom, excusing yourself from both Blake, Ryan, and their kids. 
Blake then turns to Ryan and grins. She whispers very quietly. “I think it’s going to work.” 
“I sure hope so. Neither of them have any clue what we’re trying to do.” 
“You’ve seen it. I’ve seen it. They’re the only ones who haven’t seen it,” Blake says. 
“Oh, Hugh’s seen it,” Ryan winks. 
Blake chuckles. “Well, let’s see how this trip goes.”
“If it all goes well, they’ll be leaving together,” Ryan replies. 
You’ve been in Hawaii for three days now. You’ve possibly spent every moment with Ryan and his family since arriving. You didn’t mind though. Being in their company helped keep your mind away from work, away from the responsibilities that await you at home, away from Hugh. Today, though, Ryan and Blake want to spend the day at a secluded beach to allow their kids to roam free and have fun without worrying about possible paparazzi. 
You look at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a deep blue bikini set – a halter triangle top tied at the base of your neck and back, and a cheeky bottom with side ties that rest on the side of your hips – with a white, long sleeve cover-up. You take a few pictures of yourself, wanting to send it to Hugh or even post it on social media, but you don’t. Instead, you turn off your phone and set it inside your bag before you leave your room to meet Ryan and the family. 
Throughout the entire ride to the island, Ryan and Blake can’t keep their eyes off of you. You busy yourself, though, with playing with their kids, hearing their laughter fill the car. You can tell they’re excited, jumping up and down in their seats as they talk amongst one another about the things they’ll do once they get to the beach. 
It isn’t until you all arrive at the beach and climb out that you notice another car in the lot. Ryan had mentioned before that it would just be his family and you, so you had to wonder if maybe he had gotten something wrong along the way of planning this. But if you were concerned about it, he certainly didn’t show it himself. Instead, he climbs out of the car and grabs the kids’ bags from the trunk before he and Blake motion for you to follow them onto the beach. Your toes hit the sand as you slide your sunglasses on your face. You tell Ryan and Blake that you’ll be at a distance, allowing them at least some time to spend with their kids without you and it gives you enough time to try and meditate. Maybe it will work, you tell yourself. 
You don’t see anyone else nearby and you’re at a good distance from Ryan and Blake, so you set down your towel and bag, removing your cover-up and sunglasses. You make sure to reapply more sunscreen before you walk towards the water. It’s cold and it causes a shiver to run down your spine, so you force yourself to dive in to get acclimated to the temperature of the water. 
The beach had always calmed you down, kept you grounded. It was one of the reasons why you had been so hesitant to leave your hometown of California. From one side of the coast to another. Once you come back up, you run your hands through your wet hair, slicking it back away from your face as you stand, the water only reaching your upper thighs. When you open your eyes, though, your jaw drops. 
Hugh is within a few arms reach as his eyes meet yours. The surprise look on his face tells you all that you need to know. 
He had no idea you would be here.
And neither did you. 
You can’t help but let your eyes take in his frame. His broad chest, water trickling down his frame, disappearing into the waistband of his black board shorts. He’s pulling his shorts up just a bit, but it gives you a good view of the v-cut he has and immediately, you’re aware of the feeling between your legs.
But just like you’re checking him out, Hugh’s also allowing his eyes to roam over your frame. The bikini you’re wearing is so tiny and tight around your frame. He tries to tell himself not to get excited at the mere sight of you, but it’s hard. He’s getting hard, so he does his best to think of other things that could lessen his excitement. 
Since his divorce, Hugh had taken comfort in your presence. What started out as a friendship turned partnership had blossomed into something else. Surely, you felt it too. Or at least that’s what he told himself. 
“Hello, you,” he calls out. 
The both of you begin walking towards each other, meeting in the middle as the waves crash around you. 
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” you say softly. Out of instinct, you reach out to give him a hug, warms snaking around his shoulders. This feels good, hugging him like this feels fucking great. You feel his hard chest and hair against you. He’s so wet, so slick and you just want to–
“I think Ryan may have forgotten to tell us both,” Hugh says, voice deep and husky against your ear as his arms wrap around your waist. Hugh shuts his eyes as he feels your breasts against him, his fingertips resting just above your backside and he feels his manhood stir awake. 
Quickly, Hugh pulls away, slowly lowering himself in the water to cover the growing erection between his legs and also to keep some distance between your bodies. You do the same, swimming further into the water as you both continue to float. 
“And Blake,” you add. “You think it was intentional? You ask, turning to look over your shoulder to see both Ryan and Blake staring at the both of you. 
Hugh looks over at them and lets out a quiet chuckle. “Dunno,” he answers. “But I’m glad you’re here.” 
“Me too,” you blush, heat rising in your cheeks. “How long– How long have you been here?”
“Three days.”
“Those fuckers,” you chuckle. “They totally set this up.”
Hugh laughs alongside you and tilts his head in amusement. He watches you closely, seeing you gnaw at your lower lip nervously (it’s something he’s noticed about you very early on). You bring your hand up to stroke your hair back away from your face and Hugh can’t help but smile to himself. He likes you. Really likes you and he knows that he shouldn’t act on it, knows that there should be some boundary, but he can’t help himself. 
“You nervous?” he asks quietly. 
“What?” you answer, looking up at him. “No…”
“You’re doin’ that thing you do,” Hugh points out. He gently reaches out and runs the pad of his thumb along your lower lip, causing you to release it between your teeth. 
“What thing?” 
“You know what thing,” he chuckles, slowly swimming closer to you. “You bite your lower lip a lot when you get nervous or when you’re deep in thought. So, you’re either nervous or you’re thinkin’ about somethin’. Which is it?”
“Neither,” you lie. 
Hugh narrows his eyes slowly and drags his thumb at the center of your lower lip and down to your chin until he hooks it in his grasp. “Now, I know you’re not someone who lies,” he begins, moving his thumb across your jawline. “Don’t tell me you’re lying now.”
“I’m both,” you blurt out, leaning against his touch. “I’m nervous and I’m thinking about something.”
“You’re always thinking about something,” Hugh points out. “Do I…” he asks hesitantly and drops his hand back into the water. “Do I make you nervous?”
“Right now you are.”
“Why?” 
“Because…” you whisper, looking deeply into his eyes. “One, we’re both basically half naked.”
“We’re at a beach,” he says with a small smile. “We’re in our bathing suits.”
“Half naked,” you correct. “And two, you’re just–” you stop yourself and drop your eyes to his lips then back up to gaze into his eyes. You then remember what Blake told you. Try to have some fun. Be open. Let loose. Now, you understand exactly what she meant by that. So, you let out a shaky breath and continue. “You’re just so fucking hot, Hugh, and yes, you’re making me nervous because you’re literally shirtless and wet, and you’re muscular and it’s just–”
Hugh’s laughter interrupts your rambling. You notice the way his nose crinkles upwards when the laughter comes deep within the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, you’re very aware that you just made a fool out of yourself and you gently shove him. 
“It’s not funny! You asked and so I told you. I was being honest!” 
“I’m not–” he sighs, his laughter dying down. “I’m not laughing at you, baby.” The term slips past his lips so effortlessly and he reaches out from underneath the water to grab a hold of your hip, pulling you to him. “I’m laughing because you think I’m hot to a point that you’re stuttering over your words. Have you seen yourself?” The smile remains on his lips and his thumb begins to rub circles at your hip. “Because if anyone should be nervous, it’s me.”
“You?” 
“Oh, come on,” he says. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that I’ve got the biggest crush on ya.” 
“Wait, you what?” your eyes slightly widen in surprise, but you can’t help the way your stomach flips in excitement. 
“I’ve got a crush on ya,” he whispers. “And I shouldn’t even be having crushes at this age,” Hugh chuckles nervously. “But I do. I like you.”
“You’re not joking?”
“Why would I be joking?”
“Because you can have literally anyone you want and–”
“I want you.” Hugh says, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. “Do you want me to?” 
“More than you fucking know, Hugh.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press your lips against him. You sigh against him moving your legs to wrap around his waist underneath the water as you move your lips against his own. 
Hugh growls against you, both hands moving to your hips as he leans further into you, tilting his head to get a better angle of your lips. He didn’t realize this was how his trip was going to go. After Ryan convinced him to take some time off, especially after the success of their movie together, he was hesitant. He didn’t want to take time off. He was used to being busy, especially after his divorce, but Hugh had only agreed to come on the trip to figure out his feelings for you. 
He just didn’t realize that you’d be here too. 
In the distance, you and Hugh can hear a faint clapping and hollering. You both pull away to look over at the noise and see Blake, Ryan, and their kids jump up in excitement, cheering for the both of you. You see them wave in your direction before they begin to grab their things, making their way back to the parking lot. You then look at Hugh and gaze into his eyes.
“Are they leaving us? Leaving me?” You ask. 
“I can take you back,” Hugh says softly. 
You bite your lower lip and nod. “Only if it isn’t–”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if our hotel rooms are right next to each other,” Hugh chuckles, slowly then moving his hands down as he grasps your backside in his large hands, pulling you flush against him. His gaze darkens as he stares into your eyes. He thinks maybe he might have moved too fast, but when you roll your hips against him, he knows exactly what’s going to happen next. 
You want him just as bad as he does. 
“Hugh,” you whisper, voice laced with desire. “Please.” 
“Tell me, baby.”
“I need you.” You bury your face in the side of his neck and gently nip at his skin, feeling his hands move under you, his long fingers brushing against your core as it causes you to gasp. 
Hugh’s painfully hard against his board shorts and he lets out a low groan when he feels your teeth scrape against the skin at his neck. He feels you squirming against him, moaning into his ear and he has to pull away briefly to look into your eyes. 
“Are you sure?”
“If I have to say please one more time…”
“I don’t mind hearin’ you beg,” he winks. “Come on.” Hugh leads you out of the water and towards his towel in a much more secluded area. You drift from him for a moment to grab your things before following him, watching him lay out his towel before he takes a seat on it, legs spread wide. 
You bite your lower lip and lay out your towel in front of him, dropping to your knees as you crawl towards him until you're seated on your knees between his legs. “We won’t get in trouble, will we?”
Hugh shrugs, reaching down to cup your cheek. “Don’t think so. Ryan made sure that no one but us should be here and–”
“That’s good enough for me.” You lean down and move your hands to the waistband of his board shorts. He’s dripping wet from the water and you can see the outline of his length perfectly due to his shorts sticking to him. You hook your fingers into the waistband and slowly pull it down enough to see his length spring free. Hugh lets out a low groan of relief and reaches behind you to undo the knot at the base of your neck. Once loose, he watches your top fall open to reveal your breasts. He doesn’t have enough time to take in your newly exposed chest because your hand wraps around his base, soft lips grazing the head of his manhood. 
“Ah, baby,” he growls, moving a hand to your shoulder, gripping it tightly as your mouth wraps around his tip. Hugh shuts his eyes and tosses his head back, moving one hand to rest on the towel while the other remains on your shoulder. 
You look up at him, feeling an immediate possessiveness wash over you. He looks so beautiful like this, eyes shut, chest heaving, and at your mercy. 
You begin to stroke his base as your tongue swirls around his tip, lapping at his precum. His groans slowly become louder as you lower your head to take more of him, stroking his base when you realize you can’t take him whole. He’s larger than you expected, girthy and long, and it excites you. As you continue to stroke him in time with sucking his length, you feel Hugh’s hand move from your shoulder to the back of your head as his hips slightly lift itself. He pushes himself further into your mouth, feeling the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat repeatedly. 
“Fuck,” he moans, eyes opening to look down at you. God, Hugh can just come at the sight of you. Tears slightly stinging the corners of your eyes and your mouth stuffed full of him. What a beautiful fucking sight, he thinks.
Slowly, Hugh has to pull away from you because he feels the pit of his stomach tightening, searching for release. He lets out a low growl that reverberates through his chest and you lean up on your knees, licking your lips. Hugh reaches out for you and pulls you on his lap, hurriedly moving your bikini bottom to the side. He grasps his manhood and runs his tip along your length, feeling your wetness coat him with each movement.
“You’re wet for me?” he asks, eyes staring up at you. 
“Only for you.” you reply, eyes fluttering as you feel his tip slowly push into you. He releases his hold on his length and rests his hand on your hip, leaning down to press soft kisses against your chest before he moves onto a breast, flicking his tongue against your nipple repeatedly before he wraps his lips around it. 
You let out a loud moan, moving your hands to his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself onto him, your walls tight and wet sliding down his cock. You feel so full of him and he’s not yet fully in the hilt. The stretch is almost painful, but you’re so wet and throbbing that you have to stop yourself from slamming down onto him. 
“Oh god, Hugh,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders as you move along his length, not yet allowing him to fill you to the hilt as your walls begin to make way for him. 
Hugh moves his lips to your other breast, eyes staring up at you. He wants more of you, needs more of you so he slowly lifts his hips, inching further within your depths. 
“Shit,” he groans, watching as his cock disappears into you completely. Hugh’s hands rest over your hips as you pull him closer to you, chests pressed against one another as you slowly roll your hips against his. “So fucking tight, baby,” he whispers against you, forehead resting on yours. 
“You’re–” you gasp, feeling his hair at the base brush against your clit as you continue your movements. “So big,” you moan, eyes falling shut. 
Hugh gently pecks your lips and takes a hold of your hips to guide you along his length. He watches you reach for his cowboy hat, placing it on top of your head and Hugh has to force himself to hold back his release. 
“You’re so hot,” he moans, allowing you to take control of your movements. Hugh can’t help the way your walls tighten around his cock – you’re so warm and wet, so inviting and tight. He knows he’s close, but he can’t– he can’t finish without you finishing first. 
“Baby,” Hugh whimpers, holding you flush against him in a tight grip. “Don’t– Fuck, baby, don’t move.” 
“It’s okay,” you whisper, hands moving to link at the base of his neck. “You can come, Hugh.”
“No,” he shakes his head, losing his resolve as your hips move forward and backward slowly. “You have to be first– Shit…”
“This won’t be the only time,” you say reassuringly, lightly pecking his lips. You then increase your movements, hips moving forward and backward at a faster pace. Hugh’s so deep in this position and you know you’re close, but you’re determined to have Hugh finish before you. 
“Sweetheart,” Hugh grunts. “Baby, I’m–” His eyes flutter shut as he lets out a loud groan, mouth slightly agape as his fingertips dig almost painfully into your hips. His release shoots inside of you, painting your walls as his manhood throbs within your depths. 
He’s still half hard and you take this moment to begin bouncing along his length, using your hand to reach down between you to rub your clit and Hugh’s eyes narrow. He pushes your hand away and rubs your clit with his thumb in a circular motion. 
Hugh feels possessive and almost animalistic at the sight of you using him to get yourself off. He can feel your walls begin to tremble and he’s still a bit sensitive, but you just feel so fucking good. 
“Come on, baby,” he coos, applying pressure to your clit. “I know you’re there. Come for me, sweetheart.”
That’s all it took. Your walls tighten around his length as your body trembles against him. Hugh moves his hand to wrap his arms around your waist, leaning up to press his lips against yours. He’s still inside of you, his length softening as the moment passes. 
You move your lips lazily against his, heavy breaths passing through the both of you as Hugh pulls back slowly. “Wanna head back to the hotel?” he grins. 
“Oh, hell yeah.” 
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ivysangel · 8 months ago
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surprise post bc my blogs fixed woo hoo!! i initially sent this as an ask to @hanasnx as my contribution to his baby daddy!jason au, but i also wanted to share it here for u guys as a little treat :p
Baby Daddy!Jason, who you co-parent with, in a very civilized way. No joke, the picture of camaraderie between exes. He takes your daughter on the days he's supposed to (which isn't that often, given his occupation) and brings her back on time, always with a little gift for you as well. Flowers, chocolates, a little knick-knack reminiscent of when you were together. It's not because he's in love with you or anything; it's just the principle of the matter. "Happy wife, happy life," not that you were married or even dating, but he figures the mother of his child should get love sometimes.
Baby Daddy!Jason, who, the next time he sees you, it's to drop off something your daughter forgot with him, and as he's handing you the bag, he casually asks why you haven't been asking him to take her more often. You had been for a while when you were going on dates weekly, but for some reason, the relationships never went anywhere, so you just gave up. "Oh, you know, it just wasn't working out." you say off-handedly, "Kept getting ghosted." you sound only marginally disappointed, moreso annoyed. "What a shame, they're really missing out," he says, getting real close to you and taking up your entire field of vision.
Baby Daddy!Jason, who's got your entire calendar memorized and knows that his daughter's not home tonight and that you've got no plans other than watching movies in solitude. He knows you're too stubborn to call him over for company even though you've been giving him fuck me eyes in passing for the past few months, so he figures he just has to take matters into his own hands and corner you until you give in like he knows you want to.
Baby Daddy!Jason, who fucks you on damn near every surface in the house, telling you he's just christening the place like he would've already done if you lived together. Whispers apologies in your ears about scaring off all of your dates while he's splitting you open, bullying his cock into you while your eyes roll to the back of your head because you haven't been fucked this good in years, not since the last time you'd been with him. You're face is deep in some pillows when you realize the memories you had of his dick pale in comparison to the real thing, and you aren't sure you could go back to using your imagination to get off after tonight.
Baby Daddy!Jason, who keeps you up all night until your pussy's red and puffy from how many times it'd come in contact with his hips while he was fucking you. Fat tip kissing your cervix until you were clawing at his biceps, begging him to give you some reprieve, tears in your eyes while you babbled incoherently, too lost in the feeling of him to make any sense. He admits in the midst of sex that he tried to get over you; he really did, but he just couldn't; he just couldn't picture you with another man in any capacity. The thought of someone else touching you, fucking you, loving you, made his stomach turn, filling him with rage and an overwhelming need to claim you as his.
Baby Daddy!Jason, who's a level-headed, non-fragile ego'd man until it comes to his family, which, contrary to what some would say, did not only consist of his daughter but you too, and any guy who tried to get with you was a threat. he didn't know the intentions of other men, but he knew his own, which was to keep his little family happy as long as he was alive. If that meant putting a gun to the head of anyone who made a move on you and consoling you by stretching you out the way he knew you liked until you just said "fuck it" and let him put another baby in you, then so be it.
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cvpidzcvrse · 4 months ago
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𝔄𝔯𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔉'𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩?
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MDNI, skadaddle nigga
✦A/N: i swear i try to post more but like but sitting on my ass is just rlly fun to do. BUT OFC I CANT BE GONE FOR LONGG!! also i didn’t proofread so ignore typos. here’s an ony fic that i pushed out my pussy bc i’m hot like that. ENJOY!
⋆.ೃ࿔*・Synopsis: You and ony have been fwb for a few months now. On a strict “no emotions involved” type of situation. But he can’t help it if he gets jealous when you start talking to someone else. Your famous last words? "Make me, nigga."
⋆.ೃ࿔*・Wc: 2,233
⋆.ೃ࿔*・Warnings: Mdom, argument, jealous ony, degradation, light choking, oral male!receiving, manhandling, spanking, face fucking, orgasm denial, fingering, very little praise, he’s mean asf, p in v, and finishing inside (practice safe sex)
(reader is black)
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You and Onyankapon have been friends with benefits for a couple of months now. It all started because you wanted to lose your virginity badly. You were gnawing at the bars of your enclosure, being that dick hungry you put pornstars to shame. But you didn’t want to lose something so special to someone you barely knew. So you went down a line of people you knew, most of them you immediately shot down. Connie was a whore, Armin had a girlfriend, Jean is…Jean, so what was left was your best friend. He took the opportunity and ran with it, now you guys fuck at least twice a week.
Ony made the sex strictly just sex, with no relationship or strings attached. Just adults blowing off steam almost every weekend. He said it was ok to talk to other people, that’s where Eren comes in. You met him through Armin 2 weeks ago and you guys haven't stopped talking since. Even now, you’re at Ony’s house watching a movie but you can’t separate your eyes from your screen. He invited you over with the notion of just “watching a movie” but he just wanted to fuck, and you knew that. 
“Me Personally, I’d definitely survive in the quiet place. Like all you have to do is be quiet, it’s easy.”
You nod your head slowly, paying no attention to Ony’s statement. Your fingers are flying across your phone, you’re having a deep conversation with Eren. Ony looks over at you and rolls his eyes, you can feel his attitude radiating off of him and steam coming out of his ears.
“My nigga, you’re not even listening to me,” 
“First, I’m not ‘your nigga’. Secondly, I am listening…”
You trail off after hearing your phone go off with a ding. You snatch your phone out of your lap quickly and start typing away. He gives you the most crazed look he can muster. 
“Nigga, are you f’real?”
You look over at Ony’s reaction and the fact that he’s acting like such a drama queen right now. There’s no way he’s hurt by the fact that you’re talking to other people. He’s the one who made the rules in the first place, so why does he care who you talk to? He’s starting to regret his rule-making skills. Your flawless brown skin-pops with your white hoodie and sweatpants to match. Even before y’all started hooking up he thought you were the most beautiful person ever. 
“Damn, what the fuck are you talking about? Are you good?”
You frowned at his outburst, confused by the sudden change in tone. You finally put your phone to the side and put your attention on Ony. 
“You’ve been on your phone this whole fucking time. Paying absolutely no attention to me or the movie. Who are you even texting?”
“No One-” 
Ding..
Ony groans before snatching your phone out of your lap and softly pushing you back from getting it. You get up from your position on the couch and start reaching over his head but his grip on your wrist won’t budge. 
“Let’s see who you’re so fucking focused on…”
He looks at the screen and goes silent before turning his head at you. You’re standing there with an overly irked look, hands on your hips, and eyeing him up and down.
“...Eren!? Eren fucking Jeager!? Don’t tell me you’re actually talking to that sorry ass nigga?’
You roll your eyes at his possessiveness. There’s no reason why he should be concerned about who you text and who you decide to mingle with. It’s your pussy and can determine who it wants, right? 
“It’s not something you should be concerned about. Shit, just give me the dick so I can leave, that’s why you called me over right?”
His eyes go wide at your boldness. He can’t tell if you’re upset or just trying to rile him up—either way, it’s making him go insane. 
“Take that bass out yo’ voice mama. I’m looking out for you, Eren isn’t the type you want. Stop talking to that nigga”
He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue showing clear signs of irritation. His baritone voice sends chills down your spine. Even when he’s irritated he still looks handsome, the warning look in his eyes makes your pussy clench.
“Who are you talking to right now? I ain’t gotta do shit, f’real. I’m not gonna let some Chiptole bag-tatted ass nigga tell me what the fuck to do.” 
Ony’s eyes are bulging out of his head and the vein on his forehead is starting to grow. He isn't fond of your attitude, he snatched you up multiple times because of it. He slowly gets up from his spot on the couch, now looking down at you with a dark look in his eye. 
“Watch your tone…”
He says eerily calm, his low voice coming out as silk to your ears. It’s like he’s talking directly to your pussy and she’s listening to every word he’s saying. Instead of standing down like he said you decide to stand on business, which is one mistake amongst many.
“Make me, nigga..”
You scuffed and rolled your eyes. That statement alone made Ony let out a rich chuckle, his face displaying a cheeky smirk. Before you even have time to gauge his actions you feel his callous hand wrap around your neck, forcing you to look up at him.
“Make you what? Say it again..”
He whispers seductively in your ear. You turn away from him before he roughly drags your face back to his. You shake your head not wanting to even breathe, You started this mess now he has to finish it. 
“The cock slut doesn’t wanna speak, huh? Take off your clothes since you want my dick so badly.”
The tent in his pants is now noticeable. He lets go of your neck and sits back down on the couch. You start untying your sweatpants, then slowly taking over your panties, followed by your hoodie and bra. Now you’re standing in front of him, all dignity stripped away with your clothes. 
“Get on your knees and suck this dick, I’ll show you exactly how to watch that mouth one of yours.” 
You nod before sitting in front of him unbuckling his belt. You slide down his pants to reveal his bulging cock through his underwear. You slowly pull down his underwear, earning a scuff from Ony. He pushes your hand away and pulls his cock out himself. His leaking mushroom tip was just inches away from your face. 
“Open your mouth.”
His passionless voice makes your clit throb and your stomach drop. He’s giving you no mercy tonight and you know that. You open your mouth wide as directed and impatiently wait for his next. He chuckles at how pitiful you look at this moment, taking a mental snapshot in his head. You’re waiting for his next command, your hand in between your thighs as you subtly grind on your hand for some type of friction. He grabs the base of his cock and slaps the tip on your tongue. 
“You like this shit, don’t you? Go on, suck it.”
You wrap your plump lips around his big cock, bobbing your head slowly. You trace circles around his tip with your tongue. He lets out a string of groans, feeling your warm mouth wrapped around his cock. He grabs the back of your neck and pushes you down on his cock roughly. You gag when his cock grazes the back of your throat with force. Tears swell in your eyes as he fucks your face senselessly. The vibrations of your moans drive him crazy, your muffled moans and tears send him over the edge. 
“Mhm…Swallow this cock—fuck”
His head lays on the couch cushion behind him. His hand travels from your neck to the back of your head, gripping your hair harshly. Your faux locs are now scrunched up in his hand. He starts pushing your head down rougher as his pace starts getting sloppy. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth and hot tears flow down your face. 
“Fuck–I’m about to cum. Make me cum, slut.” 
You moan at his command, your fingers travel down to your soaked pussy, and start massaging your aching clit. You hollow your cheeks and bob your head at his messy tempo pushing him closer and closer to his climax. White ropes shoot down your throat, and the warm thick substance slides your throat. His dick flops out your mouth with a ‘pop’. You rub fast circles on your clit wanting to cum as hard as he did. Right before you make it you feel Ony grab your wrist, halting any movement. 
“Who said you could touch yourself? Get up…”
You pout at your ruined orgasm. You get up before he grabs your waist and pulls you onto his lap. Your ass grazes his cock and your back is to his chest. He spreads your legs and hands as he traces small circles on your clit. Your head falls back in satisfaction, he smoothly inserts two of his long fingers inside your damp cunt. You grab his arm roughly, leaving dark nail marks on his tatted skin. His finger moves in and out of you with wet sounds accompanying it. 
“F…fuck…right there..”
You whine into his neck when you feel his pace quicken. He’s knuckles deep inside of you, the speed of his strokes increasing by the second. He chuckles at the sight, you’re drooling, your eyes screwed shut, and pornographic moans flooding the living room.
He groans as you squirm in his lap, your bare ass rubbing against his hard cock. He uses his other hand to rub your sensitive clit. Your grip tightens on his arm, your nail prints getting deeper every time he picks up his pace. His fingers plunging into your cunt with such speed and aggression brings you closer to your orgasm. 
“F—Fuck…s…slow down…I’m about…to—”
Ony chuckles before pausing his movement. He removes his fingers from your sloppy pussy and trails his hand over to your ass and gives it a small squeeze. 
“Only good girls get to cum. C’mon, face down ass up. Right now.” 
You whine at the absence of friction and he gives your ass a hard ‘Smack’ in response. He tossed you over to the other side of the couch before turning you on your stomach. He slides his cock on your warm slit, teasing your greedy pussy. He gives your ass a sharp slap before plunging his cock into your pussy without warning. 
You let out a porno-worthy moan and grab one of the couch cushions for stability. Ony quickly picks up the pace, abusing your cervix with every stroke. He gives your ass a couple of harsh slaps before grabbing the back of your neck and pushing your face into the couch cushion. The living room is overflowing with moans, grunts, and the sound of your sopping wet pussy. You put your hand back to stop Ony’s forceful thrust. 
“S—Shit…slo—ow…down…fuck” 
“Nah, Take this shit…Fuck, you’re such a slut.” 
Ony slaps your hand away before placing both of his hands on your hips, pulling you deeper into every thrust. You stifle your moans with your both as the bully of your pussy continues. 
‘Ding’
‘Ding’
You hear him groan as his strokes cease. He grabs your phone from the other side of the couch before scoffing at the name. 
“What the fuck does this lame ass nigga want?... Hold on.” 
You can hear the smirk in his voice, his cock going at a slower pace than before. You let out a few whimpers that earn you a harsh slap on your already stinging ass. 
“Hush…” 
His monotone voice sends chills down your spine. You have no clue what's going on behind you until you notice the shadow of your silhouette on the neighboring wall. 
‘Is that a flashlight? Wait…is he recording?’
Before you can confirm your answer he goes back to abusing your pussy. You muffle a moan with the pillow in front of you. He presses your body against the couch, the only thing talking is the wetness of your pussy.
“Shit…She’s talking to me, mama. C’mon, tell him who this pussy belongs to.”
You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out but slutty moans. He gives your ass a hard smack, placing his free hand on your lower back. 
“Y-You! F—Fuck!... You do! You own this…mmph…slutty pussy!”
You choke out, completely cock drunk. You hear him chuckle and groan. You pussy turning him into a mess also. His strokes begin to get messy and you feel his cock twitch inside of you. 
“Shit mama…cum on my cock baby .”
He reaches his free hand around to trace circles on your clit.  Almost like clockwork, you leave your juices all over his cock and coat his shaft in a slippery mess. You feel his tip hit your G-spot a few more times before you feel his warm and sticky cum engulf your inside. His cock is covered in both of your juices, a ring of the mix at the base of his cock. 
Your brain is fogged with lust, you can barely think right now. All you can see are stars and darkness before finally feeling him pull out. 
“Did my dick feel good?”
“Mhm…”
“You’re my slut, right?”
“Mhm…” 
“Thank you, mama."
[Sent: 1 Attachment.]
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confused-pyramid · 6 months ago
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Breaking Point
pairing: art donaldson x fem!reader
summary: You and Art were hitting partners (and a bit more) in college, so when you run into him a decade later at the U.S. Open, old sparks reignite...
word count: 3.4k
warnings: SMUT, p in v, oral (fem!receiving), slight marking, drinking
a/n: I watched Challengers last night and then wrote this whole thing in one sitting. Nothing in this is really canon other than Art being a major simp lol so no spoilers for the movie! I usually make playlists (or at least find a few songs that get me in the zone) when writing, so I thought I'd start sharing them here too if people are interested!
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You should've known he'd be here. You've been following his career for the last decade since you graduated, and ever since he won Wimbledon last year, he's been tennis royalty, but a small part of you still thought you wouldn't run into him here. At the fucking U.S. Open.
Stanford was a lifetime ago, and you haven't kept in touch with anyone from the college team, but there was always something about Art Donaldson that stuck with you. Ten years later, that hasn't changed.
"It's been so long," he calls out when he spots you from across the practice courts. "I didn't think I'd see you."
You didn't either, and you still haven't decided how you feel about it yet, but when he jogs over to your side, you just shrug. "Guess it's your lucky day."
He smiles, and his teeth glimmer in the bright sunlight. "It certainly is."
The loud thwacks of tennis balls hitting rackets echo around you, but you can't seem to focus on anything but the man standing in front of you. He looks good.
He was beautiful in college too, whether he was training across the net or slipping into your bed, but it feels different now, with so much time apart. He looks like a man now.
"Anyway," Art says, jerking you back to reality. "We should get a drink sometime. To catch up."
