#have you discovered the shift key yet

[redwing4life]

Forgotten Alarms

CHAPTER 1 | ASHES TO EMBERS

PAIRING: Firefighter!Neighbour!Bucky x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: Mentions of night terrors, trapped in small spaces, brief mention of reader being worried about bucky holding her weight, nothing else other than bucky being cute af

SUMMARY: When you get stuck in an elevator with your neighbour (who also happens to be your crush), you discover your interest in the firefighter isn’t as one-sided as you thought.

WORD COUNT: 2736

NEXT CHAPTER

“You’re late, doll.”

The teasing voice of your neighbour catches you off guard when you open your front door; your hand slaps over your heart as you jump from shock.

“Says you” you smirk as you come down from the surprise. You step out of your door fully, turning and pulling it shut behind you.

Bucky chuckles, locking his own door while you do the same. He can’t help but sneak another glance your way - a light blush creeping up your neck under his gaze.

You think you’d be used to him by now, have your little crush under control seeing as you find yourselves leaving for work at the same time regularly. And yet here you are, heart beating faster than you’d like while you fumble with your keys.

Despite being late for work, Bucky waits for you to finish locking up before falling into step beside you as you walk down the hallway to the elevator.

“So let me guess, you slept through your alarm again?” The firefighter raises a brow, amused by your flushed appearance - unsure if that’s his effect on you or the fact your shift started five minutes ago.

“Worse,” you wince, “didn’t even set the damn thing.”

If you didn’t love it so much so much, you’d be inclined to be offended at the snort of a laugh he lets out. “Oh, doll.” Bucky shakes his head with a grin still left on his lips.

“What ‘bout you, Barnes? Spend too much time doing your hair?”

One unamused glare your way and now you’re the one giggling. Walking up to the elevator, you press the button to go down before stepping back to face Bucky.

“I’ll have you know, I woke up looking this good” He winks at you, hoping you’ll accept his non-answer for an answer. But you both know why he woke up late.

He barely even fell asleep, now that his nightmares are back.

His screams travel through the thin walls at night, falling on concerned ears. You pretend as though you don’t hear his night terrors but he sees the slight tug at your brows the next morning, the way you’re desperate to ask if he’s okay. But you never do; you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. You offered your help once, and you’re not sure you have the right to ask again.

“Who said you look good?” You tease, hoping to lighten the mood.

The elevator dings and the doors open. “Well the old lady whose cat we saved yesterday said I was the most handsome man in town” He smirks as you both step inside.

“Oh that’s high praise, Barnes” You reply, watching as he presses the ground floor button.

A comfortable silence falls upon the elevator as it roars back to life. Pulling out your phone, you fire a quick text to your boss to apologise for being late before shoving it back into your back pocket.

Bucky turns to you, “What time do you fin-“

A loud clunk sounds from above the lift and it stops moving, dropping a couple inches before coming to a halt again.

“Oh, shit” You all but whisper, almost afraid of speaking too loudly in case it sends you tumbling down.

“Well,” Bucky’s eyes are on the ceiling, “that didn’t sound great”

If you weren’t so nervous, you might slap him for stating the fucking obvious. Your eyes fall to your hand that’s grabbed his, not even realising you’d reached for him when the lift stopped.

Your cheeks burn crimson before you release the death grip you had on his wrist, ignoring the sparks resting beneath your fingertips.

“You okay, doll?” His voice softens when he sees the fear in your eyes.

“Umm..” You stutter, voice as shaky as your hands are.

“Hey, hey,” Bucky’s hands are on your shoulders now, “you’re shaking, Y/n. What’s wrong? What do you need me to do?”

Clenching your eyes shut, you take a deep breath. “Tell me we’re not about to fall to our deaths, please”

Your neighbour lets out a breathy ‘Oh, doll’ and strokes his thumbs over your shoulders. When you open your eyes, his blue ones bear into yours reassuringly, “We’re not gonna fall to our deaths.”

“This hunk of junk hasn’t been serviced in years but i’m pretty sure it’s just jammed or the powers cut out. Either way, we’re gonna be just fine” He continues.

You let out a wavering breath and nod slowly. “Okay. So what now?” You ask.

Bucky drops one of his hands to get his phone (much to your dismay), “I’m gonna call for the crew to come get us”

“Wait,” You frown, “why not press the help button?”

Bringing his phone to his ear, Bucky replies as it starts ringing. “Well, after Mr Garvey lugs his ass outta bed, he’d be calling them anyways. Might as well avoid being stuck here longer than we have to”

Ahh, Mr Garvey; the landlord to the whole building who also happens to be the laziest fucker around.

You mumble and ‘okay’ and roll your bottom lip between your teeth - completely unaware of the admiring eyes on you.

Eventually, a voice sounds from the other side of the phone and Bucky explains the situation, rambling off the information they need to find you. With a quick thank you, the call is over and you’re left with nothing but time to waste.

Your eyes follow the man before you as he approaches the far wall, sliding down it till he’s sat with one leg stretched out, the other bent at the knee where he rests his elbow.

“It’s alright, doll. You can sit down, it won’t break anything” He cocks his head to side, eyeing up your hesitant features.

You choose to trust him; after all, he is the one best qualified to know what will and won’t make this obnoxiously small lift crash to the ground.

Letting yourself drop to the floor, you sit with your knees up due to the lack of space to stretch your legs. Bucky is right in front of you, the tight squeeze seemingly not bothering him.

“Great day to be late, huh” You scoff lightly.

“Yeah well, at least we’re together”

A laugh escapes you, drawing a confused expression from your neighbour. “Let’s not pretend as though you need me here. If it weren’t for me you’d probably be climbing outta this thing”

“You overestimate my abilities, sweets. I’m no spider-man” He replies. Those damn pet names make you blush every time.

“You know,” you tilt your head a little to the left, “I can’t think of anyone who still uses ‘doll’ or ‘sweets�� aside from you”

You swear there’s a glint in Bucky’s eye when he replies, “Do you blush when someone calls you ‘baby’ as much as you do when I call you ‘doll’?”

Thinking for a moment, you shyly shake your head in response; he raises his brows at you, as though your answer proves his point. You wonder if he’s old fashioned in other ways. If he’s one to buy his girl flowers or open a car door for them. Maybe he’s just as polite in bed, though you find yourself disappointed at the thought. God, you need to stop thinking of him like that, no matter how hot he would look between your-

“You seeing that fella from last week again?”

Bucky’s question brings you out of your day dreams and you’re surprised by it, unaware he had any interest in your love life.

“Peter?” He nods. “No, I don’t think so. We weren’t really one the same page, if that makes sense”

“How so?”

You shrug slightly, “He’s fresh out of college and looking for a fuck buddy, not a genuine relationship.” You look away from Bucky as you continue. “And even if I wanted that, he’s hardly mature enough to know what he’s doing”

With your gaze settled on your hands, you miss the way Bucky starts biting his lip as he wonders what type of man would fulfil your needs. He shakes his head clear of those thoughts, not wanting to make a fool of himself.

“What about you? Haven’t heard any visitors at yours for a little while” You comment, hoping he doesn’t think you’ve been spying on him.

He lets out a dry laugh, “Lets just say I prefer my nights off with a beer and listening to you play the piano.”

“Oh god, you hear that?” You cover your face with your hands when he nods. “I hope I don’t disturb you. I didn’t think it-“

“It’s fine, doll,” he nudges your thigh with his boot, “I like it”

Your cheeks burn yet again as you drop your hands. “You do?”

“How could I not? You play beautifully. I’ve thought of slipping a request under your door but I didn’t wanna be the creep next door”

You giggle, “You couldn’t be creepy if you tried, Barnes”

“In that case, you should know my cat loves your music too”

With a gasp, you lean closer to Bucky till you’re sat cross legged barely a foot away from him. “James Barnes, the firefighter, has a cat!?”

You revel in his hearty laugh, eyes dancing across his face. From the crinkles at the corners of his eyes to the deep smile lines framing his mouth, you can’t help but be drawn to his beauty.

He sobers up. “Her name’s Alpine.” He says, “She was left at the firehouse a couple of years ago so I took her home with me. She’s probably the only thing that loves your music more than me”

A grin tugs at your lips as you enjoy the thought of your neighbour cuddled up with a little cat.

“If we make it outta here alive, I wanna meet her”

“We’ll be fine, doll. The crew’ll be here any minute now”

You hum and silence consumes the air once more. The soft dim glow of the overhead lights falls gracefully on your features and Bucky can’t pull his eyes away. He knows you’re not too fond of the situation you’re both in and yet he can’t help but thank whatever beings made this happen; to finally have an excuse to talk to you longer than your usual small talk, to tell you how much he’s in awe your piano playing.

He’s not ready to tell you that he’s rather in awe of you, too. Maybe next time you’re stuck in a lift together.

With the silence so heavy on your ears, your mind drifts to the reason you’re here in the first place. The reason he is here.

The nightmares.

You know he hasn’t slept properly in weeks; the dark circles beneath his eyes are just a glimpse of his exhaustion. And as much as you’re scared of pushing him away, the weight on your chest is growing too heavy to bear.

“I know you’re having nightmares again.”

Bucky stills.

“Those screams, James, I-“

“It’s nothing” He cuts you off with stern words. Your brows pull together, eyes laced with worry.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing. I thought they got better.“

His head falls back against the wall behind him, “Well you thought wrong.”

You curse yourself beneath your breath as you run your hands through your hair, searching for the right thing to say.

“I’m worried about you, James.” You breathe, eyes fluttering shut. You’re scared that if you look at him, you’ll cave in and promise to never ask about it again. “I get that i’m just your neighbour but I can’t keep acting like I can’t see there’s something wrong.“

“There is nothing wrong!” Bucky’s tone is sharp, not quite shouting but no longer calm.

Your eyes snap open, training on the clench of his jaw, the sole hint of any emotion on his face.

“I’m dealing with it. So you need to stop acting like you know me because you don’t.”

And there it goes. The worry in your chest morphs into regret. Regret for bringing it up, regret for thinking you could help, regret for hearing his screams in the first place.

“Okay”

Bucky hates how timid your voice is, barely loud enough over the ringing of his own heartbeat. That and the voice in his head telling him he’s a piece of shit. He wishes he could take it all back but he doesn’t know how to, so he decides that silence is better than opening his damn mouth and making things worse.

The pair of you sit there in silence, one that’s far less comfortable than before, and stare at the ceiling, waiting for help to arrive.

When it does, you count your lucky stars that the lift stopped just at the doors to the second floor. Bucky helps the crew pull the doors open enough for you both to climb through. You feel his blue eyes on you as you wait for them to stabilise the lift, avoiding his gaze at all costs.

“Okay, Ma’am,” One of the firefighters calls, the name ‘Rogers’ written on his jacket, “we need you guys to climb up here and we’ll pull you out.”

Your eyes widen at the thought of pulling yourself up there, suddenly very aware of your frankly appalling upper body strength.

Rogers catches the hesitation on your face. “Don’t worry, Buck will help you up so you can get out first”

Turning to look at your neighbour, you lock eyes for the first time in ten minutes. His lips are turned into an awkward half smile, changing his entire demeanour from one of a brooding firefighter to a sheepish kid.

You don’t know how long the pair of you stand there staring at each other, but it’s long enough for Roger’s to clear his throat in attempt to regain your attention.

Bucky steps closer to you while the crew get ready above you. “You okay with this, doll?”

You nod, “As long as this thing doesn’t fall while i’m half way through and snap my body in half, i’m good”

That heartwarming laugh fills your ears and the firefighter shakes his head in amusement. At least he doesn’t hate you enough to leave you to get out on your own.

“Well lucky for you, that ain’t gonna happen”

You roll your bottom lip between your teeth. “Okay, how is this gonna work?”

Bucky moves to stand below the gap, facing you. He lowers himself down to one knee before reaching for your hand.

His skin is warm but rough, gentle but strong as he pulls you closer to him. The unexpected tug on your hand sends you tumbling toward him, your right hand bracing yourself on his shoulder to regain your balance while his free hand lands on your hip.

You mumble an apology, flustered at the intense heat beneath his hands and the way Bucky is looking up at you.

“You good?” He asks, voice dripping with awe, though you’re oblivious to the admiration, still plagued by the way he shut you down earlier.

When you nod, Bucky removes his hand from your hip and taps his knee. “You’re gonna step on my knee, then on my shoulder and you then should be close enough for Steve to grab you and pull you out”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you” You admit, nervous at the thought of letting Bucky take your body weight on his shoulders.

He looks up at you through his lashes “Do you trust me, sweets?”

“Yes” You reply, not even having to think about it. There may be some walls between you, but you know he’s on the other side, waiting.

“Good, then get up here”

Bucky shouts up to the crew that he’s giving you a boost now and after hearing them shout back that they’re ready, you place your foot on Bucky’s knee and push yourself up.

“Don’t drop me” You warn, reaching up to the gap in preparation.

“Wouldn’t dream of it”

And with that, you climb onto your neighbours shoulders and stretch up for Steve to grab your hands.

Along with Bucky pushing your feet up, Steve pulls you out and you slide through the gap until you’re free of that god forsaken elevator.

“Well thank fuck for that” You groan, spread across the floor on your back, making the crew laugh.

You barely have time to recover before Bucky is stood above you, having lugged himself out with ease.

“Guess you won’t be forgetting to set your alarm again, ay?”

NEXT CHAPTER

a/n: first chapterrrrrr! hope you enjoyed, if you have any questions dm me or drop an ask <3

new chapter will be out soon, thanks to everyone to voted on the poll i put out, i hope it’s as good as you wished it would be :)

comment if you’d like to be added to my ashes to embers taglist 🧡

[romanceyourdemons]

being a court official sounds like so much fun. put on a silly little hat. undermine your rival’s memorial in court. share a delicious melon snack with your peers and give your rival an obvious backhanded compliment. accept bribes. discover that one of your rival’s subordinates has stolen the glory for one of your subordinates’ hard work. arrange for the emperor’s most trusted eunuch to discover that subordinate of your rival in a compromising position. stand in a garden with a hand behind your back and absently recite poetry, your thoughts heavy with other affairs. receive public censure in court for corruption, exposed by your rival. present a lavish birthday gift to a young, ambitious imperial concubine with relatives in key places. orchestrate your rival’s banishment to guangxi. accidentally encounter him the night before he is to leave, shielded from the glare of the moon by the stone arch of a bridge. help cover up a scandal committed by the brother-in-law of the young concubine—by now elevated to consort—even though the young man’s shameless actions disgust you. submit a memorial to the throne. receive word that your rival has died of malaria in guangxi. plead sickness and refrain from attending court for three weeks as you compose a poem about the wind rushing through the boughs of a pine tree, never to return. consolidate your power yet increasingly feel that whatever you truly want is forever out of your reach. watch the consort’s brother-in-law’s scandal be revealed to the world. be implicated in it, more severely than you have ever imagined you would be—more severely even than you actually were. receive a white silk from the emperor. glance up as you accept it and see your rival’s insignificant nephew smiling. a smile that almost looks familiar. be reincarnated as a silver carp, often seen side-by-side with a golden carp beneath the shifting yet ever-flowing waters of the yongding river. the whole shebang

[lvndosnorris]

take it • l. norris smut headcannon

paring: female reader x lando norris

authors note: i think i've discovered my love for writing headcannons... they actually allow my brain to concentrate!! anyway thank you for all the love on my first ever piece eeek <3

warnings:

inbox: open

you'd been waiting for him all day — constantly checking your phone to see if he was on his way back, jumping at every sound outside your apartment. glances at the clock soon becoming some type of chore as you'd stifle a sigh and try to concentrate on the tv instead

shifting on the sofa once, twice; thighs squeezing together in a sly attempt to try and find some sort of release

"i've been waiting for you-" smothering lando as soon as he threw his keys down, arms outstretched in your direction as you bound up to him with a whine

and of course he looked all confused; lips pouted, eyebrows knitted as he cocked his head trying to figure what you meant and why you were all over him within a matter minutes

lips attached to the corner of his mouth in a hasty kiss as you fisted the material of his shirt. it was needy, hot, messy; your lips clashing with his as you tilted your head back so that his tongue could slip deeper into your mouth

"and what have i done to deserve this type of welcoming baby? hm?"

the idea of answering your boyfriend's cocky question not even crossing your mind as you backed the two of you to the sofa, the back of your knees hitting the cushions as his fingers splayed over the bare skin of your thighs

silently waiting for him to take a seat — bottom lip sucked between his teeth as he stared up at you. vision hazed and completely blinded by intense lust for you

perching on his lap as you'd kiss him silly

a mixture of slow, languid kisses where his tongue stroked against yours. savouring each second of one another as you whined impatiently because the heat between your legs was becoming more and more obvious

"you want it? you want it so bad? take it baby, go on"

gripping your waist as he chuckled at the way you avoided eye contact, face burning as you toyed with the waistband of his joggers before finally shifting them loosely down his hips

struggling to drag them any further as lando brushed his mouth against the spot on your neck that always drove you crazy — pushing your internal buttons all in the right way as your head lulled back, fingers pinching at his taunt flesh, moaning

your noises soft, yet laced with hunger

not even bothering to undress yourself fully, thumbs pushing your sodden underwear to the side as he clicked his tongue in his mouth - "naughty girl"

a silent sob itching the back of your throat as he slipped his tip inside of you

barely inside of you, yet here you were; clenching around nothing, bucking your hips to try and meet his half-attempt at a thrust

only giving into you when you begged him to, his name falling from your tongue like it was the only thing you knew how to say

and oh, how sweet it sounded

your body completely folding as he held your hips for you, blunt fingernails digging into you as he pushed your against him — not letting you wriggle or writhe away

simply making you take whatever he had to give

lando's grunts deep and guttural, like he'd been holding them back just like you had all day

each thrust of his cock sending your spiralling: every time he bottomed out he found himself going deeper, obsessed with the way you fluttered and hugged his shaft so tightly

"if you keep doing that i'm not going to last long at all angel"

[poppadom0912]

Hii! 🙋🏻‍♀️

I saw that you are accepting requests, can I request an imagine with Jay Halstead where he and the reader (a surgeon) don't get along very well and, as fate would have it, they both live in the same building. One night the reader discovers that there is a camera hidden in the lampshade that she got from a strange guy, so the guy threatens her and Jay protects her. 😅❤️

Sorry for my English.

Warnings: Stalking/pedo men, brief hospitals, small injuries, and swearing.

A/N: Now that my series is done, I can finally get to completing and putting out all these requests. I wrote this in school. And do not apologise for your English, it was perfect.

Life is stressful right now so I lowkey got carried away writing this because it's somehow nearly 3k words but please do enjoy this!!

You weren’t too sure when it all actually started but it was too late to reverse time now.

Growing up, there was no way to avoid the Halstead brothers because all the way throughout your childhood up until the age of eighteen, you all went to school together and outside, your mothers were near inseparable. You could never catch a break.

What made matters even more confusing was that you didn’t mind Will, on fact, the two of you were quite good friends. You tolerated Will and with both your combined loves for medicine, an inevitable friendship bloomed but even with this, you and Jay just could not get along.

The only time you ever found solace was when the two of you finally parted ways after high school. You remained in Chicago to become a doctor and later surgeon while Jay, he spontaneously decided to enrol to become an army ranger. Your shock could not be hidden.

With both brothers out your life, days were so much more simple. From time to time, you wouldn’t say it aloud but you missed Wil’s company but Jay, his absence almost made it as though he never existed in the first place. And yes, maybe that was a bit cruel but the genuine hatred you had at the mere thought of him or the sight of his face, it made you want to hurl.

And the rest was history. Even with the more recent parts being a bit more pleasant yet depressive, your pure hatred for him didn’t seem to wane.

*****

Fast forward a few years and this is how it all is: your father remained ever so absent, both mothers passed away several years ago, Pat died last year, you and Will worked together and you and Jay weren’t exactly civil.

Living in the same building, on the exact same floor and literal doors apart could only do so much damage.

Today had been a very, very long day. You had just been on shift for a double that had run over because of the complicated surgery that almost went sideways last minute. You were practically dead on your feet. You loved trauma surgery as much as the next trauma surgeon but you could go without blood and scalpels for the next few hours because sleep was calling your name like a siren song.

Upon Connor’s insistence, he drove you home because he expressed his fear of you sleeping on the train and never getting off.

Finally in your apartment building, you dragged your feet to your door, your keys almost missing the hole due to your sudden misalignment. Your mind was nearing haziness but with one final push, you were inside and collapsed on your bed.

Sleep was instant. It was expected but you also weren’t surprised when you knocked out and woke up randomly at two in the morning. You felt semi-rejuvenated but you could definitely sleep for longer.

Drowsily, you stripped out of your clothes, chucking them towards the basket before walking into the bathroom. Doing what you needed to do, you returned and searched for comfortable pyjamas that were good enough for this heat.

Standing half naked in your own bedroom in the apartment that you rented alone was a completely normal thing to do. Never in your life did you need to be paranoid or extra careful. You were in the comfort of your own home, so why was there the need to be riddled with anxiety.

Well, apparently you should’ve because as you pulled you cotton shorts on, rummaging through your draw for an oversized shirt, you caught a miniscule red dot. You were so tired you contemplated if it was a hallucination but a few minutes later, remaining in the same position, the nano dot was still there.

Diverting your attention to the suspicious dot, you threw on a random shirt but somehow, during the milliseconds your head spent under the shirt before it reappeared, the red dot disappeared.

