#happy mayday if you catch my drift

[readbetween]

she's my mom who has never done a single thing wrong in her life (has twice left men at the altar). and i repeat,

[babytstark]

Mayday - S. Rogers

Based on the song Mayday by Cam

A/N: i am a monster ngl

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader

Word count: 1k

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: breakup, angst, crying, fighting

---------------

"You are overbearing, I'm not in love

But, I don't wanna tell you.

We've been contemplating how to give it up,

But I can't convince you."

----------------

It had been a hard couple of months, that's for sure. Between helping Wanda deal with the loss of her brother, dealing with the consequences of Ultron, and your now failing relationship with Steve, you were exhausted to say the least. You and Steve had been drifting for weeks. It had started with less sex that tapered off to none. His newest thing was no longer sitting next to you in meetings or at dinners. This one had stung the most, was he now embarrassed to be seen with you? 

Then there were the little things he did daily that hurt you. He spent his time critiquing your clothing choices. 

"Are you sure you should wear that out? Isn't it a little revealing," he asked you as you exited the bathroom.

Your eyes glanced down at the black dress you were wearing, "Hardly? It's just a little cleavage."

"I just wouldn't want anyone to think you're trying to catch their attention," your heart stung at his comment. 

You had tried to reason with him, hoping he would see that you were falling apart. He refused to give you the time of day, saying, "We are fine (y/n), I don't know why you're worried." And with a peck on the forehead, he left the room. You stood there in shock at how blind Steve was becoming to the world around him. Sure, he was focused on saving the world and maintaining peace, but he was neglecting his home life, mostly you. 

--------------

"You gotta let me leave.

I'm lying here, inches away 

But you can't hear me call mayday."

---------------

Things between the two of you had finally come to a boiling point one night after Steve had returned from Lagos. You had heard what happened from F.R.I.D.A.Y., and your worry for the super soldier grew with every passing second. When he finally slumped through the door, he looked like absolute hell. Tear stained cheeks, bruises littering his skin, and dark circles caused your heart to clench. 

"Steve, listen..", you began.

"No, (y/n), stop. I don't wanna hear it from you either. I know this all got messed up and it's mostly my fault," He snapped at you.

Your mouth gaped open before you spit back at him, "I was going to offer you some words of encouragement, but forget it. I'm sleeping in my room tonight."

As you stood, his eyes shot to you, "Don't you dare walk out that door, (y/n). I'm not joking around."

"Or what, Steve? Or what. What are you gonna possibly do? I've been sitting here alone trying to fix our relationship before it goes to shit and the best you can offer me is a forehead peck and a dinner later that week? This is pathetic. I deserve better than this," the tears were free falling at this point.

"Is that all you can think about is you? The world is constantly needing a hero to save it from the next danger. I have to be there for the world. It's my duty."

"You know what? Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved with you. Look at what it did to my dad and mom. Superheroes will never be able to have happy relationships. I'm done Steve. Save the world, but I need someone who can be there for me. All I asked for was a little attention and some quality time when you can."

"Fine. Walk out the door."

You took one last shaky breath and gathered your things, before walking quietly out the door. 

-----------------

"It's either sink or swim.

We tried so many times, for worse or better.

It tears my heart in two to leave it all behind

And say goodbye forever."

-----------------

You barely left your room, the darkness of the world around you seeping into every crevice of your soul. The world seemed so much happier and safer with Steve. Wanda came by a lot with food and forced you up to shower and brush your hair. Nat stopped by occasionally with well wishes from the group and little treats for you. 

It was nice to have all of your friends living with you to help get you through this. But, how were you supposed to ever leave your room again when you lived with your reason for crying? Your dad suggested building a floor just for you like an apartment. You declined, and promised him you could still be professional.

The days were spent laying in the dark, crying until your head hurt. Your mind flashed with all the happy memories you had with Steve. The time you went to the orchard and picked apples in the fall. The first time he told you he loved you. The first night you spent completely together. It came and went in flashes, each leaving you more heartbroken than the last.

Then the news came from Wanda that Steve and your father were at odds over some accords. The plan was for there to be a full civil war between your father and people on his side, and Steve and his people. Your heart clenched, knowing your father was holding against the super soldier. Your mind flashed to their safeties as Clint entered the room, looking for Wanda.

"I'm sorry (y/n), Cap didn't ask me to grab you."

"It's fine Clint, I think it best I just stayed here and out of the way."

"Okay, Wanda we better get going. Cap needs our help."

