#happened to me multiple times. is this my due reward for curiosity and expanding my horizons?

[gmos]

a new phenomenon in the era of web-weaving is looking up a song whose lyrics written out you saw clipped interestingly and realizing that the song itself is not actually very good

[shinneth]

6, 1, 7, 5 and 10 for the fic writer meme!

OKAY. Finally got free from the distractions. Let’s see how well I can answer these. 

6. Share one of your weaknesses

Oh, I have a good amount of those. I would say my tl;dr curse (I don’t think I’ve EVER written a fic below four-figures, and very rarely does it end up 5k or lower), but I know there’s many out there who’d tell me that’s definitely a strength and that they’d love to be able to churn out six-figure epics in their sleep like I do. So let’s go with a more objective weakness.

I have the redundancy curse. I have this really, really really really really really really really bad habit of somehow reiterating a statement twice within the same sentence. Or at the very least, my verbiage will get repeated more times than it should within the same sentence (enough to the point where the sentence sounds very awkward when you read it out loud). This almost always happens because I’ll establish something at the beginning of my sentence, somehow forget about it midway through, and think I need to add it to the end.

I can’t tell you how many times I fall into that trap. Only through rereading my progress to get back into the groove to continue a chapter is when I’ll really have an opportunity to catch these slip-ups. Since I’ve never used betas and I’m pretty much fine finishing everything in one draft and all that. It’s astounding how many of these errors I’ll catch, really. And despite that, a few will always end up slipping through in the final product anyway! 

It’s a very annoying quirk that I’d love to fix, but again, it almost always happens right under my nose. No matter how conscious I try to be about this sort of thing, it’ll pop up when I least expect it. So really, all I can do is just try and catch as many as I can after I’ve written my stuff down, but before I finalize my piece.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

I think the name of the game here is Adaptation Expansion. I focus on a character (or a small group of characters) that I feel

A) Didn’t get as much canon development as they deserved

or

B) Might have gotten a decently good amount of focus, but I’m seeing many unsolved mysteries/curiosities around said character(s) and many possible routes to explore any headcanons that are raging inside of me.

Or the headcanon itself is just really nagging at me, so I make a whole story dedicated to it. 

In your typical Shin fic, the more Shin likes you, the more you should be afraid. Outside of having a wildly creative sadistic streak, my best ideas are usually best suited to my favorite characters, and I happen to be very big on the Earn Your Happy Ending trope. Certain series I feel kind of gave their characters a good conclusion a little too easily, and so I’ve made it my life’s mission to erase any doubt in my readers’ minds about whether or not the characters truly paid their dues to get their reward at the end. 

So of course, you add that with the sadism, and that means you’re very likely to get a fic that at least somewhat leans on the dramatic end. I think the vast majority of my Fanfiction.net stories are listed under “Drama”, now that I think about it. But really, drama’s what you go with when you wanna raise the stakes to crazy-high levels. It won’t be melodramatic 100% of the time, nor will it be grimdark or consummately edgy; I do make a point to add some witty humor and even fluff if it’s appropriate. But Shin fics are all about letting you see the kind of hell certain characters could be going through in canon and thankfully aren’t - yet you’re also seeing those same characters achieve a level of greatness canon would have never permitted because they put their all into reaching their goal. 

That’s about the gist of it: trying to outdo canon at its own game, giving justice I feel my favorites are due, but only after I put them through the seven circles of hell. 

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hm, okay. When it comes to pride, I’m typically very reserved in that regard. However, I was very proud of how This is Who I Am Chapter 5 turned out. I had an idea well before writing it about how I wanted to do a twist on the Mirror Match trope with Steven and Peridot - basically, forcing their light sides to fight off the dark sides of each other, rather than themselves. The more accurate terminology for what I actually pulled off was an inversion of Opponent Switch.

I was very happy how I managed to execute this plot, since so much of it was rigged in the dark sides’ favor and almost insured that only Steven or Peridot would come out of this alive; not both. When it came to Light Steven meeting Dark Peridot, I finally had the opportunity to properly write for Pre-Series Peridot, who I established earlier was a bit of an opportunistic sociopath. I was eager for the chance to make my version of Socio-Peri a legit unsettling psychopath and boy did I revel in it. So, without further ado:

Steven desperately tried to find any trace of hope remaining in this situation. "E-Even if you and him are just the worst things about us made into people, like you said, you are still part of Peridot, 5XG! You're linked, me and the other Steven are linked… and you two shouldn't want to shatter your loved ones, either!"

