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starlightlance · 7 years ago

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Confrontations

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Summary: While with the Blade of Marmora, Keith always imagined his returning being a happy one. He just didn’t expect it to go like this. (The team finds out about Keith’s self-sacrifice, Lance and Shiro decide to approach him) Words: 2,855 Notes: Happy birthday @savingklance !! (Subtle Klance and Broganes)

While with the Blade of Marmora, Keith always imagined his returning being a happy one. It couldn’t hurt to hope for one happy moment. As much as he pushed them away, he so desperately wanted to be back with them. He wanted to hear Pidge’s rambling. He wanted to taste Hunk’s cooking. He wanted the secure presence of Shiro. He wanted the stability of Allura and Coran. He...he wanted Lance’s comfort. He wanted to have it all again.

He just didn’t expect it to go like this.

All of it was true. He did crave the familial bond he formed with his team, especially since he never had that back on Earth. But he knew they didn’t need him. It was blatantly obvious that the team would do so much better without him and now that Shiro could pilot the black lion, he wasn’t needed. Keith was never fit to be the leader anyways. He always needed someone to hold him down and stop him from making reckless decisions. That someone was almost always Lance. And that was another reason. He didn’t want Lance feeling like he wasn’t needed on the team. Keith never understood that cause if anyone wasn’t needed it was him. Red was in good hands and Keith didn’t need to interfere. So, naturally, he did what was right.

But instead of sacrificing himself, Lotor had interfered and now they were more confused than ever. Keith had no doubt in his mind that it all would've been better if Lotor had just stayed out of it and Keith died instead. It was for the good of the team. And now, because his plan failed, they were discussing negotiations, potential betrayal, and whatever else could come out of Lotor’s strange requests. If only he had been a little faster...Lotor a little slower. But it didn't matter. Now, he was stuck with his thoughts and the rest of the team for at least a week. He had no idea when he’d join the Blade of Marmora for missions again. They were waiting until a decision was made. Lotor had requested to have a discussion and...they did. He wanted an alliance to help take down his father, Zarkon. But Keith and the others were, of course, wary so they were given a couple days to think it over. A couple days of everything and nothing.

Keith trudged down the empty hallway, still wearing his Marmora suit. He couldn't remember the last time he wore normal clothing during the day. He didn't exactly know where he was going either. Walking around the castle was sort of therapeutic, it gave him a sense of home. He would make up for lost time with the paladins, but what was the point if he left again? He’d just get hopelessly attached and become even weaker than he already was.

Though his alone time was short-lived. The door at the end of the hallway slid open and Keith’s heart rate sped up when he saw the person walking towards him. Lance. He hadn't actually spoken to Lance outside of the diplomatic meeting yet. He was almost scared that something would go wrong and ruin all that happened between them. What would you even call it? A friendship, possibly. Though the more time went on the more Keith definitely didn't want just a friendship. And that terrified him.

Lance was silent until he stood a few feet away from Keith, looking him in the eye. He wore his casual ensemble, the dark green jacket with a blue and grey shirt underneath. His brow was furrowed and he looked concerned. Seeing Lance like this was always a little jarring to Keith, especially after the paladin had come to his bedroom to speak.

“Keith,” He finally spoke. Keith finally made eye contact, and Lance’s eyes were even more worried than he thought. “I need to talk to you.”

Confusion and worry overtook Keith, but he simply crossed his arms and nodded. “O-okay.”

Lance sulked and his fingers fidgeted with his hoodie. “I noticed at the diplomatic meeting you seemed really strange. Like, even more closed off than normal and you...you were shaking. I figured it had something to do with the battle, so I spoke with Matt, who-who saw you fighting and...he told me what happened.”

Keith realized what Lance was talking about immediately. His sacrifice. Damnit, Keith forgot Matt had seen him voluntarily try to save everyone else by giving himself up. He’d planned on keeping it a secret forever, or at least until this was long over. He had to squeeze his own arms to keep them from shaking again. “Oh.”

“Oh? All you're going to say is ‘oh?’” Lance’s worry quickly shifted to anger as he put aggressive air quotes around the word ‘oh.’

Keith averted his gaze, staring at the floor and blinking rapidly to keep tears from welling up. He didn't want anyone to know. He didn't want this. He didn't want this. “What else do you want me to say?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith saw Lance’s mouth wide open. His hands shot up into the air, exasperated. “Keith, what were you thinking?!”

He scowled, looking up at Lance again. “I was thinking about the millions of people that could've died. I was doing my job.” Who was Lance to tell him what he could and couldn't do? He was a part of the Blade of Marmora. He was part Galra. Victory or death. Victory or death. He had to try to save those people. He had to do something. The galaxy could afford to lose someone as unnecessary as Keith in favor of all those innocent lives.

Still, Lance was having none of it. “It's not your job to die, Keith.”

“It's not your job to tell me what I can and can't do,” Keith retorted.

