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arminhug · 4 years ago

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hello, pumpkin || annie leonhardt x reader: chapter two

series masterlist

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Annie and I never established that we were friends until her eighth birthday.

In the blossoming spring warmth, I nestled myself in the corner of the bench in the playground’s garden. It was an unspoken fact that nobody really played in the garden; it was a quiet haven for a few of us to read or enjoy solitude, yet it had also become a spot where I waited for Annie every day, and almost every day, had she not been sent home or busy with other obligations, Annie joined me, sometimes speaking, sometimes not. I didn’t mind; I just loved to be in her company.

On this particular day, Annie stood before me, and despite her being the same height as me, her air always made her seem much bigger and powerful.

“My dad says this is for you.”

She handed me a white envelope into which I fervently tore, revealing a gaudy invitation card.

“It’s your birthday on Saturday?” I quizzed.

“No, my birthday is today. But my dad said it was too short notice to invite you to my house today, so you can come on Saturday.”

At this news of Annie’s birthday, I immediately leapt to my feet and braced her in a hug. “Happy birthday! What cake are you having? Are you going to hand out sweets to your class?”

Annie did not hug me back but did not resist. “I don’t like cake, and I don’t like anyone in my class.”

I gasped. “How can you not like cake? Also, who’s going to be at your party if you don’t like anyone in your class?”

“Cake is too heavy and sweet.” She responded monotonously. “Also, you’re the only one coming; it’s not a party, my dad just knows I have a friend now and wanted you to come. You don’t have to.”

Unlike Annie, I didn’t actively avoid the other children in my school. I was still invited to many class birthday parties, I spoke amiably to my peers and I could name a few schoolchildren whom I could consider a friend— yet Annie, the stoic, ash-blonde girl confessing she saw me as a friend elicit such joy within me, I can still remember the feeling to this day if I think about her enough.

“So if I’m your friend, I have to get you a present, right?” I had reminded her of the title that she gave me moments ago.

“No. I don’t want a present.”

“Yes you do, everyone wants presents!” I retorted. “What do you like best in the world?”

“Cats.”

I sat down, sulking. “I can’t get you a cat, Annie. What else do you like?”

Silence.

“Mummy and I can make you something.” I continued, desperate to find something that I could give to my friend. “She’s really good at baking. Do you like cookies?”

“No.”

“Cupcakes?” I refused to give up.

“No! Cupcakes are tiny cakes, you know I hate cakes.”

“Brownies?”

“No.”

“Doughnuts?”

This time, Annie turned away, not meeting the question with a monosyllabic “no”.

“Doughnuts! Annie, I’ll make you lots of doughnuts, okay?”

Annie still refused to look me in the eye. It never bothered me, but I had gathered that she was more inclined to refuse eye contact when she was upset or shy. Before I had the chance to attempt to pry into which flavour of doughnut she would have liked, the bell signalling the end of recess rang. I leapt to my feet and pressed a chaste kiss to Annie's cheek.

“See you later, you doughnut!”

She shoved me towards my line with no malice in the action. “Whatever you say, pumpkin girl.”

“Earth to (y/n)? You’ve been glazed over for the past five minutes. What’s so exciting about the window?”

I blink, snapping out of the saccharine memory of Annie’s birthday. Four pairs of eyes are fixed on me, and I animate myself, taking the doughnut from my plate and shrugging. “I was just thinking,” I respond.

“You sure? Not looking at any hot dudes?” the only other female at the table, Sasha, suggests. Her hazel eyes flicker suggestively over to the group of men kicking a ball about in the park over the road from our favourite local café, which has baked goods to die for (or so Sasha and Connie, the food fanatics of my friendship group claim. I won’t argue—the doughnuts are heavenly.)

“Yeah, c’mon, (y/n)! There are three dashing fellows right here, why do you need to stare at those losers?” Connie chimes in, gesturing to himself and my other two male friends, Jean and Marco.

“Yeah, you wish. My type isn’t idiots,” I playfully smack Connie’s head, the growing stubble brushing my fingertips as I find any way to bring the subjects away from men that I would apparently find attractive.

“On all seriousness, what is your type? We’ve never seen you have anyone about.” Jean interrogates. Great.

It took me a while to figure out that I’m likely not into men. I never quite knew why I got so uncomfortable when middle school brought an array of boy bands that prepubescent teenage girls loved to swoon over, and why I could never answer when somebody asked me who was the hottest, but at the age of sixteen, when I realised my heart was racing upon seeing two women kiss in a film my friends and I had watched, it hit me like a freight train that I was definitely attracted to women.

I chose not to indulge anyone in this knowledge; realistically, I know I don’t have too much to worry about. Sure, my parents aren’t screaming about supporting gay rights from the rooftops, but I know that they have no prejudice towards the community, and my four closest friends would accept me no matter what — hell, Marco told us he was gay when we were fifteen and sixteen years old over a game of Mario Kart and we embraced his queerness with open arms.

So what’s the big deal? I think to myself.

“Does it matter? I’m too busy to date. These university decisions are killing me!”

“Simple,” Jean interrupts, pointing the straw of his ridiculously large iced coffee in my direction. “You come to Marley with Marco and me. Good university, far enough away from your parents, and you get your favourite friends with you for the ride!”

Jean and Marco are one class above Sasha, Connie and I, and decided that Marley University, a small, public school that gained a decent reputation despite it being so new, was the place for them. It was hard to say goodbye once they left school, but the holiday breaks came frequently, and soon enough, they were back for Easter, helping their three younger friends decide on which school to go to.

“Tempting, but probably not. I can’t get over the English department in Sina,” I responded dreamily.

“Yeah, and the crazy entry requirements. You’d have to be a robot to get those grades! Just come to Marley with us, I’m sure the English stuff is fine there, too!” Sasha whined, poking at my hand. I take another bite of my nostalgic treat, shaking my head.

“Guys, I love you all, but I can’t make such an important decision based on my friends. You understand, right?”

“It’s fine, (y/n),” Marco interrupts, his familiar comforting smile gracing his freckled face. “We’ll come to visit you up there, right?”

“Nope. Four of us, one of you. She is coming to Marley.” Jean retorts.

“Jesus, fair enough. I’ll book the plane tickets now!” I tell him sardonically. He elbows me jovially in response and stands, coffee in hand. “Right, we can finish our drinks and snacks on the way outside. It's too nice to be spending it indoors.”

Ignoring the protests from Sasha and Connie, who forlornly protest that they haven't had the chance to order a baked good after their main courses, the majority of the group tail towards the double doors, leaving the duo no choice but to begrudgingly follow suit. The late March sunshine is glorious, beaming down on my face, much like the day twelve years ago I was daydreaming about. It suddenly hit me that today, March 22nd, Annie would be turning twenty years old. This newfound knowledge makes my stomach drop and I cannot control the grief coursing through my being.

It's ever so odd how I can remember every detail about my childhood friend; every memory we shared together, her favourite colour, (black, which I insisted was rather morbid for an eight-year-old, so I coaxed her into putting blue as a second favourite) how on Sunday mornings her father would always pick her up from my house after a sleepover at 10 am sharp to take her to karate, even though she had told me in confidence that she much preferred kickboxing. I couldn't tell you many facts about any other childhood friend who I lost to time; it's only Annie. Every detail of the girl who made my infancy etched into my heart, refusing to leave.

As I force myself back into the present moment, I am aware that maybe Annie was more than just my best friend.

But I was so young. How could I have truly differentiated between innocuous childhood affection and romantic yearning?

“Marco?” I punctuate the spring silence before I can even stop myself. “How did you realise your first crush?”

Marco raises his eyebrows. “Jeez, it was so long ago. I was eleven and I was having a sleepover with my friend. We were on his bed playing Minecraft on his laptop, but I wasn’t even paying attention; I was just admiring his face, how he was so engrossed in the game. My heart was racing because I realised I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t even think it was biologically possible to like the same sex, so I brushed it off. Now I look back…” he laughs awkwardly, before looking me in the eye, his tone suddenly earnest. “Why, what’s up? Anything you want to talk to me about?”

