#has someone written this? i don't think so... maybe i will...
Andre Nikto head canons
We have little information about Niko but here's what I've gathered..
((Also I'd like to kindly add, hi, hello, my name is Mika and I am a Bosnian. The chances of me adding some accurate slav head canons are always high but never low!!🙏🏻 ALSO IM TERRIBLY OBSESSED WITH NIKTO SO IF ENJOY THIS AND YOU WANT DATING NIKTO HEAD CANONS PLEASE LET ME KNOWWW))
Genuine head canons:
Andre Nikto (Никто) is a (scary) Russian military man, roughly 193/194 centimetres (when you compare him to Simon's height) He suffers with acute dissociative disorder (better said DID) yet is still serving the military cause of how he preforms during battle.., so the military still views him as a ideal soldier for combat despite his disorder..
No hate but from what I've seen in some art works claiming it's his "face reveal" you people have to understand that under his mask, his face is disfigured.. so, no he won't be an attractive super model under that mask of his..
I don't think you people are aware how badass Nikto is as a character, almost SIMILAR as Ghost who's in the military for the same reason as everybody else, to risk their life.
Although judging by Nikto's voice lines, he doesn't care who he's killing..if it were up to him, if his teammates serve him zero purpose he'd care less if they die..(after all, you're just a target..) but being a professional, he can't allow that to happen to his teammates
If you look up closely, Nikto wears a military uniform that is different from everyone else with MP-0 written on it. Now if you don't know, MP stands for Military Police (enforcement agencies connected with, or part of, the military of a state.) and zero next to it meaning "nothing" and this is important which is what Nikto refers himself as..
Yeah so about that..
I have a theory about Nikto's nickname
After being captured and brutally tortured with whatever sick tendency mister Z had in store for him. It was Mister Z that couldn't really get much Information about Andre.
They would start torturing him while repeating to Andre that he's nothing, he's no one, what he is is nothing but what he is is everything. Those words play in the back of his head and they never seen to go away.
(This is extremely relevant cause Mister Z tried to get to know a bit of Andre by looking through some research come to find his citizenship and language are censored making him a nobody. Keep in mind, if he found any information about Andre viewing from personal life etc. it will be used as blackmail..)
After recovering his scars and taken to therapy after 7 years he was diagnosed with DID
NOW moving on to the DID part
(What I said about the fact that people overlook Nikto's disorder, I mean it..
Some don't really write about his disorder which is fine but when someone does it gets messy. )
Alters aren't easy to deal with, it's actually gonna haunt you till the day that you die cause there's no cure for it. And in Nikto's case it's from PTSD and Nikto is very aware of his alters..
Let me tell you how Nikto's disorder affects him. Switching can be consensual, forced or triggered, Nikto values silence as much as the next person cause he's dealing with much inside his head already. The kind of guy that would "watch TV" while dissociating with a 100 yard glare with very slow blinking and a slight headache..
There are times where his personalities would correct him when hes referring to himself (example: I'm up..(his personality correctes him) WE'RE up..)
"He made us do this" (and other voice lines I can't recall..)
Maybe cut bits of an apple with a knife and eat it while watching TV..
He has medication prescribed for him but he didn't wanna depend on medications cause they're just drugs..they're nothing to him but just drugs..
He has dissociative amnesia too, sometimes he would wander around confused maybe even annoyed. The amnesia appears to be caused by traumatic or stressful experiences endured or witnessed..Although the forgotten information may be inaccessible to consciousness, it sometimes continues to influence behavior
Like I said he likes quiet people, someone who doesn't waste their air on small talk..
Example; don't really talk to him about the weather, unless you have something interesting to say but if the conversation is gonna go nowhere , don't talk..he finds that a waste of time
People assume just because he's Russian that he likes vodka, he doesn't like vodka...-He doesn't like any alcoholic beverage cause it makes his problems a lot worse,...maybe If you were lending him some as an offering, he'll take it but he has SOME self control, he's okay with coffee, though..
It's relevant cause he stays awake at late hours since he finds it difficult to sleep, he'll stay up late with no music, nothing, just a silent room. It doesn't matter if he tries the military tactic where you just close your eyes and turn off your thoughts, it's very different when you have voices screaming inside your head...
Despite everything he's still intelligent, so being smart + strength + sharp reflexes and you got yourself a criminal
Death doesn't phase him, but to him death is like sleeping, he's not scared of death considering that he's been through hell those past few months.
