#halsin x tav'ahria

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 35

Chapter 35: The Gauntlet

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,818

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

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Summary: Tav and her companions start the daunting task of exploring Shar's Gauntlet. Part 35 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: I tried to compress this section a bit so I didn't have to rehash so much in game dialogue. I hope you enjoy my twist on their first day in the Gauntlet :) If you're reading on Tumblr (or AO3 I don't care either way) and you'd like tagged for updates, just let me know with a DM or comment! I'm happy to add a tag list.

The air in the Thorm mausoleum was strangely acrid. It didn’t carry the typical musty odor found in most crypts, it was much more pungent and rotten, as if the stone itself was diseased.

Just like the landscape around Reithwin, the inside of the mausoleum was fractured and broken. Cracks in the floor allowed a strange gas to float up and fill the air around them creating an unnatural, green haze. Tav barely dared to breathe, unsure of what she was inhaling into her lungs.

One room in the mausoleum had been dedicated to dark, necromantic rituals of some kind. Bones were laid out in different patterns, surrounded by all manner of spellcasting components. Even Gale looked uncomfortable as he tried to decipher their purpose.

“This is dark magic, indeed,” he mumbled as he used the end of his staff to push pieces aside. “This is no common wizard or sorcerer that we’re dealing with. Best exercise caution as we proceed.”

The next room they entered felt more sinister still. Strange symbols were painted all over the room, and another pile of bones was arranged in the center of the floor to match them.

Where have I seen that mark before?

As Tav racked her brain, a sharp gasp from Wyll startled her.

“By Balduran’s helm,” he whispered. “That’s the symbol of Myrkul.”

“Myrkul?” Halsin echoed.

Tav realized she had seen the same symbol adorning Ketheric Thorm’s armor. “Perhaps this is how he survived the fighting.”

“Then he would have had to pledge himself to Myrkul while still serving Shar, would he not?” Halsin replied in a low whisper.

“I suppose…” Tav didn’t like what he was implying.

“How was he able to unleash the shadow curse if he no longer had Shar’s favor?”

Before she could respond, Shadowheart called out to them from another room further in the crypt.

“Found something!”

They walked past a mess of inactive traps surrounding an open tomb.

Odd. Although if there is a necromancer around, perhaps not totally out of the ordinary.

As the others joined Shadowheart to study the paintings adorning the wall, Tav stepped up to the open sarcophagus. She knelt to get a better look at the name plate on the floor.

The plaque was old and faded, but she could easily make out the name.

Isobel Thorm.

That couldn’t be the same Isobel protecting Last Light…could it? Halsin had joined her and shared the same suspicious look as he studied the tomb.

A short click and the sound of grinding stone startled them out of their thoughts. Apparently, the others had found a hidden passage.

“Let’s find out what this Ketheric Thorm was hiding under his family’s final resting place, shall we?” Shadowheart strode confidently forward through the revealed doorway.

Astarion was uncharacteristically quiet as they made their way further into the crypt.

“Hey,” Tav nudged his arm, “why the long face?”

“I can’t help but think of Raphael’s deal. It can’t be that simple, can it?”

“Only one way to find out, I suppose.” She shrugged. At least this deal didn’t require bargaining with their souls. “We’ll stay on our guard, find this orthon, and see what we can do. If Raphael doesn’t keep his word, or finds some other way to swindle us, then we’ll find another way to read those scars.”

“How heroic of you.” Astarion rolled his eyes at her, but she saw a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

Their conversation was cut short as they arrived at a circular platform.

“This…this temple is Sharran in design.” Shadowheart looked awestruck.

“A Sharran fortress, hidden beneath the Thorm Mausoleum?” Halsin scoffed. “How long had this been here?”

“Quite some time judging by the state of things.” Gale pointed toward a stack of rusted weapons covered in thick cobwebs.

Gods, how long had this plan been in place before Ketheric Thorm? How long had Shar been building a temple in her name just beneath the land of those who worshipped her sister?

“Down we go, then,” Karlach hopped onto the platform.

“Is that really the best idea?” Wyll sounded skeptical as he peered over the edge. “We have no way of knowing what we’ll find here. This isn’t exactly what we were expecting.”

“We don’t have a choice, I’m afraid,” Tav sighed, dreading another long ride hovering gods only know how high above the floor. Honestly, how many long elevator rides would she have to endure on this journey?

“The source of Thorm’s invulnerability is hidden here somewhere, and if we don’t find it, we are all well and truly fucked.”

Everyone climbed onto the strange disc. Tav tried to position herself closer to the center so she couldn’t see over the edge as easily. Once again, Halsin appeared at her side, offering his arm as her anchor. She dug her fingers into his hand as the disc lurched forward, slowly bringing them down into the fortress. Shadowheart seemed to know how to use it to navigate.

Their descent gave them plenty of time to take in their new surroundings. This temple was huge. It would have taken decades to carve out and build something this size. It was decorated in a similar manner to Grymforge. The walls were still made up of dark purple and blue hues with gold accents cutting through many of the designs.

And in the center of it all stood an enormous statue of Shar. It was large enough that Tav could almost believe it would come to life as the goddess herself.

“Shar does have style, I’ll give her that,” Astarion mused as the disc slowed to a stop.

Shadowheart continued leading them forward until they reached a circular, stone door. Tav couldn’t see any levers or buttons to open it, but as they approached, the door simply slid open on its own, welcoming them into a dark chamber.

In the center was another statue of Shar. Much smaller than the one outside, but still impressive all the same.

For fuck’s sake, how many shrines in her likeness does she need in one place?

There were doors and hidden alcoves all around them. Another circular door on the other side of the room seemed to be their way forward, but she doubted it would be as simple as the one behind them.

In front of the statue sat a pedestal with a gem in its center.

“Allow me,” Astarion flashed a grin at them before strolling up to it.

He was promptly launched back toward them, repelled by an invisible barrier of some kind.

“Did you get it out of your system, Astarion?” Shadowheart stood over him, arms crossed over her chest.

“Yes, I think I’ve had enough of that,” he wheezed back.

“You’ll want to step carefully while we’re here,” Shadowheart warned. “I’m quite certain there will be no shortage of traps.”

Tav looked around the room, trying to discern any pressure plates or trip wires. Multiple vents were scattered around the floor, but she couldn’t see any plates to trigger them from where she stood.

“Any thoughts?” she turned to Shadowheart to ask.

“A few…” she was also scanning the room around them. “There.” She pointed to a series of lanterns hanging above them.

“The lanterns?” Tav asked.

“In darkness, we see your truth,” Shadowheart whispered, no longer paying attention to Tav.

She started to carefully move around the invisible barrier in the middle of the room while Tav kept a wary eye on the vents around them. Shadowheart disappeared around a corner. A moment later, two of the lanterns hanging above them were lowered.

The rest of their party remained at the entrance, letting Shadowheart work through the puzzle. She made her way between the four corners of the room, each time lowering another pair of lanterns closer to the floor.

“Cloak us in your shadow,” she continued to mutter as she moved around the room, snuffing out lanterns as she passed them.

“Guide us to your victory,” her reverent whisper echoed off the walls as the chamber was slowly bathed in darkness.

“Shar’s will shall be done.”

Her words caused Tav to tense up as the purpose of this temple dawned on her. She shared an uneasy look with Halsin, who seemed to be of the same mind.

This was a proving ground for Sharrans, a birthplace for Dark Justiciars.

“As sure as night shall fall.”

As Shadowheart finished the prayer, the last lantern was extinguished, leaving the room in total darkness. But only for a moment.

A glowing barrier appeared around the statue of Shar. A path to the gem could be seen between the magical walls. Shadowheart strode through them, a look of pure admiration on her face.

When she pressed the gem embedded in the ornate pedestal, the barrier disappeared, and the large, round door slid open behind her.

Shadowheart beamed with pride and started walking toward the revealed path.

Tav took a deep breath and followed her into the temple. She felt Halsin’s fingers brush against hers as they walked.

“How do we keep ending up in Sharran sanctuaries? Shouldn’t the likes of us go up in flames the moment we cross one of her thresholds?” Tav whispered to him, switching to Elvish so she could speak even quieter.

He snorted. “Careful, my friend. Best not to tempt fate while strolling her hallowed halls.”

The very air in the temple frazzled her nerves. Every little shadow caused her to flinch and reach for her bow.

“I think this one is special, Halsin.” She kept her eyes on Shadowheart as they walked. “The layout is already so different from Grymforge, and we’ve barely made it inside.”

“We are of the same mind.”

A deep rumbling sound from ahead of them caused the group to pick up their pace. She could hear an argument of sorts, but the voices didn’t sound like those of the living.

“Stay close to me,” Tav whispered just as they reached another set of stairs.

“Always,” Halsin took her hand in his briefly before they charged forward.

***

Halsin dismissed his wild shape once the last Dark Justiciar had fallen.

The reanimated fighters had appeared as soon as they entered the room. Strangely enough, the other undead creatures had fought with them against the Sharrans. They also fled the room the moment the battle was finished.

“Why were they attacking me?” The subtle panic in Shadowheart’s voice was alarming to him.

“Talk to us, Shadowheart, what could be causing this?” Tav called out as she scavenged a few arrows from the fallen bodies.

“I…I don’t know. Perhaps Lady Shar is testing me?”

Halsin could still hear the uncertainty in her voice. This was not a test she expected to face here.

All around them were fallen bodies of Dark Justiciars, long dead. But they had not been slain in the fighting with Ketheric Thorm – Halsin was certain the Harpers and Emerald Enclave were unaware of this fortress.

As everyone recovered from the short fight, Shadowheart continued to explore. She made her way down a set of stairs that led to another moving disc where she fell to her knees in prayer.

“Shadowheart? You okay there, soldier?” Karlach walked up beside her.

“I’m right where I’m meant to be.” Shadowheart smiled as tears gathered in her eyes. “We all are.”

Tav tensed at his side but relaxed again before Shadowheart turned to address them all.

“Lady Shar wishes for Ketheric Thorm to be punished. He is an oathbreaker and a traitor in her eyes.”

Halsin and Tav were both visibly taken aback by her statement.

“I suppose our fates have aligned even more than we thought,” Shadowheart said with a small smile.

“I never thought I’d see the day where Shar and I would share a common goal,” Tav let out a bewildered snort. “What do you need to do to make that happen?”

“There will likely be trials throughout this sanctuary. I should take them and claim my mantle of Dark Justiciar, proving myself in her eyes.”

“Dark Justiciar?” Halsin asked, unable to hide his concern. “And that is the path you want to walk, Shadowheart?”

She scoffed, “this has been my life’s purpose, everything I’ve trained for, everything I’ve suffered for!”

Halsin backed off, not wanting to agitate her further.

“As is your choice to make,” he conceded.

“Besides, if we need to get into the inner sanctum, I doubt we can do so without passing those trials. So, unless someone else here is willing to take those risks…”

Shadowheart made a point of making eye contact with everyone around her. Halsin took a deep breath before speaking.

“Perhaps this an unprecedented stroke of fortune for all of us. Shadowheart can pursue her own ambitions, and the rest of us are spared the peril of these trials in Shar’s name.”

Shadowheart gave him an approving nod.

“Can we help at all? You know, make sure you don’t get fucked up too bad?” Karlach asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” Shadowheart admitted. “We’ll know more once we can find information on the trials themselves.”

“First, we should probably take care of this Balthazar fellow. If he’s here on behalf of Ketheric Thorm, he could be a hindrance to us while we explore,” Gale said as he downed a healing potion.

“We need to confirm whether or not the source of Thorm’s invulnerability is here before we start any fights,” Tav reminded them. “Those skeletons were able to talk to us through the tadpoles. I’d bet my left tit that they’ll lead us to Balthazar.”

“Aw, Tav, that’s the good tit!” Karlach laughed. “At least bet the right one, it’s the worse of the two.”

“I…I have a bad one?” Tav asked with feigned offense, but a subtle twitch in her ears told him she was a tad self-conscious about it.

They both look perfect to me.

Halsin made a point not to stare as they continued making jokes about each other’s chests.

“If you ladies can stay on topic,” Astarion interrupted, “there’s also the orthon we need to take care of.”

“Let’s stick on the path to find Balthazar first,” Tav suggested. “Once we’re sure there’s no more Absolute forces hiding around here to get in our way, we can look for the orthon.”

“I’m inclined to agree with Tav,” Halsin said. “Best to scout out the fortress as much as possible before getting into any more fights.”

“Of course, you agree with her,” Astarion grumbled under his breath, barely audible.

“Sorry, Fangs, I agree with them too. Orthons are huge, nasty fuckers. We don’t want to go running into a fight with them if we have to be watching our back for other enemies.” Karlach shuddered at the thought.

“Don’t worry, love,” Tav had walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’re not going to leave this place without getting you some answers.”

Astarion at least seemed to relax at that.

“Come on, let’s go find us a necromancer.” She smiled and pulled Astarion forward alongside her.

Halsin stayed toward the back of the group as he took in the dark temple around him. Not only had they braved the infamous Grymforge, but they had now found a training ground for Shar’s forces. This was likely the last place they had gathered before marching on Moonrise Towers.

And it had been right under their nose the entire time.

“You okay, mate?” Wyll was walking next to him.

“Of course,” Halsin responded, his voice distant. “It’s just difficult to see such a sight even after all this time. How many of Shar’s destructive forces arose from within these halls, I wonder?”

“Those who do not listen to the reason of Lady Shar’s words must instead feel the keenness of her blade.” Shadowheart had snuck up on his other side.

Once again, she recited the words perfectly, and just like the last time she spouted scripture at him he didn’t hear a shred of passion behind it.

Halsin couldn’t bite back the remark clawing its way out of his throat, “you sound like a student – reciting words for a test without ever considering their meaning.”

She pursed her lips in response and thought for a moment.

“I’ve considered them plenty. Lady Shar favors action over words,” she shot back and let her gaze wander to Tav ahead of them.

“You should try it out sometime.”

He pressed his lips into a tight line as she sauntered away from him, a proud grin spread across her face. Poor Wyll walked in time with Halsin, pointedly avoiding his eye line after the awkward encounter.

Lucky for him, his time for sulking didn’t last.

Up ahead, they spotted more of the reanimated skeletons and heard the same deep rumbling that had called forth a force of Sharran soldiers in the first room.

***

“You sure Shar’s alright with us being here, Shadowheart?” Karlach asked as she ripped her sword out of the fallen Dark Justiciar’s armor. “This is the second bout of these Sharran baddies that we’ve faced.”

Tav could hear Shadowheart’s annoyed sigh from across the chamber. Most of the reanimated skeletons that had been helping them fight were now nothing more than piles of bone dust.

As they all reconvened outside of another large, circular door, the stone pulled apart to grant them entry into another room.

“I think I’m more than welcome here,” Shadowheart hissed, “but he certainly isn’t.”

She had her eyes locked on an undead man that had appeared in the doorway. Behind him was a small squad of ghouls as well as some humongous monstrosity that she didn’t dare to name.

“Ah, the interloper.” The strange man had runes carved into his face and chest which was also adorned with the symbol of Myrkul. “And a True Soul at that. Not just anyone could have succeeded in following me through this place. You should be pleased with yourself.”

Tav rolled her head side to side, cracking her neck. “Balthazar, I presume? I was sent by Z’rell. She lost contact with you and believes you’re in danger of failing your master.”

“Z’rell pours poison in your ears. Everything is at hand here; she merely envies the General’s faith in me. I am in the midst of a grand strategy.” Balthazar rolled his eyes as he waved for them to follow him into the room.

Tav fought the urge to roll hers as well.

Great. Now we’re caught in a squabble between Z’rell and Balthazar each vying for Daddy Ketheric’s favor.

“Since you’re here, I may as well put those limbs to work. You all know what’s at stake here, I take it?” Balthazar pulled her from her musings.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Enlighten me.”

Tav felt a slight tingle in the back of her mind.

“He does not belong here, this is why Lady Shar’s forces are attacking.” Shadowheart reached out with the tadpole.

“At least we can agree on that,” Tav responded silently, hoping that this Balthazar didn’t have a tadpole to intercept their thoughts.

“I cannot allow him to remain here in her temple.” Shadowheart’s voice was dripping with disdain.

“I understand Shadowheart,” Tav sent back her reply while trying to keep her focus on Balthazar’s words as well. “First we need to confirm that he can give us the information we came for.”

“…Ignorant though you may be, you’ve at least shown some prowess in combat by making it this far.”

Come on, loosen that tongue.

“I find that these sorts of operations go much smoother when I know exactly what I’m looking for.” She had to stifle a surprised gasp when she felt Shadowheart’s hand brush her arm, muttering a spell under her breath to strengthen Tav’s words and resolve.

“Fine,” Balthazar let out an exasperated sigh, “if it’ll spare me your bleating. I seek a relic, one that General Thorm requires to keep himself safe. To remain immortal. He has reasons to believe that his enemies will move to try and exploit it. We must act first and move it to a safe location.”

“Is that confirmation enough for you?” Shadowheart’s voice once again drifted into her thoughts.

“Let him finish. Don’t worry, we can’t leave him alive to run tattling back to Ketheric anyway.” Tav fought another eye roll tugging at her muscles.

Balthazar blathered on about what he had discovered about the Shar temple, apparently named Shar’s Gauntlet. Outside of supplying the location of the trials, he couldn’t tell them anything they didn’t already know.

“Thank you, Disciple Balthazar.” Tav gave a low, taunting bow. “This information has proven most helpful, indeed.”

A single word glided into her mind from Shadowheart as Tav finished speaking.

“Whizbangs.”

***

The fight had started without warning, Halsin barely had time to take on a wild shape.

So much for that code word Karlach was adamant I learned.

Balthazar was ruthless. Immediately he had tried to choke them all out with a suffocating cloud of poison, while also casting spell after spell to incapacitate those not caught in the fog. A few powerful attacks from Karlach and Lae’zel had removed that threat from the battle, at least.

Still, his powerful spells were child’s play compared to the brutish flesh golem that accompanied him. If it hadn’t been for Gale holding the monster in place with a spell until the other enemies could be defeated, the battlefield could have been a much grimmer sight.

Tav was currently camped out on a nearby stone ledge, her eyes scanning the room from behind a drawn and held arrow for any further threats.

“That’s all of them, it would seem.” Shadowheart strapped her glowing mace back to her belt. Her voice was hoarse from the thick, poisonous vapor she had inhaled. Tav lowered herself down from her perch to join them.

“I believe I was informed of a ‘safe word’ we’re supposed to use if a fight was to break out,” Halsin scolded lightly.

“Sorry...tadpoles.” Tav pointed to the side of her head with a sheepish look. “We’ll try to remember to say things out loud in the future.”

He smiled back at her, wincing at the cut running down his cheek. One of the ghouls had caught him with a claw.

“Come here, love.” Tav held her hands up, waiting for him to rest his face between her palms.

“Oh, you don’t have to–”

The stern look on Tav’s face cut him off and he let her take a moment to heal him.

Halsin always thought it was interesting how everyone’s magic felt just a touch different when healing. His own was warm and robust, seeking out pain and injuries with the ardency of a rescue hound digging through an avalanche searching for survivors.

Tav’s was a bit more timid. Since she was limited to simpler healing spells, it took a little longer for the magic to take hold. Not that he minded of course, especially when it meant feeling her gentle hands stroke his cheeks. It felt cold on his skin, but still comforting – like the feel of wading through a cool creek on a sweltering summer day.

As she started to take her hands back, he caught one of them and pressed a light kiss to her knuckles.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” she smiled back at him. “Besides we really should save your magic for more severe injuries, don’t you think?”

Halsin caught a grin on Karlach’s face out of the corner of his eye, but another bout of hacking coughs from Shadowheart quickly caused it to fade away.

“You okay, Shadowheart?” Karlach ran over to pat her on the back.

“Fine…” she wheezed, “need to…heal…voice…can’t cast.”

“Here,” Halsin dug out a small vial from his bag. “It’ll be much more effective for your throat if you drink a potion rather than use a spell anyway.”

She gave him a grateful nod and snatched the vial out of his hands before downing it in one gulp.

“Lady of Sorrows save me, that was a nasty poison he used,” she said after a moment. Her voice was still a bit raspy, but she had at least stopped coughing so she could cast a spell.

“Yes, that particular spell is a wicked one,” Halsin said as he held out his hand. Shadowheart returned the empty vial to him for reuse.

“On the bright side,” Karlach yelled from across the room, “this guy was fucking loaded! Look at all these jewels and potions and what have you.”

“Thank the gods, we’re running a bit low on healing potions at the moment. Someone was supposed to bring the rest from camp.” Tav shot a pointed look at Astarion.

“You should really know better than to ask me to do things, Tav. You know I have a very terrible memory,” he said with a sweet smile.

“Very selective memory is more like it,” she grumbled under her breath. Halsin smirked hearing the affectionate undertone of her voice.

Karlach came back over and dropped a hefty, ornate chest in front of Gale. “Here Gale, there’s lots of scrolls and books in this one if you want to take a look.”

“Oh! Delightful.” Gale wiggled his fingers in front of him before rifling through the chest’s contents.

“What’s our next step?” Wyll had rejoined the group in the center of the room.

“We need to find that orthon,” Astarion snapped at him, slapping the back of his hand into his other palm with each word. “I won’t risk that devil getting away and taking my one chance of deciphering these runes on my back.”

“I know, Astarion,” Tav spoke up in a soft voice, “but we did just take a pretty bad beating. Give us a moment to catch our breath and make a plan. We’re not leaving here without helping you, I promise.”

“Fine, fine.” He waved his hand in the air, trying to appear nonchalant. “Let’s just have our resident cleric and druid get us all back into tip top shape and we can be on our way.”

Halsin caught the nervous tapping of his foot and the way he fiddled with his daggers’ hilts at his side. It was obvious how important this was to him, but he could also feel the apprehension from the others.

“Okay, first things first,” Tav let out a deep sigh and took a seat on the edge of a nearby table.

“Karlach, tell us everything you know about orthons.”

***

Karlach hadn’t been exaggerating – the orthon was massive.

At least now they knew who was responsible for the slaughter of the Sharrans in this temple. Not that Tav felt the need to mourn for them.

Still, Shadowheart bristled beside her at the realization.

Tav was begging her pounding heart to keep quiet as she tried to talk their way out of a fight with this very angry orthon. So far, she had convinced him that Raphael’s song was a trick, that the ears left to hear it included his merregon minions and the displacer beast that had been prowling the room when they arrived.

With each deception she rattled off, she felt Halsin’s guiding hand on her back and heard his muttered incantations, bolstering her words and calming her nerves.

Now, to convince the fiend that his own ears betrayed him.

“I still hear it! Seems like you aren’t as clever as you think.” The orthon pointed his crossbow at them once more.

“Exactly, it’s Raphael’s final trick,” Tav said with a slight waver in her voice. "Kill yourself, complete the contract, and you’ll be reborn in Avernus. You’ll be free.”

He pondered her words for a moment, still keeping his crossbow aimed directly at her.

She could feel her companions’ held breath as they awaited his answer.

“Nicely played, little rabbit. You almost had me. Give Raphael my regards when I send you sniveling back to him in the hells.”

Well, it was worth a try.

Their group scattered just as he pulled the trigger, causing the arrow to shatter on the stone floor. After a few more frustrated roars and missed shots, he turned invisible.

“Ah, fuck me!” Karlach yelled. “Forgot they could do that.”

Despite his invisibility, Tav could hear the heavy steps of the orthon above them.

“I’ll get up high, try to get some better angles!” she called back. She cast a quick Misty Step to get to the balcony where they had last seen him.

“Tav, wait!” Astarion screamed at her just as she finished casting the spell.

She spun around once her feet hit solid ground again, ready to attack.

But instead of seeing the orthon, Tav saw an odd explosive.

There was a bright flash of light, painful and blinding, followed by a white-hot agony in her neck and torso. Then, everything faded to black.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Shadows of Grief

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,041

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav encounters a familiar face among the shadows. Part 28 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: If you were heartbroken at the end of the last chapter I have good news!! it gets worse.

“Tev?” Tav called out to him again.

She fell back onto the damp soil, staring in horror at the twisted version of her brother before her. Time seemed to slow down, her ears were ringing and the tears in her eyes blurred her vision. All of the air had been knocked from her lungs, making her chest heavy with grief as she gasped to catch her breath. The sight of Tev’aron consumed her, causing her trap of vines to disappear and allow the other enemies to approach unimpeded.

“Tav? TAV! What is she doing?!” She could hear Karlach trying to get her attention but couldn’t bring herself to take her eyes off Tev.

“I’ve got it,” Gale yelled back as he unleashed a massive line of lightning through most of the shadows.