He adds the last part almost as an afterthought, but it doesn't escape your notice how his eyes have been trailing up and down your body since he walked over.
A drink could mean almost anything with Art Donaldson, but you're too curious to refuse. "Sure. This weekend, after the semi-finals."
He nods, his eyes glinting with amusement, and you grab your bag from the bench beside you before looping the strap over your shoulder.
You walk off the practice courts after one last glance over your shoulder, and you feel his eyes following along until the doors swing shut behind you.
***
He should've expected this. You were a firecracker in college, and you kept him on his toes every single day you were together, so he really should have known what he was getting into when he met you for drinks that weekend.
Instead, he's one too many beers in, and his buzz is only enhancing the glow of your beauty in the hazy bar light. Your dress isn't even that low cut, but something about the shadows glancing over your strong shoulders reminds him of late nights in the Stanford dorms after a hard practice when there was only one thing he wanted more than sleep.
"You played really well this morning," he says genuinely as he sets his beer back onto the table. "After that first set, Mueller didn't stand a chance."
You flash him a dazzling smile as you shrug, resting your chin on your palm. "I had her after the third game, but thanks. It was a quick match."
Art hasn't taken his eyes off of you since you sat down, and while prolonged eye contact usually makes you nervous, you find that you're actually enjoying the attention quite a bit. Attentiveness was never an issue with him, and you would normally give in to your urges, but there's just too much history with him, and you can't afford to lose focus. Not when the title is so close you can taste it.
"I hear the networks are eyeing you for a commentator post," you say, trying to change the subject.
You trace your finger around the rim of your nearly empty margarita, before lifting it to take a final sip, and you don't miss how his throat bobs as you lick the salt off your lips.
"Uh, yeah," he mumbles, clearing his throat. "It was just some chatter, but I'm not looking to retire anytime soon."
You frown. "Is that right?" He's playing better than ever, but he definitely hasn't been himself out on the court in years.
He glances down, clearly trying to avoid the scrutiny, and when his eyes land on your empty glass, he changes the subject again. "You want another drink?"
You shake your head, knowing that another will lead to a less than fun morning, but he isn't done yet.
"You sure?" His eyes find yours again, and this time the eye contact feels primal. "It doesn't have to be here."
Your eyebrows lift and you tilt your head with a knowing smile. "Where were you thinking?"
"I don't know," he shrugs, before his lips curve up into a cheeky grin. "My room's nice."
You saw it coming from a mile away, but it still pulls a laugh out of you. "Oh, I'm sure it is, but this isn't college anymore, Art. You should get some sleep...focus on your match in the morning."
You push your glass forward and stand up, nodding at him as you turn to leave, but then you see him stand too out of the corner of your eye.
"I'll walk you to your car."
He looks at you with a hint of amusement in his expression, and you can't help but want to play along, even though Art Donaldson was nothing but trouble for you.
You don't respond, instead just stepping out from around the table and walking out the front doors of the bar. You don't have to turn back to know he's right behind you, and when you reach your car, parked in the center of the nearly empty parking lot, you spin around.
He doesn't stop walking until he has you practically boxed in by your driver's side door, his face less than a foot from yours as he tucks his hands into his pockets.
He had pushed his sleeves back at some point in the night, from the humid summer heat of the bar, and you can see the veins on his forearms now, under the dim light of the street lamps.
"This is me," you say jokingly, tipping your chin at your car as he looks at you with an expression you can't distinguish. "I'm good from here."
He doesn't move.
It's not that you expected him to give up so easily; you had just forgotten how persistent he could be.
Art's mouth stretches into a slanted smile. "Do you remember the Davis Invitational? Junior year."
Speaking of his persistence...he had been pursuing you for months, not in any tangible way, but you always knew what he was thinking.
After the invitational, where you and Art had been the respective men's and women's champions, you had gone back to his dorm to celebrate. Three hours and just as many vodka shooters later, he had finally gotten you in his bed. Not that you were complaining.
Art knew his way around your body, and even that first night, he had managed to get you off more times than you can remember.
"What about it?" you shoot back, your eyebrows raising at the insinuation.
"Nothing," he says with a shrug, but you don't miss the humor glinting in his eyes. "You just used to be a lot more fun to celebrate with."
"Fuck you," you spit out, shoving his shoulder harder than you mean to. He barely budges, instead grabbing your hand and tugging you a few inches closer, and suddenly a wave of lust washes over you, making your breath hitch.
You press your thighs together under your dress, hoping he can't feel the heat spreading across your skin, but then his smile turns to a smirk and you know you're done for.
"What do you think?" he whispers, leaning in so close that his lips brush over your earlobe. "Want to celebrate?"
Molten lava pools in your gut and you are only peripherally aware of his hand sliding down your hips to the flowy edge of your dress. His fingers glide over your skin as his hand goes under the loose fabric, before rising up to grab your ass, drawing your hips flush with his.
Your arousal is already starting to soak through your panties, but the feeling of his hard bulge pressed up against you sends you flying back to reality.
You lift your hands to his chest and push him back so that he's a few steps away from you. It's not far enough, but at least you can't feel him from there. "I'm not fucking you, Art."
He shrugs, his smirk only slightly shaken. "Who said anything about fucking? I just wanted to talk."
You huff out a laugh. "You're funny. Besides, I'm too tired for this. I need to rest up before my match."
"What about tomorrow night then?" His lip is still curved up in a smirk, but there's an earnestness in his gaze that surprises you.
"What makes you think you'll still be here tomorrow?"
His mouth spreads into a wide smile. "I always win."
You snort. "Fine. Win your match and we can talk."
You don't miss the grin on his face as you climb into your car and leave.
***
You win your next match in straight sets again, so by the time you're out of the locker room, Art's match is still in play. Driven by a mixture of curiosity and intrigue, you head over to his court and find a seat halfway up the stands.
He has won two of three sets, and he's leading the fourth, so with the prospect of the match ending soon, you use the time to observe him from a different angle.
His form is much better than it was in college, and you've seen him play countless times on TV, but you haven't really let yourself see how good he looks out there. The sinewy muscles rippling in his arms as he lifts them to serve. The rugged sturdiness of his legs as he races back and forth across the court.
You wish you could be down there with him, running your hands over the smooth lines of his abdomen, tasting the drops of sweat as they roll down his body-
The crowd erupts in cheers, and you are thrust back into reality as Art throws his arms into the air with a loud whoop. The scoreboard confirms his victory, and you clap along with the audience as he shakes his opponent's hand and heads over to his chair.
People around you stand up to leave, but you stay in your seat, watching as he grabs his bag and stuffs his rackets inside. When he wipes a towel over his face, his head turns up and his eyes immediately go to you, like he knew you were here the whole time.
Your stomach does an involuntary flip and he flashes his eyebrows at you as you bit the inside of your lip, trying to hold back a smile.
When he ducks back down to grab his things, you stand up quickly to avoid letting him see your blush and follow the rest of the crowd off of the stands.
***
You hear it late that night. Three little raps on your hotel room door, just before midnight.
You're in the finals, and you don't have any friends here to celebrate with, so you were sipping a beer and watching old match recordings when you heard the knock.
There's no one else who would come to see you this late, so you're not surprised when you open the door to find Art, dressed in a tee shirt and comfy-looking pajama pants.
"What are you doing here?" you ask, even though you already know the answer.
Art just looks at you, his pupils already massive. "You said if I win, we could talk." He shrugs. "I won."
"Okay," you concede, opening the door wider to let him in. "Just talking then."
He nods, before following you inside and shutting the door.
"You want anything to drink?" you ask as he trails behind you.
He shakes his head. "I'm good."
You grab your beer bottle from the side table and sit down on the floor, crossing your legs beneath you.
Art sits across from you, his feet in front of him and his elbows on his knees. You were assigned to a modestly sized room, but for someone as tall as him, the space must feel cramped.
"How did the match feel?" you ask, taking a swig of beer.
He thinks for a moment. "It was close at first, but once I shook my legs out, it became a breeze."
"Your legs were never the problem," you say, leveling him with a serious look. "It was always your attitude. Or your confidence."
He frowns, his eyebrows scrunching slightly. "I'm plenty confident."
"You are now," you tell him as you swirl the bottle around in your hand. "You won Wimbledon, you have a reason to be confident."
That makes him smile. "So you're saying my legs are fine."
"Yeah," you say before you can process what you're saying. "You looked good out there."
His smile turns to a smirk so fast it nearly gives you whiplash. "You think I look good?"
You let out an exasperated scoff. "At tennis."
His grin doesn't falter so you roll your eyes at him before lifting the bottle to your lips to take another swig. When you tilt the bottle back down to swallow, his hand reaches forward to take it from you. Your grip on the beer doesn't loosen, so the motion sends you pitching forward.
Your mouth parts with a small yelp as his arm wraps around you, tugging you closer, and before you can process what's happening, his lips are on yours.
If you let yourself think too hard, you would realize that there is way too much shared history and way too much baggage here for this to be a good idea...so that's why you don't.
Instead, you let him pull your body flush against his and when his tongue slides over the seam of your lips, you grant him access immediately. Your shirts come off in quick succession and you gasp as his hands run up and down your body, his strong, calloused fingers grasping at every inch of purchase they can find. Yours reach up to tangle in his messy hair, and when his lips move down your neck, your grip tightens, making him moan quietly against your skin.
Something about being on the floor takes you back to your college days, when you'd both be so worked up after practice that you couldn't even make it to the bed, but that feels too real right now.
"Art," you whisper as he runs his lips and teeth over your neck, before replacing it with his tongue to soothe the quickly blossoming marks. "Art, the bed. Now."
It takes him a second to process your words, but when he does, he loops an arm around your waist and lifts you up and onto the bed in one motion, before pushing you back onto the covers.
By the time your head hits the bed, he's already pulling your shorts and panties down, exposing you to the cool air. His lips follow the path of his hands as they trace up your legs, making you squirm under the hot touch of his rough fingers. He presses wet kisses to the insides of your thighs before spreading them apart and dropping to his knees on the floor in front of you.
"So wet for me," he whispers, almost to himself, before he dives in, his mouth making lewd noises as he licks a thick stripe up your core. "You taste so good."
He lifts your legs over his shoulders to give himself some leverage as he makes a mess between your thighs, licking and sucking your clit into his mouth before fucking you with his tongue.
His grip on your thighs is the only thing keeping you pinned to the bed as you writhe beneath him, trying to not squeeze your legs together from the heat spreading up your core.
His mouth feels amazing and it takes only minutes before you're already nearing the edge. You don't want to come until he is inside of you, though, so you yank his hair, pulling him up and off of you.
He looks up at you through his lashes, and he looks ethereal with his disheveled hair and his chin wet with your slick.
You, on the other hand, look like heaven itself with your eyes half-hooded from pleasure, and he can't help the grin that crosses his face as he licks his lips and climbs over you onto the bed. He lets you taste yourself as he kisses you again, and he lets out a low groan when you bite his lip just hard enough to sting.
"Fuck me," you gasp, your voice too breathy to be actually authoritative. "Fuck me the way I like."
Art grins at your desperate tone and the wild lust in your eyes, committing this image to memory for a later time when you're much further away.
He kicks his pants off as he lifts you both further up the bed, and after covering himself with a condom from his back pocket, he lines himself up and slowly pushes forward.
He gives you a few moments to adjust to his size before slowly pulling out nearly all the way and then thrusting in again.
The slight pain turns to pleasure almost immediately, but he keeps his pace steady so as not to hurt you. You need more right now, so you wrap your legs around him for leverage and flip him over so that you're straddling him.
He groans as his head hits the pillow, and when he tries to sit up, you press your hands to his chest, pushing him down as you ride him. This position gives you a lot more control, and you use it to your advantage as you bounce yourself on his cock, feeling the way he fills you up so fully from this higher angle.
His fingers dig into your hips as he helps lift you up and down, and his eyes are practically feral as he watches the spot where his cock disappears inside of you.
He's the perfect size to fill you up completely, and with each swivel of your hips, you get closer and closer to your climax, which is approaching so fast you can taste it.
You cry out when he hits exactly the right spot deep inside of you, and his eyes fly to yours as your movements start to stutter from your impending release.
Needing to see the look on your face when you come, he pushes your lower back forward so you fall against his chest, before lifting himself up to meet you halfway. With one arm locked around you, he brings his other hand down between the two of you to rub quick circles over your clit. The new angle lets him thrust up into you, and the increased pace of his movements mixed with the speed of his fingers sends you flying over the edge.
Your mouth falls open with a loud cry, and you squeeze him so tightly he's practically seeing stars. You look so beautiful when you come, like a goddess sent down here just for him, and when your eyes meet his, he finds his own climax.
His body jerks forward with the force of his release, and you let him thrust a few more times as he finally finishes inside of you.
After pulling out, he tugs you down to lay next to him, and at first you let him, but the emotions warring inside of you don't stay quiet for long.
You know that whatever this was isn't going to go anywhere. You didn't work in college, and you won't work now, and you don't want anyone to get hurt again, so you have to make a choice. Now.
"I need to get some rest," you say quietly, a tiny part of you hoping he doesn't hear you. "Before the next match."
"Yeah," he sighs after a beat. "Me too."
You let him hold you for a moment longer, before he unwraps himself from your body and sits up, tugging his shirt and pants back on. You tug the sheet back and wrap it around your torso as he stands up and walks to the door.
You're not sure what you're expecting as he goes to leave, but what you get is a silent nod as the door swings shut behind him.
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unknown-limes · 2 years ago
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It's weird being in my twenties now bc I do not miss the nitty-gritty details of being a teenager, but I do miss some of the experiences I had. Like, I read a ton of fanfiction and it made me feel so many emotions. I practically bounced off the walls in excitement and giggle bc a scene got really spicy, and I remember actually breaking into sobs once. None of the fanfic I read now really makes me feel the same way. Published books still make that happen for me, but it's not the same as staying up late to get in one more chapter bc I swear the rare pair is gonna kiss.
Except, last night I stumbled on one based off the 2003 Peter Pan movie that put me in the same mood. I literally stayed up all night to read the whole thing and didn't feel tired for a second bc I was rooting so hard to the characters. It was nice. Idk, guess I'm just feeling nostalgic now.
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sanjisboyfie · 11 months ago
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golden retriever boyfriend ! itadori yuji
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yuji x male reader
-> very short but i wanted to show smoe love to this cutie wootie patootie.
- oh my fucking god. the absolute sweetest boyfriend i fear. this guy literally praises the ground that you walk on and is at your beck and call as if you were a deity and he is your servant. your day is just him constantly asking if he can do anything for you to make you happier, usually the response is just his company, which he blushes and playfully smacks you for.
"honey, do you wanna go to the store to buy some more snacks before we binge watch?" yuji asked, a wide grin on his face, "gojo-sensei forgot to take back his wallet he leant me from my last mission, so we can splurge and he won't even notice!"
you laughed at his eagerness, but shook your head. instead, you opened your arms up for him to cuddle himself into and said, "i just want to spend some time with you, i missed you,"
without wasting another second, yuji jumped into your arms and peppered kisses all over your neck, jaw, and face, "i missed you even moreee!! let's turn on your show already, then," yuji contentedly closed his eyes, breathing in your scent as his cheek was pressed against your chest.
he was in heaven.
- constantly thinking of you. he's always seeing things on the street that remind him of you, always wondering if you'd like something he picked out for you from a street vendor, will constantly be talking nobara and megumi's ear off about, "oh, [name] really likes that restaurant! should i buy him something to go?" "haha, me and [name] watched that movie last night and he really liked the main character's best friend, even though i liked the main character more!" "nobara, do you think [name] is more handsome wearing a bracelet or necklace? huh? well, i think he lookes handsome either way, but i don't have money for both so i need someone unbiased to choose."
they think they've heard enough, but they very clearly haven't since yuji always goes above and beyond in talking about you.
you're there to hear the praises he sings for you 50% of the time, but the other 50%...poor nobara and megumi because they gotta deal with his yappin ass. he never shuts up in general (he's just a bby) but when he gets on a tangent talking about you ... it's like this guy doesn't need to breathe.
he's just so happy and content with the relationship you guys have he can't help but make it known to everyone around!!! another thing is he could care less if it annoys the fuck out of everyone around him, he just nods his head at their annoyance and then goes, "well, anyway, haha, as i was saying before i was interuppted!"
literally inumaki probably has had to restraint himself from telling yuji to "shut the fuck up" because he just wouldn't shut up.
- yuji likes to make it obvious to you how loyal of a boyfriend he is. he barely glances at other people on the street if he's with you. he has actual hearts in his eyes when he even sees you in his periphereals, if you are right in front of him, dear lord save him.
the two of you were walking down the street to the conveince store. your pinkies were linked together as yuji listened to you talk about your day and the training you had to do. at one point you were complaining about gojo's antics as an irresponsible teacher and yuji couldn't help but think how adorable that annoyed look on your face was.
the pout on your lips, even you rolling your eyes was so attractive to him. he was enthralled by your story and, of course, you, he didn't even realize that he walked right into the clear glass door of the store.
as he face planted staight into the wall, you immediately are fussing over if he is alright. he turns to you with a grin, nodding his head to show he was fine. but the smallest drop of blood coming from his nose said otherwise.
and as you fretted over his very minor injury, he couldn't help but sigh in content as he thought you tending to him was the most heartwarming thing he has ever experienced.
"you'd be a great nurse, [name]," he says, not minding the subtle glare you threw at him, "your hands are so soft and gentle-"
"they're about to smack you if you don't shut up," you gruffly replied, but yuji wasn't deterred at all in singing your praises even more.
"you're so kind to me," he says with a dreamy look in his eyes.
once again, you sighed heavily at your boyfriend's attitude, pinching his ear, "quit it, yuji! what if you actually got hurt, you're lucky it was just a rush of blood. you need to be more focused, especially if we're gonna be out there fighting curses,"
yuji, unfortunately, doesn't take any of your warnings seriously. as he presses his cheek to the palm of his hand, he just stares at you lovingly, "what do you think? should we buy you a cute little nurse outfit and i can be your sick patient? you'd look so handsome in scrubs!"
another pinch to his ear, "yuji! are you even listening?!"
- has this really adorable habit of just getting lost in whatever you're saying and blinking owlishly at you with a very cute smile on his face. it's a really adorable sight, but when you're actually trying to tell him something, he's just looking at you like ":3" and not at all listening to what you're saying.
"gojo-sensei said to be extra careful because the blades were just sharpened, alright?" you advised, looking at the myriad of cursed tools that you were going to be training with. "hm, what do you think suits your fighting style more, babe?"
yuji only tightened his grip around your waist, burying his face into your neck as he was just too focused on your body against his to even begin formulating an answer to your question. even though it was a fairly easy question to answer.
"itadori yuji," you warn, sensing that he was spacing out once again.
"noooo," he whines, squeezing you tight, "'m your baby, not itadori yuji," he complains, exaggerating his name as if it were the worst sound in the world.
"well, you're going to stay itadori yuji until you answer my question," you say, wondering why you had to disclipline your boyfriend as if he were your child. you soften up though when you hear him whine once again, burying his head deeper into your neck.
ruffling his hair as a way of comforting him, ultimately caving in to his whines and attitude, you softly say, "baby, can you just help me out really quick?"
"kisses after i do?"
"of course,"
yuji is grinning like a fool and is suddenly very intrigued in the conversation on what curse tool works best with his fighting style.
GIVE ME ITADORI YUJI AS MY BOYFRIEND and id treat him like a king, thats all im saying. he deserves so much love, please.
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kat651 · 3 months ago
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touch starved (Bucky x reader)
warnings: none, pure fluff.
word count: 1473
Everyone lives au
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Bucky had been dating you for almost a year now and he hasn't given you much physical contact except for the occasional holding of hands. Even his kisses, though sweet, were always short but passionate. You hadn't pushed it, figuring he just wasn't big on physical touch. Which was hard for you since touch was something you loved. You got your hugs and snuggles elsewhere though. Thor, and Steve didn't mind prolonged hugs. Thor was huge on touch, and always knew when you needed a hug. And Nat was your go to for cuddles. You'd cuddle Thor if both you and him were single but you weren't and it would be weird for you to do so, also it wouldn't be the most appropriate thing either. And Morgan! Morgan saw you as a big sister, she loved to watch movies with you while snuggling up in your lap. 
At first Tony would tell Morgan to leave you be, but you immediately told Tony that you didn't mind at all. Morgan was a little snuggle bug, which you needed. 
Bucky sat on the couch, watching tv, well he had it on but he didn't really care for the film he was just wondering how on earth to tell you that he was craving touch. He had been since he got his mind back, but why would anyone want to snuggle up to an x assassin/ murderer?
“Something bothering you Buck?” Steve asked, sitting down on the couch.
Bucky sighed, “i- i just… i don't know how to tell y/n that i…” bucky looked away. “Nevermind it's dumb.”
“Bucky what is it?” 
Bucky sighed. “I… I feel empty…”
“Empty?” Dr. Strange asked, sitting. “Empty how?”
Bucky sighed, he knew that Strange was the one person he couldn't argue with. “I…it's rather personal…”
Dr. Strange used his magic to make his lips zip closed. Bucky sighed but knew he'd have to speak eventually… “I don't know, I guess I just feel almost… cold inside… like a warmth is missing…" Bucky paused. “I don't know why i feel this way, y/n has never made me feel like she doesnt care i just…” 
Bucky paused as you walked in with Morgan on your shoulders. “Have you guys seen Tony?” you asked. 
“He’s in the lab with Bruce.” Steve said. 
“Ok. thanks Steve.” you said turning and walking back out.
“I want that…” bucky said, pointing to where you had been moments earlier. 
“You want to ride around on y/n’s shoulders? Buck no offense but I think you'd break her back, you're too big." Steve said.
Bucky growled. “No, I want her to.. To…” bucky mumbled the rest of his sentence under his breath. 
“What?”
Bucky sighed. “I want her touch… you know, her to curl up against my side like Morgan does with y/n… i… i don't know why, i don't-”
“It sounds like your touch starved…” Strange said. “When's the last time you've hugged someone for longer than ten seconds? 
“1945.” Bucky said without even having to think. “I haven't danced since then either…”
Strange frowned. “Yeah, if you want that empty and cold feeling to go away you're gonna need to let her hold you.” he said before standing and walking off. “Wong's calling. I have to take this…”
Bucky frowned. “What so I'm just supposed to go up to her and say ‘hold me’ like I'm some baby. No thanks…”
“What are we talking about?” nat asked, plopping down on the couch. 
“Buck's too scared to tell y/n he needs a hug.” Steve teased.
Bucky punched Steve, “I will kill you.”
Nat chuckled. “Then don't tell her, just randomly come up behind her and hug her. Don't tell anyone but that's what Bruce does every morning. If he doesn't randomly hug me I know he's angry about something…”
Bucky thought about this as Nat and Steve got a call for a mission. 
“Tonight’s movie night, you can snuggle up to her for over an hour!” Steve shouted as he ran out of the room behind nat. 
Bucky smiled and stood before heading to Bruce’s lab. He decided he was going to try the surprise hug from behind thing on you.
When he arrived in the lab you were braiding Morgan's hair as she sat in a chair. Bucky smiled, Pepper had asked you to watch her one time during the blip and now wherever you went Morgan was almost always following you. If she wasnt that was probably because she was with her ‘big brother’ peter. Bucky also knew that Morgan was a little shy around him. Which didn’t surprise him, Bucky was tall, quiet, and muscular and his arm was made completely of metal. 
Bucky waited for Morgan to go over to Tony before wrapping you in a surprise hug. 
You shook your head. “Thor, how many times do I have to tell you not to do that?’ you turned and a smile spread across your face. “Oh hey bucky…” you pressed a kiss on Bucky's cheek. “Hi…” you whispered, leaning back so you were even closer to him. “What did you do?”
“What?” 
“Bucky you only hug me after you've done something you regret. What did you do?”
Bucky turned you around so you were facing him. “I honestly just wanted a hug this time…ok?”
You let your head fall on Bucky's shoulder. “Ok…”
Morgan ran back over and paused, she wasn't sure what to do. She would never tell anyone but Bucky Barnes scared her. 
Bucky gave Morgan a smile before pressing another kiss on your temple. “Love you…” he whispered before walking off. 
.-.-.
When movie night rolled around, Bucky grabbed his sweater and threw it on before heading into the main room where everyone sat together for the movie. Bucky then realized that everyone had their ‘spot’ ; this was the first time that Bucky had decided to join the movie night; he normally just used this time to have the training room all to himself. Heck, even Fury was there. 
Bucky then realized there was only one empty spot, the one right next to you. He smiled and went to sit when Morgan ran up and jumped into the empty spot. Bucky frowned. So there wasn't an empty spot for him after all.
“Bucky, come on, sit!” He looked over and saw that there was another empty spot, next to Sharon. 
“Actually, Bucky is going to sit with his girlfriend,” Nat said, getting up from her spot on Morgan's other side and going over to the empty space next to sharon. 
Sharon scowled as nat sat down next to her. “Really?” 
“What? y/n is Bucky's girlfriend.” nat said, settling down and getting comfortable. Sharon left and didn't return. Bruce pointed to Sharon's empty spot and whispered something to Steve and Sam before walking over and sitting next to Nat. 
You scooted over so he could sit. Bucky sat and slipped an arm around you while Morgan curled up with a blanket. You were surprised by Bucky's sudden hunger for touch but you weren't complaining you wanted this. You nuzzled closer and Bucky pulled you into his lap before motioning for Morgan to get in your lap. 
Tony and Pepper walked in and raised a brow. “Morgan, why don't you sit with Peter tonight?” Tony offered. 
Morgan looked up at you and you nodded. “Go on…”
“Wait, I got an idea.” Peter walked over and sat in the now empty spot on the couch and Morgan sat on his lap. “Mj isn't here tonight…”
Morgan smiled, she was a very happy five year old girl. 
Tony shook his head and sat down, opening his arms so Pepper could snuggle into his embrace. 
Once the movie started, Bucky began to feel a warm feeling in his chest as you nuzzled closer to him. “I love you, bucky…” you whispered in his ear. Bucky smiled and put his other arm around you, this was exactly what he needed, your embrace and love to fill his tired and slightly shattered heart.  
By the time the movie was half way through, Bucky had fallen asleep within his head on top of yours, making you smile. Who were you to wake him? When the movie ended, you did end up waking a very groggy bucky and pulling him to his room. You covered him with his blanket and turned to leave when Bucky grabbed your hand and held open the blanket, beckoning you to sleep in his arms.
A smile spread across your face and you slipped into the bed. “Bucky?”
“Hmmm?” he hummed, already half asleep. 
“I like this new cuddly version of you…”
Bucky smiled. “Me too…” he mumbled, placing a soft kiss on your cheek before drifting off as he held you close.
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junkissed · 7 months ago
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amateur hour
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member — camboy!jun x f reader genre — smut, f2l, idiots to lovers, fluffy ending word count — 8.6k synopsis — the most awkward encounter of your life might just end up being the best thing you and your best friend have ever done together. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, masturbation (jun), voyeurism & exhibitionism (watching porn together), jun is a big time simp but in a soft way, please lmk if i missed any! notes — huge thanks to @onlymingyus and @highvern for reading this for me to make sure i wasn't insane, and thanks to @cheolism and @duhnova for help with the title <3 this is my longest fic in a while and it took so much energy to finish but i hope yall enjoy! please reblog or send an ask and lmk if you enjoyed this! :)
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"hello? anybody home?"
jun squeezes his eyes shut, throwing his head back with a stifled moan as he cums all over his hand. his grip on his cock tightens, milking every last drop out across his abs as he fights to keep himself quiet.
fuck, he forgot. forgot he'd told you to come over tonight. forgot he'd promised a movie night to cheer you up after your latest dating disaster. he feels like the worst friend on the planet right now, for so many reasons.
the main reason? the fact that he's just finished cumming at the thought of you… and also the fact that he's been streaming the whole thing to thousands of people.
out of breath, he presses a couple keys before slamming his laptop shut. no goodbye to his viewers, no thanking the people who donated. but they're used to his unconventional streams, often barely acknowledging their existence or even not talking at all. not because he cares deeply about staying anonymous, but because he's just so… average.
maybe that's why he's so popular: he's just a regular guy jerking off. people like that amateur stuff. no elaborate productions, no fancy camera work, just a guy with a laptop and a really pretty cock (or so he's been told). he could be anyone: your classmate, your neighbor, the cute guy from the library. he might even be your best friend.
"in here— changing!" he calls through his closed door, rushing as fast as he can to clean himself up and put clothes on. he's mentally praising himself for remembering to make his bed this morning, and after wiping a suspicious looking stain off his desk and fixing his chair, his room looks halfway decent.
he tosses open his bedroom door to greet you, throwing a smile onto his face. he doesn't want you to feel like you're intruding—he loves it when you come over, he wouldn't have given you his house key if he didn't want you to—even though at this exact moment, you very much are intruding. even though he invited you over in the first place. fuck, he's such an idiot.
when jun hadn't answered any of your texts before you let yourself in his apartment, you'd figured he'd forgotten about tonight. you'd hoped tonight would be an exception, but it's not out of the ordinary for him to be forgetful. any other day you wouldn't have minded, even teased him about it, but not tonight. especially since he invited you over in the first place.
but all of your worries are suddenly pushed to the backseat when he comes out of his room looking… well, hot.
like, literally hot. he's sweating, his hair disheveled and his pupils huge as he pushes his shirt sleeves up his arms.
it takes a second for you to take it all in— obviously he'd forgotten about his promise and had started a workout instead. you can't say you haven't noticed lately how often he's started working out, his biceps bulking up and his chest peeking out through his shirts. you'd wondered when he's been finding the time to go to the gym, his excuse for years being that he's too busy or too lazy to leave the house, but it seems like he's been working out at home too now.
you stand awkwardly in the space between his living room and the door, watching the beads of sweat forming at his hairline. “if now's a bad time, i can— leave…”
"no!" he rushes to say, and you pause at his sudden outburst. "no. just... let me take a shower real quick. i'm so sorry, i lost track of time." he runs his hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down while you try not to stare.