He likes the simple things, don't complicate anything..because he's quick with catching an attitude..be blunt and forward and stumble over your words..
Nikto shows confidence in the battlefield,just like König, except he has a high rush of adrenaline and will laugh at the enemies death.
Fun fact: in this one comic Price calls Nikto "psycho"
And it's without a doubt that he is one.., a sadistic, sociopathic, psychopath
After splitting, his alters can and will get more aggressive and do more harm and damage to others cause they're doing the most at protecting the host.. (depending on the alter, some wanna protect him while some wanna hurt him)
Oh by the way about the intelligence part, I mean he has a good good memory with remembering faces..
He doesn't like people looking at him funny, he'll get angry really fast and annoyed at the same time.., he won't show hesitation when it comes to approaching you and asking you what are you looking at (it's like trying to avoid eye contact with a homeless man Infront of a store, that's how scared you would be)
He's slow with jokes or any form of humor that you throw at him??? You'll be excited to tell him a joke, and when you do he just looks at you and tells you never to do that again..,or just straight up tell you he doesn't get it...??? and probably trying to explain it either he gets it or not he'll still tell you that it's not funny
He doesn't argue, or he does? Arguing with him will costs you avoiding getting objects thrown at you so you can get out of his sight..tragic, now you have a teammate that hates your guts and won't apologize for it.
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this isn't well written or anything I'm just. I'm Desperate to get Ren out of my head he's been living here rent free and I NEED to switch into Taiga mode to write that request so. Please enjoy structureless Ren rambles. He doesn't come off as character with Much Nuance (like some others, Rui!! Jin, Subaru, Haku, etc) but like. When he's been sitting in your head for the past 14 business days....things unravel.
I'm not like citing sources here. This is pure vibes. Please don't crucify me if I got smth wrong 🙏
So he has a Thing about the ocean. He watches horrors movies related to it, he seems especially grossed out by it, but he doesn't seem like he's never had experience with it. Which is why I just can't not think he came from a small, coastal town (like from Aquamarine lmao). The kind that has a Barrage of tourists in the summer and over holidays and he Hated it because now he can't just go anywhere without risking being in the background of someone's vacation pictures. And I also can't help but feel like he probably had a parent/parents who parentified him, probably not maliciously, but they still did it. Like two immature parents or one immature parent and one completely absent one, so when it came to actually being responsible about things, he had no choice but to step in. Which is why he's so annoyed by and against hard work- he's done enough of it and he doesn't want to keep getting involved when he now doesn't feel the responsibility to. He probably feels a lot of resentment towards them for what he had to take on. Whether he feels bad about that resentment or not, I can't say.
He doesn't like messes or the animals in Jabberwock. He doesn't want to have to care for anything besides himself. Haru might remind him of his family which is why he's so hostile towards him. Because like Notably, Ren isn't BAD at hard work. He does go to classes, does missions, has a job at the diner, and still has to help around Jabberwock no matter how much he tries to avoid it. He's even dedicated to his mobile games, which seems silly, but those require a lot of routine daily to keep up and it seems like he has a few he keeps up with! And if we consider the Jabberwock chapter, even though he was against Calamari and resented taking care of it, he still did and he still felt guilty when he didn't do a good job at it, so much so that he ran off to the beach to try to revive the poor thing. Not the actions of someone who truly is selfish and doesn't care. Him carrying Haru to safety too- yes, leaving him to die would have been really. Kind of reprehensible but he carried the guy and rejected any kind of thanks and appreciation for it. He could have used that as guilt-leverage to try to get out of things later but...did he? Not as far as I know.
Like he does all of that no matter how much he complains. Also, who ELSE has a campus job? I'll wait. 🥱. Sho doesn't count, the food truck is a passion project. Even BROKE ASS Kaito doesn't have a campus job. Why is Ren working? Does he NEED the money or does he feel some kind of compulsion to make it for some reason? Because he's responsible? Because he sends it back home? Because he wants to have money for post Darkwick life? Who knows!!!!! He got that job like INSTANTLY bro enrolled and got that work study like the first damn week.