She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it was all an illusion. A trick of the light, a cruel amalgam of her tired mind and the shadows stirring around her. Anything but this.

But when she opened them again, Tev’s twisted, snarling corpse had stood up once more and was stalking his way toward her. She looked up with pleading eyes, hoping that somehow she could still reason with this cursed shell of a man, that her brother was still in there somewhere.

Before she knew it, a flurry of jabs caused Tev’s body to fall to the ground, completely lifeless. With it, the small beacon of hope she had sheltered and kept lit for a hundred years – through winds and storms and gloom – was snuffed out in an instant.

“What in the hells was that Tav?!” Astarion yelled, standing above her. He was breathing heavily as he sheathed his daggers. Their other companions focused on taking down the last few enemies.

Tav didn’t respond, she just crawled over to Tev’s body and began to sob, laying her head on his chest. Every ounce of grief and sorrow she had locked away over the last century came crashing down on her. With a growling scream, she grabbed a nearby rock and hurled it into the darkness in front of them, desperate to relieve the despair she felt welling up inside of her.

“Fuck! Fuck this fucking curse! Fuck these shadows!” She sobbed and gagged in between the screams. “FUCK!”

She stood up and continued to grab anything she could find to throw – rocks, bones, clumps of dirt – screaming and cursing until her voice was hoarse and her lungs couldn’t take in enough air to make a sound.

Her companions moved out of the way to give her space, concern and confusion apparent on all their faces. Exhausted, she collapsed back down on the ground and lifted Tev up to hold his head against her chest. It had been a hundred years since she had seen his face. To see him like this now…

“Tev…I’m so sorry…” She whispered her sobbing apology over and over as her tears soaked into his matted curls. Her hands gently stroked his hair, pushing stray pieces from his face.

“Tav?” Astarion’s voice was much softer now.

She still couldn’t respond; she kept sobbing into his hair until her entire torso ached from the guttural cries. Her body rocked back and forth, knuckles turning white from gripping his body so tight. A warm, golden light shone behind her, and a moment later a pair of large arms wrapped around her shoulders. Halsin pulled her close to him as she clutched Tev against her chest.

“He deserved better than this,” she choked out with gasping breaths.

“I know, Tav. They all did,” he whispered against her temple.

“Who is he?” Gale asked quietly.

“Tev’aron…my brother.” She could barely get the words out before another wave of sobs took over her. “To think he’s been here all this time…”

“His suffering has ended now. He can be at peace.” Halsin tried to assure her.

“Peace? There’s no peace here. Look around you!” She was yelling again, unable to control her rising temper. “All hope and light have abandoned this place. What chance do we have against it?”

He recoiled slightly at her harsh words, adding a layer of guilt to her grief.

“We still have a chance, Tav. I have to believe that, and I think you do too.” She buried her head further into his chest. He placed one of his hands over hers, helping her hold Tev’s body up.

“I can’t leave him here,” she whispered as she stroked Tev’s cheek.

“Here, soldier. Let me.” Karlach had come over to kneel next to her, tear lines staining her cheeks. She held out her arms and helped lift his body off the ground. “We can at least give him a proper burial, yeah?”

Tav nodded, still sniffling, tears continuing to fall down her face. She allowed Karlach to take her brother’s body into her arms. Halsin helped her stand up, one arm around her shoulders to steady her. Gale appeared on her other side, offering an arm for her to take.

They made the short walk back to their camp where Karlach carefully set Tev’s body on the ground at the edge of the small clearing. Tav sat down next to him and reached out to hold one of his hands. She ran her other hand over his hollow, sunken cheeks. The feel of his cold skin brought more tears to her eyes, he was always so warm. His tattoo was just barely visible beneath the dirt and grime coating his entire body, the tattoo that they had gotten together after she joined the Harpers. At some point, Lunari had made her way over to her, resting her head in Tav’s lap with a low whine.

She could hear the others quietly explaining what happened to the rest of the party. Their words were soft enough that she couldn’t make out the details, but she didn’t care. 

Karlach came to sit with her after a while, putting a warm arm around her shoulders.

“I’m really sorry, soldier. I wish I could have met him.” Karlach sniffled with her words.

“You would have liked each other, I think. He always did have a weakness for the tough ones. You would have had him wrapped around your finger the moment he saw you throw a goblin across the room.” Tav smiled weakly as she leaned into Karlach.

“I like the sound of that. That means we could have been sisters, you and me.” Karlach gave a light laugh.

“We don’t need Tev for that. I’m happy to call you my sister anyway.” The tears in Tav’s eyes spilled over again. “I think I could use a sister right about now.”

She hugged Karlach tighter, grateful for the extra warmth. They sat there together for a while, Tav telling stories from their childhood. How Tev always snuck her extra fruit tarts, and how he was the one who first taught her how to use a bow. She told Karlach about the day the curse was released, how she and Tev had been separated for weeks due to the fighting.

Eventually, Halsin joined them. He knelt on the other side of Tav and took one of her hands.

“We’re ready when you are, my friend. Let us help you give him peace.” He helped her stand as Karlach picked Tev up again.

They joined the rest of their companions just outside of the camp, a small grave had been dug into the dirt in front of them. Tav took a deep, shaky breath and followed Karlach over to them. She took a moment to whisper one final goodbye in Tev’s ear, giving him a soft kiss on the top of his head.

As Karlach moved to set him down, a small piece of parchment in his jacket pocket caught her eye. She quickly snatched the envelope. It was a letter with a name scribbled on the front.

Ria M.

She took the letter and held it against her chest before stashing it in her pocket. She didn’t have the strength to read it here and now.

Slowly, Karlach lowered Tev into the narrow grave. The others had a light sheet to place over his body. As the thin fabric fell over his head, the tears came back with a vengeance as she realized that it was truly the last time she would see his face. Gale appeared at her side, presenting her with a shovel. With shaking hands, she took the tool from him and scooped up a small pile of dirt.

“Beneath the sun. Beneath the moon,” she began in Elvish as she dumped the shovel full of dirt into the grave.

“My spirit like leaves, blown far to sea. I sail away to night eternal.” More dirt covering his body as Tav’s hands began to work furiously to shovel the soft soil over him.

“Do not mourn.” Her voice caught on the words, the tears running down her cheeks to mix with the dirt stuck there. Her breathing became more and more ragged each time she drove the shovel into the ground.

“I shall be reborn...”

Tav’s hands slipped along the handle of the shovel, causing her to fall to the ground. She stayed kneeling there, clutching the shovel against her as she sobbed.

“Yet my heart shall always be with you.” Halsin finished the prayer as he took the shovel from her and moved in another batch of dirt. The others took turns moving the rest of it. They all helped her place rocks along the top to protect the fresh grave.

Tav knelt at the edge of her brother’s final resting place. The heartbreak she felt was unlike any she had experienced before, paralyzing her, making her numb to the cool evening air. Halsin placed a comforting hand on her shoulder causing her to lean into his touch.

“I’m sorry my friend, but I must make haste to Last Light. If I can speak with the Flaming Fist there, I may be able to find a way for us to be rid of these shadows forever.” His voice was so hopeful, she hated how bitter it made her feel.

“Of course. I’m sure a couple of the others would be happy to help get you back there.” She tried to smile at him even as her lips trembled. He gave her a puzzled look in response, like he had hoped she would still accompany him.

“I just need some time alone. Don’t worry, I won’t go far.” She grabbed a nearby torch and turned to walk away.

“I understand.” His voice was low and reserved.

Tav had selfishly hoped that he would offer to stay with her. But she understood. The sooner he could find out a way to be rid of these shadows for good, the better. She hoped the disappointment wasn’t too obvious in her expression. Lunari followed her, but Tav stopped and held out her hand.

“No, girl. Stay here.” The wolf whined in protest, but dropped her haunches into the dirt.

As she made her way towards the trees, dragging her feet in the dirt, she somehow managed to keep the rest of her tears in her eyes until she was out of view of the camp.

***

Halsin watched Tav shuffle away into the dark, her shoulders slumped and head hung low. He vividly remembered the feeling of seeing someone you love warped by this vicious curse. Despite his numerous friends and allies that fell here, he had been lucky to avoid such an ordeal since they had returned.

“You should go talk to her.” Karlach walked up beside him. “She’ll listen to you.”

“I have no words that can comfort this kind of grief, Karlach. She just needs time.” Even as he said the words, he didn’t truly believe them. “My focus must return to banishing these shadows, once and for all. For Tav and her brother…for everyone.” His chest tightened with each syllable.

“Hmph. I guess I was wrong then.” She sounded disappointed, maybe even angry.

“What do you mean?” he asked, confused. Karlach let out a long sigh.

“I thought that you liked her, that you cared about her, y’know? The way you two pair up around camp cuddling in front of the fire, the way you flirt even though you’re both terrible at it. Don’t think we haven’t all noticed how she’s the first person you check for injuries whenever we return to camp.” Karlach gave him a small smile.

“I do care for her, but you don’t know what you’re asking of me, Karlach. I’ve waited over a hundred years for this chance. I…I can’t risk losing it.” That familiar pull in his chest was irresistible, yearning to drag him after Tav. The invisible tether binding their hearts together was pulled even tighter with every step she took away from him.

“You wouldn’t even have that chance if it wasn’t for her!” Karlach yelled before releasing a heavy sigh to calm herself.

“If you’ve really waited that long, Halsin…what’s a couple more hours?” Her voice was softer now as she placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

Halsin considered her words for a moment. The last century worth of meditations and prayers had been filled with desperate pleas for answers, for knowledge. Knowledge that he could finally put to use. He thought back to his growing despair every time he reached out to try and find Thaniel, only to be met with silence. He thought back to the defeat he felt at his capture, truly believing he would die at the hands of the goblins, believing he had lost the chance to banish these shadows.

Then, he thought of Tav.

Alone, grieving, and full of guilt…just as he had been all those years ago. Just as he still was now. No one had come to comfort him. He had just been named Archdruid, he was given no time to mourn. Tav was the one who came to his rescue, she was the beacon of hope he had prayed for over the last century, his guiding light in a world of darkness. Thinking of her alone, surrounded by shadow was enough to nearly knock him to his knees.

Oak Father, forgive me.

Halsin took a deep breath and patted Karlach’s hand on his shoulder.

“You are a good friend, Karlach.” She grinned back at him. He started to move forward but turned back to her.

“Am I really that bad at flirting?” he asked.

“Yes,” Astarion’s voice called out from somewhere behind Karlach, she let out a loud laugh.

“Not as bad as Tav though. Go on, go get your girl, bear man.” She was still smiling at him.

He grabbed a torch and ran after Tav.

***

Tav didn’t know where she was going, just that she couldn’t sit around the campfire with everyone tonight. In her heart, she always knew that Tev had died, but some deep, dark part of her held on to the smallest sliver of hope. She hoped in her worst nights that he had escaped somewhere, that he was scouring the lands of Faerûn so they could be together once more. That hope kept her going through countless lows, the hope that maybe, just maybe, she could find her brother again.

Now, what did she have? A group of battered, exhausted adventurers, plagued with mind flayer tadpoles and a host of other problems. Hopeless pining after a druid who seemed so afraid of his past that he wasn’t willing to look for a future. Hundreds of years of life ahead of her, with no family and no one to share it with.

She stopped at a large tree with huge roots sticking out of the ground. There was a little divot between the roots big enough for her to sit in. She drove the end of her torch into the cold dirt, sitting next to it and leaning against the rough trunk. The ever-present chill in the air reminded her of her creeping loneliness. Pulling her legs close to her chest, she allowed her grief to consume her. The headache forming behind her eyes protested at her sobs. Her eyelids fluttered closed, desperate for rest she knew wouldn’t come.

Suddenly, she was sprinting through the streets of the Lower City, the cool stone scraping her bare feet. Tav’ahria was desperately trying to keep up with Tev’aron who was attempting to lead her to a safe house. They hadn’t said a word since they fled the party, they only ran. 

What remained of the train of her gown kept snagging on various objects as she dashed through alleys and around corners after Tev. And each time she would slice a shred of the soft fabric free with the dagger he had given her, frantically trying to keep herself from slowing down. She wasn’t sure if they were even being followed anymore, but she didn’t dare spare a glance behind her.

Eventually, Tev stopped and grabbed her arm to pull her into an inn. She took a moment to catch her breath, wiping away the sweat dripping from her brow. Many of the tiny braids weaved into her hair had come loose and were sticking out from her head in a wild pattern. The skirt of her dress hung around her knees in tattered shreds from cutting away the snagged pieces.

“Wait here, Ria. Don’t talk to anyone until I return.” He squeezed her shoulders lightly and disappeared into the small crowd.

She leaned her head back against the wall as she scanned the room before her. Patrons of all shapes, sizes, and colors talked and laughed among the tables. Pretty, young barmaids navigated their way around the room with expertise, spinning around drunken customers while delivering drinks and cleaning tables. 

The room had a liveliness that was unfamiliar to her. She had attended her fair share of parties and balls, but none felt as alive as this gathering in front of her. She was used to polite, idle chatter and elegant, stuffy music echoing off grand walls. But here…everyone was loud and crude, the only music came from a bard off in the corner who was being drowned out by those singing along to his songs.

The singing was terrible, the bard’s lute was in need of a good tuning, and the smell of ale mixed with something unidentifiable made her stomach churn a bit. Yet somehow, it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen in her long life. It took her a moment to identify the feeling.

Freedom.

The laughs and chatter around her brought tears to her eyes. She ached to meld into the crowd. To laugh and drink and play cards until the sun started to rise. Without thinking, she took a step forward, longing to feel as carefree as everyone around her.

“Ria!” Tev reappeared beside her. “This way.” He tilted his head towards a door to the side of the building. He had grabbed a cloak and threw it around her shoulders, pulling the hood up over her head to obscure her appearance. 

She gave one last wistful look to the room behind her as he pulled her into another alley. Tears flowed down her cheeks, cooling her face with the evening breeze.

“Hey, hey…” Tev turned to face her once they were outside. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” She smiled up at him as she wiped the tears away using the cloak he had given her. Unable to help herself, she started to laugh uncontrollably. He gave her a worried look.

“I’m free…I can do what I want. I can laugh and drink and curse and dance and…” The smile on her face kept getting wider and wider. “I can do whatever it is normal people do. Why did I wait this long? Why did I stay there?”

Tev gave her a hug that threatened to crush her spine. She hugged him back and cried into his shoulder.

“Come on, our ride should be here any minute. The Harpers have enclaves everywhere, we can lay low for a while to make sure we’re safe.” Tev pulled away and smiled down at her.

He led her to the edge of the alley where it met the road, peering around the corner. A small horse-drawn cart was making its way towards them. It slowed as it approached the alley, and Tev quickly tugged her toward the back of it. He pulled her up to sit among the crates and barrels as it resumed its traveling speed. The person up front turned to give a nod to Tev, which he returned. The cart bounced along the cobblestone roadways as it made its way toward the outskirts of the Lower City, causing their shoulders to bump together periodically.

A welcome fog started to settle over the city, giving them even more cover to make their escape. The lights dimmed in the mist as it swirled around her face to form a light layer of cold moisture on her skin.

Tav’ahria wrapped the cloak she was wearing tight around her body, trying to fight off the evening chill. Tev put one arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. She sighed as she leaned on his shoulder, her eyelids starting to feel heavy.

“You came back,” she whispered.

“Of course I did.” He leaned his head down to rest on hers. “I’ll always come back for you, Ria.”

Tav blinked and returned to the shadows, still as heavy and dark as they were one hundred years ago. She had searched for Tev for months after the curse was unleashed. Desperately seeking anyone who had witnessed the battle to inquire about his whereabouts. For years after, she kept tabs on Harper safe houses and enclaves, hoping that he would make his way through their underground network. No one knew his fate, whether he fell to a sword or succumbed to the curse, or if he was hiding out somewhere, still alive and awaiting a rescue that would never come.

But she knew now. He had been trapped here all this time, being warped by this wicked, unnatural darkness. The guilt she felt was crushing her, she felt unable to move under its weight.

“I should have come back for you, Tev…” she whispered the words, knowing they would disappear into the shadows.

Who would come back for her now? Who would drag her from these nightmares and run with her to safety?

You’re just a lonely little flower again, wilting away in the dark.

***

Tav’s footprints led Halsin to a small, nearby clearing. There was a large tree at its edge, and he found her curled up against the trunk, nestled among bulky roots. He called out to her in a gentle voice.

“Tav?” No response, only stifled sniffles. He took a few more steps toward her.

“May I come sit?” he asked, waiting for any invitation to do so. She nodded, the movement barely visible with her shoulders heaving.

He sat close to her, the rough bark of the tree scratching against his clothing. Tentatively, he reached out to place a hand on her back. Her shoulders were tense, and it felt like her entire body was shaking.

“I thought you were going back to Last Light.” Her voice was raspy and strained.

“It can wait just a bit longer. I think I belong here with you right now.” Karlach’s words echoed in his mind.

“I’m so sorry you had to see him like this, Tav…” he trailed off, slowly stroking her back.

“I can’t stand the thought of him being here, Halsin. Buried away in a strange land, without even the sun to shine on his grave.”

A sadness most familiar to him as well. His entire family had passed, but at least they rested in their home of High Forest. There was little he wouldn’t do to ensure they didn’t have to spend eternity in a place like this.

“It doesn’t have to be this way forever.” His own voice was beginning to crack. “We can bring the light back to Moonrise.”

She turned to look at him, her face lined with the trails from her tears. Not a trace of hope could be seen in her reddened eyes. He held his other arm out, inviting her to come lean against him. Her bottom lip started quivering, and she dove into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder. She had both arms wrapped tight around his waist, clinging to him as if he was her only anchor to the ground. The sudden movement startled him, but he quickly relaxed into her warm embrace.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she mumbled into his shirt between sobs.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I know all too well the pain of being back in this accursed forest.” He leaned his head down to rest on hers.

They sat huddled against the tree together. The only sounds were Tav’s cries, slowly calming as she relaxed in his arms. He felt a surprising amount of relief sitting here, holding her.

I have given you all that you need. Find your balance. You know the way.

The Oak Father’s words drifted to the front of his mind.

Perhaps you don’t have to do this alone.

Halsin was the one to finally break the silence.

“For decades I have begged Silvanus’s favor, desperate for answers. I have been so consumed by grief and despair, so convinced that I had to banish this ancient evil on my own, that I could not see the gift he finally sent me.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing.

“Even when she dragged me from the maws of the goblin camp.”

Tav tilted her head to look up at him, wiping a line of tears and snot from her face. A few of the stray hairs from her braid were now stuck to her cheeks.

“Now that I have you here with me, I’ve come to realize that I cannot do this alone.” Admitting this to her was a weight being lifted from his shoulders. He peeled the stray strands from her face and tucked them behind her ears.

“Do you really have a way to lift the curse?” she asked.

“Perhaps. I won’t know for sure until I can talk with the Flaming Fist. If Thaniel is alive, I need more information to guide me. I can’t just charge in blind, or I’ll likely end up lost myself.” He could hear the frustration creeping into his voice.

Tav studied him for a while. With each passing moment, the look in her eyes became more and more intense.

“Then…we’ll find a way to wake him up. We won’t leave this place until the shadows are banished. Forever.” There was a sudden strength in her words that made his heartbeat quicken.

“I’ve already asked so much of you.” The strength in his own words faltered as hers grew.

“You aren’t asking. I’m offering.” Her eyes had cleared and the hopelessness he had seen before was now replaced with determination. “If you think it can be done, we’ll make it happen.”

Halsin’s breathing became unsteady, looking into her eyes brought all the desire of the past weeks to the front of his mind. Finally, he had someone to share this burden with, someone who understood his pain. For so long, he had pushed away any possible distraction, and now he found himself so close to achieving his goals…but that selfish ache returned to his chest.

He leaned forward to rest his forehead on hers before giving her the softest of kisses. Their lips just barely brushed against each other. It was all he could afford right now. The light touch was still enough to send his heart aflutter.

She blinked at him a few times after he pulled away. A surprised smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. He took one of her hands in his and held it against his chest.

“I care about you, Tav,” he whispered, struggling to contain the urge to take her into his arms for the night, to feel every inch of her skin pressed against his own. “I know that you wish for us to be more than this but…” He closed his eyes and sighed.

“My guilt and my duty to this land have weighed on me for some time. One day I hope my heart will be free to roam again but until then…I’m afraid that this is all I have to offer for now.” He looked down at the ground, almost ashamed to admit it.

Tav’s other hand came up to rest on his cheek, her thumb tracing the lines on his face. She moved her hand up to the hair falling around his ears, allowing her fingers to gently run through the strands. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned into her touch.

“I’ll take it.”  She put her head back down on his shoulder and hugged him closer to her. He wrapped his arms back around her to hold her in place, a relieved sigh escaping from his lips.

I’ll take it.

He never knew those three words could sound so sweet.

“Okay, enough wallowing.” Tav sniffled after a few minutes and stood up, wiping the tears from her face. “We need to get you to Last Light.”

“Are you sure? If you’re not feeling up for it yet, I’m sure the others can get me there.”

“I’m sure. Let’s send this curse back up Shar’s fucking ass where it belongs.” She held her hand out to help him up. A proud grin came over his face.

There’s that righteous rage.

“I need no further encouragement.” Halsin let her pull him to his feet. She threw her arms around his neck once more in a hug.

“Thank you, Halsin,” she whispered against his shoulder.

“Anytime, Tav.” He pulled her tight against him as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. She tried to pull away, but he held her there a few moments longer, not quite ready to let go and face his destiny just yet.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Balance

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,173

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

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Summary: The tadfools learn about the purpose of Astarion's scars. Arabella comes to terms with her parents' deaths. Part 37 of the slow burn fic. Tav, Astarion, and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Chapters 37 AND 38 are being posted today!! Have a couple of fun camp chapters before we go back to the Gauntlet :)

Astarion kept his eyes fixed on Tav as she turned away.

My name is Ria…

He recalled a story, one that graced a handful of editions in the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette and other lesser tabloids in the city. A silver-haired beauty, fleeing from a lavish engagement party, shooting many attendees and even family members in the process. Hers was a name he remembered well; a name that had given him hope. A name that had allowed him to live vicariously through her daring escape.

Tav’ahria Mendelre.

He had only met Lady Mendelre once and “met” was perhaps a strong word for the encounter.

It was a particularly terrible evening with Cazador. Not that there were any good evenings with him, but this one stuck out among many of the events where he was dragged along as his personal escort.

There was an event at Wyrm’s Rock, some celebration of sorts that he couldn’t be bothered to remember the details of. He remembered a young elf, no older than forty, dancing and laughing with another young man. Her long, white hair twirled to the same rhythm as her dress. The red and orange fabric looked like flames swirling out around her ankles each time she was spun under the man’s arms.

Cazador’s eyes had been drawn to her immediately. Astarion had recognized that predatory stare that haunted most of his dreams. His nightmares.

Now, his master wasn’t so stupid as to make her a target. There was a reason he sent his spawn to the grimy, desolate flophouses and taverns of Baldur’s Gate. Few would miss a lonely beggar or drunkard, even if they did, they didn’t have the power to do anything about it once they were gone.

But if someone like Tav’ahria Mendelre went missing? Well, that would cause quite a stir, wouldn’t it? So that night, Cazador was likely just trying to lay on the charm, to find yet another person to help cover his tracks and line his pockets.

He had glided up to her with such confidence, the same way he approached any of his spawn or servants. But when he took her hand and gave her a low bow, she simply looked down her nose at him. A spurious smile twisted her lips as she indulged him for a moment – a picture of noble civility.

Astarion watched from a distance as Lord Mendelre came to his daughter’s side, not even bothering with a polite look as he sneered back at Cazador.

For the first time since he had been turned, he had the pleasure of watching someone have power and influence over his cruel master. And it was delightful. Everyone in the city knew hers was not a family you crossed. Not unless you wanted to have an unfortunate "accident" conveniently cleaned up by the City Watch the next day.

As he was lost in the sensation of seeing Cazador’s embarrassment, he had let a small laugh slip out at the sight. He paid dearly for that little lapse in judgement.

Cazador had pulled him close, keeping a bruising grip on his arm for the rest of the night, the harsh movement but a drop in the sea of pain that would follow. But what Astarion really remembered was how Lady Mendelre had smiled at him. The first in decades to look at him like a person instead of an object. The smile she aimed at him wasn’t the fake, polite smile she had flashed at Cazador, but one that was bright and warm.

A smile not unlike the one he had just seen from Tav.

Honestly, Tav. If you truly wanted to hide your identity you shouldn’t have just shortened your name again. You could have at least dyed your hair, you idiot.

