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ibetonlosinghuskies · 5 months ago

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patience and pleasure pt 4

summary: after the end of their final game together, paige and azzi attend a party. as the night unfolds, their unspoken feelings surface, leading to a pivotal moment that could change things forever.

warnings: fluff, angst, sexual content (not smut), suggestive language.

disclaimer: everything i write is fictional, any and all similarities to real life is not intensional.

word count: 4.4k +

author's note: this is probably my favorite chapter so far.

~flashback to present day~

paige’s pov:

the final buzzer echoed through the stadium, a somber sigh.

the end of our last game.

waves of cheers erupt from the crowd, a tidal wave of blue and white. confetti rained down, scattering across the court.

i should be estatic, this is all we have worked towards for months. but as i stood there, my eyes searched for her.

i know it wasn't like i wouldn't see azzi anymore but it felt like something changed. i was still worried about what she was thinking about earlier. i didn't want things to be awkward between us, not when everything else was already changing.

it comforted me to know that at least things hadn't changed between us on the court. despite being surrounded by people, it felt like it was just the two of us. getting her looks came naturally to me like she was an extension of myself. in these moments, i felt like i had her, our connection evident to the crowd.

however, the game was close. after being down eight points at halftime, azzi stepped up, dropping fifteen points effortlessly. as for me, though, i was a bit distracted. my gameplay was consistent, but my mind was elsewhere.

usually, i can zone in once i step on the court but my god. the hold this girl has on me.

the pounding of the basketball mimicking her heartbeat. the silk of my jersey, the softness of her hands. the heat of exertion, the warmth of her hand on mine.

the more i look, she's all i see. the trophy, the cheers, the victory—all insignificant in comparision to her smile.

i can take off this jersey, and wash away months of practice, but her touch will always linger on my skin.

that probably explains why she was the first one i ran to after we won. finally spotting her across the court, blue and white confetti decorating her hair. she beamed, glowing like an angel.

azzi was the real prize.

pulling her in by the waist, my head resting on her shoulder. her arms wrap around my neck. i wish we could stay like this forever.

"we did it," she whispers into my shoulder, causing a chill to run through me.

i want to tell her that she did it. that she played amazing, brilliant, unstoppable. but i can't find the words.

instead, i just pull her closer.

i hold her for a beat too long, savoring the feeling of her closeness. i can feel her heartbeat against my chest, a familiar rhythm, my favorite song.

i don't want to let her go, to share her with anyone.

i feel her pull back and i surrender.

getting a good look at her, my hands linger on her hips. her sweat giving her a radiant halo, she looks beautiful.

i should say something to her, but before i can speak my teammates pull me into a group hug.

the next couple of hours are a blur, filled with media interviews and photoshoots. after what feels like an eternity, we eventually get a moment alone, azzi and i change silently in the locker room.

"you're going to the after-party, right?" i ask, sounding much too hopeful. i probably won't even go if she's not there.

"why? you looking for a dd, party p?" she questions, flashing me a look.

"if you're offering, i'll take you up on that," i smile, i'm just happy she's going.

"alright, but only if you promise to save me a dance," she shoots back.

my heart flutters at the thought of dancing with her. slow or fast, getting to be close to her again would make my night.

i'd save every dance for her.

"anything for the princess," i quip, wishing i could add my in front of the nickname.

we finish changing and walk to the parking lot, chatting with ease. the air is cool, a stark contrast to the warmth of the locker room. azzi unlocks her car with a click and i jog to the driver's side.

"there is no way i'm letting you drive my car," she cocks her head to the side.

"chill chill, control freak. i'm just getting your door," i pull at the handle, motioning for her to get in.

"what a gentleman," she rolls her eyes before entering.

"i'm getting aux though," i yell as i run to my side of her car.

i connect my phone to her speaker as she reverses out of the parking lot. scrolling through my apple music for a moment before finally deciding on a song: muse by partynextdoor.

i watch her drive, one hand gripping the wheel, the other in her lap. azzi was the better driver out of the two of us, her focused gaze on the road. her expression turns when she finally registers the lyrics of the song, shooting me a suggestive glance.

"jesus bueckers, am i driving you to a party or are we fucking in my car," she laughs.

i wish it was the latter.

"maybe both, if you're lucky baby girl," i tease, giving her my best fuckboy laugh.

"oh, in your dreams," she banters.

that was a truer statement than she knew.

the rest of the drive is a comfortable quiet, city lights flickering through her windows as she drives. a warm breeze carries through her sunroof.

azzi's pov:

she makes it so hard not to overthink her every move. i didn't realize how much of a claim i felt to her until tonight. i can't say i'm not glad we get to share a moment alone before this party.

i sneak a glance at her while i drive, her long blonde hair flowing with the breeze. the night lights from outside softening her features. her slender fingers tapping against my dashboard to the beat of her music.

god, she looked too good to be going to this party alone.

if i couldn't be her date, i should at least look good too. cars flood the street in front of the house so i find a spot a few houses down to park. as soon as i shut the car off, paige reached for the door handle.

"hold up, i need to fix my makeup," i say, reaching for my bag in the backseat.

"here," she says, pulling something out of her bag. her fingers fumble slightly, betraying her usual confidence.

it's my favorite lipgloss. did she buy one for herself?

"forgot your makeup bag, huh?" i mock her, glad i can finally call her out.

a warm blush spread across her face, and she looks away sheepishly.

"shut up," she says so softly i can barely hear her.

"mhm," i hum, uncapping the gloss. i apply it slowly, hyper-aware of her eyes following the movement of my lips.

"maybe i just wanted you to do my makeup," she admits, still not making eye contact.

if she wants my lipgloss so bad, she should just kiss me.

"classic, always finding excuses for me to do things for you," i tease. examining the tube. "this isn't even your shade, weirdo."

"don't think too much about it, fudd," she rolls her eyes, stepping out of the car.

i wanted to pry some more but i didn't want to seem desperate. she stood aside the car waiting for me, before matching my pace.

as soon as we step through the door, the party swallows us whole. an immense mass of bodies, smoke clouding the air, music thumping.

an anxious knot builds in my chest, overwhelmed by the sea of people. i start to pick at my fingers nervously, trying to ground myself.

this has to be some kind of fire hazard right? there are way too many people, i can't even move without bumping into somebody. i feel like i can't even breathe. maybe we should leave. maybe—

my spiraling thoughts come to a screeching halt when i feel her fingers meet mine. paige interlaces our hands boldly, staring at me with those big blue eyes, soft with concern. something in her gaze, tells me i'll be okay. my heart rate slows, matching the steady shift of her thumb stroking my hand.

"stay close, alright," her voice cutting through the noise. she weaves us through the crowd, still holding my hand. i exhale, trying to calm my nerves, focusing on the warmth of her touch.

she walks with such an assertive confidence, i'd follow her anywhere. i hate to admit i'm disappointed when she drops my hand.

she manages to get us to a table, covered by an array of alcohol. i scan the room and finally catch sight of a group of my teammates gathered to the side.

"paige," i point to our teammates. "let's go say hi."

"i'm gonna pour myself a drink, i'll be right there," she responds, grabbing a cup.

i pause for a moment, feeling like a lost puppy. i almost want to wait for her, to cling to her. it isn't until i turn to walk away that i notice how close we were standing together.

"finally, we get a moment with you without paige attached at your hip," ice says, pulling me in for a hug. i just laugh in response.

as i chat with my teammates, i can't help keep my eyes off paige. my mind wanders from our conversation, my gaze tracking her movements.

who was that talking to her?

a tall man leans up against the counter, chatting with her. as she raises the cup to take a drink, he takes a moment to check her out. his eyes lingering in spots that make my blood boil. she takes a sip, lipgloss lining the cup.

my lipgloss. on her lips. for him to stare at.

he says something that makes her laugh, a strand of her blonde hair falling into her face. i feel my body tense watching their interaction. he leans down to meet her eyes, a hand reaching up to brush her hair out of her face.

oh he's not gonna—

"excuse me for a second, guys," i say to the group, without waiting for a response, i walk towards them, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

the guy's expression turns sour, clearly unhappy with my interruption. paige turns, her face lighting up when she sees me.

"oh hey azzi, this is—, " she starts innocently, but before she can finish i cut her off.

"i think ice was looking for you, we should go over there," my voice coming out much colder than i intended.

paige glances back at the group, who aren't even looking in our direction. i feel the confusion on her face, but i don't meet her eyes.

"nice to meet you, let's go," i speak quickly, my words jumbled nervously. i fight the urge to grab her hand as we walk away.

she's not mine, but she's not his either.

i have no right to my jealousy, i knew it wasn't my place. my heartbeat slows from the rush, i avoid her eyes shamefully.

i pray she doesn't read the envy on my face.

how could i explain myself to her? tell her that i don't want anyone else touching her? that i want it to be my hands in her hair? my words making her laugh?

i feel her eyes wander my face, questioning. when i finally look up at her, she just stares, looking more concerned than mad.

"you good, az?" she questions, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

before i can respond kk is pulling us back to the group, "okay lovebirds, you can stare at each other later. truth or dare time."

paige rolls her eyes at the comment, shoving her playfully and greeting the rest of the group. taking a seat around the table, the group banters.

"oh good somebody found y'all. i swear i turn my back and you disappear," ice laughs, taking a sip from her drink.

"okay y'all, i'll start, " kk interrupts, a bit too excited.

they go a few rounds, exposing secrets and taking enough shots to make me feel sick just looking at them.

paige's pov:

i laugh at the group's ridiculous dares, finally loosening up a bit. i'd taken a few shots, a sweet hum running through my veins, calming my nerves.

that is, until it's my turn again.

"paige," ice says dramatically, "truth or dare?"

"truth," i respond, not wanting to get caught up in a stupid dare.

"who was your first love?" she asks innocently, unaware of the implications of her question.

my eyes instinctually flicker to azzi, my breath becoming shallow. my mind races at the thought of her. the answer was obvious.

"i...uh—" i struggle to find the words, "just give me the damn shot," i surrender.

"coward," ice mutters under her breath, passing over the bottle.

"i got it," azzi nods at ice, taking the bottle from her hands. she's been so quiet all night, her voice startles me. i'm grateful for the excuse to look at her.

she stands confidently, walking over the my seat. my attention fixed on her movements. she towers over me, i tilt my head back slightly to meet her eyes.

my heartbeat pounds so loudly, i'm almost surprised she can't hear it. her long careful fingers unscrew the lid of the bottle. the subtle flex of her forearms, sending chills through my body.

god, the things i'd let her do to me from this angle.

seeing her like this, outside of my daydreams, felt unreal. azzi had always looked like an angel to me but tonight her beauty surpassed anything i've ever seen before.

"open," she demands. her voice still sweet but this time also low and smokey.

does she know what she's doing to me?

she presses the cold bottle to my lips, a shocking contrast to the blood-rushed heat of my admiration. she looks down at me, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. her voice echoes through my head.

i part my lips, hungry for her. instinctually, i lick my lips, watching her eyes follow my tongue.

her cold gaze pierces through me. i feel vulnerable under her stare, knowing she sees the desperation in my eyes.

my mind races. a million thoughts of her flooding my mind. her fingers, her lips, her voice. i imagine myself parting her legs the same way she parted my lips. the chill of the bottle against my lips, imagining her fingers down my throat.

azzi tilts the bottle carefully, her eyes flashing to my lips. i wish we were alone, that i could pull her down to me, taste her instead of this cheap vodka.

i'm sure she's sweeter.

"swallow," she instructs, her free hand coming up to hold my chin.

i melt into her touch, my eyes flutter closed for a moment, overwhelmed by her contact.

i just want to be good for her.

all of this feels so surreal. i force my eyes open, meeting her gaze as i swallow quickly and hard, desperate to please her. the alcohol burns down my throat, but i barely notice. all i can focus on is azzi—the warmth of her hand, the chill of her stare, the sharp breath she takes as she watches.

i stare, vodka spilling down the side of my chin, smiling like an idiot, intoxicated from her touch.

her brown eyes soften, clearly satisfied by my obedience. she reaches a thumb to wipe the alcohol.

she's still so sweet, even in moments like this.

azzi steps back, her hand falling from my face. the loss of her touch stings and i want to beg her for more.

the moment ends, interrupted by a chorus of teasing laughter and shouts from the group.

"she just made you her bitch dude," kk laughs, poking my side.

"shut up," i stumble over my words, failing to regain my composure.

the game starts to wind down after that, the energy shifting to the makeshift dance floor.

"alright, i think that's enough secrets for one night," ice stands from the table, reaching for her phone. "time to dance this alcohol off."

i remain seated for a moment, still dazed from azzi's touch. i can't take my eyes off her as she moves, her body swaying in a way that renders me breathless.

i feel paralyzed by the motion of her body, consumed by my thoughts of her. i lean against the table, sipping my drink slowly, trying to build the confidence to dance with her.

even in the dim lights of the party, she looks captivating.

i watch her dance for a few songs, my fingers swirling the rim of my cup. she's magnetic, with just a simple dance. i take another sip, the taste doing little to soothe the ache of my desire for her. her eyes meet mine for a moment, and i choke on my drink.

kk comes over and nudges my shoulder. "come on, p. please tell me you plan on dancing with her eventually, right?"

"i...um, yes. eventually...yeah," i stammer out a response.

"whatever you say, p boogers," kk shakes her head. "better late than never."

i hate to admit it but she's right. i take a deep breath before finishing my drink. already too intoxicated to taste it, i pour another. swallowing it whole, my eyes never leaving her.

her movements pull me in and i take my first unsteady step, almost tripping over myself. my thoughts grow sluggish, realizing that i've had one too many.

she notices me approaching, her face brightening. she scans me briefly, clocking my drunken sway.

azzi laughs, warmth softening her expression. "took you long enough," she blinks slowly.

her voice is like in lullaby to my nerves, coating my thoughts in a fuzzy haze. "you said—," i stammer, "you owe me a dance," my words coming out much more jumbled and slurred than i expected.

without waiting for her response, i impatiently take her hand and pull her towards me. our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces, electricity coursing through my veins under her touch.

we start to move, finding a slow rhythm. my drunken confidence causing me to rest my hands on her hips, a bit lower than usual. azzi's arms drape my neck, her fingers coursing through my hair gently.

how am i supposed to survive this?

as the beat picks up, so does the tension between us. azzi turns suddenly, pressing her back against my front. my breath hitches at the contact, my hands instinctually gripping her waist tighter.

her movements are fluid, and sensual, drawing me in with every sway. it takes every ounce of self-control i have not slap her ass. instead, i lean in, gripping her hips tighter, trying to stifle my lust.

"you're killing me, fudd," i whisper, my lips brushing against her ear.

i feel her laugh, the vibration traveling through her body to mine. she turns her head, her lips dangerously close to mine.

just a little closer...

"what's running through that mind of yours, bueckers?" she flirts, biting her lip, leaning in even closer.

how could i even begin?

the softness of her lips, the scent of her hair, the friction of her hips. i wanted her closeness, her smile, her laugh. i take a long blink, imagining the taste of her skin, the sounds she might make if i touched her just right. i say all of this with my eyes, blowing shaky breath onto her cheek.

i wanted her.

but then, as we lock eyes, my thoughts shift. i imagine waking up next to her, sunlight peaking through her curls. i picture holding her during scary movies, her hand gripping my bicep. kissing her in the rain, taking her out to dinner, bringing her flowers. i see myself reading her favorite book, doing anything to make her smile.

i wanted her, not just as something to have, but something to keep.

"trust me, you don't wanna know," i say back, trying to hide my affection.

"maybe i do," she tilts her head to the side, batting her eyelashes.

suddenly, someone bumps into us, halting my thoughts. azzi takes a step back, her eyes wide and filled with emotion i can't quite place.

"i...i need some air," she says, her voice uneasy.

before i can stop her, she's weaving through the crowd to the door. i'm left alone in a sea of people, drowning under the weight of our almost-kiss.

what just happened?

azzi's pov:

what was i thinking?

the cool night air hits me sharply, my eyes glued to the floor. i lean against my car, my heart still racing from what almost happened.

so much for "keeping it casual."

i've spent years building walls, guarding my heart from getting too attached. it wasn't like i didn't trust paige, i was just paralyzed by the fear of losing her forever. i can't risk our friendship, everything we've built together.

what if it doesn't work out? what if it all falls apart?

my throat tightens with emotion, overwhelmed by the thought of not having her in my life.

the sound of the door opening jolts me back to reality. without looking up, i know it's her.

she staggers toward me drunkenly, her voice uncertain and sympathetic. "azzi," she calls out to me.

i turn to face her, fidgeting with my fingers anxiously.

once she sees the tears in my eyes, she takes a step closer. "are you okay? i'm sorry if i... if that was too much in there."

i shake my head, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, "no, it's not your fault...i'm just—”

scared, terrified, of how much i want this. of how easily i could fall for you.

but i don't say that. instead, i blink away the tears. "i just get overwhelmed in crowds, you know?"

paige stares at me, examining my expression. she knows there's something more there but she doesn't pry.

"we never finished our dance," she says, looking genuinely disappointed.

"oh there's always next time—" i start but before i finish paige taps her phone and turns up the volume.

she was playing our song. the same song she played dancing in my kitchen many autumns ago.

the recognizable melody fills the air, and my heart aches. memories of that night flood my mind- paige's laughter, her soft hands holding my face, the way she'd do anything to make me smile.

i guess some things never change. she's still that same girl, trying to make everything better with a dance and a smile.

"paige, you don't have to—" i start, but i quiet when she grabs my hand.

"one dance," she pleads, looking just as sweet and vulnerable as she did that night. "please azzi."

i know i shouldn't, this will only make things more complicated. but i can't resist her—i never could.

there was something special every time we touched. something beautiful, something terrifying.

i step into her arms, and we start to sway. the parking lot becoming a dance floor, the streetlight our spotlight. paige pulls me even closer, her breath tickling my neck.

"i've missed this," she mumbles, "missed you." i can smell the alcohol on her breath, but the sincerity in her voice makes my heart flutter.

i close my eyes, overcome with emotion. "i've always been here, you know that."

paige pulls back, her expression growing serious. "no, you don't understand. i miss you. even when you're right next to me." her eyes scan my face, gauging my reaction.

"paige i—" i start but she cuts me off.

"no, i need to say this. i want everything with you. i don't know who i am without you." her words blend like the lyrics of a song.

i try to stop her again but she continues. "i see you in every beautiful thing. you're so damn pretty azzi." her movements reflect her drunken state, but her eyes convey a deep clarity. she means it.

"you make me feel human," she pulls me in closer, her voice shaky in my ear.

i should say something to her. tell her she's the best part of me. the only part that matters.

"paige, you're drunk," i say reluctantly. the hurt on her face is evident. she shakes her head, her blue eyes welling up in tears.

she grabs my face, insistent on locking our eyes. "please," she pleads, tears rolling softly down her cheeks.

"you're everything to me, azzi," paige stammers, her voice breaking mid-sentence.

god, why does she have to do this now? when she's like this?

"i can smell the vodka on your breath," i say, closing my eyes, her breathe tickling my face.

"i love the way your dimples show when you laugh. the face you make when you're deep in thought," her voice sounds desperate, needy. she's begging for me to hear her, and part of me wants nothing more but to listen.

i love your laugh too. the way i always catch you staring.

"you can barely stand straight," i point out, trying to ignore the way my heart melts at her words.

please paige, don't make me hope. don't make me believe in something that might disappear in the morning.

her tears stream freely now, she closes her eyes. "i love how passionate you are in everything you do." she sniffles, her voice uneven. "i love how much you care for everyone," she continues.

i learned that from you. my sweet girl.

"you won't even remember this tomorrow," i say weakly, fighting back my tears. my restraint weakening with every word she says.

please remember, please tell me you want this too. when you're sober. when i know it's real.

"i'll remember everything. the way you looked at me, holding your face, the scent of your perfume," her words slurred but urgent.

i'll remember too paige, it'll haunt me.

"i think i'm in—"

don't say it. if you say it i won't be able to pretend anymore.

"don't, paige," i finally cut her off sternly.

the rejection in her eyes is more than i can take. but i stand my ground, afraid that if i let myself believe her words, there would be no going back. no matter how much i want to.

i want to believe you. i want to believe you so badly it hurts.

she drops her hands defeated, warm tears running down her cheeks. i take her face in my hands now, leaning in to kiss her forehead softly. i linger for a moment too long, aching to soothe her, to tell her i feel the same.

i'm sorry paige. i'm so sorry.

i let out a trembling breath, "let me take you home."