I stop in the street, completely oblivious to the speed of modern day life around me. Suddenly all I care about is how my stomach leapt when I saw her pallid figure walk through the double doors, into the garden, how I found any excuse to hold her hand, how obsessed I was with the topography of her curved nose, icy eyes, lips stark against her pale skin.

“How do you know for sure you’re gay if you’ve only ever had a crush on one person in your life? Somebody who you haven’t spoken to in eight years?”

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

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yodawgiherd · 5 years ago

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Birthday Girl

Rating: T

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Hey hey people. I know that last time I've promised you some dirt in the next chapter, but then Mikasa's birthday came around and I just had to make one where she's simply, you know, happy. Because she deserves it. I'll do my best do deliver the next time I write, pinky promise :)

Enjoy!

It’s amazing what a human mind can achieve once it's freed from its carnal desires. Calling his time “productive” would be an understatement for Eren. Just a day after having his most basic desire taken away, he was already sharing a much needed catch up dinner with Armin, talking about everything that happened over the last few months. He learned that his friend’s book was going along well, for once, as Armin picked up the pace and began working on it again. His sessions with Hitch were less frequent too, the psychiatrist saying that Armin was good, and only getting better. To get a second opinion on this, Eren called Hitch, but she only confirmed what Armin said. Although mentioning Annie was still difficult for him, he was finally over her.

Moving on with his catch-up journey, Eren paid a visit to the bar, to see how Connie and Sasha were doing. And while Armin had only good news for him, these two weren’t doing that well. Sasha was obsessed with something, Connie said, but she wouldn’t share what it was, often leaving for hours and coming back late. An activity that was dangerous for anyone, and especially for a woman in a wheelchair, but Sasha was adamant that whatever she was doing, she must do on her own.

Next, Eren grabbed a quick drink with Jean, noting that his friend seemed more relaxed than ever, but when asked all Jean did was shrug and say that he confronted some old demons of the past. And finally, least but not last, Eren finalized his order of the gift for Mikasa’s birthday, an event that was coming up. A celebration would be held at the Third Wheel, of course, but he had something special for his girl, a gift that would be best shared just between the two of them, not out in the public.

The party itself still required some planning, and Eren was just about to call if the cake is ready when his phone pinged, indicating an incoming message. From the birthday girl herself, nonetheless.

“Hey.”, it said. Quite non-descript.

Well then.

“Hey yourself.”

“You doing something?”

Eren arched an eyebrow at that. What a weird thing to ask.

“Not really, what’s up?”

“I need your help.”

Oh? But before Eren could ask what Mikasa needed a hand with, his phone pinged again.

“What do you think about my posture?”

And a photo right after. A photo that made Eren’s fingers tighten around the phone, eyes widening. Apparently, his lovely girlfriend was at the gym right now, working on herself. The picture was nice, to be sure, a nice photo of a mirror reflection that displayed Mikasa bending over and showing herself off to the best of her ability. Her ass was a godlike one, Eren always said, and dressed in the short workout shorts it was a delicious snack he would do anything to get. The angle was very good too, if anything, her modeling career taught Mikasa how to strike a pose to really get someone going, and it was working wonders on Eren. Correction, it would be working wonder if not for a certain deal he made just a day back, a deal which now prevented his body from reacting normally to this kind of stimulation. Instead of any hardening, he was hit by a very unpleasant wave of tightness between his legs, the restrictive device working as intended. God. Fucking. Damnit. Yet before he could retaliate, another ping.

This time she was facing the camera, holding the phone up, giving him a very nice view of her cleavage and the smug grin that sat on her face. Sweat was running freely down her skin, so she was probably working herself hard as usual, but the way the corners of her lips turned up left no room for discussion. Mikasa knew exactly what she was doing. And Eren was once again left completely stunned.

“You think I’m standing right?”

Oh, now she asked. Eren could only imagine how much she was enjoying herself right now, giggling at the gym. The tease. Breathing in, breathing out, Eren looked away from the screen, closing his eyes and trying to empty his mind from the pictures that were burned into his brain. Honestly speaking, he didn’t even notice the cage before this damned conversation, busy as he was, easily ignoring the added weight at his crotch. But now it was painfully present, pushing down his budding erection, and Eren had to agree that it was rather uncomfortable. Another ping cut into the darkness. Then another. And another. Damn spammer.

He should ignore those messages, Eren reasoned with himself, just put Mikasa on mute for the day and move on with his party planning, but as always, his reasonable side got pushed down by the primal one. He had to see her, just had to. With a sigh, knowing that whatever she sent will be another test of his self-control, Eren cracked his eyes open. Well, he was correct.

“Eren?”

“Are you ignoring me?”

And lastly, another picture. This time, Mikasa went all out, holding her shirt and bra between her teeth, shamelessly flashing her tits into the camera. Judging from the surroundings, she moved to the changing room, and it was logical considering that Mikasa was hardly the type to undress in the middle of the gym. Unable to help himself, Eren stared, mesmerized, at the small perky mounds, pale skin bathed in sweat, dark nipples in the middle, the cage slowly changing from uncomfortable into an infernal torment. Breath wheezing, he forced his fingers to move.

“Your posture looks fine.”, he slowly typed in, knowing very well that Mikasa had years and years of experience with how to treat her body. She knew what to do but abusing her boyfriend’s chastity situation was simply too tempting.

“Nice tits.”, he added after a pause.

There. That will show her. An answer pinged soon after.

“Thanks 😊”

Eren had to move her mind away from this, otherwise, there was a chance that she might just document her whole shower to him. And while normally Eren would welcome these nudes, right now they were a source of pain, not pleasure.

“You coming to the party tomorrow?”, he asked.

“I believe I don’t have a choice, considering it’s my birthday party.”

“I took care of the planning, but you still need to invite those fashion people.”

“I did. And Kiyomi is going to attend, would you believe that?”

“That woman really likes you, huh?”

“Well, I do have an exclusive deal with her agency. I’m making her some good money.”

Eren chuckled.

“It’s not like she’s paying you bad tho, is it?”

The three dots indicated that Mikasa is typing something, but then they stopped, giving Eren a pause. But then it clicked for him.

“You don’t even know, do you?”

Half a city away, Mikasa grimaced, staring at the message. Ok, maybe she kinda stopped caring about her financial situation a while back. She had her card, and when she wanted to buy something, she simply bought it, just like that. Some might say that it’s irresponsible, leaving all of her monetary worries on her fiancé, but Mikasa grew in an environment where they had to literally count every penny to make it to the next paycheck, and it felt damn amazing to just stop caring. Levi was with her, back when she was signing the agreement with Kiyomi, making sure that they weren’t getting ripped off, but Mikasa didn’t pay much attention, half in disbelief that anyone would hire her for modeling work. In short, she had no idea how much Kiyomi was paying her. Carefully, she wrote back to Eren, doing her best to appear in control.

“Let’s say that hypothetically I really don’t know. Is it a lot?”

“Hypothetically?”

Hell, he was onto her. She sighed.

“Fine, you got me, I have no idea. Can you please tell me?”

A smirking emoji with the following message.

“She’s paying you very well Mikasa, combine that with the MMA winnings and you are rather rich at this point.”

“I am?”

“Yup.”

Mikasa felt a rush of light-headedness, sitting down on the bench. She was rich? The girl who ate cheap ramen five days a week during her teenage years? The same one who had to buy cheap replicas for her jewelry and the only pieces that might be worth something were her crucifix earrings and the necklace with the massive silver cross from Levi? Funny how that worked out. Satisfied that he stunned her enough, Eren smiled to himself. Now that Mikasa’s mind was wandering elsewhere, he was once again free from her demonic temptations, at least for a time.

