#harutaka day 2017

[heddofon-akuta]

This Evening

Characters: Takane, Haruka Ships: HaruTaka Genre: Hurt/comfort, romance, fluff Rating: K Word count: 4000+

Tomorrow story about a girl who, finally, tells the truth. 

Today, I was tired.

I was so tired, and I wasn’t even sure why. I mean, yeah, I stayed up late—but this kind of tired was way worse than normal (which was saying something, at least for me.) I wanted to cry at the simple idea of opening my eyes; I’d long since decided I wasn’t getting out of bed today. However I was soon rudely provoked otherwise by a voice that had entirely different plans in mind.

“Good morning, Takane. ♡” That soft, however cheerful sound echoed in our otherwise silent room. I didn’t need to look to know whom it belonged to. If the sun was up and about, so was he. “Or should I say, afternoon!”

My boyfri—  I, I mean, my, lov—wait. My, romantiii—…?  Ugh. My… 

Haruka.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead,” he said in a sing-song voice. Normally, I’d have just ignored him, but he pulled the window’s drapes open, and the sun rays poured brightly across our formally darkened room. Loudly, I hissed—then shielding my face with my blanket. 

“Leave. Now.”

He emitted a small disappointed sound as I felt him sit on the edge of my bed. “Don’t be like that,” he said softly, making my feelings of resentment seem almost trivial. “You should really get up—at least for a while, okay?”

“No,” I said adamantly, “I’m tired.”

“You’ve been asleep for fourteen hours.” He pulled the covers off my face, looking at me with a worried sort of expression that was hard to say no to...

But, being myself, I found a way.

Again hiding my face, I growled. Appearing on the wide-screen TV mounted across the room, a drastic change in my voice was heard. “Ahhh, you’re so needy!” Floating upside-down, I lazily kicked my feet (or rather, lack there-of) back and forth. I wasn’t keen on any measure of consciousness right now, but at least I wasn’t on the verge of physical exhaustion like this. “Are you happy now?”

“You know what I meant, Takane,” he replied, sounding concerned. “It’s not good for your body to stay in bed for so long. Inactivity breeds inactivity, you know?” (Pul-lease. I was inactive for two straight years. I’ve all but perfected the art of being dormant; at this point, I’m basically a pro.) “You should get up, and get some exercise.” (No.) “We should go somewhere, or do something fun!” (No, no, no.)

“Yeah, and we can do that with me in your phone!” I brushed off his suggestion. “And besides, don’t you think I’m just so much cuter like this?” I tried to bait him—using my hands to frame my face as I bat my eyelashes in his direction. Vague attempts at flirting were a lot easier behind a screen, I had to say.

“Hmm…” He looked back and forth between my real body and the screen a couple times, eventual to conclude, “Nope. Because Takane’s always adorable.”

Y’know...?

It didn’t matter if I was real or virtual—when he said stupid things like that, he never failed to make me flustered. “Y-You—!” I puffed out my cheeks and pouted at him in annoyance, and he seemed to preemptively know I was about to fuss at him, because he cut me off.

“In fact, you’re so adorable,” a somehow innocent sort of smirk (an expression only he could manage,) flickered across his visage, and he leaned down to hover over me slightly, “I think I could just kiss you.”

“…W-Wha—?!” 

Even though it’d been a few months now, since we’d gotten into a… relaaation—this… this, relay—ugh. 

It had been a few months since we’d gotten, eh-hem… together, (—was it possible for a human-turned-anime-esque virtual entity to throw up in its mouth a little bit? Because I’m pretty sure I just did—) but I’d had yet to find the courage to so much as kiss Haruka’s cheek thus far. My virtual head started spinning just thinking about it. 

While he certainly gotten close (what with his face being not an inch from mine,) I stopped him before he could do anything. My eyes snapped wide open, and with my heart racing a mile a minute now, I clasped my hands over his mouth and pushed him away. 

Did he really just embarrass me into waking up?

“A-Alright, alright! I get it!” I glared.

With his mouth still covered and his voice muffled, he was cheerful to ask, “So you’ll get out of bed?”

I nodded in defeat, to which he seemed delighted. I soon realized that any sort of movement provoked a headache from my irrational sleep deprivation, but I could only groan and sit upright. He was sure to give me a good-morning/afternoon hug—which I specifically didn’t return. I wanted him to know just how inconvenient he was being. 

But, of course, he didn’t seem to get the message as he went on without concern, “I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Not hungry.”

“You should eat anyway.” (What are you, my babysitter?) “And you should change out of your pajamas. I’ll even help you brush your hair before we leave,” he told me, putting his hand atop my head before running his fingers through my waist-length mess of tangles. I felt my face heat up, but as I was still too out-of-it to complain; I could only stare in annoyance as he soon disappeared out the doorway.

After he was gone, I put my fingers to my lips, reflecting on what’d just happened—both his gracious attitude... and my bitter one. Despite technically being together, ours hardly seemed to qualify as a real relationship. There were still so many... things, we’d yet to do, and, perhaps more-so—so many things I’d yet to say. 

I groaned, pushing all related thoughts to the back of my mind before flopping back down on the bed. Despite everything, I somehow only felt more tired than before.

Regardless of my constant whining for an alternative, he eventually convinced me to go for a walk. He’d said he’d had a nice place in mind—that place being fairly peaceful and quite with all things considered, as it was somehow isolated from the rest of the city. Naturally, to that—I didn’t argue. 

However when we got there, I could only look upon this place with a vacant visage, as if surprised. I got a strange kind of feeling upon gazing at the sky projected above the green landscape; it felt like it wasn’t the first time in my life, that I’d stood in this exact spot. I mean, I guess... it probably wasn’t? 

After all, it was that little hill next to the high school we used to attend.

As Haruka made his way to the hill’s peak without me, my confusion shifted something resembling distress... or desire—but I could only cant my head to the side, trying to understand the situation. It was as if there was something important to be remembered here, but I just wasn’t quite sure what that was.

“Aren’t you coming?” Haruka asked, looking back at me.

“Ah,” I responded softly, “Yeah.”

Regardless of was escaping my mind, the area was otherwise tranquil as promised. It’d be a good place to kick back and listen to the radio for a while, but... glancing over to Haruka from the corner of my eye, I couldn’t quite bring myself to physically put my headphones on. 

Regardless, still resentful, I didn’t engage him in conversation, but he didn’t seem to notice or mind. As per usual wherever he went, he brought it sketchbook, so he was occupied.

Shifting my gaze, I glanced down to the paper. He seemed to take notice, as he hid the picture against his chest, wearing a distinctly guilty expression. Quite fittingly, in fact, as I’d seen enough to know what he was doodling.

“What have I told you about that,” I narrowed my eyes, to which he, naturally, grew downcast and discouraged.

“But… I love drawing you.”

I felt a sudden fluster, having never quite realized the fact for some reason. I growled at him, visibly angered—then crossing my arms with a huff. I turned away, so he couldn’t see my face. “Well, I don’t care! Draw something else!”

“Hmm…” he pondered for a moment, not letting my mood get to him too extensively. From the corner of my eye, I saw him look around, eventually setting his sights. It wasn’t long before I heard the sound of his pencil tracing across the page—but just to be safe, I waited a few minutes before looking back to him (...but I swore to God—if I looked over and saw the back of my head on that page, I’d smack him right in the fac—)

Oh? “What’s that?” I asked bluntly. It was a strange sort of picture that I couldn’t quite make out yet. (Oh, gosh—don’t tell me it was an abstract picture of the back of my head?) However he didn’t seem discouraged by my untrained eye, as he only smiled and held his sketchpad out at arms length—comparing his picture to the original subject. 

“It’s the sunset, see?”

“…Oh. Oh, yeah, I kinda see now,” I replied.

Suddenly, I realized how late the day had gotten. I must’ve slept a really long time… and yet—

I was still so tired.  Why did I have to be this way? 

The thought only proved to make me more upset, so naturally—throwing some of that pessimism Haruka’s way—I asked, “Isn’t it kinda impossible to draw something like a sunset with just one color?”

“Eh? You think so?” he tilted his head a bit. “Well, I say it’s only as impossible as you make it seem,” he stated in contradiction, pointing his finger in the air.

I shrugged, because, well—what did I know, right? Guess that’s why he was the one with the sketchpad here. Though I was pretty sure it had more to do with my sour attitude (which, naturally, didn’t stop there.) I only continued to discourage him, or maybe I was just testing how far his optimism went. “It just seems boring to me.”

Even though I’d all but insulted him just now, he hardly seemed phased; he just laughed my comment off. “Then I’ll make sure to bring colored pencils next time, so you like it more—okay?” To which I narrowed my eyes—feeling oddly annoyed as he suggested going out of his way to please me. Regardless, he went on to explain, “I just wanted to draw the sunset today, too. Since I couldn’t draw what I really wanted, I picked the next best thing,” —he could’ve sufficed in saying, but naturally—that wasn’t enough for him. He laughed quietly to himself, as if he preemptively knew how I’d react to his next statement. He smiled, timidly holding his sketchpad against his chest.

 “It’s close, but even the sunset couldn’t be as beautiful as Takane.”

