#hardest riddles

[iamapoopmuffin]

Jamil my malewife

[I had so many memes I split them between two posts and all the Jamil ones ended up here somehow]

[feimier]

once upon a dream.. CHILDHOOD ENCOUNTERS ִ ࣪𖤐 ִinc. riddle, azul, malleus. gn reader┊ 日长睡起无情思，闲看儿童捉柳花。。。

↻ can be taken as both platonic or romantic!

ʚ Riddle Rosehearts ：the regular at the patisserie

His first encounter with you was the same day he allowed himself to taste the strawberry tarts. The sunlight shone brilliantly on the silver of the patisserie, and he remembers your smile as you entered, and remembers how desperately he wanted to feel that too. He’d see you stand on the tips of your toes and see the excited gleam in your eyes as you observed the many delicacies with eager anticipation, and would imagine the joy he would have if only he had the privileges too.

He remembers how Trey had called you over to their table, and remembers the ghastly speech you made on how blueberry tarts were better (he begs to differ, but alas). The distressing look on your face when he told you that this was his first in a shop, much less a patisserie, was a delight to see as he savoured in your agitation. Despite the harsh scoldings from his mother after, it was still undoubtedly the best afternoon he ever had.

Life was normal for him, for a while at least. That was until he started spotting unprompted appearances of strawberry tarts sitting on his bedroom windowsill. He was originally hesitant in his advances towards the dessert, but gave in to the temptations eventually. He thought it a miracle and perhaps it was his mother’s way of apologising, yet the continuous presence of a strawberry tart every Friday afternoon proved otherwise. After the third week, notes scribbled with small riddles and greetings started to emerge along with it; drawings and poems the next. Eventually, the mysterious sender attached long letters that would narrate the mishaps of their week. Slowly but steadily, he knew more and more about his mysterious benefactor, and he could readily hazard a guess at who it was.

He would have to give you his thanks the next time he sees you, if he sees you at all.

ʚ Azul Ashengrotto ：the hopeless romantic by the sea

It was monday when he found his first scrap of text encased in the bottle next to his front door.

He was dismissive of it initially, deciding that it just wasn’t worth his time to be fixated on something so small, however peculiar and strange it might be. Yet despite his ignorance, the bottles— all with odd letters inside— keep appearing every week. They went from one to two, from two to three, and now as many as seven were found near the areas of his home, and as the amount of bottles increased, so did his intrigue.

Eventually, he could not help but fall victim to his curiosity. He slowly uncorked the bottle and took out the letter inside. He was half expecting for the ocean waters to ravage it, but the letter seemed to be covered in a special kind of gel to prevent it from dissipating with liquid, and this alone was enough to pique his interest even more. Materials such as this were quite rare, even in the merworld.. so how did this sender get ahold of it? Perhaps if he were to investigate further.. he might be able to find the great mage behind it.. maybe it was fate after all that brought these letters to him!

He was beyond disappointed to find that it was not indeed from a great mage, but rather from a simple lovesick human who was in a desperate search for affections. The letter did not contain a legendary spell that would transcend his existence, much to his disdain. Yet, the beautifully written words continued to captivate his attention, and he wonders how stupid someone will have to be to send such charming mail so relentlessly.. and with none of them getting sent back a reply. It’s quite sad honestly; makes him wonder how he might help this poor— wealthy— unfortunate soul.

Thankfully, the sender address was included in the letters. So naturally, he just had to take the first chance to lend his helping hand! He wasted no time to pen his return letter— the contents narrating the dealings and his terms. He decided to be the person that would write you a return letter every two weeks, on the conditions that you would partially financially support any of his forthcoming businesses. You ought to be able to.. considering the amount of madol you must’ve spent to acquire such magical gel.

That was the start for his first business affair. Time had long passed since then; now he lives in the present, where he sits back on his chair as he reminisces the past. He wonders how you’ve been doing recently, after all he hasn’t once received a letter from you, even after he informed you of his change in address.

Maybe it’s time to visit you directly.. to discuss the further terms of the contract of course.. now that you’re a important sponsor of mostro lounge.. he’s certain that he has no particular longing to continue knowing your thoughts, your emotions, and your life. It’s really not that you’re on his mind.. nor is it that he’s taken a liking to your ramblings.. it’s only that he believes there should be decent communication between client and proprietor (he still hasn’t realised himself that he had long broken the rule of replying only after two weeks).

He doesn’t want to know you at all.. or does he?

ʚ Malleus Draconia ：his knight in shining armour

It was not so surprising for malleus to see your rather dense form emerge from the dark robes of night and the overly lengthened barriers of his abode; it had happened much too many times and your perseverance had far surpassed his— quite limited (as you would often comment)— expectations.

Primarily, the accidental encounters he and you share were meant to be accidental. They were only ever supposed to occur in his escapades into the neighborhooding woods, just as the first he met you. At that time, he was still blissfully unaware of your abilities to initiate forced entries upon places that you were not supposed to set foot in, but alas, the current mischievous twinkle in your demeanor only continues to prove his perception to be flawed. He watches your silhouette as you hastily tidied yourself while huffing out whispers of hello— there was something especially endearing about your ruffled state, for a reason he can’t quite put a finger on (perhaps he feels that it is akin to a secret you allowed yourself to share with him, a state where only he could know, a condition where it was suited for him to be ruffled too).

You were his secret, his escape from the crushing weight of the unbearable loneliness. You were the one flicker of color in his monochromatic life, the one who made him feel alive in this dream. Your visits to his balcony were nothing less than a miracle to him ,and so his original casual anticipations of your visits have slowly turned into something he cannot live without. It was a routine that you would come for one night every week, and you’d talk with him about mundane things in life like how your toothpaste tastes weird or how you have to do your bedsheets tomorrow. These carefree conversations are one of the few ties he has with childishness, and he relishes in it, no matter how fleeting the moments may be.