#Spotify #pazzi #pazzi fics #pazzi fic #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #i bet on losing huskies

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inkyblinders · 4 years ago

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These Fragile Pieces

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Requested by anon: Hi! I was wondering if I can request a Tommy Shelby angst to a happy ending imagine. Basically, Tommy told y/n to wait for him, but he moves on with Grace. Now, when she tries to move on, he won’t let her... etc.

Author’s note: This story is set shortly after the events of Season 1. ~1000 words.

Warnings: Angst

Tags: Let me know if you want to be added or removed

@rrtxcmt, @whizzbeesdukes ___________ “It starts and ends at the Garrison for us, eh?”

On a night like this, the pub should be filled with customers, red-faced with whisky and loud with song. But the tables are empty, the room so quiet you can almost hear the sawdust from the ceiling drift to the ground, swirling in the air like snowflakes.

You can do that--change business hours according to your whim and fancy-- when you’re the leader of the Peaky Blinders.

“Tommy, you didn’t need to close down the pub just to talk. It’s not like I’d run away. I’m not unreasonable.” Your mouth twists even as your voice is steady.

“Aye,” He says heavily. “It’s not you who’s unreasonable.”

He casts his eyes upward, and if you didn’t know any better you would think he was praying. But Tommy Shelby doesn’t pray to God. That part of him died when he went off to war and came back a man with a heart made of frost and stone.

“What do you want? If you need someone to mind the pub now that Grace is--”

“That’s not what I came to talk to you about. The truth is...”

Tommy reaches across the rickety old table and takes your hands, his own palms callused and warm. Good, strong hands. You’ve seen them kill a man before, but you’ve also seen them carefully pick bluebells from the field and thrust them to you, sweet and bashful in the way a boy in love could only be, because he knew they were your favorite.

That was years ago. Now you hardly know the man sitting across from you.

There were rumors that Tommy fell in love with a golden-haired siren and lost her when she betrayed him. You’ve seen Grace working in the pub before. She was quiet, polite to the rowdy customers but keeping to herself. When you told her you had kin from Galway she smiled wistfully and said she missed the rolling green hills there.

Her songs were clear and sweet, and they brought back some semblance of normalcy to the town. The war-haunted men of Small Heath have gone too long without something beautiful in their lives.

So when you saw Tommy grow closer and closer to Grace, lingering in the bar after hours, passing over your gaze as though you were a ghost, you couldn’t find it within yourself to hate her. After all, it wasn’t her fault that he left you waiting on an empty promise.

f,Now, as you look at Tommy’s hands holding yours, ashamedly waiting for you to find the truth behind his eyes, you realize what he came for. Why he needed to talk to you alone. And a sudden fury filled you so that you could barely speak.

“How dare you,” You say in a low voice, shaking. “How dare you waltz into my life, pretending nothing’s changed, when I’ve waited and waited for you to come back to me?"

“After Grace, I--”

“Was this seat where she sang for you, that first day? Did you pick this place because it reminds you of her? I'm not a dog to be replaced when your favorite runs away." The words rip out from you, dripping with acid, cruel even to your own ears.

He flinches as if you'd struck him in the face. "It's not like that," he says fiercely, "I never meant to hurt you. And I never loved Grace."

“We’re through, Tommy. You made your choice and I made mine. I have a man, now. He is kind to me, you know? Kind and true.”

“But you don’t love him.”

His matter-of-fact tone makes you truly want to strike him.

"You pretended I didn't exist, Tommy. You came back and pretended I was a stranger."

Tears blur your vision until his face dissolves into fractures of color and light. You blink them impatiently away, but more well up to replace them until you feel him get up and sit beside you. And despite hating yourself for it, you allow him to gather you in his arms, and press your head to his shoulder,

It has been so long, the closeness should feel foreign. But as he murmurs into your hair and tenderly wipes the tears away with his hand, as you breath in his scent like oxygen, it's like the war never happened and you only belonged to each other again.

"I came back from France different, and I didn't want you to see me like that." Tommy says quietly, his voice rumbling in his chest.

"Back in the trenches, when the cries of the dying were too loud to be ignored, I'd close my eyes and see your face. When I slept I'd dream of seeing you again, holding bluebells in your arms."

"But when I came back everything was wrong. All I saw were the blood and the mud and the dead. I saw Grace and I thought, maybe I could make you hate me this way, hate me enough to make you forget. So you don't ever have to see me trapped in my own mind, reliving horrors not meant for anyone to see."

Now it is he who twists his lips into a sardonic smile.

"But it seems like she left before she could do any damage."

"Grace never did anything. It was you who thought you could play God with my heart." You sniffle even as your heart breaks at the pain Tommy has hidden for so long.

“And what a fool I was for believing I could do that." Tommy sighs, full of regret.

"As for the Garrison, love, don't you remember? This was where you sent me off. You said you’d rather remember me here smiling and drunk instead of scared at the station. When we sat here, I also asked if you’d wait for me.”

"So I'm asking again, as wretched as a man can be, am I too late?"

"No," You whisper softly, reaching across the space between you to cup his face in your hands, "Never."

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinders #tommy shelby x y/n #peaky blinders fluff #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #tommy shelby imagine #peakyblindernet

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lyricsofravensong · 3 years ago

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The beat of a longing heart

• Jake x MC • hurt/comfort, fluff • ~ 1 675 words + a chat•

• request by Anon: hey, i don't know how to start this ask but... well i got the news that my favorite drummer has passed away and i can't deal with it without thinking about jake comforting MC... i think this is weird and I must be mixing things up, but it's a comforting thought...you are my favorite writer on tumblr out of all the blogs and i am always happy to read your works so if you are accepting requests could you please write something about jake and mc? thank you😢❤️

• Your evening was supposed to be a sad song until the end, but then an unexpected melody appears from the rain.

A/N: Here it finally is! 🌠 Thank you for the request dear anon, I hope you're doing well. 💕 Sorry again for being so slow! 😖

I wasn't sure if you wished for a chat or a written story, so I combined them a little. :) I was really struggling with the editing but this is the best I can offer at the moment and I don't want to make you wait any longer. I hope so much I'm not letting you down and this story gives you the comfort you were missing. 💚

And thank you @dreamer-writer-fangirl for the encouragement! ❤

When you're happy, the beat of the music resonates with your cheerful heart; it dances and flutters in every corner of your body, making you feel powerful and alive.

When you're sad, the lyrics of the songs portray the pain your heart is aching with; they poke and stroke every inch of your bleeding soul, challenging and healing.

The song of your evening starts with a heavy sigh escaping from your lungs. Disappointment burns in your throat, but you swallow it down painfully. It's not Jake's fault that the theme of your day had been nothing but a repeating chorus of a sad song, and it seems like the evening is going to continue the manner. But you can't deny that the absence of his presence is one note more to the chord of your grief.

Rain sets the tune by hitting the roof with a sound that's reaching the rumbling measures of a thunderstorm. The ambience of it is making you even more anxious.

The beat comes in as a pulse of your longing heart, echoing in every cell of your body. Your mind is helplessly out of tune and can't keep up with the racing tempo.

You give up on tears as the rain makes a crescendo that covers the voice of your sobbing. Your thoughts are a swirling mess of unsettling beats, counting every person there is for you to miss. A wave of sorrow floods over your soul and the pouring rain invades your brain until your tears turn to raindrops.

You cry for a long time and the static rhythm of the rain is like a stereo to your feelings.

At first, the careful knocking on the door gets lost in the mixed concert of percussion going on in your head. When it comes again stronger, you sit up slowly. You have no intention of answering it, a single glance at your tear-stained face in the mirror confirms that. You're sure that the intruder will give up quickly since who in their right mind would be outside in that weather. The doorbell rings once and is followed by the uplifting tone of your phone receiving a message.

Your heartbeat drops tragically as you read the text Jake had sent.

Tension builds up as you hurry to the door without a second glance at the mirror. The beat of your heart drums in your ears when you yank the door open. And then - every sound goes silent.

There's Jake, standing in the rain outside your door. His black hair is dripping wet as well as his hoodie of the same color. In contrast to them, he's holding a white plastic bag in his hand, phone in the other. Your eyes meet his and you stare at each other equally shocked. The shaken expression on Jake's face indicates that you look as awful as you felt a second ago.

"I can't stop the rain, but… here I am. Ready to hold you," Jake says and a hint of embarrassment appears on his face. You follow his every move as he puts his phone in the pocket of his hoodie and then - trying to figure out what to do with his freed hand - runs his fingers through his wet hair.

"I hope you're not bothered by me intruding like this," he mumbles awkwardly, making a shy glance towards you.

Words get caught in your throat and come out pitifully feeble, "Or course not, but… how?" Your voice breaks and you have to gasp for breath. "How? Why?"

There's a clear twitch on Jake's face by the tearful sound of your voice. For a minute he looks almost panicked as he struggles to find the next words.

"I was getting this when you texted me." He lifts the plastic bag so you can see the logo of a nearby Chinese restaurant. "Rain offers some cover so it's safer for me to be out. I was so insanely worried about you that my legs just carried me here."

Your mind is gradually catching up with the new tempo of this turn of events. Another wave of tears is blurring your eyes and you slap a hand over your mouth to cover the weird grin spreading on your face.

"And I'm glad they did," Jake continues, pulling the corner of his lips into a sympathetic smile. "I'd hate to think of you being alone like that."

You shake your head in disbelief at this unexpected change of key in the earlier flatness of your emotions. You let out a trembling breath. A new verse in the song of your evening starts when you sprint out in the rain and throw yourself into Jake's arms. You bury your face into his chest and let out the forceful sobs. Jake drops the bag on the ground and wraps his arms tightly around you.

The drumming of the rain fades to the background as you stand in its shower, crying the whole record of your sorrows over Jake. He listens to it quietly and doesn’t let go even when you raise your hand to wipe your nose on your sleeve. Gradually your weeps quiet down along with the rain which is throwing the last separate drops on your already damped clothes. You rest your head on Jake’s shoulder and squeeze the back of his hoodie.

“Have I ever told you why I like the rain?” his voice asks softly beside your ear.

“No,” you sniffle. “I don’t believe you have.”

“I like it because it reminds me of you.”

“Why is that?” You raise your head to look at Jake’s face, forcing him to loosen his grip which he fixes by resting his hands behind your lower back.

“It was pouring when I contacted you for the first time,” he smiles. “That was the day my life changed. For me, rain symbolizes the unpredictability of life. I feel like anything is possible on a rainy day.”

“That’s something you just proved to be true,” you laugh and brush a strand of hair aside from his forehead. Jake stares at your face with such intensity that you suddenly become very aware of your swollen eyes and runny nose. You blush and lower your head.

“I’m sorry about crying so much. I know I look hideous.”

Jake sets his hand gently on your cheek, making you look up at his face again as he examines yours even closer.

“No, you’re still fascinating.” His whisper makes your heart sing with emotions you have never heard so vividly before.

“My face is all swollen and full of tears…” you splutter in loss of words.

Jake’s smile only widens and he wipes your cheeks tenderly with his fingers. “They’re just raindrops.”

You chuckle, “Then you can stop the rain after all.”

Tears of the sky are still dripping from the trees and corners of the roof all around you. They form an uneven rhythm of a harmony you’re now hearing differently; not as an echo of your pain, but more as a ballad for sadness.

But sadness is not the theme of your feelings anymore when you share the Chinese with Jake on the couch in your living room. No food has ever tasted so delicious as this slightly soaked and chill portion of noodles eaten straight from the container, taking turns of using the one pair of chopsticks Jake had with him.

The second verse of your evening is composed from comfort. After the food is finished and Jake’s drenched hoodie is drying on the back rest, you lean against his shoulder and slowly give lyrics for your sadness by telling him all about your previous distress. His t-shirt is wet too, but you forget it when his arm wraps around you, pulling you closer to his side.

Jake's presence is a lot like music; without saying much he still makes you feel understood and healed. His comfort is mainly instrumental but filled with so many soothing nuances of warm touches and thoughtful nods. He is the melody your evening missed. He is the lyrics for your love and the stereo for your desire; resonating stronger than the drumming of the rain. He makes you believe that just like music, your feelings are also made to be shared with your loved ones. And as you let your head fall to his lap and turn on your back to meet the softness of his eyes, you realize that this one you love very much.

Rain starts a new solo on the roof with full force as the song of this evening comes to the bridge. Jake bends down to you, his intention written clear on his face. Still he stops hesitantly right above your mouth, pausing the music just before the beat drops. But your heart is singing and you hit the play by reaching your hand behind his head and pulling him down to your lips. The kiss launches a full symphony inside you and every note makes you yearn for more.

On a short rest between kisses you caress Jake’s cheek and say, “Now I hope it will never stop raining.”

“I thought you hated it,” Jake points out.

“Not anymore,” you mumble while your attention is drawn to the way Jake’s mouth forms the words he speaks and how his lips are tuning into an amused smile.

“What made you change your mind?” he asks.

“No one in their right mind would go outside in that weather, so you have to wait here until the rain is over.”

When you're in love, music understands your every feeling; the fluttering happiness, the aching yearning, and the healing comfort. All the lyrics tell the story of the two of you, of every smile and tear you’ve had.

A perfect harmony is formed when two beats of two longning hearts meet each other in a beautiful duet.

This song of your evening does not end yet, the music of your hearts continues beating in the calming dusk of a rainy day.

_____________________

It was actually raining every time I wrote this. 🤭��

#duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc #iamjake #my writing

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everafterkeiji · 4 years ago

Text

Song: About the Boy by Little Mix

Summary: Wherein a red head manages you to act like a fool in love

Pairing: Eijiro Kirishima x fem! reader

Warning/Genre: CRACKTIVITIY AND FLUFF

Word count: 5.4k

Quirk: Enchantment / Magic

Abilities : Flight, can cast spells, your emotions help you increase the amount of energy you blast, when you use your quirk your eye color changes to your favorite color (Y/F/C)

Symbols: Bold+Italic = lyrics , Italic= memories/text/thoughts

A/N: PLEASE this song is a bop and it just goes so well so pls listen to it!!❤️

You were just walking, a coffee in your hand with earbuds in blocking out the noise of the streets. You were on your way to your dream school, UA, while mindlessly scrolling through your phone thinking that you could reach your school earlier than you expected. You were nervous to say the least to meet the people that literally brought down the bots like it was nothing. Even if you aced the test, it was still intimidating to be in the same room with such powerful people. Do they even recognize me? Fuck I can't hold a conversation on my own. You thought. You took in a sip of your coffee in hopes that it can calm down your nerves.

Yet the universe regards your wishes when a body hard as a rock came in contact with yours. With one hand holding on to your hair and the other on your waist protecting your fall as you screamed in surprise when you both land on the street with a thud. The hardness of what you felt softens when you see bright red hair in your vision. The stranger- actually very handsome stranger that was on top of you looks at you with red wide eyes.

Did I die and heaven gifted me my dream boyfriend?

"Miss? Miss? Oh my god- I'm sorry for being in this position- I mean- Some guys weren't looking and their car was heading your way and you couldn't hear me so I had to save you- Are you okay?" He says panting, you take in the view in front of you as he helps you stand up brushing off the dust in your clothes, you silently thanked yourself for not dressing into your uniform knowing you can change into it with a spell. You were holding his hand. At the sight of it you immediately blush, ignoring the giddy feeling in your chest.

Man is he cute. You thought.

"Can you hear me?" You nod but you were loosing your cool when your shirt was drenched in coffee. You also frowned at the sight of your now broken earphones laid out on the street. You thanked the heavens that you had iced coffee. His eyes turn to your outfit, biting his lip in regret wishing he could've pushed away the coffee before ruining your outfit.

"I'm so sorry about your shirt! I can buy you another one-"

"T-thank you." You managed to say while he gives you a shy smile with a hand to his neck.

"It's nothing! Heroes should always save people shouldn't they?" You smile at his words.

He actually saved me.

You couldn't help but compare the events to some fairytale when a dashing young man saves you-that part alone was true but your imagination stops when you check the time on your phone.

"H-holy shit I'm gonna be late! I'm so sorry, I have to go! Thank you!" Your eyes glowed as you flew, not looking back to the red heads reaction to your sudden action. To say he was surprised was an understatement. You, in mid air, recites a spell to teleport your way into school. You landed in front of the gates of UA as you quickly utter a spell to freshen your appearance as you enter. When you arrive at front of the classroom, your hand couldn't reach the knob with how it was shaking yet you took a deep breath opening it to see people chattering away.

You decided to take a seat at the left row when a sudden red head comes running in the room.

"Hey! I'm so sorry I'm a bit late something came up and-" his eyes lock with yours and you teleport in front of him and he jumps a bit when you appear, the class looking at you two curiously. They were taken aback by your quirk.

"It's you."

From then on you swore on your life to avoid the red head but seeing his warm smile, his kind eyes, his charm, how can you do such a thing? As far as the class knows, you are by far the most powerful one knowing you can do anything just by a spell, basically everything you wished for can be handed to you in a silver platter. However, how can one Kirishima Eijiro make you weak to your knees? Was it his physique? His personality? His kindness? You couldn't pick your poison on what exactly drawn you the red eyed teen.

Something about the boy

Trying to find a logical reason on what makes this man so interesting to you was the most troublesome thing to do. Why is that when he talks to you every function in your body stops? Whenever you open your mouth you tend to loose track of what you wanted to say and end up mix matching your words.

It's the verse in my head

The words that make me stutter

Ever since you met him, it was like his presence took away your ability to speak. Nothing has ever drawn you to such a being before but acting weak in front of him wasn't something you wanted to do. You're basically a witch, seeing you fly the first time you met him he already knew he was curious about you too. You were already outstanding in his eyes, what else can you possibly do? Shapeshift? Make him fly? All you can do was try to avoid him like the plague so your heart can contain itself from letting him have it yet even with a smile on his charming face, it already makes your surroundings filled with such vibrant colors.

The change from gray to color

You often use your flight to catch up with him sometimes, knowing he was always intrigued with how easy it was for you to float around like that. Sometimes you use your quirk whenever he drops something, that's when you raise a finger while the fallen objects simply follow your finger as you placed them back on his hands. No matter how much you used your magic in front of him it never fails to make him stare in fascination.

Even his little buddies were interested in you, Mina always making you do tricks in the air while Kaminari begs you to lay a spell on Bakugo. Which of course you granted Minas request instead of Kaminaris knowing how powerful and pissed off Bakugo can be, it can possibly lead to your grave. But of course, whenever Kirishima had a favor you were bound to do it in a heartbeat. He once requested to teleport with you finding it so convenient and absolutely captivating how you can just pop up in different places.

"Do you trust me?" You asks helding out a hand in front of him, he nods happily while you utter a spell setting you're destination to be outside of UA. His hand tightens around yours and you smile while you zap out of the classroom seeing flashes of light before landing just in front of the gates of UA with a swoop sound. Kirishima raises his fists to the air with adrenaline filling his body.

"That was so cool, Y/N! Man, your quirk is literally something else. How can you do that so easily?-" His next words became a blur to you when you just stand there admiring him. With a smile to your face, you just nod at his words not even bothering to listen. You were sure he was rambling on and on about your abilities and once again your heart speeds up taking in his compliments.

A guaranteed bet

Oh, I found my lucky number

Even when you found yourself bruised and exhausted, the worried red head would always check up on you after training. At times when you felt like you weren't giving your best at your battles, he would manage to change your perspective on yourself making you push your limit. Which causes you to overuse your power making you unconscious in the middle of the fight while Kirishima and the others crowd around you, bringing your drained body to Recovery Girl. He would be right there along with Kaminari once you've regained strength.

The feeling that you get

Can't help but make me wonder

You will do the exact same thing to him. Bakugo will test out his powermoves on Kirishima and Kirishima will take it like the man he is but Bakugo ends up overworking the boy leaving burns on his skin. Watching him fight was something so intriguing to you. He knows he isn't good with long distance fights yet you offer him with your kind words edging him to do better. You would wrap bandages on his arm whenever they were ugly with scratches and burns or cast a spell to supply with him food and beverages when he missed lunch.

