#happy pride to these 2 gayasses | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astermacguffin · 4 years ago

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Sorry for churning out another self-indulgent AU that will take me forever to work on, but I'm obsessed with the concept of a destiel enemies-to-lovers logician AU. (Yes I already have a joenicky/kaysanova version of this and frankly I don't care lol)

LISTEN. I know it's more popular to put Dean in professions that get his hands involved (mechanic, baker, etc.) rather than very conceptual/academic professions BUT. Dean would absolutely love the elegant simplicity of formal logic.

Easy, guaranteed, and clear-cut answers that you get out of following simple rules? Dean would LOVE that after having such a difficult and complicated life.

I think Dean would specialize in the large family of modal logics, specifically deontic logic—the logic of obligations. Dean "miserable pile of familial obligations" would unfortunately enjoy this field. (No, he won't be an ethicist because he has fucked up ethics; moral philosophy won't fix him. Maybe some therapy and gay sex will.)

Castiel, on the other hand, is a logician/theologian/metaphysicist. He went to college for a religious studies degree but it turns out he likes the application of logic in God-talk more than the God-talk itself, so he switched specializations. He's one of the leading scholars in process theology, liberation theology, and the controversies surrounding S5 modal logics and the modal ontological argument.

So. Dean and Cas are both modal logicians with different specializations. Here's what happens:

They both have presentations for a logic conference the next day, so they go to a bar to unwind and maybe get laid.

They meet, have a one-night stand, and part ways.

Turns out they're both attending the same conference. They're not fully convinced with each other's ideas. Their playful bickering in the snacks table eventually devolves into a full-on fight. Someone has to physically restrain them.

Their rivalry eventually gets notorious in academic circles. They perform "academic fistfights" by constantly writing critical response papers to each other's works. There's wikipedia articles documenting their extensive history of flirt-fighting and the surprising amount of new literature written because of their public feud.

To be clear, they're not writing garbage work just to dunk on each other. They're genuinely contributing to the academic discourse. But if you look at their bibliography of works, the staggering amount of stuff they've written about or in response to the other is...alarming.

Absolutely no one discourages their fights because (1) it's entertaining and (2) it's producing a godawful amount of insightful literature. There's bets about when they're going to fuck it out (because no one knows about their one-night stand except maybe Sam, who finds this entire thing stupid but amusing).

One time, they get drunk in an afterparty. Cue some aggressive and very homoerotic banter. This eventually devolves into an elaborate game of gay chicken. Whoever gives up first must write an article where they support the thesis of the other.

They're both "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" at each other. They constantly flirt and seduce one another, waiting for the other one to finally give in. They do this in conferences as well.

Fellow logicians almost prefer the shouting and near fist-fights over their very inappropriate flirty banter in public. No one dares ban them in events because (1) again, they're entertaining, and (2) they're big-name academics.

Since they're both fucking competitive, they constantly try to one-up each other. They ask each other to go out in dates and stuff. Eventually, they start to genuinely learn things about each other and go "huh. You're not so bad after all."

When they first collaborate and publish their joint work, everyone loses their mind. Are they friends now? Did they finally fuck? Both of them find the reactions very amusing.

Eventually, they start hanging out outside of their competitive dates and simply as friends. They still haven't kissed or fucked ever since. When they first both realize that they're falling in love, they're like: "Shit."

Unfortunately, they're in too deep. These bastards are too prideful to be the one to admit their feelings. Both Dean and Cas talk to their brothers about this. They're both told how stupid they are.

This all comes to a head when Cas finally gives in and fucks Dean. Cas is about to confess his feelings when Dean starts chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Cas asks. "Well, I mean. Guess I should expect that article soon, right?" Dean says in an attempt to hide his fears with playful banter. Cas squints at him. "What article?"

Dean stammers in response. "I–you know? The bet we made? The bet that started it all? That's... that's what this is all about, right?"

Cas' face shuts off, devoid of emotion. "Right. Yes. Why don't you leave now so I can start writing that, hmm?" The smile on his face is big, but Dean knows it's fake and wrong.

"Cas, wait—" "DEAN. Please. Leave my apartment." Reluctantly, Dean dresses up for his walk of shame, leaving the apartment.

The next morning, the article comes out. It's short and not written very well. Everyone is confused about the sudden drop in quality.

They stop writing response works to each other, which alerts the entire academic community. They also visibly avoid each other in conferences now. Their fellow academics take it back: they would prefer the insufferably horny flirting over this cold, silent treatment. Everyone feels the tension and it's not as lively anymore.

Cas is miserable because he thinks his feelings are unrequited. Dean feels miserable because Cas has since stopped replying to his texts and calls.

In his last-ditch attempt to get through Cas, Dean writes a celebratory primer, summarizing Cas' entire bibliography and important contributions to the field throughout his entire career. Interspersed in the writing are personal reflections on Cas' character as a thinker and a person, as well as little in-jokes meant only for Cas' eyes. It's the most sappy and gayass bibliographic summary ever written.

Cas, of course, reads this and understands the intent behind it. He finally calls Dean, they meet, they hash things out, admit their feelings, and finally kiss. Yada yada happy ending

Later on, when they finally publish their first joint work as a married couple, everyone loses their minds. Again.

#spn #destiel #destiel logican au #this was so much fun to write #destiel fic #aster writes

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