#haven’t found any deserts either come to think of it

[bahablastplz]

All in | Chapter 3

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: you escape and face the consequences of your actions

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

It’s cold outside, you think, and you wish you had brought a little more thought to your choice in outfit because the shirt you’re wearing does little to protect your skin from the harsh wind. You regret not finding something a little thicker, something with longer sleeves perhaps when you had raided the wardrobe earlier. You were searching for comfort, not practicality, and now that decision was coming to bite you in the ass. 

Your body carries you through the wooded area surrounding the house, brambles scratching at your arms and drawing blood. You thank your body for pumping out adrenaline once again, protecting you from feeling too much pain. You’re not sure if you’ve ever run this hard or this fast in your entire life, the burning in your lungs evident that maybe you should have focused a bit more on staying in shape. Your shoes were definitely not made for running and you add it to the list of things to curse yourself for later. 

The pavement under your feet is different from the mushy grass surrounding the SKZ base and you find yourself trying not to connect your feet as hard to the ground to make up for it, lest the burning in your legs slow you down. Wait… pavement? You slow, coming to a stop to allow yourself a moment to view your surroundings and catch your breath. 

You notice you're in the city, albeit a deserted part of it that you don't recognize. Looking left and right, you decide to go in the direction of the faded city lights. At every car that passes you hold your breath and try to sink into the bushes, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible just in case Chan is in one of the vehicles. 

Salvation comes to you in the form of a gas station, seemingly devoid of any life. As you near close, you let out a sigh of relief when you see the blinking ‘open’ sign. One person mans the register, a man in his mid-30s that doesn’t seem to pay you any mind. He smells like cigarettes and whiskey but even so you can’t find it in you to be displeased. 

“Excuse me, sir,” you say, saccharine sweet. “Do you have a phone I could borrow?” The first thing you would like to do is give your sister a phone call, to let her know you’re on the way.

“You have to buy something first,” he replies instantly, not even bothering to look up from his newspaper. 

You freeze. “But… I don't have any money.” It's the truth. God knows where your phone and wallet are; you haven’t had either since you started dating Jungwon and became dependent on him for everything. 

“That's not my problem,” he says. You take a deep breath to ground yourself, inhaling the aroma of hot dogs and nacho cheese. A slushie machine whirls behind you, reds and blues that could be impossibly easy to get lost in. 

“Listen sir, I've had a rough couple of days, and I don't know where I am, and I would really appreciate it if–” 

“No, you listen, brat,” he spits the word out, finally slamming his paper down and shooting you a nasty glare. “I don't give a damn who you are, either buy something or get the Hell out of my store before I call the cops.” 

You feel inclined to listen and book it out of here but you realistically don’t have many other options. You ignore the tears threatening to spill from your lash line. If he won’t let you use the phone, the least you could do is try to figure out where you are. 

“Um… okay, how far is Second Street from here?” 

“Least three miles.” 

“Three miles? Okay. What about downtown?” 

“Still at least an hour walk.” 

“Shit, okay. Have a nice night, sir,” you say, but you don’t mean it and he doesn't deserve it. You walk out of the store nonetheless, walking on the abandoned sidewalk in the direction of the city. Your body aches and you’re not sure how far you’ve walked when you hear voices in front of you. 

There’s three men. One of them sways back and forth as he walks, obviously inebriated. Fuck. You keep your eyes glued to the sidewalk and your pace quickens, hoping that a lack of engagement will increase your luck. Maybe, just maybe for once in your life you’ll get a free pass here. Of course that doesn’t happen. 

“Hey, pretty thang. What's a girl like you doing all by yourself this late at night?” The man nudges his friend, the noticeably drunker one. 

“I don't want any trouble,” you mumble, pushing forward. 

A large unwelcoming hand reaches out to grab your wrist and you shout out in pain. Broken. Despite the ice and bandage wrapped around your appendage, your wrist is still broken. 

“What wash that? I think she said she wantshta show ush a good time!” He slurs, and anxiety settles in the pit of your stomach. You’re starting to get really tired of the feeling. 

“Let me go, please!” Your other hand gripped the offender’s, placing it over his tight grasp. 

You're shoved to the ground, knees scraping against the sidewalk. Your breath is caught in your throat, and the scene is all too familiar. 

“Come on bunny, don't you want to play?” A hand grips around your throat, and you feel like prey. How they managed to find the parts of you that were weak and vulnerable, you had no clue. Men like this just had a knack for being awful like that. A hand snakes in your hair and grabs tight, and you’re reminded of just days ago being in this exact situation. 

“Look, she’s crying!” one of them coos. You let out a loud sob and think, God, I’m going to die here. How you always have a knack for making wrong decisions, you’ll never know. 

“Let her go.” Your eyes shoot open when you hear a familiar deep voice. Instead of being filled with fear at finally being caught, you can’t help but to feel relieved. 

“Felix!” you cry out. You try to crane your head to look at him but the man’s grip on your hair is too tight. 

“Let her go? Why? We were having a good time!” One of them laughs and you feel his grip on you tighten. You whimper in pain. “Do you wanna join in?” 

Felix doesn’t say anything, but you hear a soft, mechanical clicking sound. It’s too silent and you’re afraid that you know the reason why. Your eyes stay closed but you’re free, suddenly. As you begin to fall you brace to hit the concrete but you’re surprised when you don’t. A warm and steady arm wraps around your middle and you relax into Felix as the men scamper away. 

“He's fucking crazy, man. The bitch isn't worth it.” And like that, they are gone. You allow yourself to glance down at Felix and the gun he is holding, but you aren't intimidated anymore. He has gotten rid of the real threat. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks, not looking at you. You swallow, hating to be the target of his disappointment. The gun is put away and forgotten about and you slump out his grasp and onto the concrete. You shake your head at him, trying to indicate that you are okay, you’re not seriously hurt, but you can tell he doesn’t believe you. Instead he ushers you into a car that you hadn’t even noticed had appeared, obviously too caught up in the situation at hand. He opens the door for you and you climb in, noticing that he sits in the passenger seat, not the driver’s. You furrow your brow until you recognize Hyunjin in the driver’s seat, tapping furiously on the wheel. On your left you recognize the broad frame as Changbin, who seems to be more distressed than anyone else in the car. You hope for silence, but once again, you can never be so lucky. 

“How do you always manage to get yourself into such trouble?” Hyunjin laughs. He irritates you to no end, always so sure of himself and full of it. “First Jungwon, us, and now these thugs? Do you have a knack for finding trouble or does trouble find you?” You notice Felix tense, and you decide staying in silence is probably better to not irritate the men further. You look out the window instead as the car speeds off. 

Hyunjin continues, “Normally Chan would want us to blindfold you if we were taking you back to our place, but he told us not to bother this time. He seems incessant that there’s no reason to.” Does he ever shut up? “Expect for him to be pissed. He knew you were going to leave, though.” 

Now that was enough to break your silence. 

“He knew?” you ask, incredulous. 

“Of course. It was a test, after all. To see where your loyalties lie, if he threatens you and tells you not to escape, you’re much more likely to leave right after because you think you can get away with it.” Shit. Now you feel dumb. But instead of letting on, you scoff and turn your head back to the window, finding the view much more interesting. You’re shivering still from the cold despite the heat pumping through the air vents. Felix wordlessly takes off his coat and hands it to you, and while you want to be proud and reject the offer you can’t help but want for this chill in your bones to go away. His jacket is warm and you can smell the trace of his cologne, floral, like jasmine yet earthy.  

You couldn’t have been in the car for more than ten minutes, and you curse yourself, realizing that you really didn’t get as far as you thought. 

Then, you approach a long driveway, adorned with a large iron gate that would intimidate anyone that made it to this part of the city, encased in grime and rust that’s indicative of its age. The car drives down the winding roads with familiarity which puts you at ease and keeps you from feeling nauseous, which you feel grateful for. When you arrive at the front of the house, you are finally given the opportunity to take a look at where you have been staying, as previous circumstances hadn’t allowed you to do so. 

The exterior of the house is a little dreary, the age of the cracked brick and marble noticeable. Even in the dark you could tell everything else is well-taken care of, well-trimmed shrubbery and flower beds surprising you. You don’t get as much time to look around as you would like, though you do notice the sheer size of the house as you follow the men up the gravel pathway. Large front doors open up and you’re guided inside. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You and Felix walk in silence to your room. You’re almost ashamed to meet his eye. 

“How did you know where to find me?” you finally ask. 

“I came to bring you this,” he says, gesturing to what he had been holding. A hard brace for your wrist. “When I came to your room and you weren’t there, I panicked. You couldn’t have gotten far, but we jumped in the car right away.” 

“But… What about what Hyunjin said?” You ask. Meanwhile he starts to unwrap the bandage on your wrist, revealing the very swollen and purple affected area. You wince slightly. 

“About it being a test? I wouldn’t be surprised, you’re probably in deep shit with Chris.” He says. You notice that he uses a nickname when referring to the man but you don’t say anything. He pulls out a first aid kit and starts to sanitize the surface of your skin and it stings more than you’d like to admit. Still, he does so delicately, making sure his fingers don’t press onto your injury too harshly. “I didn’t think you would leave,” he admits. “It was really stupid, you do realize that, right? I was just… really hoping you would be smarter than that.” 

You scoff. “Stupid, got it. I’m sorry that I didn’t want to stay trapped with the mafia, but I saw my opportunity. I have a life out there I want to get back to! I can’t stay here for the rest of my life.” 

“That may be true, but you won’t have a life to get back to if you’re killed the moment you leave,” he points out. “I’m not trying to be malicious, but you have a huge target on your back. Even if it’s not Jungwon who comes for you, you’re affiliated with ENHA. People who are not as kind as we are will see you as a way to get to him and they’ll kill you in cold blood.” He delicately places the new brace onto your wrist, strapping it shut tight. You try not to think about how his touch lingers on your skin, that you can still feel where he touched you and how it makes your face heat up. Instead you try to flex your wrist to test the brace, finding that it provides enough support for you not to move it too intensely. Felix hums in approval. 

“Come with me,” he says. He takes you to the bathroom and gestures for you to sit on the toilet lid. You do, looking up at him inquisitively. You see that he has brought the first aid kit with him and he’s keen on tending to your other injuries. 

“I just don’t understand,” you say, breaking the silence. He takes an antiseptic wipe and starts to wipe away scratches on your head. “Just… Why do you care if I live or die?” 

“That’s a tough one,” he says. You can’t tell if he’s joking. “I guess you can say I don’t like Yang Jungwon. Our feud with them has lasted for several years and he’s just a nuisance. He kills people in cold blood and is remorseless. I’m sure you’ve seen it first hand just how manipulative he can be, and we really just want to make sure that he doesn’t do anything to undermine us. That being said, you’re a benefit to SKZ. I know you might not see it yet, but you might be the ticket we need to finally one-up them. If you’re dead then we’re back to an even playing field.” 

“What about the infiltration? Don’t you have plans with Lee Know?” you ask. 

“Oh, Minho? He’s a very skilled person, he excels at this kind of thing. We’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while and we finally have an opportunity to do so. I hear that they’re planning to start up an underground drug-ring, something that would put us both in the public eye more than we want. Minho is going to try to find out what he can about it and then we can proceed.” 

Felix bends down, kneeling before you. Your breath hitches before you can think about it; it’s not fitting for someone who looks so majestic to be below you, you think. 

He starts to clean the scrapes on your knees. They’re bloody and raw from your fall and you’re only now starting to feel the aftereffects from it. You’re grateful that he’s taking the time to tend to your injuries, scanning your entire body from head to toe until he’s content. “You’re too good for all of this,” he finally says. “Someone like you should have never gotten involved in our lifestyle. You have so much potential, I can just see it. How did you even get stuck in this life?” The question is so intimate that it takes you a moment to process that he asked it. 

“I didn’t know who he was when I started dating him,” you admit. “Like you said, he’s manipulative. He’s mastered the art of deception. When I met him, he was charming and sweet, you know? It feels dumb to say, but by the time he admitted to me he was part of the mafia, I was head over heels in love with him. By the time I realized that the Jungwon I knew was just a facade it was too late, he caused me to completely rely on him for everything. I lost everything, Felix.” He nods in understanding, looking up at you before he stiffens. 

“Your neck… Did he do that, too?” he asks. There’s no judgment in his voice. You realize that the makeup you applied so diligently before must have completely rubbed off by now. You sigh. 

“Yeah. The night Chan found me, Jungwon and I got into a fight. It was my fault, but he threatened me, and it got physical, and…” 

“I don’t know what happened, but I severely doubt it could have been your fault,” he says. You decide not to divulge the details of your argumentThis is the first time you have admitted the situation out loud, and you feel very vulnerable. For some reason, you really want to tell Felix, despite the tears threatening to spill from your lashes. 

“He knocked me unconscious outside of the club, and when I woke up, I was here.” He finishes bandaging up your injuries and he stands, stretching his back and popping his joints. There’s blood on his white dress shirt. Your blood, though you don’t remember how it got there. 

“When you left tonight, where were you planning to go? You weren’t going–” 

“Not back to him, God no. Um… I have a sister, I was just trying to get in touch.” He seems content with your answer. You wonder if he’s just going to relay all of that information back to Chan. You feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, though, so you can’t really bring yourself to care. 

“I don’t know how long you’re going to be here. But for now, this is the safest place for you. So, try not to do anything else that’s stupid.” He turns to the door to leave, but you find yourself calling out. 

“Felix?” He halts and his eyes meet yours as you call his name. “Thank you.” There’s a lot of meaning to convey with just two words, but you hope you get your point across; thank you, for saving my life, for talking with me, for treating my wounds. He seems to understand. He graces you with a small smile before leaving 

You take a minute to breathe and look at yourself in the mirror. You are definitely not the same person you were two days ago. You smile at the reflection of yourself that has been beaten and bruised, and you hardly recognize her. You open the door to retreat to your bedroom for the night, but are shocked by what you see. 

For the second time in one night, Bang Christopher Chan sits on your bed, waiting expectantly. 

“We need to talk,” he says. 

He looks pissed. His glare sends shivers straight up your spine, and it takes everything for you to not break down and cry on the spot. It makes you feel guilty for everything that happened tonight, but you have to shake that thought. You were justified, you need to stand strong. You sit on the bed next to him without him gesturing for you to do so, as it feels like what he wants. You aren’t stupid enough to disobey him again. 

You look him in the eye. 

“I’d like to think I’m a kind person,” he says. “I don’t ask much of you–”

“I’m sorry,” you interrupt. 

“Speak when spoken to. I won’t tell you again.” He clears his throat. “I don’t ask much of you. In fact, I gave you just two, simple, commands that you couldn’t be bothered to follow. Do not contact Yang Jungwon, and do not leave. What did you do?” He looks at you but you stay silent. “Answer.” 

“I left.” 

“That’s right. You must be pretty stupid, Y/N. Stupid enough to somehow end up here, and even more stupid to disobey me. I knew you were going to try to push your luck,” he says. “Explain yourself.” 