And this is way less in the realm of Theory Crafting and conspiracy and more just a pure hc but I just feel like maybe his hostility towards other people, the MC included, is because he might be dealing with the aftermath of a damaged or lost relationship. Not exclusively romantic but like possibly? Like if he grew up in a small town, he probably knew the people around him from childhood to adulthood. And it's not unlikely that he had a childhood friend that stuck through all the years with him. And it's not unlikely that, if they were friends that long, that people would start making jokes and suggestions about them ending up together long term. And! It's not unlikely that! He felt some kind of pressure to at least pretend to reciprocate feelings towards them. So maybe a close friendship became a relationship and maybe he did have feelings for them and maybe he didn't or just wasn't ready for them. Either way, now he's in Darkwick and given how unhappy he is, it doesn't seem like it was his first choice to be there. Is he running away? Does he not have a home to go back to (either self imposed or true exile)? I just. I have questions.
Please someone ramble with me I'm going crazy here. I'm like God I'd kill this guy [thinking about making out with him sloppy style]. Hate him truly he's so annoying I'd argue with him every day. What if this were us
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This may sound a bit silly, and I apologize if you've gotten this kind of ask before (please feel free to tell me to look for it or link posts if you want; no need for any answer even, there's no pressure), but I think unrecorded deities have been reaching out to me. I'm a bit nervous to reach back because I'm not sure how to verify who they are effectively. I also typically ask the deities I worship for protection, but I feel like that wouldn't be very respectful if the unrecorded deities truly are reaching out, you know? I want to be considerate of the fact that they, themselves, are also deities. Do you have any advice on what I can do to verify them? Do you know of ways to protect myself that wouldn't be seen as disrespectful? If you're unsure, it's totally ok. I appreciate any and all advice you may have, as I've never really encountered this before.
Regardless if you choose to answer, thank you for being here! I love your blog, and whenever I see your posts on my dash, it brings me a smile. Thank you, and take care! c:
Vetting unrecorded entities is very different from vetting recorded ones in my experience, but you can still do it! I've found it to be a much slower, longer process, that you really have to be patient and dedicated for. It's much more about getting to know the entity for who they are as an individual than it is about checking them against known facts. So be prepared to be in for the long haul!
I've written about my methods of vetting entities, both unrecorded and recorded in a couple of places. I have sort of an intro to my process of vetting an unrecorded entity here, it lays out the idea of checking the entity against themselves and looking for internal consistency. I combine this method of getting to know you questions with my note taking methods: Part 1 and Part 2 respectively. By having good notes I can establish that consistency and look for contradictions. Does the entity say something in one visit, and then contradict it the next time I encounter them? To me that's not a reason to cut off contact, but it is something to ask them about. Maybe it's a complicated thing for that entity, maybe there's a story, maybe they're reveling truths bit by bit as they come to trust me. There's a chance they may have lied to me, and I can ask them why.
I'm very willing to hear explanations when I'm getting to know a new spirit, and for things to change as I get to know them. Sometimes they are remembering things about themselves as they are telling it to me. This doesn't apply to an unrecorded entity who is a regular spirit who has just never been written down, like a local nature spirit, or an individual one of the Fair Folk, but I've found that working with the really truly ancient spirits that maybe haven't interacted with a human in very long time can be a bit like talking to someone with dementia. I was started working on returning the Forgotten Ones in the same year that I lost my Pop-Pop to Parkinsons, and communicating to them in the begin was a lot like talking to him at the end. They knew who they were, loosely, but the details were foggy and vague, and would sometimes change a bit from visit to visit, like my Pop-Pop remembering my Nona was the most beautiful girl in the world, but not what her name was.
As for asking for protection I'm going to ask you this. Do you think it's disrespectful to ask the recorded entities and deities that you have relationships with for protection? If asking for blessings and protection is part of your normal way of interacting with a recorded deity I think it would be more disrespectful to an unrecorded one if you treated them differently. I don't really have too much to do with recorded deities anymore, but when I did I always made a point to treat them and the Forgotten Ones the same. It was important to me to show both the Forgotten Ones and the recorded deities that they were equal to me, and that the Forgotten Ones weren't different, lesser, or other in any way because of their unrecorded-ness. They were all just spirits in silly hats.
Personally, to be perfectly frank, I don't like relying on outside forces for protection. I've never been one to ask a deity or spirit for protection, it's too reliant on the benevolence of an external being, which could be revoked if a relationship ever soured. So while I think you could ask an unrecorded deity for it, I wouldn't personally recommend it. I would instead recommend coming up with a self reliant method of protection. I prefer wards on my living space and personal shields built into enchanted jewelry for when I leave my warded space, but there are other methods of protection spells out there. You could probably tweak my "Retreat Into Your Shell" Spell to be more general protection, it's sort of geared at emotional protection as designed, if you wanted to! Would just need to swap the herbs and then design your sigil/symbol for what you want.
