#hat to add to my stupid fish hat collection

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Habit Forming

Prompt: Ok WOW—so, I pretty much just binged all your works, and holy guacamole, they’re AWESOME!!

If it’s not to much to ask, would it be okay if I requested a sequel to Button by Button? Maybe something that showed Janus trying to break his habit, but at the same time, having a kind of hard time because, as Remus said, healing isn’t linear.- anon

Ah yes more of these. Y'all know what time it is!

CHECK POINT TIME MY DUDES~

unclench your jaw roll them shoulders back drink something go to the bathroom eat something look away from the screen for three goddamn CONSECUTIVE seconds

okay cool now you may proceed love you very much

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: implied/referenced self-harm. Very brief description of scale removal

Pairings: platonic dukeceit

Word Count: 2527

It takes 15 days to build a habit.

At the end of the first day, after Remus had helped him downstairs and they’d all busted a rib laughing at Virgil’s impression of Rourke, he’d taken one single button out of the plastic bag and dropped it into the jar.

It looked so…small.

One day at a time, Snakey, he hears Remus’s voice in his head, that’s it. Just take it one day at a time.

So he does. He makes it through one day with the message of button, button, button in the back of his mind as goes. At the end, when he’s made it back to the safety of his room, masks off, hat hung on its hook to be worn tomorrow, he fishes another button out of the bag and drops it in.

It hits the bottom of the jar with a sharp clink.

And so it goes. He makes it through each day with the reminder of the buttons under his gloved hands, the memory of the clink as they hit the bottom of the jar. The plastic bag slowly grows emptier and emptier as the days go by, as the memory of the buttons gets stronger and stronger.

Day by day, he chants to himself with the remnants of Remus’s voice, button by button.

Time marches on.

Then the day comes; he draws the last button from the plastic bag.

He can’t stop the smile spreading across his face as he holds it in his hand. It looks so small, so innocuous, and yet it represents so much. He crumples the empty plastic bag in his hand and throws it in the trash, turning to add the button to the jar. He’s lost count of how many days it’s been, even more so how many it's been since he no longer heard the clink of glass when he dropped the buttons inside.

He adds the button to the jar.

And blinks.

The buttons barely fill up more than an inch. It’s barely an inch. The rest of the empty jar, the transparent glass, the size of it, taunts him.

You thought you were making progress? You thought this meant something? You were impressed by just this? Just this little amount?

Pathetic.

He’s barely done anything. What right doe she have, to stand here and think he’s made some sort of accomplishment, when the overwhelming evidence to the contrary is sitting there, on the edge of his desk, staring him in the face?

A cry of rage emerges from his throat and he knocks the jar from the desk. It calls onto the carpet, spilling its measly contents all over the floor. Janus stands there, panting, watching in fury how quickly his days and days of hard work turn into nothing more than debris on his carpet.

He thought he’d been doing well. He thought he’d been doing well.

And for what? To drop a stupid button into a jar at the end of each day? Was that how his worth was measured now, by an empty glass jar filled with cheap plastic buttons? Was he only worth something if the jar was full? Is his worth only that of a collection of buttons?

No, of course not. He has to earn each and every button. He’s worth one of the buttons. He has to pay for each button he drops into that fucking jar and the price is high.

It could be easier. You could pay a price you’ve already agreed upon.

Unbidden, his hands hook into claws and he reaches toward his face.

“Janus, no!”

Hands. Hands around his wrists, pulling them away from his face. His face falls against a broad chest, rubbing against tulle and ribbon and other things that grate painfully against his scales. He winces, trying to move his face away, only for the chest to rumble and suddenly there’s something soft against him. He cries out in confusion as the grip on his wrists tightens and he’s pitched forward.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, Jan-Jan, it’s just me.”

Remus. Remus is holding his wrists, holding him, slumped awkwardly as he is in Remus’s lap. He’s dragged Remus into this, oh, god, and it’s not even for anything. Remus didn’t ask for this, Remus isn’t supposed to have to put up with him like this, he’s—he—

The buttons lie beneath them on the carpet as Remus holds Janus in his lap.

“Breathe, Snakey,” Remus murmurs in his ear, “c’mon, you gotta breathe. We’re not doing anything until you calm down.”

Anything? Did Remus mean dealing with him? With his inability to do something so stupidly simple you could give it to a toddler and they’d understand it? With his dramatics that dragged Remus here from god knows where just to hold him? With his pathetic, pathetic needs that shouldn’t even be a problem anymore?

Remus would wait, because Remus was smart and kind when he needed to be; he would wait for Janus to stop throwing his temper tantrum, and then he’d talk.

Would he be angry? Janus would be angry at him for this. Of doing so well only to fuck it up and ruin everything for himself, for them. Or even for not doing well, because really, wasn’t that the crux of the issue here, Janus hasn’t even done anything worth congratulating.

But Remus knew that, so Remus wouldn’t be angry about that. He would just be disappointed.

That would be worse.

That would be so much worse.

“Easy,” comes Remus’s voice, much softer and gentler than it should be, “easy, Snakey, that’s enough of that now.”

…Remus doesn’t sound angry.

“I’m not mad, Snakey, it’s alright, if that’s what’s freaking you out.” A strong hand rubs up and down his back. ��You’re okay, no one’s mad, no one’s gonna hurt you. Just try and calm down, okay? I’m right here.”

But calming down means they’re going to talk and Janus doesn’t want Remus to be disappointed either.

“Stop trying to keep it in, Snakey,” Remus says, “let it out, c’mon.”

But the fact that he’s upset is the only thing keeping Remus kind to him right now and he doesn’t—he doesn’t want to lose that. If Remus—he doesn’t want to fall. He doesn’t want to.

It would be so easy.

“That,” Remus growls, shifting their positions enough to press his head hard to Janus’s, “is more than enough out of you.”

The dark anger that colors Remus’s tone is enough to make Janus flinch, even as Remus lets out a more soothing noise and nuzzles into Janus’s shoulder.

“I’m not talking to you, Jan-Jan, I’m talking to the rude little fuck inside your head.” He presses his lips to his temple. “You’re doing great. I just need you to try and give me some of that right now, okay? I can take it.”

Janus gives in. He lets himself slump in Remus’s arms and just cry. Remus holds him steady throughout, rubbing his back gently and letting out soothing noises when Janus’s chest hitches loudly. When Janus slumps for real, he pulls back just enough to wipe off Janus’s face with a surprisingly soft hankie.

“Hey, Jan-Jan,” he murmurs, catching a stray tear on the end of his thumb, “that was a lot, huh?”

Janus nods miserably.

“That voice in your head sounded very mean,” he continues, glaring at Janus’s forehead as if another face will pop up and blow a raspberry at him, “I think I kicked its ass a bit.”

“You did,” Janus mumbles, “it’s…being quiet now.”

“Mm, and it’d better fucking stay that way if it knows what’s good for it right now.” Remus pokes his head gently before tipping Janus’s chin up. “Want to tell me why it got really loud all of a sudden?”

Shame bubbles up into Janus’s throat and he swallows. His eyes land on the empty jar and threaten to well up with tears again.

Remus follows his gaze, expression sobering when he sees the jar on its side. He looks quickly back at Janus.

“Did you break your streak?”

Janus almost considers lying.

That would make sense, wouldn’t it? If he broke it and that’s why he was so upset? If that’s why the jar was knocked over onto the floor? Would Remus understand that more? Would he be kinder?

But that would mean lying to Remus. He doesn’t want to lie to Remus. And then he really will have to start over.

As if picking up on his train of thought, Remus gently tugs on Janus’s collar. “No lying, remember?”

He shakes his head.

“No? No lying?”

“No,” Janus says finally, “I didn’t break my streak.”

Remus searches his face for a second, probably trying to figure out whether or not he is lying, before letting out a deep breath and tilting his head.

“I’m really proud of you, Janus.”

“You…you’re what?”

“Proud of you,” Remus says again, a slight incredulous smile coming to his face when Janus looks unconvinced, “what, you don’t think I should be?”

He shakes his head.

“Well, too bad for you, bitch, because I am proud of you. And you get to deal with the consequences.”

“Of…you being proud of me?”

“Yep!” Remus grins, goofy and over the top and Janus feels the corners of his mouth curling up despite himself. “Which means extra hugs and UNHhhh episodes for you.”

“Can we watch some tonight?”

“Sure.” Remus gives him a gentle squeeze around the middle. “But we gotta finish here first, okay?”

Janus’s shoulders droop.

“C’mon, don’t be like that,” he murmurs, gentler now, “just tell me what happened. You didn’t break your streak, that’s good, but something did freak you out.”

He glances around the floor.

“Or at the very least, decided your button jar needed to become better acquaintances with gravity.”

Janus curls his fingers into Remus’s shirt. “I…I realized something.”

“What did you realize?”

“How empty the jar was.”

Remus frowns. “You mean how many buttons you’d put into it?”

He nods, waving weakly at the trash can. “I…I finished the first bag of buttons we started with and—and when I looked at the jar—“

He chokes himself off. Remus rubs his back encouragingly, leaning closer with concern written cleanly all over his face.

“…it was so empty.”

Remus makes a small noise of understanding. “You thought you’d been making progress but then you looked and it didn’t seem like that, right?”

Another miserable nod.

“Oh, Jan-Jan, I’m sorry, that must’ve been disheartening.”

Janus glances around at the button carnage. “You could say that.”

“Hey,” Remus says gently, lifting his chin back to face him, “I have good news for you.”

“Huh?”

“Good news,” Remus repeats, “is you get to keep all of your progress.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, Jan-Jan, you didn’t break your streak. You did it, you did it, and now all you gotta do is pick the buttons back up.”

As if to demonstrate, Remus leans over and picks up the jar and a button, dropping it inside. It hits the bottom with a clink.

“See?”

Janus takes it with shaky hands, then reaches for a button. Remus helps him stay balanced as he slowly gathers each of the buttons and puts them in the jar. It…takes a while.

“I don’t know about you,” Remus murmurs when they’re sure they’ve gotten them all, “but that felt like a lot of progress to me.”

…yeah, now that he’s put all of them in the jar in one go, that…Janus can admit that was a lot of buttons.

“I know it didn’t feel like it before,” Remus continues, nudging him, “but…does it feel like it now?”

Janus looks at the jar. It…it’s noticeably heavier in his hands. He can see the buttons now, can see how tightly they’re packed together. He can see how many there are.

“Good,” Remus says as he nods, “that’s good. I’m really proud of you, Janus, that’s…that’s a lot of buttons. You said you finished the plastic bag? The one we started with?”

“Mhm.”

“Damn. Yeah, bitch, good for you.”

“R-really?”

“Yes,” Remus says with fond exasperation that’s entirely a bit, “I’m proud of you.”

“Even though it’s so little of the jar?”

“You picked a very small thing to fill your jar with. That means it’s gonna look like a lot less when you’ve done a lot more.” Remus produces another jar and a bag of little rubber dinosaurs. He drops a few inside. “See? Jar looks fuller ‘cause they’re bigger.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, Jan, that’s it.”

…well, now he feels like an idiot.

“You’re not an idiot,” Remus scolds gently when Janus voices that thought out loud, “you’re healing. Healing is hard, it’s not linear, and it’s messy as shit.”

He glances around at the carpet.

“Even if your messes are much easier to clean up than mine.”

It startles a laugh out of Janus’s throat and Remus chuckles with him.

“Hey,” he calls, “remember how you asked if you could get a reward when you’d filled up the jar and you said that would be stupid ‘cause you could just have whatever you wanted whenever?”

“Yeah?”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t get to treat yourself for accomplishing things.”

Janus frowns. “It doesn’t?”

“No, Jan, you can still do nice things for yourself when you’ve achieved something.” Remus points to the trash can. “And you just said you finished the entire plastic bag. That’s something worth celebrating, if you want.”

Janus clutches the jar to his chest. The idea of a…reward for something like this, especially after something like this, is…weird.

“You don’t have to think of it like that if it makes you uncomfortable,” Remus says after a beat, “but…self-denial can be self-harm too. It’s okay to want to do things that make you happy while you’re dealing with this.”

His grip tightens protectively on the jar. “D-does that mean I have to take them all out now?”

“No, no, Jan, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Remus’s hands cover his, cupping the jar between them. “I just mean that it’s not a crime to let yourself be happy, or to do something you enjoy. Indulge a little, yeah? Isn’t that what you’re telling us to do?”

Janus nods shyly.

“Good. So, UNHhhh marathon?”

“…only if we watch Untucked too.”

“Deal.”

“...Remus?”

Remus pauses as he starts to get up. “Yeah?”

Janus looks up at him, clutching the jar of buttons to his chest. “Thank you. For…for helping me.”

Remus’s eyes soften and he reaches down to gently ruffle Janus’s hair. “You’re the one fighting and surviving, Jan-Jan. I’m just handing out buttons.”

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[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

[amelialincoln]

Could you please do a cute family trip to the beach like a babymoon but with scout or something like that?

Hotel California 

“Give it to me.” Link stuck an outstretched palm into her sight of vision. Amelia pulled back as he tried to snatch the phone as a result of not receiving a reply.

“It’s Tom, this patient is critical. He asked for advice.” Amelia leaned away from her frustrated husband.

“Okay, and I’m sure Tom is completely capable of handling it on his own.” Link finally grabbed the phone from her hands, glancing at their conversation. “You’re unbelievable. He didn’t even text you, you were just being controlling and asking for updates.”

“It’s my patient! He should be sending me scans and keeping me informed.”

“Uh no...he should be doing the opposite of that because that’s what I asked him to do.” Link rolled his eyes and leaned back on the beach lounger. “Let it go, Amelia.” She sighed, looking out onto the beach and fixating on Scout who was building a sandcastle a couple meters away.

“He should have sun--”

“I’ve applied it twice in the time that you’ve been obsessing over your phone,” Link teased. “I thought this babymoon was going to destress you but maybe we just should’ve stayed home.” Amelia grinned at him as he beckoned for her to join him on his chair. She interlaced her fingers around the bottom of her bump and slowly moved to sit in his lap. “Man, you’re huge.” Link faked a struggle as she laid back on his chest.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “You're giving your seven month pregnant wife a little too much grief today.”

“Almost eight,” he ran a couple of kisses along her neck as clipped the salty curls out of her face that were getting tangled in the warm breeze. “Did you take your BP this morning?”

“Link,” Amelia groaned. “Can we just relax about everything for a bit?”

“You’re the one checking your phone constantly. The whole reason we’re taking time off from work is to try and get it down.”

“Don’t worry, Carina has made that very clear.” Amelia awkwardly crossed her arms over her swollen stomach and pouted. “It’s weird, I never had a single blood pressure issue with Scout.”

“Probably because you weren’t chasing around a two year old while working full time at the same time as growing a baby.”

“I don’t want to have the conversation about working less again. Mer works full time and she has three kids.”

“Fine,” Link sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. “I just want you both to be healthy.” He wrapped his arms around her abdomen, providing a bit of relief by pulling up a bit. “I don’t know how you carry this around all day,” he laughed.

“I haven’t moved from this seat in the last three days,” she leant her head back to meet his eyes. Link didn’t have Amelia’s naturally tanned skin and had gotten quite the sunburn on the first day. It had gotten better but his cheeks were still tainted crimson. Link grinned as her deep, blue eyes stared up at him and pressed a lingering kiss to her swollen lips. 

“Maybe we should move to California. I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a bikini all day.”

“Been there done that,” she laughed. “Addie would probably melt if we told her that she could actually see her godson on the daily.” 

“Jake’s a nice guy. I wouldn’t mind having them around often,” Link mused, glancing at Scout and giving him a wave.

“Dadda! I made a hospital in the sand!” Scout hollered. “For you and Mommy!”

“Good job, bud!” Link shouted back, shaking his head with amusement. “That boy is your son through and through.” Amelia grinned as she glanced at Scout, who was resembling her brother more and more every day.

“Does it bother you?” She teased.

“Not at all. The next one’s gonna be all me.” He soothed a couple of kicks that were beginning to flutter over her bladder.

“I need to get up and walk around or she’s going to get restless,” Amelia sighed, placing a hand over his. “This one is going to be hyperactive for sure.” Link ginned, nodding and picked up the newspaper beside him as Amelia put on a straw hat and sunglasses and strolled over to their son.

“Hi Mama,” Scout babbled, handing her a shell. “I finded this for you.”

“Thanks, baby,” Amelia smiled, opening her palm towards him. “We can add it to the collection.” Scout had insisted on giving Amelia almost every shell he’d found on the beach. The “collection” consisted of almost a hundred pieces of shells, barnacles and sea glass at this point. “Can we go see auntie Addie again tonight?” Scout asked absentmindedly, digging a hole with his pudgy hands.

“No bud, we’re going to visit Charlotte and Cooper this evening. We’ll see your auntie tomorrow though.” Scout let out a large sigh but nodded.

“Okay.”

                                                         [][][]

“Aw, look at ya!” Charlotte’s outstretched arms greeted the family from the doorway. “Come here.” She pulled Amelia into a gentle hug before kneeling down to Scout’s height and ruffling his dark brown curls. “Hey, mister. Want a popsicle?”

“Charlotte, you’ll ruin his dinner,” Amelia groaned but Scout was already squealing happily as Georgia led him into the kitchen.

“Look at you acting all motherly. I remember you basically smuggling Mason candy every time he came to the practice.”

“Is he here tonight?” Amelia asked.

“Nope, he went with Coop on the trip. They feel bad about not being able to see ya but we had no idea you were even coming.” 

“Our bad. It was all very last minute,” Link replied, breathlessly leaning over to give Charlotte an awkward hug while juggling a couple platters of appetizers.

“I wanted to help him bring stuff in.” Amelia rolled her eyes. “Apparently, I’m too fragile.”

“Fragile and Amelia Shepherd aren’t two words I would put together in a sentence often,” Charlotte joked, welcoming the couple into the entryway. “Addison mentioned that y’all were having a bit of a struggle with this pregnancy.”

“Oh, of course she did,” Amelia eyed Link with exasperation. “I’m fine, everyone’s been making such a big deal.” She grabbed one of the plates from Link’s hands spitefully and practically marched into the kitchen. 

“Well, isn’t she just a ball of delight,” Charlotte chuckled. “Come on in, Link. It’s nice to see you.”

                                                         [][][]

Saying their goodbyes was hard as always. Amelia would do anything to try and convince Charlotte to come work at Grey Sloan and Charlotte would do anything to try and get Amelia to move back to California. Finally Scout’s grumpiness, as a result of his bedtime passing, meant that the couple had to leave and Amelia’s poor attempt to hold back tears failed as they finally got into the car.

“Hormones.” Both Link and Amelia said in sync as they met each other's gaze. Amelia craned her neck to peer back at Scout who was fast asleep in his carseat, soft snores coming from his mouth. They pulled into their hotel as the sun disappeared from the horizon. Amelia went to pull Scout out of his carseat out of habit before Link tugged her aside and picked their sleeping son up into his own arms.

“You got the hotel key?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she replied with a yawn.

“Tired, babe?” Link turned to glance back at his wife, who was waddling slowly behind him and tried to hide his amusement. Amelia nodded, catching up to him as Link slowed down. “Sounds like it's bedtime for everyone.”

“Apparently not,” Amelia groaned, rubbing the underside of her belly as the familiar flutters started back up again, receiving a sympathetic look from Link as she unlocked their hotel room. Link placed Scout carefully on the hotel’s king sized bed without a sound and began to fish through their suitcase. “His pjs are in my bag. I wasn’t sure if we were going to put him down at Charlotte’s or not.” She took off the heels that she heavily regretted wearing and rubbed her swollen feet.

“Probably would’ve been smart. Poor guy is exhausted.”

“We can sleep in. Flight’s not until one,” Amelia responded softly, brushing her son’s hair out of his face. Scout didn't even flinch, dead asleep.

“She still kicking?”

“Not as much anymore.” Amelia ghosted a hand over her abdomen. “Had me worried for a sec.”

“Don’t jinx it.” Link grinned, finally finding Scout’s pjs in Amelia’s bag and throwing them at her.

“No kidding.” She pulled their son’s popsicle covered t-shirt off and motioned for Link to run it under water in the sink before taking off the rest. Link came to sit beside her as she finished buttoning up Scout’s dinosaur onesie and rubbed her back gently.

“Can I take your BP now?”

“Link, I just want to go to bed,” Amelia sighed, leaning into his touch and closing her eyes.

“I know, babe. It’ll just take a second.” He grabbed the portable monitor from his suitcase and secured the strap around her arm. Link watched the screen intently as the strap inflated and began to deflate before the final number came up on the screen. “One twenty-nine over eighty.” He bit his nail, glancing up at her. “I mean it’s a bit better.” Amelia looked away, shaking her arm out of the band and trudged into the bathroom. “Amelia,” Link sighed, following her and waiting as she splashed water on her face before picking up her toothbrush.

“One twenty-nine over eighty is crap,” she mumbled, through a mouthful of toothpaste. “This whole thing is stupid. The more that people freak me out about numbers and bad outcome statistics and birth plans the more I get stressed.”

“Who’s talking to you about bad outcome statistics?” Link demanded with a hint of anger in his usually calm voice.

“Addie.” Amelia spat in the sink. “She’s worried about placental abruption. She thinks our best bet is C-section.”

“Okay, well Addie is not our doctor. Carina said that as long as we monitor you closely, a natural birth is completely safe.” Amelia shrugged, turning back into their bedroom. “I thought that’s what you wanted?”

“I want our baby to be safe,” Amelia affirmed. “I think Addie should do it.”

“Carina is perfectly capable of delivering. She’s been through this with us the entire time. She knows your condition better than anyone and Scout turned out okay,” Link pressed, watching Amelia trace a protective hand along her bump absentmindedly. She glanced up at him, seeming to give into exhaustion.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” She begged.

“Yeah.” Link nodded, giving in to his tired wife. “Of course we can. Let’s get you to bed.” He unbuttoned her dark blue dress that complimented her eyes perfectly and unclasped her bra before handing her one of his oversized t-shirts.

“My boobs are huge,” she complained, crawling into bed.

“I know. You were in a swimsuit with me all day,” he teased, undressing until he was in his boxers and slipping into bed beside her. “Hey,” he chuckled, as he received a pathetic slap from a pillow. “I wasn’t complaining.”

“My pregnancy with Scout was so easy.” She shook her head, trying to think back to if her ankles were the size of grapefruits back then.

“You were probably just distracted by all the drama,” Link joked. “I remember some good complaints. The braxton hicks were bad.”

“I don’t have anything to compare those to yet,” Amelia nuzzled her head into Scout’s who was lying fast asleep in between the couple and yawned.

“Go to sleep,” Link’s hand found her hair and he ran his fingers along her scalp gently. “My babies all need rest.” Amelia nodded, slowly nodding off to the soothing effect of Link’s fingertips and the crashing of the waves from outside their hotel room.

[akatsukinojutsu]

stupid holiday -- hidan

Hidan HATES this stupid holiday called Christmas especially when he’s forced to join in for a secret Santa. He draws your name and now really has to participate because he has a crush on you. Little does he know that you have him as well.

(hope you all had a great holiday and this is the winner of my 2020 Holiday Contest!)

Pain called a meeting with all of the Akatsuki and had in his hands a black bowl. “You will each draw your names as apart of a teamwork exercise. Participation is mandatory or deal with the consequences,” he said in a stern tone. The orange haired man lent out the bowl to each member and everyone pulled out a small folded piece of paper with a name written on it.

Hidan was second to last and he refused at first to pick. He leaned back on his chair and crossed his arms over his chest in a childish demeanor. Pain stood in his place and stared down at Hidan, “Pick a name, Hidan.” the leader insisted. Hidan turned his head with a disgusted expression, “This damn holiday is stupid! Lord Jashin laughs at you all!”

Kakuzu sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Hidan, you idiot. Just pick a damn name so we can get this over with!” he barked. Hidan squinted his eyes and shot his partner a dirty look, “Fuck you, Kakuzu!” Everyone was already finished with Hidan’s immature actions, especially you. You sighed even louder than Kakuzu, slapped your knees with your palms and stood from your chair. “Leader, here, I’ll pick a name.” you shoved your hand in the bowl and fished out on of the two remaining pieces of paper.

You pulled the paper out, opened it, and discovered your recipient was none other than the man who was causing all of the ruckus, Hidan. “There, if [Y/N] can do it, you can. Pick the paper Hidan or I will dismember you.” Kakuzu chimed in with a hiss. Hidan scoffed, leaned forward, and grabbed the paper. “Good luck trying, fucker.” he opened the paper and read your name. 

The muscle in his chest fluttered for a moment. [Y/N]? Shit. Why did he have to get you? He believed this holiday and “teamwork exercise” was fucking stupid. Then -- he had to just pick your name out of the entire organization.

“Good,” Pain tucked the bowl under his arm, “You all have a week to purchase or find your items. Meeting dismissed.”

Everyone murmured amongst themselves and some departed to go about their business. Tobi sprung from his chair and threw himself onto Hidan, “Hidan-sama! Who’d you get?! Was it...,” he leaned in closer to the immortal and whispered not very quietly, “[Y/N]?~” 

Hidan’s face flushed red and he immediately placed the orange masked imbecile into a headlock. “If you say that again, I will pop your head off like a cork, you fucker!” Tobi croaked out in panic as Hidan continued to squeeze his windpipe.

Konan approached the two and called for Hidan to release the man. He complied and Tobi scampered off to do whatever it is that he does. Konan watched as the masked man ran away  and then turned her attention back to the silver haired man. “Did you really get, [Y/N]?” Hidan’s face turned a shade of red again and stammered out, “What-what the fuck? How do you people keep guessing it?!” She chuckled, “Calm down, I was merely standing by when I heard Tobi ask you. Plus, your face turned pretty red once you pulled the paper out. Also, you don’t hide it well.”

Hidan had steam rolling out from his ears as his face continued to evolve into different red hues. “She really loves different gems and crystals. I’m sure Iwagakure has shops you can get some at.” she smiled, shrugged, and left.

The immortal man paced his room and he prepped how he would enter Iwagakure undetected, purchase the gifts, and other things. He had x amount of days and the clock was counting down.

For choosing a gift for Hidan -- that was easy. The man enjoyed violence, blood, and alcohol. So, you decided to get him something he could use for all three. You purchased him a variety of hand crafted knives, vials, and a gigantic bottle of sake. 

You placed all the items into one giant box and wrapped it with red paper and topped with a blue ribbon.

Your hands clapped and were happy with your results. Despite Hidan being the -- difficult person that he was; he was a different person once you shuffled past his outside. 