“I…” you gulp. You decide honesty is the best way to go about this. “I got scared. I know you told me not to leave and I didn’t listen, and I truly apologize but I remembered how trapped I felt when I was with Jungwon, and, well… the prospect of staying here for the rest of my life really really scared me.  I wanted to see my sister and tell her I’m alright. My phone is gone, and she probably thinks I’m dead. I envisioned a world where I  never got to see her again and make things right, and I thought this would be my only chance.” 

He sits in silence for a moment, contemplating. “This will be the last time I extend such kindness to you,” he says slowly. “From here on, I want your complete loyalty to me and the rest of SKZ.I will ensure your safety from ENHA and any potential threat. For now, that’s all you need. If you try to undermine me one more time, I will make sure you never see your sister again. Take that any way you want.” He stands. 

“Hyunjin said that this was a test,” you say cautiously. “Are you going to punish me?” 

“I thought I made myself very clear that there would be consequences to your actions,” he says. “I will go lightly on you, just this time. I’m being very nice, just so you are aware: I am not usually known by others as a kind person.” He sighs. “Pick a number between one and ten.” 

“Um… five?” you say, trying to play it safe and pick a number that’s not too high and not too low. His hands slide down to his waistband, unbuckling his belt and taking it out of the loops. 

“Lift your shirt up and turn around.” 

You do, with shaky hands, turn around and lift your shirt up so just your back is revealed to Chan. You don’t protest, worrying that that could somehow make things worse. 

You steady your breath and brace for impact. 

Thwack. 

One time, Chan’s leather belt comes down and hits the skin of your back hard. It’s obvious he has no intention of holding back and it stings; you bite down on your bottom lip to suppress your cries. 

Thwack. 

The second time, just as hard. 

Five times Chan hits you hard with your belt and you can’t hold back your tears any longer, though you do stay strong in the decision to not let him see them. After the fifth hit, you stand and pull down your shirt. 

“Rest up,” he tells you. “Tomorrow you’ll meet everyone else.” 

It’s stupid of you to think about, but you practically disregarded the fact that there are other members you have not met yet. You’re not entirely looking forward to it, though you don’t say so.  

“Does everyone know?” you ask him just as he’s about to leave. “Does everyone know that I’m associated with Jungwon?” 

“Everyone knows,” he confirms. “I trust my group implicitly. I felt no need to hide it from them, though at this point I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of.” You nod your head at the information, lost in thought. 

Then Chan leaves and you’re finally alone. When you lie down in bed you finally take note of how your body feels after all this time. Every muscle aches and you can’t lay down on your back and once again you ignore the incessant throbbing in your skull. When you lay down in the bed to sleep, it’s on the comfiest, most luxurious mattress that you’ve ever laid on. You stare at the wall until you drift off with a dreamless yet peaceful sleep.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

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[littlenahsstuff]

When will my life begin- Pt2

Chloe Charming x Red x F!reader

Synopsis: you are adjusting to school life with your favorite roomies and unknown feelings quickly pop up. Castlecoming is around the corner and you aren’t sure what’s happening with it.

Warnings: still a little angst but really cute. Not proofread. I think that’s it. We’re learning guys!

Word count: 3.4k

Pt 1.

“Y/n please, sit down, dinner will be brought shortly,” Rapunzel-you mean, your Mom says. She glances at your fingers nervously tapping the chair.

“Yes, of course.” You sit down at the long table. At least two feet to your left sits your new brother. He’s pretty young still. Your parents told you he was ten but he was decently tall for his age.

“Hey Y/n, I know you are still adjusting like mom says but do you think you could come to my tourney game tomorrow?” He exclaims. Your mom looks nervous at the mention but quickly smiles. You are too. Your younger brother William is surprisingly very sweet already.

When you first met he seemed impartial to you but quickly found out your shared love for birds. It was one of the only books you had. You have no idea what tourney is though.

“I would like that very much,” you respond. He grins but doesn’t say anything else as the best looking meal you’ve ever seen comes out.

You wait before taking anything, trying to gauge what is an acceptable portion. Even then you avoid the deserts. Once you got a cupcake for successfully getting your powers to work. You had only a bite before it was snatched out of your hands when you failed but it was the best thing you’ve ever eaten until now.

During dinner it was nearly quiet save for the occasional question about you.

“Y/n, what do you enjoy doing?” Your Father asked.

“Uh… I like reading and drawing. I’ve always wanted to work with paint but um…. she said it was too messy,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. Your mother gave you a bittersweet look before an idea popped into her head.

“I too like those things, in fact painting is my favorite hobby. We should try it together sometime!” She suggests it and you think you’re life couldn’t get any bet-

“Your majesty, I apologize for the interruption but I have two letters. Both are for Princess Y/n, one from Auredon Prep,” some footmen says.

“Very well,” the queen says. He walks over and hands you the two letters. Your father raises an eyebrow.

You open it and read,

“Dear Princess Y/n,

Auredon prep must notify you that, due to extremely limited space, you must either start your school year this following Monday or be forced to stay behind.

We understand your particular circumstances and will offer free tutoring, exemption for all assignments during the two weeks you have missed, as well as counseling. We hope we see you early.

In addition to the limited space you will end up rooming with two students who have requested you. Red of Hearts and Chloe Charming.

Thank you,

Auredon Prep Staff.”

“Oh dear,” your mother says. “It’s up to you sweetie.”

You think about it, while you’ve had zero to none experience with the real world the offer of school and rooming with your two saviors is tempting. You don’t know what to do.

“If it’s alright I think I need the night to think on it?” You ask.

“Of course,” your Dad responds immediately.

Your mother nods too.

****

You get to your room, a stunning and very spacious purple room, and flop on your bed with the other letter in your hand. There is no address or name besides your name.

You tear it open.

“Hi Y/n, Sup,

We wanted to write to see how things are going. OH it’s Chloe, and Red!

We hope it’s okay but we heard you might be coming to Auredon prep and wanted to see if we could room with you.

You haven’t missed too much here. The classes are wonderfully boring. Not all of them! And if you are worried I can totally help you out.

This school is actually interesting on occasion, apparently they brought back some elective magic classes to “better teach the students control and the dangers of it all” but sometimes it kicks. I managed to make the teacher breakdance. It was cool.

That and the food here is not bad.

Anyways we respect your decision very much, but we would totally want you to be our roomie. Yup!

Chloe, and Red.”

The letter makes you giggle and your feet are kicking in the air weirdly. It seems like you’re excited about it now. It’s decided, you’ll go.

***

It’s your first day at Auredon. You were amazed by how magical everything looked. Your suitcase was heavy from your books but you lugged it in fairly easily, the stairs were a bit much.

When you opened the door Chloe immediately jumped up and squealed.

“Y/n you’re here! Come in, come in!” She drags you to what you presume will be your bed and sets the suitcase next to it.

“Good to see you,” Red softly smiles and sits on her bed across from yours.

“I’m glad I’m rooming with you too, thank you!” You reply cheerfully.

“Oh it’s no problem, we did promise we’d be there for you and besides I get how hard this whole, new world thing, can be. We got your backs Y/n” Red says. Her sincerity makes you blush a bit internally.

“Yes, and if it makes you feel better, we all are still new to the school. I’m sure barely anyone will notice you” Chloe adds.

***

She was in fact very wrong.

School was hard; as expected when you don’t know anything, but what was harder was the rumors that got worse by the day. You were this celebrated princess when you were missing apparently. You had a festival that took place on your birthday and everything! But when you turned out to be not that smart and without anything that set you apart in a good way, you were talked about a lot. Loudly too. It’s not even that you’re an idiot, you just legitimately do not know basic algebra or history.

Today was bad. The daughter of Mirabel Madrigal was a massive gossip and she did not inherent her quiet aunts nature. She saw you get an D minus on your first test and was in your history class when you were called upon and completely forgot the name of the school. Mariposa wasn’t a complete jerk about it, in fact the worst part was you can’t get too mad because she sounded worried when she told the entire school.

Chloe was the first to find out, Red didn’t have too many other friends unlike Chloe who was the best in Fencing club. Chloe didn’t exactly know what to do but it’s now she realized she should make good on her promise and help you out. Red was supposed to get help from her too. She felt a little ashamed. So she decided to remedy it the next night.

“Hey Red, Y/n?” You were so lost in the equation muttering to yourself about the different variables and how the heck some pig would need 18 pieces of coal per day for a random project.

“Uh… Y/n?” Red asks too, she gave up on the same problem a minute ago and was doing all the easier ones first. You now look up at them.

“Oh, did you say something? I’m sorry it’s just, I’m having a bit difficultly with some of the language here. What even is a square root? Pigs are mammals not plants and if I remember correctly, neither is this coal stuff!” You groan, flopping back onto your back.

“Want a little help guys? That problem does look difficult but I am fairly confident I can explain it better than the two year one math teachers. They aren’t very thorough. Don’t feel bad.” Chloe’s offer has you sitting up again and Red flips back to the question.

“Yes please,” you whisper, grateful Chloe is able and willing to help.

“And for the record….” She starts, “failing a test does not mean you’re dumb. Bookish intelligence is only one trait amongst thousands that can make a person good.” Now you know she knows which embarrasses you, but does Red? There’s no way she doesn’t.

“You’ll find what makes you tick tock tick,” red adds. She definitely knows too. “For me it was dance and art.” You sigh.

“Thanks, a lot truly. Anyways, please oh wise Chloe show me your brainy ways.” You say, causing all of you to giggle.

“Wish pleasure!” You weren’t perfect still but at least by the end of the night you found out what a square root was and even worked through the hardest problem. The teachers at the school are actually really bad because, while it wasn’t immediate, you could understand what Chloe was explaining. Red could too!

***

You start feeling like a third wheel by fifth week. You couldn’t understand the burning ache came from everytime they talked about castle coming. They were secretive beyond belief about it. They talked about it incessantly but you only caught bits and pieces. You yearned to know why they weren’t excited outwardly while talking about it. You couldn’t tell why it hurt so much and you felt bad about it. Whatever it was didn’t seem so healthy and you hadn’t felt like it since your time locked up.

You often shamefully stared at them while they were interacting. It was interesting to see such affection and how they felt a little more comfortable with you being there.

At the moment you were listening to them talk about dresses for castlecoming. Over the few weeks that and dance proposals was all anyone could talk about. You were told everyone could go but you didn’t want to be alone. You also didn’t want to ask to get a fancy dress. Your parents paying for your school supplies alone felt like a massive gift.

You didn’t want to see them have fun without you and it made you feel guilty as heck.

You stayed awake the majority of the fifth night from castlecoming. The next morning you looked like a zombie. Chloe had to go into practice early but when you awoke with a groan before realizing you had roommates again, Red looked at you funny.

“Y/n you don’t sound so good, and pardon me if it’s blunt but you look dead. Are you okay?” Red comes over to you. You sit up.

“Oh yeah I’m fine, it was just a weird night. Anyways um, so. Can you tell me more about your hobby’s? Chloe told me all about hers and it sounded cool but not something I would enjoy. Other than her gardening club. I might join that one.” You rub your eyes and yawn. Red sits on the edge of your bed.

“Of course. I like to work with spray paint the most, but it typically requires more room so I stick with regular paint nowadays. There’s actually an art club here, I joined it. The people there are pretty quiet and it’s relaxing. But when we show each other our work everyone is really supportive. The club ranges from people who don’t have any experience to those who are really good. I like to think I’m on that side.” She says wiggling her brows. You smile, it sounds like it’s right up your alley.

You shuffle a little. “Could I maybe join you sometime? I don’t want to intrude, but I do love art,” you admit. She nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! That would be so fun! I got to admit I was feeling a little jealous over you and Chloe spending some time together at a club. I wanna hang with you too!” She says but you’re confused again.

“If this sounds stupid, forget about it. What… what is jealousy?” You softly ask. She looks a little surprised but not completely aghast.

“Oh uh… it’s like an icky feeling within your soul. Like you want something and because others have it you get a little sad? Chloe could probs tell you better than me. Jealousy is normal but in some cases it could complicate things and if you let it get the best of you it could hurt your relationships. But again, it’s completely normal!” She finishes, sure of her explanation. It made her feel good that she could answer one of your questions and not just Chloe for once. You kinda are frozen now.

“Oh, I get it now. Thank you,” You say. Red doesn’t want to make you feel stupid and you already look uncomfortable, so she decides to drop it. Something she later realizes, she shouldn’t have done.

***

The weekend finally came and your roommates worried about something. What you didn’t know was they wanted to ask you to go with them to the dance. As far as you were concerned, however, couples went only with each other. You were avoiding them and the dance was this Sunday. Friday night they had to ask you to give you enough time.

Despite everything that happened during the original castle-coming at Merlin Academy, Auredon Prep would be much better. They knew that. They were still nervous about it and could tell you wanted to know why they were talking about it so quiet but they couldn’t tell you what happened yet. They also couldn’t agree on how to ask you to go. There was no time now, they needed to just get it over with and ask you to not only go to the dance as friends but as their third.

It was wild for both when they figured out they both liked you a lot. They think you are sweet, kind, funny, and the hardest worker they’ve ever seen. Your refreshing take on life reminded them of young Bridget and Ella at the same time and while they didn’t want to think how weird it sounded, they loved those traits.

After you got back to the room, as soon as curfew hit they were a little worried. As far as they know you only did two clubs and had two besties so far. You walked into the room and saw them staring at you.

“Hi guys!” You switch up. You know they know you’ve been avoiding them at this point. It will be okay because everything will go back to normal after the dance…. You hope.

“Hi Y/n” they both say In sync. You smile but it’s whiped away after Chloe says,

“Could you sit down for a sec? It’s nothing bad, we just wanna ask you a few questions.” You tense a little but comply.

“Are you going to the dance?” Red starts off. You shake your head no. Both Chloe and her look at each other with slight frowns.

“Why?” Chloe questions. You fiddle with your hands.

“Well, aren’t you not supposed to go if you don’t have anyone ask you or friends that aren’t going single. Nobody told me the rules but so far that’s what I’ve observed. And also, I don’t have anything fancy to wear. I don’t want to ask the king and- I mean my parents. I don’t know, I’ll go if you want me there but just… I don’t want to be left alone.” You admit and their eyes widen.

“No we really do want you there and you can go or not, any student can go. About the dress thing, Chloe has hers but I’m an insane last minute shopper. We were gonna pick it up tomorrow. You can pick yours out too!” Red says frantically.

“Yeah and you haven’t been here all day but your parents sent you an envelope with what seems like a pretty fat stack of cash in it and a letter. I’m assuming that it’s for the dress anyways.” Chloe adds, you are a little shocked. You are so close to saying you’ll go but then they grab each others hands and your heart drops.

The real reason you’ve been avoiding them was so you don’t show them you’re jealous of the both of them. You don’t know why but you assume it means wanting both of them. Why you have no idea. They’re awesome but it’s not like you know what love is when it comes to you experiencing it.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You zoned out a little, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to that bad.” Chloe offers.

“I don’t want to lose you,” you start sobbing and both of them look very confused from what little you can see through your bleary eyes.

“Hey, hey you aren’t what’s wrong?” Chloe rubs your shoulder. You sniffle. Red looks a little frozen now. Unsure of what to do with herself.

