#hate to kill a dilf 😔

[littleforestbat]

finished jedi survivor I . Sad

[beiasluv]

f1 tropes that I daydream about

a/n: yes, i have d.l.s (dilf lover syndrome)

— dilf!jenson crushing on a younger reader. keeping things appropriate when he’s ripping his skin off inside. reader being this cheeky gal, playing innocent just to push his buttons. (wink) jokes aside, I just know that the tension is pregnant in the air. imagining wearing a dress he loves to a house party, he just needs to whip you out to a bathroom.

— princess treatment everyday from mr. button himself. hands on your waist, rubbing it in circles, keeping your skirt from rolling too high (in public) ‘darling’ just feels to wrong yet so right.

— teenage dirtbag!jenson going to frat parties and ended up crashing at your place. trying to be civilized and give him a proper treatment. while unbuttoning his shirt, he got it the wrong way (very much to your liking- and y’know what happens next 😉)

— dilf jenson, finding his pregnant reader and his dogs cuddling together. (I hate pregnancy trope but gah daium)

— rbr!sebastian being this meanie he always is, treating everyone like a fucking dick except reader. (or it could go another way that he treats reader like a fucking dick until tension explodes and they found themself in a compromising 😉 situation at a party, drunk and intoxicated. room screaming of sex.) long run is, reader felt like a fucking piece of meat, seb running after her to prove her wrong. princess treatment, darling, spoiling, you name it.

— your favorite german brat, being all slutty and flirty to his grid boyfriend (button/jenson) and you get jealous, pulling him for a heated kiss in the cool down room. seb just grinning to the kiss, tugging your hair harder.

— rbr!seb being all obsessed with his younger assistant/manager, can’t take her seriously for fuck’s sake. smiling like a fucking idiot even when she’s mad at him, so she just kiss him stupid to get him into his senses.

— sugardaddy!mark 😔🤭 he’s just your dumb himbo/dilf paying for your attention/happiness (fuck you to who ever say money can’t buy happiness) you got him wrapped around your fingers, girlbossing him all you want. (and he’s happy with it) until you fiddled too much with his patience (in a good way) he finally thinks he has to teach you some lessons and proves who actually wears the pants. 😉

— dilf!webber visiting your family’s house for a bbq. being the aussie he is, got assigned to take care of the grill, while you walk around in your promiscuous little dress. killing him in every way known to man.

— carlos sainz and innocent kink is my favorite McCombo. being a simp for you with his big brown eyes, what ever you say pretty boy. but just so you know that he can corrupt you whenever he wants.

feel free to use them, write them, daydream- tag me if you made something 🤭🤭

[dyed-red]

Cain should have stuck around longer in the show?

Not only because he and Sam could compete for most glorious hair but also because he was interesting! And it would be narratively interesting!

They wasted him as a mid-season boss battle and tbh I would have killed to see him get the Crowley treatment and turn into a tense frenemy. This show could always use another dilf who has weird and fun sexual tension with Dean, and Sam didn't even get to interact with the guy!

Imagine them calling Cain for lore reasons because he's been alive since forever? Imagine Cas double checking and confirming what Cain has said and Cain being kinda smug about it. Crowley being jealous about Cain (and his connection with Dean and the fact he's the brothers' ancestor because Crowley knows they are weird about blood and that's an in that he simply does not have).

Imagine Lucifer's interactions with Cain

👁️👄👁️

Imagine Cain still being around to meet Amara

👁️👄👁️

Imagine Cain seeing Chuck. And hating him on sight. And the reminder to the audience -- they've fucking met before. When God did nothing to save his brother from Lucifer's influence and Cain ended up cursed for eternity for taking matters into his own hands. How that take got spun, how Cain feels about God-as-writer and the narrative.