No need to try

He's just right

Oblivious to your actions, you continued to show how much you care for your little angel, earning teases from Bakugo and Sero yet you disregarded their comments and kept casting spells just to see his winning smile fall upon his face and that alone completes your day. You've gone to malls together, Kaminari, Mina, Sero, and Bakugo tagging along. Even if you intended to be with him only.

"Hey Kiri?" You asked tapping his shoulder gently while you flew above him leaning downwards to reach his shoulder. He turns around with a smile in his eyes when he sees you above him, you were in a sweater and leggings so whenever you flew above anyone, no one could dare to land their eyes under your shirt or your skirt, which everyone respectfully turns away -but Mineta? He was obviously the reason why you were conscious on your outfits.

"Hey Y/N! What's up?" He asks while you circle around him before you floated just in front of him with your cheeks pink from gaining the courage to ask him out.

"I was wondering if we can hang out at the mall if you're um available or if you want to- it's okay if you say no though-" he cuts you off with a chuckle before you landed on your feet, lowering your head thinking it was the best way to hide your flustered state.

"I'd love to Y/N! I'm down for anything plus I think there's a new movie out so I'm excited to watch it with you guys!" He says excitedly and you sighed thankful that he didn't reject you but you tensed up when you felt an arm wrapped around your shoulder. You turned your head to see a smirking Kaminari with his eyes on you as you rolled your eyes while he pulls you closer.

"A NEW MOVIE? I'M DOWN! What about you guys?" Suddenly Mina and Sero pop up behind Kirishima as you nudge Kaminari with you elbow, glaring at him while he laughs at you.

"Ooh we're going to the mall? I'm coming with~" Mina says clapping her hands while Sero chuckles beside her saying he wanted to come as well.

"Bakugo?" You only hear a grunt from him then you lower your head while Kaminari laughs at you. You raised your head shooting daggers his way and his eyes widened making him remove his arm around your shoulder before hiding behind Kirishima, scared you were gonna lay a death spell on him.

Nonetheless, you enjoyed their company even if it didn't go as well as you planned. When you were caught staring at Kirishima, Bakugo rolls his eyes before grabbing you to the corner pulling you away from the rest.

"Oi, look at me." He says and you look up at him, thrills running down your spine knowing you were never this close to Bakugo before. Soon, you were questioning how you were even alive at this point.

"W-what is it Bakugo?" You asked shakily yet he smirks at you.

"You got the heart eyes for shitty hair, dumbass?" Your eyes widen before you look away and he teasingly chuckles at your dismay.

"Ah, shitty hair huh? You might wanna lessen that stare of yours. Everyone knows you shit head." You cover your face in your hands and Bakugo chuckles again at your state. You stare at him- well it came more as a glare when you tried to appear stronger to the explosive boy.

"D-do they? Look, as much as I like him, I really couldn't care less if he doesn't notice."

He's got that something

I can't let nobody tell me no

"You wanna mutter a love spell on him, cupid?" Bakugo teases laughing at you. Your eyes glowed before making him turn to you with his eyes rolling. He covers your mouth before you can even cast a spell on him. His smirk resurfaces on his face.

"So you're willing to die so you can cast a spell on me huh extra?" You roll your eyes at him before removing his hand on your mouth.

"I'm not making him fall in love with me, stupid. I can't and I won't. Its against the use of my quirk."

Even if you were able to cast spells, you weren't allowed to cast a spell to make someone fall in love with you or for someone to die upon your spell not because of some forbidden chant, but it was because you couldn't handle the pressure and power of it. Casting death upon someone was not something to take ever so lightly. You were well taught enough to know the spells needed for death but your emotions and morals won't allow you. The amount of energy for you to even obtain to cast a spell that strong will certainly make you pass out not to mention to enormous guilt that will weigh on your shoulders once you do so.

"Y/N?" A voice appears beside you and Bakugo. You both turn around to see Kirishima with curious eyes. The sight in front of him suddenly marking a memory in his mind seeing you so close to Bakugo, especially when Bakugo had a prominent smirk on his face while he was staring at you. He only broke the conversation when he felt a tug on his heart seeing you two.

Bakugo leaves you two alone with yet another smirk tugging on his lips.

"No wonder that dumbass likes her." He mutters under his breath.

You believed that even without a love spell, there was no way you weren't going to succeed. Even if you had to cast a dozen spells just to make him smile, just to see his eyes lit up whenever you show him magic, just to see him be happy because of you, it was all worth it. But how far can your patience reach when he's gone busy with internships?

You knew that him, Midoriya, and the others were quite busy because of their internship and the more days pass by you, the less you see Kirishima. You were stuck in class paying attention to whoever was up front, or just fighting with Kaminari to test out some new spells you learned. Sometimes, you would choose to hang out with Bakugo and Sero just to avoid your thoughts whenever you worried about him.

Yet on the other side of the field, he misses you as well.

He misses to be able to feel your presence around him, he misses to see how powerful you were, he misses your little gestures or gifts that you bring to him. Though, in the back of his mind, he can't help but think of you and Bakugo. Seeing you two so close at the mall, made him feel small all of a sudden. What were they talking about? Why was he smirking like that? Are they secretly dating? His mind was filled with questions but then again he thinks that Bakugo wasn't a dating person. He was conflicted if he should just ask you directly or just observe on the sidelines.

Bakugos words were ringing in your head about a love spell. You've never casted a love spell. Yet alone even find a spell to do it since you feel guilty meddling with a person's emotion towards someone. Now that Kirishima had his hands busy, there's no harm done if the person you badly wanted to cast it upon wasn't here. You just wanted to try since a love spell was much easier to conjure than a death spell. All you had to was utter the designed chant but you were questioning if it even works without the potions or herbs. You were indeed a powerul being so you did skip ahead on the steps.

Having a heavy book on your hand was laid out in your bed just switching back and forth between pages. Your fingers drag across the surface of the paper reading the chant in your head. You sighed, this isn't gonna work. This chant is literally older than All Might. You thought. As your fingers brush against the rough surface, your eyes landed on a love spell that required no potion or exchange. It was said to be a spell that enhances the attraction but some pages were torn off making the sentences confusing, yet the chant was still there.

Meanwhile, an excited yet nervous boy was on his way to your room. Kirishima finally had the time to be with you and he was more than anxious to face you knowing the tightening in his chest was making his mind race at the thought of finally seeing you. Though the thought of seeing you with Bakugo, had the poor boy rethinking his actions.

The chant only had one requirement, and that was nothing more than your emotions. If your emotions portray what you desire, the chant was sure to work on whoever your target was. You felt that without Kirishima around your emotions weren't as deep than you thought, putting you at ease. You sigh as you brace yourself for a chant, taking in a deep breath. Your hands placed on top of the spell with your eyes glowing before closing them as an aura surrounded you.

"Fall upon me and obey with bliss, as he whose heart shall belong to me, with the name that lie on my lips, to love and intertwine his heart to me, you are mine to be-"

"Y/N?"

"KIRISHIMA?!" Your eyes widen as great winds surround the two of you before the once crimson red eyes of the teen stood in front of you glowed pink as the wind surrounds him. It happened so rapidly that you were off your feet flying towards the teen that lay unconscious on your room, shaking him with worry.

"Kirishima?! Hey, hey wake up!" You shout shaking him up and Bakugo walks by your room to see his unconscious friend flat out on the floor. His vermillion eyes widen as he takes Kirishima.

"OI SHIT HEAD WHAT'D YOU DO?" Bakugo shouts and you shake your head as the blonde helps Kirishima stand up, his arm on Kirishimas shoulder being a wall for him to lean on.

"I d-don't know! Come with me." You grabbed Bakugos shoulder as you utter a spell teleporting you to Recovery Girl. Bakugo was surprised at how fast you landed but he only laid down Kirishima before grabbing your arm harshly pulling you outside her room.

"Mind telling me why the shit head is passed out on your room?" You fidget with your fingers, your heart racing. Did it work? It was an accident! Why didn't I lock my fucking door? Why was he here anyway? Your mind hurting from the power that you released, and it was most definitely hurting because of the worry.

"Fuck Bakugo I don't even know! I was just practicing a s-spell okay! And Kirishima just came in okay and the spell was directed to him-" You were cut off when Bakugo when raised you by grabbing you by the collar of your shirt, making you float so you don't loose balance at how he easily lifted you off your ground before you flew.

"It's the love spell isn't it?" You gulped as he stares at you, bringing your face closer to his before you give him a silent nod lowering your head, then your feet reaches the surface now that he sets you down.

"Ain't that desperate huh extra?" He smirks but you punch his chest, catching him off guard.

"Oi shit head what'd you-"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY! I'm not fucking desperate for Kirishima to acknowledge me or like me back, Katsuki. He just came in my room, I didn't even know he was coming back!" You shout back but he only shake his head.

"Dumbass you don't need a fucking spell-"

"Y/N? He's looking for you." Recovery Girl comes behind you two and you jump at her voice.

"I- thank you ma'am." She nods at you but before you can open the door Bakugo stops you midway.

"Oi, don't you think that stupid spell of yours have a shitty side effect? Who knows what shitty hair will act like." He scoffs and you sigh, running your hand to your hair.

"So what? I can't talk to him?" He flicks your forehead with his fingers and you hit his shoulder while he smirks.

"Ah it's a love spell isn't it? Isn't he gonna act all clingy and shit?" You shrug your shoulders and Bakugo grabs your head shaking it lightly while you slap his hand away.

"And they say that you're the smart one." You roll your eyes at his comment before opening the door nonetheless. You were face to face with a sat up Kirishima with a hand to his head.

"K-kirishima?" Bakugo almost wanted to laugh at your stutter but you nudge him with your elbow earning an annoyed groan from the blonde.

"How are you feeling shit head?" Bakugo asks and Kirishima just eyes you two but once his eyes leave the blonde, Kirishimas eyes linger on you more.

"I don't know what happened, my head just really hurts but Recovery Girl says nothings broken so I'm fine! What's got you guys so worried?" He asks with curious eyes and you both shake your head.

"I'm just glad you're doing okay, Kiri. Are you sure you're not feeling anything weird?" You ask, your heart pounding. Kirishima shakes his head and looks at you.

"Nah, I feel okay! I guess I was just exhausted and passed out. I'm fine, Y/N, I swear. What about you? I haven't seen you in days." He gives out a small chuckle and you sigh in relief.

It didn't work, you and Bakugo thought.

"I'm fine, Kirishima." You smile at him and returns the gesture back at you, yet the guilt was now weighing over your shoulders knowing you casted a spell on him. Kirishima took notice of you had your head hung low and you were playing with the ends of your skirt. His hand reaches your hair, gently caressing your hair and while your wide eyes and flustered cheeks were hidden from him, it was no denying that you were shaking.

I've got it bad. Kirishima thought.

You look up at him while his hands were still caressing your hair. You were searching for traces of the spell on his eyes but you found nothing but the glimmer in his eyes when he stares back at you.

"I'm glad I get to hang out with you again, Y/N." He says and you just simply wanted to faint at his kind words and you hear a very displeased scoff behind you.

You and Bakugo just observe Kirishima for the rest of the week. You two would sometimes discuss if you accidentally conjured it onto someone else that was named Kirishima but you think otherwise. You even asked your parents but they said love spells were always a hit or miss. You even thought about asking help from Midoriya, which you knew he would accept, but this issue was between you three. Kirishima was just being his usual self, nothings changed. Everything was the same as before but for Kirishima, his feelings were weighing down his heart. The more he saw you and Bakugo have your little conversations in a corner, he already knew his chances were slim to none but he still wanted to be with you with every chance he gets. Thankfully, Kaminari delivered the news that you two weren't dating when he saw Bakugo hit you in the head.

I won't stop until the girl is mine. Kirishima selfishly thought. Finally realizing he wasn't gonna waste his time anymore. He knew it was selfish, but were your little gifts and tricks to him could mean you liked him too?

Months of being with you, admiring you from afar, denying the feeling in his heart whenever you flew around him grabbing his attention, the care you give him when he's injured, it was all to overwhelming to finally come to a decision that he is in fact, in love. Maybe the spell didn't work and he's come to the light or perhaps the spell actually worked and it increased his attraction towards to you. But the way his breathing came to a halt whenever you were in the air fighting against his classmates, or whenever he feels this warm feeling in his heart whenever you laugh or check up on him, he knew he felt something else.

For you and Bakugo, he was just being his usual hero self. Helping you here and there and following you wherever you went making excuses just to be around you. It looks as if the roles were reversed now. You were once the love sick puppy following him around but now your cautious and almost distant still afraid of the spell. Now it was Kirishima that was falling under your spell. Volunteering to help you with training or even carrying your things. Bakugo took notice of his actions but didn't pay any attention to it knowing Kirishima already told him his little crush for the magical girl.

Got me running around like I'm a lovefool

Taking me down I can't stop

But the guilt was unbearable on your side.

You knew even if the chant was a fail, you still directed it to him. Who knew what side effects could have been given to him? What if you never revert the spell? Is his soul tied to yours? While the guilt was eating you away, you're fingers hover over his contact texting him finding no more excuses to hide what you've done.

hey kiri! do you think you could meet up with me at the mall?

In which he responded to rather quickly.

heyy! yea sure be right there in 15 mins!

He got me feeling like a girl gone mad. You thought while you patiently waited for the boy. Meanwhile, Kirishima had his feet on the ground ready to be with you but his nerves quickly shut down wondering what's gotten you to meet up with him so sudden. When you spot his figure, you signal him a wave and he sits next to you with a warm smile.

"Hey Y/N! You good?" You bit your lip, anxious to tell him the issue you've had for weeks. He frowns at your state and takes a step forward landing his hand on your shoulder, giving you sympathetic smile.

"You can tell me anything, Y/N. It's just me." He says the concern in his voice evident. You take a deep breath before finally speaking.

"Kirishima, I'm so sorry for casting a l-l.. l-love spell on you. It was accidental though! I wouldn't think about putting a spell on you! Y-you just came in so suddenly and I lost control over my power- I didn't know if it worked though but-"

"Wait wait.. a love spell?" He tilts his head in confusion and you lower your head still trying to relieve the stress.

"It didn't work though! You're not showing any signs of love or anything.. right?" His eyes widen and his cheeks blossomed with the color the same as his hair. He lets his hand reach the back of his neck before staring at you, his heart pounding at how anxious he was.

"I- I don't think you need a love spell for me to like you cause I already do." You've never whipped your head much faster than now. You look at him, searching once again for any traces of the spell yet nothing. Nothing but genuine feelings.

He liked you.

You.

"A-are you sure? I'm assuming it's because of the spell huh? I promise I'll try to revert the spell-"

"No amount of spell can make like you the way I do. Even if the spell was accidental, I don't think it was accidental for me to fall for you." Did you past away? What sweet heaven was this? Taking notice of how tensed and quiet you were, Kirishima sighs before looking at you.

"If you're with Bakugo, I completely understand. If you don't like me-"

You stopped his sentence when your hands found its way around his neck and your lips finding its home with his lips. He had his eyes open but once he registers what's happening he immediately pulls you closer, hands to your waist like how you first met, his eyes closing at the sensation of your lips in sync. Everything around you was a blur except for feeling of having him this close to you. You were too overwhelmed and contented with what was happening, you let loose of your quirk. You two were floating and he seems to smile even more as he continues to lay his love on your lips. You pull away resting your forehead on his with a smile that no one can ever tear down.

"God, Kirishima I- I like you so much. Just from the moment we met and no spell can ever change that." You say before you two landed on the ground and your hearts were screaming for joy at this point. Kirishima chuckles in front of you before he pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear making you blush even more.

"Guess I can say I'm under your spell then huh?"

"Oh god."

#katsuki bakugo x reader #todoroki x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima imagine #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #todoroki shouto #bnha todoroki #todoroki imagine #my hero academia #bnha bakugou #bnha x reader #izuku x y/n #midoriya x y/n #bnha kaminari #kaminari fluff #bnha fluff

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doc-pickles · 4 years ago

Text

lovin’ me, touchin’ me

Fun Fact: Reputation is my least favorite TS album. But when I listened to it again looking for inspo, all I could dig up was smut. So… there’s that…

Welcome to your midweek smut break! I wrote this to take place early season 13 before Alex’s trial. I am constantly upset that we didn’t get more Jolex steamy scenes so ya know… I decided to take matters into my own hands. Don’t Blame Me just seemed like the perfect song for them, especially in that moment and how everyone’s opinions constantly affected their view on things Also I literally never ever write smut so this might be weird but bear with me, I’m expanding my horizons this week. AND THIS WEEK ONLY SO DON’T ASK FOR THIS AGAIN. And without further ado, the smutty Reputation fic that came out of nowhere.

TW// Sexual Content. That’s it, that’s literally the whole fic. Sorry not sorry.

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

“Jo. What’re you doing here?”

Alex stared at Jo, standing in his doorway with a sad expression. He hadn’t seen her in weeks, not this close anyways. The times they had passed each other in the halls at work, they had both looked away and avoided interaction. The longing glances and barely spoken words were wearing him down, his heart jumping at the mere sight of Jo standing less than three feet away from him.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Alex looked around, as if waiting for one of their friends to jump out and tell them how bad of an idea it was that they were together. “You shouldn’t be with me.”

“Would you shut up,” Alex is shocked by Jo’s straight forwardness, her eyes meeting his as they stand under the dim porch light. The look she has is one he’s seen many times before, but he tries to convince his brain that Jo’s eyes aren’t filled with lust and wanting right now, there’s no way they could be. “You should know by now that I don’t care about what anyone else says. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can’t have my last memory with you be something horrible. I can’t play through that every time someone mentions your name.”

Alex watches in confusion as Jo steps forward, one hand coming up to his cheek as she fixes him with the look he had tried to tell himself wasn’t there. It was filled with longing and desire, her eyes dark and cloudy as she met his. He missed this, the feeling of Jo being so close to him. He restrains himself from touching her, his hands almost trembling as she takes the final step towards him, her chest hitting his as his eyes close.

“Just one more time,” Jo whispers, her lips ghosting over Alex’s momentarily. His hands come to her hips as if by a magnetic force, fingers already brushing up under the hem of her shirt. “Please Alex, just one night.”

His lips don’t verbally answer her, instead they close the small gap between hers and pull her into a searing kiss. He won’t say it out loud, but Alex needs this just as much as Jo does. And so, Alex tries to use the two beers and the shot of tequila he had earlier as an excuse. Because that makes it easier, right? That makes things easier to explain when his conscience decides to start beating him up later. So he blames the alcohol. He blames it as he pulls Jo through the doorway, as his hand skates up and under her shirt. He blames it as he lets her hands claw from his toned stomach down under his sweatpants, his fingers finding their way to curl against her heat as hers find his hardness. Alex knows better than anyone that he shouldn’t be doing this, but he needs the comfort of holding the love of his life one more time, of having a solid memory of her in his arms. Whatever tomorrow and the next day bring, he needs this with her.

“Upstairs, please,” Jo’s words are breathy, punctuated with moans as Alex’s tongue slides down to her neck, his hardness still pressing against her hands with a roaring urgency. “Take me to bed, Alex.”

He doesn’t need any more confirmation, Alex quickly hoisting Jo up and letting her wrap her legs around him as he climbed the stairs easily. His mind quickly flashes to the first time he carried her up these same stairs, but he brushes the thought off quickly. His lips are still on her neck, marking his way down her collar bone with a trail of love bites that are bound to be blue and purple tomorrow. Mine. All mine. No matter what, you’re mine.

They stumble through the doorway of his room, Alex fervently pressing Jo against the wall as he kicks the door shut again. Her hands are desperately clawing at his shirt, finally pulling it off of his body as he leans back just enough to allow it. Their eyes meet briefly, the uncertainty shining from both of them before Jo’s lips are pressed against his neck, her words soft and slow as her nails gently rake against his now naked back.

“Please, Alex. Make love to me, one more time. Please.”

The pleading words are all it takes for Alex to move from hot and heavy to slow and sensuous. His hands move from Jo’s waist up her back, sliding underneath her shirt one last time as he pushes it up with his hands. It’s gone before he can lay her on his bed, thrown across the room in a blur as his lips trail from her neck down her body. He kisses tenderly at the lace edges of her bra, torturing the sensitive skin there with his teeth as Jo bites back a moan.