He fought an eye roll at the thought. Though he supposed there were few people left who would have known about that night, especially among their group of adventurers. Of course, all of this could be just another bizarre coincidence, but he felt that they were running short on those.

Astarion bit back the quips and teases he felt on the tip of his tongue. Every part of him itched to poke and prod her, try to get her to admit something, anything. He still felt that instinct tugging at his mind to find any information that he could hold and use against her. After all, ties to the Mendelre family were not the most innocent of connections to have.

But those thoughts melted away when she turned back around and smiled at him.

Yes. Yes, I remember that smile now.

Strangely enough, he believed Tav when she said he owed her nothing. But he would do this favor for her regardless.

Your secret is safe with me, my friend.

***

The first thing Halsin saw when he arrived back at camp was Tav sitting with Astarion by the fire. She looked much better than when he left her there this morning. Karlach and Shadowheart were close behind him. Each of them had one of Gale’s arms slung around their necks helping him walk back to camp.

Both Astarion and Tav shot concerned looks their way as their companion was practically dragged between the two women over to the fire.

“I must say, you are looking rather healthy compared to when I saw you last, Tav.” Gale’s words were slurred as he tried to point a finger at her. Shadowheart let his arm drop as they approached.

“Good gods, Gale.” Tav held her arm up over her nose as his breath puffed out in a stiff, alcoholic cloud. “Are you…are you drunk?”

“Ah, yes. ‘Twas a creature in the old distillery, redolent of a liquor stronger than I could imagine,” he said with great effort. “He asked for stories in exchange for drink, and I was most inclined to acquiesce his requests. Even before I met you lot, I had plenty a tale to titillate the bystanders among even the most minacious of Waterdeep taverns. I have been known in my time to deescalate brawls in such establishments, talking its participants down with no scarcity of aplomb.”

“You sure they didn’t just get bored by your yapping and leave?” Karlach still had one arm around his waist to steady him.

“Gosh,” Gale threw his hand over his chest, offended, “I know my ears must be deceiving me. Surely you wouldn’t question those abilities after you bore witness to my talents in such circumstances?”

“Where do you store all these fancy words when you’ve been drinking, wizard?” she cackled as she helped him to a seat by the fire.

“Well, let me ponder that rumination for a moment, my friend.” Gale held a finger to his lips, lost in fake thought. “After careful deliberation I do believe that I have arrived at the supposition that I store them up your ass.”

Another bout of roaring laughter rang from Karlach. “Fuck me, that was some strong stuff he was serving you.”

“Yes, well, needless to say I shall be sticking to my carefully curated selection of fine wines from here on out.”

“Care to translate that for us?” Tav turned to smile at Halsin.

“We met two more cursed beings in town. One in the distillery and one in the old tollhouse.” Tav scooted closer to Astarion on the log they were sharing so Halsin could sit next to her. “They were much like you described the doctor from the House of Healing.”

“How so?” She rested a hand on his back, rubbing slow, small circles between his shoulders.

A welcome relief after their exhausting day. Halsin still hadn’t quite adjusted to the adventuring life, especially now that he was spending each day in battles and fighting through any other perils they found in between. It had been some time since he had gone in and out of his wild shape so many times in a day, not to mention the enervation of his constant spellcasting – whether it be for healing or used against their foes.

“These beings still maintained more of their sentience. Both of them spoke to us, talking about guarding the Thorm family’s secrets.” Halsin recalled their fights with both large monstrosities with Tav and Astarion. One filled to burst with a strange brew, the other coated head to toe in gold and demanding more.

“WHAT DO YOU BRING?!” Karlach shouted in a mocking voice, startling a yelp out of them. She and Wyll just laughed. Halsin felt Tav’s hand drop from his back, and he hoped the disappointment wasn’t too plain on his face.

“Well,” Tav responded once she caught her breath again, “I’m glad to see you all made it back safely at least. Did you–”

She stopped mid-sentence and sat up a little straighter.

“Please tell me my head injury isn’t fully healed and that’s why I smell sulfur,” Tav groaned.

“Do you know what happens when a devil is struck down on this charming plane of existence?”

The sound of Raphael’s voice caused everyone to throw their heads back in exasperation.

“It returns to the hells – to the very point where it last stood before venturing to whichever devilforsaken plane it died on. In the case of our mutual friend Yurgir, he manifested in my House of Hope.” Raphael held his hands out to inspect his nails, projecting nonchalance.

“A deal’s a deal, devil,” Astarion snapped, standing up to glare at him. “We killed your orthon, now tell me what you know about these scars.”

“Tut, tut,” Raphael’s smooth, crooning voice made Halsin’s skin crawl. “I find that the foreplay is almost better than the deed itself. The anticipation, the buildup, the–”

“We’ve had more than enough buildup, Raphael,” Tav interrupted. “You’ve kept him waiting long enough. Why didn’t you come yesterday once you knew the orthon was dead?”

“Oh, little flower, I heard you had gotten hurt. Surely you do not think I would let you miss something as delicious as this.” Raphael winked at her before turning his attention back to Astarion.

Little flower.

Once again, Halsin saw Tav flinch away from his words. The first time he saw the devil in Last Light, he thought he had imagined it.

“Brace yourself vampling and listen close as I reveal your destiny.”

***

Tav watched Astarion pace in front of them once Raphael had left. He was muttering to himself and making erratic hand gestures.

The Rite of Profane Ascension.

Raphael’s reveal of his scars’ purpose left Tav with her skin feeling prickly and gross. He said Cazador would have to sacrifice a “number” of souls…but how many?

“Astarion?” Tav called out gently.

He whipped around to face her, a manic look in his eyes.

“Talk to us. What are you thinking?” She kept her voice soft.

“I…I don’t know,” he stammered. “If what Raphael said was true, I would have expected Cazador to send more lackeys to hunt me down. So far, all we’ve seen is one Gur.”

“Well, we are in the midst of the shadow curse,” Halsin offered. “As you’ve seen, it is a difficult land to traverse. The Underdark is not much safer, either. Perhaps they were felled before they could make it to you.”

“Or perhaps the tadpole is preventing Cazador from being able to locate you?” Wyll chimed in next.

“Perhaps…” Astarion started pacing again.

“I don’t know that I would put so much stock in luck, my friends.” Gale’s words were still a bit slurred. “At least if our previous experiences are anything to go on.”

Small nods and grumbles of agreement sounded among them.

“Regardless, I knew he wouldn’t leave me alone even when I was just another one of his wretched toys. Now…” Astarion let out a frustrated grunt. “If I’m the key to this power he craves, he’ll hunt me to the ends of Faerûn and beyond.”

Tav nodded slowly, realizing before he even said his next words what he was going to ask.

“If I won’t be free while he’s alive, I suppose I’ll just have to kill the bastard.” He turned to face Tav again. “And I’m going to need some help.”

She froze, the panic likely obvious on her face. The fact of the matter was that Cazador Szarr lived in Baldur’s Gate. A city to which she had never planned on returning.

“Don’t worry Fangs,” Karlach came up and put a hand on his shoulder, “we’re not going to let Cazador touch you again. Right, sis?”

Tav remained still, thinking through her options as everyone looked at her expectantly. The guilt she felt gnawing at her for her hesitation was immediately doubled by the look of disappointment on Astarion’s face.

“Of course we aren’t, Astarion.”

He relaxed a little, but still looked skeptical.

“I’m sorry, this is just a lot to take in, is all.” Tav joined Karlach at his side. “You know I won’t let him hurt you again if I can help it.”

“You hesitated.” Astarion stared her down.

“I…I haven’t been back to Baldur’s Gate in a very long time. Honestly, I had never planned on returning.” Tav took a deep breath. “But I would go back to help you, love.”

Another flash of distant recognition crossed his features, less fleeting this time as he studied her face.

“I appreciate that, Tav.” He relaxed after a moment. “We need to find out about the ritual. If we can get to the city, perhaps we can learn more. And who knows…”

Astarion’s expression darkened, a look that sent a chill down her spine.

“Perhaps there could be an opportunity for me to take his place.”

Tav had no idea what his ritual would cost, she still didn’t quite understand its full purpose. But she had a feeling that letting Astarion complete it would be unwise.

“One thing at a time, love.” It was the only thing she could think to say.

“You’re right, of course. I’m getting ahead of myself.” Astarion waved a hand in the air. “Still…the thought of being able to walk in the sun again…without a mind flayer parasite…”

He stared off into the distance, wearing a soft smile. The look on his face was so hopeful…

Tav hated thinking that she might have to squash that hope.

Astarion started to walk toward his tent, still looking pensive. When he was about halfway there, he turned back around.

“Thank you, again.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I wouldn’t have any of this information without you. Without any of you.”

She smiled in response, feeling a small wave of relief hearing such sincerity from him. Seeming a bit embarrassed, he disappeared into his tent.

“Are you okay?” Halsin nudged her arm.

“Of course,” Tav sighed. “Just…just a little worried about him.”

He nodded, staring after Astarion alongside her.

“It’s just…no matter the outcome, completing such an intricate, ancient ritual given by a devil seems risky to say the least. And not just a devil, Mephistopheles himself.”

“I’m inclined to agree.”

Tav’s heart rate quickened, and her eyes welled up.

“And what if we find the Absolute here at Moonrise? What if we find a way to be rid of these tadpoles?”

Halsin arched an eyebrow at her.

“How will he be able to face Cazador without the tadpole? I’m worried that he’ll just be compelled back into slavery.” Tav choked back tears at the thought. She felt Halsin tug her close to his side.

“One problem at a time, my friend.” He let out a deep breath after speaking.

If only our ever-growing list of problems would follow that advice.

***

An air of trepidation hung over the camp after their most recent encounter with Raphael. The reveal of the purpose of Astarion’s scars had left them all feeling a touch more dejected than earlier in the day.

The shout Halsin heard across camp did nothing to help that mood.

Arabella was speaking to Withers; the conversation had turned rather heated.

He jogged behind Tav over to the pair. The young tiefling’s face was twisted with anger and grief.

“They’re dead…”

“Listen,” Withers spoke in his hushed, unhurried tone. “Thou must find the balance within.”

“No…I can’t…”

Halsin and Tav had reached her side. She reached out for Arabella as she sobbed.

“No!” Arabella screamed again as a wave of energy slammed into them, sending Tav stumbling backward.

“Listen! Dost thou not hear it?” Withers called out to her. “Where creation meets ruin, where morning meets midnight – the root of all being.”

Arabella continued to take heaving breaths. Halsin could just make out her hands trembling.

“Balance.” Withers had softened his tone once more.

“Balance,” Arabella sighed, tears still streaking her face.

Halsin could feel the raw, untamed power radiating from her. Her magic as wild as the source from which it came, and heavy with the grief she felt at her loss.

“The girl must learn to control her arcane abilities – but she shan’t remain here to do so.” Withers turned to address Tav.

“Excuse me?” Tav whipped around to glare at him. Halsin hung his head, already knowing what he was going to say.

“Arabella’s power is unbalanced, she holds abilities beyond reckoning. Her power was born of the decaying forest, and the seedling that bore it.”

Despite his best efforts, it seemed Arabella’s magic had indeed been touched by the Shadow Weave. As hard as it was to admit, it was a distant hope that he could have prevented it. Growing one’s powers in a cursed place such as this was bound to have lasting effects.

“Once thou dost leave these accursed lands, Arabella will depart from thee.”

The young tiefling ran over to Tav, wrapping her arms around one of her legs. Her soft sobs were muffled by her pants, her tail curling loosely around Tav’s ankle.

“I’m not sending her out alone.” Tav held her glare as Arabella continued to cling to her.

“THOU MUST!” Withers shouted back, startling both her and Halsin.

“Bone Man, you’re making me leave?” Arabella sniffled back at him.

“Thou hast nothing to fear, girl. The Weave knows thy purpose and shall provide. It will guide thee, if thou dost listen.” Withers had returned to his normal soft cadence of speaking. He held his hand out for a moment and closed his eyes.

Halsin felt Arabella’s anguish, once heavy and unyielding, start to float away. A light came down to cover the dark power within and cloak her in its warmth.

Tentatively, she let go of Tav before looking around in wonder.

“Is that my future?” she asked softly. “Is that why they died?”

“It is,” Withers replied with a nod of his head.

“It’s wonderful…” Arabella looked all around her, watching the pieces of her future invisible to the rest of them.

The warmth he felt began to fade as she absorbed the feeling into her own power.

Then, he heard a familiar giggle.

Thaniel and Oliver popped out of the nearby trees to stand beside Arabella.

“Don’t be scared, little tiefling,” Thaniel laughed.

“Yeah, you’ll be back here soon, and we can play again! We’ve seen it!” Oliver said with a smile.

“Remember,” Thaniel reached out to take one of her hands, “if you open your heart, nature will listen. Let the light guide your way.”

“The shadow will always be there,” Oliver warned, “but you can wield the light to keep it away.”

Halsin watched in awe, realizing Arabella’s new purpose had taken on a deeper meaning than he had originally thought. A piece of the shadows would live on in her forever, securing them away from the world. Should she learn how to control it, how to find balance with the light within her, she could prevent them from ever returning.

It would seem that the Oak Father had chosen an anchor of sorts. A heavy burden, but one he had no doubt Arabella would be well suited for.

“Arabella…” Tav knelt to her level.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you so much.” Arabella turned with a smile on her tear-stained face.

“Don’t apologize, love.” Tav held her arms open, and Arbella threw herself into them. “I’m sorry you won’t be able to stay with us.”

“That’s okay,” she sniffled into her shoulder. “As long as there are people like you around, maybe everything will be alright.”

Once she let go of Tav, she came over to Halsin.

“Thanks for trying to teach me. I guess I have to do some more learning before we can practice together again.”

“I look forward to it, little one.” He held out a hand to her, but she wrapped her arms around his waist instead.

Halsin heard the small sniffles from Tav as Arabella let go of him.

“And thank you, Bone Man. For being…nice.”

Withers gave her a small nod of his head. Tav pointedly avoided his gaze as she followed Arabella across camp.

Halsin knew that Tav would have trouble accepting Arabella’s new path. It was difficult enough for him and he had a more fundamental understanding of why she would have to walk it alone.

“You’ve helped her a great deal,” he said to Withers after Arabella had walked away.

“Where matters of balance are concerned, thou shall find me.” He spoke in his typical quiet, deliberate tone.

“Were my instincts correct? Is she to serve Silvanus? Preventing the shadows from returning by concealing them within her own power?” Halsin asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.

Withers’ lips twitched into what he could only assume was a smirk.

“The girl shall be a light in darkness, and the weight to tip scales back to their proper balance. So I have spoken, so it shall be.”

A cryptic answer from our resident riddle master. What else did you expect?

Halsin took the finality in his tone to mean they were done speaking, so he made his way back to his tent so he could at last change out of his armor. His arms continued to ache from the previous day and his eyes already stung with the need for rest, but he still felt jittery.

Rather than turning in early, he grabbed his whittling tools and a chunk of wood he had been chipping away at. He went back to the center of camp to work by the light of the fire. The others were still milling around, chatting about the day.

Tav and Karlach stood with Arabella, Karlach sharing Tav’s sour expression as she likely filled her in on Withers’ orders. He watched as Tav pulled a small neckalce from her bag and held it out to Arabella. She took the trinket in her hands before staring back up at Tav, tears shining in her eyes once more. She threw her arms around her waist and held the locket up to her chest. Tav walked around to help secure it around her neck so she could run off to play.

Despite it all though, Arabella looked happy. Like she had already embraced her new purpose. Among the worry and sorrow he felt at the thought of her leaving, Halsin still had hope. He hoped that she would find the balance within. That she would find the peace she needed from her grief and hardship.

It wasn’t long before Thaniel and Oliver came to join her again, speaking soft enough that he couldn’t make out their words.

Arabella was giggling at something Thaniel said to her. A nostalgic ache seized his chest watching them play. Part of him wished she could remain here, learning from him and Oliver, but it would be some time before this land healed. Too long for her to remain here and risk warping her power further.

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulled his attention away.

“I wondered if I might hear your opinions on our little friend’s abilities.” Halsin looked up to see Gale standing in front of him. He seemed to have sobered up a bit. Shadowheart must have finally taken pity on him.

“I’m still not quite sure what to make of them, if I can be honest,” he sighed. “To have been blessed from the idol, she indeed would have needed to win Silvanus’s favor. But the way Withers spoke…”

He shook his head, still trying to make sense of Arabella’s place in all of this.

“He speaks as though she is an anchor of sorts. But those are typically chosen by Mystra, not the other gods. I do not know how or why the Oak Father would attempt to make her one in his stead.”

“Mystra will not take kindly to another god attempting to anchor the Weave.” Gale took a seat next to him on the ground.

“I don’t know that he is attempting to anchor the Weave itself within her. This curse was a horrible blight on this land, Gale. Locking Thaniel away for a century, shrouding what was once a sanctuary in darkness.” Halsin took a deep, steadying breath, not wanting to let his anger get the best of him. “It was a slight against Silvanus himself and something tells me he simply wants to prevent it from happening again. Even if it means causing Mystra some grief.”

“Bah,” Gale waved his hand dismissively. “Honestly, Mystra needs to get her magical knickers in a twist every now and then. It doesn’t take much, I’m afraid. I think she needs to be reminded from time to time that her followers aren’t the only ones who rely on the Weave.”

Halsin could hear his tone souring with every word. “Regardless, I am sure there was some level of negotiating that had to happen between them to make this a reality.”

“I hope for her sake that’s true.” Gale’s voice had quieted. “Mortals who have their souls fought over by the gods do not tend to be long for this world.”

Halsin spared another glance at Arabella, still playing with Oliver, Thaniel, and now their animal companions across camp. He hoped that she could at least enjoy the time she had left in her childhood before the crushing weight of responsibility fell on her shoulders.

“Perhaps Mystra favored this outcome as well. After all, she has no love of the Shadow Weave, or Shar, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Oh, you are very correct, my friend,” Gale chuckled. “She does not approve of wizards pulling from the Shadow Weave. After all, Shar did at one point seek to replace the Weave with her own distorted version of it. Even I must exercise caution in my spellcasting while we remain in these cursed lands, lest I draw from the wrong side.”

“Then I suppose that would be our best hope for our young friend.”

Gale contemplated his next words carefully.

“If that is the case, I would not be surprised to find her receiving an unexpected visit from Elminster.”

“Is that so?” Halsin set aside the chunk of wood he had been whittling. He had finally gotten the curve of it just right, but his hands were starting to cramp.

“Oh yes,” he smiled, but it was a sad and pensive look, “I was a year younger than her when he first came to me. I had just conjured a fireball of sorts, destroying a rose bush. I hid behind my mother’s skirts, sure I was to be taken away for my crime. Elminster simply smiled and assured me they would grow back.”

“I do not know much of Elminster aside from the legends told of him.” Halsin took a shaky breath. “Will he help her? Will he look after her?”

Gale considered the question for a moment. “He will help and guide her to the best of his abilities. Despite my own…shortcomings, Elminster was a good friend and an even better teacher. The rest will be up to her.”

“Then we shall have to trust in our gods’ judgement, and hope she is up to the task.”

“Something that’s easier said than done for me of late.” Gale’s eyes had grown distant as he stared into the flames.

Halsin reached up to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, thank you for indulging me, Halsin,” Gale slapped his knees as he stood up. “I suppose we’ll just have to admire her efforts from afar for now.”

“Anytime, my friend.”

Gale’s company was quickly replaced by Tav and Karlach’s.

“Whatcha makin’ bear man?” Karlach had plopped on one side of him with Tav on the other.

He glanced at the tools and piece of wood sitting at his feet and fought the urge to glance at Tav.

“I’m not quite sure yet,” he lied. “Often times I don’t know what a piece will turn into until its well underway.”

“Oooh, mysterious,” Karlach cooed at him. He hoped his face didn’t look as warm as it felt.

“Are the two of you alright? I saw you speaking with Arabella.”

“I’m better,” Tav sighed. “I…I understand if she has to go. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss that little hellion.” Karlach was watching the children play.

“What was that necklace you gave her?” He turned to ask Tav.

Her eyes welled as she watched the game of chase continue before them.

“It was her mother’s. Komira gave it to me as a gift after convincing Kagha to let her go. I…I couldn’t bring myself to sell it. Something about it felt very sentimental.”

Thaniel said something indecipherable to Arabella as he pointed at the locket. He made some hand gestures that almost looked like he was casting a spell. She mimicked the movements and suddenly a few bright orbs of light burst into existence around them.

All three children shrieked with delight as they chased the lights around the camp. Scratch barked at each orb and tried to pounce at them, the light dissipating under his paws. Halsin’s chest tightened as he took one of Tav’s hands.

“Well, how wonderful it is that you were able to give Arabella something to remember her by.” He smiled watching them all play together, the lights shining around them not the only thing brightening their little camp. “And not to mention provide an endless source of entertainment it would seem.”

“That’s a good point, Hal!” Karlach stood up to chase after them as well, causing more excited screams from the kids.

“Hal?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.

“She’s trying out new nicknames for everyone,” Tav snickered.

While they enjoyed the heartwarming scene of Thaniel, Oliver, and Arabella swarming a prone Karlach, Shadowheart came over to stand in front of them, her hands crossed in front of her, thumbs nervously warring with each other.

“Okay, I’ve made my decision.” She took a deep breath.

They waited patiently for her to continue. Tav looked at Halsin, confused. He hadn’t gotten a chance to brief her on their conversations from the day. “I’m ready for the trials. Tomorrow, we’ll return to the Gauntlet.”

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 39

Chapter 39: Trials of Shar

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,006

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

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Summary: The gang returns to the Gauntlet to help Shadowheart face Shar's trials. Part 39 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: aka Tav and Halsin are not happy to be back in Shar's temple. I tried to keep this from being just a straight re-telling of the trials so I hope you like my take on it! Enjoy some sweet dialogue between these two idiots <3

The Soft-Step Trial

They had arrived at Shar’s temple once more. Three trials awaited them according to Balthazar. Tav walked down the stairs to the first door. A small plaque was embedded in the floor beneath her.

Her Most Vaunted Treasure.

“The first trial…” Shadowheart took an uneasy breath as she gazed on the doors.

“You’re sure this is the path forward?” Tav asked. She could feel her nerves standing on end.

“Certain.”

“Very well. I’ll trust your judgement for these trials, Shadowheart.” Tav let out a deep sigh.

“I…appreciate that, Tav.” Shadowheart gave her a small nod of her head.

Through the massive doors, they entered a chamber that almost looked like a prison. Tav could have sworn it had grown colder. The very air inside seemed to reject her; the deep chill of the shadow curse she hadn’t felt since receiving the pixie blessing returned to seep into her bones.

She shared a look with Halsin, feeling a small stab of guilt for wishing he had a tadpole she could use to communicate with him in silence. Luckily, the look on his face was more than enough confirmation that he felt the same way.

“But it…it’s probably best if Halsin and I don’t participate,” Tav suggested as she looked up at the statue carved in Shar’s likeness. The ritual bowl in front of her was stained with the blood of all those that came before them. Their life’s essence spilled in honor of their demanding goddess.

“Come on, Tav,” Karlach whined, “I thought we were past this.”

“It’s not that, Karlach.” She turned to Shadowheart. “It’s like you said, we need to get into that inner sanctum. Having two people who actively fought against Shar and her forces a century ago fumbling through her trials may not be the best way to curry additional favor with her.”

Tav tried not to show how relieved the thought made her feel.

“Damn it,” Shadowheart hissed. “she’s right. I’ve come too far to take any chances with this.”

“We’ll be right outside though, ready to heal and help where we can. At least without risking your success.”

“I understand,” Shadowheart said softly. “Besides, it seems like this trial may be best done with only one person.”

The small maze before them was crawling with shadows and wraiths. It looked like there was something in the back of the room, but Tav couldn’t quite make it out.

“Oh!” Gale exclaimed, rummaging through his bag. “Here, Shadowheart, this may help.”

He held out a small vial on a chain. The shimmery silver liquid sloshed around as it swung like a pendulum in his hand.

“Invisibility potion,” he said with a wink, “should make sneaking past those wraiths look like child’s play.”

“Thank you, Gale.” Shadowheart snatched the potion with a grateful smile.

“Here,” Tav also pulled a scroll out of her own bag. “In case that potion wears off too quickly.” She handed her an Invisibility scroll.

“Oh,” Shadowheart hesitated briefly as she reached out to take it, “thank you.”

“We’ll be out here when you’re done.” Tav tilted her head toward the entrance. “Uh, good luck, Shadowheart.”