He sees your goodbye as you hop off the balcony, and he waves to you with a heavier heart than usual. He did not yet know that this would be the last he sees of you, for a very long time.

comments, likes and reblogs are all greatly appreciated! thank you for the support 🌟🌟

[cozymochi]

🌹The start of my self-imposed challenge to draw every twst boy 🤧 Will I go by dorm order?? Housewarden?? Or no pattern at all?? Stay tuned. There’s a lot to get through. 🌹

also really really sorry for not posting new legit art for. for …forever. Hopefully doing this will kickstart me not dipping for an extended period.

I HAVE A KO-FI TOO BTW

[justanotherfanfolks]

Wait, you know what makes this extra funny?

The fact that this is all of Ruggie's screen time in Phantom Bride.

He shows up for like 5 seconds, refuses to help, and never shows up again. Not even in a vignette like the others that had small parts in the story. And I love that for him.

[merakiui]

Mera MERA you're the only one who get me. Riddle's beach outfit??? RIDDLE BEACH OUTFIT????? HOT GIRL SUMMER????PLS when I saw the exposed stomach I was immediately like "ahahah...what if...what if I were to grind on it...AHAHAH Jk jk...........unless👀"

YES OMG OTL hot girl summer Riddle is something I never thought I’d see in canon, yet we are here and it’s wonderful!!! Grinding on his tummy or even running your hands over it, teasing his navel, complimenting him for how good he looks in that outfit even if he’s against showing so much skin. <3 he may think it’s against the rules and very unbecoming, but you think he’s the most attractive one on this beach, and when Riddle hears you say that it’s hard for him to think otherwise. Maybe it’s fine to show a little skin for the sake of this vacation—so he doesn’t get hot in non-summer clothes, he insists! After all, there aren’t many rules one must follow when on vacation. :)

[twsthc]

twst character playlists 🎧☆

⚠️ warnings: i have bad music taste. also a lot of nightcore. sorry.

last updated: october 10, 2023

🌹 🎼

Riddle: Bôa - Twilight , Laufey - Let You Break My Heart Again , Nakaniwano Shoujyotachi - SHISHAMO

i was thinking about putting in regal classical music or something, but its like, the whole point of riddle is hes a KID and that was taken from him

this is what he sounds like on the inside; a sad teenager lmao

Ace: Estelle - American Boy , Pharrell williams - Hug me , Bruno Mars & Cardi B - Finesse

teenage boy pilled

HUG ME! BRING IT IN! WOOO!!

Deuce: Beastie Boys - Fight for Your Right , Childish Gambino - Girls Look Better , ROAR - Christmas Kids , Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag

2 people simultaneously agreed hed listen to the Beastie Boys in my discord so here we are!!

Cater: Azelia Banks - ANNA WINTOUR , Magdalena Bay - How to Get Physical , Katy Perry - California Gurls , Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

Azelia and Beyonce are in there cuz pop culture and cater and blah blah blah

i personally think hes a nightcore avril lavigne kid

Trey: BTS - 134340 , Sion - lies , Hyeln Joo - Hair Cut (미장원)

i would give you some super deep and understandable reason for these but.

idk!!! it just sounds like trey. this is what he sounds like.

🥩🎶

Leona: A Tribe Called Quest - Electric Relaxation , MF DOOM - Hoe Cakes , Sade - Smooth Operator , Kendrick Lamar - We Cry Together

i had to consult the african council (my dad) for this one

ATCQ of course, and Sade because my dad asked politely

Ruggie: GROOVY - Jersey Luv , Tay-K I <3 My Choppa , Lil Gnar - Sticky Rice , Odetari x 9lives - I LOVE YOU HOE

i dont have to explain myself to you

(hes african american boy coded)

Jack: Ice Cube - It Was A Good Day , Micheal Jackson - Rock With You , Bell Biv Devoe - Poison , De La Soul - Me Myself and I

i think he would be into oldies and ruggie would tease him for it

micheal jackson stan

🫧🎵

Azul: ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! , Dalida - Love In Portofino , Caravan Palace - Lone Digger , Caro Emerald - Tangled Up (Lokee Remix)

old sounding music for the "nostalgia" (he wasn't even born during these eras)

the songs that play at the lounge and it kinda got stuck in his head

he fantasizes about preforming these songs in drag btw

Jade: Antonia Carlos Jobim - Girl From Ipanema , Laufey - From the Start , CAPSULE - TICTAC

songs he listens to on long hikes while thinking about violence

Floyd: 41 minutes of Roblox music , Megurine Luka - Tako Luka Maguro Fever , Euday L. Bowman - Twelfth Street Rag , ₳С₴łĐ₳ - PRIVET PRIVET 2009 ST

haha get it spongebob music because hes a fish

(gets booed off stage)

🌞🎼

Kalim: Serani Poji -Pipo Pipo , 레드벨벳 - Day 1 , takeshi abo - LEASE , MAXIMUM THE HORMONE - ChuChu Lovely...

cutie patootie happy-go-lucky songs

i feel like Takeshi Abo - LEASE is what goes through his head on loop 24/7

Jamil: Paramore - Renegade , Bôa - Duvet , beabadoobee - the perfect pair , LeTigreWorld - Deceptacon , Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

Paramore - Renegade was actually a recommendation! thank you yorick :3

otherwise i think rock/soft heartbroken songs go well with him

👑🎶

Vil: Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time , Magdalena Bay - Killshot , Kitty Kallen - It's Been a Long, Long Time , Mitski - Liquid Smooth

queen. flawless. stilettos. category: bad bitch.

too classy for this world, forever that girl

Epel: KYLE - Don't Wanna Fall In Love , Ram Jam - Black Betty , WHAM! - Everything She Wants , Hot Freaks - I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

a mix of older and newer songs i guess

i hc he works on a family farm (for fun and allowance). hed be blasting Black Betty in his left airpod while wrestling a sheep in the mud

music taste slightly influenced by deuce and jack methinks

Rook: Vendredi sur Mer - Écoute chérie , Camille - Le Festin , ラムのラブソング , Shelly Duvall - He Needs Me

you know i had to do it to em

okay but these songs unironically fit rook to me idk

☠🎵

Idia: 【らき☆すた】スーパーアハアハデラックス , 初音PV新作くるみ☆ぽんちお.flv , Caramella Girls - Caramelldansen , 6arelyhuman - Hands up!

the first one represents how i hc he listens to those 16 year old anime tohou remixes on a daily. he injects them into his veins.

nico nico douga war veteran. u u uma uma...