Hidan was loud and brash as normal to you but you were lucky to see the fact that he is a loyal person. He once willingly took a blast from a fire jutsu for you which charred his skin. You knew it wouldn’t kill him nor really hurt him, but it was the fact that he willingly took injuries for you.

He even offered you the chance to become immortal as well but you politely declined his offer.  You could recall him saying, “I-I just thought it’d be pretty fucking cool to have someone like you to be -- y’know--,” he confessed something personal. You’ll never forget that moment of tenderness that he let through.

It was the day of the gift exchange and all of the members of the Akatsuki were gathered in the main room. Everyone was seated in a circle with gifts their laps. Pain entered the room with a festive hat on his head then passed matching ones to each member. Most of them murmured in annoyance but just went along with it.

Kakuzu went first, he had Konan -- who gifted her with various paints, some of them looked used? Deidara had Itachi and gifted him with a clay crow painted black with red eyes. Itachi had Pain an gifted him an umbrella?

Kisame had Sasori and gave him some tools to add to his collection to fix his puppets. Sasori had Kakuzu and gave him a gigantic money clip for his stacks of yen. Tobi had Zetsu and gave him a watering can. Konan had Tobi and gave him a whole box of sweets. Pain had Deidara and gave him a small pottery wheel.

You stood from your seat and approached Hidan with box in hand. Despite acting like he wasn’t interested in the exchange, he unwrapped the large box rather quickly. His magenta eyes scanned the contents of the box and a grin spread across his lips. Hidan’s head whipped up to meet your gaze and the large smile on his face was all the thanks that you needed. He gripped the sake bottle, popped the top, and took a huge chug. Hidan burped loudly and proceeded to thank you.

“Wait!” he yelled out as you turned to leave.

Hidan leaned to his side as he reached under his chair. He pulled out a crudely wrapped --- orb shaped thing. “I hope you enjoy it, [Y/N].” His eyes turned soft.

Inside the poor wrapping was a large sphere shaped gem, purple agate to be correct. Your pupils widened as a rush of feelings spread through your body. You smiled widely, the biggest smile Hidan or anyone in the Akatsuki had ever seen.

“Thank you, Hidan. It’s beautiful,” you held it close to your chest with a small hug.

After an hour or so, everyone left and all that was left was Hidan and yourself. He had nearly drank the entire bottle of sake that you had given him. Hidan was able to hold is alcohol well but it was clear that he wasn’t sober. You approached him with a smile, still clutching the gemstone in your arms. “I-It seems you really liked my gift, Hidan.” you said with a snort. He quickly turned around and once he saw you, his face turned red.

You threw him off guard as you placed a kiss on his cheek as a token of your appreciation. Hidan remained silent until he cursed, “Shit,” his fingers touched the skin where you kissed and he smiled.

“Why don’t you stop by my room tonight, Hidan? Maybe you can help me find a spot to put this at,” you smiled with a wink before turning away to return to your room.

[rurifangirl]

oc asksssss💃💃💃

i'll anwser yours a lil later tho🤡

shou🌸

😍 does your muse believe in true love? why or why not?

kayn🌸

🧸 does your muse keep anything sentimental? if so, what do they keep and why?

evelyn🌸

🐺 does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

eris🌸

🎵 is there a specific song or songs you associate with your muse? why is that?

rui🌸

🤷‍♀️ how does your muse approach strangers? how does this compare to how they interact with close friends or lovers?

kerei🌸

👗 what is your muse’s fashion sense like? are they able to dress the way they want to? what would they wear in an ideal world?

kida🌸

🌱 what themes are relevant to your muse?

✨ what aesthetics or symbols do you reference when writing your muse? are these backed up by canon, if your muse comes from a canon? is there any specific relevance to these choices?

syndra🌸

🏆 is your muse multitalented? what are their hobbies, and why did they pick up these hobbies? if they don’t have hobbies, why don’t they?

lyva🌸

😱 does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

naexi🌸

💍 does your muse have a “type” of people that they prefer to enter relationships with? is their type generally compatible with them, or does the dynamic tend to be toxic?

myst🌸

🤝 how does your muse approach intimacy? are they hesitant, or do they like it? what types of intimacy do they like and dislike? (ex. physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc.)

Dw bout It, I took my time too😭😭

Shou🍵-

He doesn't have much of an opinion about It, as It wasn't really much of his interest. He was more deep into continuing his family's legacy than worrying about such things.

But, if asked for, he would've have mixed feelings.

Because he knows how fate can be, and It could happen sometimes, or even something similar like It happened with him and Qiran.

But overall, he isn't sure about its existence 100% either.

Kayn💜-

He has something that reminds him of his friends/past, even through some little pictures, an object, a drawing or something among these lines.

For example, remember that bear plushies on that one Ruri/Kayn comic? Yeah, that's one of the dearest things he's grown close to. Other than other gifts the PTSD gang already gave him.

He has something for everyone. And he treasures those greately. Some of them are even hidden, because he wants to keep them so dearly.

Evelyn⚙️-

She prefers a lot more being around others, both because of when they were pretty much left alone, and also because he generally prefers being around people.

Teasing them, being caring or just talking about their special interests with.

He's also the type of guy to usually start fights for stupid shit in bars so😭😭

Eris🌑-

Bestie my musical taste isn't,,, really that, so uhm, oddly I won't say im in love from the Hercules movie, but also not?? Like It ties up to em anyways regarding moons past and does It pretty well so whkdkskrf

Pls ignore my musical taste here

Rui💎-

It depends on whether they feel comfortable with them, or would rather avoid them.

In the first case, it's easy to start off with a friendship or trying to get more, as long as they have the right criteria.

Otherwise, they'd avoid them like the pest and would do anything and everything to avoid them😭😭 and sometimes ending into embarassing situations because of that.

Kerei🔮-

Anything goes well. He doesn't have a specifical dressing style in contrast to others, so anything cheaper and the first thing that can keep him warm Is well.

He does have a variety of choises on hats, which Is the only thing he cares about other than his hair.

Kida💮-

🌱-

Whkshsjdjd i had some troubles w this so I'll skip It🤡

✨-

It's mostly strong, female leads characters. Kinda like how Mai ended up being, while still having to face other kinds of issues. They're sometimes original by Canon, and sometimes they're added, since she Is stil from an au where canon does change quite a lot. There's not much to add, and I'm sorry to go so brief on her

Syndra⛩️-

She's really skilled in sword fighting, showed through its collections of swords. Of any kind. It's more than a simple hobby, since there's some cases in which she depends on those skills in order to survive.

She also Is pretty well at creating small objects, though it keeps It away from even those close to her, to not seem "weak" in their eyes.

Lyva📙-

She does have many fears, due to having a negletful family and little to no actual friends to rely on.

One of these things Is also fire, due to a traumatic incident where she got scolded purely cus of something even her couldn't control, and accidentaly got burned on the meanwhile.

The burned scar Is now all marginalized and basically almost cannot be seen, but it's still there, on her arm.

That's also part of the reason she doesn't wear much of "open" clothes.

Another one Is High places, but that more of an irrational fear of It. There's a couple of other more but id rather not make this too long either.

Naexi⚛️-

They aren't currently searching for a relationship, but if she could, she'd ask for someone "weaker" than them. To both being able to protect them, because of what happened in the past with Eris, and to have much control over them.

To be in power of something more than their dolls. A sentient being to obtain.

She still will give their s/o time for themselves, a but the power difference will remain as they want to.

She'll also search for compassion in that regard, even if they think they don't deserve much, for this point.

Myst🎸-

He's mostly fine with It! She's pretty touchy herself too, so getting hugs, pats or anything they're comfortable will goes absolutely amazing for him.

He's pretty uncomfortable with sexual intimacy, and as for emotional, she'll still struggle whether he has platonic or romantic feelings at times,

So he'd rather prefer a normal friendship. Even tho Lyva exists now so it's a big fucky

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @dopesaladlady @nadi-117 @audre-falrose

[onepdumpsterfire]

Maelstrom

Reader . Straw Hat crew

Word count: 6623

Trigger warning: Death. Gore, I suppose. (spoiler: the reader dies then comes back to life)

if there are any triggers that you need specifically tagged, please feel free to tell me.

Summary: Reader was betrayed by their past comrades and left in a cage for the rest of eternity. straw hats stumble upon them and  decide to help them.

Nami’s pov.

A harsh current pulled at The Sunny, dragging us closer and closer to the raging whirlpool behind us. 

We raced around on The Sunny, trying to get her to move away from it, but its claws took hold of us before we could even take control from the waters. Roughly pulling at The Sunny one last time, it sucked her into its glistening wrath.

“Not like this, Sunny,”  Franky yelled at his most prized creation, “You will not go down like this.” He pulled on the helm, hoping to salvage any form of power.

But the current was too strong, and before we knew it, the whirlpool took us from its lip down to its pit; swallowing our screams with its ear-splitting roar up to the very end.

-

We should be dead. The raging waters should have destroyed our ship and drowned us for trying to defy the sea’s fury; but it calmed at the apex of the whirlpool, making the Sunny swirl to a dizzying stop before it started moving in the same lazy path of the current at the whirlpool’s center. “. . .What . . . just happened?” I’m amazed at our continued death-defying luck, and it seems most of the crew did too. They either stood incredulous at the events or celebrated our, once again, unbelievable escape of danger.

As are many of the moments here, it didn’t last long before our captain decided to do something stupid.

“Hey! there’s an island!” Luffy pointed towards the very center of the whirlpool that caged us in. “Franky, turn The Sunny! We’re stopping at the island!” He shouted over his shoulder as he stretched out his arms on the railing. “Gomu gomu-no...”

I should have known that he would think very little about the situation we’ve gotten into. Walking over to him, I try to take hold of him before he can launch himself. “Oh, no you don’t. You are going to help-” Without a care in the world, our reckless captain slingshotted himself off The Sunny, yelling about finding a good restaurant on the island before I could finish my sentence. 

“That idiot captain.” A vein practically burst out of my forehead as I shook a menacing fist at the spot where he once stood. “When I get my hands on-” taking in a long breath, I calmed myself. There’s no point in getting mad at that idiot captain right now. Let’s just anchor the ship somewhere secluded so that I can RIP HIM A NEW ONE.

Soon after, my anger towards Luffy’s rash personality dissipated and began to get replaced with a crawling sense of dread. Even before we anchored the ship, I felt there was something wrong.

The island seemed so still. So… quiet, besides the constant cascading water surrounding us there weren’t any sounds of bugs or birds or ANY animals. It’s getting hard to believe that this island was inhabited by anything, let alone humans.

To add to the ominous feeling the island gave off, the beach ended as soon as it began. The small strip of sand that surrounded the island like a halo turned into stone more than a yard in, and the few plant life that was here miraculously thrived from between the cracks on the rocky floor. No grass, no trees, just bushes, weeds, and a tall rugged mountain that seemed to be too steep to even be called that. It appeared to be more of a tower that onlooked the rest of the island. Looming over everything like a guardian that promised safety only to backhand you with its cracked and coarse hand.

Few of the bushes seemed to have some food to eat, but all of it were poor excuses for berries. Too small to carry any nutrients and too little to sate any hunger. I’m sure that even if you collected all the berries in this place it wouldn’t even be enough to constitute as a meal.

Without even looking I knew that the water surrounding us would be the same. Devoid of all life, plant, and animal alike. Had we really survived? Or do we await a less abrupt ending? One where we prolong our inevitable doom by scrounging up any food we can find or starve.

Looking over to the thrashing water that surrounded us, tumbling over itself to create an impenetrable gate, it seemed to be harsher than what we’d crossed to get in here. Was it even possible to get back out? With the way things looked if we even tried we’d get ripped to shreds. I don’t think The Sunny can survive that.

My concerns were interrupted when Luffy came running back to us yelling that he hadn’t found a town or village on the small island. “Of course not! Do you not see how deserted the island looks?”

“That’s right, Luffy!” Usopp joins in my scolding, “we should worry about how we’re gonna get out! Or what we’re gonna eat! Our food won’t last forever!” At least there’s one person here that’s reliable. I can always count on Usopp to be grounded!

“We can just eat fish-” I quiet the thundering dumbass with a hit to the head, “obviously not! There are no fish here!” With a huff, I look over to our cook, “Sanji-kun, can you ration out the food?”

“Yes, Nami-swan!” Hearts practically bulge out of his eyes as he praises my genius. disregarding that one, I need to make sure the whining resident glutton of the ship gets the message.

Glaring, I grab the scruff of Luffy’s vest, “EVERYONE’S on a diet until we get out or miraculously find food on this godforsaken rock.”

“Bᵤₜ ₙaaaₘᵢᵢᵢᵢ”

“No buts.”

“Bᵤₜ ₙaa-” Giving him another hard knock to the head, I dish out the rest of the orders.

Zoro is gonna go scout the island more thoroughly, taking Chopper with him because he wanted to see if there were any herbs he could use for medicine in between all of the weeds. Robin went to go check out the stone tower mountain with Franky and Luffy, who would have gone anyway even if I had told him otherwise. Usopp and Brook took charge of seeing if the sea was really as barren as the rest of this place in the Mini Marry. Lastly, I’m gonna go explore the island, map it out, and try and find any clues that explain why this place is so lifeless.

-

After an hour of looking around, I've come to the conclusion that this place makes no sense! If an underwater volcano erupted and created the island not so long ago then maybe it would make sense but by the looks of the untamed, patchy shrubs this place has been here for much longer. Not to mention, after an eruption, the first life that forms is lichen that slowly breaks away at the rock that formed; but it’s as if a sheet of rock landed on top of this island, killing everything that couldn’t claw its way out through the cracks. More so, it looks like it’s sealing everything beneath it so that no other life passes. It’s purposefully trying to keep any vegetation from growing.

The longer I walk around the island the more off it becomes. I should get back and tell the others what I found. Hopefully, Robin was luckier and found better clues about this place in the tower.

-

As I approach The Sunny, I can see that all of them are back and… there’s someone with them.

So there was life here?

How is that even possible?

Either way, I have a piece of my mind to give to this person about the island.

“Look who we found in the tower.” Robin gestures towards the new person in the group, “this is Y/n.”

“Thank you, Robin. I can always count on you.”

“Luffy and I were there too, y’know!” Franky yells at me.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Y/n-”

“Don’t ignore me!” 

“- how long have you been here? How did you manage to survive? Is there anything that’s edible here, other than the barries?” I give them a look like they’re our saving grace. Maybe, just maybe, there could be hope for us after all.

Reader’s pov.

They’d introduced themselves already; the black-haired woman that initially found me in my safe haven had done the courtesy, even going as far as telling me what each of the people on the crew did. That includes the redhead that approached us with a worried expression that soon turned to absolute bliss as she laid eyes on me. She must think I can get them out of here or find them some supplies, but she will soon be disappointed.

After a small one-sided exchange from the redhead and… Franky… she bombards me with questions.

“... no, sorry. There is no food here…” The life practically saps out of her eyes as she deflates into a feeble state of worry. “You all should leave if you can. This is no place to live.”

“Says you!” the long nose speaks up. Usopp, was it? “You live here don’t you? If you’d fallen in after us Brook and I would have seen you when we were searching around the island and we didn’t see any boats or wrecks!”

“Plus, you’re all alone here. What happened to your crew?” Chopper the tanuki braves his fear and speaks from behind Zoro. Well, not quite. He’s more hiding his face than his body.

“Maybe they ate their crew.” Usopp and Chopper scream in terror at Robin’s attempt at humor. “Don’t say that, Robin! They wouldn’t... R-r-right, Y/n-san.” Stuttering, Usopp tries to give me the benefit of the doubt so as to land a better standing with me. “W-we’re all friends here right, Y/n-san?”

“Maybe I did.” Usopp ashened at my words while Chopper yelled that I’d be restrained.

Such a lively crew. It's been a while since I’ve had such a nice interaction with… Well, anyone. Looking off to the side, I make note of the time of day. It’s nearly sunset, they should get out while there’s still light, if they even can. At the very least they should die trying. What this place is… What this place becomes after dark. They won’t survive for long if they stay here.

“All jokes aside,” admitting that I was only joking seemed to calm the scaredy cats, though what I’m about to say will raise their anxiety once more. Poor them, thrown one thing after another. “It’s getting dark. There are things on this island that come out during the night-”

“The caves dug into the floor Chopper and I saw, there was something inside,” Zoro steps forward, already knowing the answer to his upcoming question. “I felt something was in there, that’s what you’re talking about, right?”

“Yes, there are creatures here who burrowed down into the rock of this island,” turning behind me, I face the tower again, “they won’t go into the tower, so if you need it, you can stay there for tonight.”

“But take anything you want from your ship, those creatures will ravage everything on it.” I raise a hand to stop their upcoming complaints, “it would be best to leave right now so that the ship has a better chance to make it over the whirlpool, but there is no helping it if you have no idea how to cross it yet.”

Letting them finally say what’s on their minds they hurl a flurry of complaints at me.

Luffy: can that thing even hold up? When we went to go see it, it looked like it was about to fall over!

Franky: I’m not leaving my baby alone with whatever those things are!

Usopp: What are those things?!?!?!?! Do they only come out at night?! Am I the only one worried about them?!!

Zoro: I’ll cut them all down.

Sanji: Nami-swan, Robin-chwan! Your prince will protect you!

Nami: Thank you Sanji-kun

Chopper: I wasn’t aware there even was an entrance to the tower.

Robin: I hope we don’t get eaten…

Brook: Same here, I doubt I’m any good. I’m all bones yohohohoho

Taking a deep breath, I try to answer whatever questions or complaints they have. The tower will probably hold. No guarantee, though. It’s the safest bet to make it through the night.

The things leave when daylight hits.

They can’t just sail around the island until those things are gone in the morning because they are a type of magical creature that learns and evolves. (The creatures would struggle to swim at first but soon enough they would become exceptional at it and catch up.)

You can’t just cut them down because they’re immortal beings that re-generate.

“Well, not quite beings, considering that they were made from magic to mindlessly attack whatever is in the cage.” I corrected myself, gaining more inquiries. “Magic? Cage? Is that what the whirlpool is? What is it keeping inside, if not those creatures?” Robin seems to be one of the more inquisitive people on the ship, considering how gung-ho the others appear to be, I’m glad they have someone that they can count on. Such loyalty and trust from comrades is one thing that I miss most from the outside world.

“Hahaha those are good questions, maybe I’ll answer that some other time,” I turn on my heel, not really caring if they take my advice or not. “It’s a long story and it’s about to get dark. We should head inside.”

I’m not gonna stay out here to be live bait to those THINGS.

Suddenly a warm, cream-colored thing snakes around my abdomen before yanking me back, full force. Nearly making me spit out my heart, may I add. What the ABSOLUTE FUCK?

Flying past the ship’s railing, I land on the hard mast, knocking the wind right out of myself. “Ah, sorry. Sorry, shishishishi.” Luffy stands above me, laughing at my expense. That stupid face makes me want to throw him into the ocean. A devil fruit user huh? I hope he sinks, bastard! I prepare to scold him, but he cuts me off, “you’re coming with us, right?”

“I- wa- No! I can’t ‘come with you’!”

“Huh? But why not?”

“Because the cage won’t let me! Believe me, I’ve tried! It just drags me right back… I can’t… I can’t leave.” Pushing past Luffy, I try to jump ship but it seems they have other ideas. His arm now tightly secured to my waist he tells me they won’t let those things hurt me. That I can leave with them. To the outside world.

His words and the full confidence looks his crew gives us almost makes me fall to my knees. How can they believe so blindly in someone? Putting so much faith in someone can only lead to betrayal. They can’t be serious. This isn’t real.

I try to worm myself out of his grasp. Pulling and pushing at Luffy’s skin, kneading away at his arm but his hold only tightens. “We’ll get out, Y/n. Don’t worry.” He isn’t looking at me, rather choosing to stare as the last sliver of light vanishing and a tidal wave of misformed creatures rushing towards the departing ship.

They were all butched, they looked like the person who made them once intended them to look human only to change their mind at the last moment. Some of the creatures looked sickly, with stick-like bodies that clashed with bulbous limbs. Dried out, pale skin that cracked under their every jagged movement, spilling blood with every jerk of their body. Their faces so sunken and hollow you could barely tell there were eyes in the black sockets that reflected back the murky color of the dim moonlight.

Others had random limbs that were too long for them; elongated further than they should have to contradict the rest of their proportions. Their skin sagged on their forms and their orifices oozed a dark and coagulated purge liquid that slopped down with their every step.

They crawled at an alarming speed with their spidery appendages, falling over each other’s tangling limbs. They pulled on each other to get to us. Gnarled limbs clawing, biting, ripping each other open to get farther ahead.

Their dark gray blood painted the stone beneath them as they healed themselves then tried to get past again. Shoving, piercing, and sinking their teeth into one another turned to push each other underwater when they got to the sea.

They took no breaths between the waves that pulled them or the body pushed them under; they didn’t even look like they cared that they were drowning themselves.

They had one objective.

Destroy the occupants of the cage at any cost. 

“Oh, god! What are they doing?!” Usopp yelled from the stern, firing off a few rounds with his slingshot, kabuto. Zoro, Sanji, and Chopper stood beside him observing the horrific sight. “Stop firing at them! It’s useless, that won’t make them stop!” I yell back at him, finally managing to free myself from Luffy’s arm. Whether they heard me or not didn’t show, all four of them began to throw any attack they could at the creatures.

“Have a little faith, Y/n shishishi,” Luffy smiled at me, “we’re gonna get out of here.”

Rolling my eyes, I walk over to the railing. “If you guys wanna take your chances with the cage that’s fine, but leave me out of it.” I prepare to leap over the railing only to be pulled back again. “Are you crazy?! Those things will rip you to shreds if you go into the water!”

“No, crazy would be staying here, and at the very least it’ll give you some time to try and go through to the other side! Look!” I pointed back to the mass of bodies that dived down before springing out of the water, almost taking out Usopp when they collectively reached out for him. “I told you those things learn, it’s just a matter of time before they manage to get on board!” 

I pleaded with them to just let me buy them some time. I can’t leave but at the very least I can do that! I can do one nice thing to the only people that I’ve seen in centuries! To the people that tried to save me with their stupid blind faith.

But Luffy stubbornly refused to just let me go. No matter how many times I told them I’d be fine.

The waters sped up as we neared the edge of the whirlpool, leaving the creatures to get pulled under. “There isn’t much time before they resurface, or until the curse... I need to leave. I can buy you time! Please!” I am practically on my knees begging, but they won’t even listen to me.

“Luffy! We only have enough Cola reserves to make a small coup de burst,” Franky shouted over the white noise of the gushing water, “The wind that’s surrounding the whirlpool is being sucked in from the outside. If we don’t time it right we might end up being engulfed by the waters!”

“Alright, Franky! I’m counting on you!”

“Aye, captain! I’ll do it at the last possible moment to ensure we make it through!”

Panic sets in the pit of my stomach, “no, I can’t. I can’t!” I pull and punch at Luffy,  “I won’t make it! Let go of me so you won’t be left behind with me, Luffy!”

“No.”

“Luf- Lu.” I nearly choked on my own words when I got a glimpse of the wide horizon line.

I thought I’d never be able to see such a beautiful eternity again. I’ve never made it this far, the water would only get more aggressive no matter how hard I tried with whatever unlucky ship was dragged down here. It would always drag me down under or pull me back to the island.

 We’re getting closer and closer, the boys in the back are holding themselves against the creatures and Luffy isn’t letting go.

Can I… Can I actually leave this place?

Can I be free?

Tears distort my vision before falling freely down my face, “can I leave? I can be free?” I look up at Luffy for confirmation. Light seemed to radiate off of him. Could you be my savior? 

“Of course, Y/n! Shishishishi!” Luffy lets me go, now satisfied knowing that I won’t try to jump off. I look out into the ocean that I haven’t seen In lifetimes and I can’t help the hope that swells in my heart.

I can see the outside again. 

I’m gonna be free

I am gonna be FREE

All too suddenly the familiar weight on my neck constricts my airway.

No. I’m so close. no. No. NO! 

The chain that binds me to the island finally shows itself. Shortening the closer we get to freedom.

How cruel to have me believe I could actually be free. 

The chain pulled me back with such a crushing force that it immediately snapped my neck. 

Sanji’s pov.

We were so close. So close to leaving this hell hole and then a chain appeared around Y/n neck. It pulled them back into the water and dragged them all the way back to land. All of the creatures that pursued us stopped immediately, taking more interest in Y/n’s body that flopped in and out of the water with the dragging force of the chain. The creatures jumped on to them, injecting their claws into their soft skin to secure their hold on them.

“Stop! Turn around! Y/n fell off!” Luffy yelled up at Franky. 

I agree with Luffy, we may have just met Y/n but I heard about how they were willing to jump into the water to give us time to escape. There’s no way we can leave them behind after that!

“As the navigator, I’ll make sure to keep the ship safe, captain.” With an unshaken voice, Nami assured Luffy, “Go to the island and get Y/n back. We’ll keep The Sunny going around to keep her safe until you get back!”

“D-don’t worry c-captain. I’m a b-brave warrior of the sea! I’ll protect the ship!” Shakily Usopp raised a thumbs up to Luffy.

“Yes! Leave it to us, Captain!” Brook chimed in, soul solid at the ready.

“Oi, Captain. Don’t keep all the fun to yourself. We’re coming too.” Zoro and I stood resolute on our decision. 

“Shishishi alright! Let’s go! Gomu gomu-no!” Luffy stretched his arm over the railing, while the other wrapped itself around us. “No! Wait! Luffyyyyyyyy!!” Our idiot captain wants to kill us! Launching us straight into a rocky shore, this ASS!

“Stop throwing us everywhere, Luffy!” I raise my hand to give him a hard knock to the head, the moss head agrees with me by giving him one too. “Sorry, sorry.”

Sorry, my ass. Grumbling I take out the cigarette box before fishing in my pocket for a lighter. “Alright, Y/n was dragged off somewhere near the tower thing, so let’s head there to look for them first.”

“Yosh! Let’s go!” without a second thought, this reckless idiot rushes straight in, leaving us to catch up.

It didn’t even take long to reach the tower, the island was small. Which is why it surprised me how many of those things there were. How far had they burrowed under the island for there to be this many?

The mass practically moved as one when they noticed us. Descending on us with such ferocity that it would have left a weaker man feeling helpless.

“Sit back and watch, marimo! I’ll take them all out.”

“Big words for such a small man, curly.”

“You shitty- Watch me!” I ran in yelling the name of my starting attack ‘Joue Shoot’ hitting my mark right in the face and sending it, along with every creature behind it, flying.