“I think I’m jealous but I don’t know why and I really don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry for avoiding you but I didn’t want you to know about it and now you know anyways! I don’t even know what I’m feeling but I really like you both and-“ Chloe comes over to you and kisses you on the cheek. You freeze. Thinking that Red was gonna get really angry. Chloe kissed you to make you feel better and now it’s such a mess and it’s all your fault.

“Shh, Y/n. Deep breaths. We aren’t going to leave you, we like you way too much!” Chloe soothes.

“The both of us do.” Red adds with a nod and she leans closer to you.

“I do have to apologize though, I may have been a little hard when explaining jealousy to you. It’s not that big of a deal unless you were screaming angry about us and sometimes it can be justified.” She pauses, your sniffling has lessened. “I am gonna try to be more careful when I say this but… I think you like-like us Y/n. And thats okay! I mean it’s like really obvious but we understand you don’t even know the signs yourself. I get it’s a lot, I had to have this conversation with Chloe around a month ago myself. But Chloe and I have talked and-“

Chloe interrupts Red, “We like you too. So much! We can take things slow but tonight we were gonna ask if you wanted to be our date to castle-coming romantically. Do you?” Everyone is frozen now with bated breath. Your brain is on overload now and even though this is everything you could have wanted it’s so much.

Red tries to break the tension, “No presh.”

It snaps you out of it.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! I would love to!” You cheer and hug Chloe tightly before jumping up and hugging Red. She flinched but seems to melt right into it before you notice.

“Wait…” you stop, “does this… how does this work am I like your girlfriend or is this just me hanging with you more than platonically or- do we kiss for real? Do three person couples exist. I’ve heard of the seven dwarves but that’s it…” you trail and they giggle.

“It means that yes we kiss, and yes you are our girlfriends if you want to be” Chloe answers.

“And don’t worry they exist, especially in Wonderland!” Red says. “Maddox my old tutor was once in one.”

“Oh, girlfriend. I really really like the sound of that.” You say it softly as if it’s a promise. You’re stomach is replaced with fluttery sensations and instead of your heart hurting it feels as if it would burst into giggles.

“Can we maybe, kiss you?” Red asks, face flushed. Chloe nods too.

“Please-“ you make out before reds soft plump lips are on yours and it’s the best sensation ever. It’s hard and impactful. It gets replaced by an equally as awesome feeling when Chloe kisses you, it’s still strong but soft too in a way that tickles. They kiss each other and it’s not long before you are all covered in Red’s signature lip color. You giggle.

“So this is love,” you say dazed and they both burst into full on cackles. “Wait- what did I say?” They both just kiss you on the cheek and continue making out until you somehow manage to fall asleep all in your bed. Thankfully it’s fit for royalty. You are left excited for whats to come, especially getting to dance with your new girlfriends.

[mayaree-darling]

Kissing Bleeding Mouths// Blade

Pairing: Blade x StellaronHunter!Reader Synopsis: He’d call you his associate, but you’re way past the formalities. That’s not the right word for the both of you, anyway, he doesn’t want that to be you and him. You really don’t know what you do to him, do you? Warnings: OOC Blade because I know almost nothing about him and his lore except that I want him to come home (he’s gonna come home I know it it’s a canon event); Can’t do full spicy because I don’t do that stuff so I did a “different” kinda spicy. Not exactly fluffy (I’d say borderline obsessive, if anything, this relationship is toxic y’all) Fic Length:  2.1k~ (Unedited (because I’m tired)) From Aree: Hey, everyone, it’s been a while! Happy to be back. Always wanted to write for gaming fandoms, too, so we’re starting with Honkai Star Rail (I have a Genshin SAGAU fic that’s been in the works for so long now and it’s still a work in progress). I got inspired by a POV playlist I came across on YouTube by greatdain, and this is just a POV under that song that I ended up extending lmao. Anyways, enjoy!

A part of him wishes you knew what you did to him.

Soft smiles and softer laughter only he witnessed in peaceful moments spared during a mission. A joke here and there he thought annoying at first, but found himself thinking about the longer he’s in your absence (he plans on taking it to his grave that he found them all well crafted. Hell would have to freeze over before he let you know it helped him sleep to think of how you made each joke at the spur of the moment). Even gone, you’d still annoy him. So stupid. Stupid and naive you. How did you end up in their group, anyway, so sweet and innocent as you were? How did he end up wrapped around your little finger? A part of him wishes you knew what you did to him. But the logical side of him - the one that only knew the taste of blood and the draw of a sword - it forced him into silence.

Because he didn’t know what you would do with that kind of information.

What would you do had you seen him battle with himself for hours after returning to HQ if he should go and see you? How he all but paced around his room, thinking of a reason to enter yours? And now, here he was, his best effort of holding himself back was trying to walk slower (he wasn’t one for holding himself back in the first place, but the effort is there all the same). But surely you knew, right? Surely you felt his eyes on you as you made your way around a party or sat across him at a meeting, almost desperately trying to catch your eyes and… and what? What was he hoping for? What was he hoping for you to do?

“What do you think you’re doing, Blade?” the question is a whisper, almost a breath you don’t want others to hear, but there was no one to listen but the man himself, and Blade would cut down anything that dared interrupt now.

“Figure it out yourself.” If he had any ounce of honesty and softness in him, he’d admit he wasn’t quite sure himself, but that was just what effect you had on him. Blade remembered looking for you after you left the ballroom to get some air, finding you in a deserted hallway. He doesn’t quite remember how he ended up pinning your wrists to the nearest wall, lips ghosting over the spot where your shoulder meets your neck, waiting. For what specifically, he’s not sure either. You keep making him second-guess himself. He knows he can take you in a fight - your wrists feel so fragile under his fingers - he knows he can take you - you haven’t exactly been trying to fight him off all this time - but still, he hesitates. If he lets himself press his mouth to exposed skin, have a taste of what he’d been denied of for so long in your presence, well, it felt like crossing a line he could never come back from.

“Hmm, if I was going to take a guess, it almost feels like you’re about to eat me.” You’re trying to make light of the situation, as you’ve always done. Yet he does not scoff, or ignore you, or move on from the conversation. Instead, he feels your laughter come to a stop when he sighs into your skin. He agreed, it certainly did feel like he was going to eat you. What would happen if he sunk his teeth into you, nipped at your skin - what else would he break between the two of you besides your flesh?

“What would you do if I did?” He closes his eyes, trying to reel himself in. Maybe he can still control himself. Breathe in, breathe out. He curses silently through gritted teeth. Blade should have known better than to do that. Now he’s enveloped in your scent, the only thing he can feel under his touch is your warmth, it was all you, you, you.

Blades feel you shift in position and instinctively tightens his hold on your wrists. It must’ve hurt - he’s barely aware of how much strength he’s using - but you don’t make a peep. He can’t risk letting you walk out now, even if he still doesn’t know what he’s doing - what happens after you leave him in this hallway? Will he enter HQ tomorrow to find out you’d requested another partner without so much as another word to him? Not that he’d just let things end there - he’d probably make sure you end up his partner again. But he would still prefer to see this conversation through.

He’s pulled back when he feels your breath on his ear. You let out a puff of air - a small laugh - that has him more aware of the situation you’re in. You’re so, so close - and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It wouldn’t be fun if I just answered that, now, won’t it? So let me ask, since you’re the one in control right now, yeah?” Blade’s not sure if you meant to brush your lips to the shell of his ear, but you’re speaking again before he can think of a proper reaction. “What do you want me to do?”

Why would he know what you’d do? All he’s been able to think about is what he’d do to you. A part of him wants to strangle you until you hated him. What have you done to him? Wants to crush you in an embrace so tight he’d permanently feel you in his arms long after you’re gone. Kiss you until he could drown in your bleeding mouth. What did you do? Why is he like this, all because of you?

And all too soon the answer comes to him clearly.Blade’s hands leave your wrists in an instant, instead coming to grab your face, forcing you to meet his eyes. He doesn’t have to see his own expression to know he looks beyond deranged - he can feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins, a smile twitching the corners of his mouth upward into a lopsided grin, eyes blown wide. His thumbs try to gently caress your cheeks, and yet you can both feel him tremble with barely restrained excitement.

“I want you to break,” he ghosts his lips over yours. Where should he bite first? “But I want to be the one to break you.”

 It would be so easy to do, too. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. To make you submit to his every beck and call, have you running to do his very bidding, his words more than gospel the moment they reached you. By the end of this little game of sorts, he’d have you kneeling.

And yet, and yet, and yet.

The automatic doors slide open to let him in and Blade locks it behind him without much thought, like it was second nature, as he has already done time and time before.

You sit on the edge of your bed with your back facing him, one leg spread to the floor and your other knee pulled to your chest, phone in hand, softly humming a tune as you scroll through your messages (was it those damned crew members of the train again?) He can’t help but be aware of every little thing you do, every little thing related to you. He knows that song you’re singing.

He’s heard it played on the streets of Belobog the first time you sang along and he hears it again as you lay next to him the first night you spent together. You may have thought him asleep with his eyes closed and even breathing, but that was your mistake. He listened to you sing that song in the dark, so very aware of your proximity, each small breath you took, an intake of air longer than the rest as you hummed, and every time you made the slightest alteration to your position under the sheets, trying not to “wake” him.

To him, to Blade, it felt like he never truly left that moment in time. Each time he lays down for the night, if he can fool himself enough, he can hear you humming. You’re in bed with him, surely. Just an inch away from touching the tips of your fingers or the edge of your face. He’d kill to even graze at your skin, but he’s not dumb enough to try - he knows the moment he does, the illusion would end, the spell would break, and you and your voice with it.

Blade relishes the sound of your singing now, in the flesh, unhindered by his own imagination. He’s so close now. A few steps and you’re in arms reach. He can just hold his hands out and then… and then…

You raise your head the longer he doesn’t say anything, most likely wondering why he hadn’t made his presence known. Normally he’d stand in your line of sight and stare at you until you finally decide to give him your full attention, be it to go over the mission plans or just to provide him entertainment. The Blade in front of you right now, however… He doesn’t know what face he’s making. Is it carefully blank, or do you see the desperation he’s trying so hard to keep in check?

“Blade? What can I do for you?” you maneuver your body so you’re facing him, but you don’t stand and come closer. You don’t try to close the distance in any way. You stay where you are, on the bed, with him by the door.

And that was the problem.

In few quick and agitated strides, he reaches for your wrist.

“That’s something I don’t hear very often, especially when it’s directed at me,” you laugh like there was nothing wrong with your predicament. Like he didn’t just say he’d rather have you broken than hopelessly in love like he really wanted, like he really craved. “However, you don’t expect me to just accept that without a fight, yes?”

“Of course not,” his thumb grazes at your lip, imagining a cut right straight in the middle. Imagining swiping the blood across your face. Imagining the clean-up afterward. “The process is more than half the fun. I look forward to it already. Do you?”

“I suppose, to an extent, but that’s not what I meant,” you smile tenderly, eyes soft, gently caressing his cheeks. Blade can’t help the feeling that you’re treating him like he’s the only one who’s not in on the joke, the one who just can’t seem to get it. “What makes you think you won’t break first?”

“Blade?”

He looks at your wrist in his hand. So easy to break. Just a quick twist of his own wrist and he’d hear it snap under his fingers, have you crying in his arms. Would he try to soften your crying with murmurs of assurance, or would he tell you to scream louder? He doesn’t get to know the answer.

He holds your wrist like a feather, you must have noticed how lenient he’s being. Tight enough to know its unmistakable presence, but not enough to crush. When was the last time he was aware of how fragile something was?

“Blade? What’s wrong?”

He raises his eyes to meet yours. You don’t flinch, or try to move away. You stare at him, watching his face for anything that might give way to what was going on. Instead of letting you find out anything for yourself, he slowly kneels down until he’s eye level with you.

He all but barks out a laugh. He puts pressure on the tips of his fingers, almost trying to crack into your skull. “Do you really think I’d let myself break first? You’re out of your mind, darling.”

His throat burns at the very idea, bile rising up from his stomach, but he either said it now or lived in secret for the rest of your time together. He thought of marking you in other ways, but this would have to suffice for now.

“I yield.”

He watches as your eyes widen ever so slightly before you smile, ever so slightly, eyes ever so soft. You cup his cheek with your free hand and he all but melts into the attention you’re so willingly giving him. When you lean in, he’s already meeting you halfway, but just before your lips touch, you hold him in place with your hand on his face, mouths just barely grazing the other. He finds himself staring at your eyes which seem to gleam something dark.

He feels your hand slowly creep from his cheek to his hair, softly brushing at strands before tugging - once, twice - at the ends. “Oh, I don’t just think so, Blade.”

You smile like you know a secret he doesn’t, a joke he can’t quite get.

“I know.”

✨ Masterlist ✨ 

Taglist: 💛@anime-allover  💛@faeriessky  💛 @prksolon 💛 @dai-tsukki-desu

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and belong to their respective creators. Their portrayal is merely my own interpretation of them and may not be accurate to their intended characterization. I stake no claim to the original works, only to the ideas and plot of the fictitious stories I’ve written them into.

[mcytgirly]

Non talked about opinion, but ‘Cool About It’ by Boy Genius is so desert duo coded and I haven’t seen anyone talk about it. So please take part in me analyzing the lyrics of ‘Cool About It’ to show you why it’s desert duo.

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool (Found each other always, even if unintentionally. Always there to play the games.)

And make fun of the cowboys (ie. ranchers??) with the neck tattoos (I like to think soulmate marks in double life were on their necks.)

Ask you easy questions about work and school (every single small talk they’ve had in the life series since 3rd life)

I'm trying to be cool about it (the two of them literally haven’t mentioned what happened in 3rd life since like double life. I know as actual people their lives didn’t change obviously, but as characters they did. They were completely changed because of that desert, and yet they’re expected to be ‘cool about it’)

Feelin' like an absolute fool about it (idiots in love?? Need I say more.)

Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it (Scar has never once gotten mad at Grian for all the times he’s hurt him. Outside of double life Scar hasn’t even really confronted Grian about it. Yes, Scar said the “you stab a man in the back” and “it’s for your secret soulmate” but he’s never fully been mad at Grian.)

Tellin' myself I can always do without it (I like to think that yes, both Grian and Scar never left the desert. But Grian tried to and failed, just like him trying to convince himself that he doesn’t need Scar. Well Scar never left the desert out of choice, he always goes back to Grian.)

Knowin' that it probably isn't true (Neither of them can do this without each other. Just Grian still tries to get away and Scar hasn’t. They need each other.)

I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask (The entirety of third life was the two of them literally against the world. The two of them would go anywhere with each other if the other asked. Literally all of their deaths in double life was an adventure they went on either separately or together.)

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets" (They both hurt each other, and made each other lose lives. Though Grian pushes away Scar because he doesn’t want to hurt Scar again. Well no matter what Grian does, Scar still goes back! Scar doesn’t regret any of it.)

