#hart’s shoulders must hurt from CARRYING THIS DATE

[nobrain-onlysteven]

this video was a disaster I love it so much

Honobread: I had a great time!

Everyone @ Hosuh and Stephen:

here’s the video go watch it now: https://youtu.be/b0KsxnZZxhE?si=8gdRk_gaG67X6Ecn

[shortprince-cos]

When You Fall, You Get Back Up

Summary: Patton finds himself on the forest floor, and he can't get up. Luckily, he finds someone who can help him.

Ship: Intruality

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, angst.

Warnings: Attempted suicide, impalement (only a bit), broken arm, IV, ambulance, child abuse. Tell me if I need to add anything else!

This fic is inspired by the musical Dear Evan Hansen, because I have a lot of feelings and couldn't help myself.

~~~~~

The forest looked beautiful from up so high.

Patton secured himself on a thick branch and took in the view. He had climbed about 2/3 of the way up the tree. He was so high up. If he fell, it would hurt. Bad. He should try not to fall.

But he ended up on the ground.

It didn't hurt immediately. He just lay there in shock for a couple of minutes. The fall happened so quickly, it was hard to even process that he hit the ground.

Until the shock wore off and the pain kicked in.

His entire left side hurt, that must have been the side he landed on. He felt like he couldn't catch his breath, like the air was taken from him.

The side of his head had something in it. His glasses. They must have broke and pierced his skin.

Patton gasped for air while so many tears traveled down his face. He was whimpering so much, he probably sounded like a hurt animal.

That actually is what he was. A hurt creature in the forest, calling and crying and sobbing for someone to help.

He tried to lift his left arm, but pain shot through him like a dagger going straight through his skin. Something impaled his arm.

He just kept whining. Hoping and calling and praying for someone to find him.

Just like that, Patton heard a voice. "Holy s**t! Are you ok?!" Apparently praying works sometimes.

Patton only squeaked in response. He couldn't even see who came to save him, his eyes were clouded with tears, it made everything blurry and wobbly.

"Oh my god! Your arm! That's so gross and cool! ...Sorry that's not cool right now. Um- do you have anyone you need to call before the ambulance gets here?"

Patton shook his head, but stopped when the pain of the glasses hit.

"Oh fu- that looks painful." The stranger was about to take the glasses off before he decided that the doctors should probably do that.

"Do you have a name?"

Patton opened his mouth, but only a whimper came out. Air was slowly coming back, but the tears were stubborn.

"Oh god- ok- um- the ambulance is on their way. Can- can you breathe ok?"

Patton nodded. It was only a small, lean down, kind of thing, but the kind stranger got the memo.

"Ok- um...do you mind if I take pictures? I'm a gore makeup artist for short films and s**t, and you don't see these kind of wounds everyday! They'll make really good reference pictures! Of-of course, only with your permission?"

Patton didn't understand what was so strange about his wounds -the thought that they were abnormal was a bit distressing- but he nodded anyway, giving the artist permission to take a photo.

Patton soon heard the wailing of sirens in the distance.

"Ok, the ambulance is here. How are you doing? Can you talk now?"

Patton's throat had a massive lump in it, but he somehow managed to speak a little.

"I-'m Pat-Patton."

"I'm Remus." The man- uh- Remus called over to the emergency team so that they could come and help.

Soon, he was put on a stretcher to be carried to the ambulance.

As he was put in the ambulance, the emergency nurses were discussing something about Patton's arm and head.

Remus ended up riding with him to the hospital. Patton didn't understand why he felt the need to, it certainly couldn't have been required.

"Ok, what's your name and age?" One of the nurses questioned while grabbing something.

"P-Patton Hart. Sevente-teen." Patton managed to get out.

"Ok, date of birth?" The nurse filled a container with a syringe with a clear liquid, some kind of medicine? Patton didn't know much about doctor stuff, so everything that was happening was confusing.

"January fifteenth, 2003."

Remus suddenly put his hand on Patton's shoulder, which meant something was about to happen. Patton didn't like any of this.

The nurse walked over to the right side of Patton, and cleaned a spot on the middle of his arm with an alcohol wipe.

"Ok, how did you break your arm?"

"I-" The nurse put the IV in. Patton hated needles. They scared him to death. Even thinking about getting shots could give him a panic attack.

Remus squeezed his shoulder a little harder. Soon, Patton felt so tired.

---

Patton's father did not like paying that hospital bill.

"How could you be so idiotic, that you fell out of a f**king tree? It was a tree, god d**n it!"

"I'm sorry, I-" His father slapped him across the face. Hard.

"You're lucky you still live here." And with that, Patton's father left him alone. For now.

Patton walked upstairs to his room and shut the door. He crawled under his bed covers, just hoping that he could sleep through the rest of his life.

'You can end it now.' Patton thought. 'All you have to do is get the pill bottle.'

