#hashtag the duality of man

[wulfhalls]

rip legend 🙏

[ask-uts-earthspark-au]

"Tarn Anon"

*Transmission straight into Hashtag*

So you are the Terrans that Shockwave has informed us about he was correct, you are inferior. Do not think your fleshlings bond with Megatron will save you and your doomed brood, we will find you and we will terminate you. And just to give you a taste of what you will face.

*Forcibly uploads all the photos of the DJDs past victims*

Hashtag: Oh! A new as-

*Alert going off*

Whoosh!

Hashtag: hu-? Wha- where’d it go? I didn’t accidentally delete it did I??

Tarantulas: Tarn.

Tarantulas: I do not appreciate you threatening my assistant and their siblings. Let alone with want to kill them, or your attempts to traumatize them.

Tarantulas: keep your grimy claws off my little sparks.

Megatron: Tarn. We speak once more.

Megatron: I appreciate your dedication to your assignment from past leaders of the faction, but please remain within your field.

Megatron: As I have detailed to you and your lot, I am very different from my predecessors, and sparklings - such as the Terrans - are very strictly off limits to you all. We went over this with Silver, and Hot Rod.

Megatron: And even so, recall, they are to follow us up one day, when we eventually die off, Tarn. Because we will. No one is immortal.

Megatron: And they are young. Innocent, naive- impressionable. If you want to sway them over -

Megatron: - which is very possible, they have plenty of Decepticon influence, and Nightshade and Thrash both show interest in the Decepticons, who knows the decisions their siblings may make in their stead -

Megatron: Don’t try to scare them away. Yes?

Megatron: And do not take this as either one or the other - this is both your first warning, and my advice in an attempt to help you, if you want to bring the little ones in.

Megatron: The only order I have for you further regarding this matter, is either if you cannot tone yourself down a touch to mind your own, or if you are so keen on getting closer to them you sweeten up a little. I know you can, Tarn.

Megatron: Megatron, out.

Tarantulas: and for the record, nearly all of these messages from you to them, will be directed back to me. So it will be either coordinate with myself and Megatron, or leave. my. littlesparks. ALONE.

Hashtag: that sucks. It must have been deleted by accident somehow…

Tarantulas: do not fret, child. I’m sure a simple apology will be enough for whoever it was.

Hashtag: Whoever you were, I’m sorry! I think tumblr ate it! >A<'

Hashtag: maybe try again later? <:)

(Be sure to read the tags! ;) - UT )

[uranium]

photos from the same night hashtag the duality of man

[prettyboykatsuki]

ur energy is like one of those large breed dogs that look super intimidating but are actually very sweet and lovable and playful. best of both worlds i suppose. if u were my kpop bias this is where i’d hashtag duality (/hj)

ANANDKFKSJD I GUESS THATS TRUE. several times today i noticed ppl being relieved when i was friendly with them but im so niceys man. im just quiet and stupid really and i like when other people talk ,, i prefer listening but ill yap if need be idk ,,, i felt like i was nervous for no reason

[myosotlsart]

Yknow I was going to make rival Green edgy, though after 10 minutes of scrolling through the trainer blue hashtag... I'm confused.

Is he silly? Jealous? Lovesick? Cold and clculating? The duality of man. We can't even settle on a goddamn hair color.

Art credit: (MasterEx and Frlg), Miyashita-san from Twitter @s90jiIQO2xf0Fk5, unknown artist, and Eliiyum on DeviantArt

[felixethereal]

【STAY JAPAN限定】

STAY JAPAN OFFICIAL WEB MAGAZINE 『STEP OUT!』 vol.08が公開されました！📚

詳細はこちらから👇

https://skz-stayjapan.com/s/n105/page/magazine

Translations cut by superlinokart

Voted by staff: No. 1...

Q1) Flirtatious (charming) guy?

🥇 Changbin

🥈 Chan & felix

🥉 Lee know, hyunjin, han & seungmin

Q2) Clean freak?