Ortho: Nanoray - DesktopBuddy , METAROOM - S.N.U.F.F.Y

cute and electronic sounding songs!!

🐉🎼

Malleus: Malice Mizer - Ma Chérie , this entire playlist , Yoko Kanno - Green Bird , NASTYONA - My September ,

being honest idk much about malleus

all i know is he would listen to malice mizer and he is gay

Silver: The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable now , Burn The Ballroom - Kiss Me You Animal , Wienners - GOD SAVE THE MUSIC

lilia influenced his music taste a lot

Sebek: deaf, doesn't listen to music

Lilia: Mothy - ヴェノマニア公の狂気 , MASA WORKS DESIGN - 狐の嫁入り , Kenshi Yonezu - KICK BACK

trying to stay true to his war general roots while also remembering hes a gamer otaku thing now...

also hes in the "light" music club so

[midnxght-sweet-time]

For the Jade x Trey / Riddle x Malleus shippers or the ones that know—

Tell me. Enlighten me. EDUCATE ME— What is the appeal with these two ships exactly?

Im not saying this as like an anti-shipper, im just very very curious. Ive been seeing these ships a lot and Ive yet to understand them-

Ive seen Malleus x Cater and somehow I understand them but not Riddle x Malleus— was it that one time in the rose maze in ghost marriage? What about Trey x Jade? Is it the appeal of two Dilfs getting tgt????

Someone please tell me please want to know.

[overexciteddragon]

.

[bluetraverser]

WHY HAVE YOU SHREDDED MY HEART

[sk1fanfiction]

RIP Mordred, you girlbossed too close to the sun and like Icarus you died.

[jackass-jones]

Teehee I love puzzles 🥰

[bweeeb]

HARD DICK...or three

Summary: Draco, Theo and Mattheo have always been Y/n's best friends, but when she realizes that the reason her relationships don't last long are them, the conversation takes a funny turn involving three boys with hard cocks.

Warnings: English is not my first language, a lot of intimacy between the boys and the reader.

---

There were people who were lucky in their careers, financial life, academics, and even love life. You were a lucky person but hated to admit that the hardest part for you was always your unluckiest part. Boyfriends were never easy for you, and staying stable with them was even harder. You never considered if the reason none of them lasted or were worthwhile was your fault—your poor choices, or the lack of character in all three serious relationships you had over the past few years. You never questioned it until last night. Dave Franco was your boyfriend for a year and a half, and last night he had a jealous outburst in the middle of a Hufflepuff party. You swore you heard him repeat the same words more than three times, “shitty friends,” “are you sure you didn’t have a threesome?” “They want to fuck you!” You were drunk and getting upset with his words until you realized that maybe your friends were much more intimidating to your boyfriends or flings than you had noticed. So you concluded that no, you were not the problem; they were…

— Alright, Our sleeping beauty has already missed the first classes.

Theodore's voice spread through the silent room along with the rustling of the comforter beside you as he occupied the space next to you.

— If you miss lunch, Snape will punish you until next year.

Mattheo said, pulling the blanket off your body, exposing your figure dressed only in navy blue lingerie that hugged your curves.

— And that means if you want to graduate this year, you better get out of this room.

Draco said, casting his eyes over you as you groaned into your pillow and shook your head in denial.

— Fuck off.

You whimpered, feeling your body shiver from the cold due to the lack of a blanket. Normally, you wouldn't be so exposed in front of your male friends, but Dave had broken up with you, so you didn't care at all if the three saw your butt, breasts, or whatever—it wasn't anything more than they had grown up seeing.

— What the hell happened to you? You didn’t even drink that much last night.

Theo said, and immediately you turned to look at him with a pout on your lips.

— Dave, he broke up with me.

You muttered, sitting up quickly.

— And it's your fault, so one of you owes me some affection.

As soon as you said that, your legs wrapped around Nott's waist, who smiled mischievously at Malfoy and Riddle, who were standing at the foot of the bed, watching you almost naked, snuggling into Theodore’s lap. It wasn’t a secret that you were obviously the dream of the three boys, and the fact that you grew up together gave them enough freedom to act like that among themselves.

— What do you mean?

Theodore asked, wrapping his arms around you.

— Yeah, he broke up with you because we’re your friends? Was he afraid of getting punched if he broke your heart or what?

Mattheo mocked Dave, and Draco laughed beside him and continued:

— Man, I think he's gay; there's no way he broke up with you because of us.

— No, he thinks we fucked or something. I don't know how many times I heard the word threesome or that you guys wanted to fuck me last night. Man, it was like torture.

You groaned, getting off Nott's lap and out of the bed, walking towards the mirror. You looked at yourself and sighed, rolling your eyes.

— The guy broke up with you because he thinks we want to fuck you?

Theodore laughed, and you gave him the middle finger while fixing your hair.

— Honestly, he's more insecure than my grandfather. Merlin, how did you stand him?

Draco laughed as Mattheo approached you and hugged you from behind, wrapping his arms around you and resting his head on your shoulder.

— Oh yeah, Draco’s grandfather probably fucks his grandmother more than that loser Dave fucked you. Am I wrong?

Mattheo said with a mischievous smile directed at you through the mirror's reflection, causing you to laugh and shake your head.

— Ew, I don't want to think about Malfoy's grandparents having sex.

Theodore grunted, getting out of bed.