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hi I saw you did a fluff alphabet already for captain Price for some one else but Can I request more letters? you Can pick! sorry for the Bad English and stuff by the way, Its not my first language :)
Hey there! Don't worry, your English is fine! And sure I can :>
Fluff Alphabet for Price 2
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Price is definitely the more dominant person in your relationship. Sure, he could always just sit back and let you do things, but he’s just so used to taking the wheel at his job that he just subconsciously does it at home and with you as well. Will always choose where to go to eat, will always help you in the bath with washing your back and whatnot, will often tell you what he wants you to do. In his case, though, he will reward you for listening to him. For example, he’ll give you a kiss on your forehead, cuddle with you on the couch or try to make your favorite food. He actually does enjoy being the more dominant person in your relationship.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Kind of? He trusts you enough to know that you mean no harm when you’re getting friendly with someone else, most of the time you’re just being polite. So, usually he has no problem ignoring it. But if he’s had a bad day and just wants to have you around him, with your attention solely on him, then he’ll get jealous very easily. Price will become a bit more touchy with you then, putting his arm around your waist, maybe even trying to scare the other person off. Once you’re home you’ll have enough time to get changed into some more comfortable clothes before he just plops down on top of you. Demands you pay attention to him. Scratch his scalp and he’ll calm down more quickly, though.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
He’s not too bad at kissing. There have been plenty of people who have wanted to be with him since he’s a good man. A handsome one too. He’s had a few flings here and there as well, so he’s had his fair share of practice before. Although he’s usually composed when it comes to things like this, he was pretty nervous during your first kiss together. He made it quite obvious that he wanted to kiss you by putting his forehead against yours at first and asking you if you were okay with it. The kiss didn’t last too long, nor was it too intense. It was pleasant and just right. It was the confidence boost he needed to continue kissing you.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
He wouldn’t really beat around the bush too much. If he really likes you then he’ll just make it known. If you reciprocate or just say yes, then that’s great. If you don’t then he’ll just move on. He’s got better things to do than be a lovesick fool, after all. Would ask you to meet up with him at a nice place, maybe even the place you first met if it wasn’t on a mission, and confess to you there. He may know that he shouldn’t really “purchase” you with gifts, but he’ll get you a small gift anyway. Nothing too big, just something small that you can remember him by.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It’s kind of obvious, actually. Especially to the people, who know him well enough. He becomes touchy with you. It’s not too much, and you could always just ask him to either tone it down or downright stop, but for the time being he will touch you. Just his hand on your arm, on your shoulder or your back. He is a bit touchy with his soldiers too, yes, but just a tad bit more with you. That’s why he doesn’t even notice it until someone points it out to him. His tone is also much gentler with you than it is with others. Plus he’s also more prone to praising you. It’s kind of embarrassing once he notices, but he can’t really correct that behavior either.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Once you’ve been together for some time, he knows you pretty well. He, too, is a pretty observant man. Plus he loves you, so why wouldn’t he want to watch you like a hawk? Is also pretty good at remembering things, so if you’ve mentioned something a few months, or even years, ago, then he’ll remember. This is a good and bad thing because he sometimes will tease you about it when he feels playful. Price can be a pretty empathetic man, especially towards his loved ones. Sure, he can turn that empathy off if he needs to, but he prefers to feel what you’re feeling so he can help you better.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
If you complain about the stench of him smoking then he’ll actually try to tone it down a little bit. Sure, he likely won’t ever be able to stop entirely, but he’ll smoke a little bit less for you. You expressing concern for his health because of it would actually be a motivator for him to stop entirely. But he really needs it since his job is very demanding and stressful. However, you’re pretty much the only person who gets away with hiding his cigars. Everyone else will get an earful or punished, but not you. You will get an exasperated sigh and a “Love, where did you put them this time?” He will complain to you about how expensive his cigars are and how you shouldn’t waste them like that.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Yes, Price is a cuddler at heart. I know I said he’s the dominant person in your relationship, but he really doesn’t mind being cuddled either. In fact, he loves it. Doesn’t matter who’s cuddling who, doesn’t matter what position you’re in, he’s at ease as long as he gets to touch you somehow. However, if you’re not into it, then he can tone it down a little bit, he’s a mature adult, after all. Will still want to hold your hand from time to time, though. And he does love kisses as well. Loves to tease you by kissing the corner of your mouth, just so you’ll pout and ask him to kiss you properly. Whenever he feels like sleeping in you can actually get him to get up by promising him kisses. Tell him that sleepyheads get no kissies and he’ll be up fairly quickly.