🥇 Seungmin

🥈 Chan

🥉 I.N

Q3) Foodie?

🥇 Lee know

🥈 Chan

🥉 I.N

Q4) Responsible person?

🥇 Chan, seungmin & I.N

🥈 Changbin

Q5) Little weirdo?

🥇 Lee know

🥈 Seungmin

🥉 Hyunjin

On SKZ's japanese skills

"I'm impressed by the progress in their pronunciation and intonation every time they come to Japan. However, writing in Japanese is still hard, and it takes time and effort to write kanji with many strokes. Before, it would take many attempts to write the katakana character ン ("n"), a common appearance in their [Japanese] names, but now everyone writes it without any problem."

by Staff H

To staff: any small complaints?

"The voices are too loud and the energy is too high (laughs). If all 8 are together it feels like I'm visiting a zoo!" by Staff A

"Lee Know, when we're taking a group photo, please pose naturally for at least 1 shot" by Staff B

"Please don't go around asking the staff for their Chinese zodiac signs and checking your age difference with us" by Staff C

"When everyone's together joking around it's like a zoo. It's so funny it's hard to hold back my laughter (laughs)" by Staff D

"Don't talk to one person all at the same time" by Staff l

From staff: even though it might not look it it, Stray Kids in reality are...

"Shy boys" by Staff A

"Shy around strangers" by Staff E

"The youngest is the most adult-like" by Staff B

"Like high schoolers" by Staff K

"Sometimes moves at 1.5x speed" by Staff C

"All of them are jutdaeja [man that sticks to his beliefs, with jutdae]" by Staff I

"Outstanding sense of humor" by Staff J

"Shy" by Staff L

From staff: hashtags that define SKZ as a group

#/family #/8people8colors #/closekids

#/groupwithstrongbondslikeafamily

#/supertalentedkids #/familythatloveseachother

#/duality #/ramen #/conveniencestore #/gym #/meatlunchbox

#/hitsumabushi #/kobebeef #/creamstew

#/lovesramen #/grouptolookforwardto

From staff: heart-warming episodes

"Whether it's backstage, during breaks or on the move, they are truly always glued to each other and it's heartwarming to see how close they are. I remember an occasion in which Han asked the staff if there wasn't anything he could do to help and all of us were moved" by Staff E

"One time Seungmin ended up eating the umaibo [snack] that Changbin had saved for later" by Staff B

"After the end of a performance, Bang Chan happily stuffed his cheeks with Ichiran [ramen]" by Staff G

"The members looked cute while eating the food that was prepared for them with a satisfied look" by Staff F

"I once saw Seungmin doing Laundry at the concert venue. After a performance, I saw Bang Chan smiling radiantly and heading to eat ramen. He must have been really looking forward to it" by Staff C

"When I saw the members helping us carry luggage I thought 'they are wonderful people'" by Staff I

"The 8 members are undeniably close. In many occasions I have felt that they understand each other and that they've been together this whole time supporting each other" by Staff A

"Their eyes sparkle and they are always interested in new things (umaibo flavors, various things, new places)" by Staff K

"They are always friendly towards each other and glued together, I end up smiling unintentionally at the sight" by Staff D

"While shooting the special video for 'There', Lee Know and Seungmin were paired, but while Lee Know was shooting, Seungmin was on the side, peacefully enjoying his coffee, wandering around by himself and getting scolded by the staff... He spent his time gracefully " by Staff L

[ladyphoenixfyre]

I consider myself to be OT7.

I’ve been quietly supporting each member as they release their solo endeavors, whether that be an album, a single, a collab, or (what some may consider) an EP.

I watched the MVs, listened to the entire JITB album, and nearly screamed myself hoarse watching Hobipallooza from my room.

I did the same for The Astronaut, even if I could only watch the CP concert the next day from a stream because I was so exhausted from work I fell asleep waiting for it. I loved watching Jin on Youngji’s No Prepare show, cackling and shrieking with laughter through it.