I remember it's impossible to pass your test (The entirety of every scam Scar has committed. Grian has never fallen for one, it was always Scar who fell for Grians. For example, Scar giving Grian a life in last life, and the entirety of their cactus trade in secret life.)

But I'm trying to forget about it (GRIAN WANTS TO FORGET, SCAR DOESN’T. NEITHER OF THEM EVER DO)

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it (“Scar put your clothes back on!”)

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it (Grian being the one to tell Scar, “She’s dead Scar. You won.” in Secret life. And the entirety of “the voices want a fight” in third life)

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it (Once you win all the tiny details come back, but during the games you remember everything. So Scar remembers third life in last life but not on Hermitcraft. So every single season Grian always hopes he’ll come back and he’ll have forgotten what happened, he’s stuck having every single detail swallow him whole. He wishes he could use his hands again without seeing blood on them. But forgetting meant forgetting those lilacs and poppies, and Grian couldn’t live in a universe where he didn’t remember what those flowers smell like. Scar wishes he could remember everything yearns to never have to forget again, until he then wins secret life and realizes winning is to much to carry. Not when the memories haunt him everywhere and everyday for the rest of his life. He yearns to wake up one morning and forget everything, to never feel that loneliness again, but that would mean forgetting the desert, Scar can’t live in a universe where he doesn’t miss the feeling of sand underneath fingernails.)

Knowin' that it probably isn't true (Though contrary to the prior statement, both of their biggest fears is the other forgetting everything)

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like (After Scar won Scar was able to understand why Grian was so avoidant and never spoke about the life series outside of the games)

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind. I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie (Never apologized outside of 3rd life. They just don’t bring it up, they lie. Just like when Grian asked Scar if he wanted to be friends and Scar HAD to say no because he had to LIE)

But we don't have to talk about it (They never actually talked about what happened outside of the games!! They’ve never fully brought up 3rd life since the beginning of last life. They were never going to talk about it. )

I can walk you home and practice method acting (The both of them act like it doesn’t matter, but it does. It does matter. It eats them alive. It’s what brings them back to each other in every life, is every game, in every universe. They’re just ACTING)

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning (Whenever they’re around each other they just have the memories of everything before this. They would forever be trapped by the memories of every moment they’ve ever been together. They will always go back. They will always feel like they’re drowning.)

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing. Even though we know it isn't true (They just want life to go back to how it was before. They’re just idiots in love. They just want to be a part of each others lives. They hate each other, they love each other more than anything. They want to be a part of each others days, yet they’re going to betray each other in ever lifetime. They’re going to avoid each other for the rest of their existence, they’re going to find each other again in EVERY SINGLE LIFETIME.)

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[ghostofskywalker]

How about a loki ficlet where you are on a mission to find this bookshop but it doesn't appear on Google maps and loki has to help you find it?

(Get some desert to go with that wine bby you deserve it!!!)

i definitely didn't skip getting dessert today, don't worry! this is more platonic than romantic, but i hope you enjoy it :)

words: 633

loki laufeyson masterlist

A City Adventure

Not even bothering with a greeting (or a knock), you stepped into Loki’s room and found him sitting on his bad, an open book in his hands. “You have magical powers right?” 

Understandably, he didn’t want to answer your question right away. “Why?” 

“I need your help.” 

He looked at you like you had three heads and echoed his earlier sentiments. “Why?” 

“I need to find this bookshop, and it’s not coming up on my phone.” Normally you would feel weird about asking a literal god to help you with an errand, especially a god that had tried to take control of the city just a few years prior, but you weren’t afraid of Loki. In fact, you had been growing closer to him as of late, and the two of you have bonded over your shared love of books and quiet spaces to read them. You were confident that once Loki knew the reason of your plight, he would lend his skills to your aid. 

That, and he wasn’t usually allowed out of the tower, and you could only imagine how cooped up he was feeling, so any chance to leave would be a golden opportunity. 

“Do you have the address?” Clearly you had caught the god’s attention now. 

You nodded. “Yeah, but my phone says there’s nothing at that lot when I look at the directions.”

“Why don’t you just use a map?” 

“You know, you’re being awfully resistant to the one person that can get you a few hours outside of these walls on a fine spring day,” you said, eyebrows raised. 

Silence. That’s how you knew that you were right, but he didn’t want to admit it. “Fine, I will accompany you and aid in your quest to find this bookshop.” 

“Great!” you said, and soon the two of you were walking down the streets of New York City. You nodded down towards the piece of paper in your hand, that displayed the supposed address of your holy grail bookshop. “Do your thing.” 

He stopped, a skeptical look on his face. “My thing?” 

“Yeah, you know, your magic!” 

“I’m sorry, do you think part of my ancient magical gifts involves an intergalactic positioning system?” 

Okay, maybe you were goading him a little. But in your defense, he was cute when he got a little annoyed. “I asked if you could help, and here you are. Are you saying you can’t do anything?” 

He sighed, and then waved his hand at the piece of paper that held the address. 

Nothing happened. 

“Great work,” you said. “This has been so much help.” 

Slowly, you started to see the realization dawn on his face that you weren’t being rude to be rude, and he started to loosen up. “Well, you haven’t exactly been a shining help either.” 

“Touché,” you said, a smile on your face. “Why don’t we just head in the direction of the address and see what we can find?” 

About fifteen minutes, an impromptu stop for lunch, and a near-death experience with a cyclist later, you and Loki were finally standing in front of the window to the bookshop. It was not only exactly in the place where you thought it was (and the address you had was completely correct), but you still had no idea why the map on your phone refused to show it. 

You may have had to endure a clear “I told you so” look from Loki and a muttered joke about you needing his help to find your way out of a paper bag, but you didn’t really mind. This afternoon had been more fun than you’ve had in a long time, and Loki was more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him before. Both of things were worth more than a little teasing anyway.

- the end -

[mykingdomforapen]

human faces

All Meryl Stryfe wanted was a scoop. What she got was a situation. 

This was to be expected when a rookie journalist was chasing after the story of the Silver Hurricane. Senior journalists hastily dodged any assignment related to the infamous catastrophic duo, citing family obligations or various other reasons to live. Rumor had it that other journalists who tried to track down the Silver Hurricane were the first to be killed in the aftermath of whatever devastation those demons inflicted–the dangers of trying to get too close for a good story. 

Meryl scoffed loudly, which made Roberto raise his eyebrows. 

“Think they’re cowards, newbie?” he asked. His voice was as flat as the desert terrain. 

“Demons is a bit much, isn’t it?” Meryl said. “We’re not supposed to exaggerate, or use that kind of inflammatory language. Cheapens our journalistic integrity.” 

Roberto grunted as he pulled his hip flask from his pocket. Meryl never figured out how there was still liquid in the little flask when he drank out of it every seven minutes (not that she kept track). Last she checked, he hadn’t snuck any liquor bottles into the back seat. 

“If you think demons is an exaggeration,” Roberto had said, “you haven’t been paying attention to the stories.”

Meryl’s lips flattened petulantly. University had taught her an overwhelming checklist of best practices and model behavior for a recent graduate in the liberal arts, and being contrarian was one of them. But she hadn’t lived under a rock, either. The city of November had designated “Silver Hurricane drills” for as long as she remembered: city-wide protocol of how to seek shelter and lock down the Plants should the two mysterious and merciless–beings–descend upon them. Even she knew that the massive, metallic bunkers would stand no chance if the ghost stories of infinite knives slicing open Plant warehouses and reducing guards to pulp were true.

Sometimes, she questioned why of all the journalists at Bernadelli News Agency, she and Roberto did not refuse to the assignment. She still had the unshakable delusion of youth that she was invulnerable and tied to nothing to go chasing after a story. She didn’t know why Roberto never used the excuse of needing to get back home in time for dinner like everyone else of his level. 

This was what brought them to a stretch of bleary deserts and pockets of small, rusting towns where rumors were as common as static noise–and Vash. 

“Just Vash,” he said brightly in his introduction. 

He was in an agreeable mood for someone whom Roberto and Meryl found dangling upside down with only decomposing bodies as company. Got caught in a bit of trouble, he said lightly when he reattached his prosthetic after giving Meryl one of the biggest shocks of her life. Let me treat you to a drink for your trouble–are you heading to Jeneora Rock too? 

“We can’t drink on the job,” Meryl said sharply, more directed towards Roberto than Vash when she saw a hopeful gleam in Roberto’s eye. “But we can give you a ride if you’d like.” 

“What? Really?” Vash exclaimed. His eyes widened behind his rosy glasses. “But I’m the one who should be giving you a ride for helping me out of a tight spot! I don’t have a driver’s license, but…” 

“Might as well let him buy us a drink, rookie,” Roberto said under his breath amidst Vash’s stuttering. “Let the kid sleep easy tonight.” 

They piled into the van, and as Meryl drove towards Jeneora Rock (“When you see the rock that looks a little like a gigantic Tomas egg, go northeast,” Vash piped up. “Then you’ll avoid the gigantic Worm carcass.”) she couldn’t help but take second and third glances at Vash through the rearview mirror. Not entirely because he was lovely to look at, but she could have sworn she recognized his face. Something about the birthmark just below the eye, maybe. 

“Are you from around here?” she asked. 

“I’ve been past here a couple of times,” Vash said easily, and without answering directly. “I’m glad that you’re coming through this area. It’s a good town, even if it’s small and quiet. And the people here are kind. They could use a couple of visitors.” 

His smile softened as he watched the window for some heartwarming nostalgia somewhere among the scorching sand and bleached tomas bones. When he turned his head, that was when Meryl noticed it. 

The rose gold sunglasses he wore added a perpetual blush to his face, and in particular to his eyes. Inside the shade of the car, away from the oppressive heat and glare of the noontime sun, she saw with piqued interest a glimpse of his eyes. 

One eye–brilliant, carefree blue. The other eye was a shocking, smoky red. 

Before Meryl could do a double-take, he turned his head and the golden glare of his sunglasses shielded him once more. 

“What are you doing in Jeneora Rock, anyway?” Vash asked. 

“We’re following a story!” Meryl said, always eager to share her work. “There are more and more cases of the Silver Hurricane, and the public need to know the truth behind them. If Roberto and I track them down, we can tell the true story–not just rumors! Oh, I’d love to get an exclusive interview–the human faces behind the Silver Hurricane!” 

She glanced up at the rearview mirror with a hopeful expectation of his reaction. Much to her dismay and self-consciousness, Vash fell silent. The easy smile that he juggled during the whole drive unexpectedly faltered. Maybe it was Meryl’s imagination, but she swore that his red eye glinted. 

“Human faces, huh?” he said lightly. “Sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

(1) (2)

[floridensis]

the naturalist at Favorite Park was talking about the park’s wetland - i didnt know before tonight that it was an INTENSE restoration project, and that like twenty years ago that entire part was all invasive australian pine and they had to kill them all and then pretty much build the whole thing. she talked about how in record rains, the water would come all the way up past the sand strip (a remnant of the plot’s past popularity with ATVs) and under the pavilion we were standing in. ive never seen it get nearly so high, ive never seen the sand strip go under. she also talked about the record breaking heat and dryness from recent summers, and how recently you were able to see the lake bottom, mud cracked like you might expect a desert to look. but she said that everything seems to rebound fine when the rains come back.

“but theres one thing that i have yet to see come back,” she said, and i wiggled a bit forward on the bench in anticipation - “and i really want to see it again, because it is listed as endangered,” and im now literally on the edge of my seat because i KNOW shes going to talk about the nodding clubmoss - “it’s called nodding clubmoss, and it looks kind of like a norwegian pine tree. i haven’t seen it since”

and i got a bit overcome with excitement and have no idea what kind of full body gesture i made, but it was dark out so it didnt really matter. i was like “oh!!!! yeah i havent seen them for a long time either and i would look every time, but i saw them again! i was here on a native plant society trip, and my friend was hoping to see them. i took him to where that big dense population used to be, but we still couldnt find any. i was sitting in the dirt, telling him i was really worried that they had all died off and were all gone. i know this is like the only place they still exist in the county, so i thought they might be GONE gone. and the he said, ‘you mean like this?’ and pointed to one tiny clubmoss!!” she was glad to hear it and i told her where we found it, and then used what i said as a jumping off point for a bit of a speech, because she wanted to talk about my fear for the existence of the clubmoss. she has been doing restoration work in various natural areas in the county for about 20 years, and in that time she has seen so many things that seemed to be on the brink, or gone, but then when the circumstances are right, they will come right back. sometimes on their own, sometimes with help, often with a bit of both. and whenever she hears people talking about inevitable doom, she just wants to share with them all the wonderful little comebacks shes seen, just in her very small scope, and how many little comebacks there must be all over the world considering her experience is certainly not exceptional. i followed up with mentioning how amazed i was that the wetland - currently the last known home in the county for both the clubmoss and sundews - was initially covered in australian pines, which are known to grow in huge stands choking out the MASSIVE majority of other plants below. if youve ever been in one of those, its incredibly barren. other plants do manage, but for the most part the ground is just covered in swaths of pseudo-pine duff. that they survived the australian pine invasion, all the upheaval that went into converting it from the australian pine stand to the wetland it is now, and then in the case of the clubmosses, having dried out to the point that i do believe like every living individual at the time did die off like two years ago.... its amazing. she said she has no idea what the populations of either were like during the australian pine days even though she was there working on it. so i dont think she saw any. she supposes they were just waiting for the right conditions. the sundews (and until recently the clubmosses) have such a big healthy population it’s hard to imagine the population was ever not doing well. it’s not like either species is one that expands its range easily, especially with no other local populations. this got a little more long winded and meandering than i intended but thats what i do. anyway i just think the resiliency is awesome

[dzthenerd490]

Dark Blood Chapter 25: New Blood, New Masters

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Trigger Warning! This Chapter contains several depictions of child death, torture, overwhelming fear, dread, depression, emotional manipulation, mutilation, violence, fighting, blood, and gore. Reader's discretion is highly advised!

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The sun was close to setting as Insaro, Kira, and Dolo with the four remaining Arkums were continuing their hunt for food and reinforcements through Fayetteville.

"Geez this is boring, how come everything is deserted?"

"I've been wondering that too papa. We've been walking for a few hours, and we haven't seen anything or anybody useful."

"Those damn rodents are pure savages, they've found a way to turn the tables before it was even set and have been purging our brothers and sisters before they were even born."

"Oh, you mean like the one I ate? If they have the power to kill us, then it would make sense for them to use it but then why haven't we spotted any of them or their pet androids either?"

When I looked through the rodent's thoughts, I saw he was in an underground hive. A bunker, I believe it's called."

"Really? But even so why aren't they helping those that are still being attacked by us?"

"I also saw them hunting down Zerku parasites while they were still larva and killing any rodents that stood in their way. They did it to enslave and harvest them of their blood to make the Spirit Stone."

"Wait, seriously? But isn't the purpose of the Zerku Parasites to protect humanity from the Darkness in the first place? Why would humans betray their own protectors like that?"

"I don't know but it would explain why there's so little life left on this planet in such a short time, besides us being the reason of course."

"... Nazi's." Insaro and Dolo stopped in their tracks and turned around to see Kira was a little behind them.