“Eh?!” I shouted... to which he laughed once more, and I instantly smacked his sketchpad out of his hands. I hissed in his direction, fixating a harsher kind of glare. “Stop laughing, idiot!” 

He didn’t. “But, I mean it!” he said.

Bitterly, I tried my hardest to hurt his feelings. “W-Well—! I hate the sun!”

Reading me like a book, he was forward in explaining myself to me with a smile. “When you say you don’t like something, I know it means you love it.”

I was caught off-guard and was without words for a moment. “I… I do not,” I finally said... perhaps only furthering his point. “Whatever! You’re just an idiot!”

“And when you act mean like that, I know you don’t mean it either.”

“Wh-What?!” I stuttered, offended, as if I had no idea what he was talking about—to which he only smiled as if he’d proven me right. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I think this is what the “Haruka” equivalent of smugness looked like. I grit my teeth, growling at him. Even though he was just being honest, it made me bothered. I leered at him and stood abruptly. “Whatever,” I muttered in frustration. Turning back in the direction of the base, I’d decided I’d had enough “physical activity” for today. “I’m too exhausted for this.”

While I didn’t want him to try to stop me, in the back of my mind… I was silently hoping he’d follow. And as if on cue, he seemed to have known that—as I heard him pick his things up before soon trotting at my side.

Without permission, he reached for my hand to hold. Though I was kinda relieved by it, I jerked my arm away regardless. I could’t let him think he was off the hook. But, again, he didn’t seem bothered by my behavior at all—as I was surprised to feel him reach for my palm once more. I gave him an apparent questioning look, as if I was saying, “What are you doing, don’t you know I’m mad at you?”

But acting as if nothing was abnormal at all, he only smiled sweetly in reply—a smile that still resentfully made my heart race to this day. In fact, it made me feel… kinda light-headed. Regardless, I only made myself feel worse, as I tore my hand from his once more.

And again, he reached for it.

...Why? Hadn’t I been nothing but a rotten brat to them like I have today? I mean, hadn’t I done everything in my power to push him away all afternoon. With a glare plastered to my visage, I didn’t give myself the chance to think before shouting my first reaction in his face. “Can’t you take a hint for once?! God, I just can’t stand you some days!”

I expected my words to injure him, but he just stopped in his tracks, narrowing his eyes in a way that looked somewhat pensive, or maybe just blissful. Acting like my rage had no validation, he gave me that angelic smile once more.

“I know, Takane.” I recalled our prior conversation; as if on cue, he put his hand to my cheek. “I love you, too.”

Hearing him say that, feeling the gentle touch of his hand—it sent chills down my spine, and a drowning wave of emotions over my head.

How can you excuse my behavior so easily? It makes me so mad; if you acted this way to me, I’d punch you in the face and never speak to you again. Your attitude makes me furious, outraged, disgusted with anger.  You’re such an idiot.

I just wanted to start screaming at him like I often did—shouting my frustrations for him to hear. But, just like always, that didn’t feel right.

Instead, tearing my hand away again— I said something even worse.

“Then why didn’t you know I was in love with you two years ago?”

And to that—suddenly, terrifyingly, that look of understanding had all but disappeared from Haruka’s face, replaced with his utmost confusion. “Wh… what—?” he stuttered—to which I looked off to the side, and once more toward the peak of that hill, though he no longer stood at the top. I took a step back from Haruka.

“You’re such an idiot...”

And... at the same time, you make me so happy, I feel as though I’m about to cry. What did I do to ever deserve to be so happy, with you?

Unable to slap any kind of filter over my mouth at this point, I didn’t have the willpower to control anything I said.

“Maybe if you weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have been so stupid!” He flinched a bit as I smacked the sketchbook out of his hands once more. “Maybe we wouldn’t have died if you had just realized it sooner—!”

“T-Takan—”

“—because you know I basically died because of it, right?!”

His eyes widened with fear; mine was a statement to which he took a visible step back. Hearing myself after a momentary lag—tears now burned on the corners of my permanently unpleasant eyes. 

Truly, however, my death was the farthest thing from my mind right now.

Even now, I was just looking for yet another way to pin the blame on him. He’d done nothing to deserve such harsh words—not this evening, yesterday evening, and even tomorrow’s too. Ever single day, he was doing everything in his power to make me happy. He did that just by being himself…

And there would never, ever be an evening where I deserved any of it.

I knew the reason, that ours hardly felt like a real relationship... and it had nothing to do what we had or hadn’t done. Believe it or not, It was because what I hadn’t said either. Of course, without the truth, our relationship hardly was one...

But, moreso, even with the truth, it hardly was one.

“You know… you died because of it, right?”

For what was maybe the first time in my life—it was nearly impossible to lie. 

“I was… pretending to listen to my headphones—“ I said though the tears, and it sounded so stupid when I said it aloud, “because, I… I wanted you to notice me, to ask for my attention.”

When a person immerses themselves in their own world and someone around them starts doing something else, they can’t help but feel lonely, right? Yeah—talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

“Y-You… you had a stroke, and I could’a done something about it. B-But, I just…!” I should’ve stopped. It felt like I was going to start hyperventilating, and I needed to catch my breath—but I didn’t let myself. “I just ignored you the entire time—!”

Confessing it aloud made my chest throb, but I’d never quite know what a hurting heart felt like—at least, like he did. In response to all this, he hadn’t said a word; the moment was otherwise silent besides my audible sobs.

“Haruka. You died…” I paused, finally forcing myself to mutter through my tears, “because of me. You died, you literally died, because—”

Because I wanted your attention, because I ignored you, because I just couldn’t tell the truth.

“—because I loved you.”

Both mentally and physically, I felt disgusted. Cowardly, I couldn’t at all look his way, and I was somehow surprised to feel Haruka reach over after a moment—gently placing his hand on my shoulder. Suddenly, I felt my adrenaline start to rush once more, because for some reason, in this god-awful situation—he was the one who was consoling me.

I jerked away from him. I turned around as if to run off, but he stopped me in my tracks—grabbing my wrist firmly. “Stop it!” I demanded, and while he wasn’t anything close to aggressive, he just didn’t let me overpower him this time—and he pulled me into a secure embrace. Naturally, I did everything in my power to try to break away from him, pushing and shoving him while I hissed through gritted teeth. “Get away from me!”

God, just get it over with. Just hate me alread—

“—Takane!” he finally said, his voice cracking and sounding alarmingly distressed—so much so that I was caught off guard and I ceased in my struggling. It just enough so he could pull away and look at my face. His eyes were glowing red, undoubtably so he was strong enough to deal with the currently difficult me—but what was more alarming were the few tears that were streaming down his face.

For the first time in my life, Haruka was...  crying in front of me.

And just when I though I couldn’t get any more surprised, he leaned forward as if he had no control over his actions. I froze instantly, my eyes wide and staring without focus. With a moment of realization setting in, I was instant to calm down—because just as gentle and innocent as he was a person—Haruka kissed me.

My heart raced a mile a mine. Eventually, my eyes narrowed to a close to match his, and forgetting everything that happened up until now—I kissed him, too.

He pulled away, just enough to speak—and what he said seemingly made no sense at all, but for some reason, I think I believed him.

“Takane… it wasn’t your fault.”

I’d imagine he’d opened his eyes to look at me, but upon being unable to do the same, I finally realized why I felt so tired today—and that was because, I didn’t feel much of anything at all. My body included.

After a moment, I heard him say my name quizzically, the tone of his voice suddenly growing more distressed. Just as I was about to fall to the ground, Haruka caught me before I could.

For the first time since getting my physical form back, I was having an attack... At what might have been the literal worst time possible.

He knelt, propping my body against his chest. He said my name a couple times, shaking me a bit, and the only reason I knew was because I’d instantly transferred myself to my phone. I peeked up at him from my own pocket; he seemed to take notice, giving a weak smile as he reached for me. I attempted to hide, though I didn’t have anywhere to go. I whined a bit as I held my sleeves up to cover my pouting face.

“I’m sorry.” Looking down at my unconscious self, he (almost guilty) added, “I... I shouldn’t have done that.”

With anyone else, I’d be aggressively vocal in agreement. Even with him, in most cases, I’d be in agreement. But, truly, his physical actions weren’t what caused this to happen, but rather his words.

My arms fell to my sides, I didn’t bother to flaunt my virtual persona. The tone of my voice reflected that of physical body’s. “Even if you don’t blame me, it was still my fault.”

Again, the look on his face fell to concern. He was silent for a moment, though it looked as though he had something he wanted to say. He stopped looking at the phone, only to look down at the “me” he held in his arms. He reached up, brushing the hair from my eyes.

“No, Takane, it wasn’t” he finally said. “I, I was going to die,” his words passed with slow and hesitant intonation, perhaps more serious than I’d ever heard him, “no matter what.”

My eyes widened, the pixels around my mouth shifted to a gaping expression. Confused, I could only mutter my response. “W...What?” To which Haruka gazed off to the side, as if he couldn’t bare to look at my real nor artificial face. He grit his teeth, seeming hesitant but sure to continue.

“And what’s worse, I... I knew it. I had known it for years—long before I even met you.”