“But you can't just...you can't just do that! You can't go around ready to sacrifice yourself for any other being in the universe all the time.”

“And why not?” Keith snapped. “Hell, why are you even yelling at me about this anyway?”

“It's because I care about you!” Keith froze, staring with wide eyes as Lance’s expression slowly shifted from anger to hurt. “Do you not see how your death would impact us? When you were gone...I felt so unsure of everything. I went back to being the goofball because we all needed it. But….there was such a huge piece that was missing. And you're that piece.”

“Lance, I-”

“Listen, I know how you feel. I know what it's like to not be able to even grasp a reason to see yourself as valuable. But you, you are so essential to this team. Not just in fights but...as our friend. As my friend.”

Keith felt Lance’s words tug on his heartstrings and before he knew it his eyes were welling up with tears. Fuck, now he was crying? Pathetic. “I-I’m sorry. I should...go.” He put a hand on his face and began to turn until he was pulled back into a tight embrace. Lance’s arms nearly dug into his back, making the hug tight and warm. Keith never thought he was one for physical contact, but as he melted into the hug and let his face fall into Lance’s shoulder, he realized how touch starved he really was. Lance smelled like soap, like rain, like Lance. Add that to the list of Keith’s favorite smells.

With his head buried into the other’s shoulder, Keith allowed himself to let go. Nearly sobbing on Lance’s jacket, Keith was sure Lance would get a little pissed, but all he did was trace tiny circles on Keith’s back. Lance was so strong. Especially after this, Keith knew he wasn't the only one going through issues with himself. By now, Keith had become aware of Lance’s self-esteem issues, and still, Lance was here comforting Keith like he wasn't going through almost the same thing. In between sobs, Keith whispered into the jacket, “I’ll help you like you helped me.”

Lance didn't hear him. Instead, he kept tracing his hands all over the other boy’s back. “I shouldn't have yelled. You're going through a lot right now. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, Lance. You were worried.”

The two boys parted, locking their eyes. Keith gazed at Lance, fondness and warmth filling his chest. Lance then placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder, a final embrace. “I need you to know that you are loved. By all of us. You have a family here.”

Keith didn't know how to respond. “Th-thank you.”

The corners of Lance’s lips turned upwards. Keith really loved that smile. “Alright then. Let's find the rest of the team, I’m sure they want to see you again.” Keith nodded, excitement buzzing through his mind. He was so damn glad to be back. This is exactly what he needed. And...and even if things were only temporarily fixed, Keith was able to believe that everything was okay, for even a single moment.

…

Belief didn't always last too long. Sure, the few days after his talk with Lance had been great. But, the atmosphere around Keith had become indescribably strange. He found himself on the end of concerned looks and glances, from his teammates and occasionally even the coalition members that were still lingering about. Keith had absolutely no idea why, until he remembered the conversation.

Someone must have overheard Keith and Lance talking. Keith wasn't sure who. Maybe Hunk, or Allura, or Pidge. It could have been anyone. He knew it likely didn't get around intentionally, but it did somehow and now Keith felt even more vulnerable. Everyone was looking at him like some sort of lost puppy who needed saving. He hated it. Keith couldn't even walk into a room without a teammate trying to hide their worried glance.

Keith didn't need pity. Hell, they were probably mad at him. Lance had claimed Keith was valued on the team, but did he mean it? Keith wholeheartedly wanted to believe he did. Lance wouldn't lie to him, would he? But still, Lance couldn't speak for the entire team.

It didn’t matter. That wasn't important. Right now, Keith had to focus on the Blade. He stood in a hallway, actually, the same one he’d talked with Lance in. The Blade members stood in front of him, going over strategy and when Keith was to rejoin them. They wanted him to join the group again immediately, yet Keith couldn't help but procrastinate his return. Being with the team for the past couple days had been the best feeling in the world, even with everything that was going on. He was not ready to lose that.

“You are improving by the tick. You must come on the next mission with us if you wish to continue your training properly,” Kolivan said, his hood down and his brows furrowed.

Keith fought back. “What mission? We don’t even know what we’re doing right now. I'm sure the Blade of Marmora can do this one thing without me.”

“Of course we can. But, you must get better. You still do not know how we operate in battle.”

Right as Keith started to say something, the same door at the end of the hall swung open. Keith turned, sort of expecting it to be Lance again, but this time it was Shiro. He looked...angry. His eyes were narrowed and his brows creased as he stormed into the room up to the Blade, specifically Kolivan. “You,” he growled.

To Keith’s surprise, Lance then followed. “Shiro, stop!” He cried out.

Shiro didn't listen. “All of you. You did this to him. You made him do that. How could you? How. Could. You.” Keith didn't understand. Was...was Shiro talking about him? He had no idea who else Shiro would be referring to. The daunting possibility of it being because of Keith’s….choice sent a chill down his spine.