We aren’t making any headway! Every time we push forward we are pushed back with the same strength. One after another, every enemy we took down bounced right back up, better and stronger than before.

The ones I was fighting got tougher, callused skin and became resistant to the fire from my ‘Hell Memories’ attack; and to make matters worse, those things have started learning my attacks, and a quick glance can confirm that the others are having the same luck. Luffy’s creatures are doubling their speed, increasing their bulging muscles so that they look like Luffy’s Kong Gun. Zoro’s opponents broke their arms, shanking their bones through their skin to make imitation swords.

These things are fucking monsters. They don’t seem to be able to feel any of the pain we’re inflicting. We can’t keep the same mindless pace they do! We take a hit and keep all damage from it!

“Luffy, this isn’t gonna work, we need to retreat for now!”

“Oi, shit-cook! You think these things are just gonna let us retreat!”

“Fuck off, pea-brain!” I kick one of the creatures over at Zoro, “Let’s make them chase us-” the stupid marimo threw on back in retaliation, “obviously they’re gonna chase us no matter what, ero-cook!”

“Just listen, dick head! We make them chase us around the tower; when they leave an opening we can just grab Y/n and run!” There’s no time to fight over this! I sky walk over to Luffy, “Let’s go! Now!”

“Come on, Zoro!” finally taking the hint, Luffy rushes off behind me. 

The monsters bolted with us to the right, but they were smarter than what I’d anticipated. While most of them did follow, there was still a large group guarding the entrance to the tower. They knew what we came for and won’t let us take Y/n so easily. We circled around the tower. Once. Twice. Three times, and still those things didn’t give us an opening. I can’t stand this! We’re just chasing our own tails here!

Impatience at away at us, but the first one to act on it was Luffy.

“They’ll never leave the tower alone! So if they won’t give us an opening we’ll make one!” Luffy threw his arms at me, a silent command that I understood all too well. “Armée de L’Air,” I positioned myself to throw Luffy, “Gomu Shot!” Launching Luffy off with a kick, he rocketed himself straight to the center of the tower.

The tower collapsed almost entirely on itself. Luffy would have just gone straight through it if he hadn’t reached back to hold on to the base and sent himself back in a rebound, effectively clearing the rest of the tower.

Rubble and ash covered the creatures as they all rushed back to the tower. “C’mon!” The moss-head shouted over to me, having seen the opening just as well as me.

. . .There’s something wrong.

The creatures surrounded the tower but weren’t fighting back when we attacked them to get past. They weren’t even moving. Just staring straight ahead to where Luffy should be. As odd as it is, I won’t slow down just because those freaks stopped. I need to get to-

I wasn’t prepared for this. It’s not…. It can’t.

No.

Luffy had a dark shadow casted over his face as he kneeled next to a bloody and gored out Y/n. Their neck was broken by the chain that pulled them away. Skin shredded off and placed in piles around the both of them. Their bones were broken. Protruding. Piercing through in white splayed out spikes from the pink muscles, slathered in blood. Their abdomen slashed open and organs ripped out.

Had the monsters been eating them?

Their arm missed its hand. The leg was torn off. A stray foot laid across from them, mangled. Bitten. 

If those things wanted to eat them they had done it already. They had plenty of time!

But they didn’t.

Looking into the horde of creatures. They all stood still, watching us. Grotesque faces with gnarled teeth bared at us…. Smiling. They're smiling at us.

"Damn it all! Those things were just toying with us."

The creatures went wild at my words. Screeching and shoving each other, but never passing the remaining debris of the pillar that still circled around us. They’re waiting for us to get out of here.

“We can’t stay here,” Zoro pointed at the back of the throng, “some of them have already left. Probably towards The Sunny.”

“Luffy, we can’t bring Y/n with us. They’ll be safe if we leave them inside the circle. In the morning we can bury them but for now, we need to head back the ship.”

-

No words were exchanged on the trip back. All three of us fought as much as we could against the wave of creatures that pursued us, eventually making it back to the ship by sunrise.

 The creatures hissed and hollered in pain when the soft rays of the sun became too much for them to handle. Their gray skin almost seemed transparent in the growing light.

Those thing’s bodies looked like luminescent meat bags carrying distorted skeletons inside. Too warped and bent to look anything like the humans they were initially mirrored after. The things clawed at their eyes, blinding themselves as they rushed back to hide in their caves.

After the last of the nocturnal creatures retreated, we docked the ship again.

Then the dreaded question came.

Nami asked if we’d managed to retrieve Y/n but she was only met with grim looks that turned the exhilaration of having won another breath of life sour. 

“It’s not fair! Y/n just wanted to be free… they just wanted...” Luffy trailed off, glancing back to where their body should be laid. “We should take them with us and bury them out of here.”

“It won’t be that easy, Luffy.” Zoro tried to reason with him.

“We can’t just leave them in this cage!”

“We don’t even have a coffin! Are we supposed to just stuff them in a box and keep them in the freezer until we can find the next island?!”

As much as I’d like to take them with us, Zoro does have a point. We can’t just carry around a brutalized body with us. “Luffy, we don’t know when we’ll reach the next island. It could be weeks! We can’t-”

“Yo,” A voice greets us from beside me.

“Hey,” I give them a quick glance before getting back to what I was saying. “Anyways, we can’t t-”

Was that?

.  .  .

“You’re supposed to be dead!” 

“Oh, shit. Am I?” Y/n’s tone was light, as if they hadn’t just been mauled to death by beasts. “The hell do you mean ‘am I’!?” 

Reader’s pov.

After being magically resurrected, one would think that people would be surprised, confused, or maybe astonished? But curly over here seemed pissed.

“Thanks for the warm welcome, bud.” Putting on the saddest looking face I turned around, “guess I’ll just crawl into a cave and die again...” 

“N-no, that’s not what I-” Sanji reached his hand out to stop me.

“Ahahaha I know, I know. Don’t worry about it….. Though I suppose I do owe you guys an explanation for this.” 

It’s been so long since I had to explain to someone what happened that day… 

No. 

It wasn't just that day. Things were off since before that, but I didn’t pay attention to the signs. God, why didn't I? 

I keep asking myself that.

Why didn't I back out when I had the chance? Why couldn't I just let sleeping dogs lie? 

Either way, on that day, everything went wrong.

-

Long ago, when the world was in a time of mystic and wonder, the practice of magic was common throughout the four blues. Most things that could be done with magic were done with magic. Magic was so common that even the most secluded tribes used some form of it. And so, as with any type of power, people began to abuse it. People began to use dark magic to rule and terrorize. 

Don’t get me wrong, magic isn’t inherently evil, but neither is it good. Magic is a form of science. It follows its principles and has its limits. People’s intentions, though, can be either-or.

Order had to be put in place. A council of the noblest, wisest, and strongest magic users was made. They became the authority; their rule was final. And in an act of democracy, they input a system that would not let them become all-powerful.

That’s where the seven covens come in.

The seven covens (separately) ruled over the four seas, the new world, the grand line, and the calm belts. The members of the covens were chosen by the people and, unfortunately, that’s where it started.

After magic regulation rules and laws came into place, people were angry that they couldn’t use it freely and unchecked as they did before. When the ones who were strong stood on top of those who lacked it. They couldn’t rule over people as tyrants or terrorize others for their amusement and gain; but it also meant magic couldn’t be used to ease everyday life either. Magic was monitored, you had to seek permission from a coven to use stronger types of magic for your work and some forms of magic were even banned.

Curious people that tried to see how far they could push the boundaries of magic were furious when their research was trashed. With magic now limited, underground organizations began to arise. I was part of one.

Since magic is a natural part of the world like waterfalls or clouds, that’s why I wanted to explore all of its nooks and crannies! It’s the same as when man first evolved enough to wonder what was beyond the island we were born into. 

We wanted to explore the whole world back then! And this should have been the same as that. It’s normal to want to know our extent of power and knowledge. I just wanted to explore magic’s limits and push past them. It should be like training to sword fight or lifting weights. It should have been the same.

We could have used our findings for so many wonderful things!

But I was naive.

Banning together with a group of people whom I thought shared the same passion for the unexplored and unknown….

In the shadows, we did our research and found so many new ways to use magic! So many new types! We were doing so good.

We wanted to find a way to bring what we’d found to the world.

We wanted this.

We…

I wanted this. 

As much as I want to believe otherwise, the signs were there from the beginning. But they were my colleagues. . . my friends. I gave them the benefit of the doubt at first.

We came up with a plan to get ourselves elected for the coven. We wormed our way in like maggots then ate our way up. 

We were going to instill new rules. Be more lenient towards magic usage for businesses. Introduce a research team for magic that would take us out of the underground. Slowly release our findings.

That was as far as I would go. They left me in charge of the research team while they went behind my back and found new dangerous and unstable magic. They used it to hurt people and to gain authority. 

They’d cart away lost civilians, people who were so forgotten from society that if they were to disappear no one would notice.

They breed them to keep their human supply going. Then they’d used them as guinea pigs.

Eventually, I did find out what they were doing, but by then it was too late. The plan had gone too well and now they were inside all of the covens except for the ones in east and west blue.

I tried warning the council, but my old comrades found out before I could.

They branded me a traitor and punished me with never-ending torment. Sealing me away in a whirlpool that would cancel my powers, where as long as I was inside I would never age. I would never die.

They put me on this island that would never bear enough fruit but would always have enough to have me desperate for scraps. Lastly, they added those things so that I’d fear their wrath and power for the rest of eternity.

Between slowly dying of hunger or dehydration over and over again and being mauled to death, the thing that hurt most was them branding ME as the traitor. They betrayed ME.

They USED me.

The people I thought of as friends.

-

Taking a deep breath, I finished off my story. 

“...Y/n… that was a really sad story and all, but what do you mean magic?” Out of all the questions, I didn’t expect Usopp to ask that one. 

“... what do YOU mean?” I shared a look with all the members of the crew. How could they not know about magic? It’s everywhere??? “Y’know magic. Like what brought me back to life and is keeping me from leaving this place.”

“Like witches, with wands and brooms?” As much as it worries me that they don’t know about magic, I have an even bigger question, “what the fuck do brooms have to do with this?” 

“Ah, well witches fly around... on them…” With every passing word, Usopp’s face got redder and redder, a telltale sign of his growing embarrassment under my judgmental gaze. “Of all things someone could make fly, why a broom?”

“I uh… I don’t know…”

  The conversation carried on until finally, they told me about the outside world. Apparently, the most magical thing that there was out there were the devil fruits that granted their users powers, like Luffy’s rubber body. 

In a way, I was kind of glad that almost all traces of magic were gone. That meant that my comrades from back then failed.

My guess is that after their reckless abuse of power, magic was banned; or at the very least only used by those of the highest standing.

In time, magic must have dwindled, little by little until it just disappeared. 

With so much time passed and with how things turned out, it’s hard to believe that any of my former friends survived.

That must mean that they tethered my cell to an object. If whatever the object is gets destroyed... I could have a chance of leaving this place.

“... Luffy… do you… do you still want to help me escape?”

Luffy’s voice didn't waver.

He said it as if it was the most obvious thing.

No hesitation. No doubt.

At that moment, I swear, the sun shone brighter than it ever had in this cage full of torment. His bright gaze made it feel like every horrid year I had spent trapped had somehow vanished. It gave me something that I hadn’t had in a long time.

He gave me such a knee-bending sense of hope that I could have cried. He had such conviction that it made me believe that I would soon see the outside once more.

In the evening, after I gave them some information that could help them find the object that kept this cage alive, the straw hats tempted the ferocious waters again and this time I wasn't on the ship.

Before they left they made me a promise.

One day, they will be back.

They will set me free and we’ll explore this new world together.

I’ll keep waiting.

No matter how long it takes, until that day.

[broadwaycantdie]

Disneyland / Part 2...The Destination! - Newsies (Pride) Month . Day 9

( all ) + ( modern ) + ( hc story )

a/n: i wanna go to disneyland so bad // also ah disney has pride merch now that’s so cute ! // ps. i will not make a 3rd part of the ride home cause that’s already too much lmao i just had a lot of fun with the road trip part i wanted to split it up

( this is part two of them actually at disneyland, click here for the road trip and journey of them getting here...it’s a wild one )

warnings: none

background: Every year the newsies all get together and go on their annual Disneyland trip. They drive from Manhattan to Anaheim because it’s cheaper than buying 20+ plane tickets. They also have a collective jar in the lodging house that everyone puts money into to help pay. Davey plans the whole thing for months and somehow things still go wrong. It’s never not a wild ride with their family. But every year they still enjoy it.

——————————————————————————

before they left the hotel, Davey made them plan everything out

it wasn’t a strict plan, but he knew that total freedom meant total chaos

he made a set of rules

rule #1 : you cannot be alone, stay with your buddy or a group at all times

rule #2 : meet back at the entrance after the fireworks so everyone can be counted and we can find people who are lost or don’t make it back in time and we can go to the hotel together

rule #3 : have fun

of course Davey would add “have fun” as a rule

he’d forget if he didn’t

they could barely sleep, everyone was so excited

so they got to the parks bright and early at 8am

they grouped themselves off

they ended up with 6 main groups

Jack, Davey, Bill, Darcy, Katherine, Sarah, and Les

Crutchie, Buttons, Henry, and Kenny

Specs, Romeo, Jojo, and Tommy Boy

Smalls, Sniper, and Finch

Mush and Kid Blink

Spot, Race, Albert, Elmer, Mike, Ike, Hotshot, Bart, and Myron

sometimes people broke into smaller groups depending on who wanted to go on what rides, when someone wanted to eat or didn’t, or when some people just wanted to be alone together

the smaller groups stayed together the whole time—Smalls’ group, Crutchie’s group, and Mush’s group—but the bigger groups sometime split up

especially Spot’s group

they started together but by the 3rd ride they split up

they would periodically meet up throughout the day to eat or ride certain rides

mainly the couples split up and the single friends stayed together

Davey and Jack left their group for a little while unexpectedly and it was actually Albert who found them making out in a bathroom stall

“Oh! So it’s like that now, huh? Way to go guys! Didn’t know you had it in ya!”

“You’re not gonna tell anyone, right, Dasilva? You know we aren’t usually like this...it just kinda happened yanno, happiest place on Earth and, uh, we were feeling that.”

“Oh, I can tell! Might wanna pick some tighter pants next time, Jacobs!”

the cocky bastard walked out, finally having something on Davey

he’d never let them live that down

Smalls’ favorite ride is Peter Pan’s Flight

they love that ride with all their heart and their group didn’t mind waiting in like for 45 minutes just to ride it

everyone—and i mean everyone—played heads up while waiting in line

it was just a given—that’s what you do

Race, Spot, Albert, and Elmer all got in a teacup together

it was absolutely chaos

while everyone else spun along nicely and enjoyed the ride

these boys used all of their combined strength—which was a lot—and spun themselves as fast as possible the whole time

Ike almost got sick just watching them

Katherine is a rollercoaster junkie

she rides every coaster and can’t get enough

Sarah also liked rollercoasters!

just not as much

but she does ride every one with Katherine and boy do they have fun

“Wow, I haven’t screamed that much since we left”

Katherine almost choked

( they shared a “special” night together right before they left so they could get a fill and not be as tempted like some other people )

everyone bought ears

it was like an unspoken rule that you had to get a pair every year

this year was special though

this was the first year that disney released its pride collection

so of course everyone was on that

Race spent most of his money on pride merch

he got rainbow shirt, ears, sunglasses, socks, and a pin

he was so happy about the collection, Spot secretly bought a pair of earrings from it and put one in just to see the look of joy on his boyfriends face

it was worth the money

Crutchie ate so many churros

half of his money went to just churros

worth it tho

Bill and Darcy really liked The Little Mermaid ride

obviously

Bill’s love of fish and Darcy’s love of mythical creatures

what other ride would they like more?

they cuddled up close in the seashell and watched the ride play out with so much happiness in their eyes

Sarah and Katherine took the iconic photo of “let’s kiss in front of the castle” and it was the cutest goddamn thing of all time

Mush and Kid Blink made out on Rodger Rabbit’s Cartoon Spin ride

but what’s new

everyone at some point rode Splash Mountain

it’d be a sin if you didn’t

Spot and Race rode it together

Race made Spot sit up front cause his big body could block most of the water

also because Spot was wearing a white t-shirt

“Damn, babe! You haven’t been that wet since the car ride here!”

Specs, Romeo, Jojo, and Tommy Boy all rode the Matterhorn together

and Specs glasses flew off his face during one of the quick turns

after the ride everyone was panicking but he just calmly pulled out a second pair of glasses from his backpack and continued on with his day; unbothered

Crutchie would never admit if his leg hurt but about halfway through the day while walking to the next ride he fell

his leg just gave out and he just sat on the floor trying not to cry

everyone with him helped him up and Buttons got him a wheelchair

it wasn’t all bad though

Crutchie and Buttons got to go to the front of all the lines!

somehow everyone got the idea to meet in toontown at the same time

everyone decided to get embroidered hats

most people got their name or the date or something cute

like Mush and Kid Blink got matching ones that said “Blush”

or how Kenny got one that said “Ken-Ken” cause that’s his nickname of his nickname

and Jojo and Tommy Boy got each other’s pet names on theirs—Jojo’s says “Darling” and Tommy Boy’s says “Sweetheart”

while Jack and Davey got the date of when they first met because it was instantly love at first sight

but some of these dumbasses...are dumbasses

Hotshot would never stoop down to that level of stupidity

so he got together the Brooklyn Boys and got hats that said just that

Mike and Ike have been dumbasses since birth

so their hats got their full names on them

you know

Mike’s said “Michael and Ichael”

and Ike’s said “Isaac and Misaac”

“Those aren’t your real names!”

“And? How would you know my names not Michael Misaac Garcia? And his isn’t Isaac Ichael Garcia? Huh?”

“I—“

Albert and Elmer didn’t get anything too crazy

but they did get a something that just they would understand

they got the date of the day they lost their virginity to each other

and when people ask they just say it’s the first time they said “i love you” to each other

and now Spot and Race

do these boys have ANY chill? ever?

they literally got a sex joke on theirs

Spot’s said “Calvary’s Coming”

and Race’s said “I’m Calvary”

dumbasses

but to even it out, they also got cute ones

cause they are a couple who can do both

so they got “tu sei amore” and “you are love “ on their second pair—Race’s was in Italian because that’s how he always says it to Spot to make him swoon, and Spot’s is the same in English for when he repeats it back

everyone was so scared of getting lost or losing someone

not only because that’s completely terrifying

but because Davey would never let them hear the end of it

for extra caution, some people held hands to not be separated—Katherine and Sarah, Jojo and Tommy Boy, Mush and Kid Blink, Bill and Darcy—some just had a mutual understanding to not wonder off—Specs and Romeo, Jack and Davey, Hotshot and Mike, Albert and Elmer—and some...well not some...just Race

Race was on a fucking leash

like one of those monkey backpacks with the leash for children who wander off

cause every year Race gets lost so this year no one was gonna risk it

Spot holds on to the leash and everytime Race starts running towards another ride he yanks him back

he’s fallen a few times

and every time, mr. dramatic himself will pull the “woe is me” routine and wouldn’t get up until Spot lifted him up

he tried to get Spot to carry him and it only worked once when he actually cut his knee on the ground

it might’ve looked weird but hey, at least Race didn’t get lost this year

when it got dark they all went to the firework show and watched the magic

all the couples decided to be cute and take the “kissing my partner at the fireworks” pics

and they were all fucking adorable

some were soft and cute while others were a little saucier

but they all came out really good

they all met up where Davey told them to meet and they actually all made it there in one piece!

what a surprise! actually!

they all went back to the hotel full of joy, love, and happiness

and they couldn’t wait to go back next year <3

[ghiblichallengesims4]

STUDIO GHIBLI CHALLENGE

Generation One: Kiki’s Delivery Service (Berrified Color: Cherry Red)

You’ve spent your entire life living in the countryside and crave the energy of a bustling city. The catch is that the big city is expensive, and you’ve only got the clothes on your back and your beloved cat. How will this work out?! Maybe that weird kid you keep running into could help you out…

Traits: Ambitious (roll/pick rest)

Aspiration: City Native

Start in San Myshuno

You must live in a studio apartment with three negative lot traits, and you cannot move or change said lot traits. Any positive lot traits are banned.

You must start with a cat in your household

Max your cooking, baking, and handiness skills

Attend all city festivals, and I do mean all of them, unless something more important (I.E. work/parenting) gets in the way.

You can have two kids maximum.

Generation Two: Whisper of the Heart (Berrified Color: Yellow)

Living in the city isn’t for everyone. Growing up in a horrible studio apartment has made you pretty jaded, but hey, your writing skills are amazing!

Now if only that stupid jerk would leave you alone…

Traits: Creative, Gloomy (roll/pick rest)

Aspiration: Bestselling Author

Stay in San Myshuno, but you can move if you wish.

Max your writing, violin, and cooking skills

Marry someone who you start out having a poor relationship with, but repair said relationship with.

Max out writer career

Have at least one child, three maximum.

Generation Three: Spirited Away (Berrified Color: White or  Light Grey)

Oh no, a family vacation went terribly wrong, and you’ve been separated from your family, and you’re trapped in…well, whatever this place is. Maybe if you work for this grouchy old lady, you can go home?

Traits: Good (roll/pick rest)

Aspiration: Soulmate

Move to Forgotten Hollow as a child, and live with a family of vampires.

Do not contact your family in San Myshuno until you’re a young adult

Change your name when you move to Forgotten Hollow, and if you remember your heir’s original name off the top of your head without writing it down, looking it up on your blog, or from any mnemonic devices, you can return to San Myshuno!

However, if you CAN’T remember your heir’s original name, you must transform them into a vampire and keep them in Forgotten Hollow.

Max your handiness, cooking, gardening, and vampire lore skills.

Marry the vampire closest to your age (who you may or may not have had an encounter with when you were younger…) once you become a young adult.

Must have at least four children, all of whom are vampires.

Generation Four: Ponyo (Berrified Color: Fuchsia)

You’re not quite human, but you wish with all your heart that you were! Your rebellious spirit led you to a seaside town, and possibly to the love of your life. Hopefully your parents won’t follow you…

Traits: Self-Assured, Childish (roll/pick rest)

Aspiration: Friend of the World

Move to Brindleton Bay.

Cure your vampirism!

Marry the first (single) person you meet in your new town, but only after you really get to know them.

Max your cooking, charisma, mischief, and gardening skills.

Your spouse must master the fishing skill.

You can only have three children. No more, no less.

Generation Five: From Up on Poppy Hill (Berrified Color: Ocean Blue)

One of your parents died when you were young, which has always weighed on you. You hope that if you keep raising the flags every morning, they’ll come home. Doing this on top of taking care of your siblings and your grandparents’ bed and breakfast running is taking its toll on you.

Will your life ever become interesting?

Traits: Family-Oriented (pick/roll rest)

Aspiration: Super Parent

Stay in Brindleton Bay.

Max your parenting, cooking, gardening, handiness, and fishing skills.

Have at least 8 sims in your household, and have the majority of them not be related to you.

Join/form a club in high school, and work for it to succeed. (For bonus points, build a grungy old clubhouse and fix it up as the club gets more successful!)

Marry someone you meet in high school who has similar genetics to you, but isn’t related by blood.

Have at least two kids, but more than two are encouraged!

Generation Six: Arrietty (Berrified Color: Light Green)

The world is a mysterious place, do you think you know all of its secrets just yet?

Traits: Kleptomaniac (pick/roll rest)

Aspiration: The Curator

Adopt a very fat cat.

Attend every flea market that happens during this generation and buy at least five things every time.

Find every possible collectible in the game.

Steal at least 10,000 Simoleans’ worth of goods from your neighbors’ homes.

Buy the most expensive dollhouse in the game at the beginning of the generation, and do not sell it until the generation is over.

Max your handiness, cooking, and mischief skills.

For bonus points, use cheats to scale down your sims and their objects!

Have two children. No more, no less. This will make sense in the next generation.

Generation Seven: My Neighbor Totoro (Berrified Color: Dark Grey)

You’ve been living in harmony with nature for almost four generations now, but there’s still secrets hiding around every corner!

Traits: Childish (pick/roll rest)

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Max your gardening, mischief, and cooking skills.

Grow every plant in the game.

Discover all secret worlds.

Have one of the two children this generation “go missing” by having them move out for at least a week, and do not contact them. If you find them on a community lot, you’ve “found” them and can add them back into the household!

Have at least two children.

Generation Eight: Princess Mononoke (Berrified Color: Dark Red)

Your family hasn’t split up much, for good reason. After a terrible curse comes over you, you have to go out on your own to save yourself and your entire family.

Traits: Self-Assured, Athletic (pick/roll rest)

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

Move out of your family home to the neighborhood of your choosing (NOT San Myshuno, though)

Max your herbalism, logic, and handiness skills.

Travel to Granite Falls at least five times, and meet your spouse there.

Discover the secret neighborhood in Granite Falls

Have your spouse max out their painting skill, and reach the top of the painter career.

Adopt two large wolf-like dogs.

Have at least one child.

Generation Nine: Castle in the Sky (Berrified Color: Peach)

Life is good. You’ve got a decent job, and your family is out of the woods from all that “supernatural” stuff. It can’t exist, right?

RIGHT?!

Traits: Loner, Ambitious (roll/pick rest)

Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Max your handiness, logic, and cooking skills.

Move back to San Myshuno, and live in the same crappy apartment the founder lived in, but it’s become much more worn down over the years. (If possible, add the “Needs TLC” trait to it.)

Stay below level 5 at your job.

Meet a sim at a festival who seems to be normal, but has…something very strange about them. This is your spouse.

Have at least five children. The youngest is your heir.

Generation Ten: Howl’s Moving Castle (Berrified Color: Orange)

Tacky hat shops; they’re the thing that everyone takes for granted. You’ve lived in San Myshuno for your whole life, and you’ve taken the back seat to your older, “prettier” siblings.There’s talk about a wizard living on the edge of town, but that’s just hogwash, isn’t it?

…Wait, did someone just come in the front door? Didn’t you lock that a few minutes ago?

Traits: Creative, Family Oriented, Dog Lover

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Buy a business and convert it into a “tacky” hat shop.

Change your heir into an elder once they age up to YA, then age them backwards until they reach teen. (I.E. When they’re within a few days of dying of old age, change them to an adult. Then when they’re about to age up to an elder again, change them to a young adult, and so on. Once they age “down” to a teen, let them age naturally again.)

Adopt an “ugly” small dog.

Have an unrelated child live in your household, and move them out once they age up to YA.