I stared blankly. For a program of seemingly artificial intelligence, I don’t think I could quite comprehend the meaning of what I’d heard. Overwhelmed, it was my first reaction to blurt all the questions coming to my mind. “W-Why? Why? Since when? How? Ah, ah—“ With digital tears forming in the corner of my virtual eyes too, I could only ask in fluster, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to, Takane—but I couldn’t,” he was instant to explain, gritting his teeth with a pained expression. “I could only tell Shintaro-kun, because something about the idea of telling you just... made my heart stop even faster.” He grit his teeth with a pained expression, as if remembering something. After a moment, I knew why. 

“Maybe it’s for the same reason I didn’t… I didn’t realize how you felt. Because I knew... I was going to die, and I couldn’t be with you.”

A confession to which I choked on my words, unsure if I felt more or less guilty than before. My breath hitched, as I was unsure of what to say. Thankfully, Haruka did.

“Takane...” he exhaled my name, “if there’s one thing I’ve never wanted, it’s for you to blame yourself. Because we died together, I have the chance at a real life, with you.”

It took me a moment to understand his meaning, but the moment I did, I felt my cheeks heat up. My real cheeks. I felt my consciousness somewhat regainable. Slowly, I opened my eyes, still damp from tears, and looked up at him. He returned my gaze with red irises, which made sense as he soon stood, holding me in his arms like a bride.

His final statement left me with yet another new sensation throbbing in my chest. Without a second thought, I reached up, grabbing Haruka by the collar, pulling him into another kiss. After a moment of mutual surprise, I felt his hold around me grow my firm, as he cradled me tightly in his arms. He kissed me back.

Feeling bold for what might’ve been the first time in my life, it was all but impossible to restrain myself. But, also, for the first time in my life... I didn’t feel like I had to.

“You’re not the reason I died, Takane. You’re the reason I’m really alive for the first time in my life.”

[lamiiarts]

so i forgot i drew this months ago, but i still like it, surprisingly ////sorry bout quality

[porlockstompf]

ALL BOMBS 2018     my favourite platterstompf

01 up-tight "live in europe" [cdr & k7]

02 france "à la recherche de la flexitude du temps" [cd]

03 dylan carlson "conquistador" [lp]

04 kawaguchi masami's new rock syndicate " now" [lp]     + masami kawaguchi "13.3.18" [dl]     + masami kawaguchi, fukuoka rinji & anla couris "ramen en los parlantes" [cd] 05 bardo pond / plastic crimewave syndicate "live amen" [k7]     + bardo pond "volume VIII" [lp]     + bardo pond & major stars "this inner light b/w s.l.t." [7"]     + curanderos "on the glaze b/w danger bird" [lathe cut 12"]

06 hôpital de la conception the electric rockin' chair [k7] 07 skullflower "werecat powers of the crossroads at midnight" [lp] 08 ulaan markhor "helm" [k7]                                09 roy montgomery "day of the lords" [lathe 8"]                    + roy montgomery "suffuse" [cd] 10 demdike stare & il gruppo di improvvisazione nuova consonanza       "the feed-back loop" [k7]      + demdike stare "passion" [dl]      + demdike stare "stitch by stitch part IV (back)" [k7] ...

11 bridget hayden "pure touch only from now on, they said so" [lp] 12 brian ruryk & schakalens bror "2 guitars country style" [k7]                   13 hex waves "canine rising" [k7]                               14 altaat "maa on täysi" [k7] 15 yann gourdon "15.10.15" [cd & dl]

16 ian william craig "tresholder" [lp] 17 stephen o'malley & anthony pateras "rêve noir" [cd] 18 sunn 0))) downtown la rehearsal rifftape march '98 [lp] (2018)°    + °sunn 0))) live @ echoplex los angeles 181118 [dl] (2018)° 19 wet tuna "great wet wonders" [cdx2]   + wet tuna "livin' the die" [lp]   + wet tuna "mountain busted" [cdrx7] 20 the opawa 45s "silver screen guitar" [k7]    + the opawa 45s "the ostrich triptych" [dl]    + the opawa 45s "live at lyttelton coffee company" [dl]

21 pro et contra "pro et contra " [cd] 22 the dead c "on the outbreak of civil war b/w good consul is punished [7"]       23 mainliner & expo 70 black hole bw totality wormhole [7"]   + mainliner / plastic crimewave syndiate "no mellow" [k7] 24 midnight mines "stations b/w radio dub" [7"]    + midnight mines "invisible insurrection of a million minds" [k7]      aka midnight mines "live @ cafe oto 200517" [dl] 25 buñuel "the easy way out" [lp]

26 ilta hämärä "velloa" [7"]                                   27 fadensonnen "brut" [k7] 28 fukuoka rinji & michel henritzi "desert moon' [cd] 29 slift "la planète inexplorée" [12"]   30 black helium "primitive fuck" [lp]

31 keiji haino & konstrukt a philosophy warping... [live] [lp]   + keiji haino & sumac "american dollar bill..."  CF 2017 !!!   + keiji haino & musqis "keiji haino & musqis" [cd]                       32 wooing "daydream time machine" [7"]                   33 fuji/ junzo "live at de audio plant" [k7]   + fuji & suzuki junzo "live at de audio plant plus" [dl] 34 leda "japanese key b/w the silent contest" [7"] 35 the caretaker "everywhere at the end of time stage IV" [lpx2]   + the caretaker "everywhere at the end of time stage V" []

36 albedo fantastica "culvert & starry night" [cd] 37 giegue "'77 tachikawa trip [hadaka no rallizes tribute]" [dl]     + giegue "noise guitar pop" [ep] [dl] 38 the band whose name is a symbol "basement blowouts" [lp] 39 mark lanegan & duke garwood "with animals" [cd]     + mark lanegan & duke garwood "mescalito" [10"] 40 suzuki junzo & ikuro takahashi     "live phantasmagoria vol I helluva lounge 27/11/16" [cdr]

41 comacozer / blown out "in search for highs volume I" [cdr] 42 parades against parades "driving me stoned" [lp] 43 headroom / dire wolves (just exactly perfect sisters band) "split" [lp] 44 hastings of malawi "visceral underskinnings" [lp] 45 barth, hjorthol, & åm "the broken vessel" [cd]

46 "in death's dream kingdom" [lpx4] 47 le réveil des tropiques "big bang" [lp]                    48 urthona "destruction blues" [cd]   + urthona & the asterism "murmurations" [cd] 49 brant bjork "mankind women" [cd]                     50 antony milton "(don't have) much to say" [dl]

Your Annual Bowery Eclectic:

& The Usual Baker Street Irregulars:

many many rereleases & the odd compilation (short list):

01 high rise "high rise II" [1986] [lp & k7]

02 public image ltd "the public image is rotten (songs from the heart)"      [cdx5 & dvdx2] 03 einstürzende neubauten "grundstück" [2004] [lp] 04 earth "the bees made honey in the lion's skull" [2008] [lpx2] 05 ian william craig" a turn of breath [extended]" [2014] [lpx2]

06 tappa zukie "dubshot zukie" [dl] 07 bauhaus "bela lugosi's dead: the bela session" [1979] [lp/cd] 08 brainticket "zürich/lausanne" [1983-1984][cdx2] 09 snatch "snatch" [1983] [lp] 10 new york dolls "personality crisis: live recordings & studio demos '72-'75"     [cdx5]

11 "step forward youth roots masters from the "punky reggae party" [cdx2] 12 augustus pablo "dub from the hills" [dl]     + augustus pablo "presents dj's from 70's to 80's" [1997] [cd] 13 international harvester "remains" [1968-1969] [lpx5] 14 "birth work death - work, money & status in country music" [lp] 15 "hillbillies in hell volume 666 country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [lp]      + "hillbillies in hell volume 777 country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [cd]   + "hillbillies in hell the rapture country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [cd]   + "hillbillies in hell the resurrection country music's tormented testament                 '52-'74" [cd]

16 simply saucer "cyborgs revisited" [rec '74-75] [1989] [lpx2] 17 the heads "rkt!" [1998-2002] [cdx2] 18 thisquietarmy "unconquered [10th anniversary edition]" [2008-2018] [cdx2] 19 ut "ut live at the venue" [rec 1981] [lp]   + ut "early life" [1987] [lp] 20 siglo xx "box" [1982-1983] [lpx3]

most pleasing purchases:

01 cottonwoodhill "places of light b/w poetry" [1970] [7"]

02 batkin brothers "mai... b/w tropical" [1970] [7"] 03 worst "mmxvii" [2017] [k7] 04 shit & shine "bass puppy" [2010] [12"] 05 sister spliff & demon dread "marchena city dub" [1980] [lp] /      king blood "eyewash silver" [2010] (2015) [cd]

gigs:

bardo pond live @ magasin4 040618

bootlegs:

01 bardo pond “live @ 100 club london 060618″ [dl]   + bardo pond "live @ union pool brooklyn 170218" [dl]        

02 van morrison "the catacombs tapes / live in boston '68" [dl] 03 einstürzende neubauten “live @ helsinki 241118″ [usb]

favourite record sleeve:

surprise ;)

the dream dates “the mess you’re in b/w search & destroy” [7’’] (1979)

radio:

               ...  sadly, 2018 saw brian turner leaving wfmu ...

podcasts:

01 jim sclavunos "conway savage tribute @ soho radio 240918" [dl]

2018 summer hit:

your annual reminder:

                   youpi youpi yeah “youpi youpi yeah” [cd] (2010)

humorstompf:

01 hans teeuwen "real rancour" / "echte rancune" [dvd & dl]

          ex aequo      01 stewart lee "content provider" [dvd]

  02 simon munnery "renegade plumber" & "sings soren kierkegaard" [gfs] [dl] 03 jeroen leenders "jeroen leenders experience" [soundcloud] [dl] 04 tony law "lost show" [gofasterstripe] [dl] 05 james acaster "repertoire" [netflix] ex aequo      luke mcqueen "the luke mcqueen pilots" [bbc]

dire times... the world needs lou sanders more than ever !

bilderstompf:

01 "here to be heard: the story of the slits" [dvd & scrapbook]

02 suburra "season I" [netflix] 03 counterpart "season I" [starz] / 12 monkeys "season IV" [syfy] 04 bas heijne "onbehagen" [vpro] 05 altered carbon "season I" [netflix] /      queen of the south "season III" [usa network]

06 bron/broen "season IV" [sveriges tv / danmark radio] 07 endeavour "season V" [itv] 08 commissario monalbano "season XII" [rai 1] 09 killjoys "season IV" [syfy] 10 inside n°9 "season IV" [bbc] / david rodigan "reggae fever" [bbc]

favourite blog:

best interwebs:

       ... a rare glimpse of the true potentiality of the interwebs ...

may your home be safe from tigers, x leroy

HNY & stay hungry!

the long list:

adam stone & dead sea apes "warheads" [cd] alvin lucier "criss cross b/w hanover" [lp] + alvin lucier "so you (hermes, orpheus, eurydice" [cd] amm "an unintended legacy" [cdx3] amt & the melting paraiso ufo "reverse of rebirth in universe" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "hallelujah mystic garden part one" [lp] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "electric dream ecstasy" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "paralyzed brain" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "the man who fell to us live in nagoya 2017" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo    "either the fragmented body or the reconstituted soul" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "sacred & inviolable phase shift" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo vs lee van cleef "psychic battles vol V" [lp] anna von hausswolff "dead magic" [cd] black spirituals "black access/black axes" [lpx2] black thumb "lucy leave [syd barrett]" [dl] bonnie 'prince' billy & roadie "hope is all i'm holding" [dl] + will oldham "songs of love & horror" [lp] + bonnie 'prince' billy / naked shortsellers "the best of folks b/w harbour men" [7"] + bonnie 'prince' billy "blueberry jam" [dl] boris "eternity - dear 25th anniversary tour live 28-12-17" [dl] + boris "phenomenon's drive" [12"] br'lâab "other people's crimes" [10"]

campbell james kneale "naamah" [k7] + campbell james kneale "o blessed fornicatrix" [k7] + campbell james kneale "timid seamstress" [k7] + campbell james kneale & anla courtis "one-1-I b/w two-2-II" [7"] chris forsyth & the solar motel band "rare dreams: solar live 2.27.18" [dl] connorparty "koko [keiji haino]" [dl] cousin silas & the glove of bones "spirits of afrodubism" [k7] dan melchior "the folksinger" [lp] + dan melchior & sigtryggur berg sigmarsson dark arc [lp] + dan melchior & dylan nyoukis "unusual dealers" [cdr] daniel bachman "the morning star" [cd] david nance group "peaced & slightly pulverized" [cd]      --- "110 blues" --- + david nance group "stalled out b/w profit" [subscriber 7"] dhidalah "moon people" [k7/dl] ecstatic vision "under the influence" [cd] efrim manuel menuck "pissing stars" [lp] einstürzende neubauten "live in helsinki nov 24 0529pm" [usb stick] elkhorn "lionfish" [k7] + elkhorn "live fish" [cdr] eugene chadbourne "solo guitar volume 1 1/3" [dl] + eugene chadbourne "29.10.17" [dl] + eugene chadbourne, beresford & ward "pleasures of the horror" [lp] flame 1 [aka burial & the bug] "fog bw shrine" [12"] fuji yuki, michel henritzi, & harutaka mochizuki "shiroi kao" [cd]

gnod "chapel perilous" [cd] + gnod "be aware of your limitations" [12"] grouper "grid of points" [lp] heather leigh & peter brötzmann "crowmoon (the auckland concert)" [cd] + heather leigh & peter brötzmann "sparrow nights" [cd] + heather leigh "throne" [cd] "hexadic III" [lp] hibushibire "official live bootleg vol III" [cdr] + hibushibire "official live bootleg vol IV" [cdr] honey radar "psychic cruise" [7"] + honey radar / john peel   "middle class revolt bw the fall as introduced by john peel" [7"]    aka chunklet industries a mark e smith tribute single [7"] + honey radar & henry owings    "wind-up man b/w 172 seconds over louisville" [7"] + honey radar & gotobeds "no present" [7"] ilta hämärä "himmeä kaihoisa sininen" [lp] it hurts "estuary" [lathe 8"] jean dupuy "all of the time: sound works 1969-2017" [lp] jo meares "back to the world" [cd] jjuujjuu "zionic mud" [lp] john zorn "insurrection" [cd]   jozef van wissem "we adore you, you have no name" [cd] julia kent, jean d.l. "the great lake swallows" [cd]           keaton is dead "treat me like I knew you would" [dl]       + keaton is dead "flying woman machine" [dl] + keaton is dead "itzy bitzy [ep]" [dl] mainliner / expo seventy "black hole bw totality wormhole" [7"] marisa anderson "cloud corner" [cd] mark kozelek "mark kozelek" [cdx2] michael gira "the egg: stories by michael gira" [cd] michael gordon, kronos quartet "clouded yellow" [cd] michael nyman "mcqueen" [cd] moe / marhaug "capsaicin" [cd] moon duo "no fun b/w jukebox babe" [12"] mv & ee & the golden road "feral run live @ brattleboro 140118" [dl]

nick cave & the bad seeds "distant sky [live in copenhagen]" [12"] + nick cave & warren ellis "kings [ost]" [cd] + nick cave & warren ellis "wind river [ost]" [cd] norman westberg "after vacation" [lp] + norman westberg "idling live" [cd] + norman westberg "before the bridge" [dl] oneida "romance" [cd] orchestra of constant distress "distress test" [lp & k7] oren ambarchi, jim o'rourke, with special guest u-zhaan "hence" [lp] + oren ambarchi, kassel jaeger & james rushford "face time" [lp] + oren ambarchi, crys cole & leif elggren "certainly" [lp] + oren ambarchi, sprenger & sollmann "panama b/w suez" [12"] -"scale" [cdx2] peter brötzmann & fredrick lonberg-holm "ouroboros" [lp] purling hiss "out tonight b/w walkin' with jesus" [k7] schakalens bror "omelette of disease" [lp] + schakalens bror "overdrive" [k7] scientists "braindead (resuscitated) b/w survivalskills" [7"] + scientists "mini mini mini b/w perpetual motion" [7"] simon wickham-smith "extreme bukake" [dl] stefan christensen "city code" [lp] sumac "love in shadow" [cd] + sumac "wfmu" [k7] sun kil moon "this is my dinner" [cdx2] + sun kil moon "linda blair" [dl] suzuki junzo "the magus" [cd] tape loop orchestra "lead is into the light" [lp] + tape loop orchestra "return to the light" [lp] + tape loop orchestra "before the light" [lp] tashi wada with yoshi wada & friends "nue" [cd] the aints! "church of simultaneous existence" [cdx2] the band whose name is a symbol "ottawa psychfest 2018" [dl] + the band whose name is a symbol "symbol ensemble III" [dl] + the band whose name is a symbol "basement blowouts 2" [dl] + the band whose name is a symbol "droneverdose" [lp] + the band whose name is a symbol "codocil" [dl] the limiñanas "shadow people" [cd] touts "sleep" [dl] träden "träden" [cd] uh "uh" [cd] uncle jim "my niece's pierced knees" [dl]       young fathers "coccoa sugar" [cd] zeal and ardor "stranger fruit" [cd]

-anthroprophh "omegaville" [cdx2]                           -black elephant "cosmic blues" [lp]                         -brigid mae power "the two worlds" [cd]                     -broeder dieleman "komma" [cdx2]                             -carlton melton "mind minerals" [cd]                         -civic "new vietnam" [12"]                                  + civic "live on pbs" [k7]  + civic "those who no" [7"] -dirtmusic "bu bir ruya" [cd]                             -la morte young "a quiet - earthquake style" [cd] -long hots "monday night raw" [k7]                             -mazzy star "still" [12"]                                       -nicolas wiese "unrelated" [lp] -okkyung lee "dahl-tah-ghi" [cd]                                   -sadahiro yamada "shitaiha" [k7] -sean mccann "saccharine scores" [cd]                           -stefan neville & greg malcolm "a nuance" [lp]                   -the final age "the final age" [lp]    

    moments of brilliance (long list B):