"sure," you say after a long moment. his eyes pause to travel over your face with an expression you can't read, but maybe you just imagined that because seconds later he's back to his cheery, usual self telling you to make yourself cozy on his bed and start looking for a movie while he's in the shower.
standing under the cold water, he promises to himself that he's going to get everything right tonight, despite the rocky start. he's gonna bring out the snacks and put on the movie and make you happy again. because that's what he always does, and he may not be the most perfect person in the world but he tries to be for you.
he's been there for every new boyfriend you tell him about that he already knows won't end well, and he's been there when it inevitably doesn't end well. he's been there without a single complaint for every drunk saturday night and every hungover sunday morning. and he's not going to complain this time either, no matter his feelings for you and how badly he wishes you would just date him instead. maybe he's a little biased, but he thinks he'd make a great boyfriend.
you sit at the edge of his bed wringing your hands until you hear the shower start to run, finally letting out a deep exhale and starting to relax with a moment to yourself. 
he’ll take his shower, and it’ll be like a reset button for the evening; he’ll come out nice and clean like nothing ever happened, and you’ll snuggle up and watch a funny movie and maybe get a little drunk and forget all your troubles for the weekend. a clean slate, as if you hadn’t had to use every ounce of self control you’ve got in order to avoid ogling him and the way his sweat drenched shirt clung to his torso. 
you’ll have such a fantastic time with the movie, you won’t even have time to stop and think about the fact that he probably works out shirtless. no, you definitely aren’t thinking about how you’ve never seen any gym equipment around his house so he must be doing like a crazy amount of pushups or something to get that ripped without any kind of exercise machine. the fact that these are not the kind of thoughts you should be thinking about your best friend is entirely irrelevant.
content with your plan to avoid thinking for the rest of the evening, you stand up from his bed and move to stand at his desk, opening his laptop to find something to watch.
and oh, you find something to watch, alright.
staring back at you on his screen is a porn site, paused on a video of a man laid naked across a worn out looking chair, legs spread wide with his cock tightly in his fist.
oddly enough, your first thought is that the scene looks… hot. the top of the video cuts off at the neck, hiding his face from the camera but leaving his prominent adam's apple exposed. it’s very obviously amateur, but even from just the single frame shown, you get the sense that there’s a certain charm to it. and quite honestly, it’s working for you.
apparently, it works for a lot of other people, too. the video has hundreds of thousands of views, and below it are suggested videos from the same man that boast similar numbers.
jun never struck you as the type of guy to watch solo male videos, but you aren't here to judge his preferences. hell, you've seen way worse yourself. there must be something he likes about it, though, and you’re half tempted to press play on the video to find out if the rest of it is as good as the preview seems to be.
you're about to close the tab and never speak of it again, but something else catches your eye and you pause, finger hovering over the mousepad. something about the guy in the video feels… familiar, somehow.
looking closer you see there's a little mole on his tummy, right by his hip, that reminds you of the one jun has. you've seen him without his shirt on enough times to recognize it—not like you've been staring or anything. just something you've noticed. 
but then your stomach flips, and you realize what's actually familiar about the guy in the video. tied around his wrist is a thin red string, a friendship bracelet you made when you first met him and accidentally tied it too tight so he couldn't take it off that he's worn ever since.
there's no way that's a coincidence.
and then everything else starts to fall into place: the posters in the background of the video. the old desk chair you’ve sat in so many times that you’ll never be able to see the same way again. too many pieces fitting easily together like a puzzle.
but by the time you've had long enough to process all this information, the shower has stopped and out walks jun wearing nothing but a loose pair of sweatpants. your eyes drag away from the sight of his wet, naked chest and instantly fix on the bracelet tied around his wrist, unable to stop staring at it.
you distantly hear him call your name, and your gaze snaps back up at him with wide, guilty eyes, caught like a deer in headlights.
he opens a drawer and starts tugging a t-shirt on over his head, turning around to look at you. “did you find something to watc— oh.”
you follow his gaze towards his open laptop, the video sitting proudly on display in the tab you forgot to close.
you both stare at the paused video for a very long moment, the silence stretching on before all the words that were stuck in your throat suddenly come tumbling out all at once.
“i wasn’t— it was just open… i didn’t—”
he stands there in silence, and you stand there in silence, and the evidence sits on the desk between you like a wall that makes you feel intensely exposed, even though he’s the one who’s sitting naked on the open screen.
your first instinct (after panic, of course) is to slink home and hide yourself in your room and try to erase the image of your best friend’s dick from your memory. you’ve never thought they looked very attractive before, but his is weirdly beautiful to look at, and you’re not willing to explore that train of thought. also, way bigger than you were expecting, but it’s not like you thought about it often enough to guess how big he is or anything. 
“maybe i should go home and we should just forget about tonight,” you rush to add when he still doesn’t say anything after a lengthy pause. 
jun’s face falls, and you immediately feel a pang of guilt for trying to run. “you don't have to go,” he says quickly. “it’s not— um, nothing weird about it, right? i’m sorry, i should have closed it, or…” he pauses, stumbling over his words almost as badly as you are. “i don’t wanna make you uncomfortable. i promise my sheets—and everything in my room—is clean.” he tries an awkward smile, and it makes you feel really bad about making him feel bad.
“it's not weird at all. it's totally normal. i was just… surprised,” you try to smile back, but it doesn't work as well on you as it does on him. “just a shock, i guess. trying to process it. but it's fine. i promise.”
“i won't make it weird,” he says. “you don't have to watch it or anything.” he kind of wants you to.
“i wasn't thinking about it.” you definitely were.
there's another uncomfortably long silence. “so anyway, did you pick out a movie?” he asks at the same time you ask him a question, both trying to keep the conversation going, but you realize you should've kept your mouth shut and let him take the lead because he is way more capable of being normal about this than you are.
“what do you think about when you do it?” you blurt out, and you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth because you've realized just how invasive of a question that is and you're kind of hoping he didn't hear you, but he definitely did because he's sitting at the edge of his bed with a shocked look on his face, because out of all the things he was expecting you to say it definitely wasn't that.
“don't answer that. i don't know why i said that,” you follow up immediately, trying to mitigate the damage but it's too late.
his eyebrows are scrunched up in thought. “no, i don't care. i—um… i just don't know how to answer that without making it weird.”
“you don't have to,” you say quickly.
he turns to you, but you pointedly look away. “do you actually want to know?” 
you look down at your hands, doing everything to avoid his eyes. “kinda.” yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
he laughs a little, and miraculously somehow it manages to lighten the tension, hearing that familiar sound. “you seem, like, really uncomfortable. we can just… pretend it never happened.”
“it's gonna be hard to do that. it's not every day you find out your best friend is a porn star,” you say finally. you force yourself to lift your head, at least in his general direction since you can't meet his eyes. you settle on looking at his mouth instead, but that was definitely a mistake because now you're staring at his lips and noticing for the first time how pretty they are and how soft they look and now you're wondering what it would feel like to kiss those lips and to—
“it's not really like being a porn star… well, kind of, it is. but like, not really, because—” he cuts himself off when he notices you staring. “sorry, i'll drop it. we don’t have to get into it.”
“no, i'm curious now,” you say. somehow you find the will to lift your head, finally meeting his eyes. “tell me how you do it.”
he stares blankly. “like how i jerk off, or… oh, you meant how the videos work,” he laughs as it clicks into place in his mind. obviously you wouldn't mean it like that—as much as he wishes you did.
you didn’t realize it until now but the uncomfortable, awkward tension at the initial shock of finding out that your best friend has a mildly successful porn career, has slowly been melting away into a different kind of tension. maybe it’s the adrenaline, the fight or flight instinct, or something else entirely, but it’s succeeded in making you bolder than you should be. everything in you should be telling you no, drop it, don’t invade his privacy, but all you can think is yes, please, tell me everything.
“is that what you were doing earlier? when i got here?”
he tilts his head imperceptibly at your question, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he tries to gauge your reactions. there’s something in the air and it’s beginning to affect him too. “i feel like you’ve already guessed the answer to that.”
you can’t help the smirk that tugs at the corner of your lips at his words, gaining confidence with each passing second. “i told you, i’m curious.”
“fine.” he cocks an eyebrow at you. “yeah, i was. what else do you wanna know?”
“you never answered my question earlier.”
“what do i think about?” he repeats, tactfully ignoring the blush creeping up his neck into his cheeks. “trade secret. i can’t tell you.”
clearly you aren’t satisfied with his answer, so he sighs and looks over at you. strands of wet hair from his shower rest across his forehead, and you can’t help but be reminded of how he looked when you’d first walked in, sweaty bangs sticking to his face in a similar fashion. 
“it’s not any different than when i do it off camera. same thoughts.” his eyes trail down your body briefly before snapping back up to your face. “most of the time i don’t even remember i’m being filmed. just feels like a normal afternoon to me.”
when he meets your eyes again they almost seem to sparkle with a mischievousness he hasn’t seen from you in a long, long time. “so this is a normal afternoon for you, then? letting people watch you jerk off?” the words are more vulgar than he’s ever heard from you, but they taste good and satisfying on your tongue.
if even a quarter of jun’s brain was functioning normally right now, he might have the good sense to refuse to answer your questions. his side job was never supposed to be found out by friends or family, not because he’s embarrassed about what he does, but because he likes having that space to experiment with himself. it’s true he can try out fetishes and kinks he would’ve never known about before, yes, but more important to him is the fact that he can do whatever he wants, be whoever he wants to be, act however he wants to act.
yet he instantly buckles the second you smile and bat your pretty eyelashes at him without so much as a second thought. for as long as he’s known you he’s always had the urge to tell you everything, to talk for hours and hours about anything on his mind. he’s never felt like he needs to hide anything from you; even with this, his darkest secret, he’s an open book. willing and far too eager to answer anything you ask him.
a small, distant part of him has sort of always wanted you to find out about his alter ego, to question him exactly as you’re doing now. the thought of his secret becoming your secret, too. 
“i guess so, yeah.” he grins and glances over at his laptop still sitting open, the image of himself paused on the screen.
you follow his eyes, looking back and forth between him and the video and trying not to find the similarities between the two. “you ever do anything… together? or just solo?”
only after you’ve said it do you realize how that question sounded coming out, and yet again you wish you could take back your words. it wasn’t meant to be an offer—though deep down you really wouldn’t mind that at all—but despite the numerous boundaries you’ve already overstepped tonight, you don’t think that’s a line you’re willing to cross just yet. 
being aware of your best friend’s homemade porn and even watching it is one thing, but actually fucking him is completely different. and no matter how bad your feelings are for him, it still feels off limits. unless he suddenly decides to grab you by the neck and tell you he wants you to ride him until your legs give out (which you’d gladly do, for the record), you’re just going to have to keep those desires to yourself. 
the implications of your question hang unanswered in the air, and you stumble to explain yourself before he has the chance to outright reject you. “that's not what i mean—not like that. i wasn’t… nevermind.” you cut yourself off, hoping you haven’t managed to dig yourself a deeper hole.
the corner of his mouth upturns in a smile that you find infuriatingly hot. “you weren’t what? and no, i haven’t. never had anybody i liked enough to try it with.” he gets shy again, glancing away from you and staring at his desk chair absently. “i haven’t told anyone about it, so it’s not like i have many options even if i wanted to.”
your cheeks flush in embarrassment, and that guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach from seeing something you shouldn’t have returns. you’re the only person who knows? and you only saw it on accident, so clearly he didn’t mean for anyone to ever find out. fuck, all of this was a mistake and maybe you really should pretend like nothing ever happened.
“i’m sure the people who watch you would be lining up at your door to fuck you if you asked.”
“not interested.” he doesn’t meet your eyes, his gaze lingering on your body again for a moment too long, and for some reason that sparks something within you.
you clear your throat and it grabs his attention, looking up at you in curiosity. “well, anyway. i’ve thought of something for us to watch.”
he perks up a little, and you almost feel bad for what you’re about to do because he seems so excited at the prospect of watching an actual movie. but you’ve endured more than enough of your fair share of his teasing over the years, and part of you is still curious to finally see him in action, so you grab his laptop and sit yourself down on his bed.
he walks closer to you to see what you’ve picked out for the evening, only to find you’ve put his own video on fullscreen, nonchalantly propping his computer up on your lap to watch as if his dick isn’t sitting in front of your very eyes in 4k high definition.
his cheeks turn even redder than they already were as he freezes in place, his eyes fixed on the image of his own cock in hand and toned body on display, waiting for you to press play.
“you coming?” you pat the bed next to you expectantly, smiling such an innocent little smile as if you’re unaware of what you’re doing, though both of you already know exactly what’s going to happen. and it’s driving him up the fucking wall. 
he’s so flustered that he doesn’t even laugh at your pun, still standing at the foot of his bed and trying to summon every last shred of his dignity to stop himself from getting hard for the second time tonight. just the thought of you wanting to watch him, showing interest in the videos of him pleasuring himself has all the blood in his body rushing towards his cock, and he doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be able to keep pretending he’s fine with this.
“i’ve never watched them after filming them. i was there the first time… never felt like i needed to revisit it.” he doesn’t mention the real reason he doesn’t watch them is because he’s afraid to see what he looks like when he’s thinking about you— afraid to see how his body reacts in ways that it definitely shouldn’t be without your knowledge.
you bite your lip absentmindedly, looking up at him with an inviting expression. “first time for everything, right?” despite the confidence you’ve gained your voice still ends up coming out soft and shy, as if you’re afraid to admit how badly you want to see how this plays out.
jun’s face flushes as he tries to ignore the way his pants continue to grow tighter. “you wanna watch me? i mean— the video? together?” he’s honored… no, he’s more than honored. thousands of people watch his videos daily, yet the only one he cares about is sitting on his bed and smiling that pretty smile of yours at him.
he rests his palms on the edge of his bed frame, and you can’t help the way your eyes rake over his body in reaction. he’s tall and always has been, towering over you as long as you’ve known him, but he never seems to be aware of just how big he is. or maybe he is and just knows how to use it to his advantage. either way, you can’t hide the shiver running down your spine as he leans over the bed towards you.
he can feel his body tingling with anticipation as he takes a seat down anxiously beside you, your fingers hovering over the mousepad before you finally unpause the video. no going back now.
at first you think the sound isn’t working as you watch him adjust his position on the chair in silence, but when you hear the seat squeak you realize he’s just quiet. your palms are clammy as you keep your hands planted at your sides, waiting for the action to start. just the image of him naked is enough to send you into a spiral, but you force yourself to be patient, knowing there’s better things to come.
you try not to stare at him next to you, but it’s impossible with the way he keeps nonchalantly adjusting his sweats every few seconds. you can tell he’s trying not to let on how hard he is, but unfortunately for him you're way too hyper aware of yourself in this moment and nothing goes unnoticed.
your gaze stays glued to the screen as you watch the recording of jun leaning back in his chair, tentatively taking his cock into his hand with a soft sigh. you don’t notice that you’ve been holding your breath until he starts moving his hand up and down along his length, letting out a shaky sigh that matches the ones from his recording. your cheeks are burning but you can’t bring yourself to stop staring as he brushes his thumb across his leaking tip, smearing his precum around with his fingers.
the muscles in his thighs tense and he lets out a little whine, and it sends a shiver throughout your whole body. you can’t see his face on the video, but you’ve seen his expressions enough to get the picture, and it drives you wild. you need to see it close up, need to see those faces he makes and confirm the way you’ve imagined it.
but even with his beautiful, painfully hard cock right in front of you, you still can’t take your eyes off of the friendship bracelet tied around his wrist, watching as it brushes against his cock with every stroke of his fist. you wonder how long he’s been doing this, how long and you’d never realized. he’d never seemed like the type, but then again, you were learning a lot of things about your friend tonight.
you manage to pry your eyes away from the video but your gaze just ends up back on instead, sitting beside you with the same thin bracelet adorning his slender wrist. you squeeze your thighs together as you stare at it, willing yourself not to think about it, but when another broken and muffled moan comes out of the laptop speaker you can’t take it anymore.
you suddenly stop the video, pushing his computer off your lap and closing the screen. he jumps and looks at you, eyes wide with concern. you'd hated it, didn't you? you thought he was a loser and this was all such a bad idea and he should've pretended it never happened in the first place because now your friendship is ruined and—
"show me."
jun swears he stops breathing for a second. he must not have heard you clearly, but when he pulls his gaze up to meet yours he finds you staring back expectantly, a hint of a smile on your face and a look in your eyes that makes him want to pounce on you and never look back.
"what?" his voice comes out cracked. god, if you're saying what he thinks you are… he's never been this hard in his entire life, including all the times he's edged himself to the thought of you. there's no way in hell he isn't hallucinating right now, because the expression on your face is straight out of his dreams.
your wandering eyes flit down to his bulge. "i thought you said you did live shows."
your heart is pounding, fearing you've finally crossed that last forbidden line for good. who knows when you got so bold, but you couldn't handle watching another second of that video without doing something about it. despite his shyness you know he's enjoying this, with the way he keeps tugging at the hem of his shirt and struggling to hide his painfully obvious boner. it's not like you're doing any better yourself, and you wonder if he can feel the heat radiating off your body right now or if he's noticed the way you can't stop squirming.
you hadn't expected that hearing his breathy whimpers through the laptop's tinny speakers and watching his abs flex on the screen as he squeezes his hand around his cock would have such an effect on you, but it's hard not to when the star of the movie is sitting right beside you. you're afraid to even move, at risk of revealing the wet spot beneath you seeping into his sheets that he was so adamant earlier about being clean. well, you know one thing for sure— they won't be clean after tonight.
so, you clear your throat and choose your next words carefully this time, knowing exactly what you're asking for and hoping, praying it'll be reciprocated. "why would i wanna watch a video when i can see it in person?"
"fuck—" his voice is strained, and your stomach flips at the sudden low tone coming from his throat that you aren't used to hearing. "you want—”
"i wanna see you," you cut him off, jumping on the chance that he didn't immediately shut you down. you look pointedly at the bulge in his pants, making sure he sees you looking. "do you ever do private shows?" you feel the heat in your cheeks burning with shyness, but you press on, your voice soft. "you know… one on one?”
“no— yeah,” he says hurriedly. “i mean, i can now. for you. if you want.” he adds the last part like an afterthought, because even though you just straight out asked to watch him jerk off, he still can’t comprehend that you’re into this. that you, his best friend of all people, is this eager to see him.
your reply comes out choked with desperation, but he’s so lost in your reactions that you doubt he even notices the change in your tone. “please?”
with dazed eyes he nods, moving his hands down to the waistband of his pants, and it feels like time moves in slow motion as you strain your eyes for a glimpse.
your breath catches in your throat as you watch him push his sweatpants down just below his hips, freeing his cock. the thick veins on his hands that you're used to ogling in your free time are nothing compared to the veins that cover his length, and they’re nothing compared to the grainy video from his computer, either.  you're so tempted to touch him, you have to physically restrain yourself from reaching over and wrapping your hand around him, to feel its weight in your palm and feel how hard he is.
he soaks up your reaction, his pride soaring at the way your mouth is practically watering for him. he makes sure you're watching, then pushes his sweatpants all the way off and leans back against the headboard of the bed, spreading his legs to get a more comfortable position before he starts.
“you gonna answer my question now?” you ask, your voice soft yet still teasing as he begins to drag his hand up and down his shaft slowly, pumping himself to full hardness as if he hadn't already been fully hard for the last hour.
the look in his eyes when he glances back up at you makes your heart jump, and suddenly the answer seems as clear as day. but you’re afraid to believe in it in case you’re still wrong about everything; even now as you kneel beside him on his bed, his eyes boring into yours as you watch him fist his cock, you can’t let yourself have hope that he feels the same about you. there’s been nothing to suggest that he does, besides the fact that he didn’t immediately throw you out of his house the second you found out about his alternative career.
he doesn’t answer for a long moment, and you feel your entire body growing hot under his gaze. for the second time tonight you feel stripped bare, despite the fact that you’re fully clothed and he’s the one half naked in front of you.
“are you sure you wanna hear the answer?” he says finally, and despite the way his voice comes out choked you can tell he’s just as nervous about this as you are. years of friendship changed by just one sentence, but whether it’ll be for better or for worse, you haven’t figured out yet.
you’re not sure if you really do, but you nod anyway, searching his eyes for any signs of hesitation. he groans softly, bucking his hips up a little into his fist as he opens his mouth to speak. you scoot closer to hear him, drawn to him like a magnet and your heart pounding as you wait for the words you so badly want to hear.
“right now?” he pauses. “i’m thinking about how bad i wanna kiss you.”
and after that it’s like a dam breaking apart, losing every bit of self control you’d worked so hard to maintain for so long as you press forward and meet his lips. his hands jump to your hips, instantly forgetting what he was doing as he gently tugs you onto his lap to get a better angle. 
you slide your legs beneath you, straddling his lap with your knees on either side of his waist as your mouth slides against his. kissing him comes as naturally to you as breathing, almost immediately finding a rhythm with his nose pressed against your cheek.
he starts out slow, tentative, but as soon as you kiss him back he’s throwing his own self control to the wind and pulling you deeper into him. you can feel his aching cock pressing into your stomach, and it takes everything in you not to grind down on him and ease the throbbing between your legs.
you finally force yourself to pull away, taking in the sight of him. his cheeks are flushed and he’s panting, eyes darting back and forth between yours in questioning at your sudden pause. “is— is that all you think about?” you ask, but it comes out more like a whimper. if it were anyone else you’d be mortified at how worked up you’ve gotten in such a short time, but if anything jun looks worse than you do right now.
“i think about you every fucking time,” he admits breathlessly. as always, giving up his so-called trade secrets the second you ask, because he can’t hide anything. doesn’t want to hide anything from you. “can’t stop thinking about you, even when i try not to—”
“during your streams?”
“—especially during my streams.”
you push your hips down gently, feeling your soaked panties sticking uncomfortably to your folds at the movement, but it’s all worth it for the angelic moans that fall from his lips in return. “and earlier…?” you pry. you don’t know why you’re so full of questions tonight, but a part of you relishes in his praise and the way he so readily admits his thoughts to you.
he stifles another groan, his hands trailing haphazardly over your body like a kid in a candy store, as if he isn’t sure what to touch first but he does know that he wants to touch all of you. “earlier— got so hard thinking about you coming over, i couldn’t help it…” he squeezes his eyes shut as you reach up to rest your arms around his shoulders. “so fucking lucky that you’re my friend, i don’t deserve you.”
you brush your thumb against his cheek and his eyes shoot open, his hips stuttering beneath you in surprise. “why?” you ask softly. if anyone is undeserving of your friendship, it should be you, not him; the way he treats you like a queen, practically worshipping the ground you walk on and being the best friend you’ve ever had.
“‘cause—” he swallows hard and looks up at you, his fingers shaking a little as they wander across your hips. “fuck, the way i think about you… you’d never say yes to that.”
you smile softly, leaning closer to him until your mouths are just inches apart and you can feel his hot breath on your lips. “you never asked me.” you glance up at him expectantly, nodding your head to give him a chance to say what’s on his mind.
“can i—” he curses under his breath, his mind going haywire at even just the thought of you letting him have more of you. “can i kiss you again?”
and it’s such a genuine request that you have no choice but to indulge him, your lips parting to let him in. it’s a kiss that you feel in your entire body, from the hands that have moved to your back gently guiding you towards him, to the butterflies in your chest and much lower places. you want—no, you need all of him, all at once, need his hands and his cock and his sweet, sweet kisses.
you lean back and press your mouth against his neck instead, feeling his soft skin beneath your lips as you start to suck. he groans in response when you nip at the underside of his chin, beginning to suck harder until you bite down gently and lift your eyes to see his reaction.
suddenly he wraps his hand behind your neck and pulls your head up to meet him face to face, crashing his lips back against yours in a frantic battle of tongue and teeth, filled with a newfound desperation. his eyes are closed and brows furrowed as he kisses you, one hand on the back of your head guiding you into him.
you frantically paw at his shirt, struggling to keep yourself contained. "jun, please— let me see you."
he leans forward away from you and tears his shirt off over his head without so much as a word in reply, quickly settling back and meeting your lips once again. his mind is racing a mile a minute, so eager to give you whatever you want, whatever you ask for, whatever you need.
he's so caught up in pleasing you that the thought of asking you to take off your shirt in return doesn't even cross his mind; you could sit fully clothed on his lap for the rest of the night and he'd still be over the moon. but you do it anyway, just as eager to please him as he is for you. you pull your shirt off as fast as you can, whining in frustration when you tug too roughly and it gets caught in your hair for a half second. but you feel his hand slide up your back and help you, untangling it and balling the fabric in his fist, tossing it across the room before pulling you back to him.
you fall forward and catch yourself on the wall behind his head, forcing you to readjust your seat on his lap and cupping his cheeks with your hands to stabilize yourself. jun shifts his position as well, threading one arm around your waist and pulling you tighter against him. his palm on your skin makes you feel like you're on fire, his hand pressing gently but firmly against the bare skin of your hip.
you can feel his length resting between your bodies, still hard as ever and throbbing from so much stimulation yet so little of it being directed at where he wants it most. you start to rock your hips, slowly grinding against him and feeling your cunt pulse through the thin fabric of your panties, and you wonder if he can feel it, too.
if he does then he doesn’t mention it, too caught up in roaming his hands over your chest now that your shirt is out of the way. you feel shy, not used to so much attention from one person and especially not used to it coming from him. a part of you wishes you’d at least worn a prettier bra, but he doesn’t even seem to notice that it’s the old ratty one you wear around the house. in his eyes it might as well be made of solid gold, with the way he touches it so delicately and looks up at you in a frenzy, begging you to let him take it off.
his palms cup your breasts the second the fabric is on the floor, moaning unabashedly as he pushes his face into your chest. his tongue laves over your skin with his eyes closed in bliss, and he groans into your breast before he finally tears his mouth away from you, giving you both a second to breathe.
"please let me fuck you," he rasps, his arm still wrapped around your waist as he holds your body close to his. "fuck, please— god, i need you so bad. i'll take such good care of you, baby, please, just let me. i'll do whatever you want me to, please—"
you shiver at the desperation in his voice, and if he wasn't still cradling the back of your head in his palm you probably would've fallen backwards with a moan. even from the few minutes of his video that you'd managed to watch he didn't seem like much of a talker, so the way he rambles on and on begging for you feels like a breath of fresh air.
you waste no time in telling him yes, practically falling off his bed in your rush to stand up and strip the rest of your clothes off. he wraps his hand around his cock once more and begins to thrust shallowly into his fist as he watches you shimmy out of your pants, and you whimper at the sight that’s become so familiar over the past hour.
both finally naked, you start to reposition yourself on his lap, but in a split second he flips you over onto your back instead. you let out a yelp as he cages you in with his long limbs, his cock resting against your body as he hovers over you. 
“please,” he pants, his expression pleading with you just as much as his words are. you don’t even know what he’s pleading for at this point but you nod quickly anyway, moaning out his name until he silences you with another hot kiss.
he sits back on his heels, kneeling between your legs as you spread them open wider for him. he forces himself to look away from your dripping pussy long enough to position himself at your entrance. there’s so much more he wants to do, so much he wants to try with you, but after dreaming about you for so long and now you’re finally here, he’s not sure he’ll last long enough to find out. another day, he tells himself as he lines up his cock. another time, if you’ll let him.
he looks up at you, waiting for you to give him a signal or to back out if you’ve changed your mind, but you meet his eyes and bite at your lip and give him the tiniest nod.
his hands are shaking as he guides himself into you, pushing just the tip inside and looking back up at you for confirmation before continuing.
by the time he’s halfway inside of you he has to squeeze his eyes shut as hard as he can, every muscle in his body concentrating on trying not to explode at the feeling of your walls fluttering around him. a million thoughts are running through his head and he can barely see straight at this point, his tunnel vision focused on you and only you. if he remembers only one thing from tonight, he wants it to be this sight right here: the image of your face scrunched up in pleasure, your mouth hanging open in a breathless moan as you clench wildly around his cock. 
your hand grips his bicep impossibly tight as you adjust to his size, your fingers gradually relaxing as he continues to push into you until he bottoms out with a high pitched whine.
it takes a second for you to adjust, but as soon as you start begging him to move his body starts running on autopilot, his hips pistoning into you with more force than he knew he had in him. he’s stopped talking by now, almost completely silent except for the occasional groan and muttered curse.
you lift your legs to wrap them around his waist, pressing into his back with your heels to get him to thrust deeper until you fall apart in his arms with a cry, burying your face in his chest as your vision goes blank and the wind gets knocked out of your lungs.
he leans down over you, putting his hand between your head and the wall to stop you from being slammed into it from his thrusts as you crest into your orgasm. all you can do is hold on tightly to him, biting at his collarbone to stifle your noises as his eyes dart across your face, desperate to see how beautiful you look when you cum for him. for him, for only him, for your best friend who’s so in love with you it physically hurts.
what finally breaks him is the gentle way you reach up and hold his head with one hand, guiding him down to your lips to kiss you once more. your fingers tremble with aftershocks as you thread them into his hair, using his body to ground yourself as he fucks you into the mattress. 
his hips stutter and he barely pulls out in time to cum all over your pussy, his cock twitching as he releases onto your skin with a broken moan. there’s nothing he wants more in this world than to cum inside you, but in his desperation he didn’t think to ask ahead of time, and even his last functioning brain cell isn’t going to let that happen without your permission.
your fingers untangle themselves from his hair, sliding to his neck and down to his chest as he heaves shallow breaths. he blinks rapidly, trying to reorient himself and calm his racing heart.
“jun?”
he barely hears you calling his name, but his head tilts down to look at you before he can process it. you’re just as much of a mess as he is, sweaty hair sticking to your forehead and his cum coating your lower half, your chest rising and falling as you struggle to catch your breath.
and just like that, the fog in his mind is cleared and he’s jumping into action. he’s gonna do what he always does, what he has to do: be there for you and do everything right, even when he has no idea what’s “right” anymore because he just fucked his best friend and the love of his life and that’s not usually what best friends do, so what does that make him now? he doesn’t know and he doesn’t care, but what he does care about is making sure you’re as comfortable as possible in this, probably the weirdest and most uncomfortable situation ever.
your fingers latch onto his wrist before he can get away, and he whips around with such a dumbfounded expression that you can’t help but laugh a little. “jun,” you repeat his name again, and this time it gets through to him and he pauses, eyes wide as he looks down at you.
“huh?”
“where are you going?”
“to…” he trails off, because he doesn’t actually know where he’s going, but his brain knows he has to do something. “uh, clean?”
you laugh. “god, i love you so much. just— c’mere.”
you tug on his wrist and he topples down onto you with a yelp, but you wrap your arms around him until he stops wiggling and just sits still against you.
your bodies are covered in sweat, sticking to each other as you hold him, but it’s the most comfortable you’ve felt in what must be years. “what are you so nervous for?” you ask him with a soft chuckle, pushing his hair out of his forehead.
“because…” he pauses again and looks up at you, worry clouding his gaze. “because you’re so perfect. and i don’t wanna mess this up.”
“you’re not going to, jun. promise.” you exhale and stroke his hair again. “if anything, i’m the one that messed things up. i shouldn’t have found out about your… you know.”
“can i say that i’m glad you did, or is that weird?” he asks with a breathy giggle.
your cheeks flush with heat, but you can’t disagree. “i’m glad too,” you admit, and the dopey grin on his face makes up for all the awkwardness ten times over.
you exhale slowly, finally feeling your body return to normal. you dread standing up—you’re not even sure if you’d be able to, after that—but for now it feels good to just lay here with jun’s head on your chest.
“so what about your channel?”
“i’ll delete it,” he rushes to say. “whatever you want me to do. i don’t care— i don’t want it anymore. all i want is you.”
you tuck a lock of hair behind his ear with a smile, feeling your cheeks glow from his praise. “well, i don’t want you to do that. all your loyal viewers will miss out on seeing you doing more than just jerking off alone.”
he raises an eyebrow at you, trying to understand if you mean what he thinks you mean. “like…?”