As the large doors closed behind them, concealing their companions, Tav and Halsin opted to lean on the short wall overlooking the fortress while they waited.

They stood in comfortable silence for a while, staring at the absurdly large statue of Shar in the middle of the temple. How did they manage to even make one that large?

“Did she have to put her tits right at eye level from this balcony?” Tav asked out of nowhere.

Halsin barked out a loud laugh, deep and happy, no doubt caught off guard by her unusual contemplations.

“What?!” he yelled, still cackling. “Why is that the first thing that comes to your mind?”

“Look at them!” She gestured to the statue with both hands. “They’re right there in my face, how can I not have them on my mind?”

“You know, it really is a good thing I like you,” Halsin laughed. “Otherwise, there’s no way I would put up with that mouth of yours.”

A mischievous smirk pulled at one side of her lips. “Oh, I’m sure you could find something to do with this mouth of mine.”

“I could think of a thing or two,” he teased back, lowering his voice.

Tav bit down on her lower lip as a ridiculous grin tried to break out. When she spared a glance at Halsin out of the corner of her eye, she could see him doing the same.

Before she could make any other lewd comments, their companions emerged from the first trial.

“That was quick,” Tav remarked.

“Turns out the invisibility spell did indeed make it child’s play.” Shadowheart grinned back at her. She held out a glowing purple orb.

“Here, another umbral gem.”

Tav held out her bag for Shadowheart to stash the gem. The soft purple glow looked identical to the gem they had picked up after dealing with the orthon.

One trial down, two to go.

The Self-Same Trial

Another plaque outside the second trial.

Her Most Hallowed Mercy.

Shadowheart studied the inscription, her ears twitched like she was listening to something in the distance.

“Lady Shar teaches us that we are our own worst enemy, much of the time,” she said, pinching her lips as she pondered the words. “Her embrace will elude us until we shed that which holds us back.”

“So, we’ll be facing ourselves?” Wyll asked. “Or at least a mirror image of sorts?”

“That is likely, yes,” Shadowheart responded, her voice reserved.

After a moment, she clapped her hands together. “Okay everyone! Take off your armor.”

“On it, soldier.” Karlach immediately started stripping.

“Why in the hells would we take off our armor?!” Gale shot back, blushing at Karlach’s now half-naked body.

“Because, Gale, if this trial is going to conjure identical copies of us to fight, I’d rather not fight us fully armed and armored. With the items we’ve collected, we’re quite formidable wouldn’t you say?”

“Shadowheart, you flirt!” Karlach cooed back before throwing her top over to Tav. “Hold onto that, would you sis?”

“It’s not the worst idea,” Tav admitted. “Here, once you’re inside use these.”

Tav pulled a few elixirs and scrolls from her bag.

“Ah, Stoneskin!” Gale grabbed one of the scrolls eagerly.

“The elixirs should help protect you as well.”

“Thank you.” Shadowheart reached out to take one of the vials from her.

Her companions removed their armor, leaving only their thin linens and undergarments before entering the trial. Tav and Halsin helped gather everything in a neat pile near one of the stone benches outside.

“We’ll be here waiting when you’re done,” Halsin assured them.

Tav let out a sultry whistle as they walked away, half of them in naught but their underwear. Karlach turned around to wink at her as her tail curled up in a seductive pose.

Once again, the doors closed, cutting them off from their companions.

***

Halsin sat with Tav outside of the chamber of the next trial on a nearby bench. She leaned over with her elbow resting on her knee so she could prop her head up and stare at the door. The other hand tapped idly on the stone next to her.

“I must admit,” Halsin started, “I’m rather relieved you talked us out of these trials.”

She smirked back at him. “You’re welcome. Although if I’m being honest, it truly was the practical choice. We can’t take unnecessary risks, not now. We’re too close.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you. Still, this place sets my nerves on edge. Even if we’re not actively participating.”

“You and me both, love,” Tav whispered back.

“While we wait, I was hoping to ask you about something.” Halsin started to fiddle with his hands in his lap.

“By all means.” Tav smiled and leaned back in her seat.

“You’ve all talked about this ‘dream guardian’ that protects you from the Absolute. No one seems to know who they are or what they want. I was hoping to hear your thoughts on the matter.”

She took a deep breath and kept her eyes fixed on the door.

“I still think it’s an illusion of sorts, but I’m not sure what kind. They’ve been helpful so far, but I’m not sure why they’re hiding.”

“Why do you believe it to be an illusion?”

“Because he shows himself as someone I knew in the past, someone that wouldn’t have become a golden paladin trapsing around in a peculiar, githyanki artefact.”

“Who is he? If I may ask.” Halsin scooted a little closer to her.

“Quinlan.” The name brought a fond smile to her face. “He was an elf who worked at the Counting House in the Lower City of Baldur’s Gate, about the same age as me.”

“What part of him gave away the illusion?” he asked softly.

“His eyes,” she answered without hesitation. “Quin had deep, dark brown eyes. Dark enough that you could barely tell where his pupil separated from his iris. But they were warm and gentle. This dream visitor has golden eyes and they’re lacking the comfort I always saw in Quin’s.”

“Tell me about him.” Halsin reached over and placed a hand on her knee.

She gave him a skeptical look in response. “You really want to hear stories about my former lover?”

“Only if you’re willing to share. If they’re painful memories–”

“No,” she interrupted, looking surprised, “they’re actually quite pleasant. I just…I don’t know, I worried it might make you jealous or upset.”

“Not at all. I’d love to hear about him if you’d like to tell me,” he assured her with a smile.

“Well…my father had taken a personal interest in him. Quin was kind, a hard worker, and sharp as a whip. ‘Filled to the brim with potential’ as my father liked to say.

“This was some time before he was warped into the hateful man he became in our last years together. He had introduced Quin and I at a small get-together for Counting House employees and its beneficiaries.”

The bashful grin on her face was almost as endearing as the pink blush he had become so familiar with over the past tenday or so.

“We talked all night. My parents had to practically drag us apart when it was time to leave. I used to find any excuse I could to go to the Counting House with my father, just looking for a reason to see him. Gods the eye rolls I received while I shamelessly flirted with him across the counter.”

He smiled along with her as she laughed at the memory. There was a youthfulness in her voice that he hadn’t heard yet in their time together.

“As luck would have it, we ended up running into one another at a party a few months later. I refused to dance with anyone but him. We ended up sneaking away and spending most of the evening in a secluded parlor. It was the same story at any event we both attended. He was…my first.”

She glanced down at her hands, suddenly looking shy.

“I still remember how nervous we both were. How we fumbled with the strings on our clothes and laughed at every awkward movement and touch. I still remember the way he smiled at me afterwards…how he told me he wanted to stay that way forever.”

“What happened?”

“Long story short, my father found out. He was livid. He truly thought the only reason that Quin liked me was to get closer to him. After all, who could only care about me and not simply want to climb the social ladder of Baldur’s Gate?” Her derisive snort didn’t quite cover the small crack in her voice.

Halsin’s heart broke a little hearing her speak of herself in such a way.

“I was forbidden from ever seeing him again and my father stopped supporting Quin at the Counting House.”

Tav looked away from him.

“He told me that Quin was just using me to leverage a better position. That he didn’t care for me, and I was a foolish little girl for thinking otherwise.” She pursed her lips and then scoffed.

“Ironic considering the shift in his behavior a few decades later.”

“I’m so sorry, Tav,” Halsin whispered. “I must admit, I’m unfamiliar with the reasoning behind forbidding someone from taking a lover. Especially if he was kind to you.”

“Welcome to Upper City life in the Gate, my friend.” Tav let out a cold and unfeeling laugh.

“Quin begged me to run away with him,” she continued, her voice softening again. “He said we’d start a new life in Waterdeep or Amn. I considered it, I would have maybe even left if…if it weren’t for Tev.”

Halsin watched as her face shifted to a more melancholy look.

“He’s the one that got away, I suppose,” she mused with a sad smile, tears shining in her eyes. “One of them, at least.”

“One of them?”

“I mean, come on, Halsin,” she chuckled. “You’ve lived even longer than I have, and you’ve told me about your needs in a relationship. Surely there’s been more than one lover who’s gotten away from you. More than one you regret letting slip through your grasp.”

And how many did you even try to hold onto?

“Given that I have such a loose grasp to begin with, yes I suppose there have been a few that I’ve let slip away all too easily,” he admitted. “Though I do wish some of them would have been more willing to hold on as well rather than relying on me to do so.”

Tav reached over to hold his hand still resting on her leg.

“Do you have someone out there waiting for you? A lover you had to leave behind to come with us?”

He hummed back at her, but it was a sad, discouraged sound. “I’m afraid I’ve been bedding down alone for a while. Mostly by choice. As I found myself closer and closer to a solution for the shadows here, I let myself be consumed. I convinced myself that I was maintaining my focus for the task ahead, but in reality…”

He let out a long sigh.

“In reality I was just placing unreasonable boundaries on myself. I was so afraid that I was unworthy of the power, unworthy of Silvanus’s favor. I thought if I deprived myself of those…distractions that I could become worthy.

“I do not regret my decisions. I’ve just simply forgotten what it was like to have peers again, to be able to talk to another as a friend rather than an authority figure. What it’s like to be looked to for jokes and conversations rather than decisions and mediating.”

Tav snorted. “Yes, it would seem those tasks fall to me now.”

“Perhaps,” he took his hand back to wrap around her shoulders. “The others may look to you for leadership, but it is obvious that they still see you as an equal, as a friend. Should that change for any reason, know that I will still be by your side to help share that responsibility.”

“I appreciate that, Halsin.”

He smiled as she laid her head against him, nestling herself more comfortably into his side.

Voices sounding on the other side of the doors caused her to perk up shortly after, though.

“Everything go okay?” Tav asked when she saw their companions emerging from the room.

“Yes, it was nice to confirm that I am as worthy of an adversary as I assumed,” Lae’zel greeted them first. “My visage was by far the most challenging.”

“You can say that again, Lae.” Karlach shook her head. “Took three of us to take you down, soldier.” She slapped Lae’zel on the back, earning a rare smile from the githyanki.

“Found another one,” Shadowheart held up another umbral gem. She stashed it in Tav’s pack for safe keeping with the other two.

“Well done,” Tav said before tilting her head to the side. “There’s a set of stairs over there, shall we?”

“Lead the way, Shadowheart!” Karlach called out to her as they all got dressed once more.

Halsin had to admit, Shadowheart looked quite pleased with herself. Not in the arrogant, self-righteous way he had seen before, but with the quiet pride of accomplishment.

One trial left.

The Faith-Leap Trial

Yet another plaque sat embedded in the stone beneath them.

Her Most Sacred Path.

This room was far darker than the rest. Before them was a large opening in the floor with risen platforms among the darkness. At the other side, Tav could just make out the soft, purple glow of an umbral gem.

Shadowheart studied the floor beneath them. It looked to be a map of the chamber, the lighter tiles showing the invisible path to take across the chasm.

“Everyone out,” Shadowheart ordered. Her eyes were fixated on the platform across the small room.

“Are you sure?” Halsin asked, concerned. “If you fall, we may not be able to come to your aid.”

“This is a test of faith, of my trust in Lady Shar. I have to believe that she will show me the way. I can’t have you all here calling out instructions and guiding me. This must be my trial, and mine alone.”

Tav took a step toward her. “Shadowheart–”

“You said you would defer to my judgement for these trials, Tav,” she snapped, cutting Tav off.

She had said that hadn’t she?

“Fine. If you say this is the way, then I’ll trust you. If you’re hurt beyond your own abilities, reach out with the tadpole and we’ll come back.”

She responded with a curt nod before turning back to the offering bowl, waiting for them to leave before beginning the trial.

The doors closed behind them, leaving Shadowheart to her test of faith.

“I’m not so sure about this…” Karlach bounced in place as they settled in just outside the room.

“There’s not much else we can do, love.” Tav leaned against the wall, close to the door.

Everyone idled around the corridor, pacing or fiddling with their weapons as they anxiously awaited Shadowheart’s return.

In reality, she was only gone for mere minutes, but it felt as if at least an hour had passed by the time she emerged – confident and holding the last umbral gem they needed to pass into the sanctum.

“Woo!” Karlach threw her arms in the air to yell, earning a softer smile from Shadowheart.

“That’s…that’s it,” Shadowheart said, eyes shining with tears. “I’ve done it.”

“Alright then,” Tav held out her bag to store the last gem, “let’s see what’s hiding at the heart of this place.”

Shadowheart spun on her heels, chin held high, to go back toward the entrance to the Gauntlet.

The Silent Library

“Wait.” Shadowheart stopped abruptly before they reached the top of the stairs. “There’s something else I need to do…something Lady Shar needs me to do.”

Everyone else shrugged as they exchanged glances with one another but followed her to the end of the hall. There was another room with a shimmering barrier at its entrance.

“Is this another trial?” Halsin asked, sounding uneasy.

“I don’t think it is.” Tav peered around the doorway into the library. “We already have the gems we need.”

She glanced at the ground, not finding an inscription plate like they had seen in front of the other rooms.

“Regardless, there is something here she wants me to find,” Shadowheart said adamantly.

Tav scanned the room. A huge portal sat in its center, just like the others they faced upon entering the fortress for the first time. Six Dark Justiciars patrolled the room.

“Does that mean we should join you?” Tav whispered, keeping a wary eye on the potential adversaries ahead of them. “At least if these guards prove to be hostile as well?”

“I don’t see why not.” Shadowheart shrugged.

They all moved into the room, taking cautious steps. Tav tried to whisper to the others, but no sound came out. A heavy, dampening feeling settled over them as they made their way further in, like a wet blanket. Gale’s eyes widened in panic as the realization hit.

Shit.

The moment she picked up on the silencing effect on the room, the Dark Justiciars attacked.

Tav reached out using the tadpoles, praying that a Silence spell wouldn’t affect their telepathic abilities.

“Where is it coming from?” she called out in her mind, holding her breath as she awaited an answer.

“I believe the source is that dark portal in the center.” Gale’s voice drifted into her thoughts, letting her breathe a sigh of relief. “I can feel a strange pull from it.”

Tav took aim and fired at the portal, hearing a wailing hiss at the attack. Karlach charged forward to try and finish it off, but one of the Dark Justiciars caught her in the leg with an arrow. She stumbled to the ground, clutching at the wound.

Luckily, Lae’zel wasn’t far behind her. She leaped forward, driving her massive sword into the center of the portal and shattering the magic keeping it held there.

“Finally,” Gale gasped, fingers already alight with flame. He hurled a ball of fire toward a clustered group of enemies. “Gods how I hate being silenced.”

“So we’ve noticed,” Astarion snapped back.

Tav continued with her onslaught of arrows, trying to pull attention from her companions where possible.

Halsin had made it down to Karlach, who was ripping the arrow from her thigh. As he started a quick healing spell, Tav heard the familiar raging scream from her friend, and she went barreling toward another Dark Justiciar. It at least appeared that Halsin had gotten the spell off before she ran away.

She and Lae’zel tore through the library’s guardians with ease. Astarion would sporadically appear from the shadows to get a well-placed dagger in the spaces between the armor plates, weakening it for Karlach and Lae’zel’s brutal swings.

When Shadowheart struck a killing blow on the final Dark Justiciar with her glowing mace, Tav noticed her recoiling with her attack. Her face was bruised, and she was breathing heavily.

“Shadowheart!” Tav gasped. “What happened? I didn’t even see you get hit!”

“I…I’m not sure.” She winced and brought a hand up to her cheek. “Every time I’d hit them, it was like an invisible punch of some kind came at me.”

Tav watched as she tried, and failed, to conjure up a healing spell. The magic fizzling out at her fingertips with an exasperated groan.

“They must have had some defense against radiant magic,” Gale mused. “Quite clever, really.”

“Yes, so clever, thank you, Gale,” Shadowheart snapped back, losing her balance.

Karlach was nearby and helped keep her from falling to the ground.

Tav came over to inspect her bruises with Halsin trailing close behind.

Shadowheart flinched as Tav’s hands came up to her face.

“Sorry,” Tav retreated, “may I?”

She held her hands out. Shadowheart eyed them for a moment before giving a tentative nod. Tav gingerly held her cheeks between her palms, turning her head side to side so she could see the extent of the injuries.

As she finished the healing spell for the bruises, Tav saw Karlach give her an approving smile, but Shadowheart cried out in pain as she tried to stand up. She clutched her side, doubling over.

Halsin caught her this time, lowering her back onto the ground.

“Don’t move for a moment.” He looked over her body, scanning for any other signs of injury. “We’ll need to take the top of your armor off so I can see.” He glanced at Karlach and Tav.

Shadowheart nodded and went to reach for the clasps herself but let out another cry.

“Easy, Shadowheart,” Halsin said gently, “I’m worried you might have a broken rib, let us help you.”

She pursed her lips before giving a resigned sigh. Karlach and Tav removed the intricate Sharran mail as carefully as they could, revealing her blackened torso.

They all sucked in sharp gasps at the sight.

“Tav, I’ll need your help.” Halsin’s voice was soft and soothing, but firm. The voice she recognized from the times he’d healed her more grim wounds. She nodded and knelt at his side.

“Place your hands here.” He took one of her hands and moved it to the top of Shadowheart’s ribcage, just below her breast. “When I tell you to, start a healing spell. A simple one should do. If we do this at the same time, it will help keep the bones from becoming misshapen. It’s always a danger when healing ribs.”

Tav let her hand gently rest where he placed it and awaited his command. Halsin started his spell first; she could feel the warmth of it even through Shadowheart’s skin.

Karlach knelt on the other side of her, holding Shadowheart’s hand as she gripped it so hard Tav was sure they’d be healing a broken hand next. Her small hisses of pain caused Tav to grimace.

“Okay, now Tav.”

She started her spell alongside him, the cool touch of her magic mingling with his beneath Shadowheart’s skin to guide the pieces of bone back into place. Tav watched in awe of how the spells worked together. Broken bones were not an injury she had healed often, maybe once or twice in her life. She could feel the bone coming back into place under their touch.

“One more time.” Halsin took a slow, controlled breath before casting another spell in time with Tav.

This time, she saw the bruise start to slowly fade away. Shadowheart’s ragged breathing calmed until instead she let out a small groan of relief.

“There we are.” Halsin fell back on his knees.

“Th-Thank you,” Shadowheart gasped.

“That’s what we hung back for, right?” Tav cracked a smile.

While they were working to heal her injuries, Gale and Astarion had opened the large iron gate in front of them.

They helped Shadowheart to her feet, letting her secure her armor back over her upper body again.

Past the gate were even larger bookshelves than in the main part of the library. Another massive carving of Shar was etched into the wall in front of them. In the center of the smaller room stood a round pedestal with an opening for something. By the shape of the slot, she guessed a book could fit inside.

The top of the pedestal was engraved with a question, a riddle of sorts.

What can silence the Nightsong?

Tav blinked a couple of times, trying to be sure she read it right. Halsin was leaning over her shoulder to read as well.                                                                                                                       

Nightsong…

“The Nightsong was the relic Aradin went looking for,” Halsin recalled.

“And it’s apparently important to Shar.” Tav studied the area around the altar, looking for any clues about what this Nightsong might look like. “But why would it need to be silenced?”

Halsin had a troubled look in his eyes as he contemplated the question. “The wizard that commissioned the bounty did say it was an incredibly powerful relic. Perhaps the magic itself needs to be silenced?”

Tav nodded along, only half listening.

Shadowheart had already left the small area, scouring the rest of the library for the missing piece of the puzzle. She returned a few minutes later with a book.

“I believe this is the answer it’s looking for,” she said, holding it in the air.

Teachings of Loss.

Tav stepped to the side and gestured for Shadowheart to place it in the slot.

The sound of grinding stone startled them as the wall carved in Shar’s likeness fell away to reveal yet another room.

She bit back a groan when she saw another little shrine to Shar inside. Rather than seeing an offering bowl however, the plate had a spear resting atop it.

It radiated with magic. The dark symbol embedded into its head was the color of the void itself.

On the floor was a set of Sharran chainmail. Unlike the old armor they found in Grymforge, this set was well maintained. Kept hidden away in pristine condition until one of Shar’s initiates came to claim it.

Shadowheart had tears glinting in her eyes as she walked up to claim the items. She held the spear delicately, as if she worried too rough a touch would cause it to disintegrate in her hands. A satisfied look took over her face as she tucked the weapon under her arm.

“We have all we need. We should go to the inner sanctum now.”

Everyone exchanged concerned glances.

“You were hurt pretty badly, soldier,” Karlach started. “Maybe we don’t press our luck today?”

Shadowheart pressed her lips into a tight line.

“We’ve been here for a long time,” Tav added. “And you don’t know that you won’t find more trials once we reach the center of this fortress.”

Halsin spoke next, “you have no magic left to heal or defend yourself. I recommend caution.”

“This has been my entire life’s purpose,” Shadowheart snapped. “Excuse me for being eager to make my way toward it’s fulfillment.”

“I understand that feeling well,” Halsin continued. "But do not risk your success by making a foolhardy decision. Take tonight, rest and heal. We can make our way back here first thing tomorrow morning.”

She crossed her arms and chewed on her lip as she thought about it.

“Fine,” she sighed. “But we come back very first thing tomorrow.”

“Very first thing.” Tav held up her hand in a display of sincerity.

Shadowheart folded up the new armor into her backpack before leading them out of the room.

Their long walk back to camp turned uneasy as they realized this could be their last night at Moonrise.

For the next day they would hopefully find the source of Ketheric Thorm’s invulnerability and take the fight to him.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Last Night

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 2,620

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav and the gang have what they hope is their last night in the shadow cursed lands. Part 40 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter to tie a few things up and get us ready for the next few chapters! Super excited to share the last part of this act with you over the next few weeks <3

Tav rolled her shoulders and stretched her arms as she settled into her tent for the evening. She thought that she would be happier with this potentially being their last night in the shadows, but she also knew the perils that would await them in the morning.

She tried to close her eyes, if anything as long as she could trance for a couple of hours, it should be enough to get her through the day.

“Knock, knock!” Gale’s voice called from outside.

Tav cracked one eye open, seeing a purple haze shining through the thin opening left in her tent.

“Gale?” She popped her head out to look at him.

“Good evening! I’m here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep. He wishes to extend you an invitation for a private conversation in a more suitable locale.”

“Huh?” Tav blinked at the bright light emanating from the projection.

“Ah, shall I repeat myself? Good evening! I’m–”

“No! No.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just tell me where he went so I can go meet him.”

“Gladly. Just follow yonder path and you will find him with ease.” He gave her a small bow.

Tav slipped past the image of Gale and followed a small path out of their camp. It wasn’t long before she entered a small clearing where he was seated on a blanket.

To her surprise, she could see the stars. Not just the stars either. Ribbons of colorful light danced across the sky. There were no shadows in sight.

She knew it was just an illusion, but part of her wanted so badly to believe it was real. That somehow the shadows had already been driven from the land.

“Thank you for joining me,” Gale said softly, not turning to look at her.

“This is incredible, Gale,” Tav gasped as she took a seat next to him. “Did you do this?”

“I did. This could be my last night alive. I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder.”

She gave him a curious glance.

“Do you have so little faith that we can win?” Tav wasn’t sure if she should feel offended or not.

“Oh, I have more than enough faith in you, my friend.” He smiled at her. “I have no doubt you will lead us to the heart of this Absolute. Then, I will do as Mystra commands.”

Those words knocked the air out of her lungs.

“Gale…”

“I thought if I could have a night of peace, it could make the weight of what I must do feel a little lighter. I thought if I could spend one more night with a friend, I could let go a little easier…but now I am not so sure.”

“You’re truly willing to die just for the promise of Mystra’s forgiveness?” Tav felt the tears welling in her eyes.

“To die is the inevitable end of all living things. Babe or crone, coward or hero, human or elf.” He cleared his throat. “Mystra’s forgiveness, however, is not something that comes along so often.”

Tav sat in silence, not wanting to believe her ears. Gale had scarcely said a word about the orb since his conversation with Elminster almost two tendays ago. Now, he was telling her that he indeed planned to sacrifice himself on Mystra’s orders, making the decision before they even found the Absolute.

“There’s no use running from it, Tav. Better to meet it, on my terms. For so long I’ve worried my death would claim countless innocent lives. But now…” Gale let out a soft, sad laugh. “Now, I at least have the opportunity for it to have meaning instead.”

Tav understood the sentiment. She knew how important magic was to Gale, how his life had revolved around it since he was a child. She knew the shame and pain he carried with him each and every day.

Which is why she surprised herself with the next words out of her mouth.

“Fuck meaningful deaths.”

“Beg pardon?” His confounded expression stayed frozen on his face for a few moments.