With that, the two left, leaving you alone once more. Your mind couldn't stray from the fact that Steve sent for Wanda, but not you. You knew it best you not get involved, but he doesn't even seem to be hurt at your split. Your head hit the pillow as you spent another day crying until you fell asleep. 

---------------------

"Mayday, mayday

This is an emergency.

Mayday, mayday

You've gotta let me leave.

I'm lying here, inches away,

But you can't hear me call, mayday."

[fulcrumstardust]

writing tag game

thanks @andorerso <3

20 questions, writer’s edition:

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 17, which are solely SW fandom

What’s your total AO3 word count?

592 056 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Listen, I’m not gonna list all my fandoms because a girl needs a bit of mystery but here are some:

Harry Potter

Star Wars / Rogue One

Fullmetal Alchemist

Vampire Academy

Black Sails

(most of it is not online anymore, but it existed at some point.)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

war dogs

1653 days without luck

the girl with the stardust eyes

transient stars

bring me home

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least I try hard to, sometimes it takes me an embarrassing amount of time and sometimes I simply don't because /mental health issues/ but then I try to make it up on the next update. I think it’s nice to reply to people to let them know that I appreciate their support and without them I would stop updating, but also understand that sometimes I put all my energy into writing the update and there’s nothing left of me. It’s about mutual respect!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s actually unpublished, it’s a rebelcaptain fic that involves major character death when a rescue mission goes wrong and one of them sacrifices themselves to save the other. Very angsty indeed. Sometimes I just need to ugly cry, ok. I don’t know if I have the guts to put it out there.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

basically everything else, I guess ? I don’t know, 1653 days is pretty happy considering they’re married with a child and seeing the end of the war together, but is it proportional to the angst during the way ?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I don’t think I ever will (unless it’s a crossover with my own OCs lol)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I remember getting some mean comments on a HP fic saying it was just badly written but I was 16, what did you expect my dude

I also get some nasty comments on a reylo fic from time to time that I just delete because I don’t have time for dipshits. It’s very rare though so /dabs/ (special mention when it starts with “I would love it BUT”, it’s ok babe, I love you too <3)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

When am I not writing smut is the better question. I love erotica, I love good one if you catch my drift. That’s actually what got me into fanfics because there’s no porn with a female gaze outside of fandom spaces. I love to write the kind of smut I think should be more out there, I’m on a personal vendetta against bad sex dynamics in mainstream media (and YA specifically but that's for another day). Killing patriarchy one orgasm at a time. It’s all about empowerment and a safe place to explore oneself.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I didn’t make it to that level of stardom lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, a couple with @halflingmerry and @briamarie38, it was awesome! It reminded me of my old days on RPG plateforms, I love the cooperation aspect. Lots of fun! I’m a slow writer so it takes the right kind of partner to work w/ me but I was lucky each time to have great co-authors to pull me through it. I’m looking forward to doing it again when I have some time.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Eh… Rebelcaptain, probably. They really have that thing I love.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

This one fic, Seelonce Mayday. Quick recap: Jyn is an Imperial hostage and convinces Cassian to get her out after they had a one-night stand while he was undercover. Once she’s free, Cassian goes on about his rebel spy life and they part ways. They stay in contact through all his missions and form a strong bond (comlink chatter only, hey see the title?) but she doesn’t tell him she’s pregnant until months later and it all kinda blows up in their face with bad timing. I talked about it before, it’s all about forming an attachment backward and developing a love that’s primarily familial… sort of “that’s my pack”, “I would die for you now even if we’re still strangers at the core” kind of shit. Anyway, first chapters still unpublished because I don’t know if I can write the whole thing but… it’s there. *sigh*

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and action scenes, I'd say.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions! Vocabulary, in-between scenes, sometimes I also struggle with balancing what I know and what the reader needs to know. I hate to spell things out but I can underexplain things, I think. I don’t know, you tell me if you’re a reader of mine! I always accept concrit.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love it, I’ve always done it one way or another. Being multilingual is a part of me that I tend to write into all my characters. I love coming across another language in fics but it has to feel organic and that’s a tricky thing to pull off. I prefer when there’s no translation, so either I look it up myself or I don’t (always assume the reader won’t), but if another character is going to translate then just don’t use another language, what’s the point. I think it works best if the reply lets you guess what was said, or if it’s something meaningful that comes back later.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It has to be Harry Potter, I think? Or maybe….. DBZ (hey, I said I won’t disclose my full legacy lol)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Noooooooo, that’s so hard! *sad noises*