5XG found herself legitimately enjoying this; savoring Steven's agony and dwindling optimism. It had been far too long since she was able to relish in the pain of another; especially when it resulted in her getting rewarded for it.

"If you're attempting to argue that we don't have a single iota of contempt for one another, I suggest you spare us any more of your unacceptable stupidity by jumping off this platform and descend into the abyss where you belong," she said in a sharp tone. "You'll recall I absolutely despised you for quite some time before my weaker self got the better of me. Past-tense or not, it is a fact you cannot deny. Therefore, it is part of me. Consider it as valid as the fact that, regardless of tense and however I changed over time, I am and always will be a murderer."

"NO!"

Steven was completely shaken up, now driven to tears and cowering away from the Peridot who was his adversary long before becoming his soulmate.

"Please, don't!" he urged. "I've forgiven her already! I-I never hated her for–"

"You hate murderers," 5XG stated in a calm, neutral, but very firm tone that was sharp enough to cut Steven off. "Anyone who takes the life of another, you hate on principle. The cause or circumstance is of no concern to you and never has been."

Steven swore his blood ran freezing cold for a moment after taking in those words. He was stunned to the point of being unable to rebuke any of this.

"The Bismuth told me how events played out when you first met her," 5XG added, readily rubbing salt into the wound. "After knowing by this point how the Diamond Authority were responsible for committing multiple acts of global genocide, how this very planet was on that list, and were prone to shattering members of their own court on a misdemeanor or even on a whim. You were aware of all of this."

Steven squinted his eyes, trying his best to shut away any more tears. He tried to turn away from 5XG; his entire body was shivering while his hands balled up into fists. "P-Please, stop…"

"Yet you admonished the Bismuth for daring to create weapons made for wiping out an enemy with lethal force; legitimate ways to justifiably defend yourself against an enemy you know would not hesitate to take your life if they had an opening. You stood there, and you actually labeled her as one who is completely indistinguishable from White, Blue, or Yellow Diamond," 5XG continued; of course she wouldn't honor his request. "A loyal ally of your maternal unit whose focus was always on doing her best to defend her friends and loved ones, who only fought when forced to by the Homeworld gems… to her face, you belittled her convictions and you said there was no difference between her and the maniacal, genocidal dictators that you yourself were defending against along with your loved ones – just as the Bismuth herself. I honestly don't blame her for trying to kill you that day. You should have died."

5. Share one of your strengths.

Phew... this one’s a little awkward for me. I know one thing I’m objectively good at is writing insanely long shit that is at least good enough to compel people to lose sleep or pull all-nighters as they strive to finish it. I can at least safely say that because nearly every goddamn reviewer I’ve ever had has gone out of their way to mention this. Even if they don’t review, if I ever have a chance to talk to them personally, they’re normally gonna let me know they sacrificed many hours of sleep because of me :P 

But really, I’m consistently praised for expanding on characters or concepts that canon either could have touched on more or barely touched at all. Some people have gained newfound appreciation for characters they didn’t care about or even hated because of my portrayals, and that’s pretty damn empowering to hear. I’ll often get remarks along the lines of me taking a character and “really making them my own” - in a positive way. Sometimes I have plot twists that are complete and utter batshit on paper, but then I’ll get commended for making it completely believable to the point where readers tell me they wish it was actually canon. 

So, that’s enough of a strength, I would say. I can reach really far and still make an AU story sound like it could have easily fit in canon even if my ideas are ones the staff won’t touch with a 10-mile pole.

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

rsilgjdgkljdgsjgahhahhhh, that’s not as easy a question as you might think! Every story has given me a hurdle or two. 

I think by default, I’m gonna say it’s Peri-dise: The Capitalist Anarchy. Because while I put my own spin on it and added a lot of things to make a proper story out of it, Peridot’s little Citystate session was almost exactly to the letter like a certain one by GrayStillPlays. So a lot of the heavy lifting was already done for me in that regard. Still made sure to add plenty to it just to ensure it wasn’t SOLELY just a retelling of that video with some name changes.

