#hard to write what ur not into amen

[webism]

runs my hand down ur face…. hey….. that was a great start to a great month…. im so ready 😋

i hope you washed that hand first…….🤨

[pinkaditty]

HI i love your works sm ,,, and i really love the way you write it just brings out soemtnhign in me ,,, but hear me out on leo kurosagi angst where leo keeps insulting pc and pc just took it well until he said something sensitive (maybe sth ab the way she eats? or sth abt her face etc etc) and hurt pc's feelings and he didnt feel bad when pc cried , but when he saw pc going over to sho and sho giving him dirty looks he feels remorseful but he didnt want his pride to crack so he blamed pc , and then when pc started avouding him he started mocking her but in the inside it hurt him and his pride slightly , afterwards he found out he actually has genuine feelings for pc but denies it , until he found out pc is now his bff's gf WOW i NEED him humbled 🤗🤗🤗

Pavlov's Ghoul (Leo Kurosagi x Reader x Sho Haizono; Tokyo Debunker)

hey anon this existing is UR FAULT. (ilysm ty 4 the idea) and i hope u don't mind that I added my own little twist 2 it... hehe! even if u didn't expect me 2 write anything u can't drop a fresh, juicy steak of an idea like this and expect me not 2 salivate and tear it 2 shreds via writing it out.

OMG also TYYYYYYY IM SOSO GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING YIPPEE!!!!!!!!! i hope this is up 2 ur standards anon

a/n: why does this exist? blame anon and my inner need 4 a bitchy boy 2 be humbled amen! also i feel like i've completed my tokyo debunker rite of passage... ive finally written leo angst... nirvana at last.

summary: leo gets fuckin pavloved LMAO! considered calling this "ecstasy" or something bc of the pill line but ohh my god "pavlov's ghoul" hit too hard i fear.

cw: this isn't dark imo but be warned as this is just a little bit crazy, the most insane kind of yearning ive ever written maybe. implied sexual encounters, multiple sexual innuendos, and some odd behavior. MINORS DNI AS PER USUALLLLLL!

Looking for Part 2? Click here!

Sho's kind, reasonably so. Leo knows this. Sho also has an infinite store of deeply repressed anger. Leo also knows this. It's the reason he's in Vagastrom, after all. A deep, roiling anger that seems to eat at him if he doesn't have an appropriate outlet to balance his mood. That's why he's such a good cook, why he's so good at fighting, why he's got an excellent sense of balance and rides his bike smoother than anyone else he knew. He's using these things as outlets for his anger. It's not Leo's fault that the occasional outing to trick and deceive another sexually repressed rich old man for money is something else Sho seems to derive stress relief from. And it's not Leo's fault that Sho continues to stick around with him after those jobs are done. It's never been a problem for either of them, as far as he can tell. At least, there were no problems until Little Miss Inspector showed up.

Suddenly, Sho didn't want to lie anymore. Suddenly, Sho wanted to go as far as to address you with the proper honorifics, ask for your help with setting up his food truck, and even generally spend time with you outside of that. And for what? Some trembling, scared, pathetic girl that knew nothing of the world of anomalies prior to her curse? Some girl doomed to "die" in less than one year, no less? He couldn't understand the kindness Sho showed you. It made no sense, nor any difference. You'd be dead soon, so what did it matter?

It's got to the point where he's begun to randomly put you down with petty insults and biting remarks. They usually consist of things like "Oh my god, even preschoolers know Anomalous Biological Basics! Come on Inspector, is your head screwed on right? Not even the Captain is this stupid." or "You remember your ability is useless when we need it, right? You'd be nothing more than a burden on missions if you can't even control this power. " or even "God, you're such a basic loser. Can't you find something else to do with your free time instead hang around Sho like a lovesick puppy? You're starting to look like that dog that's always around Kagami." and worse insults. He gets the occasional sidelong disapproving glance from Alan or even a slight furrowed brow from Sho, but it didn't matter to Leo. So long as he could slowly plant seeds of doubt in his fellow ghouls and put you down to satisfy his ego, even an odd look was negligible.

He couldn't even stand looking at you. The uniform they'd chosen for you was awful, didn't even highlight your curves. He hated the way you styled your hair, and always thought he could totally do it better. The way you seemed so relaxed around other ghouls pissed him off, why couldn't he be good company? He found you repulsive, unable to resist glaring at you from the corner of his eye whenever he could. He had to get rid of you somehow. He would never admit to feeling threatened by you; instead choosing to focus all that energy into believing you were simply throwing a wrench into his plans to live an easy, get-away-with-anything university life.

It's all come to a head today. Leo thinks he's had enough of seeing you at the food truck after hours, chatting it up with Sho. It's like he can't even catch this guy alone anymore. Before he knows it, he's made a beeline for the truck. His brand new shoes scuff on the brick path in his rush, and eventually begin to stain green on the grass, his brisk stride tearing through the verdant lawn. He tries not to let his anger show on his face, but it's evident in his posture and pace. He forcefully sidles himself into the conversation, leaning on the service counter next to you, not even waiting for you to finish speaking before he pipes up. "Wow, here again, huh? And here I thought a basic bitch like you would know her place! That mouth of yours must be good for something if he keeps a chatterbox like you around."

The chill settles into the air almost immediately despite his candid tone and relaxed, smug smile. He's so focused on your reaction that he hardly notices the look Sho gives him, twisted with displeasure and confusion. He watches as you visibly falter, your lopsided smile fading into a barely-there frown. He stares, unrepentant, laughing internally. This was the reaction he wanted.

He turns towards Sho and raises an eyebrow at his look. "What? She can take it." Sho's expression visibly wavers, and Leo fully expects him to back down, as he usually does. But instead, Sho turns to you and his face grows pale. Leo rolls his eyes, assuming Sho is totally overreacting, and turns to you. He stiffens at your visible tears. Okay, totally not what he expected, but come on. This was the insult that made you cry?

Leo notices Sho is at your side in record speed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and gently drawing your hunched form away, giving Leo a harsh look. Leo simply scoffs. As far as he was concerned, your reaction was pathetic. It wasn't going to stop him from having any fun.

This. Under no circumstances should this hurt. At all.

Leo had noticed you'd been avoiding him. You would slink away if he so much as entered the same room as you. You wouldn't look him in the eyes if he approached, keeping your expression impassive. Sometimes you'd just outright ignore him. It was beginning to become a bit of a nuisance. He couldn't properly mock you if you weren't there to witness it happening, or didn't give him the reaction he wanted. It was odd. When he faced these feelings head-on, it almost felt like he wanted your attention somehow, even if he didn't quite want it to feel like that. A nagging feeling told him that maybe he went too far with his latest insult. He didn't want to admit that, but something told him he did. It was in the way both you and Sho acted around him.

Sho was missing a lot of Leo's calls lately, sometimes not even bothering to call back. Leo partially understood, what with the food truck business booming and all, but he didn't appreciate being made to wait for his own best friend who's usually at his beck and call. Not to mention the flat, terse responses he would get from Sho more often than not nowadays. Leo knew Sho was miffed with him from last week's incident, but as far as Leo was concerned, things still ended in his favor. He hadn't seen you around Sho much anymore, which means he could go back to how things were. No more pesky little honor student to reign upon his days any longer! Sure, there was the biting underlying feeling that maybe he'd screwed things up, but one ride on the back of Sho's motorcycle, going wherever Leo wanted as per usual, and he was living the dream again. No way everything would change over a silly, insignificant insult.