— Yeah, whatever, but the point here is that you all can hug her, and I can't? Get your claws off her, Riddle.

Draco grumbled, unhappy with your position, receiving an irritating smile from Mattheo, who let you go and allowed you to go to Draco with a gentle smile.

— Ah, he's a baby, guys.

You said, and Draco glared at you with a scowl.

— Shut up…

Draco grumbled, pulling you by the waist and throwing you on the bed with him on top.

— I’ll put a baby in you if you keep that up.

— See, that’s why my relationships don’t last.

You said, throwing your head back and pushing Draco off you to fall beside you on the bed.

— Nah, this is bullshit because we don’t do this with you when you’re dating.

Theodore said, sitting next to where your head was lying, as did Mattheo on the opposite side.

— I don’t know; maybe I’m just a terrible girlfriend and act the wrong way.

You murmured, frustrated, turning onto your stomach to hide your face in a pillow.

— Y/n, princess, stop blaming yourself for the idiot’s idiotic choice.

Draco shrugged while leaning his back against the bed's headboard and throwing another pillow at your now exposed butt.

— You hardly even come near us when you’re dating. I can’t remember the last time I hugged you besides today.

Mattheo made a mocking expression, thinking David was making false accusations about you.

— You are the most loyal person in Hogwarts, and everyone knows it. If your boyfriends are all insecure enough not to handle being with you because of us, it’s simple—they don’t deserve you, dolcezza.

— Really?

You asked, and as confirmation, you received three murmurs of agreement. Propping your elbows on the mattress, your gaze changed to a curious look that was noticed by Nott and Riddle.

— Hmm, do you guys want to?

You asked another question, and this time the boys’ faces on your bed were genuinely confused.

— What?

Mattheo questioned your question, and you laughed, laying your head on Theo’s lap, who had lit a cigarette. With a look, Nott understood; he brought the cigarette to you, and with a wild smile, he answered Mattheo and asked you.

— Fuck you?

— Uh-huh.

You agreed, hearing Draco laugh while accepting the cigarette from Theo.

— Everyone wants to fuck you, princess.

— Right, but I’m not talking about everyone; I’m talking about you guys.

You said impatiently, sitting on your heels to look at the three on your bed, staring at you without saying a word.

— Come on, I’m curious.

— You don’t understand, do you?

Mattheo, with his dark eyes and a sly smile, leaned closer to your neck.

— Don’t understand what?

— You can’t ask if we’d fuck you when you’re dressed like that, darling.

Mattheo murmured, and you heard Theo and Draco’s nasal laughter as they moved on the bed.

— Okay, so that would be a yes?

You asked.

— Hell yeah.

Theo agreed, bringing the cigarette back to his plump lips and then to yours.

Your smile grew with each passing minute of silence in the room. The three of them were eyeing you as if you were gold, and you couldn’t measure how much that amused you.

— What?

You asked, feigning innocence as if you hadn’t seen the bulges growing in the pants of the three there.

— Alright, I’ll get changed so we can meet Pansy and Daphne. Wait for me a second.

With that, you got up from the bed and heard a groan from Draco.

— Seriously? I’m hard as fuck, damn it.

Malfoy groaned again, and the four of you laughed.

— You’re evil.

Theo sighed, and you turned to look at them with a pained face.

— I think my dick is going to break, it’s so hard right now.

Mattheo said, throwing himself on the bed before looking at you at the bathroom door with a huge smile.

— Why are you looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything.

You said innocently, and Mattheo snorted.

— How am I supposed to continue the day like this?

— I don’t know, jerk off together, think of Malfoy's grandparents fucking.

You laughed again, and their scowls grew bigger.

— I swear you’ll pay for this, dolcezza.

Was the last thing you heard besides groans before you left to change for afternoon classes.

---

I hope you enjoy this

And if you want to read some dirty shit here:

[pomefioredove]

Imagine the overbloat gang as fathers or like proud/panicking that their s/o is having a child and they don't know what to do

Imagine the gang trying to give their kids a goid life and getting baby fever like who wouldn't because the kid is literally a mixed of him and you and they gush about how much they love their s/o and children like ???????

Overbload gang as fathers and i will start violently sob

I do have a weakness for familial headcanons :) future au time??

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ as fathers

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral (no mentions of the child's origins), reader is not specified to be yuu, obviously takes place in the future

I think Riddle is one of the most reluctant to have children

for years he was strictly against them. his excuses were always that children are messy, unruly, his career, his relationship with you... but he was mostly just afraid of turning into his mother

as he gets older and forms his own identity, though, he realizes that it takes a lot of intentional effort to fuck up a child like his mom did, and he changes his mind

I can see him with... maybe two kids

he would never want an only child. after all, the bonds he made with his peers are what kept him going

he is a pretty good parent overall. maybe a little to focused on bedtimes and table manners, but the kids don't seem to mind

Trey and Che'nya babysit often (and it's always disastrous)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

talking Leona into the idea of fatherhood is like diffusing a bomb with a blindfold on. the guy won't even JOKE about it

if you do end up with a kid, it's unplanned, whether that be pregnancy or baby left on the doorstep

but he makes a surprisingly(?) good father. defo a girl dad, he would spoil a daughter rotten. lets her beat the daylights out of Neji because that's his little princess :)

parenting is really not as scary as he thought it was going to be

he has "I'm just resting my eyes" *falls asleep for 8 hours on the reclining chair in the living room* dad energy

the hardest part?

pretending to like vegetables in front of the kid to set a good example

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul would actually be an awesome dad idc. IDC!

he has a good relationship with his mom and stepdad (who definitely babysit all the time; they insist on it), so he has good role models

he's not even worried about how it'll affect his career! Azul has a "do it all" personality: businessman, entrepreneur, father, aspiring millionaire...