“like letting them watch you fuck your girlfriend?” you finish for him tentatively. even after everything tonight you still have doubts that you’ve misread his intentions, that maybe this is just a one-time thing to him and you don’t mean as much to him as he means to you.
he studies your face carefully. “is that what you are?” he asks hesitantly.
you nod slightly, the shyness from earlier suddenly rushing back in at the possibility of being rejected. “unless you didn’t want me to be.”
he shakes his head so fast it nearly gives you whiplash. “no— please. i do. so bad.”
you break out into a smile, cupping his face in your cheeks and leaning in to kiss his forehead. he hums, and the vibrations are warm against your chest . “you could’ve just asked me. like, years ago. would have avoided all the awkwardness of…”
“of you finding out i’m a porn star?”
you giggle, and he thinks it’s the most adorable sight he’s ever seen. lying naked in your arms together, making you laugh. “i thought you said you weren’t.”
he grins. “not really. but it makes me sound cooler when you say it.”
“i think you’re cool anyway, jun.”
he shifts and leans forward to capture your lips in his again, his mouth slow and tender as he kisses you this time. “i never wanna stop kissing you.”
you rub your thumbs across his cheeks, watching his fond expression that you know must be mirrored with your own. “then don’t.”
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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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silverwhittlingknife · 6 months ago
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How would you describe Tim's people skills? Especially when you compare them to Dick's?
Hi anon, this was a fun ask!! I picked out a few panels for each of them (comforting friends, a bit out of sync with friends, fighting with friends, and offering practical support to friends) just to get a quick look at their people skills in action, and then I rambled on about my thoughts on their strengths and their weaknesses.
(Caveat: I'm going to try to focus on my ideas about differences between the two of them, since we're comparing, but I do think they're socially more similar than not, so you might also want to check out @bitimdrake's post on Dick and Tim's similarities for the big picture!)
Short version: I think they've both got good people skills. Dick's are a bit better and more natural, whereas Tim's are more practiced and learned (in ways that sometimes show).
Let's start with Dick first, and then I'll get back to Tim.
Dick
Comforting friends in Titans Secret Files:
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Dick: Will you go back in there and sit down? This is my house. You don't need to clean up after me! Donna: I know, I just... I just ... Dick: Hey, hey... what's the matter? Donna: Nothing. It's nothing. Dick (reaching out to supportively grip her shoulders): Donna, this is me here, remember?
A bit out of sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Titans 3:
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Dick: The movie runs 98 minutes. So if we fast-forward past the coming attractions and watch only half the credits, I can still make it back to Blüdhaven in time to - Roy: Nightwing, chill. Team morale demands that you relax and enjoy yourself.
Fighting with friends in Titans 13:
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Dick: We haven't used it much, Changeling. But that's gonna be different. Starting right now. Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed. Kory: How dare you? How can you just stand there talking to us like we're a military detachment -
Giving support to relative strangers in Nightwing 87:
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Neighbor 1: Oh, he - he's a true gentleman, you know? Always holds the door, or helps me up the stairs with my groceries if we both come in at the same time... Neighbor 2: ...used his motorcycle to jumpstart my car one morning and even got my brother-in-law a job with Wayne Enterprises when he got laid off... Neighbor 3: ...and he's very, very, very nice and doesn't talk down to me. Plus he lets me use his basketball.
Offering practical support (making dinner) in Prodigal:
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Tim: I can't believe you can actually cook... Dick: I like to eat. Tim: So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night. Dick: That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning. Tim: Yeah. But at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs.
Strengths:
I think Dick's people skills are pretty simple: he has them! He's good at people! And I tend to think of Dick's people skills as so automatic they're mostly instinctive. It's not something he really has to think about because it's so ingrained in him. A combination of natural talent plus a childhood spent around sociable performers means Dick's just really highly attuned to the people around him.
And I don't think he's particularly obvious about it. So e.g. you could be having a conversation with Dick where he didn't seem like he was paying close attention, but if there was An Important Moment where you got anxious for a moment or let something important slip or let a bit of anger show through etc. - Dick will have picked up on it, even if it's unconsciously, and it'll stick with him and come back to him later.
And just generally - I think Dick has good instincts for who he can trust and who he shouldn't trust; when he's treading on conversational landmines he'll often pick up the unease even if he doesn't have the context to know why there's a problem; if he's trying to comfort and trusts his instincts he'll often do the right thing even if he can't justify in words why he felt like that was the right thing to do.
So I think for Dick, there's always the level of conscious awareness - the things he's aware he knows, if you will - and the level of unconscious awareness - things he senses, but maybe can't explain, or maybe doesn't want to know so he's suppressing the thoughts.
So he's good at leading, and he's good at comforting, and he's good at listening, and he's good at figuring out the right thing to say...
Like, he's good at all of it, so it's actually sort of difficult to elaborate because there's just not that much nuance? Given any particular interpersonal situation, Dick has an excellent chance of getting a quick read on some random guy he's just met and then getting the reaction he wants pretty fast, whether it's intimidating the guy or comforting him or getting him to cooperate or taunting him until he loses his temper, etc etc etc.
Obviously Dick's not a mind reader, and he can get things wrong, especially when he's in the throes of one of his own personal crises, but generally I think Dick's very very sure-footed with people, even with strangers.
Weaknesses:
This isn't a weakness precisely because Dick's usually doing it on purpose, but he'll sometimes have fights with his friends because they think he's acting overly professional/detached and he thinks they're not being professional enough. So e.g. in Titans 13, you can see Dick's set up the room almost like he's leading a business meeting, and he's the boss lecturing them, and they're reacting by getting mad at him. Part of this is basically a Traditional Bat Problem - Tim's friends also balk because they feel like Tim's keeping them at a distance - but Dick tends to lean especially hard on "I'm The Leader Here So Shut Up And Do What I Say" professionalism / distancing.
When things are going well, Dick's friends may grumble at his intense professionalism but basically appreciate it (this is basically how things go in their reunion in TT vol 2); when things are not going well, though, it becomes a point of tension. Generally, Dick gets extra-professional as a coping mechanism when under stress, as here in TT vol 2 12:
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To the extent that Dick falters with social skills, it tends to be almost exclusively with people he knows well, not with strangers. Dick sometimes struggles with maintaining relationships, largely because he's often juggling multiple responsibilities; he'll sometimes get hyperfixated on something and deprioritize his more stable relationships (so e.g. when he gets fixated on trying to fix Blüdhaven and gets distracted from his relationship with Babs).
Somewhat relatedly, if things start going wrong in his own life, he tends to self-isolate out of shame and avoid everyone he thinks of as more put-together. So, for example, in the aftermath of Blockbuster, he's a self-destructive mess who's trying to dodge and/or drive away Clark and Roy and Tim (all people who care about him and would want to help), but Sophia Tevis and Rose are two messed-up young strangers in trouble and their obvious neediness trips his "urgency" meter, plus he may be a mess but they have no context to realize that so he doesn't feel so self-conscious, and he's able to be drive-by super-helpful to them and then dive right back into privately self-destructing.
Also not a weakness per se, but he tends to be a bit of an introvert in general - he and Wally are close, but they go long stretches of time without catching up; when he's spending time with friends, usually it's Donna / Wally / the Titans / Tim visiting Dick rather than the other way around; he's more likely to get cajoled into joining a team than the other way round - Wally talks him into rejoining the Titans and Roy talks him into joining the Outsiders. He likes people and likes spending time with friends, but he's usually not the one initiating a social gathering. He's self-aware about this; in Titans 9, he muses, "It's not the newness that's the problem. The problem is the old stuff. The ruts. You know someone long enough - well enough - and you fall into a rut with them... you completely take the relationship for granted..."
Relatedly, because Dick's pretty self-contained, he has a recurring problem where loved ones interpret him as distant or detached or indifferent even when he's still passionately attached - both Kory and Babs break up with Dick in part because they feel like he's not really that committed to them (also there are mmm Problematic Plotlines involved but I'm ignoring those for the purposes of this post), and in both cases IMO they're misreading him. He's deeply upset by both breakups and responds with big declarations of feeling and, uh, proposing marriage shortly afterward. (Okay, so he's not ALWAYS sure-footed sdfdsfs)
When Dick's getting something wrong, it's usually because he's upset and overcompensating - when things with Kory and Babs are tense, he tries to fix it with Big Gestures; when Vic's mad at him about spying, he missteps with an elaborate secret plan culminating in a big dramatic offering of a new body which Vic does want... but he's still understandably miffed at Dick for making a bunch of decisions behind his back instead of talking to him. Dick guesses right about something Vic will want, but because Dick when he's feeling guilty tends to slide into I-Am-The-Leader, I-Must-Fix-Everything-By-Myself, I-Am-Responsible-For-Everything mode, he forgets that the whole original problem is connected to not respecting Vic's autonomy / right to make decisions for himself, and that a better gesture would be asking Vic what he wants instead of once again making decisions on his behalf without consulting him. (I'm sympathetic to Dick's spying-on-Vic plan on account of how Vic did turn into an evil moon for a bit - comics are bonkers, you guys sdfdsfs - but I'm also very sympathetic to Vic feeling that he deserved fuller disclosure here.)
And you can see similar patterns in lower-key conflicts too: every time Dick gets accused of being just like Batman, it's usually because he's coming off as harsh or detached or uncaring (sometimes on purpose because he's pushing people away; sometimes just because Dick handles grief and fear by shutting down; sometimes because his the-buck-stops-here leadership style can come off as overly-detached), even though Dick actually cares SO SO MUCH, all the time, about everyone he knows.
But honestly... these weaknesses exist, but they're minor in comparison to his strengths?? Dick's a guy with a lot of very strong friendships for a reason. He's true as steel and once he cares about you, he cares about you forever. <3
OKAY! So that's Dick. Let's finally move on to...
Tim
Comforting friends in Joker's Last Laugh 3:
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Tim: Babs? Is everything okay? (hugs her)
A bit out-of-sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Young Justice 7:
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Cassie: A campout isn't a campout without a real fire. It's no fun at all. Tim: But the generator is far more efficient, Cassie. It's non-polluting, it poses no threat of forest fire, and it's... it's ... (taking in everybody else's expressions, sighing, reversing course) It's no fun at all. Impulse, can you...?
Fighting with friends in Adventure Comics 3 (stonewalling, avoidance, and lying!)
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Conner: You weren't picking up. Tim: I didn't know it was you. Conner: I turned off my caller ID blocking. Tim: I was busy. I am busy. Conner: Too busy to talk to your best friend? Tim: Yes. No.
Giving emotional support to relative strangers in Robin 98 / 100 / 156:
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Wesley: I just wanted to thank you. They tell us at the meetings that it's important to let people know how you feel. You did a lot for me - making me sober up. If you hadn't taken the time to notice - (Later) Tim: You're gonna stay strong, right? (Wesley: Right.) Tim: You're gonna stay sober, okay? (Wesley: Okay.) Tim: You're gonna do it 'cause - Wesley: 'Cause if I don't you'll come back and kick my butt all over campus. Tim: Uh huh.
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(The redhaired guy was about to jump. Tim convinces him to sit down and talk first.) Tim: So, you're in college? Guy: Yeah, I'm a freshman. How'd you know? Tim: Just a hunch. I'm guessing you don't like it much. Guy: I always hated high school. Always felt like I was outside looking in, never part of any group or anything. I was on the diving team but even then I didn't feel like part of it. The only good thing was that was where I met Lori, my girlfriend.
Offering practical support (medical care and tea) in Batgirl 59:
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Tim (treating her injury as she shares her traumatic past): Whoa. That's ... horrible. Cass: That's nothing. Stephanie and I used to laugh about - oh... uh... never mind. Wait, Tim. I... I'm so ... stupid, I don't - Tim: You're not stupid. Want some tea? Cass: I ... uh... yeah. Thank you.
Strengths:
Tim! I think Tim's also pretty decent at people - not as good as Dick, but hardly anyone is?
I tend to think of Dick as instinctively good at people, and Tim as more consciously good at people.
Tim spends a lot of time being intentionally watchful: observing, spying, psychoanalyzing people, paying careful attention to what they say, thinking about what makes them tick. (And Tim psychoanalyzes himself, too. Tim is studiously engaged in the study of Tim, and of Tim's friends, and of Tim's family. He's often playing a role, even when that role is "Tim Drake.")
So e.g. in Red Robin, at one point Tim has an elaborate domino-falling database where he's compiled a list of villains he wants to fight and how he wants to fight them, all leading up to a very careful takedown plan for Boomerang where he's thought through and anticipated Boomerang's every move ahead of time... and he's basically right! He gets it all right!
And this kind of intensely-studied logical chess-game of "he will do this for this reason, and then this for that reason, and the other people will respond in this way, like a series of dominos, and I've thought through all the possibilities" is Very Tim to me, and I feel like... this is just the sort of thing that Dick would never ever do?
And mostly Dick wouldn't do it because he wouldn't have to. When Dick's skeptical of James Gordon Jr., he goes to talk to the guy and feel him out, and he ethically feels obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt because there's no evidence against him, but he's got a bad feeling and doesn't trust him and secretly slaps a tracer on him because he's got an instinct he'll want it, and he's right: James Jr. is up to something, and that tracer is exactly the thing that Dick needs.
And similarly if Dick wanted to goad James Jr. into doing something, I think he'd go off and meet him and goad him into doing it, and he'd have an instinct for what to say to make that happen - I think the whole elaborate domino plan that Tim comes up with for Boomerang would feel unnecessarily complex to Dick. Not that Dick doesn't make complicated plans, because he absolutely does, but Dick doesn't usually overthink people.
Similarly, if Dick had been the little kid in Lonely Place of Dying, he'd have gotten worried and gone straight to Bruce and talked to him, not gotten worried and taken photos of Bruce from a distance and then come up with an elaborately overthought plan to go to New York and track down his estranged son and fix him that way. And, like. Kid!Tim's not entirely wrong! He's correctly picked up on a very real and very strong connection between Bruce and Dick even though he doesn't know either of them! And given how little actual information Tim has, this is actually an impressive plan (it's a bad plan, because Tim doesn't know about their fights, but it's an impressively solid plan given that his entire information basis is "watched them from a distance and collected news reports"). But this isn't how Dick thinks about people.
Backing up to a more general point: Tim values people skills really really really highly. I think "uses interpersonal skills to help and comfort other people" is one of Tim's highest values and arguably the highest value - he imprinted on Dick because he was kind, and then imprinted on Batman because he was comforting Dick. And he has six million After-School-Special-style plotlines where he tries to comfort / advise / rescue / etc. people in various stages of emotional distress and who are using bad coping mechanisms. His very first outing as Robin involves talking down a semi-suicidal shooter; the big finale of YJ has Tim talking Secret down from her rampage; he's very gentle when he's comforting his girlfriend after she confides in him about a maybe-attempted-rape; he talks down a suicidal college student in Robin; plus there's the entire concept of "Batman needs Robin" in the first place; not to mention his obsession with the importance of friends; and so forth.
So it's something that he's good at because it's something he values and works at. His people skills are conscious and learned. He does a fair bit of amateur psychoanalysis of other people's problems, and he's generally good at identifying the problems, even if he's not always great at fixing them. And he's often playing a role, or imitating other people, rather than being himself; he invests a lot of time constructing alternate identities; he's often more comfortable wearing a mask. (It is just so typical of Tim that his civilian friendship group is the DCU version of D&D players.)
So his practiced-people-skills work decently well, because he's diligent and he cares a lot, and he's better at people when he's older than when he's younger. And he's extremely good at things he's had a lot of practice with, like meeting new schoolmates, or making small talk, and he's friendly and he likes people, and he's good at learning scripts and following them, and he only tends to misstep when he's distracted or unusually anxious or when he's in a situation where normal social norms don't help. (Of course, since he's a vigilante and not an ordinary person, distracted / unusually anxious / weird situation are all things that happen more often than you might think!)
I also think Tim has a few caretaker instincts that have become automatic - generally he's hyperaware of when people are upset and usually tries to reach out or fix it, and even when he's trying to keep himself at a distance he'll slide into caretaking sometimes - so e.g. there's that moment in Batgirl with Cass when Tim's kinda upset with her for siding with Batman (and distancing himself from other people in general), so he's not intending to get close to her, but also what we see him doing is treating her wounds and then getting her tea. And meanwhile Cass actually wants to reach out, and she's intensely observing him and worrying and wanting to help, but what she actually does is... drink the tea. That Tim got her. While she stays firmly on her side of the couch.
(I tend to think of Cass as slightly similar to Tim but at the very very very beginning of her learn-to-people journey here? Like Tim, she cares!! A lot!! And she's successfully understood that Tim's upset, and she knows when she's put her foot in her mouth. But she's not sure what to do yet.)
Weaknesses:
Tactless! This is a tricky word because I think people sometimes hear 'tactless' and misunderstand it as 'generically rude,' but that's not quite the issue - Tim's quite polite most of the time; his problem is that his default mental monologue is very detached / psychoanalyzing / analytical, including about himself and things he's emotional about. He'll often be analyzing his own emotions even in the process of having them (I also talk about this a little here, though it's mostly a post about Dick and anger), and Tim's also constantly analyzing other people.
This means that if he doesn't edit his brain-to-mouth filter, he can come off as too detached or professional or calculating.
This is obviously similar to Dick's problem of coming off as too detached / professional - again, they're both Bats - but it's not quite the same thing, and I think this distinction is most obvious if you look at the places where they're doing it on purpose and picking fights:
Dick's most likely to pick fights by pulling rank: "I'm the boss, you all fucked up this mission and you better not do it again, shape up or shut up." This is a kind of distancing that's about Dick-the-impassive-boss and you-the-subordinate.
By contrast, Tim's more likely to pick fights via hostile psychoanalysis: "I notice you're being snide about Cass again, but we both know you're actually just mad that Bruce cares about her more than he cares about you." When he's miffed, both his inner monologue and the things he says tend toward 'uncharitable analysis of your emotional weaknesses,' and this is something he periodically directs at Bruce / Jason / Damian. This is a kind of distancing that's about Tim-the-hostile-analyst and you-the-unfortunate-target-of-analysis.
(Caveats: I don't think Tim's above trying to pull rank if he can, but he rarely has the opportunity; Dick's not above jabs at other people's weaknesses when he's very defensive and feeling attacked - junkie, elevator - but IMO he's more likely to pull rank, whereas Tim's jabs are more likely to be wrapped up in insulting psychoanalysis, so e.g. Jason's insecurity is his problem. The Jan Brady of the Batfamily.)
You can see related similar-sounding-but-different issues if you look at some of their respective breakups. So e.g. Dick has a breakup with Babs in which she thinks he doesn't care about her, and Tim has a breakup with Cassie in which she thinks he doesn't care about her. And these breakups are different for six million reasons (among other things, Dick and Babs have a pretty intense romance, whereas, uh, Tim and Cassie have had one date and IMO she's very right that they're better off as friends).
But you also get some useful character notes:
Babs is wrongly anxious that Dick's mostly in love with nostalgia for their past rather than the person she is now (he 100% does love the person she is now!) and she's being unfairly bitchy about Catalina, but she's also correctly noted that he's gotten into the habit of deprioritizing their relationship in favor of vigilante busywork & that he's been a bit pushy in swooping in protectively rather than letting her fight her own battles, so when she's accusing him of being a control freak it's not completely coming from thin air; Dick responds by getting hurt, upset, and direct (he gets furious and punches something, but then makes a big sweet sincere emotional speech to her about how much he cares and values her, albeit one that's so caught up in his own emotions like wanting to "protect" her that he's not slowing down enough to take in her insecurities).
Cassie has correctly realized that dating Tim is a bad coping mechanism and she really needs to just deal with her grief over Conner; when she starts crying, at first Tim moves to comfort her, but when she actually clarifies the breakup, an upset Tim responds by aggressively de-emotionalizing the conversation and pretending he's being totally logical and not emotional about it - he first wonders aloud if he's a bad detective for not seeing it coming and then attempts a bonkers guilt-trip suggestion that it's their duty to date in order to uhhh avoid turning evil in the bad future (sdfsfdsfdsfds sure tim nice try)
This isn't because Tim literally doesn't have feelings, because of course he does! But often, the more upset he is, the worse he gets at clearly expressing those feelings, and the more he intellectualizes them or avoids discussing them.
(Caveat: The trouble with any distinction is that it's easy to exaggerate it in ways that are oversimplified, and I want to emphasize that this doesn't reduce to "Dick always expresses emotions, Tim is never emotional," or anything like that. Dick has a bunch of complicated feelings about the intensity of his emotions because he values control and detachment and often is trying to be more detached (I talk more about this in the context of anger here and here); Tim often retreats to faux-analytical detachment when he's actually very emotional; and these are tendencies rather than one-note 24/7 truths - Dick is completely capable of intellectualizing away his emotions; Tim is completely capable of just getting straightforwardly and directly upset. But if you're looking for broad distinctions, I think it's fair to say that Dick's usually better at directly using his words and expressing his emotions, even if he sometimes feels self-conscious shame about it later, whereas Tim tends to self-sabotage and deflect and hide by producing intellectualized faux-logic instead of just being direct about what he wants or what he's feeling.)
An unrelated issue is that Tim also tends to get intrusive when he's anxious, and it gets worse the more he cares about you. Tim really really really wants to know what's going on and has an intense Need To Help, which generally works out for him - this is the entire reason he pushes his way into the Batfamily! - but it's easy to imagine Tim running into people who might not appreciate his busybody sneakiness; so e.g. secretly stalking your friend because he has a bruise, or running your friend's DNA, etc., is... stuff that all comes from how much Tim cares, but also it involves a very fuzzy relationship with other people's privacy, so Tim's friendships that stick around tend to be with people who find this kind of intense observation to be caring rather than pushy. Relatedly, Tim's version of "be protective" can overlap with "be condescending," which means he tends to get along best with confident people like Bruce, who could punt him into a wall and who thus finds Tim's 'disapproving medic' shtick endearing instead of insulting.
Tim also struggles to connect to people for whom he doesn't have an obvious "script" or who don't respond to his usual scripts. So e.g. offering Gar a "you don't like me but let's be friends" handshake worked; offering Cass a "let's be friends" handshake worked; offering the same thing to Damian did not go over so well; and I think this kind of "it usually works so this is my habit now?" thing is very Tim, and I don't think it's the sort of mistake that Dick would make.
More broadly, because Tim's people skills are conscious and learned - the effort sometimes shows! He stares at people. He secretly spies on them. He pokes around in their secrets. Dick can be paying close attention to you and seem like he's not, so that his awareness seems effortless and less intrusive. I think Tim's awareness tends to be a bit more effortful.
That said, though, I don't think that Tim's intensely-observing-you shtick is necessarily obvious except to people who are fairly socially-skilled themselves. When I write fanfic, I generally write from Dick's POV, and I tend to write Dick being hyperaware of when, say, Tim's observing him, or trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I think of that as more "Dick's good at reading Tim and really aware of being watched, so every attempt at subtlety stands out in neon lighting," and I think to someone who's less good at reading people than Dick is, Tim is a lot subtler.
And I think for e.g. someone like Cass, who really struggles with people skills, Tim seems impossibly and naturally good at interactions in the same way that to Tim, Dick seems incredibly good at it.
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fanficimagery · 2 months ago
Text
Joining the Biz.
When the hotels are all booked up, your cousin asks if a few friends can crash at your place. You accept, not knowing you'll be meeting some people who will become lifelong friends and get a shot at doing what you once loved. [Part One of Three]
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Words: 7.7K Author's Note: Never thought I'd wanna write for wrestlers. Just a reminder that I am writing for the CHARACTERS they portray on TV and the way I think these CHARACTERS would be "at home", therefore everyone is single lol. I will tagging this as Jey Uso X Reader, but please be informed that it will not be romance heavy. I'm pretty sure there's not a lot of Jey/Reader interactions, but some of the stuff between them is cutesy rather than steamy. ALSO EVERYONE'S OOC BECAUSE I JUST RECENTLY STARTED WATCHING AND I DON'T KNOW THEIR PERSONALITIES JUST YET.
You're watching the new A Quiet Place movie when your cell rings. Glancing briefly at the screen sitting next to your thigh, you see it's your cousin that you haven't seen in quite a few months.
Pausing the movie, you answer the call. "Dum-Dum, you're alive!"
"Aye, prima, I got a huge favor to ask."
"Hey, YN, long time no talk. How are you? I'm good, what about you, cuz?" You retort a little mockingly.
Dominik sighs and your lips twitch in amusement. "Hi, prima. You good?"
"Never better. Now what do you need?"
The line goes quiet for a few seconds before, "So Monday Night Raw and Friday Night Smackdown are gonna be in the same arena next week and with all the wrestlers in one place, the hotels booked up pretty quickly."
"Okay, and?"
"It's in your city."
It takes a moment, but a lightbulb goes off over your head. "Let me guess, you need a place to stay?"
"Not me, but three friends do. They're scrambling right now, cuz. Please tell me no one's moved in since we last talked."
Chuckling softly, you say, "You know I'm gonna be the perpetually single prima." Dominik chuckles on his side of the line. "And my two spare rooms are always ready for a visitor. But if you're really desperate for a third, I don't mind bunking up with someone since my bed is huge. So long as it doesn't piss off any significant other, someone can bunk with me."
"Aw damn. Your bed is comfy as fuck, and you never let anyone in it."
"No, I just don't let you in it, Dum-Dum. I learned my lesson when we were little. You fight in your sleep."
"Do not."
"Do too. Now, am I rolling out the welcome mat or what? And for how long?"
"One sec." You hang on, listening to the muffled chatter. You don't know who it is that might possibly be staying with you, but you do catch Dominik mentioning that someone named Damian could benefit from sharing with you since he's the tallest and would actually fit in your bed. A few more moments and then he says, "Yes, and are you able to host for like a week or so? We'll be flying out early tomorrow morning. I can be at your place with your guests around five or six in the evening."
"That's fine. Do I get to know who I'm hosting?"
You hear Dominik squeak before, "Hi, mate. It's Rhea. Thanks so much for doing this. I really wasn't looking forward to sharing a small bed with someone."
"It's 'ya uce, Jey Uso." You chuckle at his enthusiasm, realizing his energy matches his persona on TV.
"And, uh, I'm Damian. I promise I don't punch or kick in my sleep."
You huff a laugh. "Priest, right? The tall one?"
"Yeah."
"You'll be good, man. The mattress of my bed is literally from one side of the wall to the other. The only way to get on it is to crawl on from the foot of the bed. Just ask Dominik."
"S'true, man. YN has always been weird about her space on the bed. She needs a lot of it."
"But I'll be fine sharing. I just wasn't a fan of waking up spooning or being spooned by a cousin. But walking, talking, kink material? Yes, please."
There's a sharp bark of laughter of who you assume is Rhea.
"What did you just say?" Dominik muses, more laughter ringing out as your words sink in.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, cuz. I'm only joking."
"No, you're not. You totally think he's hot."
"Duh. Ripley, Priest, the Usos, Roman Reigns.. they're all smokin'."
"Thanks, mate!"
"You're welcome, mi amor," you retort. "But just because I think they're hot doesn't mean I wanna be railed by them, Dum-Dum."
"I know." He gives a long suffering sigh that you can't help but smile at. "It's why when I realized we were gonna be in town and these morons needed a place to crash, I thought of you. You won't fuck around with my friends. Not like that."
"Aw, I love you too, cuz. Now get off my phone. I was watching a movie before you interrupted me."
"Alright, alright. I'll text you tomorrow."
"Okay. Bye, everyone!"
After hearing a chorus of byes in return, you end the call and go back to your movie.
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After a long morning and afternoon of cleaning and changing out bedsheets for fresh ones, you're finally able to relax. You had planned to make a meal, but not knowing if anyone had any dietary restrictions, you decided against it. Instead, your cousin Dominik assured you that they'd pick up some food on the way to your house for you and themselves since you're hosting them.
You're cleaning the pool and making sure the water is balanced to be of use the next day when your phone pings with alerts from your security cameras out front. When you check it and see a black SUV parked behind your Jeep Compass and Range Rover in the driveway, you put everything away and head inside to greet your guests through the front door.
You open your front door, leaning against the door jamb as you watch the men unload suitcases and duffel bags.
Rhea Ripley, however, is walking up your porch stairs with four boxes of pizza in hand. "Ding dong," she muses.
"Hi," you greet. She manages to balance the boxes on one hand, reaching out with the other to give you a brief hug. "Did you guys have a good flight? Drive?"
"Yeah, dude, it was fine. Just this thing with the hotel was stressing us out, but you and Dom came through for us."
"Well, I'm glad to be of service," you say. Just then, the guys start walking up. "Hey, Dum-Dum."
You offer him a brief hug right before he personally introduces you to Rhea, Damian, and Jey.
"Hey, lil' mama, thanks for doing this. It was really cool of you to let us crash here," Jey says.
"It's no problem whatsoever," you assure him. "Now if you guys wanna come in and set the food in the kitchen, I'll show you around real quick."
Rhea sets the pizzas down on the kitchen island, Dominik volunteers to get drinks out, as well as plates while you show your three guests around. The main rooms they need to know on the first floor are the bathroom, the laundry room, your office in case they have any work that needs to be addressed with a computer, and one of the free guest rooms. Rhea and Jey glance at each other, but when you assure them the two guest rooms are the same size, Jey opts for it and sets his belongings in the room.
Upstairs, Rhea places her own belongings in the second spare room, peeks into the main bathroom between the bedrooms, and then the way Damian smiles when he sees the bed you and him are to share makes you laugh.
"Looks like I'm actually gonna get some good sleep this week," he says as he places his suitcase and bags off to the side. "Hotels really need to make bigger beds for those of us over six feet."
"Goddamn, you're tall," you mutter.
Rhea laughs, even more so when Jey tries to swap places with Damian because your bed looks really inviting as large as it is.
When you head downstairs and back into the kitchen, Dominik asks, "Did you show them the gym?"
"Gym? What gym?" Rhea asks, clearly excited.
You roll your eyes at your cousin. "It's nothing fancy. I just closed off my garage and turned into a gym that's perfect for me."
"I wanna see it."
Chuckling softly, you lead them to your small gym. When you turn on the lights, you say, "It's nothing sophisticated, but it's mine."
"Can we use it?" Jey asks.
"Sure. You probably won't get the workout you're used to with this equipment, but you're more than welcomed to this space."
"As long as we can break a sweat, we're good," Rhea says.
"Question," Damian says, his deep voice sending shivers down your back. It's really unfair that your cousin's friends are so good looking. "Is that a stripper pole?"
"Yeah." You laugh. "Dum-Dum didn't tell you how I bought this house?"
Jey's mouth drops open. "Girl, you a stripper?"
"Was a stripper," you correct him. "But that's a long story. I can tell it over pizza."
As you head into the kitchen, Dominik tells the four of you to dig in while it's still warm. Dominik leans against one of the kitchen counters, you hop up on another, and your three guests take a seat on a stool at the kitchen island.
Only after everyone has downed at least a slice and a half does Dominik start talking.