For a short while, he begins to get bolder, openly mocking you when he does come across you. His originally surface-level remarks become rather personal, even using your eventual death as a way to tease you. From "You know, I'm surprised you haven't done anything to change up that unflattering look, considering you're dying soon. Ever considered dressing up a little? You might get some attention before you die." to "Hey, Little Miss Inspector! With the number of men you talk to around campus, I'm surprised nobody's written you off as a whore yet!", and worse, of course. He continues to get no such reaction out of you, and it frustrates him to no end. Why couldn't you just frown? Shrink away? Or even retort something just as scathing back to him? Your lack of entertainment towards his endless ridicule reduced his motivation, and slowly, it ended up dying off. Soon, he left you alone altogether, not talking to you unless necessary, mimicking your actions. In a way, some part of him hopes maybe this will be what gets your attention. Even if he can't quite admit to himself that your attention, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, is what he wants.

It's late, but Vagastrom students don't go to bed until far later. And Leo needs a favor.

His crushing lack of success in garnering any sort of attention or reaction or rise from you had driven him to a point. He didn't want to apologize to you or anything, but this new habit of you ignoring him was beginning to stoke his displeasure. In his pondering, he remembered how easily Sho captured your gaze and wondered if maybe he'd have any idea of what Leo could do to at least put an end to this stalemate.

Leo's reluctance shows in the way he drags his feet on the path to Sho's room, less than eager to confront him for his opinion on something so shamelessly trivial. Why was he wasting his time with this anyway? Surprisingly, the lack of a solid answer to that question did not stop his trek. A twinge in his chest told him he knew exactly why he was "wasting his time".

In the month it had been since he'd made you cry, the nagging feeling had only gotten harsher. His mind kept flickering back to the shock of your tears and how he'd not bothered to consider it much further. An uncomfortable guilt had made itself known starting then. He never really expected you to cry; he just wanted a mild reaction. He wanted your eyes on him, flashing with anger, just for a moment. Your ire was a saccharine pill laced with ecstasy that he'd gladly crush with his teeth to speed up his high. Maybe it'd be too much to say he got off on it, but he enjoyed the way you used to roll your eyes at any comments from him a little more than he cared to admit. Now, he wouldn't even get that. It'd be rare for you to so much as make fleeting eye contact with him, not that something as small as that would be enough for Leo. Part of him was willing to accept that maybe, he'd gone too far. Maybe. But how else was he supposed to monopolize your attention when you give that out so freely? To his best friend, even?

He didn't know it was possible to covet something so terribly. He found himself wondering why he couldn't catch your attention in the same way as the other ghouls? In his quest for the same attention you gave so freely to the kinder, softer ghouls, he found another version of your attention. It was negative, but it was attention nonetheless. Your sweet, honeyed rage seemed to fill his cravings and then some, so he continued to devour it under the guise of "chasing you away" or "putting you down" or "satisfying his ego". In truth, for whatever reason, there was a rather bothersome and persistent envious longing, a covet, for your attention. Leo wants to vomit. A part of him denies it still, pushing his needless feelings to the back of his brain. He had something to do, and he ought to focus on that. What good would mere wallowing do?

He makes it to Sho's room and almost considers turning back. He stares at the door, his expression morphing into a complicated look. He shifted his feet, his slippers sliding against the floor. It was quite clear he really did not want to do this. At all. He sighs and grumbles indignantly, putting his head in his hands in an attempt to gather some courage. This couldn't be that hard, right? Just in, ask Sho a question, get an answer, then out. The only reason this was easier said than done was just because it could potentially show Leo was capable of feeling remorse, which would make this conversation leagues harder than it needed to be. He shakes his head and straightens up, preparing to knock, when he notices something.

Sho's room was... unusually quiet. Usually, Leo almost always heard some loud music or a cooking show running in the background, but he couldn't hear anything this time. Sho couldn't possibly be asleep. As late as it was, the only person who Leo knew for a fact could stay up past him was Sho, regardless of how much sleep he had gotten. There was no chance Sho was asleep. Believe it or not, Leo doesn't like to spy on Sho. But curiosity overwhelms him. What could he possibly be doing that would render the whole room in silence?

"Haxs," he whispers, listening closely.

The first thing he hears is the cling-clanging of Alan hard at work on a car in the garage. Not the sound he was meant to be focusing on. Then he hears endless jeering and loud insults shouted, though they're all muffled like they're underground. Another pit fight? Still, not the sound he's looking for. He sifts through the sounds he hears before he settles on the one coming directly from Sho's room.

Voices. Groaning, strained voices. The sound of wet skin against wet skin. Panting. Sho's panting, specifically. He could tell by the slight nasally tone of it.

Leo felt his face gradually warm. Christ, of course it'd be this he'd be up to. Leo muffles a laugh into the collar of his pajamas, keeping his hand clamped over his mouth as his body shook with mirth. When he finally calms down, he slinks off to the corner down the hall, and hides himself there, shamelessly still listening to it. Sho's a sly dog. Leo certainly didn't expect him to be getting up to anything this soon. He leans his body against the wall, crossing his arms and drumming his fingers on his arm, waiting for Sho to finish. He smirks to himself, as though enjoying the vocal show.

...

He had to admit, whoever he was with had gorgeous moans. He'd have to ask Sho if he'd be willing to pass this girl's number. He could use a couple things to get his mind off of you.

...

Okay, he had to stop listening to this now. He lifts his stigma and holds his hands over his ears for good measure, partially trying to hide the furious red blush across his face. As pretty as that girl's moans were, he was not going to listen to his best friend's climax. No thanks. He huffs out an impatient breath as his cheeks cool down, leaning his back against the wall, leaning his head back until it hit the wall with a dull thump. Now he just had to wait it out. He knew damn well Sho would never let a girl stay over. He'd never hear the end of it from yours truly, Leo.

Leo's right. It isn't long before he hears the door to Sho's room click, and hears murmured voices travel down the hall. He smirks, rushing down the hall in the opposite way, so it doesn't look like he was listening the whole time. He listens, waiting for a cue of some sort.

"Shame you have to go, you know." Sho's voice. Laced with relief, pleasure, and a thick tiredness. Leo's skin crawled. He could practically feel the smile in Sho's voice.

"It's not so bad." The girl responded with a light and playful tone, her voice seemingly much more put together than Sho's despite all that moaning. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but Leo brushed it off. Must be someone he shares classes with. "I've got things to do anyway. But it was nice to spend some time with you, Sho." Eagh. Leo internally hopes this girl isn't the type to get easily attached.

"...Yeah. Same to you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Finally, he heard the girl's footsteps trailing down the hall, heading in his direction. Leo hurriedly pulls his phone out of his pocket, making sure the screen was bright as he flipped through the latest trends. He made a point of not looking up until he heard the footsteps nearing him.

He looks up, prepared for a simple glance, but ends up being rooted to the spot.

It was you. Of course, it was you. Who else would be taunting enough?