Her hands are clawing at his back desperately now, Jo’s moans growing as his tongue darts underneath the black lace to tease her nipples. The rosy peaks push against the fabric of her bra and Alex desperately reaches behind her to unclasp it and throw it clear across the room. With newfound access, Alex fully envelopes one of Jo’s breasts with his tongue, teeth darting out to bite lightly at her nipple. One of his hands comes up to tease her other breast while the other floats down to release the clasp on her jeans.

“Alex,” the moan is breathy and not all there, Jo’s hand sliding down Alex’s body to grasp at him through his sweatpants once more. He grins as his fingers slip beneath the denim and the lace of her panties, finding her center easily and eliciting another moan from her. “I need you, please.”

“Are you sure Jo? I…,” Alex meets Jo’s eyes once more, hers glancing up at him with a certainty he doesn't think he's ever seen. “I fucked up, you don’t want me.” Jo’s face softens at his words, her arms and legs working in tandem to quickly flip him onto his back. She’s leaning over him now, her bare chest pressed to his as her lips ghost up his neck and towards his ear. The sensation makes Alex close his eyes in pleasure, Jo’s hands still desperately working down the band of his sweatpants, fingertips caressing the delicate skin under the fabric.

“I just want you, no one else. Nothing else, you're all that matters to me.”

Alex’s body relaxes at Jo’s words, allowing her to finally rid him of the sweatpants in one fell swoop. Her jeans fall next and before he can comprehend what she’s doing, Jo is straddling his waist, his erection straining painfully against his boxers as her wet heat presses against him. Their lips meet again and Alex has to physically hold back the groan waiting in his throat. His fingers drift further and further up Jo’s exposed skin until his fingers are pinching at her nipples, a loud moan inviting Alex’s tongue into her mouth. Alex tries to wrangle his desire in but he finds that he can’t with the way that Jo is moving on top of him. He lets one hand fall from her breast to the waistband of her panties, pushing the thin fabric down and off of her as his fingers dip into her wet heat again.

Jo breaks apart from Alex then, her pleasure and moans too much for her as she writhes on top of him. He flips them back quickly, Jo’s back pressing into the mattress as Alex moves his fingers in a slow dance against her. His free hand moves to her hips to hold her in place as she moves restlessly against him, desperately aching for more friction. Taking the note from her, Alex slips his boxers off and kneels over Jo with a smirk.

Their eyes meet one last time, Jo’s cloudy with lust and that look of love that Alex had missed so badly. He presses their lips together as he surges forward, coming together with Jo in ways he had only fantasized about for weeks on end. He can feel her hands on him, one tangling in his hair and the other scraping down his back harshly. Alex relishes the feeling of Jo’s nails against him as he pumps steadily in and out of her, the slight pain assuring him that she is indeed real and not a daydream. The moans of his name coming from her urge him on, one hand coming to tangle in her hair as his lips move down her neck and biting down softly.

“Oh god, Alex,” Jo’s words barely make it out, her breath hot against Alex’s neck. Her legs move to wrap around his waist, pushing him deeper into her as she writhes against his bare chest. “Yes, yes. God yes.”

He presses into her harder then, hands pushing her hips into the mattress quickly as his pace moves faster. Alex can see one of her hands reaching carelessly down in search of her clit, but he brushes it away and snakes his hand down to rub her hotly. Her breaths come quickly, pants and moans leaving her as Alex buries his face in the crook of her neck.

This is what she wanted, he thinks. This moment of just them coming together in a dance they had practiced more than enough. It was comforting, the feeling of her skin against his as they moved together. This is the comfort that Jo had so desperately craved and Alex understood now why she wanted it so badly.

“I love you Jo,” Alex’s words are almost lost as his lips brush against her shoulder, but the small cry she lets out signals to him that she heard him. “I love you so much, I always will.” She breaks then, falling over the edge and contracting against Alex as she moans his name. Her hands find purchase on his upper arms as he continues to move above her, his body quickening its pace as he chases his own release.

“Alex, Alex,” his name tumbling from Jo’s gently parted lips is all it takes for Alex to come apart, spilling into her as his teeth sink into the soft skin above her breast. “I love you too, oh god, I love you so much.”

It’s quiet then, only the sounds of their deep breathing filling the room. Alex’s lips are moving softly against Jo’s chest, his lips trailing up to her neck and then her cheeks. The soft and smooth skin is wet and it’s then that Alex realizes that Jo is quietly crying. His fingers brush against her cheek, trying to swipe away the tears but her fingers wrap against his and hold his hand steady. Eyes moving to meet Jo’s, Alex leans his forehead against hers as they stare at each other in a deafening silence.

“Please,” the word comes out so quietly that Alex is sure if he wasn’t listening so intently he would’ve missed it. “Please don’t leave me, I can’t- Alex please. I need you, more than just one night. I need you forever.”

The words stir something in Alex, his head nodding wordlessly as his lips find Jo’s again. There’s an unspoken promise between the two as they fall into their all too familiar rhythm, bodies moving in tandem as they chase their joint release once more. Jo’s voice calls out Alex’s name again and again and he knows then that it’s more than lust or the heat of the moment. She’s begging, pleading with him not to leave her like she’d been left so many times before.

“I got you, I’m not leaving, I swear.”

#jolex #alex karev #jo wilson #jo karev #greys anatomy #jo x alex #jolex fic #tsjolexweek #jolex fanfic #nina writes #nina is going to hell

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biillyhargroves · 5 years ago

Note

Sick!Steve PLEASE! As much as I love me some mom!Steve I'd love to see Billy take care of Steve. Like Steve dealing with some PTSD or something?

I know that this didn’t quite get into sick!fic terrority but the PTSD and hurt/comfort elements are still there and I can always expand it into something a little closer to sick!fic if you would want that!!! I hope you enjoy!!

when you think with your chest (there’s not a thing that you don't see)(fic requests open)

A flash- like a lightning bolt, a clap of thunder; some great cosmic force flips a switch that throws the clock back and shoves Steve tumbling backwards in time. He can smell the smoke from the fireworks, can hear them pop against the ceiling, spark and fizzle on the floor. He can taste the copper tang of blood in his mouth. Sometimes, he sees a shadow moving along the wall and he swears it is a demogorgon crawling on the other side. He can never take his eyes away, sure that it would soon push its way through. Once, he even took a kitchen knife to the drywall, an incident that he is still trying to cover up because he is not quite sure how to explain the huge gash to his mother.

The squeal of bus tires becomes the snarl of a demodog. He jumps when car doors slam. He plays defense every waking hour of his days, always on edge, always alert. On his worst days, his back aches from the tension wound tight across his shoulders.

Today is one such day. Steve’s heart is pounding and he cannot calm it. His body feels like he has run two back-to-back marathons after a line of basketball scrimmages, when in reality he has not done more than walk from the house to the car to the table at the back of Mel’s Diner. Billy sits across from him, and he is staring at Steve. He won’t stop fucking staring.

“Would you fucking stop?” Steve says, and Billy’s eyes widen- not in anger, not even looking hurt. If anything, he looks concerned, and somehow this upsets Steve even more.

“What the hell am I doing?” Billy asks, and Steve shakes his head.

“You know what you’re doing,” Steve says flatly.

“Who pissed in your Cheerios?” Billy asks, and Steve groans.

“Where the fuck did you pull that phrase?” he says. “You sound like a fucking dad.”

"Untwist your fucking panties, man,” Billy says. “You’re making a scene.”

Steve cannot look at Billy too long. He glances over Billy’s shoulder to see the door every time it swings it open. He flinches at every little clank of silverware, every shout from the waitstaff, every call from the cooks. Billy notices, but where, on other days, his eyes followed Steve’s, trailed to whatever was demanding Steve’s attention, today his attention is zeroed in on Steve. Steve feels like he’s under a microscope. He tries to shrink himself down, to make his movements minute, to do anything that might draw Billy’s focus away from him.

It doesn’t work. Billy is, after all, not an idiot. He knows what Steve is doing, even if he hasn't quite pinned down the why. Steve thinks that this is what he is truly trying to deduce, and he doesn’t know if he wants Billy to find the answer.

“You’re still doing it,” he snaps, and Billy rises to his feet.

“That’s it,” he says.

“What’s it?” Steve asks. Billy’s hand closes around his bicep and he pulls Steve to his feet and shoves him not so gently toward the door. “What the fuck?” Steve says. A couple- two underclassmen Steve vaguely recognizes from Hawkins High -at a table near them turns, and when their eyes spot Billy and Steve, they turn quickly away. Billy nudges Steve forward and as they move away Steve can hear the two teens whispering to each other. He thinks he catches his name, but he isn’t quite sure, and before he knows it he is outside being guided toward his own waiting BMW.

“Who’s making a scene now?” Steve grumbles.

“Keys,” Billy demands, opening his palm.

“We didn’t even eat yet,” Steve says.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let you starve,” Billy says. Then he raises his waiting hand. “Keys.”

“I can drive my own fucking car,” Steve grumbles.

“You don’t know where we’re going,” Billy declares, and again he says, “Keys.”

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Steve asks.

“I’m not playing,” Billy says sternly. “Keys. Now.”

Steve relents, but he is not happy about it. He fishes in his pocket and tosses his keys to Billy. When they get into the car, Billy rolls down all the windows. He tunes the radio to his favorite station and turns the volume up as high as it can go.

“You’re gonna blow my speakers,” Steve complains.

“Shut up,” Billy says. He peels out of the diner parking lot with the music blaring. Steve is sure that every single person they pass can hear the closing bars of The Four Horsemen as Billy powers down the street and makes a series of sharp, calculated turns. He drives through town and, when he hits the highway, Steve finds himself nervous.

“Are you going to fucking kill me?” Steve shouts over the music and the wind that gets louder through the open windows at Billy hastens the car’s pace. Steve glances at the odometer and watches as the little needle bounces higher and higher with every mile marker they pass.

“Not yet,” Billy says. He is drumming one palm against the steering wheel in perfect beat with the music. Steve watches every strike, finds himself drawn to it, even counts each slap of Billy’s palm against the wheel. One, two, three, four- in quick succession, then two slower claps before the pattern repeats. When the songs change, so does Billy’s drumming, and Steve is fascinated by the easy way he picks up the nuances of each new song. Eventually, he turns toward the windshield, still listening to that steady drumming through the rush of wind and the throb of the bass.

“Where are we going?” Steve eventually asks, but Billy either does not hear him or chooses not to. When Steve looks at him, Billy has one arm out the window and mouthing the words to Looks That Kill. “Hey,” Steve shouts, and Billy glances briefly at him. “Where are we going?”

Without answering- or perhaps this is his answer -Billy takes the next exit. Steve did not get a chance to read the sign before it blew past them in a blur of brown and white. Billy finally eases up on the gas. Steve doesn’t quite recognize where they are, but Billy seems to know his way. He glides across lanes of thinning traffic, turns down dirt roads that don’t really look like roads, and eventually parks on a strip of worn down grass. When he kills the ignition, the sudden silence almost hurts. It rings in Steve’s ears and, when Steve speaks, he still finds himself yelling as if competing with the music that is now gone.

“You are going to kill me,” he says, “aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not,” Billy says. He swings open the door and slams it behind him. He starts walking without looking to see if Steve is following. Steve thinks that this means he’s supposed to follow, so he lets himself out and does just that.

“Where the hell are we?” he asks. Billy does not answer. He leads Steve down a short dirt trail lined with trees. They walk for barely a minute before the trail empties out onto what Steve thinks must be the smallest beach in existence. Its shore is thin, the sand coarse and rocky, and the water fills up a lake so small that Steve thinks he could wade to the other side. Billy walks onto that small beach, moving down the shore like he’s done this a thousand times before (and, for all Steve knows, he has). He is looking at the ground as he walks, and Steve looks down, too, though he isn’t quite sure what they’re looking for. Eventually, Billy seems to find it. He plucks something off the ground and tosses it in his hand, then winds up his arm with the practiced technique of a major league pitcher and chucks the small rock at the water. It hops over the surface one, two, three times before sinking.

“That was shit,” Billy says, already kicking up some sand in search of a new rock.

“Why’d we come out here?” Steve asks. “There are lakes in Hawkins.”

“They’re all always crowded,” Billy says. “This is better.”

“Better for what?” Steve asks.

“To get away,” Billy shrugs. Steve looks at him. Billy meets his eyes and Steve finds something like compassion there, something like understanding, something like a question. “I don’t know what’s going on up there,” Billy says, pointing at Steve’s head, “but I can see the wheels turning. I know when you’ve got shit on your mind,”

“I don’t really want to-” Steve starts, and Billy shakes his head.

“You don’t have to talk,” Billy says. “But you weren’t thinking about it since the diner, were you?” he asks, and know there is something knowing in his eyes, and it almost makes Steve smile.

“Uh,” he says. “No,” he admits. “Now that you mention it.”

“You can pick the music next time,” Billy says. “I just went default, I guess.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve asks.

“Nightmares?” Billy says. When Steve creases his brow, Billy points just below his eyes, where dark circles that rival Steve’s own sit like fading bruises. “Flashbacks,” he says. At Steve’s confusion, he shrugs his shoulders. “Like I said, I don’t know what’s going on for you, but living in your head isn’t gonna do shit.”

“You sound like a Star Wars character,” Steve says.

“I’m going to have to ask you never to say that again,” Billy says, feigning anger. He then takes another rock from the ground and hands it to Steve. “Skip it,” he tells him. “Focus on the water like you focused on the music.”

Steve takes the rock. He turns it over between his fingers, then glances up the water. After a few seconds, he looks at Billy.

“I still don’t get what this is all about,” he says.

“You’re not focusing,” Billy tells. Steve exhales. He looks back to the water. He raises his arm, flicks his wrist, sends the rock skipping once, twice, three times before it drops to the bottom with a soft plunk.

“Where’d you learn this?” Steve asks. “This, like, focusing bullshit?”

“Honestly?” Billy asks.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “Honestly.”

“Max,” Billy says. “Some shit her dad used to do with her, apparently. She and I started coming down here a few months ago. With all the shit after...well, you know. I guess I was stir crazy. I guess she saw. We’d go on drives. Found this place.”

Steve is only half listening. Billy had been cooped up since Starcourt, this he knows. He had visited him at Hawkins Lab and he had snuck in through Billy’s bedroom window at home. He had been with him, but he hadn’t noticed how cabin fever had made Billy so restless. He was too busy looking for monsters in the shadows, too distracted by the burnt smell of gunpowder he swears he can’t wash off his hands. He feels guilty.

Billy’s hand lands on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to talk,�� Billy says. “But if shit gets too heavy to carry, just tell me you want to go to the beach. Okay?”

The sincerity in Billy’s voice, on his face, settled in the very depths of his eyes, is unlike anything Steve has ever seen in him before. Billy squeezes Steve’s shoulder and Steve thinks he might melt at the touch. Again, he sighs. “Okay.” They are quiet for a time. As promised, they do not talk. They skip rocks. They make it a competition; Billy wins, though Steve chalks this up to experience. The sun begins to sit and they quit their game, instead sitting together the sand. Steve leans against Billy. Billy secures on arm around Steve’s back. Steve rests his head on Billy’s shoulder.

Eventually, Steve asks, “What if I want to talk?”

“What?” Billy asks.

“About...everything,” Steve says. “What if I want to?”

“You can,” Billy says.

“Not now,” Steve clarifies.

“That’s fine,” Billy says.

“But maybe later,” Steve says.

“No pressure,” Billy assures.

“I will want to,” says Steve.

“I’ll be here,” Billy says.

“Promise?” Steve asks. Instead of speaking right away, Billy squeezes Steve’s shoulder. He tugs Steve a little bit closer and Steve lets him. He feels Billy press a kiss to the top of his head and, if possible, Steve curls up even closer to him.

As the sun takes its bow and the sky grows deeply dark, Billy says, “I promise”

#harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove fanfic #harringrove fanfiction #lex writes fics #anon #answered

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nessamaurice · 5 years ago

Text

Simple, Ch. 12 (Loki x F!Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: PTSD

Words: 3145

Suddenly the door was opened, got you startled and you backed away. The moment only lasted like two seconds, giving you not enough time to sort out what was just happening.

"Hey Y/N, how are y-... Uhm, what is going on here?" Tony looked at both of you, one brow raised. He was still wearing his suit except for the helmet, like his first thing to do after coming home was to look after you.

"What? No-, nothing. It's just that I had something like a little nervous breakdown and Loki helped me calm down again and-"

"Nervous breakdown?" Tony rushed over to you. "What do you need? I'm not good at that, camomile tea? Chocolate? Weed?"

You couldn't help but laugh at his helplessness. You carefully stood up to hug him and he returned the embrace.

"This would be a lot more comfortable if it wouldn't feel like I'm hugging a giant letterbox."

"Oh sure, sorry." He stepped away, exited his suit and pulled you into a hug again. "I'm so happy you are here." He pressed a kiss on the top of your head. "You hungry?" He looked to the side and saw the lonely breakfast being untouched.

"Yeah, my broken brain disturbed us getting breakfast."

"Then we should do some catching up on that immediately! Do you want to come upstairs? Nat and Steve are desperately longing for your company. Even Thor’s here, he just heard what happened, but he got instructions to keep it cool. They would be so happy to see you. But only if you feel like, of course. No pressure, hunbun. We're all chillin’."

"I'd actually like to see you all. Am I allowed to leave this mini hospital?"

"Oh, yeah, wait. Bruce, can she come upstairs?" He yelled over to the door and Bruce appeared from behind the wall where he obviously waited for the right moment to come in.

"I'll have a quick look at her data, but I think a little excursion upstairs will be beneficial."

"Great. I'll see you upstairs, cutie." Tony shared his broadest grin and awkwardly waved as he left the room.

You felt a bit funny, so turned to sit back on your bed next to Loki. He gently laid his big hand on your back to support you. Though it was wonderfully warm it sent a rush of goosebumps over your skin.

"Alright, let's see what the machines will tell me.", said Bruce as he walked over to the monitors. "Well, this looks not bad. We got a little heart rate increase but it didn't last long; I guess that was the panic attack you had. How do you feel? Take a moment before you answer."

"Uhm, I guess... I feel okay. So far. The cuts burn like hell itslef and I feel twitchy like a chihuahua and my head swims a bit... and as long as I don't think of what happened... it's okay..." By saying that your memory was just right back but before you sank into deep Loki pulled you a bit closer to him, sending your thoughts elsewhere.

"Before we get upstairs I think you should change into something more covering."

You looked down at your body and noticed the thin hospital dress hanging loosely from your shoulders. You felt the heat rushing to your face thinking of how crappy you must look right now, making you feel dizzy. The next second Bruce was by your side, laying down some fresh and comfy clothes next to you on the bed.

"Oh, you really don't have to feel embarrassed, everyone looks the same wearing hospital clothes. ...And you got anaemia, so…”

"...what?"

"I think what Banner wanted to say is though it is really lovely to see you blushing, your blood is too precious to only be in your cheeks right now." Loki explained with a low voice.

"Uhm, yeah. That is exactly what I meant." Bruce was visibly surprised by Loki's accuracy.

You laughed a bit. "Oh, okay. Well, thank you two. I'll change then."

You stood up and instinctively grabbed behind your back to open the knot of the dress, but paused. Suddenly you couldn’t bear the thought of being naked and exposed in a surrounding that felt like a lab. You were not prepared to view your body again, your bruised and scarred skin.

“What’s wrong?”, Loki asked. “Is something hurting you?

“I.. I… can’t…”, you struggled to find the words.

“Bruce, would you leave please? We will come in a minute.”, Loki said very politely.

“Yeah, sure. Take your time, Y/N.”, he said with a smile and left, understanding he was not the right person to help right now.

“Y/N, relax. Take a breath.”, Loki softly said.

You did as you were told. You looked at the hands in your lap. Suddenly the noise and beeping of the machines in that room became louder and louder in your ears.

“JARVIS, please play some calm songs from Y/N favorites.” It was like Loki was reading your mind. And the music actually helped you to relax a bit more.

“Are you able to tell me what’s making you uncomfortable? If you want to, you can show me as well.”, he said and offered his hand.