“Shiro, what are you doing?” Keith said, anxiety only growing stronger.

Shiro turned to Keith. “What’s right.” It only lasted a moment, since he turned back to the Blade, all softness on his face twisted into anger. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Keith is a child. He’s a hell of a strong one, but what you’re doing to him is manipulative. Honestly, how dare you let my little brother think like that?! Did you hear me? Keith is a like a brother to me and I am not going to stand for this shit.”

Kolivan stiffened. “He was following the motto of our organization.”

“No, you made him think he was worthless! Like he didn’t matter to any us, which couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s already dealt with enough in his life, he doesn’t need an extra weight on top of him.” Keith felt a surge of warmth fill his chest. When Shiro barged in looking more enraged than Keith had ever seen him, Keith was afraid. Afraid of what was to come. A small part of him feared that the irritation was directed towards him. And then...and then Shiro defended Keith. Called the Blade of Marmora out. A man who was always so calm cared enough about Keith to yell at team Voltron’s allies. It didn't make sense. This could make a serious dent in their allyship. But...Shiro didn't care.

Kolivan huffed. “If he wishes to not return to us, he may. However, we strongly advise that he does come back to our organization.” He signaled for the rest of the Blade to leave and they made their way out of the hall, heads up high and backs straight. Keith caught Shiro’s lasting glare as they exited and they met eyes afterward, Shiro’s expression immediately becoming more caring.

Keith didn’t have time to react before Shiro gripped his hand and pulled him into a tight hug. Keith leaned into his brother, accepting the comforting gesture. It was strange. Keith had gone from absolutely no physical contact to two hugs in a few days. It felt...nice.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Shiro whispered before they backed away from each other. “Why didn’t you tell me what they made you think?”

Keith responded, “I’m sorry. I wanted to. I was just so...scared. And it-it wasn’t just the Blade. I’ve never...held myself in high regards, I guess.”

Shiro took a deep breath in, staring at Keith. He’d expected the look Shiro gave him when he was disappointed, but this one was different. It was filled with empathy a desire to heal. “Then we’re going to change that. One step at a time. I don’t care how long it takes.”

“Yeah, I got it. I’ve actually never seen you that pissed off before.” Keith couldn’t help but smirk.

Lance, who’d been still and to the side the entire time finally piped up. “You didn’t see him with Slav. He was a beast!” All of them let out loose laughter. The sound of joy rang throughout the castle hallway. Keith felt safer and warmer than he’d ever been before. He felt like he had a place here. It was new and sudden and strange. But...he liked it.

…

For Keith Kogane, growing up was never exactly easy. His dad would sit him down on their old, ratty couch and tell him stories of his mother. He always said she was an extraordinary woman. Out of this world, in fact. His father would take Keith up to their roof and show him the array of bright stars in the night sky and say, “Your mother’s up their somewhere.” Keith never knew to take it literally. He assumed she was...dead. And then his father died and left him all alone in the world. Hopping from orphanage to adoption center to foster family and back around again. He was stuck in an endless cycle of moving and moving and moving, the only constant in his life being the bright red backpack he lugged everywhere until he was sixteen. The Galaxy Garrison’s acceptance brought upon a new chapter in his life. A place where he was guaranteed to stay. Consistency. The place where he met Shiro, his newfound brother, and the place where he had his chance to rise. Then Shiro went missing. Then he lashed out. Then he got kicked out. And he was right back to where he started. Alone, with only his thoughts and his past to keep him company.

Thinking about it, running off to that crashing spaceship may have been the best decision he’s ever made. Sure, things were messy at first. He was stuck in a god damn spaceship with five people he barely knew and someone who left him for over a year. Hell, he barely even spoke to anyone besides Shiro at that point. But...things got better. Keith was able to find solace and solidarity. He strengthened connections with...with everyone. Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Coran, Shiro, and...Lance. Keith finally had what his six-year-old self only dreamed to hold close.

A family.

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queerchoicesblog · 5 years ago

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Prom Night (RoD, Ximena x MC)

This fanfic was requested by @desiree-0816 for the @choicesnovemberchallenge by @ramseyandrys . I would like to apologise as I couldn’t deliver your request fully (the 21st bday). I have been busier than expected lately and I’m struggling with motivation and my muse lately, at least for Choices fics. So to meet this deadline and honor your request, I adapted an old wip that I hope will fit into the celebration prompt. I will write the bday fic in the future, if you wish: let me know!

Inspired by the song Driven By You (which is THE Ximena x MC song, paired with Uptown Girl), that’s how I imagine the prom night with Ximena we never got in the original book.