Despite himself, his gaze remains glued to you, his head turning as you walk past him. For a moment, Leo thinks you're just going to ignore him again. Then, suddenly, your gaze meets his in a flash, and he stiffens, almost out of fear. The way your eyebrows crease and the way your lips twitch downward almost makes him salivate. You were clearly displeased to see him. Even so, he notices you don't slow down, continuing your way down the hall, not bothering to crane your neck to look at him.

Leo remains rooted to the spot, watching your figure as you leave. His jaw hangs open slightly, his chest heaving with shocked breaths. His eyes are wide open, pools of gold reflecting your retreating form. His hand trembles as he holds his phone, the latest trends left neglected in the wake of a single mean-spirited glance from you. He feels his heart pound mercilessly in his chest, as though confirming what he'd tried so desperately to deny.

All at once, anger and arousal seem to grip him simultaneously. Anger at himself for feeling arousal from a mere negative glance from you. He couldn't possibly have craved your attention so viscerally he'd happily accept mere scraps. And yet here he was, a lap dog, watching you as you leave as though silently begging for another glance, another chance to watch your eyes burn with that familiar, delicious anger, another meal to satisfy his starved heart.

For a moment, he would have gladly followed you, and pestered you to death, just to irk you and become a willing victim of your wrath. Anything... just for that attention.

a/n: wow. no stop why am i kind of in shock at the poetic lines i kinda think i did a great job! but 4 whatever reason it's always the writing i think was total shit that does actual numbers *sob*

aghhhh in any case. no i don't have an excuse 4 this. my requests are still technically closed. i just... couldn't help myself... so consider this a freebie. regardless though if u like my writing feel free 2 fill the fuck out of my inbox idnc i love hearing from y'all.

also TUMBLR KEEPS TURNING OFF MY REBLOGS!!!! GRAH!!!!!! tumblr hates me y'all they keep catching on2 me 4 writing porn :( so please if u really wanna show appreciation and tumblr won't let u reblog, leave a comment! those make me happy :)

anyways. usual note that i adore likes, comments, and tagged reblogs!! please tell me how much you like my writing, i love to hear it and it keeps me going! until next timeeeeeeee!

EDIT: I FORGOTTT QUICK EXPLAINATION: im assuming everyone knows pavlov's dog and the whole classical conditioning theory. this story is basically that mixed with the mere-exposure effect.

neutral stimulus: mc's presence

natural response: leo's arousal/excitement

response-producing stimulus: mc's anger

mere-exposure effect: psychological effect in which a like or dislike of things is developed merely due 2 familiarity.

[lorarri]

★ . . . 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐄 , 𝐙𝐆𝟐𝟒

summary , a fashion icon is drawn out of writing retirement by an equally iconic 8 time world champion which leads to love blossoming rather quickly

pairing , fashion editor! zhou guanyu x fem! f1 driver! reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | sol’s masterlist | f1 masterlist

vouge

liked by yourinstagram zhouguanyu24 199,370,936 others

vouge The wait is over: introducing zhouguanyu24 first return to writing in 6 years in this issue of Vogue. Through tabloid headlines, struggles of inequality and a drive to prove herself, the story of yourinstagram is a triumph, in the world of motorsports which the protagonist has flourished by winning 8 world drivers championships and has allowed herself to grow creatively and expand beyond the world of Formula One. As the F1 driver, singer, actor, fashion designer, creative, and philanthropist considers her next moves – a new album, movie and the hope of a 9th wdc among them – she tells Vogue’s new head of editorial content #zhouguanyu what living her truth means now in the April 2024 issue. Click the link in bio to read the interview, and see the story in full in the new issue, on news stands Tuesday 19 March.

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user very normal abt this. very.

user YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

user MOTHER ?????

user SLAYED THE HOUSE DOWN

user ate soooooo hard

user THIS ALBUM IS ABT TO BE 🔥🔥

user UHM DEVOURED???

user mhm. mhm. now that’s what i’m talking about.

user someone on twitter said thank god for ur parents, I too, say thank god for them.

user my mother everyone.

user fell to my fucking knees.

user this is my religion, amen. 🙏🏻

user what god do i have to pray to 🧎🏽‍♀️

user BRO.

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yourinstagram . 3hrs ago

seen by lewishamilton charles_leclerc 98,273,472 others

f1

liked by yourinstagram lewishamilton 78,398,479 others

f1 a fashion legend and a new wag has graced us for the weekend brining iconic fit's too

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user how did this guy get one chance miss Y/N

user 😩😩😩

user fell to my fucking knees.

user this is my religion, amen. 🙏🏻

user HOOOOOLYYYYYYYY

user the new wag is pulling out all the stops huh

user it couple in the paddock

user him and Y/N make such an iconic couple

user ate.

user slayed the house down boots

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[simpinberry]

Hii xx

could you do bella ramsey hcs where reader is jealous of bella because shes with other girls but then they end up together in the end 🫶

heyyyy, i��m backk. i tried to make this as healthy as possible while also adding a bit of spice to it. i hope i interpreted this correctly <3 should i also write jealous!bella hcs? hehe lmkk

established relationship, jealous!reader, kisses and cuddling

bella is fine as hell (we all agree, can i get an amen) so naturally lots of people want them. bella is very much in the public eye and has got promotional duties as an actor. she has to go to lots of events like fashion shows, premiers, award shows and interviews. they’re gonna meet lots of ppl and you’re usually extremely proud and happy for them! u pride yourself on not being the jealous type.

usually bella doesn’t text when she’s working/at events, mostly because she gets too overwhelmed and would rather be focused and present where they are. so you decided to go on twitter and check up on how it was going. unfortunately smth about a video of bella with a bunch of girls at a fashion show didn’t sit right with you. they were surrounding her and getting too close. bella didn’t do anything wrong and was being super polite as usual but the girls were all extremely pretty. they were all so elegant and looked so incredibly cool. it was both dumb and understandable at the same time. you trusted bella for gods sake. you shrugged the thought away and tried to go on about your day.

you ended up calling your best friend to rant about the whole situation because you couldn’t get it out of your head, “listen it’s not like i wanna go to these events and it’s fine that she talks to other girls i just ugh, i’m so jealous and i hate it”. your best friend told you exactly what you expected her to, “bitch just talk to them istg, you’re overthinking it too much”. ofc you spent another 30 mins ranting about it but you knew you were gonna do the healthy thing at the end of the day.

“honeeeyy i’m homeee” you hear bellas mocking american accent before you even see her. she finds you curled up on the couch binge watching willow. with a quick kiss to your forehead she heads upstairs to take a shower after such a long day. god, u have to talk to them about this.

by the time bella gets out of the shower you’re already settled into bed, comfy as hell tbh. crawling her way into bed, they lay next to you, facing you. “babe, you awake?” “MHMMM” you had to make your move now. “how was the fashion show today?” bella being the cutie she is, tells you everything. talks about her favorite looks, a fit she took a picture of because they thought it would look good on you and how she ran into her past costars. as much as you love hearing about her day you’re overthinking and trying to find the perfect moment to talk to her abt ur jealously and all the girls and how pretty they are and how you’re scared and worried and god so so jealous and how you feel- “can i confess smth?” bellas face drops and she’s full of concern. “DID U EAT MY LAST MUFFIN CUZ ISTG” oh, that’s what they’re worried about. “no, not this time….. i’m, i mean i was, kinda super jealous today. cuz like you were with all these pretty girls at the show and they were surrounding you and god- ik how fine you are and how lucky i am but i just felt,,,, like rlly jealous”

iwl bella was a bit shocked by your sudden outburst. you’re rarely ever jealous so this was a first, maybe a second. “mhmm i understand, i didn’t think you were the jealous type but i get it” she takes your face into her hands, you snuggle into her touch. “i know it’s hard dating someone in the public eye, i’ve actually embarrassingly asked pedro for advice on this before. thank you for telling me though, my love. a little bit of jealousy is normal. in myyyy expert opinion it means you need some reassurance and lottts, lottts and lottssss of kisses”

this idiot. they always know how to turn smth like this into a good thing. “yeah sure i mean those girls were nice and everything but at the end of the day i only want you and i’m just as lucky to have you darling” they bring you into a sudden kiss. melting into the kiss, you tangle your legs together to be as close as possible. It was a tense, reassuring and urgent. she poured a lot into that kiss and you gladly accepted it all.

i’d like to think she’d make an extra little effort in the future to make you feel more secure. whether that’s with physical affection, words, time or gifts. bella is yours and they wanna make sure you always remember that.