Now you were on edge. Sleep didn’t come as easy this time.

In the morning, everything looked the same. Going around, you tried to look for anything that could’ve been tampered with but alas, everything was in tip top condition. Maybe you really were so out of that that you were delusional, it all really could’ve been a hallucination.

You had a few more hours before you needed to go back to work and considering the state of your empty fridge, grocery shopping seemed like a promising idea.

Your sweetening mood however quickly turned sour at the familiar sight of a certain detective standing down the hallway, walking in the same direction as you towards the buildings only elevator.

Sighing in disappointment, you readjusted the tote bag on your shoulders and walked ahead anyway. There was no way you were letting this man ruin your mood.

Being stuck in the elevator though, it did ruin your mood a little.

For once in your entire life though, Jay didn’t rile you up. He didn’t say anything nor did he even attempt to roll his eyes when he saw you. It was weird, he barely even acknowledged you.

And you hated to admit it, but you didn’t like it. As much as you despised the man, Jay acting as if you were a ghost was something that irked you. But obviously, you were never going to tell him that, it’d only boost his already enormous ego.

*****

“You look like a rat.”

“Ha ha, you’re so funny.”

You took it all back. Everything you said two days ago, you were taking it all back. Jay could rot and burn in hell and you still wouldn’t care.

Over the course of twelve hours, something must’ve changed because Jay’s renewed vigour was back and it was here to stay. You didn’t relish his silence long enough because the second he opened his mouth, your headache returned.

Next time, you were dragging Will and forcing him to escort you up to your apartment door because at least then he’d save you, he’d make this all much more bearable.

The sudden change in weather suited your mood, the rain mimicking your emotions that Jay was only half responsible for. The other half was a result of your newly achieved paranoia and anxiety that made itself known whenever you came home.

No matter where you searched or how many hours you slept, the red dot came and then disappeared again. It was annoying and it came to the point that you tried avoiding you bedroom especially as much as possible. To not be comfortable and safe in your own home wasn’t right.

Rolling your eyes, you fished your keys out of your bag and ignored whatever Jay was saying. You’d known him for so long that blocking out his voice had become second nature, it was something you did subconsciously.

You wished his apartment was before yours, that way at least you could have some peace but life worked in funny ways.

Stopping in front of your door, you were just about to unlock it when your body froze.

“What’s wrong?”

The sudden change in your mood caught him off guard, your frozen body worrying him slightly. He might’ve shared your feelings of hostility but you were his older brothers best friend, which had to count for something.

Following your line of sight, Jay’s eyes hardened at the unlocked door, a slither of light leaking out from inside as the door sat ajar. You definitely locked it this morning, there was no doubt about it.

Maybe you had the right to be paranoid. Perhaps you should’ve acted on it sooner.

Not wasting another second, Jay pushed you behind him and drew his gun. With his shoe, he gently nudged the door open and began surveying the apartment bit by bit with practised precision.

You hadn’t seen the man in action for a while now, it was weird to see him so proper and serious.

With nothing out of place and all valuable belongings safe and sound, Jay deduced that for now, things should be fine but if need be, if anything was out of the ordinary, he was the first person you called.

And for the first time ever in over thirty years, you made Jay a promise.

*****

You kept to your promise. This was a matter you weren’t going to mess around with, even if it was with Jay.

You had just come out of the shower, hair dripping wet, shorts and an oversized shirt on because despite the rain it was still humid and the summer heat wasn’t going away anytime soon.

Stepping into the dark room, you started patting your hair dry with a towel and walked towards the lamp so there was at least some lighting. A dimly lit room made you feel less paranoid.

It was upon turning the lamp on though did your anxiety peak. This new height it reached making it hard for you to breathe all of a sudden.

Without even thinking of the consequences, Jay’s number was the first thing you found on your phone, his contact name pressed within seconds of your discovery.

Heart pounding out of your chest, you forced yourself to move at the sound of the door. This fear was almost paralysing, you didn’t even know what to make of all of it.

“What happened?” Jay’s concern was immediate. All you did was call him and he came over without question. Your call alone told him enough.

You stared at him wide eyed, words lodged at the back of your throat but they wouldn’t go any further than that. Remaining wordless, you simply grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards your room and he followed obediently.

Your bedroom was now back to pitch black; you turned the lamp off straight away because the pyjamas you wore left little for imagination. That trail of thought made you want to be sick.

Jay stood beside you; your hand still wrapped around his wrist tightly while your other still held the wet hair towel that you probably should put away. He surveyed the dark room, taking it all in and trying to poke out anything out of the ordinary.

It was only when you tugged on his wrist, his head turning down to you before following your line of sight and pointed finger towards your innocent looking lamp that idly sat on your bedside table.

But it turned out to be not so innocent after all. Jay immediately saw the red dot no matter its small size, he saw it straight away and alarm bells went off.

Gently prying your fingers off his wrist, Jay holstered his gun and strode towards the lamp, tilting the lamp shade as he fiddled with something underneath. It didn’t take long before he stood up to his full height with a small black square in his palm.

This all-escalated way too fast for your liking.

*****

Jay refused to let you see anything from what he told you was a camera; he wouldn’t let you see it even for a price but he did briefly talk about what he saw in very little detail. What he told you was more than enough to make you want to bleach your body in a bath and move out of state to a place no one would know you.

Jay also wasn’t one hundred percent confident in letting you return back to your apartment alone. That’s how you found yourself wrapped in a blanket sitting cross-legged on his sofa, hiding yourself and your body from the world. Even with your shirt and shorts on, you felt liked dying at the thought of a man staring you down with intentions all but pure.

Gosh, you wanted to be sick.

Slowly sipping some water from a cup Jay silently handed you, you tried relaxing, rotating your shoulders to try release any of the tension but you failed. Fidgeting with anything was the only way you were able to not focus on the conversation Jay was having on the phone in the next room over. He was probably most likely talking to someone else from Intelligence.

The rest of the night, well more very early morning really, Jay explained the plan about how Intelligence were going to go about this but it would all happen in the morning at an actual suitable time.

With much bickering, Jay forced you into his bed as he took the sofa. It was weird that this was the most civil and even most nicest interaction the two of you ever had in either of your lifetimes. You wouldn’t tell him this unless under a life-or-death situation, but you kind’ve liked it. When Jay wasn’t being such a bastard, he was actually kind of decent.

Goodness, thinking about him was not something you would’ve ever thought of doing before yet here you were, thinking about your childhood nemesis at work.

The morning was relatively fine sprinkled with bits of awkwardness. Jay forcefully drove you to work when you insisted on going in today despite his attempts of getting you to stay home. If you tried and told Ms Goodwin the truth, she was very likely to give you the day off. Your stubbornness didn’t wane though.

You shift was normal, going from boring and mundane to fast paced just how you liked it. Nothing changed and it was relieving to be surrounded by familiarity and some sort of routine, it was a big distraction from the mess waiting for you at home. You tried keeping yourself occupied at every moment because any second you got alone with your deprecating thoughts, you were for sure going to spiral to a dark place.

And you’d been doing a great job at keeping busy till a certain detective walked in through the ED doors.

From the corner of your eyes, nothing about him looked off but when you squinted and walked towards him, you could make out a bloody gash poking out from his ripped jacket sleeve.

Now, Jay being hurt at work was nothing new. In fact, it was to be expected and you’d never been too bothered by it unlike Will was whenever his injured brother walked in so casually like it was another normal Wednesday.

However, you knew what he was doing at work today and your concerns peaked to such a height that Will had no reason to be worried anymore; you took it all from him.

“What happened?” You tried to remain somewhat calm, schooling your face as you dragged his non-injured arm towards an empty treatment room. Internally, you were glad Will was in surgery otherwise he’d be smirking and laughing like a manic at the sight he was seeing, a sight he’d never even envision in his dreams.

“We found the guy.” Jay ignored your question, begrudgingly sitting down on the bed, rolling his eyes when you wouldn’t let him get up. “We arrested him. Platt’s booking him as we speak.”

And just like that, all the weights pushing you down under the ground dissipated and you were beyond relieved.

You hands faltered as they went to grab some gauze, your eyes looking up to see whether or not he was lying but the soft smile spread across his lips, you didn’t need to question his credibility.

Without thinking, your arms wrapped around his shoulders and interlocked around his neck. Instinctively, you squeezed him a little, eyes shut as you relished in the good news. For a while, the world around you didn’t exist before it all came rushing back.

Suddenly, you abruptly pulled back, eyes wide in shock as your actions sunk in. Pressing your lips together tightly, you avoided eye contact and went back to preparing the gauze and butterfly strips, maybe even some wipes to see the real extent of the damage your stalker inflicted onto Jay.

Jay huffed in amusement and you could feel his eyes burning into the side of your head. All of a sudden, you felt the need to smother his god forsaken handsome face-

What the fuck? There was no way you just thought that.

“He looks worse than me, don’t worry.” Jay started again, a smug smirk on his face as he spoke, his eyes not moving from your face. “He was being a bit of a dick so I roughed him up a little. This little nick is nothing.”

And for once, you didn’t doubt the truth behind his words. You fondly rolled your eyes before going to clean his bicep that was no longer covered by his jacket.

“My saviour.” You smiled placatingly, making brief eye contact before breaking it. “What would I have done without you.”

And for once again, there was no sarcasm dripping from your words. Behind them lay mostly the truth and maybe a hint of your typically sarcasm but without his help, who knows what would’ve happened.

“All in a days work.” Jay’s face didn’t change, his expression not moving a single bit. For a reason beyond your medical and surgical knowledge, you blushed, cheeks randomly feeling flushed.

Maybe now with childhood rivalry forgotten and shoved aside, things between the two of you could get better.

[heeseungiez]

RESOLUTION 3) become popular at school

pairings! park jay x fem!reader, sim jake x reader, mentions of heeseung x reader

synopsis! park jay always thought of you as the annoying little miss perfect who could do no wrong in the eyes of his, yours and heeseung’s parents. he wasn’t fond of you in the slightest for that very reason. but when you dropped the act after your perfect image had shattered in front of everyone, he can’t help but feel drawn to you. when he discovers another one of your secrets, he thinks he might truly have to ruin you for the whole world to know how far from perfect you truly are.

content warnings! smut (mdni! 18+), swearing, all of them are idiots, heeseung is desperate and so is jay low-key

word count! ~12k

taglist! OPEN! send an ask to be added!

a/n! i have no idea how the last part's gonna turn out i'll be very honest

masterlist | next

Good morning, Decelis!

Have you ever looked at someone and thought: “Wow, what a sad little life they lead.” Well, that’s how I feel like looking at Park Jay these days. What’s he up to anyway?

XO, Miss Decelis

Jay hated it here.

The one place where he was to be safe from you, his home, had been invaded not just by your family, but you as well. 

Okay, maybe, obviously, since his parents wanted to have a huge barbecue with the other families, but still, seeing you at his backyard made him want to dig himself a hole in the ground and stay there forever. Especially when he saw the adoring looks on his parents faces whenever they regarded you.

“We are so happy you’re healthy, Y/N,” his father said. 

His mum couldn’t keep her hands off of you, placing them on your shoulders, then cheeks to examine you. “When we heard what happened, we tried to help as much as we could.”

“And you did,” you replied with a bright smile, softly pushing his mum’s hands away from you without voicing out your discomfort at the excessive skinship. “My parents told me I was staying at your summer house in the summer?” And that you got me into the rehabilitation centre I went to.”

Well, Jay did not know that. She lived at his family’s summer house? In one of the guest rooms, he supposed. But did she snoop? Jay didn’t have that much stuff in there, but some personal things could be found here and there. He shifted in his place uncomfortably.

“Yes. That is true. But we still felt like we could do more,” Jay’s father sighed, glancing at his son. “We didn’t imagine Jay would ever let anything like this happen to you.”

And look, he probably wouldn’t. He might’ve disliked you, but what happened was fucked up and had he been there to witness it, he’d help you. Of course, he’d help you, he’s not a monster. But he wasn’t there because the last thing he wanted to do was to be stuck to your side at a party. You had your own friends.

Yet it still ate at him from the inside. 

The thing was, although Heeseung was the oldest of the four of you, getting him to actually care about something was as difficult as trying to turn a stone into a living being. So it was up to Jay to look after everyone as the second oldest. But with you, he didn’t want to do it because you annoyed him.

How? Well, this. The way his parents were fussing over you because Jay’s mum always wanted to have a daughter and apparently you were the next best thing. Plus, you were a star student and just perfection incarnate to the point literally nobody even considered the fact that you were bullied. If Jay had known, he would’ve put a stop to it before it could get any worse.

Which he also hated. That he didn’t know about it. It pissed him off that you kept it a secret and didn’t tell anyone just to remain a little miss perfect in the eyes of everyone rather than admitting that there was something wrong and you needed help. 

You glanced at him. Pursing your lips, you shook your head. “I’m sure he wouldn't if he knew,” you replied because you knew Jay well enough. 

He disliked you, but he never let you get hurt physically. Even mentally, it was mostly Jay giving you the cold shoulder rather than being an actual dick the way Heeseung had been. So while Heeseung would watch you fall just so you understood he wanted to have nothing to do with you, Jay would try to catch you.

And really, it wasn’t just his caring nature at this point. You were just so… irritating in a way Jay couldn’t describe because despite Jay’s insistence to ignore you, you’d always show up with something to get his attention over the years.

When you were thirteen, you gifted Jay a pick because you heard he liked playing the guitar.

When you were fifteen, you spent your entire savings just to gift Jay a guitar he couldn’t shut up about a few months before. That was how desperate you were for his acceptance. But it also came from a genuine, generous place in your heart where you liked to see the stunned expression on Jay’s face and the inability to hold in the smile forming on his lips.

And then at sixteen, you had heard Jay complain about losing his favourite pick somewhere in school, only for you to turn up some hours later with the pick in hand, saying that you found it on the desk of some girl in your class because she was boasting about having stolen it from the Park Jay.

“You’re too sweet, Y/N,” Jay’s mum said, grinning. “Is there anything you need now?”

“I’m good, Mrs Park, but thank you.” You shook your head, before bowing out of the conversation to join Jeonghyeon’s side again. Jay watched you bump his shoulder with a smile.

“Look after her, yeah? Clearly, she’s been through a lot.” Jay’s father approached him, patting his shoulder. 

Jay nodded. “I know, dad,” he said. “I’m trying. But we don’t share all classes.” It surprised him how bitter he sounded about it. That he couldn’t keep his eyes on you at all times. But there were many classes you had with Heeseung. 

And Jake.

The boy who had been dreamily staring at you this whole time while you mingled with the others. But they knew why. Every single time Jake would get lost at school, Jay, Heeseung and Sunghoon knew exactly where they would most likely find him (or preferably not).

“Maybe you could keep her company at the annual Sim family event for Jake. It’s coming, and I know neither of you boys usually bring dates. So take Y/N. Look after her,” Jay’s father suggested with a pointed look. It wasn’t a command, but Jay wished it had been because then he could ask you and pretend he didn’t want to.

“Yeah, dad, I will.”

But when Jay glanced at you again, laughing at something Jeonghyeon had said, he had to take a deep breath and tell himself that your face did not look angelic in the sunlight nor that your laugh was the loveliest song he had ever heard. Perhaps he could even will his guitar into repeating that exact same sound — no.

And maybe Miss Decelis would finally have something normal to say about him then, instead of constantly talking shit about his business. Seriously, calling his life sad? Who the fuck was this person to attack him like this? Had he done something to them?

It’s like now that they couldn’t attack you, they switched up to Jay and his lack of anything. But he blamed you for that. Most of his actions were driven by spite, and he could hardly be spiteful if you barely looked at him, could he? And it wasn’t his fault that he could not stop thinking of the day of Changbin’s party when he could quite literally see your boobs because your strap was falling off. Or the fact that he knew Heeseung did something shortly before even without Miss Decelis’ report.

He didn’t even realise you were standing in front of him until you spoke up. “Look, I know you don’t like me and whatever, but you don’t need to keep glaring at me,” you said, unimpressed. 

“I’m not glaring at you,” Jay responded with the same energy, looking you in the eye. “But are you going to Jake’s birthday party with someone?” he asked sarcastically, since the birthday party was more of a boast event for Jake’s parents to show off their amazing son.

“Uh, with Jeonghyeon and Hanbin?” you replied with a raised brow, confused as to why Jay would ask you this. And although Jay knew it was impossible for you to go with Jake as he was very much going to be a decorative doll tagging along with his parents the whole day, he was relieved you didn’t say he asked you to go with him. “I guess Hanbin said he’s going with some other friends, Sunoo and Jungwon? So maybe just Jeonghyeon… which also means Hee—”

“Go with me.” Jay didn’t let you finish the sentence. It made sense you would go with Jeonghyeon and Heeseung together since they were family, but Jay didn’t like to hear that either way. Whatever Heeseung’s deal with you was, Jay thought it would be better to keep you away from him. As far away as possible.

“Why?” Of course, you’d ask that.

“Because I said so.” Jay shrugged. “Is that so hard to understand?” He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, duh?”

“Just go with me, Y/N,” Jay sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had no proper explanation for why he wanted you to go. He could say his father ordered him to do so, but you would most certainly say no in that case. And he didn’t know what force in the world actually made him want you to say yes.

“And what will I get out of it?” you asked, crossing your arms. “I imagine you might finally get Miss Decelis to say something nice about you again, but what is in it for me?”

“A thank you?” Jay offered seriously. “For everything. Not just going with me, but also all that you’ve done for me in the past while trying to befriend me. Because I do remember every single thing. Especially last year, when you brought back my pick. Honestly, I wanted to thank you then, but I was just… too stunned to speak, you could say. I still have the pick you gave me, too, and the guitar.”

“Yeah, I’d bet  you wouldn’t throw that guitar away. It cost almost as much as a whole Porsche,” you scoffed.

But Jay ignored you, pulling out the pick you gave him when you were kids from his wallet instead. “And what about this? Why do you think I wouldn’t throw this away?” he asked, shaking his head. “Look, I’m sorry for being a dick, but you were so—”

“Perfect?” you supplied for him. “See, that’s the funny thing. I used to think that being perfect would make people like me, but instead, what I got was you and Heeseung being assholes, and being thrown into a pool. I don’t even know why I tried so hard.”

“It’s our nature to want to be liked,” Jay said wisely, shrugging. “I am sorry, though. I was petty, but not any less grateful about these things.” He placed the pick into your palm, wrapping your fingers around it.

“No, it’s yours, keep it.” You shook your head, returning it to Jay. “I don’t play the guitar, so it’s useless for me.”

“Right.”

“But sure, I’ll go with you if it makes you feel better,” you said, pursing your lips. “We can start over and all that. With me not being fake, and you being less petty over it.” A smile graced your lips, and Jay hated how pretty it made you look.

“Hey, Y/N, Jay! Come eat with us!” Jake called after the both of you, a raised brow aimed at you both in a silent question — what could you two possibly be talking about?

Jake was speechless. “You’re going to my birthday party with Jay?” he asked in front of your friends as you all sat at the Academy’s courtyard, trying to process the words that had left your mouth moments ago.

“He asked me,” you replied with a shrug. “Look, he started apologising for being a dick and I would’ve felt bad if I said no after that. He still had that pick I gave him as a kid.” The frown on your lips appeared against your volition. But when you gave it to him, you liked him. Out of the three boys, you liked Park Jay the most when you were kids. When you heard he liked playing the guitar from Jeonghyeon, giving him that dark green pick with your initials carved into it in the smallest letters was your best way of conveying that. And he still had that damned pick.

“Oh yeah, he carries it in his wallet,” Jake said knowingly as if he wasn’t trying to be angry that you agreed to go to an event celebrating him with a different guy.

In your defence, whatever you had with Jake wasn’t a defined relationship. You never asked what the two of you were, and you preferred it that way for the time being, because a relationship was the last thing you wanted. You still struggled with taking care of yourself, let alone having to share that with another person, even if that person would be Jake.

“What an interesting turn of events,” Ning hummed, a smirk permanently stuck to her face.

“I said it. Weird obsession with Y/N. Not surprising,” Jeonghyeon spoke, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, just because a guy doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to fuck you,” Ning added, which led to a glare from Jeonghyeon, and she giggled innocently. “Look, hate-sex is a thing. Fight me.”

“Whatever.” You shook your head. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Even if I enter the building with Jay, it won’t change anything about the rest of the event. Jake’s parents plan far too meticulously for anything out of line to happen.”

“I mean, that is true. But I still don’t like it.” Jake pouted, and you cupped his cheeks, squishing them. His eyes softened as he gazed at you, turning to your friends. “Have you guys got your invitations already?”

“Yessir!” Ning saluted. 

“Cool.” Jake bit his bottom lip, turning to face you. “Me and the guys are planning an after party, so you should all come. My parents are not gonna suffocate me with unconditional praise forever, so I plan to sneak out, and y’all can just… leave on your own.”

“From your house?” Jeonghyeon asked with a raised brow, reminding everyone that the birthday event hosted by the Sims happened at the Sim residence. (Unexpectedly so.)

“Well, it’s a plan. I never said it was a logical one.” Jake deadpanned, and you had to remind yourself that Jeonghyeon and Jake have known each other as long as you have. The separation of your friend groups over the years really messed with your brain, so all of you speaking together now felt… a bit strange. But in a good way.