1/3 octave band "headlands" [lathe cut 12"]                   20 guilders "il grande silenzio: guitar improvisation 2017" [cd]     "a" trio & amm "aamm" [cd]                                 a-sun amissa "ceremony in the stillness" [cd] akio suzuki & aki onda "ke i te ki" [cd]                     alexandra philips & jan henderikse "you b/w i" [10"] alien mustangs "alienation" [lp] alternative tv "her dark places" [12"] andreas ammer & fm einheit "sie sprechen mit der stasi" [dl] anji cheung "terma" [k7]                                           + ani cheung & burial hex "solstice tape split" [k7] ash brooks "crown of thyme" [k7] ben bertrand "ngc 1999" [lp] benjamin boone & philip levine "the poetry of jazz" [cd] big blood & thunder crutch "big blood & thunder crutch" [cdr] + big blood "operate earth spaceship properly" [lp] blk w/bear "mo re b roken th an y ou" [cd] bill callahan "live at third man records" [12"]         bill orcutt "neu bros/ok phone/rural beatles" [lp] + chris corsano & bill orcutt "brace up!" [lp]                     + bill orcutt & chris cosano "gucci tops & bottoms" [k7] bong "thought & existence" [cd] boris "secrets" [cd] brian eno w/ kevin shields "the weight of history b/w only once away my son" [12"] bruce russell & noel meek "classical music" [lp] bob bucko jr "under cover summer" [k7x2] + bob bucko jr "trade mark of quality" [k7x3] brownout "fear of a brown planet" [cd] capri-batterie & stewart lee "bristol fashion" [lp] cave "allways" [cd] claire potter & bridget hayden "i am come from a place" [k7] colin stetson "the first ost vol I" [dl] + colin stetson "hereditary [ost]" [cd] constant mongrel "living in excellence" [lp] corrupted "felicific algorithm" [lp] country heroes "honky tonk tears" [cd] -courtney marie andrews "may your kindness remain" [cd] dalot & sound awakener little things [dl]   + dalot & sound awakener strangers in the city [dl] darksmith "hatred of sound" [lp] datashock "kräuter der provinz" [lpx2] dead fretts "howlin' wolf (live)" [dl] + dead fretts "third day (live)" [dl] death grips "year of the snitch" [cd] derridada "derridada waits for wolf" [k7]           dreadful "attack of the space machine" [dl] dreamweapon "sol" [lp]  

eagle twin "the thundering heard: songs of hoof & horn" [cd] ellen fullman & okkyung lee "the air around her" [dl] emmanuel witzthum "songs of love & loss" [cdr] epic beardmen "season 1" [12"] félicia atkinson & jefre cantu-ledesma "limpid as the solitudes" [lp] + félicia atkinson "coyotes" [k7] flower room "arrangement I" [dl] futurians "distorted living" [lp] + futurians "lta" [k7] gad whip "post internet blues" [lp] geography of hell "hiroshima 1945 / nagasaki 1945" [lpx2] gerald murnane "recites how i wrote elastic man by the fall" [dl] giuda "saturday night's alright for fighting" [7"] giulio aldinucci "disappearing in a mirror" [cd] + ian hawgood & giulio aldinucci "consequence shadows" [cd] + giulio aldinucci & star pillow "hidden" [cd] + martijn comes & giulio aldinucci "split" [lp] goat "let it burn b/w friday pt 1" [7"] grand veymont "route du vertige" [lp]                       heads "collider" [cd]   henry blacker "the making of junior bonner" [cdr]                             hunderd year old man "breaching" [cd] + hunderd year old man "rei" [s-sided 12"] immersion "sleepless" [cd]                                    jandek "houston tuesday" [cd] + jandek "san francisco friday" [cd] jah wobble "the butterfly effect" [cd] + jah wobble "dream world" [cd] john zorn "in a convex mirror" [cd] + john zorn "the urmuz epigrams" [cd] jon spencer "spencer sings the hits" [lp] kinky friedman "circus of life" [cd]                         kleistwahr "acceptance is not respect" [cd]

lajoie-tuttle "american primate" [k7]                           lee 'scratch' perry "the black album" [cd] + lee perry & diggory kenrick "the antisnake" [10"] lo carmen "gold guns and silver" [dl] l.o.x. "l.o.x. time" [k7] low "double negative" [cd] lydia lunch "marchesa" [cd] mad professor "elctro dubclubbing" [cd] + mad professor "ariwa 2018 riddim series" [dl] marianne faithfull "negative capability" [cd] marissa nadler "for my crimes" [cd] martin & bell "roman totale's death song [a tribute]" (040218) [dl] mary gauthier "rifles & rosary beads" [cd] -max rubadub "style & passion" [cd] mayuko hino "lunisolar" [cd] michael morley "blessed high regency" [dl] + michael morley "reverse bondage k.o." [dl] + michael morley "zéro de conduite" [dl] + michael morley "call back your dogs" [dl] + michael morley "here today gone tomorrow" [dl] + michael morley "rise above" [dl] + michael morley "we are here because of you" [dl] + gate "winter songs" [dl] + the righteous yeah "goodbye forever" [dl] + the righteous yeah "unknown album" [dl] + the righteous yeah "history of love" [dl] + the righteous yeah "game changer" [dl] + the righteous yeah "oiseau de paradis" [dl] mick harvey & christopher r. barker  "the fall & rise of edgar bourchier & the horrors of war" [cd] minami deutsch "with dim light" [lp] ml wah & herbcraft "no slack" [k7] + ml wah "big air" [k7] more klementines "more klementines" [lp]

nagual & stefan christensen "third" [7"] + nagual "florida" [cdr] nww / artaud [mini cd] + nww "nerve junction" [cd] + nww "changez les blockeurs and" [cd] + nww "experimente [personal archive mixes]" [cdr] + nww "experimente II [son of trippin' music]" [cdr] + stapleton, ka-spel, potter & rollet    "the man who floated away b/w the closer... etc" [cd] ocre "ocre" [7"] øjerum "selv i drømme lyser den første sne" [lp] + øjerum "a certain grief" [k7] okkyung lee "speckled stones & dissonant green dots" [dl] pama international meets manasseh "trojan sessions in dub" [cd] peter zummo "frame loop" [lp] [rec 1984] philip marino "chasing ghosts" [cd] philippe petit & friends "on top" [12"] phosphorescent "ç'est la vie" [cd] pierre vervloesem & alinovsky "invisible quality" [cd]           pigs pigs pigs pigs pigs pigs "king of cowards" [cd] pinch points "mechanical injury" [k7] platinum boys "we don't dance (anymore)" [7"] pumice "platelets" [7"] r stevie moore, alan jenkins & the kettering vampires "the embodiment of progressive ideals" [cd] razen "the night receptionist" [cd] rie fukuda & tabata misuru "precog" [cd] roy montgomery "jesus saves country boys too" [cd] ryan porter "the optimist" [cdx2] ryley walker "deafman glance" [cd] + ryley walker, z mark duo & extended fractures duo "lb 067" [k7]

sarry "oppidum desertum" [cd] + sarry "exspiravit planeta" [dl] scientist meets hempress sativa "in dub" [lp] seez mics "live long enough to learn" [cdr] sheku kanneh-mason "inspiration" [cd] shilpa ray "nihilism" [k7] sigur rós "route one" [lp] sleaford mods "sleaford mods" [12"] sleep "the sciences" [cd] + sleep "leagues beneath" [s/sided 12"] sly & robbie meet nils petter molvaer ft eivind aarset & vladislav delay  "nordub" [cd] + sly & robbie meet dubmatix "overdubbed" [cd] sly & the family drone & dead neanderthals / mai mai mai  "flesh logics b/w anatole" [7"] snakes don't belaong in alaska "interstellar harvester" [cdr] + snakes don't belong in alaska "radar ocean reconnaissance satellite" [cdr] + snakes don't belong in alaska II "astral audit" [dl] somesurprises "alt" [k7] stefan neville & hermione johnson "7/10/17" [dl] stoned earth "psycho city" [dl] + stoned earth "sonic planet" [dl] sundays & cybele "on the grass" [lp] suns of arqa "pressure drop: a tribute to the great lizard logan" [dl] tanz mein herz "une autre version de territory" [lp] tender crust "the earth's axis & hare" [k7] "the black book" [lpx3] the black vomit "black dada nihilismus" [dl]                   the limiñanas "remix" [12"] the oscillation "wasted space" [lp] + the oscillation "uef" [lp] thurston moore "mx liberty b/w panik" [7"] unknown artist "ijzeren rots" [12"]                         wild billy childish & ctmf "something's missing inside" [7"]   young gods "figure sans nom" [dl]