"Is anyone curious as to why YN has a gym in her home?"
"Because she likes to work out?" Rhea shrugs, glancing around at the random question.
"To keep in shape for that stripper pole we peeped out there," Jey tries.
You grin, shaking your head at him. Apparently, he really wants that stripper story.
Damian, however, seems to piece a part of your story together. "With Dom and Rey in the business, my guess is that you're training for the family business as well."
With your free hand, you touch the tip of your nose and point at Damian with a wink. "Sort of."
"YN used to train with me when we were younger," Dominik says. "Was supposed to join the biz when I joined."
"What happened?" Rhea asks.
"My dad." With a sigh, you set down your half-eaten slice of pizza and take a drink of your soda. "I really love everything about the wrestling life and was stoked to be a part of it when Tio Rey said I had potential. My dad wanted me to head off to college, but my mom wanted me to do whatever made me happy."
"And wrestling made you happy," Jey says.
You nod. "Very much. I started training after school, giving Dum-Dum a run for his money," you muse before turning a little sad, "but then my mom got sick. Her insurance barely wanted to pay the bare minimum, my dad couldn't keep up with the bills, and it was my turn to get an after-school job that paid."
Everyone winces in sympathy.
"After I graduated high school, I knew I needed a job that would pay well without a college degree, so I took up stripping. It took me almost a year to make a name for myself and have some regular customers that showed up for only me, but I did it. I could tell my dad was highly disappointed, but he didn't say shit to my face because my money was making a dent in the bills that had been piling up." You pause to give a sigh. "After five years, the treatments just stopped working for my mom. She passed, my dad and I made plans to purchase this exact house we're standing in, but then his new girlfriend had to go and ruin that."
Dominik chuckles. "Pendeja was under the impression my tio was paying for this house. Little did she know that YN was putting up eighty percent of the cash for this place and was going to be paying the mortgage while her dad only paid the electric and water."
You shake your head as you remember everything you went through with your dad. "We were at the meeting to close on this house when his girlfriend started gushing about the changes she was going to make and how it was her house, and I scoffed. I informed her my name was going to be on the deed, changes would have to go through me and my dad, and that she wasn't going to have a say so like she planned. Only when my dad told me to just let his name and her name be on the deed, and he was serious about it, did I pull out from the deal.
"The homeowners who were selling understood because they'd been dealing with me the entire time, and in front of my dad, promised that they'd hold off if I still wanted the place and would give me time to get the rest of the cash. I wasn't going to agree because I really didn't need a place this big for just myself, but the second my dad called me a selfish bratty bitch did I agree to purchase the house and cut all contact with my dad."
"Damn, girl. That's rough," Damian says.
You nod. "It was, but I made do. I continued to dance to make up the difference, bought this place, and then danced some more to put myself through college. I earned a nice little nest egg while getting a higher education, and now that I work for myself.. I'm golden. I'm peachy fuckin' keen."
"That's what I like to hear," Rhea says, smiling and saluting you with her own drink.
"But that's not all, is it?" Dominik muses. "A little birdie told me that dad's been advocating for you in WWE."
You smile as everyone glances at you. "Your little sister is a narc." Dominik laughs as you explain. "Tio Rey wants me in, not to fight in the women's division but to just be someone on the sidelines to cause interference since I'm so rusty. And since my work schedule is pretty fuckin' flexible, I can swing it. There's just not a storyline that can be easily manipulated to bring in an unknown female."
"Well, whatever happens, I hope you get in," Rhea says. "We need more ladies."
"And look, uce, you can come to Raw with all the cool kids or I can hook you up with my brothers and cousins on Smackdown."
You laugh. "You guys are talking as if I'm for sure going to work in the WWE. It's all just talk right now."
"Well, if you still got that talent from when we were younger," Dominik says. "I'm sure we'll be seeing you on the sidelines soon."
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and finish eating."
As everyone finishes up eating, Damian and Rhea take it upon themselves to wash dishes and Dominik takes out the trash since he's on his way out to go get settled in at his hotel.
You walk with Dominik outside, leaning against your porch railing.
"You good, prima?" He asks. You nod, smiling softly. "I just wanna say thanks again for doing this for my friends."
"Don't even worry about it," you say. "I've been bored lately. It'll be nice to have some noise for a little bit."
"Yeah? Well, if you need anything, I'm only a phone call away. Rey too."
"I'll be fine, Dum-Dum. Rhea, Jey, and Damian seem really cool."
"Alright." Dominik gives you a hug. "I'll see you if I'm not busy working. You also have ringside tickets for Monday, so clear your schedule for that day."
"Thanks. Night, Dom."
"Night, YN."
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Waking up the following morning, you stretch and quietly groan. For a moment you forget you have guests, but then a deep chuckle from the other side of your bed reminds you that not only do you have guests but that you have a guest in bed with you. You turn your head, spotting a sleepy Damian just waking up himself.
"Goddamn. This bed had no right being this comfortable."
You huff a laugh and roll onto your side, tucking an arm beneath your head. "I take it you slept well?"
"Yeah. It's been a while since I've slept in."
His words slowly make you realize that you've slept in too. "Shit. What time is it?" You sit up, patting the bed around you for your phone until you remember you placed it on the floating shelf connected to the wall above where you had slept. Turning, you snatch your phone and check the time. It's nine in the morning. "Fuckkk," you groan as you fall back against your pillows.
"What happened? You miss work or something?"
"Nah. Nothing like that." You take a moment to yawn. "I just have a routine, and I forgot to set my alarm," you tell him.
He hums in understanding. The two of you go quiet, sleep threatening to take you back under until you feel the bed at your feet shift and jostle. Opening your eyes, you find Rhea crawling into bed, burrowing under the blanket you're using.
"Oi. What are we talking about?"
You chuckle as Rhea snuggles down, hair mused and face clean of her usual dark makeup.
"Nothing. YN was just talking about how she missed her routine."
"What routine?"
"I run in the mornings," you admit. "Wake up at six, run two miles around the neighborhood to get the blood pumping, and then do whatever needs to be done whether it be work-work or house-work."
"What's on the agenda for today?"
"Not a damn thing. I cleared my schedule until the middle of next week," you say. "I'm free as a bird, so if you want to do something in town, I'm down. Or if you have errands to run or need to head to the arena to train, the Range Rover is yours to use while you're staying here."
Damian and Rhea are saying their thanks when Jey launches himself on the other side of you. You groan as the others laugh. "Damn, uce, this bed is huge. You can fit at least one other body in here."
Jey is apparently an affectionate person and has no issue sliding under your blanket as well. But while Rhea kept a few inches between you, Jey practically plasters his chest to your back and snuggles up to you with a content sigh.
You shake with suppressed laughter. "Comfortable, Uso?"
"Extremely. What's everyone doin' today?"
"Priest and I have a meeting with the higher ups," Rhea says. "After that, nothing."
"I'll be making use of the gym here to get the blood pumping," Jey says.
All three go quiet and you only speak when you feel Jey squeeze you around the waist. "Well while you guys are working, I'll be relaxing out back in the pool."
Time seems to freeze before,
"You got a pool?!"
"Yes?" You laugh.
"Alright, change of plans. I'm gonna work out and then float my ass in the pool out back. You got any floaties, uce?"
"Duh."
"Then yeah, we floatin'."
You grin sleepily. "You guys gonna be free for dinner?" At their confirmed status of being free, you say, "I'm feelin' steaks, jalapeño poppers, and roasted corn. Any objections?"
"Nope."
"No."
"Hell nah."
"This arrangement is proving to be better than staying at a hotel," Damian muses. "You sure we're not putting you out?"
"No way. I grew up with big family cookouts, random hangouts, and sleepovers and I miss it. When mom died, dad and I stopped going out as much. Dad's side of the family kind of wanted nothing to do with me when I wouldn't let his then girlfriend take control of the house I was buying, and while I kept in touch with my mom's side of the family, it just wasn't the same."
"Which side does Dom come from?" Rhea asks.
"Mom's." You smile sadly. "My mom and his mom were sisters."
"Family is everything," she says and you nod in agreement. "But blood does not define family. If the rest of your family won't recognize you, we will. You're stuck with us now."
As Rhea spoke, your eyes got a little teary. "Goddammit, Ripley. It's too early to be crying."
"I'm sorry." She laughs and reaches for your hand, squeezing it.
"Come on," Damian eventually groans, reaching over to nudge Rhea. "The sooner we get this meeting over with, the quicker we can get back to chill by the pool."
Rhea groans as she has to get out of bed and Damian immediately calls dibs on the bathroom upstairs as he scoots out of bed after her.
"And then there were two," Jey muses, brazenly pressing his face into the back of your neck as he holds you.
Chuckling, you free an arm from beneath the blanket and then gently slap him on the thigh. "Come on, Uso. Let's get sweaty."
"That's what I'm talking about!"
This time, you bark out a laugh. "Down, boy. We're just going for a run to get that blood of yours pumping before you hit up the mini gym."
"Not what I had in mind, but I'm down."
Since Damian's occupying the upstairs bathroom, you grab an extra toothbrush and toothpaste from your hall closet and head towards the downstairs bathroom where Rhea is. Knocking on the door, you wait until you hear her call out.
"Yeah?"
"Is it cool if I brush my teeth in there? I promise I won't sneak any looks!"
Rhea laughs. "Sure thing, babe. Door's unlocked!"
Your shower stalls have glass doors, so you keep your gaze averted. Fortunately, Rhea likes a steamy shower so even if you had glanced in her direction, all you would see is the outline of her body.
"Didn't want to sneak any looks at Damian?" She muses.
You laugh as you wet your toothbrush and apply some toothpaste. "I still think of that man as walking, talking, kink material-" Rhea barks out a laugh, "-but now that I've met him, he gives off major big brother energy. I do not want to see the peen. Well, I kind of do, but I'm intimidated."
"Oh my god. I'm gonna love hanging out with you this week."
You make quick work of brushing your teeth and washing your face, and then tell Rhea where to find the keys to the Range Rover in case you and Jey leave before her and Damian are ready.
Back up in your room, you get dressed in your workout gear- a cropped dark tank top made out of spandex material and a pair of black and white running shorts. You put on your running shoes, tie your hair up into a ponytail, then grab the strap that your phone zips into before securing it around your bicep.
You run into Damian on your way downstairs, telling him what you told Rhea about where to find the keys to the Range Rover and not to bother locking up if you and Jey are gone before he and Rhea leave. He thanks you for letting them use your vehicle and you head outside into the backyard, stretching in the little spot that you've sectioned off for yoga sessions.
Jey is outside as well, taking a picture of the pool where he's apparently set loose some pool floats and rearranged the chairs off to the side. You shake your head at him in amusement, twisting your body into the runner's lunge twist.
As you're holding the pose, stretching your muscles, you hear, "Look up, sweetheart. Let me see that smile." Instead of just smiling, however, you flip him off. Jey laughs, snapping the pic. "Is it cool if I post that?"
"That's fine."
As Jey does a few of his own stretches, he's messing with his phone. He's smiling the entire time and when he puts his phone away, you finish up your stretching and check his socials to see what he posted and/or said.
It doesn't take you long to find the post on Instagram, a post of two pics. The first is your pool looking rather inviting and the next pic is of you flipping him off. The caption reads, Can't wait to go for a swim, but first I need to get the blood pumping with this peach of a lady and an added kissy face emoji.
"You're ridiculous," you call out and he laughs.
"You see it?"
"Yes." In response to his post, you leave a comment with the middle finger emoji and two blue hearts. "Now come on, Uso. Time to run."
You and Jey round the side of the house just as Rhea and Damian walk down the porch stairs. You tell Damian that the address to your house is already programmed into the GPS should he need it on the way back and he nods, tossing and catching the key fob in his hand. You and Jey then stand side by side on the sidewalk, and after making sure he's ready, you set off at a leisurely pace.
As you round the street corner, you speed up a little more. Jey keeps pace and the only sound for a good while is your feet pounding against the pavement. Several minutes into your run, however, you notice Jey lagging behind. And when you glance over your shoulder to see if he's fine, you see him with his phone out again.
Not wanting to speak and expend your breath, you continue running. Jey follows you, keeping pace once more, and then urging you faster on the way back to your house.
By the time you make it back to your kitchen, you're panting and leaning against the kitchen island. "I'm never running with you again."
"Aw, come on, girl. That was fun."
"For you! What were you doing with your phone out anyway?"
Before he can answer, his phone starts ringing. He glances at it, then at you. "It's Jimmy. Do you mind?"
"Go ahead."
Jey answers what ends up being a Facetime call and you walk around your kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water as they talk.
"Ay, uce, you good?" Jey asks.
"Yeah, but not as good as you apparently. Where the hell you at that you have access to a pool?"
You're mid-sip, grinning against the rim of your glass when Jey points his phone at you. "Mysterio's cuz came through. Say hi." You awkwardly wave at the camera as you hear Jimmy laugh and hear him call out his own hello. Then Jey continues the talk. "So how's the hotel?"
"Boring. We either hang out in our rooms or at the arena. Nothing fancy or fun."
Quickly finding a pen and pad of paper, you jot something down and then slide it over to Jey- Invite him over. Pool's big enough and dinner is on me.
"Ay, uce, who's with you right now?" Jey asks after reading your note.
"Just Solo and Roman. Why?"
Jey glances at you and you nod. "You guys wanna come over? Pool's big enough and YN is grilling steaks tonight for us here."
"Shit. Forreal?"
"Yeah." You call out when Jey looks at you once more. "I just need a headcount so I can go grab the steaks and corn from the store here in a bit. Damian and Rhea are currently at the arena in one of my vehicles, so I'm sure they can swing by and pick you up if you guys need a ride."
"No worries, we got our own ride. We just need an address."
"I'll have Jey send it to you. Are all three of you coming?"
"Sure thing, ma."
Jey talks to his brother for another minute before ending the call, opening up his texts and handing you the phone so you can enter your address. You do so and then after downing your water, you tell Jey you're going to shower before heading out to the store. Jey tells you he'll tag along and to not leave without him.
. . . .
Later, when you're done shopping and preparing the backyard for guests, you smile wide when you spot your cousin walking in with a case of beer and a holler that the party has arrived. Behind him, Jimmy Uso, Solo Sikoa, and Roman Reigns enter.
You greet everyone with a smile and hug (if they offered), then proceed to show them where both bathrooms are and the room that Jey is staying in so they can change into their swim trunks wherever they're most comfortable. Then before you go back outside, you take a moment to change into your own two piece bathing suit that consists of a dark green v-neck top that pulls down over your head like a sports bra and dark green high waisted bottoms that have cutouts along your hips. And since you're not jumping into the water right away, you pull on a loose, white button down shirt with its sleeves rolled up to your elbows and tuck the front hem of the shirt into a pair of cutoff denim shorts.
As you head back out, you pass Damian and Rhea in the kitchen, cutting jalapeños in half and scooping out the seeds so they can put cream cheese in them before wrapping them in bacon.
Dominik is outside, looking everything over before meeting your gaze with a smile. "You're loving this, aren't you?"
"I miss hanging out," you admit with a chuckle. "And hosting isn't so bad when all the men are handsome as fuck."
He shakes his head in amusement. "You opening up the hot tub?"
"Should I?" You frown.
"Yes, estúpida. I can guarantee that'll be the hangout spot after dinner."
"Well go get it set up," you tell him.
As Dominik preps the hot tub, you make sure the outside bar is all stocked up. The beer Dominik brought and the beer Jey suggested you buy earlier is in the cooler, the freezer is filled with ice, your blender is clean and ready for margaritas, and there's a whole stash of alcohol in case anyone wants anything stronger.
You're connecting a laptop to the outside speakers when Damian pops up. "Hey, hermosa, the poppers are sitting in the fridge for when you're ready for them. Do you need anything else done?"
"No, sir. You and Rhea are guests. Go change and lounge. I can do the rest."
"Are you sure?"
You smile at him. "Positive. Enjoy your time off, Priest."
"Alright. But hurry up. You deserve to have some fun too before you start cooking."
After shooing Damian off, you head inside to quickly peel some potatoes. Four shirtless Samoans finally walk out from Jey's room, and you have to shoo Jey out when he tries to help out in the kitchen.
"I'm good," you say, swatting at his hands when he tries to grab the potato peeler from the counter. "Go have fun."
"But-"
"No buts!" His jaw snaps shut and you arch an eyebrow at him, silently challenging him to do something about it. Hearing a snicker, you glance at his grinning twin Jimmy and younger brother Solo. "Can y'all please go throw his ass in the pool? Not only did this fool have the audacity to jump into my bed this morning-"
"Rhea was in there too! I thought it was a group thing!"
"-but he snapped pics of my ass on our run this morning."
"You saw those?"
You glare at him, but end up laughing when his brothers look offended on your behalf. "I follow you on Instagram. Of course I saw them! You're just lucky my account is private. Your fans already stalked the hell out of my pages and tried adding me." And before Jey can say anything to defend himself, there's a small scuffle as Jimmy and Solo grapple with their brother before pushing him out the door.
You and Roman follow, laughing and then whooping when Jey gets tossed into the pool. Roman lingers and when you glance up at him, he asks, "You sure you don't need any help?"
"Positive. Go have fun, Reigns. And if you want, the laptop at the bar controls the music. I'm not sure what you like listening to, so have fun making a playlist if you want."
"Will do."
You get back to work in the kitchen, but it doesn't take you long to finish up. There's still a couple of hours before you have to get to work, so you head outside to see what everyone's up to. Rhea and Dominik are laid out on the lounges next to the pool, conversing with each other and with Damian and Roman who are inside the pool but hanging onto the ledge near them. Jey, Jimmy, and Solo are not too far, the three brothers splayed out casually on pool floats.
Taking a moment for yourself, you head to the bar and immediately work on a pitcher of margaritas. Rhea hollers that she wants one and you give her a thumbs up to let her know you heard her loud and clear. On reflex, you dig your phone out of your pocket and leave it on the bar so there's no electronic casualties as you walk by the pool's ledge. Then salting the rim of two margarita glasses, you fill them with the slushie goodness and walk yourself over to where Rhea is just sitting up.
"Thanks, mate." She sips her margarita, humming, and you do the same.
You had only taken your eyes off the pool's occupants for a minute that you don't notice one in particular is missing. When you clock Jimmy and Solo staring at you though, your gaze darts around for Jey. Their smirks grow and you tense up. But before you can question where the troublesome individual is, wet arms come down around you from behind. You yelp and a deep chuckle sounds next to your ear.
"You thought you could get away with siccin' my brothers on me, didn't you? My own blood? Nope. Not today, baby girl."
"Jey…" He starts walking towards the pool and you do your best to push back. Unfortunately, he's stronger. "Jey, I have a drink in my hand!"
"Not anymore." Jey had stopped right at the pool's ledge, right where Roman and Damian were, when the margarita is pulled from your hand. You stare down in shock at Damian who's now sipping it.
"You traitor! I'm giving you the shittiest blanket tonight, Priest!"
He shrugs, grinning. "I'll just steal yours."
Everyone starts chanting to toss you in and your toes curl over the pool's ledge as if that'll keep you from going in. "Jey, if you toss me in, I'll-"
"You'll what?"
You know there's no getting out of this predicament, so you reach back and grip onto the sides of Jey's shorts. "I'm taking you with me."
"Wh-" Before he can get the word out, you fall forward and take Jey back into the water with you.
All his weight falls on top of you as you go under water, but it's not as bad as apparently everyone thinks it is. When you resurface, wiping water from your eyes, you're surprised to see everyone looking quite freaked out. Even Jey looks worried, but you merely laugh in return.
"You good, uce?" Jimmy calls out. "That was a whole lot of fat falling on top of you."
You snort as Jey gasps in offense. "I'm good, Jimmy."
You tread water like a foot away from Jey and start stripping off your shirt and shorts while you grumble. You toss them onto the side of the pool, rolling your eyes when Rhea wiggles her eyebrows at you. Jey looks you up and down, even going as far to dip under the water. When he resurfaces, smirking, you swat the back of his head and end up treading water with him and his brothers for a bit.
Eventually, you all end up hanging out around the ledge and in front of the pool lounges where Damian and Solo have swapped out with Rhea and Dominik. Jimmy is the most vocal about getting to know you, especially when he spots you hanging onto his brother's back with Jey's hands supporting you under your thighs as you talk with everyone. He's never seen his twin so comfortable with someone he's just met like this.
No one bats an eye at your stripper past, hell Roman even cracks a joke about taking up stripping if wrestling ever falls through, and then Dominik happily informs them that you're actually quite the little wrestler yourself. You keep it humble though, telling everyone that you're very out of shape and rusty in the ring, and you're like eighty percent sure nothing will come of Rey's thoughts.
They all try to hype you up into seriously thinking about it if wrestling is something you love, but you brush it all off and tell Dominik to help you bring out the steaks from inside.
After drying off, you get the grill going and then put on an apron over your bathing suit. You get the seasoned steaks going on one side of the grill while Dominik fills the other side with corn on the cob that's been smothered in butter and wrapped in foil, as well as the jalapeño poppers. Then while that's cooking, you quickly head inside to dice up the peeled potatoes before dropping them into a pot of water so they can boil.
You and Dominik remain by the grill to make sure nothing overcooks. Then when you have to head back inside, he keeps watch while you mash the potatoes and make a small pot of brown gravy.
When the food gets taken inside, you set everything out on the kitchen island before calling everyone in. They all flood in with towels wrapped around their waists, and none of the men will serve themselves until you and Rhea have made up your plates first. So while you and Rhea take a seat at the table with full plates, you both watch in amusement as they moan and groan about the smell, practically salivating when they take their own seats with their own plates of food.
Dinner ended up being quite the affair, and you were very glad that you had cooked up more steaks than Jey deemed necessary. Apparently his brothers and cousin could really chow down.
Then after dinner and deciding to let the dishwasher get a workout, everyone takes a moment to let their food settle in their stomachs before heading back outside. Instead of the pool, however, they sink into the hot tub.
Drinks are passed around again and the last thing you remember is laughing uncontrollably with this group of people before everything goes dark.
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When you wake up, you have a throbbing headache. But not only that, your mouth feels extremely gross, and you want nothing more than to brush your teeth and eat a mountain of breakfast foods. You take a moment to just lay there and wait for the room to stop spinning, and when it does do you take notice of the weight across your stomach. Slowly, you glance to your right and find Jey sleeping peacefully with his arm draped across you. But for some reason, the bed feels like there's more of a presence in it, and when you glance to your left you can't help but smile.
Next to you and under his own blanket is Jimmy, and then on his other side are Rhea and Damian who are sharing a blanket of their own. You're not sure how you all ended up here, but you carefully extricate yourself from the bed to get some answers. You're still in your bikini and you have a feeling everyone else is still in their swimsuits as well, so you know you're gonna have to do laundry so your bedding doesn't smell like chlorine.
After grabbing a pair of baggy sweatpants, a sports bra, and a pair of socks, you take the quickest shower you've ever taken to get the pool smell off of you and brush your teeth. You wring out as much water as you can from your hair, run a towel through it to soak up some more, and then run your fingers through the strands before tying it up in a messy bun just to keep it all off your neck.
As you pad downstairs and into your kitchen, you find Solo and Roman looking through the cabinets. You take a moment to watch them, grinning when you hear Solo quietly moan about wanting coffee, but not knowing where anything is.
"Two cabinets to your left." Solo jerks in surprise and you grin, walking to the cabinet yourself to grab the coffee grounds. You grab the grounds and filters, handing them off to Solo. "Not that I'm mad about it, but what the hell are you guys doing here?"
Roman's chuckle makes you turn around to face him. "You don't remember?"
"Unfortunately, no. I remember a lot of laughing in the hot tub and then sleeping." You squint your eyes a little, flashes of the night coming back. "Was there dancing?"
Solo snorts as he prepares a pot of coffee. "Do not check your Instagram."
"Aww, man. Who gave me the hard stuff to drink?"
"Your cousin."
"Dominik said you're very family orientated and that you needed last night," Roman says. "Rhea kept you supplied with margaritas, Jey and Jimmy took over the music and there was a dancing competition, your cousin decided shots was a good idea, then you got affectionate like a cat on Jey's lap-" you wince in embarrassment, "-and once the weepiness set in, Dom cut you off."
"And where is my idiot cousin?"
"Back at the hotel. He didn't drink like everyone else did. Solo, Jimmy, and I were capable of driving, but no one wanted to risk it with Smackdown in a couple of days."
"Jey jumped at the chance to bunk with you and Damian, and then Rhea volunteered as well. Jimmy, Roman, and I drew straws, and the shortest one had to bunk in your bed with everyone."
You giggle. "Poor Jimmy."
Solo grins. "He wasn't too mad about it though. He got to slip between you and Rhea."
"But Jey was quick to drag you all the way to the wall to keep Jimmy away from you," Roman muses.
You chuckle, reaching up to rub at your temple as you close your eyes. "Shit, guys. I just met you last night and already I made a terrible first impression."
"Nah, you're good," Roman assures you. "You don't know how bad we needed last night. It's been a while since we were able to unwind and last night was-"
"Exactly what we needed," Solo finishes.
"And besides, it's not everyday we meet a fan that's able to still be normal around us."
You freeze. "Why do you say I'm a fan?"
Roman slowly grins. "Well besides the fact that you have family in the biz, you also spent some time last night doing Ripley's entrance alongside her."
"Oh my god."
"Instagram," Solo says. "Don't check it."
"I hate you guys."
The two men chuckle and your stomach grumbling puts you in motion to make something to eat. Roman helps, pulling out some frozen hash that's in the freezer. He gets that going just as you throw some sausage links into another pan, and then Solo takes over making a huge pan of eggs.
Just as you're setting a plate of toast onto the table, Jimmy comes down. He doesn't say anything, but does grab himself a plate and load it up.
The four of you are quiet as you eat, exhaustion still lingering in everyone.
It isn't until Solo takes it upon himself to clear the table do you realize Jimmy and Roman are staring at you. You squint your eyes at them, then at Solo when he reclaims his seat. "What-"
"What are your intentions with Jey?" Jimmy asks.
You snort, grinning. "What?" Roman chuckles and you glance between the three Samoans. "Is this- is this a shovel talk?"
Jimmy shrugs. "It's not every day that Jey shows genuine interest in someone. We just wanna know where you stand."
Upon realizing just how serious these three are, your smile slowly fades. "I like him. I do," you admit. "It's very rare I connect with someone like I did with Jey…" You trail off.
"But-" Jimmy urges.
"But I literally met him like a day and a half ago! And besides, Jey's life is on the road," you tell them. "Being flirty and affectionate is all that I'm able to give him because if I give more…" You sigh sadly. "If I give more, it's inevitable that feelings will develop on my end, and I won't do that to myself." You pause, letting your words sink in. Your gaze falls to the table and your voice lowers. "As cheesy as it sounds, Jey is my definition of right guy, wrong time."
An arm is slung around your shoulders and then you're pulled into Jimmy's side. "Look at this way, sis. If your unc gets you in, you'll be traveling on the road with us and you can be disgustingly cute with my brother all you want."
"Shut up." You nudge him with your elbow. "Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I need to sweat out all this alcohol in my system. I'll be in my baby gym while you do whatever you guys wanna do."
Roman starts to stand. "We need to get to the arena and train. Is it cool if we come back later?"
"That's fine. Like I told everyone else, I'm not working until next week. My house is your house."
"Thank you."
As Roman and Jimmy head off to the bathrooms before leaving, Solo surprises you by lingering behind. You smile at him, letting him say whatever's on his mind.
"For what it's worth, I really hope your uncle's serious about getting you into the business. I think my brother really likes you."
"Aw, Solo," you coo. He shakes his head in amusement as you lean in to hug him. "Outside of the ring, you're a good guy. But inside the ring, I'm sad to say that Roman is still my Tribal Chief."
Solo barks out a laugh. As he pulls out of the hug, he asks, "What are you doing Friday night?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"Roman and I are gonna have a face to face in the ring. You think you can crack his facade if I get you ringside?"
"Solo," you slowly smirk, "it'll be my genuine pleasure."
End Note: Alright, this was bad. I admit that. But I'm slightly obsessed with these characters. Why are they so handsome?
Spanish translations: Prima/Primo - Cousin. Mi amor - My love. Pendenja - Stupid girl. Estúpida - feminine version for stupid. Hermosa - Beautiful.
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meangirls-imagines · 8 months ago
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Best Friends?
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Description: Leighton and Reader have been best friends since forever and both fall in love with each other. Tension rises when Leighton gets back with Alicia and Reader finally reaches the breaking point.
WARNINGS: ANGST like a mf.
leighton didn't know what to do.
her best friend was ignoring her. y/n hadn't talked to her in three days. and leighton was absolutely clueless. 
she had tried to reach out to y/n's roommates to figure out why she wasn't talking to her but none of them could tell her either. the blonde was picking her brain for everything she might have forgotten. 
birthday? nope.
friendiversary? nope.
she couldn't think of anything. she had even talked to alicia about it and her girlfriend just shook it off to y/n going through something. alicia reassured her that she would be fine and offered to take her girlfriend out for the weekend to cheer her up. as much as leighton didn't wanna leave, maybe this is what she needed. so, her and alicia packed a couple of bags and drove to new york for the weekend.
back at essex, y/n was in the weight room. it was well past midnight but y/n's thoughts were racing. she kept curling the barbell in her hand. 
all she could think about was leighton. 
how she smiled when y/n made a bad joke. 
how she cuddled up to y/n when it was their weekly movie night.
how she always gave y/n the first cookies when they baked together.
y/n usually wouldn't be thinking this hard about the blonde but something made her feelings go all over the place. 
or, more like someone.
alicia.
it wasn't that y/n didn't like alicia. it's more like alicia didn't like y/n. the girl didn't like y/n the first time her and leighton dated and she doesn't like her even more now that they are out. she never shows her disdain for y/n around leighton though. she doesn't want the blonde to know. 
y/n began to run on the treadmill when a text came through on her airpods.
from bestest friend in the whole world: hey, we haven't talked in a minute. i just wanna check in on you. you're worrying me. alicia took me to new york so if i don't hear from you by the time i come back, i'm hunting you down.
from bestest friend in the whole world: i just saw your location...why are you at the gym this late? you only do this when you're really going through something.
from bestest friend in the whole world: do you wanna facetime and talk? alicia is asleep but we can stay quiet.
y/n got tired of the messages and turned her phone off. 
so much for a peaceful workout.
that became y/n's routine for the weekend. sleep most of the day, workout most of the night.
she received multiple texts and calls from leighton but they all went ignored. luckily for y/n, when monday came around, leighton couldn't come kill her due to her being busy. she managed to hold out until thursday, a whole week since she had talked to the blonde last. 
leighton was a storm that was just waiting to unleash her power. y/n still hadn't talked to her and of it wasn't for alicia taking her on a date every night this week, y/n would've already faced the wrath. 
y/n was in her dorm watching youtube, doing her homework when there was a loud knock on the door. groaning, she got up and out of her room, fully expecting one of her roommates to be on the other side.
boy, was she wrong.
leighton stood on the other side, angrier than y/n had ever seen her. the girl gulped audibly as the blonde pushed her way into the room. "oh, sure, invite yourself in why don't you?" the blonde turned her death glare back to y/n. "yeah, it's the least i can do after my best friend practically ghosted me for no reason for a week!" 
y/n rolled her eyes and went to go back to her room when leighton stopped her. "what is wrong with you this week? you haven't talked to me, you've actively avoided me, and whitney told me that you seemed tired in practice all week. care to explain yourself?" y/n sighed. "no, i don't care to explain myself leighton. wasn't aware you had gone low enough to get your roommate to spy on me."
leighton scoffed. "can you blame me? now, i'm calling for a mandatory sleepover so i can pick that brain of yours and figure out what's going on." y/n shook her head. "don't you have a girlfriend to attend to?" leighton looked at y/n confused. "no, she's at the center tonight doing slam poetry. why would i have to attend to her?" 
y/n shrugged. "i don't know, just seems like you guys are attached to the hip and she refuses to let you do anything on your own." leighton's jaw dropped at y/n's words. did y/n always feel this way? had leighton been a bad friend?
