#happie hoffman
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rogozaurus · 28 days ago
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No thoughts, just hoffstrahm ⚰️⚰️⚰️
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rocknrollgradschool · 2 years ago
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Episode #97- HAPPIE Hoffman
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gh0st-4ss · 5 months ago
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red flags and long nights
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avocadoraisin · 6 months ago
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i dont actually know anything about westerns
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dixxiemaegraphics · 6 months ago
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Posting about the gay little apprentices again.
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4lphaless · 6 months ago
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the drummer
twitter post
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sammaxxing · 1 year ago
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we look like animals 7 days a week!!!
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bathroomtrapped · 1 month ago
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sculkshrieking · 7 months ago
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good job guys
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sidus-viat0r · 2 months ago
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uhhhhh sorry i haven’t posted in a hot second i’ve been. busy. with my education!!! anyways have these two freaks because they live in my brain rn (chibi vers cuz i’m lazy)
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pissfartboy · 11 months ago
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inspired by an Instagram request
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markhoffmansleftbazonga · 7 months ago
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Strahm trying to convince Hoffman to look at the eclipse without glasses because he hates him 🙏🏻❤️
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missmarreynolds · 28 days ago
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I hate it when I tell someone about my favourite Saw characters and theyre like “Those are murderers..” like no. Thats my happy little murder family. Pawpaw and his three kids and weird doll thats also there for some fucking reason.
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avocadoraisin · 8 months ago
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fuck it i redrew this one too
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chrrywvea · 1 month ago
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fun fact i absolutely love the saw franchise
so since it's october i can finally go back to questioning my mental sanity cause-
i am so wildly attracted to this mf it actually HURTS
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SO FCKING HOT DAMNIT-
[all pics found on pinterest]
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bisexual-horror-fan · 2 months ago
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"Rewarding Good Behaviour." Mark Hoffman X AFAB! Reader. NSFW.
SO! I don't got a boner for Hoffman, but I wrote this for @eggsandbeer's birthday! The things one does for love and to be a good gift giver, you know? Anyway, the birthday girl in question gave me the go ahead to post this. Don't be expecting any more of this, so enjoy this one bit, eh?
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Rating. Explicit. Length. 2K. Mark Hoffman X AFAB! Police Record Clerk Reader. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: Banter. Public Sex. So Much Cunnilingus. Vaginal Fingering. Hold The Moan. Mild Overstim.
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You’ve always taken a bit of extra time getting ready for work, you took pride in your appearance and liked to look good on the job. You felt like any job worth doing, was worth doing cute, there was no reason to not in your opinion. Lately, you have been putting in some extra effort, mostly because there was someone you were trying to impress, so you focused intently when you were putting on your eyeliner, you used a very cute tinted and flavoured lip product as opposed to plain old chapstick. Standing in front of the mirror, you did your best to keep your hair looking silky and touchable in that simple hope that maybe he would touch it. 
A small bounce in your step on your way out the door, swinging your keys on your pointer finger around and around, hopeful today you’d see him, it had been a while. 
Most of your late shift had flitted by without comment, some reorganization, pulling files when asked, casual conversation, reading over lunch and then, while working on a crossword in the paper that someone had left at your station, he arrives. 
For a man so large, with such a commanding presence, he sure can sneak up on you. It isn’t until he knocks on the desk you are leaning on that you realize he is right in front of you, staring down at you with those shockingly blue eyes. You straighten up, dropping your pencil with fumbling fingers as you greet him, “Hello, Detective Hoffman.”
You notice the twitch of his lips as he fights off a smile at how adorably flustered you are in front of him but doesn’t comment on it, instead just saying, “Hello.” 
He doesn’t waste time, but that is usual for him, seems he is always busy, he asks you, “Did you complete what I asked?”
Your hand was already on the cross-referenced file that you had tucked in one of the cubbies under the counter, you had gripped it and pulled it out in short order, placing it on the counter top, sliding it across to him. “I sure did.”