At the moment, probably stardust eyes because I really love to feel my heart being ripped off my chest by all that angst (knowing full well how I will resolve everything in a big clash of emotions). And bc I love to write military settings in general, in case you're new here haha

Well, that was fun! Tossing the ball to @briamarie38 @halflingmerry @incognitajones @imsfire2 💌

[quirklove]

Songfic for Shoto or Dabi with the song 'Stay' by Mayday Parade? I really loved your Sero one with Hard for Me 😭😭💓💓💓

I went with Dabi bc I was feeling burned boi hours!!

also took inspiration from an older post of mine... which in turn was inspired by an ASMR video XD

also also DAMN I love Mayday Parade but I hadn’t heard this song till I got this request?? and it SLAPS holy shit I’m crying

please let me love this crispy burnt chicken nugget uwu

I need some time, just deliver the things that I need for now everything that I feel’s like a warm, deep calm casting over me and it’s taking me to somewhere new

Toya Todoroki is dead, but until a short time ago, he didn’t really know what else to call himself. DABI has a good ring to it, he eventually decided.

There was only one person who showed him any little bit of kindness as he had drifted out of the drug- and depression-induced numbness he’d been in for maybe a week. (Name). He remembers them more than anything else he remembers from that time. Whatever words exactly they said aside from offering to stay with him and listen, if he wanted to talk, have been lost to whatever force allows him to repress most of his horrific childhood memories.

All he really knows is that it’s been months, and the thought of their nervous, good-natured smile is pretty much the only thing that lets him feel anything at all.

if you believe that everything’s alright you won’t be all alone tonight and I’d be blessed by the light of your company slowly lifting me to somewhere new

Seeing them again shakes so many feelings loose that he wasn’t even sure he could feel anymore.

He likes to pretend that he doesn’t feel a damn thing, and sometimes it’s a godsend when he can’t feel anything at all. But suddenly, as soon as he sees them again, he remembers how great it is to be happy. He keeps his cool in front of everyone else simply because he doesn’t need more vulnerable spots.

When he’s all alone outside smoking, and he sees (Name) out of the corner of his eye coming over to him, though, he almost wants to break down. His heart almost chokes him when it jumps into his throat as soon as they sit down beside him.

“Hey,” they say softly. The hand they set gently on his knee makes him wish he could fucking cry. Why are they treating him like he’s some precious thing? “You miss me, Toya?”

oh, can you tell I haven’t slept very well since the last time that we spoke? you said, “Please understand, if I see you again don’t even say hello.” (please…)

Just thinking about that name, about who he used to be, makes his hands shake. He blows out a slow stream of smoke, letting it drift in the air around them before he can even think about formulating a response. Hearing the name in their voice, especially because they don’t know better, isn’t so bad, but — it’s not who he is anymore.

“I don’t really remember a lot about that night,” he admits, then takes another drag from his cigarette. “Mostly just you.”

“Really?” That smile of theirs… God. It’s still the same. A little bit anxious, way too sweet for someone who’s hanging around unsavory people, so genuine. “That’s… fair, I guess. You seemed to be in a really bad place. But I’m glad I get to see you again.”

His head tilts to one side, and another cloud of smoke filters from between his lips. He wasn’t expecting that. “Heh. And here I was, figuring you’d told me that it was a one-time thing, that you didn’t ever plan on seeing me again. That… you know… if I ever did see you again… I should just pretend I didn’t know you at all.”

Their smile falters, just a little. “I… didn’t mean to come off like that.” A hand shifts over to rub at their arm, self-conscious, probably unsure about whether he’ll want to hear what they have to say. “Every time I was in that area where I found you, I�� I looked for you. I really hoped I’d see you again.”

He can’t breathe.

what a night it is when you live like this and you’re coming up beneath the clouds don’t let me down — all the love’s still there I just don’t know what to do with it now

His head dips down amid the smoke, almost like he thinks it’s going to hide him. A shuddering, unraveling breath leaves him, something that’s probably as close to a sob as he can bring himself to display to them. “Fuck, I just—”

That’s not something he expected to hear in the slightest. To know that someone actively searched for him, wanted to see him again, didn’t want him just out of their lives… it’s unbelievable. He doesn’t know who would want him around, and his head tells him that, like almost everyone else, they’re lying. For once he does his best to shove that down.

They seem so authentic. Like lying doesn’t even cross their mind as an option. He wants to believe them more than anything.

“I don’t get that a lot,” he finally says. He doesn’t know what else to say to express what he’s thinking. “I never… never did. You’re the first person… you were the only good thing about that night. About my whole fucking life.”