“I still have to finish with the party planning.”, he wrote, “Love you.”

With that, he pocketed his phone, only to realize that he was just about to call about the cake. With a groan, he pulled it out once more. So much to do, so little time.

After a bit of thinking, Eren decided to give his gift to Mikasa before the party. So when she woke up on the day of her birthday, she came down to a surprise that made her eyes widen.

“Happy birthday!”, Eren said, leaning on the gift.

The gift which was nothing else but a full-fledged dance pole, including a small stage and everything, with enough room around that she could practice any wild moves Mikasa ever dreamed of. Pole dancing was a serious sport, and it was taxing as hell too, hard to master, a workout for your whole body. He had this idea of getting her one ever since they visited the strip club together and she was so taken with the dancers there, but logistic problems along with other things delayed it. However, when Eren realized that her birthday was coming, he finally kicked himself to act and finalize the deal. And here it was.

Judging from the way she tackled him, murmuring thank you between the kisses, Mikasa loved the gift. Now all she had to do was survive the party and she could start doing some killer workouts at home. To train for MMA matches by pole dancing might not be the standard, but it would be a welcome addition to her routine, and Mikasa was already looking forward to it.

As it turned out, Mikasa Ackerman was more popular than she expected. The bar was full, people were even standing outside, but as the weather was reasonable for once it wasn’t that big of an issue. Most of the new faces that Eren couldn’t recognize were Kiyomi’s fault, of course, as the old woman moved expertly between them, often pulling Mikasa along to show her star girl to the potential customers. Eren couldn’t even remember if he ever spent so much of a party on his own, his fiancé being carried from one small talk to the other by the inexhaustible fashion mogul. Leaning on the bar, he watched the happening around himself for a moment, a smile tugging on his lips. A large number of people understandably meant a large number of presents too; the gifts now piled up on the table in the middle. The most scandalous one was Kiyomi’s, as the old woman gave Mikasa nothing else but a damn billboard. Replacing the old Coca-Cola advertisement was no one else but the birthday girl herself. It wouldn’t be Kiyomi if she didn’t turn it into some profit for herself tho, so Mikasa wasn’t just occupying the billboard without use. In fact, the gift itself was simply an ad, if you looked at it, it was a promotion of the new biker gear collection. Next to the fashion brand’s name, Mikasa was sitting on a bike, looking over her shoulder to the camera, dressed in very stylish leather clothes that didn’t look like they saw a day on the road. And to Eren’s amusement, they made her wear heels for the photoshoot, a thing that Mikasa herself despised, as wearing heels to a bike was nothing else but pure vanity that could end up very badly for the driver. The same could be said for the overly “badass” jacket, as it had a skull on the back with a “Ride or Die” slogan above it. Yet Eren was forced to admit that if he overlooked these unnecessary wrinkles, the photo itself was very well done, Pixis knew what he was doing. Mikasa was hot and badass at the same time, surely getting the attention of anyone who would look at the billboard. And getting someone’s attention was the first step to a successful sale, as Kiyomi herself said.

“Hi there.”

Startled, he looked to the right, seeing that the voice came from a woman he didn’t know, a blonde with startlingly blue eyes and cleavage deep enough to draw the attention of any male in the room. From the way she looked Eren guessed that she was most likely a model too, same as Mikasa, probably invited by Kiyomi or someone affiliated with her.

“Hey.”, he replied, not sure what the woman wanted from him. Did he have something on his face?

“Fun party, huh?”, she continued, twirling a strand of her hair.

“Sure is.”, Eren felt a pang of pride in his chest upon hearing those words. After all, he did all the planning himself, and it was good to hear a stranger’s appreciation.

“Are you here alone?”, the blond went on, her eyes getting bit flirtier as she leaned in, giving Eren a prime view of the aforementioned cleavage. And she was definitely well-endowed, no denying that.

Her question combined with the pose finally made Eren realize what this whole thing was about. It felt weird, being hit on randomly, it almost never happened to him as Mikasa was on his arm at basically every social occasion, and Eren never tried to hide his affection for her. It reminded him of that one time when he took a random girl’s offer and ended up in the bathroom unable to get hard. Fun times. It also reminded him that even should he respond to the blonde’s advances, he was literally unable to fuck her, locked up as he was, while his keyholder was somewhere at the party, dragged behind Kiyomi. The realization was funny, making the corners of his lips turn up, a response that the girl took as a positive one. But when she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes darted to the left and she frowned instead, confused. What confused her was quickly revealed too, as a hand snaked around Eren’s waist, pulling him to press his body against someone he knew intimately.

“You having fun baby?”, Mikasa whispered in her low, dangerous voice, eyes burning holes into the blonde even as she spoke to Eren.

“I was.”, he replied, watching the other girl very quickly vacate her chair and disappear into the crowd, once again proving that Mikasa’s death stare was terrifying. He turned on his chair to face her. “What about you? Kiyomi finally let you go?”

“I managed to slip away from her.”, with a tired sigh, Mikasa took the chair left behind by the blonde, “That woman is insane.”

Reaching out, Eren put his hand on her shoulder in a gesture of silent support, fully agreeing that Kiyomi could be too much sometimes.

“Have you talked to Jean?”, he asked, willing to get her mind off the old woman.

“I did.”, Mikasa’s face lit up, “Him and Hitch are really hitting it, aren’t they?”

“True, I don’t think they care about being secretive anymore.”

“Talking about secretive, Sasha still won’t open up.”, the smile on her lips twisted a bit, “I can’t get her to talk about whatever she’s doing, and Connie is clueless too.”

“Maybe Armin will succeed where we failed.”, Eren offered, “He was always the best of us when it came to talking.”

“And he’s liking the party too,”, Mikasa added,” I haven’t seen him this relaxed in ages.”

Armin was enjoying himself, but as much as he liked his friend, there was one person whose approval Eren was after the most. She was the birthday girl, after all, this party was for her. Clearing his throat, he asked.

“What about you, do you like it?”

“Yes, it’ amazing.”, leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to Eren’s cheek, “Thank you so much.”

“Better than the first party I threw you, huh?”

“Oh, you mean…”, Mikasa’s face lit up with a smile, “That one.”

“The one where I took you to a sushi restaurant.”, Eren clicked his tongue, “Do you remember what you said?”

She was full-on laughing now, and just shook her head to indicate that she can’t really speak right now.

“That’s okay because I remember. You said, and I quote: “That’s kinda racist to assume that I like sushi just because I’m half Japanese.” “

“It was a joke!”, she squeezed out, unable to stop herself from laughing, “I liked it!”

“And I had no idea that you were just making fun. We were dating for a few months; I was terrified that I fucked up.”

“Oh Eren,”, finally able to control herself, Mikasa just hugged him, hiding her grin into his neck,” I love you so much.”

“So much that you stare down any woman that dares speak to me, huh?”

She just shrugged.

“You’re mine, I’m not letting anyone else have you.”

“Huh, and who’s possessive again?”

“I’ll be honest, seeing you talk to that girl was a bit hot.”

Eren pulled back, raising an eyebrow.

“Hot?”

She nodded against his skin.

“She had no idea that you’re mine, no idea how much I own you.”, Mikasa’s voice was a whisper now, low and seductive, “She had no idea what you let me do to you.”

Pulling back herself, Mikasa fished between her numerous necklaces to find the chain she was looking for, holding out the key after. Her smile switched from amused to sexy, doing things between Eren’s legs that were bound to be uncomfortable.

“I see all those women looking at you, puppy, I know that they want you, want to have a taste of what’s mine. But they can’t.”, she clicked the key with her black fingernail, “They can’t, because your cock is mine, only mine, isn’t that right?”

“Yours, mistress.”, Eren breathed out, adding the title without even realizing it.