You caught how his eyebrows moved up very slightly, he reached out and picked up the file, opening it flipping through, lips pursing slightly as he looked over your work. You shifted the weight from one foot to the other, waiting for another shift in expression that might tell you non-verbally that he was happy with your work. He made you work for it.
He closed the file and his eyes were on you, a small smile as he tapped the spine of the file folder into his open leather glove clad palm, a beat before he finally says, “I’m impressed.” 
Yes! Those two words set your nerves alight, the grin that overtakes your face is automatic, your fingers drum on the lacquered wood as you ask, “Yeah?” 
He seems amused as he repeats what you said, confirming it as his own smile broadens, “Yeah.”
“So uh…How impressed are you?” You asked with a half shrug that you hoped came across as casual. 
He expresses just how impressed he is with you a few short minutes later when he is on the other side of the counter with you. He had your pants and underwear totally off and crumpled on the ground by your now sock clad feed, shoes having been hastily untied and discarded messily, you had one leg over a strong shoulder, his hands gripping your hips and his tongue running eagerly up through the soaked folds of your cunt.
So was it the smartest thing getting involved with what you suspected to be Hoffman’s less than legal activities? Probably not. But when you did well, the way he rewarded you made your worries melt faster than a creamsicle on hot pavement. Maybe it was stupid, but you would seriously do anything he asked to feel like this, the incredible spike of pleasure from his insanely broad and flat tongue running up from your hole and over your throbbing clit steals your breath and makes your back arch. The one leg you are standing on is trembling, you lean back harder on the counter, your fingers digging into the wood, head tipping back and spine arching. The fact he wanted to do this right here, so out in the open, sure the counter sits at waist height and covers what is going on, but it wouldn’t take much for someone to lean over and see Detective Hoffman on his knees and eating you out. He was always so messy with it, the slurping sounds, combined with your poor stifled moans, could so easily clue people into what was going on, not to mention your body language wasn’t exactly casual or relaxed. 
You need to try and stay quiet, keep it down, but fuck you wanted to look, maybe if you brace yourself than you can steal a glance. You steady yourself with a few deep breaths, biting your bottom lip you turn your head downwards to see the dark hair falling in his eyes, brow furrowed in concentration, plush and pretty pink lips locked on your straining clit, you can’t stop yourself, mouth falling open in a gasp as you move your hips, grinding yourself on his tongue. His glove clad hands are kneading your ass, drawing you closer, he hummed, and the vibration threatened to make your leg give out from underneath you, thankfully the counter will prevent such a fate. 
Getting lost in the sensation of what he was doing was as natural as breathing. One of his hands slides off of your ass and between your legs, one finger traces your drooling hole, teasing it before starting to slide in, your body tenses further as his efforts increase, pressing himself closer, sucking your swollen flesh into his mouth, enveloping it in the wet heat of his mouth before his tongue laves over it. You shiver and whine out on an exhalation, “Oh my Godddd-”
He gives you no chance to adjust, a second finger joins the first and begins to pump in and out, you groan from the slightly burning stretch, it is almost too much, a bit too painful, until he crooks his fingers and touches a spot that makes you yelp what starts to sound like his name until it breaks off. 
Your mind swims, soaked in a heady mix of blinding pleasure nearing overstimulation, hormones and Hoffman himself. If he keeps going, you are going to cum on his face at work, he is too strong, no way you can pry him off and even IF you could, why would you want to? It’s late anyway, not like anyone else is going to be coming by, you are fully giving into this, the one thing you attempt to do is keep your breathing even as he assaults your poor pussy. Lick, suck, thrust, and you are feeling your mind drift further and further away from you, until something or rather someone pulls you out of it. 
A hand on your shoulder and a voice asking, “Woah you alright there?” makes you jump nearly a foot, hips jerking so hard you grind on Hoffman’s mouth and the sound of surprise that leaves your mouth bleeds and merges into a nearly awkward sounding half moan. 