He throws his cigarette down, grinding it beneath his heel, though it’s a weaker gesture than usual. It feels like his whole body is shaking and he’s about to come apart any second.

(Name)’s hand moves again, reaching to wrap their fingers lightly around his. It’s quite honestly the first time anyone has ever given him this kind of gesture. He doesn’t hate it. He can’t. “Then I’m sorry. If I was the first good thing about your life, then you deserved better.”

you know, I still can’t believe we both did some things I don’t even wanna think about just say you love me and I’ll say, “I’m sorry I don’t want anybody else to feel this way” no, no, no

They reach their other hand down and produce a couple bottles of booze, offering one to him. “The truth is, I don’t think I’m any better. You’re one of the only good things about my life, too, and I… don’t get people wanting to see me either. That night was crazy,” they laugh as they pop the cap off their bottle, “but it also kind of — you know. Felt like I was… actually with a friend. Or… or, you know, something like that.”

“Something like that, huh?” he mumbles, opening his own bottle. One swig makes him feel a little more at ease; tastes like cheap beer, alright. To be fair, they’re not the only one who felt like that. Having them there that night made it almost bearable. “… I, uh… I mean… think about you a lot, too.”

The way their face lights up immediately is all the reaction he needs.

“I, uh. I go by Dabi now, by the way.”

can you tell I haven’t slept very well since the last time that we spoke? I said, “Please understand, I’ve been drinking again and all I do is hope.” (please…) stay please stay

Dabi doesn’t really know what he’s doing when he lets his hand tighten around theirs, or when he steels himself using his bottle so he can push himself toward them. All he really knows is that he’s been wishing they were in his life again and now they’re here. They’re here, right in front of him.

He suspects they don’t know what they’re doing when they respond by leaning in. Or at least, they don’t fully know why they’re doing it, because it’s the same thing he feels. That shaky uncertainty, that hesitation, that undeniable need to want to be something with someone.

It’s unclear who makes the first move, but before too long, they’re kissing like a pair of long-lost lovers… or maybe a pair of long-lost could-have-beens. To Dabi, it’s physically painful, to have them pressed against the charred parts of his skin, but for once, his heart has stopped hurting, however brief that feeling might be.

He’s struck by the depressing thought that he didn’t realize how badly he wanted them until he was pressed against them.

I’ll admit I was wrong about everything ‘cause I’m high and I don’t wanna come down all the fun that we had on your mother’s couch I don’t even wanna think about

Their reunion isn’t really horribly passionate or unspeakably desperate. They don’t have their hands completely all over each other, clawing to be closer, constantly writhing against one another.

It’s needy, in the way that two people who are lonely and hurt and tired can be for each other.

For his part, Dabi thinks he should have given (Name) more of a chance, even though back when he was Toya he probably couldn’t have. He could kick himself for believing the worst of them, for disappearing from their life without a trace, for denying himself this that he could have had right beside him all this time if he hadn’t. Even though it isn’t like years have passed, he’s still pissed at himself for being so stupid.

He can’t recall right now exactly what was so memorable about that night, other than just them. He doesn’t remember what they said or did or how they found him or when it all ended. He remembers them, their smile, that they treated him kindly and sat with him, and then he remembers leaving. Did he leave when he noticed they were gone? Had they fallen asleep and he slipped away?

Does it matter now that he has them back? Whatever happened obviously wasn’t enough to keep them from wanting his company.

I’m not strong enough for the both of us what was I supposed to do? you know I love you oh, please stay please just stay stay…

He missed them so much. He still misses them even with their lips on his.

“Tell me,” he breathes with his forehead pressed to theirs, “you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Though his eyes aren’t quite as good as they used to be, he catches it when they smirk. It looks so melancholy on them, but it’s also… genuine. Just like they are.

“Don’t worry, Dabi. You’re not getting rid of me that easy. Not again.”