and he is so overprotective

he'd cover that kid in bubble wrap if you'd let him

but he's really more concerned about their feelings. sending them to school is much harder than closing a business deal

he's a little sensitive, but he knows he'll have to trust them eventually

P.S. the tweels are NOT allowed to babysit. bad influences

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jamil. ohhh Jamil :(

kids were never on the table for him, even after he met you and fell in love, he just... couldn't imagine it

regardless of whether or not he and his family are in a better place. (for the sake of this story, let's pretend they are. I want him to be happy) he just has so much generational trauma that he knows the child will end up with some, anyway

when, if, he's ready, it will still be a tough process. but worth it

he's such a supportive dad. bragging about his child at any chance, definitely the kind of dad to show everyone the baby pictures without being asked

it gets embarrassing for them as they grow, but he doesn't care

he thinks they're the greatest thing ever, and people should know that!

he is so proud

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil had always wanted to play a father on screen, but once he hits that age, he starts thinking about real life, too

he's gotten where he wants to be, after all: he's still young, he's in love, and his career, as successful as it is, is starting to wind down. so, why not?

he is the most supportive partner you could ask for. despite his schedule, he's involved in everything (yes, even the messy stuff)

he's got a customized baby bjorn and everything

I can see him with... one. just one is enough for him. he also has girl dad energy. he's already looking forward to playing princesses and letting her do his makeup (terribly, of course)

he knows his child will grow to have their own wants and thoughts and personality, and he's supportive. besides, if he has another Epel on his hands, he'll know how to handle them

just... gentler, this time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

for you, anon, I will enterain the idea that Idia may someday reproduce. but there's still a 50% chance that kid is a robot

joking (kind of)

I don't think he'd even really want kids. considering his own unhappy childhood and the whole curse of his bloodline thing. but, like the others, he can be convinced!

I think he'd make a pretty good father, tbh. neurotic, sure, but he's not too clingy, nor too distant

whatever kids he has will be smart, and he trusts them. he likes teaching them nerdy stuff, too (finally, someone he can infodump to!!!)

he probably ends up with more than he'd think. 2 or 3

as long as you never bring up how cringe he was in college, he's rather mature and prepared for anything

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

out of the whole lineup, Malleus is the the only one to have thought your future children while at NRC. daydreamed, really

I know, not surprising. look at the guy. he's practically kicking his legs back and forth while coming up with baby names in game

it was just a fantasy at first, then you became closer, graduated, got older, and...

Lilia began teasing him about getting grandkids, and Malleus took him quite seriously

he knows he's still young (though, at his age, Lilia was already general), but he doesn't want to wait forever. you both have many long talks on the matter

and end up with... as many children as you can handle, basically

Malleus is somewhat of an awkward father (having been raised by Lilia will do that to you)

but he cares. and he tries! very hard. plus, there's always Lilia, Silver, and Sebek around to lend a hand

[hxney-lemcn]

Prince and the Frog — Housewardens x gn! reader

summary: you find yourself cursed and you go to your prince to lift it.

tw: none that I can think of.

a/n: I saw something about the princess and the frog and got inspo. This is so fun, goofy, and lovely, I hope y'all enjoy <3

wc: 1.9k (~300 each character)

Master List

You weren’t sure what you’ve done to deserve this, but even you felt it wasn’t enough. I mean a frog? Really? And the cure was a true love's kiss? Seriously? Can it get any more cliche? You might as well search for a princess and turn her into a frog as well and then set off into a journey of personal growth…you suppose a prince will have to do. You went to the first person you thought could help, time to see if they really would still love you if you were a worm, err…frog.

❥ Riddle Rosehearts

Okay, so maybe Riddle wasn’t technically a prince, but a queen is a step above that, no? You were a little scared of his reaction, but you couldn’t stay a frog forever. Not to mention that someone else had cursed you, it’s not like you turned yourself into a frog. So when you managed to find him he freaked out, mouth agape as you explained your situation. Thank the sevens you could still talk. Riddle’s face soured, lips twisted into a scowl. At first you thought he was going to find a way to collar you in your current slippery state, but he ended up ranting about the person who cursed you, asking for any details that you could provide. The thought of kissing you to break the curse hadn’t even crossed his mind, instead skipping straight to punishing the fool who’d curse the Queen’s rose and making them reverse it. It was then that you learned just how quickly Riddle could sniff someone out if he wanted to, because the effects had been reversed by the end of the same day. (If that doesn’t show you how much he loves you then I don’t know what can).

❥ Leona Kingscholar

…are you sure about this? I mean…yeah he’s a prince and all but he might just toss you mistaking you for a random frog who dared to encroach on his space. The type to argue he wouldn’t have to love you if you were a worm cause how ridiculous is that? Well…not so ridiculous now, huh? Thankfully, you had found Ruggie first, explaining your situation and asking for him to bring you to Leona. Not so thankfully, Ruggie found the entire thing hilarious and had to take a moment to calm himself down. He kept snickering to himself the entire way to Leona, making you want to die, or just stay a frog and live a happy life in a nice little pond and start a little froggy family. When Ruggie managed to tell Leona what was going on in between laughter Leona just stared at you like you were the stupidest motherfucker. Hey! It wasn’t like you were asking to be cursed! Has an internal conflict on what to do. On one hand he wants to prove he’s your true love, and kissing you seems to be the quickest way to get this over with…on the other you are a literal frog. Shooing Ruggie away, Leona bemoaningly gave you the quickest peck ever, making a face of disgust as he pulled away. The transformation back took a few seconds, but the look of disgust quickly turned to a smug smirk, feeling proud that you were truly his. 