Your view was blurred by tears as you looked into his face and down to his hand. You drew a deep breath, and hesitantly lay your hand on his. You allowed your current feelings to slowly flow over to him. You couldn’t watch him, seeing the effects of your inner agony on his face. After a few seconds you suddenly felt a bit solace. You looked up to Loki in surprise. He sat there, eyes closed, concentrating. He was sending you some more pleasant feelings, but without overwriting yours. Before you got too confused he let go of your hand.

“I can change your clothes for you, if you assume it to be easier.”, he offered.

As you were thinking about that offer, he added, “That way you wouldn’t have to view yourself right now. And be assured that I have no other intention than easing your agony, don’t fear about your dignity. I will-”

“Okay.”, you interrupted him. You stood up and closed your eyes. “Please… help me. But no Seidr. That would freak me out right now.”

He stood up next to you and softly pushed you forwards a bit, so he could stand behind you and opened the knot of your dress. You audibly sucked some air into your lungs as you felt the light brushing of it falling down to the floor. The situation was so weird. Your whole body tensed up.

“Please hold up your arms so I can get you into this shirt first.”, Loki said lowly.

You did as you were told, but you did it slowly; you felt the scab from all your cuts pressing into your flesh with every movement.

He carefully pulled the wide shirt over your body. Out of instinct you opened your eyes as your head popped out of the shirt and met his eyes. He was only looking into your face.

Concerned he asked, “Is everything alright? Do you prefer doing this by yourself?”

“No. No, please, go on.” You closed your eyes again. “I… I need you to do this. I.. can’t.”

“No worries. We are halfway through. Please sit down now.”

What you just said was a little bit of a lie, because all you could think of right now was the soft look on his face and the feeling his piercing eyes caused in your stomach. You somehow enjoyed each of his gentle touches while he carefully dressed you.

“I think you feel better now? You are smiling. Or… is it too hot?” He touched your cheek with the back of his fingers.

“What? No, I’m usually freezing easily.”

“Oh, okay then.”, he just said with a little smirk. “Are you ready? Or do you need a moment?”

“No. I’m good to go. Thank you Loki.” You shared a genuine smile before you stood up.

You took a few steps as you went dizzy and your knees got weak. You almost kissed the floor but Loki wrapped one arm around your waist to hold you. The cuts he touched while catching you felt like little hot irons piercing your skin.

"Slowly, slowly, dear! Your enthusiasm is admirable but your body seems not to be at the same pace as your will. Maybe you want stay here?", Loki suggested.

"No!", you exclaimed, not willing to give in. "No, I want to go upstairs. I want to be in a surrounding that does neither look like a lab nor a dungeon. Just... hold me. Carefully."

"Alright, who am I to contradict such a determined woman.", Loki said with a smile.

He held you tightly but without hurting you. You wanted to put your arm around his neck but he was far too tall for that. He offered you his other hand to hold as additional support and you took it. You regretted it immediately because you remembered your powers and wanted to let go again but Loki insisted in holding you, assuring you that wouldn't be a problem. You were a bit... confused because didn’t feel that much, only a bit of inner calmness. But you didn't have much time to think over that, you were too busy concentrating on not to stumble all the way long. Finally you made it upstairs and were greeted by your weird family. They were so eager to restrain themselves to not overload you but it was uncanny to see how happy they were having you back with them halfway healthy, or at least alive. You weren't able to eat much, you had to get used to usual food again, but some toast with a hint of butter tasted like heaven to you. The breakfast was like balm for your soul. You were surrounded by people who dearly loved you though you haven't been a part of their group for very long. They were talking about random stuff, having fun, sometimes encouraging you to interact but never too much. After the breakfast, as everyone had to get back to their business, Tony approached you.

"Hey Honeybun, is everything alright? Do you need anything?", he asked you, one hand on your shoulder, giving you a broad grin.

"No, thanks Uncle Tones. The breakfast was great for me but I'm so tired. Do you think I could sleep in my own bed? I don't want to go down again..."

"I'm sure we can do that. Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No, it's okay. I want to rest a bit so maybe we can play Mario Kart later? Now you maybe even got a chance against me.", you smiled at him.

"That sounds great hunbun.", he said before he placed a kiss on your forehead. "And be prepared to munch my dust. Loki, please escort her to her room."

"Of course. Shall we go then?" Loki stood up in front of you, offering you his elbow for you to hook into.

You were just so happy to get into your own freshly made bed with the window front right next to you. Loki was outside in your personal living room reading, but left your door a small part open.

"JARVIS, please screen the windows to a minimum but not completely, I want to look outside."

"Of course, Miss. And please let me give you my deepest apology for my malfunctioning."

"Don't worry JARVIS, it's okay. I still like you.", you smiled into your pillow.

"Very pleasant to know, Miss. Do you want to listen to low music while falling asleep?"

"Oh that's a wonderful idea. Please, play my favorite songs that are not too wild."

Slowly you drifted into sleep, accompanied by your favorite music.

"I hope you had a nice dream"

You opened your eyes just to see Fieberbrunn again.

"Good, you're awake. So we can go on now.", he said while picking up a syringe with a purple shiny liquid.

"No, no, no. That's just a dream.", you said to yourself.

"Oh, you really think that? Is that a dream, too?" Fieberbrunn rammed to syringe into your arm.

You felt the burning pain of the needle and the ice cold liquid in your veins and all you could do was to scream.

You opened your eyes again and saw Loki.

"OH THANK GOD!", you cried as you threw your arms around his neck.

"It's alright, I'm here." He pulled you into a tight embrace.

"I can't sleep. As soon as I fall asleep I'm back there. I can't sleep. I can't ever sleep again.", you whimpered, holding onto him for dear life.

"Shh, let's try this again.", Loki said and climbed into your bed behind you.

"No, no. You can't always lay there with me as soon as I want to sleep. That's an imposition."

"Stop that rambling now and sleep.", he demanded.

"Are you sure?" You turned to look into his face, holding a soft expression, green-blue eyes halfway closed.

"Believe me, I won't get bored. Now sleep.", he assured you with a husky voice that sent shivers all over your skin.

He shuffled a little closer and put one arm around you, lightly holding onto one of your wrists because he didn't know where to put that hand else. Soon you could fall asleep again, no nightmares disturbing your rest.

The days passed by, turned into weeks and you slowly started to feel more human again. Everyone was just lovely to you, which made everything much easier. You shared beautiful childhood memories and inside jokes with your uncle, you finally met Pepper, Sam and Rhodey as your uncle threw a small party to celebrate that your cuts were completely healed (he insisted to do so). Loki was so ambitious to make you feel better. You had very interesting exchanges on God and the world, he went on walks with you and every time you went to bed he followed you faithfully and you shared the bed. It was harder and harder for you to deny what you felt, you brushed it aside as a natural consequence of being close to someone. Nevertheless, you had to admit you were enjoying every intimate moment you two had, may it be in conversation or tangency. It helped you to feel less twitchy. Tony even organized you some of the coolest gloves you could imagine, they looked like biker gloves but from light linen instead of leather so you wouldn't turn too hot inside them, and just the fingertips were left open, so you wouldn’t lose your haptic. In that way you could touch hands without an unwanted exchange of feelings. Bit by bit you felt more “normal” again.

One evening you and Loki watched a movie together while the others had to go on a mission. Tony had given you his much too tight hug as always as the left and said this one would take a few days, you should not worry. It was easier said than done.

"You were right, the book is much better." Loki ripped you out of your thoughts while grabbing into the popcorn bowl on your lap. His unbelievable long legs were stretched on the coffee table, one arm loosely behind your neck, the other shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

"Yeah, I know. But I like to watch it anyways. I'm a fan of the whole Star Wars EU and well, this is a part of it."

"EU?"

"Extended Universe.", you simply said, like there was no other explanation needed. You took the glove off your hand, the caramel popcorn always made it so sticky. You wiggled a little closer to Loki's side. He was just so tall, it always left you a bit in awe. It wasn’t easy for you to accept but being close to him was the only thing that kept you from turning anxious. He radiated some kind of peace and calmness you weren’t able to feel by yourself. And you adored his scent, this linen and leather fragrance made your senses go dizzy in the most pleasant way. Suddenly you had to think of how long it has been since your last kiss. It was like, literally ages. And you missed it. Really badly. Then all you could think of was kissing Loki. God, no, stop it already, stupid brain. You tried to push those thoughts away but they turned out to be super persistent. Hastily you grabbed into the popcorn bowl without looking and nabbed Loki's hand instead. It caught you so off guard that you couldn't even partly control your empathic powers. All your thrill and arousal was poured into Loki's mind, you couldn't pull away your hand fast enough. You pulled it to your chest and held it like it was broken, shrinking visibly and turning completely stiff.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to, I, uh, did you feel that?"

"Yes I did." You weren't looking at him (you couldn't) but you could hear in his words that he was smiling.

"Awww god, why? That's so embarrassing, I'm so sorry. I think I can never look at you again."

"That would be pure torture for me.", he said with a low voice, sending once again shivers down your spine.

"Don't do that." You demanded, laying your cold hands on your hot cheeks.

"Do what?"

"Speak like that. With your husky voice. It's not... helping."

"Maybe I don't want to help in that way." He touched your jaw line very gently before the confusion left you too puzzled and turned your head to face him. He looked you deep in the eyes, which just caused the aching inside you to heat up even more.

"What are you doing..."

"Shh."

His eyes pierced right into your soul as he moved slowly closer, now cupping your face with his big, warm hand. A silent sigh left your lips as you realized what was about to happen, you simply couldn’t restrain yourself anymore, and tilted your head. Your heart was beating so loud, your mind was all dizzy. What the hell am I doing? Stop it, stop already you dumb bitch! It’ll lead nowhere! You could taste his breath and it was just mouthwatering, ignoring your inner voice. He moved already so close but left the rest up to you and you wanted to go the last 10 % as the light was turned on. You jumped away a bit, cursing and thanking the troublemaker for disturbing you. You heard your uncle from the other side of the room.

"Y/N? Are you here? Oh good. Please, Loki, escort her to your rooms, I want you to be safe." Tony said very jittery.

"What is wrong, Tones?"

"We found him. The soldier from Hydra."

"Do... do you mean-" Your eyes widened while your pupils contracted.

"Yes. The soldier who killed the rest of our family."

Taglist: @it-jinxed-us, @humbledarkness, @lunawitch19, @redryderdesigns

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fiction #loki slow burn #slow burn #marvel #marvel fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fiction #loki fan fiction #fanfic simple #ptsd #nessa maurice

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straightouttaneptune · 5 years ago

Text

Goodbye

Pairing: Thor x reader

Warning: Angst, Sizzling angst. Character death. Avengers: Endgame. (That movie alone is a warning). My baby Thor crying...

Summary: As a member of the original 7, you saved everyone in Endgame. Natasha and Tony are still alive and they get to have their happy endings, but can Thor?

A/N: Hey! I found this sitting in my drafts, so thought I'd share the angst while writing the requested fics. Hope you like it, it's my first angst with Thor... Italics are memories/past, and normal text is the present.

———————————————————————

He knew. He knew that mortals had their lives limited. He knew that their bones were as fragile as glass. There weren't a lot of situations where they'd survive after just one stab of a dagger.

That you'd pass away much earlier than he would.

But seeing you fight side by side with the Avengers, with him, he must've deceived himself, because you no longer inhaled or exhaled the oxygen in the atmosphere. Your soft eyelids were shut closed like a veil concealing your astonishingly beautiful irises. Your heart failed to beat any longer, your skin paled from the lack of blood. Your body laid limp yet weightless on the white satin, holding a bouquet of baby blue peonies close to your chest.

"My dove, you said these were your favorite?" Thor pointed at the bucket full of blue peonies. You were visiting a local flower shop with your love, thinking it would be nice to light up the compound with them.

"Indeed they are." You smiled at the peonies, mentally tracing the outline of each petal. Thor was entranced, wordlessly observing you and the light that seems to radiate off of you.

"May I ask why?" Thor secured his hand behind your back. You leaned into his touch, moving your gaze up at him.

"They remind me of you."

He watched with hooded eyes as Tony Stark closed the polished wooden casket, embellished with golden designs. Fit for a queen. He couldn't take his eyes off of you, even after they lowered you down into the Earth.

Everyone in the entire world insisted on burying you into some sort of landmark, seeing as you died a hero. But it has always been your wish to find peace under the green hills of the Avengers compound.

He could hear quiet sobbing from the rest of the team, even from Avengers like Natasha and Bucky, both trained not to show sentiments. Thor was in a state of denial, but a part of him knew that you weren't coming back. That part of him made tears flow out of his eyes like a never-ending waterfall.

The whole Avengers were there, from the 6 of the original 7 to everyone else that joined in as time progressed. And they were all here because of you. Thor didn't know whether to be proud or depressed. In fact, he didn't know what to do with himself now that you weren't there to pull his hand places.

When everyone left him in the pit of darkness, you stayed, holding up a flaming lamp that became his only light, bringing him back to life. Asgard had fallen, his family and his best friends were all gone, but he had you.

But you weren't here anymore. Your flame has met its end.

"I am... inevitable."

You stared right at the mad man's eyes, gritting your teeth. The wind pushed away locks of hair that fell out of your ponytail, having Thanos clearly see the woman who was about to destroy him.

"Hm." You blew a puff out of your nose as you watched him snap his fingers just to be met with nothing. His confused expression didn’t last long, confusion turning into surprise when he looked over at you.

You raised your hand up, all of the infinity stoned placed into Tony's gauntlet that was strewn on the ground. He laid a few feet away from you unconscious. Everyone else was either being overpowered or unconscious, and you couldn't ask anyone else to do it anyways.

Energy coursed through your veins, briefly feeling like your arms might fall off. You grunted, feeling the whole extent of the powers in the stones.

Your eyes glimmered with determination, a content smile gracing your lips.

"Goodbye."

Your fingers snapped, and it was the end. Overbearing amount of power coursed through your merely-mortal body, making every system crash down in a split second. Millions of emotions ran through your mind. But you didn't feel hatred or feel like you were forced into doing this. For the first time, you really saved the world. You finally felt worthy of the title hero.

The first one to wake was Natasha a few feet away. “Oh, Y/N." She ran up to you, helping you rest against the concrete.

Your back crashed on the broken piece of concrete, legs barely helping you up. Your slightly blurred vision spotted Thor, running towards you and throwing away his Stormbreaker somewhere. The rest all piled later, staring at you in disbelief. Some were already crying.

"You-you did it, Y/N." You tried to console her, seeing the tears glossing her eyes. She took your hand in hers, pressing her lips up to your knuckles. She moves aside to let Thor talk to you, falling into Clint's arms as soon as she let go of you.

"My dove." Thor's callused hands felt nice on your hot cheeks, closing your eyes and leaning into it. "No, no. My love, please. Look at me." He cupped your cheeks as you opened your eyes lazily, feeling slightly buzzed like sleep was inviting you to it with open arms.

"I love you." You whispered out, barely able to stay conscious. But you'll fight it for as long as you could.

"I love you, oh, I love you, Y/N." Thor cradled your head, tears falling freely onto your hair. He repeated his words as if doing so would somehow help you.

You couldn't form any more words, but you could raise your hand up to his jawline, tracing them, feeling his beard prick your fingers and quietly thinking about how you'll probably never be able to do so again.

"I will meet you again in Valhalla, sweetheart.” He tried his best to smile, reassuring you that this wasn’t the end. “You're okay." He said to you, but more to himself.

He took your other hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing lightly as you slipped away. He shook violently as your head tilted, life leaving your eyes, looking away into nothingness. "No, no, no..."

Valkyrie placed her hand on Thor's shoulder that was still shaking vigorously. His head fell and he cried into your shoulder, his hand still clutching yours.

Not a word came out of anyone, just Thor repeating your name with thunder cracking in the fuming sky.

"Thor." He turned around slowly at the low voice, Valkyrie standing there in her tailored black suit. "The funeral's over. We're going to visit her memorial."

When Thor didn't bother moving, she walked over beside him and looked down at her grave with him. "She was an extraordinary woman."

"Guys! I made cookies!" Your sing-song voice echoed through the Avengers floor at Stark tower, immediately attracting the Earth's protectors to the kitchen.

"Y/N's cookies?!" Sam and Clint almost ran into the kitchen at the same time, but you'd say Sam was a tiny bit faster this time.

"They look delicious, my dove." Thor wrapped his arm around your middle from behind, making you giggle in surprise.

"Mm. Want one?" You beamed at him, holding up a chocolate chip cookie to his mouth. He smirked at you playfully before taking a bite, earning some whines from the other Avengers who were eager to eat your cookies.

"Okay, okay. I'll put it on the counter." As soon as you placed the cookies on the marble counter, they were gone in an instant.

"Oh no, you don't!"

"Try me, Legolas."

"Oh my god, you can't even digest the food you fucking toaster!"

"Many apologies, but Miss Y/N's cookies are far too delici-"

"Turn him off!"

"Drown him in rice."

Thor chuckled at the fiercest fighters on Earth fighting over his love's cookies childishly when he had a carton of them Y/N made especially for him where they couldn't see.

"You are extraordinary, my dove." Thor spun you around and pressed his lips to yours lovingly, wrapping you up in his affection. His hands traced the curve of your waist as he deepened the kiss, making everyone else scramble away from the kitchen.

"She was," Thor replied, his throat and nose gave off that burning sensation before thick drops of tears flowed down his cheeks again.

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shadowsnlace · 6 years ago

Note

Let's request something fun! Since you love medieval AU, how about HCs or a scenario for a Lady!Reader finding out that to secure certain borders and trade rights, she has been unconventionally betrothed to Lords Ukitake and Kyoraku to bind all three Houses together. How do you think that would go? (Personally, I'd ask how soon the wedding could be!)

Brilliant idea! I LOVE this and loved writing it! I can’t tell you how happy I was when I saw you in my ask box! ;) Grab a cuppa, get comfy, and get ready for nice jaunt back in time! Love you!

Note: This is set in a fantasy medieval land much like 13th century Britain. I did my best to try to capture the experience of a virgin bride. Almost all of the modern/conventional words we use to describe things are pretty much gone. (I had to break down and use some modern genital words. Hey, I gotta call them something!) I did that to keep the feel of the time period and try to give the experience of a lady of that time.

Glossary: wanton - (used as a noun) - a sexually unrestrained woman.

This got really long, so settle in. I couldn’t help it. I hope you all enjoy it!

“Alliance” - Shunsui Kyoraku and Jushiro Ukitake

A collective gasp filled the hall followed by the murmur of numerous nobles, courtiers, and servants.

“Scandalous!”

“Unheard of!”

“That poor woman!”

“How can her father do that to her?!”

All of the whispers washed over you as you stood alone in the center of the hall, facing your father. The announcement had been made that you were to wed not one, but two powerful men of the realm. Your ears were still ringing. Your vision swam with unshed tears. How could he humiliate you like this?

You felt the need to flee the hall, but found yourself rooted to the spot, your face hot with shame and anger. The wild thought of grabbing a knife from one of the tables and stabbing it into your father’s black heart was so tempting.

Suddenly, you felt warmth at your back. One presence then another joined you in the middle of the swirling storm of voices. Sir Shunsui Kyoraku and Sir Jushiro Ukitake, your betrothed, stepped around you. Both men placed themselves between you and your father – and they both looked angry.

You couldn’t believe how big they were. Dressed in varying shades of grey, both men were so handsome it nearly seemed impossible. Shoulders so broad, chests so deep, thighs so powerful…both were physically intimidating and yet, you didn’t feel afraid of them at all. In fact, you felt a bit a warm and a strange flutter in your stomach.

“We asked you to allow us to approach the lady in private, my lord.” Shunsui’s posture was defensive.

Your father waved a hand dismissively, “I do as I please, Lord Kyoraku.”

A muscle tightened in Shunsui’s jaw, “Then Sir Ukitake and I shall do as we please – we are taking the lady to Ugendo. We will wed her there in a fortnight.” He started to turn his back on your father, but stopped and looked back, “We will expect her dowry to be paid before then.”

Jushiro grinned, a flash of straight, white teeth giving him a menacing edge, “Fail to do so and we will be back here with our armies.”

You watched your father’s face turn beet-red. He had been crowing so loudly about his cleverness in getting two powerful alliances for the price of one virgin. Now, it seemed that your future husbands were not very fond of your father at all. He sputtered, “If you take her, you take only her. Everything she owns stays here!” Another gasp ran through the room.