“Gale,” Tav turned to face him, “I’ve watched so many people die for causes they believe in so they could have ‘meaningful deaths.’ I’ve watched people die far too young because they thought their death needed to be in service of something greater than themselves. I’ve seen too many good, decent people die while tyrants and liars and assholes live long, happy lives.

“When those good people die, it leaves the opportunist dickheads to take over. They come in when civilizations are at their weakest and take advantage of those heroic deaths. Suddenly, the noble sacrifice that some long-forgotten hero made is rendered meaningless. All because the good people are never given the option to simply live.”

Her chest ached more and more the longer she spoke.

“While I appreciate and honor the sacrifices they made, there is something to be said about those who choose to go on living instead. You truly want your death to have meaning, Gale?”

He just stared back at her, tears shining in his eyes.

“Live a life that has meaning first. Give yourself a chance to learn from your mistakes, to help steer others away from making the same ones. Leave a legacy for others to look up to long after you’re gone.”

Tav took a deep shaky breath, tasting salt from the tears on her lips.

“But please, Gale, don’t just give up. Don’t just take the first option given to you, no matter how tempting. You say Mystra’s forgiveness can be earned. Then earn it.”

“I…” Gale stammered, his chin and lip quivering. “Thank you, Tav.”

He stared back up at the starry expanse of sky above them, searching for any answers dotted among the constellations.

“Damn you,” he continued with a shake of his head. “Damn you for giving me so much to care about. If it were only me, this would have been so much easier…but it isn’t.”

Tav leaned over and pulled Gale into a hug. His beard scratched at her neck as he buried his face in her shoulder.

“Stay with me a while, would you?” He pulled away from her, fear clouding those big, brown eyes. “I don’t want to think about it anymore, but I don’t want to be alone either.”

“Of course, Gale.”

Tav scooted closer and looped her arm around his, laying her head on his shoulder. She looked up at the night sky, seeing stars for the first time in days let a brief feeling of calm settle over her.

Even if it was all just an illusion.

***

Halsin found himself wandering to the edge of their camp. Just a few paces away from him was the fresh grave they had dug for Tav’s brother. The large pile of rocks offered some meager protection for the soft, unsettled dirt, the best they could manage in this cursed land.

After he took an uneasy breath, he knelt next to the small grave. He never knew Tev’aron, but he felt like he owed him this. From what little he did know, it was obvious how much he loved Tav.

Halsin wanted him to know that she wasn’t alone.

“Hello, Tev’aron,” he started, working to keep the nervous tone out of his voice. “We never got a chance to meet, but I’ve heard so much about you from your sister.”

He paused out of habit, waiting for a reply that wouldn’t come.

“Tav harbors so much guilt over your death. She feels like she never got the chance to repay you for your years of love and protection. Something tells me you never expected her to, though.”

He laughed lightly.

“She misses you terribly. But I suppose that’s obvious.”

A small gust of wind blew past him, cooling his bare arms.

“I know you were here that day as well. That you fought against Ketheric Thorm, against the shadows. So few of us made it out. It hurts me to know you were here all this time.”

Halsin let out a shaky sigh, not allowing himself to go deep into his painful memories of that day.

“I’m not entirely sure why I’m sitting out here in the dark talking to you. I think I just wanted you to know that Tav isn’t alone. That she’s not facing this grief while walking backwards into her own self destruction. I wanted you to know that she still has others looking out for her, even when she doesn’t want to let us see her faltering.

“I’m not one to ask for permission or blessings, where nature dictates, I go. I suppose that might be a tad different from how you were both raised. But I would like you to know that I care for her. I want you to know that…”

Halsin looked around, suddenly worried that someone might have snuck up on him. He didn’t see anyone, but he still lowered his voice.

“I want you to know that I think I’m falling in love with her. That if I were fortunate enough to have her feel the same, she’d never have to be alone again.”

A relieved breath escaped his lips with the words. Being able to say them out loud lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders, but he decided to amend them ever so slightly.

“Even if she doesn’t feel the same, she doesn’t have to be alone again.”

The words came with a small stab of pain, but he meant them, nonetheless.

“I don’t know why I can’t tell her that yet. But one day I will. When that day comes, we might be far away from this place, so I wanted you to know now.”

Halsin felt a few hot tears streak his cheeks as he stood up again.

“I’ll watch over her, Tev. We all will.”

Just as he was about to go back to the fire, Tav and Gale emerged from the trees walking arm in arm.

“Oh, hello Halsin,” Gale called out.

“Hello, my friends.” He smiled at the two of them. “Out for a late-night stroll?”

“Something like that.” Tav squeezed Gale’s arm before letting it drop from hers. “I figured you’d be resting by now, everything okay?”

“Of course,” he shifted in place, “just wanted a short walk to clear my head.”

“Come on then,” she held her arm out to him, “join us on the way back.”

“Happily,” he responded, letting her hook their elbows together.

The three of them chatted about their day and the plans for the morning as they walked back. Gale seemed a bit more distant than usual.

Tav suddenly grabbed both Halsin and Gale by their shirts and threw them behind a tree.

“Tav! What–”

“Shh!” she hissed before peering around the trunk where they were all hiding. She didn’t look alarmed, she looked…excited?

Halsin tentatively glanced around the tree, his head hovering over hers. Gale’s curiosity had also gotten the better of him. He crouched down so he could peek his head out below Tav’s.

By the campfire, they saw Wyll and Karlach. They were dancing together.

A sweet, sappy look came over Tav’s face. Halsin could see tears gathering in her eyes as she watched the two of them spinning around the fire. He had to admit it was a charming sight, Wyll and Karlach seemed like a good fit together. Halsin had noticed some of the long looks he had given Karlach, how his eyes sparkled anytime she laughed.

When they finished their dance, they both knelt down on one knee. He saw their bright, kind smiles shining through the shadows.

Then, he saw Wyll lean forward to place a soft, lingering kiss on Karlach’s lips.

Tav let out an excited squeak. Halsin quickly grabbed both her and Gale, hugging them tight against him to hide behind the tree again.

“Did they see us?” she whispered, her entire body shaking with joy.

“I don’t think so.” He kept them held there for another moment before allowing another peek around the tree.

Wyll had turned to go to his tent. Karlach still stood by the fire, a delirious smile spreading across her face. It wasn’t long before she skipped away to her own tent.

Halsin, Gale, and Tav all let out their held breaths.

“Well, as exciting as this evening has been, I think we shall be needing our rest for tomorrow.” Gale yawned and stretched his arms out in front of him. “Sleep well, friends. Erm…trance well?”

“Goodnight Gale,” Tav chuckled.

“He’s right, of course. We’ll need all the strength we can muster tomorrow if we are indeed going for Ketheric Thorm.” Halsin felt his eyes growing heavy.

Tav took a shaky breath; he caught the slight quiver in her lip as she did so.

“What is it?” He reached over to put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s just…” she sniffled, “we tried once. We thought he was dead. What’s to stop the same thing from happening again? I can’t help but feel we’re up against an impossible task.”

“I suppose we won’t know for sure until we get there,” Halsin sighed. Tav wouldn’t meet his gaze.

He racked his brain for the right words to say. She was right of course. There was a chance that they would march on Moonrise Towers, face Ketheric Thorm, and discover all they had worked for – all they had grieved and lost – had been for nothing.

But that despair was easily beaten back by the hope he felt at his new friends’ sides. At Tav’s side.

“This has been a task one hundred years in the making, my friend.” He took both of her hands in his. “For many of those years I feared there would be no one brave enough to even attempt it.”

She finally looked up at him again.

“But look at all we’ve accomplished so far. For so long, I truly believed I would never see Thaniel again. Yet he’s now safe and sound here in our camp, reunited with his other half. Karlach worried she’d never be able to touch another again. Her days are now filled with as many hugs and handshakes as she wishes. Lae’zel lived for years under the tyrannical rule of a false queen. She is now armed with the truth and seeks to break her people’s chains.

“You have all created an incredible team based on friendship and trust. Somehow, you’ve helped unite the most unlikely group of adventurers I’ve seen in my long life. You’ve helped one another break free of chains that had weighed you down for years, all while living with a mind flayer tadpole in your brain.”

He smiled before bringing his forehead down to rest on hers.

“So don’t say it’s impossible, Tav. Stranger things have already happened.”

She sniffled as he wiped away a couple of stray tears from her cheeks.

“Thank you,” Tav whispered back before pulling him into a hug.

“Happy to help.”

He welcomed the gesture, letting her cling to him and bury her face in his shoulder. If anything, it helped to hide his own trembling hands.

Halsin meant what he said to Tav. He believed they could finally put an end to Ketheric Thorm and even the Absolute. It didn’t mean he wasn’t absolutely terrified of doing so.

But when Thaniel spotted them and came out to join, wrapping his arms around Halsin’s waist, those fears melted away again. Thaniel was a reminder of why he was there in the first place – of why he endured his suffering for so long.

A reminder of why he was so confident they would prevail the next day.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Amends

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,799

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Everyone takes the night at camp to recover from their first few adventure-packed days in the shadow curse. Part 33 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: A bit of a fluffy chapter with lots of fun dialogue. I hope you enjoy! <3

Halsin walked back to camp arm in arm with Tav. Despite their victory, he could feel the exhaustion taking over her. At least with this part of their journey completed, he hoped so desperately that she could start to heal. Though fighting a mind flayer cult would likely put a damper on that.

He thought he would feel downright blissful as they walked alongside their companions. Here, he had just realized a century long dream, shouldn’t he feel happier?

There had been a huge, bright burst of joy at seeing Oliver saved. The moment he realized they had succeeded he felt the swell of accomplishment, the satisfaction of a mission completed. He thought of how close he was to being able to speak with Thaniel again and excitement danced across every nerve at the prospect. When he felt Tav’s arms wrap around his neck and heard her overjoyed sobs he couldn’t remember a time where he had felt more relief.

And yet, he found himself feeling empty. As if the shadows had taken a piece of him with them when Oliver was rescued. The curse had occupied him for so long that he wasn’t sure what to do with the excess space in his mind now.

Curing these lands was like ripping an old dressing from a cut whose scab had fused to the cloth. Necessary, but ultimately an action that opened the wound once more.

He refused to dwell on that for now, instead opting to concentrate on the comfort he felt from Tav’s arm draped around his.

A new hope crept into the back of his mind, its voice quiet and timid, but it made him feel warm as he looked back to the woman at his side.

Maybe we could start to heal together.

Tav spent their stroll telling him about their time at the House of Healing. They had found Arabella’s parents there, killed by shadow cursed beings. Something was different about the cursed doctor and nurses, though.

“What do you mean they spoke to you?” Halsin asked, assuming he misheard her.

“They had an entire conversation with us, Halsin. Not just groaning and broken speech like we’ve seen with others.” She shuddered at the memory.

“Why were these individuals special? To be able to maintain some semblance of sentience even after being twisted by the curse? I would not have thought it possible.”

“Not just sentience,” Tav added, “but still preaching their devotion to Shar. I suppose it’s impossible to tell whether they were Sharrans before the curse, or if it twisted them under her influence.”

“Perhaps they’re anchors of some kind for the curse. Beings that were chosen to guard and protect the land to keep anyone from breaking its spell.” Halsin started to think out loud.

Truth be told, he had no answer as to how anyone could have remained coherent after living among the shadow curse for so long.

“Hmm,” Tav chewed on her lip as she thought, “we should look out for any others. If there’s a chance that they’re also holding the curse in place, we’ll need to take care of them too.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now,” he sighed. “For now, I think we’ve earned a good night’s sleep and the right to enjoy at least one victory.”

“Yes, Master Halsin,” she teased with an exaggerated salute. He nudged his elbow into her side, once again thankful that her sense of humor had survived the past few days.

They passed the boundary of their camp just behind the rest of their companions. Everyone had broken off to change out of their armor so they could settle in for the evening.

He noticed Tav scanning the camp.

“Do you see Arabella?” she asked softly, it was obvious how she dreaded the news she would have to deliver.

Halsin spotted her sleeping on a small bedroll near Withers. Scratch and Sniff were once again curled up against her.

“Shall I go wake her?” he offered.

Tav took a deep breath as she kept her eye on the young girl. “No, let her sleep. We’ll talk with her in the morning. Let her have one more peaceful night.”

The remainder of their evening was uneventful. Gale was kind enough to prepare them a delicious dinner of venison stew. A quiet exhaustion had settled over the group. Not unexpected after their first few days among the curse. This land would sap the energy out of anyone under normal circumstances, let alone those who were already battling the threat of becoming illithid day in and day out.

One by one, everyone drifted away from the fire. They talked in pairs at their tents, quietly made their way to the comfort of their bedrolls, all except for him and Tav.

“You know, we’ve talked so much, but I still feel like I haven’t gotten to know you properly,” Tav said as she set her bowl aside. “Most of our discussions are just catching you up on our antics of the day.”

“True, I can’t imagine I helped with that. Sometimes I let the task at hand consume me, leading people to think I’m obsessed.”

“I understand the feeling,” she chuckled softly.

“Believe me, it will be the happiest of days when I no longer have to talk about this dreadful curse.”

Tav smiled at him, the sight caused his entire body to feel warm.

“What would you like to know?” Halsin turned in his seat to face her.

“Hmm…” Tav stretched her legs out in front of her, “what’s your favorite color?”

“My…favorite color?” He was taken aback by the question. The way she asked was so genuine. Had anyone ever asked him for his favorite color before?

“I…I’m not sure, if I can be quite honest,” he admitted. “I of course tend to dress in the typical greens and browns of the Emerald Enclave, and as much as I enjoy how they remind me of a forest, I don’t know if they’re my favorite colors. I’m not sure that I could pick just one anyway.”

“Then what kinds of colors do you like?” she asked again.

Halsin lost himself in thought for a moment, trying to determine which hues brought him feelings of comfort and happiness.

He looked back at her, realizing that the most comforting color he could imagine right now was that of her eyes. The earnest pink irises that had become so familiar to him over the past couple of tendays. That and the pearlescent sheen of her hair, the way the white strands reflected the warm colors of the fire.

But he couldn’t say that, could he?

“Orange,” he blurted out instead. “The deep orange you see at a sunrise or sunset. I think I prefer warm colors.”

“That color would look nice on you,” she said with a smile. “I think warm colors suit you.”

“You think so?”

“Mm-hmm. I don’t know why, I think they just do.”

That’s good enough for me.

“And what about you? Do you have a favorite color?” he asked, eager to learn anything about Tav that she would share.

She considered the question for a moment before answering, “I like bright colors. Blues, greens, pinks. Albeit it’s difficult to wear them when you spend most of your time traveling the wilds. Those bright colors don’t offer much in the way of camouflage.”

“I think you’d look lovely in green.” The words were spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

A blush flowed over her chest. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Halsin felt his own cheeks warm as well.

“Is it my turn to ask a question?” His words blended together as he tried to move past his last comment.

“It’s only fair,” she conceded.

“Tell me something happy about yourself, something not related to mind flayers or curses.”

Tav drummed her fingers beside her while she decided on a reply.

“I…I like to dance,” she admitted.

“Do you?”

“Not the fancy waltzes that I learned in the Upper City, but the silly little jigs I learned in taverns.”

“Well, I hope I get to see one of those dances.” Halsin took one of her hands as she finished talking. “It’s too bad we don’t have a bard amongst our crew of misfits.”

“I seem to recall that you can play the flute,” she teased. “Not willing to give me a little tune to show off?”

“Well, the flute only appeared when Gale had died. So, unless you plan on killing him again, we’ll have to wait until we have more options for musical accompaniment.”

Halsin just now noticed the small snort that came at the end of each of her loud laughs. It separated them from the chuckles and giggles he had heard so many times before.

“Okay, okay,” Tav recovered from her laughing fit, “what about family? I’ve told you a bit about mine, do you have one somewhere?”

He couldn’t help the small look of sadness that dampened his expression.

“Save for me, my line perished a long time ago. They all rest in High Forest now.”

Tav’s face fell alongside his.

“I’m so sorry,” she stammered, “I had no idea…”

“There’s no need to apologize. It was a long time ago that I lost them. The grove became my family, and Silvanus my teacher. And now, I have you.”

His last words earned him another grin.

“The wounds don’t heal fully, but they do become more bearable. Especially when we find others to help share that burden.”

“I understand that weight well,” Tav sighed.

Halsin pulled her closer to his side.

“Tell me more about yourself. It’s nice not to think about the shadows for just a little while.”

“Let’s see,” she sat up straighter and looked lost in thought for a moment, “you know I’m…wary of heights I suppose.”

“That I do,” he chuckled thinking of her clinging to his arm as they made the slow descent into the Underdark. Tav chewed on her lip for a moment while she thought.

“Hmm, I don’t miss much of my life in the Upper City,” she started, “but gods do I miss these little fruit tarts that my father used to buy.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Delicious little pastries. There was one that had creamy lemon filling in the middle. I once made myself sick when I was young from eating so many.” Tav laughed at the memory.

“I have something of a sweet tooth myself,” he admitted. “Though everyone is rather amused when I say I like honey.”

She let out a quiet snort. “An entertaining coincidence perhaps, but you’re fortunate to know what you like. Who cares what anyone else has to say.”

“You’re right. Sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can’t be hurt.”

Tav gave him a knowing look and squeezed his hand.

“Keep going,” she urged him. “I want to know more about you.”

Halsin thought for a moment. When was the last time he had talked about himself this much? When was the last time someone wanted to know this much about him?

“Would it shock you to learn I love animals and nature?”

Tav turned to glare at him.

“I know, I know…well-trodden territory. Let’s see…” he said with a small laugh.

“Come on, there must be some hobby or passion of yours that you can share.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, racking his brain for something he felt was worthy of sharing.

“I whittle in my spare time.”

“You whittle?” Tav sat up again, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “What do you make?”

“Oh, just little trinkets, ornaments, utensils. Any useful item that could be made of wood, I suppose.”

Her satisfied smile coerced him into adding more.

“And ducks. I like ducks,” he said fondly.

“Honey and ducks, got it.”

Halsin let out a loud laugh. “That about sums up my interests, yes.”

Tav was about to say something, but Karlach called out to her from outside of her tent.

“I should probably go see what she needs. We can talk more later if you’d like,” she offered.

“Of course. I should check on Thaniel anyway.”

Tav nodded and gave him another heart-stopping smile before making her way towards Karlach’s tent.

“For what it’s worth,” she turned around when she was halfway there to call out to him, “I like ducks, too.”

Of course you do.

***

“Soldier!” Karlach waved Tav over toward her tent. There was something in her voice that made her anxious.

“Are you alright?” Tav asked, trying to keep the fatigue out of her words.

“Yeah, yeah.” Karlach rubbed her arm, seeming restless. “I just thought I’d check on you, see how you’re doing after dealing with the shadow curse stuff?”

Tav smiled back at her. “I’m okay, I think. Relieved, still a bit raw from finding Tev, but happy that we can at least get rid of these shadows. You’re sweet to ask.”

“That’s…that’s good to hear,” she let out a small sigh, “because I’m so happy for you, Tav, I really am. I can’t imagine living one hundred years not knowing what happened to someone I love, let alone having to fight a literal curse to avenge their death.”

“Thanks, love.” She closed the gap between them, pulling Karlach into a hug. She seemed to relax for a moment, but Tav felt her tense back up when she spoke again.

“But I really think we need to talk about what happened earlier.” Karlach lowered her voice.

“Which part? The past three days have already blurred together,” Tav let out a halfhearted chuckle as she pulled away.

“The part where you nearly killed Shadowheart, for starters.”

Every drop of blood in her body rushed to her face as she snapped her head back toward Karlach.

“Look, I know you have some real issues with Shar and this shadow curse,” she shook her head, “but Shadowheart’s one of us. If you’re willing to turn your weapon on your allies so quickly, how can you expect us to follow you?”

Tav clenched her jaw and looked away. She knew she had overreacted earlier. Guilt had been churning in her stomach all day. The combination of her grief and Shadowheart pushing back against their one chance to be rid of the shadows had blocked all logical thoughts from her mind.

“Can you truly tell me that Shadowheart wouldn’t have done the same to prevent Halsin from entering the Shadowfell? She was ready to kill Lae’zel all those nights ago over the artefact.” Tav could hear how defensive she sounded as she tried to rationalize her actions. Her ears burned with the shame she felt from it.

“Maybe, maybe not. But she wasn’t the one pointing a weapon at you this time, was she?” Karlach’s voice had softened. “There’s a nasty little ball of anger in you, Tav. One that comes out when you’re hurting, and it fucking scares me, sis.”

“I know,” she whispered back.

“I get if you can’t tell us why you’re hurting, but I worry that you’ll start taking it out on everyone else. You and Halsin have more cause than any of us to dislike Shadowheart, but like it or not we’re in this together. And like it or not, she’s not responsible for this curse.”

“Of course she’s not directly responsible. It’s…it’s difficult to move past her worship of the goddess who is though.”

“But she did help us a little bit with Oliver, didn’t she? Even though it meant going against Shar.”

“I guess…” Tav huffed out a long breath.

“We’re making our way closer to the head of this Absolute cult every day. We can’t afford to push anyone away now, y’know?” Karlach rested an arm on her shoulder.

“I do, Karlach,” she sighed.

“We’ve put so much faith in you so far, and you’ve been solid, Tav. Don’t make us regret it by turning against us. Any of us, including Shadowheart.”

“I never expected anyone to follow me. You all made that decision on your own,” Tav reminded her.

“Well, you shouldn’t have been so loud with your opinions then, soldier,” she teased.

She cracked a small smile in response.

“Come on, I think you should at least talk to her.” Karlach tilted her head toward Shadowheart’s tent.

Tav groaned. Karlach was right, she just didn’t know if she had the words to mend the wounds she had caused.

“I will throw you over my shoulder if I have to,” Karlach warned, only half teasing.

She nodded and let Karlach lead her toward their other companions. As they got closer, she started to dig her heels into the ground, but Karlach kept her moving forward. Shadowheart was standing with her hands on her hips in the middle of a conversation with Gale.

“Shadowheart?” Tav’s voice cracked as she called out her name.

Good gods woman, pull yourself together.

Shadowheart turned to face her, eyebrows furrowed.

“Here,” Tav held out the mace she had loaned them, still shining with Lathander’s divine light, “thank you for letting me use this.”

She snatched it out of her hands and stashed it on her belt once more.

“Is that all?”

“No, I wanted to say…” Tav’s mouth dried as she formed the words. “I wanted to say that I overreacted earlier today.”

“One could say that, yes.” Shadowheart looked between Tav and Karlach.

Karlach bumped Tav with her elbow.

“I also wanted to say…I’m sorry,” she mumbled the apology.

“I didn’t quite catch that.” Shadowheart leaned toward her, a cocky grin on her face.

“I’m sorry, Shadowheart,” she said more clearly the second time.

“Thank you,” she said flatly. “How did those words taste?”

Tav pursed her lips and sucked air through her teeth. “Like wine gone sour.”

“I appreciate your honesty at least,” Shadowheart scoffed.

“It doesn’t make them any less true,” Tav replied, more sincere this time. “Neither one of us is going to change the other’s mind in regard to Shar, but we need to work together. I allowed my grief to block that simple fact, and it won’t happen again. You have my word.”

Shadowheart’s expression softened at her words and Gale gave her an encouraging nod.

“Well, I suppose I didn’t need to antagonize you when you were so obviously in pain,” she admitted, averting her gaze across the camp. Tav could just make out Karlach’s smug grin in her periphery.

“Without you, we wouldn’t have the artefact that protects us from the Absolute. No matter how it came into your possession, that’s a debt worth repaying.”

Tav hesitantly offered her hand out.

Shadowheart eyed it for a moment before clasping hers around it. “I can work with that.”

A squeal from Karlach startled them both out of their handshake. Tav and Shadowheart each found themselves tucked under one of Karlach’s arms in a loving headlock.

“Oh! I’m so fucking proud of you two lofty elves!” She swayed back and forth with the two of them trapped in her embrace.

“Half-elf,” Shadowheart wheezed beneath Karlach’s bicep.

“Eh, there’s some elf in there. That’s all that matters.” Karlach released them from her grip. “Well, now that we’re all friends again, I think it’s time for a nice, long sleep.”

Shadowheart turned to go to her tent without another word. Gale and Karlach each patted Tav on the shoulder before going to seek the relief of their bedrolls for the night. She could see Halsin kneeling outside of his tent across camp. Lae’zel and Wyll had turned in early, not an hour after they had finished eating their supper, Astarion had followed close behind them. Arabella still remained in a peaceful slumber, blissfully unaware of the pain she would wake up to.