If Mikasa ordered him to kneel before her there, to slide down from his chair and kiss her shoes Eren would do it, she controlled him so easily that it wasn’t even funny. Luckily, Mikasa did nothing of the sorts, letting go of the key as it disappeared back among the collection around her neck.

“And I’ll make it all worth it for you, soon enough.”, the smile on her face changed once more, sliding from sexy to cruel, “I’ll make you suffer, puppy, but you will be loving it all the way. Because I can do anything I want with you, right?”

“Of course, mistress, anything.”

Pulling hard at his tie, Mikasa made him bow down to her height and claimed Eren’s mouth in a wild kiss, one that was sure to leave plenty of black lipstick on his face, sealing her lips on his with a dark promise. One that was bound to come true, as soon as Friday rolls around.

#snk #fanfic #eremika #happy birthday mikasa!#hope she's doing well #:(

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cocoachoux · 8 years ago

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Even as a teenager, Mikasa still finds a way to be a little shit get Eren and Levi together.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY @imasmi!!! 8D She has been asking for a COMH sequel for a while now, and while the main fic is done, I thought that this fluffy side short would suffice. o3o I know that I could've added this to COMH: BTS, but I believe this could be read as a standalone fic as well since there's such a big time gap between chapters.

This could also be renamed as 'Chapter 57.5' since this takes place before the last chapter. ^^

It started as something minor.

At first, she didn’t say anything about it, thinking it was a one-off thing that wasn’t worth a second thought – it was a relatively common sight in this day and age, after all, so she shrugged it off.

But then it happened again but from the other person.

She still didn’t say anything about it, still thinking that it wasn’t much an issue – deeming it must be important if the other person did it as well.

But then it happened more and more often that it became a regular occurrence. A habit.

Mikasa’s lips twisted to a frown when she saw that both her dad and her anne were looking at their phones, typing away, not eating the dinner she had (painstakingly) prepared for them.

She tapped restlessly on her plate with her fork (something that she knew her dad hated with a passion), but no word of acknowledgment or even a head turn. They were so engrossed with their devices that Mikasa sighed loudly (again, nothing) and stood up.

“I’m done.”

For whatever reason, that seemed to gain her dad’s attention. Finally. “What’s wrong, Mikasa? You barely touched your plate.”

“You barely touched yours either,” she countered, gesturing the full plate of food with her chin.

Levi shook his head just as Eren put their phone away. “I had to respond to an email from one of the sponsors for the upcoming trip.”

“And I just got the photos from the last modeling shoot that I did,” Eren explained, “I had to upload a few teaser pictures on Twitter before I forget.” They gave Mikasa a smile. “But we’re good now. Come sit down, let’s eat.”

Mikasa spared them a wary look before sitting back down again and waited for her parents to start eating before she did, the frown still present on her face. They didn’t even apologize for their actions.

She discreetly watched the way they behaved next to each other. Their conversations have come to a strange lull, in which they don’t have much to say other than how much progress they were making on their respective projects or upcoming video ideas they wanted to share. Besides that, meals together tended to be a quiet affair – with her breaking the silence by telling them about her day and what homework she had and complaining about her school workload whenever she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. It soon became all too common for her to take lead during dinner conversations. Somewhere in the past few months, their conversations turned into a meeting, rather than enjoying each other’s company.

The sound of a phone buzzing snapped her out of her thoughts, eyes narrowing when her dad immediately grabbed hold of his phone and swiped the screen.

Levi’s eyes went back and forth as he read the new message. “Hey, Eren? Can you forward me the confirmation email for the flight? The organizer needs to know when we’ll arrive to have someone pick us up.”

“Hold on for a second.”

To Mikasa’s dismay, Eren had their phone in hand in an instance and was scrolling through to find what their husband was asking for. “It says that we’ll be there by 1:35, but we have a layover that’s only half an hour long. How much are you willing to bet that we’ll miss our connecting flight?”

Levi snorted. “It’s definitely going to happen. Just give me the flight number and I’ll send it to them. They can figure it out.”

At this point, Mikasa excused herself from dinner and walked out. She didn’t hear any protests from them, just their continued conversation about work.

She flopped on her bed in frustration. She knew she was being irrationally upset, but she couldn’t help but feel hopeless as she thought about her parents and how they were now compared to how they were at the beginning all those years ago. Their relationship turned… stagnant, if she was being honest with her observations. They weren’t necessarily on bad terms but they weren’t as close as they were either.

Sighing for the umpteenth time, she took out her own phone and messaged the two people she could always confide with.

Mikasa I need help.

Annie Don’t we all

Armin Annie, please. What’s wrong, Mikasa?

Mikasa Do you guys mind if we go on group chat?

Armin I’ll be on in a second.

Annie Same

Switching over to her tablet, she logged in and waited for her friends to be online. She made sure she locked the door beforehand and settled on the foot of her bed just as her tablet started ringing.

Accepting the call, she was immediately greeted with Armin’s worried voice.

“Are you okay, Mikasa?”

“Sort of… I was hoping you guys can help give me advice with something.”

“What’s up?” Annie chimed in.

Mikasa eyed her door before responding in a low voice, “You see, it’s about Dad and Anne.”

“What about your parents?”

“I’ve been noticing how distant they are lately.”

“To you?” Armin asked.

“A bit, but it’s more to each other. I don’t know, for the past couple of months, I’d noticed that they don’t talk to each other as much as they used to. They’re not fighting or anything, but they’re just… there. Like being with each other but also not really.”

“What makes you say that?” Even Annie, who was usually the stoic of the three, sounded concerned.

“For one, they’re always on their phones whenever we eat together. And I mean always. We made a rule of not using devices on the table a long, long time ago, but now, they both have their phones practically attached to their hands. And everything they talk about with each other is always related to work. I don’t even remember the last time they joked around and had fun together.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Annie mumbled, “That is kinda bad.”

Mikasa’s face settled into a frown. “So you don’t think I’m overreacting?”

“No,” Armin interjected, “If it’s something like this has been going for a while, I would be worried too.”

“When was the last time your parents went on a date? Just the two of them?” Annie asked.

She scrunched her brows together. “I honestly can’t remember… maybe around Valentine’s Day?”

“That was months ago.”

“I know, right?” Mikasa sighed in frustration. “I don’t know why or how it turned out like this.”

“I can kind of understand why it’s been such a long time,” Armin said, “Uncle Levi and Eren’s occupations are unusual compared to most parents. They’re public figures who need to make lots of content for their increasing fan base. I’m guessing their increasing workload means that they’re undertaking many projects at once which makes them constantly busy. Busy to the point that they’re not spending time together, even if they’re living and working under the same roof.”

Mikasa nodded slowly. Leave it to Armin to analyze the situation and understand it perfectly. “Exactly. And I can see that they’ve been stressing out from their work as well but not saying anything about it.”

“What they need is a vacation,” Annie suggested.

“That sounds good in theory, but they’re both workaholics. Taking a long break would probably stress them out even more considering that they create and edit their own content and feel pressured to still upload videos, even when they shouldn’t.”

“They’re going to another city for a convention as guest speakers, but it’s all going to be just work,” Mikasa agreed, “Eren told me that they also planned on meeting with their publisher for their upcoming book while they’re there while Dad is going to be testing some AR machine prototypes.”

“Man, Uncle Levi is so lucky…”

“Armin, focus.”

“Oh, right. Hm… I do think Annie’s right, though. Your parents need a break of some sort, but how about making it for a day at a time so they don’t miss as much?”

“And take away their phones so they won’t have it as a distraction,” Annie added.

“I guess it’s a worth a shot,” Mikasa said after thinking on it. A day without their phones wouldn’t kill them. “But how do I go on about doing that?”

“Ah, but what kind of friends would we be if we don’t help you trap your parents together like the good ol’ days?” Annie chuckled at Armin’s remark and Mikasa couldn’t help but smile, her mood perking up considerably.