Same thing for Indigo, with Joon’s little concerts. Watched his interview with Pharrell, and other shows he made appearances in (I need to find an upload with English subs for the Dictionary of Useless Knowledge) and listened to the podcast from Art Basel. His appearance on the Pisick Show was fun and funny.

Loved Tae’s version of It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, it’s on a playlist with all the other holiday songs that was playing during the season. I have to find subbed free versions of Jinny’s Kitchen because the little clips and gifs I saw Twitter just intrigued me more.

Same again for Left and Right, Bad Decisions (seriously, ARMY? Meeting up with Benny after a wild scavenger hunt-type thing? Lol), Sexxy Nukim, Crush, Vibe (thank you for the introduction to Taeyang!), On the Street, Smoke Sprite.

And again for FACE, staying up to watch Mimi’s music show appearances, and other show appearances (Radio SBS, PIXID, that fun one that I can’t remember the name of where he kept tossing that one guy into the pool after he figured out what action triggered the seat catapult thing).

And I will do so again for D-3.

And whatever else is released by all 7 members as soloists.

All that being said, my ultimate bias is Jimin, with the other 6 members taking turns being bias wreckers.

I identify more with his dance background than I do Hobi’s.

Hobi is a phenomenal dancer, his fluidity is something else and has made me wonder if the man has bones. Yes, I know he does, but you get where I’m going.

But it’s Jimin’s classical training that got my interest because of my own training.

I’m not a dancer, by the way. I took ballet and those few years I danced were my favorite because of all I experienced in that time frame.

Back to Jimin.

His dance background is what started me really looking into him. His duality (cutie pie one moment, Kitty Gang the next) and professionalism got me next. Then his personality just sealed the deal. His empathy to/for everyone around him, his sincere appreciation of and for ARMY, his politeness and humility around those not just his senior but to his juniors, too.

A lot of the time I want to squish him, wrap him up in a nice soft blanket, and put him in my pocket, away from the haters, antis, toxic solos, and everything bad in the world.

But he is grown ass adult, regardless of the fact that many want to treat him like a child. Yes, I’ll include myself in that group.

He makes adult decisions every day, personally, privately, and also professionally. Especially professionally.

We, as fans and people who don’t personally know him, have no say in ANY of his decisions. Voice your opinion all you want, it will not have any bearing or weight on his decision-making process. The only time someone else would have that impact is if he directly asks someone for their opinion and he decides it has weight.

That applies to ALL the members.

Know your place as a fan. We support the members individually and as a group by streaming the music and MVs they release, purchase albums and singles if our wallets allow, vote when we are able, and trend appropriate, official hashtags.

We have no say on their personal and professional lives. We have no right to their personal time and should leave them alone if they are out and about trying to be incognito.

We are so blessed and lucky that they share as much as they do.

I saw that someone had recently created a Twitter account for posting information about their flights. THAT is crossing a line. THAT is putting the members’ safety at jeopardy. THAT is not how ARMY should be.

[dreadark]

dusk n saga

................wait was this for an ask thing i missed... oh god it's been a month

i get like 1 ask a year how even. idk

well now that youve certainly forgotten you sent this im going to answer it. so saga first

i dont think any of this actually captures how i feel about her

i also dont know how to talk about her. she's just... such a strange character right. funny dog but who is also smarter than everyone. gets put in the existential crisis inducing scroll or whatever and just leaves deciding she shouldnt gamble. i still dont really understand why i like her so much

really curious what she's doing in death of chunfen...

this is so empty why did i even rb this meme.... who knows....

i believe this is what the youths call a girlflop (why tf am i saying it like this) (also i think this word is fucking annoying but lets not get into that)

yeah she's an immortal being that's lived for thousands of years and has seen so many people she loved pass away that she eventually shut herself in her own world literally but she's also a loser. hashtag duality

my fav of the sui sibs for sure... man who is real was such a good event. i want that again we've had other good events for sure but i want another weird one like that. actually i should just reread it it's been a while

also her design is nice ak should use green-ish hair more

[writer59january13]