He was about to get up until his phone rang. It was an unknown number, most likely a scam, but Patton answered anyway.

"Hello?" Patton tried to keep the wavering out of his voice.

"Hey, Patton? It's Remus! Ya know, the guy who found you earlier!"

"Oh! Hey! Why-why are you calling me?" Patton was a bit confused as to why Remus would even want to speak to him again, but he tried to put that in the back of his mind.

"I just wanted to see if you were alright. I mean- you did fall from a tree, that had to hurt!"

"I-I guess. I'm...I'm ok though."

"Good! Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime? You seem like a pretty cool person, so I thought 'ehh why not?'!"

"Uh- sure! That sounds like fun!"

"Cool! Talk to ya later?"

"Yeah. Bye!"

Is this how you make friends, or is Patton delirious from the pain medication?

---

Three months go by faster than you think.

It felt like yesterday when Patton fell to the ground.

"Patton? Can I talk to you?" Remus asked as they were watching TV.

They had movie nights pretty frequently. It was a fun pastime that they both looked forward to.

This week, they were in Remus' house, instead of going to an actual movie theater, but Remus was acting a little strangely this whole time. He seemed...nervous? Patton didn't understand, but now Remus was asking him to talk?

"Sure. What's up?" Patton asked wearily. Remus' question frightened him.

'This is it. He's done being my friend. He was just hanging out with me out of pity. But now he's bored and wants to go back to his own life.' Those were the thoughts running through Patton's mind.

"I-I just wanted to ask if you- well if you..." Remus pulled a beautiful silver locket out of his pocket. "If you...wanted to be my boyfriend?"

Patton was stunned.

"I-" Patton took in a shaky breath. He needed to tell Remus...but Remus would never stay if he told him the truth. He would leave, just like everyone else did when they found out.

...Maybe if this stopped now, it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Remus, I-" Patton sighed. "You can't date me."

Remus expression changed from nervous excitement, to confused sadness.

"W-What? Why not?"

"You don't want to be with me, I'm-" Patton stood up and took a deep breath before continuing. "You don't want to date someone who lies and deceives and fakes."

Remus tried to protest, but Patton left without another word, only tears on his face.

---

Patton had gotten his cast off a week ago. It had been at least two weeks since he rejected Remus.

Before long, Patton found himself back at the tree that he dropped from.

He looked up at how tall it was. He sighed before walking up to the trunk.

'Climb it.' Said the voice. The voice that was always in the back of Patton's head. It was louder now that Remus wasn't with him. Just like when he was here the first time.

Patton almost obliged, before he heard a voice from behind him.

"Patton? Why are you here?" Remus. Why did he have to come?

He always comes.

"I-I just-"

"What are...you doing?" Remus looked like he just solved some kind of puzzle. "You- that's-" Remus gasped a little. "You didn't fall."

"What? Of course I fell, how else would I have broken my arm?"

"No, I mean-" Remus took in a shaky breath. "You jumped, didn't you?"

Patton physically tensed at the words. "N-No. I- I didn't- couldn't-"

"Did you? Did you jump, or let go, or-or-"

"No! No- I-I didn't-" Patton tried to defend himself...but he didn't even know the truth.

Actually, he did. Deep down he did, he just didn't want to admit it.

"Patton! Why did you climb that tree?!"

"WHY DO YOU THINK? I DID IT TO DIE!" Patton screamed at Remus, hot tears running down his face.

Remus was shocked. He didn't know what to do knowing that-that Patton could have died.

"Is that the answer you wanted? Because yeah, I came here to die. But then, I-I fell and-and broke my arm. And now, I'm here, trying to-to do it again." Patton was shaking violently, hugging himself to try and stop the trembling, the tears still sliding down his face.

Remus basically ran to him. He took Patton in his arms and tried to calm him down.

Oh god. What now?

---

About a half hour later, Patton could breathe normally again.

Remus and Patton were sitting on the forest floor, Remus had Patton in his lap, almost cradling him.

"Patton?"

"'m sorry."

"It's..." Remus wanted to say that it was ok, but it wasn't. "What's done is done. All we can do now, is try to get better."

Patton buried himself into Remus' chest. "Ok."

"Patton?"

"Yeah?"

"You will get better, I promise."

"...How?" Patton's voice sounded so broken and hollow and empty.

"I'll help you. I'll make sure you do."

Patton shook his head. "You won't want to stay, nobody ever stays."

"I want to. I will. I promise." Remus ran his hands through Patton's hair, hoping to comfort him in some way.

Patton sobbed into Remus' shoulder. Cries that have been held in for way too long, sobs that Patton had buried deep inside himself.

After a while, Patton's sobs died down a little, he must have been too tired to keep crying.

"Patton?" Remus asked.

"Mm?" Patton was still hugging Remus, he was probably almost asleep. He seemed so tired.

"It might be a little early for this, but I love you."

Patton hugged him a little tighter. "I-I love you t-too."