“Yoi, Jake, here you are.” Sunghoon approached your group. At first, he had tunnel vision on the blond boy only, but then he noticed you right next to him, and he smiled. “Oh, hey, Y/N.”

“We’re here too, you know,” said Jeonghyeon, rolling his eyes. But Sunghoon completely ignored him, and even Ning who intently glared at him for not greeting her either. Sunghoon didn’t even blink, keeping his attention on you and Jake only.

“What’s up, Hoon?” Jake asked, tilting his head to the side. It made him look so much like a golden retriever, you couldn’t help the grin that decorated your lips nor the warmth that spread through your chest.

“I need your help with my English assignment,” Sunghoon replied, not hiding the fact that he needed help. It was kind of a known fact that his English was not the best, which was why he didn’t share English class with you, Jake and Heeseung. Jay just didn’t want to bother with the higher level.

“Why don’t you ask Heeseung?” Jake raised a brow, not wanting to leave you.

“He’s not Australian.” Sunghoon blankly stared at Jake.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll help you,” Jake sighed, getting up from his seat. “Don’t forget what I told you guys, okay?” He gave Jeonghyeon, Ning and you one last look, adding a kiss to your temple before joining Sunghoon’s side.

As they left and you watched them, you wondered how come Jake was so unaffected by the tweet from Miss Decelis that came out not long after your first time together. Surely, it had to be weird between the guys if they were aware, right? But then again, Jake didn’t seem uncomfortable talking about or to Heeseung either.

You wanted to ask about it, but you weren’t sure you wanted to know the answer to that question.

Good morning, Decelis!

The annual Jake Sim party is almost upon us! Who’s excited? I already RSVP’d for the event, but did you?

XO, Miss Decelis

Being at Jay’s house on your own without anyone else accompanying you was weird. Usually, you wouldn’t step foot in here unless your parents were on your tail. But today, you were there, because your mum sent you here. Apparently, she had something to pick up from Mrs Park but couldn’t make the trip herself, so you were the one who was sent on a mission to the house.

But you clearly didn’t time your visit correctly because the person who opened the door for you was none other than Jay.

He smirked at the sight of you, his eyes roaming from head to toe before fixating on your own. Today, you didn’t bother wearing contacts, so your casual look with glasses on was back for a time being. It was the weekend, after all, and you had nobody to impress.

“Missed me?” Jay said a bit too confidently for your liking, and you scoffed, pushing him aside to enter his house without his permission.

“Is your mum here? She has something to give to my mum, apparently.” You looked around the hallway, but it was empty.

“Funny you asked,” Jay chuckled, “‘cause Mum gave it to me to give to you. Wait here, I’ll go get it. It’s in my room.”

You let out a sigh, looking around you again, not liking how eerie the hallway felt when it was so empty. Usually, whenever you were here, it was with other people, and that meant this house was bustling and full of chatter. Today, it seemed like the only person inside this house was Jay. Even the faint music playing from his room (probably) creeped you out.

“Or you can go with me,” he said, noticing the discomfort in your expression. “C’mon, it’s just some files for your mum, so it’s on my desk right now.”

Without thinking much about it, Jay took your hand in his and lightly tugged at it to get you to move. “You kinda get used to the emptiness when you live here long enough,” he added. “It’s nowhere near living in a penthouse inside a constantly packed hotel.”

“Yeah, it’s really not,” you said mindlessly, letting Jay pull you up the stairs to his bedroom. Your eyes fixated on the photos of Jay as a kid, doing all kinds of things. Cooking with his mum, playing the guitar while his dad played the piano. It was slightly different to the hall of fame dedicated to Jake at the Sim residence. And what you also noticed was the few photos that included you when you were younger, with Heeseung, Jay and Jake. You were trying to smile and be happy alongside Jake, but Heeseung and Jay had the fakest smiles possible plastered to their faces.

Your feet stopped moving then, firmly planted to the ground as you stared at the pictures for longer than was necessary. Jay had to stop with you. When he realised what you were looking at, he chewed on the inside of his cheek. Another thing to apologise for.

“If I’d known how much harder—”

“Don’t, Jay.” You shook your head, stopping him with your hand in front of his face. You softly yanked the hand that was locked with his out of his grasp and looked him in the eyes. Your stony expression spoke for itself. “I don’t like thinking about it.”

Jay pursed his lips and momentarily averted his gaze to the ground. He didn’t want you to see how guilty he felt about everything. Because he saw most of what had happened to you during the time when he was completely ignorant. When the principal found all the proof he needed to expel the people who caused you harm, your parents were brought in to see it for themselves. And when they told the other parents, Jay also found out. He didn’t tell either Heeseung, Jake or Sunghoon about it, but he knew.

The girls who bullied you kept videos of most of the things they’d done. Like spilling banana milk all over you. And the worst part was that Jay remembered the day when it happened. He knew you’d come to school in your uniform, but then spent the rest of the day in your P.E. clothes, and he never questioned why. Maybe he should’ve.

“Still—”

“There’s nothing more to say.” This time, you glared at him. The last thing you wanted was to be reminded of your past. Jay was definitely the last person you wanted to recall it with. He didn’t care then, and now it was too late to care. Besides, if you were to delve into it and he was actually trying to help you now, you’d just be more upset with him for the things he hadn’t done in the past. 

Closing his eyes, Jay nodded. “Right. Of course.”

“Let’s just get what I came here for so I can get out of your way as soon as possible,” you said with a sigh, pushing past Jay because you actually knew exactly where his room was. You never saw inside it, but you knew where it was from when you were a kid who just met him. It was the place you’d always wanted to step into, but were never allowed.

And a part of you, the old you, wanted to wait in front of the door and get Jay’s permission to enter first because that was the polite thing to do. It would also mean Jay’s approval. But there was no reason to care about it anymore. So you just opened the door to the room that was basically an equivalent of the Forbidden Forest for you.

The first thing you noticed was how big his room was. The next was the wall lined with expensive guitars as if the room was an instrument store. And third, the most important, was the guitar you had given him for his birthday when you were younger. It wasn’t on the wall with the other guitars. Instead, it hung right above his bed alongside a photo of all of you: the Parks, the Sims, the Lees, your family. You and the others had to position yourself on the ground so that your parents could all stand behind you, and it was the one photo where none of you looked miserable.

“Welcome to my room, I guess,” Jay said once he caught up to you, shoving his hands into his pockets. He didn’t want to show how nervous he was for you to see it. Maybe if he hadn’t remembered that your guitar was right above his bed, he wouldn’t have been, but… it was too late anyway.

You let out a huff, your eyes roaming the gaming setup Jay had. There was also a TV with PS4 and Xbox consoles and a Nintendo Switch laying around because why wouldn’t he have all of it?

“So, where’s the files?” you asked, glancing at him.

“Right.” Jay nodded, crossing the room. It was the plain black folder on his desk, but you didn’t want to assume and intrude more than you already have. You had some manners left in you, after all. “Here.”

You accepted the file with a grateful smile. “Thanks,” you said. “If that’s all, I’m gonna go.”

“Wait, Y/N.” Jay didn’t even know what he wanted to say. He just didn’t want this moment to be so awkward between you two. So he mindlessly grabbed your wrist to keep you in place and make you look at him. To look into his eyes.

“Yeah?” You bit your lip, and Jay followed the action a little too eagerly.

“Does everything have to be so awkward between us?”

“I’d argue that’s pretty much your fault,” you said casually, but it was the truth.

“I’m sorry.” Jay ran a hand through his hair.

“Stop apologising. It just makes it less genuine the more you do it. The words lose their weight.” You shook your head. “You know that saying about actions speaking louder than words? Maybe try to do that.”

Jay scoffed. “I can’t exactly go around threatening people the way Heeseung does,” he said, and you raised a brow at him.

“Of course not. Because he’s doing that for himself. Not for me,” you replied. “Maybe just try being my friend for once, Jay. An actual friend. We’ll see where that goes.”

Jay pursed his lips, nodding. “Okay…” he said. “I think I can do that.”

“So? Can I leave now?”

“Actually, Y/N, would you like to watch a movie with me?”

“What?”

“I’m bored.” Jay shrugged. “And the house’s gonna be empty for a few more hours.”

“And you don’t think I have plans?”

“Not in that outfit, you don’t,” Jay countered, examining your whole figure once more. But he was right. You would’ve probably watched movies at home by yourself anyway.

“Ugh, sure. Whatever,” you agreed.

“Action?” Jay asked, letting go of your wrist. He approached the TV in his room, looking at you quizzically.

“Yeah, I wanted to re-watch—”

“Captain America?” Jay cut you off, and your eyes widened. He was right. You did want to re-watch the Captain America movies. They were your favourites among the Marvel movies, and you could never get quite enough of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Tilting your head to the side, you asked, “How did you know—”

“Just because I pretended to ignore you, it doesn’t mean I didn’t actually listen.” He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t blame you for thinking that he wouldn’t know anything about you. Though the fact was that he probably knew a little too much for his own good. (Another reason why it angered him that he didn’t know about your bullies.) “And yes, I will put on The Winter Soldier,” he added, controller in hand.

You were speechless. But you didn’t ask this time.

How well did Park Jay actually know you?

So you were now friends with Jay. You and Jake were in a non-committed relationship — a situationship, if you will — and Heeseung was doing whatever it was that he was doing in regards to you. Which meant one very simple thing: people were now looking at you. Really looking at you. 

Which was convenient because your third resolution for the year was to become popular at school. This counted, right? At least among other things, anyway. 

People actually turned whenever you passed by, and while the attention wasn’t what you imagined, you still held your head high and walked forward as if there was nobody but you. One thing had been people’s initial shock over you being back, but now… they were judging again, and perhaps even more harshly than before.

Ugh. You just wanted to get to English class.

“If you let them know that you know they are watching, it’ll just make it worse,” Heeseung whispered in your ear. It startled you, jumping away from the boy who suddenly appeared by your side. 

“What the hell, Heeseung!” you scolded him, slapping his chest with your hand. A lopsided grin decorated his lips, and he knew he looked good at that moment. 

You wondered how many girls were at the receiving end of it before you.

“I’m just offering useful advice.” He shrugged, stepping closer to you. “I also wanted to talk to you, but you seem to avoid me like the plague.”

Your brow rose. “You’re the one still trying to pretend you don’t like me,” you said matter-of-factly, and he made a non-committal sound in response.  “Maybe that’s where you went wrong.”

“Maybe.” Heeseung nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers. 

“What do you want?”

Humming, Heeseung smirked at you again. “Just wondering if you and Jake are exclusive and all that.”

“Why don’t you ask him?” You deadpanned. 

“He talks about you as if you were his girlfriend, I don’t think I have to know his side.” Heeseung clicked his tongue and shook his head. “So I wanna know what you think. Since you two clearly haven’t had that talk yet.”

Stopping in your tracks, you turned to Heeseung and crossed your arms. “We did,” you said. “Literally right after Miss Decelis exposed that mistake I made inside Sunghoon’s car, by the way. If I’d known—”

“You’d still want it,” Heeseung said nonchalantly, laughing. Which sounded a lot like it was aimed at you. To mock you. “Wish we weren’t interrupted…” he mumbled, eyeing you.

“Out of everyone, I think I really hate you the most,” you said, reminiscing of your childhood alongside Heeseung. 

Why were you even trying so hard back then? With Jay, you’d always gotten the smallest snippets of hope whenever he looked slightly surprised and pleased despite trying to pretend he was not. But Heeseung had always been careless. Nothing mattered to him.

Heeseung’s brows furrowed, and he frowned. “No, you don’t,” he said. 

“Yes, I do,” you countered, glaring up at him.

And you hated what followed afterward even more, with Heeseung invading your personal space to claim your lips for himself. You hated the way your body reacted automatically, responding with just as much heat, your kisses matching his own.

You hated the way your hands roamed his broad shoulders until you had your fingers tangled in his hair, bringing him even closer to you. 

You hated the way your whole body sought him out, heart beating in your ears. The way you arched in an attempt to be pressed flat against his body, feeling the growing bulge between his legs on your stomach. Heeseung groaned into your mouth, and you swallowed the delicious sound, rubbing your thighs together. 

And then the spell was broken when the bell rang. 

People had been watching, and you realised that you were royally fucked.

Good morning, Decelis!

I’d like to say that Lee Heeseung might finally be marking his territory but… I fear a little birdie has told me that our lovely Y/N is going to the annual Sim Jake praising event with Park Jay.

It seems that our childhood friends have finally become… friends?

XO, Miss Decelis

Heeseung wanted to be pleased about what happened between you and him. He especially loved the way you squirmed under his gaze after the two of you made your way inside the English classroom, and Jake was right there. 

But they were featured on Miss Decelis the next morning, and he realised that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea with all the replies underneath the post.

He knew he shouldn’t care. He never cared before anyway. But this was you. And he couldn’t get past the nasty comments that called you an attention whore because you were taking advantage of everyone feeling sorry for you.

He hoped you didn’t read any of it. But he also knew you were basically a walking and talking Miss Decelis encyclopaedia.

Not the greatest way to start off the day of Jake’s birthday event. Especially knowing that your date was going to be Jay.

Jay.

They really were the most pathetic guys on the block. All it took was not seeing you or hearing from you the whole summer, and suddenly they both missed you and neither actually disliked you.

Jake loved any kind of attention, and you gave him plenty. It was enough for all three of them to suddenly become a whole mess of losers for you.

Maybe if Heeseung had Sunghoon’s resolve and simply didn’t talk to you, he’d be doing far better. But something told him that Sunghoon’s case was just a matter of time.

All these thoughts were going through the boy’s head as he stared at himself in the mirror, overthinking his outfit. It was simple, a suit tailored just for him without a tie. But perhaps it was too simple.

Jay and Jake were absolutely going to wear something in an attempt to impress you, and Heeseung was only lucky that Sunghoon couldn’t afford doing so. Unless his suit was going to come from your father’s pocket as another donation to the up-and-coming figure skating champion. 

Not even his Prada cologne felt like enough when he knew how excessive Jay’s collection was, and how he always had a specific scent for each event, and how good his colognes actually were. 

Why was he even overthinking this stupid event? It never mattered to him that you were in attendance. Because you would always try to approach him to at least say hi and start any kind of conversation. Which he would cut off very early on. Your dejected pout gave Heeseung a twisted sense of accomplishment whenever he watched you leave. But the reason behind why changed over the years.

At first, he just liked watching you suffer because he, as a very young idiotic kid, thought you were making him suffer. But then, when he was old enough, he kept thinking — and refusing to acknowledge that those were his thoughts in the first place — if you would have that exact same pout during sex when he’d forbid you from cumming. 

Heeseung groaned when he felt his cock harden, and he hated that the mere thought of you did that to him. Especially when you were fucking Jake… of all of them, you chose Jake. 

Running a hand through his hair, Heeseung bit his lower lip. What was he supposed to do about you? Because somehow, you made him feel clueless, and he’d never felt that before. 

“I’m not gonna ask.” 

Heeseung startled when his cousin entered his bedroom without knocking. 

Jeonghyeon looked Heeseung in the eyes through the mirror instead of laying his gaze literally anywhere else, intently holding the eye contact.

“The fuck you want?” Heeseung said indignantly, walking away from the mirror, hiding his boner out of his cousin’s sight. 

“We’re heading out,” Jeonghyeon replied nonchalantly. “But I also wanted to talk to you for a bit,” he added, keeping Heeseung stuck in place, although he couldn’t exactly go quite yet, either. 

“What now?” Heeseung rolled his eyes. 

“Stay away from Y/N,” Jeonghyeon spoke plainly, straight to the point. He did not want you to get hurt, and knowing Heeseung, exactly that was going to happen. 

Heeseung scoffed, licking his lips. “Funny. But no, thanks. You’re not my mother.”

“No, but I’m your cousin. And I’m Y/N’a best friend. The last thing she needs is your pathetic little ass to hurt her more than you already did in the past… So stay the fuck away.”

“I’m guessing neither Jay or Jake got this cute speech of yours?” Heeseung’s brow rose. 

“They don’t need it. Jake was always good to Y/N, and I talked to Jay. He, unlike you, is actually sorry and wants to make shit up to her… and, oh, did I mention he’s not trying to get in her pants?”

“Boo-hoo, if you really think that, then you know jackshit about Jay.”

“All I need to know is that he’s better than you,” said Jeonghyeon. 

Heeseung’s jaw clenched, and he clicked his tongue. “Was that necessary?”

“Very.” Jeonghyeon nodded. “At least Jake and Jay know what it means to care. Maybe once you acquire that skill, we can have this talk again. But until then, just stay away.”

“Jeonghyeon!” Your voice carried through the corridor as you called after Heeseung’s cousin. “Where are you guys, we’re about to leave without both of you dumbasses.” You approached Jeonghyeon, peering through the door into Heeseung’s room.

A very plain room at that. Just like his outfit. Its main attractions were the bed, the gaming setup and his showcased collection of mechanical keyboards — which he had put together himself (!) with his own hands. But that still left a large empty space in the middle of the room. Jake and Sunghoon had joked about being able to play Twister in it way too many times by now. 

You, on the other hand, were the exact opposite of plain. Your dress was gold, glittery and tight, hugging your curves and stopping at your mid-thighs. Last year, he would’ve made a remark about you looking like a golden disco ball, but he dared not say anything now. Last year, you wouldn’t even fight him on it and simply glare; but this year, you looked like you would have no issue coming up to him and slapping him for being rude. 

Not to mention this year, Heeseung wasn’t afraid to admit that he would love to tear that dress off you. He craved feeling your heated skin under his touch again, and you being within reach so often did not make it any easier for him. 

“Heeseung has a bit of a problem right now, so I think he’ll take a while,” said Jeonghyeon, smirking when he saw the mortified expression on Heeseung’s face. “You and Jay can probably go ahead anyway. Is he taking you in his car?”

“Yeah.” You smiled softly. Because, yeah — that’s fucking right — you and Jay were now friends. Heeseung had to hold in the annoyed groan.

But at least this reminder served like a nice, ice cold bucket of water being poured over him, dealing with the little problem in his crotch area. 

He was ready to go. 

“I’ll see you guys at Jake’s.” You grinned with a small adorable wave aimed at — strangely enough — both him and Jeonhyeon. 

Except, unlike Heeseung, Jeonghyeon received a kiss on the cheek which you had to lift yourself up on your tiptoes for and he had to slightly bend down in the knees. 

Then you were gone with a wink. 

“Stop glaring at me, dickhead,” Jeonghyeon said. “She tried to be your friend. It’s not my fault you’re stupid.”

This time, Heeseung let out the indignant and frustrated groan that had been building. He ran a hand over his face. 

“Let’s just go.”

Sim Jake did not hate his birthday per se, but it was fair to say he wasn’t fond of it. Well, he would be if he was allowed to simply spend the day with his friends, but that wasn’t possible with his parents.

They didn’t care that all Jake really wanted to do was to be stuck by your side, maybe steal a kiss or two, and call that his best birthday ever. His parents needed to have a whole house party to show everyone — over and over again — the photos and diplomas and medals that Jake had acquired through his 18 years of living. Maybe if it hadn’t come to him so naturally, his parents wouldn’t be so adamant at showing him and his achievements off. But here he was. 

Watching his parents and staff run around the house as the last finishing touches were being done for the first guests to arrive. 

Jake was stuffed in a dark blue tailored suit his parents forced him into getting done, the material tight and soft on his skin. He hated how stuffed it made him feel, especially with everything going on around him. 

He was just excited to see you again. As if he hadn’t texted you minutes ago or saw you yesterday. It was something he realised recently — that he sought you out wherever he went. Jake would always sport the largest grin in your presence, loving to make you smile. Your laugh was a virus he kept catching, and he lived for those moments when he would tease you and you’d scrunch your nose and lightly hit his chest or shoulder. 

To him, it wasn’t just about those intimate moments he shared with you, but also your friendship and how much he’d grown to like you over the past few months. It was different when he barely knew you and the two of you acknowledged each other from time to time. This was about your shared love for superhero movies and the way you laughed softly and cooed whenever you saw Jake’s enormous Lego collection, saying it made you like him even more. 

He wanted to make you love him, but it seemed that the exact opposite happened instead.

So it wasn’t wrong of him to feel a bit upset, if not jealous, about you coming to his birthday event with Jay, right? (He tried to pretend nothing ever happened between you and Heeseung these days, too.)

Running a hand through his hair, Jake made his way to the foyer where he would be tasked with greeting all the guests. It was about time for the event to start, and the first ring of the bell signalled just that.

Jake sighed, opening the door.

“Hi! Happy birthday!” you greeted the boy enthusiastically, wrapping your arms around his neck. And then you pulled away and left a big wet kiss on his cheek, which left a faint pink print of your lips from your lip gloss. “This is the first time I’m here this early,” you remarked with a smile, gazing at Jake. 

“Hey, man.” Jay’s hug was less warm and he patted Jake’s shoulder. A bright contrast to your crushing embrace.

“Hi.” Jake smiled at both of you, nodding. “You’re the first one’s here, so feel free to go wild at the buffet while everything’s stacked.”

“Will do!” you said, saluting. “Will probably need it to survive the day anyway. Just remind me I have a big gift for you, Jake.”

Jay deadpanned, glancing at you. “What? Are you letting him fuck your ass or something?”

“Pervert?” you said, hitting Jay’s chest. But there was a light-hearted smile on your lips. “You’re just jealous.”

“Am I? I didn’t notice,” Jay replied. But it was a big fat lie. Jake saw Jay’s ears redden with the lie, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that knowledge. Should he be surprised? Probably not. 