Prompt: Celebration

Word Count: 1952

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @bhavf @melodyofgraves @strangerofbraidwood @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @kamilahmykween @universallypizzataco @gayestchoices @embarrassingsmartphonegame

Ximena Tag: @bobasheebaby @boneandfur

__________________________

It all felt so unreal. Standing in the middle of a crowded room full of people having the time of their lives - or at least pretending to have the time of their lives- taking selfies with each other, cracking jokes and sharing gossips, dancing to the beat, whispering sweet nothing or naughty compliments into each other ears' at the side of the dance floor. Ordinary prom stuff, ordinary life stuff but lately Ellie's life had been nothing but ordinary. Crowded places gave her a bit of anxiety and she couldn't blend in. Somewhere in the crowd one of her father's agents, Erica, was following her, guarding over her. Typical prom stuff, right?

She sighed and gave an apologetic look to Reya: she hadn't listened to a word she said, but she didn't tell her, she didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was trying to help, somehow, even if it wasn't working. She excused herself telling she needed to go to the loo and refused her friend's offer to walk her there. "I'll be fine, worry not" she said, before making a beeline to agent Erica and asking her to let her head outside for a moment.

"Are you feeling okay, Ellie?" the agent asked, searching her eyes.

"Yeah I just some fresh air, this is all so...overwhelming" she winced.

"I get it, sweetheart" Erica grimaced sympathetically. "But your father explicitl-"

"Just five minutes, please"

Erica was visibly torn and surprised by the grim intensity of the plea. She agreed to let her go. "I'll go check on you in ten minutes, okay girl?"

She liked Erica, she was a very empathetic woman and a good agent. She thanked her and walked into the parking lot of her school. She didn't like the idea of being alone in that place but she needed a break from the party atmosphere. It was all too fast, too much. She didn't even want to go: what was the point? She didn't even a date and she wasn't in the mood for listening to Reya's love issues.

She hugged herself as the night breeze blew over her, playing with her curls. She sighed: well, if only a certain someone was here now, she could certainly use one of her bear hugs. A weak smile drew on her lips as she reminisced her first meeting with Ximena. Good-hearted, funny, gorgeous X.. God knows where she was now: Ellie could only hope she was somewhere safe, out of reach for those criminals. Yet she missed her terribly, tonight more than ever. She had fantasized about her favorite driver surprising her on the prom night, walking inside the room on her arms, dancing the night away with her.

She smiled sadly to herself. What a naive fool she was. What a silly teenage girl with impossible fantasies...

She inhaled deeply and stared into the distance. The night was quiet and the moon shone oh so brightly in the sky. The perfect setting for a romcom, she joked internally. The parking lot was packed just like the room she had just left. A black SUV gleaming in the moonlight caught her eye. It looked familiar but our minds might trick us easily. She checked twice, just in case.

And...Ximena was there. She stood leaning on her car, one foot rested on the side of her SUV, arms folded over her chest. It took a while to Ellie to recognize her but when she did, she gasped and blushed furiously, thankful that her crush couldn’t see her in the dark. X. was wearing a black and white male suit: black pants matching a pair of black suspenders and bow tie and a white shirt, sleeves rolled up past her elbow to reveal her tattoos. Her hair was up in a ponytail.

She was looking the other way when Ellie arrived but when she spotted the Alvarez girl a huge smile lightened up her face. Her uptown girl was safe!

“El…”

She took a step closer than stopped, as if suddenly shy or unsure of what to do.

“X.! Oh my God I’m so happy to see you, I was so worried but….what are you doing here?”

Ellie had to summon every ounce of self-restraint not to start stuttering or to jump into X.'s strong arms. She had been so worried and blue after her father told her what happened at the casino. She was relieved that she was still alive but the thought that she might have never seen Ximena, again, like ever again tore her teen heart apart. But now her sweet Amazon was standing right in front of her. And she was dashing and flashing her an irresistible smirk.

“A birdie told me that there’s a prom night going on tonight so” she explained gesturing at her outfit. “I thought to dress up and stop by”

“And you’re gorgeous, Ximena! I-I mean…” Ximena gave her an amused yet exquisitely soft smile in full response, probably noticing how pink her cheeks were now. “Thanks, princess. But I can’t stand a chance with you” X. noted, taking in the sight of Ellie in the gorgeous lacy dress. An awkward silence fell between them, as they both were overwhelmed by the joy to be together again after all the troubles…despite being so out of place. Proms were completely out of their comfort zones. And they knew it. X. folded her hands in her pockets and broke the silence. “So I’ve never been to one of these fancy proms but I’ve heard that they involve a lot of dancing, right?” “Yes, I guess it’s one way to put it” Ellie confirmed, giggling at the understatement. “Thought so! Then I know just the thing…” She winked and opened the door of her car in a swift move. She quickly moved inside but got out after a moment, gallantly offering the girl’s a hand.

“Shall we dance, Ellie?”

Ellie gaped, looking around in confusion.

“What…you mean here? But there’s no music?”

Ximena grinned as if she was expecting that objection. She flashed Ellie an affectionate smile and picked a small remote controller out of the pocket of her pants. As she hit the button, the stereo in her car started playing a Queen song, one of X.’s all-time favorite.