And that takes care of my first big ask! Hopefully those were satisfactory answers. I’ll... TRY and get to another before I pass out. Really wasn’t fair of CN to drop this leak on the same day I’d have to contend with 3 hours of Monday Night RAW...

[jmsebastian]

The Mundane Fantasy: Persona 5's Appeal To Adults

I have a hard time figuring out who Persona 5 was made for exactly. The game, like all Persona games, is focused around misfit high school students who uncover dark secrets about the world and people (especially adults) around them. In this particular case, you are tasked with changing the hearts of adults who would do harm to others by invading their subconscious and kicking the crap out of their evil selves. You manage to put a stop to a teacher who subjects students to abuse and sexual harassment, reform a gangster, among others. The outright criminal nature of the game’s biggest problems are interestingly folded in with the smaller associated problems that go along with them. Teammates on the track team turn on each other, for instance, in order to spare themselves the wrath of their coach. Gossip is spread about some of the female characters out of jealousy and insecurity. At twice the age of an average high school student, it feels quite wrong that I can get sucked into the drama of youths the way I do. It isn’t even the overarching sinister plot points that have me so enthralled. The more power fantasy elements, such as donning a mask, having superb fighting skills and superpowers at the behest of supernatural beings, and being among a chosen few who can put a stop to evil doers isn’t exactly compelling to me the way it was when I was actually in high school. Those elements are fun, but the more I’ve played of the game, the more I’ve come to realize that it’s the more mundane activities that have captured my imagination.

Much of the game is comprised of doing everyday activities: going to school, answering questions in class, going to a part time job. You can wander around the streets of town and stop into a batting cage or arcade. You can chow down on a monster hamburger or go shopping for plant food. Sounds sort of amusing, but ultimately unfulfilling for a game, one might think. Of course, the game knows that having complete freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want would get pretty old after a while. To make everyday life more interesting, they brilliantly put limits on how long you have before each major event. Every story arc in the game has an end date. You know about it, everybody involved in the plot reminds you that it’s looming, a calendar appears each day and a dagger is stabbed into the current day. It’s a considerable threat. Suddenly, making some coffee or going down to the book shop feels much more important because it takes up what precious time you have left. Each action has weight and significance, no matter how small, because you choose to do it with the understanding that it all might end in the near future.

I love the way this manifests itself in the relationships you have with the other characters. Over the course of play, you meet and befriend various people in the community, mostly fellow classmates. Several of them join your cause to turn people from evil to good, either becoming playable characters in your party, or aiding you in other capacities, such as boosting your group’s public perception. To strengthen yourself and those who fight with you, you have to spend time with these people and grow your relationships. This has always been the most interesting part of Persona games to me, and 5 feels like a real pinnacle of this idea.

The types of relationships you have vary quite a bit when compared to previous entries in the series. There are your close knit group of friends, of course, but there are also numerous adult figures who play prominent roles. There is Sojiro Sakura, or Boss, a grumpy coffee shop owner who takes you in when no one else would. There is also Sadayo Kawakami, your home room teacher whom you accidentally discover moonlighting as a “maid” for a service of uncertain intentions. These “adult” relationships, for lack of a better term, come about due to unusual circumstances, and aren’t intended to be portrayed as typical for someone of high school age, nor for a high school aged player or even young adult. Their circumstances feel specifically targeted to garner sympathy from the player, rather than empathy.

Your relationship to Sojiro is particularly interesting, to the point where I saw myself more in him than in the main character.

So why, then, are the playable characters all high school students? Despite horrible things that happen and the overall bleak underpinning of the game, Persona 5 is a portrayal of an idealized high school world. When you start the game, you’re an outcast. No one wants you around, they spread rumors about your criminal record, they treat you like a burden and source of shame. The good news is that things only get better for you. Armed with quiet confidence, you have the agency to change people's’ minds by getting to know them, spending time with them, learning about them. Engagement helps everyone get beyond stereotypes and see each other for who they are. This is, unfortunately, not the way high school works for many.