Tav opted to stay up a little longer. The past day still weighed heavily on her shoulders. Her mind drifted to Tev again, wondering how he would have handled today if their roles were reversed. He wouldn’t have pulled an arrow on one of his allies, that was for sure.

“Well, I did always favor the sword.”

Tav whipped around to see Tev’aron standing behind her.

This isn’t real, just the delirium of a tired mind.

She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping a few deep, steadying breaths would dispel the illusion. When she opened them again, Tev was still standing there.

“Gods, I’ve gone mad,” she whispered as tears filled her eyes.

“You’ve always been a little mad, Ria.” Tev winked at her.

She stared in disbelief at this vision of Tev she somehow managed to conjure. He was just as she remembered him. His curls a tangled, messy mop on the top of his head, his eyes just a couple of shades darker than hers. That crooked, dimpled smile that had eased the pain of so many horrible days.

“If I had lost you, and someone stood in my way of avenging your death,” he shook his head with a small chuckle, “I don’t know that I would have shown that kind of restraint.”

“Now I know I’ve gone mad. You never admit when I’m right.”

“Ah, ah, I didn’t say it was right,” he corrected her, wagging one finger in front of him. “You just have this idea in your mind that I was without faults. I’m sure you remember how I could have gotten the two of us killed the night I punched Noravi, not to mention the multitude of outbursts that came before.”

“A hard night to forget,” she whispered back. “You only wanted to protect me.”

“And that decision brought you to harm. Likely more than if I would have just bided my time.” He smiled at her. “But holding back is not in our nature.”

“I suppose not,” she admitted.

“But you came to your senses and made the right decision in the end. You admitted your error and made amends. There’s little more you can ask of yourself.” Tev took a step closer to her.

“I’ve watched you doubt yourself your entire life, Tav’ahria. When will you be able to accept that you’re more than enough, just the way you are?”

He kept his cheerful smile aimed at her. Gods she didn’t realize just how much she had missed it, she couldn't help but just stare at him.

“You never read my letter,” Tev said after a moment.

“I…I can’t. Not yet.”

He cocked his head to the side.

“Once I read that…you’re gone, Tev. It’s all I have left of you.” Her voice cracked on every word. “I want to hold onto that as long as I can.”

“I’m right here, Tav’ahria. I always have been,” he assured her.

“No, Tev. You’re just a delusional mirage born of my grief and fatigue. An echo, a ghost.” Even as she said the words she wanted to believe so badly that this could be her brother.

“But you’re not,” he whispered. Tev’s hand came up to rest against her cheek. Her tears broke free, he felt so real.

“Please, don’t hold onto this grief for my sake. You still have so much ahead of you. Stop living half a life, Ria. My sweet sister, it’s time to let go. Be whole again, stop dragging this sorrow alongside you.”

“How can I be whole without you here?” she sobbed as she wrapped her arms tight around her chest.

“Of the two of us, you were always the strongest. You’ll find a way.”

“I’ve missed you so much, Tev.” She kept her voice quiet, not wanting anyone else to witness her obvious mental break. Tav squeezed her eyes shut, leaning into his hand.

“And I you, Tav’ahria. I’ll always be here, you just have to know where to look.”

Tav’s cries shook her entire body. Hearing his voice, feeling his touch, it was almost unbearable. But there was the smallest hint of relief, getting to see him one more time – even if it was just the picture of him that she kept safe in her mind.

“I love you, Ria.”

She started to reach out, desperate to hold him close just one more time. But when she opened her eyes, she found her hand grasping at empty air in front of her.

“…I love you, Tev.”

***

After checking on Thaniel, who was still resting soundly, Halsin made his way back to the fire.

Everyone but Tav had retreated to their tents for the night. He found her standing by the fire, one hand stretched out in front of her, like she was trying to catch something.

“Is everything alright?” Halsin asked.

His voice caused her to jump. When she turned to face him, he saw tears lining her cheeks.

“What is it?”

“Nothing it’s…it’s nothing.” She waved him off before wiping her eyes.

“Tav, I–”

“I’m alright, Halsin,” she forced a smile, “just thinking about Tev.”

“Would you like to be alone?”

She shook her head and sat down next to the fire. He settled in beside her, sitting in the sandy dirt while leaning against the log behind them.

“Was everything alright with Karlach?”

“Everything’s fine, she just wanted to check on me after everything.” She picked at some stray lint on her shirt.

“And Shadowheart?” Halsin had seen the two of them talking while he monitored Thaniel.

Tav’s expression shifted, her cheeks flushed, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“I…I can’t help but feel embarrassed about how I acted today. I didn’t really know what to say to her, but Karlach convinced me to go and apologize.”

“And?”

“I think we’re okay. We at least have a fragile understanding of one another.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said.

“Clinging to pride won’t help us, better to air out our grievances so we can move forward.” She let out a deep sigh.

“Very wise of you, I must say.” Halsin nudged her.

“I have my moments.” She smiled back at him.

“We all make decisions we regret out of anger, Tav. Even the wisest among us can have our vision obscured by grief. I had faith you would make the right choice.”

“This has been the most bizarre and exhausting three days of my life,” Tav groaned as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Yes, we’ve managed to cram quite a few adventures into that short time,” he sighed, reaching into his pocket to grab his pipe.

He carefully packed a small pinch of tobacco into the chamber. It had been weeks since he’d been able to indulge, and it seemed as fine a night as any to do so. As he lit the pipe and took a long drag, he heard a deep inhale from Tav.

“That smells nice,” she said softly. “Others I’ve smelled made my stomach roll.”

“I’m rather particular about my blends. The right herbs can make or break a good pipe tobacco.”

“Hmm,” Tav hummed.

“Would you like to try it?” Halsin offered the small pipe to her.

She studied it for a moment before tentatively taking it in her fingers. He bit his lip as he watched hers wrap around the stem, taking a long pull.

The aching desire in his chest returned watching her blow the smoke out of her mouth in a small, controlled cloud. He wanted more than anything to capture her lips in a kiss, letting her slow exhale fill his lungs. To go back and forth between pulls, exchanging their smoldering breaths with each drag of the pipe.

But that fantasy would have to wait.

The shadows would linger on until Ketheric Thorm’s blight had been wiped from the world. Once he could guarantee the safety of this land, of Thaniel, perhaps he could allow himself to give in to those desires once more.

“Will you stay here with me for a while?” she asked quietly, handing the pipe back to him.

“Of course,” he rested his head on top of hers, “wherever you need me.”

They stayed up well into the night, talking through the highs and lows of the day. Finding Arabella’s parents, Thaniel, and Oliver. She told him more about Tev’aron, their time with the Harpers and other innocent stories from their childhood. He smiled alongside her at the fond, tearful recollections of her time spent with her brother. She listened eagerly as he told her more stories about Thaniel and how excited he was to speak with him again.

Eventually, her eyelids fluttered shut and she fell into a trance. Halsin listened to her soft breaths, hoping that she would only dream of pleasant memories tonight.

Rather than wake Tav, he decided to stay in place for the night, allowing himself to fall into a trance alongside her.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 31

Chapter 31: A Promise Kept

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,467

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Halsin shares his plan to rescue Thaniel from the Shadowfell. Part 31 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: More drama incoming!! I hope you enjoy my take on Halsin's time in the Shadowfell :)

Thanks for reading, as always! It might be a hot minute before the next chapter comes out while I get ready to go back to school full time. But I really hope to be back soon!!

Tav fought the tears welling in her eyes. All this time, Komira and Locke hadn’t been captured and tortured by the cult. They had somehow survived in the shadows, only to be cut down in the place that used to serve as a sanctum for healing, for refuge.

The undead woman spun around to greet them after hearing their gasps.

“Oh! Terribly sorry,” her quiet, rasping voice didn’t come off as hostile, “I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for a moment if you’re in need of help. You see, I have my two patients that require my undivided attention.”

She gave them a small bow of the head before walking back to their bedsides. Tav was startled and jumped away when she saw the woman pull out a scalpel and cut into their flesh once more.

“Why do you continue to torture them?” Tav asked, disgusted. “They’re already dead.”

“Dead?” She turned around and cocked her head to the side. “No, not dead. Merely resting. I would never torture; I am trying to soothe them. Now please, I must concentrate. If you are in dire need of assistance, please make your way to the doctor in the central chamber.”

She gave them another cordial nod before turning back to the two tieflings.

What am I going to tell Arabella?

Tav shook the thought away for now, trying to keep herself from spiraling again.

“Shit, what now?” Karlach hissed behind her.

“It sounds like we need to pay this doctor a visit,” Tav sighed.

Sparing one last look at Komira and Locke, she led her companions out of the room once more. She did her best to harden her mind to allow her to concentrate on the task ahead.

You can grieve later. For now, we need to find a way to rid this land of Shar’s wicked influence once and for all.

***

Halsin did what he could to keep Art Cullagh from succumbing to the lingering effects of the Shadowfell. Every now and then, he could feel him start to fade away, but with no small amount of effort from Halsin and the powers granted to him by Silvanus, he was able to bring him back each time.

He would catch a glimpse of Shadowheart out of the corner of his eye from time to time. She was pacing around the inn, muttering under her breath, a scowl twisting her face.

Despite her words of devotion, Halsin had sensed a small waver in her voice earlier, but he knew very little about Shadowheart. He hadn’t taken the time or energy to get to know her better in their time traveling, nor had he wanted to.

Regardless, he had theorized that the wound on her hand only flared up when she went against Shar’s teachings. Anytime a seed of doubt was sowed in her mind by the words of her companions or others around her, she was punished. What he couldn’t decide was why she continued to allow herself to be punished so regularly. Shadowheart recited prayers to Shar and her commitment to the goddess each morning and night, as well as throughout the day. If she was such an ardent pupil, why did she seem to pull away from Shar so often?

A sharp groan from Art pulled him from his thoughts. His legs had started to spasm and his breathing became more ragged.

The other Flaming Fist in the room ran over to his bedside.

“What’s happening?” she asked, panic evident in her expression.

“A seizure. His mind is fractured and exhausted from his time in the Shadowfell, it’s starting to have physiological consequences.” Halsin had to push his own panic down at the thought.

“Well, is there anything we can do?” She started to reach out for Art, but Halsin held out a hand to stop her.

“No, we must wait for it to pass, don’t try and restrain him.” Halsin reached out and enveloped the man with a spell, hoping it would help him to fight off the seizure. The simple cantrip could at least help buy him some time until the others returned.

He let out his held breath once Art stopped spasming a few moments later. Halsin could feel the fatigue settling in the man’s mind, so much so that his body was starting to feel the effects as well.

“I can’t say I’ve seen a Resistance spell used in that manner.” Shadowheart was now standing at the foot of the bed.

“You’d be surprised by how many spells can be applied to healing,” Halsin responded before turning back to Art.

“I have to say I’m impressed,” she continued, “to hold out this long against Lady Shar’s magic requires a strong mind.”

“That it does,” he said. “I can only pray it is strong enough to last until we find a way to wake him.” As he finished speaking, Halsin started a healing spell to help Art’s muscles recover.

“Even if you do, what difference will it make? He may have the answers you need, or he may not. These shadows were born of Lady Shar’s wrath. You’d have to be a fool to take her on alone.”

“Perhaps I am a fool,” Halsin faced her, “but I also know that a dear friend of mine has been held captive, kept away from his home for a century. I will do whatever it takes to have him returned to me. If that means clinging to a sliver of hope when I find it, so be it.”

Shadowheart’s eyes landed on Art Cullagh once more.

“The Lady of Loss teaches us that hope is a poison, a most effective one at that. It makes for a slow, agonizing death, yet you don’t even realize you’re dying. Not until it’s too late and you’re welcomed by the darkness of Lady Shar’s embrace.” She recited the words with flawless dictation, but there was little feeling behind them. Her eyes had glazed over while she spoke, devoid of any emotion.

“It’s all a matter of choice, Shadowheart. You can choose to look to the void to ease your pain, but eventually there is a price to be paid for that choice. I hope you’ve pondered what that sacrifice means before that time comes. I hope you’ve truly prepared yourself to lose everything in Shar’s name.” He kept his voice gentle and quiet.

“I’ve been preparing my entire life, of course I’ll be ready.” She tried to hide the crack in her voice with a scoff. “I’ve dedicated my life to her, sworn to spread her holy darkness where I tread.”

“And I have been preparing for this,” Halsin gestured to Art, “for the last one hundred years, since before you were born. So, I’m sure you can understand why it’s important that I follow through to the end.”

She pursed her lips and shifted her gaze to the floor.

“I do not ask that you help us, it would go against every belief you claim to hold dear. At the very least I can understand what your faith means to you, even if I do not condone it. We all need some sense of purpose to keep us moving forward. If this is the purpose you have chosen, there is little I could say to convince you otherwise.

“I do hope you can understand that this is the purpose I have chosen. I serve nature, when it is out of balance, I do what I can to tip the scales in its favor once more. Unfortunately for the two of us in this moment, that means going against Shar.”

Shadowheart looked pensive for a moment, as if she was considering his words. Halsin’s eyes fell on the small, circular wound on her hand, waiting to see if he had perhaps swayed her in any way.

Nothing.

A small commotion outside drew his attention away from her. Enthusiastic greetings rang from refugees and Harpers alike. A moment later, Tav appeared in the doorway, once again bloodied and looking just a tad more exhausted than before.

“Welcome back, my friend.” He gave her a relieved smile but saw a concerning sadness in all of their expressions. “What happened?”

“We can talk about it later,” the tears gathering in her eyes told him it wasn’t good news, “for now I think we found something of Art’s.”

Tav pulled a lute from her back. The neck of the instrument had the Fist’s name carved into it. Another swell of hope caused his heart to beat faster.

“Well done. Try playing a little, perhaps it will be enough to snap him from his trance.”

Halsin waited with bated breath as she strummed along the strings. She didn’t play a specific melody, just a few light notes that drifted away into thin air. They waited for a moment, waiting for any response or reaction.

Nothing from Art Cullagh.

He let his head hang low as his mind started to race again. Tears burned in his eyes.

So, the lute didn’t work, what else could we find that–

“THANIEL!” Art shot up in the bed, his frantic eyes darting between all the people gathered around watching him. Tav let out a startled squeak.

“He’s still trapped there – he needs help!” He continued to yell as his eyes searched the room.

“Calm. Breathe.” Halsin knelt next to the bed, keeping his voice low so as to not alarm him. “You’ve been trapped in the Shadowfell for a century – take a moment to clear your mind.”

“A century…” Art pressed a hand to his temple. “You-you’re Halsin. He said to find you.”

He felt his eyes sting again at the man’s words. Thaniel had been looking for him too.

Art suddenly gripped his arm, disrupting his thoughts. “Thaniel’s in trouble, you must help him – please.”

“I will, but first I need to know where to look.” Halsin kept a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder. “If I go charging in with nothing to go on, I’ll be lost myself.”

“I…I don’t know,” Art shook his head lightly, “the landscape in the Shadowfell shifts and changes…”

“There must have been something that remained constant.” Tav now knelt on the other side of the bed as she spoke. “Something that you only saw with Thaniel?”

Halsin paused for a moment to let him think. His heart pounded against the walls of his chest. He was so close…

Oak Father, please, help him remember.

“Lavender,” Art said. “Whenever I saw Thaniel, I always smelled Lavender.”

Lavender. Large fields of the flowers used to grow not far from Last Light. Perhaps even now Thaniel tried to preserve their sweet scent…they were always his favorite.

“I can work with that,” Halsin assured him, “rest now. We’ll take it from here.”

Tav was looking at him expectedly as he stood up.

“Meet me by the lake shore when you’re ready. I believe I may know where to find him.”

“Ready when you are.” She walked around to stand next to him.

“I can’t let you do this.”

Both Halsin and Tav whipped around to see Shadowheart standing in the doorway. Tav bristled beside him, her anger and grief hanging heavy in the air.

“Get out of the way, Shadowheart.” Tav’s voice was cold and threatening.

“The Shadowfell is Lady Shar’s domain. I cannot stand by and allow you to go and steal a prisoner from her!” Shadowheart’s voice rose with each word.

“Get out of the way, or I’ll move you myself,” Tav shot back. Halsin caught the subtle twitch her hand made for the bow on her back.

He forced himself to take a calming breath. Shadowheart stood between him and Thaniel and he didn’t fully trust his emotions at the moment. But if their conversation from earlier was any indication, perhaps he could at least convince her to stand aside.

“Shadowheart,” he started with a hand held out, “Thaniel does not belong in the Shadowfell, he’s just–”

“He belongs there if my Lady says he belongs there. If he was taken, she had her reasons, and I am not one to question them,” she hissed back.

“And isn’t that the problem?” Halsin asked, still keeping one hand up in a truce. “You are unwilling to question why Shar would steal away the very life of this land? Thaniel was not sworn to Selûne or Shar, he was simply the spirit that watched over these woods. She tore him from his home before cursing the land to eternal darkness, she has no claim to him.”

Her glare wavered for a moment before she cried out in pain and gripped her hand. Halsin’s heart continued to beat harder and harder in his chest. Though it was far from his first choice, he would fight their companion to fulfill his duty.

“As far as you know.” Shadowheart’s hateful stare returned once she recovered. “One of the key tenets of Shar’s doctrine is embracing loss. Perhaps the two of you could learn a lesson or two from her.”

Her words were Tav’s undoing. She snatched the bow from her back with a growl and aimed an arrow at Shadowheart.

“One last chance, Shadowheart,” her voice remained low and cold, but the tears gathering in her eyes had given her pause, “move out of the way, or I step over your corpse.”

“Tav! What are you doing?!” Karlach yelled as she started to reach for Tav. Halsin turned and waved her off, if anyone interfered too quickly, he worried she would kill Shadowheart where she stood.

He could see Tav’s hands shaking as she held the feathered end of her arrow by her cheek. Her lower lip trembled as she glared back at Shadowheart. Grief and guilt had blocked all thought and reason. Her eyes, usually pink as spring cherry blossoms, almost appeared red from the anger clouding them.

He placed a hand on her shoulder which caused the dam to break and her tears to spill over. Her arms continued to tremble with the effort it took to hold the arrow drawn and ready to fire.

“Tav, it’s alright. Put the bow down.”

“You heard her! She wants us to embrace Shar’s wicked creed?” she cried back at him in a broken voice that made his heart ache before turning her rage back to Shadowheart. “You think that we do not know loss? That we could never understand what it’s like to stare into the void and want more than anything for it to drag us down so we can forget?!”

Once again, Shadowheart’s glare wavered at Tav’s words.

“These shadows stole my brother from me. The only person I’ve ever loved in my long life. Even now, the weight of his death threatens to drag me down into the nine hells with every passing moment.”

A deafening silence seized the room around them as Tav’s arm continued to shake at the effort of holding the arrow’s aim.

Then, she finally dropped the weapon to her side.

“But I would rather live the next six centuries carrying it with me than allow Shar to take a single precious memory of him.”

Not a sound was made in Last Light Inn. Everyone witnessing the fight had gathered around, staring on in strained anticipation.

“Shadowheart, please,” Halsin begged as he willed his own tears to remain in his eyes, “should Thaniel remain imprisoned, this land will be encased in shadow forever more. In his eyes, he is nothing more than a child. A lost, scared child who was ripped from his home and locked away from nature, where he belongs. I have spent the last one hundred years preparing to rescue him. I truly do not wish to harm you, but I cannot, I will not, let you stand in my way.”

She clenched her jaw as she considered his words. Tav kept her fingers curled tight around her bow, an arrow still resting on the string and ready to fire.

“I will not aid you in this.” She held her glare steady.

“I do not ask you to,” Halsin replied flatly.

“Fine,” she said the words through gritted teeth, “but do not expect me to speak on your behalf should Lady Shar turn her wrath to you.”

Tav relaxed and dropped her bow to her side.

“Let’s go, Tav.” Halsin took slow, careful steps out of the room. His eyes remained locked on Shadowheart who now had a just a shimmer of guilt clouding her expression.

Once Tav was out the door, he turned back to Shadowheart, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

She looked down at his hand before jerking her arm away and storming back into the room.

Fair enough.

“Ngh, it hurts.” He heard her hiss the words as he jogged after Tav.

The rest of their companions filed after them slowly, dragging their feet and sharing uncomfortable looks. All except for Gale and Karlach, who had remained in the room a little longer.

Tav stood in the entryway of Last Light, staring down at the bow in her hands with a disgusted look on her face.

“Tav?”

She jumped at the sound of his voice before wiping away a few stray tears.

“Are you ready?” he asked gently.

“Of course. I’ll wait for Gale and Karlach to catch up.” Tav’s eyes were watching the doorway of the they had just passed through.

“Then I will go start the preparations.” He took a deep breath. “Meet me by the lake shore once you’ve gathered everyone.

***

Tav and her companions found Halsin standing on a large rock formation overlooking the lake. His face a hard mask of concentration, his entire body tensed. They had passed just beyond the edge of the moon shield, and shadows swirled around their limbs, repelled only by the pixie blessing they received. The eerie lack of sound out by the water set her nerves on edge.

Tav motioned for Astarion, Lae’zel and Karlach to stay on the ground, Wyll and Gale followed her up the rocky steps to Halsin. Lunari sat down at the base of the small overlook.

“You’re here, good. Now we can begin.” His voice was level and commanding.

“First, I’d like to know what to expect.” Tav grabbed her bow from her back, ready for anything.

“Thaniel is trapped in the Shadowfell. Thanks to your efforts in waking up the Flaming Fist, I finally know where to look. Now, I must go there – alone.” His tone suggested this was not a detail up for discussion, Tav just didn’t care.

“Hold on…alone? Into the Shadowfell? No fucking way, I’m coming with you.” Tav took a step towards him, but he held a hand out to stop her.

“No, Tav. This opportunity has been a hundred years in the making. It has to be me. Only me.” His commanding aura dropped slightly as he looked into her eyes.

“You were the one that told me no one can endure these hardships alone, yet here you are charging into the Shadowfell…alone.” Her voice rose with the panic she felt taking over her body.

“And I meant it.” He closed the distance between them to take her shaking hands in his. “But you’ve already lifted the veil for me. Something I could not have done alone. But this…this is something only I can control. It must be only me, please, Tav. Have faith in me.”

His last words caused her breath to catch. So close to the code phrase she had with Tev. Few people in her long life made the list of those she would trust, no questions asked.

Today she realized Halsin’s name had been added to that list.

“I do, Halsin.” She relaxed slightly as he pressed his forehead against hers.

“Thank you,” he whispered before continuing to address the others as well. “Besides, I didn’t just bring you here to witness an old druid’s grandstanding. I will need help from this plane if I am to return.” He let her hands drop from his.

Tav took a deep breath. She still wasn’t okay with Halsin going into the Shadowfell with no backup, but she trusted him. If he said he must go alone then she would believe that it needed to be done.

“Anything. What do you need?”

“Time. As much as you can give me. With Silvanus’ aid, I have learned a ritual that will allow me to open a portal to the Shadowfell. One that can lead me to Thaniel.” Halsin gestured eagerly as he spoke.

“Entering the Shadowfell will sap my strength. You must stay here and defend the portal at all costs. Keep it open until I return.”

“You can count on me,” she responded, anxiety seeping into her voice.

“I know I can.” He smiled softly before turning his back to begin the ritual.

“This took me years of study and seeking the Oak Father’s favor. Pray that it works.” He took a deep breath before starting.

The warm, golden hum that Tav had come to associate with Halsin’s magic swirled in the air around them, pushing some of the shadows aside. She heard him pleading with Silvanus to allow him passage, saw his hands trembling at the effort. Suddenly, a beautiful portal burst into existence before them. Energy teemed at its edges, the dancing lights cut through the shadows around them, bathing Halsin in their glow.

“It’s ready,” he said, almost in disbelief. “I’ll return as soon as I have Thaniel. Stay close, defend the portal in any way you can.”

Tav watched as he took slow, deliberate steps toward the portal, striding towards their lone chance to rid this land of the curse. He was the only person alive who could possibly do this, yet her selfish desires ached to keep him here with her. The Shadowfell could consume a person much quicker than these lands ever could. She had to trust that he would return, so long as she could do her duty here.

Just before stepping into the portal, Halsin turned over his shoulder to meet Tav’s gaze. He gave her a small nod and smiled before disappearing beyond the magical barrier.

Not a moment later, a mass of shadows and cursed, reanimated corpses descended upon them. Their focus was fixed on the portal swirling at the top of the rocky overlook.

Tav drew her bow, took a deep breath, and fired the first shot.