Ellie giggled at first before smiling brightly at her unexpected prom date.

“May I have this dance, princess?” Ximena asked in the softest tone.

Ellie nodded, head over hills with happiness, and placed her hand on top of hers. Ximena gently pulled her closer, tossing the controller inside the car to rest her free hand on her uptown girl’s hip.

We touch and you’re afraid of me And we burn and now I’m at your feet High speed, but you know you’re in safe hands

As if reacting to the lyrics, Ellie raised herself up on the tips of her toes to wrap her arms around X.'s neck and another ecstatic smile formed on her lips as the two of them started swaying. The rest of the world, the parking lot, the school prom inexorably faded away.

Ooh, in the dark we make a brighter light From one spark to the horizon wide We trust, and together we tame the land, yeah

Ximena’s hands moved to Ellie’s small back as the girl adjusted her head over the gentle Amazon’s collarbone, sighing contently. It’s something out of a movie, a romantic movie and it’s happening! If I'm dreaming please don't wake me, she squealed internally.

Oh you’d be forgiven if you think you’re dreaming But we’re working night and day to make a dream come true, yeah Everything I do is driven by you

Warmth spread all over Ximena as she rested her cheek on top of the Alvarez girl's head. She inhaled the familiar scent of her coconut conditioner and for once forgot about all the troubles with the Brotherhood. There was no room for them now as she lost herself in the music and the feeling of Ellie's body pressed against herself.

Hold on tight to the driving wheel This ride is really out of line Raw deal, but there’s no other that’s worth a dime

Ellie was the first to break the charmed silence between the. A happy sigh turned into a little confession as words slipped out of her mouth...but this time she didn't care.

"I’m…I’m so happy that you’re here, X.”

“Let me guess? Worried about this prom thing?” X. attempted a joke as a tender smile formed brightened her face.

“Maybe a little.”

They both giggled. Then Ellie took a deep breath and parted just enough to face the young woman. She raised her eyes to meet Ximena's and hoped they could convey all the feelings inside her: concern, affection...that scary "l" word. It's now or never, El, she repeated to herself.

“But mostly about you. I guess the truth is I like you, X. Really like you”

Ximena’s eyes widened and she gaped but quickly recovered and offered Ellie the softest smile.

You know I love you but you drive me crazy ‘Cause you’re saying all the things I want to say to you

“And to me there’s no other worth a dime” Ximena whispered, quoting the lyrics.

Ellie felt her cheeks and her heart set on fire. She opened her mouth to say something but her breath was caught short as she processed what X. just said. Before she could think of what to say next, Ximena hushed her.

“It's okay...Ellie, I- may I...” she said slowly leaning down.

As if drawn to a magnet, Ellie rose on tiptoe and met her halfway. X. claimed her lips in a tender kiss. Their mouths met once, twice as the buzz of the prom party inside grew distant. Caught in the bliss of that kiss, Ellie pressed herself against the gentle Amazon, taking her by surprise and sending the driver to backpedal against the car. When Ellie parted to mutter an apology Ximena just giggled and pulled her close, capturing her lips once more in a fierce kiss that took her breath away.

When eventually she pulled back, the first thing Ellie saw opening her eyes was Ximena checking on her.

"Is this okay, El?" she asked, her voice soft just as her smile.

It took a moment to Ellie to reply: she felt dizzy, ecstatic...the happiest she had ever been.

"Yeah, I mean of course...I- wow"

Ximena's lips curled into an amused smile still filled with tenderness. She stroke Ellie's cheek and wiped off some of her smeared chapstick with her thumb.

"Happy prom, princess"

"Best prom ever" Ellie sighed happily, leaning to the touch.

Then she tipped her lips, a little cute gestured that made Ximena fell a bit more for her "uptown girl". The kiss was slow and deep, intoxicating...but Ximena pulled away too soon, almost abruptly. Ellie felt a pang of rejection: was it all over already? When she looked up at Ximena she noticed that her jaw, that jaw she was craving so hard to kiss, was now clenched and her eyes wandered above her head. Then they stopped and the grip on her hip tightened.

"El, get in the car"

"What? Wher-" she asked, not understanding what just happened but feeling cold chills ran down her spine.

"I'll be damned if they lay a finger on you again" Ximena explained, her tone hardened as she threw daggers at someone in the distance.

"We gotta go, princess. And fast" her voice softened a little as she shielded her with her body and gently pushed her inside the car just in time before a gunshot rang into the distance.

#choices november challenge #choices rod #ximena rod #ximena x mc #playchoices

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josesmemes · 5 years ago

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Damn it was Jose’s bday yesterday and I didn’t get to post anything, I’ll post my birthday card note on here:

jose,

Happy birthday baby!!!!! Another year older, another year wiser hehe. Please be careful while opening your gift (I feel like you might already know what it is). Also I realized that this is the first birthday of yours that I get to celebrate with you! Woohoo!! Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this gift, i was a little anxious while picking out the stuff here.

