#haname amamiya

[doodle-hell]

【P5: APOTELESMA】

Ren returns to his hometown, Morgana meets the family (upon first impression, he's decided he hates them!) and Maruki helps out one last time. After forwarding some official looking medical documents that declares Morgana an emotional support animal, Ren's parents allow the cat to stay. Their step Mother gives Ren a hard time about the whole situation, but their Dad doesn't actually seem to mind all that much.

[stellatenuem]

i am thinking about hiroto and haname amamiyas no good awful very bad parenting again and its 4 am and god i am so fucked up

everything about ren paints him as a survivor of emotional abuse and gaslighting and being brought up in co-dependency.

the fundamental distrust in the adults around him. the way he constantly self-edits to be the person other people want or expect him to be, the inherit insecurity in his relationships due to him seeing them as transactional. him being directionless without problems to solve. (my worth is measured in what i can do for others. i need to force people to want me around by providing them with something. being needed and useful.)

ren genuinely loves his friends, but sometimes that's just not enough. you can love someone and still be afraid to lean on them. especially if people you were supposed to trust, people who were supposed to love and protect you, taught you that your feelings didn’t matter, not only that, but you were shameful or bad somehow for having them.

there were cracks in rens heart long before his awakening and when theyre left to fester and more trauma gets piled on top of them it distorts into something terrible

[stellatenuem]

“Why do you let them talk to you like that?”

RANDOM DIALOGUE STARTERS (ACCEPTING!)

Ren feared this was likely to come up eventually. It's why he hardly ever invited Goro over and always opted to spend time at the other's home instead. Just the potential for conflict is what drives them to keep Goro's interactions with their parents to a minimum. Haname Amamiya was a nice woman on the surface, always gracious and punctual. But she always treats Ren being in social situations like some kind of test. A test she always assumes Ren will fail.

When Ren was younger, she would often order and direct them around like some puppet instead of letting them interact naturally with others. Inflexible and touchy, she would blow small things out of proportion, chide and insult him in that sort of backwards way as she apologized to others for him daring to have anything resembling a personality. Ren felt such shame and self-doubt trying to be social with anyone while she was around, and even when she wasn't, to some degree.

The words she'd said just before the two of them ascended the stairs bounce around in Ren's mind. "Are you really friends with my son? He's just never told me a thing about you, so I'm just surprised... I'm sorry, Akechi-kun, Ren has always been thoughtless like that. He isn't very smart with people. Had I known you were coming over I would have started preparing dinner. Ren, come here and apologize. It was inconsiderate of you to not introduce us. I know I taught you better than that. Did you at least clean your room? I hope you did, unless you want your friend to think you're a slob."

Ren moves their hands and takes hold of one of their own wrists, their unconscious mind's attempt at protection from pain. (From memories of what happened when he tried to speak up.) Their words come out sounding a bit smaller than they would have liked them to, ❝ Getting angry about it never did me any good. ❞