[the-heartbeat-carries-on]

With My Heart in My Mouth

(Original fiction by Mod Cuore of @the-heartbeat-carries-on)

Here it is! Decided to write a bit of original fiction with a cardiophile theme :D This was fun. A little rambling and very informal (and first person, present tense, what even), but still fun to do. I hope you all enjoy it! (Rated PG for mild language)

~~~~~~~~~

Right now, teleportation sounds like the best idea in the world.

Picture me, a young woman in love, having brought her boyfriend back from the airport after a nervous but still joyous car ride. I'm beyond excited and happy that he's finally in the same house as me instead of a few thousand miles away. Picture him flopped over on the couch. He's exhausted from all the travel, but still eager to spend time with me and is in cheery spirits (even if his eyelids are dipping every so often).

And then, picture me, wanting to dive into his arms and flee the country at the same time (the latter possibly including a new identity). We’d hugged for a long while at the airport; in fact, I’m pretty sure people stared as the minutes-long embrace went on… and on… and on… So why was I getting cold feet about… well, about this?? Isn’t it natural for a girl like me to want to cuddle with her boyfriend? And listen to his heartbeat? Even though it’s something he doesn’t like? His heartbeat, not the cuddling. Jury’s out on the cuddling. But I know for a fact that he’s said before he doesn’t like heartbeats. Which you’d think would be a dealbreaker for someone like me, a cardiophile who’s loved hearts for as long as she can remember.

But noooo, my heart didn’t think that was a problem. So here we are, in my house, me sweating like a fountain and him stretched out on my couch… looking so nice and relaxed… and looking like he has the perfect spot next to him where I could fit in nice and neat--THERE I GO AGAIN.

Unfortunately, for me, he seems to have picked up on the anxiety. “You all right, Jenny?” Dammit. Either I was too obvious or he's just that good at reading people. Probably both; he’s always seemed like a people-person.

“I…” Right now would be the perfect time to lie about it, right? No, no good… he hates liars. I suddenly found just about every piece of advice I’d ever heard about honesty starting to flood my head. “Communication is key,” it all says. “It’s important to talk things out,” comes another voice. Sage advice to be sure, but with my heart pounding as hard as it is right now, can I even get the words out?

“You…?”

My lips finally part. “...Are you tired?” DAMMIT, Jenny. Just… go bury yourself in the corner, why don’t you.

He nods. “Yeah, I mean… it was a really long flight. But you look tense.” He pauses a moment, an odd look of shame crossing his face. “Oh, no, sorry; you probably wanna sit. Hold on.” In a few swift moves, he’s sitting up on the couch, cheeks a little red. Nooo, Will; that’s the LEAST of my worries. You’re not taking up space.

Well... if he’s offering me the spot, it’d be rude to not sit there, right? It’s a few moments before I find myself creaking toward the couch, like I’d just hopped off of Frankenstein’s table. Will isn’t keeping it a secret from me that he’s confused by the way I’m acting, his bushy eyebrows doing all the talking. Honestly, he has every right to be; I feel like an idiot. And all because I want to cuddle up next to him and…

He reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You’re looking really pale; you sure you’re all right?”

I try to look over, but the gaze from his slate blue eyes is a little too much. My heart punches me in the back of my ribs and I cough a little. “I’m… just kind of…”

His expression melts into one of warmth and concern. “If you’re nervous, you really don’t have to be. I mean… wait, what am I saying…?” He takes his hand off my shoulder and buries his face in his hands. “I mean… okay, I’m a little nervous myself. But… I guess a bit of nerves in the beginning is healthy. Means you’re not taking this lightly or for granted.”

That’s true; after all the time I’ve spent, thinking about me and him together, I’m not going to let any of it seem as though it’s something I’m owed. Heck, the fact that I’m together with anyone seems like a miracle in of itself after all these years (crushing on people is hard… at least for me. I feel lucky this even happened). So, with that in mind… I guess I can relax a bit. I smile, trying to look at him but still avoiding his eyes. “Y-You’re right. I guess I’m just nervous. I just… I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

He smiles, his slightly crooked teeth glistening in the remnants of daylight streaming through the window. “Me too,” he says.

A few moments of thick silence (save for the ticking of the living room clock and the ridiculously loud pounding my heart is doing, what the heeeelllll) pass before I decide to clear my throat. “Um… I h-hope this isn’t too forward of me, but…”

What am I doing?

“...I was wondering…”

Oh no.

“...if you wouldn’t mind…”

MAYDAY, MAYDAY; SOMEONE OVERRIDE MY STUPID MOUTH, QUICK!!

“...could we, you know… cuddle, maybe?”