All the things you’d saved for years in your hope chest….your clothes….your books….your needlework…. your mementos gathered over the years, all of them memories of your late mother and the few friends you’d had in your youth.

You’d had enough. “Fine!” Your voice cracked in the hall like a whip. You grabbed the cloth of your dress and started ripping it off. Shunsui and Jushiro’s eyes went wide. Both men closed in to shield you as you stripped yourself bare. Jushiro pulled off his cloak, wrapped it around you, wrapped you right into his side. He started to lead you out of the hall, but you wiggled away. You kicked off your shoes, picked them up, and threw them one at a time at your father as a frustrated yell bubbled up your throat.

Before you could start cursing your father, Shunsui swept you up against his thick chest. “Allow me, my lady.” You looked up to find grey eyes echoing the smile on his lips. “I cannot allow such lovely feet to touch the ground.” His warmth seemed to flow into you and you fought back the urge to cuddle deeper into his embrace. You looked over to see Jushiro level one last cold look at your father before he turned and walked out of the hall next to Shunsui.

—- 2 Weeks Later —-

Ugendo: Perhaps the most beautiful castle in all the realm. You had heard of the seaside castle that seemed to sparkle in the sun. You’d thought it was all just the fanciful embellishments of bards. The reality was so much more than words could describe. Much like it’s lord, the Ukitake lands and castle were magnificent. Overlooking the sea, Ugendo shimmered like tiny jewels had been set into the stones. It was breathtaking, also like it’s lord.

It had taken a week of travel to reach Ugendo. Upon leaving your father’s castle, Shunsui and Jushiro took you to the marketplace. They had bought you clothes, shoes, jewelry (they both insisted), a horse, and most dear to you – two new books that you hadn’t read before.

The trip had been very pleasant. During the day, both men would ride next to you and keep you engaged in conversation. You quickly deduced that they knew much more about you than you knew about them. Their reputations were well known. They were quite the favorites when it came to court gossip. Sir Kyoraku’s amorous exploits were nearly as legendary as his skill on the battlefield. Sir Ukitake was more of a mystery. Beyond his prowess as warrior and his manner as a noble, the whispers at court were mostly mixed speculation as to his love life.

Both men were more than happy to dispel rumors and give you an honest look into exactly who they were. By the time you reached Ugendo you were well on your way to being in love with them both.

The next week at Ugendo was a whirlwind of activity. Between wedding plans, guests arriving, and Shunsui and Jushiro spiriting you away to private meals or walks in the garden or along the shore, you were beginning to get a taste of what life with these men would be like. You’d also gotten a taste of what physical delights awaited you. Shunsui had given you a passionate kiss in the moonlight while he walked the gardens with you. Jushiro had also kissed you that night while you’d cuddled with him in a private solar near your room. Both experiences had left you feeling hot, shaky, and aching in places you didn’t know could ache like that. If they effected you like that from just kissing, what was your wedding night going to be like?

——-

The gathering for your wedding was staggering. The sea of faces that watched you walk the aisle toward the priest and your waiting husbands-to-be all faded into a blur. Your eyes were trained on Shunsui and Jushiro, both looked so handsome in their wedding finery you hardly knew which one to stare at. Once you reached the end of the aisle, they flanked you. Jushiro held up his left hand, you placed your left hand on top of it, and Shunsui placed his left hand on top of yours. As the priest spoke, all you could think of was your tiny hand, warm and safe between theirs. You knew in that moment that you loved them, truly and completely.

Jushiro nudged you. You looked up with a start. The priest looked expectant. You swore you heard Jushiro chuckle.

Shunsui’s whisper was soft and full of mirth, “This is the part where you say, ‘I do.’”

Your voice rang out without any hesitation or quaver, “Yes! I do! I most certainly do!”

Laughter rippled around you but you only heard Shunsui and Jushiro’s chuckles.

The priest placed a length of white silk around your combined wrists and tied it in a loose knot. He said a prayer over your hands then blessed your union. Gold rings, engraved with the crests of your three houses, were placed on the ring-finger of all three left hands. And then, two sets of lips were kissing you, each pressing to a corner of your lips. You wanted to toss your arms around them in turn and kiss them passionately like they’d taught you, but for propriety you kept yourself in check.

Seated between your husbands – Wow, your husbands! You ate very little at the celebration feast. Your stomach was a jumble of nerves and your feet were shifting under your chair.

Jushiro leaned in, dropped a light kiss on your right shoulder, “You should eat, my love.” His green eyes were twinkling with something you couldn’t put a name to but knew it wasn’t simply amusement, “You’ll need the energy later.”

You could feel a blush warm your cheeks and neck. Shunsui’s hand was reassuring on your back, “He’s right, petal, once you’ve eaten we can move on to more pleasant pursuits.” You thought he meant dancing – his eyes said different, as did the low rumble in his chest that you could only compare to a purr. Jushiro’s huff of breath and chuckle confirmed that they were clearly speaking of something you couldn’t quite understand – yet.

One dance. All you got was one dance with your husbands. They took turns moving through the steps with you. When the music stopped to allow the dancers to re-position for the next song, Jushiro took your hand and headed for the exit. Shunsui swept a bow to the wedding guests, “We thank you all for joining us for this joyous event. But, now it is time for us to take our leave.” He didn’t wait around to respond to the ribald jests that followed him out of the hall and up the stairs to the master apartment.

When Shunsui caught up to you and Jushiro, you were pushed against the wall a few feet from the door to the master apartment. Jushiro’s mouth was slanting over yours in a heated exchange, his body pressed against yours, his hands in your hair. Shunsui’s laugh was playful, “Getting started without me, eh?”

Jushiro sealed the kiss but didn’t take his eyes from yours, “How can I resist such beauty?” His thumb passed lightly over your bottom lip, “Truly, these lips were made for kissing.”

The next moments were a flurry of movement. Shunsui swept you up into his arms and carried you into the master apartment. Jushiro was close behind to close the door and lock it. He wanted no interruptions.

Shunsui carried you all the way into the bedroom, setting you by the fireplace so you’d be warm. His hands framed your face as his mouth captured yours in a kiss that made you feel hotter than any fireplace ever could. Your head began to swim a bit. Then, Jushiro was behind you, his fingers working to free you from the lacing that was holding your dress together at the back. You felt the fabric loosen. Shunsui pulled back from you as Jushiro lifted the dress and your shift over your head.

The second you were clear from your clothes, Shunsui was back. His hands roamed your bare skin, a low growl escaping as he watched where he touched you. “Perfect.” One hand skimmed over your shoulder, down your arm, to your hand. He lifted it to his lips, kissed your palm, ran his tongue over it then he grinned when you gasped. He pulled you close, gray eyes shining in the firelight with something raw and animalistic. Your whole body shuddered. His look instantly became concerned, “Are you afraid, wife?”

You swallowed hard…ye gods, your throat was so dry! “N – No. I’m not afraid.” You reached for his face, let the bristle of his beard tickle your hand, “I will never be afraid of you or Jushiro.”

He smiled down at you, dropped a soft kiss on your lips. He gently turned you around to face Jushiro.

The sight made your knees wobble. Jushiro stood completely naked in the firelight. And, he had let his hair down. All that glorious white, silky hair was cascading around him like a heavenly aura. Your eyes followed the lines and shadows of his muscles…down….down….By all that’s holy!

“That’s not going to fit.” You had spoken your stray thought out loud. Shunsui’s laughter made you realize it.

Jushiro was snickering. He reached for you, pulled you close until his skin met yours, “Trust me, sweetheart, we will fit together perfectly.”

He was so warm. Every place he touched you left a prickly sensation on your skin. His hand moved up your ribcage to cup a breast as his head dipped to allow him to lick your nipple. “Oh!” Your body swayed in his grasp, your back arched to give him better access. A soft hum of approval, then his mouth covered your nipple and he sucked. Your whole body bucked as a squeal of surprise escaped. It feels so good….His chuckle against your sensitive peak made your legs shake. Your fingers sank into his hair, holding him to you, needing to touch him. He lifted his lips to yours, tongue delving deep to sweep you even further into a state of mounting heat.

He stepped back and sat down in the big chair by the fireplace. You were guided into his lap, but turned away, back to face Shunsui.

Shunsui stood in all his bared glory, looking like a god. He was a bit larger than Jushiro, but not by much. The hard planes of muscle covered his body like a suit of armor under his flesh. The dark hair on his chest fascinated you. You wondered how it would feel when he pressed his body against yours. Would it be soft or coarse? Would it feel much different from Jushiro’s skin?

Then your eyes were drawn to the erection that stood proud. Your eyes went round as your mouth fell open. Seeing your expression, Shunsui smiled, “Don’t worry, we’ll fit, you’ll see.” His eyes met Jushiro’s over your shoulder.

Jushiro moved you to lean back against his chest. You were very aware of his hard, hot erection nestled against your lower back. You had barely registered the thought when his hands reached under your thighs and lifted them open. Your sex was completely open and exposed. A protest was mounting on your lips until you saw the hunger in Shunsui’s gaze as it settled there.

One step. Then he was on his knees, his lips and hands grazing the back of your thighs. You tried to squirm but couldn’t in Jushiro’s grip. You watched with unbridled curiosity as Shunsui dragged his tongue over your swollen lips all the way up to a place that ripped the moan right from your throat.

Jushiro let go of your legs, allowing them to settle on Shunsui’s wide shoulders. His hands moved up to cup your breasts, thumbs lightly stroking over your nipples in careful movements to match what Shunsui’s mouth was doing. You moaned again. Your head fell back onto his shoulder. Jushiro’s lips skimmed over your ear, his breath sending a tickling wave down your back. Combined with Shunsui’s lips moving between your legs, the sensations were making your body feel tight and restless.

You squirmed. Shunsui growled. His hands held your hips, making you be still while keeping you right where he wanted you. His tongue was lapping at that wonderfully sensitive place, his lips closing over it to suck. His eyes lifted to yours and he winked at you. You couldn’t do more than just stare and pant, yet you managed a quick smile. Your hands were on the arms of the chair, fingers clawing at the fabric.

You were burning from the inside out. Jushiro’s lips on your neck, his hands on your breasts. Shunsui’s mouth devouring you like a starving man, his hands moving on your hips and lower stomach. Something was growing in you, threatening to take over.

Then, it happened…a wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your head flung back against Jushiro’s shoulder as screams of ecstasy erupted from your throat. Colors of every hue danced behind your eyelids. You had no concept of anything except the feeling of being swept away.

Shunsui and Jushiro were drinking in your cries of pleasure, their touches carrying you through peak after peak until you slumped – spent, euphoric, tremors running from your shoulders to you your knees.

The feeling of soft blankets. The weight of a male body, honed from decades of training and combat, was a welcome sensation. You opened your eyes to find Jushiro settling over you. His hair spilled around you, curtaining you in a private world where his kiss stirred the embers in your belly back to life. You felt something nudge the apex of your thighs. It was time. This was the moment you had feared and secretly longed for. The mystery would be solved.

One hand guided his engorged member while the other held him propped over you. “Open for me, sweet wife.” You gave him a loving smile and spread your legs, pulling your knees up like he’d done for Shunsui. His eyes never left yours as he pushed forward slowly.

Your body was more than ready for Jushiro, but he met with a slight resistance. An easy, gentle roll of his hips and it felt like unused muscles stretching for the first time. Was this supposed to be the pain you’d been warned about? It was such a small ache, but one that only seemed to fill you with longing. Slow, inch by inch, he just kept sinking into you. Finally, he stopped, seated deep. An audible groan escaped his lips and you wondered if perhaps you’d hurt him. His forehead pressed to yours as a shiver ran through him. “Mmm, see,” his voice was thick, “we fit together perfectly.” He kissed you, tongue dipping in, catching the edge of your upper lip. “Are you all right?”

Your hands slid up his back, pulling his body toward yours in an effort to communicate your need without words. “Yes, love, I’m better than all right.” Hips shifting impatiently, your voice came out a bit breathy, “I – I need –” Then he moved and your words were stolen away on the gasp that left your lips. The slide of him inside you felt unlike anything you could imagine. The pleasure, the sweet ache…oh, please, don’t stop.

Jushiro’s smile was playful, “Oh, I know precisely what you need.” Slow and steady, his hips were moving, rolling, his hard length sending tendrils of pleasure racing through you. Each movement was better than the last until you didn’t think you could take anymore.

On and on he kept going, speeding up then slowing down. Kisses that stole your wits gave you a feeling of being completely connected to him. He shifted to trail kisses down your neck until he reached your breasts. His mouth was hungry on them, licking, sucking, groaning against your flesh. The added sensations drove you higher into a frenzy that burned white hot at the base of your spine.

That restless feeling was building again, coiling inside you, beating at your brain. You knew what was coming and began to rock back against Jushiro’s thrusts in an effort to reach it. His lips were a mere inch from yours, both of you locked together so close, your pants fanning each other’s faces.

Then you were crying out, the sounds uncontrollable and primal. Jushiro’s thrusts were deep and hard, pushing you beyond your breaking point. You could feel your body fluttering, clenching, and heard his guttural cry against your neck. His body went completely stiff beneath your hands and you felt a shudder run through him.

You were floating, not quite aware of anything until you felt something cool and wet between your legs. You cracked open your eyes to find Jushiro cleaning you with a damp cloth. He looked happy, but a bit concerned, “Are you sore?”

You shook your head, “No, not at all.” You sat up to catch his lips in a sweet kiss.

You looked over to find Shunsui watching you. He was relaxed against a pile of pillows, a goblet in his hand, and looking like the most sinful temptation in all the realm. He quirked a brow, “Are you sure you’re all right?” When you nodded and smiled, he held his hand out to you. The moment you put your hand in his, he pulled you into his lap, moving you so that you straddled his thighs. His hard length was trapped between your bellies. He gave you a drink from his goblet. The spiced wine was soothing to your dry mouth. Once you’d emptied the goblet, you set it aside on the small bedside table and returned your focus to him.

You wrapped your arms around Shunsui, eager for his kiss, but more eager to press your body against his. His chest hair was soft and just a bit coarse, giving you a wonderful prickle against your skin, especially your nipples. You couldn’t hold back a mewl of need as you rubbed yourself against him, your tongue tangling with his. He nipped at your jaw, teeth grazing on his way to your neck. His lips, tongue, and teeth stirred your desire making you want more.

Shunsui’s chuckle was a rumble at your throat as one hand pressed your chest to his while the other moved down to cup and squeeze your butt. His fingers crept between your legs, rubbing your swollen lips and spreading the dampness that was gathering there. You moaned, your hands curling into the long locks of his hair that had tumbled over his shoulders.. He shifted a bit, “Push up just a bit, petal.”

You pushed up onto your knees, unsure of his request, but trusting him. You looked down and watched as he guided his erection between your legs. He rubbed it back and forth between your nether lips, making you shiver in anticipation. Then, he stopped, one hand pressing on your hip. You took the hint and sank down. Your head fell back on a loud groan as your body welcomed him inside. Shunsui let out a strangled moan, “By the gods, you feel so good!”

A thrill shot through you – you were giving him pleasure! Suddenly, you felt powerful. Two legendary knights of the realm were your husbands. And, the most notorious lover in all the land was currently underneath you, completely at your mercy, and if the look on his face were any indication, he was really enjoying it.

You squirmed, unsure of how to move. Shunsui hissed, grabbed your hips, and rocked you slowly. You quickly fell into the rhythm, unable to hold back the gasps and moans as he stretched you. So deep, so hard, so wonderful…

His hands wandered. He gently kneaded your breasts, the rough pads of his thumbs sending bolts of heat through you every time he dragged them over your sensitive peaks.

Your hands looked so small compared to the wide planes of his chest. A thought skittered through your mind – if it felt good for him to touch your nipples, would he like that too? You leaned over and swept your tongue over his nipple. The reward was instant. He gasped in shock, hands clenching your thighs. A chuckle followed, “Little minx, you learn fast.”

You looked up at him and gave him a wink. Shunsui laughed, rich and deep, but it choked off when you settled your lips on the little bead of flesh under your tongue and sucked. His hands moved to your butt – squeezing, grinding you onto him as he thrust up. You groaned. The vibration pulled a matching groan from him.

Your thoughts of power were quickly chased away as Shunsui showed you just how powerful he was. You may have been on top, but he was the one driving you the edge of madness. Muscles were bunching under you, lifting you, pulling you back down. Every stroke of him inside you was pure magic.

Then he tilted you just a bit and new nerves sprang to life. You cried out. One hand moved to that little bud, that place you now knew would send you straight into bliss-filled oblivion. His thumb circled. “Oooooh!” You bucked in his grasp. He grinned up at you and kept stroking. Your eyes cinched shut as the world seemed to fall away on a tide of ecstasy.

You were rocking hard, wails of rapture filling the room. Shunsui grunted, sat up, wrapped his arms around you tight as if he was holding on to keep you from flying away. You could feel yourself clenching around him. His face was pressed to your chest, panting hard, thrusting hard. Then, he moaned loud and long, his body riding the last pulses of his release.

Awareness was fleeting. You felt Shunsui lay you down. The cool wetness returned. You couldn’t open your eyes to find out who was cleaning you, it seemed to be too much effort. The world seemed softer, lighter, somehow much more wonderful than it had been before.

Warmth surrounded you. Shunsui had curled up to your back, one arm tucked under the pillow you shared, the other draped lazily over your waist. Jushiro’s legs tangled with yours, as he settled himself comfortably against you. He kissed your lips, lingering, enjoying the feel of that simple contact. Shunsui nuzzled his face into the curve of your neck.

Jushiro looked into your eyes as one finger traced your face, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear, “Are you happy, my love?”

You smiled, “Deliriously happy.” You let your fingers trail over the contours of his chest to his abs, drifting lower. “I do believe you two have unleashed quite the wanton.” He sucked in a breath when your hand stroked his half-hard manhood as your teeth grazed his neck. You were feeling bold. You wanted them again, wanted them both with a hunger that seemed to know no bounds. Will I ever get enough of them? The answer was an immediate echo: Never.

Shunsui was snickering, “Well, Jushiro, I don’t think we’re going to be getting any sleep tonight.”

#Bleach #Bleach scenario #Shunsui Kyoraku #Jushiro Ukitake #Poly relationship with female s/o #Medieval AU #Bleach imagines

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semblanche · 5 years ago

Text

and curiosity clipped his wings - ch 3

featuring two brothers, one uncomfortable conversation, and a miracle.

status: first draft, edited

(ask to be added/removed from my tag list!)

` ` `

Raphael offers to pick me up, but I refuse.

I'm quite interested in the experience of taking a taxi, I tell him. Or, as the people here like to call it, a 'cab.'

He tells me not to be an idiot and that he'll be there in ten minutes.

The club seems duller by day. People totter out in hordes, leaning against each other for support and throwing up into flower pots until the bouncer ushers them outside. The bouncer is a tall dark man named Tim. I think I may have kissed him.

I help Tim clean up a bit until Raphael arrives. He smiles and calls me a good egg. I ask him if there's such a thing as a bad egg, and he tilts his head towards the hordes of no longer drunk girls holding each others hair up as they vomit in the corner. I recognize a few of them by face. One of them is wearing my coat.

"Bad eggs," he says, and his muscles ripple as he picks up the pieces of what I think used to be a table. "They ain't ever gonna pay for the damage they caused. Daddy's got them covered."

I tell him I think it's nice to see family supporting each other. He rolls his eyes, but doesn't answer. We work in silence until my phone buzzes and I know Raphael is here.

"Thanks for your help, man," Tim says as I excuse myself. “If you ever come back - drinks' on me."

My stomach churns at the thought of any more alcohol, but his dimples twitch when he smiles at me, so I accept and thank him.

It's cold outside, colder than I'd thought. The wind moves like a thief, creeping under my shirt and blowing goosebumps onto my skin. I don't move. It's a new feeling to me, being cold. I think I like it.

I see Raphael almost immediately. He's the only one driving a coach instead of a car. He's sitting on top of it awkwardly, arms crossed over his blue checkered jacket and with a lime green hat placed backwards on his head. He's light skinned today, and possibly bald - it's hard to tell under the hat. His face doesn't change when he sees me.

"Do people not have carriages anymore?" he asks. I look around at all the grey parked cars, and shake my head. Raphael’s long forgotten what it means for times to change.