Have an unrelated old woman live in your household until she dies.

Marry a “wizard” who you start the generation with a poor relationship with.

Max your painting, woodworking, and cooking skills.

Have a child after becoming a YA naturally.

Once your last child becomes a YA, you complete the challenge!

Created By: @ssoulpeace 

[along-the-devils-backbone]

Nothing like waking up, vomiting the entire contents of your gut into the toilet, and then having your mom immediately bombard you with how terrible your dad’s gift was, how he hated it, insulted it, and then proceeded to bitch about it the rest of the day, because he’s an entitled fucking prick whose only hobbies are weed, and sucking Trump’s Dick -- both things I can’t really buy gifts for. 

So y’know... today has started out great! 

He doesn’t smoke out of pipes, bongs, or flavored paper. He doesn’t use zippo lighters so i can’t get him a fancy case. I’m not going to buy him weed because it’s still illegal where I live. I refuse to get him anything political. He doesn’t have a CD player or a Stereo so i can’t get him anything music that i know he likes. He doesn’t wear band t-shirts or hats, or fucking anything that isn’t camouflage shirts with the sleeves cut off and carharts. I can’t afford to give him a tattoo. He’s forbidden from eating his favorite candy because of a medical condition. He’s super fucking picky about food in general, so i can’t give him anything like that. He owns nearly every tool imaginable and doesn’t use them -- and when we BUY him tools in the past, it’s always the wrong one, something he already had, or he’s still not impressed because we didn’t spend ENOUGH on the tool(s). He breaks coffee mugs constantly, and just handing him a damn gift card feels super fucking shitty, so despite the fact that he’s a picky asshole who’s impossible to shop for, we STILL try to get him a gift custom for him. 

So the one thing i know he DOES like, is Nesquick chocolate milk. He loves it so much he buys a container of it and hides it in his room so he doesn’t have to share. So this year, we bought him a set of glasses with the bunny on it, super long spoons to stir it with so your fingers aren’t in the milk, and a thing of Nesquick in a gift set. 

He hated it. 

Said we “didn’t put any thought into it at all”, and that he threw out the cups and spoons because they were “childish and stupid”. Mum fished them out of the trash and said the rest of the family will use them then. 

Last year i spent weeks painting a cedar box for him. Lined it myself with red felt (his favorite color), hand painted a rose (his favorite flower he has 2 tattoos of), and filled it with his favorite candy (or so i thought). He didn’t say thank you, wow that’s nice, oh did you make this, or anything. Threw out the candy because i bought dark chocolate instead of normal -- didn’t even offer it to anyone. Gave the box to my uncle a few months later because he “didn’t know what the fuck to use it for.” (a box for his stash? something to put his ugly ass jewelry in? Somewhere to store all of his extra ego? A box to keep his vibrator with Trump’s face glued to it? idk. Still hurt like fuck.) 

So I don’t know what the fuck he wants. Next year maybe i’ll just rip the stick out of his ass and wrap it up for him. I’m done trying. 

He even went out of his way to insult the gift we got mom (a porcelain hummingbird ornament to add to her hummingbird collection) and mom got offended. 

Know what he got me for Xmas? 

A $5 computer mouse with Grandma floral print on it, a Monster High Doll (the kind you can’t bend the arms and legs on), and some scratch-it-off art kit meant for 10 year olds. Because he SUPER knows me!!! But at least I didn’t bitch about it and throw them out >.> 

Dick. 

[missytearex]

To Read List - Tomlinshaw

This list is purely for myself to keep track of everything I still want to read. Its gonna change as I actually read though them and find more stuff to add.

Find fics I’ve already read here.

Tomlinshaw

Getting Good At This by pukeandcry

Nick inherits custody of his baby god-daughter, and (predictably) has no idea what he’s doing; Louis only means to help out a bit, not fall in love with either of them. (A loosely-adapted Life As We Know It AU)

Portions For Foxes by pukeandcry

“You know how Tommo is about dares,” Harry says, laughing once, without any humor.

“An idiot,” Nick supplies, feeling a bit dazed. “But he’s always like that, so.”

Or, Louis injures himself, and somehow Nick winds up taking care of him.

(beginning at the singular beginning of your smile) by alison

Harry has a thing for Nick. Nick has a thing for someone else. That person is Harry’s best friend.

Louis’ life gets a little complicated. He blames science.

Holding Out For A Hero (I Feel Like Chicken Tonight) by sunsetmog

Nick could say no, he could, but he doesn’t. He likes picking up a drunk and sleepy Louis, who pokes through Nick’s music collection and criticises all of it, or demands that they drive to the late night KFC because he needs chicken and then falls asleep holding a bag of chips two minutes out of the drive through lane. He likes making fun of a drunk Louis Tomlinson, and waking him up when he gets home.

He even likes that it’s their secret, that no one else ever knows that this is a thing that happens, a thing that they sometimes do.

The Sky At Night by sunsetmog

There’s a little piece of paper on his bedside table, torn from the bottom of a notepad.

Insomnia Alliance, it says, in Louis’s chicken scratch handwriting. 9pm-7am, then the telephone number.

Or: Louis can’t sleep, and Nick’s the one who answers the phone in the middle of the night.

It’s Only A Beginning by sunsetmog

No, this year was not going better than last year, because last year he was with his friends, and everything was okay, and it wasn’t the case that every single last thing was crap. Last year he wasn’t the stupid sixth former who’d failed his AS levels and had had to move stupid schools to do them again.

In which the only good thing in Louis’s life was the person he talked to on Tumblr every night.

Gave My Heart Out by sunsetmog

“We could give them a home,” he said softly. “It doesn’t need to be a baby, right? Nobody loves those kids and I reckon we could love them.”

“Yeah.” Nick found Louis’s hand. “I reckon we could love them.”

Blanket Forts and Cups of Tea by sunsetmog

“Is knobhead the password?”

“No.”

Or, the one where Louis builds a blanket fort and Nick gets upset about teaspoons.

We Used To Wait by sunsetmog

The BBC Breaking News Twitter just says, One Direction star Louis Tomlinson rushed to hospital after M25 car crash.

or: Louis has an accident, but nobody even knows he and Nick are going out.

Not Your Fault But Mine by sunsetmog

It’s the beginning of Louis’ second year at uni, and he’s sharing a house with his four best friends in the world. This is going to be the best fucking year ever, Louis can just tell. The best fucking year ever.

Wooing for Beginners by sunsetmog

There’s a girl at school Louis is dying to impress, but Louis ends up impressing Nick instead.

A sort-of bookshop/high school/Saturday job AU with extra baking and not enough fish fingers.

This Must Be The Time by sunsetmog

Nick’s never been the kind of boy to have a long-term boyfriend. There’s always been other stuff that’s been more interesting, stuff that’s held his attention more than the boys in his bed. It’s different with Louis.

Or: Louis and Nick come out: featuring flashbacks, goats, a determined Harry Styles and one very wet experience on the log flume.

Tourbox by sunsetmog

On Friday, Harry brings him a packet of pink wafer biscuits and a little plastic net of marbles. “These are for you,” he says, before very politely sitting on Louis’ stairs and taking off his shoes, then hanging his coat over the bannister.

“Cool,” Louis says, which is all you can really say if you’re faced with biscuits that aren’t really biscuits and a bag of marbles. “Do you want tea?”

Nice Everything, I Suppose (Vodka and Tinsel Remix) by sunsetmog

In which Nick and Louis both work for the local radio station, and as junior junior production assistant’s assistant, Louis is charged with organising Cropley FM’s annual Christmas party.

This Is Your Fault (Where Circumference Is Irrelevant, and Length Matters) by sunsetmog

In which Nick wakes up in Louis Tomlinson’s body, Nick and Louis compare dick sizes, and Nick’s fairly sure he can lay the blame firmly at Harry “bloody awful secret wizard” Styles’ door for all of this and more.

I Had Rather Hear My Dog Bark At A Crow by sunsetmog

The first time Louis Tomlinson kisses him, Nick is three sheets to the wind, wearing a pirate hat, and so fucking tired of Louis being a complete and utter knobhead that he’s spent the last ten minutes snapping at him.

The kiss takes him rather by surprise, all things considered.

Or: Nick and Louis don’t like each other, not even a little bit, not even at all.

it’s miserable and magical by estrella30

“Since when do we accept morning drinks from enemy lines?” Nick asks flatly. The coffee cup has rolled toward his foot, and Nick stomps on it with his boot, grinning as the cup splits down the middle.

“Enemy lines. Please.” Matt shakes his head and huffs. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic, Grimmy?”

“No.” His mobile has finally gone silent, but that’s no better. A quiet Louis Tomlinson is just a Louis Tomlinson who hasn’t figured out how to piss you off again yet. Nick’s figured this out over time. “Not at all.”

OR - Nick is regular Nick on Radio1 but all of 1D are various DJ’s and they all work together. And then Tomlinshaw happens.

light my heart up baby like a matchstick by estrella30

Nick leans back in his seat and watches Louis bounce around the room fiddling with the levels on the soundboard and getting out all the pages for the adverts and links Nick needs for the morning. Louis is humming quietly under his breath, his mouth quirked in a tiny grin and Nick thinks that it would be a whole lot easier to actually hate Louis and everything about him if he weren’t so bloody attractive.

Meant To Crush Your World by alnima

When Nick gets home from his walk with Puppy there’s a note taped to his door, a sheet of paper with messy scrawl on it that reads, sorry for nothing. Nick growls, yanking the paper off the door and crumbling it up, throwing it across the hall towards Louis and Harry’s apartment before he disappears into his own, letting Puppy off her leash and getting to work.

Nick will be damned if he’s going to let an overgrown-monster of a child continue to ruin his life.

Just In Case by alnima

Nick’s convinced she looks like Louis, knows that she can’t, but he’s convinced she has his eyes, and his lips. She’s beautiful, he can see that, but he’s still not sure how this all happened. How Nick Grimshaw, president of the ‘Love Is For Idiots Who Don’t Know How To Have A Good Time And Live Their Own Lives’ club became a devoted boyfriend… and father.

but if you close your eyes by alnima

The four times Nick tries to tell Louis that he loves him and the one time that Louis lets him.

follow the marks you left by carissima

Nick looks up at him in surprise before he settles more comfortably in his chair, letting his pen bounce off the paper he’s been writing on a few times before he grins at Louis. “Hello Louis Tomlinson, fancy seeing you here.”

“It’s my second home, innit?” Louis says easily. He’s not even sure it’s a lie.

“Well it’s certainly becoming mine this year,” Nick says with a roll of his eyes. “Are you here to help Simon then? Should I be fraternising with the enemy?”

The phrasing makes Louis pause, and he idly kicks off his Vans, leaving them sprawled under the desk. “I could go, if you like,” he says, completely insincerely as he leans back in the chair and crosses his arms.

boyfriend material (that’s what you’re made of) by carissima

“What a nice lad,” Pete says, making Nick jump in surprise. He turns to find his parents standing side by side, staring at him with identical smiles on their faces. Nick’s gaze narrows as his eyes dart between his parents.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess he’s alright,” Nick says warily.

“So is he your special someone then?” his mum bursts out, and oh god, she’s actually giddy.

or the one where Nick accidentally tells his parents that he’s dating Louis Tomlinson from One Direction.

lost in the dark by carissima

“Please come get me.”

i’ll come around by carissima

“Grimmy thinks you’re pretty,” Harry says idly.

“Obviously,” Louis scoffs. “Wait. What?”

wait for me to come home by carissima

Nick comes home to find his future husband in bed. It’s a bit of a surprise, all things considered.

Time-travel fic.

it’s a beautiful night (we’re looking for something dumb to do) by carissima

In which Nick ends up in Vegas for Harry’s half-birthday and leaves with a famous popstar husband in tow.

Call Me Curious by carissima

Nick and Louis hate each other. Except there’s also flirty texts.

Not A Fan by carissima

Nick ends up at one of Louis’ charity football matches with Harry. Turns out that Nick’s a bit of a fan, but don’t tell Louis. Side Harry/Liam.

but tonight (you’re on my mind) by allwaswell16

Nick’s friendship with the lead singer of Seventy Eight has come with a new circle of people including an entrancing, blue eyed drummer. But what brings them together can also tear them apart.

Know You Know You Got It Bad by taggiecb

“I heard you on the radio.” Louis says. Okay, definitely not what he expected to hear.

“Yes, I am on five days a week, sometimes more.” Nick replies. Seriously, what is up with this kid?

“No no. That’s not what I meant.” Louis shakes his head and sighs heavily, as though Nick is the one being cryptic. “I heard what you said. To Fifi.” Louis pauses, but Nick takes a cue and stays quiet. He has a feeling that the more he talks, the longer this thing is going to draw out. Suddenly Louis is getting close, really close. Like, so close that Nick is wondering if Louis is about to kiss him. He doesn’t of course, he’s moving to talk into Nick’s ear. Which, Nick isn’t going to lie, affects him almost as much as a kiss might. The boy is fit. “About the chains and whips.”

Now it’s Nick’s turn to blush and fumble

Or Where a glib comment on the radio leads to one very interesting few weeks for Nick.

Do You Smile To Tempt a Lover by allwaswell16

Nick Grimshaw is entranced by Louis, his very beautiful, very cheeky new coworker at The National Portrait Gallery. He watches him day after day, wondering what he’s furiously typing on his laptop over lunch. With a little help from the very bored barista in the gallery cafe, Nick finds himself growing closer to Louis than he ever dreamed possible.

Somebody Hurt You (I Know A Place) by Writcraft

An unexpected encounter brings Nick and Louis together but before they can tell anyone about their relationship an attack on Louis tears them both apart. Nick struggles to deal with the fact Louis no longer remembers their time together as Louis struggles with his injuries and nightmares in the aftermath of the attack. Together they help one another to heal and learn how to love all over again.

The Disgruntled Novelist's Bodacious Pornographer (or, that time Nick and Louis were rival romance writers) by aliferuined

The day Nick releases his latest novel, Velvet Abyss - the very same day - Louis Tomlinson drops an unannounced online novella. It’s called The Pearl of the Pirate’s Booty, and it’s about nudist pirates living on a space station on one of Saturn’s moons.

Once every day your life starts again by blackmustache

Somewhere in a non-specific not-too-distant future, Louis gets a mild case of amnesia and forgets he's dating Nick. Nick has to remind him how the hell that happened.

hold on for one more day by disgruntledkittenface

“Right? Anyway, s’not like he needs to put the reminder, if anyone’s going to fuck up live on air–” “It’d be you,” they say at the same time.

Louis appears on The Breakfast Show to promote Back to You.

All the Silver Moons by YesIsAWorld

Nick wakes up in a strange hotel room and is apparently visiting Louis on tour. Which is really weird, because Louis doesn't like him and they've never hung out without Harry as a buffer. And clearly Louis thinks they're *together* together and Nick hasn't the faintest idea what's going on.

This is different than in the movies! by definitelynotafan

In which Nick's new flat is haunted and the ghost has a weird thing about shoes.

I'll Be Your Pride by YesIsAWorld

Louis needled Nick into riding the Ferris wheel with him so he wouldn't have to ride alone. Of course, they get stuck at the top and Louis has to help Nick through his paralyzing fear of heights.

It’s Like I’m Shootin' With Broken Arrows by Saori

Road trips are fun if you're going with someone you can connect with. Riding on the highway with the radio on, eating junk food, taking selfies and making meaningless conversations, bantering about directions...

That's not exactly the case with Nick and Louis. There might be less connecting and more bickering.

or, Nick and Louis miss the last plane, and they have two days to get to France. Traveling together might be the worst and best decision in their lives.

If This Is To End In Fire by Jiksa

Apocalypse makes it sound a lot more glamorous than it actually is.

your crooked sleep beside me by nicalyse

Louis Tomlinson is unexpected.

In which Louis comes on the Breakfast Show and Nick starts to fall for him.

Go On, I Dare You by PwoperNinjaElf

Nick and Louis are camp counsellors that have spent their past few summers working at an American summer camp, eager for the paid trip abroad, but far less keen on one another. On the final day of camp last summer though, they ended up drunkenly hooking up, but never spoke about it again. Nick's still not entirely sure what went down and why Louis bailed on him, but it's okay. He's just going to ignore it. Ignore Louis, which shouldn't be too hard considering that's what he's been doing for the past few years already anyway. This summer is going to be just like all the others, honestly, nothing's changed...

An American summer camp AU, featuring two stupid boys who keep getting their wires crossed, a host of other familiar faces, all the old school band t-shirts and a camp that should probably keep a better check on their counsellors.

Those Summer Nights by YesIsAWorld

Nick’s whirlwind summer romance ended when he left his dad’s beach house. Now it’s the first day of senior year, and Nick needs to avoid both the most popular boy at school and his friends’ probing questions.

There Now, Steady Love by Jiksa

Nick's just had his heart broken, Louis is surprisingly careful with it.

Or, the one where Nick's a small time radio DJ & Louis's a single dad trying to make it as a musician.

Give Me One More Night With You by EmmyLouWho

Louis turns up at Nick’s door on Saturday night, carrying a bottle of wine that he’d picked out at random at a Sainsburys on the way there.

He’d spent ages trying to figure out what you were supposed to wear when you’re going over to somebody’s house so they can thank you for looking after their dog but really you were effectively keeping their dog hostage and you also think that that person is really cute and you’re trying not to be weird about it. His Google search had been, perhaps unsurprisingly, not very helpful.

Or, the one where Pig turns up on Louis' doorstep one day, and Louis has a crush.

Cigarette in my left hand, whole world in my right hand by wearetheluckyones

Harry's had some really bad ideas before, starting with the time he got pissed and jumped into the Thames stark naked, but this might take the fucking cake. Offering up Louis as a viable option for a model for Nick's last photography project is ludicrous at best and a disaster waiting to happen at worst.

you can't take the sky from me by mrsenjolras

“Alright,” Nick says eventually. “You can stay till our next stop. But it’s not gonna come free.” Louis stiffens. He’s got money, sure, but he’s worried that that’s not the kind of payment Nick is looking for. “Oh, don’t look so scared,” Nick says, though. “We’re not stopping till we’re in the next system. Can you work?”

“Oh,” Louis says, relieved. “Yeah, I can do pretty much anything.”

“Great, well, welcome aboard the Pig Dog,” Nick says, extending a hand out for Louis to shake. Louis takes it, decidedly not thinking about how it’s larger than his own and also very warm and quite soft, and instead cocks his head.

“Wait, your ship is called the Pig Dog?”

[Or: the one where Louis stows away and gets more than he bargained for.]

(no such thing as) ordinary, love by dizzy

Nick is an Uber driver in London and Louis ends up passed out in the back seat of his car.

some velvet morning, years too late by tintedglasses

A better adult probably would have changed their emergency contact information once they had convinced said contact that they wanted nothing to do with them, but Louis had never been very good at proper adult things. Besides, it’s not like he thought he’d ever need it.

Or: Louis wakes up in the hospital with unfinished business at his bedside. Turns out Nick has some unfinished business, too.

Now that you're here, I never want you to leave by wearetheluckyones

“You like him,” He sing-songs, tugging off the pasta container’s lid.

“Go fuck yourself.” Nick tells him as he finds plates, no actual bite behind his words. “Did you get the extra garlic bread? You ate it all last time.”

“You gonna ask him out?” Harry asks, taking the two foil wrapped garlic breads from the bag and putting them on the counter.

“I’m gonna give you the same answer I gave you last time you asked me that.”

“You’re into him, he’s into you, what’s the big deal?” Harry asks, frowning, accepting the plate Nick hands him and dumping half the container of bacon and feta gnocchi onto it, and half the container of penne arrabbiata next to it. “You should just ask him out. There’s no harm in trying.”

-*-*-

Or, the one where Louis's a drummer, Nick's a radio DJ, and Louis's dogs are menaces.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. by wrongtree

Louis and Nick buy a Christmas tree and are in love.

i hate cards and card shops: a short story by nightwideopen

Get better right now or else.

An ode to Nick’s frustrations while card shopping.

stuck on you by clairdeloune

“Please tell me you’re joking."

“I’m completely serious,” Nick replies calmly, even as the corner of his mouth twitches.

“I’m not letting you call our dog Stinky,” Louis protests.

nothing hidden in your head by serenityandtea

Nick has a popstar cuddled up in his lap and ITV is showing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

 “You know,” Louis speaks up a couple minutes later, his hand stroking Stinky’s fur. “I always thought I’d rock a Slytherin tie. What do you reckon?”

“I think you’d look great in-” Nick pauses. Yellow? Purple? “-blue?”

hi hater, kiss kiss by MediaWhore

Nick has had a crush on Louis Tomlinson ever since he first saw him perform on the x-factor. Almost four years later, he's finally accepted that their ongoing, unstoppable feud is the only thing the two of them will ever share. One game of Call or Delete with Niall Horan, however, starts to shake this belief.

Almost Feels Like Nothing's Changed at All (If You Close Your Eyes) by Hllangel

It's a general rule that Nick is never more than about two inches from his phone, but for all the teasing he gets about it from everyone he knows, he's never been more glad about it than he is right now. The tweet went out about two minutes ago, but it's basically blown up his notifications, and probably his life. Shit. Shit.

baby, we're the new romantics by annemari

Louis leans forward and shouts over the whole room, "Hey, Grimmy, what did you do to your hair? Had a fight with a lawn mower?"

Louis has never been very good at volume control.

Or the one where Louis insults Nick's hair, and then tries to apologise. A lot.

Locked In by takhallus

For the prompt 'Louis and Nick wake up handcuffed together'.

Canon compliant.

a boy for all seasons by words_unravel

Over the course of a year, in bits and pieces, Louis and Nick fall in love.

Lean Your Ear This Way by alison

Louis accompanies Harry to the Radio 1 Christmas party.

Here's to the Assholes and the Last Calls by alison

Louis gets drunk and declares his love for Nick. Nick won't kiss him.

Post-It Notes and Everything by takhallus

Louis has a grand plan to explain to Nick how they're not actually enemies and how they should start having sex as soon as possible.

I'd get down on my knees for you by thephysicsofstandingstill

Nick knows that when Louis gets like this, it takes more than a cuddle and a cup of tea to set things right.

different arrangements by weddingbells

louis likes football and sometimes he likes dick, and the world is very aware of one of those things and not the others. and when louis goes to ibiza, he meets a stranger.

We could start over again by Conscious_ramblings

Louis has been with Aiden for six months but it's not working. Aiden is the wrong person at the right time, and it's hard to leave someone who you have twisted your life with. Someone you are shopping for crockery for their Nan in John Lewis with.

An argument over Christmas shopping sends Louis into the hand of another, another who is female and definitely not wanting to buy Louis a cup of tea.

But there is someone else, someone who might be the right person at the right time. Someone happy to buy him tea, and shots, and scotch eggs.

A little christmassy tale of tomlinshaw and blow jobs and smut and kink...

Constantly on the Cusp by shiftylinguini

It’s 5 in the morning, and Nick’s got an alarm going off, an unexpected bed full of pop star, and a nation to wake up.

It’s far too fucking early for this.

less catfishing, more cats by alison

Nick drops his head back, too tired from a long day at the shop to put up a real fight. “I'd rather you used a crap photo. I'd rather this was a joke.”

“Nothing funny about this,” Ian mutters seriously, eyes scanning whatever he's written. Probably something along the lines of almost-but-not-quite fit bloke approaching middle age seeks a warm body to curl up to at night, not picky, terribly lonely and sad.

(Nick's friends sign him up for a dating site against his will. He's going to replace them with cats.)

protective tomlinshaw defcon 10 by ariadne_odair

He also wants to kiss him a lot. That could possibly be a problem. Or a solution. Nick’s brain is a bit fuzzy from the shots.

“Wait a moment,” Nick scowls. “Are you slagging me off because I haven’t been a prick to you?"

Prompt: okay but where is a fic where nick and louis banter endlessly and say rude shit to each other 24/7 but as soon as either of their friends try to do the same it’s protective tomlinshaw defcon 10

To Err is Human, To Rim Divine by Conscious_ramblings

This is the cautionary tale about the mistakes we make that lead to love when we decidedly aren’t looking.

Louis made three errors. Three errors that led him to be tied to a bed, magic 8 ball buttplug firmly inside him, with his sadistic arse of a boyfriend teasing him mercilessly. Three errors that he doesn’t actually regret, not even a little bit, but never tell Nick that.

The only way is up again by becka

Record shop owner Louis is dumped by his long-time boyfriend and wonders if he should resign himself to tedium and dying alone. But there are plenty of people record shop employee Niall can call on to help get Louis back on his feet, including a fit Radio 1 DJ. A (significantly altered) High Fidelity AU.

be my one and only? (aubergine emoji) by hazmesentir

AU. Nick and Louis aren't in a relationship. Definitely not. (And specifically not if Harry asks).

a man on a wire by weddingbells

When Louis can't relax all Harry can do is try to get him to try yoga. So there Louis is, a phone number from Harry supposed to go to a yoga instructor only that it doesn't, because the person on the other end is Nick Grimshaw and things isn't quite going the way they were planned to go. Or...

lost my senses, i'm defenceless by clairdeloune

“You told Nick Grimshaw what?” Louis asks calmly. He can be so calm. He’s the best at being calm, no matter what Liam says. He can match Harry’s calm with his own calm, won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing Louis freak out, no way.

“I told him you’d get papped wearing something from his collection,” Harry repeats and there’s so much fucking glee in his voice, like he’s stupidly proud of coming up with that idea.

Something Personal by checkthemargins

Nick is a young, renown neurosurgeon. Harry is his worker-minion. Liam is Harry's new boyfriend. Louis is Harry's best friend and an absolutely wretched little monster, and Nick is stupidly, stupidly in love with him.

Solo Holiday by colourexplosion

With trembling hands and his pulse rabbiting in his neck, Louis looks at the brochures. SOLO HOLIDAY one of them says in big red letters. The other is a ticket for a twelve day cruise around the Eastern Mediterranean.

(Louis goes on a singles' cruise. He meets Nick.)

War Games by driveinbingo

If Nick had wanted a normal relationship, he probably shouldn't have given his entire heart to professional competitive asshole Louis Tomlinson.

Let's Not Fight in Vegas by YesIsAWorld

Louis really should have told Nick that he was head over heels before Nick and Harry walked down the aisle.

Won't Fall by goseaward

Louis needs a new bartender. Niall finds Nick Grimshaw.

same mistakes by words_unravel

Louis may or may not be attracted to a certain Nick Grimshaw.

Nick Grimshaw may or may not be able to stop thinking about one Louis Tomlinson.