"The rodents you are talking about are Neo Nazi's... I know this because my bastard of a father was one of them."

"Fuck... that must have sucked."

"It did, they are the exact reason I hate humanity, in fact they are the very definition of humanity's cruelty. They hate the Zerku, they hate other rodents with different skin tones, that are from different countries and worship different religions. they also always do this weird salute and say white power! And that was just the white supremacist, there were different hate groups all over the world that fought for their own version of perfection and supremacy." Insaro and Dolo couldn't help but look at each other in confusion.

"But wait that still doesn't make sense, why would they hate Zerku then? Why would your dad hate you?"

"... Because we were viewed as mistakes of God."

"Well, that's not entirely wrong, but still, it's common knowledge throughout all of the universe that Zerku protects humans. even if this is a nomad planet, it's a human nomad planet so the inhabitants should know at least that that."

"Regardless, I knew Rodents were dumb but that's just retarded, and I think even saying that is too nice."

"Rodents have always found stupid reasons to kill and enslave one another but for them to inflict that hatred on the Zerku created by the false god Eden who made them for the sole reason to protect humanity? I've never felt more justified in bringing them to their extinction."

"Heh, and if they're too busy killing their protectors then it will just make the job easier for us."

"... Don't underestimate these rodents Dolo, we all saw what kind of danger they oppose." Insaro then continued walking to which Kira, Dolo, and the other four Arkums followed.

"Pfft! So, what if they may have fancy gear that allows them to slay a few of us, they're numbers have been withering since the moment we got here. We on the other hand have been growing in numbers and strength every day, they will easily be purged!"

"They have an army as well Dolo. I don't know what the exact numbers of their masses are, but I still wouldn't take them lightly." Dolo was getting annoyed at this point but ultimately just decided to give up and grunted. Kira on the other hand, had an idea.

"Papa, I believe that I and the other Fallen would be immune to their anti-Arkum weapons, therefore we should be the ones to strike the Nazi's."

"Hm, theoretically that would make sense... yes, yes! That will work! After we are done with the child me, the other perfects, and Arkum pawns with continue to search the world for rodents and Arkums while you and the other Fallen will focus pacifically on the Nazi's!" Kira was smiling but then it faded into a face of sadness.

"Papa, does that mean you and I will be separated." Insaro and Kira then stopped walking while Dolo continued walking but then stopped when he noticed they did and saw Insaro kneeling to Kira.

"Kira, my dear, we all have our place in the order. It may be hard but it's what gives us reason in our lives, and that reason makes us strong. Isn't that what you wanted? To be strong enough to get your revenge on humanity." Kira then remembered her abusive father and her mother who had to hide her true Zerku nature. Kira then clenched her fists in anger and started crying blood.

"Yes, I want to kill them all!" Insaro's grin then widened as he wiped Kira's bloody tears away.

"Good, focus on why you want to kill them all, and not only will you find the strength to get it done but nothing will be able to stop you." Kira then managed to smile again and Insaro laughed a little while playfully pinching Kira's cheeks to which she laughed while playfully pushing him away. When they got to walking and scouting again however, while Kira was blissfully unaware, Dolo was having a mind link with Insaro. Insaro how long do you plan to keep the Fallen?

Why are you asking me this Dolo?

You and I both know that once the Overlords get to this planet, and they will! They will destroy all the Fallen, with or without our help. So, are you planning to kill her before that or make the lords do your dirty work?

She is a member of the order now and she will help us get rid of the child once and for all. Once the Overlords see her of her accomplishments, they will accept her and the rest of Fallen into the order.

It's been an eternity since any Fallen has joined any side of the war! Everyone knows the only fallen to every truly join the darkness was Noah, the friend of Lord Grim! that was billions of years ago! What makes you think the Overlords will overlook such a fact for the sake of ONE victory?

Because she and her army are our best hope at killing a Child of Eden you and I both knew that using Arkums and nightmares alone will just get us all killed.

And what if they don't think that's good enough?

... Then she will die.

I feel that you are growing attached to her, growing attached to allies isn't the way of the order! You may be purged as well!

If that is what it will come to then so be it, as an Arkum I don't fear death, I fear failing my mission just like anyone else created by the order. Now stop questioning me and get to searching, we can't afford to miss anything!

All I'm saying is that if we keep the Fallen it will all only end in tears.

Arkums don't shed tears. Now will you just do as your told? I know what I am doing and what the consequences are if we fail, but I do not believe we will. Why? Because the way I see it, everything always works out if you put effort into it. And I plan to use all my effort to win this war by any means possible.

***

As the sun rose to start a new day; Insaro, Kira, and Dolo were still walking down the street with the seven remaining Arkum pawns. Kira was actually quite surprised how she wasn't even a little bit tired, though Insaro explained to her that those with the black blood don't ever get tired and only rest when desired. Kira found this strange but didn't mind it for long, so she continued to walk with them peacefully, at least until a giant bolder hit Dolo. The boulder broke into pieces instantly and Dolo didn't notice until he saw the debris.

"Huh? Did something just hit me?"

"Oh, now what? did the rodents make an android that throws boulders now?"

"I don't think those are androids, Papa." Kira then pointed to a group of kids in ragged clothing glaring at them. Kira then waved joyfully at them but then an older kid jumped out in front of them, and then instantly blue glowing whips manifested in his hands. The boy then whipped Dolo in the chest and Insaro in the head. Despite the whips seemingly being thin and weak their attack left a large slash in Dolo's chest that even almost cut him in two but actually ended up cutting off Insaro's head. Insaro held his head in his hands and seemingly looked at himself with it.

"... Rude." Insaro was about to unleash his genocide mode, but Kira quickly ran in front of him and raised her hands to stop both Insaro and the kid from doing anything else.

"Stop! don't fight!"

"You... your with those dark beasts, why didn't they try to kill you?"

"Um, that's because..." Kira then looked back to Insaro nervously, Insaro wasn't sure what Kira was planning but knew that regardless this could be a good learning experience for her. So, to give her the encouragement to continue he gave her two thumbs up while Dolo gave her a thumbs down. Insaro then grabbed Dolo's arm and twisted it so that it now looked like a thumbs up to which Dolo simply said "ouch." despite it not actually hurting him. Kira smiled and laughed a little because of this, she then faced the confused kid again with confidence.

"Ahem! Because I am a Fallen! A Zerku like you that um... that doesn't do the mindless bidding of the false God lord Kiden." Insaro and Dolo then started laughing to which Kira glared back at them. Insaro then stopped laughing first but then punched Dolo's head off to which he stopped laughing and went to go get his head.

"Ahem, I found a better way of life and as um, Queen of the Fallen I can help you see that better path two."

"... how old are you?"

"Um, Six."

"Pfft! Hahahahaha! Why should I listen to a pipsqueak like you?"

"Hey! I may be smaller and younger, but I am stronger!"

"Oh yeah? Prove it." Kira was now quite aggravated at this point and then punched the older kid, but he just laughed and punched her back hard on the cheek. The Arkum pawns were aggravated by this and tried to rush forward and to assist Kira but then Insaro raised his hand to show them to wait. Kira's cheek now really hurt but she instead smiled as she activated the pentagram on her back and three of her bloody hands sprouted out. Surprisingly they blood arms wrapped around each other and fused into a larger bloody arm which then made a fist to punch the older boy hard in the jaw.

The boy staggered due to the intense amount of force that hit his face, a normal human would have had their head torn off, but the older boy just had a somewhat dislocated jaw. Insaro and Dolo started laughing while Kira looked back and smiled brightly and proudly at them. After the boy's jaw healed, he was mad and then used his whip to slice off the large bloody arm, to which Kira yelped in pain. Losing tentacles was not painful to the Fallen, for it wasn't attached to their bodies. However, that was not why Kira yelped in pain, but because her own hand was also cut off.

Kira screamed out in pain and even started crying her blood, Dolo continued to hold the Arkum pawns back as Insaro ordered him to through their physic link. However, what confused Dolo was how Insaro himself obviously wanted to help Kira. He was standing but shaking in anger and despite this had a large smile on his face. Dolo then noticed that the kids behind the older boy all looked scared at the older boy while he himself was looking proud of himself. Kira who was still crying crimson tears then glared at the older boy in anger. Then what was left of her arm then started pulsating for it was being filled with a large amount of the black blood in her veins. It then burst like a balloon into a large claw-like arm as more bloody arms sprouted from her back. The older boy was now looking at Kira in fear, he panicked and tried to slash her again with the intent to cut her head off. However, Kira's black blood arm grabbed the whip and flung it away as it disappeared. The black blood arm then grabbed the boy and then slammed him into the ground and then all her bloody arm tentacles then started punching him more and more and more.

"Stop it!" Just then Kira stopped when a little girl ran up to her while crying normal tears.

"Please stop! *sniff* if you keep hitting him, he'll die!"

"... so what?"

"Huh?"

"What does it matter if I kill him? ... also-" just then one of Kira's bloody arms slapped the girls head, the intense force vaporized her head into a mist of blood and had her body slam into the ground like a ragdoll.

"What does it matter if I kill you?" Insaro then instantly started laughing as the other kids started screaming in horror and running away. Kira thought of them as a waste of time, so she was about to continue crushing the older boy but then Insaro put his hand on her shoulder.

"A kingdom can only be built by bodies, not on corpses." Kira was still glaring angrily but then she started to calm down as he bloody arm tentacles reverted into her back and her large black blood arm shrunk and turned into a new normal arm. Kira however was started crying again and then hugged Insaro while he hugged her back and patted her head gently.

"It's alright my little rose you did good. Oy, Dolo round up the kid specifically, the Zerku make sure they don't get hurt; not the rodents though, if they struggle then feel free to break their fingers." Dolo then laughed sinisterly and zoomed after the running children with the Arkum pawns running with him like a pack of cheetahs. Kira then quickly pushed Insaro away to which his face changed to now his surprised face.

"... what?" Kira then put her fists to the sides of her waist and then pouted angrily at Insaro.

"I am the strongest!" Insaro's eyes now changed from circles to half circles to show his disappointed expression, He then patted her on the head.

"You are not the strongest but trust me when I say you will be. I mean if you're going to rule over the Fallen, you'll have to be stronger than anything, even a Child of Eden." Insaro then picked Kira up and walked over to the heavily injured older boy who was regenerating at a snail's pace.

"Speaking of which, yo tough guy, wake the fuck up." Insaro kicked the older boy, to which he turned his head and opened his eyes to look up at Insaro and Kira. He then started to cry due to the intense pain.

"I'm gonna make you a deal, if you can get up in the next ten seconds then you can become a Fallen but if you can't then my daughter is going to eat your core you parasite." Kira then looked at Insaro in both confusion and concern.

"Um..."

"Oh right, Ahem! Kira, all immortal beings of either light or darkness have a core, it's like a super organ that acts as all essential organs every organic creature needs a heart, a brain, and even a stomach, it's needed for us to remain alive for our infinite life span, without it, poof! We are nothing more than dust, however those of us with the darkness have a little cheat code. When we eat the cores of others, either darkness or light, we can gain everything they were and had as well as their powers and abilities. So, you know if this tough guy doesn't get up and show his devotion to his new queen then he can at least be a good snack." Kira then nodded to show she understood, she then faced the older boy and smirked deviously. The older boy was instantly filled with fear, it tried his best to get up as fast as he could. However, this was a big mistake as he finally managed to stand up something on his spin snapped and he accidentally spat a lot of blood on Kira's face.

"Oops, she's probably gonna be mad about that." Kira then glared at the older boy in pure rage and then without thinking she started screaming in anger. Soon her screams turned into roars and as she roared her mouth started to rip open wider. Her head practically ripped open like a flower bud and then just as fast she chomped down on his head devouring him entirely and by extent his core. After she swallowed, her head reverted to normal but then she started stumbling around like a horrible headache. Just as she started to fall Insaro caught her in his arms.

"Ah, it's ok Kira your good, wow though! I didn't think you'd be ready to manipulate your body to such a degree."

"Eh?"

"Oh, that's another thing Kira, those with the black blood are able to manipulate their bodies at will. Whether it be simple tissue mutation, temporary body shifting, or even full on genetic alteration, nothing is off the table for us. thought of course it's easier to get it done by more powerful being... like the Queen of the Fallen for example." Kira's eyes, now in normal form, sparkled in excitement; she then looked at her hands mesmerized and then looked at Insaro with a mixed look of happiness and determination.

"Lord Insaro, we got all the brats." Insaro and Kira then turned to see Dolo and the seven Arkum pawns surrounding the children. The children were all deeply scared as the Arkum pawns were laughing at them and some of them even mocking them by pretending to want to bite at them. Insaro then smiled wider and then stood up to talk to them all but then Kira raised her hand to stop him and then pointed at herself. Insaro had his surprised expression, but then turned back to his normal smile and he nodded. Kira then smiled and walked toward the group of kids.

"I am Kira queen of the fallen! And I have an offer to you Zerku-" just then a piece of mud was flung at Kira's face and then a crying yet angry boy stepped forward.

"Give him back! Give me back my brother!"

"... he's a rodent. kill him." the Arkum pawn opened its mouth and swallowed him up, as Kira ordered without hesitation. As the Arkum pawn swallowed the boy it decided to play a cruel joke by puking out the little boy's bones in front of the other kids. They all started screaming and crying out of overwhelming fear.

"QUIET!" Kira then unintentionally used her psychic powers and they all suddenly shut their mouths despite still crying and trying to scream.

"*sigh* I'm not your enemy, or at least I'm not trying to be, you have no idea who the enemy really is. But I will show you." Kira then finally let them all go, they were still scared and crying but no longer screamed.

"Now I don't care for human rodents I only want Zerku. But above all I want your loyalty... kill your human friends." All the Arkum pawns then started smiling and growling joyfully while Dolo and Insaro started laughing.

"Hahaha! You heard the girl! Time to prove your loyalty!" Only now did Kira realize what she had said. She didn't regret it, but she was surprised that she was indeed the one that said it. She didn't care about what happened to humans, but she was surprised that she would do something so cruel as to order a bunch of Zerku children to kill their human friends. It just didn't seem like something she would ever say to children, especially Zerku children.

"Hahaha, hey how about we make this interesting, if the human kids managed to kill the Zerku then we will let you all go, and you'll never see us again. I promise!" Kira then looked at Insaro in confusion and then looked back at the kids. They all looked at each other in fear not sure of what to do, but then a boy picked up a rock and hit another little girl in the head.

"Quick kill them all! Thier just EVO freaks anyways, who cares!" All the other kids now looked at the boy in horror, but the little girl suddenly turned fat and she punched the boys head so hard that not only did it fly off, but it impacted the nearest building and now just looked like a swatted fly.

"Zut! c'était un coup de grâce! (Damn! That was a knockout!)"

"Non avrebbe potuto dirlo meglio, Dolo! (couldn't have said it better, Dolo!)" Out of overwhelming fear and confusion the kids all started attacking each other like a bunch of rabid dogs. Kira wasn't a stranger to gore at this point but seeing a bunch of kids no older than her tear each other apart was not easy on her so she backed up to Insaro and held onto his leg. Insaro then patted her head to comfort her all while his grin had become wider than ever due to the slaughtering in front of him.