"But it does make yours more unique.”

He sighs, and taps his fingers against his leg. I count six. Raphael's long forgotten what it means to seem human.

"Get in," he says, and I do. "And why are you shivering?"

"It's cold," I say shortly. The inside of the coach is just as chilly as the outside of it, and with a smell like a couch left in the rain to dry. There's a long, deep crack that splits the window in two. I run my finger across it, and a piece of my skin gets caught. I bleed.

"Cold," Raphael muses at the front of the coach. "He's cold. Where's your coat, Hector?"

I tell him the truth. I think I can lie now, no bonds of Heaven keeping my tongue in check, but I can't bring myself to do so yet. It feels like a step only a coward would take.

Raphael's silence is all I need to know he doesn't believe me.

I sink into my seat. It feels like no one has sat in it in centuries. On my finger, red drops are beginning to swell.

"You're acting like a child," Raphael finally says. "You know that?"

I suck on my finger. "I don't think children are allowed in clubs."

"Hector."

"Or thrown out of their homes."

"Hector."

I fall silent. My heartbeat sounds all too loud in my ears - a stone thudding against my chest. Still, I listen to it for a moment. Of all the things I've gained in my fall, a heartbeat is by far my favorite. It's like a song meant for my ears and my ears alone.

"I'm sorry.”

And what constitutes a lie, really? Does it have to be blatant fiction in place of fact? Or can it creep up on me slowly, words that are true on their own but hold no meaning when I speak them? Will humanity make me a liar when I'm not looking?

The thought scares me. I fall silent again, and hope my words die with me.

Raphael is asking me something. I tune it out, and he soon gives up. The carriage lurches to a start, and with it, my thoughts.

"Do you even know this boy?" Raphael finally asks. I shrug and rub at my finger. It's still bleeding a bit. I wonder if blood is supposed to be this red.

"In a sense."

"What sense?"

I grin. "A biblical one."

Raphael groans. He's not my brother anymore, not technically, but I know him well - our bond goes deeper than feathers and blood. And I know he's disgusted by such talk.

He doesn't say anything for a bit, and I look out the window. We're going fast, faster than we should be. Faster than I think coaches are supposed to go. I warn Raphael, but he ignores me. Our speed continues to build, like building blocks being stacked on top of each other to form a teetering tower, and next thing I know we're flying, Raphael recklessly weaving us through cars and bikes and motorcycles - I hear a scream, and wonder if we hit someone, but then realise my throat is trembling and the scream is just my own.

We keep going like this until our surroundings are a blur and my skin is peeling off like wax. We keep going like this until the stone in my chest that is my heartbeat explodes and the carriage lurches to a halt and Raphael tells me we're here.

I can't breathe.

Raphael gets off and opens the door for me. He has seven fingers now. Although that might just be me being too dizzy to count right.

“Get out,” he says, and I do. The ground swims under my feet. I've never liked swimming. “Have you already forgotten what miracles feel like?”

“Miracles depend on the person,” I say. My stomach turns itself inside out with each word I speak, and I pause, letting it settle. “I forgot what yours felt like.”

He smiles. He shines. “I think you mean depend on the angel.”

“Whatever,” I say. I heard a girl say it to her mother drunkenly on the phone once. It calms the bile I feel rising to my lips.

Raphael shrugs, and with a leap too graceful to be human returns to his seat on the coach. The horse harnessed in front of him looks the way I feel. Bones line her skin like coat hangers.

“Please let me know if you need anything else,” Raphael tells me. “Don't be too stubborn to reach out.”

“You called me a child.”

“Because you were being stubborn by not contacting me. You're really only proving my point.”

He lifts a hand, and the horse breaks into a slow, strenuous trot. Her hooves clop against the unevenly paved road like cups. I still feel a little sick watching them go.

“Good luck,” Raphael says as the horse pulls him and his outdated vehicle away. “I trust you know what you're doing.”

I wordlessly nod.

I want him to know I hear the warning in his words, no matter how well he lines it - that he trusts I know what I'm doing. If anything goes wrong with my plan, I haven't just let him down. I've lost his trust.

I want him to know I don't think I like how he's treating me, like I just tripped and lost my wings and should be pitied and helped along.

I want him to know that I'm a thousand years old, not a hundred, and I can take care of myself. I want him to know that at the end of the day, and at the start of eternity, I know I'll be just fine.

But by now he's too far, and really? I'm not sure if that last one is true.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #religion #fallen angels #original writing #faithcore #urban fantasy #lgbt fantasy #ya fantasy #and curiosity clipped his wings #hector #archangel raphael #she writes #and in other news: ya girl is alive and killing it!#whew this took a while to post #sorry about that #summer should not be kicking my ass yet here we are

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wintrcaptn · 6 years ago

Text

Breathless Ch2. | Jensen Ackles

Summary : After leaving your phone at the convention, the tiny little mistake ends up changing your life forever.

A/N : there’s 16 parts in this series but I might add onto it. Who knows! Please don’t be afraid to leave feedback! The more the merrier!

Chapter One

"Ok let me get this straight." Y/F/N muttered. "You're telling me that the person who has your phone is Jensen? THE JENSEN ACKLES?!" Her voice grew louder and you could feel everyone's eyes on you.

You bit the inside of your cheek, remembering the way his eyes gazed into yours. And who would've thought that coming tonight, you would be in this situation.

"Yes. He's meeting me out here." You exhaled, crossing your arms over your chest.

You could feel your heart pounding profusely as the time was ticking closer. In just a few minutes, Jensen Ackles would be right there with you.

"This is crazy! Oh my god I'm shaking for you!" She cackled throwing her arms in the air.

You chuckled along, shaking your head. "I'm nervous enough!" You whispered loudly.

She locked her arm with yours and squealed a little bit longer.

If only she could hear your thoughts. Knowing that deep down you were screaming.

Behind you, there was a small sigh along with the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Y/F/N snapped her head back, almost pulling you both down.

"Hi! Hey! I mean hello." She said, stumbling over her own words.

Jensens lips curved up and let out a soft laugh. "Hi-" he paused eyeing her then to you.

"Oh I'm Y/F/N." She muttered throwing her hand out to him.

"Hi Y/F/N. Nice to meet you." He smirked. He turned to you, locking his gaze with yours. You could feel the heat begin to escape your body and your stomach flutter as he batted his eyes at you.

Your friend looked at you, hoping you'd say something, anything. But nothing came out.

She elbowed your side, snapping you out of your trance.

"Uh sorry. M-my name is Y/N." You flashed an innocent smile.

His lips curved up, into the smile you grew to love over the years. "That's a beautiful name." He whispered.

"We better go, the guys are waiting." Cliff stated.

Jensen nodded. "Yea, ok." He muttered. "But before I go, I think this belongs to you." He pulled the phone out from his pocket, and handed it to you.

Your hand grazed over his, causing a shiver to ripple down your body.

"T-thank you." You hesitated, never removing your gaze off his emerald green eyes.

You both stood quietly, with giant grins plastered onto your faces, falling deeply into each other, without realizing it.

"Hey, Jensen. Sorry man, but we have to go." Cliff exclaimed.

"Hey, why don't you girls come join us? The nights still young and it'd be fun." He asked, biting on his lower lip.

"Hell yea!" Y/F/N yelped, eager to even be in his presence.

Jensen nodded and motioned for you to lead the way. Holding the door open for you.

He was a true gentleman, and it melted your heart even more.

Not noticing, but Jensen watched you as you walked pass him and into the bar. His eyes averting from the back of your head to your back, down to your ass, and nodded approvingly.

He was in awe and couldn't believe someone as beautiful as you would ever give him the time of day. But he knew he wanted to get to know you, since the convention, and seeing you for the first time, he was hooked. You were like a siren luring him in, he couldn't break the spell he was under.

"Hey, better wipe your mouth, looks like your drooling." Cliff teased. Laughing to himself.

Jensen rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. "Shut up." He groaned.

-------

(A couple hours later)

A few drinks in, and you could feel your lips start to tingle and your mind begin to haze.

Hearing some great stories from set, and getting to know the guys, you felt at ease. Comfortable as if you have known these guys for a while.

"You know, this guy looks all tough but he's actually a big teddy bear." Jared cackled patting Jensen on the back.

"Oh yea, he's such a softy. It's adorable." Richard added.

You and your friend sat, giggling as the boys continued to pick on Jensen. You watched as he hid behind his hand, laughing and blushing, it was the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Through out the night, you could feel yourself grow more attracted to him. He was so much more than good looks and it was hard for you to ignore.

Y/F/N made her way to Jared, her cheeks were flushed and she was drunk from all the drinks. She and Jared cracked jokes and talked about movies and music the entire night.

"Having fun?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah. You guys are crazy." You cackled.

He chuckled along with you, slowly sliding closer to you. His heart beating immensely fast, feeling nervous.

"I'm glad you think that. I was scared they might scare you off." He flashed a smirk.

"Not at all. You're amazing." You exhaled. "I mean you all are."

His lips curved and he flashed his teeth.

"You're pretty great yourself." He muttered.

Your stomach fluttered as the blood rushed up to your cheeks, forcing the heat to radiate off your body. Causing you to look away, hoping he didn't notice you fluster.

He was mesmerized. He couldn't believe just how beautiful you are. From your eyes, to your lips. He was drawn to every inch of you. Especially to your laugh. It was like music to his ears.

If he could, he would sit there all night just to hear you laugh.

"Want to go outside for a bit? It's kind of hot in here." He muttered.

The words made your heart skip a beat. Jensen Ackles wanted to hang out with you alone, outside!

Your mind was swirling with different emotions. Almost light headed from it all.

"S-sure." You finally let out.

Jensen began to walk toward the door, as you walked over to your best friend.

"I'm going to be outside if you need me ok?" You said. She looked at Jensen, then back at you, eyes growing wide as her mouth dropped.

"Go! Have fun. I'll be fine." She pulled you in for a quick hug. "Good luck." She whispered.

You made your way to Jensen and followed him to the sidewalk. The cold air hit your face immediately, like a wave crashing into the sand. It was refreshing.

There you two were, alone. Away from the crowd. The way the light hit his face, exposed his freckles. He was beautiful.

He locked his gaze with yours, biting his lower lip as it slightly curved up.

"W-what?" You exhaled. Shivering as the breeze forced chills to cover you completely.

"You're beautiful." He stated. Never taking his eyes off you.

Those words made your stomach flutter even more. Creating you to feel special from his sweet remarks.

You couldn't help but notice how full and luscious his lips were. You wanted nothing more than to taste them. To feel him on you.

Jensen felt the same way. Trying to work up the nerve to just take you in his arms and kiss you right there and then.

Your breathing was light and slow, and slowly both your bodies were inching closer.

He looked into your eyes, noticing the color for the first time in a new perspective. He was intrigued by you. And he wasn't quite sure why.

"I-" he paused, swallowing hard as he glanced at your soft lips then back up to your eyes. "I'd like to kiss you"

Those words echoed in your head and somehow, you lost your breath.

He never noticed the way your eyes would crinkle when you grew bashful and smiled down at your feet. He knew that was the smile he wanted to see for the rest of his life. He was hypnotized. And somehow, he couldn't snap out of it.

"I would love that." You whispered.

It was like having tunnel vision, only able to see him. Everything else around him was blurred. You could hear the sound of your heart pounding in your ears and the scent of beer mixed with the natural air.

You were just inches away from his face. His mouth watered for you, excited to finally taste you.

As you felt anxious. Palms were sweaty and your stomach was churning.

Jensen leaned in, just about to press his lips to yours until....

"Hey Jensen!" Jared hiccuped, calling out for him.

You both jolted and took a step back away from each other.

"Over here." He yelped.

Jared walked over to you guys, almost tripping over his own feet.

"Okay buddy. You good?" Jensen chuckled, pulling him up.

"Yea I'm great. We need you for karaoke!" He yelled, louder than he needed.

Jensen met your eyes, wishing Jared wasn't there, ruining the moment.

And as much as you would love to kiss him, you knew it would be best to just go back inside.

"That sounds fun!" You smiled.

"Great. Let's go before Rich and Rob take the mic." He spewed out.

You followed the boys into the bar, watching your best friend sing with Misha on stage. She was happy and so comfortable, you couldn't help but smile.

She noticed you and waved. Jumping down and running to you.

Her arms wrapped around your neck, and she pulled you in.

"Tonight is perfect!" She muttered into your ear.

"I'm glad you're having fun." You chuckled.

Returning back to the stage, you ushered for another drink.

"Rain check?" Jensen whispered, interrupting your thoughts.

The bartender poured a shot of vodka for you. Taking it back, swiftly, you shook your head, pushing all your nerves aside.

Who knows when this will happen again. This could be the only chance you had to kiss him, and you didn't want to let that slip away. Propping on to your feet, you cupped his face and crashed your lips to his.

Both your hearts were racing as your tongues danced along each other. He tasted of something sweet, and his lips were extremely soft and warm. It brought you to a high. You were both so deep into the kiss, forgetting everyone around you. Feeling as though you were alone in the bar and everyone had disappeared.

One of your favorite songs from Sam Smith, echoed in the air.

Jensen gripped on to your waist and pulled you in close. Your hands tangled into his hair, breathing him in.

Lingering on the kiss, you wanted to savor each and every second of it.

"Jensen come up here man!" Jared belted out.

You both pulled away, shocked of what just happened. His eyes were locked on yours, and he could feel his stomach flutter. Breathless from your beauty. Jensen was locked in your trance, and honestly, he didn't seem to mind.

He wanted more. Craving you in a way that made his mouth water for you.

"Jensen!" Jared intervened. He pulled on Jensen's arm.

"Okay, I'm coming." He muttered. Taking one last glance at you before making his way to the stage.

Y/F/N reached for your hand and squeezed. "They invited us out again tomorrow night. Can you believe that?!" She squealed. "Our favorite actors from our favorite show wants to hang out with us!"

You just nodded, not able to focus on anything but the kiss you had with Jensen. You grazed your fingertips over your lips, still able to feel him on you.

He turned on his heels, toward the mic. Scanning the tiny bar for you. And as he finally met your gaze, he felt at ease. Flashing you a smile.

Little did you know, this was the start of how your life changed forever.

—

Tagging : @squirrelnotsam @profiler-in-training @kristrainer @stasye @aplolomq @sirod-30

#breathless series #jensen ackles x reader #jensen imagine #jensen ackles imagine #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles #jensen x reader #dean winchester #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #spn cast #spn imagine #spn #spn fanfic

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crue6xx · 6 years ago

Text

Unexpected........soft but not

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Type:Fluffy

Pairing:Vince×Reader

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You love motley crue, you always get tickets to shows and go to whiskey a go go and clubs, vinces voice was so mesmerising, you loved it.

Although one night your grandmother stumbled upon a book of yours, of course it had to be your old diary just from a couple years back when you and your prime time of obsession with Motley Crue, you still are but this one was in depth about Vince and your love for him, you know your grandma also likes Motley Crue so as a birthday gift because as it was coming up soon, about a month or so but she decided to buy you backstage passes to a Motley Crue show.

You obviously had no idea about it which wasn't a bad thing also wasn't exactly a good thing the reason happened to be unexpected but it surely happened, skip to last night well you had a couple drinks the rainbow Bar and Grill it was pretty nice you were getting a bit more Tipsy then you planned but you could still see just a bit blurry, a guy with white blonde sort of bushy hair walked up to you introduce himself is Vince, you weren't drinking a bit more now getting a bit more Tipsy things a bit harder to remember or kind of getting blurrier.

You played it off like he was just some guy trying to get your number that you didn't want to go home with, but you didn't want your grandma to see you come home drunk it kind of out of your mind last time that happened you messed up big-time and almost burned the house down but let's not talk about that, back to what was really happening at the bar. " hey I'm Vince nice to meet you how do you do?", looking over from your drink, you " hi I'm doing just fine".

" no-name huh, looks like you're hard to get but me being the guy am I'm pretty sure I don't need to do much explaining do I?".

Still pretty drunk unable to recognize who the hell you're talking to you're blurred out these words a bit loudly " what the hell do you mean, I have never met you in my entire life what makes you think I want to go home with you".

" well then I guess I'll have to try harder" a smug smile exhibited his face " you heard the song Kickstart My Heart?", " fuck yea, who the hell hasn't".

" does the name Vince ring a bell?" He was clearly hinting, still he the hell do you not notice your idol, love of your life? " nah, I don't think so if you say you're trying hard you're not doing too good buddy" you said sipping your iced Martin, Vince clearly cringed at the fact that you called him "Buddy".

" without you in my life I'd slowly Wilt and die but with you by my side you're the reason I'm alive" Vince sung.

Your eyes and now just realizing exactly who you're talking to you yell these three words "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" Vince's smug face happily and easily turned into a smile that you finally noticed who the fuck you're talking to.

" well now that you know, I'm pretty sure you came here alone for number one and number two you're drunk out your mind if you didn't notice me number three you can't drive a car right now so I could take you home unless you don't want anyone to see this crazy drunk but your choice just offering" vince said in a manner knowing he scored .

" oh my God, you Vince Neil. Just ask me. Some random crazy ass girl. To go home with you!?!?!?!"

" what do you fucking think?" He smirked.

" well he'll fucking yeah, Nikki Tommy and Mick with you?" Hooing fir a yes and a no at the same time

" not tonight, that's weird but not tonight".

After reading go home with him to the apartment you thought it was just going to be a quick hookup and then you leave which you didn't mind cuz it's Vince fucking Neil but at the same time you wish it was more because it's not just I want to have sex with him you want to fall in love it's clearly you know will never happen which is the sad part and makes you want to crumble up into a ball and die but fear not I guess you never know Vince is surprising but at the same time groupies is his ultimate favorite, just like a princess who needs a prince but this is not the way it goes cuz we know how the story goes.

When Vince finally parked at the apartment you weren't dazzled it definitely wasn't as nice as your house for a heavy metal star but it was nice enough they were still kind of struggling and didn't feel like buying a new place plus it's OG Motley house the band grew up here, after walking up the rickety stairs you walked in, the smell of alcohol cigarettes and small burn marks on the carpet made Vince want to clean for once in his life.

He told you to wait on the couch just walked into his room you had no fucking idea what he was doing he told you to wait on the couch if he walked into his room you add note walking idea what you was doing but you said couch he told you to wait on the couch if he walked into his room you add note walking idea what you was doing but you said couch waited he told you to wait on the couch if he walked into his room you add note walking idea what you was doing but you waiting on the couch.

Vince walked out with a robe, expecting him to take it off you're a bit preppy, because secretly no one really knows but you're a virgin you don't like saying it makes you sound so basic you don't know how but it just does you don't want to ruin the moment.

" follow me" Vince culling his finger with a smirk you got up at demand you don't know why but it was very attractive even though people found it a bit rude specially to treat a woman like that who gave a damn is Vince goddamn Neil he was hot and you already there you can't do anything about it anyway so, getting up from the couch he followed him slowly into his room, he shares a room with Tommy they both have one side of the room which is split by sheet hung up from the ceiling pinned up by Staples, you walk past the sheets and sea candles aligned around the bed just for some decoration.

You expecting them to immediately push you onto the bed instead he told you to lay down your stomach flat on the bed, you removed your shirt without him even asking you to do so , now faced down on your stomach on the bed Vince crabs some essential oils and put it onto your back it was warm he started to massage your back they give you hickeys on your neck the trails of kisses behind your ear and tight friction oh, he has no shirt but he's wearing a sort of Speedo type underwear that's pretty tight but also flexible.

" you know I know you, you're always in the front row at every show in this town, you're always on some fan page about Motley Crue mostly me though oh, why is that?" Vince sais calmly.

" I've always love Motley Crue, but the first time I saw a picture of you I literally died at the site love your rocking body".

" I'm going to take this slow, I'm not going to give you what you want you're not a groupie you got some girl just looking for a quick hookup, your girl looking for something more, I don't get that alot, so we're going to take things not my way not your way just away from what you expected, maybe next time" he said in a rough scrappy hot voice while massaging your back.

" I'm perfectly fine with that, you know I really do enjoy this more than just a quick hookup" you say fully satisfied with the feeling of vinces hands and the oil rubbing on your back.

After you were fully satisfied what's the massage he lied beside you shirtless, after a quick breath of relief you sit up on the head of the bed propped up on a pillow half under the covers, Vince blows out the candles.