Of course, he wanted you. He’d be stupid not to. Fucking MILFs was never going to last anyway. Not when you were right here, and you were perfect. Then there was Heeseung. And Jake saw the photos from yesterday.

Heeseung and Jake had shared too many girls to count by now, but with you, he wanted to be selfish. He would’ve preferred to have you all to himself, but he was scared of making the next step. What if you rejected him because you didn’t want a real relationship? Was he even ready for a relationship?

He never was in one to begin with. Neither of them have. Never had they before become serious with a girl. It had always been casual fucks, usually not more than once with the same girl except for some special cases; and now there was you. For Jake, at least, there was you.

How was he supposed to act around a girl who made him inexplicably happy?

“Find me if you’re bored, Jakey. I’ll be around with Jay, I guess.” You glanced at the slightly taller boy with feigned annoyance, and Jay rolled his eyes.

“You could’ve just said no.”

“But that’s no fun.” You grinned. 

Fuck, Jake was down bad for you.

You were true to your word and stuck around Jay even when your friends arrived. It was almost as if you could sense his discomfort when he wasn’t with his group of friends. You were always quick to take hold of a conversation whenever someone approached you, usually to speak to you about what had happened. That was when Jay would step in and keep you from reliving your past memories because unlike with him, you couldn’t exactly tell these strangers to shut up.

The least he could do was be short with those people for you. Because despite everything, you were still trying to keep the perfect image around your parents’ associates. At school, nothing mattered anymore, but at events like these? They all had to pretend to be the pliant little dolls raised by their successful parents.

But it was hard to even be here. For Jay, at least, since all he could think about when he saw you in your dress was what it would look like on the ground — which he was really disgusted with himself for, by the way. He just managed to establish a solid friendship with you, and all he could think of was whether the moans you made whenever you tasted something really good would be the same when he tasted your pussy.

God, he needed to get it together.

You were hooking up with Jake. And the three — no, four — of them promised each other they would not try to sleep with the same girl nearly half a year ago. It was part of their history that neither was very proud of, and Miss Decelis had a feast of the four of them once it was found out. But realistically, it wasn’t their fault that the girl couldn’t keep up with all of them.

Maybe you could.

You snapped your fingers in Jay’s face with your eyes narrowed at the boy in disapproval. “Could you not undress me with your eyes in public? It’s inappropriate as hell, and if you haven’t forgotten, it’s Jake’s birthday.”

“Why don’t you go to him and suck him off if you care so much?” Jay retorted, internally cringing at himself. Why would he even suggest that? You might actually do it, and he was not—

“You’re right, I should,” you hummed. Licking your lips, your eyes easily found Jake in the crowd with his parents, speaking to an elderly pair that kept touching Jake’s hair and cheeks and shoulders with large smiles while he looked mildly uncomfortable. “He looks like he needs saving. And a break.”

“Y/N, I wasn’t serious.” Jay ran a hand through his hair, and you tilted your head to the side.

“Does it matter? Jokes aside, today is Jake’s birthday, and he deserves to enjoy at least a tiny bit of this bullshit event before we all get lost,” you said, nodding to yourself as confirmation of your own logic. And Jay couldn’t claim you were wrong because he knew better than anyone how much Jake hated this annual event.

“You’re right, but, Y/N—”

“Can you look after my phone?” You handed the device that had been practically stuck in your hand since you arrived over to Jay. “I’ll find you later. Pretty sure I could find you anywhere just by the smell. It’s actually really good,” you said with a smile, and Jay wanted to be proud of picking the right cologne, but once he accepted your phone, you were already halfway through the room to approach Jake.

Jake was one hell of a lucky bastard.

Jay sighed, ready to put your phone away in his pocket when it lit up with a new notification. Which would be nothing special had he not seen the user above the Twitter notification. A new message from a random user meant for the eyes of everyone once it got relayed.

It was a DM for Miss Decelis.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking.”

“Was that my birthday gift?” Jake stared at you through dazed eyes, his voice breathless. He sat at the edge of his bed while you got up from your spot on the floor to nestle on his lap, his cock still hard and covered in saliva.

“That would be a terrible birthday gift,” you replied, moaning when you felt Jake’s hardness against your clothed cunt. Jake adjusted his hips, forcing another whimper out of you, and you cupped his cheeks to make him look in your eyes. “Stop moving, Jake, or we’ll never leave this bedroom,” you breathed out, and he just lazily grinned at you in response.

“Maybe I don’t want to leave,” he replied, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer. “Oh fuck, I want to feel you now,” he groaned, restraining himself from doing anything else for you.

“It’s not— oh— the time yet,” you whispered, barely thinking coherent thoughts with Jake’s dick between your legs, though not the way the two of you wanted it to be. “Later, you can get anything you want, Jakey.”

“Anything?” he repeated, biting his lip. One of his hands slipped underneath your dress, his digits sneaking their way inside your panties.  

“Mhmm,” you hummed, pleasure striking your whole body as Jake’s fingers began circling your clit. Your lips attached to Jake’s while he worked his magic on you, but he pulled away, biting at your lower lip.

“I want words, baby. A weak hum is not a yes,” he said, his movements becoming harsher and faster.

“Fuck, Jake, yes,” you cried out, your orgasm coming quickly. It was weak, but there wasn’t much to expect from just his fingers atop your clit. But you didn’t want to give yourself to him just yet. It wasn’t time, as you said. Not this early in the evening. He still had guests to please and parents to appease.

“I want to take this dress off you so bad,” Jake mumbled against your shoulder, his lips trailing to your clavicle. 

“Later.” You smiled when his mouth made it back to yours, hands tangled in his blonde locks at the back of his head. 

“I hate that word,” Jake whispered. “But thank you anyway,” he added, finally coming to peace with the fact that this moment had to end because you were right, and his parents were waiting for him.

You smiled, getting off his lap to stand. Adjusting your dress back to its place, you gazed at Jake and his still hard cock. “I’ll leave first. Give you time to recover,” you teased, pointing at his crotch. “Always remember you’re pretty, and that everyone is here to talk your ego all the way up to heaven.”

Bending down, you connected your lips with Jake’s one last time before heading toward the door. “Maybe later we can ditch your afterparty and just go to my house. While my parents are stuck here with yours.”

Jake chuckled, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth as he tended to do out of habit rather than to purposely flirt. “I don’t think the others will let us do that,” he said and shook his head. 

You groaned, your hand on the handle. “Well, we’ll see about that.” With a grin you disappeared out of Jake’s view, leaving him alone in his bedroom while you barely made a step into the corridor when someone grabbed you roughly by the wrist.

“We need to talk.” Jay’s tone was curt as he dragged you by the arm into the nearest guest bedroom.

He locked the door behind the both of you, clutching your phone in hand as he loomed over your figure with a scathing glare. It occurred to you that you completely forgot to turn your notifications off.

You were used to being alone at these events, always stuck to your phone, so you didn’t need to turn them off unless you were at school and around friends. But you gave your phone to Jay without a second thought. Without thinking about what he could see.

“It’s you,” he spat, holding the phone up to your face. 

He lit it up with a touch, opening the string of new notifications, each filled with texts and photos from anonymous sources, feeding you with hourly gossip about Decelis Academy students.

But before the mortification set in, you wondered why it was Jay who was mad at you. Because the whole reason behind you becoming Miss Decelis was because of how he and Heeseung treated you. It was your tiny payback, merely making sure nobody could suspect you for focusing on just a specific group of people. 

“Why?” Jay asked, stepping closer to you, invading your personal space. You tried to back away, but the moment your body hit the cool wooden door, there was nowhere to run.

And Jay was right in your face. 

“Yeah, why?” you questioned back, narrowing your eyes at him. “Why would I start an anonymous gossip blog in freshman year when I was sure everyone hated me?” 

Instead, you leaned in, pushing the phone out of your face. Perhaps you should’ve cared more about Jay dropping it on the ground, but if he was angry, then you were furious. Clenching your jaw, you met Jay’s gaze with fire blazing behind your eyes. 

“Why would I make something that tried to humble you and the rest of the guys when all I’ve ever gotten from you was your dismissal? And ‘cause of what? Because I wasn’t pretty enough for your standards? Because I was annoying? Because I liked you and you were disgusted by it?”

The last sentence wasn’t supposed to ever be spoken out loud, but when you were fifteen, it was one of your biggest insecurities. You liked Jay, and he wanted nothing to do with you, no matter how hard you tried to be his friend. And with the girls who set out to make your life a living hell, of course you thought that the reason behind Jay’s dislike for you was your looks and your awkwardness and the fact he was disgusted by you.

Miss Decelis wasn’t just a way to shoot some of the popular people down a peg. It was also created as your way of venting all of your biggest insecurities by speaking them aloud as Miss Decelis. In a strange way, it was your way of coping with your life. 

 Jay’s eyes widened, looking like you struck him in the face.

When he spoke next, it was like you never said anything. Like he didn’t just discover your secret second identity. All he could hear was your angry confession about liking him. 

“Why?” he asked again, but this time, it wasn’t about Miss Decelis. “Why did you like me?”

“That’s not the point,” you sighed and moved away. You wanted to escape, but Jay’s arms shot up, trapping you by the door on each side. “Jay—”

“Why, Y/N?” he asked again. In eighteen years, he had received many confessions of fancy. But it was always through cutesy letters in his locker or notes passed in class, unless they were brave enough to approach him and try to flirt with him. But those girls never had a proper reason to like him. 

“Because I’m not blind!” you exclaimed in exasperation, trying to push against Jay’s chest. He caught your arms by the wrists to keep you in place. Locking his eyes on you, he refused to let go until he had his answer. 

“You hated me,” you said defeatedly, hands going limp as you acknowledged that you were not strong enough to fight Jay. “But I saw the way you cared for other people. And sometimes me, whenever our parents were around. You would always look out for Heeseung and Jake when they messed around the pool when we were kids. And then you started helping the parents with barbecues and you always made sure that Heeseung and Jake got the biggest portions because they love samgyeopsal. You even cooked ramyun for them whenever our parents refused to make more because they already had five whole packs together.” You paused, remembering your childhood, when life was a little bit easier. “And I really liked listening to you playing guitar. It always fascinated me how good you were. And the adoration you had for the instrument. That’s why—”

“You gave me the pick,” Jay finished for you, and you nodded.

“That’s why I gave you the pick.”

“I always thought you were too perfect to be true,” Jay chuckled, shaking his head. “But you’re probably the stupidest person I’ve ever met.”

You narrowed your eyes at him in a silent question. 

“Because you liked me despite the way I treated you. No sane person would do that.” 

“When have I given you the impression that I’m sane?” Your brow rose challengingly, but instead of replying, Jay cupped your cheeks, bringing your mouth to his as if he didn’t know that you just gave his best friend a blowjob. 

Jay had gone insane.

He sought you out after finding out you were Miss Decelis to be angry with you. To confront you. You were the one shit-talking him on the blog for the past few months, and he was supposed to tear you a new one.

What he wasn’t supposed to do was kiss you when he literally found you leaving Jake’s room.

What he wasn’t supposed to do was let you wrap your legs around his hips while he secured your body with his hands on your ass, carrying you over to the bed inside the guest room he locked the two of you in.

He wasn’t supposed to do many things, yet here he was.

Going insane because of you.

“I never hated you,” Jay whispered against your skin as his lips moved from your mouth to your cheek, your jaw, your neck and lower, still. “What I hated was the stupid act you put up,” he said, not hesitating to unzip your dress. 

“It was a dumb act,” you agreed with a hum that turned into a moan when Jay’s mouth found your nipple, working quickly at getting your clothes off. Not that it was hard when all you wore was the golden dress and lace panties. You ran your fingers through Jay’s hair as he continued his assault on your skin, constantly moving lower while he slipped the dress off you alongside your drenched panties. 

You smelled heavenly. Jay didn’t even care that some of it was likely residue of your moment with Jake. You were with him now, and clearly wanted him as much as he did you. 

What could he do with you, but have you in ways he couldn’t dream of before?

Jay gripped your thighs, pulling them apart as he took a proper look at your beautiful pussy. He licked his lips, and when your head rose to glance at him, your eyes were drunk with lust. “You want me to taste you?” he asked. 

“Yes,” you replied instantaneously, nodding your head like a madwoman. “Please, Jay,” you whispered, your hands reaching for him. 

Jay smirked, positioning you at the edge of the bed so he could have the best access possible from his spot by the bed, his hooded eyes drunk on the sight of you. Naked and defenceless and so perfect, not like when you pretended, but actually perfect — with all your imperfections. 

You were a petty little creature. You created a whole blog just to shit-talk Jay, Heeseung and others because they were making your life more difficult than it needed to be. 

“I don’t know if you deserve it.” He watched you squirm as you looked up at him through your lashes, your lips twisting into an adorable furious pout. 

“After everything you put me through, this is the least I deserve,” you mumbled, glaring at him. But you reminded him of those cute angry kitty memes more than anything else, and he smirked. 

Jay hummed, leaning in to kiss your pretty lips, his tongue swiping across your clit. It elicited a beautiful sound out of your mouth. A moan worthy of his neverending devotion. But he couldn’t give you everything so easily. 

Your gasp reverberated through the room when Jay bit down on your clit, and your hands shot up into his hair to pull at it in an attempt to get him away. But he wasn’t letting go.

“Jay, holy shit.” You bit down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from screaming, letting the twisted pleasure warm your tummy. Brain going hazy, you could barely fight him. 

Not when he kept switching between licking your clit and lapping up all your wetness, and then biting again as if he was a vampire trying to feed. Your pussy sucked Jay’s tongue right in, and your orgasm was inevitable the longer it went on.

“You’re so fucking delicious,” Jay mumbled, staring up at you and your arched back. He had to work to keep your legs apart so you wouldn’t squish his head between your thighs. But at least his regular gym visits with Sunghoon were worth something. 

“Jay, I’m—” you whimpered, unable to finish your sentence when Jay thrusted his tongue as deep inside you as he could, your pussy vibrating with the pleased hum he let out. 

“So good for me,” he said. “You’ll feel amazing on my dick,” he claimed, sporting a huge tent in his trousers, humping air in a feeble attempt to bring some pleasure for himself. But your sounds alone could probably make him cum. 

“Jay!” you exclaimed one last time when ecstasy shot through you, and you tugged at Jay’s hair with enough strength to pull some out. He continued to eat you out as you rode your high off, drinking every bit of your release as if it was a drug, and he was an addict that could not get enough.

Before you even recovered, Jay was already up on his feet, speedily taking his clothes off. His jacket, shirt, tie, trousers. All pieces of clothing disappeared within a blink of your eyes, and then all you could see was Jay’s pulsating cock with precum leaking from the head. 

You brought out an incredibly needy part of Jay out of him, and it made you even hotter, more beautiful to him. Jay lifted you once more to adjust your positions on the bed to fit the both of you while he crawled over you, lust-filled eyes meeting yours.

“Tell me what you want, darling, and I’ll take care of you,” he said, and you closed your eyes to drink the moment in.

“I want you,” was all you said in response. 

Just him. 

That was all you needed. 

Park Jay. The boy you had liked when you were younger. 

So you connected your lips, tasting yourself on Jay’s tongue. He groaned when his cock made contact with your stomach, and your hands roamed his body until you reached his hard cock. Your thumb swiped across the head, drawing a moan out of Jay, and you smirked against his lips, guiding him toward your entrance.

“This is all I want,” you said again, teasing yourself with his cock, his eyes already half closed at the tiniest bolts of pleasure. 

So when Jay finally thrusted inside of you, rougher than he should’ve, you whimpered while his lips captured yours again, letting you adjust to his size. You were so warm and so wet, ready just for him. 

He closed his eyes, testing how comfortable you were as he moved his hips the slightest bit. You moaned, back arching to let him go even deeper, to find the spot that would drive you over the edge. And he complied, pulling out slightly before going in again, deeper. He groaned when your walls clenched around him. 

“So perfect,” he mumbled, letting you cling to him like your whole life depended on it.

“Jay,” you whined, “I need you to move faster.”

He smirked. But your word was his command, complying mindlessly. Jay began moving, picking up his pace gradually until all that could be heard inside the bedroom were the skin-on-skin contact, the squelching sound of your wetness, your moans, and Jay’s pants. 

He was drunk on you, not thinking of anything else but the need to pleasure you. To give you the best sex of your life. To ruin you.

“Jay, I’m s-so close,” you managed between laboured breaths, reaching for his lips with yours. It made him go even faster, chasing his own release. “Jay, Jay, Jay!” you screamed, your whole body convulsing with the orgasm that nearly blinded you.

It was the loveliest sound Jay had ever heard, and he almost forgot to pull out as he stared at your spent figure underneath him. But he did, his hand already working on finishing the job as he pulled away from you.

But you didn’t like that. You lifted yourself up on your elbows and then went to your knees, putting your hand over Jay’s. 

“Let me,” you said, licking your lips.

It was confusion that kept Jay from stopping you as you guided his hand away. And then your lips were making contact with the head of his cock. Only a little peck at first. Then your mouth wrapped around it, and before he could even process anything else, you had his dick as deep inside your throat as possible, using your hand to take care of whatever didn’t fit. 

Jay lasted what felt like five seconds before he cummed inside of your mouth as you stared up at him with an innocent glint in your eye. 

He blamed it on the shock of you giving him a blowjob out of your own volition. And in this case, whatever you and Jake were doing, Jay was grateful for all that Jake must’ve taught you.

You swallowed his load, eyes never leaving his, and the two of you collapsed on the bed together, spent but willing to go a second time. 

“So, you’re Miss Decelis.” Jay laughed at the fact. You were never actually perfect. You just hid the other side of you behind an anonymous profile. 

“Are you going to tell anyone?” you asked, turning to lie on your side and stare at Jay’s side-profile. It always fascinated you. He was gorgeous, and his jawline was unreal. 

“Are you going to keep calling me boring?” he turned to face you, brow raised. 

“Maybe if you hook up with another MILF, I’ll stop,” you joked, but Jay deadpanned, pressing his lips in a thin line. 

“You do realise we just had sex, right?” Jay said matter-of-factly, and you hummed. 

“Is it any different to your other casual hook-ups?” you asked nonchalantly, and Jay hated how constricted his chest felt at your words. 

You were probably right. It shouldn’t be any different. But it was. He wanted this again. He wanted you again. And it dawned on him that he had lost his chance years ago. You said it yourself: you used to like him. 

And when the afterparty with just you, your friends and the guys came around, Jay had to watch you be wrapped all around Jake again.

Because, yeah… it was his birthday.

tags: @strxwbloody @starsenha @mitmit01 @chaconadine @in-somnias-world @tmtxtf @missychief1404

[ginxyy]

Melodies of our heart

My soulmate Jihoon



There’s something utterly entrancing about the way the sun filters through the tall windows of Jihoon’s studio, casting delicate rays upon the myriad of instruments strewn about, each waiting patiently for their moment to sing. It was here, amongst the gentle chaos of keyboards and guitars, that my heart first acknowledged the fluttering, teasing touches of love. Jihoon is not just a composer; he is the very melody that has woven its way into the fabric of my soul.

This day felt particularly magical, as if the universe conspired to create an atmosphere thick with possibility. I had slipped into the studio, my sanctuary, a place where creativity danced in the air, and warmth radiated from the man I adored. Jihoon was hunched over his keyboard, the faintest pout on his lips as he concentrated, his fingers gliding over the keys with an elegance that took my breath away.

“Don’t you ever tire of being this brilliant?” I teased, leaning against the wall, my arms folded, just drinking him in. He looked up, and the corners of his mouth turned upward, illuminating the room in a way that sunlight alone could not.

“Not as long as you’re here to inspire me,” he replied, his voice a low, soothing melody that wrapped around me like a well-worn blanket. In that moment, I realized how deeply he had etched himself into the canvas of my life, and a blush crept across my cheeks.

With an exaggerated sigh, I moved closer, sitting on the plush, oversized rug that dotted the floor. “Is that a compliment or a way to distract me from your never-ending lyricism?” I teased again, though my heart raced at his words. Jihoon had a surprising way of loading every interaction with flirtation and sincerity.

He chuckled, the sound echoing in the room like a gentle breeze through trees. “Why not both? You know, inspiration often strikes when you least expect it.” I could see the spark in his beautiful eyes, a twinkling mischief that made my stomach flutter.

As he shifted back to his work, I watched him, enthralled by the grace of his movements the way his brow furrowed in concentration as he considered a chord change, or how he would occasionally spin his hair with a distracted hand, habitually curling and uncurling the silky strands. I loved every moment in this sanctuary of sound, but I loved just being near him even more.

The days blurred into a sweet cascade of memories. I often sat across from Jihoon at the grand piano while he effortlessly shaped the notes that floated between us like dandelion seeds in the wind. Each session felt both intense and intimate as we dove deeper into the creative process. There was a rhythm to our collaboration, an unsung harmony that tethered us together on a level that felt profound yet wonderfully innocent.

One evening, wrapped in the cozy embrace of dim fairy lights flickering above us, Jihoon paused mid-composition and turned toward me. “I’ve been working on something,” he said, the excitement palpable in his tone. My heart raced. I had heard countless pieces he crafted, each one a glimpse into his brilliant mind, but this time felt different.

“What is it?” I could hardly contain my curiosity.