Too bad they each think the other is dating Harry Styles.

Hey, Angel by Writcraft

Nick's a Guardian Angel who finds himself booted down to earth for snogging a demon. The weather is far too hot for rainbow wings, Nick's developed an unexpected allergy to feathers and he's trapped in the Hollywood Hills with a popstar who's driving him absolutely batshit. Is this hell?

One Foot In Your Bedroom & One Foot Out the Door by littlepinkbow

Louis was busy falling in love with Nick and Nick was busy not realising that he and Louis were even in a functioning relationship. Do people celebrate anniversaries of dysfunction?

Or the one where it all starts with a trap remix of Best Song Ever and a few too many drinks.

Not a Bloody Thing by checkthemargins

This thing that Nick has with his intern's friend really isn't a big deal.

on the other side like always by chillpills

Nick, and the rest of the country, realized fairly quickly that living in the zombie apocalypse – the daily, monotonous grind of living – isn’t actually that unbearable. It’s not really the end of the world, anyway. There’s just a fast-spreading disease prevalent among a large percentage of the population and as long as Nick stays out of the way of the infected, he’ll be safe, and when the infection is under control, then life can function as it used to.

At least that’s what Louis told him. And Louis should know, he guesses.

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better Than You by aliferuined

Basically, Louis and Nick have grumpy sex and ignore their feelings.

The thing is, Nick doesn't do boyfriends.

if a reason is what you're looking for (i'll be yours) by weddingbells

Liam though, the bastard, just fixes the stupid hat he is wearing and swallows another giggle. "You got married! Last night. I believe one of you decided it was Vegas tradition and now here we are." “We did not fucking get married.” Louis deadpans and stares from Liam to Nick. “I did not fucking marry that!��� Nick glares back at Louis. “And I did not marry him. I have standards, unlike others.” “Go fuck yourself.” Louis flips him off, but he is also feeling panic rise in his body because what the fuck happened last night and what did they do and if they are naked did he seriously have sex with Nick fucking Grimshaw? And married him?

Louis is in Vegas. When he wakes up he isn’t alone in his bed. And apparently not single either. Thank god annulments are an easy thing to get. Well, that is until your management decides you can’t get one but have to pretend that the whole thing wasn’t a drunken mistake but in fact, an act of love.

giving up this game by annemari

What happened was that around two years ago, after their night time show, Matt Fincham turned to Nick and said, "Hey, you know Louis Tomlinson, right? They want you to do football with him."

To which Nick said, "Do what?"

The one where Nick and Louis do the alternative football commentary and the action isn't only on the field.

get another coal on the fake fire by magneticwave

In Louis’ defense, this had seemed like a smashing idea with high potential for success six weeks ago when he’d first thought of it. // “I get that you’re jealous and all,” Zayn adds, “because—we all get it, yeah? Harry’s got like a million mates now outside of the band and he’s never around when we’re home—but it has never occurred to me that this problem might be solved by one of us sucking Grimmy’s dick.”

missing you is a slow burn by clairdeloune

“Maybe we should talk,” he offers quietly, even though he already knows what the answer will be. So when Louis frantically shakes his head and tries to kiss him again, he takes his face in his hands and strokes his cheek with his thumb, asks, “What do you want, love?”

Louis doesn’t look him in the eye when he whispers, “You.”

So Nick gives him just that.

I'll surrender up my heart (and swap it for yours) by clairdeloune

When Louis got a text from Harry saying ‘hey so I kind of need you to do something for me’ he didn’t expect it would lead him to standing at Nick Grimshaw’s doorstep with a bag full of groceries, medicine and a box of takeaway.

(He didn't expect to fall in love with Nick either.)

Give me touch by Conscious_ramblings

Nick Is slightly obsessed with watching a pretty northern twink wank on camera for hundreds of men.

Harry is slightly obsessed with setting Nick up with his friend Louis.

Louis might also have a slight obsession with one of the men that watches him wank, but he'd never admit it if you asked.

nothing is more fantastic. nothing is more tragic. by alison

after the breakfast show and after one direction, nick and louis find themselves in the same place at the same time.

the place is paris.

Maybe I'm A Liar (But For Tonight I Want To Fall In Love) by usernicole

Louis really has to do something about the crush he has on his fiance.

Love and the Purple Palace by takhallus

Louis is an air steward looking for a quick and easy fling with the handsome new bar manager at his crew hotel. He gets more than he bargained for with Nick Grimshaw.

Leave Your Heart at the Door by justyrae

Nick groans as he puts his head down on his desk as the thought sinks in; he can't possibly have a crush on Louis. It was only one night, after all, and besides, Louis is a prostitute. Nick cannot have a crush on a prostitute.

I Could Stand You One More Night by Hllangel

"Didn't expect to see you," Nick says instead of hello. He's already just in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, hair sticking up all over the place, glasses on instead of contacts. Louis stomach lurches weirdly, but he ignores it and pushes past Nick into his flat. He knows he wasn't followed here, but he's uncomfortable standing outside for too long most days.

"Just got back to London," Louis says. "Haven't seen you for a while." He holds out a kebab in the bag.

Or, Louis and Nick have been fucking for ages, but it's definitely not a thing. They don't even like each other.

It's Only A Beginning by sunsetmog

No, this year was not going better than last year, because last year he was with his friends, and everything was okay, and it wasn't the case that every single last thing was crap. Last year he wasn’t the stupid sixth former who’d failed his AS levels and had had to move stupid schools to do them again.

In which the only good thing in Louis's life was the person he talked to on Tumblr every night.

set the pace by flimsy

It's not always easy, but sometimes it's harder than it has to be. --University meets Radio 1 AU

“Do you think,” Nick says, “that we can keep this between us?” He gestures between himself and Louis and gives Louis a crooked smile like this is all explanatory, and Louis’ stomach twists uncomfortably.

“What,” he retorts, raising his brows, “that we shagged? Or that you are an awful snorer?”

start me over by camiii

"Nick’s funny when he’s not being a knob, and has good taste in music and Louis really likes his hands. Not to mention that he’s tall, tall enough to have made Louis spend a minute or two imagining what it would be like to have Nick pin him to a flat surface and snog him senseless. The only thing keeping him from a full grown crush at this point is sheer will and the threat of humiliation.

So, Nick’s a dickhead but unfortunately Louis is kind of into that."

i'll follow you, follow you home by annemari

Nick should be prepared for this. He absolutely should be prepared for this, is sure he's even thought about this moment before. But he didn't sleep that well, and it's a Friday, and he dashed home after the show this morning because Louis said, "Just call me, Nick." Said he'd be waiting up, and he didn't care it was almost three in the morning in LA.

So, yeah. Nick isn't prepared for Harry to answer Louis's phone.

The one where Nick and Louis are in a secret relationship, Louis gets hurt on tour, and they both realise they have some things they need to figure out.

love and kickin' by camiii

When Nick looks up in direction of the pitch he nearly chokes on his mouthful of coffee.

The Arsenal player standing behind the sideline, ball in his hands and number 28 splayed across his back, is fit. Really fit.

In all honesty Nick can only see him from behind, but the first thing he notices is a quite spectacular bum and nicely muscled thighs and, well, football might have its redeeming aspects after all.

Or the fic where Nick has no interest in football but is dragged to a football match, Louis is the Arsenal player that catches his attention, and maybe there are some redeeming qualities to the game after all.

and i refuse to let this go by annemari

Louis needs another smoke. He needs another fucking drink. He's too drunk and too sober all at the same time. His hands are shaking. He digs his nails into his thigh, trying to breathe.

Nick is hurt. He's hurt, and in a coma, and there's a chance he could never wake up, and Louis is halfway across the world.

The one where Louis and Nick are in a secret relationship, Nick loses his memories, and Louis tries to not fall apart.

Kissing in the Rain by Writcraft

It starts at a party with shitty cocktails, a DJ that's definitely not as good as Nick and some 'that only happens in the movies' kissing in the rain.

and i never saw you coming by annemari

The first message said, You're not too bad on the radio, Grimshaw. There was a star glued at the end of the sentence. That was it. That was all it said.

you come around and the armor falls by annemari

Nick is tired. That's the reason. That's why his body is doing—whatever it's doing.

He stares at the broken pieces of the mug he just dropped and swipes at his eyes.

"Nick," Louis says. "Are you crying?"

Press My Face Against the Clouds by Jiksa

Norway has a polar bear population, Nick has a broken heart, and Louis Tomlinson is, unsurprisingly, still a complete fucking wanker.

Buddy System by ohnojamie

He groans and fills his mouth with the majority of the champagne sitting next to him. It might be Zayn’s but Louis thinks he deserves it more. He deserves champagne, new friends, and to not realize he wants to marry his boyfriend while at his best friends wedding.

or Louis proposes in his own roundabout way

Like Rollin' Dice by usernicole

Zayn and Louis make a bet.

Late Night Spaces by usernicole

"they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if I love you and I will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh" It hits Louis in the middle of a show, bathed in lights and the screams of their thousands and thousands of fans. It’s like he’s been kicked in the chest, air punched out of him, and he’s suddenly, overwhelmingly in love with Nick Grimshaw.

take take take by dramaturgicallycorrect

“Abstract art, like. I don’t get it.” Louis tilts his head. “Reckon it’s supremely uncool of me to admit it.”

Nick thumps a hand to his chest. “I, for one, am shocked and appalled.”

Louis squints at the pure black canvas, eyes shifting across the thick swathes of paint that only look like a pattern when you’re squinting at it as close as Louis is. Nick almost wants to tip Louis back so he doesn’t slosh his beer all over the thing.

“Everyone’s always on about that bullshit, right, about like. Poetry shit, like, writing stuff that sounds deep but don’t make any sense. Stuff that you need a bloody degree to understand. Like people who just write like normal people or who, like, I dunno, fucking draw a bowl of fruit are somehow less than.”

Louis’ not exactly standing on a table saying, I sing pop music, you fucks, love me anyway, but. He might has well have done.

[Or some people give give give and some people take take take.]

Three Cheers for Involuntary Attraction by checkthemargins

The one where Nick is accidentally dating Louis.

we are not alone in the dark with our demons by alison

It's a Wednesday when Nick leaves. One too many questions about his feelings for Harry Styles, one too many jokes, one too many laughs. He leaves because he can't anymore, can't pretend that's all it is: a joke. He can't play along anymore, so he walks out of the studio and gets in his car and drives, the destination not seeming important in this moment.

The last person he would expect to find him is Louis.

Taylor Swift Has Probably Written A Song About This Feeling by neerdowellwolf

Nick isn't sure how he ended up fooling around with Louis Tomlinson and he's definitely not sure when he fell in love.

I Melt with You by pillarboxred

Louis is homesick.

That's the only reason he does it in the end.

Not because he’s, like, in love with him or anything, because that’s just ridiculous, but because Louis misses home, and Nick knows enough about how terrible that feeling is to actually want to do something about it.

He’s not in love.

Or, the one where Nick tries cheering Louis up and it goes better than he'd ever expected.

so fill up your lungs and just run by softestlesbian

“I didn’t even know you were pregnant,” Nick murmurs, a little awed. “How didn’t I know?”

“I didn’t tell anyone that didn’t need to know,” and her voice breaks a little.

Nick thinks back about a year ago. She wasn’t dating anyone, not that he knew of. Not after she’d broken up with... “Who’s the dad, then?” he asks, trying to keep his voice even. If this is Louis fucking Tomlinson’s kid, he’s going to have to have some very serious words with Harry.

*

or, Nick becomes the godfather to Louis's baby.

It's a Yes From Me by littlepinkbow

When Nick's nerves about the X Factor got to him the most unexpected person ended up being the one who made him feel okay about everything and maybe Harry doesn't have all the worst ideas.

quo fata ferunt by alison

when louis ends up going on holiday with his girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend, things get very messy.

so impatient when you're not mine by 1dhockeyau

It's easier to sleep at home anyway, but Nick's home is even more welcoming than his own now.

Or, Nick and Louis spend most of their time apart, but it's mostly worth it.

tsunami tides in my eyes by thegoodyouth

The prompt was "You can go anywhere you want with this, but based off the Ed Sheeran song U.N.I." and I just saw a lot of angst.

into your heart i'll beat again (orphan_account)

He asks about her schooling, her plans for the future, her family and friends. He recognized her as a friend of Nick’s as well as Harry’s from the moment he walked in and saw her sat here, but it still catches him off guard when she mentions his name. Suddenly his filter is shattering into a million tiny pieces.

(or: No one knows that Louis is dating Nick and Harry keeps trying to set Louis up on dates.)

A Blueprint In The Sand by iwanna_seeyou_undoit

“What are you doing here?”

“Hello Nick. Thanks for coming by. It’s good to see you.” Nick bloody Grimshaw is standing on Louis’ doorstep.

Or,

Louis is too sick to go to America for a week of press and the only person left to look after him in London is Nick.

Raspberries by silvered_glass

Nick's stuck nursing a broken heart, trying to run a club where he's hard pressed to say what's worse - the interior design or the vodka and to top it all off he's got a second in charge who resents him and is taking self management to new heights. Louis is Nick’s bar manager, he's great at fixing things up and sorting everyone out apart from himself.

Their friends want to see them get over themselves, but they've got nothing in common apart from their shitty club and a new-found interest in flooring.

Nothing at all..

play it just in case by nightwideopen

In which Louis likes Nick but tries to convince himself that he doesn't.

A Shimmering Balance Act (I Think that I Laughed at That) by pillarboxred

Nick's always hated it when things end. And unless something changes, one of those things might be his relationship with Louis.

You and I, We're Intergalactic by freethedoncastertwo

Louis is a cross-planetary traveller; an alien who crash-landed on Earth and has since been masquerading as a human boy-band member. Which is fine. Really. Or it would be, if not for the government-agent-come-radio-DJ who happens to be hot on Louis’ trail.

but tonight i need you to stay by firefall

“We could always fall in love,” Louis mumbles timidly, picking at his pajama pants. He squeezes his eyes shut as soon as the words leave his mouth.

“Yeah,” Nick answers quietly, which is not at all what Louis expected. He opens his eyes again, stunned. Nick just smiles ruefully and offers him a shrug. “I don’t think there’s much else we can do.”

Louis and Nick were enemies long before they were soulmates. It takes a little time to figure it out.

Hi, Hey There, Hello by usernicole

Louis can talk to animals. Nick can't, but he tries anyway. Louis likes that in a guy.

All Of Me Is Broken by fortymaliks

“Honestly, I don't know why I come here.”

“It's because of my excellent advice and counsel.” Nick grins, cheekily. Louis stands up from his chair, tugs his jacket onto his shoulder, laughing while he does it.

“My half-hour's up.”

“Oh,” Nick says, “so it is.”

(An AU in which Nick is a psychiatrist and Louis is one of his patients.)

How Many Ifs Make A Definite? (or, if you squint you see me) by lowi

Niall befriends an entire unit in five days, Harry is awfully sensitive when he's drunk and thinks the world is out to get him, Liam is Captain America, Zayn can't cook but brings lovely casseroles with him anyway.

Or, the one where Louis is in Afghanistan (and falls apart) and Nick is in London (and falls apart).

Been a Long Time Since Before I've Been Touched by nicalyse

Louis nuzzles up under Nick's jaw, pressing a kiss there, trailing his lips up to brush over Nick's earlobe. "Tonight?" he whispers, so soft.

Nick sinks his fingers into the hair at the back of Louis' head, scritching his fingers against Louis' scalp. He hums, brushing a kiss to Louis' temple. "All right." He knows that Louis is talking about the thing that they do now and again, not a game but not something they've given proper name to either. He always says yes when Louis asks; he loves it, too.

but it's better if you do by aliferuined

Louis definitely does not care about Nick's opinion of him. And Nick definitely is not obsessed with Louis.

ive been thinking lots about your mouth by nightwideopen

Nick hears Louis Tomlinson before he sees him.

i’m inside out, you’re underneath by nightwideopen

Nick knows that Louis is beautiful but he hates him anyway.

we're both of us to blame by nightwideopen

Louis is trapped in his hall closet with Nick Grimshaw.

divinely decreed and custom made by nightwideopen

Nick tucks himself into the corner, making himself as small as possible. Meanwhile, Louis kicks his feet up onto the adjacent empty seats, larger than life and reminding Nick how he's everything.

Like Him by dickviolin

“Where’s Sal?” Louis said. “Retired,” the man replied. Just like that, Louis thought. It’s strange how quickly things can change that you thought would always be the same. Or, the story of a long, hot summer and some chaffinches.

Louis is a scholarship student at a boarding school, about to fail his exams, Nick works in the local café and Liam is a birdwatcher.

Whisper in My Ear the Things You Want to Feel by alison

Tonight he's looking for something else, something that has nothing to do with Nick Grimshaw and everything to do with chain smoking alone on the dark, quiet patio.

maybe a little by imsosorry

“Are they starving you now?” Nick asks, frowning, pinching at Louis’s belly where there used to be a bit more meat.

“Don’t be a prat,” Louis says, batting his hand away. “You know they’ve got us working out, like, twice a day now. It’s a nightmare. And Haz completely banned junk food from the bus, because he’s become some new-age health maniac.”

Nick grins at the thought; Louis had fondly complained about Harry’s green-tea-drinking, yoga-doing, headband-wearing, barefoot ways ever since they started the U.S. tour. He blames Nick for turning his best friend into a “total hipster,” which is ridiculous, because Nick would never do yoga.

“Well,” Nick says thoughtfully, “S’long as your bum’s still all there.”

(Or, Louis comes home from America. Nick's waiting.)

i want every other freckle (orphan_account)

Louis Tomlinson is twenty-one years old and is too young to be having a Tinder induced quarter-life crisis over Nick G, 28, aubergine emoji enthusiast, and definitely not his type.

10am gare du nord by achapterends

Nick visits Paris, and he leaves with a promise.

A Waltz For A Night by sunsetmog

"Stop being so nice to me. I'm normally horrible to you. I've been horrible to you the last however many times we've seen each other."

"I just thought that was you flirting," Nick says. "Wasn't it?"

"No. I mean, yes, of course it was, but like, also, no. Oh, fuck. I fancied you rotten. I was trying to hide it."

Or: Louis finds someone who likes every bit of him, and who likes the same things he does. He just hadn't expected that person to be Nick Grimshaw.

It's Just You and I and This TV by secretspeller (actually gen, but I’m just leaving it here)

Nick couldn’t imagine Louis, in all his lionhearted prickly-mischievous pop-stardom, as the object of worry, but Harry sounded genuinely concerned so Nick gave in. “Fine,” he said, “I’ll look in on him after the show.”

always always always by just_in_cases

Louis' an artist, Nick doesn't get it.

We Were The Better Kind by yourpricelessadvice

Louis has everything how he wants it. His job is good, his family is well and he loves sharing a house with his boys: Niall destroys and Liam tidies, Zayn keeps them fed and Harry - well, he jams the plug hole with his long hair and brings his sarcastic, idiotic non-rent paying boss/friend Nick around far too much. But on his own, without an audience to play to, maybe Nick’s not so bad?

(Instead of slowing down, I just shine brighter.) by softly (alexenglish)

I think I’ve got fireflies where my caution should be.

something changed in the atmosphere (i could get used to this) by mrsenjolras

Nick decides to leave The Breakfast Show. Louis is just glad to get a lie in.

Tumblr Cats by aimmyarrowshigh

Dear neighbor,

This might sound ridiculous, but I thought that you should know that my dog is still madly in love with your cat… and has been for nearly a year! She spends all day on the windowseat in my house, looking across the gap to where your cat sits in the windowsill. It is the happiest time that she has.

Now that there are potted plants there, she is heartbroken. But she keeps looking for your cat everywhere. Maybe when he seemed so easy to find, she took him for granted. Not anymore, though.

Maybe your potted plants could move to another window?

Knead You Now by Writcraft

Harry used to be a baker, Louis definitely didn't and Nick just wants to know how the fuck they got into his kitchen.

Lost Boy by Writcraft

Louis is back in England. Nick doesn’t even know he cares until a chance meeting brings them together.

mid-sweet talk by lotts (LottieAnna)

Nick: theres a blow up mattress here Louis: just one? Nick: we thought it’d be over in a few hours!!! Louis: if you spoon greg james im breaking up with you

i'm gonna win this time by stars_on_the_ceiling

There was just breathing on the other end of the phone as Nick tried to get his eyes to focus on the clock by his bed. The number that had called him wasn’t in his contacts, but it was 3 a.m., he’d been dead asleep and he didn’t want to chance missing an emergency.

“Hello?” Nick tried again. His brain was starting to click on and he pulled the phone away to glance at the lit up screen. He didn’t even recognize the area code. Just his luck some prank caller or pervert had gotten his number and was getting their jollies off on waking him up in the middle of the fucking night. He was about to hang up, roll over and forget the whole thing when there was a hitch in the person’s breathing. It was tiny, but noticeable, a swallowed sob.

“Nick.”

The voice was not much more than a whisper. Nick caught an accent, and he almost recognized it. But his brain was still sleep-fogged, slow and lagging three paces behind. He pressed the heel of his hand into his eye and willed himself to blink out of the haze.

“It’s um… It’s…” the voice said and everything within him sharpened, pulled tight. He knew what was coming next. He’d placed the accent. “It’s um Louis. Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson.”

(modern art is a) disaster area by mozartspiano

an au where louis is a street artist who started off as just a tagger, and tired, over-worked, underpaid cop!nick, who keeps letting louis get away with his art work

The front door's open if you're broken by loveheartlover

Nick is invited back to be a judge for X Factor 2018. He wasn't expecting Louis to be one too.

Or for the closeness being on the same panel brings.

The Underside is Lighter by silvered_glass

“On the radio, proper posh house, won’t let a man find his cross-peen when he leaves it here,” Louis interrupts.

Nick’s watching Louis’ lips move. They are still nicely shaped, that hasn’t changed from the other night. And he smells like cigarettes and shampoo, and fuck. He’s very fit and very close. “I can help you look for your cross-peen,” Nick answers, dazed. Louis’ face lights up and far-too late Nick realises that can’t be a good thing.

⛏

Nick's got a lovely new house and Louis' lost his hammer.

All I've ever had are love songs by icarusinflight

Things are finally coming together for Nick.

Nick is the DJ of his uni's radio stations, and he passively aggressively dedicates a song to Louis.

A Century of Lonely Nights by EmmyLouWho

“I’m a genie, remember,” Louis says, like that explains everything.

Being around Louis makes Nick feel like he’s constantly three steps behind. It’s a dizzying feeling, but not an entirely unpleasant one.

*

Nick was just trying to find Harry a quirky birthday present, but when he buys an antique bottle from a dusty shop, he gets more than he bargained for.

Raspberries by silvered_glass

Nick's stuck nursing a broken heart, trying to run a club where he's hard pressed to say what's worse - the interior design or the vodka and to top it all off he's got a second in charge who resents him and is taking self management to new heights. Louis is Nick’s bar manager, he's great at fixing things up and sorting everyone out apart from himself.

Their friends want to see them get over themselves, but they've got nothing in common apart from their shitty club and a new-found interest in flooring.

Nothing at all..

she's a good girl by 1000_directions

It's Pig's world -- Nick's just living in it.

[sunlitroom]

Gotham s4e14 - The Sinking Ship, The Grand Applause

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Oswald faked Martin’s death to keep him safe.  Jim arrested Oswald for his murder.  Victor is a lying traitor.  Sofia played Jim for a dupe.  I screwed up, Harve.  Oh – Jesus – no, not the bit with Lee’s hand again.  Ivy’s brief reign of terror.  Oswald uses Riddler to plan an escape

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

An abandoned-looking house in the city.  Martin sits with his back against the fireplace, guarded by hulking men, at whom he stares balefully while sketching them hanged in his little pad.  As he turns the page to start a fresh sketch, he finds the next page has a message.

Do you want to escape?

He looks round quickly before reading and following the rest of the instructions. Going into an equally abandoned looking kitchen on the pretence of using the bathroom, he turns the gas on, and returns to the living room.  

The men quickly smell gas. Martin smiles.  They pull their guns before going to check more.  The next message in Martin’s pad tells him to plug his ears.  As he does, we see a missile glide through the kitchen window.  There’s a huge explosion in the kitchen.  Martin sees a figure emerging from the smoke in the hall who turns out to be Ed.  ‘Uncle Penguin’ sent him, and now they’re going to get ice cream.

Cherry’s is under new management.  In the ring in the centre of the club, we see Samson brutally beating a man.  There’s not much in the way of cheering.  Lee approaches cautiously, a hood covering her face.

Samson is boasting about how he’s in charge and he collects protection.  We see the man’s terrified family watching from the crowd.  He begs Samson,

Please, my family…..

Samson replies

Do I look like an animal?

He tells the man he won’t hurt his family, and promptly shoots him in the head. His family scream and surge towards the ring, horrified.

In the crowd – Lee is aghast.  She leaves quietly.

GCPD.  Harvey and Jim are in what is now Jim’s office.  I wonder if Jim considers how much it might gall Harvey to sit in that office on the other side of the desk, given the circumstances?

Jim tells Harvey that before Don Falcone died, he warned him that he had no idea what he had brought to the city.  Jim says he knows now that he was talking about Pyg.  Jim says someone must have told him about Pyg, and that person also has evidence linking Sofia to Pyg.

Harvey asks Jim why he doesn’t just come forward with what he has.  Jim wriggles, and says that it would just be his word against Sofia’s. Harvey’s visibly impatient with him, and says he’s just afraid that it will bring him down too.  Jim says Harvey can be pissed at him, but that this is bigger than both of them.  

He puts Harvey’s badge on the table and says he needs to know he can count on him.  I dunno, Jim, I think you were still wearing your badge when you screwed Harvey over, so I don’t really think it’s a magical talisman, or anything.

Harvey takes the badge and says he hopes they take down Sofia – but he still wants Jim to pay. He adds that he knows a former Falcone assassin, the Scandinavian Skinner, and he wants to go find them. Jim makes to rise from his chair to join him, but Harvey brushes him off.

(An aside.  This is the set-up for the later revelation that Mr Penn was apparently a crucial mole that the narrative never for a moment hinted at back in the first half of the season.  It’s several kinds of lazy.  It also ruins that lovely line of Carmine’s

You have no idea what you’ve brought to this city

At the time, that line sounded like it was about Sofia (I suspect it was, tbh, and this is a retcon to fill a plot hole).  Carmine was finally acknowledging how dangerous his daughter was – out of her earshot, and right before she killed him.  It carried a lot of weight.  Now – it’s some stupid reference to Pyg, who Carmine apparently knew about all along. There, too, goes Jim and Harvey’s (and the show’s) weird notion that Carmine Falcone had some better code of honour than the other criminals.  If he knew about Pyg and did nothing, then he was complicit.)