-akira sakata, chikamorachi ft masahiko satoh "proton pump" [cd]   -balmorhea "clear language: reworked" [lp]                         -bongripper "terminal" [lp]                                         -charalambides "tom and christina carter" [lpx2]                   -chris butler "got it togehter!" [cd] -cinchel "a sad study in temporal dissonance" [k7]  + cinchel "at once pleasant [live]" [dl] -cowboy junkies "all that reckoning" [cd]                       -dead valley girls "darkness rains" [cd]                           -dmbq "keeenly" [cd]                                           -earthless "black heaven" [cd]                                    + earthless "from the west" [cd]                                           -foudre! "kami 神" [lp] -guiguisuisui & emerge "enchanted garden" [k7] -haley heynderickx & max garcía conover "among horses III" [cd] -idles "joy as an act of resistance" [cd] -james greer & neil luck "we all emerge some hours later baffled" [cd] -jfk "weapon design" [lp] -jochen arbeit & friends "jochen arbeit & friends webcast" [dl] + jochen arbeit, gerd beßler & hopek quirin "abq" [dl] + jochen arbeit, munsha & hopek quirin "live at roter salon" [dl] + jochen arbeit, martina bertoni, munsha & hopek quirin    "live at volksbühne berlin" [dl] + jochen arbeit & hopek quinn "live at white rabbit" [dl] + jochen arbeit & paolo spaccamonti "cln" [lp] -kathryn joseph "from when i wake the want is" [cd]                   -keir vine "instance" [lp] -ktl "the pyre: versions distilled to stereo" [lp] -kyle bobby dunn & wayne robert thomas "kbd / wrt" [12"] -laurie anderson & kronos quartet "landfall" [cd] -lunar grace "the sunstruck forest" [dl] -randall dunn "beloved" [lp] -scot jenerik "drifting ash" [dl] -soundwalk collective "what we leave behind jean-luc godard archives" [lp]  -sterile garden "concrete maze" [k7]   -tales from the sleeping land "III" [cd]                             

the longest list:

6majik9 ritual "zero / monk nun" [cdrx2] a place to bury strangers "pinned" [cd] + a place to bury strangers "frustrated operator [slowdive remix]" [dl] aesop rock "klutz" [7"] airway "live at moca" [cd] alejandro escovedo & don antonio "the crossing" [cd] amen dunes "freedom" [cd] ana da silva & phew "island" [cd] anton mobin, kris limbach & hopek quirin "live" [dl] antony milton "unrealised films" [dl] årabrot "who do you move" [cd] archie & the bunkers "songs from the lodge" [lp] + archie & the bunkers "play the damned" [7"] aries mond "come on let's wait" [cdr] asbest "driven" [cd] ashtray navigations "zoom up" [cdr] + ashtray navigations "neon eating stationary planes" [cdr] asian women on the telephone "so wot" [k7] awkward geisha & gx jupitter-larsen "final destination" [k7] bandulu dub & dub dillah "disconnect" [dl] bart de paepe "verdronken land" [lp]                       + bart de paepe "pagus wasiae" [lp] bas van huizen "kulverzuchter" [cd] bazuingeschal "bazuingeschal" [lp] beak> ">>>" [cd] bear bones, lay low "atlantean encrypted message" [12"] + bear bones, lay low  & don't dj "plafond 3" [lp] blacklab "under the strawberry moon" [dl] black moon circle "psychedelic spacelord " [cd]                     black rainbows "pandaemonium" [cd] blóm "powerfrau" [k7] blood quartet "until my darkness goes" [k7] blue chelise "daughters of time" [lp] bras mort "give her this, she takes that" [lp] "braublff [materie und laut]" [7"x2] brecht ameel "polygraph heartbeat" [lp] bruce gilbert "ex nihilo" bruxa maria & casual nun "bruxa maria & casual nun" [lp] bryan's magic tears "4 am" [lp] bvdub "drowning in daylight" [lpx2] + bvdub "a different definition of love" [cd] + bvdub "nights of nine vigils" [dl]

camera "emotional detox" [cd] celer "malaria" [dl] + celer "a chance isn't really a chance at all" [dl] + celer "advert subversion" [dl] + celer "arc eye" [dl] + celer "something cathartic" [k7] + celer "plays ravel" [dl] + celer & forest management "landmarks" [k7] ceremony "east coast" [dl] + ceremony "darling" [k7] chaines "the king" [lp] chaos echoes & mats gustafsson "sustain" [lp] + chaos echoes "mouvement" [cd] charalambides "out of place" [k7] charlemagne palestine "interrvallissphereee" [lp] + charlemagne palestine "ttuunneesszz duh rruunneesszz" [lp] charlotte de witte "brussels" [12"] chihei hatakeyama "scene" [k7] + chihei hatakeyama "void XV" [dl] + chihei hatakeyama "void XVI" [dl] + chihei hatakeyama "butterfly's summer and vanished" [cd] + chihei hatakeyama "afterimage" [cd] + eraldo bernocchi, chihei hatakeyama "solitary universe" [cd] + vida voji´c, chihei hatakeyama "fts002" [12"] child's pose "child's pose" [7"] chlorine "the wanting seed" [dl] chris butler & ralph carney "songs for unsung holidays" [cd] chris carter "chemistry lessons volume I" [cd] church of cash "thank you sir" [cd] circuit breaker "hands return to shake" [lp] circuit des yeux ft moon bros "sœur de race [catherine ribeiro]" [dl] cocaine piss "my cake" [s-sided 12"] cold meat "pork sword fever" [7"] commodo "dyrge" [ep] connan mockasin "jassbusters" [cd] consumer electronics "the weight b/w hostility blues" [7"] coolies / the futurians "u. cs-01" [k7] cosmic ground "IV" [cd] craig gerdes "smokin', drinkin' & gamblin'" [cd] crash toto "crash toto" [dl] crayon sun "crayon sun" [cd] crazy doberman "lungs of carbon or urban paranoia without a tonal center" [k7] + crazy doberman "rust clatter for the midwest sun" [7"] + crazy doberman "confused debris from slow dreams" [k7] + crazy doberman "2038" [k7] + crazy doberman "acid gallery 3am empty bottle blow out" [cdr] + crazy doberman "live @ wfmu" [dl] + crazy doberman "live fall 2017" [k7] + crazy doberman "this land god has abandoned" [dl] + crazy doberman "get lost pens of baldwin particle one" [k7] + crazy doberman "th'basement mother 2" [k7] creep show "mr dynamite" [cd] cruel diagonals "disambiguation" [lp] current 93 "the stars on their horsies" [cd] + current 93 "the light is leaving us all" [cd] cyril cyril "certaine ruines" [cd]

d.u.d.s. "immediate" [lp] dagger moths & philippe petit "ovaries" [12"] dandelion "every other day" [7"] dark sun "innerspace astronauts rare & unreleased" [k7] datashock "banana spleen" [k7 ep] david eugene edwards & alaxander hacke "risha" [cd] dead meadow "the nothing they need" [cd] dead neanderthals "life" [cd] + dead neanderthals "birth" [dl] dead otter "bridge of weird" [lp] dead vibrations "dead vibrations" [cd]                          deafheaven "ordinary corrupt human love" [cd] deafkids "espiral da loucura" [dl] dean ween group "rock2" [cd] delacave "window has no glass" [lp] delaney davidson "shining day" [cd] delgres "mo jodi" [cd] deludium skies "aspirations" [cdr] dirk serries "epitaph" [cdx2] + n(52) & dirk serries "scatterwound" [cd] + dirk serries & colin webster "gargoyles" [cd] + dikeman, hadow, serries, verhoeven, vicente "ideal principle" [cd] dirk wachtelaer, jürgen de blonde, alec ilyine, gert de meester  "tales from the hellhole" [dl] dj klakke "black thursday in luxemburg" [dl] dogs in reverse "drella" [k7] donkey bugs ancient chinese secrets [12"] downward spiral galaxy "dsg spacebarn bootleg live 2018" [dl] + downward spiral galaxy "remembering the sunshine on a rainy day" [dl] drew mcdowall & hiro kone "the ghost of georges bataille" [12"] drew's theory "future vintage" [dl] drinks "hippo lite" [cd] drudkh "they often see dreams about the spring" [cd] dub foundation "the good the bad and the dubby" [dl]

è-lg "vu du dôme" [lp] earthling society "mo - the demon" [lp] echotourist soundsystem "naomi" [k7] eiko ishibashi & darin gray "ichida" [lp] electric moon "live 2015 zeiss planetarium bochum aka kosmos" [dl/lpx3] eleh "home age 2" [cd] + caterina barbieri & eleh "bestie infinite b/w wear patterns" [lp] elephant9 "greatest show on earth" [cd] emma ruth rundle "on dark horses" [cd] ergo phizmiz "boîte - the end of music" [k7x3] + ergo phizmiz "fstarstark mstarn winkyface" [dl] eric arn & margaret unknown "paranza corta" [lp] eugene chadbourne "29.10.17" [cd] fermata "salvaged space" [k7] fire down below "hymn of the cosmic man" [cd] flowers must die "där blommor dör" [lpx2] forest management "21st century man" [12"] + forest management "rotating angle" [k7] + forest management "biqui" [k7] + forest management & v i c i m "arid fragments" [dl] former selves "forgiveness circles" [k7] free/slope "abracadabra" [lp] frustration "midlife crisis b/w sad face" [7"] fuc lerrari & nean jégroni "souvenirs uchroniques" [k7]              futur.s mort.s "futur.s mort.s II" [dl] gallery six "kazemakase" [cdr] + gallery six "bansyun" [dl] + gallery six "geisyun" [dl] garcia peoples "cosmic cash" [lp] + garcia peoples "suite" [dl] gareth sager & the hungry ghosts "juicy rivers" [cd] gas "rausch" [cd] gashrat "rock on [do it for me]" [dl] ggallan partridge "eyesore" [8"] glasseyelashes "jellyfish" [k7] gnaw their tongues "genocidal majesty" [cd] + golden ashes "the desolation" [dl] goat "double date"  [10"] goat bath eternity "downers" [k7] goatman "rhythms" [lp] gøggs "pre strike sweep" [cd] graham day & the forefathers "emmaretta b/w love help me" [7"] gudrun gut "moment" [lp] guerilla toss "twisted crystal" [cd] guru guru "rotate!" [cd]