When the carnage was finally over there were only about five kids left including the little girl from the beginning. They all then realized what they had done and started crying in fear and asking for their parents to save them. The Arkum pawns were starting to get annoyed but then Dolo sent them orders through the mind link. They all then started eating the leftover meat until they were finally ready to hatch.

"Hehe, I call dibs on this little killer." Dolo then went to the little girl and then extended his hand to her.

"It's ok, the rodents can't hurt you anymore, as long as you do as I say I won't let anyone hurt you." Dolo wiped the blood off her face and his head split, releasing a demonic tongue that licked it off his hand.

"Do- do you promise?" Dolo looked back at the girl and seemingly chuckled in delight, he then held out his other hand and pointed his pinky out.

"I pinky promise!" The little girl looked surprised by this but then she slowly started to smile and then started laughing joyfully. She then locked pinkies with Dolo and soon after hugged him, Dolo hesitated at first but then hugged her back. Dolo then caught Insaro looking at him, though neither of them had actual faces, Dolo could see Insaro was smirking at him to which Dolo rolled his non-existent eyes. Soon after the red lighting stopped and the four of the seven Arkums were finally done hatching while the other three were dangerously close.

"I am Omora-te, master of suicide."

"I am Nee-Bunie, Master of despair"

"I am Ghinion, master of bad luck."

"I am Fo-mido, master of Terror." The four of them then received orders from both Dolo and Insaro through the mind link so as not to alert the kids. All four of them then got on their knees and held their hands out to the kids. The four remaining kids looked at the Arkums in fear, then back to Insaro and Kira. Kira got annoyed by this and was about to yell at them, but Insaro placed his hand on her head to stop her.

"We are your family now, the truth of the matter is: the humans betrayed you, if they were really your friends, they would have fought alongside you. Instead, they decided to just throw you under the bus and kill you. that's how creatures of light always are, they tear each other apart for the sake of self-preservation and superiority." the made the kids start to cry, they just experienced their friends trying to kill them and to survive they had to actually kill them. it was agonizing to know that you had to kill someone you thought was your friend in order to survive. Kira looked at Insaro confused while he just raised his hand to show her to wait just a little longer.

"The darkness however is different! With the black blood you will never be alone! help! friendship! love! It will all be yours! and thanks to the dark goddess order and security are guaranteed as well to all who have the black blood! all you have to do is say yes!" The kids then looked at each other and back to the Arkums still holding their hands out to them. Their overwhelming guilt and loneliness made them desperate, so they all started crying and ran right into the Arkums arms, who immediately started to hug them warmly. Kira sighed in relief glad it was over and activated her pentagram and used her bloody arm tentacles to give the kids their brands of the order. In an instant their eyes turned black as they started to cry bloody tears as pentagrams formed on their backs and their tentacles sprouted out.

"Hahahahaha! Everything is working out so well! All that's left now is for Virdis to report back on his mission. Hehehe then finally I will kill the Child and kill his parasite friends once and for all."

***

Virdis was a slithering black blob at first but slowly his mass started growing and after about 20 minutes his body was done regenerating. He was now running down back into the city where the Arkums and other Fallen were. He was far away from the mansion, but he wouldn't slow down. Shit! Shit! Shit! How the fuck could this have gone so bad! How the hell were those kids able to kill the pawns! What kind of weapons were those?! Who the hell was that kid?! I never saw A Zerku with wings before, and even so how were they so strong! He tore through my body like it was soft clay! Fuck! What the hell am I gonna do now?!

Virdis then stopped before he officially entered the city, should I even enter the city? If they knew I failed, they would probably kill me... no Fuck that! I'm sorry Kira but Insaro is your problem now, count me out of this bullshit. Virdis seconds from running in the opposite direction before he was frozen in place. It was like he was held there by an invisible force, the same force then suddenly pulled him into the city. He was going so fast that he couldn't even focus on what was going on or where he was even going. But then he was finally released and then he rolled on the ground until he stopped at someone's feet. Virdis looked up to see Occisor who was also looking down on him alongside several Arkum pawns and one of the Fallen from the library, most likely the one who pulled him into the city. Occisor then snapped his fingers to alert his subordinates.

"Pick him up." Then Fallen and an Arkum pawn picked up Virdis and when he stood up, they locked onto his arms to keep him from running.

"Identify yourself."

"Uh, Virdis the green shard."

"Where are the pawns assigned to you?"

"... All dead" The Arkum pawn holding Virdis's right arm tightened his grip and growled at him.

"How successful were you on your mission."

"... it failed." The Fallen who had his left arm started to hiss in anger.

"... Insaro was a fool... For entrusting you for this mission! RIP HIS ARMS OFF!" both the Fallen and the pawn smiled and did as they were told. Once his arms were off Virdis fell on the ground and started screaming in pain.

"You worthless disgrace! How dare you try to show your face after you lost all your pawns and failed your mission! Your existence is an embarrassment!"

"AAAH! FUCK YOU!"

"How dare-"

"Shut up! I don't answer to you asshole! Your just another faceless freak! Insaro is the boss here I answer to him! I did my job! The child was too strong! It's not my fault! If you care so much you should-"

"Silence! ... you answer to Insaro? Very well." Occisor's left arm then melted and under the black ooze formed black bones but instead of a hand there was a large scythe blade.

"Let's go meet him then, shall we?"

"Hey, hey! HEY! Take it easy you fucking psycho!"

"Psycho? You are mistaken, I am the master of death." Morte then stabbed Virdis in the chest with his scythe blade.

.

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[onedayatatime-please]

Thursday, Aug. 15th, 2024. 1:03 pm

I've spent the whole day with extreme anxiety. I did my breakfast sandwich, shower, and everything like I said I would, but in between has been spent doing breathing exercises to try and calm myself down as my heart has been racing. I have been sitting in front of my computer emotionally prepping for my therapy appointment only to get a call five minutes before its supposed to start telling me that its been cancelled because the therapist had some sort of emergency and is now no longer taking new clients. This is fine, shit happens. Im now just emotionally exhausted and a bit upset that I had to change the person I wanted to be my therapist, and the new person im going to do intake with seems good but not quite as good. Who knows, maybe im wrong and Im gonna end up loving them but Im so fucking tired.

Also I had a dream last night where I was back on Randy's farm and got to say hi to Bandito. He must be a very old horse now if he is still alive (I know his mother passed a few years ago), and in my dream his hairs were greying a bit, but he still had the white pattern around his eyes. There was a girl there working on the farm and we were flirting, and in the dream I was kinda hoping to get with her. Most of the dream was spent on the farm, but at some point it shifted to a desert scape and suddenly I was in a war zone and hiding out in some low mud buildings from a group of soldiers. As some point a soldier found me and the last thing I remember from my dream was crying and begging for my life as he pointed his gun in my face. Very weird to have those two things happen one after the other.

I woke up feeling like I had not slept at all, which has been pretty much how I've been waking up every day recently.

I'm gonna clean the house and get ready for my cousins to be here in 3 hours. I am also going to try and photograph some more drawings for my portfolio so I can work on uploading them when I am visiting with my grandparents.

I am not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

9:42 pm edit:

Dinner went well and now I am very tired. I had a call with 🪶. He’s going to another city on the same days I’ll be near him. I think it’s time I move on from him. I loved him so much, and it’s not his fault that his life is falling apart. I want to be there for him and I want to keep loving him because I love loving him but I know it’s not sustainable. A part of me feels like I should just go along for the ride, I’m twenty, it doesn’t need to be sustainable yet. But I don’t want a ride, not really. He does tho, he wants to do crazy shit and that would be fine if we could work together to sustain our relationship on top of that but that doesn’t seem likely. This has been coming for so long I don’t really feel sad about it yet, I just feel lonely. I haven’t felt like I’m actually in a relationship for a while. And he was the one who made me want a sustainable relationship in the first place. I was so set on being lonely, but then I met him and it made me realize that I really do want another person, I want to be married, I want kids. But he doesn’t want any of that yet and he probably doesn’t want it with me either way. I’m glad that we were able to love each other for the few years we did. I wish things could be simple, but they are not. I don’t want to break it off with him because I’m afraid of experiencing true loneliness again after knowing what it’s like to actually not be lonely. Either decision leads to me being fucking miserable for a certain amount of time and I keep doing this thing where I try to negotiate and find a middle ground where I can be kind of okay for a little bit but that’s not how all this shit is gonna work in the end. I love him and I know that he loves me but we are at a time in our lives where we cannot fulfill each others needs in a stable relationship and so instead we are probably going to part ways and never hear from each other again and the thought of that makes me fucking sick.

I feel like a coward for wanting to leave him when he is struggling even though he is actively pushing me away.

I Wanna be an Astronaut floating through space

And be tied to a ship by a cord and just be simple and quiet.

But instead I’m a dog.

I’m gonna go to the ocean soon, so I can float in the water.

I’m not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

[the-grey-stickfox]

The beginning part 1 (Canon story)- Breaking the bank.

Was a pretty slow week for our green scarfed thief…not a lot of interesting items or places to rob or steal, not a lot of good paying job offers to go for either on his other professions, all the good jobs he either did already or was waiting for the pay to come in, plus he was a pretty frugal individual so he didn’t spend his money on a lot of stuff, but that thrill of stealing something big? That was always enough to keep him wanting more… but having not been able to find anything from his usual sources, he had to take a defeated sigh as he looked on one website not known to be reliable…Stickslist.

Taking his time to look at the job offers he found one that seemed a bit interesting, it was a picture of a bank that was for some reason in the middle of a…desert?? From the looks of it. Reading through the description it was apparent either this person was new to this line of work, or was pulling some practical joke to see if anyone would even take the offer, feeling enough interest since it was a fricken bank in the middle of nowhere, he sent a message of interest to the poster and got a message back with the phone number of the poster from the looks of it and got in touch with them using one of his burner phones.

“Hello? Is this the…person interested in my post?” The voice on the other line sounded kinda nervous, but…genuine in a way. “Yup that’s me, not giving my name until we meet in person though. But I’m interested. You really wanna break into a bank Huh?” Our green scarfed thief spoke in a chill tone to try to help calm the poster a bit, ease tension, taking the chance to try to see if this wasn’t a sort of trap by authorities he connected his burner phone to one of his laptops and used a little program he had made for him to track the posters location and saw he was in a hotel close by the road leading to the bank.

“Y..yeah, I could really use the money and I got a bunch of stuff that’d work for robbing a bank. And…I guess I should keep my name until we meet Huh?” The poster had a faint little nervous chuckle at his own home.

“Yeah, best to safe it until we meet in person… So, when did you want to meet up for this little heist of yours? We can discuss pay AFTER we get out with some money, I’m not to picky, plus I’m pretty sure you could use the money more right?”

“R-really? Just like that your letting me get more pay?? Uhh…well, thanks but I’m at a motel near the road going to the bank so…I guess sometime soon in a few days time, when do you think you can get here?”

Checking his schedule for any other jobs he might have gotten ready or had to wait a bit to start, he was pretty free obviously and made a mark for either tomorrow or the day after to meet up with his ‘rookie associate’. “I’m free this whole week so I can probably get to you tomorrow or the day after honestly.”

“Great! I’ll send you the motel address and you can meet me here!” He almost yelled but was able to keep it to a…hushed excitement volume. “I’ll uhh…be waiting then. Send a message when your close ok? Or a email since I left it on the post, should I take it down or think we should see if anyone else will take the offer?” A faint grumbling noise could be heard on the other end

“I think it’s best to take it down, better if it’s just the two of us, we’ll look less suspicious if we’re hanging around the bank and get spotted, can just look like two dudes wandering around or something, and…did your stomach just rumble or something? I heard something growl just then.” The poster had a embarrassed chuckle when our green scarf thief mentioned it.

“Y..yeah, haven’t eaten much in the past few days since…you know, money issues…”

“I’ll bring some stuff over to eat, or…cook, that place got a kitchen?” A bit of shuffling can be heard on the ‘rookies’ end. “Uhhh….yeah, we got a kitchen here, just a standard stove with a microwave and a oven compartment.

“Then I’m bringing some stuff to cook. So I just send you a message when I’m close by right?” Our green scarfed thief began to make preparations for his new job while the ‘rookie’ was a stuttering in a bit of confusion.

“I…y-yeah, send me a message and I’ll try to get the motel room nice and ready for you too bunk down in before we do this thing. I uhh…I guess I’ll leave you to it. Look forward to working with you man.” The ‘rookie’ sounded a bit hopeful.

“Look forward to working with you too. See you soon.” The green scarfed thief hung up and with that he prepared for his little heist adventure with a rookie thief.

~A few days later~

Our green scarfed thief was standing on the staircase of the motel his ‘rookie’ partner in crime was staying at, wanting to try to avoid any potential traps. He texted the ‘rookie’ that he was there at the motel ready to come on in.

A couple second’s later he got the motel room number and headed over to the door trying to take a peak through the window seeing a small crack through the blinds, as someone in a blue hoodie and shorts was stumbling around the room trying to clean things up. This got a small chuckle from our green scarfed thief as he knocked on the window second’s after seeing the blue hoodies figure finish cleaning the other bed getting a audible Yelp out of them.

Backing up a little bit the blinds opened a bit from the middle showing the nervous face of the ‘rookie’ as our green scarfed thief waved hi showing he also had a bag of groceries in his hands. The rookie waved hi back albeit a bit nervously, they quickly went over to the door opening it. “He-hey man, uhh…didn’t expect you to get here so soon, come on in.”

“Good to see you too.” The green scarfed thief came on in setting his things down by the more tidyed up bed and put the groceries neatly on the counter top seeing the ‘rookie’ close the door and lock it a bit too quickly needing a few tries to get the slide part on right.

“So Uhh…guess since we’re here, in person…might as well introduce ourselves to each other….? My names Henry, Henry stickman.” The blue hoodied stickman offered his hand to the green scarfed thief, a hopeful smile creeping across his face, seemingly excited to actually have a partner.

“Hmm, nice to meet ya Henry, names Fox, Fox Greyhound.” The green scarfed thief shook Henry’s hand, sealing their fate as partners in crime for this heist.

[switchywitchy]

7 years ago today, I got married.

A lot has happened since then, and I’m having a lot of feelings lately (but especially today) that I’m not sure how to work though. So, I guess when in doubt, get the words out of your head- make them real- and maybe they’ll start to make more sense.

Let’s flash back further than 7 years ago- let’s flash back over 20 years ago, to when my mom divorced my dad. Back then, and in the years that followed, my mom would swing between extremes; she either waxed on about how the love of her life “died in the desert” (my dad was in Desert Storm and suffered a tremendous amount of PTSD), and that the man she divorced wasn’t the man she fell in love with, or she would spit at the sound of his name and tell us what a terrible father and person he is- and how lucky we are to be with her instead.

As the years passed, she was married and divorced three more times. Including her marriage prior to my dad, she has been married and divorced an impressive five times.