The social pressures that we face as teens and young adults are difficult to solve over conversations and bowls of ramen. We hold fears about what others will think and we don’t yet have the maturity and self-awareness to deal with those fears appropriately. The power trip for Persona 5 isn’t that you can wield a cool sword and gun and fight a bunch of Shadows, it’s that you can talk to people, form bonds with them, understand them. You have the superpower of level-headedness and retrospect. Mechanically, the game rewards these behaviors by leveling up your relationships with the people you spend time with. Leveling up relationships gives you new abilities that make the dungeon exploration and combat easier. This is important, of course, because games have rules and a game’s mechanics should work together. The mechanics in Persona 5 are well balanced, but thanks to the strength of the writing, the convincing performances by the actors, and the social constructs built up within the game, the rewards for strengthening character relationships start to feel less and less vital. You eventually want to spend time with your friends not so much because you’ll get a power up or new ability, but because you have compassion for the characters and want to help them however you can.

The relationships you have with female characters can extend beyond friendship. The positive implications of this are a lot less clear than they are for your friendships in general. How this plays out largely depends on who the player is. It’s very easy to spin the friendships you have with the women in the game as extremely positive. You spend time with them as you would every character. Your bonds grow as you learn about them and help them navigate through complicated emotional situations. The fact that you can also attempt to date them can also be seen as very positive. A solid friendship is a wonderful base from which a romantic relationship can be built, but a few key aspects undermine this a bit.

You can date multiple women in the game. That, alone, is not so much the problem. The issue arises in that there is no way to gain the consent of said partners for the multiplicity of your coupling. It’s essentially all done on the down low, and it can become a bit tricky if you’re out on a date with one partner and happen to run into another. On the one hand, it’s nice that there are repercussions for behaving in this way, limited though they may be. Choosing to cheat means you’ll eventually be caught and your romances will be terminated. For the sake of the game’s story, this is fine, though it would have also been really interesting to be able to explore the interconnectedness of your relationships more fully. Each relationship is treated individually, which works from a mechanical perspective, but feels a bit disingenuous when human relationships are a lot more nuanced and complex than simple one on one interactions. There are implied trade-offs in the game, such as choosing to hang out with one person over another, but there are no real punishments for this other than losing time. Getting caught by one of your girlfriends is about as far as this is explored, and that’s a real shame. With how much the game emphasizes relationship growth, the series seems to be begging for expanded views on what kind of relationships are possible between and among the various characters. And this is completely ignoring the fact that women are the only possible romantic partners to begin with.

While the depth of the relationships can be a bit unfulfilling in some respects, it is important to remember that the player has choices. You can choose which friendships you want to strengthen, and more importantly, when. You can choose to pursue a romance with someone or not. Dating is not a requirement at all. That choice is what ultimately feeds into the power fantasy. High school students often don’t have the luxury of choice, or at least feel as if they do not have choices they can make. You, as the player, have choices all the time. You get to decide where to go, what to do, when to explore the distorted palaces of the game’s antagonists, and when to kick back with a friend and watch a movie. That is significant. It also helps when you get to voice your opinion with a little bit of sarcastic wit or humor. The ability to be comfortable in your own skin is all over this game, and that’s a really great thing.

You are always asked beforehand if you are sure you want to spend time with your friends, just in case you would like to spend time elsewhere.

Persona 5 is definitely a game made for adults, or at least, for certain types of adults: adults who might still struggle with navigating our social world with curiosity and confidence. It’s also for adults who did not feel they had much control over their lives at a younger time and are in search of a way to come to terms with that. It’s important to note that the characters around you are often in crisis. They get to act the way teenagers would act. They feel pride, insecurity, afraid, helpless. You are there to back them up, help them realize confidence within themselves, be a non-judgmental figure so they can have positive mental health. You get to be largely immune from all the chaos because this isn’t your life and and in your life you have probably already faced the emotional turmoil that goes along with teen age, even if you didn’t have to suffer problems as serious as an abusive coach or being framed for assaulting a woman on the street. Getting to play as the mediator of these terrible fictionalized problems can help put perspective on the real problems that we do face where we feel like the characters in crisis instead. I’m not sure younger players would necessarily be able to understand that. I hope they could, but as a 30 year old, it’s kind of incredible that a video game can remind me that there are ways to navigate our difficulties and they don’t require becoming a superhero so much as they require being emotionally available to ourselves and others.