Vince doesn't know exactly what to do neither do you you both are really know what exactly taking it slow is but first step is already done but you don't know what to do afterwards so you just sitting in bed both silent trying to figure out what to talk about what to do and how to do it wow still going slow.

" do you want to spoon?" You say offering to be the small spoon, " already a step ahead of you guess you just said it first" Vince said wrapping his arma around you.

" I know we just met feels like I've known you for a while I'm not sure why this just feels right if this is what love feels like I'm in for a long happy ride".

Those words melted your heart, he kissed you play with your hair left hickeys almost everywhere but not below your waist because as you both agreed you were going slow but you wondered how long you were going to keep it slow because to be honest you were a bit impatient cuz I mean you've had a crush on Vince for so long not that it's an issue that you got a massage from him get to come to his apartment and snuggle and Spoon but still you didn't want to keep it slow for too long.

" I think well.... I sound crazy I know I do but... I think I love you" Vince forced himself to blurt.

" I've always wanted to hear that but that's only because I had a crush on you for how you looked, got even more now you sound nowhere near crazy to me...... I think I love you too"

" man me and you so crazy ass motherfuckers, I guess taking it slow as the right way finally met someone that I can connect with been a while since that".

" it's funny, you were never this emotional whenever I saw you in interviews and such wow it's truly a soft guy"

" well you'd be surprised, I truly am soft guy it's hard to admit although I am pretty rough around the edges I am soft guy a little bit on the inside"

" well it was very unexpected, I thought you just wanted a quickie I was wrong we're taking it slow I guess I don't mind as much but I'm still a little bit impatient to be honest"

" I think when I said taking it slow I didn't mean we had to wait days he'll it could have been 15 minutes I wouldn't mind" vince smirked moving his hand up your thigh still while spooning you.

" well then I guess tonight have some more unexpected territories to explore I say you've done enough of the slow what do you say?"

" what do you fucking think?'

" still unexpected hot soft but not"

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kairi-lansley · 7 years ago

Text

I want to tell you all a true story. None of this is fabricated or exaggerated. I'm not going to give every single detail because this will already be a long post. I want to tell you a true story about the love of my life:

When you're a hitch-hiker, life is completely different from how normal people live it. You learn to live and survive completely off of the kindness of strangers and have to roll with whatever the universe decides to throw at you that day. Everything can change, you're life could be in danger if you make a bad decision.

By the time I'd reached Taos, NM my money was completely spent. I was out of real food and the only thing I had to eat for three days were some homemade pot cookies that I had been rationing because I needed SOMETHING to eat. I had been sitting out on the sidewalk next to a Walmart flying a sign so I could get enough change to buy myself something substantial to eat.

While I was sitting there with a cardboard sign that said "Spare some change to fuel my rocket ship" (it was my favorite sign and people typically threw me whatever they could because they found it amusing) a guy about my age walked over to me. He introduced himself as "Tex." His hair was blond and shaved down into a military style cut, his eyes were the same green-blue as mine, and he was about 5'11. He asked if I was a traveler. I told him I was and he explained to me that he was as well and that he was on his way to The National Rainbow Gathering. That was my destination as well. He asked how long I'd been in Taos to which I replied I'd only just arrived that day.

By this time I'd made enough change to walk over to McDonald's and grab myself a couple cheeseburgers so he offered to walk with me. We talked about our travels, he was here from Austin, TX, this was his first time hitch-hiking too, his dad had passed away from cancer and when that happened he decided to hit the road and find himself. We ate lunch together. I told him my story. How I had been horribly depressed and living alone in my own apartment when a couple of my friends had showed up from Iowa to ask if I wanted to travel. Little did they know I was about to overdose and had everything set up to do so. Part way through our journey we decided to split up and race to the Gathering.

"So you're alone then?" he asked, wolfing down his large fries.

"Yeah," I replied. "Aren't we all though?"

There was something in that moment when he looked at me. A kind of quiet stillness. He saw through the facade of a joke I'd made. He saw I wasn't just talking about traveling and he saw that I was terribly, agonizingly alone I was. Either that or I'm just projecting because it was exactly what I saw in him too. We made an agreement that moment, not with words, there were none, just silence. We would travel the rest of the way to the gathering together.

After our lunch he asked if I'd like to walk around town with him. Taos is a beautiful little town. To the east there were mountains and to the west nothing but desert and mesa. We'd spent the whole day just walking around, looking at all the little touristy shops. Joking, laughing, at one point we flew a sign together to get some dinner and ate it picnic style in the middle of Taos Plaza where there was a free jazz show being played. While we were sitting there a man came over to us. He introduced himself to us and asked if we had been flying a sign outside of Walmart. I told him we had and then he asked where we were staying.

"We haven't actually figured that out yet. Probably in a park." Tex told the man.

The guys smiled, "Not tonight you're not. I'm staying over at the Sun God Inn for the next two weeks while I'm here on business and I have a spare bed. If you two need a place to rest your head later you can come down."

Tex and I thanked this stranger profusely and he told us what room he was in. He sat with us a bit longer before deciding he'd had enough of the free concert and wanted to go back to his room.

"You two enjoy your evening and just come knocking when you need."

After the man left, Tex and I stayed listening to the music. The sun had started to set and I remember thinking that New Mexico sunsets were far more beautiful than any other place I'd been. Tex stood up and shyly smiled then asked, "So I know you're not really a girl.... and that's okay with me.... and I'm Bisexual.... and I ain't that good at this sort of thing.... but would you maybe like to dance with me?"

My heart stopped. I was a little wounded about the "not really a girl" but it didn't matter because he meant well. I recall looking up at him and saying "I only know how to dance like a stripper." He laughed. With a gloved hand he took mine, pulled me to me feet, then insisted that I dance with him. I protested a bit giving him a million reasons why I can't dance before he said "Who cares? None of these people are going to see us again." He was right.

We spent maybe half an hour slow dancing in the plaza, under the burnt orange sky of the setting sun. I remember thinking this was the most incredible thing that's ever happened. He was so cute, definitely dirty but then again so was I since it'd been at least a week since my last shower. It didn't matter. I was happy, and his eyes were the most beautiful eye's I'd ever seen. The whole day had been amazing.

After the music stopped he asked if I was tired yet. I told him I wasn't so he asked if I wanted to go sit in the park. I remembered that I'd had a few more o those pot cookies left over so I suggested we could go down to Kit Carson Memorial Park and eat them. That's what we ended up doing. It was there on a picnic table under the stars where we were talking and stoned out of our minds when he grabbed my hand then very slowly leaned in and gave me our first kiss. To this day, no other kiss could ever compare.

After making out in the park for a bit we decided to go and sleep at the Inn the man had told us he was at. When we got there we knocked on the door. He was pretty drunk and welcomed us warmly. We stayed up for a while talking to him, telling the man about our travels, where we were going, talking about our lives, until he eventually decided to go to sleep. He gave us the remote and told us we could shower. So I showered first (it'd been so long I forgot how good they felt) and then Tex took one after me. I was laying under the covers flipping through channels while our host was sleeping in the other bed.

When Tex got out of the shower wearing just his boxer-briefs I stared at him in silent adoration. Shit, I was really developing some incredibly strong feelings for this guy. There wasn't a single thing about him I could find off putting or unattractive. That night he fell asleep holding me with his face in my hair.

When we woke up the next morning, our host had gone out and left us some coffee and donuts before he went wherever he had to go. There was also a note that said "Feel free to stay however long you need. There are some mushrooms in the nightstand. Be back later. Enjoy! ;)"

A lot of that day in the room was a blur but there were a few notable moments that I still recall. For instance while we were tripping I was laying on the bed holding hands with him and it felt like our life forces were melding, merging, our souls were one, we were one, and he told me this was how it was always supposed to be. Us against the world. I remember giggling when the Native American Shaman in the ceiling agreed with us. I remember giggling when we shut off the lights then removed the lamp shades from the lamps then placed them on our heads, playing some weird version of peek-a-boo. Finally, as we were coming down we held eachother and he said "Did you know I've loved you my entire life?" and I replied "Yes, because I've loved you my entire life."

Our host returned later that night, he was drunk again and we'd spent the day cuddling and talking in bed. Our host said something before he passed out that unnerved me a little but I brushed it off as just flattery, he said "You're a lucky man Tex. You're girlfriend is one hell of a catch." He then went on to tell us we were welcome to stay however long he needed.

The next day we woke up and decided to wander town. There's so many details I'm leaving out, but that's okay, I can't forget any of it. We were in love with eachother's souls that's all that matters right? At one point that day after we had spanged up enough money to eat lunch we were walking through town when we came across a bicycle at the park sitting unchained.

"You wanna borrow that?" Tex asked.

"Borrow? What do you mean? You mean steal it?" I asked nervously.

"No not steal! We're just going to borrow it then we'll bring it back."

Before I could say no he hopped on the bike and had me sit on the handle bars. It was terrifying yet exhilarating at the same time. We rode around town on the bike for a couple hours before my anxiety took over and I told him we needed to return the bike. So we did, and I was high on being a bad criminal that returns their stolen goods. No harm no foul. Again we slept at the motel, but that night our host busted out a guitar and played us classic rock songs while we sang along.

The next day Tex woke me up and said, "Hey I'm going to go down to Walmart and fly a sign. I'll be back in a few hours if that's okay." Our host had given us a key card to the room. I said that was alright and that I was just going to just hang out in the room because it was so hot outside. He kissed me, told me he loved me, and left.

About an hour later our host returned unexpectedly. He was drunk. More drunk than I'd seen him previously. I don't wanna go to into detail about what happened next but he said again "That boyfriend of yours is one lucky man" and then started to force himself on me. I was terrified, this man was bigger than me, stronger than me, and I was in such a state of shock that all I could do to fight back was to scream at him. Tex came back while this was all happening. I've never seen anyone get the shit beat out of them like that in my life, but Tex ripped the man off of me and kicked his ass. I was still shaken and he instructed me to grab my backpack. Our host was sitting bloodied and beaten against a wall and I watched as Tex grabbed his wallet, pulled out a hundred dollar bill, then threw the wallet at the man.

We left the room. I was still shaking and Tex did everything he could to calm me down, making sure I was alright, asking me if I needed anything, and kept repeating "I love you, I'm sorry, I love you." We made our way down the main strip and used the hundred dollar bill to get us a room in a different hotel for the night. We agreed that our time in Taos was over and that tomorrow we would head out of town for The Rainbow Gathering. We spent the night together, him consoling me after I had bandaged up his knuckles. We made love that night. He asked me if I'd marry him. I said yes. He said we'd do it tomorrow.

The next morning we caught a ride out of Taos and had our ride drop us off at the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge on U.S. Highway 68. We stood over the gorge hand in hand. There were other tourists on the bridge but we payed no notice to them. He turned to me after we stood in silence together and we had a mock ceremony. We made up vows on the spot, and we each other's hands with a knife then allowed our blood to mix and fall to the gorge below stating that blood is bond. We were happy.

After our little private ceremony we caught a ride west with a couple of guys who had been going by the bridge. They drove us all the way out to this crossroads outside of Tres Piedras. It had started to rain so we took shelter in a rusted car that was filled with trash sitting next to an abandoned gas station. It wasn't the ideal honeymoon spot but we were happy regardless. We spent the day in the car, we ate some dry ramen blocks, and finished the rest of my pot cookies. We were entirely happy.

The next day we woke up in the car and there was a Winnebago parked across the street with a woman sitting at a table outside of it. I decided to see what was going on so I got out of the car with no shoes on and started to walk over. I mis-stepped and stubbed my big toe, ripping all but a couple layers of flesh off of it. It was absolutely excruciating. I hobbled my way over to the woman who looked to be in her mid-forties. She was incredibly rude and very stuck up. I asked if she had any bands aids and she said no, so I asked if she had any paper towel, and she told me I'd have to pay fifty cents per piece. I was angry but since I didn't have an option I did so. I hobbled back over to the car and Tex woke up when I got in. I asked him if he had any tape or rubberband and he didn't so he rummaged through the random trash in the backseat and thankfully found a green rubberband wrapped around an old newspaper. He took the paper towel and folded it around my toe then wrapped it in place with the rubberband. It wasn't much but that's all we could do.

We spent the rest of the day sitting in the car. We figured out pretty quick that we were in a pretty bad position. The entire time we'd been there not a single car had passed. I remember saying, "If we die out here I'm glad we'll be doing it together." He smiled and kissed me on the lips, "I'm sure we won't die but I agree." The whole day passed by and we spent it talking, making out, talking some more. Just when we were about to give up hope of getting picked up and were preparing to figure out where the nearest town was, a pick up truck pulled into the abandoned gas station. Tex jumped out of the car and went running over to the passenger window. He talked to whoever it was then half skipped half run with the goofiest smile on his face. "Grab your stuff, babe, they're going to the gathering too!" I was so excited that I left my camera in the car and didn't realize it until we were already on the way.

The two men who gave us a ride were going to stay the night with an old friend of theirs and told us we were welcome to stay too. Tex and I were so happy to sleep in a real bed after having been in that car for so long. As soon as we got in bed together and cuddled up we fell right to sleep. I remember the next morning waking up to him laying next to me with a smile. He'd said he'd been awake for a bit and was just watching me sleep. It was the sweetest thing I'd heard. I nuzzled him and told him I loved him. We layed in bed snuggled up, enjoying the silent bond we both shared. After a while a knock came at the door and the younger of the two men said it was time to leave. So we got up, grabbed our bags and made our way out to the truck. Our hands were practically glued together the whole way except when we were passing joints with the other guys.

Once we got to our destination we were both incredibly stoned out of our minds. What happened next, is difficult to describe unless you've been to one of these gatherings. There are THOUSANDS of people and it's easy to get lost. We hadn't set up camp yet and I really had to pee so I went to find the communal piss ditch. We made our way to the trading circle which wasn't so much a circle as it was a road. He had stopped to look at something that someone was trying to trade. I asked him if he minded if I tried to find the ditch.

He smiled his beautiful smile and said, "Not at all, babe, I'll come find you when I'm done here."

"Okay." I said dancing from one foot to the next. Before I could turn around he pulled me close to him and gave me a kiss. I can still feel it as if it just happened.

"I love you more than you could know. And when I'm done we'll go set up camp and have a real honeymoon."

I told him I loved him too, that I'd see him in a few minutes. I eventually found the ditch and did my business. I stood at the end of the path that led to it waiting for him. He never showed. So after a while I went looking for him. I never saw him again.

Several years later I started asking around about him. Last night I found out Tex had passed away a couple years ago. He had been train hopping with another traveler. He tried to get off of a train and misjudged the speed as well as the jump. This traveler told me he was married, that he had fallen in-love and they got married a few days after meeting in Taos. That she was his soulmate. They got separated at the rainbow gathering and no matter how much or how hard he looked he could never find her again. He held out hope until the very end that we would be brought back together.

My heart aches. My soul weeps. RIP Tex. RIP My Soulmate.

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thinwhitedelight · 4 years ago

Note

Oh I'd love to see a track-by-track evermore review from you... Only if you are in the mood of course.

Me? That’s so nice. It’ll be hard because I’ve only listened to it one-and-a-half times and I might be the only Taylor Sift fan who doesn’t really like it, so maybe that’s the fun? I’ll try my best.

Willow: I absolutely love this song. I think this is the first worthy single she has released since the 1989 era. There is a willingness to be hurt by a loved one that can sound openly masochistic or unhealthy to some -- but it’s actually based on trust. “I come back stronger than a 90s trend” to me, indicates a relationship of ups and downs. If you know a person has the ability to hurt you (as humans do) and be loved in a healthy way, that’s a strong relationship. The breathiness and guitar picking is so pretty.

Champaign Problems: When I first saw the tracklist, I thought this was going to be She. I was picturing drunk socialites and Gatsby parties while we hear a list of maybe sad, first world problems. I don’t see the issue of, what I assume, to be a failed proposal as “champagne problems.” Of course, we can assume that “champagne problems” can refer to a toast at a wedding and the rest of the song tacks itself onto that single concept. That isn’t enough for me. I also find the delivery to be boring and sleepy. However, I can’t blame a song for not being what I wanted it to be.

Gold Rush: I...hate this song. Not only do I think the pop beat completely throws the entire album off, but I am also growing weary of the metaphor where the general public lusts after Joe. While I think it is an important point to make that people are wanting to take her happiness, there are so many other creative ways she can convey this. (I Know Places anyone? The Lucky One?) In addition, I don’t think a single person has expressed sexual desire for him.

‘tis the damn season: There are parts of this song that I truly like. There are standout lyrics and imagery that I think many of us have experienced: staying at your parent's house and wanting to leave -- especially if you’re a broke millennial; how you always going back to the same person; mud on tires during winter. However, this song has the same problem that (you all are going to kill me) All Too Well has and why I hate that song. At some points, I feel like this isn’t a song with a melody and she’s instead choosing to stuff as many words together as possible.

tolerate it: Sad, but it’s too long. There are so many other songs about bad or failing relationships that make you want to cry or drag your nails down the wall until they bleed. This feels...stagnant in its delivery except for the delivery of “tolerate it.” I can’t listen to Amy Winehouse’s song Back to Black with: “You only said goodbye with words. I died a hundred times. You go back to her and I go back to...us.” and then expect myself to feel pain with Tolerate It. It also suffers from Taylor’s new “I say shit now” syndrome.

no body, no crime: INCREDIBLE. From the police sirens setting the scene and the husky undertones of Haim, this song is taking up the torch for Goodbye Earl. It’s a classic country/folk/pop song that is able to successfully show us what is happening. I harped on All Too Well earlier for it being only a package of words (except the bridge), but no body, no crime has a melody, a hook, and most of all, a mood that can tell a story in a book like fashion. The “He did it,” in the background is so chilling and fun. We love female rage.

happiness: I, um...didn’t even finish this song. We have “shit syndrome” again and I have already heard the same song three times already and I couldn’t do it.

dorathea: Taylor shines when she is giving us narrative and she does so in Dorathea. We get another song from a man’s perspective (the first in folklore) hoping he gets to see his now rich and famous friend -- but rather than be angry or jealous of her fame, he only wishes to see her again. I love hearing a success story about famous women (even fake) that doesn’t end in tragedy and a man that can support it. It’s a unique song about a friendship that once was. The “Hey, Dorethea!” is so cute. We can all relate to friends moving on, yeah?

coney island: Taylor is just having a ROUGH time with her narratives on this album. So much more could have been explored about a theme park in Brooklyn New York that has been around since WWII. The National also frightened me.

ivy: This is the song that I cannot figure out. It may have the most beautiful opening of the whole album and “my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand” chills and stuns me. The imagery and storytelling reminds me of a Hayao Miyazaki film. So I asked myself: why can’t I bring myself to love it?

Album exhaustion.

Taylor’s albums have a long tracklist with each song running close to four minutes. I was tired and my brain was fried. I had heard the same song five times now (six if you counted Gold Rush, but that had a different beat.) I couldn’t appreciate the song because everything had started the blur together and I had become irate. I will revisit it.

cowboy like me: Another song I will revisit. It took me a full minute to get over how ridiculous the opening line sounded, and only then did I realize how interesting the song and characters were. I’m aware that the speaker in the song must not be educated if they are a thief, but there are so many eloquent ways to express ignorance of a marquee than: “was covered up with some tent-like thing.” It could even force the listener to discover it was a marquee on their own, turning the tables.

long story short: You should have made the story shorter. I didn’t finish it.

marjorie: I feel so terrible for not liking this song. Again, I think she was unsuccessful with the way she wrote the narrative and the flow was bad. Taylor is better than this.

closure: omg I didn’t even know this song was on here

evermore (feat. Bon Iver): How could she do that do Bon Iver’s voice.

This album truly felt like it was comprised of the rejects from folklore. Maybe I’m spoiled because such an incredible album preceded it, but I find very little redeeming qualities in evermore other than its objectively beautiful lyrics. However, you can write a beautiful song without invoking feelings into your listener.

I’d like to see Taylor put out shorter albums with a focus on higher quality songs. Album exhaustion is a real thing and even folklore suffered from it. (I skip four songs when listening.) This is the genre I prefer Taylor in and I hope she takes some time off before releasing the next album. Even if this is one of my least favorites, it’s still better than most albums by any current artist.

#Anonymous

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