[champgnesny]

well, sadly i finished the second season of ‘good omens’ a few hours ago and after a really long nap, here we have:

“some things about the second season of ‘good omens’ that really stuck with me and i’ll think about forever and ever (amen)”

• beginning of creation and my baby crowley being just so excited about the galaxy, and stars, and her little jumps and shouts, she’s my silly girl

• crowley protecting aziraphale from the stars rain (or whatever was going on in there) with his wing and later on, aziraphale doing the same

• aziraphale caring about crowley since the beginning of ages is just so heartwarming

• “how much trouble can i get into just for asking a few questions?” my princess just wanted to know what was all of this for, is that so wrong?

• aziraphale thinking crowley was talking about him when he said the stars were beautiful pls

• their little lunches through all the season, at the pub, the cafeteria, the other little french stablishment, etc

• aziraphale panicking while explaining crowley why is there a “naked man” on his library 😭😭

• crowley recognizing “trouble” on aziraphale voice just because they know each other that well

• the amount of times “our” and “we” was used to by crowley and aziraphale themselves, talking as if they could not live without the other (they actually can’t)

• crowley refusing to help aziraphale and aziraphale being like “okay, i can’t make you help me, i’ll be fine” and crowley simply throwing a tantrum just to be back and help him

• crowley’s tantrum, yes, but specially the way he stomps on the ground like a little kid

• their little apology dance lmfao (how much cuter can they get?)

• the way they worked together to make a silly little small minuscule miracle once and ended up being way too extra like it wasn’t that hard!

• crowley introducing aziraphale to food

• also, crowley in the turtle neck (i would’ve also used any excuse to put my hand in his chest like that, aziraphale)

• the magic trick and how the person aziraphale thinks of when they say “trust” is automatically crowley, they make me so ugh

• aziraphale not only stealing the proof photo, but keeping it and showing it to crowley

• crowley actually lending aziraphale his car, like he’s so down bad it hurts (if anyone ever had a doubt of how much love this man has for his angel, then this must say something)

• crowley on the library, carrying books, his little sweater, throwing the books everywhere, she’s just so cutesy, i need to eat her

• aziraphale and crowley being domestic and cute and in love together, my babies

• crowley making hot chocolate for gabriel (plus that one time he went all protective on aziraphale)

• the way aziraphale has a dairy (and probably many other) where he writes about crowley, and he just talks about her with so much love, excitement, cherishing their memories together

• the way neither crowley, nor aziraphale ever deny the gay accusations like they just stare and say nothing because they are!

• crowley following aziraphale everywhere when he was organizing his ball pls

• aziraphale and crowley dancing 💓💓💓

• crowley and aziraphale trying to get nina and maggie together when they can’t sort out their own shit like bffr and talk abt ur feelings instead?

• aziraphale telling nina that he has his own plans but he just lets crowley save him cause it’s makes him just “oh, so happy!”

• crowley’s heaven outfit and the way he was walking like she’s just everything to me

• crowley getting choked up when he tried to say he’d like to spend eternity with aziraphale

• crowley actually willing to talk about it and aziraphale just hitting him up like “hey let’s go to heaven together!” like bro, kindly and very gently, what the fuck?

• the kiss (boy, you needed to talk, there’s many time for kissing later; or there was, who knows)

• “i forgive you” lovely, you have so much audacity but this wasn’t the moment haha! (still love u, aziraphale, i promise)

• “you idiot, we could’ve been… us” i think them telling each other to kill themselves would’ve hurt me less

• crowley in the car, still waiting in case aziraphale decided to change his mind (i threw up)

• aziraphale literally looking like he’s going insane while leaving crowley like he’s genuinely just losing it more every single second that passes

• conclusion, they are very much in love, they just need a break and many, many deep talks about their feelings

“honorable mentions to: the whole gabriel and beelzebub plot <3 it was so cutesy, i love them”

by the way, here’s part one of this mini post series, in case you wanna check it out! ⭐️

[princessbrunette]

agree with ur points so hard especially the tagging one like u can tell how long someone’s been on tumblr just by their excessive tagging jfc

also so random but i wanted to ask what your dream career is or what u see yourself doing. you write so well and really seem to love it so i was just curious if it had anything to do with that

yea…… like why am i seeing you tag draco malfoy cnc smut under a rafe drabble?

& omggg thank you!!!! blogging for a website / app / brand is something i’d love to get paid to do. i just love blogging sm and with my job that might be possible soon amen

[supercrazyangel4]

HI RAXZ IT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED AS IT'S BEEN A WEEK BUT!!! DURING ALL THAT I DIDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR FIC/S It's just one of those pieces of fanwork that leaves so much of an impression on someone, that it just ends up sticking and changing what you initially thought of a character, because of how well done the things most would just move aside or chalk up for simple reasons. you seem to be the only person who really does get Chara like no other, and I hope it's not strange to say you write them almost as if you know them or you are them that I'm sorta afraid nothing else will live up to how you written them and asriel in ur fan fic LOL but no matter... i will prevail. I love how you were able to portray charas self hate and self harm, i love how you didn't hold back on the ugly side of it and how far and disturbing it can be especially for someone as young as chara. There's just something so realistic about it that don't see alot anywhere else. 