❥ Azul Ashengrotto

Okay, so again, not an actual prince…but he excelled at potions, so it only made sense…except he’ll probably make you sign your life away. So maybe not a good choice once again. I pray for you because one if not both of the Leech twins are gonna find you first and they’re gonna have a field day. ‘My, you’d look perfect in one of my terrariums’ Jade would note. Floyd would probably accidentally kill you because this entire situation is oh so hilarious and he forgot he’s supposed to be holding you gently. After the two have their fun (Jade plays with you and his terrarium like you're a doll in a dollhouse), they finally bring you to Azul, laughing their asses off in their own ways. Azul stares at you blankly as the two eel brothers leave, trying his hardest to not laugh. His face is red from concealing his humor, looking to the side to collect himself. He’ll offer you the cure, but for a price. Kiss you? He has a reputation to upkeep you know. He can’t be seen kissing frogs, imagine what that’ll do to his image! No, no, just sign the contract, and to sweeten the deal he’ll have the twins deal with the pest who thought it was a good idea to curse his angelfish. If you really persist, he’ll give in eventually. To be fair, he is also curious to see if you're his true love, but on the other hand he’s terrified if you're not. He doesn’t want to lose you. And to both your delight, you transform back after he gives you a small kiss on your little froggy head…he’s also running laps in his mind at how happy he is.

❥ Kalim Al-Asim

He’s a prince and won’t think twice! He loves you truly, so it has to work! Too bad Jamil stumbled upon you first. Adamantly tries to hide you from Kalim and he feels his headache growing ten times worse. Why did you stupidly get yourself cursed? He asks like you did it on purpose. You didn’t know why the guy cursed you either! Jamil keeps you tucked in his hoodie until he can find time to bring you to Professor Crewel. You tried to fight him at first as you’d rather stay a frog than get detention for something you had no control over, but Jamil knew how to keep a tight leash on the unruly…it was his job after all. Unfortunately for him, Kalim walked into the kitchens right as you hopped out of his pocket. At first he was confused, and then even more confused, and then ecstatic. You hopped over to him, asking for him to protect you from Jamil (who was giving you a major side eye). Then you explained your predicament, and Jamil butted in about bringing you to Crewel. Innocently, Kalim offered to kiss you. No need to bother Crewel if the cure was so simple! Jamil couldn’t stop him in time, as Kalim kissed you the second he finished the sentence. Even Jamil couldn’t hide his disgust for a second at the action. Thankfully, Kalim was your true love as you had transformed back, and he hugged you gleefully. Unfortunately for Kalim, you refused any of his kisses until he rinsed his mouth (lmao).

❥ Vil Schoenheit

Another queen. Best person to go to. He can whip up any cure just as fast as he can whip up any potion/poison. Rook, saw the whole encounter with the other student, and brought you to Vil without a second thought. He already knew everything about the idiot who cursed you so no need to stick around. Vil’s gaze turned into a disapproving stare as he looked at you. Even though Rook tried to stick up for you, dramatizing the whole event as stating how brave you were to face such a curse head on, Vil only shook his head. He motioned for Rook to follow him, not wanting to pick you up. He loves you, really he does, he just can’t afford to get his clothes dirty or stained. He picks the ingredients effortlessly, starting to brew the cure without a second thought. Both you and Rook seemed to want to get on his nerves as you both prattle on about true love and how he should kiss you. He didn’t expect you to be a cheesy sap (he’s lying), besides, don’t you know how many curses list true love’s kiss as the cure? The meaning is pointless. Besides, he doesn’t need some curse to prove his love for you, hasn’t he shown you how much you mean to him already? Or was he lacking, because he didn’t think you’d doubt him. Either way, you’re drinking the cure, he couldn’t risk that your slimy frog skin might make him break out. But don’t worry, if you really have room to doubt his love, he’ll make sure you can’t within the week.

❥ Idia Shroud

Hahaha. Again, are you sure? He’s always holed up in his room, the only chance you're brought to him is if Ortho finds you (or vice versa). At first Ortho found you adorable, cooing at you as he floated to Idia’s room. He thought this was the perfect opportunity to show both you and Idia just how much you care for the other. How could either of you doubt the other if it's sealed with a true love's kiss? It was a brilliant opportunity! (Orthos a little too into this). He barely let his brother welcome them in before barging in and shoving a frog (you) into Idia’s face. At first Idia screeched, falling out of his gamer chair and scrambling away from the amphibian. Was Ortho pranking him? That’s totally uncool, he wasn’t some normie. But then Ortho happily blabbed about you and the curse and then it clicked…YOU WERE A FROG? Now he’s rolling on the floor laughing at you. You’d smack him if you WEREN’T A FROG. After he’s done laughing it up, he then freezes. Ortho wants him to kiss you? B-but that's gross! Who knows what diseases he’ll get if he kisses you. k. Wait, don't go to someone else! Fine, he’ll do it, but he won’t like it. Inside, he’s absolutely terrified. His mind is running a mile a minute. He doesn’t think you’ll actually turn back, someone like him doesn’t deserve true love…so imagine the face he makes when you do. Face a bright red, his hair a bright pink. Oh no, he feels faint. Give him a peck on the lips to finish him off.

❥ Malleus Draconia

Uh oh. Queue the thunder and lightning. Whoever cursed you is the stupidest motherfucker. Malleus is the one to stumble upon you this time, to the disdain of his family. Lilia on one hand wanted to laugh about the situation, on the other, he knew he’d have to protect the stupid human from being smite for cursing Malleus’ love. Silver and Sebek are sweating as Malleus holds you gently in his hands. If he thought you were gentle as a human, he’s being ten times more careful with you in your froggy state. On the outside, he’s silent and brooding, on the inside he’s lamenting on finding you an enclosure where you can be happiest. What type of tank, soil, plants, water…someone please tell him this is reversible. Lilia chimes in before the rain outside can get worse, mentioning true love's kiss is able to reverse the effects. Malleus’ green slitted eyes never move from your tiny form, he finds you absolutely breathtaking even as a frog (this man is down so bad), but he’s nothing but relieved when he hears the news. Human lifespans are already small as is, he would’ve been completely gut wrenching if that time was cut even shorter. Another one who doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. This man would love you if you were a worm. He strokes your moist skin gently as he leaves a small kiss to your adorable head. His entire being, soul, mind and body all belong to you, and if that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is. His eyes shine brightly as you transform back, holding you gently as he promises to protect you from any miscreant that dares even look at you wrong…yeah so the guy who cursed you is still fucked and now you have a protective dragon at your heel 24/7.