"what do you mean? are you jealous of our relationship? i told you i could hook you up with someone, y/n. why didn't you tell me?" y/n avoided the question. "leighton, i have a ton of homework to do. go back to your dorm." leighton shook her head. "no, we need to talk this out. are you jealous of me and alicia?" after a few minutes of back and forth, y/n finally snapped.
"you know what leighton? yeah, i am jealous. i'm jealous that alicia is the one who gets to hold your hand in public. i'm jealous that alicia gets to take you on dates. i'm jealous that she gets that smile of yours that you used to only reserve for me." leighton stood shocked but y/n kept going.
"i'm jealous she gets to kiss you and sweep you off your feet and treat you like the princess you are. but most of all, i'm jealous that she had the courage to ask you out before i did." y/n had tears streaming down her face, as did leighton. the blonde's voice cracked as she tried to walk towards y/n. "y/n..i-i had no idea. i-" 
y/n held her hand up. "just go leighton. i can't do this right now." and with that, she turned, walking into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her, leaving a crying leighton in the common room.
the blonde grabbed her purse and went back to her dorm.
both girls cried themselves to sleep that night. y/n because she thought she ruined her friendship with leighton. 
leighton because she finally realized she was in love with y/n.
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btsgotjams27 · 1 year ago
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things you don't know | jjk
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summary: it’s been seven years since you last saw the boy that broke your heart. after moving back home, you try everything you can to avoid seeing him around town, but destiny has a wicked way of doing the opposite.
✨ title: things you don't know | one shot ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: M/17+ ✨ genre/au: angst | ex best friends!au | ✨ word count: 4.3k ✨ warnings: language, drinking, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up ✨ prompt: “i thought i’d never see you again” ✨ a/n: heyoooo. so this is loosely based off a friendship i had in high school and in case you're wondering (irl) i haven't seen this man in over 17 years (oh gawd i'm old). anyway, thank you to @shina913 for being my beta.
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✨ mini-series masterlist ✨
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You were a fool to believe nothing could tear you and your best friend apart. Just like in the movies you'd watch for hours, you realized you were not the main character; he was. You were only part of the supporting cast, the best friend–not the one he wanted. Someone else had been occupying his mind, his thoughts, and you guessed you weren't privy to know all of him.
You wondered if you became the villain in his story. Were you the other woman? How could you have known if he never told you? He was your best friend. The one you shared everything with–your hopes, dreams, and even the dumbest little details of your life.
And maybe you expected too much. Maybe you had built a world of sunshine and rainbows and believed no storms could ever weather through. Maybe you cared too much, thinking he felt the same.
But at long last, you had become the girl jealous of Josie–the person who took away your best friend.
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The city you lived in had grown vastly the last time you were here. Multiple lanes were added to the highways, and fields of land were cleared out for new homes, shops, and restaurants to try. Though the only thing on your mind was not bumping into him.
His was the only face you didn't want to run into in a city that felt familiar and unfamiliar. It felt silly. You're a grown woman with a car and an apartment–had bills to pay, and running into one person shouldn't haunt you as it did.
You might have done some detective work, going through old high school friends lists on Facebook and Instagram, lurking to see if he would show up. But as you suspected, he didn't exist on social media, so your chances of seeing him increased in your weird little mind.
The old hangout places were on your no-go list. Remember, you're trying to avoid him. He has not been on your mind every waking second, minute and hour. You weren't wondering how he was doing or if he was okay. He didn't deserve to occupy your mind, take all your energy.
But if you were to bump into him, you had a monologue ready to tell him how he had fucked up your mind, spiked all your insecurities, and hoped he and his stupid little girlfriend lived unhappily ever after. He deserved that, at least.
"Did you see Lillie's Instagram post? The one where a bunch of them were out celebrating Josie's birthday?" Lana asked, sipping on her iced vanilla latte. Lana was another high school best friend who didn't stomp all over your heart.
And regarding Lillie's post, it was hard not to see it when everyone you knew was tagged. Some things never change, you guessed. The same circle of friends, the same drama, the same gossip, but then again, you were sitting with one of your oldest friends.
"Yeah, I saw it."
And you also noticed how Jungkook wasn't in any photos. After doing your detective research and scouring through the internet. He was a ghost, not even showing up in tagged photos. You were hoping to get a glimpse of him in the background, but you hadn't seen a picture of him in years, so you had no idea if he had grown into that big 'ol nose of his or if he had gotten those piercings and tattoos he's always wanted. There was no trace of this man, not even in Josie's pictures.
Last you heard, they were still together, and you always rolled your eyes hard, remembering what Jeon Jungkook did to you. Didn't even have the fucking balls to say it to your face, but in a letter instead.
You suspected it was all Josie's fault. Probably afraid you'd steal him away, or he'd prefer to hang out with you. And you understood, he wasn't your boyfriend or anything, just a friend. Ex-best friend, that is. So you supposed any girl that did like Jungkook would be intimidated by your friendship.
"Have you seen Jungkook at all?"
Lana knew what went down–dropping you like a fly, like you didn't exist. She had teased you like a madwoman because you were crushing hard on his friend, Jimin, and somehow ended up befriending Jungkook.
"Nope," you said flatly.
"So, you know how we always talk about Jungkook being untraceable? I think I found him," she said, pulling out her phone.
Your jaw clenched before huffing out a breath. Lana liked to poke the bear when it came to Jungkook. You knew it wasn't intentional, and there was a part that held onto those painful memories because you weren't over what he did to you. Countless nights of questions and if you could've done anything to save your friendship. Wondering what you did wrong and why he picked Josie instead of you. You thought he had feelings and just didn’t want to act on it.
Lana slid the phone over, her two fingers zooming in on a brightened photo. "It's definitely Jungkook," she pointed to a figure in the background.
You narrowed your eyes as she moved the photo around. Your heart skipped a beat. You'd recognize that nose anywhere. It was him. He wasn't a ghost. There was actual evidence that he existed.
"I searched for more photos, but nothing else came up."
You chuckled. "Of course not. Jeon Jungkook doesn't exist on social media. It was never his thing anyway. It was always Josie who liked the attention."
"As a couple, they make no sense to me. What does he see in her anyway?" Lana pondered, sucking up the last of her latte.
Josie was popular and pretty and did every extracurricular activity known to man. Jungkook was quite the opposite: introverted, kept to himself, played games day and night, yet somehow they still ended up together.
"I don't know. Maybe she has a great personality or something," you answered.
She had everything and could’ve had anyone in the senior class, and something always bothered you about their relationship. You just couldn’t put your finger on it.
Lana could see your despair and decided to change the subject. "What are you doing tonight? Jimin is having a small party and was super excited when I told him you moved back."
You narrowed your eyes, your lips thinned. "What are we? In high school again?"
"Come on, babe. It'll be just like old times. I'll even pick you up. I know you hate driving."
It's only been a week since you've moved back. You didn't even know where all of your cute clothes were. "I have nothing to wear." It was the best excuse you could come up with at the moment.
"I got you. Don't worry about it!"
Fuck—you should've opted for a different excuse.
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"I thought you said this was a small party," you said, wearing a dress that was barely covering your ass. You'd get Lana back for putting you in the tightest dress.
"Trust me, this is small." Lana hooked her arm with yours, dragging you to the kitchen, where Jimin poured several soju bottles and sodas into a pitcher. It was quite the concoction.
“How can he afford this place?” you whispered as you stared at the fancy marbled island and large commercial refrigerator.
Lana shrugged. “I don’t think he lives by himself. Probably has roommates or something.”
"Ladies! You're here!" Jimin squealed, setting down the soju bottle. He hugged Lana before greeting you warmly. "Oh—it's so good to see you!" He wrapped his arms around you, moving you from side to side, digging his chin into your shoulder.
"It's good to see you too, Jimin. You're, um, still quite the host." His parties were all the rage in high school, and now that you look back, you're unsure what you saw in Jimin. He was a good guy, a great dancer, but he partied too much for your taste. Maybe you were shallow and just liked him for his looks.
"I have a reputation to uphold." He wiggled his eyebrows, handing you a shot glass. "I call this little drink 'Soju Sunrise.'" He held his glass, waiting for you to clink it against his.
"Here goes nothing." The glasses clack together, and the mixed liquids go down your throat as smooth as silk. Surprisingly, the cocktail is rather tasty, and you hold out your glass for another round.
"Yes! That's my girl!"
After multiple rounds of Jimin's Soju Sunrise, your body loosened up along with your tongue, being quite the chatterbox to everyone hanging around. The alcohol coursing through your veins made catching up with old friends less dull. Though you wish you could've had a sign plastered to you stating your job, why you were back, and what you've been up to. It would've made your life simpler.
As you exited the bathroom, Lana immediately pulled you into an empty bedroom, closing the door behind her.
"What the fuck, Lana?"
"He's here!" she exclaimed out of breath.
"Who?" Confusion sets on your face.
“He-who-must-not-be-named!”
"Voldemort?" You raised a brow, pouting your lips together.
She struck your head. You scowled, rubbing the spot. Still confused, you think back to the crowded room.
A lightbulb finally goes off. You blame the Soju Sunrise for making you an airhead. "You've got to be kidding me."
"She's here too."
Oh, how you'd rather be clawing your eyes out right now. It would hurt less than facing Jungkook and Josie after all these years.
You had your little monologue prepared and ready to go, but you didn't think you'd have to recite it. Did you even remember what you wanted to say?
You looked around the room and sprinted when you saw a window. Your hands fumbled with the lock, but it was too hard to open.
"What are you doing?" Lana asked, her eyebrows knitted together, watching you struggle.
"I'm gonna climb out the window." It was the only sensible thing to do.
"You're so fucking dramatic."
"It's the only way to avoid them."
Lana grabbed your arms and made you look at her. "You are a grown-ass woman. Put on your big girl panties and walk out that door with your head held high."
"But I don't wanna," you pout. "And I'm wearing granny panties." You lowered your head, staring at your dress, picturing the blush-colored panties with a little bow on the front.
"Granny panties with this dress?"
"What? I couldn't find other ones and I like full coverage." Curse you for not unpacking like you should've been doing.
"Would've been better if you went commando."
"Lana! I have some dignity."
"Do you, though? You won't even leave this room and face the one person who broke your heart."
"Thanks, Lana," you said flatly.
"You're welcome!" she smiled, shaking your body. "Come on. You can do this. I believe in you." You rolled your eyes, staring blankly at her. She scanned you from head to toe, then back up to your chest. "Sweetie, we gotta make sure your tits are stunning." She dragged down the top of the dress, ensuring the swells of your breasts were peeking through.
"Lana, I'm not trying to seduce the guy." Okay—maybe you developed a crush on him, but it's not like you were going to make a move, he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake.
"Yeah, who cares? We're trying to make Josie jealous."
"This is so high school," you comment, digging through your purse for your lipstick.
"Your point is?" Lana blinked.
You huffed. Okay—fine. If this were the only time you'd see Jeon Jungkook and Kim Josie, then fuck it. You could pretend everything was great for five minutes. Your hand went underneath your dress, tugging off your granny panties and tossing them on the ground.
"Holy shit—going commando too?" Lana squealed and clapped excitedly.
Hiking your dress up just a smidge, you were ready to smile and lie through whatever this dreaded conversation would bring up, probably old feelings of hurt and regret.
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You hooked your arm through Lana's, with your shoulders back and head held high. This was it. After all this time, you would face the son-of-a-bitch who broke your heart and the cruel witch who took him away.
You had class—at least, you hoped you did. So, you'd play it cool, be calm and collected. Pretend like you had your shit together.
That is until you turned the corner and immediately spotted them snuggled up in the corner. Josie looked like a lovesick puppy all over him. Jungkook, not so much.
You clutched Lana's arm tighter and came to a halt. You repeated your short monologue in your brain from the bedroom to the living room, but it was as if your mind had wiped everything and your brain's connectors were short-circuiting.
Your eyes glistened as you watched the two. Josie sat on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him. Your lower lip quivered, and your stomach sank. You weren't sure if you needed to hurl because of them or because of the soju. Perhaps both.
Jungkook pulled away from her grasp, seemingly annoyed by her show of affection. As soon as he turned away from her, his eyes landed on you.
You flashed a small smile and a wave of your hand. Who knew seeing Jungkook would make you feel the complete opposite of the narrative you had created? In your head, he was a heartless best friend who left you for a wicked witch, but here he was in the flesh and was just that big-nosed, doe-eyed boy whom you shared everything with. You missed him so much and wanted to catch up on life like no time had passed.
Lana turned to you. "Hey, what happened to the bad bitch persona? Aren't you gonna tell him off?"
"I'm so stupid, Lana. I can't do this." So much anger had been building up within the last seven years, but underneath that anger was just a girl who was heartbroken.
Lana nudged you in the ribs. You two watched as he pushed Josie off his lap, causing her to frown. You attempted to let go, but she pulled you in as Jungkook beelined toward you.
"Oh, my god! Jeon Jungkook in the flesh?" Lana said in a dramatic tone. "You do exist! I can't believe it. Well, I'm going to find myself another drink! Have fun catching up with your bestie!" She punched Jungkook's shoulder hard, and he scowled and flinched, massaging the spot.
You pressed your lips together, unsure what to say to him. It's been seven years since you last saw him. Once you graduated from high school, you were out of each other's hair. You were off to college a few hours away, and he stayed in town to attend a local university.
Jungkook cut off all forms of communication. It was like your friendship ceased to exist, which hurt you the most. The last thing you received from him was a measly little letter explaining that he was with Josie and that she didn't want you coming in between their relationship.
You couldn't understand why Jungkook couldn't just talk to you. Josie was never mentioned in conversations, nor did you see him with her, so it felt out of left field. If Jungkook told you he liked someone, you'd never stand in the way of his happiness. You thought he knew you better than that, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you didn't know each other at all.
"I thought I'd never see you again," Jungkook said, the corners of his mouth curving into a warm smile.
You only paid attention to the glow-up Jungkook had. He did get the lip piercings he wanted, along with the tattoos. You could see them peeking through underneath his gray hoodie hanging off his shoulder. The white tank top defined his taut chest, letting you know he liked to work out. His damp hair curled in all the right places against the nape of his neck and his forehead. The silver chain adorning his neck looked pretty enough to tug on.
"You look great, by the way," Jungkook added, breaking you out of your daze.
"Oh, thanks. So do you." You manage to squeak out finally; then you remember how provocative you looked in your dress compared to sweet, innocent, looking Josie in her pink floral sundress, who was making their way toward you.
"Jungkook, can we please get a drink?" Josie whined, giving you the once over before latching onto Jungkook like the leech she was.
"You remember—"
Josie interrupted, "Yeah–don't remind me. Can we go?"
Josie stormed off toward the kitchen, leaving you and Jungkook behind. Did he have any say in their relationship, or did she tug him around like a puppy on a short leash?
You're stunned but not surprised by her remark. Once a bitch, always a bitch.
Turning your attention back to him, you realize you have nothing to say. The scars from this friendship were carved deeply into your heart; not even the monologue you rehearsed could dissipate the pain he caused.
"I—I gotta go," you said, taking off toward the bedroom because you couldn't fucking leave your underwear on a random stranger's floor. You had to save whatever dignity you had left.
"Wait—" He tried to grab your attention and followed you, walking through the hallway toward a room. He watched you go from one end of the room to the other, searching for something. "What are you doing in my room?"
You straighten your posture, slowly turning to him. "This is your room?"
"Yeah, Jimin and I share this place along with another friend.”
Oh, now you were going to fucking kill Lana. She knew. She must have! That's why she wanted to bring you here. And out of all the rooms, you had to pick Jeon Jungkook’s to leave your underwear in?
"Great," you said in exasperation. You turned back around in search of your panties. "Where the fuck is it?" It could only be in so many places.
"Where's what?"
You got down on your hands and knees, tugging your dress down, looking underneath the bed for your granny panties. "Nothing," you grumbled. "Fuck it. Forget it." You stood, walking past Jungkook. He could have your underwear as a keepsake, you suppose.
"Hey—" He gripped your arm. "Come on. This is how you greet me after all this time?"
You scoffed, glaring at him. "You're fucking kidding me, right? You're lucky I'm even speaking to you. You don't even deserve that."
He lets go of your arm. "We kind of ended on a sour note, but it wasn't my fault."
He couldn't see it, but smoke was fuming from your ears, and you wished your death glare could burn through him and maybe even through Josie. How fucking dare he put all the blame on you? And for what exactly? You might add that you did nothing but be his friend, and he ghosted you like you meant nothing to him.
"So it's my fault?" You assumed he was placing the blame on you. "How is it my fault? Please enlighten me, Jungkook."
He quieted down, cowering his head.
"You showed up holding hands with Josie, then proceeded to not talk to me like a human being and instead wrote me a fucking letter like the coward you are. A letter, for fucks sake. You could've had the common decency to say it to my face."
You walked out of language class, and there they were, hand in hand as you idly watched from behind. And he didn’t even hand you the letter. He had stuffed it in your locker.
Your words took him aback. His recount of how everything went down was different from yours. "I'm sorry," he said. His eyes flicked to yours before looking away.
"Well, it's too fucking late for apologies."
Jungkook called out to you, and you didn't look back, storming away from him. You passed by Lana, telling her you were leaving and that you'd talk to her later.
You ran out the front door, stopping at the sidewalk's edge, remembering that Lana drove. "Fuck," you grumbled, pulling out your phone to grab an Uber.
You were stupid to think Jeon Jungkook wouldn't affect you after all these years. Maybe it's because you haven't dealt with feeling abandoned by him. Maybe you wished you did more for your friendship. Whatever the reason, you knew moving back wasn't a good idea because you’d have to deal with this.
"Hey!" Jungkook called out. You looked over your shoulder and continued walking. He ran in front of you to grab your attention. "Can you talk to me?" he asked, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.
"Why don't you fucking write me a letter? Since you're so good at that," you mocked as you shuffled around him. He was a shitty writer who could barely pass Creative Writing without your help.
"That's not fair."
You scoffed, stopping in your tracks to turn back to him. "Run back to your little girlfriend. Don’t you have to get her approval first before talking to me?"
"She's not my girlfriend."
You tut. "Yeah–okay." That was hard to believe, considering she was all over him.
"She's not. We haven't been together for a while now," Jungkook explained.
"You looked pretty cozy earlier."
Jungkook looks at the ground, kicking around an invisible rock. "It's complicated."
"That's great, Jungkook, but I really don't want to hear about your relationship problems. Good luck with Josie and in life. You two deserve each other." You pulled out your phone to see if the Uber was arriving.
Crossing your arms, you walked back toward Jimin's place. You wish you pinned the pick-up location somewhere else, but you'd have to endure his presence longer.
Jungkook followed, giving you some space, stopping when you did. His eyes raked over you. His dimple appeared and disappeared as he licked his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek.
"When you got your acceptance letter to college, and you decided you were leaving, you didn't bother to ask about what I thought," he said, hands still in his pocket, staring at the ground. Your eyes flickered to him before looking away. He softly chuckled, "I thought to myself, what would I do without my best friend? I had nothing going for me, didn't even know what I wanted to do—still don't know what I want to do. And as much as you make me out to be the bad guy in your story, there are a lot of things you don't know."
You turned away from him as your eyes began to well up. You didn't want to cry before him, rehashing things from so long ago. You let out a shaky breath, trying to contain your emotions.
"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked, using the back of your hand to wipe away the snot threatening to fall.
He shrugged. "I don't know. I would never want to keep you from something that made you happy," he admitted.
You were always open with each other, so you're unsure why this one thing made it seem like he couldn't be honest with you.
"Tell me one thing."
Jungkook hummed.
"Why didn't you tell me about Josie?" It was the one question that lingered since you received his letter.
His lips thinned. "Honestly?" You nodded. "It all happened so quickly. Jimin was throwing a party that night when you told me about going off to college, and I was in my head, overthinking everything. And Josie was there, being sweet and comforting me, and I don't know what came over me. I just kissed her to make myself feel better. Then, the next day at school, she took my hand and told everyone we were together."
"So, let me get this straight? I told you I'm going off to college. You get upset, kiss Josie because you were mad about me leaving, and then end up in a relationship with her?"
"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous."
You turned to him, hitting him across the chest several times. He held his hands up to block you. "Because Jeon Jungkook, it is ridiculous! God–you're such—a—" you groaned. "Do you know how much you hurt me? We could've avoided all this if you had just talked to me. Life could've been different for us. You could've come with me, and then we could've been together."
"Together?" He stared at you with his starry brown eyes.
"Yes, you dummy! I liked you, if you couldn't tell. I was going to tell you, but then you and Josie happened, and well, you know how the rest of the story goes."
You closed your eyes and let out a long-awaited breath. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, getting all this out in the open. You weren't expecting Jungkook to do anything to make you feel better, but at least he could hear what you wanted to say after all these years.
Your uber pulled up and you opened the door, holding onto it as you looked at Jungkook. A glimpse of the boy you once knew still lingered in his eyes. If you could go back and do it all over again, you would've fought harder for him, fought for what the two of you had. It was too precious of a friendship to let go just like that. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.
There were no forms of time travel or alternate dimensions where the two of you could've lived happily ever after, and there were only the choices you made here and now.
"Bye, Jungkook."
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✨ read part two | read part three ✨
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heartshapedcigaretteburns · 9 months ago
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(RAHRWAHRAHAHAHWAHRAWR 😩‼️)
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Childhood Bsf Soap! Who hates leaving you even before you start dating. He worries about you 24/7 while he's on a mission even if he knows you can take care of yourself.
Childhood Bsf Soap! Who can't help but feel like you're already family. You're at his parents house every holiday get together and you're friends with all his cousins and siblings. You're his plus one to every wedding. It'd be so easy for you to take his last name.
Childhood Bsf Soap! Who convinces you to move in with him. He says it's cost efficient but really it's because he can't stand being away from you more than he has to. He loves coming home to you just lounging or cooking bc it makes him feel like you're his little wife waiting for him to come home ☹️ he just wants someone to hold him when it's over. It also doesn't hurt that he gets to see you prance around with wet hair in just a t shirt (no bra 😏) and panties bc you hate the feelings of pants on your freshly moisturized legs.
This doesn't help the problem Childhood Bsf Soap! has of talking about you to his team like you've been married to him for years. Calls you his lass, the missus, his lady. "Can't make it to the bar tonight, the missus has been looking forward to this new movie so I'm gonna take my lass to see it." The first time he complained about your new partner his teammates were stunned bc this whole time they thought you were his gf/wife. Soap likes the idea of people assuming you 2 are a couple.
Childhood Bsf Soap! Who has never liked any of your past partners and always made it very well known bc this boy can't hide his emotions. If he has to be around the person you're talking to romantically he's constantly like this 😡 in the corner literally POUTING. He'll even go as far as trying to convince you to break up with them for something. "They didn't even know your favorite childhood cartoon! They obviously don't care about getting to know you on a deeper level maybe you should end it now 😁"
Childhood Bsf Soap! Who already knows your relationship preferences and love languages. When he finally decides he's had enough of the just friends thing he takes full advantage of the years he's spent listening to you rant about love and ramble about your dream partner. All of the sudden he's hitting you with all the aspects you want in a partner and it's not an opportunity any sane person could pass up.
Childhood Bsf Soap! Who traps you in the bedroom the night before a mission. He got the call just after lunch and you haven't left the bed since. Hours later, his head is on your chest and you're lazily stroking his mohawk and watching some cooking show on the tv. He stays buried in you all night even after he goes soft just to be as close to you as possible before he has to leave. He's praying he's allowed to come back to you again this time.
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Umh 2nd ever time doing something like this 😬not as proud of this one bc I don't read much about Soap personally but I figured I started with Gaz so I might as well do another underated one. Soap needs some love too fr 💕 I really don't know what I'm doing y'all 😔😭
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catssluvr · 2 months ago
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𝓰𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓸𝓾𝓼 (2), emily prentiss
pt1 (but this can be read alone if you’d like!!)
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emily prentiss x fem!reader
three times you knew you loved eachother and the one time you told her
warnings: injuries, r bites her lips, crying, kissing and a tiny tiny bit suggestive, but overall fluff <3
·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛
The leaves crunch under Emily's boots as she walks through the park, a nice breeze brushing her face. Her eyes scan the grass extension, searching for you with an excited smile on her lips.
Just as she used to look forward to the nights in which she would share a muffin with you at the coffee shop, she now looks forward to your dates. She's sure that asking you out was probably one the best things she's ever done. She already knew you were going to be perfect (as always), but you seem to be breaking the scale even more everyday. She's also almost completely sure you feel the same way, you wouldn't be about to have your 5th date if it wasn't reciprocate.
Emily feels almost bewitched. She loves the way you text her every morning and night, the way you always write something cute on her cup of coffee before handing it to her (she has no idea how you haven't run out of things to write yet), the way you never make her feel guilty for having to cancel a date because of her job, and most of all she loves the way you can make her forget about everything that's bad when she's with you.
She finally spots you, sitting down on a picnic towel with a small basket beside you. You're dressed in a dark blue sweater that looks most definitely like it's inviting her for a hug, blue jeans and your sneakers are discarded besides the towel. She thinks you look more than gorgeous.
"Ems, hi!" You finally notice her when she approaches, sweet smile plastered on your face.
"Hey." She waves lightly before you're getting up, arms engulfing her in a bear hug like you had a read her thoughts just a moment ago.
The conversation quickly starts flowing between you as she insists that you tell her all about what happened since your last date. You comply easily, telling her full details about the movie you watched a week ago and something about a really rude client at the shop.
A familiar comfortable silence falls over you, hands intertwined and occasional glances towards eachother.
"Oh- i almost forgot. I bought you some muffins with that frosting you love!" Your face brightens and you reach for the tiny basket, pulling out the sweet cakes.
"You didn't have to- thank you." She couldn't help but find herself in a loss of words. You were way too sweet to her, ever since the day she met you.
Her hands reaches out for the muffin in your hands before binging it to her lips, a pleased hum leaving her mouth when she takes the first bite.
"It's really good." Emily confirms, not noticing the frosting smudged on the corner of her mouth.
With a silent chuckle, you pull yourself closer. "Here." Your thumb reaches for her lips, wiping the frosting there.
She swears you can probably hear her heart beating right now. It isn't news to her that you are usually very straight forward, but until now the most the has happened is a few kisses on the corner of her lips and hands lingering on her waist after a hug way more than they normally would - and she definitely doesn't complain.
The proximity makes her nervous, a good nervous. The butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the breath catching in her throat. Maybe the sweaty hands aren't as nice, but Emily thinks it's worth it.
She now realizes there is no way she can wait one more second to finally know if your lips are as soft as they look. Her finger catch your wrist as you start retiring it from her lips, kissing the pads of your finger as a silent thank you. Maroon spreads from your neck to your cheeks, shocked by the sudden boldness.
Taking advantage of your rare shyness, Emily reaches to take your face in her hands. Lips touching yours tentatively before you finally take hold of her waist, returning her kiss quickly.
It's gentle, sweet. She doesn't have either of those a lot in her life. You ground her, make her understand she also deserves it. And she doesn't intend to let go of you anytime soon.
It feels strange to feel so attached to someone after a few dates, or maybe the months of pining over you helped creating this feeling. She never believed in feeling something so strong for someone, feeling like you're sweeping her off her feet just by looking at her.
But she knows it's real now. She knows it because you're real. Because she loves you.
·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛
You bury your head deeper into the pillow, trying to escape the sunlight peeking through the window. Your frown momentarily disappears as you reach for her side of the bed but it soon returns when you feel it completely empty.
Emily enters the room not long after, dressed in only a white button up and underwear and you take a moment to admire her as she walks around the room getting ready. It feels good to know she's finally letting her guard down completely when with you, not afraid to flirt back and be comfortable. Her eyes land on you when you stretch your arms and a smile creeps over her face.
"Hey sleepyhead, sleep well?" She asks, fingers working on putting on the small gold earrings.
"Morning." You mumble groggily, rubbing your eyes and sitting up with your back against the headboard. "Why didn't you wake me? I'll walk out with you."
"You can just hang here, i'll probably be back by dinner time." Your heart warms at her request, the domesticity of it feels more than welcoming. But you can't help but feel like you might be intruding.
"Nonsense, i don't wanna take over your house while you're not here." You say, hands working on taming your bed hair.
"I want you to stay." She reassures, approaching your side of the bed. Taking the opportunity, you pull her to straddle you, giggling when she lets out a surprised gasp.
"Giving me a lot of girlfriend treatment lately, uh?" You tease, hands resting comfortably at her waist.
"Well- what if i wanted you to be...?" Her voice was nervous. Eyes anywhere but your face and fingers messing with your sleep shirt.
"Agent Prentiss, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" One of your hands slide to hold her chin, directing her gaze to yours.
"Would you say yes if i were?" She asks tentatively.
"It would definitively be some way to wake up." Your smile brightens when she rolls her eyes jokingly.
"Baby." Her tone is stern but her smile breaks the facade rather quickly.
"I'd say yes, Em." You confirm, not that it was ever a doubt. You've been meaning to ask her that yourself but it seems she was quicker to do it
"Then i'm definitely asking." Her confidence returns, hands sliding up to your neck and gently holding your face.
"Asking me what?" You feign ignorance but your gaze slides between her eyes and lips.
"Be my girlfriend?" She finally asks, face way closer to yours than a moment ago, the tension building up by the second.
"Yes." You all but manage to breath out before her lips crash into yours. Her arms wrap around your shoulders to pull you closer, torso practically glued to yours.
Your fingers slide inside her button up, massaging the soft skin. You nip at her lip and before your hands can slide lower, she pulls away.
"I really gotta get ready." Emily whispers, nose rubbing against your cheek.
"You're no fun, Ems." You fake pout and she quickly kisses it away.
"M'sorry."
"Do i get extra girlfriend treatment tonight if i make you some breakfast?" You question as she lifts herself from your lap.
"For sure." The raven haired smirks, pinching your thigh gently before disappearing into the closet. You chuckle to yourself, hands smoothing down your sleep shirt when you stand up.