You look over your shoulder to see special agent Lindsey Perez standing there, her hand still on your shoulder. A thick swallow, you school another moan into a cough because Hoffman for sure can hear Perez, but he isn’t fucking stopping, his tongue still slipping over your clit and fingers working in and out of your clenching cunt. You force out a shaky, “H-hey! M’ so good!”
Her face creases in concern, “Yeah? Are you sure?” 
You feel the slow coil of pleasure starting to mount in your stomach, tightening, you curl your hands into fists, still awkwardly looking over your shoulder at her, “Oh yeah. Totally good-”
“Yeah? Because you look a little flush, like you have a fever or something-” Her hand moves off your shoulder and rests on your sweaty forehead, her sharp eyes peering into your half lidded hazy ones, your mind is whirring two thought on repeat, “Don’t moan. Breathe normally. Don’t moan. Breathe normally. Don’t moan. Breathe normally-”
The pleasure is building, Hoffman is in an incredible rhythm, getting you closer and closer still, you don’t respond, trying to put everything into hiding what was happening to you, Perez speaks up again, “Oh yeah you feel really warm.”
You need an out, somehow the idea hits through the haze of ecstasy, “You know I-I uhm, I don’t ac-actually ffffeel well, I feel a bit ahhn, faint, co-could you go get me some water?”
“Yeah of course.” Her hand pulls away, and she says, “Stay right here, don’t move.” 
“Tha-thaaankssss!” You call to her and your head drops forward, listening to the retreating click click click of her heels, heaving a sigh of minor relief, gaze falling to Hoffman’s smug fucking face still between your legs, he has an unmistakable mischievous glint in those hungry eyes staring up at you. He was challenging you, daring you to cum right here on his tongue. 
Jesus Christ, he is the worst, but you are so, so fucking close. If you cum before she comes back, he can stop and then you can cover up. You lean into it, move your hips, help him, work with him and the band grows ever tighter, the pleasure climbs higher and higher, you feel beads of sweat running down your back under your blouse and behind your knees, you are on the very razors edge, another few seconds and you’d be there. You bite your bottom lip, focusing, and all it takes is one more purposeful suck and a careful flick of his tongue, and you are cumming. Your hand flies up to your mouth, covering it so you could moan with abandon into it, feeling far too good to be able to be quiet. The orgasm threatens to rend the flesh from your bones, especially as he continues to suck and finger you through your high until you are a heaving wreck of painful overstimulation. Finally, you weakly push him away with a hand on his forehead, “Okay! Okay, fuck, I came, ease up!” 
Miraculously, you hear it over the ringing in your ears, the click click click of heels coming back towards you, eyes widening in horror, your legs comes down as your hand locks on Hoffman’s wrist, and you force him to take his fingers out of you, causing you to hiss as he does. Then you turn around, keeping your hips locked firmly to the edge of the counter so she can’t see the fact you still are pantless. You are resting on your crossed forearms and forcing a smile on your face. She sets the condensation covered water bottle next to your elbow on the table. 
“Here you go-” She says with a sympathetic smile, you pick it up and open it, with a breathless, “Thank you.” 
You chug about half the bottle in one go and then press the cold plastic to your forehead as she observes you. “There’s a reason I came by…” She starts, and you nod, encouraging her to continue, “What’s up?”
“Strahm was hoping to talk to you, asked me to come fetch you, he's in the interrogation room.” 
God, you were going to die tonight. You nodded, “Totally, I gotta hit the bathroom, and I’ll meet you there?”
“Sure.” She nodded, “You sure you’ll be able to get over there on your own?” She asked, and you laughed nervously before assuring her that you could, she headed off, and you finally turned and looked over your shoulder at Hoffman still on his knees, grinning as he looks up at you, holding out your pants and underwear. “You have fun?” You scoff and snatch the clothing from him, starting to put it back on with shaky legs, “You’re such an asshole.”
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