I remember being a 10,12,16 year old child thinking “I’ll only ever get married once. So if I want to get married, I have to be sure I can be with that person forever.” (Thankfully, this way of thinking turned out to be temporary.)

But I digress- this isn’t about my mother, or how her selfishness, narcissism, and outright abuse helped shape my development.

In 2015 I quit my job in Florida and moved to D.C., where I planned on starting a life and career for myself outside the reach of my mother, and my ex “C” who had an annoying habit of finding me no matter where I seemed to go). I was there for two months and was barely scraping by with my new job, I didn’t have any friends, and in a desperate attempt to make some I tried searching for human connection through an app.

That ended up being a terrible idea, when I was assaulted by one of the very people I wanted to make friends with.

I was ready to leave, even if it meant going back to my mother. Instead, the weekend before I was set to move, I met “J” and found someone who was kind, thoughtful, handsome- he made me feel safe. And I threw myself wholly into becoming part of his narrative, not caring what parts of me where overshadowed and left to wither.

I knew him for four months before I decided to move to Ohio with him.

His family- while surprised- welcomed me with open arms and did their best to make me feel loved and like I belonged there. They constantly said how great I was for J, and how blessed they were to have me in the family.

J and I got an apartment together, then two cats. When he proposed in December of 2015 I said yes- completely ignoring all the red flags to that point. We had fought before about him feeling insecure with how many sexual partners I’d had, that I wasn’t Christian (though I did attend church with him), that I was taking anti-depressants when instead I should let the congregation pray over me to exorcise the demon of depression. He hated the fact that I’m attracted to all genders, not just men.

In 2016 we got married anyway. I look back on my wedding photos and see how happy I look, and I remember how happy I felt to be surrounded by my family and friends, and to be starting a new chapter of my life.

He got me a little white schnauzer as a wedding gift. Luna. I had to leave her and her brother, Merlin, in Ohio when I left; something I haven’t truly come to terms with (if the overwhelming knot in my throat and the hot tears stinging my eyes are any indication).

Donald Trump became president that year, and J dove hard into the MAGA life. He drank more- going through an entire bottle of moonshine a night. He watched Fox News at all hours of the day, and when he wasn’t watching it he was listening to the hosts podcasts and YouTube channels. His behavior turned more and more aggressive, and I drifted further and further away into myself while trying to pretend like everything was fine.

As the presidency progressed, so did J’s paranoia. His behavior escalated and I got more and more lost.

He started demanding sex and acting in ways that triggered my trauma responses. He actively dismissed my feelings and requests to go to therapy. In his words- if we weren’t going to church to seek help through God, we weren’t going to therapy.

In 2019 I was jobless, and was drinking a handle of whiskey every three days just to cope. That year, my youngest sibling committed suicide, and then my grandfather passed away. Things got worse.

Enter the pandemic. Being locked in with him during quarantine gave me lots of time to think. I had completely lost sight of myself. I was depressed, miserable, suffering internally feeling alone and isolated from my family, my friends, my life. I decided I had to get out. I stopped drinking and started applying for jobs.

I got a job May 23, 2021, two days after my 5 year anniversary. The weekend of our anniversary I spend the last of my savings on a “Save-Our-Marriage” weekend getaway, where I earnestly tried to reconnect and get him to try and understand my feelings- ultimately I was unsuccessful and the weekend was awful.

I told J I wanted a separation. He begged me to stay, and ended up agreeing to therapy (as long as I paid for it) as a last-ditch attempt to keep our marriage intact.

I tried, friends. I really did. Did I think it would work, honestly? No I didn’t think it would. I had mostly made up my mind, but I couldn’t in good conscience leave without trying one more time.

I searched and found a therapist that specialized in couples, had an extensive history with trauma patients, and who (as a bonus for J) was very faith-centered. Eight months of therapy left us no closer to reconciling- if anything he was angrier than before and was trying desperately to get any sort of rise from me even if it was negative.

I rented a POD, made the plans to stay with a friend, and told J the time had come and I was leaving. I packed myself and the cats, and left.

I ended up staying with a friend and her husband for four months (which ultimately turned out to be a mistake, but that’s a story for another day). In those four months, J blew my phone up every day with calls and texts, first begging me to come back then cursing me for leaving. He tried to manipulate me, destroyed my personal property, and held a family heirloom “hostage”. We filed for divorce, which was granted last August.

Now, it’s the day that would have been my 7th marriage anniversary, and here I am, divorced. I’m not upset about being divorced, but I am feeling melancholy about what could have been? I dunno, friends. My life has changed so much, and I do feel more like myself. I don’t feel lost anymore (well, I do a little, but I think everyone feels that way), but I still feel like things are unresolved.

I need to learn from this and move forward. But what is the lesson to be learned here? To not lose sight of yourself? To learn which situations to avoid to protect myself? That we have to leave important things behind in order to be happy?

I don’t know anymore.

I’m sure this feeling will pass, but for now I’m trying to sit with these feelings and make space for them, instead of burying or running from them.

I’m gonna splurge on a burger, put on Treasure Planet, and make smoke. Things will get better, and they won’t stay like this forever. Sorry for the long post, and if you stuck around and read this much, thank you- it makes me feel a little less alone.

-Switchy

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

I Thought I Lost You

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Robert "Bob" Floyd, f!reader

Word Count: 1326

TW: Angst, Presumed Dead, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Kissing

Top Gun Masterlist

You lay curled up on your cot, your eyes puffy and red from the countless hours of crying you have been doing over the past three days. Every time you think you have cried yourself out, that you couldn’t possibly have the energy or tears left to shed, you are hit by another wave of sobs. You know you should pull it together, to be as strong as all those around you, but you can’t. Working in the control room and monitoring things through a computer screen had always let you remain somewhat distanced from the loss and tragedies that could occur during missions. But this is different. You had never been this personally connected to one of the fighters before.

A light knock on your door stirs you from your grief. You mumble a soft, “Come in.” and see Phoenix slowly open the door.

“Hey, I thought you might want some company.” You nod as a single tear rolls down your cheek and she comes over to pull you into a hug. “It’s okay. There’s still a chance he could be okay.”

You sob into her chest, “It’s been three days. You guys ejected from your plane in the middle of a desert with no food, no water, no real kind of protective gear and no one has found any signs of Bob since. Even if he survived the crash, he almost definitely wouldn’t have made it this long on his own.” She just holds tighter to you, both of you knowing you are right and anything she says would just be wishful thinking.

Finally, you compose yourself somewhat and say, “I’m sorry. I know I should be stronger than this. I mean, we had only been going out for a few months. Plus, you guys have known him so much longer and you’re holding it together. I mean, he was your WSO and yet here you are comforting me! How pathetic can I be!”

Phoenix thinks for a moment, choosing her words wisely. “I haven’t been as strong as I am trying to seem. You’re right, Bob was my WSO and I was flying when we were forced to bail out. That’s not an easy thing to come to terms with but I’m trying.” She ran her hand soothingly across your back. “However, I think we both know that there was more to your and Bob’s relationship than you’re admitting.”

“Yeah…. Yeah, there was. But I never admitted it to him either…... Do-do you think he knew that I loved him before he….?” You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to actually say the word out loud, but Phoenix understands.

“I think he did. And I think he felt the same way about you. You were all he ever talked about. I had to even tell him to shut up a few times when he would go on and on and on about you.”

You let out a strangled laugh. “My roommate told me the same thing. That she didn’t ever want to hear the name ‘Bob’ ever again.” You stare down at your hands as they fidget with the sheets. “I guess she got her wish.”

Phoenix opens her mouth to say something, but before she has the chance, Rooster suddenly bursts into your room without even knocking. You and Phoenix both look at him in surprise, not understanding his intrusion or the wide grin spread across his face. That is until he breathlessly says, “They found him…. And he’s okay… Bob’s okay!”

Phoenix decides to stay behind to give you time alone with Bob, so Rooster leads you quickly down the hall. He fills you in with what he knows: a final rescue team had gone out looking for him and someone had managed to spot his parachute in a deep gorge they had missed before. They found Bob, dehydrated, severely sunburned, and banged up, but overall, he was going to make a full recovery.

As you approach the door to his room, Rooster gives your shoulder a tight squeeze then walks off so you can go in by yourself. Taking a deep breath, you open the door. Bob is laying on a bed, propped up with a few pillows. An IV is connected to his arm to replenish his fluids. All of his visible skin is painfully bright red and peeling from countless hours in the scorching sun. But even though his lips are chapped and cracked, he gives you a soft smile as you hesitantly approach. “Hi.”

His voice is so dry and scratchy it is almost impossible to make out what he said, but you smile back as tears once again spring to your eyes. “Hi. I thought….. I thought I had lost you.”

“Thought so too once or twice. But I had a reason to keep going.” Weakly, he reaches into his flight suit and pulls out a worn strip of paper. Handing it over to you, you instantly recognize it. For your third date, Bob had taken you to a carnival and the two of you had spent way too much money goofing off in the photo booth. While you had taken most of the photos home, you had noticed Bob slip one strip of them into his pocket. That is what you now hold in your hands.

The tears you have been holding back begin streaming down your face. You take his hand gently and whisper, “I love you, Bob. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but I-I was afraid it was too soon. And then when I thought you were gone, and I’d never get the chance to tell you-” Your voice begins quivering too much to continue.

But then Bob reaches out and takes your hand in his as he rasps, “I love you too. I didn’t want to come on too strong but I’ve wanted to say it ever since that night.” He gestures to the pictures still in your hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner.”

Without thinking, you press your lips against his. The cracked, dry feeling immediately reminds you of his condition and you try to pull away, but he places his hand on the back of your neck, holding you in place. So, you carefully lean in, deepening the kiss as you run your fingers through his hair, ignoring the sand and sweat matted there.

You are interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing behind you. The heat rising in your face, you turn around to see a doctor with an amused look on her face standing there. She raises an eyebrow and says, “Sorry to interrupt, but Lieutenant Floyd needs his rest. So, if you don’t mind-”

“Can she please stay?” Bob asks.

The doctor sighs. “Are you actually going to try to get some sleep if she’s here?”

“Yes, ma’am. In fact, I’ll sleep better with her by my side.” Bob smiles softly at you and you bite your lip to suppress your own grin.

“Fine. But if I come back to check on you and I see anything I don’t approve of, she’ll have to leave.”

“Absolutely. Thank you, ma’am.”

The doctor shakes her head with a small smile and leaves. You turn back to Bob. “Are you sure? I can come back later. She’s right. You do need to rest and recover.”

“I can do both with you here….. If you want to stay.”

You squeeze his hand. “Of course, I do.”

Carefully, Bob slides over, making room next to him. You climb onto the bed, curling up against his side with your head resting on his shoulder. You take his glasses off his face and place them on the table next to you before he wraps his arm around you and pulls you in closer. And wrapped in each other’s arms, you both soon drift off to sleep comforted by the thought you are with the person you love once again.

Taglist: @valoraxx, @m3laniehearts, @autumnleaves1991-blog, @rule107, @vintageleather, @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak, @slutforadambanks, @americaarse, @reneki, @jamesbuckyburns, @a-sweet-little-fangirl, @ynbutbetter

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

I Thought I Lost You

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Robert "Bob" Floyd, f!reader

Word Count: 1326

TW: Angst, Presumed Dead, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Kissing

Notes: Thank you to @mayhem24-7forever for this request and to @lorecraft for beta reading for me! 💖

Top Gun Masterlist

You lay curled up on your cot, your eyes puffy and red from the countless hours of crying you have been doing over the past three days. Every time you think you have cried yourself out, that you couldn’t possibly have the energy or tears left to shed, you are hit by another wave of sobs. You know you should pull it together, to be as strong as all those around you, but you can’t. Working in the control room and monitoring things through a computer screen had always let you remain somewhat distanced from the loss and tragedies that could occur during missions. But this is different. You had never been this personally connected to one of the fighters before.

A light knock on your door stirs you from your grief. You mumble a soft, “Come in.” and see Phoenix slowly open the door.

“Hey, I thought you might want some company.” You nod as a single tear rolls down your cheek and she comes over to pull you into a hug. “It’s okay. There’s still a chance he could be okay.”

You sob into her chest, “It’s been three days. You guys ejected from your plane in the middle of a desert with no food, no water, no real kind of protective gear and no one has found any signs of Bob since. Even if he survived the crash, he almost definitely wouldn’t have made it this long on his own.” She just holds tighter to you, both of you knowing you are right and anything she says would just be wishful thinking.

Finally, you compose yourself somewhat and say, “I’m sorry. I know I should be stronger than this. I mean, we had only been going out for a few months. Plus, you guys have known him so much longer and you’re holding it together. I mean, he was your WSO and yet here you are comforting me! How pathetic can I be!”

Phoenix thinks for a moment, choosing her words wisely. “I haven’t been as strong as I am trying to seem. You’re right, Bob was my WSO and I was flying when we were forced to bail out. That’s not an easy thing to come to terms with but I’m trying.” She ran her hand soothingly across your back. “However, I think we both know that there was more to your and Bob’s relationship than you’re admitting.”

“Yeah…. Yeah, there was. But I never admitted it to him either…... Do-do you think he knew that I loved him before he….?” You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to actually say the word out loud, but Phoenix understands.

“I think he did. And I think he felt the same way about you. You were all he ever talked about. I had to even tell him to shut up a few times when he would go on and on and on about you.”

You let out a strangled laugh. “My roommate told me the same thing. That she didn’t ever want to hear the name ‘Bob’ ever again.” You stare down at your hands as they fidget with the sheets. “I guess she got her wish.”

Phoenix opens her mouth to say something, but before she has the chance, Rooster suddenly bursts into your room without even knocking. You and Phoenix both look at him in surprise, not understanding his intrusion or the wide grin spread across his face. That is until he breathlessly says, “They found him…. And he’s okay… Bob’s okay!”

Phoenix decides to stay behind to give you time alone with Bob, so Rooster leads you quickly down the hall. He fills you in with what he knows: a final rescue team had gone out looking for him and someone had managed to spot his parachute in a deep gorge they had missed before. They found Bob, dehydrated, severely sunburned, and banged up, but overall, he was going to make a full recovery.

As you approach the door to his room, Rooster gives your shoulder a tight squeeze then walks off so you can go in by yourself. Taking a deep breath, you open the door. Bob is laying on a bed, propped up with a few pillows. An IV is connected to his arm to replenish his fluids. All of his visible skin is painfully bright red and peeling from countless hours in the scorching sun. But even though his lips are chapped and cracked, he gives you a soft smile as you hesitantly approach. “Hi.”

His voice is so dry and scratchy it is almost impossible to make out what he said, but you smile back as tears once again spring to your eyes. “Hi. I thought….. I thought I had lost you.”

“Thought so too once or twice. But I had a reason to keep going.” Weakly, he reaches into his flight suit and pulls out a worn strip of paper. Handing it over to you, you instantly recognize it. For your third date, Bob had taken you to a carnival and the two of you had spent way too much money goofing off in the photo booth. While you had taken most of the photos home, you had noticed Bob slip one strip of them into his pocket. That is what you now hold in your hands.