 At Wayne Manor, there is a ruckus in the kitchen.  Cans of food are rolling across the floor.  Bruce approaches warily to find Selina rifling through cupboards, looking for something to eat.  She said she needs help.  Bruce clarifies that she needs money.  She wants to get back something she fenced.  Bruce asks why she doesn’t ask Barbara Kean, but Selina says she doesn’t want Barbara involved.

She promises him she’ll pay him back, and tells him that it’s the stuff she took from Roland Charles. Bruce realises she feels bad and tells her he’ll get the money.  He also tells her there’s oatmeal cookies in the blue tin.  He leaves, and Selina smiles – but still seems troubled.

 At Arkham, a yelling Oswald is being dragged to some kind of guard’s station, where he’s told he has a message.  We can see what looks like lots of Victorian maids in the background.  Maybe that will be relevant later in Jerome and Jervis’ breakout.

The guard delivers a riddle, the answer to which is ‘knuckle sandwich’.  Oswald receives a whopping punch in the face.

Harvey enters a delicatessen.  We hear children laughing and playing, looking at sweets

Hello Agnes

The Skinner, it turns out, is an old lady – who tells Bullock she’s now retired.  She looks away from him briefly to tell the children not to ruin their dinner.  They promise her – apparently their grandma – that they won’t

Harvey says they’re looking for someone who might have acted as Falcone's eyes and ears when he was down south.  She asks why she should tell him.  He says they have a history, but she remarks that ‘history’ got her four years in a gulag.

Harvey threatens to tell her grandchildren about her past, and goes so far as to call to the children. She caves fast.  She says Falcone only ever trusted the book-keeper who smelled of fish – but she heard he vanished.  Harvey leaves.

(An aside.  It’s debatable whether he would have gone through with it, but having Harvey use the woman’s grandchildren as a threat seemed ooc unsympathetic for him.

Was ‘Agnes Skinner’  a Simpsons reference?)

At the Falcone mansion, Sofia is throwing a tantrum about Martin’s disappearance.  She sends Victor to Arkham to kill Oswald – knowing that this is the only leverage she has over him.  Victor asks if he can take HeadHunter. Sofia doesn’t care, as long as Oswald dies choking on his own blood.

Harvey is also at Arkham, asking for Oswald.  He finds him in the infirmary. Oswald sits up when he approaches – not clear whether this is somehow part of the escape plan.  Harvey tells him (sarcastically?  Not sure. Sometimes there’s an odd amiability in cop/criminal encounters in this show – but Harvey is generally angry in this episode) that it’s good to see him.

There’s a scream outside. Harvey runs out to investigate. It’s Victor and HH, looking for Oswald. Victor remarks that he though Bullock stopped being a cop, but it clearly didn’t take.  He reintroduces HH to Harvey as Wendell.

Harvey tells them to walk away – but Victor says they can't.  They draw their guns.  I’m still generally cross at Victor – but good god those shoulder holsters do things to me.

Victor tells Harvey to step aside and he can live to get drunk another day. (this is the weird kind of amiability and sense of an actual relationship I was referring to earlier).

Suddenly, alarms start to go off.  Harvey looks back.  Victor and Wendell decide to try again later.  An announcement comes over the tannoy system that Oswald has escaped. Harvey runs back into the infirmary. Patients there are yelling and hitting their own heads at the sound of the alarm, because this show’s depiction of Arkham just continues to plumb new depths every damn time.

Harvey looks out the window. He sees Oswald heading for a van, and Ed, leaping about like a giant grasshopper, shooting his gun into the air

Nygma

(An aside – we never actually hear how Ed broke Oswald out, because it doesn’t really make any sense that Oswald couldn’t manage it alone.  He survived on his wits alone in season one – Oswald managed to negotiate his way out of a car that was seconds away from being crushed.  He bested Ed last season.  He managed to wrangle success from the Tetch virus mess.  But to shove the plot along, he’s handed the idiot ball here.)

My wrists hurt and this bit was not wildly interesting.  Bruce and Selina go back to the shop where she fenced the stolen goods, get into a big fight, make up, flirt a little, and then leave.

A street on the Narrows. Ed says he knew that Sofia would send hitmen when she learned Martin was gone.  Oswald anxiously asks how he is.  Ed says he’s snug as a bug in a rug.  Oswald’s face lights up to hear that Martin is safe.

Ed hands Oswald his hat, and wants to boast about how he found Martin, which somehow involved Victor loving disco and Ed dressing up as an old Polish woman.  Oswald, however, is not interested – and says they need a powerbase to fight Sofia.  Ed smiles and says he knows – loosening his tie.

A makeshift office somewhere in the Narrows, where Lee is sitting at a desk. The door opens, and she pulls a gun – understandably wary. It’s Ed – posing as whatever iteration of himself he was before, I’ve virtually given up at this point. Lee smiles – genuinely happy to see him.

You're back. How are you doing?

Worlds better

He spots her hand, and asks what happened to it.  There’s an interesting little break here.  His voice when he asks the question is feigned – because he’s still pretending to be old Ed, but that only serves to underline the contrast with him quickly noticing that something had happened to her hand, and the look of concern, which seem genuine in comparison.

Lee said that Sofia smashed her hand with a hammer.

Together we can get that bitch back. She can't take everything we built.

Ed straightens his tie and calls to Oswald, saying that Lee can’t help them.  A confused Lee asks what’s happening.  Oswald tells her about their deal.

I let him out of his cage, he let me out of mine

Lee stares at Ed.

You're him.  The Riddler

Ed stares back at her as he puts his hat on.  Lee looks him up and down.

He says was hoping she was still running The Narrows and could help – but he guesses not.  He’s still staring at her saying this and straightening his tie, even as Oswald tugs on his sleeve, and impatiently asks what they’re going to do now.  

Walking away from the desk, Ed says he has a backup plan.  He wants Victor Fries to put Oswald in a block of ice, and to offer him as a gift to Sofia – like a trojan horse.  Oswald laughs incredulously and tells him to try again.

Lee walks over to them, and tells them to let her help.  They continue to bicker and ignore her.  She looks indignantly at Ed.  Lee was infuriated to be overlooked during the Tetch debacle, too – so her annoyance here is consistent with her character.

You think I can't handle it

I know you can't

Lee holds up her hand. Ed’s eyes are again conflicted when confronted with her injury.

Look what she did to me. I will pull the trigger on that bitch myself

Ed says that’s tough talk, but only talk.

An impatient Oswald stops their squabbling, and says that they need muscle. Lee smiles and agrees with him

I can tell you where to look.

They both start paying attention to her.  Ed and Lee decide to lock eyes again.

Don't you think he misses you?

As she says this, she smiles at Ed, who catches on and smiles back.  Oswald asks who she’s talking about.  Neither acknowledges his question.

(An aside.  There’s quite a lot in that scene.  Ed superficially discounts Lee’s usefulness in the scheme to oust Sofia, since she’s lost The Narrows – but there was an awful lot of conflicted glancing at her hand.  In fact, there was an awful lot of staring at each other in general.  The smiles they shared at the end were also private – reminding us that they now have a close relationship and shared history.)  

Ed is in the sewer, yelling for Grundy – saying he’s his best friend and pal, and smart again, and generally prancing about, enjoying the fact that there’s an echo.  Ed is such an ass.

Butch approaches him. Ed condescendingly tells him he’s corralling allies to kill Sofia, and they need

A galoot like you for cannon fodder

He frowns, realising Butch looks different, and asks why he’s looking at him like that.  Butch growls

Oh dear.

Butch says he’s not the only one who got smart.  Ed fumbles saying that he helped him

Ed put out fire.  Ed help Grundy

Butch says he’s not Ed anymore, and he’s not Grundy.

Back at Lee's.  She’s relaxed, feet on the desk, waiting for Ed to come back to move on to the next stage of the plan.  Oswald, meantime, is pacing, convinced that Ed has betrayed him already.

Lee tells him to calm down. Oswald snaps not to tell him to calm down, she has no idea what he’s been through.  Lee calmly tells him that Ed will be here, and they will make Sofia pay. Interestingly, Lee doesn’t seem wary of the Riddler persona at all.  The trust she has for Ed carries over – which raises the question of whether Lee now simply sees him as an integrated persona.

An agitated Oswald says he can't wait, and storms out.  Lee rolls her eyes.

Jim and Harvey walking down a street in the Narrows.  Harvey is wondering aloud how Ed got in touch with Oswald anyway.  It’s called a plot contrivance, Harvey.  

Jim looks annoyingly crisp and smart in his suit when I'm still mad at him.  He’s told Harvey that the best way to find Oswald and Ed is to find Lee.  As they head down the street, Oswald approaches.  Jim and Harvey draws their guns

Or we could talk to Oswald right now

Oswald smashes a bottle and points it at them in warning.  He asks what they’re doing there.

Harvey says they’re looking for an Arkham escapee, about so tall, limp, and a mommy complex.

Oswald manages to look so livid that he’s tearful

(An aside - Go take a fuck to yourself, Harvey.  What on earth was that nastiness about?  Aside from being mean and unnecessary – it’s not really in-character for Harvey.  His first comment on encountering Oswald at the big showdown with Theo – in the midst of all the mayhem – was to tell Oswald he was ‘sorry about his mom’.   So what’s this?)

Oswald tells Jim that the trumped up charges he used to put him away have lost their teeth – Martin is safe and well.  Jim says if that’s the case, then produce him.

(An aside – Wow, Jim is capable of some mental contortions.  So, he probably didn’t think Oswald actually  killed Martin, but decided that the accusation was enough to justify arresting him, and even though he likely didn’t really believe the accusation himself, fell back on needing evidence to exonerate him)

Oswald quickly retorts no – Martin’s not safe until Sofia has been dealt with

Jim looks wide-eyed at Oswald’s statement.  Why would he be surprised that Oswald wants revenge on Sofia?  Anyway.

I think you and I both want the same thing, Oswald.  We both want Sofia to go away.

(An aside – he’s falling back on the same line he used with Harvey: ‘yes I fucked up, but hey, we both have bigger fish to fry, so please forgive me and let’s not dwell on my fuck up’

Oswald says if that’s the case

Then turn around and walk away - let me do what I do

Jim can’t have that, though – he wants her in jail

Harvey and Jim mention Penn, and Oswald's eyes bulge with rage.  He screams incoherently

That little weasel was working for her

Harvey tells him Penn worked for Carmine for years, and tells Oswald he needs to address his management style.  Oswald isn’t listening, on another level of rage now, chanting to himself.

I’m gonna kill him

Jim approaches him, lowering his gun.

Oswald, Oswald - calm down.

Bizarrely, after everything that’s gone on between them– and there is a lot of everything – Jim’s voice manages to break through Oswald’s rage, and Oswald makes eye contact.  Jim says they can make a deal.  If Oswald tells them where to find Penn, then he’ll let him walk away.

There’s a long pained look, before Oswald says.

I don't believe you

(I ship this - so you can take it or leave it - but imo, part of Oswald looking pained in that moment was because he wants so much to trust Jim, and hates that he now can’t immediately do that)

Harvey interrupts and says that Sofia sent Victor to Arkham to kill him.  She runs the Narrows now, and she’ll find him.

Jim and Oswald look at each other.  Oswald drops his bottle and they face each other without weapons.  Apparently  there’s a specialist spa that Penn visits, and he’s probably hiding there.

Oswald walks past them. As he does, Jim says his name.  He turns to face him. Oswald’s face looks raw and vulnerable.  Jim actually manages a sincere thank-you, and extends his hand.

Oswald’s face softens, and he looks down at Jim’s hand, and - taking it – smiles.

Unfortunately Harvey Interruptus chooses this time to start going by the book, and cuffs him

Oswald yells they had a deal.  Jim asks Harvey what he's doing, and Harvey says he didn’t agree to anything.  Oswald yells as they walk away.

Lee watches from the shadows

As they get to the car, Oswald is still furious, but Jim tells him to relax, and that if the Penn info is good then he’ll still be rid of Sofia.

Victor and Wendell appear across the street.  Jim quickly shoves Oswald into the car, which was technically protective, and so I’m taking it as a shippy moment and you can’t stop me.

Victor apparently has the sharpest hearing in the world, since he heard them mention Penn’s name from across the road.  There’s a bit of back and forth, where they realise Penn is important.  

A big shoot out happens, during which Lee swoops in and steals Oswald and the car.  Victor and Wendell shoot after her before giving up. Jim tells Harvey they need to find Penn, and also need to find a car.

(An aside - Oh, Oswald. Your easy forgiveness here makes my fic writing life much much easier, but…sweetie, really.  You have a very big Jim Gordon shaped blind spot.   Between this, and calming down when Jim spoke to him, and making a beeline for him when he was infected with the fear serum, it seems that Oswald still sees Jim as a ‘safe’ person.)

At Sirens, Barbara has a terrible, terrible headache.  She throws back a pill as Tabitha approaches, asking if it’s another migraine.  Barbara nods, before asking what that stink is.

It’s Butch approaching, dragging Ed.  There’s some back and forth nastiness, where Barbara realises that Butch is himself again. Which, interestingly, means that Tabitha didn’t share that information.  Out of a sense of shame at her response to him?  Wanting to protect him?  Not having as close a relationship with Barbara anymore?

Butch tells them that Ed tried to recruit him to fight Sofia, so he brought him to Tabitha as a gift, after the whole hand amputation business.  Why does this show hate hands so much?  Oswald got a brooch pin through his, Butch got his cut off with a machete, Ed guillotined Tabitha’s, and Lee got hers mangled.

Anyway, Butch turns to leave.  Tabitha calls after him

Don't just walk away again

What?  Why wouldn’t he?  Tabitha’s response to his reaffirming his feelings for her made pretty clear that she wasn’t interested anymore – and she didn’t complain when he left last time.  Are we supposed to have forgotten that?   I start to share Barbara’s headache.

Butch promises Tabitha that he’ll find a way to get back to what he was.  Like – seriously, aside from the hair and skin, what’s the big problem here?  Why is Butch living in the sewer, anyway?  Some foundation and hair dye and he’s good to go.  Butch, 99% of your trouble here is that your sleeves are too short and give you that weird ‘monster suit’ look.  Just go see a tailor.  

Butch leaves, kicking Ed as he does so.  Tabitha watches him.  Tabitha is wearing a seriously terrible satin shirt with weird, weird sleeves.  If anyone should be living in the sewer, far from society’s gaze, it’s her in that shirt.

Barbara, meantime, grabs her head again – almost collapsing against the bar. Tabitha asks if she’s OK. Well – clearly not, Tabitha.  Barbara says they should send him back to Sofia. She’ll torture him, Lee’s allies are gone, the rebellion is quelled.  Once Sofia doesn’t need Ed, she’ll kill him.  Same end result, less work.

(An aside – sorry, not remotely believable that Tabitha would pass up the chance to torture Ed herself. She’s generally sadistic, and enjoys torture – and she loathes Ed for what he did to her and Butch.  But now she’ll hand him over? Nope.)

Back at the Falcone mansion, Sofia is pissed to hear that Oswald isn’t dead yet. She’s dialling the phone when Victor mentions Penn’s name, and goes very still. She says they have to find Penn before Gordon does.  Victor asks which to prioritise, and she tells them to do both.

(An aside.  Sofia’s temper and demands in this episode are another nice parallel with Oswald.  It’s a reminder that the relationship was worth exploring and keeping a little more grey in terms of their similarities and understanding.)

Back at some location in The Narrows, Oswald thanks Lee for coming to his rescue.  Lee tells him not to bother, she needs him to get to Sofia. Well, at least she's honest with him. Oswald sarcastically replies

Touching

Oswald can't believe they’re doing this without Ed and Butch – this plan will likely get him killed. Ah – so they’re at Victor Fries’ lair. Lee says she doesn't care, as long as it puts Sofia in the ground, and Oswald's jaw drops.

Victor F enters the room. Now my jaw drops, because good God, is Victor F in fine shape. He’s also cross at Oswald because he didn't follow through with funding him.  We see him from another angle.  I’m so happy.

Oswald smiles, and says that the failure to fund him was an omission he regrets and will rectify if given the chance

Victor opens a tap on a gas canister and sprays himself with something to cool himself down.  

Oswald moves to investigate something in the makeshift lab.  Victor grabs his arm to stop him

Don't touch that

Lee tells him he needs money for research, and Sofia wants Oswald.  If he delivers her, then he can name his price.  Victor hands him something.  He says it’s short notice – but the best he can do.  Oswald turns to Lee and starts to say if this affects his brain the way it did Nygma’s then it’ll be a disaster.  He can’t afford….

We don’t know what he can’t afford, because Victor cuts in

Ready?

Oswald splutters. Victor doesn’t listen.

I don't care

Victor freezes him in a block, like he did Ed.

(An aside - I know, by this point, that I’m essentially on a hiding to nothing if I wonder about logic and reasoning – but why didn’t Oswald fund Victor?  He knows what he’s capable of.  He’s greedy for allies.  Did he just not have the funds required?  Did he never really intend to do it all (again, confusing, given how useful Victor could be to him).  Did he forget?  It’s not a big detail but – again – it fleshes things out to know.)

(Another aside – I think I need some of that cooling gas canister stuff.  Wow.)

 At Wayne Manor, Selina roots through the jewellery while Bruce ices his knuckles.  She wants him to return it and he twigs that’s why she came. It wasn’t about the money.  He clearly and carefully tells her that she didn’t kill Roland Charles, Ivy did.  But Selina is guilty and ashamed.  She asks what she’s supposed to say, ‘sorry’?  Bruce says sometimes that’s enough, and they look at each other.

At the Falcone mansion, we hear drill sounds.  The dentist we met before is torturing Ed.  He comments that his strength of mind is impressive.  Sofia pats Ed’s shoulder, and tells him he will tell her what she wants to know, or this will look like a pleasant dream

Ed laughs, and says OK

I can be done with the teeth, the eyes or the mind - what am I?

I can be humorous, but I’m never funny - what am I?

Sofia stabs him in the thigh with a scalpel, and demands to know where Oswald is.

Ed laughs and tells her he already did – but she’s too stupid to figure it out

Sofia jiggles the scapel in his leg.  Ow ow ow. Ed screams in earnest.  They’re interrupted – they have a visitor.

It’s Victor F – with a frozen Oswald.  Ed turns and laughs – amused that they’ve gone through with his plan after all, and no doubt somewhat tickled to see Oswald in a block of ice.

Sofia asks if Oswald is alive.  Victor F responds that he might be, and asks for a hundred grand.  She agrees quickly.  Should have asked for more, Victor.

The other hot Victor enters as he leaves, eyeballs frozen Oswald, and says he’s not even going to ask – but tells her they found Penn.  A delighted Sofia kisses his forehead.  She tells the other thugs present to take Ed to the docks, shoot him, and throw him in the river.  Why does anyone bother doing this in this town?  It’s the least successful murder spot in the city.

She smiles brightly and bounces out of the room

Let’s go get Mr Penn

Victor follows, grinning like the cat who got the cream.  Wendell knocks warily at Oswald’s ice cube.

Jim and Harvey arrive at the Sumka spa.  They walk into a main hall.  Harvey speaks

What fresh level of hell is this?

Oh dear.  Not to judge – but this is a lot of no.

Jim says they’re looking for Arthur Penn.  The nurse says they try to guarantee anonymity.  They spot Penn trying to escape.  I’d rather exit this scene quickly without the need for description – so Harvey and Jim escort him out.  The end.

 At the Falcone Mansion, Oswald defrosts.  Once out, he screams incoherently at the dentist about he must have been working for Sofia too.  He asks where she is, before walloping him hard on the head and screaming in rage.

Lee is in the car. She answers her phone and asks excitedly if it’s done. Oswald tells her that Sofia left the mansion and is on her way to stop Jim.  He tells her to meet him at the spa and they’ll kill Sofia together.  That’s a bonding experience right there.

Ending the call – he spots Ed’s bowler on the table.  The dentist tells him Ed wouldn't turn on him (but did he actually reveal his location through his compulsive riddling?   Did anyone solve the riddles?   I’m terrible at it).  Oswald asks where he is now.  The dentist tells him they’re at the docks, and Oswald has a visible internal back and forth on whether to go immediately to kill Sofia, or go to the docks to prevent Ed from being murdered.

Back at the spa with Jim and Harvey.  Apparently, Penn worked for Falcone.  He asked him to keep eye on Sofia.  She found out, and made a deal – he had to report on Oswald.  Harvey expresses distaste at his triple-dealing, and Penn indignantly tells him it’s how you stay alive.  Sofia would let him live as long as her kept her one step ahead.  She also asked him to put her in touch with Pyg - so he did, and then told Falcone right away.

Jim tells him they need a statement, but they’re interrupted by the arrival of Victor and Sofia. There’s lots of shooting.  Sofia is wearing a terrible outfit – that soft pink trench-coat again, and high waisted white trousers.  

There’s general mayhem, and Jim gets shot.  He tells Harvey to get Penn out of there – he can make it until backup arrives.

Sofia advances, calling for him

James Gordon.  We could have had a good thing, you and I -  but you had to go and ruin it

Jim reiterates that Harvey should go, and makes it an order.  Sofia tells her men to find Penn and get Gordon.

Jim stumble/runs into the kitchen.  He takes another shot, from Sofia this time. He turns to shoot her, but he’s out of bullets, and staggers away, as Sofia follows.

Outside, Harvey passes Lee as he’s taking Penn away.  Lee calmly strides past him, asking where Sofia is.  Harvey says she’s in there with Jim.  Lee doesn’t deviate pace or fluster, just tells him to take the car as she walks on.  Harvey calls after her that Jim’s hurt bad.

Nearby, Victor and Wendell decide that the day’s more or less over at this point, and they should go get a milkshake.

Jim is stumbling, bleeding heavily.  Sofia is ranting.  She tells him he’s such a disappointment, and shoots again.  She asks if it would have been so bad, being in the palm of her hand, letting her chip away at his soul little by little.  Did he really have to rob her of her revenge?

Jim is on the floor. He tells her it wasn’t about him – he wasn’t going to give her GCPD. Jim – you’re bleeding pretty heavily and all, but she had GCPD.  You were a puppet.

Sofia doesn’t buy this. She tells him of course it was about him – his pride and arrogance.  What she wanted was no different than what her father had for thirty years.  Jim states.

Your father - who you killed

Sofia doesn’t wobble for a moment.

Yes - he disappointed me, just like you

(An aside – Sofia’s murder of Carmine was probably her scariest moment in how he justified it to herself.  A lot of her behaviour and beliefs are probably learned – her childhood sounds messed up.  But we heard her use the old ‘he made me do it’ before with conviction, and hear it again here).

Sofia crouches by him. She tells Jim she still cares for him. If he begs for his life and asks forgiveness, then they can start over.

(An aside - ugh – Sofia has feelings for Jim, apparently.  What did it for her? How easily he was duped by appealing to his ego?  How judgily he looked at her before any of their sexual encounters?  His eye-watering knack for hypocrisy? The way he immediately tried to drop her when she wasn’t useful anymore?)

Jim sits up slightly.

Sofia.  Go to hell

Her face pinches, and she rises

James Gordon - this is where our story ends

Before she can shoot, though – she is shot in the back.  She turns, face shocked.

You!

It’s a calm and smiling Lee

She pulls the trigger again – and puts a bullet through Sofia’s forehead

Yeah - me

Jim falls back to the floor, his head lolls to the side, and stares into Sofia’s open eyes.  We get flashes of Lee trying to keep him conscious as he eventually blacks out.

(An aside – it’s notable here how purposeful and calm Lee was, and how little Jim factored into her actions.  I’m sure saving him was likely pleasing – they have a history – but hearing he was in there didn’t produce a visible reaction, nor did her face change to see him on the floor.  She was entirely focused on revenge.

There’s a narrative logic to Lee killing Sofia, in terms of Gotham’s rules.  She was for a long time, and still is – in a sense – the closest thing the story has to a ‘good’ woman.  She’s nurturing and protective.  Her profession involves caring.  Even before her current stint trying to revive the Narrows, she existed as a symbol in Jim’s story: the motivation for moral redemption, something to protect, something to long for - the ‘love of a good woman’ trope.  For a long time, she hid her knowledge of Jim’s misdeeds – something she was only willing to use recently to protect people who had become more important to her.

In contrast, Sofia is set up as the wicked woman.  She founds an orphanage as a front, and then uses one of the children to manipulate Oswald’s finer feelings.  She uses the memory of his dead mother to do the same – serving up the goulash.  She also preyed on his vulnerability about his physical disability.  She uses sex to manipulate Jim, and uses his misdeeds to exert power over him. She endangers Martin.  She murders her father.  In just about any way a traditional narrative would function (and Gotham employs a lot of fairly traditional tropes) – she ‘fails’ at being a good woman.  She’s cold where Lee is passionate, destructive where she’s nurturing, uncaring where she is protective.

In terms of narrative, then – Lee taking Sofia out is the kind of moral judgment you’d probably expect. That Lee does it herself, and later seems to enjoy using violence, I suppose raises questions of whether the story now sees Lee as ‘tainted’ by her actions.)

 At the pier, Ed is being led, chuckling to the water’s edge.  One of the thugs offers a bad riddle.  Ed rolls his eyes, and tells them just to do it.  Before they can they’re shot.  Ed turns, and sees that it’s Oswald

He asks if he already killed Sofia, but he tells him no – she left the mansion to pursue Jim, and if he’d gone there he wouldn’t have made it to the pier in time. Ed is confused – Oswald gave up his revenge to save Ed?

Oswald looks out at the city.  He tells Ed that trust is so very hard to find in Gotham, but he trusts Ed. Really?   He thought he betrayed him, like, half an hour ago.  Whatever, though.  They both put their guns away and stare out over the water.  Ed says he has a strong desire never to see this pier again.  Oswald rolls his eyes, and heartily agrees.

(An aside - Oswald trusts Ed?  This makes no sense either.  Unless Oswald has essentially decided that Ed is ‘lawful evil’, and that digging up his father’s remains, humiliating in front of the public whose affection and respect he craved, and then attempting to murder him was a fair response to Isabella’s murder – and that therefore Ed can be trusted because he’ll only ever strike in retaliation. Play by the rules, and you’re fine.  

To be honest, I’d find it more believable if he did it to fulfil a sense of duty to the Ed whom he essentially buried alive when he enabled the Riddler personality to come to the fore, and who is – in a sense – an unwilling passenger in all this. But hey – why bother grounding actions in personality and motivation?)