“You definitely take after Uncle Erwin alright.” With a smile still on her face, reached for her pen and pad of paper, poised and ready to start taking notes. “Now, let’s get this plan started.”

Levi wearily eyed his daughter beside him. She was humming a happy tune as she drove the car, not noticing his blatant staring as she entered the intersection before making a left turn.

He glanced at the rear-view mirror and caught Eren’s eyes with his. Eren had a look of confusion on his face and he shared the same sentiment. Mikasa was behaving strangely all morning, demanding that he and Eren get dressed before leaving the house, not answering to any questions on where they were going before she literally pushed them outside and into the car. Any further questions about where she was taken them were met with silence so they eventually gave up and let her continue with her parent-napping.

Levi turned his attention to the window beside him, unsure of what else to do. Absentmindedly, he took out his phone and saw the notifications of unread emails. He internally sighed as he began to answer the emails, not noticing how Mikasa’s happy behavior dimmed down once he did.

After some time, the car came to a complete halt and Mikasa parked the car. “We’re here.”

He looked up and saw that they were at the entrance of a hotel. Finding the name scrawled on the side, he turned to look at her. “Santa Monica Beach? Is there a conference here or something?”

She scoffed and muttered, “Of course you would think of that,” before taking off her seatbelt, not answering his question. “Come on, get out.”

Levi and Eren got out of the car and followed her into the lavish lobby. Mikasa went straight to the front desk while her parents stood off to the side awkwardly as she started talking to the receptionist.

“What do you think she’s doing?” Eren asked.

“I don’t know. She’s been acting weird for the past couple of days.”

“Really?”

It was Levi’s turn to ask him a question, “You haven’t noticed?”

“Not really,” Eren replied back hesitantly, “I’ve been kind of busy lately.”

Levi hummed in agreement and their whispered conversation stopped once Mikasa came back with keycards in her hands. “These are for you,” she declared as she pushed the cards into his hands. “I arranged for an early check-in for your room. You guys will be staying on the second floor in room 216 with an ocean view. I’ll be right back.”

She fled out of the hotel before either Eren or Levi could utter out a sound. Levi looked at the shiny cards in his hands and before he knew it, Mikasa was back with his and Eren’s usual carry-on bags for flights and placed them on the floor. When did she pack those?

“Final thing, give me your phones.” Her arms were outstretched and she took the surrendered phones and pocketed them in her hoodie. “Perfect.”

“Mikasa, can you please tell us what’s going on now?” Eren asked.

The teenager crossed her arms and jutted her hip to the side. “You two are going to have a day off together. No phone, no work. Just a day for you two to catch up.”

“You can’t be serious, we have business to do,” Levi argued.

“Your work can survive without you for a day,” Mikasa said. “I’ll take any calls for you while you guys are having your day together.”

“But-”

“When was the last time you two went on a date? Just one day to enjoy each other’s company and not thinking about work?”

Eren and Levi looked at each other, trying to remember the last time they were alone together, looking ashamed as they did.

The few seconds of silence was all that Mikasa needed to hear. “See?” She had her smug, “I-told-you-so” voice and the two adults frowned on how right she was. “So take the day off. It’s not going to kill you.”

Backing away from them, she continued, “I’ll pick you up here around noon tomorrow for check-out. Oh, and don’t bother to call Uncle Erwin or Uncle Farlan to pick you up because they were the ones who booked the room for you.”

“Ta-ta for now. Have fun and always remember to use protection!” She practically skipped her way out of the lobby and smirked when her parents yelled after her.

They watched as she got back into the car and drove away. Eyeing the cards again, Levi turned to Eren with a sheepish look on his face. “Shall we?”

Eren beamed and Levi’s breath hitched for a moment. When was the last time he saw Eren smile at him like that? Thinking back on it, maybe Mikasa was right about having a day to themselves.

Returning the smile with his own, he reached for Eren’s hand and took hold of their bags with the other, wondering how the rest of the day would turn out like with just the two of them.

#fic: comh #comh update

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kyojinofbraveos · 8 years ago

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An Analyze: Ymir.

Long long time ago, an anon asked a Ymir analyze.

Today, I am here to deliver.

Ok, actually that was suppose to be published on Ymir’s birthday and it was gonna be her birthday present but unfortunately I failed. It was really for Ymir, not any of my drunk, crazy or traitor anons. Sorry not sorry anons.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t finish it on Ymir’s birthday.

But that is fine, because everyday is a Ymir day if you wish hard enough! Right, right?!

So happy birthday Ymir! Yay!

Don’t look at me like that, fandom! I am sorry I couldn’t finish it, it is actually really hard to write a meta damn!

I actually do not tend to write character analyses until I make sure that their character arc has done, like there is a Jean meta waiting for me because I think his character arc has mostly done. And for a long period of time, I was believing Ymir’s arc has not done yet and she is gonna come back to Historia but with the timeskip at 90, I joined the” Ymir is probably dead” club. I still want to believe Isayama is not going to kill her off screen. That is why I delayed this post for so long.

This post is dedicated to dearest Ymir.

Happy birthday, I wish you to be alive, to be safe and to be with Historia.

Though it is probably impossible in SnK world.

Let’s begin!

Year 78~

About like 70 years ago, when Ymir was dumped by her family to streets like she is some kind of dog for unknown reasons, some man found her and named her with an unusual name even for an Eldian: Ymir.

You know, Eldian’s god given miracle, the goddess Ymir that started all these mess 2000 years ago.

After that, that man who seems to be a priest takes her to church and starts to tell everyone that the Goddess Ymir has reborn in the child’s body. He tells baby!Ymir that if she lies with him, he is gonna give her everything she wants. And that is how the story of our liar duo begins!

And everybody believes these two liars directly because what Church says is absolute, Church can not lie, they speak in the name of Eldian Gods.

Right?

It is also interesting that while the priest that names Ymir is all in white clothes, the priests at Walled Society were all in black. I wonder what this opposition means, it is probably because of the changes First King has made. Since Isayama still doesn’t shows us anything from the mainland, I am guessing before First King’s brainwash, Eldians were worshipping Ymir Fritz or whatever the gods they had, but after the brainwash they started to worship Maria, Rose and Shina.

Chapter 89.

Levi working his legs out with Nick, Chapter 37.

Getting back to Ymir...

With their lies, our Ymir and the priest gives Eldian people something they have forgotten: Hope. That their goddess has reborn and she is going to save every Eldian, their misery will be over.

These are enough reasons for them to start worshipping our baby Ymir.

Hope is enough for them to believe.

As a little child who has grown with no love or care, Ymir likes all these attention. Ymir likes being worshipped, she loves being a goddess. She loves acting like a goddess even more.

All she had to do is telling people the lies priest ask her to, little Ymir sees how these lies are making people so happy and not just that, she gets whatever she wants thanks to that lies.

And that is just so great.

Everyone is so happy.

The end. Yay!

Except, it is not the end of course.

Liar’s candle lightens people until sun arrives.

This sun is in our case Marley.

In Marley’s point of view, if it is true and Ymir has reborn, that is a big threat to Marley and reborn goddess needs to be eliminated.

If it is a lie, it is unacceptable to Marley because if Ymir gives people enough hope, these can cause madness and rebellions within Eldians.

So they pop up in to our goddess’ big party and ruin it.

And everything starts to tear apart.

That trickster priest this time blames Ymir, tells the Marley police that she is the one who fooled him even though the reality is the opposite.

Ymir looks at her people, tragically they are her people and she ended up caring, and maybe who knows loving them like some kind of goddess, the priest that gave her something she can say home or hotel at least, the people praised her even though she lied to them to the end. They were the closest thing Ymir had as a family. She ended up loving all the lies and the luxury that comes with them, she was saved thanks to those lies. So she keeps lying until the end, this time not to save herself but to save others.