Cain had too much narrative potential and that's why they had to kill him off quickly 😔

[lowkeyremi]

I COULD TALK ABT IT FOR HOURS TOO. IM PLANNING TO REWATCH N IM SO EXCITED

also chimera arc (love it sm) can i just say 14 yr old me was into that ant. if anyone reads this, DO NOT come for me. like? meruem…. IM A BETTER PERSON NOW PLS 😭 BUT HELLOOO WHO R UR FAVS??? (as in fav men…) for me; leorio, chrollo was nice too, i have a thing for long haired men so u can already guess. AND KNOVVVVVVVV (can u see the pattern? stressed men? who work hard?) knuckle can get it too

AND AND ANDDDDDD YK THE BODYGUARD OR FRIEND OR WHOEVER THAT WAS?? GOTOHHHHHH that man is so fine idc. he could tell me to sit down and ive already been sat.

I won’t judge u for liking meruem but I didn’t fw him 😭😭 I hated chrollo too. The chrollo girlies were absolutely insane like 2 or 3 yrs ago.

OMFG I THOUFHT I WAS WEIRD FOR LIKING KNUCKLE… BUT HE IS FINEEEEEE (and he likes puppies???? PLUS 1000000)

My favs are: illumi, feitan, morel, kite, killua’s dad and grandpa (i might be into dilfs 😔), and leorio (ik we only talking about guys but SHIZUKU HAS ME WEAKKKK SHE IS SO HOT)

Something about illumi’s lifeless eyes 😭😭 I might be a little hit insane.

GURL GOTOH COULD HITTTTT. I was so mad when hisoka killed him. Im telling u it’s something about those nonchalant men who are stressed asf and don’t get paid enough to do their jobs 😂

I could also go on abt why I hate pouf and pito but I won’t (I HATE THOSE MFS!!!) (I hate hisoka too)

now that I’m thinking abt it ima go watch it rn I’m already rewatching and on s2 I just put it on when I need some noise 🫶🏾

[pinchan]

im sorry TWICEE????? 😭 certified dilf he deserved better than to be killed by prince phillp lookalike 😔😔

in moments like these, i actually realize how much i hate gege because whitewalker is still alive but girlboss yuki biker girl milf woman of my dreams my forever girl hottest jjk character (literally!! she even turned into a blackhole 😍😍😍🔥 our shredded queen 🕳dropped her crown in that hole whoops) isnt......

i get the sentiment but u ppl need to stop calling characters of colors white just bc u don't like them

[starblitz]

Dear Evan Hansen: Blind Reaction (derogatory)

Before you click the “read more” button I’d like to state we ( @simppoyo and I) absolutely hate Dear Evan Hansen and this is our first time watching the movie. If you’re a fan you can ignore this post I literally don’t care, shoo.

Bullet list of things we found completely ridiculous ft. commentary:

"Nice manicure, very school shooter chic."

"M,, sorry [naruto runs away]"

"I wish I was different 🥺 I wish I was apart of something 🥺"

"You fell out of a tree? [Stiffled laughter] That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."

"[has asthma attack in the bathroom and looks like an entire blowfish]"

"[Goes onto Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram like the true 30 year o- I mean high schooler he is]"

"This is... Connor wanted you to have this. [hands him his own letter]"

"Connor took his own life. [deadpan]"

"[Entire school gossiping about a suicide]"

"[Takes picture with the besties the day after news breaks in front of dead persons locker]"

LITERALLY THE MOST AWKWARD DINNER SCENE EVER HELP

"[Says dead brother was a bad person RIGHT AFTER HIS SUICIDE]"

"Who knew rehab could be so much fun."

Connors dad is kind of a dilf ngl

"It was just... [Breaks into song at dinner table]"

Take a shot every time Evan sings "forever"

"[Runs like a wild animal]"

"[Falls like a gmod ragdoll]"

HELP MY BOYFRIEND SAID EVAN LOOKS MANIC

"They think you're lovers you know that right 🤨"

"I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight"

"Ugh calm yourself honey🤨✋"

"[Fruity twirl]"

WHY DID HE HIT THE WOAH HELP MEJEKDHENBDMD

HELP MY BOYFRIEND SAID THIS IS US AND I SAID I'M THE GUY THAT KILLED HIMSELF

Why they dancin like those early 2000s mmd music videos

"Take that trees."

"No, Larry, she needs her parents. 👹"

Dilfy voice "I will sing no requiem😈"

"My dad uh... He lives in Colorado... He left when I was seven😃"

WHY WE POOPOOING ON LARRY ZOEY???