~~~~~

Sorry for more angst, Hahaha I can't stop myself

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[agent-absinthe]

Excerpt from Honeyed Pt. 5

I won’t make any promises as to when this will fully be up by I hope this tides y’all over for a bit!

“What do you think about the current state of the Kingsman stocks and the company outlook?”  Percival asked, his gin and tonic lying forgotten in his hand as he and several others looked to Elise for her answer.

“Well, considering the fact that it’s been over six months since the company began its partnership with Microsoft I think it may be hitting that plateau of investing interest.  The stocks will probably fall a little, but I think Kingsman is in good enough health to afford to pay off some extra dividends and get that enticement back up.  Maybe offer a special deal to college students, they already love the brand and any promise of growth in their lives is always a welcome one.  I mean just by getting out there and talking about it on campuses could generate more cash flow than we have coming in from current holders.”

Elise took another drink of her cocktail and smiled at the sharply dressed business men, who nodded their approval and drank with her. Hamish had deposited her at the bar and went off to deal with some formal business matters, his colleagues becoming very curious about who Merlin was carrying around on his arm.  Percival had not expected an actual answer out of her, then again if anyone was going to bring in a gorgeous girl that knew her shit it was Merlin.  He was currently leaning against a table talking about quarterly results with several of their biggest stockholders including Joseph Hesketh, who was quick to ask about his date.

“She’s a cute little thing isn’t she?  Looks a bit young too, Hamish I didn’t take you as the uh, cradle robbing type.  Not following in Hart’s footsteps are you?”  Joseph’s eyes locked on to Eggsy across the showroom floor, the sugar baby brat was in line for a promotion that his son should be getting instead.

Merlin was on his fourth dram of good scotch so the insult didn’t sting as much as it should have, “She’s 23, tha’s not exactly a cradle robbing age.”