She thinks if I lie once again, it will make everything fine.

She tells Marley that it is herself that fooled everyone. She thinks it is gonna save her people.

But it doesn’t.

To make Eldians remember what they actually are, they humiliate their symbol of hope as best as they can.

Ymir raises her head, and looks at all those people who hates her just for existing. To them, her sin is just that big, just that unacceptable; her sin is existing.

She wishes that it would have been much better if she would have never born.

I wonder before Marley arrive, how much she knew about Marley, how she felt about them. Did she cared for them because in the end she is a goddess, did she feared them, hated them? Who knows maybe she didn’t care about them that much?

Since deep down Ymir is actually a loving and selfless person, I don’t think she bear any hate to Marley.

When the trouble is the Eldians, Marley has the best solution: Give them Titan serum and throw them out a Wall.

And so that is how Ymir dies.

She closes her eyes and falls to sand as she is turning into a mindless Titan, the next 60~ years are gonna be like an endless nightmare.

Year 845.

When she opens her eyes once again, and all she can see is freedom.

And probably a horde of Titans.

I assume Ymir yummed poor Marcel after Bertolt and Reiner kicked down Wall Maria as she said to Bert herself.

She took a life while she was unconscious but she gained her’s back and not just that, she also learned her lesson.

Chapter 89.

As we all born, we people are told that we are all special. We are all the chosen children of God, we are the greatest achievement of God or Mother Nature, we are the last form of evolution, we are the last chain of food chain and at the top of food pyramid.

But to Ymir, to our part-time goddess full-time gorgeous Ymir, these are not true. Lies. Just lies.

To quote my own meta: (Cause I can quote my own meta)

To Ymir, there is nothing more, that is why this world is fascinating. Because out of that madness, if you are lucky enough, you may also see a little beauty in it out of all those horrible things. There is no god, nor devil. Just humans. And we can still create, built and dream even with al the madness around us.

She looks at starry sky and she realizes she is not a slave of anything anymore.

No more lies she needs to say.

No more roles she needs to play.

No more people she needs to please.

She promises herself that from now on, she is gonna live for nobody but herself. That she is not gonna accept defeat and gonna be the proof of something like fate does not exists. She is gonna live for herself with her head held high like the way she was always suppose to.

She is really free indeed, right?

Of course, until she reaches Walls.

There, she keeps lying, stealing and acting but this time, just for her sake.

Maybe nobody is worshipping her, but at least she is taking care of herself and she is deciding the way her life can go.

But then something happens.

Something that is going to change her decision.

Chapter 40.

Another goddess.

As she overhears Historia’s tragedy, we can see the how much Ymir can relate. She realizes that just like herself, Historia was also hated just for existing.

We can see the determination in her face as she keeps listening that gossiper priests. And they seem to gossip more than we know since also Annie overheard them!

Ymir wants to find that royal girl and give her the rebuke of her life.

But why?

Why does she joins the Military just for Historia?

To scold her?

To manipulate her?

To give her the speech of her life?

To mother her?

Or to stop her from making the mistakes she also has made?

Why, Historia asks.

Yeah, their backgrounds are indeed similar but is that enough for anyone to join Military?

Not just that, of course.

Ymir acts harsh to people, she is selfish, she refers herself as the worst human being possible, she loves herself above many.

This becomes an exception if the issue is Historia, or Krista that time.

And thanks to that exception, we get to see a different side of Ymir, a side she never shows, a side she always tries to cover: Her kindness. Reckless Ymir who teases people all the time and critics people for not being true to themselves has a kind and a caring heart under that skin.

Not just that, she can read other people incredibly well. For example she reads Historia and her true intentions about saving Dazz. That is partly because she is good at making emphaty and partly because she is quite smart.

Something I really like about Ymir’s and Historia’s relationship is that both of them can criticize each other, they can tell each other to stop, they yell at each other and sometimes one can say other to fuck off but that does not stop them from being together still. The foundation of this honesty was build at snowy mountains first and grow stronger as time goes by. This is so rare when we take a look at other relationships in Snk.

And them being honest to each other is not just the end, they can, or sometimes try, to understand each other. Specifically on Ymir’s side.

She can relate to Historia and Historia has all her sympathy because Ymir can understand her. Something Historia was never able to have, understanding.

We humans want understanding, we want to be loved, we want to love.

Ymir is no exception. Nor Historia.

She finds Historia at their trainee days, she knows she is lying because a liar can see who is telling the truth and who is not very easily. At the night of ceremony, their relationship begins.

When she and Historia are at snowy mountains, she understands that Historia actually wants to kill herself along with Dazz and stops her with a little help from her Titan powers™, she tells Historia she is gonna be tell the truth to her if Historia stops lying as well.

She tells Historia to accept the name she was born under and carry it with pride. Like Ymir is doing.

Historia is not ready to drop Krista.

So Ymir does not tell her how she saved Dazz as they both jumped off that cliff.

As time goes by, our duo becomes even closer and closer.

As time goes by, their relationship becomes even stronger and stronger.

But of course that doesn’t stop Ymir from gapping around and teasing people.

Like she did with Sasha. She also notices Sasha is pretending with the way she speaks, that it is not the way she actually talks and as Ymir, she teases her and tries to encourage her to speak with her accent in a Ymir-ish way.

I love this scene you know, Chapter 36.

Ymir has a habbit to criticizing people, especially when she notices that they are lying. That is one of many reasons why most of the trainees do not like her, they don’t want her to share her wisdom with them because she mostly speaks the truth and people mostly don’t like to hear it, look Chapter 90 or look at whole Return to Shiganshina Arc.

Most of the trainees just refers her as the girl who always hangs out with Krista, people can’t understand why does a goddess like Krista hangs out with that trash.

But let’s be honest, in the end Ymir is the one who secretly encourages Historia to go for the Military Police so that she can have a nice life.

We don’t see that in the first chapter, however that scene exists in the first draft!

Also, Isayama why does fifteen year olds are drinking beer?

In the canon manga, Isayama decides to cut that scene however the realization hits Historia one way or another.

Chapter 37.

Ymir evades her questions by saying that she is there just for herself, but that is not exactly true, she is not there hust for herself, she is also there for Historia.

And she also joins the Survey Corps just to keep Historia safe, for someone who promised to live for herself it is just crazy, right?

But Ymir does not mind if it is crazy, reckless or what if it is for Historia.

She tells what she is thinking right away, she doesn’t treat people nice, she treats them honest but that doesn’t always mean there is bad intention in it.

Like the time when she tells Historia if she is gonna cry because she is joining Survey Corps then it is better if she goes for MP.

Or like the time when she mocks with Connie at Castle Utgard.

Chapter 39.

Like Historia is gonna point out in Chapter 52, what Ymir trying to do here is not making fun of Connie even though she knows the truth, she is mocking with Connie to distract him because if he gives it too much thoughts he is gonna have doubts about the truth of what happened to Rangako village. Ymir knows this and teases Connie so that he won’t get hurt.

Deep down, she really cares about other people. It is just hard to notice it because she covers that like it is some kind of sin.

At Utgard, we also find out that Ymir can read the secret herring language. I don’t know what is it but if I had to guess, I’d say it suppose to be Marleyan or Ancient Eldian since Reiner can read it too and remember when Zeke met Mike, he asked him if it is the correct language or not. The origins of secret herring language is still a mystery. Maybe who knows, it is East Sea Clan’s language?

Let’s stop cracking and keep meta-ing.

A red sun is rises at Utgard.

Blood has been spilled this night.

104th watch the red sun rising, their veterans tearing apart and they realize this is the last sunrise they will ever see.

It is all over, they think. Except Titan shifters.

But Ymir doesn’t. She is not gonna give up on her’s, Historia’s and all the other 104th’s life that easily! Not yet.