“It’s a song,” he murmured, his gaze intense, holding mine like a secret shared between two lovers. “And… it’s about you.” His words hung in the air, swirling around us, igniting something deeper within my heart.

“Me?” I gasped, my breath caught somewhere between astonishment and a delightful thrill. “Forget that I can’t sing this is incredible, Jihoon! You’re going to make me cry,” I said, my voice trembling slightly at his confession.

He scoffed, waving me off playfully. “You have a beautiful voice. You just haven’t discovered it yet.” He reached for my hand gently, intertwining our fingers. The warmth of his touch ignited a spark between us, and the room felt charged with an unseen force.

“Will you play it for me?” I asked, leaning closer, my heart drumming an anxious melody of hope as I implored him with my eyes. The camera in my mind clicked, freezing that moment in time as he took a deep breath, exuding a charm that made the air around us shimmer.

Seating himself back at the piano, Jihoon’s fingers danced across the keys, and I was submerged in the music a symphony of notes that felt like poetry woven into sound. There it was, the rhythm of our shared moments the laughter, the unspoken words, the stolen glances that hinted at something profound.

As he played, I closed my eyes and allowed the music to envelop me. His voice was soft, melodic, as he sang the lyrics a confession that fluttered like butterflies in my chest, unveiling the depth of his feelings. Each word resonated as if he poured every ounce of his soul into the song, crafting a heartfelt testimony of how he had fallen in love.

“I never knew how beautiful love could be,

Until I saw the world through your eyes, you see.

Like a melody turning, soft and true,

My heart is a song that finds its way to you.”

My heart soared and plummeted, echoing each poignant lyric. Jihoon finished, and silence filled the room, tainted only by the gentle echo of the final chord that lingered, time suspended around us like a fragile promise. Our eyes locked, and in that moment, the world outside faded away.

“It’s beautiful,” I managed, my voice barely above a whisper, filled with emotion. “You’ve poured everything into this.”

“Because you are everything to me,” he replied, his words a soft caress, wiping away all doubts and fears. In that heartbeat of silence, I understood I was not merely a muse for his music; I was the song that danced in his heart, the rhythm that urged him forward. My cheeks flushed with warmth, and I didn’t need to think twice before leaning in, pressing my lips softly against his.

We were a symphony beautifully entwined, two souls captured in a moment that would etch itself into the very fabric of our existence. The studio, our sacred haven filled with endless possibilities, bore witness to our love an extraordinary melody composed by fate, played out in soft whispers and tender moments, forever lingering in my heart.

[eyelessfaces]

keys

llewyn davis x reader

tiny short fic for my wet cat boyfriend llewyn<3

summary: you ask llewyn to officially move in with you.

warnings: tiniest bit of angst, mentions of being broke. it's barely there

tags: gn!reader, established relationship, uhh it's just sweet idk what to tell you

word count: 0.8k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog @eyelessupdates

Llewyn is standing, leaning against the kitchen counter, almost sitting on it, his hands gripping the edge of it. He sighs and rolls his eyes as you walk up to him handing him a small box, and he feels a bit guilty that you seem so excited about it when he is not really. 

“What for,” he exhales as he takes the box from your hands and shakes his head. “You didn't have to.” he declares sternly, an almost scolding look over his face. Where some people say this just to be polite, Llewyn means it. You didn't have to.

“Open it!” you urge him, raising your eyebrows, biting down onto your bottom lip in apprehension and excitation. He sighs once again as he looks down at the tiny box in his hand.

“Come on, you know I don't like gifts, now I feel like I owe you something” he frowns, looking back up at you. 

It's your turn to sigh in impatience as you put your hands on either side of his neck, pulling him closer to you so you can press your lips against his and get him to stop complaining; it’s one efficient way to stop him from talking back. He hums against your mouth, his free hand instinctively shifting to rest against your hip. 

“Shut your mouth and open the damn box” you order him in a scolding whisper as you pull away, leaving him chuckling softly.

He licks his lips as he finally lifts the lid of the box, discovering a key inside.

“What is that” he frowns, looking up at you.

“It's a key, dumbass.” you scoff, shrugging. 

“I know what it is.” 

A heavy silence settles in the room, and it makes you confused. Llewyn takes the key out of the box, his expression unreadable as his gaze shifts from the small object to you. “Why”

“I want you to move in with me. Like, officially. No more couchsurfing” you declare. Even though you were a couple and Llewyn was spending most of his time at your place, he sometimes felt like he owed you and needed to give you space, crashing at the Gorfeins or at Jim and Jean’s from time to time. 

“This doesn't change much, you're already basically living here anyways. But now it's official, and you have a key, so you won't have to get in through the fire escape when I'm not home” you add tentatively, trying to read over his face whatever he feels at the moment. 

His silence is starting to make you anxious, starting to make you regret your decision. Maybe he’s not ready, maybe he doesn’t want this yet, maybe he doesn’t want this at all. You have never really talked about this, about anything regarding your future together.

“Yeah I figured but,” he finally starts, staring at the key in his hand. “It’s just… I can’t pay rent, angel.” he sighs, looking back at you with a miserable expression over his face.

“I know,” you huff out, relieved that it seems to be his only issue. “I’m not asking you to. You’ll help whenever you can” you nod. “I just want to lift this weight off your shoulders” you explain, your hand sliding to link with his.

“Like I said, it’s barely changing anything” you mutter under your breath.

He nods back at you, looking back at the key in his hand before putting it on the counter. 

“Okay.”

Your eyebrows raise slightly. “Okay what? Okay you’ll live with me?”

“Yeah.” he smiles, his hands setting at your waist. “I’ll live with you.” he nods, pulling you closer as his arm wraps around your shoulders, peppering small kisses over your temple and forehead. 

“Good” you say, leaning into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m glad you’re okay with it”

He scoffs, pressing another gentle kiss to your forehead. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve been couchsurfing for years. It’s just a damn key but it means a lot.” he huffs out. “Don’t go thinking I’m sad about the thought of not sneaking in through the fire escape anymore.”

You laugh, “Your back will thank me” you smile looking up at him. 

“Jean will thank you.” he corrects, earning a scoff from you before you cup his face and press a kiss against his cheek.

He grins sweetly as his lips brush against yours, before full on pressing them against your mouth. 

“I'm glad you haven't grown tired of me yet. I love you” he says as he pulls away, his lips curling in a small, grateful smile.

“I don't think I could ever grow tired of you, Davis. I love you too.”

“It’s only a matter of time I’m afraid” he scoffs.

“Mh, we’ll see, then you’ll have to give back your key and beg me to even sleep on the couch” you declare, looking at him with pity.

“You’ll give me the couch treatment?” he gasps, falsely appalled.

“Oh that'll be if I'm kind enough to let you in,” you tease.

“Alright I think I liked you better when you said you couldn't ever grow tired of me”

—

SUPPORT YOUR FANFICS WRITERS, REBLOG, LEAVE A COMMENT, IT IS WHAT KEEPS US GOING<3

inside llewyn davis taglist: @apollo-enthusiast @scarabgrant @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missmarmaladeth @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @campingwiththecharmings @dameronshandholder @spider-starry @spxctorsslxt @dowbastan

[befemininenow]

Those cute little pills really did a 180 in your overall life, huh?

HRT, or feminizing hormone pills, are the one thing that truly feminizes your entire body. Some of these changes can be permanent while other changes may be reversed. While some of you reading this would immediately place an order to take hormones for rapid feminization, the reality is YMMV.

Some of you may experience feminization much quicker while others may require a higher dose. It’s also not uncommon to experience unexpected changes like mood swings and sexuality changes while on hormones. Body changes such as softening of the skin may be reversed while other changes such as growing of the breasts are permanent (w/out surgical procedures). Although some of this sounds like I’m trying to scare you, this is something you may want to be aware of before taking HRT. Still, I would highly recommend taking HRT, especially if you’re in a younger stage of life and your health allows it.

As for me, I’m at a stage where I unfortunately can’t take hormones (for now). I was devastated to receive that news, but it’s due to health reasons I wish to keep private. Fortunately, it won’t take me too long to get the okay for HRT since I’m rapidly improving on my health. Yes, I’m serious about transitioning. But once I’m finally allowed to take HRT, would I take it?

Honestly, my feelings are conflicted. I’m aware of the body changes; in fact, the pics you saw of me is the type of woman I want to become on the outside. But what about the mental changes? Although there’s not much proof that HRT can turn you “girly”, there have been stories from other trans girls that have experienced mental changes once they were well into HRT. Ranging from becoming more emotional to gaining new interests in guys, some describe these changes as a rollercoaster ride. Low key, I’m a little worried about these changes because they may not be who I want to become.

Yet, I don’t want to give up the opportunity to transition. I may lose my strength and height, but I would feel more energized and above my goals. I may not be able to have kids, but that won’t prevent me from becoming a loving parent. And as much as I hate to say it, even if my sexuality experiences a shift of interests and attractions to that of a straight girl, I will finally feel more comfortable being with someone else as a woman than I ever was as a guy. At the end of the day, I prefer to take the plunge and transition into my feminine self over lamenting how I should have transitioned much earlier.

I apologize if this post was very lengthy, but it served as a vent for my HRT caption since it hits home harder than I thought. The point of feminizing transition is discovering who your inner woman is really like. I wasn’t ready two years ago and I’m still not ready, but I can no longer afford to wait. My choice was made and I’m not looking back. I made my choice; how about you?

[parrythisucasual]

*flies into your inbox*

Hiya! I recently discovered your account and I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING

Is it alright if I request Jax x GenderNeutral!Reader, but Reader is a Magician and has ✨ magician rizz ✨ (they flirt a lot)

Like, Magician!Reader would constantly preform tricks (card guessing, making things disappear and reappear, pulling a rabbit jax out of a hat, etc) and brightens up the mood a lot

It’ll be really funny if they prank everyone too! Nothing harmless, just giving a small fright, and stealing nearby character accessories (Pompi’s hat, Ragatha’s bow, Jax’s keys) and using them in their magic tricks

(I just want to squeeze Jax to oblivion so bad it doesn’t feel healthy at all 🫠)

Thank you!

I DID MY BEST IMSORRYFORTHEWAIT

Jax x Magician! Reader

You were the life of the circus! Everyone loved your jokes and tricks. Except for Jax, of course, but that was most likely because you’d used him as a prop once too many times. It wasn’t your fault he was so funny! And besides, yanking a rabbit out of a hat was a classic, right?

Speaking of tricks, you were “on stage” once more, performing your little heart out. With a wave of your hand, Ragatha’s bow was no longer in her hair, now pinched between your finger and thumb, “Dear me! Are you missing something~?” you taunt playfully. Ragatha chuckles, clapping a bit, “How’d you even do that?”

“Ah-ah! Haven’t you heard?” you toss her bow back to her, “a magician never reveals their secrets!” You wiggled your fingers, snapping and a coin appeared. The coin danced between each finger, somersaulting over each knuckle effortlessly. 

“Although,” you muse, walking past her, “Some tricks I might teach. When they're not so…” you lift your hand, the coin missing, “...amazing anymore.” You step past her, heading for the kitchen. You weren't hungry, no, you couldn't be, but you were in the mood for a snack anyway.

Rounding the corner, you smack straight into Jax. Your stack of cards flies out of your breast pocket, scattering across the floor. You grin, chuckling a little at him, “...and that’s how you do a 52 pickup?” you joke.

Jax rolls his eyes, but bends down to help you pick up the cards, “Maybe you wouldn’t have to perform a pickup if you’d watch where you’re going, sparkles.” You raise a brow, shifting the cards into a neat stack, “Sparkles?”

“You know. Sparkles, glitter, magic!” he wiggles his fingers on one hand as he hands you the cards with the other. You grin, “That wasn’t clear at all, Bunny.” He stands, helping you up, “It was totally clear! You’re just too dumb to get it.”

You wink at him, “Careful how you talk to me! I just might need a rabbit for my next performance~” He glares at you, “Don’t even think about it!” he snaps. You chuckle again, “You’re a riot, Jax! I love hanging out with you.”

He pauses, the anger melting from his face to be replaced by curious confusion, “You… do? I thought you hated me, like everyone else.” Your smile disappears, “Jax, nobody hates you. Especially not me. How can I?”

He shrugs, “I dunno. Just seems like you would.” You fall silent, unsure of what to do next, when an idea creeps into your brain and takes hold. You slowly smile again, a mischievous little smirk, “Say… you wanna see a magic trick?” He stares at you a moment, suspicious, “Sure…” his tone is nervous, yet curious. You lean up, giving him a quick kiss, before giving jazz hands, “And that’s how you steal someone’s breath away!” You bounce around the corner, leaving the stunned blushing bunny behind, “See you later, Jax~!”

[sirenesolace]

if there is one Law of Assumption youtuber that i would recommend to EVERYONE its Sammy Ingram.

A LOT of LOA creators (tumblr, twitter) and youtubers have so many limiting beliefs and they love to keep you stuck. Ever since i discovered Sammy’s channel, everything made so much more sense.

Sammy has so many videos explaining any questions you may have and she is very specific about everything so your left with no doubt or questions after.

I really recommend Sammy for anyone starting out their Law of Assumption journey or anyone who has known about it for a long time!

here are some LOA tumblr/twitter myths i’d like to debunk:

• “you NEED a good self concept to manifest/keep your manifestation” wrong. I remember when i first started out, i truly believe that having a good self concept was the key to manifesting until i realized that i’ve manifested so many (positive and negative) things in the past while having a shitty self concept. Also, a lot of celebrities have somewhat of a low self concept, yet they’re still able to manifest and get their dream lives and you can too! Having a great self concept is a BONUS when manifesting and it does help with any limiting belief you may have but don’t let it be something that paralyzes you.

•”you need to enter the void to manifest” ok not a lot of people say this but a lot of beginners on LOA tumblr think that the void is the only way to shift or manifest their dream life. If you can’t get into the void it’s OK! there’s OTHER easier manifestation techniques who will HELP you get the exact same results! Remember that YOU are the one manifesting, NOT the techniques (lmk if you guys want a post about the different ones).

That’s all i have for now! have an amazing day sirens🪼💕

—H🪼

[jake-s-azaleea]

Dancing with our hands tied

Duskwood one shot

pairing: Jake X mc

warnings: I'm the best writer y'all know

a fanfic I promised in the comments of an incorrect quote 🤍

(if y'all didn't get it, the title is from a Taylor Swift song)

***

As time flowed onward, the band of companions who weathered a profound loss gravitated towards one another, forging bonds more profound than ever. MC relocated to Duskwood, taking up residence in a dwelling near Lilly's place of employment, while Jessy and Dan found themselves employed at Phil's Bar, with Jessy immersed in administrative tasks behind the scenes. Cleo remained dedicated to her mother's ventures, and Thomas... his frequent companionship with Hannah hinted at a blossoming connection. Their unity grew steadfast as they discovered solace in each other's presence.

Jake, still evading capture, continued his fugitive existence. With the case concluded, he no longer needed to risk himself as he did in the past, allowing him to slip away for extended periods, evading detection until his trail could be picked up once more. The winding roads beckoned him toward his elusive destination, guiding him to where he felt he truly belonged- Next to her.

It's been a year and everything feels normal. The Pine Glade Festival was getting closer and Jessy planned a whole day of activities for them.

They were all staying at Aurora at a table listening to her and the perfect fantasy she imagined.She looked like she was getting her colour back into her face after all this time. She looked more content, her eyes reflecting a newfound sense of peace. It's a subtle shift, but one that speaks volumes. She was destroyed after the incident and didn't speak to anyone for a whole month.

a part of her died in that fire.

But now they were all so invested in her plans for a perfect day. The road to the waterfall was now opened and she wanted so badly to go there. the others just agreed and smiled at her.

A few days passed and the Pine Glade Festival came. They were supposed to meet there at 6 PM.

***

You grab your phone, keys and wallet and head towards the center of the town. The sun lingered in the sky, casting its gentle glow over the town, its pale rays painting the streets with a comforting warmth. As daylight stretched its fingers across the rooftops and cobblestone paths, the town seemed to bask in a tranquil embrace, a serene moment captured in the soft light of day.

You get there pretty early, but your train of thoughts is stopped by the sound of your phone buzzing.

Jake: I see you.

You sigh, your lips curving into a small smile. 'Of course you do' you thought to yourself.

You glance around and catch sight of him standing by a terrace, clad in a black hoodie. Despite the distance veiling his eyes, his shy smile is unmistakable, a subtle yet intriguing expression that hints at hidden depths beneath the surface. You sprint towards him, your heart racing with anticipation, and envelop him in a tight embrace, your arms encircling his neck in a moment of closeness and connection. The rush of emotions floods through you, mingling with the thrill of the unexpected encounter in the midst of the mysterious setting.

His gaze meets yours, a silent exchange of emotions and unspoken words

"Hi there"

"Hello, MC."

"We should get going, the others must be waiting for us."

"After you." he said smiling, his gestures expressing for you to lead the way.

You two walk in a comfortable silence most of the way until you see the others in distance. As you approach them, Jake's gaze meets yours:

"How are you feeling?"

"I will be fine"

He sighs and puts his hand on the small of your back, slowly closing the distance between you and your friends. He knew what this day meant to you. Losing Richy must still sting after all this time and being here after a year... Perhaps torture.

"Hello guys"

"Hi, MC! Hi, Jake! I'm so glad you could make it here" Jessy exclaimed happily.

"Oh, me too, you have no idea" you said smiling warmly.

You warmly greeted everyone and embarked on a journey through the festival, immersing yourself in every game and delight it had to offer, savoring each moment of joy and excitement. You anchored yourself in these moments, enjoying them wholeheartedly next to your friends.

You found yourself in a spot where the music was enchanting, and the atmosphere was filled with joy as people danced and had a great time.

Thomas and Hannah flew like two lovebirds towards the platform and started dancing, their movements as light as a feather. The sheer joy radiating from them was truly enchanting, spreading like a sweet melody through the air: it was just intoxicating. Jessy led the charge, followed by Cleo, Lilly, and Dan, while you and Jake strolled behind, soaking in the magical moment. The scene was filled with energy and excitement, creating a vibrant and lively atmosphere.

As you were walking quietly and listening to the music, you decide to break the silence.

"Do you dance?"

"No." he said without looking in your direction.

"Oh, alright."

"Ask me anyway"

"Do you want to dance with me?"

"Yes." he said glancing at you.

You smiled, maintaining eye contact as you got to the dance floor.

He extended his hand for you to grasp, guiding you onto the platform. As the music enveloped you both, you began to dance as if the melody was composed solely for the two of you. With each note, Jake skillfully led you in the dance, creating a harmonious and captivating rhythm between you.

After a few songs, a slow one began, and he drew you near, enveloping you in the gentle embrace of the music. The closeness between you two added a layer of intimacy to the dance, intensifying the emotions shared in that moment.

"When did you learn how to dance?" you asked.

"I figured you might want to dance today so... I did my research."

"You learnt to dance for me?"

He said nothing in return but tightened his embrace.

Maybe home has a heartbeat 🤍

****

I just loved writing this

prompts to @duskwood-mc-art for inspiring me to write it

[lokigonnakmsforbucky]

Perfect (S.W.)

Sam Winchester x Plus sized F! Reader

Request: maybe some s1/2 sam? it’s the reader's first time, and sam js is really sweet to her, focusing on her pleasure, guiding her through everything, and noticing how she reacts to his touches and teasing her, just like body worship lol. nicknames, Sam being lowkey an oral god🤭 lol. maybe the reader is just a little bit shy because she is more chubby? idk if this makes sense but yeah!! I hope you can do this, have a lovely day <3 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Rating: Mature (minors DNI)

Warning: Some violence, p n v, unprotected (Wrap it before you tap it!), Sam Is an oral god 🤧, talk of insecurities, loss of virginity.

Gif, not mine*

A/N I am accepting requests and making a supernatural tag list!

The lock behind you clicking locked sounded like music to your ears. Working straight after class from 4-12 was exhausting, to say the least, at a bar nonetheless. Annoying college frat boys, creepy old men, prostitutes (get the bag sis), you get it though life is hard.

“Only two more months then Im out of here…” You whispered under your breath. You were right though, only two more months at Standford and you were off to do big things in the world.

The walk back to your small apartment outside of campus was cold and damp. You could feel how moist the air was and the cold breeze hit your face and your legs, yet you loved this weather. Not too hot nor too cold just a bit chilly. The trees around you had orange leaves and every house you pass had pumpkins outside carved with scary or funny faces. Halloween was just around the corner. You were ready for it.

For the first time in two years, you were ready for this Halloween. After everything that happened.

Jess.

You couldn’t believe what happened when you found out that Jessica, one of your closest friends from elementary school was killed in a freak fire accident and her boyfriend Sam found her.

You, Sam, and Jess were inseparable at Stanford. Even days before her death you guys were at a bar celebrating Halloween. Well, jess was. You and Sam were wearing the most boring casual clothes ever. You both didn’t like the attention.

The Party scene, the crazy frat boys, insane sorority girls. Wasn’t your thing. It wasn’t his. But it was all for Jess. Which made the arrangement work.

You lost contact with Sam shortly after Jess’s death. Which stung. Thinking he was one of your best friends and you lost your other to the crazy fire. Yet, life goes on.

The door to your apartment was dull, no sign on the door. No welcome mat. Nothing that indicated a human living there. Thats how you liked it.

You opened the door to find it pitch black in the room before you.

Thats odd. Did I turn the lights off? I swear I don't remember turning them off before I left.