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i guess i should just accept that i am primarily a fanfiction writer. i've completed one (1) long-form original work in my whole life and it's increasingly feeling like a fluke. i've written two "collections" of prompt fills, which are very like fanfiction as you take someone else's idea and run off with it, but they're not short stories really, as they're not complete narratives, just expansions. fanfiction I can write quickly and easily and well and I almost always finish them. but I can't do the same with og work no matter how hard I try. And maybe that'll change in the future but I just feel like a failure and a fraud and a flop
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jasico prompts!!!!! i have several you can choose ur favorite:
stupid newlyweds who are on honeymoon and therefore their braincells are dead, not noticing weird things happening around them bc 1) they're used to weird shit 2) they just got married and are too into each other to notice the terrorist attacks, alligators, and mafia shootouts
classic coffeeshop au except this coffeeshop is definitely a front for money laundering but the receptionist is So Cute so you can't blame jason for going there everyday
jason has wall of nico photos that are definitely not creepy and he insists that its just his cork board where he puts photos of friends on except its mostly nico.
god!jason kidnaps nico to piss hades off but oops now he's in love and he keeps making excuses as to why he cant release nico: weather's too hot, you owe me money, i have a cold, etc etc
It wasn't a shrine. No matter what Leo said, it wasn't a shrine. Shrines were completely different - Jason knew that. He had a couple actual shrines and this, this was just a photo album. It wasn't even technically dedicated to Nico. It just sort of... ended up there.
Jason couldn't really pinpoint when or how Nico's photos became the prime material of edge page. The album had been a simple idea. Something to look at when he was feeling lonely and remember that he had friends. Initially it was just a small photo book he took with him on his travels but ever since Leo made him that portable printer, he had expanded it to a couple collections.
He hadn't been hiding it either. The albums were innocuous from first glance, protected. Everyone knew he had them, he talked about them all the time. Every time he whipped out his disposable camera, and then later his shock-proof phone, he'd say a quick, "For the album." And they'd smile and pose. There were a lot of candid photos too.
Travelling was just easier for Nico. So he was around more. Checked in more. Of course, Jason was going to have a lot of photos of him.
But as he flipped through his albums, he was beginning to speculate that maybe Leo was onto something. It still wasn't a shrine but...
Well, Nico was pretty. The light caught his face in wonderful angles. There were times he'd be laughing and Jason would think, I have to remember this.
The thing about losing all your memories? You wanted to make sure you had something, just in case it happened again. He wanted physical proof. Leo was here. Piper baked cookies. Hazel had a birthday.
Nico laughed. Nico smiled. Nico disappeared into the corner shadows of the wall. Nico held a puppy. Nico walked around with a half-grown chicken on his head for two hours.
Jason closed the album shut and set it aside. Nerves tousled up inside him. This was... perhaps a problem he had not anticipated. He steeled his breathe inside himself.
It wasn't a shrine. Shrines were for worshipping. For holiness. And his pitures of his friends were important and beloved, but they weren't worshipped. Or holy to him. They were just memories. They were just moments. They were just...
He closed his eyes and exhaled softly.
Sprawled out on the bed, Leo snored. Jason honed in on the sound as he creaked open the album closest to him and reviewed the photos. Nico's hair caught in the moonlight, his head tilted back up to the stars, eyes closed, face blissful. Half a second later when he caught Jason taking a picturing and started laughing. Another half second and the smear of his hand, his dark eyes peeking out just above.
Jason traced the picture.
I knew you loved him, Leo had laughed hours ago as he'd flipped through pages, but I didn't realize it was obsessive horror movie shrine type love.
Of course, Jason loved him. He loved all his friends. Nico was important to him. And these photos weren't - they were just a memories. Just moments.
Jason flipped through the pages of the album. The brushes of air caught against his skin. Thoughts of sinking into shadowy tendrils, the rush of nothingness, fluttered to the front of his mind. Nico's hands cold against his. His quiet, Are you okay? as Jason readjusted to solid ground.