hairbone "earth to momma" [lp] hank wood & the hammerheads "hank wood & the hammerheads" [lp] harutaka mochizuki & makoto kawashima "free wind mood" [lp] hawthonn "red goddess [of this men shall know nothing]" [cd] herman de vries & the eschenau chaos band "idem" [lp] hermann nitsch "traubenfleisch" [cdx2] high aura'd "if i'm walking in the dark, i'm whispering" [k7] + high aura'd & asama "oil pourer" [k7] holy motors "slow sundown" [cd] holy wave "adult fear" [cd] hookworms "microshift" [cd] hopek quirin "live at chateau gorilla" [dl] howlin' rain "the alligaor bride" [cd] i am johnny cash "i am johnny cash" [cd] iguana death cult "femme fatale b/w faster faster" [7"] ilsantobevitore "realm of consciousness" [k7] ilyas ahmed "closer to stranger" [lp]   international observer "free from the dungeons of dub" [cd] j c satàn "centaur desire" [lp] j gallagher "unknown cowboy [demos]" [dl] james carothers "still country, still king: a tribute to george jones" [cd] jarboe "the cut of the warrior" [cd] jay glass dubs "plegnic" [lp] + jay glass dubs & bokeh edwards "earth two² [mixtape]" [k7] + jay glass dubs "the safest dub" [12"] + leslie winner & jay glass dubs "ymfees" [12"] jean grae x quelle chris "everything's fine" [lpx2] jeffrey lewis & the deposit returners "works by tuli kupferberg [1923-2010]" [cd] jem-one "endless days" [12"] jess williamson "cosmic wink" [cd] jessica93 "en public [live] in rennes" [dl] jim o'rourke "sleep like it's winter" [cd] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 38" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 39" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 40" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 41" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 42" [dl] jimi tenor& tony allen "oto live series" [12"] joanne cash "unbroken" [cd] joe talia "tint" [lp] jóhann jóhannsson "mandy" [ost] [cd] + jóhann jóhannsson & hildur gudnadóttir "mary magdalene [ost]" [cd] + jóhann jóhannsson "the mercy [ost]" [cd] john carter cash "we must believe in magic" [cd] john krausbauer & david kendall "pdrm" [cd] john parish "bird dog dante" [cd] john tilbury, keith rowe, & kjell bjorgeengen "sissel" [cd] jon porras "voices of the air" [cd] josh pearson "straight hits" [cd] joujou jaguar "cheap life" [7"] jsm "sound system" [12"] junkpile jimmy "wants you dead" [lp] just mustard "wednesday" [12"] julian cope "skellington III" [cd]

kapital & richard pinhas "flux" [cd] kawabata makoto "live @ akihabara goodman 281118" [dl]             kikagaku moyo "masana temples" [cd]                             killing flies "killing flies" [cd]                               king bong "beekse bergen vol I old school cool" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol II electric boogaloo" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol III bong sulfur sax magick" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol IV dreadful gate" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol V to infinity & between" [dl] + king bong "dickus pickus live at circolo gagarin" [dl] klara lewis & simon fisher turner "care" [lp] kosmischer läufer  "secret cosmic music of the east german olympic program '72-'83 vol IV" [dl] la muerte "la muerte" [cd] lärmschutz "dons" [k7] langham research centre "tics & ampersands" [k7] + langham research centre "gateshead multi-storey car park" [dl] + langham research centre "tape reworks vol I" [7"] lawrence wasser "the garden" [k7] lay llamas "thuban" [cd] + lay llamas "thuban dub ep vol I" [dl]                            lea bertucci "metal aether" [12"] leather jacuzzi "the whole hog" [lp] lee ranaldo "electric trim live @ rough trade east" [lp/dl] leroy "leroy" [12"]                                                 les horribles travailleurs, mechanical ape "collaborative soundworks" [k7] lincoln durham "and into heaven came the night" [cd] little wings & maher shalal hash baz "share" [12"] louise landes, bart de paepe, & paul labrecque "collodial love" [10"] + louise landes levi "ikiru or the wanderer" [dl] "losing today" [dl] ludo mich with jennifer walshe & w ravenveer  "ludo mich with jennifer walshe & w ravenveer" k7] luke mawdsley "luke mawdsley" [dl] lumerians "call of the void" [cd] make flames ft gavin laird "a map is not the territory it portrays" [dl] mamuthones "fear on the corner" [lp] marianne schuppe "nosongs" [cd] marie davidson "working class woman" [cd] + marie davidson & lamusa II "la ecstase" [dl] mary bell "histrion" [12"] mary halvorson with bill frisell "the maid with the flaxen hair" [cd] mats gstafson & didi kern "marvel motor" [lp] matt lajoie "the fountain [k7] + matt lajoie "free to be.." [k7] maurizio abate "the maadi sessions" [lp] + maurizio abate "standing waters" [cd] + riccardo sinigaglia & maurzio abate "dialoghi nel vuoto" [lp] maze & lindholm "where the wolf has been seen" [lp] meg baird & mary lattimore "ghost forests" [cd]     melvins "pinkus abortion technician" [cd] + melvins cock & bull bw reedy creek roast [7"] merzbow, balázs pándi, mats gustafsson, thurston moore  "cuts up cuts out" [lp] [rsd] + merzbow "monoakuma" [cd] mésange "gyspy moth" [lp] meteor vortex "absorb / implode" [k7]     mick jenkins "pieces of a man" [dl] miss red "k.o." [cd] + miss red "dagga b/w one shot killer" [12"] mythic sunship "another shape of psychedelic music" [cd] + mythic sunship "upheaval" [cd]

nathan salsburg "third" [cd] neneh cherry "broken politics" [cd] nickk dropkick "der club de faust" [dl] + nickk dropkick "sweet, sweet jazz for the soul" [dl] neil campbell "i must have my manias" [dl] neko case "hell-on" [cd] nerve beats "nerve beats" [lp] newaxeyes "black fax" [lp] nhung nguyen "illumination [piano day '18]" [dl] + nhung nguyen "oblivion" [dl]   nordvargr "mx.tape.rn" [dl]   no joy & sonic boom "no joy & sonic boom" [12"] obnox "templo del sonido" [lp] + obnox "bang messiah" [lp] olan mill "variations on the letter h" [k7] + olan mill "sounds of a new father" [cd] + olan mill "curves" [cdr] olympus "band on the gum" [dl] one eleven heavy "everything's better" [lp] øresund space collective "live in berlin '18" [cdx2] + øresund space collective "chatoyant breath" [cdx2] + øresund space collective "kybalion" [cd] + øresund space collective "space jam 160 live @ urban spree" [dl] orgue agnès "à une gorge" [lp] otherworld ensemble "live at malmitalo" [cd] oulu space jam collective "intergalactic spy music redux" [dl] + oulu space jam collective "the lotus-eaters" [dl] p j philipson "distante" [dl] + p j philipson "linotopia" [cd] p wits "blonde on blonde" [k7x2] + p wits "feel-be" [ep] [dl] + p wits "i will fall" [single] [dl] paint "paint" [cd] papa m "a broke moon rises" [cd] parquet courts "wide awake" [cd] + parquet courts "wide awake remixes" [12"] pausal "volume flow" [cd] perhaps "hexagon" [lp] + perhaps "hexagain" [cdr] + perhaps "excerpts" [dl] peter broderick "two balloons" [10"] peter strickmann "mellow toes" [lp]                                 pharaoh overlord "chewing gum live" [lp] + pharaoh overlord "zero" [cd] pheek "returning home" [dl] pierre bastien, cabo san roque, anna homler, adrian northover, & dave tucker "fts003" [lp] pink fairies "resident reptiles" [cd] posset "another forever tomorrow" [cdr] prana crafter "enter the stream" [k7] + prana crafter "bodhi cheetah's choice" [k7] preening "greasetrap frisbee" [7"] primitive knot "thee opener of the way" [k7] pullout kings "sweat crimes" [k7] questions and answers "tell us the truth" [7"]   