Jim wakes up in a hospital room, with quite a good colour about him for someone who was shot so much. Harvey is there.  He tells him Lee saved him – even one-handed, she’s a damn good doctor.  Sofia is apparently in a coma. Wow – really? Right through the forehead?  OK

Jim frowns.  He tells Harvey when he gets out he’ll confess everything.  He has to come clean.  Harvey tells him no.  That would only benefit Jim’s martyr complex and make him feel better.   He tells him if he wants to pay his debt he has to live with it, like he does.  Oh Harvey. That would only work if Jim had a properly developed sense of guilt.  You’ve made the same mistake as Sofia.

Jim says that Sofia wins after all.  Harvey says it’s what the city needs.  

Jim asks after Lee. Harvey says she went back to the Narrow – unfinished business.

Cherry's – where Samson is being beaten.  Lee walks down the stairs, making an entrance, a hammer hanging at her belt.  Samson yells that he’ll go.  Lee smiles

Oh, I know - just not yet

She tells the men to hold his hand out.  Samson yells no – but to no avail.  Lee’s eyes light up, and she seriously goes to town on his hand – enjoying it quite a lot.

 At Sirens, Barbara is in pain.  Tabitha is going on about how they need to grab power, but Barbara snaps at her – in too much pain to listen.  Tabitha strops off sulkily.

Barbara looks down at her hand -which is glowing white, like the thing Ra’s gave her.  As she looks up, she sees him walk through the crowd.  She stares in shock, the air around her blurring and jolting.

General Observations

Forgiveness is the name of the game today.  It’s offered and accepted just about everywhere.  Jim and Harvey seem to have worked towards a tentative truce, even though things are still delicate.  Jim and Oswald have a meaningful handshake – forgiveness requested and granted hidden beneath the surface.  Ed and Oswald eventually seem to have reached a truce that will enable them to cooperate when necessary and maybe even sustain friendship.  Lee’s keeping Jim alive after he’s shot is mostly down to her personality and their history – but there’s also some tacit forgiveness in there, maybe, for his actions around Mario.  There’s a lot of pain and history to go round – but as Bruce tells Selina, sometimes sorry is enough.

Except for Sofia. Forgiveness has to be offered, but she demands Jim beg her for it.  In turn, she’s punished by Lee – who has no intention of offering forgiveness.

The practical result of all that is resetting the chessboard before the next big plot.  

Harvey is back at GCPD, and Jim is still Captain.  I’m not sure to what extent they’re completely OK with each other – but they’re working together now.

Oswald is out of Arkham. He’s established a truce with Ed which will enable them to cooperate. He seems to have forgiven Jim.  Sofia is temporarily gone, and Martin is temporarily safe.  He was willing to joint-kill Sofia with Lee.

Lee has embraced the darker side of herself.  She’s back to running the Narrows, and is now a formidable power as well as on the side of her people. Her focus on getting revenge on Sofia was impressive, as was her calmness throughout.

Ed is currently in his Riddler persona.  He’s mended fences with Oswald, but regained an enemy in Butch.

Ed and Lee warrant their own paragraph, I think.  I’d be surprised if we don’t see things develop further there.  We’ve already got the foundation of the Ed/Lee friendship, then we were shown Ed falling for her, then we got the little flickers of romantic expectation we saw from Lee in the previous episode.  In this episode, they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, and there was tension crackling all over the place.  

Barbara’s having creepy headaches, Selina is pretty much awol, and Tabitha is trying to figure out how to grab power after they fundamentally backed the wrong horse.  Sirens is pretty much in disarray. 

Victor Fries has funding now.  I think we definitely need to see more of him for important narrative reasons.  Much more

Thoughts?

[leaveharmony]

In 2014, NJPW released a few short documentaries on World, before Wrestle Kingdom 9.  They were all released in versions with and without english subtitles; this is my transcription of the english subtitles on part one of Shinsuke Nakamura’s.  I’ve done this before with plain screencaps interspersed (nobody cared then either!) but I wanted to redo it with .gifs, ‘cos I really love these little videos, and ‘cos I can now, and also, just ‘cos.  :) 

This is Part 1, Part 2 is here.

(The main part of the video opens with Shinsuke walking down a crowded street in a shopping district)

Caption: In the busy Komachi street, we found  Nakamura

Interviewer’s question as they walked near some bakeries:  “Do you often eat  sweets like this, Nakamura-san?”

Shinsuke:  “Can I appear on talk shows if I do? (laughs)”

(this seems like a non-sequitur but per info from a better-versed friend of mine, I guess Makabe often shows up on TV eating stuff like that b/c compared with his gruff image, people think it’s funny, so Shin may have been making a little bit of fun of that here)

IQ:  “How often do you eat them?”

SN:  “Well, I used to eat them regularly.  In particular rice cakes, because my parents shop.”

IQ:  “Rice cake shop?”

SN:  “Not rice shop, they only sold rice cakes,  making sweet bean paste in a caldron.”

(**transcriber’s note: Shinsuke’s father was a banker, he was in poor health from the time Shinsuke was in middle school, and died suddenly on his first day of classes at university.  According to his book they did in fact run a small sweet shop that he would stop in at on his way home from school in highschool, to snack, but I’m not sure exactly how long they ran the place or if his mother still does)

Caption: Suddenly he is drawn into one of the  shops

Caption: Kamakura Ichibanya, Kamakura City

(Shinsuke buys some nuresenbei, wet rice crackers.  He takes them & thanks the shop clerk, smiling hugely.  He stands outside eating  one, then starts laughing a bit)

SN: “It tastes great.”

IQ:  “Is it ‘Nuresen’?”

SN:  “Yes.  It’s not a crunchy rice cracker but moist.  (he’s still laughing)  That’s nice.”

IQ:  “Is it like you?”

SN:  “This..(he’s still eating) no firmness.”

(Shinsuke moves on, grinning.  He’s got  seaweed blacking out a few of his front teeth  from the crackers & keeps grinning to show  this off b/c he is a precious bean and also a  weirdo.  )

(Shinsuke stops again, at a rack of christmas  cards)

SN: “Let’s make it a rule to omit New Years  cards if we send Christmas cards.”

IQ:  “Do you send christmas cards?”

SN:  “I send either of them.  I receive christmas cards from abroad.  From other  wrestlers, and my friends.”

IQ:  “Rocky Romero?”

SN, laughing:  “He’s the last person who’d  send me a card.”

IQ:  Alex?  (Koslov, presumably, who used to tag w/ Rocky in CHAOS as Forever Hooligans)

SN:  “No, he’s too stupid to do it.”

IQ:  “It’s time to prepare New Years cards.”

SN (laughing but with a pained look):  “Yes, it is.”

IQ:  “How will your card be like this year?”

SN:  “I’d like to abolish New Year’s cards if possible. (he starts laughing again)”

IQ:  “Do you have an image of your card?”

SN:  “I haven’t thought about it at all.  Just  looking at Christmas cards.”

IQ:  “It’s time to prepare them though.”

SN:  “I’ll just buy some at the post office.  (laughing again)”

IQ:  “Don’t you use your creativity?”

SN:  “No.  If I devoted myself to it, I  couldn’t finish them in time to send out.”

(he moves on down the street)

Caption: He can seldom find time for himself  due to his extremely busy schedule

(as they walk, Shinsuke sees a shop and says  “They are renting kimono.” They’re  interrupted by one of Shinsuke’s phones  ringing.)

SN (talking to someone on the phone): I don’t  have time at all this week.

Caption: During the shooting, he received a  call for an interview.

SN:  “I’m on camera right now.  Yes.  Why don’t  you come over to Fukushima?”

(*transcriber’s  note: an upcoming show was taking place  there)

SN:  “The match is on Friday.  Thank you for calling.”

(he hangs up, another pained  expression.  He turns around and says, “Here  is a traffic light” as they cross the street.  There’s a brief scene from a later part of the interview, obviously a reference to how busy he is here)

SN:  “I lose or break my cell phone so that they can’t find me, but they force me to  finish all my tasks anyway.”

(Shinsuke is walking through a tunnel)

Caption: Knowing the dark age of NJPW, how does he view its prosperity?

SN:  “It was said to be a hard era but  sometimes I really doubt that.  I think it  was harder when we started NJPW.  There were  various eras.  I experienced the time of  transition.  As I’ve been in the middle of that era, I’m not sure if it has reached its  peak, although it is considered successful now.  I don’t think we can keep the status  quo for long.  We always need to make change  to progress even if it is internal and  invisible.  I’m not satisfied with it.  Not  at all.”

IQ:  “Do you still have many things to do?”

SN:  “Yes, though I need to look for what to  do.”

Caption: Lunchtime enjoy tastes in Shonan.  

(We focus on the sea, and then a bowl of  helpfully-labelled raw whitebait, a Shonan speciality.  Shinsuke is sitting at a table in front of a tray of food.)

SN: “I’m about to have Tsukudani with rice.”

(fun fact caption popup: “fish-lover”)

IQ:  “Here it is.”

SN (laughing):  “This is raw whitebait, not  Tsukudani.  How much whitebait is fished at  once?  (he picks his hashi up) How many are  there in this bowl?”

IQ:  “Count them.”

SN (laughing):  “Alright, I will.  (he starts  pointing with his hashi and pretending to  count each one) One, two, three, four…I  guess they are about a thousand.  How much  whitebait are landed at one time?  (he starts  to eat)  Is it strange if I don’t eat the whitebait from this bowl?  I’ll start.  (he  takes a bite, and makes a noise that’s hard  to interpret exactly)  It’s like…I can  enjoy its texture, right?  (he starts  laughing again as he’s eating)”

IQ:  “Does it have a taste?”

SN:  “No, not really.  Whitebait doesn’t stand  out on its own, that’s why we add ginger or  shiso.  That’s how to really enjoy this dish.   (he laughs again - I don’t think what he was  eating had either in it)  It tastes good.”

Caption: His daily diet

SN (talking with his mouth full,  occasionally laughing about it):   “These days I think a lot about balance.  My diet used to be too strict so I lost that balance.  So,  there is no “on” and “off” for me.  During a tour, I mainly eat out and most dishes are too heavy, so at home I try to avoid such  heavy food.  I eat lots of seaweed.  On the day after a typhoon, we rush to the shore and  collect the seaweed washed ashore or fallen off racks.  We put them in plastic bags to share them with neighbors.  On top of that,  sometimes a lot of sardines wash up on shore.   We run back down to the shore again and gather sardines in bags.  (laughing)  I think it’s familiar to the people here.” 

SN:  “We go to the sea after a storm.  One  thing that I found that surprised me most  were some dentures.  (laughing)  They were  pretty nice, too.”

Caption: Heading for a major spot of Kamakura  walk.  Suddenly on the way…he became curious about the signboard of Daibutsu

IQ:  “Why were you checking out the Daibutsu  signboard?”

SN:  “We have Kami-sama (gods) and Oshaka-sama (Buddhas)…the Daibutsu is a Hotoke-sama  (Buddha statue).  So why don’t we use ‘-sama-?   (laughing) Only Daibutsu is ‘Daibutsu.’  Even for place names, ‘-sama’ isn’t used. Buses  are ‘bound for Daibutsu’ or ‘Daibutsu slope’.   Why isn’t it ‘Daibutsu-sama’?”

IQ:  “Did the board distract you?”

SN:  “Yes, badly.  Did Daibutsu do something  wrong?  (laughing)  It’s disrespectful.”

Caption: Kotokuin, Kamakura City

(Shinsuke goes to a …I don’t know the term  but it’s like a little pavilion with  cleansing water in it)

Caption: Before having the honor of seeing he cleans himself

(Shinsuke takes one of the ladels, runs water  over both hands and takes a drink, then says  “All right.” and continues on his way)

Caption: Time to see Daibutsu

(Shinsuke arrives at the big Buddha statue,  in a pretty wooded spot.  It’s…really  really big.)

IQ:  “Is this your first time seeing Daibutsu?”

SN:  “I thought you could see it sooner, but on the way here, it just suddenly appeared.   (laughs)”

Caption:  Kamakura Daibutsu, national  treasure, height 11.312m weight 121t

SN:  “I think…it has four birds on its head,  and…it’s kind of cute. (he starts laughing  again)  It looks great.”

(transcriber’s note:  one of the few things I actually understood,  here he actually said “eeeeeeh, sugoi.”)

SN:  “It would be quite tall standing up.  Wow.   I wish it would start moving.”  

Caption: (I think they intended to ask him  more what he thought about it, but then)  Nakamura suddenly started moving to another space.  Something came up in his mind.

(Shinsuke wanders off by the trees, looking  at the ground.  A maintenance guy is using a  leaf blower in the background)

The maintenance guy: Do you like coloured  leaves?  (the interviewer reiterates the question, Shinsuke doesn’t appear to have heard)

SN:  “I’m looking for ginkgo nuts.  (everybody  starts laughing)”

IQ:  “Are there any?”

SN:  “No.  The nuts are all cleared away.”

(transcriber’s note: all but the big cute one in the hat, that is)

Caption: We take off our hat to his unpredictable behavior.

(a bit of time passes - Shinsuke is perched  on one of the log benches, looking around at people, and the statue)

SN:  “I like doing nothing.  Well…yes.  Not only on my days off but also in the time between work, practices or any other commitments, I find chances to relax.  (laughing)”

IQ:  “Do you see anything interesting?”

SN:  “I saw two guys from Thailand.  They were  taking photos of each other, posing in their  own favorite ways.  Depending on the country  it varies how people pose or frame photos.   Some people put tape on the ground and take  turns.  (laughing)  It’s impressive.”

IQ (about the tape on the ground):  “What do  you think this is?”

SN:  “The tape marks the spot to stand.  It is definitely a marker because…(he looks oddly faraway, sad) there are more over there.  I’m curious.”

(we switch to dusk, and Shinsuke walking  along the shore of the sea)

Caption: The sea is a familiar thing for Nakamura

IQ:  “How are the waves today?”

SN, laughing:  “There are no waves today.   Typhoon no.22 has already gone to the west.   No swell is approaching.  There is no wind to make windwells.”  

Caption: The life with the sea

SN:  “How to I say this…when I am in the sea,  I feel the energy of nature wiping away the concerns clinging to my mind.  I feel the  ocean wiping them away.  Not only because  good thing I can think of but I like the ocean, because I think I feel more at ease in the water.”

Caption: Dream

SN:  “My dream?  Well, I always want to be  newly inspired I don’t know if pro wrestling  is the means to achieve that dream, but I am  trying to come closer and closer to a sort of  ideal of myself.  What matters to me is not  what other people think.  It is, at the end  of the day, how much I can accept myself.  It  isn’t if I’m satisfied, but rather if I make sense to myself.  I also have small dreams.   (he starts laughing) I want to live in a  southern island without any cares, or to  spend my time only having fun.  But I think I need various views whether good or bad, in order to do what I want.”

Caption: What pro wrestling is?

SN:   “Pro wrestling?  For me, it is  something…although I can say it in different ways, it allows me to express my  emotions that I can’t express in words, or to  show that I am alive.  I can unleash my various emotions through pro wrestling,  including both positive and negative ones,  such as stress, unsatisfaction and joy.  It  is also evidence of my own existence, proof  that I am alive, I am here, and I am a person  like this.  I don’t treat it as a mere sport.”

[breeeliss]

Chlonette and mermaids

this isn’t really very plotty but idk modern mermaid au i guess :P

words: 1961

Marinette looked into her old jewelry box and realized she was quickly running out of stock. 

About the only things left inside that she was willing to part with were a stack of silver rings (fake silver probably, but that was Marinette’s secret) and a strange bronze bee broach that her aunt had gotten her for her birthday three years ago that Marinette never bothered to wear. She dug around her closet for her old hand mirror with the cracked handle and decided that all this was enough. It was probably time to start scouring thrift stores and street fairs, but she’d worry about that later. 

She stuffed everything into her bag, grabbed a croissant from the kitchen counter, and started to make her way towards the pier. 

It was early enough in the morning that not many people were by the beach with the exception of the occasional fisherman heading to the southern part of the pier with fishing rods and baskets full of bait. Marinette headed in the opposite direction until she came upon a part of the rickety, wooden banister that was damaged, leaving a hole just large enough for Marinette to slip past. She looked around her to make sure no one was watching before she squeezed through the gap and carefully started to shimmy down one of the posts until she was dropping down onto a small bank of rocks underneath the walkway. 

Marinette squinted against the sunrise coming just over the horizon as she whistled a quick tune with four long notes and waited. 

It only took a few seconds for a glimmering golden fin to breach the surface of the water just a few meters away. Marinette watched the ripples in the water begin to get closer to her until they finally started to swirl around her feet. A blonde head of hair carefully poked up from underneath the water. “Is the coast clear?”

“No one’s around, don’t worry,” Marinette assured. “You can come up.”

“Oh, wonderful.” 

Chloe leaned her hands against the bank of rocks and carefully lifted herself up to sit right next to Marinette, stretching her long golden tail out in front of her so that her scales could dry in the sun. She collected all of her hair in her hands and wrung out all the water, being careful not to disturb the chains of pearls she had braided throughout her hair. “You don’t usually come on Tuesdays. Don’t you open up the bakery in the mornings?” 

“It’s a holiday today, so school’s out and the bakery is closed,” Marinette explained. “Thought I’d come visit.” 

“You’re lucky,” Chloe smirked. “I was just out this morning looking for jellyfish.”

Marinette dug through her bag. “Jellyfish?”

“Of course, darling. Do you think my tail stays this smooth and shiny through will power? Proper tail maintenance is important. It’s downright tragic how other mermaids tend to neglect that.” 

“Don’t jellyfish sting?”

“Oh, they do! But the tingle it leaves afterwards is worth it. That means it’s working.” 

Marinette chuckled and made sure to file away that little mermaid factoid away for later. She pulled out the stack of silver rings, held it up to the light, and handed it to Chloe. “It’s been a while since I brought you things to add to your collection so I’d thought I’d bring some things by.”

Chloe gasped and snatched it out of Marinette’s hands, rolling it around in her palms and marveling at the way the metal shone in the light. “Oh, they’re so bright!!!”

“Yeah, I thought you might like them. I’ve only worn them once and they’re too big for me so I don’t use them very often.”

Chloe slipped the rings on all of her fingers and found that they were also too big to fit snugly. “That’s okay. I can probably figure out a way to turn it into a hair clip or something. It’s really hard to swim sometimes with your hair getting in your face.”

“I know it’s not diamonds or rubies or anything like that, but you’re good at finding good uses for random things.” 

“Ah, finding beauty in even the most lowly of places,” Chloe sighed, fluttering her lashes with a smile. “It’s the saint in me.” 

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Alright. Your turn.” 

Chloe tapped her finger against her lips before searching the dozens of baubles and doodads she had hooked onto the gold chains hanging around her hips like a belt. It took her a couple of minutes to find what she was looking for, but eventually she cheered and handed Marinette a compass that was caked in dried sand and looked to be a couple hundred years old. 

Marinette opened it and found that the needle was stuck and wouldn’t move no matter how much she turned her body. “Huh. Is it broken?”

“Oh I have absolutely no idea what it is,” Chloe said distractedly as she tried to pry apart the rings and twist them into a different shape. “I’ve had it for ages, but it doesn’t do anything and it’s rather big and ugly.”

Marinette scowled. “So you gave it to me because it’s ugly? Thanks a lot, you brat.”

“What? You’re a human. That nonsense was invented by humans. It’s perfect for you. Anyway, what’s it supposed to do?”

“It tells you which direction you’re traveling in. The needle in the middle is supposed to always point north but I think the mechanism is off. Probably belonged to a sailor or something.” 

“That’s a stupid old thing to have. Why not just look up at the stars?”

Marinette shrugged. “I’m not much of a sailor so I don’t know whether people still look at the stars. I think compasses are just easier.”

“So how do you get around?”

“GPS mostly. A lot of cellphones have them.”

“What’s a GPS?”

“Oh, it’s uh….it’s like a thing that tells you where you are at all times. You just check your cellphone and it’ll tell you exactly where you are. Cellphones are like little boxes we can use to call people and find out information and all sorts of cool things.”

Chloe rolled her eyes and started to twirl the ends of her hair between her fingers. “Sounds boring.” 

Marinette smiled. “Boring, huh? Well, then I guess if it’s so boring I’ll just take the rest of this stuff home with me. You probably won’t be very interested in it anyway – ”

“Hold on a second!! Let me see what you have, don’t just go!”

Marinette always thought that thing in The Little Mermaid about mermaids collecting human things was just something that people made up for the sake of storybooks. But it turns out that it was founded on a lot more truth than Marinette realized. Chloe didn’t really care much for the functionality of the things that interested her. Her favorite things were trinkets that were broken or useless but looked extremely pretty. All things shiny, precious, and golden immediately enchanted her, and she always found a way to turn it into a charm for her belts, a new ring, a new bracelet, a new hair accessory, and countless other strange purposes that Marinette was sure only ever made sense to a mermaid. Marinette learned not to question it. Besides, she as able to convince Chloe into making this like a gift exchange once a week so that Marinette could get something interesting from the ocean as well. Besides, it wasn’t often that people could say they were friends with a mermaid. 

She managed to exchange her hand mirror for a vial of crushed sea urchins that doubled as nail polish and exchange her bee broach for a pair of earrings that were actually just broken shell pieces attached to what looked like an old, thin fishhook. Strange gifts, but Marinette didn’t want to be rude by refusing them. Besides, she was more interested in the stories that went along with Chloe’s gifts rather than the gifts themselves. Chloe’s picky, snooty, and sarcastic behavior became tolerable whenever she told one of her tall tales. It wasn’t everyday that you got to listen to adventures about swimming to the United States, diving down into the ocean until it was too dark to see, dodging storms, and scouring ship wrecks. Marinette was tempted to take the time to find Chloe a really amazing and expensive gift only so that she’ll get some fantastical story in return. 

“Oh!” Chloe exclaimed after she put away her presents, her tail splashing around the surface and soaking Marinette’s pants with seawater. “I totally forgot to tell you! I found the most amazing thing the other day and I think you’d love it!”

“What?”

“I found this old rowboat near my home that must have sunk a few years ago,” Chloe started explaining. “But there was a trunk in the back that had a bunch of clothes in them. Sort of like what you’re wearing, but there were so many more things. Like those strange things you put on your feet to walk around. These wire-things that have two circles of glass on them that I think you may need to look through. And head things! Stuff that go on your head. Hats? Yeah, I think they’re called hats.” 

Marinette giggled. “Did you take anything?”

“No, I have to go back,” Chloe said. “But I figured I’d come and ask you if you wanted some of it first. You said you sew clothing and things right? I mean the clothes are a little dirty but they should still be okay with a few washes. Remind me. I’ll bring the trunk over next time.” 

“Oh perfect! I won’t have to buy fabric later.” 

“You….buy fabric?”

“Don’t start.”

Chloe lifted her hands. “Okay, okay, fine. Humans are confusing and ridiculous. Get used to it. I’ve got it.” 

“I was saying,” Marinette continued. “That if you managed to bring those old clothes back I can bring you some bakery sweets.” 

Chloe’s eyes lit up. “Sweets?”

“Mmhm. With sugar and honey and milk and all sorts of things you don’t have in the ocean. Trust me, I have a couple more things you might like.” 

“Ohhhh, is it going to make me fat?” Chloe asked, pressing her hands to her stomach. “I promised myself I would go on a bit of a diet this month.” 

“A small amount won’t do anything, so I’ll only bring a couple,” Marinette promised. “Besides, you have a pretty bad sweet tooth ever since I brought you those cookies the first time and I feel like I just have to keep enabling you since it’s too far gone to stop.”

Chloe smirked. “Revisiting an old shipwreck and plundering for treasure in exchange for sweets is almost universally worth it.”

Marinette laughed. “Nice to know we’re on the same page. I’m off again tomorrow, so maybe I’ll bring them then.” 

“You better,” Chloe warned. “I’m going to break a couple of nails getting this trunk for you, so the least you can do is pay in human food.” 

“Your sacrifices will be most appreciated.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“in front of you? I’m offended you would think so.” 

“I’ll have you know it’s a lot of work to make my nails this strong.”

“What, is there special mermaid nail maintenance that I should know about?”

“You know? It’s funny you should say that – “

“Oh no no no, stop, I was kidding, I don’t want to hear it!”

“ – because as a matter of fact there is! Oh, it’s good you don’t have any plans today because this might take a while. You see, there’s this special kind of moss you have to get, right….” 

[anxious-band-pan]

A list of random crackheadery from high school cause I low key miss it

“I’m gonna yeet myself into the afterlife”

“I’m gonna rotisserie cook your future children and eat them”

“KARMA’S A B*TCH!” Yelled while playing a game of uno in homeroom very loudly

a kid walked around our lunchroom with a fake blue bird pinned in his hair which was life size and honestly the weirdest part of lunch

“What should i put on my shirt for (x club)? It’s between uwu, Space Boi uwu, and rawr XD. My goal is to be as cringey as possible.”

*crying* “Well you just threw off my groove and i-“

(To the tune of G-6) “I’m a dumb bish, I’m a dumb bish”

“(X name)! How far would you have been if i didn’t stop you to tell you you’re a thot”. “Probably yeeted off a bridge by now”

“He just looks like a sad pigeon with a boss hat”

(To the tune of celebrate good times) “end my suffering, come on!”

“My hands are white!” “YOU’RE WHITE!”

“I’m a firm believer in don’t judge something unless you try it, unless it’s illegal or drugs; don’t do drugs kids”

“.....but not all dogs can fit on skateboards!”

“Can we just cut my legs off and sell them”

“Invade my body, daddy bacteria”

“That’s what I imagine it would sound like if a spider ran in tap shoes”

“My church had an average attendance of 421 this year, we were so freaking close”

“Did you know that Waluigi has the same number of syllables as hallelujah, so if you think of any song with hallelujah in it you can replace it with Waluigi and it’ll fit”

“Anyone wanna feel my swollen gland”

“Your gay is like your mother’s tendency to sleep with men: plentiful”

“If being gay is a sin is satan the gay fairy”

“Vines are like actual vines: you get stuck and you never get out” “vines can choke you though” “Yes choke me daddy vine”

“You are each gonna have a burger component on your back” “I wanna be the meat ;)”

“Grab me however you want daddy hamburger”

*showing a paper with a picture of a bottom bun* “I guess you could say I’m a.... bottom”

“STOP EATING THE DUCT TAPE!”