In the album, Nico reflected back at him from every corner. Dark eyes glinting with secret smiles. The curve of his jaw. The spread of his hands. Other people sat in the pages too. But Nico outnumbered them all. He was front and center. Just looking at him filled Jason with a thick warmth he hadn't felt in a very long time.
He paused. An understanding dawned on him.
Of course, I love him, he's my friend, he'd huffed back at Leo earlier. And it's not a shrine.
Leo had grinned wickedly. His eyes were alight with a knowing that Jason detested. He hated the way Leo always seemed to know him better than he knew himself. Not in a factual logical way - but emotionally. Jason could introspect on himself for decades and never come out with the emotional understanding Leo could sniff out just by looking at him.
It's totally a shrine, dude. He'd laughed a little here, hipchecked Jason. And you're not thinking of the same love I'm thinking of.
He didn't elaborate then and Jason didn't ask. But he got it now.
Maybe it was a shrine then. Sort of. Looking at Nico - candid and posed - filled him with a quiet delight, a sense of clarity. And there was devotion there. It sat quiet in his bones, waiting for the moment Nico would appear from the shadows like an unholy angel. Then it would rattle up cut through Jason's core like a hot knife. Like an iron brand.
He'd been branded in the name of a god before. Although then, he had been an unknowing participant, sat down before a group of adults and burned until his tongue bled. His shrine was devoted to a statue. His prayers heard without much response.
This time was different. His shrine was smiles and humanity, warmth. His calls went answered every time. The brand on his soul had been placed there willingly. He'd chased it down with heavy teeth and was rewarded with blood and family.
Jason pushed Leo's legs out of the way and crawled into place next to him.
The last couple of years had been spent wandering around from place to place, restoring temples, building shrines, remembering the forgotten, taking care of the old. In his travels, he'd hoped for a deity he could take pride in like he used to. When he'd ask them what they wanted from a follower, they'd smile knowingly with crooked teeth and sharp eyes and shaky hands.
They knew the truth he was too blind to see.
He'd already found his god.
Now he just needed to prove his devotion.
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I wasn't planning on posting art here because this is a "writing" blog but here's my oc x Alex
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ur post about queerbaiting and the dismissal of people in fandom to critical analysis is so incredibly true thank you. i feel like marcille's writing in the anime has been super misogynistic a lot of the time and every time i bring this up all anyone wants to say is "well maybe this isn't for you! and you shouldn't watch the show!" like. i don't think this is about taste lmao, i am analyzing the text in front of me and coming to conclusions about the craft of it.
[This is in reference to this post]
YES!!! THANK YOU!!!!!
It is so so frustrating!!!!
It's like being at a restaurant and being served a bunch of delicious appetizers, but then one of the bread appetizers is literally just a plate of crumbs; and then when you're like, "Hey, uhh, why are we being served literal crumbs?", a bunch of the other folks eating at the restaurant are like,
"WELL HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T EAT HERE THEN??!? YOU MUST NOT BE THAT HUNGRY, SO JUST FIND ANOTHER RESTAURANT AND DON'T EAT WITH US!!"
And maybe they say it politely, but "Aw, sorry, maybe this restaurant just isn't for you 💖" is just trading out an aggressive dismissive tone for a patronizing dismissive tone. It's the same message.
And it's like! I was honestly happy to move on from the crumbs once my complaint was acknowledged because the meal overall is still delicious, but then all these folks got SUPER WEIRD AND DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT, so now I find myself double-checking all the other dishes -- and, actually, you know what those eggs DO look a Iittle misogynistic undercooked!!!!
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More progress being made. I finished re-reading The Illusion of Living this past Friday. It's a nice book. 👍
This was the last of the Bendy books in this "marathon" that I'm doing which I had already read previously and now I'm rereading, meaning that I'm kind of up to date when it comes to rereading all the books that were released until December 2021. But the race is not over yet. Soon I'll start Fade To Black, and (technically) I'll finally be up to date.
Just to continue my chain of posting about the books I finished (at least, the main ones that I really wanted to read) here it is…something I did at the beginning of March, on the night when shit went down. (I hope you know what I'm talking about).