...I blew it. That was WAY too forward, wasn’t it? I mean, this is only our second time of meeting in person, the first time we’ve met as a couple. Heck, maybe he’s not even into cuddling. He’s a hugger, sure, but… but maybe… ohhhh, I blew it.

“...Sure.”

There’s no way I can accurately describe the tone of his voice. A period doesn’t do it justice, and an exclamation point makes it sound way too enthusiastic. But there’s a definite tone of… happiness to it. It’s lighthearted, gentle… maybe not super eager, but it actually sounds like he’s… into it.

I can feel a stupid grin crawling onto my lips; good luck prying that off, I tell myself as he starts stretching back out, watching me, waiting for me to… oh, he’s patting the side next to him. I look at his face.

He’s smiling. Ohhh heavens, I can’t take this. Maybe it’s quicker than I should move, but I almost slam myself down by his side trying to fill in the space.

“Whoa! That was a rush and a half…”

I breathe in sharply. “Are you okay?? I didn’t hurt you, did I??”

Thankfully, he’s shaking his head. “No, I’m fine. That was just, I dunno, REALLY sudden.”

“Ah, sorry, sorry…” I mutter, resting my head on his chest. I try to make it as casual as I can, but, truth be told, this is what I’ve been waiting for. I’m just hoping HE’S okay with it.

I can feel him gently wrap his arm around me as I settle my head down, suddenly hearing the sound I’d longed to hear ever since my feelings for him developed.

B-thump b-thump b-thump b-thump b-thump…

I am both simultaneously mesmerized and flustered. On the one hand, I’m finally getting to hear his heartbeat. On the other hand… so much faster than I was expecting!

...And I suddenly realize that it’s probably beating that way because of me. My own heart skips a few beats, something I don’t realize he can feel.

“I think something happened…” he says. I look up into his face; his eyebrows are still reaching for his hairline.

“A-Ah, yeah…”

“It felt like your heart just kinda had a freakout.”

A wave of warmth rushes through me as he says that word, “heart.” Ordinarily, anyone saying that word would make me smile, but him? The way he curls the vowels and the “r” sound just… it’s too much. My face goes a little redder.

“I’m just… I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows crease even further. “Sorry? Sorry why? You literally haven’t done anything you need to apologise for.”

I sigh, more blush creeping up my neck. Might as well remind him, shall I? “Okay, I… you’re right,” I start. “I just… d-do you remember that first letter I gave you? Way back when we first met?”

He closes his eyes as he thinks back. “Man, that was so long ago. So much happened too; what was in it?”

No use turning back. “Well, I… I told you in it about my being a… a cardiophile.”

Yep, there’s a definite silence here. “A what?”

“I like hearts. A lot. It’s like…” The words just started pouring out. “It’s like a lifelong obsession for me. I’ve liked them ever since I was little.”

“Ohhhh…” he says, looking up as though he’s searching his brain for memory banks. “So that’s why you’ve got all that heart stuff on your blog.”

I nod slowly. “Y-Yeah…”

“So…” He looks down at me. Not two seconds go by before someone turns on the light behind his eyes (I could almost swear I can see it). “Ohhhh. You can hear my heartbeat right now, can’t you?”

All I can do is nod. “I just… I just remembered something, though.”

“What’s that?”

“You said on your blog, a while back, that you don’t like heartbeats.”

He thinks for a moment. “Yeah, I just, couldn’t really stand hearing my own so often. Like, lying in bed at night when I’m trying to sleep… Also kind of reminds me of all the horror games I’ve played. And that’s not something I want to have when I’m trying to sleep.”

He stops a moment, looking a little embarrassed. “Buuuuut I mean, if you like hearts, hey, who am I to judge?”

...Did he just say that? Really?

I can hardly believe it; it feels as though a weight has been lifted. “You’re… okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? If it makes you happy, then like away. Just because I don’t like my own heartbeat doesn’t mean you can’t. I mean... it’s not hurting me or anyone else if you do. At least, I’m assuming you’re not gonna plunge a dagger in and scream ‘Kali-ma!!’ or anything like that. If you do, I’m afraid we’re gonna have to rethink this relationship thing.”

I giggle. I have never felt so good or validated in my entire life. Smiling intensely, I let my head nestle into the gentle curvature of his chest, taking in every enthusiastic beat. A few seconds slip by before I say “In that case, let me love the parts of you that you don’t like. That way, all of you can be loved and appreciated.”

“Awww…” His expression lightly rumbles through his chest and his heartbeat picks up slightly. I catch a bit of blush on his cheeks before he closes his eyes, sighing deeply. It’s a few moments before I realize that he’s drifted off, finally robbed of consciousness at last by all the travel.

Welp. Looks like I’m stuck here beneath his arm, nestled between him and the back cushions of the couch. But with his stamp of approval and my new location next to his heart, you won’t hear me complaining. In fact, you won’t hear me at all. I can’t hear his heartbeat if I’m making any sounds of my own, after all.