Happy birthday again, I love you so much ❤️

erica

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tumortunes · 2 years ago

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best birthday ever :)

27 is great and i hope it gets even better.

yesterday nathan and i got AYCE sushi and stuffed ourselves with the good stuff! i also hit up a used book store down the street from the restaurant and picked up some new books to read!

then i made some tiktoks at home while nathan worked. i opened the presents that he got for me too! it was the absolute best. he got me an ICE MACHINE. I LOVE ICE. I LOVE THAT MY WATER WILL BE ICY COLD. YAY. i was seriously contemplating asking jenni for my trays back bc i loved those ice things since they had a lid and were easy to pop out of the container. but now i have an ICE MACHINE.

he also got me this super fancy matcha set! it's like doing an og tea ceremony from daurma when i make matcha now. there's a whisk and everything. i made some for us and now i know that i do not like matcha with oatly. it's kinda gross lol.

he ALSO got me a garlic chopper and a lemon squeezer. we opened those earlier tho bc they've been super useful when we cook dinner at home!

okay then i made plans to meet up with madi and aus last night! they were gonna drive all the way from east bay to my apartment in palo alto to celebrate my bday with me :) we made plans to meet at my apartment and then go downtown to the patio to drink.

nathan was in a work meeting for most of this and that's when chaos ensued.

he had told me the night before that i should stay free after his work meeting at 630 pm. and i was like, eh okay well i think madi and aus are coming. can they do the surprise too? and he was like no lol. but in my head i was like, yes lol.

so they come closer to 715 pm and i think at this point nathan is panicking but im having a great time catching up with them and i gave them belated bday gifts! boardgames :)

so then nathan tells me that i need to go downstairs to get something out of the car for him to give to his friend austin. and so we go down to the parking lot and then ALL MY PA FRIENDS WERE THERE. AND THEY SURPRISED ME. AND THEY HAD BALLOONS AND HATS AND A FULL ON CAKE! AND THEY SANG TO ME OUTSIDE IN THE PARKING LOT LOL.

so then i was like omg guess im not going to the patio anymore. so they all came up to the apartment and they met aus and madi. and of course everyone loved them. they are both so good at chatting and making friends in a big group setting like this. even tho they didnt know anyone, they were down to jump in and hang out. i love that about them. and my friends loved their energy too! everyone was super welcoming and friendly. i have the best friends.

so we drank, i popped some champagne that i've been saving, ate cake, and played 3 different types of code names! they loved the disney version. i didnt eat cake or drink but it was fun popping the champagne. it was my first time! it smells terrible. but nathan loved it! im glad he enjoyed it so much. he got really drunk last night and it was so cute! he was having a great time playing code names and laughing with my friends. and then he got suuuper drunk and we cuddled in bed. when nathan is drunk he gets a little needy and cuddly and i just wanna hug him. so cute! but he hates when i touch his tummy when hes drunk bc it's too full and he feels like he would need to barf.

i went to sleep feeling so incredibly loved. nathan . madi and aus. mai, linlin, liz, erica, christina sophia, iris, jenn, juna. it was so many people that i love! everyone put in so much effort to make sure i had a happy birthday.

some tea is that aus was like, i wanna go to prom with yall! and mai was like, okay i'll take you. and then erica was like, mai loves to twerk. it was a super random exchange. but maybe theres something there?? madi adn aus also have crushes on lin lin and liz. i guess we have the same type.

gotta go now! off to meet the bean!

xoxo gossip girl

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travellers-survivor-old-west · 5 years ago

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Episode 1 - “It's not my fault our team chose the same song as the other team” - Cas

Let the games begin..............................

we out here. i'm on the cute yellow tribe. the only person on my tribe rn is Nicole and I already like her. i hope there's an idol hidden under joe del campo's cowboy hat

* A couple seconds later*

FKDSAHKDJFS LMAOOOO MY GIRLFRIEND ASHLEY ON THE OTHER TRIBE AND SHE LOOKIN LIKE A KARDASHIAN IN HER VID

Very excited for this to start! Tribe seems nice so far get a good vibe from eve and Ashley for sure. Just gotta feel everyone out a lil more and see how this first challenge goes