Your mind was racing with questions, you reached towards the left, using the dim hallway lighting to shine just enough for you to see your light switch. You flick it and your apartment shines.

Your apartment was dull. School textbooks on the counter, your backpack on the chair. Your small tv looked dusty in the living room from the lack of use, and the sad couches that hardly were sat on.

You were never home hardly, from working shifts at the bar and school. The only downtime you had was in your bedroom in the comfort of your bed with the latest Stephen King book at your disposal.

You hang your jacket on the hanger and throw your keys on the counter. You sigh loudly, your body was ready for that date to the bed.

A bang in your room made you break your train of thought. You turn your head towards your room and grab a kitchen knife. Slowly making your way towards your room, your heartbeat was picking up slowly.

Your door was open like it was before, but you could feel that something was off. You flicked the light on and nothing was there. But, you discovered that your window was wide open and your books from your end table were on the floor.

You walk towards the window and slide it shut and look out. Nothing seemed to be different yet...something felt off.

You took another breath before you felt arms lock your upper half. You scream and thrash to no avail.

"Please don't be scared...I'm just very hungry. You will come back...don't worry." The voice belonged to a man, you know. You thrashed again and looked up to see yourself looking back. Your mirror showed the man behind you.

He was a kid...maybe only 19? Looked like a freshman in college in his Standford Sweatshirt. But, his teeth were sharp. You kicked the wall and to your surprise, you broke his hold on you as you both fell to the ground.

This was your chance.

You collected yourself quickly running through the door and into the living room grabbing the closest thing to you for cover. Which in this case was a light fixture.

The boy walked through the door, his breaths were heavy. "Look I didn't want to hurt you. "

"Well, I really wanna hurt you."

Sam? That voice couldn't have been him.

A bang of a shotgun went off from your right, you looked to your side to not only see Sam but another guy with him with the shotgun. The man beside Sam seemed to notice you staring at him. His green eyes piercing into yours.

“Get behind me!” He yelled.

You didn’t have to think twice, you ran behind him and Sam while they took care of the deranged man.

“Close your eyes y/n.” Sam finally spoke to you, a machete in his hand. The man beside him was above the man that was kneeling down in pain with a shotgun pointed at his head. You looked back up at Sam, and his face was still just as handsome as it always was.

“Please.”

You finally closed your eyes. Hearing Sam’s footsteps move in front of you. I could hear the deranged man grunting, “Damn you Winchesters. One of these days. We will Kill you.”

“Well, good thing today isn’t the day then.” You could hear Sam’s voice and then a grunt following with a thud.

“Y/n keep your eyes closed. I don’t want you seeing this.”

You kept your eyes closed, tempted to open them. Just to see Sam. He is finally back… after everything that happened. He’s back.

Maybe this is just a dream?

What felt like hours of your eyes being closed was mere minutes as you heard grunting and a door close soon after.

“You can open your eyes now.”

You slowly opened your eyes, your eyes stung from the bright lights, your vision blurry. You reached your hand up and rubbed your eye one by one. The room was still lit with your lamps on the sides of the couch, but you could see the traces of dark red blood on the floor. You could see they were smeared like they were trying to clean it.

“You…. Killed that boy?” You looked up at Sam, the person you hung out with the most, missed the most after everything that has happened.

“He.. wasn’t a human. He was a vampire and he was gonna turn you Y/n.” Sam’s voice was so quiet, like he was afraid you would be scared of him. But, you knew Sam. He would never lie about this.

“This can’t be real…” You looked around and walked towards the couch. Sam following behind. Sitting beside you.

“It is…everything in the supernatural is. My family has hunted them for years…after my mother died from the yellowed eyed demon. Like Jess.” Sam’s voice cracked of mentioning Jess. You slide you hand in his and squeezed.

“A demon killed her?” You didn’t want to believe it, but it explains how weird her death was.

Sam took a breathe and looked at you, “Yes. He did. But, we are going to kill him. The guy that was with me, thats Dean. My brother. He basically raised me while dad hunted to avenge my mother. Now… it’s just me and him.”

Sam never talked about his family much, but he always mentioned his brother a few times. Which explains the facial similarities of the green eyed hunter.

I took a breathe and let his hand go and rubbed my arm,“Why was the Vampire coming for me?”

Sam sighed, “Me and Dean found leads from recent vampire attacks a few towns over. Has to be a nearby the university. Says why a lot of students went missing too.” You grabbed my phone to see it was now 1:45 am, how has it been almost two hours sense this all happened? “The boy that attacked you, went missing a few weeks back. He was sent to take you.”

“To be a vampire?” Your voice cracked a little in fear. Sam nodded, “I wouldn’t have let that happen. You deserve a good life.”

You finally did what you wanted to do for so long, you wrapped your arms around Sam and gave him a hug.

“Sam Winchester you deserve a good life too. Don’t sell yourself short. Thank you for saving my life.”

Sam hugged you back tight, like you were going to disappear any moment.

“Your not safe here Y/n. I got a motel room downtown. Pack clothes and bring a book. I need to know you will be safe.”

————————————————————————

2 weeks later

The last few weeks have been eventful to say the least… Sam came back, you met his Metallica loving brother, they rid of the vampire nest and overall you finally felt at ease after the two years of not knowing what happened to Jess.

Sam and Dean stayed near Stanford to keep an eye on you and make sure all is well. Coming down any other day and eating at the diner or having a drink at the bar, (which meant free drinks while your manager wasn’t working since you were the bartender), and having a new friend and your best friend back. All was well.

Yet, you could feel some tension between you and Sam. You’ve always had a small crush on him, who hasn’t though? His thick hair, his height, his hazel eyes, plus his personality? People would be crazy to not have a tiny crush on him.

But, with this small crush you could feel the guilt in the back of your mind. This man was one of your best friend’s boyfriend.

What would Jess think if she was alive?

“Y/n!” Sam’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked up at him, your popcorn still in your lap as you we’re watching Scream on the Tv with Sam.

You came back home a few days ago and Sam wanted to spend a night over, since tomorrow he and Dean will be heading to South Dakota to see a friend of the family’s.

“Yeah?”

“You okay? You’ve been quiet for 30 minutes and you usually never shut up about Billy and Stu.”

“I’m just thinking…”

Sam paused the movie and turned towards me. “Spill it.”

You sighed and laugh a little. “Sam, it’s nothing.”

Sam took the popcorn out of my hands and scooted closed towards me, “Must be something if you are quiet for a long period of time.”

You took a breathe, Sam wasn’t gonna give up until you told him what was on your mind, “I’m just thinking about my future. I guess.” You laughed nervously.

“Your future? What about it?”

“Just thinking about everything, what I’m gonna be doing, Where I will be, If I would marry. Stuff like that.” Sam looked at you seriously after you mentioning marriage.

“Y/n, if someone wouldn’t marry you. I would be very surprised. Who wouldn’t? Your funny, down to earth, strong and plus your personality is amazing.”

You laughed, “Yeah. No. I’m not the looks of someone to be married.”

Moments passed, The silence thickened. You could hear your own breathing and Sam set down the popcorn on the table and took the blanket off of me and him. “Get up and come with me.”

“What?”

Sam grabbed my hands and pulled me up towards him. “Come with me. I have to show you something.” As he said that he took your right hand in his and walked towards your room and opened the door.

Your room looked the same as it always did. Bed maid, your window closed, your books on the table.

Sam took you in front of the mirror, him standing behind you.

“What do you see?”

You look at him through the mirror and give him an odd look.

“What?”

Sam took a breath, “In the mirror, what do you see?”

“I see me…. We done?”

“No. You see yourself, what do you see about you? What do you like or dislike?”

You rolled your eyes, “What’s your point, Sam?”

"I want you to see the beautiful woman, I see."

Beautiful? He was talking about me? Your mind was spiraling in thoughts. Years of self-doubt, men leaving you since you didn't fit into their "desires". Just to have Sam, your best friend and crush call you beautiful looking at you with no makeup, shorts that showed your curve, thick thighs touching each other, and a tank top that didn't hide your bloated stomach.

Beautiful.

"I want you to see how perfect you are to me. Your personality, your smile, how you change the room. " Sam chuckles, "Even your weird obsession with old 90 movies." Sam's hands gently roam down your body to be around your waist.

Beautiful. Perfect.

Not in a million years those two words would fall out of anyone's mouth. Not Sam's at least, You never would have thought that he would talk about you like that.

“Everything of yours is perfect. Your curves, your hips, your smile. " As he said that his hands were all over your body...touching every inch gently. You look at Sam through the mirror, "Sam..." Seeing his hands on your body felt fantastic and right.

"I know the past two years have been hard, I wish I was here for you. Things happened...but I am here now." Sam said his hand was now on my cheek caressing softly. "Let me have this chance."

You took a deep breath, this felt like a dream. Sam Winchester really said that and meant that.

You look up at Sam and nod your head. Instantly his lips met yours.

The kiss was full of passion yet gentle. Like You were a fragile art piece in a museum. His hand was on your waist and he pulled you in closer as he finished the kiss.

"Is this okay?" His hand had my shirt. You nodded your head and he took your shirt off revealing your black bra.

You covered your stomach as Sam looked at you, he wrapped his hands on your arms and moved them away, "I told you that you are beautiful, don't hide yourself from me.

Sam pinned your arms to your side and from your lips down to your stomach near the top of your pants. He kissed every scar, and stretch mark as he went. Whispering all sorts of sweet nothings, while he kissed you.

Sam looked up at you and smiled, "Take your pants off and lay on the bed baby girl."

You took a deep breath and turned from Sam, slipping your pants off and laying down on the bed. Sam was now shirtless and working on his pants.

Once he was left in his boxers he walked towards you and climbed on top of you, his face above yours. He gave you a small kiss on the forehead, the tip of the nose, and finally your lips.

It felt euphoric, the amount of times you never thought this would happen or even think you would be alone for all your life was out of the equation. You were happy.

With his small kisses, Sam cupped your breasts in his hands and softly squeezed them. Making you moan out softly. He lifted you up and unclipped your bra. You slipped out of your bra and allowed him to throw it on the floor. He kissed you once more before fondling your breasts and using his mouth on your nipple, swirling his tongue around your sensitive bud.

You softly moan and hold his head. Yanking his hair softly, Sam releases your nipple and looks up at you, "Better be careful Y/n. I want to take my time, but I will take you right now if you want."

Sam kissed your breasts and went down to your clothed pussy. Kissing the top of your underwear. His dirty talk made you feel excited for what's to come. Your underwear was soaked and Sam knew it, he rubbed your clothed pussy up and down making you moan out loud.

This was really happening. You were going to lose your virginity to Sam.

"Sam... I've never done this before." You admitted to him. He looked up at you and kissed your lips softly, "If you wanna stop we-" Before he could finish his sentence you cut him off with another kiss.

"I want you Sam."

You kissed Sam once more, deepening this kiss. His hands go back to your underwear and easily slide them off.

He breaks the kiss and goes down to my pussy, looking up at you before licking up and sucking on my clit. You moan out loud feeling the sensation of his tongue, Sam licked up and down and sucked on your clit before using a finger and thrusting in your pussy.

His one finger felt amazing inside, yet it stretched you out. If you couldn't take a finger. When he finally goes inside it may not fit. But, no matter the pleasure right now was overwhelming. You didn't want it to stop.

Sam does stop abusing your clit, rubbing your pussy, and adding another finger. You close your eyes and arch your back up, moaning out.

He was paying attention to everything that made you feel nothing but pleasure. He used his two fingers in a scissoring motion and that plus his mouth on you took you over the edge.

Your eyes feel blurry and your breaths are heavy, you could feel Sam's eyes on you. He leans up and kisses you. "Feel good baby girl?"

You smile and nod, "Yes."

You never noticed that Sam slipped his boxers off, his length hitting your thigh. You look down and take a breath.

It's a lot bigger than I thought...I don't think it would fit.

Your mind was spiraling and you could feel your nerves go through the roof.

"Don't overthink, keep your eyes on me. It will be uncomfortable but I am right here." Sam noticed you were in your head. His hands were rubbing your legs comfortably to make you relax. He kissed you gently and pulled you close to him as he rubbed his cock near your entrance.

Sam pulled away looking at you in your eyes, "You ready?"

A moment passed and you finally nodded your head. You wanted it You leaned up and kissed Sam once more. The head of his cock rubbing against your cunt.

During the kiss Sam thrusted in, You gasped in the kiss and he stopped moving while you looked like you were in discomfort.

When your face relaxed he thrusted again slowly until you told him to go faster.

The pleasure felt amazing, nothing felt better than being with Sam. You didn't want anyone else but him, the feel of his kisses, his touch. Was the most amazing thing you have ever felt.

The feeling of his cock filling you up to the brim felt amazing, how you stretched around to fit him and only him.

Sam was grunting as he thrusted, he started to moan softly kissing you while he thrusted into you. He gripped the sheets beside you as you gripped his shoulders filling him into you.

Sam pulled out and came on your stomach, "Sorry.." He chuckled and grabbed his shirt and cleaned you up, You smiled and looked down at him cleaning you up.

The one thing you knew for sure was that not only Sam was your first love, but no matter what he would always be your last.

[urban-fleabag]

Hi... So... You responded to my post about my shift a little while ago and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be more in touch with my theriotypes. I have a good idea on how to let myself be a cat, but I was wanting to know about my (Also recently discovered) wolf theriotype. Being a cat is easy, I've been doing it my whole life without realizing it and just need to be more open to it, but the wolf is a problem. I know that you're a coyote, and was wondering if you could give me tips about being a wild canine or if you have any other sites, communities, or other advice for me to figure it out myself. I've been researching wolf behavior, so I think that'll help.

You're definitely on the right path researching wolf behavior! That'll point you in the direction of what sorts of things will make you feel more like you and give you ideas on what to try out. For me, personally, vocalizations are pretty huge- that's a very Coyote Thing, but can apply to wolves too, howling is like, one of their Key Features.

I also highly recommend making your room your den and establishing a local territory- either just your back yard, or some local places you hang out. I find it helps a lot for me to think of home and work as parts of my territory, it helps me feel secure. Some people even go out and "claim" parts of local parks with howling/vocals and hanging out, but I haven't gotten the chance to do that yet.

If you're a gamer, I HIGHLY recommend Wolf Quest on the PC- one of my partners is a wolf and they're legitimately obsessed with the game and have been following its development for years. You play as a wolf in Yellowstone and you have a pack and raise pups, and I've heard really great things.

I also personally find that adding extra meat to your diet if you're so inclined can help you feel more at home. I need the extra protein anyways, so it was a major bonus for me, but really anything you can tear up with your teeth should be good. Make sure you're still attending to your human form's needs, but feel free to indulge. I also find oranges are a good treat to rip and gnaw on if you're not a fan of meats.

Some good media that might help you feel at home is a movie called Wolfwalkers (highly recommend even to a non therian tbh it's great), and Autumn J on YouTube makes a lot of alterhuman music including one specifically about wolves if you wanna give a listen! It always makes me feel shifty in a good way.

Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of sites or community based links, so I'll crowsource this one- I hope you don't mind me answering publicly. I will say, avoid the fuck out of TikTok. It's full of misinformation and gatekeeping, and generally just kind of a warped view of what therianthropy is. Feel free to check it out for gear and quads I guess, I've heard good things about quads but I can't do them due to my carpal tunnel and they're a newer thing afaik. Just don't rely on TikTok for informative stuff- it skews super young and overall isn't helpful for education, which is fine because it's an entertainment app.

[ap0llonian]

Vines and Valdez

LEO VALDEZ x Dionysus!READER

sypnosis: in a haze of pain and intoxication after a grueling mission, you, both injured and exhausted, find yourselves lying side by side in the quiet woods. As you struggle to come to terms with your survival, your playful bickering and retorts reveal deeper feelings. Amidst your banter ans genuine concern for one another, you discover that your stubbornness might just be the key to your bond.

notes: reader is a child of Dionysus (sibling if Pollux), reader is gender neutral, the two of them are oblivious idiots, friends to lovers, fluff

--------

The world around you spun like a merry-go-round that had forgotten how to stop. Everything was a blur of light and color, and you could feel the remnants of whatever you’d consumed earlier still burning through your veins, mixing with the aftereffects of too much wine. You were high, drunk, and quite frankly, blissfully out of it.

Except for the searing pain in your side, the throbbing in your head, and the uncomfortable sensation of blood sticking your shirt to your skin.

Leo wasn’t much better off. He lay next to you, his shirt torn, revealing a deep gash across his torso. His curls were matted with sweat and dirt, and his normally bright eyes were clouded with exhaustion. You both had fought like Tartarus during the last mission, and now you were paying the price. The woods around you were eerily sileny, like even the monsters had decided to call it a day and leave you two dumbfucks alone to die in peace.

“Why aren’t we dead yet?” Leo groaned, attempting to shift upright, but failing back with a very prominent wince.

You lolled your head towards him, a lazy smirk dancing across your lips. “Because we’re just too stubborn to give up.”

He let out a weak laugh that quickly turned into a cough when his injuries made themselves known, his face scrunching up in pain. “Or maybe the gods just want to watch us suffer a little longer.” He remarked sarcastically, glaring daggers at the sky as if wanting to tell Zeus to knock it off.

“Probably,” you hummed, tracing patterns in the dirt with your finger, the simple action somehoe fascinating your current state. “They have a sick sense of humor.”

His eyes flickered to you and watched as you clumsily attempted to sit up. “Hey, don’t move too much, you’re still bleeding.” He scolded, his tone a little firmer than before.

“I’m fine. Just a scratch.” You slurred, waving a dismissive hand at him, but the motion caused your vision to spin even more.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Your ‘scratch’ is making a pretty convincing argument for staying still.”

You smirked at him, dramatically clutching your side. “You’re not exactly looking peachy either, Fix-It Felix.” You retorted and stuck your tongue out slightly.

He snorted, trying to hide the flush that was creeping up to his neck. “Who even says ‘peachy’ anymore?”

“Shut up,” you snickered, the sound of your voice almost foreign to your ears. “I feel sick, dude.”

“I had no idea,” he muttered sardonically, but his voice was fond. He tried to sit up again, this time a little slower, his jaw clenching against the pain.

You watched him, your head tilted to the side. It was strange seeing him like this—vulnerable, worn down. Usually, he was the one with the jokes, the quick fix, and the endless energy. But now... now he looked like he was on the verge of collapse.

“Leo,” you began, but he interrupted you with a shake of his head.

“Don’t,” he said, his voice strained. “Don’t start with the sympathy. I’m fine.”

You frowned, and reached out a shaking hand towards him. “But you're not fine. Let me—”

He grabbed your wrist before you could even touch him, his grip surprisingly strong for someone who looked like they could barely hold themselves together. His eyes met yours, a mixture of frustration and something else you couldn’t seem to place. “Don’t, okay? Just... don’t.” He managed to say, his eyes narrowed slightly.

You blinked. “Leo...”

His grip on your wrist loosened, and he sighed, his expression softening. “Sorry, I just— I can’t believe we made it out of there. I honestly thought we were—" He cut himself off, looking away, his jaw clenching.

“Thought we were goners?” You finished for him, your voice light to mask the unease creeping up your spine. “You thought we were goners?”

“Yeah. I’m starting to think my body’s just giving up on me.” He admitted in a mutter.

“No,” you said firmly, and sat upright, despite the dizzines that followed. You ignored his protests and shuffled closer, a glint of determination in your bleary eyes. “You’re too stubborn for that, remember?” You reminded with a cheeky grin, resting a weary arm atop his shoulder.

He laughed breathily. “Right, because stubbornness fixes everything.”

You poked his arm, hard enough to which he winced. “It’s worked so far, hasn’t it?”

Leo looked at you, really looked at you, and for a moment, the world seemed to pause. The tension, the pain, the exhaustion—they melted away, leaving just the two of you in this strange, quiet bubble.

“Yeah,” he murmured, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It has.”

Your smirk formed into a full-blown grin, leaning your shoulder against his. “See? We’re invincible.”

“More like idiots who don’t know when to quit.” He teased, but there was warmth in his voice, a softness that made your heart do an odd little flip.

A noncommittal noise escaped your lips, your eyes closed to emphasize your mock-ignorance. “Can’t we be both?”

He chuckled. "Sure, why not?”

For a while, neither of you spoke, content to just sit there in each other's company, the world fading into the background. The pain was still there, but it felt more distant now, like it was something that belonged to someone else.

After what felt like hours, Leo finally broke the silence, his voice quiet. “You know...” He trailed off, his eyes glancing toward you. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Are you getting sappy on me Valdez?”

“Shut up, I’m being serious.”

“I know, I’m just shitting on you,” You replied softly. You reached out, this time more slowly, and placed a hand on his knee. He didn’t pull away, just watched you with those tired, yet somehow still bright eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay too. And that’s not the wine talking.”

He smiled, a genuine smile that made your heart flutter in a way that had nothing to do with the lingering effects of your father’s wine.

“Maybe we should stop getting ourselves nearly killed.” He suggested playfully, tilting his head slightly closer to yours.

“Nah, where’s the fun in that?” You snorted.

Leo groaned and weakly pushed your face away. “You’re impossible.”

You shrugged and grinned cheekily, folding almost numb arms beneath your chest. “And yet you still put up with me.” You shot back, rolling your eyes.

He sighed deeply with mock-exhaustion, almost like he had no choice but to, and leaned his head back against the tree behind him. “Yeah, I do.”