"Like what things? [Awkward silence]"

"I do that ironically ✋"

THIS IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO FUCKING HORRENDOUS

Take more shots every time Evan sings "her"

EW EW EW EW WHY'S HE SO DISGUSTING I'M SORRY BUT I'M STILL NOT OVER HOW EVAN LOOKS LIKE AN OLD MIDDLE AGED MAN

EVAN HAS A RADIOHEAD POSTER IN HIS ROOM I'M LOSING IT

"[Shares medication information cutely as besties do]"

Me calling Alana(?) pretty for the entirety of her song

"All of us anonymous ones😈🥲😔🥺💔⛈️⛓️🔪🚬🩸💊⛈️💔🥺😔🥲😈"

"He never got invited to a single party😔🥲"

"You're so handsome😌" and it's the ugliest tie I've ever seen

"[Breathes heavily into mic] good mo🔇📣EEEE🔇good morning🔊 sorry-🔉"

HELP ME THE PEOPLE LAUGHING AT HIM ID BE LAUGHING TOO

Why is he licking his lips so much???

MY BOYFRIEND JUST DROPPED THE BOMB THAT HIS SCHOOL USED THIS SONG FOR A CHOIR CONCERT ONE YEAR??? WHAT?? HELP ME??

"[Sings in cursive] you will be fouuuUUNNDDD😩"

"His best friend died... You won't believe what he did next!" HELP ME?

[School presentation squares form Connors face like the fucking intro to Megamind]

Why is the dad crying making me emotional I hate this movie but that made me tear up a little it's literally the most emotion I've shown this entire time.

"This is just horrid 🤨" - My boyfriend

"You're gonna wanna grab some tissues 😔☝ [CUTS TO EVAN VOMITING]"

"Yeah he does..." He says as he doesn't have a dad.

WHY DOES EVAN SIT LIKE A SHRIMP HELP MF SAID 🍤🦐

HE'S JUST CONFESSING TO HIS MOM HELP THIS IS SO TENSE

"You know those aren't free!!! 👹"

Nvm he pussied out ✋

"Is your room upstairs? [Evan proceeds to give Zoey the grossiest smile ever]"

"I like u cuz... U." Wow that's crazy Shakespeare.

EW GROSS TOUCHING ZOEY DON'T TOUCH HIM HE'S GOT MAD UGLY DISEASE

Imagine how awkward...you're a ghost and you see your sister and "best friend" becoming a couple... I'd off myself x2

HE'S GOT Y@OI HANDS BYE

THEY KISSED AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S 30 AND THE ACTRESS FOR ZOEY LOOKS LIKE SHE'S IN JUNIOR HIGH I'M SO UNCOMFORTABLE

Not another dinner scene I can't take this it's so awkward

Evans mom is such a bitch 🤨

SHE DID NOT JUST POST THAT LETTER... GIRL????? LMAO

"ARE THEY GONNA ARREST THE INTERNET????!!"

The way he's coming clean through song is fucking sending us

"🐳WoOOOoORDs🐬 fAil🐋"

HE'S SUCH AN UGLY CRIER IT'S SO SCARY

Some of this is shot like a horror movie it's so bizarre

NOT THE MOM SINGING NOW

My boyfriend momentarily scooches his cat out of his room and I just hear "mEEWw"

"Mom isn't goin anywhere 👹🚬[smokers lung]"

Evan's "YouTuber Apology" ensues

SHUT UP I AM NOT TEARING UP AGAIN OVER CONNOR SINGING AND HIS FAMILIES REACTION I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING FUCK YOU

"[Squeezes knee]"

BYE WHY DID THEY FORGIVE HIM

I hate this fucking movie man

Dear Evan Hansen more like Die Evan Hansen

The credits was the best part to the movie tbh.

"YOu wiLL be fOIUUnFdD🐋🐋🐋🐋" and I reply "dude your MOM will be found... In my bed tonight OHHHH🔊🔇"

US LOSING IT OVER SOMEONE NAMED "LUCY BUTT" AND MY BOYFRIEND SAYS "NO WONDER THERE'S SOMEONE NAMED BUTT THIS MOVIE WAS ASS" HELP ME

Final Thoughts:

Horrid.🥰😍