Facilities that claim they recycle spew nothing but rubbish

as does yours truly, whose ecological ethos goes out the window into the cold freezing iceland prompting the following balderdash. Upon the advent of an unexpected inspection slated for tomorrow January 24th, 2025 myself and the missus, (the latter bedridden due to feeling physically unwell) scrambled like the dickens (Charles to you) to play merry maid to buckle down and break a sweat sweeping and vacuuming, plus applying the BISSELL PROHEAT PETTURBO RUG CLEANER. Many materials we would ordinarily and regularly bring to a facility like GIANT,

(a market we ordinarily, rarely, and unusually purchase food items),

nevertheless our goto place for purportedly recycling went into the dumpster already filled to the brim just like the nineteen eighties television commercial with the same name, whereby an attractive woman proffers a steamy cup to an equally pleasing looking man. Analogous to being hashtagged as sacrilegious indiscriminately tossing to and fro, hither and yon so called "garbage," yet in the ideal world disposable items videre licet reusable processed goods repurposed in a future life perhaps as useful commodity such as a handy dandy blues clues moon unit linkedin with environmental principles versus admission of guilt ridden conscious in the eyes of Gaia more appropriate for a heretical miscreant, reprobate or worse. What began as blithe indifference to mother nature (justified with the excuse that me wife ill with pneumonia, and the weather way to cold to be pitching recyclables into their proper receptacles) can easily, invariably, and logically manifest into incorrigible criminal behavior sending yours truly sliding down into behavioral sink found among the madding crowd within densely populated urban areas

courtesy from the late Tom Wolfe,

who penned an Essay by the same name. He discusses the problems of overcrowding in cities and the resulting stress and adrenaline rush it causes. The combination of stress and overcrowding

causes citizens to turn into malevolent behavior,

where humans turn into ‘bilious, nephritic, queer, autistic, sadistic, barren, batty, sloppy, hot in the pants, changed on the flankers, leering, puling (a real word meaning

whimpering, crying, sobbing, bleating and numb)

Wolfe suggests that such behavior all-consuming in its malevolence and makes the people fight with each other for a small amount of private space around themselves.

Thus, the above urban jungle environment, would gladly and matter of factly welcome vis a vis honorable "Konnichiwa" witnessing me gracefully stepping upon Scottish red carpet,

and not even notice nonestablishmentarians subversive characteristics

as an antithetical agent provocateur,

whose hunger for knowledge vis avis car earring (and car rue ming) cerebrum formulated, integrated, promulgated personal perception

to the point of no return, (meaning culling, fomenting, inciting, et cetera velvet revolution), as fait accompli and inadvertently

bringing to fruition basic, dogmatic, enigmatic,

fatalistic heuristic life lessons. The fabulist, dualistic capacity averred videre licet Zoroastrianism figuratively pitched this contemplative, furtive, intuitive literate organic, realistic, universalistic, wanderer yearning instinctive modalities metamorphosing this quizzically opportunistic, philosophically naturalistic, officially matt tea realistic, and sometime prophesying prognosticating probing outlier. As a nonestablishmentarian libertarian, joy

riding heretic, feasting dishabille bum,

I contemplated the capacity quasi duality

of human being to co-exist inside the labyrinth of mental learning. Quite often reconciliation between the angel of come passion stood opposite intent (with minimal effort to foment) malicious intent toward evil. This constant tug of war (within depths of psyche) perched psychological state upon precarious pivot. Balance between righteousness verses barb barrack ken of villainy engendered warp and woof of noble might undermined via ignoble, infamous injudicious threnody thru the countless millennia, when many an outstanding wizard served as a prime mover and shaker to boost betterment of so called civilized state with the bane of anarchy, disintegration, gallimaufry always in the vanguard. Manifold milieus, which witnessed civilizations rise and fall became bereft of equilibrium between forces of growth and decay. The feature of intransigence (as a free roaming derelict agent) and dominant characteristic of contemporary society.