OKAY sooo I'll keep this first one brief. My tribe is pretty cool. I love Jared, I'm a little bit worried though because 1) he knows I'm a snake and will be scared of me and 2) he'll prob be able to know I'm friends with Ashley, but otherwise, he's my number 1 on this tribe and my favorite person in the cast other than ash. Like I'm so blessed to be with him and I don't think he'd turn on me yet since we'll be loyal. This Nicole girl seeemd cool in her vid then never messaged me back. Dylan seems nice but I think he might have been in bermuda or somethin LOL i've def played with him before and have no clue from what.... Sammy is cool, know him from before. And then uhhh that weird kid who had a three second vid, I hope he's out first. Ashley is on the red tribe I think? I LOVE HER she's literally my best ORG friend and she hasn't played in forever. Hope we get to a swap or merge without her doing something dumb first akhfdj. Patrick seems familiar I know he's old school and won HOS so that's cool. Eve seems cool never played with her but is that the same eve that does the challenge minis bc if so she knows im gonna pop off. Keaton good. Isaac good lol although I'm scared he'll come after me bc one time in his confessionals for a game we were in (i think indonesia?) eh talked about how big of a threat I was oops. maybe ashley will get him out for me LOL. and that austin guy seems cute, second game only awww. Black tribe has chloe YAYAYAY love her and excited to play with her. I think I'm on okay terms with Nick again, at least I really hope so lol bc bbclue was a mess but we kind of made up in ihos.... Vi/Cas I don't rlly know. payton seems like rhone but with a little more hair and less elderly wisdom. aidan's vid was weird but glad he got to the point I'm looking forward to this :) but I hope my tribe gets more active soon.

Okay so- Howdy! This is your cowboy speaking. I am going to go over my general strategy for the game and what I have done so far. I want to play a very physically/socially-centered meathead kind of game- a James Clement if you will. I want to try and win every challenge that I participate in and if we lose, I want to have 1 alliance with the strongest players that I will be 100% unwaveringly loyal to. Pretty basic stuff. So my alliance is with Owen and Sammy, which oddly enough- the last 2 Big Brother games I played, they were the people who got me out, respectively. Owen/Dana/Quill in BOTS and Sammy in Legacy3. So it's a risky group but this is the strategy that I outlined for myself so I'm gonna stick to it. They will be my F3 and I will literally ride with them until the wheels fall off. Until the hooves fall off, in western speak. I have no clue if they will be loyal to the end or try to target me on some point, but I have to try to keep them from eating the apple, because I'm not going to flip as my one-dimensional gameplan will not allow that! I confirmed with both of them that this is a trio they are good with, and the Pika-Dudes were born. I think it would be pretty rewarding for me if I could actually get them to stick together and make it to the end. But they could have other alliances on this tribe and vote me out this round for all I know, but so far my perspective is that they seem loyal Lastly, I suggested that we do the song "Before He Cheats" for the challenge, and that's the first time a tribe has ever taken my suggestion for the song, so I'm happy with that. I'll check back in if we lose the comp :)

okay so first confessional...honestly I am super excited to play with some of the people in this game. But I am just gonna talk about the challenge right now, umm so it's a music video which means.....hosts hate me...because I am always the one having to edit:,( okay so everyone got their videos to me finally except Nicole sent one vertically after I clearly said "@all plz film horizontally" so I just said bippity boppity bye. She seems sweet though and I don't want her to go anywhere soon. Anyways, Jared approached me with the idea of an alliance with me, him, and Owen which I'm totally fine with but I don't think I want to work with Jared like long game because idk if I can trust him to be like loyal to me. He is one of my fav people I just know it's a game. However I think if we go to tribal I probably would vote either Nicole or Xander. Not much confess right now except I am on a tribe with casper and his friends bc everyone forgot how to talk. alright that's it for nowwww.

#FuckMichael

What the fuck is Terlingua on someone better pray for my dude Aidan

VL: Oops

Omg yay!!!! We are safe for first tribal which I love. I'm starting to form pretty good bonds with issac,eve,and ashley so hopefully I can get it to where we all link up together for some kind of alliance.

Well so far it seems that Aidan, Chloe, Nick and I are in same mind set of voting off Payton. We shall see if it actually goes through. It’s really sad Bc the judges are all biased so now we have to vote someone out. Editing isn’t easy at all DX. I’m so sorry Payton if you’re do get voted out. You should move to the us to survive a bit longer ;-;

So my back’s been killing me all day. I thought it was from sleeping funny but clearly its from carrying this damn tribe.

This weekend was so flipping busy. I'm trying to get caught up at work before vacation and Matthew is here. I don't feel like I've gotten to bond with my tribe much. I'm glad to see Dylan A. We've not really gotten to play together much because he always gets voted out early in games we play but I don't think he will come for me and he's a bigger target than I. I like my tribe a lot. Jared is really funny and Sammy kicked butt in the challenge. I've talked to Owen a tad. I'm glad we didn't lose because I deserved to go home. I didn't get back from Erica's bday thing until 4 and then it wouldn't let me use the song I bought some it is copyrighted so I only had 30 sec then I couldn't get it to film horizontal. I'm a big ol mess. Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaw! 😂