I also like how you made asriel be childish, childish in a way a kid can be bratty or selfish(?) in the first half, that might not be a good descriptor but my puter is lagging from the many many words I've written for this ask so I'm making do </3 the point is you really know how to write these kids. Also enjoy that the tone of each fic is starkly different from one another, asriels pov feels grounded in comparison to charas inner thoughts

HOPEFULLY this all makes a little sort of sense, I've read both of ur fics three times so I'm praying it does, amen. ANYWAYS……. Love ur brain, would love to hear any thoughts you have on utdr in general if you ever decide to share em…. godbless. perhaps i couldve worded this better in a diffrent time but oh well, we ball. i hope u have a great day emoangel44🫡 will be looking forward for ur new utdr stuff

FIORE!!! i have been waiting for this day.. thank you so much. ive had several people say that i really get chara including like, literal veteran chara fans. its very nice to hear, theyre pretty important to me as a character. which is rather funny because the only analysis ive ever actually written on them that wasnt fanfiction was an essay on how i think theyre kind of actually a little poorly written LOL. to understand someone you have to know their weakpoints i guess... even if on a meta level.

for my asriel interpretation i try to incorporate a lot of "flowey-isms" as i say. the way i see asriel is that he was always a bit of a bratty, selfish kid that struggled with low empathy. he chooses to do what he thinks is right because he knows its right and not because it provides him with positive feelings himself... i think thats even more admirable. as opposed to this is think chara is high empathy which is part of the reason they did what they did. asriel is just way more of a people person than chara and so comes off as more understanding, charas just naturally a bit off-putting no matter how hard they try not to be.

chara and asriel are quite different people so i tried to make that clear in how i write their perspectives. chara is kind of stuck in their own head and lives in a world with walls of misery and think prose. theyre very direct but also very metaphorical. its a weird combination but it gets easier to write when taking in account their canon dialogues (one day youll get a fic from me with a more light hearted tone where chara will get to make their dog puns and nerd jokes. maybe). this is also the reason i write them with a strange mix of first and second person. it just feels natural for our narrator.

asriel on the other hand is much much more of an emotional person and is much less formal in how he thinks. he has a lot more filler words and "i-think"s and "i-feel"s and such.

i figure ill write a bit on what inspired each fic.

for my chara fic, i actually started writing it while bored in class. it was inspired a narration line in one of the fights in undertale, the one i used for the summary. the main thing i wanted to play with was metaphors and metaphors upon metaphors. mainly related to charas self hatred though the lense of soil and dirt and flowers and gardens because of course.

for my asriel fic, the main thing i wanted to play with was, quite obviously, writing from asriels perspective. i had already written 2 fics from charas perpective (the 1st one isnt as good as the other two and was mostly written as a characterization and perspective test) so i figured it was time to give him a turn, especially since it we only realy got a peak and asriels personality through charas eyes and i wanted to show it off more. the other thing that the fic ended up centering on is something my friend said to me about how they felt my chara characterization was screaming to be understood under all the hurt. basically the thesis of this fic is "asriel did not fully get chara but he was also the closest anyone ever got by a long shot which counts for something".

if youd like to see my other undertale stuff, here is some poetry ive written about chara (and asriel), here is my art tag which is full of stuff with them (alternatively, just use my undertale tag if you dont want art of anything else), here are my chara and asriel playlists that i always listen to while writing, and here is that chara essay i mentioned.

speaking of my thoughts on utdr... i actually dont post the majority of them. but id absolutely love to talk about them. so if you (or anyone else) have any questions about my thoughts on utdr or want to start a discussion about it Please do. Im actually begging you. i need more engagement guys send me asks. thank you for reading this absurdly long response

[formulawonu]

hi!! Just wanted to say that i love ur writings!! and is it okay if u do svt as highschool roles if possible? ty!

seventeen & high school

a/n: hiii thank u so much <3 i'm glad u enjoy them!! 🙈 this was so fun to think of ahahaha what do u all think who would u guys be

seungcheol: the bad guy. even he doesn’t know he ended up with the stereotype but it stuck - what can he do? is actually really nice. probably smokes at the back of school during lunch with vernon lmao

jeonghan: the smart kid that does give their notes to you. believes in the power of collaboration. tests are a stupid way to measure one’s intelligence anyway 

joshua: the nice guy. gets along with literally everyone. even the people you don’t want to mess with love him. has a million people saying hi to him when he walks through the hallways. good for him

junhui: the floater. i actually had a hard time thinking about this bec he could literally be anything and anyone he wants to be. floats around and sits in different lunch tables every other day. everyone accepts him

hoshi: the school mascot. dont get him wrong he could 100% be part of any of the school’s teams but his joy is in half-time shows performing for the crowd and hyping them up. 100% gets competitive when the other school’s mascot shows up  

wonwoo: the smart kid that does not give their notes to you. believes in the power of LEARNING by putting in the honest work. amen sir

woozi: the band geek. always bopping his head and drumming his fingers on whatever surface is in front of him (even without earphones on). people wonder what music he’s listening to in his head 

minghao: the art hoe. oh u think he’s taking notes down during class? ur funny he’s actually drawing the sunlight leaking in through the classroom windows

mingyu: The Golden Boy™️. everyone loves him. everyone has a crush on him. the principal has a crush on him. people from other schools have a crush on him. no further comments from me

seokmin: RESIDENT THEATRE KID. LITERALLY FIGHT ME ON THIS.  

seungkwan: student body president. part of multiple clubs. always running from meeting to meeting trying to put things together. ~he wants to leave a legacy~ please tell him to rest

vernon: that one quiet kid that always has headphones on and ends up getting caught for vaping. idek 😭 100% friends with cheol

dino: he’s THE class clown. and he didn’t choose to be it nor does he want to be it. but he’s naturally funny and everyone loves him. pls take him seriously actually

[crimeronan]

had my original fiction opening critiqued at irl group tonight! under a cut because this is long and it'll be painfully boring for people who have not been following my Anxiety Saga (and who do not care about the OCs), but tl;dr: very positive :3 we went a half hour over our usual time just discussing the story.

the prose, imagery, and exposition were all highly praised, ppl said the style is easy to read & a few even said it scans as fully publishable right now

didn't have a chance to get into the whole magic-as-autoimmunity meta or a Million Other Things because this story is a BEHEMOTH. but if i write more then i can get into it at other sessions :3

UNANIMOUS praise for the depiction of magic as painful/costly, one guy says he usually hates fantasy magic bc the stakes feel too low. but these didn't

characters were much more polarizing. everyone had a slightly different interpretation of and different emotions about the various narrators

also nearly every time someone said "this character thing didn't work for me" or "i hated this character detail," someone else would pipe up like "actually that was great for me personally. you should keep it" which made me laugh. THRILLED to accomplish this

pretty strong majority opinion that sol is an insane sociopath, i got some 'i'd like to see more depth in her' feedback until one woman said "my problem with her is that she's supposed to be super powerful but then her narration is exactly as neurotic and hypervigilant as your reader proxy's" while i was Vibrating With Excitement like YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED THE THING I DID ON PURPOSE YOU DID IT YOU GOT THE UNRELIABLE NARRATION IM YELLINGGGG

pretty unanimous empathy with and concern for the reader proxy narrator who's in a Very Bad Situation. some devastation upon finding out i don't plan for her to narrate the entire novel. about half the group was like "but... but everyone else is. everyone else is an evil sociopath :( i like the girl :(" sorry guy.s. i promise i'll make you want to read about them before i rip ur girl away

i cut some explicit/graphic threats of sexual and physical violence because i thought they went too far, despite this being psychological horror. three ppl gave me the feedback "i need to see some kind of explicit threat to really know the stakes here" i'm never questioning my dark edgy shit again. every character is fucked forever. amen

ONE READER DID CLOCK DEVIN AS TRANS and it was the Same One who clocked sol perfectly. she was like the mention of scruff jarred me so much that i googled the dictionary definition of scruff. what's the deal there & i was like oh. transgenda. & she was like I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT

everyone else: wow i did not notice that at all. and/or i assumed the scruff was leaves or twigs not stubble

OH AND!! i got a note that my character dialogue is all extremely distinctive. which was Such A Relief because i Know my fanfic dialogue is distinctive but i wasn't sure if i was replicating that with the OCs. it's hard to figure out how people talk & make it different from how other people talk when you yourself are only one person with one speech pattern.

very good positive experience. the problem now is that if i want to talk about other aspects of the story like...... literally everything, literally everything about everything to do with the story..... i gotta. i gotta write it. oh god.