[madamelaydebug]

Recap...2024

•Rachet behavior

•Chatty Patty's

•Dystopian Directives on Netflix

•Trap music

•Gossip at it's fullest

•The alluring spells of holidays is diminishing.

•Take the wheel and guide yourself

•Mystery Meat

•Phallus play at full throttle in Hollyweird

•Ancestors aren't being fed

•Bird box

•Neglecting Core issues

•Benjamin Button's in Consiouness

•Knuckle draggers

•Woke, and still taking penitentiary chances

•Mad relatives, that's not even family(no offense to our relatives)

•Anglo Saxton blame

•Worrying about everything but self

We trust us, but us gotta get our shit together.

The playbook is in place how to handel us, but we can't handel us.

•Little %ick energy (Dark manipulated energy) Trump

•Morality rate is diminishing(fragile state of the Anglo Saxon's)

•Intellectual Warfare

•Crime at an all time high

•Drug epidemic

•Cardi B craze

•Sacrafices

•Alexia

•God Box (David Banner)

•FEMA Camps

•Cymantics

•Sacred Geometry

•Get Out Syndrome

•Sephora marketed a Witch kit

•Yoni Eggs

•Sage

•Esoteric

•Mystic of old world classified as New Age

•Dark Star Rising Book

•Law of 44

•Unidentifiable Realm(Social Media- black mirror, tresel board or modern day ouji board)

•Syncro Mystisim

•Google go to encyclopedia

•Meme magic- what happens in cyber world transfers into the real world

•Kanye West

•Labron James

•Synchronicity

•Shadow work

•Internet had become an externalized imagination

•Chaos Magic (Fake News)

Witches, Warlocks, Wiccans

Peppa the frog (KEK entity) {Egregore}

•Attention Economy digital era, no longer analog

•Quantum Realm Mastermind Principles, trigger words and sounds. Trans state

•YouTube Censorship

•Transmutation

•Me Too movement

•Rosanne Bar

•Dysfuntional Narratives

•R. Kelly

•Bill Cosby

•Brother Panic

•19 Keys

•Thought forms, Astro Leventuas, etheric shells of corpses(#Egregore)

•Bobby Hemmit

•Occult Movements

•Rituals

•Strong Man turned Mad Man

•LBJ Community

•Make America Great Again (programming trigger)

•Impeachment request from the majority

•Troll Armies

•Cloning (Synthetic Robitoids)

•Black Mirror

•Watch Man Movie (re-watch)

•NYC Blue & Green glowing lights

•Avitars (Virtual Reality)

•Narcissistic Disorders

•Conforming of the Populist (Purging in real time)

•Meek Mills (poster boy) for incarnation/probation reform

•Impossible Burgers (alternative meat)

•Mass Shootings

•Hashtags

•Cell Towers Vibrational frequency (4g-5g)

•Focusing in the seen realm, while the unseen realm is orchestrating (spirit cookers)

•Chitlin Circuit Coonery

•Our magic {#Melanin} is being utilized to cook us again so they can stay in power, while dumbing us down.

•God Frequency

•Reality is the Glitch in the Matrix (Psychological Interpretation, reality is purely perception based) the mind is an Externalized Expression of what reality is.

Definition of Man is Mind, the Hermetic Principal that speaks of Mind, it says: "Mind Is All" man is Mind, but your not necessarily mind, so Who are you? Were purely projections.

•The age of the internet is mental

#Implants

•Merging information

•Strange Fruit (repeats itself)

•Internalized Purging

•Placebo Effect

•Mandela Effect

•Cutting Cords

•3 levels of Subconscious

•Balance: El's or Draws (#duality) Neutral

•Colorful wording without Action

•Block Bullies (for Jordan's)

•Energy, Frequency and Vibration

•Reality TV (#distractions)

Martoring Villians (#exonerate)

•Flat Earth

•Earth Quakes (world -wide)

•Flowers in one hand and blood on the other hand

•George Bush Sr.