“Shut up, don’t talk about my potatoes like that”

“Can you snort tide pods”

*whisper screaming and hitting a chair* “WHY IS COTTON EYED JOE BACK”

“But if two furries screw, is god cool with that?”

“PHD- pretty high dolphins”

“Do crocs have memory foam? i think not”

“I’ve run out of creative ways to whip”

“This is why we shouldn’t legalize weed, because we’re having this conversation sober”

“Don’t you just get sad every time a chair dies”

“Praise our lord and savior, Magic Mike”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you can guess what’s in my thermos.” “Coffee.” “No. It’s chicken noodle soup”

“I’m gonna eat your fingernails” “did you say EAT” “yeah, I’m gonna chew his fingernails off”

“I already went back to Mexico”

“You’re the BFG” “How so” “Big Frickin Gay”

“But since you’re gay, would you date me if i was” “the only way I’d date you is if you were an online catfish”

“We have a speaker with fake arms today” “he cant bring those in the school those are weapons” “how is he gonna throw them?” “With his feet”

“did you say the THOT police?” “no you idiot the THOUGHT police”

“I’m not scared of Russia. Like honestly i can beat them”

“I share a brian with satan and it smells shirty” (not a typo. Those exact words. I think it was making fun of a typo)

“I look like I’m about to go repaint all my mugs with lead paint”

“And today on the game show of sentences i never thought I’d have to say: it’s not a necklace if you buy it in the pet aisle of walmart”

“You look like the kind of person who would cut spaghetti with dull scissors”

“Hey, hey, hey, not in my f***ing Christian Minecraft server”

“We’re all going to hell” “Not me” “listen we’re in a school we’re already there” “True”

*to the tune of “what is love? Baby don’t hurt me”* “POKÉMON! BABY DON’T HURT ME, DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE”

“YO! PITBULL JUST CAME IN AND OFFERED DONUTS!”

“I’m gonna suck your eyeballs”

“Are we not allowed to have our nails painted since we’re guys” -a definite female, to another definite female

“Ok, so here’s the deal: straight people are uncooked spaghetti. Gay people are cooked rotini. I’m kinda like a cooked spaghetti. I’m not straight, I’m in between.” “The Italian is now interested I’m here what’s up with pasta”

“This song reminds me of Mexican food” “How does this remind you of Mexican food it’s jazz?”

“You’re not allowed to switch schools, I need my twin cop”

“You guys are the reason I wanna die” “you guys are the reason I drink”

*taking a huge drink of peanut butter hot chocolate* “I’m allergic to peanut butter” “THEN WHY DID YOU DRINK IT????” “Because i wanna die”

“so there’s two kinds of country hicks: the yee haws and the haw yees. Now the yee haws are the ones in country songs, they’re vaguely normal and drink and do horse riding stuff. The haw yees are the ones who fish with their hands and then f*** their cousins afterwards”

“Pop is just spicy water”

“I’m sorry, it’s not pizza Steve anymore” “Who is it” “the fresh prince of bel air”

A kid took his phone out of the microwave like that was a normal thing that humans do

“BUT IS HE DATING THE DEER?!”

“Chinese people eat cats, why not lesbians?” *teacher looks up* “saying Chinese people eat cats is too far”

“A gryffindor and a ravenclaw ooh this is good”

Two girls at the exact same time: *Gasp* TEA!

*girl leans back and cracks her head on a counter kind of thing* a friend:”that’s the third f***ing time!”

“SUCK MY WEENIS!”

“If you ever need a professional con artist I’m here” *teacher looks up* “you didn’t hear that” teacher:”hear what”

“Guys I’m stupid. You know when there’s a big number and then a lil number what’s the lil one called” “exponent?” “Yeah!”

*impersonating yoda screaming*

*chugging coffee* “well, I’m still just as tired, but now my atoms are just jazzed.”

“Not to quote Frozen, but you can’t marry a man you just met!”

“Not knowing what kind of exorcise people are talking about is always interesting, because I don’t know if we’re talking about working out or satan”

“If we actually die in the scene where they kill themselves, do we get bonus?” Teacher: *sighs* “sure.”

“Physically you have hair but spiritually you’re bald.”

*Singing boyfriend by BTR for about an hour straight*

“Stop saying teehee you sound like off brand Michael Jackson”

“He smells dead mice for a living!”

*kicking someone’s foot off a ledge* “long live the king!”

*holding a banana like a weapon* “give me all your debt!”

“I want my fingers to be four inches long”

“Let me read your head for a second”

“Oh no you’re white out now”

“This is what happens when your insides are cold”

“Did you just call me a dumb banana?”

“So Kelvin is Fahrenheit...”

“Let me add another fat roll to your arm”

“You wanna see a cute pic of my baby nephew?” “Sure but I might cry”

“Listen I need these pictures to load so I can see if my goats are being little crackheads”

“I keep trying to see if you’re a VSCO girl but you’re holding out on us”

“Pumpkin. Spice. Bleach.”

“I’m already a mother and I don’t like it.”

“This is a vegan cult, Jessica”

“Did you just say you started a religion?” “Yeah, I think I’ll call it the Fedoras”

“Isn’t a fedora just like... a cowboy hat but formal”

“Yes choke me daddy panic”

“I’m your emotional support crackhead deal with it”

“She got possessed by country satan”

“If you think about it toes are just little feet”

“Oh my god imagine if you pronounced Roosevelt like goose”

“Roosevelt got really sad when i broke up with him.”

“I love how I just classified reaper as its own state of being”

“So Santa’s not a cryptid”

“We’re not meat creatures like crabs”

“Do you want to be a famous writing?”

“Self care is becoming a breaded chicken tender on the weekends”

“You are a little yellow boy”

“I gotta look up how to have a stroke”

“At least you still have straight privilege”

“You piece of b*tch”

“Children having skulls is scary”

“You wanna crochet my friend a rat”

“If you kill yourself and you have a life insurance policy that your family then collects, is that insurance fraud?”

“Spaghetti man is talking about pregnancy and I’m scared”

“You’re the cutest trash I’ve ever seen”

“Poetry? Lame. DriversEd? Lame. Dousing myself in butter and becoming a dinner roll? F*ckin’ MINT”

“Finally, an invention to get rid of me” *zooms in on words garbage disposal*

“Is Swiper from Dora a furry or an actual fox?”

“I’m laughing because I just realized the word identity has t*tty in it”

“Oh my god I thought Paris was a country”

“Girl if you are having a baby this month the only thing you are birthing is FLAT Stanley”

“My eyes really said gardening”

“I snorted soapy water this morning”

“Intestines: do you really need them or are they a social construct?”

“I watched the first episode of that show illegally, and it was great”

“How much does a hit man cost in this economy?”

“Is santa wearing stripper heels?”

“No, I didn’t give birth to a baby cow”

“I am a whole grape not a raisin”

“I’ve decided on my career. I’m becoming a hit man for cheap”

“And you fought the tomato”

“You can be gay with the homeless”

[tripstations]

Here’s All the Best Stuff to Do in Mykonos and Santorini

Very lame, but I’ve always been kinda afraid of traveling. It’s not a fear of flying, but more that I was born in another country and, as such, overseas travel means a dramatic family visit weighed down with stress, guilt, and 20+ hours on a plane to Asia (where even as a 9-year-old, I was already on some shit about compression socks).

All this to say I don’t feel anything when people quit their jobs to travel the world, and follow zero travel Instagrammers. I’ve gone my entire life without ~seeing the world~ (couldn’t afford to study abroad so my personality doesn’t hinge on four months I spent in Paris, sorry!) and honestly, I would’ve been fine with that forever.

But when I got an invite to tour Mykonos and Santorini on a hotel-hopping trip with Katikies Resorts and Clubs, even *I* was like, HOLYSHITYES. After all, Santorini has been called the “Instagram Island” and when one of the top ten most Instagrammable hotels in Greece (where even Justin Bieber has stayed) invites you on a dream summer vacay, you don’t ask how they got your e-mail—you just GO before they change their minds. Anyway, here are all the fun things that impressed me the most.

First up, don’t even think about leaving without the following:

Butterfly Dress

Reformation thereformation.com

$278.00

Wide Brim Straw Hat

Sensi Studio modaoperandi.com

$295.00

Ultra Jungle Cat-Eye Sunglasses

Crap Eyewear crapeyewear.com

$79.00

Face Crème Night Time/Anytime

Cece Top

Sommer Swim sommerswim.com

$69.00

Jane Bottom

Sommer Swim sommerswim.com

$69.00

Rosemead Dress

Reformation thereformation.com

$198.00

The Bigger Carry-On

Away awaytravel.com

$245.00

Alegra Slip

Sommer Swim sommerswim.com

$219.00

Biore UV Aqua Rich Sunscreen SPF 50+

Mavic 2 Pro

DJI Mavic 2 dji.com

$1,499.00

1. Party it up at all the Mykonos clubs before going to Santorini.

If you are like me two weeks ago and have no idea how to distinguish between different Greek islands, trust when I say you’re gonna wanna do Mykonos first and then Santorini. Why? Totally different vibes. Mykonos is club central—the energy there is extremely horny, and you’ll want to get hedonistic and loose there first before calming down and sightseeing in Santorini, where everyone is coupled up. Everyone is also super hot (still thinking about you, hot passport control guy, imy), friendly, and funny.

Book Now Katikies Mykonos

In the wedding party of my dreams, we rent a bunch of private villas in Mykonos, go to Elia beach, and lounge around our private pool (IDK what’s up with the pool industry in Greece, but it seems like even two-bedroom vacay villas have ones the size of McMansions) before hitting up the two main hot spots: Scorpios and Nammos. If you’re a night owl, you will THRIVE in Mykonos: Parties usually don’t “start” until 2 a.m., and they easily last until 6. Lindsay Lohan may or may not be there.

2. Go shopping in Mykonos town.

The long, winding streets of Mykonos town are filled with little shops and scenic nooks and crannies perfect for ’gramming. Take a day to explore by foot, and add in time for a leisurely lunch and dinner.

During lunch at Kazarma, our waiter mentioned that the historic building used to be owned by Mantos Mavrogenous, a bad bitch who kept a cache of weapons and cash in the building during the Greek War of Independence. Yes, she wound up dying alone, broke from spending all her money on the war effort (for which she was never repaid), and yes, we stan.

3. Take the ferry and bop over to Santorini.

The ferry takes around four hours (compared to the one-hour flight) but offers a much more scenic route. They usually stop to pick up passengers in Naxos, Paros, and Ios, and you can go on the deck to scope out the different cities. Didn’t have time to see any ruins on your trip? The Portara is easily visible from the ferry deck and dates back to 530 BC.

When it’s time to dock in Santorini, you’ll go down into the bowels of the ferry to collect your luggage before disembarking. It’s very much like you’re in Star Wars shipping off in the belly of a giant spacecraft before the gates open and SUN! SANTORINI! JK, you can’t see anything yet because you gotta go up the cliff and settle into a hotel for that Insta-famous Santorini view.

4. Stay in a traditional cave house and appreciate the architecture.

Fun fact: All those cave-like homes you see on Insta (hyposkapha, if you want to be legit about it) are because the islanders kept getting their shit rocked by pirates in the 16th century. As a result, they had to build upward on the most precipitous cliffs they could find.

Carina Hsieh

Book Now Kirini Santorini

This is why Santorini looks and feels so different from other warm would-be-beach towns. There’s no way of just walking from your hotel to the shore—all the resorts are on top of literal cliffs. I stayed in the Kirini Santorini (Carina at Kirini! LOL invite me back pls) and it was *chef’s kiss* in terms of views.

This drone video I bribed Konstantinos Sigalas, Katikies’ social media executive, to take will help you see what I mean.

5. Go on a caldera cruise.

I’m sorry to report that my stupid ass saw a bunch of photos of the ocean in Santorini and was like, “Oh, it’s definitely like a beach town.” Folks, it ain’t!

Few beaches are accessible by foot in Santorini, so the best way to take advantage of that crystal blue Aegean is by boat. We chartered a Riva yacht (v bougie) to take us around the island and stopped where the water looked the dreamiest to pop in for a swim.

On the boat, Sigalas shared this hot blogger tip for getting the best Insta eye-candy shot: Shoot video on your phone, scroll through the video to find the perfect still, and use a screenshot of THAT to get the perfect photo. Very important: you’ll need to go into “Settings —> Camera —>” and adjust “Record Video” to “4K at 60 FPS” for the most high-res stills.

Book Now Caldera Cruise, starting at $1,600/for two passengers

6. Go swimming in the hot springs.

During your caldera cruise you should also ask the captain to make a detour to the hot springs. You’ll know you’re there because the water goes from deep blue to turquoisey-green with orange sulfur on the rocks of the inlet.

Do: Bring a pool noodle. Sorry to everyone who got tired swimming into the inlet, but our captain immediately sized up our wine-drunk asses and was like, “You probs want these.” And we did!Don’t: Wear white in the hot springs. The sulfur will fuck this up. Don’t: Wear any jewelry in the hot springs. Again, sulfur.

A fact I tried very hard to contain during my trip is that I’m the world’s pickiest eater. My definition of seafood means fish sticks from those microwave meals with the penguin, and avoiding vegetables is a firm 1/16th of my personality. But Greece, where the produce and fish are so fresh, suddenly made me the biggest tomato stan on earth, and I would step into the ring for second helpings of whatever sea creature is placed in front of me.

It also helps when everything is deliciously cooked. The restaurants are so exclusive that you usually have to be a member of the Katikies Club to dine there—although this year they opened Mikrasia (with locations in Santorini and Mykonos) and DePaul Restaurant to the public. Santorini Mikrasia has only six tables and it’s generally recommended you book a spot a few weeks in advance. The Mykonos version has more tables but is also v fancy — resident chef Angelos Bakopoulos was on Greek Master Chef. Both restos also won the FNL awards in 2018 (the Greek equivalent to the Michelin Guide).

While a lot of Santorini is Greek Orthodox, Fira town (the capital) has a Catholic church and a monastery where the Vatican would store Greek wines to be shipped to the Pope. Recently, the monastery was bought and turned into Katikies Garden. It’s the most family-friendly of the Katikies clique because there aren’t as many steep stairs. (Seriously! That’s why Santorini doesn’t have a ton of kids running around! What if they fall!)

While everything else in Santorini feels exactly like you’d picture it from postcards and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (sun-drenched, everything bright white), the streets of Fira have a Venetian feel. Even the building’s colors reflect this: There’s a lot of beige and pink as well as rounded archways and courtyards that feel hella Italianate.

It’s all very subtle, but the best way I can describe it is like you suddenly look up and gaslight yourself into wondering if you’re still in Greece. You are!

I’m a pretty tough spa critic (I like my massages how I like my breakups: rough, hard, and with me begging for five more minutes). Yet no treatment has ever compared to the one I got from Nicole at A.Spa. No joke, I physically felt her clear my sinuses through my back at one point. Magic.

Stop by Venetsanos Winery for a tour of the first industrial winery on Santorini. If you’re the opposite of claustrophobic, you can squeeze your bod through one of the old underground wine storage tanks and finish off your day with a breathtaking view of the caldera as you sample a bunch of delicious wines.

Contemplate the meaning of life as you stare off into the Aegean and wonder when your husband will return from Greco-Persian war.

Then, consider taking a second mortgage on the house you do not own in order to stay in Greece forever. Or at least come back next year.

If you can’t make it to Greece just yet, here’s what to buy instead:

Three Cents Pink Grapefruit Soda

Three Cents thewhiskyexchange.com

£1.25

This is the status soda of Greece. Every bar/restaurant worth visiting is stocked up on this pink stuff, and it’s in all the delicious cocktails. I may not know food, but I know my carbonated bevs, and this is GOOD. 

Oia in Santorini by Kadio Kolymva

Armos amazon.com

Super thin and stocked with tons of fascinating tidbits about Oia and Santorini. If you don’t wanna bug the hotel staff with hundreds of iterations of, “Wait, explain how they carved out all these rooms out of rock without power tools again?” like I did, this book will sate you in the best way. 

Donkey Milk Face Serum

Body Farm Greece hercules-shop.com

€32.00

Thank me later when Donkey Milk becomes a Thing in the U.S. One of the women I traveled with picked up this serum on a whim, and for the rest of the trip everyone was fascinated by how great it was. Also, Cleopatra is said to have bathed in donkey milk, so there you go. 

Korres Pure Greek Olive Body Set

You may have heard of Korres here, but I’ve got news for you. There are secret Greece-exclusive products that are WAY better. One of the women on our trip was on a mission to restock her daughter’s collection of the Olive body lotion she’d picked up the previous year, and after trying it, MAN DO I UNDERSTAND THE URGENCY. 

Carina Hsieh Sex & Relationships Editor Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. 

The post Here’s All the Best Stuff to Do in Mykonos and Santorini appeared first on Tripstations.

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[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching SU for the first time: Season 1 ep7, ep 9~26

(I found it a bit of a bother to write a separate post for every single 11-minute episode, so here’s the first half of Season 1 in general, ep 7 to ep 26. Episode titles will be written in bold italic.)

Bubble Buddies

-Hamster ball?  HAMSTER BALL

-That Onion kid is kinda creepy.

Tiger Millionaire

-Overall a weird episode. That and cute Pearl

Steven’s Lion

-Hey I’ve seen that lion before, isn’t he like a constant character or something?

Arcade Mania

-”Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.” ... yep.

-SHE PUNCHED THE FLIPPING MACHINE

-uhhhhhhhhhhhh....  “shake the meat” yeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh... uhhhhhhhhhh..... uhhhh

-”I’m not crashing into anything!”  Pearl get a driver’s license already if you haven’t got one

-FREAKING AMETHYST CRACKS ME UP EVERY TIME

-”Silver dollar? Useless!”  ...wow.

-Pearl could be a flipping Jedi

-Holy shit Gernet’s addicted XD

-I mean Garnet

-Why do I keep typing Gernet

-Okay, yes and no, she’s hypnotized.

-What are you doing Sapphire

-Or is it Ruby?

Giant Woman

-So has Opal happened before or what?

-That was a rather good song with really stupid lyrics. Steven, stop being so dramatic.

-R.I.P. goat.

-FUCKING AMETHYST PFBHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-R.I.P. Steven.

-Holy shit??

-WHAT THE F

-OH

-I THOUGHT THOSE WERE THE HANDS OF THE DECEASED

-Spear + whip = bow. Sounds legit.

-Why is Garnet’s hair on smoking

-bug is cute

-stevonnie SPOILERS

So Many Birthdays

-Man, Pearl’s hairstyle was weird back then.

-Garnet would be very good at poker

-What

-THE FUCKING FACES

-FUCKING KAZOOS

-”I think this is why aging makes humans die”

-Please don’t tell me this is how Americans celebrate birthdays

-Onion’s not very innocent (I KNEW IT)

-What even happened

-Did he fucking magically age

-People don’t age that much in 2 hours Pearl

-but what if, one day, Steven really grows old, in like 80 years, and then they really have to tell him goodbye

-So if he feels dead inside would he look like a corpse?

-what the fuck.legs

Lars and the Cool Kids

-Pearl’s police tape killed me.

Onion Trade

-”I lost something -something precious!”  “Your innocence?”

-(whispers evilly) “Thank you”

-I knew Onion was evil. That kid id so creepy.

-STEVEN HOW THE HELL CAN YOU APPROACH A DEMON JUNIOR INCARNATE WITH SUCH A STRAIGHT FACE

-holy shit what is that kid gonna do now

-yep. never trust a kid with no ears and a blank HORRIFYING stare.

-(Idk maybe Steven had to have the Ranger Guy in his possession before he could replicate it)

-holy shit he’s so fucking evil. Steven. Watch out for him. He has a blank terrifying stare. yep. HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE memories.

Steven the Sword Fighter

-Is that Samurai flipping Japanese Darth Maul, with the doubleblade thing.

-Pearl’s hologram animation is somewhat disturbing

-Pearl: *edge mode activate*

-”It’s about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to THRUST”

-HOLY SHIT

-DID SHE GET F-CKING STABBED

-Welp I guess that’s Steven’s innocence lost... or at least some of it anyway

-WE’RE SUPER LUCKY SHE’S NOT HUMAN OR THE SHOW WOULD HAVE GONE UP TO PG15 IN A BLINK

-DID SHE DIEDEDEDED

-So how is the hologram still effective  And how does Amethyst ride on a cloud

-THEY PUT A F-CKING BLANKET OVER THE F-CKING HOLOGRAM  Also, Pearl’s probably gonna go blind if you keep her under the lamp like that.

-the fuck did Amethyst eat  inflation fetish bait

-HOW TF DID SHE SLICE A TREE WITH A BALLOON

-THAT’S SOME WEEPING ANGELS SHIT RIGHT THERE MAN

-STEVEN THAT’S A F-CKING PROGRAM YOU CAN’T ARGUE WITH A ROBOT

-Her clothes changed.

Lion 2: The Movie

-”All Ages” yeah right - DID HE JUST SHIT A MISSILE

-Amethyst just being dramatic

-Okay so there have been a lot of ‘magic gem places’ and the crystal gems have been collecting a lot of those other gems things throughout the episodes. Maybe it leads up to something?

-It was what Connie said, wasn’t it.

-ARMOR DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH PEEING WHAT EVEN

-Yep, he’s gonna see explosions all right.

Beach party

-Is that a giant puffer fish

-Ouch.

-Don’t do it STeven

-I thought their outfits were kinda... part of their bodies or something. Yep they could transform their clothing as part of themselves

-Is that black dude’s name Kofi, because I know a friend of my aunt’s from Ghana whose name is also Kofi (Or was it two f’s?)

-Holy shit that escalated fast

-Pearl’s had it in for Amethyst

-Dafuq did they blow it up

Rose’s Room

-Mythril’s from LOTR... Wait no, that one’s spelled with an I.

-That’s golf Pokemon.

-Holy crap that’s creepy

-DONUT HAT

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH FRYBO *nightmarish flashbacks*

-IT’S A TIME LOOP

-Rose Quartz was messed up, man.

-OMFG I PAUSED AT THE PERFECT MOMENT

Coach Steven

-WTF AMETHYST

-FUCKING AMETHYST

-PEARL CENSORSHIP ACTIVATED

-They woud totally rock a rave party

-HOLY SHIT THAT’S GIGANTIC

-”No way! This is awesome!”  Yeah, if you like getting flattened by falling debris.

-Welp I can do like two or three pushups

-SHE’S SINGING

-”Not because I’m--” what? Jealous? C’mon, just let him be.

-HOW DO YOU EVEN JUMP ROPE LIKE THAT

-uh oh. oh shit.

-Amethyst has anger issues man.

-And maybe Garnet too.

-wait wait wait wait I think Garnet’s like 8 feet tall and Amethyst like 4? 5? SO HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY FORMING A 100 FEET MONSTROSITY TOGETHER THAT DOESN’T ADD UP

Joking Victim

-How the hell are Lars’s clothes not wet

-WHOA DID SOMEONE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

-I bet that music video is like an hour long. I’m dying

-But don’t you have to be the manager/boss to fire someone? Is the blond girl in charge of things?

-Steven’s running animation was way too fast.

-THAT’S NOT HOW ANYTHING WORKS

-LOGIC

-And Amethyst eats the lot without blinking an eye.

-DID HE JUST SAY “YOU DICK BAG”

Steven and the Stevens

-This is the episode in which he numbers his clones like Dipper Pines did, right?

-Reminds me of the hourglass room in the Ministry of Magic.

-Speaking of Harry Potter, why does Pearl’s wet hair make her look like pink Snape

-But isn’t that basically like the artifact in the pilot episode

-Attack of the Clones

-Good job Steven, you’ve traumatized yourself.

-I play the violin and I assure you, if the tune stayed true to the animation, all we’d be hearing is one stretched-out violin chord/tone over and over again. And Amethyst’s drum lines would sound a lot simpler, according to the animation.

-”...by watching myself die”

Monster Buddies

-So that’s what happens to the bubbled objects.

-Is that a Pokeball?

-Nah.

-awwww

Hail Satan

-I think Garnet traumatized the centipeedle? Either that or it sensed danger in that water.

-R.I.P. Centipeedle.

An Indirect Kiss

-Ow.

-Manipulative Connie is manipulative.

-I’m not gonna get any worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (reversed speech)

-WHY IS AMETHYST SPEAKING IN REVERSE

-I SHOULDN’T BE LAUGHING

-Pearl, you have issues.

-Is Rose Quartz some sort of phoenix.

-WHAT THE CRAP

*cries* “Keep going.” And that’s what it feels like to be a Whovian.

-SHE’S LITERALLY CRYING A MOUNTAIN

-I SHOULDN’T BE LAUGHING X2

-HEALING SPIT

-I SHOULDN’T BE LAUGHING X3

Mirror Gem

-I heard stuff gets a bit more serious after ep 26... *braces self*

- STEVEN YOU TRIGGERED PEARL

-Eh, i don't know, it's cracked, it looks broken to me.

-Pearl has OCD?

-Was Lars gonna say 'you little shit' KIDS' SHOW

-"Go get run over somewhere else" PFFFFT

-A SENTIENT MIRROR?!

-Pearl's OCD has been activated.

-O SHIT (that kinda reminda me of when Pearl smacked off Sugilite's goggles)

-#TRIGGERED

-Wait wait wait I think I read in a Wiki that this episode has Lapis Lazuli in it... what if she's locked in there and is sending messages like Tom Riddle’s diary did in HP or something

-"LET ME OUT"

-WHAT'S WITH THE WATER

-I TOLD YOU. I FUCKING TOLD YOU

-I admit that I don't know my geology but what does lapis lazuli have to do with water except being blue

-why is her eyes glazed over

-IS SHE MOSES

-WHAT THE FLIP

-WELL WHAT AN EXCELLENT WAY TO END AN EPISODE

Ocean gem

- Grounding's basically not being able to leave the house, right?

-What

-DID LAPIS TAKE AWAY THE WATER

-Wait if her gem is still damaged, does she have... Problems?

-Oh.

-Jesus, Garnet nust really hate that song.

-SO THAT'S WHERE THE ROLLING GARNET GIF COMES FROM

-See, I told you Pearl could drive really well.

-I TOLD YOU ALL THOSE GEMS WERE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING

-"She said stuff."

-OH SHIT'S GOING DOWN

-Pearl's like oh shit

-But you can't breathe in space...

-Well, at least he didn't directly lick it.

-And I was right about that cracked gem leading to problems, see, the eyes aren't glossed over now. And apparently she has water wings.

-And she just flies off into space, just like that?

-Aren't oceans supposed to be deeper?

-Why do I have a feeling that Lapis is going to be a connection between Steven's lot and Homeworld?