[kalims]

⊹ giving them flowers

premise. no plot we are just giving them flowers cause guys deserve some too <3

content. fluff, mini scenarios, azul turns into a silly nerd (affectionate)

featuring. jamil, sebek, riddle, azul.

note. actually accidentally posted this yesterday and got a heart attack (also an actual consistent posting schedule...?)

jamil gives you a look.

he spares a long stare at the bouquet you clutch between your hands, wearing an awfully cheeky grin that's chipping off the scold in his throat. "how many times have I told you this?" he deadpans.

but from the obvious fact that you're holding it. it's not like jamil can do anything about it.

"you don't buy flowers for yourself," he says firmly. I'm supposed to be the one getting them for you. he would like to add.

"they're a waste of madol?" you tilt your head.

he answers immediately. "no, just—" jamil's eye twitches like he's trying his hardest to keep something. "don't,"

perhaps he's being a little too blunt but it makes him upset. is he really messing up in gift giving to the extent where you have to buy something for.. yourself? and jamil is pretty sure gifts are called as such for a reason.

and that they're from, or gifted to another person.

you chuckle in your fist, but he continues to ramble; "also it's hard to care for flowers when you don't know much, i don't want you to—"

"jamil hon, my baby, the apple of my eye, the love of my life, they're for you,"

you say simply, and watch in amusement when his moments stutter before they stop to a complete freeze.

a furious wave of heat crawls up on his back but he's praying frantically. now is not the time. he seethes.

... he just tripped over his words.

jamil reluctantly accepts the flowers after you've finished laughing your ass off, and the only thing in his mind is the love.

okay maybe he should pick up a book about caring for flowers. do they even survive in the harsh conditions of scarabia?

whatever he'll make it work.

you should've expected this.

despite your arm honestly starting to tremble under the stress of holding it out for about 2 minutes straight now, you still attempt a smile—although strained. wouldn't want sebek to find it an unfriendly gesture.

even though he probably already thinks that anyways.

you don't want to color sebek in a way that shows that his only personality is being suspicious to everyone, and of course. the dearest young master he adores. (seriously though it's a little concerning, and you're kinda jealous.)

sebek stares at the bouquet in your hand with scrutinizing eyes, as if to say non-verbally: 'what is this'.

you sigh when he just stares at it like it's a bomb. "it's flowers." you deadpan.

sebek pursues his lips, looks away before looking back. "I can see that!" he says like he wasn't wearing a face that made you think you had to explain. but he just crosses his arms and falls silent with a huff. "for the young master, yes?'

he pauses. "I can atleast acknowledge your gesture, human!"

was that supposed to be good? you weren't given the chance to explain because he continues again; "though I will have to make sure that these aren't anything the young master is allergic to." he nods to himself, as though proud for being so thoughtful.

your eye twitches. you're a little surprised that he didn't even imply that it could be possibly a bomb inside to try and assassinate them.. but you notice a slight tense-ness to his demeanor.

you know cause he's huffed about 5 times in the past 1 minute, he's looked away and he's very clearly sneaking peaks at your hand.

—then he huffs to himself! then it repeats.

"I will take them to the young master at once!" he announces with his loud volume, stepping forward to grab it from you but you ultimately beat him. you're just praying he doesn't find you 10x more suspicious the moment you had wrenched it back to yourself with surprising strength you didn't know you had.

even he looked surprised!

"no, sebek.." you heave. "they're not for malleus, they're for you."

he didn't have the heart to correct the way you addressed the young master before he dutifully exploded.

he's shaking away from you with a wobbling, agape mouth. he could only open and close them dumbly, not beir capable to let a word out.

you suppose he was too speechless because he didn't even say anything when you happily pushed the bouquet to his chest like nothing happened.

for someone who's most diligent in studying, you'd think riddle would be able to catch on easily on the gist of your actions.

but he just blinks when you hold out your hand. pretty gray eyes trained on the bouquet of red roses in your grasp, then onto your face with inquisitive question apparent with the raise of his brow.

"we have plenty of roses in our gardens." he says, as though like giving him... these is the most bizarre phenomenon in his life.

it seems like he feels the need to add. "we grow them."

you smile, the sweet thing awfully tight on your face. "they're for you," you explain. a little perturbed that you need to in the first place, but it's riddle so you sorta understand?

riddle squints. "why?"

you blank. "like... like a gift, for you? you know. cause I want to."

then as if the slowness of the processing going on in his brain gradually speeds up. it's obvious he's probably realized the implications of your little gift from the jolt, then widened eyes who stare in disbelief.

riddle gulps. "for, me?" he asks stupidly.

your raised brows say yes.

it's almost hilarious when he accepts them gratefully and stares at them like you just sprouted a literal white rose from the ground, wrapped it in some fancy plastic, and then handed it to him with a smile.

silence ensues again. riddle notices, screeches in his head to do something about it except he can't, cause his mind seems to be broken right now and he can't exert any words but a stammer.

and he'd really like to relearn how to speak because you're fidgeting on the spot, clearly nervous by his silence.

"sorry," you chuckle. "um.. it's just red roses, not white, or blue, or pink—"

"no!" he blurts out far too quickly. hands stretched out in the air a little as though reaching out to stop you but then stiffly staying by his side. riddle clears his throat. "I mean... this is... very important to me."

you look like you don't really believe him cause he was going off about roses in his dorm before.

he flushes, away from your gaze. "because its from you."

you can barely see azul.

or gauge out his reaction if it's supposed to be good or bad, because you can barely even see his eyes from all the sudden sheen of white over it. did all the smoke in the room just gravitate over his glasses conveniently or something?

you can spot the joints in his fingers twitching but oddly enough he remains stiff in front of you. uncharacteristically silent, which wouldn't really lead to good things.