***

Whatever darkness choked the land around Reithwin and Moonrise was nothing compared to the cold, hollow despair Halsin felt the second he crossed into the Shadowfell. A shivering fatigue already gnawed at him, like all the warmth had been drawn from his body. Just as it was the day the curse was unleashed.

Everything felt dull, numb. No life flourished here, darkness and shadow gripped every fiber of the surrounding land. What few trees and foliage could be seen were empty and lifeless, devoid of all connection to the Oak Father. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this severed from his guiding presence.

How had Thaniel managed to survive in this desolate place for so long?

He forced himself to keep moving forward across the fractured landscape.

A sharp pain pierced his chest – the portal had taken a hit. He trusted that his new friends would defend the other side with their lives, he just needed to find Thaniel.

Open your heart, hear nature’s symphony. You know the way.

Halsin’s breath caught as he heard Silvanus’s voice drift into his thoughts. Even here in the darkness of the Shadowfell, the Oak Father’s eyes cut through Shar’s foul veil to watch over him.

He closed his eyes and concentrated, searching for anything that could lead him to his old friend. There was the ever-present scent of death in the air. The scent that seemed to follow Shar wherever she resided. But there was something else as well, he was so close to identifying the sweet smell…

Lavender.

The moment he picked up the trail, a small, golden tendril of magical light ripped through the Shadowfell to find him. A pure, incredible magic as familiar to him as his own.

Thaniel.

His strength came back to him, invigorating his muscles and propelling him through the dark plane. Running as fast as his legs would allow, he followed the winding light further into Shar’s domain. The last one hundred years of his life had led to this moment.

He would rescue Thaniel from this cursed place, or he would die trying.

***

Wave after wave of shadow beings challenged their party. Tav stood near the portal, picking off enemies along the shore from her rocky perch. She said a silent thanks to the traders at Last Light Inn who had equipped her with so many special arrowheads. The arrows she fired into the advancing enemies came alive with all kinds of magic. Fire, lightning, thunder…she had even found arrows that sought out multiple targets at a time.

Wyll and Gale were desperately repelling any enemies that had broken through their defenses away from the portal. Gale was switching between hurling balls of fire at far away shadows and conjuring powerful gusts of wind to knock closer enemies off of the ledge.

Wyll had given up on casting spells and instead danced between enemies with his rapier.

Karlach, Lae’zel and Astarion were ripping through undead flesh down below. Lunari stayed close to the steps and lunged at any enemies that managed to make it past the fighters on the ground. The clang of their weapons rang through the darkness as they dispelled a large group of cursed Harpers. However, just as the last enemy fell, a whole new set of reinforcements arrived that included Githyanki warriors.

The portal behind them had taken too many hits, the energy surrounding it was now crackling wildly instead of humming pleasantly.

“The portal can’t take much more!” Tav yelled at the others. “Fall back and defend it!”

Just as their companions reached their side, Gale brought forth a massive wall of flames to scorch the cursed corpses. The smell of burning flesh mixed with the decaying scent of the shadow curse made Tav’s stomach churn.

A soothing feeling suddenly came over her, strange in the midst of this battle. It took her a moment to register its meaning.

Halsin.

“Halsin’s close, I can feel him. Just a bit longer.” Tav shot an arrow tipped with fire into the advancing Githyanki.

An arrow came flying back at her and impaled one of her wrists. She cried out in pain, dropping her bow.

Karlach hurled a smokepowder bomb into the mix, taking down all but one of the advancing githyanki.

Of course, it was the archer that was left.

It’s always the fucking archers.

It aimed its crossbow just past her, trying to destroy the portal. Out of time and with no weapon in hand, she watched with a careful eye for the moment just before it pulled the trigger.

Easily able to determine the enemy’s aim, she dove at the last second and let the arrow pierce her shoulder.

***

Clutching Thaniel against his chest, Halsin had finally made his way back to the portal. He could feel that he was running out of time, it was close to disappearing.

“We’re almost there, Thaniel, I can see our way out now.” Halsin took panting breaths as he forced his legs to keep moving forward.

Shadows and wraiths were close on his trail. He had evaded them thus far, but they had finally sensed his presence once he plucked Thaniel from the web of cursed vines that had been holding him in place.

His strength was fading fast. He kept Thaniel held tight in his arms despite his fatigue.

Try as he might, he found himself too weak to cast any spells. No vines to deter his relentless pursuers, no healing magic to reinvigorate his exhausted muscles, no warm, radiant light to keep the darkness at bay.

At least they were close enough to the portal now that he could feel the warmth of the magical lights on his skin.

Almost there, please Tav…hold on just a little longer…

Suddenly, an icy hand wrapped itself around his arm, its fingers long freezing tendrils trying to loosen his grip on the boy in his arms. He hugged Thaniel tighter to his chest, desperate to keep him close.

Another hand grabbed his shoulder. Their touch was so unfathomably cold that it burnt his skin. They pulled at him, trying to drag him away from the portal to remain in the Shadowfell forever more.

Their hands worked their way forward to wrap around Thaniel – his arms, his torso, his throat – trying to wrest him from Halsin’s grasp. He fought and pushed to no avail, the energy around the portal waning with every passing second. A small, pained whine from Thaniel brought tears to his eyes and every horrible thought from the last one hundred years bubbling to the surface.

We’re not going to make it…

He could hear the wicked, unnatural cackle of the shadows as he felt the portal start to fade away. Thaniel let out another rasping whimper as the shadowy fingers around his throat tightened their grip.

No, I didn’t come this far to fail now.

Halsin let out a scream, pouring every ounce of rage, sorrow, and guilt he had felt over the last century into the sound. He used every last bit of strength he had left to push the darkness away.

A massive bubble of daylight was conjured around him and Thaniel, causing the shadows to relinquish their grip and fade away into the Shadowfell with a chorus of hissing shrieks.

With one final push, he leaped through the barrier back into the shadow cursed lands. As soon as he returned to the material plane, he felt his strength return to him.

“It’s done. I have him.” He was still breathing heavily. “But someth–”

He looked up just in time to see Tav launching herself in front of an arrow that was heading for the portal. The head of the arrow pierced straight through her shoulder, pushing a small splatter of blood out behind her. His heart dropped as she cried out in pain and her body landed with a hard thud on the ground. The last enemy on the lake shore was quickly taken down by their other companions.

“Tav!” Halsin yelled, running to kneel next to her, still cradling Thaniel in his arms.

“Oh good, you made it.” She smiled up at him as the portal behind them closed with a soft whooshing sound. He couldn’t help but let out a relieved laugh. Her eyes moved to the small boy in his clutches.

“Is that Thaniel?”

“Yes…but something’s wrong. Dreadfully wrong,” he whispered, tears burning his eyes. “There’s a part of him that’s…that’s missing.”

Tav slowly reached for Thaniel, resting her hand on one of his. She winced at the pain in her shoulder. Halsin saw that another arrow was protruding from her other wrist.

Guilt crashed over him in harsh waves. He was perhaps too late. All his years of study, risking the lives of his new friends, risking Tav’s life…was all for nothing. What little hope he had left when they came here began to dwindle away.

No, not yet. He can still be brought back.

“I need to get him somewhere safe. Maybe I can examine him at camp.” He looked at Thaniel, and then back to Tav. A few tears fell down his face.

“Go.” She let her hand drop from him. “Get him to safety. We’ll meet you there. I can take care of this.”

Tav’s face twisted in pain before him. How could he leave her there after she just took an arrow for him, for Thaniel? Karlach and Wyll came over to sit next to Tav. Lunari shuffled up behind them, lying next to her with a soft whine.

“We’ll look over her, Halsin. You go, we’ll bring her back to camp as soon as she can move. Gale and Astarion will go with you,” Karlach assured him.

He took one of Tav’s hands, giving it a light squeeze. She smiled at the touch. Sparing one last look at her, he turned to hurry away to their camp, Gale and Astarion following close behind him. He heard Wyll give a quick countdown followed by another cry of pain from Tav as he removed the arrows from her body. The sound was like a shard of ice in his heart, but he had to keep moving.

The fate of the entire region depended on bringing Thaniel back.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Fairytales

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,071

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav and Halsin try to work through the confusing nature of their relationship before setting out on a quest to wake Art Cullagh. Part 30 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Have a bit more fluff before we get into the angst again.

Halsin awoke on the floor of Last Light to the sound of Tav’s soft breathing on the bed next to him. He must have drifted off into a trance at some point while trying to conjure up ideas to wake the Fist, who still remained lost in sleep.

Slowly, he rolled himself up off the floor, groaning at every crack of his back at the movement.

I might be too old to sleep on wooden floors anymore.

While his body caught up with his mind, he took a moment to check on Art Cullagh from his seat.

Still no change.

He was still singing the same nonsensical tune, and Halsin could still feel the dark claws of the Shadowfell gripping his mind.

Before he could stand up, he heard a sharp breath from Tav.

“Halsin?” She bolted upright and looked around the room frantically for him.

“I���m here, Tav,” he called out. The look of relief when she met his gaze caused his heart to skip a beat. “Sorry, my friend. I seemed to have dozed off.”

“You could have just asked me to scoot over,” she teased.

Her small jest brought a smile to his face. At least her sense of humor seemed to be intact.

“And deprive Lunari of her sleeping space? Perish the thought.” He nodded toward the wolf sleeping at the foot of the bed.

Tav sat up slowly, pushing runaway hairs out of her face and stretching her arms.

“I have to admit,” she yawned before continuing, “it was nice to be in a bed for a night. Even an old and musty one.”

“I wish I could say the same. It’s incredible that the softness of dirt underneath one’s back makes such a noticeable difference.”

“Like I said,” Tav snickered as he carefully brought himself off the floor, “I could have shared.”

“Or if I had been thinking, I would have simply grabbed one of the other empty ones.” He meant the words as a joke, but he saw Tav’s face fall at his words. “Oh…”

You useless turnip.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to share with you, it’s just…” he let out a frustrated grunt.

“It’s okay,” a small smile came back to her face, “I just thought after last night that maybe…we could…maybe…” she stammered as her hands started running through her hair.

“I meant what I said, Tav,” he assured her as he sat back on the edge of the bed.

“I just thought that if you feel that way, we could still be…closer.” She looked away from him, cheeks and ears flushing a bright shade of red.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, erm,” she stuttered to find the words, “even if you did, uh, share, we wouldn’t have to…do anything.”

Her hands were shaking as she continued using them to detangle her hair, and she still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“That is a very kind, and tempting, offer,” he admitted. She finally turned to look at him again.

He sighed heavily. Gods how he didn’t want to look into those eyes and see disappointment clouding them.

“I wish I could explain my hesitations in a better manner, Tav. But know that I appreciate the thought, and I will keep it in mind,” he assured her.

“You don’t have to explain, Halsin. If you’re not ready for a relationship, that’s okay.”

He started to respond but stopped himself. He was reasonably certain that his views on relationships were quite different from her own. It was often said that any courtship between high elves and wood elves was doomed from the start. Wood elf communities were known to reject monogamy, jealousy was seen as a childish emotion in their eyes. The same could not be said of high elves.

He didn’t want to add any worries to her already troubled mind. However, if Tav had feelings for him, she deserved to know his thoughts on the matter.

“Well,” he drummed his fingers on the mattress as he tried to find the words, “my opinions on relationships are a bit…different from traditional views.”

“Oh?” She turned on the bed to face him. “How so?”

“Some treat their relationship like a walled garden – tidy, tamed, cut off from the world. That is their right, of course, but it…it is not for me. I do as nature does, and let my heart run wild. Desire flourishes wherever it finds purchase.”

Tav’s brow furrowed as she listened to him, lost in thought. “So, that’s to say you don’t believe in monogamy?”

“I believe it’s the right choice for some people, but not for me. Even in nature it has its place. The wolf mates for life, but the bear roams free, partnering where its instincts dictate.”

He felt a sudden spike of panic with his words, realizing how fitting they could possibly be for the two of them. To his surprise, she just smiled at him.

“You sound like Tev,” she said with a wistful laugh.

“Do I?” Halsin couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

“He never was one to believe we have one person out there for us and one person only. And after our time with our family,” she let out a heavy sigh, “I suppose I started to agree with him.”

“What makes you say that?”

“We uh,” she gulped, “we grew up in the Upper City of Baldur’s Gate. Everything there is a game, including ‘love.’ And our father, well…”

“You…you’re from one of the great houses?” he asked, trying not to pry too much.

“Not exactly,” she wrung her hands in her lap, “but our father was obsessed with gaining more power, more influence. We’d attend any party or gathering we could, he’d try to secure alliances by promising a marriage…to me.”

Halsin listened intently, reaching out to take one of her hands. Something in the tone of her voice told him there was more to it than that, but he didn’t press her.

“When I was younger, I was so naïve and hopeful. I thought that one of these arranged marriages could be a good match for me, that I would get to be the noble lady of a great house, managing the affairs of my family with a loving partner at my side. I thought I lived in a fairy tale for so long, that as long as I listened and acted the part of a graceful, amiable lady, I would get my happily ever after. And I was more than happy to play my part at first.” She took a shaky breath.

“Eventually I grew wise enough to see what my father was doing. Training me to be the ultimate tool of seduction on his behalf. To lure allies to his side promising me as a prize. Despite his empty vows, I always knew he had no intention of following through. Looking back on it now, it’s pathetic how often it actually worked.

“He gained confidants, political alliances, and more wealth than we ever would have needed. I gained…” She gave a derisive snort. “Well…I gained nothing pleasant.”

“Tav, that…that’s awful.” Hearing her recount her time in the city made his heart ache for her all over again.

“It could be at times,” she smiled as tears welled in her eyes, “but I always held out hope that if I went along with him, if I made my father happy and proud that maybe I’d get to choose my own path. That I’d have a say in my future…but that was just the hope of that same naïve little girl, wanting a fairy tale as her life.”

He squeezed her hand as she struggled to catch her breath.

“I stopped believing in those fairy tales the day I met Noravi.”

“Who’s Noravi?” he asked as he stroked her hand.

“The only person my father made a betrothal agreement with, a real agreement.”

“Not a pleasant arrangement, I assume?”

“I’ve yet to meet anyone worse,” she sniffled. “His family are slavers.”

She spat the words with a particular venom that he had only heard her use once before. In the Underdark.

“Grymforge…” he whispered. She averted her gaze.

“I have reason to believe his family was involved with those slaves, yes.”

“That’s why you were particularly obsessed with wiping that fortress out.”

“I wouldn’t say obsessed, committed maybe but…” Her light teasing eased some of the pain he felt on her behalf.

“The night I met him is the night Tev first ran away. He nearly broke Noravi’s jaw when he…” her lips trembled, and she was unable to finish her sentence. “I told him to run. I knew my father wouldn’t take the slight lightly.”

“What do you mean?”

“He had already threatened to have Tev sold to one of the great drow houses, or to have Noravi’s family ship him off somewhere. He didn’t appreciate Tev always stepping in and ruining his plans.”

Tav kept talking, but he found himself unable to listen at the mention of the drow houses. For someone to threaten to sell their own son in that manner? He had a hard time imagining what could twist someone into such a cruel state of mind. Halsin knew all too well the fate of surface-dwelling elves that found themselves in cities such as Menzoberranzan, especially the men.

“Halsin?” Tav nudged him.

“Hm? Apologies, I was just…caught off guard.” He forced himself to concentrate once more.

“I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to take in.” She looked embarrassed.

“It’s quite alright,” he assured her. “How did you and Tev’aron find yourselves reunited?”

“He came back for me, even after he had escaped our family’s clutches on his own. Said he couldn’t stand the thought of me being married off to someone like Noravi. We ran away together, and we haven’t spoken to anyone from our life in Baldur’s Gate since.

“Tev saw through our father’s plans long before I did. He tried to convince me, tried to get me to run away for years. But no matter what happened, he was always there to intervene when things got out of hand. He spent his evenings starting fake brawls with drunken noblemen, making sure their hands didn’t wander too far. He took every opportunity to block them from a dance, just to give me a break from my flirtatious mingling. I think I’ve missed that the most, knowing he was just out of view, ready to step in on my behalf.”

“He sounds like a good man,” Halsin said softly.

“The best. He could have left on his own any number of times. He could have stayed away once he finally broke free.” Tav had a fond smile on her face as she reminisced about her brother.

“He stayed for me. He came back for me…” Her smile faded. “And now he’s gone.”

Halsin didn’t know what to say, so he just pulled her into a hug.

“I wish I could have met him.”

Tav chuckled and pulled away from him. “He would have liked you.”

“What makes you so sure?” he teased her with a light nudge.

“Because you’re good to me. You treat me nicely and I’m happy around you.”

“That’s it? That seems like a rather low standard by which to judge me.” He started to tease, but saw the sad, distant look on her face.

“You’d be surprised.” The sudden hurt in her voice caused his breath to catch.

“Regardless, I consider it a privilege to be someone who makes you happy, Tav. I hope I can continue to do so.”

His words caused a genuine smile to return to her face.

“Can you do me a favor?” she asked as her fidgeting fingers picked at the blanket beneath her.

“Of course, anything.”

“Can you…can you not tell the others? That I grew up in the Upper City? It’s just…” she trailed off with a sigh, “It’s just that the people that live there are notoriously disliked by everyone else. I uh, I don’t want that warping their opinion of me. I left the city so long ago, it doesn’t even feel like my home anymore.”

“Your secret is safe with me, my friend.” He hugged her tightly once more, hearing a breath of relief as she relaxed in his arms.

She nodded against him, taking deep breaths.

“I think I’ve distracted you enough,” she said as she wiped her eyes, “have you thought of any way to wake him?”

“Nothing, I’m afraid,” he refocused his mind to the task at hand.

Tav stood up and went over to her bag, fishing out the letter they had found on the Fist.

“Well according to his assignment, he was supposed to be at the House of Healing. Maybe we could check there? You never know, we could find another letter, an old backpack, something that could at least find us a next step.”

It was the only possibility they had. Although, how much longer could she put off chasing the Absolute before–

Wait.

Halsin got an idea as he listened to Tav read the letter over and over.

“That’s it!” He jumped up to examine Art Cullagh again, causing a startled yelp from Tav. This time he was looking for any distinguishing physical features that could help them. Signs of any activity that could help give his mind a jolt, a way to help him remember.

“Halsin? What is it?” Tav asked once she had recovered from her fright.

“If he was able to escape the Shadowfell, then he managed to keep his spirit from being consumed – not all of it, anyway,” Halsin explained eagerly. “We need to unlock whatever’s left of him, trapped in his mind. Something to trigger him – a word, a memory, an item.”

Art had plenty of scars, but that wasn’t out of place for a Flaming Fist or someone who spent one hundred years fighting for their life in the Shadowfell. Perhaps there was a preferred weapon he used, or maybe…

Halsin’s eyes fell on the man’s fingers. Calloused on just the tips, as if from strumming a lute or a lyre.

“There,” he lifted the man’s hand gently to show Tav, “look at these callouses. He likely played a string instrument of some kind. If we can find it and play it for him, we might be able to wake him up.”

“Why don’t we just get Alfira when she wakes up? Have her play a tune to see if it helps?” Tav suggested.

“Unlikely, for it to take effect, the instrument would have had to be owned or at least treasured by him,” Halsin guessed. Tav gave a decisive nod.

“Then it sounds like we’re going to the House of Healing today.”

***

Tav watched Halsin pace around the Flaming Fist, hands gesturing all around as he muttered to himself. She started to feel remorse creep into the back of her mind. Regardless of his support, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth about her family, about who she was. Still, it had been nice to get some of that off her chest.

Their conversations played over and over in her head. Halsin’s words had given her even more to think about.

I care about you, Tav.

But in what way? The light kiss he left on her lips was quick but brimming with affection. And the way he looked at her after made her dizzy just thinking about it. Such a loving expression that was new to her, but not unwelcome by any means.

I do as nature does, and let my heart run wild. Desire flourishes wherever it finds purchase.

Did that mean she would be just another notch on his bedpost? He didn’t seem like the kind of person who only looked for a quick lay before moving onto the next. If that were the case, he would have already slept with her and moved on…right?

A small, hateful voice once again crept into the back of her mind.

You simply aren’t enough to tame that wild heart.

The quiet squeaking of the mattress startled her out of her speculations as Halsin came to sit with her once more. He was still muttering under his breath as he kept a watchful eye on Art Cullagh.

“Once the others get here, we’ll head straight for the House of Healing,” she assured him with a smile, trying to hide the hurt feelings caused by her own nasty, selfish thoughts.

“I don’t deserve you, my friend,” he said with a relieved laugh. The hopeful smile on his face made her chest feel warm and chased away some of the grief clouding her mind.

“To think…” Tav said as she watched the Fist’s chest rise and fall with each breath, “after all these years we could see the sun here again.”

“Yes, I wish I could describe the joy that the mere prospect brings me.” He turned to face her. “I can’t thank you enough for your help.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” she snorted, “we still don’t know what we’ll find at the House of Healing, but this is at least…something.”

Halsin took one of her hands. “It’s everything, Tav. Do not sell yourself short. I have felt more hope in the short time I’ve known you than in decades before. Thanks to you, I have a real chance at making that hope a reality.”

He reached over and pulled her into another hug, holding her so tightly she was sure her spine might break. The gesture burned her hateful thoughts away.

Perhaps his roaming heart needed to run wild, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t find a home to come back to every now and then. It didn't mean he couldn't care for her.

“That looks like good news!” Karlach’s cheerful voice carried through the quiet inn. She sauntered into the room with the rest of their party in tow.

“We think we found a lead on getting rid of the curse,” Tav explained as she walked over to greet them.

All of her companions perked up at her words…except Shadowheart.

“So, we’ve just dropped all thoughts of going after the Absolute now?” she snapped back. “Need I remind you of the parasites residing in our brains?”

Tav felt her lip twitch up in a snarl before calling on her parasite to connect with Shadowheart’s. They both wriggled with excitement before falling still once more.

“Sort of a hard thing to forget.” Tav glared at her.

“Must you?” Shadowheart shook off the brief mingling in her mind.

The two of them pulled faces at each other before Gale stepped in.

“Come now,” he stepped between them, holding both hands out, “surely we can take a morning to investigate a lead for a couple of our friends?”

“Friends is a rather generous term, wouldn’t you say, Tav?”

“Associates of circumstance is a fairer description, I think,” she agreed.

“Look at that!” Gale clapped his hands. “Already getting on better than we were just a moment ago. I say we take some of this newfound camaraderie and channel it into our adventures for the day.”

He made a couple more back and forth movements with his arms as Tav and Shadowheart continued staring daggers at one another.

“I think we can spare the time,” Wyll offered his negotiating skills into the conversation. “I feel it wouldn’t do well to leave this land in such a state if we can do something to help.”

Shadowheart mumbled a few curses under her breath before breaking off her glare.

“Any help would be most appreciated, thank you.” Halsin gave a small nod of his head as he launched into a summary of what he learned from studying the Fist throughout the night.

“Where we off to then?” Karlach’s chipper demeanor hadn’t been dampened in the slightest by Tav and Shadowheart’s little spat.

“The House of Healing,” Tav answered. “He was sent there on assignment according to this letter.”

“What exactly are we looking for? If he’s been trapped in the Shadowfell for one hundred years, what can we hope to find on this plane?” Wyll’s question was reasonable enough, but it sowed small seeds of doubt in her mind.

“Anything that can be linked back to him. When he was whisked away to the Shadowfell it would have been unlikely that any material objects would have been taken with him,” Halsin explained. Tav caught the smallest glimmer of doubt cross his expression as well.

“Halsin thinks he may have played a string instrument of some kind based on the calluses on his fingers. If we could find that instrument…” Tav trailed off.

“It could be just the jolt he needs to recover what is left of his mind,” Gale finished as he rubbed his chin.

“Precisely,” Halsin let out a small sigh.

“This is absurd,” Shadowheart scoffed, “we’re wasting time that could be spent chasing down the cure to our tadpoles rather than the whims of two people–”

Karlach and Wyll cut Shadowheart off and pulled her aside.

“Come on, Shadowheart, Tav just lost her brother. She needs this,” Karlach tried to whisper, but still hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it.

“They’re chasing a lie,” Shadowheart hissed back. “Halsin claims the ‘spirit of nature’ was taken from these lands? I hardly believe that. Lady Shar has no need for such a spirit, why in the nine hells would she have taken him?”

“We weren’t here that day, Shadowheart. Perhaps he was more involved than we know,” Wyll offered quietly.

“I can still hear you all,” Tav called out, not bothering to hide her aggravation. She gathered up her hair in a high tail so she could braid it while they had their not-so-quiet argument.

Karlach and Wyll exchanged a look, Shadowheart rolled her eyes.