Albeit, the way he said it made your heart skip a beat, and for a moment, you wondered if there was something more behind those words. But then he looked at you, and the familiar spark of mischief was back in his eyes.

“So,” he began. “About the peachy thing—”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” He challenged and shift closer to you, a grin spreading across his worn out face.

You huffed, but the corners of your mouth were fighting to lift upwards. “Maybe I will.”

He raised an eyebrow, gazing at you like no one had ever before. “Yeah? How?”

You tapped your chin, feigning a moment of reverie, then leaned in close. “By surviving the next mission together.”

Leo blinked, the playful glint in his eyes fading into something softer. He turned his head slightly just enough that you could see the tender expression on his face. “Deal,” he said softly, a faint tint of bright red spreading across his cheeks.

You nodded with a smile, and settled back against him, placing your elbow atop his shoulder. And for the first time forever—you allowed yourself to relax.

Maybe you were both idiots, too stubborn for your own good, but as long as you had each other, you figured you could survive anything.

Even if you were just friends for now.

[twizzyburger]

In the Woods

they seem nice...

part 2!

tags! ❦❀

midwestern horror au! cryptid! Ghost x F! reader

Startled awake by the cold winds and gentle drizzle brushing against your face, you bolt upright in your new home. The room, dimly lit, reveals an open window as you scan your surroundings. Hastening to it, you discover the broken lock allowing a gust of wind to seep through. With a resigned exhale, you attribute the damaged lock to the relentless force of last night's harsh winds. Yet, amidst the scene, a sight captures your attention – delicate petals strewn across the floor and adorning the windowsill.

Intrigued, you step closer to the window and gaze outside. Astonishingly, the tree near your window, once barren in your memory, now blooms with exquisite white flowers. Squinting, you attempt to reconcile this unexpected transformation with your recollection. Could weariness have clouded your perception the night before? The blossoms sway gently in the drizzle, standing out against the town's eerie darkness. Brushing off any remaining doubts, you dismiss the peculiar event as a figment of exhaustion, convincing yourself that you overlooked the blossoms in your tired state. Nevertheless, as you shut the window and observe the petals on the sill, a subtle unease lingers, hinting at hidden secrets within the town that unravel with each passing moment and the sensation of being watched by unseen eyes persisted.

Closing the windows with a gentle click, you mentally remind yourself to buy new locks soon. Glancing down, you notice you're still dressed in the worn clothes from yesterday. Gratefully seizing the chance to rid yourself of the discomfort, you opt for something fresh and clean. Ready to venture into the ambiguous town, you slip into your shoes, grab your house keys, and step outside.

The grey ambiance of the town welcomes you once more as you exit. Despite the early hour, a few houses flicker with dim lights, maintaining a hauntingly eerie atmosphere. The drizzle has stopped, leaving a subtle mist hanging in the air. Progressing towards the town center, you observe a gentle lightening in the sky. The heart of the town emerges, embellished with a few shops. The atmosphere, while still somber, appears to throb with a peculiar vitality compared to the quieter outskirts. Some early risers stroll along the streets, their appearances unremarkable and their demeanor kind. The tension from yesterday's unsettling events starts to fade away as you navigate the bustling center, the semblance of normalcy soothing your nerves. Despite its mysterious aura, the town seems to harbor a community of warm individuals, offering you a newfound sense of comfort amidst its peculiar environment.

After a day of exploring the little town and meeting its welcoming residents, you decide it's time to head home. The bag carrying the new window locks swings gently by your side as you walk back along the dimly lit streets. Noticing a subtle shift, you see warm lights glowing from more houses, creating a comforting atmosphere in the otherwise grey town. Yet, one house directly across from yours remains enveloped in darkness. Shrugging off this peculiarity, you carry on your way, though the familiar feeling of being watched subtly returns to your awareness.

Upon reaching your house, you take off your shoes and set down the bag of window locks on the table. In the kitchen, you lose yourself in the soothing routine of preparing dinner, the clinking of pots and pans offering a reassuring background melody. Just as you begin to relax into the familiarity of your surroundings, a knock breaks the silence of the house. Carefully, you approach the door and peek through the crack before opening it.

Standing in front of you is a kind-faced woman, appearing to be in her 50s or 60s, holding a tray of freshly baked cream puffs. Her warm smile and genuine demeanor immediately calm your nerves. Introducing herself as Lydia, your neighbor, she extends the cream puffs to you as a gesture of welcome to the community. Appreciative of her kindness, you invite her inside, the sweet aroma of pastries blending with the comforting scent of your new home.

Engaging in conversation with your kind neighbor, you learn more about the town's history and its tight-knit community. The lady is more than willing to share information, her eyes lighting up with every detail. However, when you tentatively mention your occasional unease within the town, a subtle change in her demeanor catches your attention. The warm glow in her eyes dims momentarily, and a tension settles over her. You notice a fleeting glance in the direction of the house across the street. Before you can press further, she skillfully sidesteps the question, redirecting the conversation with a genuine smile. Sensing her reluctance, you decide not to push, and she shifts the focus by asking about your origins, a subtle deflection that leaves you with a lingering curiosity about the mysteries veiled.

Lydia's soothing southern accent filled the quiet room as she began, "Well, honey," drawing you in with her comforting drawl. Curious, you leaned closer, eager to hear more. "Most folks in this town steer clear of that house. A tragic accident occurred there, and now, nobody knows who resides within its walls. I can't help but feel a chill just looking at it! However," she paused, a pensive expression flitting across her face,

"I could've sworn I glimpsed a man standing near the forest's edge on my way here."

The revelation sent a shiver down your spine, the weight of the untold story lingering in the air.

After a chat, Lydia bid farewell, her sweet southern charm and genuine warmth filling you with comfort. With a parting invitation, she cheerfully remarked, "Feel free to drop by anytime!" A heartfelt grin spread across your face as you shut the door, grateful for the kindness of your new neighbor. Returning to the kitchen, the lingering scent of cream puffs wafted in the air.

While gazing out the window towards the neighboring house, a shiver raced down your spine. In a brief moment, you could have sworn you glimpsed a shadowy figure moving in the dimly lit interior. The earlier unease resurfaced, compelling you to fixate on the enigmatic house, pondering if it harbored secrets beyond the sorrow Lydia hinted at. The once ordinary town now appeared like a tapestry woven with strands of mystery and ambiguity, igniting a mix of curiosity and wariness within you.

[darling-archeron]

time won't fly (it's like i'm paralyzed by it)

chapter four: until the night is over: loop seventeen

Summary: Every day, Rhysand wakes up next to Amarantha in her bed Under the Mountain. A prisoner, a weapon, a High Lord on a leash. He's been down there so long, it's starting to feel like time doesn't matter.

Until one day, it doesn't. Feyre's death sends Rhysand back in time, waking up on the same day - over and over. Now, Rhysand must discover how to break the time loop, save his mate, and keep his sanity intact.

A "round robin" style fanfiction with different authors. This work is meant to be read from beginning to end, but each chapter is written by a different author with their own spin on the time loop prompt.

Warnings: canon-typical sexual violence, canon-typical violence, temporary character death

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Word Count: 7.5k

Notes: Behold, my humble contribution to @feysand-hivemind's timeloop fic! Working on this story with all of you wonderful, talented people has been an absolute delight.

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Another failure, and Rhys was back where he had started.

Again, the dream. The wolf, the arrow, and Feyre, sharp hate in her eyes. And he was back in Amarantha’s bed.

The loops were starting to pile up. There had been far more variables, far more failures, than he had hoped. Would there be a limit to the number of second chances he was given?

Beside him, Amarantha stirred. He tensed, shifting his gaze over, but she only adjusted her head before falling still again. Her long red hair fanned out across the bed, brushing up against his shoulders. 

His sleep in Amarantha’s bed was almost always shit, so the good news was that he had plenty of time to think.

In nearly every loop so far, save the first one, he had tried to change Feyre’s path early on. The window between Feyre letting go of her hatred of faeries and beginning to trust Tamlin was practically non-existent. Either she didn’t trust him because he was a faerie, or because he was an enemy of the Spring Court and obviously sneaking around.

The first time, she had progressed the farthest – but exposing her to Amarantha’s ire, when she was still on edge, had been disastrous.

There had to be some kind of middle ground.

He loathed the idea of letting her go back Under the Mountain. He wouldn’t watch Amarantha break her again.

And yet – what if Feyre going Under the Mountain was the key? It was where they had, at least, gotten closest, with Feyre admitting her love for Tamlin, even if it had been too late.

The far easier option would have been to get her to admit her love for Tamlin sooner, before she even stepped foot in Amarantha’s court. But what if that wasn’t enough? His appearance at the Spring Court in the first loop hadn’t been enough to spur her on.

All he had were theories, the best of which had been strung together with hardly anything to hold them.

Clare Beddor – that was the name Feyre had given him in place of her own. Had he given that name to Amarantha and told her that Tamlin had brought a human to the Spring Court, he would have been spared in the first loop. Of course, that didn’t exactly solve anything, because Feyre still wouldn’t have.

Of course, that was assuming Amarantha found her under that alias. As long as she was in love with Tamlin, he doubted Amarantha cared what a human’s name was.

But what if Clare hadn’t been fictional? It was an unmistakably plain, human name, perhaps belonging to someone from wherever Feyre had once called home.

Even if it wasn’t, was it possible for him to orchestrate things so Amarantha’s ire fell on someone who wasn’t Feyre?

The makings of a plan began to take shape in his head.

It wasn’t a particularly honorable plan. It involved putting Feyre in danger, it involved at least one scapegoat. But he had already lost his – his Feyre too many times. And he knew, deep in his heart, that he would do whatever it took to keep it from happening again.

He knew by now that sleep would elude him the rest of the night. His mind was restless, but any moment of repose was strength.

There might not have been any more dreams ahead of him tonight, but Rhys lay awake and went through his usual ritual, picturing those he loved and wondering what they might be doing right now. Tonight, he dared to add one more name to the list.

I will not fail you, Feyre.

-

The previous times he had felt the call to seek her out on Calanmai, he ignored it. This time, however, it would be necessary.

And Rhys couldn’t deny that he felt a little thrill at the idea of seeing her again.

It was a perfect spring evening. The air was cool and fresh on his face – something he never took for granted anymore. He didn’t know how Amarantha could stand to spend most of her time Under the Mountain, choking on the same stale air year after year.

Cloaked in shadows on the edge of the tree line, Rhys observed the nearby figures, only illuminated by firelight. The drums had been beating for hours now – it wouldn’t be much longer before they reached their peak, and Tamlin would select his maiden. He bit down a wave of revulsion at the thought of Feyre being selected for such a ritual.

Luckily, if her thoughts from the previous loops were any indication, it wouldn’t come to that.

Not far from where Rhys stood, there was a group of half a dozen male lesser faeries. Loud, bawdy, and vulgar. After a moment of combing through their minds, Rhys saw that their thoughts were equally foul.

He selected the worst three, and then planted the seed of an idea in their heads.

Go and see what kind of trouble we can find. Plenty of fresh meat on a night like tonight.

As the minutes crept on, the pulling sensation in his chest drew tighter, and he scanned the firelit crowds for the shape of his painter.

Where are you? Come, find me. Go see Calanmai, he urged, even if she wouldn’t hear.

At last, he caught a glimpse of her weaving through the crowd, alone.

Any other time, he would have been angry that Tamlin didn’t have any protections on her. Wandering alone on a wild night like this only meant trouble for a human woman.

However, in this situation, it played right into his plans.

Feyre wandered through the crowd, likely searching for Tamlin or Lucien. Slowly, she wandered away from the throng, closer to his edge of the woods.

Closer to where he had led the males.

He watched from afar as they approached Feyre, nearly cornering her. One of them leaned in much too close –

And Rhys winnowed, right behind Feyre, catching her as she stumbled back on a piece of loose rock.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

-

The first meeting on Calanmai set things into motion. Though he had longed to linger, he had kept things brief, not getting as much as her name out of her.

She had thought he was the most beautiful male she had ever seen.

Why did the knowledge bring him such pleasure?

The name of the game was to still appear intimidating and a bit frightening, but not so much that he couldn’t be trusted. He couldn’t let the mask drop the way he longed to, but it was better than nothing.

He hadn’t been able to avoid taking the head, branded with the Night Court sigil, to the Spring Court a few weeks later. If he spared the faerie Amarantha had initially chosen, she would just pick another. However, he was able to put it somewhere else when he delivered it.

It was simple enough. He winnowed to the Spring Court and immediately sought out Feyre’s room. He could sense her even without having her in his sights, still fast asleep in the time just before dawn.

He cast his magic towards her, dragging her subconscious into a slightly heavier sleep. She would sleep halfway to noon, but that would give Tamlin plenty of time to deal with his little gift – and even if he didn’t, she would be far less likely to see it in the smaller garden where he left it, spiked on the ornamental fence.

He saved Feyre from the horror, but Amarantha expressed her displeasure that he had picked somewhere too subtle.

Her nails were sharp on his bare shoulders, tendrils of red hair brushing his neck as she loomed above him.

“What happened to your sense of theatrics, Rhysand?” she crooned. “Perhaps I need to put on another show, to give you some more inspiration to work with.”

Encased in the ring on her finger, Jurian’s eyeball spun. If the male was still in there somewhere, at least one of them could be panicked about the situation.

“If you wish it, my queen,” he crooned.

Whatever he could do to satisfy her nearly unabating thirst for violence before Feyre arrived.

-

Weeks passed, and Rhys spent hours trying to find another way back to the Spring Court. Every little interaction he had with Feyre before she came Under the Mountain could be crucial to their success.

Unfortunately, Amarantha’s paranoia only stretched so far.

“Why so eager to go back to the Spring Court, Rhysand?” Amarantha mused one night, when he had again suggested it. “One might think you’re hiding something there.”

He forced himself to stay calm, to continue rubbing her shoulders to relieve the tension from them.

“Only eager to see Tamlin flounder, my queen. You must admit, his attempts to break the curse have been laughable.”

“Which is why I’m hardly worried now. You serve me here, Rhysand.”

For not the first time, Rhys wished the bed would open up and swallow him.

-         

In the days leading up to the curse’s deadline, Amarantha finally loosened his leash as she had in the first loop. He knew the terrible things he would have to do in the days to come, but he also couldn’t deny his excitement at seeing Feyre again. Other than the day he had left the head spiked for Tamlin, he hadn’t so much as glimpsed her.

The bustle and brightness of spring greeted him as he winnowed onto the front lawn. Even with a fraction of its denizens, the manor was busy, as always.

Last time, the way things had unfolded was accidental. This time, he needed to keep this part as close to how it had first happened as possible.

He let scraps of his power wash out before him, alerting the whole manor of his presence, strolling into the dining room that only appeared to hold Tamlin and Lucien.

This time, he immediately noticed the third plate betraying her presence. He swore he could sense her, too. How had he been so oblivious the first time around?

He let the same words as before spill from his lips, as if he was acting out one of the plays Mor loved to watch at the Velaris theatre. Taunting Tamlin and Lucien, pretending to be surprised when he let his gaze land on the third plate.

When Tamlin’s glamour fell from around her, he had to hold back his sigh of relief. She was still safe and whole – lovely, with the midday sun at her back, bringing out the gold in her hair.

“I remember you,” he said softly. “It seems like you ignored my warning to stay out of trouble.”

It was all he could do to keep up the familiar song and dance with Tamlin and Lucien. The urge to reach for her, make sure there wasn’t a single mark on her, was stronger than ever.

Instead, he reached for her mind, seizing it between his mental hands. As he traced his finger across her collarbones, her throat, he felt her fear.

“Don’t be afraid, darling,” he whispered into her mind.

“Don’t – “ Feyre ground out, too afraid to say much more.

One day, I swear, I will make it up to you, Feyre.

He flipped through her mind – and curiously, found no memories of her being intimate with Tamlin. Only memories of Tamlin biting into her neck on Calanmai – only hours after he had first met her.

“Amarantha will enjoy breaking her,” he said, letting his cruel words settle over the room. “Almost as much as she’ll enjoy watching how you anguish over it.”

He was aware of Feyre’s growing apprehension as he threatened Tamlin, and he almost reached back into her mind, to whisper something more soothing to her, but he stopped himself just in time. 

Not here. Not now, when there were so many variables still at play.

Tamlin shoved at him, but he sidestepped easily.

“Not now, Tamlin. I’d hate for the lady to see you become a smear upon the floor.”

Tamlin fumed, but Rhys finally had an excuse to turn his attention wholly back to Feyre.

“What’s your name, love?”

He felt her hesitation – felt the lie in her mind before it formed on her tongue.

“Clare Beddor,” she gasped.

Rhys smirked. “I’ll be sure to give Amarantha your regards – all of your regards.”    

-

When Amarantha summoned him to the throne room for a full report, it was all too easy to tell the truth. To give her Clare’s name.

Anything for Feyre.

Now all that remained was to wait and see if his gambit paid off.

-

Two days later, and the Attor dragged poor Clare, kicking and screaming, Under the Mountain.

As he had expected, Amarantha made a game of pulling pain from her like notes from a violin. He stood there and watched, the same bored smirk on his face.

He went into her mind, took away her pain as easily as snuffing out a candle.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Clare. I know you didn’t deserve it, didn’t ask for any of this.”

“Please, just end this,” she begged, unaware or uncaring of who she was speaking to.

He hated himself a little bit more as he didn’t reply. For Feyre to be safest, Amarantha’s bloodlust had to be fully spent.

“I don’t have that power, but your pain is gone. Scream when she expects you to.”

Over the next few days, Rhys remained at Amarantha’s side, watching as she tormented Clare. Perhaps because he was a glutton for punishment, he delved into her mind to get a glimpse of the person whose life he was destroying.

She was a simple village girl. Kind, gentle, she loved teasing her younger brothers and caring for her family’s animals. She hated the taste of oatmeal, and shunned the Children of the Blessed when they came to town.

The days wore on, and finally, Rhys couldn’t take it anymore. He reached back into Clare’s mind and ended it, once and for all.   

-

All too soon, the doors to Amarantha’s throne room swung open again as the Attor dragged another human girl through its doors, throwing her on the ground before Amarantha’s throne.

Rhys felt the pain in her knees as they hit the marble, so sharply it might have been his own. He did his best to steady his breathing. If anyone sensed how quickly his heart was beating, he would be fucked. 

He had to focus. Amarantha couldn’t know that a single thing was amiss this time around.

“What’s this?” The False Queen asked, leaning forward in her throne.

“Just a human thing I found downstairs,” the Attor hissed, leering at Feyre, and Rhys fought the urge to mist the wretched creature then and there. “Tell her Majesty why you were sneaking around the catacombs – why you came out of the old cave that leads to the Spring Court.”

He watched as Feyre proclaimed her love for Tamlin in front of all seven courts, bargaining for his freedom. She practically beseeched him to say something, but he didn’t so much as nod. Only sitting there as still and unfeeling as his stone heart.

“Give me a single reason I shouldn’t destroy you where you stand, human.”

“You tricked Tamlin. He is bound unfairly.”

Amarantha prattled on, enjoying the sound of her own voice. Rhys would have blocked it out entirely if Feyre’s safety didn’t entirely depend on Amarantha’s words. What would come next was the one part he had truly been unable to predict.

After all these years, Rhys understood how Amarantha worked well. If he had gambled right, she would offer to a game with Feyre, string her along for a bit while dangling Tamlin in front of her like a carrot. Not an optimal outcome, but it would give him time to better understand Feyre’s purpose on this path. From there, he could formulate the rest of his plan.

After she had just torn Clare apart, doing the same to Feyre would be boring, predictable. All things The Deceiver despised.

“I should have listened when darling Clare said she’d never seen Tamlin before, or hunted a day in her life. Though her screaming was certainly delightful. I haven’t heard such lovely music in ages. I should thank you for giving Rhysand her name instead of yours,” she crooned.

Though he stood in the shadows, off to the side of Amarantha’s throne rather than directly beside it, he felt the eyes of the court turn to him. Feyre didn’t spare him a glance, her eyes locked on Clare’s mangled body, but he could feel the horror radiating off of her.

He had known Clare’s death would complicate things. But seeing Clare through Feyre’s comparatively innocent, human eyes – the weight of his crime crashed down fully upon him.

Another sin added to the list of reasons he would burn in hell.

Amarantha verbally toyed with Feyre for a bit longer, enough that Rhys’s dread grew as he started to wonder if he had gambled wrong.

But then she spoke the words he had been praying for.

“I’ll make a bargain with you, human.”

He saw Feyre stiffen – and he was far from relaxing, either.

“You swear you love Tamlin?”

“With my whole heart,” Feyre insisted, her voice heavy with conviction.

“Well then. Proving your devotion should be easy. You complete three tasks of my choosing – three little tasks to prove how deep that human sense of loyalty and love runs, and Tamlin is yours. Just three little challenges to prove your dedication, that your kind can indeed love true, and you can have your High Lord.”

She turned to Tamlin, spouting more nonsense about fickle human hearts. Rhysand’s mind was already racing.

Three tasks – they could be anything, with so many variables. How would Amarantha see fit to make a human prove her love?

Amarantha went on to list conditions, stipulations, throwing a riddle into the mix.

That made him relax a bit. Amarantha had never been as clever as she gave herself credit for. Even if she forbade everyone from giving Feyre hints, it couldn’t be too difficult.

“So – are we agreed?” Amarantha said at last.

