#haven't been thinking of Cinder as if he was my blorbo however i saw the potential and had to say what was revealed to me in a vision

[anabetel35]

Guys hear me out: Cinder had memory issues all his life, courtesy of being the EM of smoke. His memories, old and new, seem to dissolve into nothing all too often or they're foggy and hard to grasp. It's nothing too horrible, he can still function perfectly well. He's been working with this poor memory of his all his life.

But then Ras strikes the gong for the first time. And his powers get a new angrier, stronger breath to them. He finishes the fight, proud and emboldened by his strength. That evening he forgets where he lives.

Jordana, the teenage girl working alongside him, clearly struggles under the effects of magic. Her hands shake when she's even slightly tired, Cinder notices, her breathing is labored even as she only passively stands and the dark beneath her tired eyes slowly burrows itself deeper and deeper, so much so that Cinder sometimes worries wonders if it has already carved itself into her bones. Her mind dwindles, too, her memories getting murkier and more chaotic. She misuses words, changes them, forgets them. Her sentences are becoming riddles, mysterious, confusing, strange.

He doesn't think much of it. They are rivals, after all. If anything, it makes him selfishly glad. She's falling behind, moreso than he is, he's sure. He walks with pride in his step, thinking that he has a better grasp on his thoughts and memories than that little ginger twerp -- he has a lifetime of practice in remembering even when his mind doesn't want to. Out of the two of them, he's the one who's more fine.

Until he forgets his name on the battle field.

Until, for a terrifying moment, he forgets who he's supposed to be.

Until he realizes that he doesn't quite remember how his hands or face look.

Until his memory slips away from him and leaves only smoke behind.