Your mind feels hazy, still coming down to the fact Emily is now officially your girlfriend. This is different than anything you've ever had with anyone. It feels different. You love her, you're sure of it.
"Hey, Em?" You call as you're about to head to the kitchen.
"Yes, baby?" She reappears from the closet, now completely dressed in a black suit, the white button up peaking from the inside of her blazer. That's enough to take your breath away.
You shake your head, "Nothing, you're just very pretty."
·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛
Emily takes a sip of the coffee in her hands, smiling briefly at the 'have a great day, pretty <3' note on it. Normally she would be grumpy just by looking at the gigantic mountain of files on her desk, but having been woken by you littering kisses all over her face was enough to make her morning happy.
Sighing, she returns to writing on the paper in front her. But her attention is cut short when the elevator dings, followed by you walking out of it.
Now that was definitely new, you haven't even met her friends, let alone visit her at work. She's not hiding you, that's a fact. You know her job is dangerous and you're also aware she's scared to get you involved with it. You don't mind waiting, not at all. She's made it clear you can meet them whenever you want, it just hasn't happened it.
You look around the bullpen, a small stack of files in your hands. You smile brightly when you see her, walking up to her while ignoring the heads that snap in your direction.
"Hey, Agent. Sorry for showing up without a warning, you left these at my place and i kept thinking they might be Important." Her heart flutters at your thoughtfulness.
"Thank you. You're an angel." She gets up from her chair, feeling the urge to at least great you properly. "And you can show up anytime." She adds, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze.
"This place seems nice. Feels homey- Well, as homey as it can be, you know." She knows what you mean, it's not necessarily the surroundings that make it a comfortable environment, it's the fact that people seem so comfortable with eachother. They're her family, in a way.
"Yeah, it does." She bites her lips trying to prevent the smile from escaping. She didn't imagine she'd be so happy with seeing you so comfortable with visiting her at the bau.
"Oh my god, is that her?" Penelope's not so low whispers pull you both out of your little bubble.
"Damn, Prentiss got some luck. That's my girl." Derek teases with a smile on his face.
Truth is all of her friends pretty much knew she was dating someone before she even questioned telling them. They claimed she looked happier, more smiley than usual - she'd probably turn into a stuttering mess if they ever told you that. Until one day Spencer pointed out the way her cup of coffee always had a sweet note in it, and the way she was arriving late at work more often. She eventually stopped denying it but was still quite secretive about you, it was endearing to see them try to find out more about her 'secret girlfriend'.
Stifling a chuckle, she looks over your shoulder to find both Garcia and Morgan shamelessly eying the both of you.
"Care to introduce us, Emily?" JJ appears with a smug smile, standing beside them.
Emily clears her throat nervously, "Yeah uh- meet my girlfriend, guys." Your hand touches her back in a comforting manner, smiling politely at them.
"It's so nice to meet you all, i've heard so much about you." You wave lightly and she notices your hopeful gaze. Meeting them all so suddenly was probably not on your mind today but you seemed just as excited as them.
"It's so nice to meet you! I'm Penelope and gosh- you're even more gorgeous than i imagined." The blonde woman hugs you sweetly and your smile immediately widens. Emily always knew you and Pen would get along easily, your bubbly personalities matching perfectly. But seeing it made her want to smile so hard that her cheeks hurt.
Hotch appears at the end of the staircase, "We need you all in the conference room in five." Before disappearing into his office again. But the slight smile he gives Emily doesn't go unnoticed by her. Relief washes over her at seeing the people she loves the most getting along.
They all grumble disappointedly from the introduction they all had been waiting for ages being cut so short. Bidding their goodbyes to you before leaving to the conference room.
"Well i won't distract you anymore." You turn back to her before adjusting her button up. "Is it too bad i want a goodbye kiss?"
"Nope." She smiles giddy before leaning in to place a quick peck on your lips.
"Okay now i'll actually leave. See you later, m'love." You walk to the elevator, smiling at her one last time before the doors close.
Emily finds herself looking at the closed elevator doors for a moment. She can't wait to get to tell you the three words begging to come out from the tip of her tongue.
·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛
You bite at your nails anxiously, tears threatening to spill from your eyes at any moment. The hospital corridors seem endless as you walk in a fast pace.
You had been sleeping peacefully when a call from Penelope abruptly woke you up. You knew it couldn't be anything good, feeling immediately awake as you answered the call. The words 'she's hurt' and 'hospital' being all you needed to hear before you were leaping out the door.
You look and feel like a mess. Hair unbrushed, sweatshirt and sweats crinkled and possibly mismatched sneakers - you don't care enough to check. Your breathing is uneven and your lips are probably swollen from biting on them so hard.
All you know is that Emily is somewhere in this building, laying on a hospital bed without you by her side. One broken rib, a blow in the head that luckily didn't cause a concussion and other smaller injuries like a split lip and a gash across her cheek. You hate that those are considered 'small' compared to the others.
You finally find Penelope standing by a coffee machine, practically running towards her.
"Where is she?" You don't mean to sound rude, but you feel desperate. You knew it would happen at some point, you knew she'd get injured. After all her job is dangerous. You just didn't think it would be before you even got to tell her.
"Hey, hey it's okay, sweetheart. She's okay, i called you cause i know she will feel better just by seeing that sweet face of yours." She tried to lighten the mood, only now you noticed the tears are freely streaming down your cheeks.
"Take me to her, please." She's going to be okay, so why do you feel like this? It's hard to say. You're aware of how you're exaggerating, it could be way worse - and maybe that's the reason.
Garcia looks at you worryingly but silently leads the way - you make note to thank her later.
As you're about to walk into the room, you make sure to take a deep breath and wipe the tears on your face. The last thing you want is for Emily to see you like this, she's already had enough of a bad day.
"Hi, baby." Her hoarse voice greets you the second you step in. The corners of her lips turn upwards into a tired smile.
"Hi." You breath out, relief washing over you at finally seeing her with your own eyes. She's okay. You're by her side in a flash, sitting on the chair right beside her bed. Hand grabbing hers and squeezing it tightly. "How?"
"Well i might have ended up exchanging a few punches with the unsubs- and i guess he was a bit stronger than i thought. But-" It was obvious she was trying to lighten the mood but it really only made you more distressed.
"You got in a fight with the unsub?" You practically yelp, eyes examining her bruised knuckles.
"I had to sweet girl. But i'm okay, yeah?" It feels wrong that she's the one comforting you when it should be otherwise. You bring her hand to your lips, kisses each of her knuckles multiple times.
"I know." You respond as convincingly as possible. "You're an idiot, Prentiss." It comes out way less humorous than you intend it to.
"Are you okay?" She asks with a frown, it really isn't usual for her to see you like this. You're usually bubbly and happy, taking any opportunity that's given to you to make one of your jokes. She worries you might have finally realized that it's not worth being with her if you're gonna have to be constantly worried if she even comes home in one piece. Little does she know.
"Yeah, it's just- i'm terrified, so terrified, of loosing you to this job. And i'm even more terrified to know i could've lost you today without even getting the chance to tell you that-" You stop yourself before you can utter the words you've been longing to say for months now. You always imagined that when you eventually said those words, you'd be somewhere at least a tad bit more romantic. And you definitively didn't imagine you'd be in the brick of tears.
"Tell me what?" Emily grips your hand and brings it to her chest, you can feel the gentle beating of her heart against it.
"That i love you, obviously." You say, now as calm as you can bring yourself to be. You want her to know you mean it. You do. This might not be the epitome of romance but it feels intimate - raw.
"Oh, angel. I love you." It's now her turn to feel relieved, her worries subsiding completely. Warmth spreads across her chest at the thought of you being so nervous to tell her. Of course she loves you. She loves you ever since she laid eyes on you at that coffee shop, ever since you brushed your finger against hers for the first time and mostly ever since she realized you were the only one able to make her smile even in her darkest days.
"Come here." She pats the space beside her in the bed and you're quick to join her. Careful not to touch any injurie, you bury yourself in her side. Head in her shoulder as you feel your eyes immediately grow heavier, the sense of comfort invading your senses.
"You better not scare me like this again, Agent." You finally tease and she can't help but chuckle.
"I'll always come back to you, gorgeous." She says barely above a whisper, lips pressing against your hair.
·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛
a/n: you asked, i delivered 💌
honestly had so much fun writing this 🙏🏼
love you,
cat 🤍
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wwilsonbarness · 1 year ago
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the three words
pairings: bucky barnes x y/n reader  
based on the request below ⬇️⬇️
Ok, here it goes. Can I request a story where y/n is dating Bucky, it's new, like they haven't had sex yet, they both love each other and want to have sex, but Y/n is a survivor of SA, and Bucky will be the first guy she will be with since the assault happen. Can you write about how Bucky will take the news of the assault and how he helps Y/n move past what happened and build a life with him? A bit of Angst, a little bit of smut and a whole lot of fuff.
warnings: smut 18+ (unprotected sex, fingering, creampie), discussion of past sexual assault on reader, insecure thoughts (reader), angst, fluff, bucky is an absolute sweetheart 😭- let me know if I missed any ;) 
word count: 6206 - oops
a/n: Please pay attention to the warnings and don’t read if it will trigger you in any way. The reader blames herself for her SA but please know that if you have ever experienced anything like this it was not your fault, I hope you’re doing okay and I’m proud of you <3 
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
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Bucky notices you sniffling and pulls you closer towards him, he doesn’t hide his laughter and you know exactly why. Movie nights had always been a part of your relationship and without fail they always made you cry.
“Doll, this is supposed to be a happy movie.” Bucky whispered close to your ear. 
You turn your head and look up to see him smiling down at you. “It is happy,” you wipe your eyes trying to stop the tears from falling, “these are happy tears.” Bucky couldn’t help but laugh a little more, he loved these little things about you, like the way you always cried when watching movies, the way you always laugh at someone's jokes even if they aren't even remotely funny, the way you will always make sure to have his favourite snacks when you invite him over, but especially the way you make him feel. He had spent his whole life waiting to feel this way with someone, and with everything that has happened to him he really didn't think he would ever get the chance. You felt the same way towards him, you’d only been dating for a few months but you truly loved him. You just hadn’t been able to bring yourself to say the three words to him, part of you was scared he wouldn’t say it back.
You managed to get through the last part of the movie only crying a couple times before the credits started rolling. You hadn’t realised how late it had gotten before you saw the time on your phone, Bucky had stayed over a few times in your apartment and you loved having him there, you felt safe with him beside you but sometimes the tiny voice in the back of your mind convinced you things would go wrong, tonight you decided you weren’t going to listen to that voice. 
“You wanna stay tonight?” you asked hesitantly, what if he said no? 
“Course I do doll, if you’re okay with it?”
“Always.” you shoot a smile up at him to show you were truly happy for him to stay over. 
“I’ll be through in a minute, I just need to wash my face okay?” you say as you stand up and start walking towards the bathroom. 
“Okay, doll.” When you get to your bedroom you see Bucky in the middle of taking his pants down, you couldn’t deny the physical attraction you had for him, you even craved his touch but you weren’t ready to do that with him. Not yet. 
“I put a toothbrush beside the sink for you.”
“Thank you,” Bucky comes over to you and brings his lips to your forehead for a soft kiss, “I’ll just be a minute.” You nod your head in reply and begin to change into your pyjamas. You opted for a thin shorts and t-shirt set, remembering last time Bucky stayed over and your bed became way too warm, he was like a walking heater. 
“Cute pj’s.” 
“It’s just plain shorts and a shirt Buck.” you say back with a smile on your face.
He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, “Well, I think you look very cute,” you feel your cheeks flush as he says it. He pulls away and climbs into the right side of the bed, knowing you prefer the left side and pats the space beside him. “You comin doll?” You climb in beside him and practically melt into his touch. 
He brings his face down to yours and leans in for a kiss, a slow, deep kiss and you lean into it, kissing him back. He moves his fingers up to your arm and starts to trail his fingers in circles over it, slowly moving to your chest, his lips following the same direction. You could tell what he wanted to do but you weren't ready for it, it took a second for you to say the words that were racing through your brain, “Wait Bucky, stop.” Your words came out a lot softer than you meant them to, you were almost scared he wouldn’t listen, but he backs away from you instantly and looks up to see your eyes becoming glossy. 
“What's wrong? Are you okay?” You could see the concern in his eyes and you hated yourself for making him worry. You hated yourself for not being able to give him what he wanted, you knew he deserved a girlfriend who could make him feel good. 
“I’m fine, but um,” you pause and take a breath before continuing “can we just cuddle tonight?” your voice was just as soft as before, and he could tell.
His eyes softened at your question, “Yeah baby, of course.” He lies back down and pulls you gently next to him. You lay your head down on his chest and get comfortable, he can feel the deep sigh of relief you take.
A couple minutes of silence pass before you can bring yourself to speak, and all you can manage is “I’m sorry.”
“Y/n, I promise, you have nothing to be sorry for. We don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do, okay?” You try to answer him but you can’t find any words so you just nod against his chest. He rubs his hand gently over your arm trying to comfort you, the most important thing to him was that the girl he loved felt safe with him and he hoped you knew that. You had to know that right? That he loved you? 
You wanted to thank him for understanding and for not forcing you to do anything you didn't want to do but you couldn’t. Not without telling him about what happened to you, and you weren't ready to do that yet. You desperately wanted to tell him you loved him, to say those three words to him but the little voice in the back of your mind has once again taken control. He wouldn’t love you back, you know he wouldn’t and it would ruin everything. 
You try to push those thoughts far out of your mind and let sleep take over. 
You're not sure when you managed to fall asleep but when you woke up the space beside you was empty, he left? Did you scare him away? That thought doesn’t last long because you hear a bang in the kitchen and run through to find Bucky and the floor covered in waffle batter. 
You try to hide your giggles and ask if he’s okay but you nearly double over from laughing so hard. You finally manage to string together a sentence, “What happened in here?” 
Bucky did not find the batter spilling that funny but when he saw you laughing over it his heart melted, and he joined you in laughing. “Okay. This was not my fault” he says looking around him.
“Really? You raise your eyebrows and sport a grin on your face, “So who’s fault would it be?” 
“Well..” he pauses trying to think of an excuse but fails, “It was an accident” you walk over to him, looking out for the batter on the way, still laughing at the situation. 
“I suppose I can forgive you this time, but, only if you go change so I can hug you” 
“Just as soon as I clean this up, doll” He goes to grab the paper towels but you get there first.
“I will clean it up, you,” you point towards him “go get changed.” 
“Okay finee,” He sighs, “I will be right back.” 
It doesn’t take long to clean up and once you're finished you notice 3 cooked waffles beside the cooker, they must have been the only ones who survived Bucky’s awful cooking. Behind the waffles are tons of toppings, honey, whipped cream, strawberries and he even had grapes cut up for you, which were your favourite topping. It was unlike him to make breakfast, he would normally insist you go out because of this very reason, it normally ended up in something being broken or burnt. 
“So Chef Barnes, what made you decide to cook breakfast today?” you ask as he strolls back into the kitchen in a much cleaner state. He stands behind you and wraps his arms around you, leaning his head on your shoulder. 
“Just wanted to treat my girl, sorry it didn’t go to plan” you can hear sadness in his voice as he speaks. 
“Hey, we got 3 perfectly good waffles here, and you know what they say.” He turns his head to you, his brows furrowed together, you sense his confusion and continue. “Don’t cry over spilt waffle batter.” You both laugh at your words. 
“I’m pretty sure that’s not the phrase, doll.” 
“Hmm, I’m pretty sure it is,” you tease back. “How ‘bout we try these waffles? I’m looking forward to seeing how much your cooking skills have improved.”
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high, but they look kind of okay?” His words slow down as he lifts the waffles up and inspects them. You peck his cheek quickly and lift the toppings off the counter.
“Come on, let’s do a taste test” You move to the table and lay out the toppings whilst Bucky brings over the waffles and orange juice. You both top your waffles, you choose grapes and whipped cream, and Bucky chooses honey, strawberries and cream. Bucky was almost burning a hole in your soul with how hard he was watching you take your first bite, so you decided to tease him. You purposefully make no facial expressions as you finish the bite. 
“So, where did you find the recipe for the waffles?” 
His eyes slightly squint together, “I got Sam to send me one,” You just nod. “Are they bad? I can make you something else if you want, well, not make I've had enough of the kitchen today.”
You finally break character and let out a huge giggle, “I’m just kidding, Buck. They taste really good.” He looks at you and you can tell he’s surprised, not quite believing you. “Really! Try it.” You nod towards his plate.
He takes a bite and chews slowly, almost scared of his own cooking skills before a smirk creeps onto his face. “You know what, I don’t think I’ll retire my chefs hat quite yet.” 
“As long as you promise to let me know next time, so I can have the fire extinguisher on standby.” The rest of breakfast went just like that, teasing each other, laughing together, everything felt good again. 
Bucky couldn’t stay with you for much longer that day, he had to go to the compound and meet Sam for training and preparation for a mission they had planned this week. You were sad he had to go but you knew it was important, plus it gave you time to go into work for a bit and check everything was okay with your store. You took a step back from working a couple years ago when things got a little too much, and thankfully you had great employees who could manage most of the workload without you, but as the owner you still had a lot to manage. Which is why you decided to go in today, you ended up serving customers and you enjoyed it. You didn’t think you would ever feel okay enough to work in the front again, things were really looking up for you. You worked until close and decided to stay longer to catch up on the paperwork you originally came to do until around 9pm when Bucky texts you. 
Buck
Hey doll, you alright? Sorry I’ve not been near my phone all day
You
I’m good! Miss you though :( 
Buck
I miss you too! Have you eaten yet? 
You 
No, I’ve been at the store all day, you? 
Buck 
I’ll be done here in like 30 minutes, want me to bring dinner around? 
You 
I would love that 😚
Buck 
See you soon, doll 
You finish the folder you are working on and head home, arriving just a few minutes before Bucky. 
“How many people are we feeding Buck?” you tease. He’s balancing 3 bags of food in his arms when he walks in. 
“I may or may not have gone a tad overboard, butttt,” he trails off as he puts the bags down and digs through one of them, “I got your favourite pasta.” He pulls a box out of the bag and holds it up. 
Your eyes light up at the box and the biggest smile appears on your face which makes Bucky’s heart melt. “Thank you,” you kiss his cheek, “you’re the best.” 
You both plate your food up and sit at the table to eat. Bucky tells you all about the ways Sam annoyed him today, even though you know they’re secretly best friends. You told him all about your day, even though you felt like it was pretty boring he listened to every word.
Before you know it, it was late again, and just like the night before you ask Bucky to stay over but his response is different tonight.
“Do you want me to?” His voice was smaller than usual, like it was lined with doubt. 
You did want him to stay, you hoped he knew that. “I do Buck, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to” You tried to hide the shakiness in your voice but Bucky could hear it. 
“I do, I swear I do,” he goes silent for a few seconds before he finds the words he’s trying to say. “Do you feel safe with me?” His question catches you off guard, so off guard that it takes you a minute to process it. 
“I do Bucky.” 
“I promise I would never hurt you, and I’m really sorry for last night, I never want to make you feel uncomfortable, and you being safe is the most important thing for me.” You could feel tears starting to form and take a deep breath to try and stop them. The thing was they weren't sad tears, they weren't happy tears either, but they were because you believed every single word Bucky had said to you, you did feel safe with him, you truly believed he would never hurt you, and you loved him.
Before you say anything to him you pull him in for a hug, he wraps his arms around you tightly and you can both tell neither of you want to let go, but you force yourself to. You had been debating with yourself for weeks on whether you could open up to him but tonight you had no doubts, you trusted him fully and finally felt ready to tell him. 
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I mean it wasn’t your fault, and it’s not that I didn’t want to, I’m just not ready for that yet” You’re looking at him as you speak trying to sense how he is feeling, but all you can see in his eyes are care and concern for you. Seeing that he cares for you pushes you to keep going. “Can you promise not to judge me if I tell you something ?” You knew he wouldn’t but you still felt the need to ask.
“Doll, I would never, I promise. Listen, if you want to tell me this you can but do not feel like you have to okay? It’s your choice, and whenever you’re ready to talk I will listen to you. Always.” What he really wanted to say was that he loved you but he didn’t want to overwhelm you.
You nod your head as he speaks to you, but find yourself looking down before you continue speaking. “There was this man, he’d been coming into the store a lot and he would always chat to me, he seemed like a really nice guy. He would always ask how I was and how my day was going. I even started to like him.” Your breathing starts to quicken and you try to keep yourself calm but you felt like you were reliving what happened and it scared you.
“Take your time, Y/n. Breathe, it’s okay”
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologise for, it’s okay, take your time, take a break if you need to.” 
You shake your head when he suggests taking a break, you knew if you stopped you wouldn’t be able to start again. You lower your head down to where your hands are playing with each other, and try and catch your breath before speaking again.
“It was just a normal day, he came in, in the morning and we spoke like usual. It wasn’t until I was walking home that I saw him again. It was really dark out and I thought someone was following me, I felt like I was being watched and then he appeared on the other side of the street. I feel so stupid for it now but I was relieved, it was someone I sort of knew so when he offered to walk me home I said yes, I thought that was better than walking alone in the dark.” 
You were trying so hard to stop the tears leaving your eyes but it felt impossible, you weren't just sad over reliving what happened but you were angry, at him and at yourself. If you had just made a different choice that night everything would have been different.
“Everything was fine for a few minutes, then he started putting his arm around me and I asked him nicely to move it, but instead of moving it away he moved it lower. I kept asking him to stop but he wouldn’t, he just kept touching me. I tried to get away from him but he pulled me into an alley and pinned me against the wall.”
You still hadn’t looked back up at Bucky so you had no idea how he was reacting to this, you just hoped he wouldn’t hate you after or look at you any different. What you couldn’t see was that Bucky was holding back his tears, he had an idea of what you were going to say - even though he’d hoped he was wrong -  and with every word you said he got sadder, but he knew this wasn’t the time for him to be upset, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. 
“I told him no, I told him I didn’t want it but he kept saying I didn’t know what I wanted and that he would show me, I wanted to scream but it was like my voice was trapped, I was so scared but there was nothing I could do stop him, I swear I tried to fight him. He just wouldn't stop.” The words were spilling out of you at this point, you couldn’t control them. “He didn’t stop until he'd decided he'd had enough and then he just walked away like he did nothing wrong, like everything was fine. I ran home and it hadn’t really set in what had happened, it didn’t until the next day when I was back at work and he came in again acting nice again, like the night before never happened. That’s when I realised it was wrong, that it was beating me up inside but he was fine. That’s why I took a step back from work, I haven't seen him since that day.” This was when you looked up at Bucky, you could see the tears forming on his eyelashes but he wasn’t letting them run, he looked angry, not at you of course but your brain convinced you he was. You panicked at the thought of that, maybe he believed it was your fault? Your breathing started to speed up and you could feel your heart beat faster and faster like it was going to jump out your chest, and you suddenly felt like you had to defend yourself for what happened.
“I know I probably shouldn’t have been walking home alone, especially in the dark, and I know I must have led him on at some point, maybe when he came into work or on the walk home or maybe I said-” before you can blame yourself anymore Bucky stops you. He wanted to let you talk, he wanted to listen like he said he would but he could not let you blame yourself for this. He so badly wanted to reach out and physically comfort you but he didn’t want to panic you more.
“Y/n, you are not to blame for what happened to you, this is not on you, it’s on the guy who assaulted you, and it never should have happened.” Bucky is the first person you’ve told about this so hearing these words felt like a weight was being lifted off of you. He believed you. He didn’t blame you for it. “Can I hug you?” 
You nod your head, you missed the safe feeling you got when he held you in his arms. “It’s not your fault this happened. I’m here for you, okay? We can just stay like this all night if you want, whatever you need.”
You did want that, it was everything you wanted and needed, to be held by the one person who made you feel safe and loved. “Thank you Bucky.”
“It’s okay doll, no need to thank me” He brings his head down to yours and softly kisses your forehead. “It’s okay.” That’s how the rest of the night went, cuddled up on the couch until you both fell asleep. 
When you woke up the next morning Bucky was still asleep, you were still in his arms but you didn’t make any effort to move, this was the place you needed to be in right now. You’re not sure how long you lay there but soon Bucky starts to move beside you. 
You turn to him “Hi.” His eyes open slowly, trying to adjust to the daylight. 
“Hi.” You both let out a small chuckle at how you have woken up. “Have you been up long?” 
“No, sorry for falling asleep on you.” You go to sit yourself up only now realising you were probably squishing him considering your couch wasn’t that big but he gently pulls you back down beside him. 
“Don’t be sorry, I like laying like this” Without realising you melt into his touch, letting his arms gather round you. “Have you got any plans today?” 
Your brows furrow for a second as you try and remember if you had anything planned today, when you’re confident you don't you shake your head. “Do you have to go into the compound today?” 
“Nope. We finished all the prep yesterday, we could do something if you want?”
“Hmm” you pretend to weigh out your options but you have no doubts in saying yes, “I suppose we could do something.” 
“You’re funny,” he teases before an idea pops into his head which gets him excited. “Do you remember that park you were telling me about, with the dog cafe?” Your eyes immediately perk up at the mention of the dog cafe, ever since you saw it online a couple weeks ago you had wanted to go.  
“Yes!”
“You up for going? We can take my bike and go for a drive by the beach after if you want.”
“You know I’ll never say no to going out on your bike.” The first time you went on Bucky’s bike you were terrified but it ended up being some of the most fun you’d had in a long time, and now you jamp at the chance to go on it.
“I swear you love that thing more than me.” he said as he chuckled beside you. 
You laugh at what he says but in your mind you’re thinking that you honestly didn’t think you could love anything or anyone more than him. 
“As much as I’m loving cuddling with you baby, I need a shower.” 
“5 more minutes?” you look up at him and pout your lips a little. 
“I will always say yes to more cuddles.” 
5 minutes turns into 30 but you finally get up and showered, and head out to the cafe. It was everything you could’ve hoped for, you and Bucky had the biggest smiles on your faces the whole time. You were smitten over all the puppies, and so was Bucky, although he was more in love with the owner's little white cat who wouldn’t leave his side. Not that he was complaining, you think that was his favourite part. 
After the cafe Bucky takes you on a ride around the city, it must’ve been for a few hours, making different stops whenever something seemed interesting enough. The final stop you made was the beach, it was a little more into the country so there was a lot less people and noise. You made it just in time for the sun beginning to set, you and Bucky are both leaning against his bike, Bucky has his left arm wrapped around you and you have your head up against his shoulder. It was peaceful, mostly silent, both of you just watching the waves crash against each other. 
You were happy, Bucky was happy, everything was good. Bucky should be looking at the view but he can’t take his eyes off of you, the way your hair is blowing slightly in the wind and the slight curve in your lips every time you see a wave crashing against the sand. He decides he can’t hold it in anymore and breaks the silence. “Y/n?” 
“Hmm?” you lift your head away from him a little so you can see him.
“I love you.” you freeze for a second, in complete shock over his words and he notices so continues speaking, “You don’t have to say it back, but I just want you to know I really love you.” 
“Bucky” You turn your whole body towards him now and lift your feet up a little so you’re level with him. “I love you.”
This was the moment you had been waiting for, you finally said the three words you had been wanting to say. It was perfect, better than you expected, it’s how it always looks in the movies, on a beach at sunset, which some would say is cringy but for you it was perfect. 
From that day your relationship only got better, you missed Bucky when he was away on missions but you’ve started going into the store a few days a week now which helped pass the time. You were still mostly working from home where you felt safer but things were really good. Bucky had helped you through a lot in the last couple months, he supported you through all the times you felt responsible for what happened to you and reassured you that it was not your fault in the slightest. When you had random days where life was just a little bit harder he reassured you that it was okay to have those bad days, and that he was there for you, and that he loved you more than life itself. 
One thing that hadn’t changed in the past couple of months was your sexual relationship with Bucky, you’d made it clear that night that you weren’t ready for anything more to happen and he was okay with that. The truth was he would wait as long as you wanted or needed before doing anything more, he understood why you aren’t ready and respected you. As  much as he likes to pretend he isn't, he actually is a huge cuddle addict, every night he comes home he rushes to hug you and doesn’t want to let go all night. Bucky still had his own apartment but he stayed at yours most nights, it wasn’t official but he had basically moved in, his things had filled up the empty spaces you once had and his own apartment was pretty bare now. 
It had been a normal day up until now, you and Bucky were laying in bed, but you felt different tonight, you’re not sure what shifted but you wanted to take things further. You bring your lips to his neck and whisper into his ear. “I love you.”
Bucky lets out a breathy chuckle as you speak, “I love you too baby.”
You bring your lips closer and place soft little kisses over his neck, whilst you run your fingers through his hair. “That feels nice..” He can feel your smile against his skin, which causes his cheeks to fill with blush. You were craving his touch and you knew he wouldn’t do anything without your permission so you asked for what you wanted, what you needed. 
“Bucky, touch me.” You see his eyes widen at your words, he was slightly surprised. 
“You sure?” You nod but he needs more, “I need words, baby.”
You can’t help the grin starting to form at the thought of being touched by Bucky, “Please touch me.” 
He turns his body around and guides you to lay flat. “You look so pretty.” You blush at his compliments, he notices and decides to keep going. First kissing your neck, “My pretty girl,” he moves lower, kissing your shoulder, and brings his left hand up to your breast. His cold fingers ghost your nipple through your thin shirt which makes you moan quietly, almost a whisper but he heard it. “Feel good baby?” You could feel the heat racing through you, following his line of kisses. 
As you open your mouth to answer he twists your nipple between his two fingers, you bite your bottom lip trying to stifle the moan trying to escape your mouth. “You don’t have to be quiet, I wanna hear how good you feel.” Bucky lifts your shirt up, exposing your breasts, the cold air hits you but not as hard as his cold fingers do. He continues playing with your nipple with his left arm and brings his mouth to the other. 
“Fuckk, that feels so good Bucky..” You weren’t sure if you were making much sense at this point. “Please Buck- Please.” It was like every bit of you was more sensitive than ever, every time his lips touched you it sent a shiver down your spine. You lift your hips up a little hoping to get some friction against your aching core. You feel his cock through his sweatpants, which made you even more excited. 
“What do you want me to do, baby?” He smirks as you look back at him, he knows what you want but he wasn’t going to do it until you asked. You both loved and hated the way he was teasing you, it made you feel so good but you needed more. 
You wrap your hand around his and bring it down to your shorts, “Please touch me Bucky.” You pull your hand away from him and he starts to pull your shorts and panties away from you. His fingers slightly graze your clit which makes you whimper under him, “Fuckk.” 
He runs his fingers up your folds a couple times, you were already so wet and he’d hardly touched you. He starts to run circles over your clit, your head falling back at the feeling, “Like that?” You could practically hear his smirk.