The tears you have been holding back begin streaming down your face. You take his hand gently and whisper, “I love you, Bob. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but I-I was afraid it was too soon. And then when I thought you were gone, and I’d never get the chance to tell you-” Your voice begins quivering too much to continue.

But then Bob reaches out and takes your hand in his as he rasps, “I love you too. I didn’t want to come on too strong but I’ve wanted to say it ever since that night.” He gestures to the pictures still in your hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner.”

Without thinking, you press your lips against his. The cracked, dry feeling immediately reminds you of his condition and you try to pull away, but he places his hand on the back of your neck, holding you in place. So, you carefully lean in, deepening the kiss as you run your fingers through his hair, ignoring the sand and sweat matted there.

You are interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing behind you. The heat rising in your face, you turn around to see a doctor with an amused look on her face standing there. She raises an eyebrow and says, “Sorry to interrupt, but Lieutenant Floyd needs his rest. So, if you don’t mind-”

“Can she please stay?” Bob asks.

The doctor sighs. “Are you actually going to try to get some sleep if she’s here?”

“Yes, ma’am. In fact, I’ll sleep better with her by my side.” Bob smiles softly at you and you bite your lip to suppress your own grin.

“Fine. But if I come back to check on you and I see anything I don’t approve of, she’ll have to leave.”

“Absolutely. Thank you, ma’am.”

The doctor shakes her head with a small smile and leaves. You turn back to Bob. “Are you sure? I can come back later. She’s right. You do need to rest and recover.”

“I can do both with you here….. If you want to stay.”

You squeeze his hand. “Of course, I do.”

Carefully, Bob slides over, making room next to him. You climb onto the bed, curling up against his side with your head resting on his shoulder. You take his glasses off his face and place them on the table next to you before he wraps his arm around you and pulls you in closer. And wrapped in each other’s arms, you both soon drift off to sleep comforted by the thought you are with the person you love once again.

Taglist: @loverhymeswith, @babblydrabbly, @lorecraft, @skvatnavle, @edwardbaldwin, @lacontroller1991, @srry-itshockeyszn, @clints-lucky-arrow, @the-untamed-soul, @inglourious-imagines, @airhogger, @piscesvancouverite, @straightforwardly, @bonnieelizabethparker, @mayhem24-7forever, @cans4dayz, @joalsglasses, @curlyolly, @flyinlove, @green-socks

[leviathanspain]

not the same anymore

marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

synopsis: after layla had found marc, helped marc defeat ammit and get steven back, you couldn’t help but find it difficult to fall into the same rhythm as before..

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“so you just…disappeared?” you asked marc, who stood at your apartment doorway, bags in hand and a weak apologetic smile on his face. the sight of his face was enough to knock the wind out of you. of course layla had alerted you of his appearance and also warned that he’d come home to you, unbeknownst to you though, layla had a hard time convincing marc to even return to you.

it’s not that he didn’t miss you, love you, it’s that he was insecure if you’d take him back or not. but standing before you, marc swallowed thickly as you questioned him without even greeting him. he’s seen military wives greet their husbands who had been gone for less than he was, with tears, the whole thing. but he supposed that he didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve you.

marc nodded, and sighed, “i’m sorry. i did it to protect you and i-“

you shook your head, grabbing his bags and walking into your apartment, marc raised his eyebrow with surprise but he followed you in.

the cool air of your apartment hit him with a rush. there was a slight echo, an emptiness to the apartment that hadn’t been there before. marc looked to find the whole place redecorated, things moved and most importantly, any trace of him was gone.

not even pictures, or his old sandals that he left here when he would come over. nothing.

it had been two years, could he blame you? he was supposed to be dead, missing, somewhere in the cairo desert. but here he was, trying to pretend that time hadn’t continued without him.

you threw his bags down kn the bed and rushed to him, embracing him with a shiver that marc found himself surprised by. you sniffled and didn’t say anything for several minutes. you just held him, and marc found himself dragging a hand up to caress you.

“i fucking hate you so much, right now, spector.” you whispered and marc stilled at your confession. a part of him broke slightly at that, but he knew that he deserved everything you had said. he was a complete asshole.

“im sorry.” he kissed your head and you pulled away, kissing his mouth deeply. marc moved his hands to hold onto your face but you smiled, shyly pulling away, “sex on the first night?” marc raised his eyebrows, but you shook your head, “you’re sleeping on the floor, no way am i going to have sex with you right now.”

“you’re practically a stranger to me again, marc!” you shouted. these past few weeks haven’t gone as smoothly as either of you had hoped.

you had gotten into an argument with marc over the situation of the bed, and you had let him on, but you refused to admit that your body would move to cuddle his when you were asleep.

“don’t say that.” suddenly a new voice broke out and you whipped your head up from your novel, looking at steven now, who was shouldering a sad look.

“i-“ you stood up from your desk and began to pad towards him but steven stepped back, “it’s marc’s fault but you’re punishing all of us, i doubt that’s fair in the slightest.” he shook his head and you looked down, toeing around an old sock on the floor, you sighed.

“cant even look at us when we speak?” another voice cut in and it was jake, and you rolled your eyes, “come on, lockley, i thought you out of all people would understand abandonment.” you stepped towards him and jake walked towards you, a flirty smile on his face as he grabbed your hand, shoving you onto the back of the door, a vicious grin on his face now, “i don’t think you can make that joke right now, especially not when i’m ticked off.” he condescended, and you rolled your eyes.

your crotch was on his thigh, and without a glance, you dragged your cunt down onto his leg, grinding it with a small groan, “do you want me to fuck you, lockley? will that make you guys happy?”

jake scoffed, shoving you back roughly before he let go, “don’t think you can get out of this. marc left, yes that’s fucked up but it happened and we’ve all been back for weeks now! it’s you who has the trouble of letting go!” jake spat and you shook your head, “fuck you. fuck all of tou, im so tired of you guys thinking it’s okay to up and leave me and then come back and expect me to take you back? as if nothing happened?!” your voice cracked at the end of that and jake stared at you silently, his expression unreadable.

“i don’t care if im being too crass or too much of a child to let any of this go, but where were you when i needed you?! enough with the saving the world bullshit or the avatar commitment shit either- i would’ve loved if you hadn’t come back into my life-“

jake laughed, a sickening, rancorous laughter that made your blood chill.

“-it would’ve been easier for all of us.” you continued, a grim line on your lips.

“fine, i’ll make it easy for you now.” jake grabbed a bag, one that marc hadn’t unpacked, and stalked out the door, an irritated look on his face as he left you by the door alone, once again.

[phenomenal1500]

~The Egyptian Excavation~

Masterlist

A/N: A simple and cute story for y'all. Enjoy. (Still have to get used to this character so this is a small experiment.)

Summary: While Marc is trying to fix a problem Steven caused, he meets a long time friend and crush of Steven along the way who doesn't know about his DID yet.

Pairing: Steven Grant/Marc Spector x Archeologist!Reader Warning: Angst & Fluff

Sitting on a few rocks while you ate your lunch that you had made for yourself, you watched your fellow archaeologists dust off the hidden city you all found. It took your group a few years to locate it, but after all the effort, here you were. With all the excitement in your head, you couldn't really swallow your food but you forced yourself to do so because you needed the energy and this was the only break you would get today. You also couldn't really distract yourself from the nerves and excitement either because there were no services so no using your phone.

Instead, you decided to enjoy the view of the desert behind you as you turned around. You could still remember that your family asked you if you were already sick of all the sand and warmth the last time you returned, but honestly you could never be bored by it. Not even after 80 years of doing your job, you were certain of it. The desert had its own beauty and you loved the nostalgia it gave you every time you returned to it. It was like it kept calling you to come back too.

Your hands unwrapped some more of your sandwich and you suddenly squint your eyes to look in the distance. You had no idea if what you saw was real, but it looked like a very big animal was walking around on one of the furthest hills.

You had never seen a big animal in the desert though so this was very unlikely.

Were you hallucinating? You shook your head and put your cap on your head again. It was probably nothing and you were just exhausted by the warmth.

Returning your focus to your lunch, you looked up once more out of curiosity and suddenly heard a loud groan and a yell that made you scan the area a little better, spotting what you thought was an animal falling down one of the hills close by. However, it was actually a human.... a very familiar sounding human too.

You abandoned your food in an instance and ran down the hill you sat on to look for the man, seeing a head pop up from the sand after a few seconds. "Oh my god, Steven?!" You yelled and ran to him, dropping to your knees to help him.

"Don't worry, I'm okay." He dusted off his clothes while he got up, his accent not present at all. "And it's Marc." He corrected you.

"Marc?" You backed off a little, clearly confused. "Huh....?"

"Yes." He gave you a single nod and turned his back to you, clearly in a rush. "And I have to go."

"But...." You were so happy you thought you had found Steven here with you in Egypt that you didn't really pay any attention. He could've been some doppelgänger or perhaps you were just imagining him in someone else. That was possible too. "Never mind, I thought you were someone else." You whispered, rubbing your eyes to perhaps make yourself see properly again.

"Don't hurt them like that please.... they don't know about our problem." Steven begged to Marc, hoping he would somehow listen and hand over the control, but he didn't so Steven continued. "They're my best friend, I haven't seen them in so long. Please turn around."

"No! You have to stop thinking that you can take over control because I won't let that happen!" Marc shouted so loud he accidentally startled you and made you trip over your own feet as you tried to walk away from the man.

"Look what you bloody did, they're scared now."

"Why do you care? Got a little crush on your 'best friend'?" He growled silently and watched you over his shoulder trying to get up.

"I.... So what? Can I please talk to them?"

"Fine, you have 5 minutes and then you hand over control again. Yeah?" Marc crossed his arms, waiting for Steven to answer before starting a timer.

"Yeah." Steven agreed and Marc stopped walking, his head beginning to look up while he blinked a few times meaning he was giving Steven control. After that his shoulder slumped and his head lowered before he turned around quickly. "Y/N?" Steven called out, glaring at you sitting in the sand.

"Steven?" You tilted your head, hearing his pretty accent mix with your name. "What's going on?"

"I.... I'm broken." He whispered and walked towards you slowly, helping you up once he was close enough. "I don't know how to explain it."

"DID?" It suddenly clicked in your mind as you went through all the possibilities and you looked him in his eyes, still holding his hand that he had offered you while helping you up from the hot sand. "You have DID, Steven?"

"I think so." He nodded slowly, his eyes focused on his shoes again. "I don't know for how long, I don't even know if I'm the original one.... and if you want to stay friends. I haven't seen you in so long." He began to ramble and closed his eyes.

"Listen to me." You interrupted him before he could go on for much longer, pulling him into a soothing embrace because you knew that would hopefully calm him down. "I don't care if you aren't the original one, or that you have DID in general. You're a human too and I chose you as my best friend right? You're a good person, Steven, and I couldn't care less if you have DID or not. That doesn't change who you are." You played with his hair while he buried his face in your shoulder. "It's going to be okay, and Marc doesn't seem that bad right?"

"He's a bit of a twat actually." He chuckled nervously while he took his time in letting go of you, hoping Marc couldn't find a way to say something back to him. "But he's going to pay me back for saying that when I let him take control so forget that."

You chuckled too, rubbing his shoulders to soothe his nervousness. "What are you doing here in Egypt by the way? You're busy with something?"

"I actually am, it's a bit of a secret, but I have 3 more minutes." He checked the timer and smiled in a sweet way, secretly admiring your features while he looked into the horizon for a moment. If you had 3 more minutes with Steven, it meant you unfortunately had to skip the whole catching up part and just straight up show him what you found. You knew he was a total Egyptian geek and he would love to see the lost city of Egypt he told you about a long time ago.

"I want to show you something cool then." You grabbed his hand and quickly dragged him along since he didn't have that much time anymore. "You will love it. I actually began looking for this after you told me the story a few years back." You explained while you helped him up the hill you sat on before.

"Um, I don't quite remember~...."

"That doesn't matter. You will once you see it." You interrupted him. "Look." You pointed at the half visible city that was appearing from the huge opening you and your team dug.

"The lost city of Egypt?" He whispered with joy. "You found it?"

"I did." You nodded, holding his hand again and giving it a soft squeeze.

"It's beautiful." He smiled widely and stared at the old walls and rooms in front of him. "Just like you...." He whispered that part unconsciously. It just sort of slipped and he suddenly looked at you in shock when he noticed what he had said. "I'm so~...."

"Don't, don't be." You reassured him and pulled him close, hugging him tightly which made him smile. He then automatically wrapped his arms around you too, rubbing your back gently while you mumbled into his chest. "How much time do you have?"

"1 minute." He whispered back and you looked up, moving your hands up to caress his jaw before you suddenly pressed your lips against his softly. You couldn't wait any longer and definitely not after what Marc had said about Steven having a crush on you, you had to know because you honestly felt the same way. His hands slid down to hold your hips while he kissed back just as slow and passionate as you did and you smiled into the kiss. It was clear both of you felt some sort of connection and love between the two of you and the feeling melted into the kiss perfectly.

You two stayed like that for a moment before you both pulled back. "Promise me you will visit me sometime again? To catch up on things and figure this thing out between us?"

"I promise I will if Marc lets me." He chuckled and ruffled your hair a bit before the timer went off. "I have to go. You still live in the same house?"

"I do, it's still the same address.... and um, I guess I see you later, Steven." You waved a little and took a step back to give him some space.

"Bye love."

[kyberphilosopher]

Smile

Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.

“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”

“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. 

“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish. 

You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.

At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views. 

Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that. 

After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in. 

Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss. 

And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?

“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid. 

You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”

Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you. 

There it is. 

“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm. 

He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”

You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”

“I did want to see you.”

“Do you still?”

Silence. 

“Yes.”

“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here. 

“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had. 

He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection. 

You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him. 

“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you. 

“You’re welcome.”

The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming. 

“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite. 

“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”

“You want me to kill ‘em?”

Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing. 

“No.”

“How are they, then?”

Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”

“Can you see who’s next?”

He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.” 

Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway. 

“Will you give her something for me?”

Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames. 

“How are things here?” he questions after a minute. 

“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”

Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.

Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using. 

Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him. 

You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this. 

Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light. 

You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often. 

“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier. 

He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way. 

The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge. 

A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket. 

“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back. 

“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin. 

“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still. 

“You didn’t.”

You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds. 

“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist. 

In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments. 

“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him. 

Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder. 

“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”

“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat. 

“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren. 

His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips. 

“I worried about you.”

A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise. 

Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have. 

It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be. 

“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips. 

“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time. 

You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story. 

“I said again.”

“Eren,” you moan.  

His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick. 

But then...

What is he doing?

He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure. 

“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him. 

Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric. 

It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense. 

“Eren.”

Another gruff moan from him. 

“Eren! Stop! Stop!”

Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum. 

His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.

“C-can we... Eren...” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly. 

He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over. 

Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you. 

Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience. 

“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”

Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back. 

The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years. 

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this. 

Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?

Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs. 

Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?

Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably. 

“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”

You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly. 

“I hate it when you go.”

Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him. 

“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally. 

Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes. 

“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him. 

A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon