#harls is fucking BAFFLED

[starscelly]

pleasantly shocked fist bumps

dal@nsh 12.23.23

[thegaypotato]

Grief

    Peter Parker was used to grief.  He was almost numb to the pain when Gwen died in his arms that chilly December night. He knew how to handle it. He knew how to look for help when he needed it because he knew he had people there willing to give that help.

Harley, on the other hand, wasn’t so used to grief. He’d had a rough life, that’s for sure, but he hadn't lost people through the heartache that is death. His dad left when he was young, too young to even understand, and he’d been bullied for the majority of his middle-school years for being one of the only openly gay kids in the school and he’d grown up having to take care of his little sister because his mom had to work double shifts every night, but he wasn’t familiar with death.

Sure, his dog of twelve years, Barley, had died when he was sixteen and it was rough, but he accepted it and healed a few weeks later. Other than that, he’d gone through zero grief in his life.

So that’s why he didn’t know how to react when he got a call from the Rose Hill Hospital telling him that his mother had passed away in her sleep due to kidney failure.

He had been in the lab, working on Peter’s web-shooters because they had overheated and exploded and Peter knew very little of mechanics.

He remembers dropping the phone, the cracking of the screen breaking not even making him flinch.

“Harls? You ok?” Peter had asked. Harley hadn’t replied, the soul-crushing words replaying endlessly in his skull as unwelcome tears sprung to his eyes.

He’d cried, of course. He’d cried and sobbed and wept into Peter’s chest as Tony sat nearby, hand rubbing the boy’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He’d cried until his throat felt like it was clawed to shreds by the merciless monster that is grief. He’d cried until he felt like he was drowning in his own tears, the lump in his throat blocking any air that tried to pass through.

He hadn’t slept that night, sitting on Peter’s bed with his back pressed against the wall as his boyfriend slept beside him, his head in Harley’s lap and their fingers intertwined.

But after that, Harley hadn’t cried. He didn’t cry when Abbie arrived at the Tower, face red and tear-stained as she latched onto her brother because she had no one else. He didn’t cry when he watched his mother’s coffin being lowered into the dirt of her farm.

He didn’t cry because he was angry.

He was angry at himself for not being there with his mom while she was in the hospital, clinging onto her life. He wasn’t there because he was too excited because he had fallen in love and he’d gotten back in touch with Tony Stark after years of drifting apart. He wasn't there because he was too selfish.

Peter and Tony and Pepper and Abbie had all told him otherwise. That he shouldn’t do this to himself; shouldn't drag himself down for something out of his control.

He didn’t listen.

And he snapped.

*

    “Harley,” Tony snapped, his voice firm with fatherly strictness. “Come on.”

Harley sighed and gripped the tool in his hand tighter. “I’m fine here,” he murmured.

“No, you aren’t. You haven’t left this lab since yesterday. This isn’t healthy, Harley.”

Harley huffed in frustration, trying to drive all of his attention to the small wires in front of him.

“Why would you care,” he muttered under his breath, not expecting Tony to hear it and respond.

“Because, Harley, I’m your guardian and I care about you and your wellbeing, so please, just go eat something and get some sleep,” Tony said, his voice soft and almost pleading.

“I said I’m fine, Tony,” Harley snarled, turning to glare at the man. “I’ll leave when I’m actually hungry.”

Tony shook his head and kneeled down in front of the boy. “I know what you’re doing, Harley. Locking yourself in here and trying to forget everything around you, I’ve done it before - Christ, Peter has done it before. We can help you, there’s no need to hide away. It’s ok to mourn-”

“You think this is because of my mom?” Harley spat out, turning back to the desk. “Think again, Tony.”

“Harley, please-”

“I said I’m not leaving!”

Harley tried not to wince at himself as a little too much anger tipped over the edge, leaving Tony staring at him with a baffled expression on his face.

“Nope, you’re leaving.”

“Jesus fucking-” Harley slammed the screwdriver down onto the metal table, his legs shaking with weakness as he stood up and stormed off, slamming the door behind him.

He stormed to his room and slid down his door where his knees met his chest.

He raked his hands through his hair vigorously, attempting to breathe as steadily as he could. He squeezed his eyes shut and hid them into his palms.

A small knock of the door made him jolt up.

“Harls?” Peter’s gentle voice murmured from the other side, the softness of it possessing Harley's body and making him back away from the door just enough so Peter could peek through.

“You ok?” Peter asked, easily slipping through the thin wedge and kneeling down in front of Harley.

“Yeah,” Harley croaked out, sending Peter an attempt of a smile. Peter quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re definitely not ok,” he said. “Come here.”

Harley was immediately grasping onto Peter, shoving his wet face into the crook of Peter’s neck and grabbing fistfuls of his sweater.

“Shh, it’s ok, Harls, let it all out,” Peter cooed, slowly pressing gentle kisses on Harley’s head as if a movement too quick would break him. Harley’s shoulders trembled with sobs he failed to swallow, hiccuping as his tears slowly came to a stop.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, still not pulling away from the comfort of Peter’s arms.

“Sorry for what?”

“Being a burden. Stressing you out all the time.”

Peter was the one to pull away, staring at Harley incredulously.

“Harley, are you even hearing yourself? You’re mourning. You aren’t stressing anyone out and you are definitely not a burden, alright? You are a human and you’re bottling up everything because, what? You don’t want others to care for you? Harley, that’s why we’re here. Tony and Pepper and Abbie and I are here for you. But you have to trust us,” Peter said, eyes glimmering with compassion so deep that it made Harley’s stomach twist.

He didn’t deserve so much love.

But he knew what he was doing wasn’t healthy whatsoever. He knew he could only balance his feelings up to a certain limit, and he had passed that limit long ago.

“I love you,” Harley said through a trembling hiccup. “So, so much.”

Peter pulled Harley back in, rubbing his back as Harley rested his forehead on Peter’s shoulder.

“I love you more, Harley.”

“Not possible.”

[harbinger-of-chaossss]

They broke up during the honeymoon phase cuz Harl reilised he didn’t wanna be bombarded with the problem of his partners fame. But manly because Batman dared tread to get lost and tread took it to literally.

I like to think tread accidentally wondered to ninjago and the ninjago police are fucking baffled how he got there

New lore: Harl and Batman broke up

… are you waiting for me to ask what happened to Batman and Harl? What happened to Batman and Harl?