[inkdemonapologist]

Another Sammy x Grant thing, is that i think it works best as a cycle ship bc i can totally see ink!sammy being able to convince ink!grant to join his cult, and after all, theres nothing more romantic than sacrificing a poor sheep/waster to the Dark Lord together!

OMG........

This is the point where I feel like you can do whATEVER U WANT LMAO because there is no ink Grant. We don’t know what became of him or what he might be in Ink Hell. Is he a lost one? A butcher clone? Some as yet unrevealed toon? We have zero idea and that means it’s free real estate!! LET UR HEART RUN WILD AND FREE, ANON

While I do suspect Grant and Sammy would need some shared idea or entity to believe in, for the way I tend to interpret him, I’m not sure Sammy would find sacrifice a romantic date idea once the ink has started to mess with him, (unless you’re the one he’s sacrificing maybe). Sammy wants to be the one who’s noticed when it comes to the moment of sacrifice; he appoints himself a Prophet even though the Ink Demon himself has shown no acknowledgement of this title, and while of course he insists that his lord will set “us” free, there’s sort of an implied… cruelty in “love requires sacrifice” combined with “can I get an amen?” I know we’ve heard those lines so many times that they’re memes now, but I think they’re so iconic because they’re really evocative of the mindset of a cruel religious leader; in the midst of hardship, he reminds those who follow him that if they really love their lord, if they want to be part of the “us” that will be saved, then they will sacrifice. It’s manipulative. He writes on the walls about sheep coming to slaughter and it’s ambiguous whether that’s a warning or a promise or a threat. All this to say that I don’t think Sammy’s looking for an equal partner in this desperate place – he may look after the lost ones, and they may genuinely value him as a source of hope, but he’s ultimately looking to secure his spot next to his Lord and save himself.

Which isn’t to say you couldn’t get some fun messed-up relationship dynamics out of Grant’s loyalty and usefulness being enthusiastically praised by the leader of his cult. But Sammy’s eyes are on his Lord, not Grant. It’s possible he could fall in love with someone, and that those feelings could begin to finally challenge his obsessive focus, but I think it would be so hard to be more than a means to an end to Ink Sammy, more than just a fleeting affectionate feeling that can’t matter more than the Demon. Sammy’s using up so much of his emotional energy deceiving himself, I don’t know how much he has left to offer another person in authentic emotional vulnerability unless he’s freed from the Demon.

[elscaptive]

**I would like to properly introduce myself to you ladies and gents

> I go by el as you can see...

> I luv bands (that's what my blog is all about tbh)

Here are some of my fav bands/artist right now that I casually listen to. Can't say I'm like a superfan of some of them, but i do enjoy and listen to their tunes --(ps. kinda random?...so bear with me \˚ㄥ˚\ )

Guns N' Roses - This my main one since day 1 lol. I luvv this band sooo muchh (╥﹏╥)

**My fav songs from them:

Think About You [:AFD]

My Michelle [:AFD]

Rocket Queen [:AFD]

(or basically the Appetite for destruction album (○ﾟεﾟ○) )

Dust N' Bones [:UYI 1]

Perfect Crime [:UYI 1]

Don't Cry (Original) [:UYI 1]

Estranged [:UYI 2]

Get in the ring [:UYI 2]

You could me mine [:UYI 2]

Hair of the dog [:TSI]

Better [:CD]

Whooo... That was really hard.

Mötley Crüe - luv these dudes a lotttt (＊￣︶￣＊)

Metallica - yeah

Ozzy Osbourne - dude's just cool ya'know?

Bring Me The Horizon - thanks to AmEN i became a fan of them (๑¯ω¯๑)

Falling in Reverse - tdimiy &lt;3

My Chemical Romance - no explanation. just them

Nirvana - their mtv unplugged just made me fall in luv with the band more

David Bowie - all i have is luv 4 this man I've never met. luv ur music dave

Queen - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—oh

The Beatles - obladioblada (luv me sum british folks)

AC/DC - they shook me all night long

Led Zeppelin - started listening to their music more when I started using their song for a chapter i was writing

Foo Fighters - i luv My Hero so much

Post Malone - he's just a chill guy and also, he's cool

Tyler The Creator - can be goofy but creates good music

Childish Gambino - im obsessed with Bonfire

The 1975 - _(:з」∠)_ don't ask

The Neighborhood - when i wanna feel diff lol

Rex Orange County - my fav artist from 2022

5sos - luv this band a lottt. kinda had a small phase in 2022

Daniel Caesar - his songs just don't miss GOSHHH

Black Veil Brides - first emo band that i heard as a kid

Justin Bieber - im not a believer. i always hear his songs when i was a kid. and i gotta say, they're awesome. always go back to his old stuff when i wanna feel nostalgic (lol, yeah "nostalgic")

There are more, definitely. But i can't fit them all, can I?

Honorable Mentions

[bands/artist i don't listen too much or don't listen to at all but like a lot]

Dave Mustaine - he's just ginger that's it. a bit grumpy but whatevs

Mick Jagger - M A J E S T I C

Tom Keifer/Cinderalla - gorgeous dude. i luv nobody's fool sm

Aerosmith - &lt;3

Small facts about me...

I like to write random stories. Most of them are inspired by the songs I was listening when I wrote them. Could be from the title, the lyrics or the feel from the song.

Also write songs. Most are unfinished. I'm trying to write with an accompaniment of a guitar, but I'm still learning, hoping to shred soon lol (i got a long way)

I like Axl. I think we all have an inner axl rose inside of us. We all get pissed by little things, could be cause by past experiences or trauma. So, kinda relate to him just a tiny bit.

Wannabe rockstar.. gosh it's kinda sad. Idek if it's possible in this time.

.

.

.

You reached the end. Thanks for reading all that. Bit boring? Meh. That's all you really need to know

If you have any questions or interested about some stuff. You can ask me on my ask box. (don't ask weird stuff tho... you'll be blocked)

[cannibalruikasa]

Is fhere an actual reason why both of them are cannibal? Like, are they just like that or is there something wrong with their DNA, or something like that? I'm genuinely curious about it because writing about such topic is, not gonna lie, pretty much interesting. Also writing about any kind of mental problems is generally hard, so I appreciate your work for being able to write about a sensitive (and by most people disgusting) topic. I have to say your artstyle is cute too! Totally a fan of it already.

Also, don't they get worms from eating raw meat? Isn't it pretty dangerous, especially human meat? Or is it the casual "fanfic logic" that prevents it from happening and maybe not even real so? Or,, is it because they're not the same as non-cannibal humans? Maybe eating raw human flesh wouldn't effect Rui, it would help him, but for an example; if Minori ate it, it could effect her the opposite? I really don't know, but yeah!!!