Feyre glanced across the throne room once more, eyes locking on Tamlin, who still hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Agreed,” Feyre said.

Cauldron, please, tell me I haven’t just subjected her to a fate worse than Clare’s. 

And with Feyre’s words and a swing of the Attor’s clawed arm, ripping into her skin, her fate was sealed, and Rhys’s along with it.

-

Rhys did his best to monitor Feyre from a distance. She had appeared alright when Amarantha gave her the riddle shortly after her arrival. He knew Lucien had already been to see her and patched up her injuries from the Attor’s beating, but it wasn’t enough. He had to see how she was faring and start getting her to trust him.

Also, a selfish part of him admitted, he hated to be so far from her when she was at last within his reach.

Amarantha had given her one of the worst cells in the dungeons, which was truly saying something. It was foul smelling and damp, and perfectly situated so that the screams and groans of the other prisoners angled themselves into the cell.

When he winnowed inside, she looked so small, curled up on a palette of foul-smelling hay that threatened to make his nose start running. At least she had a cloak to keep her warm. She hadn’t arrived with it – Lucien’s, if he had to guess.

At first, he thought she might have been asleep, but she shot up, eyes flying to where he stood in the corner of her cell.

“Hello, darling,” he crooned, stuffing his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t have to hide his tense fists.

“What do you want?” she hissed, blue-gray eyes narrowed.

Good – the fire hadn’t gone from her yet.

“I’m only checking in on my favorite human. How are you faring?”

Her eyes narrowed. “What kind of question is that?”

“An honest one.”

“I’m fine,” she said, scowling in a way that reminded him of Mor when she was irritated.

“Is that so? Because your situation would imply otherwise.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she shot back.

“I mean you’ve come to claim Tamlin, without the faintest idea of what you’re getting yourself into.”

“You’re just saying that to get into my head.” Her voice was steely, but he saw a shiver shoot through her. Not just from the cold, although that was likely part of it.  

“I assure you, I only have your best interests at heart. And, just between the two of us, I’m happy to extend my assistance in any way I can.”

A dangerous, dangerous thing for him to say.

Feyre raised her eyebrows. “You want to help me? You’re Amarantha’s – her lackey.”

“That’s what everyone thinks,” Rhys admitted. “But have you never considered that I might have my own agenda?”

“Well, I don’t want any part of it,” Feyre spat.

Internally, Rhys grimaced. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with her today.

With a wave of his hand, he summoned a blanket he had stashed in a pocket realm earlier. It wasn’t anything particularly nice, and there was a hole worn through in the middle. One of the nobles’ discarded rags.

“Think on it,” he said, tossing the blanket towards her, and winnowing back out of the cell before she could reply.

-

A few more long days went by, and Rhys could barely stand the thought of Feyre alone in her freezing cell. He slept on silk sheets and ate some of Prythian’s finest food every evening. Not only that, but her first trial was rapidly approaching, and he had made almost no progress in gaining her trust. He hadn’t been back to visit her, but he had checked in on her thoughts a handful of times. They ranged from bored, to angry, to fearful. She was pondering the riddle but hadn’t come closer to the right answer.

Six days after his initial visit, he convinced himself that he had waited long enough. It was midday, and Amarantha was sound asleep. She had dismissed him after he had serviced her – a rare mercy. It also gave him the perfect window of opportunity to visit his painter again.

“Go to hell, Rhysand,” she said, sounding bored when he appeared.

“What – no Rhysand, apple of all eyes, or Rhysand, all my waking moments are consumed with thoughts of you?” he purred.

She glared at him - a sight that was becoming quite familiar. “What do you want now?”

“The same thing I wanted to do last time. To see how you’re faring down here, Feyre.”

“How the fuck would you be faring, in my shoes?” she spat.

“You’ll find you have no idea what my shoes are like,” he shot back. Cauldron, what was it about this woman that set him ablaze so quickly?

“How is Tamlin?” she finally asked.

“The High Lord of Spring is doing perfectly fine, as far as I can tell. Amarantha has been dragging him around like a puppy, but he hasn’t so much as budged.” He said truthfully.

That seemed to bring her some satisfaction. “Good,” was all she said.

“Does it bother you? That he hasn’t been down here to see you?” he said the question in his same coy, teasing tone, but he longed to know the answer.

“What does it matter to you?”

“Feyre, please. I – I can’t lose you again.” He blurted it out before he even realized what he was saying. But it certainly got her attention.

Fuck, this was really starting to wear on him. In his desperation to monitor Feyre at every hour, he had barely been getting any sleep.

“What?” That got her attention, and she turned to him at last. A crease formed between her brows, trepidation in her eyes.

How much could he tell her without obliterating any chance of earning her trust? With his powers stolen, he didn’t dare to go in her mind and wipe away the thought. As much as he hated to admit it, he was out of practice on human minds, and he certainly wouldn’t be testing his theories on his painter.  

But if he played it right – perhaps having her know could prove advantageous. He just had to make sure he didn’t sound insane.

Feyre was still waiting for his reply.

In the quiet, he used his magic to feel for any listening ears. Years of intuitively knowing when Azriel was nearby had honed his senses well.

“What do you think my goal is, here?”

Feyre frowned. “That’s not an answer.”

“Just tell me.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I assume to save your own skin and piss Tamlin off however you can.”

Well, her assumptions could have been much worse.

“Feyre, I need you to listen to what I’m about to say, and not make any assumptions or jump to conclusions until I’m done.”

“Why should I trust you?” She spat. 

“Have I done anything to cause you harm thus far?”

“No, but-“

He cut her off, knowing he would never get a word in edgewise over his painter if he didn’t.

“I have been Amarantha’s lackey under this Mountain for forty-nine years. Most of them have been long, the same things happening year after year. But months ago, something changed. I had a dream.”

Skepticism danced across her face.

“I dreamed of a young woman, drawing her bow in a snowy forest. Aiming at a deer first, and then a wolf, which she shot with remarkable precision. It left me with a strange feeling in my chest, but I cast it aside, convinced it was only an exceptionally clear dream. But the feeling didn’t go away. On Calanmai, I felt a strange inclination to visit the Spring Court. Another unusual feeling – I’ve made a point to avoid that court and the sycophants that live there for years. So I ignored the pull. I barely believed you were real, much less human, until I saw you for the first time, in the dining room with Tamlin and Lucien when I interrupted your dinner.

“That’s not –“

He kept going, or he knew he would never finish. It was best to keep this part succinct anyway. “By then, Tamlin’s time was almost up. He sent you away to protect you, but you came back, came Under the Mountain, just as you did now. But your timing was poor, in a way you had no control over, and Amarantha was angry, and I tried to protect you from her wrath, but – things didn’t end well. We both died, and I was prepared to meet the Mother.”

“And then….I had the same dream, of you killing the wolf. And I woke up the same way I had the time before, and I watched the same events unfold before my eyes, only changed by my interference. Not just once. Over and over. You always killed the wolf, you always came to Prythian and fell for Tamlin. And eventually, I realized that I’m stuck in some kind of loop, reliving the same events over and over again.”

“You’re insane,” Feyre breathed, taking a step back.

No, no, no. He couldn’t let this go poorly.

“Let me prove it to you,” he said, extending his hand. “Mind to mind.”

“I’m not letting you in my mind again,” she said, taking another step back. “I felt you, back in the dining room in the Spring Court. Tamlin has told me plenty about you, you know. I’m not a fool.”

He took a step towards her, bridging the space between them. Even as both of their lives hung on the line, something was electrifying about arguing with her like this. It made him feel more alive than he had in a long time. He could admire her stubbornness, even as it worked against him.

“And what has Tamlin told you?” he asked softly.

“That you’re responsible for terrible things.”

“And you believe everything Tamlin tells you? Even when he concealed this whole mess from you?”

“That was part of the curse. He couldn’t help it.”

“Couldn’t he?” Rhys raised an eyebrow.

Feyre dropped his gaze at last, falling silent.

“I swear to you, on the Mother that I will not harm you. Nor will I enter your mind again without permission.”

He watched her consider for a long moment, fingers fidgeting at her sides in an attempt to appear unruffled.

“Fine.”

She didn’t hide her scowl as she held out her hand, and Rhys considered telling her that he didn’t need physical connection to initiate it, but refrained. This was, after all, the first time she had willingly let him touch her.

He took her callused hand in his – though his was much too smooth, after all these years away from weapons that had once been like an extension of his arm.

For a brief moment, he considered showing her Velaris, snippets of his happy memories. If things went awry, he could always start the loop over again. But even that felt too risky. He couldn’t divulge it.

Instead, he did what he had promised and entered her mind. Gently, like walking through a forest in autumn and trying to avoid snapping a stick.

“See? Not so bad, is it?”

“Can we get this over with?”

He caught brief glimpses of her thoughts. Wondering if he was insane, wondering if she was insane for letting such a mentally unstable individual near her.

A strong sense of curiosity, too.

Good. That meant that not all was lost.

He showed her his memories of the first time he had watched her shoot the wolf, and their meeting in the dining room, and standing before Amarantha. He skipped over their deaths – that was the last thing he wanted to show her. Instead, he skipped ahead through other loops, showing their interactions or things he had watched her do.

Selfishly, he tried to pick the ones that painted him in a more flattering light.

After he had sifted through all the half-decent memories from previous loops, he switched gears. She needed to see more of him to trust him, and Velaris was too risky. But there were other things he could show.

He sent memories of him drinking with Mor, sitting at a desk next to Amren, piles of documents surrounding them both. Flying with Cassian and Azriel.

He could feel her jolt of surprise at the last one, at the revelation of his wings.

How peculiar, for that to be the thing she found most shocking.

At last, the memories ended. He could have sifted through her thoughts some more to find out what Feyre was thinking, but he found himself wanting to hear her voice her thoughts on her own.

She was staring at him in stunned silence as she pulled her hand away from his.

“Well?” Rhys promoted. “I’m sure it’s a lot to take in.”

She took a few steps backward, dropping back on the pallet, eyes wide.

“So you and I are all just players in this sick game? No – I’m not even a player. I’m a pawn.”

“Feyre –“ he tried to interject.

“If we fail, you’re the one that has to do this all over again. I – this version of myself, and everything I’ve gone through – I don’t even die. I just cease to exist.”

Rhys thought he might have preferred being in her position to reliving the same months over and over, but he kept that thought silent.

“It’s not fair. But – we’ve never done it like this before. We have to believe that this time, we’ll make it through.”

“How many times have you said that to me?”

“Never,” Rhys admitted. “I’ve never told you that we’re in a loop before.”

At that, the tiniest sliver of amusement appeared on her face.

“Well, that would explain why you did such a piss-poor job of it.”

“But you believe me?”

She exhaled, letting out a huff of air. “Unless you have some insane strategy, I don’t know why you would be making it up.”

“I meant everything I said earlier,” he finally said.

This was so, so far off the course of his original plan.

“We have never worked together before. If we do, I believe we can get out of here.”

What came after that, he truly had no clue.

“What about those other memories, Rhysand?” she asked. “The ones that weren’t part of the loop? Were those just to make yourself look good?”

“Would you think worse of me if I said yes? I won’t lie, I’ve done some monstrous things. But they have all been in the name of keeping my people, my family, safe.”

That seemed to resonate with something deep in her, and he watched as she seemed to mentally to go some far-off place for a moment.

“And Clare?” she murmured.

He offered up another bit of truth. “It was her or you.”

A grim line of determination creased on her forehead, and Feyre was silent for a long, long moment. Rhys again had to stop himself from instinctually reaching into her mind to see what she was thinking.

“Alright,” Feyre said at last. “What’s your plan?”

Rhys could have fallen to his knees before her at the relief he felt.

“You go through the trials like nothing has changed, you’re still fighting for Tamlin’s love. I swear that I will be beside you every step of the way, keeping Amarantha’s attention off of you as much as I can. And for the love of the Mother, think on the riddle she gave you.” He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt.

“What about the trials? Do you know anything about those?”

He shook his head. Amarantha had been tight-lipped about whatever she had in store for “the puny human.”

The sound of footsteps drawing near to Feyre’s cell drew his focus. “We don’t have much more time.”

“I have so many more questions.”

“Next time we get a spare moment, I’ll answer them,” he promised, scanning her up and down as if signs of the truth between them could be seen on her.  

Before Feyre could respond, the door swung open, revealing the red-skinned, pot-bellied guards that escorted her everywhere. They tossed in a stale-looking piece of bread and a bruised, mushy apple.

It simply wouldn’t do.

Reaching into their minds was as easy as cutting through butter.

“No more of this slop. From now on, you’re to bring her a fresh, hot meal from the kitchens twice a day. Tell the others, and the kitchen staff, too. Stay out of her cell, and don’t touch her. If you do, you’re to take your own daggers and gut yourselves. Understood?”

Feyre straightened, staring at him with a mix of emotions he couldn’t entirely decipher – but Cauldron, how he wanted to.

“You’re welcome,” he purred instead. Her surprised eyes were the last thing he saw before he winnowed away again.

-

Rhys could scarcely believe how well things had been going.

Of course, if you considered his painter trapped Under the Mountain by a murdering psychopath “going well.”

If he had thought Feyre consumed his thoughts before, he had been wrong. Having her in such a close proximity, not loathing him, felt like a fantasy.

Rhys did his best to make good on his promise. Each day, he made a point to send a hot meal to her cell. He was getting the sense that Feyre’s first trial would be some kind of physical test, and she had to keep her strength up. He installed wards that muffled the sounds of the screams that tore through the walls to Feyre’s cell at all hours.

In his free seconds, he found excuses to sneak back down to the dungeons under the guise of emotionally tormenting Feyre.

In reality, he was doing his best to satisfy her insatiable curiosity. She did her best to act nonchalant, but Rhys recognized the curiosity, the stubbornness, behind the mask. He knew it because the same traits were reflected in him.

Talking with her was a…disarming experience. She had seen him without the mask he had worn for so long. She saw the desperation that lay underneath without him having to voice it. It only made him question more why the Cauldron had shoved them together into this wretched situation.

“A question for a question,” he finally said one night, after she pressed him for more information on the Night Court. “You’re learning all of my secrets, but I can’t say the same. I’ll answer one of yours if you answer one of mine.”

Pure selfishness, on his part. He couldn’t help it.

She raised her eyebrows. “What about me could possibly interest you, Rhysand?”

“Rhys,” he corrected automatically. “And I think you’re drastically underselling yourself, darling.”

She shifted uncomfortably on the hay pallet. Even after everything he told her, she was still fiercely protective of her secrets; especially the human family she had left behind.

“Fine.”

“You said you’ve seen this over and over again. How do they end? Is it always with me dying?””

“Not always,” Rhys replied honestly. “Sometimes I go first.”

That set her mouth in a grim line.

“I know you like to paint,” he said. “Why?”

She gave him a funny look. “I always enjoyed it, even as a child. My mother hated that out of all the talents that were suitable for a young lady, I had an affinity for the one that was as messy and wild as I was. And when things changed and my family lost our fortune, painting became a rare luxury. A bit of color in my dreary life, I guess.”

When they weren’t asking questions, Rhys prepped her about the different trials Amarantha might have in store. The first one was less than a week away, and he was still in the dark about it. It could have been some kind of duel, or puzzle, or perhaps an archery test. Amarantha had remained impossibly tight-lipped about it.

Whatever it was, Rhys knew Feyre would prevail. The hours he had spent in her cell, getting to know her, had only strengthened his opinion on that. And if for any reason, she stumbled, he would be there to pick her back up.

They had each other now, and this strange, tentative trust. They would not fail.

-

At last, the day of Feyre’s first trial was upon them.

The day prior, Amarantha had her lackeys bring in some sort of muddy labyrinth, hauled up from the catacombs somehow and reassembled in a giant pit. And in the early morning hours, when Rhys gazed upon the completed project, he knew what awaited Feyre in a few hours.

“Feyre – I know what your first trial is. She’s going to have you outrun and hunt the Middengard Wyrm.” 

He was at a loss for how to describe the wretched creature, so instead, he sent an image of it into Feyre’s mind, well aware of how terrifying the creature was.

He felt the tide of horror rise up in her mind.

“She wants me to kill that thing?”

“Yes – but Feyre, the Middengard has weaknesses. It’s blind, and it relies on smell. It knows its lair like nothing else, but if you can disrupt it, you’ll throw it off. I’ll be a second pair of eyes for you, too. Don’t worry.”

“Easy for you to say,” she responded, voice shaky.

Oh, she had no idea how not easy all of this was.

Later in the morning, he found himself back in Amarantha’s bedchambers, where she sat at her vanity and brushed out her long hair, her back to him. 

“Rhysand,” she mused as he came in. “You haven’t gotten anything else interesting out of the human, have you?”

“No, my queen. It seems she truly loves Tamlin. She believes with all her heart that she’ll be able to free him.”

The Deceiver scoffed. “And you haven’t noticed anyone helping her? Nobody developing any attachments.”

“Not at all.”

Her smile, slippery as a snake, curled upwards in the mirror’s reflection.

“Very good.”  

-

An hour later, Amarantha’s court had gathered around the pit that held the Middengard’s lair, waiting for Feyre’s entrance.

In a typical move for her, Amarantha had her throne moved into here so she could preside over the festivities above everyone else. A smaller chair had been brought in for Tamlin, who sat beside her.

That was another merciful thing about Feyre and Tamlin’s presence down here. It saved him from having to be at Amarantha’s right hand as often.

Feyre was brought in, escorted by her usual guards, and Rhys was again struck by how small she looked. But she held her head high, chin jutted out in defiance.

“So, dear Feyre, are you ready for your first trial?” Amarantha crooned. She looked especially bloodthirsty today, dressed in a long-sleeved black gown. There was a glint in her eyes that Rhys didn’t like.

In response to Amarantha, Feyre nodded.

“Well, I have been ready too,” Amarantha continued. “I’ve been excited to see how you’ll fare against the little surprise I have for you. But I suppose it won’t be much of a surprise, will it?” Her tone turned icy.

What?

“Imagine my shock, Amarantha said, “When someone came to me this morning with a full report. Telling me that someone’s been helping you the past few weeks. Fresh meals, warm blankets. Information.”

No, no no –

Who had betrayed him? He had been so careful.

He raked through his past interactions, doing his best to keep his face a blank mask, only cocking an eyebrow.

Amarantha’s hawkish gaze whipped around to him.

“Rhysand,” she hissed. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Gasps of shock and rapid whispering went up around the room.

“I don’t know what you're referring to, my queen,” Rhys replied smoothly. He wasn't afraid for himself - only Feyre. He had withstood Amarantha’s wrath many times before, and he would do it again.

“Liar,” she hissed, and before Rhys knew what was happening, a wall of force hit him, sending him crashing to his knees. 

No, not again -

He struggled to bring himself to his knees before another wave of her stolen power hit him, sending him back to the floor.

The throng of people that had been near him scurried out of the way.

“You’ve been helping her. Giving her comforts, preparing her for the trials.” 

Her questioning earlier had been a test.

“No!” A voice shouted from the other side of the room - Feyre’s. “He hasn't been helping me. You're wrong.”

Her attempt to spare him was touching, but Rhys knew it was too late for them. And it only turned Amarantha’s attention back to his painter. 

Tamlin seemed to finally remember that he could speak. “Amarantha, no. You can’t harm her, you made a bargain with her.”

Amarantha laughed – a horrible, high-pitched sound, and Rhys felt the pit of dread growing in his stomach. There had to be some way to salvage this. They had come so far.

“You’re finally defending her? When she only has eyes for Rhysand, of all people? The bargain is only upheld if the human’s heart is still set on you, Tamlin. And there is nothing in our agreement that stops me from tearing her apart whenever I please.”

Rhys stopped caring about Tamlin and whatever pathetic, useless pleas he had when Amarantha extended a clawed nail towards his painter. 

Her hand flicked, and Rhys watched, still crushed on the ground, as Feyre joined him on the unforgiving floor with a scream.

He knew this was the end. 

“You should apologize to me, human. I offered you a chance, I arranged this entire trial, just for you. And yet you refuse to play fairly.”

Her limbs twisted, going in directions that made him nauseous. 

His body was on fire, but he reached for Feyre’s mind.

 “Feyre,” he rasped, unintentionally saying it out loud, too. 

“Rhys, are you there?” Feyre asked.

He sent out a wave of comfort, as much as he could manage as he fought through the fog of his own. “I’m sorry Feyre, I wanted this to go differently.”

“If she spares you somehow – don’t let her find my family.”

He knew she wouldn’t, and the moment Feyre’s heart stopped beating, it wouldn’t matter anyway, but he didn’t say that.

“I won’t let her find them.”

“I guess you’ll see me in the next loop,” she said, sounding strained under the wave of pain, making her thrash and scream through gritted teeth.

He heard the snap, snap, snap, of her bones, and reached for her mind, to take away the pain as he had done before.

SNAP

A roar of pain coming from Feyre’s mind, and then, silence.

Amarantha had underestimated the durability of humans in her rage.

And this –

All of this – had been for nothing.

He had tried so hard to plan things out, to do it differently this time, and it was all for nothing.

Searing pain sliced through his body once more as he shifted, his gaze meeting Amarantha’s. She had stood from the throne, face twisted into a snarl above him. 

“Traitorous filth. After all these years, you try to deceive me?”

“I hope you burn in hell,” Rhysand spat with the remainder of his energy.

Her sneering face was the last thing he saw before the world dropped away into darkness.