She looks at Historia and sees that she is still trying to find an excuse for her suicide and she reminds her the snowy mountains and how they become close. She looks at Connie that has lost everything within hours and takes the knife from him.

Reiner asks her what she is gonna do.

She says she will fight with a scary look on her face. She is scared indeed.

She turns to Historia to say one last wish.

Year is 850.

She is probably gonna die once again to save others, she is gonna sacrifice herself once again and this will be a prove that she is indeed a victim of her fate, she is scared, she is about to reveal that she is a Titan humanity has been fighting for ever yet she smiles. She is probably smiling at the irony here. No matter where you look at it, it is ironic in the end. She promised to live for herself yet she is dying for someone else once again. That is not a chance that everyone gets twice! At least this time she is gonna sacrifice herself for someone that actually cares for her and someone she actually cares for. Maybe this is the consolation she can get.

She looks at Historia, smiles to her and wishes for one last thing before jumping out of that tower.

To live her life with pride.

Like she has always wished. Like she tried to when another chance was given to her.

And the girl with a little knife jumps out of that tower.

There is nothing left to hide anymore, Reiner and Bertolt discovered the Titan that ate Marcel; Historia and Connie has learned what actually Ymir is.

A titan shifter.

A titan shifter that just jumped off from that tower and gave up on her life to save them. To save Historia, specifically.

As Connie asks which side Ymir is with, something hits to Historia.

For the first time in her life, someone is on her side, no matter what.

Someone has sacrificed herself for her, for the first time ever.

Great Guru Historia shouts her words of wisdom, like smashing the tower she and also other 104th there are standing on.

And this wisdom reaches Ymir and she finds that really useful as an advice.

As she does what Historia said, our Great Guru cherishes it with joy and starts hopping like a child at the edge of a falling tower.

But before tower collapses, she does not forget her main target: Keeping them safe.

Bert is ready to transform.

Reiner is injured so I am quite sure he also is.

Connie lets Historia go and is about to run other way.

Historia is terrified with the scary face standing in front of her that is suppose to belong Ymir.

They don’t know whether Ymir is an ally or enemy.

As Ymir tells them to grab on, they jump on her to save their lives.

The tower collapses but the danger is standing still.

History looks at the Dancing Titan while it is still looking away, on the watch if any Titan is still alive.

To her, Dancing Titan is not a monster, it is Ymir. No different than any other time.

As the Pure Titans are ripping Ymir into pieces, she probably thinks that in the end, what Ymir was afraid did not happen. Historia didn’t treat her like a monster.

Thank you Survey Corps for chiming in with all your charisma and saving the day.

As Historia is holding Ymir, she reveals her real name too and Ymir smiles, but this time with relive.

So she closes her eyes once again, this time with peace.

Until of course Colossal and Armored Titans kidnap her alongside with Eren.

She wakes up and there is no smiling Historia but Bertolt’s sweaty face.

She turns her head a little and sees the shifting marks around Reiner’s eyes.

There is an angry sleepy roll, aka Eren next to her.

Our clever girl is able to understand what is going on.

She tries to get a little word from Reiner or Bertolt but there is nothing of course.

Eren wakes up and she founds out that they are returning to Marley.

And she is not happy about it.

We also see how intelligent Ymir is once again in Chapter 46. She reads Reiner and his unusual behaviors, connects the dots and analysis him perfectly.

She is able to understand why Bertolt is sitting there quietly, waiting for Reiner to finish like it is so regular for Reiner to talk like that. She understands that it is not the first time Reiner is acting crazy.

She asks Reiner and Bertolt about Beast Titan, she digs a little and lightens us, readers that Beast Titan was just testing the Walled People’s strengths. Though she doesn’t know anything about Beast Titan that time, unlike Reiner and Bertolt who is quite familiar with Zeke.

She also can read Eren’s character even better than Eren himself.

She keeps playing Doctor Strange and is about to tell Eren many truths about the world until Reiner reminds her that she is not that different from them.

There is also a person she wants to protect.

A person she is super gay.

Krista.

Reiner asks who is more reliable.

Them who knows what actually lies beyond the Wall and the truth about the world or Eren who really really does not aware of any single thing.

Who will protect Krista best, Reiner asks. Warriors or soldiers?

Yeah, with Ymir joining Warriors it is not like they can protect her from any troubles or death that Marley is gonna cause her once again.

But the Marley are coming and it is not guaranteed that even if Ymir teams up with Eren, Historia will be safe. Ymir can’t risk anything if she gambles on Eren, but Reiner really can do something for someone who is royal like Historia. And Beast Titan’s appearance is already ringing the bells of wars everywhere.

The answer is crystal clear to someone super- aware like Ymir.

Look at the way her face changes immediately. It is not mocking Ymir, it is not super analyzer Ymir, it is holy-shit-gotta-protect-Historia Ymir. And the determination at the next panel just tells us what her choice is gonna be.

It is either her 10 years remained or Historia’s whole life.

She chooses Reiner and with that, she chooses Historia’s life over her own.

Thank you Reiner for summing up my whole post! Chapter 47.

Bertolt and Reiner sees the signal flares of Survey Corps, they know SC are here to kill Colossal and Armored Titan and capture Dancing Titan.

Before they got on the way, Bertolt and Ymir catch a little chance to have something most of the characters are running or not getting the chance to do: They talk with each other about their tragic past.

Ymir apologies from Bertolt about what happened to Marcel.

Bertolt understands completely and says it is alright. See, a mature convo between two mature individuals! We don’t get to see this that much in this manga. But we need to. Really.

As they are on their way to who knows where, Ymir also sees the signal fires of SC. And something just hits her.

She is gonna die one way or another.

She won’t be able to see Historia once again.

But if the SC is close, then Historia is definetely there to save her.

It is not like she is going to go with Historia and hide behind the Walls, but before her death there is only one thing she wishes: To see Historia one last time.

She acts selfish, she lets her emotions lead her and she just really, really wants to see Krista one more time. And maybe even taking her Marley alongside herself. She knows Marley is not gonna kill her and Reiner is gonna keep her safe. Like Connie is gonna point out to Historia, Ymir is only willful when it comes to save Krista.

Maybe like Kruger said about Dina, Marley will let Historia live but they’ll also use her to breed more royal children. However it is probably better than ripping apart by Titans or being tortured by Marleyans.

She tells Reiner and Bertolt that if they don’t compromise about taking Historia with them as well, she is gonna turn into a Titan and run away from them. It is their choice, her side is clear.

I am sorry but I just love her psycho face there, I had to add this page.

Reiner don’t have that much choice. Ymir leaves him only one way to go.

Ymir turns into a titan, Survey Corps see that shifting-lightning and she waits for Historia. As Historia flies to her with joy, she finds herself in Ymir’s titan’s mouth. You can guess the shock she is having.

Suddenly, Reiner transforms in the air and Ymir jumps on him, they start to running alongside with Eren and Historia.

And it doesn’t take that much of time for Survey Corps to understand who Ymir is helping.

Ymir takes Historia out of her mouth and apologies because she ate her. At least she is kind enough to apologize.

To Historia, the main point is not Ymir eating her, it is why she is with Reiner and Bertolt. She asks her if Bertolt and Reiner are forcing her to kidnap her while the truth is actually the opposite, like Bert says so.

Ymir tells Historia that they are going with them, that there will be nobody to say her it’d be better if she had never been born. To Historia that is of course true, Titans can’t tell things like this while they are busy eating her. While Ymir does not explain what actually lies beyond the Walls, she just asks Historia to come with them. To Historia, that makes no sense.

She tells Ymir that is she wants, they can fight together against Reiner and Bertolt and go to Walls together. Ymir suddenly seems to forgot the promise she gave to Reiner and Bertolt until Bert reminds her the situation.

Ymir has to make a choice once again, it is either going with Bertolt and Reiner or going back to Walls with Historia.