Keep up the good work (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

i would like to lie to you and say there is a reason and i cant tell you because spoilers but to be honest...... theres no reason i just wanted to write cannibalism and i wanted to write tsukasa suffering bcus of it... and i dont want to spoil the story but im goign to spoil the story now and say there IS no reason for the cannibalism.. it kinda just is... and tsukasa has to deal with that ig

its purely self indulgent as a cannibalism fan all i think while writing is "what would i like to read if i wasnt writing it" and i wouldnt care too much about worldbuildign.. so i hope you dont too amen... but also it wouldnt make any sense if i tried to rationalise it... it would just become knock off tokyo ghoul (if it isnt already idk i havent read tokyo ghoul)

but tbh,, even if i havent thought about it... the implications are kinda alread ythere yknow.. since cannibalism is a "required action" it wouldnt make much sense to get the associated diseases.. it would be a bit counterproductive i think... ur right though maybe it would be different for minori

and also just.. i dont wanna deal w them getting like mad cow disease or some shit.. just pretend its ok..... i really wanted to focus on the psychological effects on it (if it isnt obvious lol) bcus its something im actually pretty passionate about... not cannibalism but the moral and psychological effects of killing and eating someone..

im a big politics fan and i HATE more than anything when someone says they "would kill osmeone if it was legal" or would "like to try eating someone" because NO YOU WOULDNT !!!!! im an athiest, im an anarchist, i think killing people isnt just wrong but somethign that people, by default, dont WANT to do. by evolution, we are not supposed to want to kill someone and if u say u do u r LYING to seem edgy

i also, coincidentally, love reading about cannibalism... so i combined the two w this fic (/≧▽≦)/

sorry for disappointing you w my answers.... but thank you for enjoying my writing and art,.. i hope i can keep making things you enjoy o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

[itgirlgyu]

(i stalked u too) and i just want to appreciate your fic rec blog, the way you give put long paragraphs, just adoring the fic of other content creators here! i wanted to thank you for your efforts, ur an angel! <3 i appreciate what you’re doing since interactions in this platform are rare (ive been here since 2019 and i previously wrote for nct)

and ur carrd as well????? majestic BDHSHS AMEN 🫶🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 im happy to make new moots with u lovely!!! to more interactions soon 🫶

thank you so much, I really wanted to create the ficrec blog because I'm like an avid commentor ( don't laugh I was from wattpad and we had a thing called inline comments where we could comment on literally everything) but since tumblr doesn't have this thing, it was like hard for me to appreciate fics since I cant just go, good fic appreciate it, I have to take everyone through the tsunami of emotion I felt lol that's why i started using it! omg you used to write nct back in 2019!!! my peak with them was then! omg I canr wait to read your nct fics ( matter of fact I had an urge to write a nct thing today)

my carrd gets on my nerves these days but I'm glad you liked it! I'm so happy to have met you!!! yes to more interactions !!

[chososcamgirl]

HEYHEY ALPHA SIGMA ‼️‼️ HRUYYEUHEH?? IM DOING VERY SKIBIDI (it’s Halloween tmrw and I’m SO PUMPED 😈😈) DAILY CHECKK IN TIMEEEEE!! IM SO GLAD TO BE DOING THESE AGAINNNN YAYYAYAY

NOOOO I HOPE UR TUMBLR IS WORKING FINE NOWWW DONT WORRY ABT THE OTHER ASKK U CAN IGNORE IT IF U DO FIND IT LOL 😭😭

STARTING UNI IS A GOOD IDEAAAA 🙂��↕️🙂‍↕️ IT COULD OPEN UP NEW JOB OPPORTUNITIES AND GIVE U MORE EXPERIENCE BUT MAKE SURE TO NOT STRESS ABT IT TOO MUCH‼️ AND WORKKKK HEBRBDHE IT CAN BE SO DRAININGGGG ☹️☹️ I HOPE U GET THE PROPER REST YOU DESERVE POOPIEEE 💔💔

MEETING UP WITH A LONG DISTANCE FRIEND?? FUNNNNNN🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ IM SO HAPPY UR EXCITEDDDD TELL ME HOW IT GOES‼️🙏

OH YESSSS I NEVER FINISHED DEMON SLAYER SO ITS BEEN ON MY LIST TOOOO BUT IM PLANNING ON WATCHING AOT SOMETIME 🤗🤗

I GOT MY IPHONE UPDATED TO IOS18 AND ITS SO FUN 😭😭 I CAN FINALLY USE THOSE TIKTOK EMOJIS (OR RANDOM EMOJIS I MADE) TO MY FRIENDS (it reminds me of discord SM LOL)

YESYES PICTURES 😈😈😈 be ready for some freaky ones… heh… 😛😈‼️

SJAP WEEKEND AND SJAP HALLOWEEN???? HELLO??? IM SHAKING RNN OMGGG 👀👀

NOTHING REALLY INTERESTING IS HAPPENING IM JUST ATTENDING SCHOOL AND STUFF SOOO 😭😢 BUT THATS KINDA GOOD TOO SINCE ITS NOT THAT CHAOTIC.. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO FINISH SINCE I TOOK SO MANY DAYS OFF 😭😭

MAXINE MINX OMGGG THAGS SO CUTE‼️🙏 I LOVE MIA GOTH SHES SUCH A GOOD ACTER I HAVENT WATCHED MAXXXINE YET BUT ITS DEF ON MY WATCH LIST🙏🙏 IVE BEEN BINGING HORROR MOVIES THIS MONTH AND I WANNA WATCH A FEW MORE BEFORE OCTOBER IS OVERRR

HEBEBDBEBBEBRB I WAS WATCHING A HORROR MOVIE AND THEN MY ALARM SYSTEM WENT OFF… I THOUGHT THE ALARM SOUND WAS COMING FROM THE MOVIE AT FIRST BUT THEN FREAKED OUT WHEN I REALIZED IT WAS MINE INSTEAD 😭😭 BUT IT WAS JUST CUS A COYOTE TRIED TO GET IN SO IM FINE 🙏🙏

OKOK AOTD ANSWERR 😈😈 IM BEING SIMON FROM ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS (matching with my friends hehehehe 😛) IKK ITS REALLY BASIC BUT LIKE WE DIDNT RLLY KNOW WHAT TO DO SINCE IT WAS LAST MIN 😭😭

QOTD… WHAT ARE/WERE UR HALLOWEEN PLANS??? (Milking out the Halloween questions rn since it’s still October here 😓😓）

NRNRBRBEJDNBE HAVE A SKIBIDI DAY IYAAA ILYSM MAKE SURE TO GET PROPER REST 🫶🫶

Us btw 😈

- 🐺/kiko

MIKOO!!! <33

do u prefer me calling u miko or kiko… lmk <3

CHECK IN YAY!! ME TOO <33 I LOVE ANSWERING THESE (seemingly late, but i’m gonna get back in routine now that things are back to normal!!🗣️)

IM VERY GOOD!! i just cleaned my entire room and made my bed (fresh sheets AMEN 🙏) and i’m gonna have a shower after this🙂‍↕️ i’m so tired because i woke up at 7am to a missing cat😭 he was like missing for an hour and he didn’t have his collar on (because he takes it off???? like he’s very silly) and i was having a full panic attack/meltdown and went through the forest at the back of my house in my pyjamas because i was actually hysteric😭 i found him though!! (he was not in the forest…) but yeah that was an adventure…😓😓😓

