#harry and louis keep making it seem like he did something so fucking terrible and like. ok. maybe he did

[queerofcups]

a July rec list

I read a truly absurd amount of fanfic in July, and since I’m tracking my fic reading anyway these days, I figured, why not pull up some faves. I’ll do my best to tag authors when and where I can! I’ll throw some commentary in there to talk about why I like some of them, but rest assure this is a rec list and I think every one of them has something to love. 

Hockey RPF

In the scrawl of the ringside choir E, 37k, Hockey RPF | @goodnightpuckbunny Sid/Geno

“Geno, this is Sid Crosby,” Kris says, sitting back down. The kid towers over both of them, but seems small in the office. “You need a coach, so he’s gonna help you out.” He looks Sid over, eyes scanning like he’s looking for weaknesses, faults in his form. Sid has plenty, but he’s not fighting anymore. He doesn’t bother mirroring the gesture. He can guess without looking. “He old,” Geno eventually decrees. 

Interview with the Vampire

The Vampire Eric

E | 4k | falsescience (@theburialofstrawberries) Eric Bogosian/Jam Reiderson, Jam Reiderson

Oh ho, Eric thinks to himself, and then, aloud, because it’s just too delicious, and wouldn’t Rolin be ashamed, and a little pissed: “Oh ho!” He feels zapped alive: young, powerful, god-like. Jacob starts giggling immediately. “Did you just say ‘oh ho’?” “Or maybe aspen. What do you think, Eric?” “Not a damn clue,” says Eric, with a broad grin. “You look very satisfied. He looks very satisfied, doesn’t he?” Jacob smiles at Sam over his hitched shoulder. “Hm,” says Sam. “I think we play it safe, and go with red maple.” Yeah, Eric is certain: Jacob and Sam aren’t fucking. But they’d like to be.

First of all, I am RPF’ing these people real hard in some private chats. But largely, I like the characterization happening here, and the little turn of understanding that happens in the last third of the fic. 

reformation

E | 44k | verseau (@downstairsbar) Lestat/Louis

we're gonna heal. we're gonna start again. you've brought the orchestra, synchronized swimmers. // It makes him speechless sometimes, how much he loves Lestat. He thought for years, a decade, that it was sickness. It’s not. It’s not. Even when Louis hated Lestat, nothing was more certain than that he loved him.

There’s some great, great plotting and characterization here but/also I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve read a fic and known immediately that the author is Black. That’s obviously not a requirement of the fic I write but it's nice to have Southern Black characters really sound like people I’ve known/grown up around etc. 

let’s keep this off the record

E | 1.4k | anonymous

Louis/Santiago (sort of)

There would be no second chances for the Englishman, no opportunity for him to crawl out of some dump and seek revenge. Louis would make sure of that.

Honestly, I think it's great that fandom has a long and storied history of skullfucking. I think it's fun that weird shit like that still happens around here.

Maman

T | 2k | anonymous Claudia/Madeline, Louis/Lestat

Madeleine meets in the in-laws. Particularly one of them.

transpires

M-E | 5.8k total | familiar (@bigvampo or @camilliar? sekrit you've got so many blogs) Louis/Lestat

I mean, sekrit is just a fucking stellar writer. sekrit’s got a way of telling so much —  about a character, their mental state, the world their in —  in just a few razor sharp details. also these fics are so funny and the characterizations of Louis and Lestat feel like natural progressions from what we’ve seen in canon both in how much they love each other and how terrible they are (to each other and in general)

Harry Potter

Right. I think I’ve always been pretty upfront about my continued reading of Harry Potter fanfiction, but in case it's somehow necessary to say, please do not come to my inbox talking about JK Rowling. I don’t think about that woman and I’m very clear about what she thinks about me. 

Those Three Curses

E | 6k total | @dodgerkedavra Draco/Harry

Obviously I had a bit of a fucking dodgerkedavra moment here, but these blew me away. So much story telling in such little space. 

Former Things Come to Mind

E | 64k | dodgerkedavra

Harry Potter has had a headache for seven and a half years.

In the Presence of My Enemy E | 41k | dodgerkedavra Draco/Harry

All Harry knows is that Sectumsempra is for enemies. He doesn’t know that it will bind him to Draco Malfoy, for better or worse, ‘til death do them part.

Tiny Home

E | 30k | @wolfpants Draco/Harry/Ron

Harry and Ron left the Aurors years ago to travel the world and make up for lost time. When they finally decide to settle roots back in England, together, building a tiny home in the Lake District by hand seems like the perfect plan. What they don't realise is that Draco Malfoy already lives on the plot of land that they choose to build on. A story about years of feelings, about weaving lives in and around each other, and about finding a place safe enough to call home.

I really feel like there’s been an explosion of excellent Draco/Harry/Ron all of a sudden. One of my qualms with a lot of polyship fics is that it's very uhhh “we must do everything together” and I really love that this fic breaks that down and allows everyone to have histories and experiences together as dyads and all together. 

In Our Blood

E | 37k | secretsalex Draco/Harry

Draco is an accomplished pure-blood curse breaker, and Harry is tasked with accompanying him on his latest job—cleaning up the Van Boer mansion, which has been under a devastating fertility curse for seven generations.

I’m not even going to bullshit y’all. This fic reminded me why I love mpreg. Excellent use of body horror, body dread, suspense, all these things. Also, an mpreg fic that remembers abortion is a thing. Amazing!

Probationary Action

E | 63k | @toomuchplor Draco/Harry

As part of the terms of the probationary contract, DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY shall submit for inspection his WAND on the last day of every month, such inspection to be carried out by a duly registered and fully qualified AUROR in the employ of the MINISTRY OF MAGIC, and such inspection to include a PRIORI INCANTATEM spell to ensure that no PROHIBITED MAGICS as heretofore described have been practised by the aforementioned probationer.

I’ve been obsessed with toomuchplor since Inception and this fic reminded me why. I don’t love Auror!Harry fic (truly, just so much unchecked, delighted writing about police brutality) but I do like any fic where Harry starts to wake up to the fact that maybe just because they’re “the good guys”, not every choice made by the Aurors/Wizarding Gov’t in general is right. Also, I appreciate the expansion on the idea of sex charms!

Embers

E | 41k | @shiftylinguini Draco/Harry

Werewolf Alphas aren't meant to be alone, or to suppress their ruts indefinitely like Draco has been since he was bitten eight years ago. He needs company, companionship, to knot ― he needs an Omega Heat Companion. At least, that’s what the Healers say, and even Draco can admit contacting the person they’ve referred him to might be nice. Of course it turns out to be bloody Potter.

idk man, I like a fic that treats sex work like it's just a job. Worthy of respect, full of technical expertise, etc. 

--

Both of these next fics came from @hd-wireless which has been, pound for pound, one of the best fests I've ever witness and is a testament to how important having multiple fic fests in a fandom can be! so much good shit to read!

The most he’s ever said

E | 16k | anonymous Draco/Harry

It takes them twenty years.

Two Houses

E | 11k | anonymous Draco/Harry

Two households, both alike in... meddling Floo connections, apparently? Draco Malfoy is a highly professional and well-respected Ministry official, with a demanding schedule, a loving son, and—through no fault of his own��a faulty Floo connection that keeps regurgitating the Minister for Magic through his fireplace.

I really enjoy that there's been more of a trend of writing about these two as older people and fleshing out the characterization of their kids.

[meyhew]

.

[absoloutenonsense]

sunday snippet

Thank you @disgruntledkittenface and @wadey-wilson for tagging me! I have not been doing a lot of my own writing over the last month, so here’s something I’ve been going back and forth on sharing for a while. 

It takes place before the start of my vampire au But If This Ends, and contains spoilers. If you haven’t read it and don’t want the plot to be spoiled, I would skip over reading this! 

*

Two vodka sodas, one gin and tonic, two lagers, one ale, one stout, seven Washington Apple shots. 

It’s a busy night at the bar -- the busiest Harry’s had since he started working here a couple of weeks ago. Jade has been truly wonderful about it, especially seeing as Harry just sort of showed up randomly and asked to see what the whole bar business was about. She’d asked quite a few times why now, and Harry didn’t really have a good answer, other than he’d had the idea take over his mind for the last five years or so and he decided it was time to dive in. 

It’s been hundreds of years since Harry worked in a bar, so he’s a bit rusty, but he finds nothing’s really changed about the job. Make drinks, take money, banter with customers… it’s all stuff he’s good at. He just wasn’t totally sure about the owning portion of it. He’s got various properties around the world (houses and buildings for rent, mostly) but from what he’s heard from Jade, this kind of business is much more hands-on. It might be good for a change of pace. 

“There you are,” Harry says to the group in front of him, placing the last of the seven shots down. 

“Can we open a tab?” one of the blokes says to him, holding his card out like he’s bored already. 

Harry tries not to let the annoyance show on his face as he takes it. “Sure. I’ll keep the card and run it when you’re ready to wrap up.”

The bloke nods, but Harry catches him rolling his eyes as he turns around. He wishes he could do the same, but instead he goes up to Jade at the POS. 

“What’s our policy on eating customers who are rude?” he asks. 

Jade laughs and finishes adding the drinks to the tab open on the screen. “Zero tolerance on eating customers.”

“Even if I Charm them after?”

“Even then.”

“Rats,” Harry says, snapping his fingers. 

She laughs again and pats him on the shoulder. “Just becomes a part of the gig. You’ll get used to it. Luckily, the arseholes are few and far between here.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” he says, swiping the card before starting to add the drinks he made to the new tab. 

A shiver runs up his spine all of a sudden and everything goes a bit fuzzy as clicks the button for the ale. Shaking himself out of it, he is able to zone back in and look for the shots on the screen. 

“Louis!” he hears Jade say behind him. “How were your holidays?”

“Brilliant, and over much too quickly,” a light, musical voice says. It’s thickly accented and playful. Another shiver up Harry’s back. He pauses, staring at the screen. The voice continues, “I missed you terribly, of course.”

“You’re a liar,” Jade says. “You didn’t miss me one bit.”

“Missed you once the plane landed again,” he laughs. 

Harry wants to turn around. Desperately, he wants to turn around, to check if it’s… but what if it’s not?

“What’re you having?”

“Got anything new since I was in last?”

“Got a raspberry ale on draft. Kind of like a sour, but not as tart.”

“Perfect, I’ll have one of them. I’ve been drinking fruity cocktails for two weeks, that’ll be a nice transition.”

“You got it. H, could you ring up an ale under Zayn and Liam’s tab?”

Without actually deciding to do it, Harry’s head turns, eyes skimming right past Jade until they land on an absolutely stunning shade of blue. 

He’s got brown hair swept across his forehead and scruff covering his sharp jawline. The skin is tanned a beautiful golden shade, giving him a glow and highlighting his defined cheekbones. As soon as they make eye-contact, he smiles wider, crinkles appearing next to his blue eyes as he looks Harry up and down. Harry is immediately hooked into him. 

His sunshine in front of him again, giving off waves and waves of playfulness and curiosity and fun. Harry feels his whole body turn as he smiles back. It hurt so much to say goodbye to Maggie, to have his sunshine here in front of him again after so long… nearly thirty years, he realizes. 

“Harry?” Jade asks, pulling him out of his reverie. 

“Huh?” he hums. After another moment he looks at her, with her raised eyebrow and amused smile. He looks down to her hand, holding the ale. Ale. Right, his job. Adding the beer to the tab. “Sorry, yes. Adding that to a tab.”

“Zayn and Liam’s tab,” she confirms, eyes lit up like this is the funniest thing she’s seen all week. Oh boy. 

“Yes,” Harry says nodding. He looks at his sunshine again before tearing his eyes away back to the screen. 

“Thanks Jade,” he says. 

Harry closes his eyes and takes a few moments to breathe. When he opens them, he finishes adding the drinks to the original tab he created, and then adds the raspberry ale to Zayn and Liam’s tab. 

“His name is Louis,” Jade says, suddenly beside him. 

“Huh?”

“Come off it.” She pushes at his shoulder lightly. “You have that same dopey look on your face as you did that one time I saw you with Elijah.” 

Fuck is it that obvious? Harry supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. He could never keep his cool when it comes to his loves.

“He’s gorgeous, isn’t he?” she continues. “He’s an editor for a food magazine. Been coming here for about ten years now.”

“That’s… um, thank you,” Harry interrupts her. He doesn’t want to be told by anyone but him though. He wants to learn everything he can on his own, savour those moments between them, be able to fall in love the way they usually do. Well, Harry is definitely already in love, but that’s hardly the point. 

“Alright, alright,” Jade says, throwing her hands up. “I’ll leave you to it however you want. Or don’t want.”

Oh, no, Harry definitely wants. His eyes automatically drift around the room until he lands on him. Louis. He’s just now sitting down in the last booth at the end of the room. He tips his head back and laughs at something someone’s said. Harry’s hook lets him hear his voice immediately, like he’s in front of him and not all the way across the room.

“Fucking wankers, leave me be, I only just got back,” he says. 

Others are speaking, but Harry’s so enraptured by Louis that he can’t concentrate long enough to tune into what they’re saying.

“Hm?” he asks. And then he’s turning around, making eye-contact with Harry. He smirks immediately. 

Harry turns away abruptly at being caught. Fuck, that’s not a good first impression, is it?

“Yeah, he’s hot. What’s his deal then?”

There are people waiting to order drinks, but Harry’s not in the right mind to make anything right now. He ducks down and pretends to be looking for something in one of the refrigerators. 

“Ah, I see,” Louis says, voice a bit wary then. 

What is there to see, though? What did they say? Harry scolds himself for not being prepared, even if there was no real way to prepare. 

“Bet I could get him. Tonight even.” A pause. He laughs. “Well yeah, I’m just back from holidays. Still riding that high, aren’t I?” Another pause. “Don’t be such a twat. Watch and learn, boys.”

There’s no more from him then, but the energy is determined and wanting. Harry waits. And waits. And waits--

“Hi,” Louis says. Harry jerks back, catching the top of his head on the bottom lip of the bar as he stands. “Woah, there.” Harry curses and tries to reorient himself quickly as Louis looks on at him, concerned. “You okay?”

“Yep, yes, yeah, I’m fine. Um. Sorry. What, uh, what can I get for you?”

Louis smirks at him, watching Harry rub at the spot he hit before pulling his hand down. “Was hoping you could make some shots for me and my mates.”

“Yes, yeah of course. What would you like?”

Louis bites his lip and looks up from his lashes. Harry feels enraptured by the way the light seems to catch his face seamlessly no matter how he tilts his head. 

“Something new. Something fun,” he says. “Been on my hols and I’m not quite ready to leave that.”

Harry nods, looking down at the way his bottom lip shines for a quarter of a second before looking back to his eyes. “Lemon drops?” he offers. 

Louis shakes his head slowly, eyes bright. “I want something a little more. Something I can feel on my tongue. Something I can savour.”

Harry swallows. “Jager bomb?”

“Mmm,” he hums, thinking. “That certainly would give me a mouthful.”

Harry nods dumbly. Fuck, he needs to get himself together. 

“Alright, then, three Jager bombs,” Louis says. 

Harry immediately starts grabbing the special cups for those shots. He finishes pouring the last of the Red Bull. “Anything else?”

“Yeah, your number, if you don’t mind.”

He takes a deep breath in. “My number?”

Louis nods. “Yeah. I feel like you’ve got a few more suggestions on other things I might like. Not sure we could cover all of them here at the bar.”

His number. Yes, a thousand percent yes. This is the absolute fastest any of his loves have shown direct interest in him, and Harry’s not about to waste even a moment of not being together if Louis doesn’t want to wait. 

“H,” Jade calls out. “We need some help here.” He looks over his shoulder to see a buildup of people waiting to order drinks. 

Right, his fucking job. His job that he got because something was telling him to come here. Someone. God he’s wasted so much of his own time. 

“Sorry,” he calls out. He turns back to Louis, who’s looking him up and down again. “How about I give you my number a bit later? I’ve just got to--”

“Of course,” Louis says, an easy smile on his face. He picks up the shots and turns so he’s looking at Harry over his shoulder. “Come find me when you’re ready.”

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics with everyone’s favorite trope - sharing a bed! We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

2) Been Gone Way Too Long | Explicit | 8836 words

“This can’t be happening,” Louis says, banging his hand against the window. “This seriously can’t be happening right now.”

Things like this only happen in the movies. Things like this don’t happen in real life. There’s no way that he’s seriously been snowed in. There’s no way that the heating is broken. There’s no way that it’s going to take upwards of twenty-four hours and probably a lot longer for the storm to break and someone to come and rescue them.

“Just sit down, Louis,” Harry sighs from somewhere behind him. He sounds miserable, like he’s already feeling the cold.

Louis whirls around and points a finger at him. “Did you plan this?” he demands a little hysterically. He regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth, but he thinks he’s got a valid point. It’s not like this storm just came out of nowhere - it has to have been on the news for a couple of days, at least. Plenty of time for Harry to have canceled this excursion.

3) I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound | Explicit | 10452 words

Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible.

4) Enjoy The Ride | Not Rated | 11103 words

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

5) Cuffed | Not Rated | 15254 words

What would you do if you were handcuffed to your enemy for 48 hours?

6) Up For It | Explicit | 18223 words

The one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.

7) Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) | Not Rated | 18417 words | Sequel

Note: This fic has no smut, but it has omega Louis. The sequel has smut.

The one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

8) The Aurora Zone | Explicit | 19633 words

The one where Harry is busy crossing off his bucket list while Louis is busy falling for the guy he's supposed to hate.

9) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

10) Etched In Salt (Is A Cathedral Of The World) | Explicit | 24417 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions. It is also locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he's stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

11) Like A Siren In The Night | Explicit | 25868 words

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

12) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28682 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

13) We’re Not Who We Used To Be | Explicit | 30611 words

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit.

14) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

15) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32584 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

16) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

17) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

18) Playing To Win | Explicit | 36732 words

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

19) If I Stay | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

20) The Space Between | Explicit | 39917 words

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

21) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

22) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

23) No Going Back | Explicit | 56102 words

Sales reps Harry and Louis are bored with their jobs and their lives. After meeting at a conference in Cardiff they hook up, have a few too many drinks, and jokingly apply to become remote lighthouse keepers. Six months, just the two of them, looking after the southernmost lighthouse off the bottom of Australia. It’s not like their applications will be accepted. Right?

This is the story of how one choice - a left instead of a right, a go instead of a stop, a yes instead of a no - can change the future forever and that sometimes, taking that leap of faith, is worth the risk.

24) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

25) Swallow The Knife | Explicit | 76158 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

26) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

27) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

28) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Mature | 102528 words

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[larryfanfiction]

Disney AU

🌹 Elysian by wonderlou (81k) Beauty and the Beast AU

“What could be it, Niall?” Harry asks gently with a sigh. He slouches down further into his chair, crossing his arms lazily across his chest. He is bored. He has been bored for five years straight, but even more so now that his one interest has shut himself out entirely. Harry had not even heard from Louis, not since last night, not since he had gotten on his nerves so much that he was torn between knocking him out and smiling in surrender to the slight awe he felt. Louis is opinionated like no one he’s ever seen, but his voice is honeyed; high-pitched and indignant. Harry is nothing short of entranced.

Or, Harry is running out of time to fall in love, but with Louis, it seems as if there’s all the time in the world.

🧜🏻‍♂️ The Importance of Body Language by zimriya (11k) The Little Mermaid AU

Harry really has no idea how he’s going to get out of this one. After the little incident with the fishing wire, he’d been told that under no circumstances was he to visit the surface of the water, as he is the heir to the throne and his safety is essential to the continued existence of their underwater society. Or something. Harry loves his mum, but there’s really only so much talk of royal duty a prince can take before he does something drastic. Like purposefully disobey her strict instructions to stay under the sea for the rest of his natural life, and instead swim too close to a human ship and get himself spotted by none other than the unfairly attractive Prince Louis Tomlinson, for example.

Needless to say, Harry is fucked.

🧜🏻‍♂️ Hey baby won't you look my way by larrysbitchx (10k) The Little Mermaid AU

Louis want’s a prince charming. Harry might just be him. But what happens when a human and a merman fall in love?

🐶🐱 We Could Live This Life Forever by dearmrsawyer (31k) Lady and the Tramp AU

When Harry’s adoptive parents bring home a brand new baby of their own, he fears they won’t want him anymore.

A Lady and the Tramp AU where everyone’s human

⚓️ Drowning In Your Eyes by smittenwithlouis (45k) Pirates of the Caribbean AU

“Capt’n Styles, are you certain of this? They be attracted to man-made light.” “What is? Sharks?” The young blonde asks in terror. “Worse than sharks, lad. There’ll be flesh eating mermaids upon us in minutes, mark my words!” Paul huffs as he continues to wave the bright lantern in front of him, “And Captain Styles here, has us bait!” Or: The Pirates of the Caribbean inspired au where Harry is a fierce pirate who holds the heart of a beautiful merman.

👑 Because You Saw Me When I Was Invisible by supernope (32k) Princess Diaries AU

A (not so) loosely-based Princess Diaries AU, in which Harry finds out he’s the heir to the throne of a country he’s never even heard of.

🏹 Not in Nottingham by UserFromPluto (11k) Robin Hood AU

“Love him?” The prince repeated, “and does this prisoner return your love?” Harry did not answer but stood looking at Louis, trembling and heaving breaths. Louis met his gaze, hair falling over his eyes, arms gripped roughly by two guards. “Harry,” he said simply, “I love you more than life itself.”

(Robin Hood au in which Harry and Niall steal the show, Liam’s big heart gets him in trouble, and Zayn and Louis really should stop being arrow magnets)

👠 a dream is a wish your heart makes by theneverending (22k) Cinderella AU

Fairytale retelling of Cinderella, where Harry is a servant boy who’s too kind, Louis is a prince in an arranged marriage, Liam is Harry’s step brother, and Niall is Louis’ dutiful grand duke.

👠 your rainbow will come smiling through by hazkaban (17k) Cinderella Story AU

when harry isn’t working at his stepfather’s cafe, he’s trying to make swim captain and trying to finish all his coursework on time. when he’s not doing any of those things, he’s talking to the boy he met on the oxford hopefuls subreddit. when they decide to meet, he’s elated. he finally gets the chance to meet the boy he’s been crushing on! when the day comes to meet his prince, he learns that his online crush is none other than louis tomlinson, captain of the football team and friend of his terrible stepbrothers. now harry has to decide whether telling louis the truth is the right choice or if it’s better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

🦎 long hair don't care by ballsdeepinjesus (20k) Tangled AU

He catches his breath and stands, brushing dirt off of his breeches when he hears a scared peep behind him. Louis spins around, startled, and is greeted by the sight of an extremely pale boy with extremely luscious dark brown curls. His hand starts to reach out involuntarily to try and pet his hair, but he stops it quickly and tries to smooth it into a bow. He glances up, fluttering his lashes, and levels the trembling boy with a charming smile.

“Hi,” he drawls. He doesn’t see the frying pan until it’s too late. Everything goes black.

[harry is sheltered and louis is a thief. or, a tangled au.]

🦎  You Were My New Dream by larryshares (48k) Tangled AU

Prince Harry has spent the majority of his life trapped within the castle walls, forced to hide from the kingdom he never asked to be born into. He doesn’t want to be the next King of Eroda, because according to his father, kings don’t wear dresses, paint their nails, or braid flowers into their magical hair. And Harry happens to love those things about himself, almost as much as he thinks he could love the new combat instructor his father has summoned to mold him into a more acceptable man, just in time for his impending coronation.

🧚🏻‍♀️ no place to call home by suspendrs (21k) Peter Pan AU

“What are you smiling about, Harrison,” the boy spits, body language suddenly getting defensive. “I’ll have you know that I’m-”

“Harry,” Harry interrupts, giggling. “My name is Harry. And if you’re not called Peter, then what are you called?”

The boy tilts his chin up slightly, surveying Harry like he’s checking if he’s worthy of knowing something as important as his name. “Well, Herschel, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Louis.”

Or, Louis isn’t Peter Pan and Harry isn’t Wendy and Neverland is nothing like Harry thought it would be, but it’s perfect anyway.

🧚🏻‍♀️ Tell Every Lost Boy (that you're my man) by LittleLostPieces (17k) Peter Pan AU

A modern-day Peter Pan AU, wherein Harry struggles with his overwhelming jealousy when Louis brings a new mate into their makeshift family.

Starring Louis as Peter Pan (obviously), Harry as Tinker Bell, the others as the Lost Boys, and Greg as Wendy

🧚🏻‍♀️ faith, trust and pixie dust (and a little bit of something else too) Peter Pan AU

“Are you seriously apologizing for taking out a bullet that was lodged in my shoulder and saving my life?” he asks slowly. “Y—yes?” the boy looks unsure of himself now.

“Marry me—”

For once, the boy isn’t the only one blushing and Louis silently curses Earthen terminology for making its way into his vocabulary.

Taking a deep breath to regain his composure, he coughs out, “I mean thanks. That was very nice of you…?”

“Harry,” the boy fills in quietly, flashing Louis a tentative smile. Louis thinks it suits him well and he mouths the name to himself, liking the way it rolls off his tongue. He watches as Harry hesitates before asking his own question, albeit doubtfully.

“And you’re—you’re P—Peter Pan, right?”

Or, the one in which Louis is a punk Peter Pan and Harry is an insecure flower child.

❄️ The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway by timefornothing (17k) Frozen AU

“Lou! Give me my glove!” Louis held it back away from him, blue eyes glittering with desperation. “No, Zayn. Please, I can’t live like this anymore! We can’t keep the entire world shut out! I can’t live like this!” His words rung out shrilly, making the crowd go silent. Zayn stared at Louis, eyes wide with unimaginable pain. Finally, he swallowed hard, whispering quietly, “Then leave.” He took one more look at Louis before it was too much, then he turned away, stalking towards the back of the room. or the one where One Direction are the characters in Frozen. Starring Louis as Anna, Zayn as Elsa, Harry as Kristoff, Niall as Olaf, and Liam as that stone troll that always knows what to do.

♣️♟ like cabbages and kings by you_explode (60k) Alice in Wonderland AU

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

🌿 Let's Fall in Love in a Place You Want to Stay by embro (134k) Tarzan AU

A George of the Jungle / Tarzan AU where Louis is a model who meets Wild Man Harry in the Congo. He was raised by apes and barely speaks a word of English and turns Louis' life upside down.

🗡 Dirty secret by iilarryii (122k) Mulan AU

"Dad, you can't go!" Louis yells to his father as he watches him pull out his sword.

"Louis, you know that I have to. It's the pack leaders orders," Dan says calmly. "I need you to promise me that you'll take care of the family if I die."

"So what? You'll just give up?"

"Of course not. I am just willing to die for my family's safety."

"So am I."

The Zoely pack is attacked by rogue alphas and the pack leader orders all alphas over the age of eighteen to protect their pack. Dan Deakin is one of the strongest alphas in the pack, but there is one problem. He has a wife and six kids to feed and look after. Louis is the oldest child and the one who wants to protect their family.

Or a Mulan AU where Louis is an omega who takes his father's place in the war.

📕 You Bring Me Home by reminiscingintherain (22k) Saving Mr. Banks AU

"Are you willing to fly to LA to meet with Tomlinson?" "I suppose I don't really have much of a choice, do I?" Harry grumped. "I'm assuming he's paying?" "Business class all the way," Liam nodded. "And he's kindly arranged for me to accompany you. So at least you're not going to be on your own." "Please do tell how that's a good thing."

Or, the one where Louis wants to turn Harry's book into a film, and Harry's very picky about what happens.

[Saving Mr Banks AU]

☂ Harry Poppins by jacaranda_bloom (32k) Mary Poppins AU

When Louis’ best friends pass away he finds himself with an instant family. Maddie and Thomas are wonderful children but take an immediate dislike to every nanny that sets foot inside their house. After nanny number six is summarily dismissed Louis is at his wit’s end, that is until an unusual man arrives on their doorstep. Harry Styles is like nothing any of them have ever encountered before, and perhaps, exactly what they’ve been looking for all along.

��� It's the Climb by lululawrence (25k) Hannah Montana AU

Louis stretched out his back and turned around, startled to see the most beautiful man he’d ever encountered in his life riding towards him on a horse.

He had to still be asleep. This was one of those super weird dreams people had where the knight in shining armor (or in this case, red sleeveless flannel) literally rode up to them calling their name. - The Hannah Montana AU where Louis is a world famous punk rock singer with a stage name of William and Jay drags him back to Tennessee for the summer. In her attempt for Louis to get back to his roots, he just so happens to reconnect with Harry, and things never go quite as Louis expects them to.

🎬 Supposed to Be by kikikryslee (26k) Geek Charming AU

“I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.” “Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked. Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. — Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

🐮  Love and Other Antidotes by haztobegood (16k) Emperor's New Groove AU

Arrogant pop star Harry Styles is transformed into a cow by his bandmate Amy Z after a heated argument. Left in the back of a truck, Harry finds himself at a rural farm hours away from his band. Harry has three days to make it back to London and turn back into a human before his next show. His only chance to reclaim his glamorous life rests with a kind farmer named Louis. They must work together to find the antidote before Amy Z finishes him off and takes over the band.

⚽️ The Game Plan by Justalittlelouislove (5k) Game Plan AU

Louis's life is exactly how he likes it: all about him. When it suddenly gets turned on its head and one little lady makes a huge impact, will he learn to handle it or run for the hills?

🎈 Up by Thingssicant (26k) Up! AU

Louis Tomlinson thought he had everything he wanted. He had a wife and daughter, a good job, a house with a white picket fence, and even a few pets along the way

It’s only when he turned 71 that a load of balloons and poorly timed knock on the door changed his life forever

🏰  Teacups by sincehewaseighteen (25k) Disneyland AU

"Looks like your attraction is not any body’s cup of tea today,” he puns cheekily. Harry rolls his eyes and lifts the box onto the counter easily, dusting his hands off without a blink of an eye to Louis. “I think it might be your costume.”

“Alright, babe, you listen here.” Harry comes forward and makes sure he’s close to Louis’ ear. Louis swallows carefully when Harry speaks. “Cut this shit out, you’re no Peter Pan in my eyes. You’re a fucking twit. I know what you’re like, and that’s all you need to worry about.”

or the au where louis works as peter pan at paris’ eurodisney while harry’s the mad-hatter who works at the teacup ride, and just so happens to be the annoyingly gorgeous man louis is in love with.

🏰  Unbelievable sights, indescribable feelings by serenityandtea (8k) Disneyland AU

Louis and Harry spend a pre-Christmas weekend at Disneyland Paris with their three kids. Lots of fluff, rides and a meeting with Santa.

Everyone says that Disneyland is utter magic.

Louis definitely thinks so when he catches the look on his husband’s face; Harry looks completely ecstatic. Never mind their three children; Louis would go through all this hassle again just to have his husband beam at everything around him once more.

🏰  Acorns and Thimbles by izetta (12k) Disneyland AU

There is a startling amount of Disney films where the couple falls in love after just one day. Louis isn't entirely too convinced of how realistic that is, but he thinks he is starting to understand how they all felt.

Or an AU where Louis is Peter Pan at Disney World and Harry is a park guest.

🏰  Magic by dolce_piccante (3k) Disneyland AU

AU. Girl!Direction. Harry and Louis go to Disney for a wonderful holiday filled with familiar characters, fireworks, and some Magic Kingdom magic.

🏰  Faith and Trust and Pixie Dust by kotabear24 (10k) Disneyland AU

Harry Styles and his son, Lucas, are spending four days at Disneyland for Lucas' sixth birthday. Louis Tomlinson is Peter Pan there, and takes a shine to both the boys. He gives them tickets to a Peter Pan show that night, and spends the evening with the two before spending the night with Harry. Lucas and Harry both find themselves getting attachd to Louis, and Louis finds the same himself.

🏰  Once Upon a Dream by objectlesson (26k) Disneyland AU

“M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”

Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say noto Louis.

Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

🏰  The Way You Make Me Feel by MiniMangaFan (6k) Disneyland AU

“You couldn’t last a damn day without trying to sleep with me.”

“I can last a whole fucking week,” Harry says, rising to Louis’ challenge.

“Wanna make a bet on that, Styles?”

“You’re on,” Harry grins.

Or, Disney AU where Louis and Harry try not to fuck in public places.

_____________________

Deleted fics we have a copy of (just send us an ask):

⚪️ Bittersweet and Strange by Keep_Calm_And_Read_Fic Beauty and the Beast AU

He agreed to stay so his sister could go free, but he never signed up for this. Beauty and the Beast AU in which Harry is taken prisoner in King Louis 'The Beast' Tomlinson's castle, Master Liam Payne may or may not be a torture specialist, Master Zayn Malik may or may not be the Master of War, and no one will tell him what the hell Niall does around here. Basically, Harry hates his enemy with a passion. Then he kind of has a passion for hisenemy. Then he wonders if he and Louis are enemies at all.

⚪️ The Dreams That You Wish by Keep_Calm_And_Read_Fic Cinderella AU

Cinderella/Ever After AU in which Louis is the world’s sassiest servant, Harry is a closeted prince with a deadline, Zayn is Harry’s chaperone, Liam is given the unenviable task of trying to distract Zayn long enough that his sister, Druscilla, can seduce Prince Harry (hint: doomed to failure) and Niall is the worlds most inappropriate fairy godfather. Destiny, romance, mistaken identity, sexcapades and oblivious!everybody abound in this gross bastardization of one of my all time favourite fairy tales.

More Masterposts

[bopbopstyles]

harry invites y/n to a grab a date or t shirt dance 😌

CHAMPAGNE SHACKLES

k so idk if my greek culture was weird but we didn’t have that so i decided to turn this into champagne shackles because we all know these hoes would win that and use the shackles for other.....activities. (s/o to @sweetcreatureinthedark for being my advisor on this concept)

READ ELEVATED SURFACES HERE, which this is connected to (masterlist)

“Why can’t you guys get actually good champagne?” You asked, leaning against the wall of the basement. 

Your wrist was shackled to Harry’s, and his other hand was wrapped around an almost empty champagne bottle. Tia Tamera was playing in the background, but you couldn’t dance the way you wanted, so you were just leaning against the wall and letting Harry stand extremely close to you instead. 

Harry licked his lips, the sweet tang of the champagne against his tongue, before leaning into your ear. “Didn’t anyone tell you? We’re cheap as fuck since we have to throw all the parties.”

“Still could’ve gotten us a good bottle at least,” you answer, turning your head enough to nip at his earlobe. 

He yelped and you chuckled against his skin. “Fuckin’ menace. C’mon, help me finish this bottle, so I can get these cuffs off and properly dance with you.”

“We can dance,” you answered. “I might not be able to drop to the ground, but doesn’t mean I can’t make you horny on the dance floor.”

Harry scoffed as you finished your words and took the bottle of champagne, raising it to your lips and taking a long sip. “I don’t get horny. Makes me sound like a twelve year old kid.”

“Harry you get hard the second I touch your dick with literally any part of my body.”

He huffed and pulls away, your wrists clinking in the handcuffs. “Well, c’mon then.” 

You grinned, taking another sip as he pulls you to the dance floor, letting the music flow between you. With the bottle in your hand, the champagne long since room temperature, you pressed your back to his chest and leaned your head against his chest. Harry’s free hand wrapped around your hip and held you close, your ass brushing over his dick as you swayed your hips, the lyrics leaving your mouth with ease. 

The music changed to The Weekend by Louis the Child and you smiled, the song a memory of freshman year that you loved. “Who the fuck made this playlist?” Harry mumbled in your ear, and you laughed because of course he got pissy about this song. 

“You’re the one who leaves it all up to the pledges and the social chair,” you replied and he rolled his eyes in the dimly lit room. Before he could respond, you rolled your hips into his and took another long sip of the champagne, the sweet alcohol swirling in your mouth. 

“Give that here,” Harry said, grabbing at the bottle. “You’re terrible at sharing.”

“It’s champagne, of course I’m terrible at sharing.” He took a long sip and you watched his Adam’s apple bobbed, trying to ignore the fire licking through your body. You could feel the buttons of his sheer button down on your back, pressing into the thin material of your dress that you’d put on for the party. It was supposed to be classy, despite the fact that it was in their house, but you didn’t care because it meant you got to see Harry in a barely buttoned shirt, tattoos on full display. 

It was fucking hot. “How much is left?” You asked, grinding into him until you felt him buck against you. 

“Not much. Want the last of it?” He asked, pushing it into your hands when you nodded. You tipped your head back and chugged the rest of it, Harry grinding against you as you did. When you pulled it away from your lips, he spun you around. “Thank god. Bout to fuckin’ kill one of the guys if I don’t get these cuffs off of you.”

Before he can begin to walk out of the basement, you lean into him. “I had some ideas for them.”

His eyes widen and look down at your face. “Oh? Want to expand on that?”

You smiled, feeling him get even harder against you. “I want to see what you’re like when you can’t touch me,” you told him, voice low in his ear. “When your hands are cuffed to your headboard.”

Harry’s tongue ran over his lip as he considered your words. “I was more thinking of you cuffed to my headboard.”

You frowned. “But that’s so boring.”

He chuckled. “Only you would call that boring.” The music changed again, and Harry’s arm wrapped around your waist, lips dancing up your shoulder. “You want to be in charge tonight, babe?” You nodded, and he muttered a fuck under his breath before pulling away. “Fine.”

That was when you knew you had him in the palm of your hand. 

You pushed him into his room, the party downstairs long forgotten as you ripped each other’s clothes off. You nibbled kisses across Harry’s chest as you. unbuttoned the shirt, pushing it off his shoulders as he tugged down the straps of your dress, letting it fall to the ground as you stepped out of it. You kicked off your sneakers, happy you had decided against heels because you actually had some common sense, unlike the freshman and sophomores downstairs in heels with the pledges in suits. 

The cuff bounced on the duvet as Harry laid down, your body surrounding him as you leaned over him. You grabbed the metal, unlocking them and putting the key on the bedside table, before shifting over him. “Don’t want to go too tight,” you, inching up his bare chest in nothing but your underwear so you could fasten his wrists to his headboard. 

“I’ll be fine,” he told you, lifting his arms, pliant under you from the moment he saw your pink lace lingerie. “Just do it, hmm? Miss your pussy.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you told him, pushing at his chest when he tried to suck on your inner thigh. He chuckled, but dropped his head, letting you do as you pleased. You took his hands in yours and clicked on cuff around one wrist, wrapping the free cuff around the headboard before clicking it around his other wrist. You surveyed your work, tugging on his hands a bit, before settling back. “Can you get out of it?”

“I’m strong but not fuckin’ Superman.” You rolled your eyes and moved down his body, ignoring his whines when you avoided his lips. Instead, you sucked on his nipples, loving how his body keened into yours, your name falling from his mouth in a moan. You tugged off his pants and briefs, leaving him bare below you, and smiled when he bucked into the air, red and swollen. 

“Horny?” You taunted, pressing your cheek to his pelvis, just inches from his dick. 

“Y/N...” 

You were enjoyed taunting him, but not that much. So you licked the palm of your hand, letting spit fall to the skin, and then wrapped your fingers around him. You didn’t waste time, pumping him up and down in a quick fashion, licking over his tip every once and a while just to drive him a bit crazy. His eyes were on your body, watching your breasts rise and fall as you moved over him,  glazed over from the alcohol and desire. “Feel good?” 

“Very,” he replied, breathless. You sucked hard on his tip, cheeks hollowing and he bucked up, something you didn’t mind--kind of liked, actually. Seeming him unravel under you. “Fuck, want to touch you,” he mumbled. 

You sat up, pumping him slower as you adjusted. “Did you get more condoms?”

“Yeah, in the second drawer,” he said, a small whine leaving his lips when you lifted away from him. But he shut up the second you were stripping out of your bra and underwear, letting the lace fall to his floor. “I wanted to get you out of that.”

“Next time,” you replied, ripping open the condom and coming back over to him. You straddled his hips, running your fingers down his chest as he panted underneath you. He looked beautiful like this, spread out just for your eyes, wrists fastened to the bed frame, sweaty hair stuck to his forehead and tumbling down his shoulders. He had threatened to cut his hair and you responded by ignoring him for two days, at which point he promised not to touch it, and you weren’t planning to let him. “I kind of like you like this,” you said, tweaking his nipple and giggling when he yelped. 

“Y/N, please.” He bucked his hips against your thigh and you shushed him, shifting so you could roll the condom down his cock. He hissed at your touch and you smiled, loving the sensitivity of his body. Harry was always a bit sensitive, but tonight it seemed to be even more, perhaps from the handcuffs. 

Your knees pressed into his sides as you rose up, brushing his tip against your slit once and again, a whimper leaving your mouth. And then you sunk down on him, taking him fully in one go. It took you a second to adjust, his long and thick cock fitting snugly inside of you and hitting every inch of you perfectly. “Fuck,” you breathed out, digging your nails into him. 

“Tight,” he choked out as you sat there. You could tell it was killing him that he couldn’t set the pace, but you loved it. Then, you started to move, rising up nearly fully before sitting back down on him, the sound of his deep, rasping groans filling your ears. 

“So good,” you said, holding onto his shoulders to gain some leverage. You pressed back into him, swiveling your hips to create more friction, loving the sound of your skin slapping against each other. “Look so good for me, H.”

“Yeah?” He smirked up at you, face contorting when you squeezed around him. “Going to kill me if you keep doing that.” The cuffs rattled against the bed as you rode him, maintaining a fast pace that had your thighs aching. “Feel like heaven, baby, shit.”

Suddenly, the door swung open and you dropped to Harry’s chest in an instant, trying to hide your body in his. You were literally butt ass naked, the blanket underneath Harry so you had nothing to cover with. Harry’s knees moved immediately, moving up to try and disguise your ass from the view of whoever had busted into his room.

“What the FUCK,” Harry yelled and when you peeked a glance over your shoulder, two of his brothers were standing in the doorway, eyes wide and frozen in place. 

“Are those the handcuffs from downstairs?” One of them had the audacity to ask, and Harry made a frustrated sound you had never heard before. Some mixture of hatred and disdain in his voice. 

“If either of you want to have the ability to have sex ever again, I suggest you get the fuck out.” His hands were forming fists in the cuffs and you were wondering if his wrists were hurting. The boys, however, didn’t move. “You think I’m fucking joking, but you have three seconds,” Harry said, voice so even that you knew it instilled a deep fear in the boys in the doorway. 

The door slammed immediately and Harry sighed, before looking down to you. “Why do people always just bust open your door?” It had happened before and even though you both locked it, the locks on most of the doors in the house were shit. 

“‘Cause they’re idiots. You okay?”

You nodded. “You’re literally still so hard,” you said, sitting up to your original position so you could survey him. 

He chuckles, before lying his legs down in their original position. “Well it’s not like you stopped squeezing me, so I’m not too sure what you expected.” 

“I was freaked out!” 

Harry just rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, baby. Now c’mon--you want to finish what you started? You aren’t going to get a chance to have me in these again.”

You rolled your lip into your mouth, before scratching down his chest. “You sure about that? I can be pretty convincing.” You squeezed around him for special effects and Harry moaned, low and rough in his throat.

“I take it back, you can do whatever the fuck you want,” he said, breathless. “Just please keep going, Y/N.”

You laughed before resuming your pace, both of you still plenty wet from before. You need him to fall apart just as much as you needed to and when he bucked up into you you gasped, your stomach tightening. Hands turned to fists and your head hung as you struggled to hold yourself together as you fucked him. Harry babbled above you, a combination of your name and moans and broken groans that had your head spinning. Then his feet came to rest on the duvet and thighs pressed against your ass, sensing you were tiring, and started thrusting up into you. You whimpered, falling forward onto his chest and letting him finish you off. You sucked on his skin, creating marks across his tattoos that would be visible under his shirt. 

“Gonna come,” he panted. “You close?”

“Yeah,” you answered, lifting your head to look at him. “Love you in handcuffs, you know.”

He licked into your lips when you kissed him, and the taste of champagne on his tongue mixed with his deep thrusts had you falling apart on top of him, breathy moans that he caught in his mouth. He came not seconds after, the cuffs rattling against the bed as he did, your name an echo in your ears. 

When you had both calmed, you grabbed the key from the table, unlocking the cuffs and letting his red wrists fall to your sides. Immediately, his palms were on you, turning you over so your back was on the duvet cover. 

“What would you say to another bottle of champagne and then another round?” He nibbled on your neck and you arched into him, the feeling of your bare breasts against his chest sending you spinning. 

“Can you find a cold one?”

He pecks your lips softly before rising up, grabbing his clothes from the ground. “I’ll do my best.” He pulled on his shirt and then grimaced. “Get under the covers for me, will you?”

You laughed, but grabbed at the covers, watching Harry walk out of the room, red tinged wrists fading as he shut the door behind him. 

[ciggylungz]

Positive

Blurb night:

1.4k words

(request: imagine you’re married to harry & you’re pregnant and you meet up with the boys and tell them and it’s just all happy and so cute🥺) + request: what about some morning cuddles? or how they communicate to everyone that they’re having a baby? sorry im soft today i need some good fluffs)

(Sorry if you didn’t want them combined they were similar so I thought it might be repetitive if I did them independently)

 -----

Trying to conceive was always a nerve-wracking trial and error process for those participating in the journey, and Harry and Y/n are no exception to those bumps in the road to starting a family.

The couple had waited till their one-year wedding anniversary to start trying for a child, making sure the marriage was going smoothly and both of them were able to devote as much attention to the child if they were to successfully fall pregnant.

The pair decided to both get exams to make sure they were fertile and another to make sure Y/n was healthy enough to carry a pregnancy, both of their results came back perfect for the two of them so you can imagine the confusion and upset they experienced when months went by without a positive pregnancy test. Harry and Y/n have been doing a lot of condoling each other, cooking comfort foods for dinners and taking their vitamins religiously to give themselves some hope, carbs and cuddles to carry them through this journey of bringing a new person into the world.

You’d think trying was the most fun part of making a baby yet months of constant sex did a number on the two. They were losing their libido, tired and sometimes sore from the constant friction on their most sensitive areas but the duo refused to give up.

__

It was a typical Thursday morning, Harry sending off emails while cramming toast into his mouth and Y/n was brushing her teeth, feeling particularly out of it that day. She was tired and sluggish, a bit queasy and just off.

By now taking a pregnancy test was part of her morning routine. She even had a designated cup next to the toilet she used to collect her first morning wee in to dip the tests in, every morning she took one just to see. She was never very good at controlling her curiosity and when it comes to something this life changing, well she just can’t stop herself.

Y/n swears her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she saw the second line, bright and bold perfectly straight next to the control line. It took a few minutes for her brain to truly comprehend the evidence in front of her, there were two lines.

She was pregnant!

After the initial shock started to fade, excitement flooded through her. A shriek of her husbands name rolled through the house prompting him to jump to his feet and rush towards the noise.

“What?! Are you okay?! Are you hurt baby? What happen-“

“Harry I’m pregnant! Look ! it worked! We’re having a baby!” Y/n held the positive test in the hair, thrusting it towards his wide eyes seeing the man shift from panic to being elated.

“Oh my god! We’re having a baby! My dick works!” Harry wrapped his arms around his wife before hoisting her in the air, spinning the both of them around while they cheered and let out happy tears.

That night the pair celebrated with a nice dinner and excitedly calling y/n’s obgyn to set up her first prenatal visit. The pair decided they’d keep their secret till they were in the clear, the first couple weeks of pregnancy are the most high risk time for miscarriage so they didn’t want to get their hopes up and let everyone know till they were sure this baby was going to make it to term.

___

 Y/n was 18 weeks along when the couple decided they were going to announce the news to their friends and family. Harry was giddy, obsessed with his wife’s tummy that was now starting to get a little curve to the lower part of it. He kept ultrasound pictures in his wallet and spend every evening reading baby books and making a list of names for their growing baby.

The first people they decided to tell was of course their mothers and siblings, it was a great experience lots of hugs, happy tears and celebration sweets. Everyone was over the moon, the couple had full hearts and tummy’s when they left Anne’s home. The couple had never felt happier in their lives.

Of course when it came to telling the news to the boys, Harry decided to whip out one of his dad jokes he’d already been hoarding in his mind. His jokes were always terrible, lets face it, but the boys loved to take the piss out of him and found his jokes entertaining now.

So, Harry invited the group over directing Louis to open the oven for him which inside was a bun- yes Y/n had to refrain from cringing at the horrible dad joke but she let him has his fun- and Louis reacted first with a confused glance to Harry. “Mate, ya’ not the best chef but I thought you’d know that cookin’ one thing at a time is a bit wasteful of the gas innit?” the man plucked the bread off the rack, handing it to Harry who was rolling his eyes since the other man didn’t seem to get the implications.

“Lou, what was in the oven?” he decided to throw him a line, the other guys just watching the interaction confused and waiting for Harry to reveal what the hell he was on about. “A roll Harold” Harry then huffed, “No! it’s a bun!”, Niall was now laughing finding the situation at hand seeing Harry getting mad over the guys not having a clue what he was trying to imply.

When the bickering filled the kitchen between the boys Y/n decided to step in- “Alright! Harry I told you the joke was rubbish, guys ‘bun in the oven’- the reference and horrible execution was a reference to me since I’m pregnant.” – only then did it click in all their heads, a chorus of ‘ohhhh’ and then excited congratulations followed. Louis of course took the chance to pick on Harry who gave him the finger before excepting the celebratory hugs and pats on the back, the boys giving Y/n a good cuddle too congratulating her on the pregnancy and telling her how excited they were to be uncles. A few making jokes to Harry about ‘getting it in’ and all that boyish banter.

The pair couldn’t be more thrilled at all the excitement that surrounded the arrival of their first born, Y/n was also happy she wouldn’t have to wear baggy clothes around them anymore either. Sweaters in august was a bit uncomfortable for a pregnant woman with hot flashes.

____

When the 20 week mark came, the couple decided to keep the gender a surprise till birth when offered the anatomy scan. They really didn’t have a preference as long as their bundle of joy was healthy, they were happy.

They had spent the last few weeks painting the nursery a pale yellow, making an accent wall with a neutral colored floral wallpaper, lots of vines and plants on it in a grey and white color theme. The room was fit for whatever gender their baby turned out to be, and it was now being filled with a crib Harry had put together- which he nearly had a breakdown over how many fucking screws and parts it had- and a nice changing table stocked with diapers, wipes and all the baby essentials.  

The little ones closet was organized by size, all hung neatly on hangers and in organized bins as well. A nice rocking chair with a little nursing station was in one of the corners, stocked with burp cloths and a nursing pillow as well as a few jars of nipple balm since breastfeeding can caused chapped skin on the breasts. They had a little dish with pacifiers sitting on the small table next to the chair, picture books and a few nice soft blankets folded on the small shelf below the drawers.

Everything was slowly but surely coming together, and now they couldn’t wait to welcome their baby into the world.

(Tbh idk if I like this one, but I tried my best.)

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[sweetsubharry]

do have any fics where harry is a virgin?

I do! :)

Please remember to stay safe and read the tags!  💖

Give Me Truths by iwillpaintasongforlou

'Just like a little cat,' Louis thought later, as he drifted off to sleep. 'A little kitten with his claws sunk right into me.' It isn’t that terrible of a thought, after all. ............. Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.

Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.

Let's Embrace The Point Of No Return by sweaterpawstyles

Louis was a whole new scale of beautiful, he was richer than Harry could've ever imagined, and he was the most powerful, dominant alpha that Harry had ever come in contact with. The only problem now is that Louis is also Harry's boss.

Louis believed Harry was an alpha, and had no idea about how he had lied about his status just to get an interview with Louis. He was in too deep now and he couldn't look back.

Or

Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.

In All Its Imperfections by BriaMaria 

From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients

Hello!

I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!

Cheers!

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head.

"What happened, mate?" Liam asked.

Harry just pointed to his computer.

Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”

“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”

“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”

Harry nodded.

There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?”

Just Jump by jaerie

Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

knock knock, i love you by beautlouis

“Well,” Louis says, searching for something to relieve this tension. “I think if a bloke gets kicked out of his stats exam for a knock knock joke, he deserves to hear the punchline, yeah?”

“Oh!” Harry says, beaming. “I forgot where we left off, what was it again?” He looks overjoyed to be exchanging a shit joke.

“Ah, you said knock knock, then I said who’s there, and then you said Noah,” Louis supplies helpfully. He hates that he's actually curious about the rest of the joke. “So, Noah who?”

“Oh,” says Harry, in a much different tone, dragging out the syllable. He looks bashful now. Louis cannot keep up with this boy, it's going to kill him. “Right, well.” He shuffles his feet. Fuck, what kind of knock knock joke gets a boy nervous? “Noah a good place we could get something to eat?”

[Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.]

Your Nickel Ain't Worth My Dime by orphan_account

Louis just moved into a house next to Harry, and they have bedroom windows that face each other.

'cause I got me a toy, toy by daddylouist

Harry just wants a dildo. He ends up with much more.

Flames Ignite by xXAyeLouXx

Basically Harry is Louis' princess. 

Just Ask Me To by TellMeThisIsNotLove   

“You’re telling the truth,” Louis whispers.

“Of course I’m telling the truth!” Harry doesn’t even care that he sounds exasperated.

“Oh my god.” Louis grabs the wall behind him as if looking for support. His body slides down against it until he’s sitting crouched on the floor.

He mumbles something but Harry can’t really figure out what it is. He crouches down, and looks desperately at the breaking boy in front of him.

“You’re telling the truth,” Louis whispers. “You were not supposed to–”

“I was not supposed to do what? Tell me please,” Harry urges, taking Louis’ hands gently in his.

Or the X Factor era canon fic where they learn how to be a couple and that not everyone is going to be on their sides especially those with plain white t-shirts and saccharine smiles.

[hlcreators]

AUTHOR REC: 5sexualhomos / @hogwartzlou​

been waiting on this for a while now (21k)

In a world where people get soulmate tattoos of the first words their other half says when they turn 18, things are a little complicated for those who meet before then. Louis and Harry are one of those couples. It takes them a while to figure things out

to tell you the truth... (1.2k)

Louis and Harry discover something strange in the woods, that changes their lives forever.

time to buy and time to lose (25k)

“Harry, it’s time that I told you the family secret,” his dad says with a completely straight face.

“I’m sorry, what?” Harry laughs.

“The family secret. Are you ready, son?” His dad moves to stand behind the recliner, resting both of his hands on it.

“I suppose,” Harry says with a huge smirk.

“Alright, then. Well, the fact of the matter is… that the men in our family… are able to travel in time… specifically back in time.”

Harry just stares at his dad for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter.

“Are you taking the piss?”

“You seem to be taking it better than I did. When your grandfather told me I went for ‘Fuuuuck’, but then again it was the 70’s.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

Over the years, Harry’s father has played many pranks on him, but this is a whole new level. Where did he even come up with this idea?

“It’s totally real,” his dad says with a straight face.

An AU based on the movie About Time.

all their words for glory always sounded so empty (26.8k)

Due to his overprotective father, Pince Louis of the fairies has never left Faefield. When he finally gets the chance to go out into the world, he must keep his identity a secret, which shouldn’t be a problem.

That is, until he meets his roommate Harry.

i was just an only child of the universe (until i found you) (3k)

Louis Tomlinson hates Harry Styles, with every fiber in his being.

Until on day he doesn't.

--

In a world where each person has a name on each wrist. One is their soulmate and the other is their greatest enemy. However, there is no way to discern which is which.

Sometimes this makes this complicated.

one day (you’ll be free) (1k)

Harry and Louis have a tough conversation after Harry's final show of his solo tour.

hope is like a drug in this wild wild world (21.5k)

Louis is a mutant who has been on the run for months, from Sentinel Services, the branch of the government responsible for catching mutants and torturing them. He prefers to stay alone, but when an accident exposes him and a friend. He must team up with an underground group of mutants to fight for what's right.

nobody knows you baby the way I do (17.2k)

Harry meets Louis at university. Once he finally gets the nerve to take their friendship to the next level, Louis vanishes without a trace. Harry doesn’t see him again for four years. Only now he goes by Charlie, and pretends not to know who Harry is. Now Harry wants answers more than ever.

but I know yes I know we’ll be alright (1.5k)

Louis and Harry in the future, dealing with their hectic life with three children.

cursing the cosmos (3.9k)

In a world where people have timers counting down to when they meet their soulmate, finding love is easy. Harry meets Louis in a coffee shop one day. They slowly fall in love, the only thing holding them back is that they aren't soulmates.

a truth so loud you can’t ignore (3.9k)

Liam just wants to get through Sixth Year relatively unscathed. He wants to pass his N.E.W.T.S and beat Slytherin in Quidditch for the first time in four years. But he can't do that when Louis, his best Seeker, is off hooking up with Harry Styles during practice.

marks that make us (3.9k)

In a world where the first words your soulmate says appears on your body, what does it mean you don't get one at all?

you’ll remember in the morning (1.8k)

Louis meets a really cute boy at a party. Said boy is his boyfriend Harry, who he came with, but he doesn't remember that.

you’re the one that i want at the end of the day (2.5k)

Louis has a really really shitty day, and then he meets Harry.

and just one mistake is all it will take (7.6k)

Harry is a vampire. Louis is a human with hemophilia. They are both oblivious to these things, even though they've lived with each other nearly a year. They find out and things will never be the same again.

nobody saves me baby the way you do (16k)

Louis is forced to spend time in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt. He doesn't expect much from his time at the ward and just wants to get out of there as soon as possible. Louis befriends a few other patients in his time at the hospital, One of them is Harry Styles who lives with the delusion that he can fly. They both help save each other.

kiss him just to prove that you can (1.8k)

Louis is on a terrible date at a basketball game with a guy who is ignoring him and he just wants to leave. Then a very cute boy with curls sits next to him and he thinks he might stay a while to see how it turns out.

you know i wanna be the one to hold you in your sleep (1k)

Harry and Louis have a disagreement on a big part of their wedding

sometimes love can be mistaken for a crime (9.3k)

“What the actual fuck, Lou?” Zayn hisses.

“What?” Louis asks innocently.

“You didn’t tell me you had a sugar daddy!”

“He’s not my sugar daddy!”

“He’s a good ten years older than you and makes a ton of money and probably buys you everything you want.”

“Maybe, but that’s beside the point.”

(Or the one where Louis has a much older boyfriend who likes to spend money on him and Louis likes to call him Daddy sometimes.)

Rub Me The Right Way (2.7k)

In which Harry styles is a masseur and most definitely not infatuated with a certain internationally know boybander by the name of Louis Tomlinson.

Always (5k)

After months of nothing but quick handjobs in the bus or blowjobs in a bathroom stall and hiding hickeys, Liam wants nothing more than a long, long night with Zayn in their hotel room. He wants to fuck his boyfriend so hard that Zayn forgets his own name and won’t be able to sit or walk right for weeks.

Wake Up Call (697)

Liam knows that Zayn prefers to wake up gradually rather than right when the alarm goes off so Liam decides to do his boyfriend a favor.

Wake Up Call Part 2  (4.5k)

Zayn decides to return the favor of being woken up by Liam by surprising him.

[clumsyclifford]

I came across a list of "ridiculous sentence starters" that I decided were actually too ridiculous to use as prompts but there was one that had malum potential: "so I may have accidentally adopted 5 kittens"

absolutely inspired as usual, meghna

read it here on ao3

-

Michael’s text says NO BIG DEAL BUT CALL ME WHEN YOU CAN!!! X and the kiss is capitalized, so Calum decides it’s at least a little bit of a big deal and calls.

The first call goes to voicemail. Calum likes leaving annoying voicemails for Michael, so when the beep sounds, he says, “Mike, you absolute fucker, why should I call you if you’re just going to send me to voicemail? Do you love me or not? Am I going to have to break up with you? Is this the end? ‘Cause it feels like the end to me, Mike. Also, I’ll be home in about five—”

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Calum says, rolling his eyes and smiling. “You interrupted my cute voicemail I was leaving you.”

“Oh, cool,” Michael says, obviously having heard nothing of what Calum just said. “So, listen, you’re on your way home, right?”

“Yeah, I was saying I’m like five minutes away.”

“Brilliant,” Michael says. “Great. Um, well, before you get here there’s, uh, something that…has happened in the house. There’s a new addition that was not there before. That you should probably know about.”

“Did you buy another monitor? You don’t need more than two, Michael, honestly.”

“No, nope, not a monitor.” Michael mutters something that sounds like I wish and then he’s back on the line. “Look, don’t freak out, okay? There’s a perfectly decent explanation. I swear.”

It’s not that Calum doesn’t trust Michael, he does, but whenever the words “don’t freak out” come into play, there’s a small part of Calum that immediately begins freaking out.

“Okay?” he says hesitantly, slowing to a stop at a red light. “Well, you better tell me quick, because I’m about to turn into the neighborhood, so…”

“So,” Michael says, picking up the thread. He clears his throat. “So I may have accidentally adopted five kittens.”

At which point Calum really has to wonder how this became his life.

He blinks as the light turns green and makes the left into their neighborhood. “I’m really not sure which part of that sentence to start with. Accidentally?”

“Yes,” Michael says. A beat. “As in, I didn’t mean to but I did.”

“Yes, I’m familiar with the definition of an accident,” Calum says dryly. “I’d love to know how you accidentally adopted five kittens.”

“Well, you know how I’m kind of really bad at saying no?”

“For fuck’s sake,” Calum says, turning right. “Okay. I’m gonna hang up, process this, and when I get home in two minutes you can explain it to me.”

“Sorry,” Michael says, which somehow does not feel like the right thing for him to be saying. It’s followed by, “Love you,” which is a lot better, and after Calum echoes the sentiment, the call ends.

A minute later, Calum parks the car in the driveway, grabs the groceries from the backseat, and locks the car. He bustles through the front door, calling out for Michael as he does.

“Hi,” Michael says, smiling nervously at Calum like he thinks Calum’s really going to be cross about the kittens thing.

Calum rolls his eyes. “I don’t care about the kittens, babe, I’d just really like an explanation.”

Michael sighs in relief. “Okay. Well. That’s good.”

“Also, can I, like…meet them?” Calum glances around; the living room looks roughly the same. “Where are they?”

Michael nods. “They’re in the guest room for now. I don’t know, it felt like the right place for them?”

Calum sets the bag of groceries down, even though he really needs to get dinner started — hence the trip to the store — and follows Michael to the guest room, which is suspiciously silent. 

“I think they’re asleep,” Michael tells him in a low voice, “so don’t be noisy.”

Inside, the kittens are all curled up in the corner of a big cage which Calum knows for a fact is a new purchase, considering they’ve never had any reason to own a cage. Two are white, one is grey, one is black, and one is black and white, and they’re all napping with various limbs tucked into or on top of or underneath each other. Calum has always considered himself a dog person, but at this sight his entire heart melts into liquid gold.

“Oh,” he whispers, slowly kneeling to get a better look. “Oh my God, they’re so cute. They’re so cute.”

“I know,” Michael whispers back. At the sound of speaking, one of the white kittens opens its eyes, casting a sleepy glance at Calum. It doesn’t seem terribly bothered to see him, because after a moment of Calum holding his breath it closes its eyes again and huffs quietly.

Calum is going to die. They’ll put cuteness overload on his cause of death and he’ll be mocked for years to come.

“We shouldn’t wake them,” Michael whispers, and Calum agrees. They back quietly away from the cage and exit the guest room. Michael shuts the door softly behind him.

“So we have five kittens in our custody,” Calum says. “Very adorable kittens, but kittens nonetheless.”

“Yes,” Michael says. 

Calum raises his eyebrows. “Care to explain how?”

“Yes,” Michael says again. He bites his lip. “No. Well. Long story short, I am very bad at saying no to things, and the woman at the pet shop was extremely convincing. And also said that I seem like I would be a great cat owner, which I would, Calum!”

“You will be,” Calum says. “You had better be, because you now own five cats.”

Michael grins. “I know! I know that’s fucking insane, but whatever! We’re adults. We can just have cats.”

“I don’t know anything about taking care of cats,” Calum warns him as he makes his way back to the kitchen. “I’ve only ever had dogs.”

“That’s okay, I’ve done lots of reading,” Michael says confidently. “Plus, we get to name them and I know you love to name things so I figured you could help.”

Calum shakes his head bemusedly. “Did you come up with all kinds of ways to sweet-talk me into letting you keep the cats? Why didn’t you think I’d just be okay with it?”

“Because I did it without consulting you first? Because we live together and I’ve just introduced five new living creatures to our environment?”

Calum sighs and pauses in the midst of putting away groceries. He turns to Michael. “Mikey, you’ve wanted a cat for, and this is a rough estimate here, about a hundred million years. This isn’t, like…how I expected it to go, but I’m not mad or anything.” After a moment, he adds, “I mean, you’re not wrong. It would have been better to talk about it first. And also to probably not end up with five rather than one. But.” He shrugs. “Whatever. They’re cats. They’re easy to love and easy to care for.”

Michael beams. The kitchen lights up with his smile. “This went so much better than I anticipated,” he says, grinning ear-to-ear. He throws his arms around Calum and presses a kiss to his cheek. “You’re gonna be a great cat dad. I know you say you’re a dog person but that’s just because you’ve never had a cat before.”

“I was never a dog person at the exclusion of cats,” Calum says in his defense. “What are we gonna name them? Do you have any ideas? How many girls and boys are there? Also could you cut these carrots?”

Michael obligingly does as he’s told. “They’re all boys. And.” He chews his lip. “I wanted to see if you had any ideas first.”

The face Michael’s making indicates that he very much has an idea, and Calum has only known about the kittens for like ten minutes, if that — hardly long enough to come up with any solid name ideas. He gestures. “Nah, I want to hear yours.”

“You sure?”

“It’s just an idea, it’s not set in stone. I want to know.”

“Okay, well, I thought we could name them after the One Direction boys.” Michael grins. “You know. ‘Cause there’s five of them, and…” 

Calum laughs harder than he expects to. “Oh my fucking God we are absolutely doing that, yes. That’s incredible. That alone makes it all worth it. Who’s who? Liam and Louis are the white ones, right?”

“That’s what I was thinking!” Michael says, also laughing. “Then I thought the black one would be Harry, the grey one would be Niall — because he was always on the fence, remember, like a grey area? And then Zayn would be black and white.”

“I love it,” Calum says, snickering as he puts the last of the groceries in the fridge. “I fucking love it. It’s fantastic. And so fitting.”

“Thank you,” Michael says. “I was pretty proud of the idea.”

“Well,” Calum declares, grabbing the knife dangerously out of Michael’s grasp and pressing himself against Michael’s side to stand at the cutting board, “we are officially cat fathers, Mike. How does it feel?”

“Feels good, honestly,” Michael says. “I’m really glad you’re not cross.”

Calum gives Michael a smile. He can’t imagine being cross about something like this, not when it’s obviously making Michael the happiest man alive. The joy is radiating off him in waves. Far be it from Calum to stifle that. 

“You get the eternal privilege of dealing with the litter box once we get one, though,” he informs Michael, who just nods solemnly, like this was a responsibility he’d expected to take on. Calum grins and kisses his cheek. “You’re going to make a fantastic cat dad, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Michael says. “I’ll be the cool dad, and then you can be the dad who seems like he’s really strict but actually gives them treats when I’m not around.”

Calum just shakes his head, smiling fondly. He lets Michael chatter on about plans for where they’ll sleep and what kinds of toys to get them and which ones he suspects will be the most playful, and every second falls more in love with the idea of a lifetime of pets and shenanigans with Michael.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Eighteen

Louis was lying in bed for the last few minutes until he had to get up to get ready for work. Harry was still asleep, his head resting on Louis' chest and his legs wrapped around his own. He checked the time before he sighed and gently removed himself to get ready. Once dressed he headed downstairs and made a quick breakfast of toast to go then made his tea from his Samovar that they finally got over to the house. Afterwards Louis headed upstairs and kissed Harry's cheek.

"Haz." Louis spoke softly getting a hum from Harry as he opened his eyes-only seconds later, "I'm going to work. It's six o'clock I got to go to make it by six thirty."

"Okay. Love you. Have a good day."

"Love you too. Get out of the house mister."

"Maybe. Maybe I'll go shopping."

"Again?" Louis asked amused as he watched Harry's smile sleepily

"Maybe I'll get lingerie and surprise you with it." Harry said grinning clearly joking but Louis couldn't deny seeing Harry in something lacey would definitely be a sight he'd treasure.

"Maybe sure it's black, red, or a light pink. Otherwise, I don't want to see it." Louis shot back slapping Harry's ass cheek

"Pink lace panties it is." Harry mumbled rubbing his face into Louis pillow, "shall I find rope while I'm at it?"

"Go back to sleep Harold." Louis said grinning as he leaned over and pressed his lips

"Love you."

"I love you too." Louis headed out of the bedroom and pulled his shoes on then grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, toast, and thermos before he headed out to his car locking up behind him.

***

Harry woke a few hours later and decided to do what Louis suggested and get out of the house. After a small breakfast and a long shower, he stood on the closet looking over the many items of his clothes compared to Louis' more normal amount. He debated one his outfit for thirty minutes before deciding on a high collar lace baby pink long sleeve shirt with black pants that tied at the waist. Harry left after he grabbed everything he needed and headed out to the mall to do some shopping. He first headed to a few stores he knew Louis had shopped at before since he did most of the laundry, he notice tags and like to know what his boyfriend’s sizes and favorite brands.

After spending a few hours and a few thousand at Manchester Arndale he headed for Waterstones for some new books. He spent a few hours collecting books that looked interesting before he checked out and headed up to the cafe. He pulled out one of the gay romance books he had bought after ordering a cup of tea and started to read.

****

Louis usually never had to use his key to unlock the door. It had only happened a few times and Harry usually texted him when he knew Louis got off to let him know he was out of the house.

"Haz?!" Louis shouted into the house as he let Niall, Zayn, and Liam inside

"Is he out?" Zayn asked

"Seems so. That's weird he usually messages me to let me know he left." Louis said pulling his phone out to check only to find no unread messages or missed calls, "oh well I'm sure he'll be home soon."

"Are you two okay?" Liam asked

"Yeah, why would you think we weren't?"

"Because of Saturday? What even was that?" Niall said as he flopped on the couch grabbing the remote

"That was a sexually frustrated Harry. He hadn't done anything in almost 10 days and so we were both tense. Then there was a bit of miscommunication on something. But no, we're fine honestly." Louis said moving to sit on the cuddle chair by the window. He unlocked his phone and pressed Harry's contact before putting the phone against his ear listening to it ring until he was sent to voicemail.

"Didn't answer?" Zayn asked

"I'm sure he's fine. I told him to get out of the house earlier so I'm glad he's out. I just wish I knew where he is y'know."

"When he gets home just let him know you'd like location updates. It's not too much to ask. Zayn and I do it." Liam said with a shrug

"Yeah, but he usually does it without me needing to ask. Anyway, pizza for dinner? Take out?"

"Pizza sounds good." Niall said

Right when Louis was ready to worry Harry's range rover pulled into the driveway and Louis sighed in relief. He watched from the chair as Harry got out and opened the backseat grabbing more and more bags until he probably had eight on each arm. Louis stood up and opened the door grinning when Harry looked at him.

"Hi sunshine." Harry said walking up to him

"Hey where have you been?"

"I just realized the time and got home and quickly as I could. Sorry I wasn't here when you got home." Harry entered the house and Louis closed the door behind him, "anyway I went shopping."

"I see that. I am only upset you wore that shirt without me beside you this whole day. Harry it looks great on you. Give me a spin." Harry blushed grinning as Louis grabbed his hand and spun him around whistling.

"Stop-"

"No you never wear this stuff outside of the house."

"I wore one of my blazers over it before I went into the mall... I chickened out."

"Was that blazer a turtleneck? No therefore most of this was still showing which is a lot more than you can claim a few months ago. Therefore, I am still so proud of you." Harry blushed as he hugged Louis' waist as Louis hugged him around the neck. "You look amazing. I'm only sad you didn't save it for Saturday."

"I bought an outfit for Saturday and I bought you an outfit to coordinate." Harry said as he grabbed the bags again and headed further into the house, "oh...hey guys." Harry said seeing the boys on the couch

"Hey, Harry you-" Louis discreetly pulled Liam's baby hair, "you hungry? We ordered pizza, don't mind us being here do you?"

"No of course not. You're always welcome." Harry said moving to the oversized chair and looking at Louis as he sat down. Louis made his way to him and sat beside him leaning his back against his chest as Harry wrapped a light blanket around them. "What are we watching?"

"Some gay romcom I think." Niall said, "Zayn just put whatever looked interesting on and I've seen gay sex enough times to not give a damn."

"Holding the Man. You haven't missed much, it just started." Louis told him

"Can we switch? I want to be little spoon?" Harry asked shyly

"You couldn't have decided that before we got comfortable?" Louis asked though he was already standing up as he spoke and watched as Harry scooted forward before, he laid behind him. "You giant teddy bear."

"You love me and my little spoon needs."

"Well, that's certainly true."

"Hush kids we're watching a movie." Liam said throwing a throw pillow at them that missed by a lot.

"Yes daddy." Louis said grinning back at Liam who rolled his eyes.

"You annoy me."

****

When the pizza arrived a few sex scenes later both couples looked at Niall

"Why do I have to do it?" Niall asked

"Do you really want one of us standing up?" Zayn asked from where he and Liam were laying on the couch with a light blanket over them.

"Yeah, sort of I'm comfortable."

"Niall do you really want a gay man standing up after watching gay sex?" Louis asked Niall quickly stood up, "good man. There's a fifty in the end table, tell him to keep the change."

"I can't believe my four best mates are hard under blankets." Niall said as he came back with the pizza, "wait...you four aren't jerking each other off are ya?"

"Trust me you'd notice if Harry was jerking me off." Louis said

"Liam?"

"My hand is not inside of my husband's pants. I promise." Liam said Niall nodded satisfied

"For the record I had no idea this was rated r." Zayn said

"Zayn, I don't care I've seen you two have sex multiple times. Trust me we're good." Niall said already taking a bit of his pizza

"Have you?" Harry asked shocked

"Yeah. We've all seen and heard too much. It happens when you live together. Although I have to say I always thought Louis would be louder."

"I top in my one-night stands, mostly because I don't bottom for just random people. I was always picky about that after my virginity taking. The top is usually not the one screaming to the skies." Louis said tossing a napkin at Niall

"Does that mean you bottom for Harry? Wait does Harry bottom?! I always picture Harry as a top."

"You're picturing my boyfriend fucking you?!"

"What?! No! I- never mind."

"That was a clever way to change the subject on who tops or bottoms." Liam said grinning at the couple, "you know I see Louis as a bottom but that's because I lived with him when he had a boyfriend."

"What does that mean?" Louis asked

"It means that every now and again I'd lose sleep because of you."

"What do you mean every now and again? Lou told me he bottomed most of the time." Harry said

"You did? Did you two have a bad sex drive? Because I swear you two did it maybe 3 times a week."

"He was such a terrible lay. Let's not even go there."

"You stayed with him."

"Sex doesn't make a relationship. Besides because of him I have my collection of toys, so I guess I have something to thank him for." Louis said

"Sex is what makes the relationship. If the sex is bad, I wouldn't want to be with the person." Liam said

"That's because you fucked the first person you saw naked when you were 15. You never waited for a connection with someone."

"Oh, and you have?" Liam challenged, "you lost your virginity inside a bathroom."

"So? I was 18."

"You lost your virginity at 18!?" Niall said shocked, "wait seriously. I lost mine at 16."

"I lost mine at 16." Zayn said

"What about you Harry? When did you lose yours?" Liam asked grinning as he turned to Harry

"Actually, that doesn't matter. We should just watch the-" Louis started to say but was interrupted by Harry

"I haven't." Harry said

“What do you mean you haven’t?”

“I mean just that; I haven’t lost my virginity yet. So, I guess I have you all beat.”

“Wait…but… you and Lou live together. He stayed here almost every weekend since you came back. What do you mean you’re a virgin?”

“Liam enough.” Louis said looking back at him, “I told you sex doesn’t make a relationship.”

“How can you fall in love with someone without sex?!” Liam said shocked as he sat up looking between the two of them

“I don’t know Liam maybe by talking? Finding out what you have in common and what you don’t? Seeing if you’re compatible in day to day lives instead of in bed? Making sure you communicate with each other?” Louis said in a patronizing voice

“What if you two don’t work in bed? You’ll be heartbroken!”

“I hardly doubt we have to worry about that Liam. We may not be penetrating each other’s assholes, but we are penetrating each other’s throats on the regular. It’s not like we go into the shower in jerk off in secret. We showed together you realize. We sleep beside each other nude most nights. There’s a lot of blowjobs involved in our relationship.”

“I don’t think they needed to know that.” Harry said though he did look highly amused as he spoke

“He asked.” Louis said with a shrug looking back at Liam who looked like he regretted asking, “Are you satisfied?”

“No, I have more questions. Just not about your sex life. Like why…wait so long?” Liam asked hesitantly as he looked at Harry, “You don’t have to answer I just know you were with Connor for over a year, so I figured you two had...done it.”

“No, it’s fine, but no I wasn’t comfortable. I could never make myself have sex with someone I didn’t know. Not only because of the fame and the money they’d get if they told the press I secretly had gay sex or lost my virginity to them or whatever. My sister says I’m demisexual and that’s what I told Louis at first, but I don’t know…I just want to be in love. Which I am with Louis obviously and I was sort of with Connor when things were good, but there was a lot of pressure with Connor. A lot taking and not a lot of giving.”

“I wasn’t joking when I told you Connor was a manipulative asshole who abused Harry in unthinkable ways you know. He’s just lucky I haven’t seen him in person yet, I’d fucking beat him.”

“Wait…did he…-“

“No.”

“Might as well have. He manipulated you and guilt you into doing things you didn’t want to do Harry. That’s rape even if it wasn’t forced physically.” Louis said shifting around to sit up completely

“Anyway.” Harry said pointedly, “For us it just hasn’t happened yet. Not that we don’t want it to, it just hasn’t fallen into place I guess.”

“Yeah. Planning your first time is the most unromantic way to do it, so Saturday we are going on a date and if it happens it happens. We won’t force it if it doesn’t feel right.” Louis said throwing the blanket off him to stand up, “More beer? Plates?”

“I’ll help.” Harry said also standing up to follow Louis into the kitchen

“You didn’t have to tell them that you know. If you didn’t want them to know, it was none of their business.” Louis said softly

“I don’t care if they know. I want the world to know that I’m yours completely. That I’m not some sex icon who fucked a million people. I want them to know it’s okay to not want to have sex with just anyone.”

“So why don’t you?” Louis asked

“Management would kill me. I’m still being sold and talked about as a playboy for both teams. I’m not allowed to be completely gay. They’re afraid most of my fans will leave if they think that I’m only gay.”

“But you are only gay. You’re a gay man who likes to wear clothes not traditionally meant for men. Ninety percent of your fans think you’re only gay anyway what’s the big deal if you confirm it?”

“I can be sued for ruining my perfectly crafted Public Imagine.”

“Okay….what if you sing it?”

“I’ve tried. That album you listened to, the ‘she’s were ‘he’s before they made me rerecord them. You didn’t really think I was singing about a ‘she’ did you?”

“Well, no, I just figured it was easier to sing with a she pronoun, I didn’t really care either way. How about you write a song that says I only like cock? I only eat cum for breakfast? See I can have your number one hit done in five minutes with enough inspiration.”

“Because again they’d never let me release it. Somethings are out of our control Lou...this is one of them.” Harry’s lips twitched before he kissed Louis then he grabbed the paper plates and headed back to the living room. Louis watched him leave already thinking of ten ideas to get this out for his boyfriend as he grabbed four regular beers and one fruity beer thing Harry kept for himself.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis and/or Harry use drugs during the course of the fic. If you support our rec lists and want them to continue being made, please reblog this post and spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Lips Are Like The Galaxy’s Edge | Mature | 2365 words

Harry licks over Louis’ hole slowly, deliberately, and his tongue is like velvet and Louis’ skin is burning at every junction where Harry touches him and it’s all so good he thinks he might cry. He licks a few more times, moaning softly like he’s relishing the taste of Louis and that’s just, well, fuck.

2) Can You Feel The Fever | Explicit | 5113 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Tour has Harry exhausted. Luckily exactly what he needs is waiting for him in his Sacramento dressing room.

3) Read You Like A Book | Explicit | 8089 words

Louis realises Harry can read his mind. He’ll do anything to make Harry admit it. Set during the North American leg of the WWA tour.

4) Put You On Repeat, Play You Everywhere I Go | Explicit | 8290 words

Harry is a college radio show host and Louis is a contemporary dancer attending said college. After a drunk hook-up, naturally a whole bunch of pining, dedicated love songs and make-out sessions on dance studio floors ensue.

5) Keep It Sweet In Your Memory | Explicit | 17039 words

'How'd it go?' Harry pushes them into Niall's room and shuts the door behind him, so Georgia doesn't overhear.

'It was good. We just caught up, mostly... I may have done something a little stupid, though.'

And Niall's eyebrows are in his hairline at that.

'I mean. Okay, so I invited Louis out on Saturday.'

'Saturday? Your--'

'Yes, my bachelor party...' and then Harry has to explain himself, 'I just felt guilty. I think. He was like. Telling me he wanted to hook up.'

'He WHAT!?'

'No. I mean, not with me. Like. He wants to go out and meet people.'

'He'll hate that. He's too much of a romantic.'

'Yeah, well. Whatever his name was messed him up a little, it would seem.'

6) Never Understood What Love Was Really Like (But I Felt It For The First Time Looking In Your Eyes) | Not Rated | 18431 words

The one where Louis meets Harry at 14 and things don’t quite go as planned.

7) Ain’t My Fault | Explicit | 18690 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

AU. Liam posts an ad on the wrong section of Craigslist, Louis is pretty sure they’re gonna get murdered as a result, and Harry’s missing an avocado.

8) Kiwi | Not Rated | 24110 words

AU. Harry plays on Saturday nights at The Motley. Louis bartends on Saturday nights at The Motley.

It’s a thing.

9) Honey, Make This Easy | Explicit | 25483 words

AU; Harry’s sister recently passed away, leaving him with temporary custody of her daughter. Needing help, he hires Louis as a nanny and the boy turns out to be help in more ways than he expected.

10) Can’t Fool Me | Explicit | 30162 words

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

11) Captain Jack | Explicit | 31752 words

Note: Please take note of the tags and warnings on this fic before reading

Louis has been searching for something and Harry is there to give it to him. Drugs, sex, disappointment, and the tangled web they’ve woven that keeps them trapped in the same cycle.

12) Can I Make It Any More Obvious? | Explicit | 35560 words

AU where Louis does ballet and Harry is the epitome of everything Louis’ friends want him to stay away from.

13) Bluebird | Explicit | 39024 words

The 2,789 miles between New York and Los Angeles is a long way to go alone.

14) Another Hazy May | Mature | 41042 words

Louis is a terrible poet and Harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance AU ft. Marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

15) Looking Through You | Explicit | 41905 words

Just as Louis and Liam were starting out in the music industry, writing and producing for up and coming artists, a fateful meeting with new pop singer Harry Styles changes everything. Four years later, just as Harry is set to embark on his next world tour, a drunken confession causes a rift between once inseparable friends. As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them.

16) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

17) Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You) | Mature | 54609 words | Sequel

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles.

Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn.

He also starts to fall in love with Harry.

Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

18) Into The Midnight Sun | Explicit | 63525 words

It’s 1983, Harry embarks on his first world tour and Louis is a budding actor in LA. Life spent apart isn’t easily adjustable, but somehow they make it work.

19) Like Real People Do | Explicit | 64175 words

Louis didn’t ask for a lot of things. He didn’t ask for his entire family to die in a car crash that may or may not have been his fault. He didn’t ask to get powers out of that accident, either, powers that eventually led him into a two-year relationship with a man who was far more than met the eye. But one night, he chose to ask for a replacement to a broken camera from someone he hadn’t spoken to in a year and a half. He did ask for that. And that kind of led to everything else.

20) Liberté | Mature | 64603 words

AU. 1647. “Pretending you don’t have a heart is not the best way to not get it broken. It’s just the easiest.”

21) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

22) Baby Heaven’s In Your Eyes | Explicit | 120875 words

They couldn’t be more different if they tried. Louis Tomlinson is 17 years old and in his last year of the most prestigious private school in Doncaster. If there’s one thing that completely annoys him, it’s that there is a poor community college right across the street.

Harry Styles is 19 years old, and (once again) in his last year of college. He goes to community college in Doncaster. He never shows up to classes and if he actually bothers to, he’s either high or drunk; sometimes both. His skin is littered with tattoos and if there’s one thing he absolutely hates, it’s the snobby students attending the private school right across from his.

23) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words

Note: This is a sequel to this fic. This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that’s the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

24) I Only Ever Want You | Explicit | 180079 words

Note: This fic is the sequel to this fic.

Louis & Harry and Liam & Zayn begin to have sex in front of each other and a lot of kink-discovery results from that.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[songandashadow]

Monthly Fic Rec - October

hey guys! I haven’t posted anything in a long damn while, but life’s been stressful. Doesn’t matter now though, because I’m back and about to give you a rec of all the awesome fics I read this month! Main pairing: Harry/Louis unless stated otherwise. Please don’t forget to show these fics some love and leave kudos/comments if you want! Let’s get to it. :)

***PLEASE ALWAYS READ THE TAGS FOR POSSIBLE TRIGGERS***

⸙  'Cause You May See Me In Different Bodies by lookingfortherainbow | 2k

“So, what’s your actual name?’ The curved eyebrows go up, those deep blue eyes go wide, and Harry waits patiently. “What, you mean--you mean, like, my preferred name?” “Same thing, isn’t it?” A raspy chuckle follows that, and Harry inhales the whoosh of minty cologne that floats his way when the customer scratches at the nape of his neck, over the hair that has gone shaggier since he last saw him. -- Harry knows the customers at the drug store he works at a little too well--except for the one that wears too many Adidas clothes.

⸙  always be my baby by orphan_account | 3k   [log in]

Harry is Louis' baby. Harry also wants Louis' babies.

⸙ this town's just an ocean now by louistomlinsons | 31k

“I have really great friends. Do you remember Louis? You guys were always hanging out when you were growing up.” Harry remembers Louis. Harry remembers Louis. Suddenly, his throat feels way too dry, despite the ice cream he keeps licking at. He chokes a little on a chocolate chip before saying, “I, uh. I remember Louis.” Her face brightens. “We have dinner every Sunday. He owns the house now. His parents moved further north, and he wanted to stay here, so they just gave it over. Now if you want to worry about someone being lonely, that’s who I worry about.” inspired by watermelon sugar, featuring picnics on the beach and boys being dumb

⸙ deleted your number (so i can't call you) by tofiveohfive | 9k

Harry wakes up to a voicemail.

It’s Saturday morning and it’s raining, a barely there drizzle. He sees the notification as soon as he picks up his phone from the bedside table, bleary eyes making it hard to distinguish the words. He’s got a few instagram mentions, a couple unread texts, but what really stands out is the “Missed Call and Voicemail”.

From Louis.

Or the ten hours before Harry comes home to Louis, and the five hours after he does.

⸙ Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey | 24k    [log in]

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

⸙ growing pains by crybaby | 63k

‘Harry Styles? It’s Louis Tomlinson. About the job,’ he pauses, ‘Would you be able to start this coming Friday?’

Harry Styles is stuck. He’s just broken his mum’s heart by dropping out of law school, lives with his childhood best friend-turned boyfriend-turned best friend again, and his greatest prospect at the moment is his casual arrangement with Nick.

Until Nick gets him a job as a nanny for the summer, resulting in multiple attempts at ignoring feelings, questioning morals and sexuality, pining, and the obligatory angst that comes with a Movie Star falling for his nanny.

⸙ No Such Thing As Second Choices by slashter | 29k 

main: louis/harry/liam

Harry is the calming rain, the peaceful serenity, the cleansing fall of water that makes Liam come alive and Louis is the thunder, the lightning, crashing and booming and shaking Liam to the core.

[Or the one where Liam falls in love with two men on a computer screen; real life, however, is a lot more complicated]

⸙ You Make Me Wanna Scream by dimpled_halo | 5k

Louis’ stomach flutters as he reads the words. Harry wants to “kick it up a notch”. His mind automatically comes up with different possibilities.

Hey Harry,

I’ll bring over some things and we can discuss them in more detail and determine from there what you feel most comfortable with trying.

See you Saturday,

Louis

Louis wants to ask him how his week is going and learn more about his life but he keeps it professional. He can’t get attached no matter how good of a potential sub the guy may be. With a long sigh, Louis resumes his lunch trying his best not to picture Harry tied up while he paddles his lickable ass.

⸙ Talk Dirty To Me by BriaMaria | 13k    [log in]

They were both naked. And that seemed, again, like a catastrophically bad idea, but here they were anyway. Naked. In the dark. Only a few feet apart.

It hadn’t even been a discussion. The minute Harry flipped the lights off, they’d both shucked out of their clothes as if they’d been on fire.

“Alright darling,” Louis said, his hand wrapped loosely around his own cock. “Just remember, start slow. Lots of descriptions. Light on the hygiene, heavy on the compliments. You’ve got this.”

As if Harry were about to compete in some kind of athletic game. __

Or the one where Harry is absolutely terrible at dirty talk so he asks his best friend to teach him. And the one where Louis knows it's a catastrophically bad idea but agrees anyway.

⸙ Here to Stay (here to Play) by SadaVeniren | WIP

Larry Kinktober 2020

New chapter every day. New kink every day.

⸙ Overwhelming by KrisStylinson | 13k

He groans and squints at the feet of whoever he’s bumped into. All he sees is a worn pair of tan boots that lead up into a pair of long, long legs. He sits up, sighing, and rubs at his eyes; there’s a hand in front of his face so he grabs it and allows this stranger to help him up.

He blinks once, twice, and can’t believe his bad fucking luck, because of course he slammed his entire body into a pretty stranger. Not only that but—he smells the air once to confirm his suspicions—a pretty, sweet-smelling, alpha stranger. Fantastic.

Pretty stranger opens his mouth. “I didn’t concuss you, did I?”

Louis is an omega attending university to get his degree and most definitely not waste his time with unimportant things such as finding a mate. Harry is the alpha who manages to unwittingly mess up that plan.

⸙ Face Your Fears by SadaVeniren | 92k

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

my notes on this fic:  I fucking cried so much. beautiful, angsty rollercoaster of emotions. #fave

⸙ Just Jump by jaerie | 9k

Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

⸙ Cameras Flashing by juliusschmidt | 81k

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

⸙ reach the heavens own blue by loubellies | 21k

He steps up to the plate, eyes glazing over as he watches Harry chew sunflower seeds, his jaw moving obnoxiously and exaggeratedly. His eyes drag down Harry’s body, settling on his large bulge, accentuated in those sinful pinstripe pants. The lines cut across it just right, curving where he’s thickest. Louis wants to crawl across the dirt on his knees and just take what Harry gives him.

Louis shuts his eyes for a moment, opening them to find Harry staring at him with a smug expression. He fucking knows. Louis gets into position and waits for the pitch. He swings when Harry throws, missing the ball just barely. Strike one.

or Louis is a Boston Red Sox and Harry is a New York Yankee.

⸙ He's Got So Much Fucking Hair by Queer_and_trashy | 7k

Professional hairstylist Louis for years has had a bit of a celebrity crush on Harry Styles the gorgeous queer model who just recently came out as genderfluid. So when he gets the opportunity to work with his dream partner on one of the coolest projects of career he might be a little flustered.

Aka Harry does the Another Man photoshoot and Louis is gay. Also, they're both trans because I can. Was written for hltransenbyficfest may it rest in peace

⸙ Worth the Wait by lovelarry10 | WIP

“Harry, you’re scaring me. Why did you need me to come home? I don’t mind, not if you need me, but… tell me what’s happening, love.”

“I…” Harry cleared his throat, but still the words wouldn’t come. His shaking hand reached down and pulled out the picture, his breath coming in shallow pants as he handed it to Louis, who took it from him, frowning down at it.

“Whose is this?”

Louis’ blue eyes met Harry’s green then, and Harry knew he had to tell the truth.

“It’s mine. Ours. I’m pregnant, Louis.”

*****

Louis and Harry had long ago come to terms with the fact they couldn’t have children. Rapidly approaching their forties, they’re settled at work, and more than happily married.

Life, however, has other plans for the Tomlinsons.

⸙ Meant To Be (Arse First) by Anonymous | 4k

Zayn groans in response, and Louis can hear the slow rustle of his bed sheets in the background. “Is it another ‘you woke up in the back parking lot of a Tesco’s with no pants and I need to come get you before the cops do’ panic or more of a 'I can stay in my bed and lend you an ear’ kind of panic, because I drank a lot more than you did last night, Lou.”

“Uhh,” Louis replies eloquently, “more like an 'I have two giant, blood red handprints on my naked arse, and no, they aren't from a good shag’ kind of panic.” ------ Or the one where your soulmate mark appears on your body where they first touch you and stays there until they touch you for the first time. Aka the one where Louis's soulmate must like bums.

⸙ planting seeds of love. by 4ureyesonly28 | 5k

When little Harry first sees the boy dressed in all green, with mismatched blue and red socks and the huge crown of yellow petals around his head, he doesn't know that he's just laid eyes upon the love of his life.

⸙ Her by jaerie | 7k

The buttery swipe of a high quality lipstick was almost a sexual experience in and of itself. This time a deep colour with purple undertones which drew out the emphasis of long, dark lashes and perfectly contoured cheekbones. It was a look for loose and styled curls, feeling the classy formal nightclub vibes reflected back from the mirror. The silky plum coloured slip dress would be perfect to debut. The tags still needed to be cut free from the new garment that hung in the closet, but tonight was the night to set it free.

When Harry gets home, she can finally be who she wants to be. Letting someone else in always feels like a distant daydream to her... until it suddently isn't.

⸙ at last, at last by suspendrs | 41k

“Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.”

Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway?

Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

⸙ don't you call him baby by Femstyles | 8k

But now, eleven months later, as his Uber pulls up outside the bar, Harry thinks he can absolutely handle this. He's going to walk into Liam's birthday party where the ex-love of his life is also going to be and he's going to show Louis that he can be a mature adult about everything that’s happened in the last year.

Or the one where Harry is absolutely doing fine and is definitely not still hung up on Louis. Except he is.

⸙ the anticipation of knowing you by sweetrevenge | 13k

Hello Neighbor! Just wanted to let you know that you were having sex so loud and scarily I called our building manager and security officer because I thought you were hurt. P.S. I sent them away when I heard you yell ‘cock’. I’m sorry that I heard that, but I wanted you to know in case they stopped by to check on you or something. Sorry! Your neighbor Louis Tomlinson in apartment #306

After Louis overhears his next door neighbor having sex, he doesn’t really expect anything but awkward hallway encounters to come from it. Instead, he’s surprised to find himself in a whirlwind pen pal relationship with the sweet, albeit loud, baker next door.

⸙ Into the Deep Below by writeivywrite | 18k

Louis can’t help but stare, his heart in his throat, because he’s never kissed anyone like that. It’s the sort of passion people ruin their marriages for, that they get tattoos to remember, and it hurts to look at because he wants to taste it, to get between them and feel the burn of it on his lips.

Surfer AU written for the prompt 'Les Misérables: the guide, the chief and the centre'

⸙ So Wonderful and Warm by SadaVeniren |3k

“I’m going to die,” Harry whined as she buried her face in her arms.

“Silly Harriet. What did you expect her to wear to the pool?” Niall said it loud and uproariously and Harry saw the way Shawn looked over at them from where he was pretending to tan.

She reached back and slapped blindly at his hand. “I don’t know. Trunks and a tank top? A one-piece? Not-” she gestured towards the object of her current pain. “that!”

That - for the record - was one Louise Tomlinson, dressed in a red bikini.

aka Harry is a useless lesbian who pines, but not for very long because this is a pwp.

⸙ You, Who Never Arrived by abrighteryellow | 42k

That was him, Niall.” He claps a hand over a disbelieving laugh. “My soulmate – the person I’ve been waiting for since I was nine years old. That was him on the other end of the phone.” “But it can’t–” Niall stutters, unsure of what to do, how to put a stop to this. “That wasn’t real.” “Wasn’t it?” Louis rushes past him, zipping up his fly. He grabs a black denim jacket from a hook near the door. “Then who did I just talk to?” “Where are you going?” Niall demands as Louis pockets his keys and swings his front door open. “I just have to get a look at him. I just have to see, that’s all!” “You’re not serious. Louis, it’s already late.” “He’s at the airport. Fifteen years I’ve been expecting him around every corner, and now he’s half an hour away. I can’t just sit here.” “Bu–” “I’m not going to do anything crazy, I promise. I just–I have to see him. This is my chance. Maybe my only chance.”

Louis Tomlinson is days away from marrying a perfectly nice podiatrist when he gets a phone call that changes everything. Or, the Only You AU in which Louis has a soulmate and it's definitely not Harry Styles.

⸙ Home (It's You) by sunniskies | 28k

When Louis left his high-powered life in the city to settle down in the suburbs, he had hoped to one day fall in love and start a family. He certainly didn’t expect to meet the omega of his dreams within five minutes of moving in.

He also didn’t expect the love of his life to hate him so much.

Or, Louis and Harry are neighbors who can't seem to get along...until they fall in love.

⸙ Vanilla Extract by Maelstrom_Roots | 3k

"When quarantine had started, Harry had been the cool one. But sometime in the last week, a panic had begun to grow inside of him. It had started out small, a niggle of worry deep inside his brain, but had since metastasized into something hungry and unpredictable."

Or: Harry takes a trip to the grocery store, and then freaks out about it.

[looselucy]

Sinking

July 16th “Do you want a brew? Kettles just boiled.” “Yeah, yeah. Thanks.” Lin accepted my offer, stood unnervingly beside the door leading into my flat. “You can sit, if ya want. Ease up.” I instructed as I began making his drink. “If anyone should feel awkward, it’s definitely me.”

Though we’d spent some more time together in the pub the evening before, we were all far too wrapped up in the fact that Harry had shown up to concentrate on anything else. Everyone had their own theories as to why he’d come back, why he’d come into the pub, why he’d ran out of there only seconds after arriving. They’d asked me what I’d managed to get out of him when I chased him out the doors, and I wasn’t even lying when I told them I’d gotten nothing whatsoever. Myself and Lincoln hadn’t had the chance to talk in the way I knew we needed to, so I’d invited him around to mine the following morning to talk things through, straighten things out. I needed to get something in my life back in order. “Tea or coffee?” “Um… Coffee, please. Thanks. You feeling any better this morning?” I couldn’t necessarily get a real grasp on how I was feeling. I was exhausted more than anything. The evening before barely felt real, I was amazed that it had actually happened, so much so that I hadn’t really been able to process it. I was keeping those thoughts at bay and dealing with the only thing I could, the only thing that was within my power to change. That was my situation with Lin. “I am, yeah. Last night was… a mess.” I sighed. “How about you?” “I’m alright. And I wanted to say sorry, about last night. I told myself I wouldn’t get like that-” “Please don’t apologise, Lin.” I carried his drink over, receiving a quiet thank you and then sitting down in the armchair across from him. “I know I handled it all… really terribly, so I owe you an apology, if anything. I’m sorry for blocking you out like I did, I just felt really guilty and I’d had a weird few weeks and… I dunno. I try really hard to just face stuff head-on but… it didn’t feel that easy with you.” Lin had never given me a reason to be angry, he’d never done anything that might put me off, so frankly, it didn’t feel like I had much of a reason to turn around and reject him when he’d been so wonderful to me, and that made it difficult! I was much better at being honest and explaining my feelings when there was something driving me, whether that was love, frustration, sadness, whatever it may be. Without a definite drive and knowing the outcome would be hurtful to someone I cared so deeply about, even though I knew it wasn’t right, my instinct had been to ignore it, block it out, put it to one side because that was the easier thing to do. “It was shit not hearing anything from you, y’know? It was really shit.” “I know it was. I know. It was a shit thing to do. I don’t have an argument, I’m not gunna back myself. It was shit, and I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath in, leaning back and letting out a large sigh before he created a very minor, contrived smile. “It’s alright, I guess. The main thing I care about right now is making sure our friendship is alright, which I can’t really do unless you talk to me. That’s why I was pissed off.” “I know, and I’m done with that bullshit. I won’t… hide away, I promise.” I comforted. “And we’ll be alright, y’know? Like… it’s me and you. I think even if we tried to stop being friends it wouldn’t work.” “I hope so.” He smiled, but it still wasn’t entirely convincing. “How do you… feel about it all?” “A bit disappointed, to be honest.” He answered after taking a sip. “I wish I’d just… left it.” As much as I couldn’t blame him for the way he was looking back at the situation, I didn’t want him to feel that way at all. It may have all seemed rather futile at that point, but I didn’t want him to regret taking the risk and asking me. I understood that it was different for him, because it was so easy for me to feel that way, but he was the one who had put himself out there and made himself vulnerable. “I don’t want you to feel like that.” I mumbled down to my lap. “I’m glad you asked. I loved our date, it was… It was nice, wasn’t it? I had such a lovely time with you.” “Then what changed?” “I don’t think anything changed. I… My feelings didn’t really change from what I said to you whilst we were still there.” “But you stopped communicating them. Why?” I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to clarify what had changed, why I had withdrawn the way I had. It was everything to do with my discovery of the Blood Sun in my shop, the way Harry had come back into my life. That was something I didn’t feel I could express to him, because it wouldn’t be a simple explanation. “I… I don’t know. It… I…” “Is it because of Harry?” I shot my head up to look at him, which was likely enough of an answer. I didn’t really need to say anything after that, because the look on my face answered everything. “Shit. I’m right, aren’t I?” “How did… I… I don’t really know what to say.” “You and Harry?” He gasped. “Uh… Sorta. Yeah. How did you know?” “Fuck. Well, a few things flagged back in the day, when he was here, but nothing major. I think the main thing for me was last night though! You both freaked out seeing each other! As soon as you ran out after him, we all had questions.” “For fuck sake. I can guarantee they’re questions I don’t wanna answer.” “Does Louis know about it?” “Yeah.” “I fucking knew it.” He clapped his hands together, sat up. “He’s a good liar, but I knew it!” “He’s not known long. I didn’t tell anyone at the time. I don’t really like telling anyone now.” “Why?” “Because it makes me miserable.” I groaned. “There’s nothing to say anymore.” He nodded, not asking me for more information after that. Lin didn’t feel the need to try and pry answers from me; I’d told him I didn’t like talking about it, and that was enough for him to ignore his nose and leave it be. “Basically,” I moved on quickly. “I just don’t want you to come out of this thing with us… feeling like you didn’t get closure, because I know how shit that can be. That’s very familiar to me.” He tightened his vision a little then, listened to my words and understood what I was saying to him. He knew I’d never really gotten my closure with Harry, and that had affected every single step I’d taken since he’d left. That realisation gave him some answers he hadn’t been aware he was looking for. “Let’s just… put the effort in to make sure this doesn’t get awkward. That’s all I want.” He was calm, understanding. “I want our closure to be us walking away from this with a friendship that’s stronger than its ever been. I… I do still like you, Alf, so I think this is gunna be tough for me. But if I ever get distant, snap me out of it, yeah?” “I will.” I grinned. “We’ll figure it out. As long as I don’t lose you.” “You’re not getting rid of me.” His smile was genuine, nice to see. It was pleasant and reassuring to get the sense that we were both going to make the effort needed to sustain our friendship, or make it stronger as he wished. “Can I have a hug?” His question was so endearingly awkward that I practically leapt to my feet to grant his request. He was on his feet a second later, the two of us meeting in the middle to wrap our arms around one another, slowly swaying from side to side as we did. “I’m sorry.” He apologised one last time, even though I kept telling him he had nothing to be sorry for. “I’m sorry too.” The second I squeezed him tighter, there was a knock on my door. It's enormously unnerving when your gut is right. When you just know something, like a sixth sense. I could recall the morning my dad had gotten in touch with me to share the news that my mum had passed away and I knew. As soon as I saw he was calling, I knew. The night before I’d barely been able to sleep, something keeping me up, this sensation of dread that I hadn’t been able to place until the very moment I saw he was calling me, and once I had, it was my very first thought. There was no doubt in my mind that we’d lost her. Sometimes you just know things, beyond all explanation. And I knew it was Harry at my door and I knew that this time around, he wouldn’t be running away. I knew it before I’d comprehended that someone had knocked at all. I detached myself from Lincoln and slowly made my approach, my heart in my fucking throat as I did, near coming out of my mouth when I opened the door and saw him. Our eyes were on each other as soon as I had, completely locked in, as though we were making up for the evening before when we’d barely been able to look one another in the eye. And I saw the colour of his eyes once more, that timeless emerald that had conquered so many dreams of mine ever since he entered my life. I stopped breathing. I had to gaze right up to him, convincing myself he was taller than I remembered. He was sort of drawn in on himself, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket and shoulders hunched forward, chest tight, clearly rather anxious. And then he saw Lin. I watched his jaw wind, the veins in his neck protruding as he lifted his head and swelled his chest with a host of hot air, tensing his shoulders and taking a step back, like he wanted to walk away again. But he stopped himself quickly. He took a deep breath in through his nose and then leaned closer to me again. “Can I talk to you?” He requested quietly, voice deep, entrancing, his hair dishevelled and overgrown, falling over his eyes until he ran his fingers through it, pushing his locks back. “Please?” “Uh… I-” “Y’know what,” Lin picked up on the mood and began edging towards the door. “I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll catch up with you in a bit, yeah?” “Okay.” I was shaky, short of breath. He edged past the two of us, smiling rather uncomfortably when he was close, Harry refusing to look him in the eye. “Nice to see you, Harry.” “Yep.” He grumbled back to him. We remained quiet as Lin lumbered his way down the stairs and out the front door, my stomach twisting, very gradually coming to terms with the fact that I was going to be in Harry’s company in a completely private setting. It had been a long time. “Um… Come in.” I offered. “Thanks.” He stepped in. It was as though he was being cautious, like the ground may give way beneath his feet, crack and crumble and claim him as its own. I could practically see his memories of us running through his mind as he looked around my home, pictured us in the places we had been there, the moments we had shared, and all I could hope was that he had handled them with care, cherished them. I hoped they made him happy, that they didn’t hurt him. I closed the door, biting at my lip. He looked back to me, and spoke quickly, careful not to lose his nerve. “I wanted to apologise for last night.” He began. “For… leaving like that. I’ve been trying not to do stuff like that and not to turn away from situations and I… I dunno, I was just a bit overwhelmed. But I’m sorry. M’trying to be better.” “Oh. Okay.” I didn’t know what to say. Being around him made me want to cry. I couldn’t explain it, but just seeing him and being in such close contact with him put a literal weight on my chest and my stomach. Fuck, it was like every inch of my body was weighted and collapsing in on itself. I hated that he could pull that from me, that he still had such an effect on me. It was such an unfamiliar sensation, not knowing how to talk to him, how to act around him. It wasn’t how I knew us to be; even in our most difficult times, we hadn’t quite been that way, and what made it worse was the fact I could feel he was experiencing those same sensations. Though he had turned up to see me and he was trying, he was incredibly tense, his posture rejecting any presence, taciturn, tough. But I could see how desperate he was to try. “H-how are you?” He juddered as I wandered over to the kitchen, wanting to generate a substantial space between us, leaning against the counter and looking at him. “How’ve you been?” “Um… I’ve been okay.” The broken, beaten and quiet words escaped from between my trembling lips. “Yeah?” He wanted more from me. I understood that. “Yeah. I mean…. I dunno. It’s been a weird year, there’s been some changes, but yeah. I’m okay. I’m good. Up and down, but generally pretty good.” “Good.” He breathed a heavy sigh of relief, just knowing that. “M’glad to hear it. How’s your dad?” “He’s really good.” I managed a smile. “Did he move back here?” “For a while, yeah. But he’s moving again in a couple of weeks.” “Why?” “He found it too hard. Being here. Everything reminded him of my mum. He said being in Rosebury was too difficult. So he’s gunna leave.” “Yeah.” Harry dropped his head, looked at his feet. “I… I understand that. I know I’d be the same way.” He kept his head down for a while after saying that, clearly uncomfortable looking me in the eye, his breathing so unforgiving that I could see the rise of fall of his chest from across the room. Due to the note he had left me on his painting, I thought that if I was ever lucky enough to see him again, he would be a new man, strong and happy and settled. I didn’t expect to see him like that, weak and timid, more so than I’d known him to be before. The only times I’d ever seen him so drawn in on himself was during moments in which he was talking about his pain, his family, the things that had brought him sorrow – his greatest losses. That was the Harry I was seeing then. “Have you been okay?” It felt good to know I would finally have an answer to a question I had been asking for months on end. “Yeah. I’ve uh… I’ve actually been really good.” He lifted his head, smiled a little. “Good. I… I kinda feel better in myself, for knowing that.” I confessed. “I know, I’m the same! I… I think about you a lot.” He swallowed, easing his dry throat. “I-I’ve wanted to come back for a long time. To see you. I just… I don’t know.” I was glad to learn that I hadn’t been alone in feeling as though we were lacking the closure we needed. He had thought of me. He wanted to come back to Rosebury, to clear the air, to ask questions. He was finally doing it, and strangely enough, it left me not quite knowing what to say. “I’ve been seeing a therapist for the past year.” He announced urgently. “What? You… You’ve been having therapy?” “Mm.” He nodded. “It’s been really good for me. I was having sessions with a guy out in New York, and he’s been… really helpful.” “Harry… what the fuck! That’s amazing!” The concept was astounding to me, the thought of Harry speaking with someone that way, being open with someone, especially a therapist. It had taken months of closeness for him to feel comfortable with me, and even then, he’d struggled and ached. I was so happy that he’d finally gotten to the point where he felt he could talk to someone about his life, and from the way he was speaking, it had helped. It had been a positive experience. As much as I had loved being his confidant, all I could offer was a pair of ears, comforting words. I couldn’t offer any real help, which I realised after some time was exactly what he needed. I wouldn’t have been able to make any real difference. I was the emotional support when really, he needed more mental support. I was thankful he had gotten that. “I think that’s why I’m here.” He moved away from the wall beside the door, taking a couple of steps towards me. “I can… see things differently now, and I needed to talk to you. I… I wanted to apologise to you, Alf.” “Wh-what?” “I really fucked up, with us. The way I was. I don’t think I handled any of it well. I guess I was more like my dad than I’d ever realised, and I’ve always struggled to talk and…. I think I sort of used you as this emotional punching bag, in a way. That was fucked up, m’sorry.” “That’s okay.” I whispered. “I don’t… I don’t see it like that. I wanted you to talk and feel like… I was there for you. Because I was there for you. You needed that. I… I wanted to be that for you. Does that make sense?” He nodded reservedly, a tender smile gracing his lips. It seemed that he knew that was also true, and that it is good to talk with people you’re close to, people you trust, but he hadn’t done all of it in the best way. That wasn’t surprising to me, and it wasn’t something I was angry about; I was the first person he had been completely candid with, it would have been a miracle if he’d done all of that perfectly, especially with the depth and darkness of the times he’d endured in his life. “And… my therapist helped me to realise that I sort of started to see myself as this… really negative part of your life. It’s one of the reasons I left.” “Why? What do you mean?” “I blamed myself… for what Jack did to you.” He told me, blunt and honest. “My therapist thinks that’s something I do. He thinks that when I was little, I kinda saw it as my job to try and save my dad. And… well, I couldn’t and I blamed myself. And then all the bad shit that happened after we lost him, I felt like all that was my fault too. I adopt blame, even when I shouldn’t.” My mouth was ever so slightly agape as he spoke to me, told me what he had found out about himself, and he seemed so incredibly confident. He wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed, he wasn’t guilt ridden or introverted; he was telling me what he’d learnt like he was staggeringly glad to have this understanding of himself that he’d never had before. He’d never been emotionally available enough to know these things. I was too stunned to respond. “And I know that Jack was there that night trying to find me. The night he attacked you, he was in Rosebury looking for me, so it is my fault, in a way. That you came across each other. And it killed me, knowing that. It really… It fucking killed me.” “It wasn’t your fault.” “I’m trying to see it that way. I think I find it really hard because with Jack… he knows how to manipulate things. He’s known exactly how to get into my head ever since we were kids. It’s one of the reasons I never wanted to talk or open up, because he’d use it against me. Every time. When he found out I was with you…” “What did he do?” I had tears in my eyes, voice frail. “He told me you were gunna leave me. That you’d… break me.” He seemed bruised from the memory alone, taking a few seconds to calm himself down. “And he knew it’d get to me, because I always lost the people who meant the most to me.” I flinched when he said that, like he’d taken his fucking fist to my gut. “In times of struggle… I always lose someone. And nothing scared me more than losing you, Alfie. Nothing. And he knew it and he used it to-” He choked over his own words, looking back down to the ground and attempting to gather himself. I thought I was going to be sick. “And I think I pulled away before you could. I tried to own a situation that felt like it was fucking spiralling. I could feel myself losing you… Pushing you away. I got scared and I left and I tried to numb it.” He spoke from his chest, looked into the top corner of the room rather than at me, jawline sharpening. “I acted like it was nothing, like we were nothing. I thought that’d make it easier. I thought that’d make it feel like I wasn’t losing you… like some fucked up way of trying to gain control of it. If I lied, if I convinced myself, convinced you… I told myself that I wouldn’t feel that same loss, but I did. And I’m sorry for putting you through that and acting like I didn’t care, because I did. I just didn’t know how to handle it.” I had tears streaming down my face. I hadn’t been expecting it. How could I have ever predicted he would ever say those things to me, to wholly alter the narrative to which I believed we had ended. He was being incredibly upfront. He didn’t need to be, it clearly wasn’t an easy task for him, but he was doing it. I didn’t know whether that was for my own sake or for his. Maybe it was both. “I needed to tell you how sorry I am. For everything.” He told me as I wiped the tears from my eyes and noticed he had tears in his. “It was so messed up and I know… I know how much I hurt you, and I’m so fucking sorry, Alf. You didn’t deserve that.” We were a rarity, Harry and I, the relationship we had shared. As fucked up as it was, as beautiful and breath-taking, our burnout had never turned us to ash. We had never disintegrated. Our separation only charred us, searing our edges and leaving us so singed that over a year with no contact could go by and yet the two of us could still stand there in tears because of what we’d been through. We had been so involved and so invested and so passionate about one another that something that should have been forgotten was in fact a skin that we had not been able to shed. Some old flames will always burn. I rushed to wipe my tears away, like I wanted him to think I was stronger than that, that his actions were so distant they didn’t still break my heart, even with him giving me all this new information as to why he’d acted the way he did. “You really hurt me, Harry.” I somehow made my voice sound strong despite how weak my body felt. “I know. And I regret it every fucking day, Alf. If I could go back and change it, I would.” “But you can’t.” The damage was done. I had spent the last year wondering what it was, why he’d led me on that way, allowed me and encouraged me to fall in love with him only to tell me he couldn’t love me, that he’d only fucking been there as some way of humouring me. I couldn’t get back the months I had wasted aching over that, even with this new knowledge, the understanding of why he’d acted out the way he had. It wasn’t enough. He wiped tears away with the back of his wrist with quite some force, chest juddering, nostrils flaring, fist tightening, eyes on the ground. “No.” He seethed sadly. “No, I can’t.” Though it was comforting to know that it had all affected him, to know I hadn’t been entirely delusional throughout our time together, it didn’t make everything okay. I wished it did; I wished the closure I had been craving had conquered my core, but I still didn’t necessarily feel that way. There was still more for us to say. “I think I kinda wanted you to hate me.” He sniffled. “Like… if I acted like a prick, you’d be glad I was gone anyway. I thought it would make it easier for you.” “It didn’t.” I snarled. “I know. M’sorry. I was… I was such a fucking mess after Jack broke into mine, I… I dunno!” He gasped. “I wasn’t in the right position to give you what you needed. What you deserve. I wish there was a way that it all could’ve unfolded without you getting hurt in the process, but my head was so fucked and… I just wanted to explain all of this to you. I know it doesn’t change anything, but you deserve to know, Alfie. I had to tell you all this… for both of us.” I nodded, bit my lip and folded my arms, watching him wipe away his tears and try to stop more from falling. He was right. We had both needed that. “Your therapist helped you realise all this?” “Mm.” “Is that why you sent me that painting? Some… way of apologising?” My body language was guarded, a fragile shield I was using to protect myself from him. “This is my way of apologising.” He told me. “By… fucking stepping up and seeing you and actually apologising.” “Okay. So… So why did you send me the painting?” “Because…” He took a few moments, considered his answer. “Because I feel like you’re its rightful owner. You… are the reason I’m here. The reason I can… take responsibility for my actions. Understand my actions. I was in a really bad place for a really long time and then I met you and… You made everything better. You made me better. You made my whole fucking life better, and I feel like you got me to this point.” “Your therapist did that.” “For fuck sake, I wouldn’t have even been to therapy if it wasn’t for you, Alfie!” He raised his voice to argue his point, took another step closer. “I fucking paid a therapist to help me sort the bullshit in my head out, but you did it because you fucking cared about me. I’d never had that before! You made me feel like it was okay to talk, okay to… feel how I was feeling. You did… more for me than any fucking therapist could. You are the reason I felt like I could let go of all that bad stuff and move on. That’s why the painting is yours, Alfie. That’s why I sent it to you.” He had rendered me speechless. I was shaking, the two of us staring at each other in silence. He wasn’t going to stand there and allow me to dismiss the meaning behind him gifting that painting to me. He had to make his point clear, show me just how important my role had been in his healing. He was practically repulsed by the idea of me not knowing exactly what I’d meant to him. I backed down, softened. “Sorry.” I whispered, and he just shook his head, sighed. “I… I do appreciate it. It’s… It’s so beautiful. I-I cried when I saw it.” “You did?” “It’s stunning, Harry. Really, it’s… special. Not that I know much about that kinda thing, but… it moved me. It’s incredible.” He smiled shyly. “I’m not really sure what I should do with it though. I don’t think it’d even fit in here.” “Do whatever you want with it.” He shrugged. “Sell it. Burn it. Whatever you wanna do with it. It’s yours.” “M’not gunna do that.” I chuckled breathily. “Could turn the wine shop into a gallery. It could be my prize piece.” An inkling of a standard, easy conversation, and we both calmed considerably. Fuck, I’d missed him. I’d missed him so, so much. “Well… like I said,” He smiled. “Whatever you wanna do.” “I’ll look after it, I promise.” “Thanks.” I denied the temptation I felt to finally get closer to him. I was certainly more comfortable then than I had been before, but distance still felt good. As did talking to him. “So… are you still in New York?” I asked. “No. I’ve been in London for a while but… m’gunna be here for a bit.” “In Rosebury?” “Yeah. In my house. M’gunna ring my mum soon. I’m tackling some big stuff today.” He grinned to cover his discomfort. “Um… I’m gunna tell her about the house and talk through some stuff. Try and get her to move here. M’gunna do what I promised myself I would.” “That… That’s amazing. I’m really happy for you.” He got nervous then, fidgeting, cracking his neck before he spoke. I was utterly shocked by his suggestion. “So I’m gunna be around, for the next few days. Or maybe weeks, depending on how it all turns out. Do you… Do you wanna spend some time together?” I could once again feel tears building, burning at my chest and nose and eyes and head, begging me to cry. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I whispered unnervingly. “But-” “No. C’mon, Harry.” I sniggered somewhat. “We’re not really the type that can be just friends, are we?” It wasn’t the time to be naive. I would have loved to be around him, soak him in for as long as I could, but it would have only hurt me in the end. I couldn’t be around him in a platonic way, it would never work, not after everything. The emotions we had both tied to our affiliation and its demise were far too strong for that to ever work in our favour. He cleared his throat and nodded, taking a step back. “I should go.” He suddenly said, squeezing his temples between his thumb and fingers before lifting that same hand and running his fingers through his hair once again. “Um… Just one last thing. I wanted to thank you, for getting my mums number and giving it to me. You didn’t have to do that… but you did. That means a lot to me.” “You’re welcome.” “And I fired Liam. My agent.” “You did?” I wheezed. “As soon as I got back last night. I rang him and he admitted it and… that’s done. Gunna have someone else handle my stuff going forward.” “Good. Fuck that guy.” “Yeah.” He chortled. “But thank you for telling me. I’ve been trying to straighten things out, and you’ve done some of the work for me. So… thanks. For always looking out for me. I don’t deserve it.” “I think you do.” I murmured. He looked woozy for a few seconds, gripping his eyes shut and then straightening his body out. “Okay… M’gunna… Yeah, m’gunna leave.” “Okay.” “Thank you for everything.” “Thank you for… coming here. I’ve been… desperate for some closure.” I admitted. “I sort of feel like I’ve got that now.” Something happened then that I couldn’t describe, this feeling, an enticing lure that reminded me that there were ties between my body and his; ropes that were torn and withered but still strong enough to anchor and drag me underwater with no power to fight against them. I ran to him. I literally ran to close the gap between us and I threw myself against his body, because he had been waiting for me. His arms opened wide the very second I began to diminish the gap between us to throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as his went around my waist, holding me that forcefully I was elevated off the ground. And we just held one another for a while. His face nestled softly into my neck as my fingers found his hair, gripping ever so gently. Physical contact with him was much more prodigious and devastating than I’d bargained for, but I didn’t want to let go. I just wanted to hold him and feel him and be eclipsed by his arms; his arms that felt like a bandage, a way of keeping us from falling apart, stitching us together so we didn’t crumble right there and collapse completely. My feet met the ground again, but we didn’t let go of each other. I remained on my tiptoes so that I could reach him comfortably, seconds passing by like minutes. It had been so long since I had last touched him, been touched by him. I could have locked myself in that moment for hours and not tired of it. That was exactly why I knew I needed to pull away from him. I planted my feet firmly on the ground, trying to quietly encourage him to let go, but he seemed reluctant. Even when he started to loosen his grip, he didn’t fully succeed, laying his hands on my waist and pressing his forehead against the side of my head, his lips just an inch from my ear. My stomach twisted into a knot that was impossibly tight. He breathed me in, inhaling through his nose, the tips of his fingers pressing firmer against me. “I love you, Fee-Fee.” His words caused my body to freeze. And for once it wasn’t due to his beautiful low tone, his striking softness, or him using the nickname he had for me. It was the other part. I gripped my eyes shut, furrowed my brows. “Wh-what?” I baffled, taking a step back which forced him to let go. “What the fuck did you just say to me?” When he didn’t answer, I opened my eyes. I think I was expecting to see him look shocked, like it had poured out of him without thought or purpose. But he looked like his only reason for coming to see me was to say those exact words. “I love you, Alfie. I’m in love with you.” He said again. For so long, I had wanted to hear him say that. I hadn’t even been able to imagine what it might sound like, what it might feel like. But I finally had my answer. What I felt was anger. “Are you fucking kidding, Harry?” “Fee-” He tried to approach me again. “You think you can just… turn up here after over a year and tell me you love me?” I stepped back. “You don’t love me.” “I do. I always have.” “You don’t! You don’t love me. You can’t… You can’t just do this.” “But I-” “All you’re doing is fucking with my head again! What do you expect from me? How fucking dare you?” I could barely believe the rage I felt with him for doing that to me, for putting me through more confusion than he already had. Not one other person in my life had meddled with my emotions in the way he had, and the very moment I felt like I might be okay to move on from him and find even a minor moment of peace, he ruined it. “I need you to leave.” I headed towards the door. “What? No, Alf, I don’t wanna leave.” “That’s not your decision! I’m so fucking angry. The only reason you’re saying this is because you think I’m with someone else.” “Wait, I think?” His eyes were wide, chasing me, astonished. “What do you mean, I think? Are you not with Lin?” “Get out.” I opened the door. “NO! Fuck that, I’m not gunna leave, I’m gunna fight for you!” He took the door edge from my hand and slammed it back shut. “I don’t care if you’re with him or not, I want you! I know we’re supposed to be together. I know I’m not ever gunna feel like this about anyone else. I’m not giving up on us again!” “Please go.” I started to sob, conflicted and confused. “It’s just me and you, Fee.” His hand reached for my cheek, clutching as he edged his face closer to mine. “Just me and you, please.” “There is no me and you, Harry! You left!” I knocked his touch away. “You broke my heart and you moved away and you let me believe for all this time that you didn’t care!” “But-” “All you’d do is hurt me again, I know it!” “I won’t. Please believe me. I wanna make you feel safe. I’m gunna do everything I can to make you feel safe. You just have to let me try!” I pressed my back against the wall beside the door and the balls of my palms into the sockets of my eyes, my insides shattering. I never imagined myself to react that way. I’d thought that if such declarations ever came from him that I’d all but fall at his knees, kiss him and hold him and tell him I loved him too. But I didn’t feel the desire to be that way with him. I didn’t feel that love. It was just unadulterated fury and complete disappointment. “Please, I… I’m so in love with you.” He kept coming close to me, hoping to deteriorate my defences. “It’s too late, Harry. You’re too late.” “Fuck, please don’t say that.” He blubbered, breaking, pressing his forehead against mine and placing his hands against my jaw. “Please, Fee-Fee. Please don’t tell me I did too much damage, this is killing me. I can’t lose you.” “You lost me when you left.” I was blunt, dropping my hands from me eyes so I could look at him, harsh enough that he stepped away from me, detaching himself and looking to the door, still crying. “This doesn’t change what you did, whether you’ve got an explanation or not. I’m sorry you felt that way, Harry, I am… but it doesn’t reverse it. You think I’m gunna wait over a year without hearing anything from you, for you to just send me a painting and say all this and then what? You think I could just… trust you again? Pick things up like nothing happened? I can’t do that!” There was no guarantee he wouldn’t go through that same turmoil again. If Jack came back into his life. If things didn’t work out with his mother. I didn’t want to be the person who felt the brunt of the troubles he experienced in his life. I didn’t want to be burdened with the brutal repercussions that accompanied whatever way he handled times of strain. It was too late. He didn’t seem to have the strength to speak or look at me. “I really think you should leave.” I whispered, and he just about nodded, but didn’t move. “I’m sorry, but… I can’t. I want you to leave.” I wondered what he’d been expecting me to say. He couldn’t have possibly come to me predicting he would receive the perfect response. Whatever he’d been expecting, he was clearly crushed by what he’d received. Shaking, I went to the door again, grabbing the handle and opening it for him. “Please.” I pleaded one last time. “Okay. I’m going, I’m sorry. I just… I wanted you to know how I feel. And that’s how I feel. Now you know, that’s all I can do. I’m sorry.” In a way, I wished he hadn’t told me at all. This was beyond him explaining himself and apologising for his old actions, this was introducing brand new complications and cutting fresh wounds to partner with the ones that had only just begun to heal. Somehow, it felt cruel of him to put that on me. But it would have been just as cruel of him to keep it to himself, for him to torment himself. He should have been able to tell me if that was how he felt, but I truly hadn’t wanted to hear it. The situation was barbaric and merciless. Harry released another ghastly sob as he took his first step, his skin red and likely burning as he finally did as I’d asked and left, rushing down the stairs and slamming the front door shut behind himself. I was numb, lifeless, staring forward with my stomach sinking and sinking and sinking like a sun disappearing over the horizon, and that was how I saw my relationship with Harry in those moments; a setting sun in blood red skies, plunging gradually into the rolling hills that surrounded the village where we had once fallen in love. In its slow death, the sun births shadows. And I knew it would only be so long until I was plummeted into darkness.

[dailytomlinson]

After Louis Tomlinson’s recent show in Madrid, some fans got the chance to meet him. One girl wanted to talk to him about his song Two of Us , which he had written after the death of his mother. The girl had lost her dad, and wanted the singer to know how much his lyrics had meant to her. He’d never had that in his band One Direction, he says. “We wrote cool songs, but they were love songs. It only goes so far, and to have someone say that I could help them with my…” He pauses. “It blows my mind, that shit. I was proper proud.”

It has been a hard few years. Tomlinson’s mother died in 2016, just as he was about to launch his first solo single. In March this year, his 18-year-old sister was found unconscious at her flat in London and couldn’t be revived. We will come to that, but, professionally, Tomlinson was struggling too. One Direction – that supernova of a boy band – broke up in 2015. Or announced they were taking a break. Or “‘hiatus’ or whatever word we use”, he says with a smile.

At the time, Tomlinson, now 27, was finding his place as a songwriter. “I wasn’t singing a lot, I wasn’t the frontman. Without being a sorry little bastard, I thought: ‘How do I do better, how do I make something of myself, an identity?’” In the last 18 months of One Direction, he says, “I felt like I knew who I was in the band, and I felt a real worth for who I was.” The break up, he says, “rocked me. I wasn’t ready for it. I felt like I was getting to be a better songwriter, singer, a more confident performer, and all of a sudden, when I felt I was finally getting some momentum …”

We meet at a bar in north London. Tomlinson greets me with a hug as if I am one of his fans (I am not, particularly, although I am by the end). He seems open but not vulnerable, and more self-aware and modest than you would expect from a man who was once part of the biggest boy band in the world. He is friendly and relaxed, dressed in a black tracksuit, with a beer in front of him.

Tomlinson’s personal tragedies also meant his solo career has had a bit of a stop-start quality, but now it looks as if there is focus and momentum. He released his single Kill My Mind earlier this month; an album will follow next year. Kill My Mind is an indie-pop delight, not so huge a departure as to alienate his fanbase, but it sounds like the music he grew up listening to – Oasis and Arctic Monkeys – and his South Yorkshire accent brings more than a hint of Liam Gallagher-style northern vocals. He sounds confident on them, more so than on the previous singles he put out, a couple of fairly forgettable collaborations. “I think, in hindsight, that was me trying to find my place in the industry and making music I thought I had to make to get on radio.

“I had this epiphany when I was thinking about the music I grew up with,” he continues. “I kind of had a bit of a word with myself and worked out what I want – to be happy and proud of what I’m doing. I love those early singles, but I never really felt proud of them, because it didn’t feel too true to me.”

As a child, growing up in Doncaster with his mum Johannah, who raised him alone until she married Tomlinson’s stepfather, he loved performing. “I liked to be the class clown, I liked to make people laugh, to show off, all that.” When his younger twin sisters were cast on TV dramas, he would sometimes go along as their chaperone, earning £30. “Where I’m from, we don’t have anyone who’s been on TV or anything like that, so it was super-exciting,” he says. He ended up picking up work as an extra. “The pinnacle of my acting career was one line on an ITV drama. I don’t even know if they used my scene,” he says with a laugh.

When he was 15, he joined a drama group in Barnsley, which his mum would take him to when she could afford it. “I think I was confused, thinking I wanted to act when actually what I wanted to do was perform.”

At school he joined a band, where they sang Oasis and Green Day covers, and when The X Factor came up, he made it on to the show in 2010 on his third attempt. He queued from 3am to make sure the producers wouldn’t have audition fatigue before they saw him, and he got his goal – to get in front of Simon Cowell “and just have a professional opinion on how I am as a singer. I was so flustered. Going from school performances to performing in front of professionals, TV cameras, a 3,000-strong audience. I wasn’t present. I sang terribly. I remember coming away from it thinking: ‘I wonder if I’ve got through as one of those lads who looks all right but isn’t really a good singer.’”

Yet he ended up in One Direction, the band the show put together in its 2010 series. For six years they sold tens of millions of records, broke America and each made a rumoured £40m-plus fortune. Their fans, Directioners, are another level of devoted. I don’t know how he coped with the attention, or the pressure.

There were really only a few times when it got too much, says Tomlinson. They were in Australia and a local news station had got a helicopter and a photographer was trying to get pictures of Tomlinson in his top-floor hotel room. “I think I was naked, or just in my boxers, and even in my hotel room there was no escape. I could feel the pressure.” He tweeted about it – “your standard bratty celebrity tweet” – and was attacked. “At times it did stress me out but never was I allowed to whinge, allowed to be a human and say: ‘Today has got too much for me.’ I found that difficult at first.”

But he is keen not to sound as if he is complaining. “There was much more positive that outweighed that.” And he never blames the fans for their intensity. Theirs is a special relationship, he says. “So many people have bullshitted about what they feel about the fans, but they’re like family to me.”

Even when Directioners have got a bit too ardent – there is a conspiracy theory, for example, that he and his bandmate Harry Styles have long been in a secret sexual relationship – he seems more bemused by it than annoyed. Although he is wary, he says, of adding “fuel to the fire” by talking about it. “I know, culturally, it’s interesting, but I’m just a bit tired of it,” he says. The HBO drama Euphoria recently showed an animated sequence of Tomlinson and Styles together, as imagined by a smutty fan-fiction writer. Was it annoying that a show had taken something fairly niche and given it new mainstream life? “Again, I get the cultural intention behind that. But I think …” He trails off, trying to work out what he wants to say. “It just felt a little bit … No, I’m not going to lie, I was pissed off. It annoyed me that a big company would get behind it.”

Why does he think he never went off the rails during the band’s heady period? “My mates and my family, really. It’s from my upbringing and where I come from. If I went back to Doncaster and I was dripping in Gucci or whatever, I’d probably get whacked. I’m always very conscious of not acting too big for my boots. It’s the people around me who keep me sane and normal, because they give me insight into real life. Some celebrities, in pop in particular, only surround themselves with amazingness, and all they see is good, good, good, which is lovely, but you don’t understand the real world then. I have the luxury of my mates around me, just reminding me how fucking good I’ve got it, really.”

The day of One Direction’s final concert in November 2015, Tomlinson and his bandmate Niall Horan sat together “and had a little cry, because it was such a journey we had been on. That day in general was so poignant. As much as you try and prepare yourself, it’s a whole other thing when it comes.” Because they had worked so much with few days off, he assumed that a break would be exciting. “But it wasn’t like that. When you’re used to working however many days, it’s all that more evident when you’re not doing something. Especially in the first six months. My life became –and I don’t mean this to sound derogatory – very normal, from being a life of pure craziness.”

At the same time that Tomlinson was trying to work out what to do with himself, his mother, to whom he was intensely close, had been diagnosed with leukaemia; she died in December 2016. He performed his first single on The X Factor just a few days after her death, then seemed to half-heartedly continue with his solo career, releasing another single in 2017. It would be another two years – during which he became a judge on The X Factor – before he released Two of Us, a raw and beautiful (and under-rated) song.

“After I lost my mum, every song I wrote felt, not pathetic, but that it lacked true meaning to me,” he says. “I felt that, as a songwriter, I wasn’t going to move on until I’d written a song like that.” He knew he needed to get it out of him, but there was a lot of pressure – he felt he should be an experienced songwriter before he attempted it. Two songwriters he worked with played him the chorus. “It was like the song I always wished I’d written. I went in and put my personal touch to the verses. It was a real moment for me in my grief, and as part of the creative process, because it felt like it was hanging over me.”

Earlier this month, an inquest found that his sister Félicité had died of an accidental overdose; she had been taking drugs, including anxiety medication, since the death of their mother. He has been through some terrible times, I say, which must put a perspective on a pop career. “Exactly,” he says, a little quieter than before. “That whole dark side I’ve gone through, it sounds stupid to say, but it gives me strength everywhere else in my life, because that’s the darkest shit that I’m going to have to deal with. So it makes everything else, not feel easier and not less important, but, in the grand scheme of things, you see things for what they are, I suppose.”

His fans have been crucial, he says. “I’m sure every artist says this, but I do believe it. We’ve been through some dark times together and those things I’ve been through, they carry a weight, emotionally, on the fans as well. And I felt their love and support. I remember really clearly when I lost my mum, that support was mad.”

What have the experiences of loss he has been through taught him about himself? He thinks for a second. “I keep going back to it, but I don’t know if it’s a combination of where I grew up and my mum’s influence, but I just have this luxury of being able to see the glass half-full no matter what.” He is the oldest of his mother’s seven children, which is grounding and means, he says, “there’s no time for me to be sat feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been to rock bottom and I feel like, whatever my career’s going to throw in front of me, it’s going to be nothing as big or as emotionally heavy as that. So, weirdly, I’ve turned something that’s really dark into something that empowers me, makes me stronger.”

He gets up to go to the toilet, which I think is his polite way of asking me to move on, although when he gets back he says, by way of a final word on the matter, “I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. That’s not how I feel for myself. Somehow it fuels me.”

One Direction will get back together one day, he believes. He still speaks to the others. “We’re not texting each other every day, but what we do have, which will never go away, is this real brothership. We’ve had these experiences that no one else can relate to.”

Styles has become quite the superstar. The others seem to have steady solo careers. Tomlinson says he’s embarrassed to admit that, when he first went solo, he would have been devastated had his album “only” reached No 3, so used is he to everything he did with One Direction going to the top. Is it hard not to measure himself against his former bandmates? “Oh, naturally,” he says. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I’ve never been competitive like that, but, naturally, you think: ‘If they’re getting this then I deserve that.’ I think, the longer time goes on, I can see it for what it is and just be proud of them.” And success means something else to him now. “It means I’m happy with what I’m doing.”