"hello?" with your free hand, devoid of any flowers with the power of freezing a person. you wave it in front of his face which seems to have done a pretty good job with snapping him out of whatever trance he's in.

the glasses slip down the bridge of his nose but he fixes them at record speed. admittedly with clammy fingers.

azul coughs. "thank you very much." he clutches them tighter, pursuing his lips.

"I know octavinelle is not the best place for warmer places," he starts and a flash of confusion on your face is something he misses. "but I will manage it and find an accommodation for these, around 34 or 35 degrees."

your brows furrow. what.

"hmm yes... a nice vase, I'll use the most pure water there is." he rants. "then I'll fill it up with two thirds of its container and make sure it lives healthy."

that's... concerning.

"I'll have jade clean it regularly." he says and you're honestly more scared for the flowers. "I cannot trust floyd either so I'll trim it by two centimeters at the right angle occasionally when it dries."

he says all that, with a pink face.

you awkwardly stand there taking in azuls apparent plans on how to ensure the lifespan of your 'thoughtful' gift will be extended as far as he can help in to commerce your honor.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

Count Them For Me

Mattheo Riddle X f!Reader

Warnings: Orgasm denial, cussing, unprotected sex, oral(female receiving)

18+ Minors DNI!

He was mad. Angry. Livid. Raging.

Your house had won against the Slytherin team in a quidditch match. And Mattheo was seething. He was always so short tempered. Everyone knew that.

But only you knew that he took it out on you. His head between your thighs, lapping at your poor cunt. He had you completely stripped but he was still fully clothed, just eager to get his tongue on your sweet pussy. But he was even more aggressive than usual.

“Please, Matty.” You whined as he denied your orgasm. You were laying on the edge of the bed, propped up on your elbows as you watched him kneeling on the ground in front of you, your thighs over his shoulders.

“Stop being fucking greedy.” He said as he looked into your eyes now. “Be grateful for what I’m giving you.” He said before pushing two fingers into you.

“Please, Matty, need to cum so bad.” You plea, feeling that orgasm build again, hoping he doesn’t deny you again.

“Oh, you need it?” He said as he watched his fingers pumping in and out of you.

“So bad. Please, Matty.” You beg, your hips moving to meet his fingers.

“Do you remember how many times your house scored on us?” He asked, looking back in your eyes again, thumb moving to play with your clit.

“Uh…” You couldn’t remember. You barely remember anything but his fingers and tongue on you at the moment as you watch his hand playing with you.

“Five.” He answered. “So, I’m gonna deny you five times before you can cum. If you complain again, I’ll keep adding to it. Do you understand that?” He asked, using his other hand to tilt your head to look at him.

“Yes.” You say shakily. You were so close again already. He could tell as he felt your walls tighten around him.

He pulled his fingers out as soon as he felt you about to cum, eliciting a whine, but you bit your tongue to keep from saying anything. “How many has that been so far? Count them for me, or did you already get fucked stupid by me?” He asked, a bit condescendingly.

“Two. Two times.” You say, as you watch him.

“So smart. Count them for me.” He said before pushing his fingers back into you, bringing his mouth back on you. He used his free hand to hold you down so you couldn’t move from him. One of your hands went to his hair, gripping it tightly and that made him groan. He pushed you back to that edge quickly before stopping again. You nearly cried at the sudden loss. “How many?” He asked.

“Three.” You said in a near whine, breathing hard.

“You’re almost done. Keep being a good girl and I’ll give you what you want.” He said before starting up again, pushing his fingers against that spot that made your eyes roll back. Your legs were shaking so hard around his head at this point. He watched your face, every reaction, every small movement. His hand holding you down moved up to pinch at your nipples and that almost sent you over the edge and he stopped everything again. 

This time, there were desperate tears in your eyes. “Four.”

“You learn so well, princess. One more. Be good.” He said, rubbing over your stomach to soothe you. He started up again, lapping at your sensitive clit and pumping his fingers in you. He played with your nipples again, pinch and pulling slightly. He groaned as you gripped tighter at his hair, watching you as you squirm under his touches, trying your hardest to stay still. Your orgasm was building much faster than before. He could hear your whines getting louder, more desperate and he knew you were right at the edge again before he completely removed himself from you. You whined, practically sobbing, as he stood up and quickly shed his clothes.

“You wanna cum this time, princess?” He asked as he settled between your legs, teasing your folds with his tip.

“Yes, please, Matty, please.” You begged, not even caring how pathetic it might have sounded anymore.

He watched you for a moment before pushing inside of you, earning a relieved moan from you and his own soft moan as he felt your walls wrapping tightly around his cock. He was thrusting relentlessly into you, wanting to see you fall apart on his dick.

“You’re so good for me, baby.” He said as he leaned down to get closer to you, grabbing the hair on the back of your head to pull your head back, biting and sucking at your neck. You tried responding, but couldn’t form a sentence, too fucked out by finally getting his cock in you. He leaned back up and moved his hand from your hair to your throat. His other hand rubbed circled on your clit. “Come on. You whined and begged for this. Cum on my fucking dick.” He said.

“So close, so close, please don’t stop, please.” Your eyes rolled back, his grip on your throat making you all the more sensitive to his touch.

“I won’t. I got you, princess. Let go.” He said, this time more reassuring and you finally came, crying out his name like a prayer as your body trembled beneath him. “You’re so fucking perfect, darling. Gonna fill you up, yeah?” He said more to himself than you as his thrusts became more erratic. His hips stilled as you felt him cum inside you, threatening to spill out of you.

After a moment of catching your breaths, you finally spoke up. “Feel better?”

He looked back into your eyes when you said that. “Absolutely.” He said as he pulled out slowly, making you hiss at the movement. “Sorry.” He muttered quietly. “Let’s clean you up, yeah?” He said softly, moving his hands to help you up gently.