•The thread of Society is unraveling

•Tangle of Pathology

[gayjaytodd]

me: this year I'm gonna do my own cooking and have lots of veggies and be healthy!

also me the minute I get back to uni: I'm gonna eat nothing but fast food for the next week!

[bylertruther]

so tickled by the idea of sweet cherubic will looking so adorable and focused while drawing but when you look over his shoulder to see what masterpiece he's working on now it's the most gory bloody detailed battle scene ever. hashtag duality of man!

[kimjunnoodle]

@milfbestie

Geralt and Istredd THE WITCHER 2x05

[warriorprincesstramp]

TEE YOU WATCHED THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING???? YOU MET ALEX MY BEST FRIEND ALEX???? what did you think tell me your every thought and opinion….

I DID AND I THOUGHT HE WAS SOOOOO NEAT. genuinely 10/10 a new favourite it was just FUN and WHIMSICAL and it was about being GOOD and having HOPE that's the shit I'm sensitive about!!! This + once upon a time are my perfect remedies for bbc merlin... speaking of their interpretation of merlin was so slay... every bbc merlin fan who's like haha headcanon merlin gets really weird and whacky after centuries of immortality bro you WISH. he would NEVER have this merlin's strange and off-putting whimsy. the silly hand wavey magic. the led zeppelin shirt. sneezing to become a bird. working at a fried chicken place for thirty seconds for the bit. switching between being a teenager and an old old man constantly. his yellow shoes! hashtag girl! but he's also kind and believes in the possibility of a bright future... guy who shows you the truth at the centre of universe and its love. guy who is the true duality of silly-earnest. etc.

and obviously. alex. he was hated (and then rightfully revered) for his friendly boy swagger his nice young man realness... absolute Protagonist. arthur pendragon bbc merlin is shaking in his fucking stupid ass boots or whatever he wears. when lance is trying to keep the sword and says who made you better than everyone else and it's like he's NOT fundamentally better than everyone else he's just a regular kid who won't let the horrors of the world prevent from being kind and true. and of course that's why he can wield excalibur. like fuck harry potter fuck all the bullshit where the protagonist is special because of some mysterious heritage all that matters is who we are... real shit. and like you said truly just a nice movie for kids.... I watched it with my family and we all really liked it <3

it was just genuine and real and fun!!!!! slay movie!!! this is just a word vomit tbh and I will not be proofreading sorry but yeah you were so fucking real this whole time and no one listened everyone STOP talking about bbc merlin everyone START talking about the kid who would be king...

[muirneach]

someone can be hashtag girl and also go in my men tag. the duality of man

[sugar-petals]

Hi :") I would like to ask which footballers are at the top of your mind when it comes to being "masters of duality" (aka being cute at one moment and suddenly being hot at another)? cause there are quite a number of players who fall quite strictly into either categories, like we think of some of them as being helplessly cute and adorable, and others as being just hot and making people feel nsfw all the time jsdjsjdkl,,,thanks!

as a personal tradition i keep up with chelsea and bayern so i can name you a couple representatives from there. let's #gossip 🕵 

- manuel neuer:

baddie body baby face, v chill... blink once and manuel’s acting up, rapid fire comebacks on live television, sobs instantly and needs to hug his plushie when he concedes a goal, goes full mike tyson on any living man who challenges the fruit-tastic sex appeal of our german lgbteam, the next minute blondie causes drama scandals thirst and chaos, ironically when you listen to him u wanna fall asleep, can actually levitate, cutesy simpatico type who’s 1000% mad, morbidly obsessed with sticking out his ass, is 7'11, truly multifaceted and thoroughly untrustworthy himbo hoe, out of his mind, you do you manuel, we love your waist just stay at a distance, his duality scares the whole nation 