She tells Historia that she just snatched her to save herself. She tells her that after she overheard the conversation those two priests are having, she decided that this information matters and can help her. Even if the world changes, Historia is her insurance to save herself. She begs Historia to save her.

She is lying here, obviously.

She is lying to convince Historia so that she does not make any trouble on their way. She is lying Historia to make her stay on her side.

And she finds those lies so well, it all makes sense to Historia because that is the selfish Ymir she knows. If it is for saving Ymir, then she can go with them. She really can. She is on Ymir’s side in the end. She agrees to go with Warriors.

But their troubles are far from over.

Survey Corps has caught up with them and they are not gonna let Warriors run away that easily.

After Mikasa makes her famous speech to Historia, Historia asks Ymir to stop fighting because they can’t handle Mikasa and Survey Corps. Bertolt runs behind the safe hands of Reiner and Ymir is standing there, doing nothing.

Eren has waken up and he keeps kicking, he is trying to escape.

Jean and Connie outside asking to Bertolt and Reiner that was everything actually a lie.

Mikasa demands Eren back.

Bert is all alone in the dark, there is Eren kicking around and she listens all the things his friends, former friends are saying.

And suddenly, Bert can’t take all the pressure and he breaks down.

Bertolt cries and begs someone to find them.

Ymir hears his cries, and she seems to have a sympathy. She knows what it feels like to being lost. Bert asks someone to save them, someone to find them and understand them.

Ymir’s look is quite similar to the one when she overheard the priest’s secret gossip club.

Bert breaks not just ours, but also Ymir’s kokoro.

Mikasa demands Eren back one more time from him.

Bert replies he can’t, and keeps telling himself that someone has to get their hands on blood. Someone has to.

There is also someone who knows the fact Bert is talking about, Erwin. He does not afraid to get his hands on blood as well. And he has brought a horde of Titans alongside with himself.

Not just Warriors, also soldiers are fighting against same monsters here. But this time, all Titans decide to attack on titans, specifically Titan Shifters.

After action and action, with the help of Armin’s manipulative voice *cough*Gesumin*cough* one armed one armied commander Erwin slices distracted Bert in two and Survey Corps get Eren back.

Connie also catches Historia like she is some kind of bird somehow. She refuses to go back to Walls and says Connie that she needs to save Ymir, but Connie being the smart and calm person there he reminds Historia that Ymir is only working like crazy when it comes to save Krista, not herself.

And Historia realizes that Ymir has lied to save her once again.

Madness continues as Reiner starts to toss Titans to Survey Corps.

Ymir saves Erwin.

Why, I really thought of this.

It was definetely not because she empathies with Erwin or respects him, no. Erwin is the one who screws their plan up and causes all these madness.

It was probably because she was taking her insurance with saving one armed one armied commander. Even if she returns to Walls, she can say that RB was forcing her and she was on their side since forever. It was for an insurance.

She thinks about which one she needs to choose, to join the Warriors or Soldiers once again.

But this time, she is not the one that is going to make that decision. Great Guru Historia speaks once again and she tells Ymir to they both need to stop fighting for others and start fighting for themselves.

Me: Hyped.

Suddenly Ymir makes her choice: Fuck the world, I am at Historia’s side.

A wise choice indeed!

Most of her life Ymir lived for not herself but other people. For the priest, for her followers etc. She lied, fooled and them died for other people but here Historia is, telling her something she has always wished for, she has always tried to do. Live for yourself, be on your side.

And not just that, she also tells her that no matter what happens, she does not afraid to be on her side.

That Ymir is accepted and being loved no matter what by her.

Something Ymir was never able to get.

Another reason to love the relationship of these two: They both have barely seen actual love and acceptance in their life yet they accepted and loved each other and not just that, they learn to love themselves thanks to each other.

Historia and Connie teams up with Ymir and they take action even more!

Then a wild Coordinate appears!

At that moment like Bert and Ymir and also Eren himself, Ymir feels everything is connected, so this is what Coordinate is, she thinks. And she realizes that these world might have a future in the end. She can return to Walls alongside with Historia and they may be saved.

But she hears something else.

A scream.

A scream she has heard before.

A scream lead her to her second chance.

Bertolt’s.

But this time, he screams for help.

Again.

Out of a mix combat between empathy and sympathy, Ymir knows what she is gonna choose this time.

And she is not gonna like it.

She turns to Historia once again and this time apologies, she really means it. She is really sorry.

That is her last word to Historia’s face: Sorry.

And she turns her back and runs to save Bertolt and Reiner.

This time, for the first time ever, someone hears Bertolt’s scream for help. Someone finds them this time. It is Ymir. She saves them.

Historia reaches her hand to her as Connie pulls the bridle of her horse.

Ymir has made her choice, she has chose to hear BR’s screams one more time at that moment where her selflessness takes the control. She has chosen someone else’s life over herself once again.

You can see the relieve of RB as Ymir chimes in!

After they rescue, at the top of Wall Maria, Reiner asks Ymir why she has chosen to be on their side.

Ymir says that is because she is an idiot. That is actually kinda true. Ymir is indeed an idiot that never learns and keeps sacrificing herself.

Reiner says she can run away and both of them are gonna close their eyes as she does. He is aware what this choice is gonna cost to her.

But she says that she is done and that is alright.

Bert asks why did she saved him.

She says she has heard her voice and that is how she got her second chance. Her second chance she is gonna give up to save him.

Bert says he is thankful and sorry but Ymir says it is alright.

Being a goddess does not feel so bad either. She knows that much at least. Experience is talking there.

She reaches her hand out to something, no, someone. To Historia.

And she reaches out for her like she can actually reach her.

She has promised herself to be prove of fate doesn’t decided at birth.

Yeah, she nailed to do that but she missed something else.

She sealed her fate by making same choices all over again.

It is like Ymir keeps repeating a pattern and no matter what happens.

She has a kind heart but she hides it under her sarcastic, mean attitude because her kind side is the reason why she got into that much trouble. She is selfless and sacrificial no matter how much she tries to hide it. She just can’t stop being like that. It is not a bad thing though, it really isn’t. These qualifications are actually my reasons to love her character. It is not like she is naive also. She knows what her choices are gonna cost her and she chooses them still. If Ymir wouldn’t have those sides, she wouldn’t have come all this way long and she wouldn’t be an interesting character.

She criticizes people for not being true to themselves because she knows what that costs or is going to cost to them. She is brave enough to speak her words and she doesn’t care what other people are gonna think about that. I like that way of hers. I like that honesty.

She has always stucked between two options: Keep lying or tell Marley the truth, go find Historia or don’t, choose Survey Corps or not, reveal your identity or not, choose Historia or not, cooperate with BR or not, save Bertolt or not.

She has always sucked between the emotional choices and logical ones.

Between selfless and selfish ones.

It is impressive how she tends to choose sacrificial ones over suicidal ones. No wonder why she refers herself as an idiot.

Ymir is like a prisoner of wheel of fate, not by birth but by choices.

But as she writes in the letter that has been delivered by Reiner, she has no regrets in the end. She is the one that chose them, she lived her life the way she chose to live and that is something Ymir was never able to get at first one. She found love, she has been loved and she even got some super cool Titan powers! No wonder why she has no regrets™.

Except one.

Not being able to marry Historia.

I don’t know whether she is alive or not, but like I said at the beginning of the post that is so above you may not remember it, I think she has gone, probably. I still want to believe Isayama is gonna kill her out of screen. Even if she is dead, that doesn’t mean she is not important to story or everyone has forgotten her. She will keep living at ours, Historia’s and hopefully other’s memories as well. A big part of Snk is also about remembering and also moving on. Moving on does not mean you have to forget about your past, it is about owning it and moving to your future with clear steps.

Like the way it happened to Historia. She never forgot Ymir and started to live her life with her head held high, like Ymir always wished her to.

Like Ymir always lived.

Thank you all for reading!

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