I saw the tweets first hand, I was there! Right at the damn moment. And it was..something reading those tweets alright. If the image above doesn't show it, my mood that night and the next 1-2 days wasn't so… great. You might read this and think I'm exaggerating, but that night especially I, uuhhh, I didn't feel good! And this image (and maybe 2 more posts I made that night) are the results of that. (And to think that a week before this happened, I had finished rereading DCTL after a long time. Talk about better/worse timing than this)
At least, if you want the bright side of this, it's that even after that day, I decided to continue with my book marathon, and I don't regret it. I was down that day, but I wasn't out yet damn it!! and I'm still not. (I don't know if this sentence makes a lot of sense, but you get my point)
As a bonus, here's something I did the night I got to the part where Henry is first mentioned in the book (you can consider this as a representation of my reaction when he's first mentioned, both for when I read TIOL for the first time in 2021, as now in this rereading)
Feat. canon Henry design and my fanon design for him (I wanted to include him here + I still read this book with my fan-designs in mind)
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been thinking about how danse is who nora is endgame with in death shroud. it compels me
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I think what is missing with 4-sided Dive that Talks Machina had was a third party to have those character discussions with. It's not the same with a fellow PC. Also someone with interviewing abilities, sometimes I feel like they meander so much.
And I do like to watch them talk, I do watch old episodes of AWNP, fireside chat, etc, but for discussing the game/campaign I think the mechanics of it muddles with the flow.
I personally feel no value is added from the tower of inquiry or the cup questions, though I don't mind the game playing at the end since at this point who had their curiosity satisfied can simply leave, but answering while playing which they tried doing at least once I watched didn't work at all.
Edit: Btw when I say no value is added I mean the format (being in a cup, pulling from the tower) and not the questions themselves.
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
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i'm so sorry to see that you're being vagueposted about for your sylki takes. it may be true that how you see sylki is a bit different than a certain section of the fandom, but that doesn't at ALL mean that you shouldn't be allowed to have your own takes! fwiw, i followed you bc i actually agree with and really enjoy ur perspective on sylki. i was getting frustrated with how many people seem to view this ship in a super heteronormative way and want sylvie to basically become a housewife, and i was so glad to find a blog that felt the same way. this fandom has become tiring tbh with how many people are now freaking out that sylvie hasn't immediately started having lokis babies in s2, and i really wish that people would at least leave room for others to have their own opinions!
this! that section of sylki shippers do not leave any room for you to have your opinions! they act like a fanon police controlling what you say in your posts on your blog!
and god forbid that what you say opposes their own hcs and takes, if you commit this unforgivable sin of having a take that is different from theirs, you better be ready for some good old online group harassment! they will make you feel like you are not welcome in this fandom, they will make sure that you are hurt, they will alienate you and force you out!
but no, you are the bad guy for jokingly calling a fandom in general "vanilla" and saying (after several disclaimers that it's your personal opinion) that when it comes to canon, you don't think that sylvie should be all about being loki's housewife.
at this point i honestly hate this fandom. there are some decent sylkis out there and i love the ship itself, but a big portion of the fandom has simply sucked all the joy for the series out of me. i wonder if they realize what the consequences of their behavior could be? back when i said (in my blog) that i don't think sylvie having babies is a compelling completion of her story in canon, and this bunch came to my blog to harass me for my takes, i was in a very *very* bad place already, and the space that was supposed to be my escape pretty much turned on me and added up to an already depressing state i was in.
and bfr anyone says that it's just a fandom wank, let me tell you that these people know how to be really cruel, whether they realize it or not, their behavior is simply cruel. they don't just argue in favor of their opinion, they shit on you personally, get aggressive towards you personally, make you feel like you "can't sit with them", ect. it gets really creepy and ugly.
and the thing is, i never addressed anyone specific in my posts, i never said *this* person and *that* person have shitty hcs/takes, i never even vaguely hinted at a distaste towards the hcs/takes of someone specific, but they accuse me of pointing fingers. when i said that i didn't think canon sylvie having babies would work, i never said anything about sylki babies in fanfiction, yet people accused me of pointing fingers at the fic writers. and they would come to my blog, harass me in the replies and asks, and talk about how despicable i am in their own blogs, and it went on and on for a while.
thanks for your nice words, anon, they are uplifting. and to those who can't stand me so much, don't worry, i'm going to leave this fandom once the series is finished. i hope you are satisfied that being a shitty, gatekeeping, narrow-minded, egocentric person worked for you! but don't ever feel entitled to complain about how lokius shippers treat you.
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also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.
but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]
like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.
and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']
another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]
tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want
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