Whew okay so I don't know anyone on my tribe (kinda) which is good but also a bit scary since its just 6 of us. Overall, I feel like everyone's a bit quiet and not too talkative. That being said, they might be talking a bunch in PMs. Right now, I am trying to stay under the radar and just be friendly with everyone. I really like Austin, Eve and Patrick right now. Keaton and Isaac are nice too but I dont really talk to them as much. If we would have lost this first immunity challenge I would have definitely wanted to vote for one of them. No official alliances yet but its still early so I think its okay. THANK FUCKING GOD WE WON. Okay well, we got 2nd but thats a win in my eyes. I just really hope I make it to jury and I will be happy so not being first boot is GREAT. Im trying to get this damn idol but I cant catch a fucking break and my ass keeps getting zapped... I dont think anyone has gotten the idol yet so I hope i get lucky and somehow get to it first. Here is how I see everyone as of right now: Austin: Probably my fave right now and hoping I can get into a f2 with him. He's funny and sweet and I feel like we get along and its pretty easy to talk to him. Eve: Eve is iconic! Want to work with her but I feel like she is really social so she might be a threat later on. Pat: Same as Eve, even though I just met him, I actually have known about him before since he is friends with some of my friends. I know he does good in games so he is someone I would like to see leave a bit sooner since I think he will be hard to get rid of later. But hes amazing and his video for the music video was ICONIC. I can see him and I becoming friends for sure. Keaton: Not much to say, I do know keaton from playing a game with him in the past but he was voted out first I think and then I hosted him in HOS but i wasnt super active in that one :) Anyway, I feel like we dont have much to talk about so I need to make more of an effort with him. I really wouldnt care to see him go tbh but who knows, this can definitely change if we start talking more. Isaac: omg okay so night one I go into everyones PMs to say hi and i notice that I already had messages with him which I found super weird because I didnt know who he was but I guess we kind of got into it like 3 years ago??? I told him I didnt remember this but i do. He was basically an asshole to me for no fucking reason. But this was 3 years ago so i really dont care so I hope he doesnt try to target me over it. He seems nice I guess but I havnt really talked to him much. In his defense he has been sick apparently but if we would have gone into this first TC I would have wanted to see him voted out first for sure.

Confessional 1: So right off the bat I talk a lot to everyone but Payton but my main issue is he’s probably not going so I’m gonna need to vote out someone I genuinely like right away. I think I’m decently connected and unless these guys are pulling off the best blindside ever I think I might possibly be semi safe??? Who knows though there’s a lot left of game to play this round so let’s let’s see who the votes will land on. I’m kinda trying to indirectly get my way but it’s like just not working out lol.

Its been a fun couple of days, im talking to my tribe and just feeling them out. Im very happy I don't have a history with any of them so I can just relax and start a clean state. Im a big fan of Jared and Sammy, but honestly nicole can go. She annoys me more than Jess's love of alcohol. I'm hoping to just chill and slide my way to merge where from there actually make moves and make my way to final 5 where we all know im gonna be voted out.

Idk what the fuck is going on lmao. I think I’m getting voted out because I haven’t talked to anyone but I’m trying to push the vote in cas instead but it might be too late because I just started talking to everyone cause I’ve been working too much.

https://youtu.be/bMY6mumIAQ0

Am I disappointed with my tribe? No. Am I disappointed with the outcome? Yes. I'm not a fan of these subjective challenges because the criteria literally changes everytime and all the judges (who are usually unqualified, uneducated and underemployed) seem to like to harp in on the most random shit like- I can't. And the fact that I, someone who never edited a fucking video before, had to do that shit just shows how useless my tribe is overall. Either useless or lazy but either way... I'm predicting a Matsing performance from this tribe. Why the fuck did I get placed here? So far people are fine but I don't /love/ anyone. Maybe I could put in more effort but like Chloe/Nick/Vi all seem fine and fun but like nobody I'm too connected with yet. I'm sure it'll come. Chloe and I seem to have the most similar personality but something tells me she's like connected idk. I don't see her going far with me. I see Nick/Vi being loyal though. Payton and Cas are like fine I guess but afaik they're the ones on the chopping block because of minimal socialization. I will be voting for Cas but honestly I don't care who goes home as long as it isn't me. I just want a tribe that isn't awful.

I like my tribe ok I guess. They’re all a girl or a gay except Keaton so that’s a plus. Despite my lack of participation in the first challenge due to my meningitis I’ve been assured that I should be safe on this tribe and I’ve been offered an alliance so we’ll see where that goes. I’m looking forward to beat sent home by Jared’s homophobic ass though. It’ll be fun

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-confess-1/s-HFs1s https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-2/s-nVSd2 https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-3/s-65KCP https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-4/s-kLYio https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-6/s-r6uNi

So like, love my tribe so far, I think Issac, myself Ashley and Austin are going to become a possible / close alliance, I also LOVE LOVE LOVE pat! What a fucking legend. Rly wanna try to work w him!! Idk dont wanna lose bc that means someone has to go :(

youtube

#yeehaw

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