- jorgiiiiiiinho:

contrary to his congenially clownish vibes —and they truly are remarkable— jorgeyboy has some ice cold penalty skills (i'm starting to believe not even a magnitude 11 earthquake could throw off his edgy run jump kick technique) and he organizes the entire team strategy cuz he can hashtag mastermind! but off the pitch he has the most inexplicable kitten-like hand gestures and sailor moon level hip poses lmao! there he is, with a beard like a french vice count, and then he acts like he's the brazilian version of pusheen (thx for still serving catboy realness in 2022). needless to say i'm fascinated, jorginho is the manic pixie dream boy i always wanted. stay quirky u bottom

- robert lewandowski: very kind, very lactose-free, and extremely um, he loves a silly little dance, lewy invented cringe before it was cool, not that we should flame him for it but anyway loves. managed to get that one "🌸 tiktok's favorite 🌸" award (INSTEAD OF THE F/$§%&G BALLON D'OR), and then oh i almost forgot: he's also a notorious record goal scoring robot with torso muscles in places u never even knew existed, 999 years old and still wants to go to real madrid, total bookworm introvert but rides the jetski, has the only working marriage on the planet, is a leo, it all just doesn't fit together, but yeah we're gonna win the champions league because of his tiktok dance moves just wait. lewy is always embarrassing us trying to act trendy but he makes up for it with records

- reece james: the only non-ridiculous speciman on this list, i think he's like a cute smiley teddy bear who couldn't harm a fly but the next second u notice all over again just how painfully thicc he is head to toe LIKE WHAT, LIKE WHAT!!!, serge gnabry would be so amazingly proud of all the cakey cake that reecey is baking, and ofc he has that intense sexy bedroom gaze during free kicks, the next second you find out he plays online chess with ben chilwell in his free time lmao i love it, why the hell is he a sagittarius how does that work, did somebody tell him he's sending all these mixed messages? the most confusing duality out there, get well soon baby bun by the way he's dearly missed, and talk about buns: this was the cutest insta post i’ve ever seen below

- kai havertz: there we go again talking about the moody asparagus noodle that doesn’t like pineapple on pizza but alright he’s goodlooking so let’s go, whenever he runs around u ask yourself... is... is this sexyman okay? did someone wave a giant wreath of garlic in front of the weak habsburgian vampire prince? then suddenly he's the most clingy dog dad joke machine alive. tallest in the room but still hides behind his girlfriend or climbs up julian brandt when he's shy, scores the champions league winning goal but breaks his little finger in the carabao cup (get well soon babu), strips on insta one second and takes care of his donkey barn the next, boy toy but make it rural i guess, vain adonis with a flat ass, 90% stupid but his hair has its own gravitational intelligence, has several dualites and i hate it, at least he's always standing around being useless and handsome with his eyes squinty (is he shortsighted? even more sexy points)

BONUS: kings of anti-duality - n'golo kanté. no matter what — always wise and always nice :D someone could go full throttle pep guardiola 'pep' talk on him and he'll just mysteriously giggle. cuz why: n’-goal-o values his time, his life, his happiness, and simply winning. loving the consistency. loving the attitude. loving the smile. hurt him and i’ll destroy you 

- toni kroos: full time dedicated hater of everything & everyone, an interview w/o kroosie nagging = not an interview, most relatable unrelatable person ever, emotional honesty 5000, if a dramatic villain origin story was a person, twitter thug mode dragon slayer, outcritiques timo werner and the german press, probably listens to ice cube, would attack call out and defeat god 

- serge gnabry: category is! sergio's same sarcastic grind 365; try to impress him and you will fail miserably, serge sees through all the bs don’t even try, either busy cooking modelling or fistfighting leroy sané's bullies as they deserve, with serge you always know what you're getting, grew up watching vintage shonen anime what did you expect that builds actual real character. he’s the anti-ronaldo, we should congratulate him on it

- thomas müller: sigh. he’s been doing this for so long we all know the drill... it doesn't matter the situation... full throttle late night bavarian comedy programme mode it just never stops, he's so exhausting and over the top but we all depend on it what do we do, least two-faced person on earth, froze his character since he was like 12, how do his managers survive him, he outlives all of them anyway, zero debate on that he’s football’s funniest manchild