“Yes.. Bucky, keep- Fuck. Keep doing that.” His touch was sending you nearer and nearer to your climax, you didn’t know if it was because you were touch starved or because he was just that good but oh my god it felt amazing. He brings his other hand down and starts to tease your pussy, he drops a ball of spit down onto you and rubs it over his fingers and around your opening. He slowly pushes two of his fingers into you, you go to bite your lip to try and hide your moaning but remember back to him saying he wants to hear you.
It’s almost like he could read your mind, “Fuck baby, you sound so sexy.. squeezing around my fingers so tight.. Fuck.. I can’t wait to feel you around my cock” Your pussy clenches around his fingers at the mention of him being inside you, pushing you closer towards your orgasm.
“Oh. My. God. Bucky, I’m gonna come.” You manage to string together your sentence through your shaky breaths. No one, not even yourself, had made you cum this quickly before. 
“Go on Baby, come for me.” He speeds up his fingers rubbing your clit, which along with his words makes you completely let go and your orgasm rushes through you. 
“Fuckk..” Bucky continues to rub your clit but slows down as you come down from your high, whispering praise into your ears.
“You okay? You did so good.” You’re still catching your breath so you just nod. He moves to cuddle you a bit but you stop him, he’s confused for a second but then sees the smirk on your face. “What?” he teases. Even though you had just come you were still craving more. 
“Buckyy..” you pause for a second, the shyness coming back. “I want more..” Before he can respond, your leg brushes against his cock and he moans at the sensation. 
“Fuck, Baby. You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.” 
“Show me?” you ask with a smirk. That was all Bucky needed to hear, he starts to take off his sweatpants, you see his cock hit his stomach as his pants fall and a slight whimper leaves your lips. 
“You ready baby?” 
“Please, I want you to fuck me” He presses his cock against your clit and your hips buck up at the feeling. He slides his cock down your folds gathering your wetness, before pushing just the tip in slightly.
He notices your breath hitch and stills himself, “You okay?” 
“Yes.. Go slow please.” he was so much bigger than you had ever had before and even with how wet you were you had to adjust. 
“Okay baby.” He slowly edges himself in more, “Fuckk.. You’re so tight, squeezing my cock so good baby.” His praise was making your pussy squeeze down harder onto him. 
He was fully in you now and he started to thrust in and out, slow at first but gathering speed quickly. “Fuckk.. Bucky. That feels so- so good” 
“Yeah baby?” He puts his hands on your hips and keeps thrusting into you, one thrust deeper than the rest hits that special spot inside of you, your eyes roll back and you gasp at the new sensation. 
“F..Fuck.” You can’t manage to speak properly with how good Bucky is making you feel, you were practically panting at this point and you could feel your orgasm coming towards you. You try to tell Bucky how close you are but you can’t get out the words. 
Bucky notices and is worried he’s hurting you or making you uncomfortable. “Are you okay?” 
You nod your head slightly but he starts to slow down and you can feel him start to pull out slightly. “Buc- Bucky..” You wrap your legs around him and pull him back towards you, “I’m Okay.. Just please.. I- I’m so close. Please.” 
Your pussy clenches around him, squeezing so tightly it makes it harder for him to slide in and out, you bring your fingers down to your clit and rub circles over it softly. The sight of seeing you touch yourself made Bucky’s cock throb inside of you. “Fuckk. Baby.. I’m not gonna last long seeing you like this,” You were both so close to coming, “So pretty taking my cock like this, baby.” 
He hits that spot again and you feel the band in your stomach snap, “Bucky.. I’m co- I’m coming. Fuck. I’m coming.” 
“Fuckk! Baby.” He groans out as his come shoots inside you, coating your pussy. He slows his movements, helping you come down from your highs, before carefully bringing himself to lay down beside you. You can feel the mixture of both your juices trail out of you, making a mess of your thighs and sheets but you didn’t care at this point.
“You doing okay?” Bucky whispers softly in your ear. You turn to him with a smile on your face and nod. 
“That was..” you can’t find the words to describe how he made you feel. “Thank you Bucky” It may have come across to Bucky that you were just thanking him for making you feel good but it wasn’t just that, you were thanking him for making you feel safe and loved and for waiting until you were ready. 
Bucky chuckles a little at how lost for words you are, “Thank you for trusting me,” He kisses your forehead and pulls you closer towards him, wrapping his arms around you, “I love you” 
“I love you more.” The three words you'd once been so scared to say were now one of the things you said most, Bucky truly was your love. 
“I don’t think that’s possible, baby.” 
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AHHHH I hope this was okay! It’s my first request🤭
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rainyorca · 3 months ago
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Flowers Don’t Bloom In Winter ❀ Logan Howlett x Reader
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Content Warnings: F!reader, angst/no comfort, character death, kissing/make out, implied smut, mild gore, strangers to friends to lovers.
Summary: “Are you scared?” he asks, voice low but there's genuine curiosity in the gentle cadence of his voice. Your eyes meet his. “You could never scare me.” 
You'll wilt, all flowers die. But he'll bloom again.
Notes: I’ve been a wolvie fan since i was suppperrr young and I am so glad him (and hugh) are getting attention again. This is my second-ish time writing for him, I just got done rewatching the movies for the first time in a while so hopefully I did him a little justice. His hair in origins will forever be my favorite but in this you can think of him from any movie, there is no set one, no set timeline wolvie.
Words: 6,121
𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘
You're not a weapon. 
You’re more human than everyone else.
Human was a funny word, to Logan at least. Being human meant a lot of things, mutant wasn’t one of them. Stuck as a mutant with the heart for a human, what a tragedy. Actually, did he even have a heart? Oftentimes he would spend nights trying to find his own heartbeat, a hand laying on his chest while he stared up at the ceiling. 
When he met you he wondered if you knew what he was, the way you stared at him when he came in and sat down at the bar made him curious. Most don't know, he looks normal on the outside, so how would you know? But he did have a hard time keeping his eyes off you too, you smelled human but there was something so sweet about your scent, it made you different from others. 
Wisteria, sandalwood, jasmine and maybe a hint of vanilla, he couldn't really pinpoint what you smelled like (however it reminded him of forests, nature, his old home) all he knew was that he wanted the scent to last forever, like a candle he could buy over and over again. He would only watch the stage when you got up there and when you're done, he would be too. 
You came to the bar shortly after to get yourself a drink, your eyes resembled a rabbit’s; innocence and beauty all in one, and they immediately found him. There was something else in your eyes, deep within like you were trying to figure him out. When you got closer to him your scent got stronger, so strong it was almost overwhelming. No human has ever had that effect on him before, at least not enough to make him physically react like he did, squeezing his glass a little tighter. 
“Hello,” you smiled brightly, like a blooming flower, voice gentle whilst you greeted him. 
“You must be new, I haven't seen you at the bar before.” 
“Just figured I’d try out a new place,” he responds, an attempt to try and be friendly despite his intimidating looks. You smile again, swallowing down the remains of your liquor and then putting the dish in the sink. “Glad you came to us,” your eyes travel down to his somewhat empty glass, “you want another?” 
Your kindness was obvious, but no one that kind is ever really okay. There was something off about you, something deep down was bothering you or maybe you just had some other problem he couldn't figure out. You're kind but in a calming way, not overwhelming. What's the word? Tranquil? That's what he thought of you. 
You knew Logan wasn’t human when you first met him. He looked human just like a majority of the rest of the mutants but you had a keen eye for finding them. It was a talent to some people, being able to point out who was ‘real’ and who was not. Logan was no exception, you could practically see that mutant blood underneath his thick skin as if you had x-ray vision. 
A human trying to befriend a mutant, what an odd thing to most of the world. You should be scared of him. People would say, many warning you to beware the mutants, stay away from the entities wearing human skin. He's only going to hurt you, stay away from him. 
Logan wasn’t an entity, he had a human heart just like the rest of them. But to you, he was a little more human than the others. To you, he looked like a winter flower, strong and capable of handling whatever comes its way, but flowers don't bloom in winter. He was too good to be true. 
You don’t really remember the details of how you met Logan (besides making small talk that first time), but what always stays in your head is what happened a few months later upon meeting him. 
There was a little dispute in the parking lot of your job. Being a dancer doesn't mean you do all the hard work at your job, that's up to the servers and bartenders. But of course you were always the one to go clean up after people. Your coworkers assigned you the role after you broke up a bar fight on your first night, so all the dirty work (dealing with rude customers or fights in and out of the bar) was left up to you. 
Kill them with kindness is an extremely real and full proof method, people find your kindness a little off putting (though you are unsure why). You don’t know what the guys were fighting about but it got messy quickly, they both started swinging at each other and when you tried to split it up suddenly you were the problem. 
Pushing you up against the car, threatening you instead of each other. Your coworkers who were once watching from afar were now safely back inside. You braced yourself for some hits, maybe you would get a cool scar out of the situation, a story to tell to your future children (if you even had any). But all that confidence from before was dropped as soon as the guy got on his knees, grabbing your injured face as you leaned lethargically against the car, making you look at him.
Your bare legs hurt on the asphalt, rocks digging into the softness of your skin, leaving marks. He held a knife up to your ribs, pressing and pressing until you felt a sharpness, the tip of the blade digging into your flesh. The other guy had run off, probably took his chance and instead let you take the beatings. 
You remember him getting ready to stand up, his face getting closer to you while he continued to threaten you, that was until he went silent. There was the sound of flesh ripping, or a knife sheathing you weren’t really sure. Blood splatters onto your face, the only thing you could hear was gurgling and a gruesome choking sound from the man. Slowly opening your blurry eyes, the sight in front of you almost made you scream if your throat wasn't so dry. 
The man had been silenced, three blades stuck out the front of his face, the tips of them so close to yours you could feel them poking into your skin. A shaky gasp escapes your lips when you see him move, his body lifting up. Standing behind him, the man's blood spilling onto his knuckles, was Logan (Haemanthus, in that moment). 
The look of fear on your face was clear in the dark, Logan could see it, hell he could probably smell it. You watch him toss the limp body aside and then he crouches down in front of you. Flinching away, you watch those metal claws slide back into his knuckles, the openings they tear closing almost immediately. Then he cups your face with that same, blood soaked hand, trying to wipe the blood that had splattered onto your face (useless, he was only smearing it). 
That was the first time you ever saw Logan use his powers and it was to protect you. What you should’ve done is run, call the cops or something but instead you stayed, you stayed in front of him, letting him pick you up and carry you back into your job. 
Humans are curious creatures, thirsting for an explanation of something they don't understand, even if that explanation could kill them. So, after that, you would stay after hours on your job, as long as he was there. After you got done closing you would ask him to show you, show you his claws so you could feel them, look at them. Maybe even worship them if you were that kind of person. 
“Does it hurt?” You ask, trailing your fingers up the blades. “When they come out?” 
“Every time,” he responds, watching you intently, no one has ever seemed to show this much curiosity over his claws, at least no human has. 
“There’s something sort of humbling about them,” you speak slowly, looking at your reflection on the blades, “the fact that you could so easily kill me, kill anyone, yet you choose not to.” 
Your fingers trail back down the blades until you stop at his wrist, wrapping your hand around it to feel them when they return into his body. You could feel his muscles move every time his bones shift to allow the metal to escape the cavity of his arm. His eyes stay locked on your face, watching every tiny change in expression. 
“Are you scared?” he asks, voice low but there's genuine curiosity in the gentle cadence of his voice. 
Your eyes meet his. “You could never scare me.” 
It was hard to say whether you really liked Logan after what happened, a part of you knows what he did was illegal, but he did it to protect you, maybe you could rule it out as self defense if the cops come searching. You took an interest in him honestly, this was your first time getting to know a mutant, your first time being saved by one too. 
But there was a part of you that wanted to protect him, keep him safe and out of harm from humans and mutants alike. Logan is stubborn but not as stubborn as you. You would do anything to keep him safe, even if it meant risking your own life, although he argues that you shouldn't do anything like that for him. Humans are much more fragile, at least that's what he would say to you. He compared you to a flower, prone to breaking, prone to destruction. He feared that he wouldn't be able to keep you safe. 
It's strange, just a few months into this little friendship and you already feel this instinct to take care of him, to nurture him, treat him like he's the most perfect piece of art in the whole world, and also the most breakable. Like he's the most precious, rarest flower you’ve ever seen. The type that you discovered, not some random traveler. Even a few months in he allows you to meet all the other mutants, the ones he calls his family. You hit it off with Storm pretty quick, she knew how to be your voice of reason, your help when it comes to figuring out your feelings for Logan. 
You also enjoyed staying at the mansion, being able to interact with all the students. This place was wonderful to you, but you didn't like having to stay behind when Logan went on missions. 
Every time you watch him walk out that door you feel like you're left with nothing but desperation, the desire, the need to go with him. All you want to do is help him. But you were also left with fear, strangely enough. No matter how many times he came back, everytime he left it felt like he was never gonna come back. They’re just missions, he’ll be back soon. That's what you always told yourself.
You don't know why you cared so much, you two weren't even dating. But you don't really know what to call the relationship you two had, you were much closer than just regular friends. Yearning was never your thing until you met him. Usually you try to avoid relationships, your fears always making it hard for you to stay with someone. 
I wanna be a part of you. 
You would tell him. Always touching him, that was your thing. He liked that about you, that you felt safe around him, comfortable enough to always be touching him, a hand constantly on his shoulder or fingers wrapped around his wrist. It was something you did every time you were with him, even if you were safe from harm. 
His most favorite thing was that scent of yours, it drove him crazy in all the good ways. He could tell when you had just been in a room and he could follow your scent out of that room if he so pleased. He remembers the first time Charles talked about you after you had left the room just a few minutes before he arrived. 
“She's quite a unique one,” he says, watching Logan adjust to your scent filling the room, “isn't scared of mutants, believes we are all equal. I'm glad you found her, Logan.”
“Yeah well, I knew she’d be good here,” Logan responds, leaning against the wall. Charles is quiet, but there's a growing smirk on his face. “What?” he asks a bit harshly.
“You like her,” Charles says, “I don't have to read your mind to tell.”
“Yeah well a mutant and a human won't really work out, so forget it,” Logan grumbles, pushing through the doors and leaving the room before Charles could protest.
The dynamic was weird (for a pair that wasn't dating), but considerably normal to the other mutants. Many seek him out for protection too, he's just the type of guy you gravitate to, despite that grumpy face and angry attitude. You know that's not who he is on the inside, he's much more gentle than what others seem to think about him (Hibiscus, a delicate beauty, Gypsophilia, pure of heart).
When Logan was out on missions, you would spend your time distracting yourself with flower hunting or spending money on bouquets just to make you happy. You would leave them around the mansion, around your work. 
You love seeing him in the audience when he returns, usually sitting at the bar. He leans against it, facing the stage, eyes only on you (Sweet daffodil, you're my only one. The sun shines when I'm with you). When you were done for the night you would run to him, wrapping your arms around him, finding so much comfort in those large arms. 
You imagine Logan would be a kind lover, gentle and caring. The type to freak out if he accidentally hurt you. The type to sit you on his lap during dinner even if there was a chair for you. You know he would take care of you, he's said it a million times before. 
“I’ll take care of you,” he says softly one night after you get off work. You're standing behind the bar, watching him drink the last of the whiskey. 
“You can't be near me all the time,” you hum, teasingly, unaware of his seriousness. You figured it was just him being a little flirty. 
“I can if I want to,” he responds, his smile often a little rare to see but present in this moment. 
He made it very hard for you to try and hide your flusteredness. Logan can be very flirty, more unintentionally than not. In all honesty, maybe you did want him, wanted to be with him. For once you can see a future with someone, something rare for you (usually trying not to look ahead). You could see the future where you live in a cabin with him, somewhere in the woods, probably in Canada or somewhere cold. He would get a normal job, you would make him breakfast and then kiss him goodbye before heading to your own job. Maybe it was a sad, pathetic thing to think about at night but you couldn't help yourself, it was the life you always wanted and you finally found someone to have that life with. 
The day you really realized it, was when he came back from a longer mission, longer than usual. For once you didn't work that week, taking a break to give the new dancer a chance to earn some money. You spent that week cleaning your place, organizing, doing the things you didn't usually have time for. That's when you received a call from the mansion, Ororo had called you, letting you know Logan was back. 
You’ve never driven so fast in your life, that long trip turns into a few quick minutes. The snow didn't stop you, instead it only made your adrenaline spike, your excitement. You practically slipped when you got out of the car, running to the front door of the mansion. 
When it opened to his handsome face you felt a tingle in your spine, electricity coursing through your veins. He starts to walk forward, snow starting to stick to his dark hair, his arms open waiting to catch you. 
In that moment, when you ran into his arms, feeling them wrap around you again and cover you in that familiar warmth, that familiar scent, you felt something more. More than fasciation, more than adoration, you felt love (A blooming orchid). 
“Miss me?” he asks with a smile when you pull away, your arms still wrapped around his neck. He sets you carefully back down on your feet.
“Always,” you breathe, tears pricking at your eyes. You don't know why you felt like crying, you blamed it on the fact of how much you missed him, or maybe you were just incredibly overwhelmed. 
You knew the problems with wanting to be with Logan. The major one you realized while rewatching Twilight (Ironic given your situation, Edward a vampire, Bella a human. You a human, Logan a mutant). Logan is practically immortal, honestly you don’t even know how old he is now. You’ll grow old, eventually succumb to your age or maybe even a sickness if you're lucky. Logan will still be living, just older, a little more grumpy. 
You’ll wilt, all flowers die. But he’ll bloom again.
But unlike Twilight, you won’t get your happy ending. Logan can’t bite you and turn you into a mutant like Edward does with Bella. His fangs are dulled, they don’t secrete any special type of life changing liquid. 
Unfortunately you’ll be human forever. What a curse it is to be human or to be living at all. 
… 
The first time you and Logan kissed was outside his place, surrounded by nothing but trees, fresh snow falling to the ground and sticking to your hair. You had embarrassingly fallen on your ass walking up to his house, he quickly rushed out to help you up, dusting you off and asking if you were okay. But when he picked you up you never let go, keeping your arms wrapped around his neck while he held you on your own two feet. There was that buzz in the air, the flutter right before a kiss, that tingly feeling in your spine knowing it’s going to happen. 
And when his lips graze over yours you practically shove his head down to kiss him, pressing your lips against his without even considering the situation. To your surprise, he kisses you back, wrapping his arms around you a little tighter and lifting you up so your legs wrap around his waist. 
It was like something out of a movie, just missing a mushy love song. You wished you could hold that kiss forever but your lips would get sore and you would probably get frostbite. 
When you pulled away he stared at you, eyes piercing into yours before he freed one of his hands. His fingers curl around the chain of his dog tags, and then he pulls them up and over his head.
Then he puts them around your neck, the jingle of them coming to rest on your collar bones makes you shudder, but from warmth, excitement. 
You hide them under your shirt most of the time, always toying with them to make sure they are still safely around your neck. It’s like he transported his warmth with them because they were always warm no matter how cold it was outside. 
Sometimes, if you see him before he leaves somewhere, he’d press a hand to where they hang, rough palm warm against your chest. It was like his little special way of saying goodbye, just in case he didn’t return (which you hated to think about). 
Logan eventually gave you the spare key to his place, allowing you to visit whenever you so pleased. And when he was gone sometimes you would curl up in his bed, inhaling his scent and usually getting the best sleep of your life. His scent brought you comfort, you always wanted to be surrounded by it, drowning in it. 
On occasion but rarely, he would come home to you still in his bed, buried under the covers and sleeping soundly. He’d pull the blanket back gently to see your face, sit down on the edge of the bed and stare at you while he waited for you to wake up. 
But usually you would be gone, his bed would be empty but he would always know you were there. Your scent would seep into sheets, the mattress drinking up your smell. He could smell you, like you were still present (Soft jasmine, beautiful wisteria).
Now the first time you two ever slept together was at his place of course, you were slumped from work, muscles aching, head throbbing. You’ve never been this tired before. You push through the door, unlocked as usual when he’s home. He’s already in bed when you're there, awake but he looks just as tired as you. He sits up when he sees you, turning on the lamp so you can see. You don't even say anything, instead you just drop your things by the doorway, tugging your shirt off over your head letting it pool on the ground. 
He doesn’t seem to care, instead he just watches you as you curl into bed next to him. “Rough day?” He asks a few moments later, turning the lamp off. 
“Don’t even get me started,” you mumble back, voice muffled by his pillow. You can already feel yourself relaxing, his scent like a calming drug (the smell of peaceful lavender).
He doesn’t hesitate, he turns to his side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. You let out a sigh, melting into his warmth. It started out as a normal night, sleep coming to you quickly. But it wasn’t until you felt Logan stirr, moving a little in his sleep. He lets out a quiet grumble, and then a louder one. 
Then you feel a sharp pain, agonizing, stinging, right in the back of your shoulder. You let out a yelp, jolting up, your movements pulling whatever it was out of your flesh. You look back, reaching a shaking hand back to feel the wounds. “Damn,” you groan when you see blood on your hand, Logan’s claws unsheathed, the tips covered in your blood. You can feel the warmth travel down your back, the sight of the blood trickling down your back and staining the sheets makes you feel dizzy.
Logan stirrs again, sniffing the air, eyes fluttering open at the scent of your blood. He acts as soon as his eyes land on your back, fear and worry clouding his head. “Fuck,” he curses, “fuck, fuck.” 
“I’m okay, I’m fine.” You breathe through clenched teeth, getting up to go to the bathroom. He quickly picks you up, carrying you to the bathroom. He sets you on the bathroom sink, maneuvering around you so he could clean your wounds. You open your eyes, staring at his face. He’s focused, brows furrowed, lips slightly parted as he continues to wipe the blood from your open wounds before finally getting them to stop bleeding. You watch as he slowly starts to wrap you up with the gauze and bandages. 
You reach up, softly cupping his face with your free hand, making him halt his actions. His eyes meet yours, your reflection so visible in his pupils. Unsure of how long you stared into his eyes, he had somehow finished wrapping you up without taking his eyes off you. You could feel yourself inching closer, getting closer and closer to his face until you can feel his breath. His lips graze over yours and you flinch back, as if you haven’t kissed him before. It’s been a few months come to think of it, but still you shouldn’t be nervous. 
Logan just has that effect on you. It only takes a few seconds until your lips meet, kissing him gently, your fingers finding their way to the nape of his neck. Fingertips brush the shore of his hair, almost like an invitation. 
And he takes it, kissing you with a little more vigor. His bloodied hand comes up to your face, smearing a little bit of your blood on your cheek. He’s careful with his movements, gripping your waist with his other hand to keep you up on the sink, to steady you. His kisses are starting to get more aggressive, pressing you a bit further back onto the sink.To make sure you don’t slip in, he reaches underneath you, his large hand coming to rest on your ass as he holds you still. 
You can feel that familiar heat start to pool between your thighs, and he can feel it too, or in other words smell it. Your legs clench around him, squeezing as if you're trying to pull him into you. He frees his hand from underneath you, feeling up the bare skin of your waist, his rough fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours while he stares down at your semi-bare body, debating on unclipping your bra to feel you more. His breathing is rushed but even, mouth open. 
“Logan,” you breathe, coming out more as a desperate plea. He hums, pressing your lips together again, open mouth kisses, tilting his head for better movement and access. There’s a thin string of saliva that keeps your mouths connected when he pulls away. 
He can see it in your eyes, the desperation, not only that but he could smell it too. Your scent was strong, if he got closer to your core it would be overwhelming, and he's not sure he’d be able to stop what he's started.. “You’re hurt,” he says quietly, “I don’t wanna hurt you anymore than you already are,.” 
“You won’t,” you respond, a smile on your kiss bitten lips, “Logan, please.” He kisses you again, slower and softer this time. “I can't,” he whispers against your lips, keeping them close even after pulling away again. 
“Why not?” you speak softly, scratching his scalp with your nails. He hesitates, his thumb rubbing your cheek. “You know why.” He smiles, gentle and small before licking his thumb and wiping the small amount of blood off your face. “C’mon,” he mutters, lifting you off the sink. 
… 
Logan gave you all kinds of nicknames but your most favorite came from you showing up to his place with flowers. You loved orchids, always have so you bought a small bouquet of them to put on his coffee table. He accepted gracefully, and then from then on he started calling you by that name. A simple nickname but it was lovely.
 Orchid, my little orchid. A nickname uniquely your own (Orchids, love, beauty).
It wasn’t long before you two had officially agreed to being in a relationship, having a label. And not long after that you decided to move in with him, a bold move but you spend more time at his place than yours anyways. At night the moon will shine through the windows, lighting up the room with its cool toned glow. You’ll lay your head on Logan’s shoulder, your hand resting on his chest. You’ll both lie awake in silence while you draw circles on his chest with your finger. 
Some nights you’ll sit on his lap while his back rests against the headboard, your hands cupping his face. On occasion, you’ll run your thumb over his bottom lip until he parts them for you, then you’ll feel his abnormally sharp canines, his fangs. You test them, pressing the pad of your thumb into the sharp point to see if it’ll make you bleed but he always stops you before you ever do. When you're asleep he’ll stare at your face till morning, gently rubbing his thumb over your cheek. He stares at his dog tags around your neck, always warm from your body heat and always safe. 
He admires your beauty, especially when the sunlight hits you just right. When you're hiking in that tank top and whatever pants you decided to wear that day, he stares at your backside, your silhouetted figure. And when you bend over to tie your shoe, looking back at him with a smile, his eyes not only fixate on your face, but your scars. The scars he left engraved on your skin. 
The scars you admired, the scars that comfort you, a reminder of him always. 
It’s past 11 pm, you’ve been in the bath for almost an hour now, the water starting to get cold. The room is dark, only lightened by the light seeping through the open bathroom door. You lean back, head resting on the edge of the tub, fingers toying with Logan’s dog tags.
The familiar sound of the front door opening echoes through the silent bathroom, Logan's heavy footsteps can be heard walking around, like he's looking for you. You slide down further into the bath, trying to hide yourself playfully, peaking over the edge while you wait for him. That's when he peeks into the bathroom, a smile creeps over his face when he sees you.
“Hi, gorgeous.” he says in that comforting gruff voice. He crouches down by the side of the tub, dipping his hand into the warm water. “Hi.” You smile, sitting up and resting your head on your hands, holding onto the edge of the tub. He brings a hand up to caress your face, gently rubbing the warm skin of your cheek. 
“What did you do today?” you ask, watching him reach for the loofa and dip it in the water. He grabs your arm gently, rubbing your skin softly with the item. “The usual,” he responds, staring at the suds on your skin while they wash away. You hum, sitting back in the tub again, making him let go of you and get further. “C’mere,” you beckon, tapping the edge of the bathtub. He complies, getting up and sitting down on the edge. He leans down so he could be close to your face. 
“I was thinking about you today,” he says softly, cupping your face, “I always am.” Smiling a little wider, you reach up with both hands, grabbing his face and pulling him down to kiss him. He kisses you back, much to your pleasure. You're quick to part your lips, giving him access to use his tongue. 
It's an aggressive kiss, open mouthed and borderline messy. He pulls away to say something but you block it out, too focused on the feeling of his lips to even notice. You try to pull him back down and you successfully do, he doesn't put up a fight or anything. The kiss becomes more vigorous, more violent but so passionate.
He slips, falling into the tub fully clothed, making the water rise and spill out over the sides. You laugh softly in which he responds with a small laugh too. He’s laying on your side, face inches away from you and just a little lower as he allows himself to slip into the bath more comfortably. Your lips graze over his again, his smile fades as he kisses you and then pulls away. 
You adjust your trapped arm behind his head, scratching his scalp as he gets closer and closer. Then he kisses you again, leaning his whole body forward and cupping your face with a wet hand once again. You close your eyes, but he opens his just slightly while his lips slowly slot against yours. Open mouth on open mouth, his lips never leaving yours. The only noise that fills the space is the quiet sound of water sloshing, soft breaths from the both of you while you kiss until practically sucking the oxygen from each other. 
Pressing his lips against yours a little rougher now, he eases on top of you. Your hands travel up and down his flanks and back, feeling him through his soaked clothes tight against his skin until you tug and pull at the bottom of his shirt. He sits back, breaking the kiss for once and taking his shirt off, immediately returning to your lips. A gasp escapes your mouth when you feel him press his hips against yours, his cock clearly wanting to be freed from the prison of his jeans. He can smell your arousal, your need for him. His lips move down your jaw and to your neck, kissing at the supple area while he struggles to grind against you. His fangs graze over your skin, making your body shudder at the feeling. 
Water spills out the tub with every erratic movement, but you can feel the warmth returning. He uses his other hand to hold the dip in your spine, making your back arch by habit, by command almost. Your eyes go all hazy and the more he presses his bare skin into yours you swear you feel like you're melting into his body. 
“I love you,” he whispers, into your neck. 
You loved flowers, always have. You loved what they represent depending on what type they were, you loved how colorful they usually work, how unique they are. You loved how they bloom again even after death, even after they've wilted and lost all their color. The petals turned into something wrinkled and rough, unlike their usual clear, softness. 
Even after they die, they still bloom again in springtime. Daisy, lavender, day lily, aster, they all bloom again. Flowers don’t mourn the dead, they respect it, embrace it. They become one with the dead, seeping into the ground and back into the earth in which a person is buried. 
To him, you were a flower. Delicate and soft, something he wanted to protect, to see everyday. Your color, he couldn't quite describe it but it was uniquely your own. Over 10 million colors and somehow when he sees you  and it's something separate from the million to choose from. When he thinks of you, that's the color he sees. When he thinks of you, he sees an orchid. 
But is a flower still a flower after all its petals have been ripped off, gored and left to rot and wilt on the ground. Is a flower still a flower after it's been torn out of the ground, roots ripped, its purpose gone?
You think of all the times you’ve woken up beside him, smiling when he opens his eyes, murmuring a soft “good morning” as he reaches up to touch your face. You remember the times where he would soothe you on your tough days, running a bath for you and gently rubbing the loofa on your skin. So many good moments, very few bad ones. 
Words of affirmation weren't your love language, at least not usually. But Logan had another super power, and it was exactly that. He knew what to say and how to say it at all the right moments. He was a generous lover, attentive, caring, when you were with him you felt like yourself. 
“Winter came early this year,” you hum, clutching the white orchids in your gloved hands, “my first one without you.” 
“I keep buying orchids for you, whenever I have the time. But even when I don’t you're always on my mind.”
You go silent, tears starting to bubble up in your eyes. “I just- I-” you stutter, voice breaking as you grip the flowers a little tighter. You fall to your knees, snow wetting your pants while your tears run down your face. Your sobs slowly pick up in volume every time you try to speak, only to get choked up and give up. “I just wanna see you,” you sob, pressing your face into the snow below, “I just want to see you.” 
You drag yourself further up the ground until you're met with the headstone, Logan’s name engraved on it, freezing to the touch. You press the flowers into the snow, laying down on top of them while your hands move to clutch his dog tags tightly around your neck. The snow and soil drink up your tears, and you can only hope they reach him.
 He was a flower, a dangerous one on the outside but oh so beautiful on the inside. But you seemed to forget one thing. 
Flowers don't bloom in winter.
𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘
I don't know flowers that well so forgive me flower fans ahaha
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