               radar men from the moon & 10.000 russos "rmftm & 10.000 russos" [lp] rafael anton irisarri "el ferrocarril desvaneciente" [k7] + rafael anton irisarri "sirimiri" [k7] rainbow grave "sex threat b/w you are nowhere" [7"] + rainbow grave & orthodox "death pyramid b/w spain is the place"[7"] rainforest spiritual enslavement "red ants genesis" [k7] ras g "ras g meets moresounds" [12"] red lama "motions" [lp] richard youngs "endless futures" [lp] + richard youngs "belief" [lp] + richard youngs "fierce years etc." [dl] + richard youngs "six panels for dissolution" [dl] + richard youngs "foot guitar vol VI" [dl] + richard youngs "foot guitar vol VII" [dl] + richard youngs "arrow" [dl] + richard youngs "daybreak" [dl] rosanne cash "she remembers everything [deluxe]" sasha grey & pig "that's the way [i like it] remixed by youth" [10″] + sasha grey & pig "that's the way [i like it]" [12″]                samara lubelski "flickers at the station" [lp] + samara lubelski / bill nace "samara lubelski / bill nace" [cd] sarah davachi "let night come on bells end the day" [cd] + sarah davachi "gave in rest" [cd] savage grounds "let your love groan" [7"] scarab "erect in the garden of grace" [dl] schwund "technik und gefühl" [lp] set and setting "tabula rasa" [lp] shame "songs of praise" [cd] + shame "all the hits" [12"] + shame "tasteless" [dl] shit & shine "bad vibes" [lp] + shit & shine "very high" [12"] simon felice "the projector" [cd] sister iodine "venom" [lpx2] snapped ankles "violations" [12"] sneers "heaven will rescue us, we're the scum, we're in the sun" [lp] sons of kemet "your queen is a reptile" [lpx2] sound awakener "duskiness" [dl] spaceslug "eye the tide" [cd] spiral galaxy with plastic crimewave "d machine" [dl] + spiral galaxy with plastic crimewave "celestial omen" [dl] spiritualized "and nothing hurt" [cd] starbirthed "citrine dreams" [2017] [k7] + starbirthed "starbirthed" [lp] + starbirthed "the dweller on the treshold" [k7] + starbirthed" messages from..." [dl] sterile garden "night loops III" [dl] + sterile garden "wandering in circles" [dl] + sterile garden "city corridors: sound & the city" [dl] + sterile garden "live recordings" [dl] steve ignorant & paranoid visions "1977220174u" [cd] stuart a staples "arrhythmia" [cd] sudden infant "buddhist nihilism" [cd] sugar pills bone "slack babbath plays peep durple" [k7] sutcliffe jugend "the hunger" [cdx2] + sutcliffe jugend "live at maschinenfest 2017" [k7]

the bleak engineers "introspecto b/w indiscriminate" [7"] the buckshot boys "perform the ultimate survival machine" [7"] the cool greenhouse "london b/w the end of the world" [7"] the dead brothers "angst" [cd] the dwarfs of east agouza "rats don't eat synthesizers" [lp] the ex "27 passports" [cd] the fadeaways "transworld 60's punk nuggets" [lp] the heartwood institute "secret rites" [lp]                         the staches "the great depression" [7"] trust "dans le même sang" [cd] uk subs "subversions" [cd] underworld & iggy pop "teatime dub encounters" [cd] vintage cucumber "arabische nächte II" [dl] vomir & discipline "split" [k7x6] wicked shimmies exile on 5th street [k7] °debris related (2018)° william shatner & jeff cook "why not me" [cd]                        + william shatner "shatner claus" [cd]

-adderall canyonly "museum of fire" [lp] -allen ravenstine "waiting for the bomb" [cd] -alpha steppa & nai-jah "the great elephant" [cdx2] -armonite "and the stars above" [cd] -arp "zebra" [cd] -atomonaut "inner space vol I" [dl]                                 -axelle red "exil" [cd]                                             -azusa "heavy yoke" [cd]                                             -bebe buell "baring it all" [lp] -bitchin bajas & dsr lines "encyclopedia of civilizations vol II atlantis" [lp] -black space riders "amoretum vol I" [cd]   + black space riders "amoretum vol II" [cd] -bonnacons of doom "bonnacons of doom" [lp] -brix and the extricated "breaking state" [cd] -brother jt "tornado juice" [cd] -catherine britt & the cold cold hearts "idem" [cd] -cave story "punk academics" [cd] -cavern of anti-matter "hormone lemonade" [cd] -charlotte gainsbourg "a-ring o'roses [sebastian on the beat remix]" [dl] -chris dooks joppa waves [dl] -christophe clébard on va crever [dl]   + christophe clébard & carrageenan "split" [7"] -connorparty "flying colors!" [dl] -damo suzuki & jelly planet "damo suzki & jelly planet" [cd] -deniz tek "lost for words" [cd] -die wilde jagd "uhrwald orange" [cd] -dungen & woods "myths 003" [lp] -easy life "creature habits mixtape" [10"] -echo & the bunnymen "the stars, the oceans & the moon" cd] -eddy mitchell "le meme tribu vol II" [cd] -exitmusic "the recognitions" [cd] -glenn matlock "good to go" [cd] -grant-lee phillips "widdershins" [cd] -hatis noit "illogical dance" [cd] -hilary woods "colt" [cd] -ida sofar "mind" [cd] -jack ladder & the dreamlanders "blue poles" [cd] -jenny hval "the long sleep" [12"] -john grant "love is magic" [cd] -johnny jewel "themes for television" [cd] -juan d'oultremont "je pense donc je fuis" [dl]   + juan d'oultremont "ma fiancée" [dl]   + juan d'oultremont "otages b/w invisible" [dl]   + juan d'oultremont "avant l'incident" [dl] -khalab "black noise 2084" [cd] -king dude "music to make war to" [cd] -kode9 & burial "fabriclive" [cd]

-la race "drancy ostinato" [lp] -laraaji, arji oceananda, dallas acid "arrive without leaving" [12"] -larry heard "heaven dub" [12"] -len leise & jura soundsystem "for adrian b/w udaberri blues" ]12"] -life education "earth tones" [cd] -malcolm middleton "bananas" [cd] -matthew "doc" dunn "lightbourn" [lp] -nurgul jones "carcosa" [dl] -okkervil river "in the rainbow rain" [cd] -oneohtrix point never "age of" [cd]   + oneohtrix point never "love in the time of lexapro" [dl]   + oneohtrix point never "the station" [dl] -open mike eagle "the dark dark purple tape" [k7]   + open mike eagle "what happens when i try to relax" [12"] -orchestre tout puissant marcel duchamp "sauvage formes" [cd] -paolo conte "live in caracalla 50 years of azzurro" [cd] -peter hammill "x/ten" [cd] -protomartyr & spray paint "irony prompts a party rat" [7"] -ramble tamble "outlaw overtones" [k7] -rimjob texas "buttleg jan18" [dl]   + rimjob texas "plačilni nalog" [dl] -ruby karinto "ruby karinto" [lp] -silencaeon  "dead channel (music inspired by william gibson's neuromancer)" [dl] -sink ya teeth "sink ya teeth" [cd] -slightly stoopid "everyday life, everyday people" [cd] -stephen inglis "cut the dead some slack" [cd] -suishou no fune "moonlight" [k7x2] -territorial gobbing "circle of dads" [k7] -thalia zedek band "fighting season" [cd] -the decemberists "I'll be your girl" [cd]   + the decemberists "traveling on" [10"] -the lumineers "c-sides" [dl]   + the lumineers "live tracks" [dl] -"veterans in dub [deluxe version]" [cd] -zacht automaat "memory of the world" [12"]   + zacht automaat "commercial waste" [dl] -zola jesus "wiseblood (johnny jewel remixes)" [12"]   + zola jesus "okovi: additions" [dl] -тпсб "sekundenschlaf" [lp] - bevis frond "we're your friends, man" [cd]

- bevis frond "we're your friends, man" [cd] - bloody hell "my boss ross" [7"] - bobby body "rock on" [7"] - chocolat billy "délicat déni" [cd] - colin self "siblings" [lp] - dita von teese "dita von teese" [cd] - father john misty "god's favorite customer" [cd]   + father john misty "live at third man records" [12"] - gary war "gaz forth" [cdr] - jennifer warnes "another time, another place" [cd] - jonathan richman "sa" [cd] - marc ribot "songs of resistance 1942-2018" [cd] - meghan patrick "country music made me do it" [cd] - no age "snares like a haircut" [cd] - nytt land "odal" [cd] - pablo raster "dub addicted" [dl] - pascal comelade & ivette nadal "arquitectura primera" [7"] - piloot "recuerda tu futuro" [k7] - rosali "trouble anyway" [lp] - ry cooder "the prodigal son" [cd] - salad boys "this is glue" [cd] - sarah shook & the disarmers "years" [cd] - satis "saturnalivm" [dl]  + satis "planetarivm" [dl] - simon love "sincerely, s. love x" [cd] - spain "mandala brush" [cd] - spiny normen "spiny normen" [cd] - the johnny clash project "the johnny clash project" [cd] - the mountain goats "hex of infinite binding" [dl] - vanessa paradis "les sources" [cd] - weiland "perruche b/w vakbond" [7"]

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[heddofon-akuta]

for today's takane month post, i wanted to share a few pages from my favorite doujin. i’d call it the most heartfelt and picturesque post-str story that i’ve ever seen.

while it’s mainly set around haruka and takane, it explores many other character relationships too. seen above are a few of many harutaka scenes, including haruka realizing that takane gave his life meaning, a very beautiful confession, SOME ADORABLE DOMESTIC HARUTAKA, and lastly, him asking her to marry him at the end.

it's by sanbunnoni, who was one of my most favorite harutaka artists ever. unfortunately, they’ve largely retired from the kp scene, but you can still sometimes find this doujin used on otaku republic. it'd recommend it to anyone who likes the ship, it’s really touching.