“My apologies, where did you find her?  She looks like she’s getting comfortable over there with Percival, seems quite friendly.”  He said it with a laugh, nodding to the bar where Elise had her hand over her mouth giggling at something the Software Developer said.

Hamish immediately scowled, his buzz turning his own insecurities to irrational anger in seconds, he huffed and turned back to Joseph downing the last bit of his drink before answering the question.

“Elise just likes to please, probably laughing at one of his fucking computer puns-“

He watched them talk excitedly to one another for several more minutes until Percival excused himself and Elise put a hand on his forearm as they said goodbye- an innocent gesture of friendliness.  Merlin took it as anything but.    

Elise was back at square one of sipping her drink alone when a younger man who didn’t seem so impressed with her knowledge slid across the bar to her side. He was handsome- curly hair, sharp cheekbones, a jaw of marble- and apparently didn’t realize who she walked in with.

“And who’s date are you then?  Must have cost him a fortune to have you all dressed up, although I will say the company knowledge is a very good touch.”

“Pardon me?”  Elise prayed she heard him wrong, her heart beginning to beat faster.

“Oh, drop the act.  Half of these old bastards in here have an escort or a whore on their arms instead of their wives.  You look far too uncomfortable in those diamonds and dress to be used to anything and I don’t see a name tag on you which means you are not part of the American sales team, obviously.  So the question still stands; are you an escort or are you a whore?”

She was caught in the headlights.  Eyes wide, heart hammering.  Was it that obvious that she didn’t fucking belong in here in these clothes? Was she that much of a low class fuck up?  

“Oi!  Charlie, how ‘bout you back the fuck up there, bruv.  Maybe try not to be such a posh fuckin’ prat, ya?”  Oh, Eggsy.  Thank fuck Eggsy.

This only made Charlie laugh, “Ah!  A sugar baby!  That was my next choice.  Ugh, do you lot just run in packs now?  God, I have to know who’s willing to pay to try and pull a Pretty Woman on you though. Is it Bors?  I bet it’s Bors-”  

Eggsy was aggressively protective of Elise, he remembered his first time being thrown to these wolves and dammit if he was going to let Charlie fucking Hesketh ruin Elise’s night.  He was prepared to make an absolute scene and embarrass the fuck outta Charlie, luckily there was no need for that because right at that time Hamish was making his way to them.  The look on his face less than pleased.  Elise didn’t notice it though all she knew was that he was coming for her and she wouldn’t have to stand around like a lost puppy.  

“Hamish!  Honey, Eggsy was just introducing me to one of the other U.K agents!”

The sudden terror on Hesketh’s face was enough to make Eggsy put a hand to his mouth to try and stifle the laugh that was going to bubble up.

“Hesketh, your father’s asking for ye, best go see to it.  And Eggsy, Harry is around here somewhere, go keep him out of trouble.”    

“Of course!  Lovely meeting your date, sir!”  Charlie turned sharply and drug his own feeble date along with him.

“Thank goodness you came back, I missed you.  I was starting to get really uncomfortable, these people are vultures- ah!  Hamish stop, Hamish that hurts.”

He had a possessive hand on around her upper arm, blunt nails biting into her as they paced across the room Merlin’s long and now quick gait made Elise have to hold up the front of her dress so that she wouldn’t tread on it.

“I do not appreciate you disrespecting me like tha’.”

“Disrespecting you? How?”  Elise felt like she had somehow been dropped into a nightmare.  What the fuck was happening?  

“Y’ were flirting.

Ah, Percival.  She rolled her eyes, "How? How was I flirting? I was trying to make a good impression!”

The hand around her arm tightens, nails now cutting into the skin. Hamish would wake up tomorrow with dried blood under them and have no memory of where it came from.  He pulled her closer to him and fixed his gaze on her, eyes heavy and dark with rage.  Fear now joined the growing shame as she looked up at him suddenly painfully aware of how small she was despite the heels that nearly put them on fair ground, but anger was also making its way into her system.