THANK YOU ANGEL!! <33 i’m just trying to enjoy my free time whilst it lasts and trying to write as much as i can because i know with the course im taking next year + work it’s gonna be so full on😭 but we ball!!🔥🔥🔥

yes i’m meeting with her jan next year.. less than 80 days… im so keen like im gonna scream!!!🙁🙁 PLS me and u both… we shall watch it together.. spiritually 🤞🤞 OMG I NEEED IOS 18 i have yet to update it bc i have like no storage 😒😒 i say this as tiktok takes 35gb of my storage… oops!! BUT OMG WTF THAT LOOKS SO COOL OK DELETING SOME OF MY TIKTOK DRAFTS TO GET THE UPDATE😈😈💪💪

EEE I HOPE YOU LIKED THE NEW CHAPTERS + HALLOWEEN SPECIAL YOU MUST TELL ME ABOUT IT AND UR FAVES <333 🔥🔥🐺🐺🙂‍↕️ ahh that’s okay!! don’t go too hard with the school catchup! you’ll get it done eventually, prioritise yourself first though <3

YESSSS!! i must show u photos soon i actually loved how they turned out LMFAO and YOU MUST WATCH IT!!! it’s a little mature.. but if you like thrillers and horrors then i’m sure you’ll like it🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🤞WHAT THE EFF??? a coyote… we don’t get those here so i’m #thankful🙏🔥 but that would be so alarming and scary PLS i would’ve pissed myself😭 ESP WATCHING A HORROR MOVIE LIKE HELLO???

YESSSAA🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ no i love all costumes esp group ones idc chipmunks eat EVERY TIME!!🗣️🗣️

AOTD‼️ i just went trick or treating with my neice and cat.. i was supposed to go to a party but didn’t end up going bc something major happened😍 but trick or treating was lowkey fun!!💪💪 WBY🫵

QOTD‼️ (i’m gonna start doing these too LMFAO) now that halloweens over… what is at the top of your wish list for christmas!! <3

ILY MIKO!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF <333 AND HAVE A SKIBIDI SIGMA DAY!!

[sixflame438]

YAH MY DEMENTIA WAS IN MY ASS AGAIN AND I LITERALLY FORGOT BUT WHY YOU CALLIN ME HAG HUH ✋😒😒😒😒

UNACCEPTABLE

ill be the one crushing ur dusty ass fr fr ZONT play w me istggggg amen

SMAU BANGER INCOMING JHGFDSFGHJK FR COMEBACK WHENNNNNNN im in hiatus rn so i wont be uploading soon (sry guys i lied abt updating the dani fic its still in 600 words rn and I haven't even got to the middle part like bffr) BUT I have like 6 drafts rn so when my writing eras back I'm gonna be sure to feed my litol children well TRUSTTT

I once tried to do puzzles (it was the sunflower painting of van goh) but yknow I dunno how to even do that shit and ended giving up midway bc lemme tell you I was STRESSED) learned it wasn't for me the hard way hahaha 😀👍

if im a hag ur the old granmama form of evil step mother from snow white (dw ill support ur dusty crusty ass bc I'm a gud friend duh)

im kidnapping u w me if u ever even try to find and hunt my ass istg I'm a gud girl everyone will believe if I said YOU went down bc of natural cause 😇😇😇

THE OLD GRANMAMA FORM OF THE EVIL STEP MOTHER IS CRAZY FUCK YOU MEAN THATS ME HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS CLEARLY THATS YOU

Hiatus she said, wait till its revealed shes on indefinite hiatus instead 🙄🙄 GET THAT DANI FIC DONEEE

I have 4 half finished drafts and i was going through them the other day omg what the heck was i trying to write 😭😭😭 TRUST ILL HAVE ONE DONE AND OUT BY THE END OF THIS WEEK ILL LITERALLY WRITE YOU SOMETHING IF I DONT GET IT DONE LIKE PLZ IM ALRDY AT LIKE 5K I THINK GIVE ME A LIL TIME

Teehee the smau im working on currently is a collab one 😁 first chapter is dont but i cant do anything more bc ive gotta wait for her to do the next one and shes on holiday rn 🤦‍♀️(sssshhhh dont tell her im revealing more info, she might come for me or worse not send me my presents)

But that reminds me i have another smau idea i can work on in the mean time so 😈😈 fr the only thing stopping me is the choice of love interest 😭

Dude i love puzzles ☺️ i legit did this 1000 piece one in 5hrs 20mins it was soo nice.

YOU KNOW WHAT ISINT NICE?? DOING ALL THAT JUST FOR A PIECE TO BE FUCKING MISSING WHAT THE HECK????? AND ITS NOT LIKE OTS ONLY HAPPENED ONCE I SWEAR EVERY PUZZLE I OWN IS MISSING A PIECE AND I DONT KNOW WHY 😭😭

[willowtalks]

Chapter 01: The beginning of 2024

I promise to my self. I will comeback here every weekend to throw up all the blabbering inside my heads. Sorry not sorry for every grammatical mistakes that i wrote here, if you are a judgemental grammar-nazi kinda person, please.... repent. HEHE

I inspired by a figure who keep writings in his medium about his day, story and his life which i wonder how was that real between all the business that he had. Beside of it, i figure out my new hobby since my hobby in arts and drawings are related to work, somehow its hard to find the satisfaction anymore. Well, that is why i come back here to get along with the words as what i did before.

I believe one day my writings will bring out some restropective feelings when i read this again someday. For my friends who read this, I know for sure that you are in your boredom, mischievous and idk what ure figure out since I rarely share about this on Tumblr, but if you read this, please tell me! (even though the writer-me-my self don't want to be found)

In the end of last year, i had made a big change to transform my self which i never regret my decision. I signed out from my previous company to have a sabatical rest to re-store and re-stack my brain. Gratefully, i figure out all the challenge that my psychologist had told me before. I get closer with my family, especially to understand about my mom and dad, i found a plenty of new friends with new perspective which was more conservative than my circle in Jakarta and also i got a chance to experience what-people-said the butterfly inside stomach. I re-arrange my routine with exercise and jogging. Now i know my self more, even i understand how to handle the sound inside my brains, (even though sometimes they still won the war.)

As the first child of the family, i should face the reality of living my adolesence life, therefore i applied to the new company where i can evolve more than before. Not so long after my job seeking time, i got job in NGO which concerned in education field. I have vision that this company could be my stepping stone to get master degree and scholarship. (Amen!)

The beginning of 2024 is the real battle after i hid out from all the responsibility. Welcoming the new era of me and my work as a graphic designer, the back and forth revision and yap maintain the interaction with the work-mates. All in between, i also need to maintain my mental health so i could still be a functional as a person even though the monster feels like want to jump out to hold the knife. LOL. At first, its hard until the time im writing this paragraph, i still keep the battle inside, the time of living alone but i know i would passed all this conditions.

Gunung Putri, the place that i lived now. Actually, its a liminal space for me. The chirping of the birds, church bells and people's laugh reminiscence me with the childhood memories that had been living inside me. The place where i experienced the first traumatic era of my life, where i figure out how the adults could be such a living evil. I still remembered how the kid inside me said "Im scared" when the first time i took a step on that holy yet traumatic building. Now i could release the forgiveness toward all the things that happened in the past, but im not sure if i can clearly actively comeback. Nothing has significantly changed in here, i still love the scenery, the shady trees, muddy soil that is still there from the past. Its giving me a sound of solutide (sometimes) Its better than living in the middle of metropolitan city. I guess!