"Why are you acting like this?!"

"ME? You're the one soliciting with everyone else here!"

"Soliciting?! Hamish, you told me to socialize! What's wrong? Did you not know I was fucking smart? Did you not think I'd be able to talk to people here? I'm trying to look like someone who belongs here with you and not-" and you huff and look down embarrassed, Charlie’s words still echoing in her head.

"Like what? Oh like a paid date?  A whore?"

"... ya.”

He tosses her arm down and seethes, "Well that's all you are. I paid for everything on ye and I paid for you.  That makes you mine so, fuckin’ act like it.  Keep your mouth shut, stop flirtin’, and for fuck sake keep your hands to yourself.”

Elise turned her head away and blinked, fuck don’t cry don’t cry it’ll make the scene worse.   Bile was at the back of her throat, chest suddenly so tight she felt like she couldn’t fucking breathe.  Even though no one was watching them, Elise had never felt more humiliated in her life.  No one made her feel more humiliated than Merlin had just now, the whole relationship of trust and intimacy now broken down into labels.  The power dynamic more clear now than ever.

“I need a fuckin’ drink.  When I get back, ye better be here and have lost that attitude.”  Another scotch was definitely not what he needed, but at this rate nothing mattered.

Her voice was small and strained from trying not to cry, “You’re not who I thought you were.”

Hamish didn’t respond and instead stormed off leaving Elise on her own again.  She couldn’t stay here, not after that- he made it perfectly clear what he thought about their arrangement.  Made it clear that there was not a mutual respect, she was just some young piece of ass he could pay to carry around on his arm when it was convenient.  A panic attack was blooming in her throat, mascara already starting to run and blur her vision.  Elise was able to slip out the patio door before any of her sobs became vocal, how could she have been so fucking stupid?

“Somethin’s wrong.”  Eggsy had seen some of the exchange, saw Elise slip out.  His stomach was in knots.

“Darling, I’m sure everything is fine-“

“No, it ain’t.  Go stall Merlin, I need to make sure that El’s ok.”  

He handed Harry his martini and made for the door leaving the accountant looking a little bewildered.  It was easy enough to find her.  Elise was sitting on the steps leading to the gardens, it was a chilly night and most of the drunk crowd was happy to stay inside where it was warm.  To try and quell her sobs Elise was biting her fist, anything to keep the pathetic sounds from coming up.

“Elise?”  Eggsy knelt beside her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she instantly leaned into him and he held her, “What ‘appened?  Is this about what Charlie said- don’t listen to him!  He’s just a posh snob, don’t know what he’s talkin’ about.”

All of his words of comfort fell short as soon as she spoke, “Hamish called me paid for.  Basically said I was just his whore.  Eggsy, I-“

More sobs came up from her lips, but Eggsy already had his phone out to grab her an Uber, one arm still protectively around her shoulders.  His own anger making his blood boil, he had to get her out of here before Hamish fucked up even more.

“Shhh, I’ve got ya a ride, they’ll take ya back to Merlin’s so you can get your car.  Go home, take a shower, don’t think about him, love.  I’ll call you in the morning and we can figure out what to do.  If you want to end it ya got every right to.”

“If I leave-”  Panic showed plainly on her face.  Panic and fear.

“Hey, ‘arry and I will handle him.  He’s gonna have a lot to answer for tomorrow, what he did was fucked and ya don’t deserve to be treated like that.  Now come on, they should be pullin’ up front soon.”

The poor Uber tried talking to her but eventually just handed her a box of tissues and turned up the music, it was a merciful gesture and she made sure to tip them well.  Once inside Elise could feel the exhaustion and shame seep into her, filling every fiber like she had been infected by something.  After the dress, jewelry, shoes, and lingerie lay neatly folded on a chair in his bedroom she pulled on some spare clothes she kept at the house and left, wanting nothing more than to curl up in the shower at home and finish crying.