“Listen…” Tav started with a heavy sigh as she let her finished braid fall over her shoulder. “I realize this is a lot to ask of you. I’ve said it so many times before, but we make these decisions as a group. If…”

She trailed off, fighting the tears stinging her eyes.

“If you tell me that you can’t join me in this, I understand. I won’t force anyone to come with me.” Tav looked up to see Halsin with a pained look on his face.

“But I will ask, as your friend, for your help. These shadows came from Ketheric Thorm. If we find out how to rid this land of them, we might just gain an advantage against him. We might be able to learn more about him, find a weakness. Or we might not. We may find nothing, and we’ll have simply wasted the day.” She felt her tears start to run down her cheeks.

“I won’t deny that my personal feelings cloud my judgement right now. But I truly believe that bringing Thaniel back and restoring balance to this land can help us take down Ketheric.”

Karlach was the first one to walk up next to her.

“I’ll be right there with you, soldier.”

“Helping a friend is hardly a day wasted, Tav.” Wyll smiled as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Astarion asked as he twirled a dagger between his fingers. “Let’s go hurt someone.”

Tav let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you.”

One by one, the others gathered around as well. Shadowheart stayed in place, a frown on her face and her arms wrapped tight around her torso.

“Shadowheart?” Karlach cocked an eyebrow at her. Tav held back her glare as best she could.

“I–” Shadowheart cut herself off as she gripped the Shar-bound wound on her hand, hissing in pain. “I cannot aid you in this. You’re talking about working against Lady Shar. I…” She looked down at her hand once more.

“I cannot be part of it.”

Tav felt her nostrils flare and her heart rate quicken. Karlach’s quiet disappointment was obvious as Shadowheart shuffled away from them, flexing her wounded hand at her side. Halsin came over and placed a hand on Tav’s arm. She leaned into him before Karlach started pulling her out of the room.

“You coming, Halsin?” Karlach turned to ask him.

“I think I should stay here with Art, make sure there are no changes to his condition that require my immediate attention,” he replied, giving Tav an apologetic look.

“Suit yourself, let’s go sis.” Karlach shrugged and looped an arm around one of Tav’s.

Tav looked back over her shoulder, but Halsin had turned his attention back to Art Cullagh, once again lost in thought.

Please gods let this work.

*

Tav stood frozen in place looking at the corpse-strewn battlefield before her. She held her bow in front of her in a rigid grip, the single arrow she had notched still resting on its string, unfired.

Their group had been ambushed by another group of shadow-cursed Harpers. The moment she tried to fight, terror seized her muscles, dragging her back to the previous evening. Every face had warped into Tev’s and she found herself once again unable to act.

Her companions had barely been able to keep the shadows and cursed Harpers away from her. There was a vague memory of an arrow grazing her arm, but she still felt numb to the pain.

“Tav?” Astarion startled her out of her grief-driven paralysis.

She jumped away from him, drawing her bow once more.

“Whoa! Hey!” he yelled as he held his hands up in front of his face.

“Shit,” she hissed and immediately lowered her weapon. “I’m sorry…I…I don’t know what happened…” As she spoke, she realized she had been crying. Thin streaks dampened her cheeks, cooling her skin as the wind blew past her.

Everyone exchanged concerned glances.

“Tav, we agreed to do this for you, the least you could do is be here and present for us,” Lae’zel snapped. Wyll whipped around to face her.

“Lae’zel, perhaps that’s not the best–”

“No Wyll, she’s right.” Tav cut him off. “I’m sorry, I thought I could do this. I thought if I had a distraction, I could move forward but…”

“Tav, it’s been less than a day since you lost your brother. It’s quite alright if you need more time,” Gale tried to assure her.

“No…” she trailed off and choked back the tears clouding her vision. “No, it’s been over a century, Gale. I’ve grieved his loss over and over again, it’s time to move on. You’re all taking a great risk on my behalf, the least I can do is be helpful in completing this task. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

She received a few nods and weak smiles in response.

Karlach came up and took her arm in tight grip as they resumed their walk.

“You okay, soldier?”

“I’m fine, really,” she responded, leaning against her friend. “It’s still a little hard to grasp, but…deep down I think I always knew he was gone. And now…”

She trailed off, not wanting to give her grief anymore leverage against her for the day.

“And now at least you know for sure.” Karlach finished her sentence before hugging her to her side.

“Thanks, Karlach.”

The shadows somehow seemed heavier as they made their trek across the cursed land. Tav found herself much more jittery than before. Every little curl and wisp of shadow caused her to flinch.

It’s not as if you can find him again.

She knew that Tev was gone, buried just outside of their camp. Yet around every corner, in every pocket of darkness, she still saw him.

After what felt like an eternity, they arrived at a large, domed building close to the center of town. A bronze plaque, streaked with blue and green from weathering the elements, hung on the stone that made up the stairs leading up to its doors.

The House of Healing.

Tav ran her finger over the worn metal. This building had been the pride and joy of the Thorm family. Ironic that it could also hold the key to their demise.

Fear threatened to paralyze her once more, but she forced herself to keep moving forward. Her heart pounded with a thundering rhythm as she took the first step across the threshold of the building.

The smell of death and decay greeted them in an overwhelming haze, heavier here than any other part of the shadows. Beds lined the walls on either side of the room. Bloodied rags and medical instruments littered the ground and every table in sight. Bottles filled with unidentifiable fluids and organs rotted away on the shelves.

“This has to be one of the creepiest places we’ve visited in our time together,” Karlach said as she pinched her nose shut. “And we cleared out an old crypt before talking with an undead skeleton man.”

“Keep your guard up, there could be other cursed beings here as well,” Tav warned.

She took note of the rags that looked to be covered in fresh blood, rather than the old, dried blood she saw streaking other piles. One of the corpses nearby looked to be only a few days old, and they didn’t appear to have died from the shadows.

Right on cue, she heard some mumbling from a nearby room. She motioned to everyone to follow carefully as she opened the door. The old wood and hinges creaked and groaned with the movement, adding to the unnerving ambiance of their surroundings.

In the next room, she saw what looked like a nurse of some kind, but she was strangely distant. Touched by the shadow curse, yet she somehow maintained some semblance of self. She had bandages wrapped around the top of her head, obscuring her eyes. Her tattered apron and clothing was dirtied and streaked with blood. Fresh blood.

She didn’t seem to notice their approach despite the old door announcing their arrival. Tav scanned the room, searching for any others. When her eyes finally landed on the bed in front of the undead caretaker, she let out a sharp gasp. Multiple other huffs of shock and disgust followed from her companions.

Two tieflings laid in adjacent beds, their bodies cut open, their blood seeping into the mattresses beneath them. Their familiar, unmoving faces twisted into looks of pain, hands reaching out toward one another.

Arabella’s parents.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 37

Chapter 37: A Nice, Simple Plan

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,819

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

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Summary: Tav continues to recover from her injuries. To her surprise, someone else stays behind in camp to watch over her. Part 37 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Chapters 37 AND 38 are being posted today!! Have a couple of fun camp chapters before we go back to the Gauntlet :)

When Tav finally woke up, she was in Last Light Inn, comfortably tucked into the blankets on the bed where she was resting.

A small stab of disappointment hit her when she saw Halsin standing next to the bed, staring out a window, his hands clasped behind his back. Guilt quickly followed the disappointment. After all, she was the one who told him he could set the pace for their relationship, and she meant it.

But at one point in the night, she could have sworn she felt his arms holding her. She could have sworn she felt herself nestled safely against his chest, felt the soft beating of his heart against her ear, felt his cheek nuzzle the top of her head.

It must have just been a nice dream she was having.

“Good morning,” she said as she stretched under the covers.

Halsin spun around when he heard her voice, a soft smile curling his lips.

“Good morning, Tav.” He came over to sit next to her on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got the shit beat out of me by a pack of angry earth elementals,” she groaned. Every muscle in her body was sore.

“Yes, we shall have to take Karlach’s word more seriously in the future if we deal with any other devilish creatures.”

Halsin took one of her hands to help pull her up to a seated position. His hand was on her upper back to help keep her upright.

“Here, lean back,” he moved her back toward the headboard, “let me take away some of that soreness.”

She relaxed as the familiar, soothing magic worked its way into her muscles.

“That’s much better, thank you.”

“Anytime.” He squeezed her shoulder.

“Is everyone else still at camp?”

“As far as I’m aware, yes. I think it’s still rather early for them to be awake.”

“Are they…are they okay? Was anyone else hurt?” she asked hesitantly, dreading the answer.

“Everyone is fine, my friend,” he assured her. “Potions would have been more than sufficient to take care of their wounds.”

She nodded, relieved.

“If you’re feeling up to it, I’m sure the others would like to wake up and find you there safe and sound.” Halsin was holding one of her hands now, his thumb rubbing small circles into hers. “Not to mention Lunari has probably paced a moat around camp.”

“Sounds good to me.” Tav swung her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up and nearly fell on her face.

Halsin had gotten an arm around her waist in time, keeping her up on her feet.

“Easy,” he moved her back onto the bed, “give yourself time to adjust.”

Tav threw herself back on the mattress with an irritated huff.

“Ugh, I hate feeling this helpless,” she mumbled as she covered her face with her hands.

“You are not helpless,” Halsin chuckled. “You have just come back from a near death experience. Shaky limbs are quite common after such an ordeal.”

She just grunted back at him. When she uncovered her eyes though, his expression had shifted. He looked…frightened.

“You did nearly die, Tav.” She could see the faintest shine of tears in his eyes.

“I seem to have a habit of doing that lately.”

“And yet,�� he rested a hand on her knee, “it doesn’t get any easier to see you in such a state.”

“At least you were there with me this time.”

She watched the small trembles in his lips and chin. Before she could say anything else, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her up into a hug.

“I’ve thanked the Oak Father every moment since,” he whispered into her ear.

Tav smiled and relaxed into his arms, content to be held until her legs would let her stand again.

“Now, let’s try and get you on your feet, shall we?” He stood up and offered his hand.

“Of course, I’d hate to miss whatever breakfast Gale has planned.” She happily took it and leaned onto his side.

“Here,” Halsin grabbed a folded piece of fabric and handed it to her, “it’s a bit chilly out to be in only that tunic.”

Tav looked down and immediately blushed, realizing the tunic she wore beneath her armor was all she was wearing. The garment barely covered her ass, and she just now realized how cold it was based on the two, pointed nubs on her chest peeking through the thin fabric.

She quickly unfolded the large blanket and draped it around her shoulders. Halsin’s arm helped keep it in place as he held her closer to his side.

“You didn’t have to cut up another set of my armor, did you?” Tav asked, only half-joking.

Halsin let out an amused snort. “Not this time. Karlach took it back to camp with them along with your pack.”

“Thank the gods,” Tav laughed, “I fought a fucking lava monster for that armor. I don’t think I could have forgiven you for destroying it.”

“It is good to have you back, my friend.” Halsin squeezed her a little tighter as they started their walk out of Last Light.

“Ah, you’re still with us, I see.”

They turned to see Jaheira sitting at a nearby table poring over some letters.

“Good morning, Jaheira.” Tav stood up a little straighter as she came over to talk with them.

“You gave us quite the fright, little ranger. How are you feeling this morning?"

“Sore, like I got dropped from the top of Wyrm’s Rock. But I can stand again so that’s something.”

“That is to be expected. And just where do you think you are going?” Jaheira folded her arms over her chest.

Tav gave her a baffled look. “Back to our camp. I wanted to be there when everyone woke up.”

“I’ll accompany the two of you. Should you run into trouble you’re in no condition to fight, I’m afraid, and that would leave poor Halsin alone to defend you and fight off attackers.”

“Your company is always welcome, Jaheira,” Halsin said from beside her.

Tav could feel her face growing red.

“I’m not a child. I can handle myself,” she snapped a little more viciously than intended. They both recoiled at her words.

“Then stop acting like one and let us help you,” Jaheira shot back without skipping a beat.

Halsin gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

“Of course,” Tav sighed, “I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling like myself.”

“Yes, being blown up will leave you in that state. Ergo, the offer for help.”

“Thank you, Jaheira.”

She nodded back. “Let me collect my weapons and we can be on our way.”

Jaheira turned on her heels to grab her things.

“And if you were just hoping to use this time to hold hands and giggle with one another, at least walk behind me so I don’t have to see it.” She called the words nonchalantly over her shoulder as if they weren’t the most embarrassing thing Tav could hear at the moment.

Their short walk was uneventful, much to Tav’s relief. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to handle any ‘I told you so’ looks or quips from Jaheira. Instead, she and Halsin filled Jaheira in on what they found in the Gauntlet so far. She listened in troubled silence as they recounted the fortress, no doubt feeling the same betrayal of finding such a place beneath Reithwin.

Lunari came rushing at them when they returned. She nuzzled Tav’s legs and licked at her hands.

“I’m alright, girl,” Tav whispered to her. “What have you been doing while I was gone?”

“Playing,” she said, wagging her tail. “The new little boy likes to play with me.”

She tilted her head back toward Thaniel who was camped outside of Halsin’s tent.

“Speaking of which,” his arm dropped from her shoulders, “I should go and check on Thaniel. Meet us back out here when you’re dressed?”

“Of course.”

“Come Jaheira, I’ll introduce you to him.”

Halsin had a big smile on his face as he waved for Jaheira to follow him. Tav dragged her feet toward her tent, barely able to get them lifted off the ground for each step. Despite the extra healing from Halsin, her shoulders and arms still ached horribly.

There’s no way I’ll be able to draw my bow like this.

Tav groaned at the thought before casting a spell on herself, barely alleviating the soreness in her joints. As she changed into something more comfortable, she wondered if she would be able to ask for more healing from Halsin without making him suspicious or worrying him further.

The small hiss of pain as she pulled her shirt down over her chest told her it was unlikely.

This is going to be a long day.

***

“I do not know what I expected to see when I met the spirit of this land, but a mischievous little fey boy was not quite what I pictured.” Jaheira added a few more twigs to the dying fire.

“Mischievous indeed,” Halsin chuckled, “we used to get into all sorts of trouble together. Pranks on the elders, rousing games of hide and seek, sneaking into the kitchen to snag a honey cake from beneath my mother’s nose…”

“Sounds like you were quite the little scandal yourself, Archdruid.”

“I suppose I used to be,” he admitted. “Back when I had time for such things.”

Tav joined them by the fire again once she had changed into her normal casual clothes, looking much more comfortable.

“There we are,” she said, grunting as she took a seat next to him, “good as new.”

He let out an amused snort. “I’ll believe you when you don’t have to grunt from the effort of sitting down.”

“Eh, I’m fine. Just a little sore.” She waved a dismissive hand in the air. He took it in his once it came back down.

“Tav, I’m going to ask something of you, and I need you to consider it.”

“Okay…”

“I think you should take another day to recover before joining us again.”

She pressed her lips into a hard line and flared her nostrils. Jaheira snorted behind him.

She’s taking this just as well as I would have thought.

“Halsin, I can’t–”

“Tav, please,” he pleaded with her. “I carried your nearly lifeless body across Reithwin. I listened to your ragged breaths, praying between each one that it wouldn’t be the last. It took four skilled healers to get you back on your feet. Do not go and risk your life again so readily. At least not until gather your strength once more.”

Her expression softened.

“Please, for me.” Halsin held her hand close to his chest.

He could see the conflict plain on her face. She didn’t want to stay behind; he knew how much she would hate knowing everyone else was risking their own lives while she sat in camp. But he would ask it of her anyway. The mere thought of seeing her in such a state again brought tears back to his eyes.

“Okay, Halsin. I’ll stay in camp for one more day. One day.”

“That is all I ask,” he said with a relieved smile. “I’m sure by tomorrow you’ll be back to your normal self.”

Her sullen expression threatened to break his resolve, but he knew this was for the best. At least it didn’t last long since Karlach had come running over to the fire. Tav had a bright smile on her face by the time Karlach threw her arms around her.

“Sweet hells, you scared me, sis!” she yelled into Tav’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Tav, I should have remembered the invisibility spell and told you more about those explosives–”

“It’s okay, Karlach, it wasn’t your fault,” Tav assured her as she hugged her back. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“Gods, I really thought you were done for.” She sniffled as she took the seat on the other side of Tav. “You didn’t even remember us when you woke up, or your own name. You kept saying it was ‘Ria’ anytime we’d talk to you.”

Halsin caught the flash of panic that came over Tav’s face. Her eyes went wide, and her breath hitched. He could have sworn he saw a flash of something in Jaheira’s eyes as well.

“Yeah, Halsin said I had a bit of memory loss. But it’s all back now, I assure you.” Tav recovered quickly and nudged Karlach in the side. “I remember every gory detail about our travels together.”

“Good, that’s good. And you know…about today…if you’re still feeling a little run down you could always, I don’t know, stay here in camp for a bit?”

Halsin smirked watching Karlach rub her arms and neck alongside the nervous twitches in her tail.

“It’s okay, Karlach. Halsin already convinced me to stay here.”

“Oh, whew, that’s even better. Thought I was going to have to knock you out.” Karlach let out a relieved laugh.

“Ah, yes, the perfect treatment for a head injury. More head injury,” Tav joked.

Halsin felt a goofy smile break out on his face. Gods he was happy to hear her lighthearted teasing again.

“Oh! Morning Jaheira!” Karlach peered around Halsin to wave at her. “Are you staying with us now too?”

“Ha! No.” Jaheira shook her head. “Just took a little walk to make sure these two foolhardy elves didn’t get into trouble on the way back from Last Light.”

“And don’t worry, we won’t do anything too fun without you today. I don’t even think we’re going back to the Gauntlet yet,” Karlach continued.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Shadowheart says she needs some more time to prepare for those trials anyway, so we’re just going to do some more recon around Moonrise. Figure we should be as familiar as possible before we have to take the big fight to them, you know?”

“Good,” Jaheira responded, “that means you can walk me back to Last Light on the way.”

“I’d be honored, High Harper.” Karlach beamed back at her.

“Well, that area is still dangerous, just be careful…please.” Tav reached over to squeeze Karlach’s hand.

“You worry too much.” She waved her off. “Besides, we’ll have Halsin with us and he knows this place better than anyone.”

“That’s true.” Tav turned to smile at him.

One by one, their companions emerged from their tents, everyone radiating relief when they saw Tav sitting between Halsin and Karlach. Even Shadowheart seemed to relax a little when she spotted them. Strangely, Astarion was the quietest of everyone.

Halsin had expected to hear sass from him, or any manner of jokes in regard to Tav’s near death, or some suggestive quip about the two of them remaining at Last Light together all night. Instead, he almost seemed…ashamed.

Tav continued to look a little awkward as others fussed around her. For once, Halsin wasn’t the one insisting that she sit still for a moment. Gale brought her some food, Karlach returned her backpack, and Astarion came over holding a crossbow of some kind.

“Here,” he held the small weapon out to her in one hand, “we plucked this off the orthon. I thought you might like it since you…shoot arrows and such.”

“Oh, that’s sweet of you to offer, Astarion, but I’m not one for triggers on bows.” Tav waved him off with a small laugh.

Astarion’s shoulders slumped as he let his arm drop to his side. “Ah, I see. My apologies.”

Halsin gave him an inquisitive look. The others stopped moving for a moment, all eyes warily on Astarion. It wasn’t like him to take a jest from her so seriously. They often exchanged snarky comments back and forth at least three times before one of them finally gave up. Tav tensed beside him, her face twisting with guilt.

“B-besides,” she added, stumbling over her words a bit, “a hand crossbow like that is much more suited to your fighting style. Seems to be well crafted by the looks of it, too. You should keep it.”

“Of course.” Astarion cracked a small smile before setting the crossbow aside and taking a seat across from them.

Everyone quieted their chatter at his gloomy disposition.

“Okay, well, far be it from me to delay you from your adventuring today.” Tav stood up with a groan. “I’m off to lie down for a bit.”

Halsin stood with her, offering an arm for her to take. He doubted he would ever tire of the feel of her arm gently wrapping around his. Although it had only lasted a few hours this morning, he was already certain he would never tire of the feel of her wrapped in his arms either. He wanted to walk slower, take as much time as possible with her before he left for the day, but their camp wasn’t exactly large, so they arrived at her tent rather quickly.

“Get some more rest, Tav.” He let her arm drop from his, but as she turned to go inside, he caught her hand once more.

“I…” He looked down at their hands, wanting to say more. Wanting to beg her to let him stay there with her, holding her close and watching over her. But he knew that he was needed elsewhere for the day.

“I hope you feel better,” he sighed.

“Thank you.” She squeezed his hand. “Keep an eye on everyone for me, yeah?”

“Of course.”

Halsin waited to join the others again until she had settled in her tent.

“So, where do we start today, bear man?” Karlach asked through a mouthful of food.

He tried not to let his anxiety show as he once again looked into expectant eyes waiting for his decision.

“We’ll start at the tollhouse and make our way through town. With any luck, we’ll have the area scouted before midday.”

More like a dragon’s hoard worth of luck.

***

Halsin was right, Tav had desperately needed more rest. She woke up in her tent, groggy and with drool dripping down the side of her mouth.

Lunari gave a soft whine at her movement.

“Hey, girl,” Tav mumbled as she tangled a hand into her thick fur.

“Your wolf is beautiful,” a small voice caused her eyes to snap the rest of the way open.

Tav bolted upright to see Thaniel sitting on the other side of Lunari.

“Oh, hello Thaniel,” Tav let out a soft laugh as her heart rate slowed back to normal. “You startled me, love.”

He just grinned back at her.

“She is beautiful, isn’t she?” She smiled as the wolf rolled over on her back to let Thaniel scratch her stomach.

“It has been a long time since I have gotten to enjoy the company of animals,” he said wistfully. It was strange to hear such a tone out of someone who looked like a small child.

“That must have been difficult for you.” Tav pushed the rest of the fatigue still left over from her trance. “Halsin told me a bit about you, about your connection to this land.”

Thaniel kept his eyes fixed on Lunari, his innocent smile still shining bright. “Halsin Silverbough is a good friend – to me, and to nature. It was frightening being trapped in the Shadowfell, but I always knew he would make his way back. I know how he mourned after the shadows took over the land. I could feel it.”

“You could feel it?” Tav cocked her head to the side.

“His grief was heavy, Tav. Heavy enough to cut through the planes, heavy enough to draw the attention of Silvanus. I could hear his pleas, his promises that he would return, but I was not strong enough to speak with him.”

She listened to Thaniel speak about his time imprisoned, locked away from nature and his home. She felt her heart grow heavier as she told him about the misery Halsin lived in while he studied a way to banish the shadows.

“He feels much lighter now,” Thaniel continued. “Like a great weight was lifted from his very soul.”

“He was beyond happy to find you alive, Thaniel.” Tav reached over and rested a hand on his shoulder. “I know how much you mean to him.”

“Not only that,” his grin took on a more impish shape, “I think you helped lift that weight too, Tav.”

“I was happy to help bring you back, love,” she assured him.

“Be that as it may, my return was not what brought the light back into his life. He was already shining brighter before he crossed the threshold of this land.”

Tav bit back a smile. “You’re a cheeky little thing, you know?”

“I am a fey, after all. Mischief is in my blood.”

When Halsin said Thaniel had the essence of the forest in his eyes, she had a hard time picturing what he meant. Now, staring into them, she still found it hard to describe. She watched as they shifted, taking on different colors, each of them more breathtaking than the last.

Looking at Thaniel now, she could easily tell why he was so important to Halsin, how their friendship could have lasted hundreds of years.

“I’m happy that you and Oliver are safe, Thaniel. I’ll do what I can to make sure you stay that way, that you get to see the sun shining on your home again.” She fought back tears welling in her eyes.

“Thank you. It is nice to have new companions that take care of nature’s creations as well.” Thaniel stood up.

“We shall speak again soon, once Halsin returns.”

Tav nodded as he walked out of her tent. Lunari followed, undoubtedly hoping to coax more belly rubs from him.

She decided to get up and stretch a bit. The pain had subsided from her body, but gods was she stiff.

To her surprise, Tav found Astarion pacing around the fire when she left her tent. He was still holding the small crossbow, mindlessly plucking at its string.

“Careful fiddling with that,” she called out, “you’ll end up with too much slack in the string.”

Despite her soft voice, he jumped.

“Tav!” he blurted out her name. “You…you’re awake.”

“Yeah, I guess Halsin was right,” she pulled at a piece of hair hanging past her shoulder. “I just needed a little bit more rest.”

“Oh, of course…that’s…that’s good.” He placed the crossbow on his belt and started wringing his hands in front of him.

“Are you alright, love? I didn’t expect to see anyone else staying in camp today.”

“Well, I sort of erm, volunteered. You know, to make sure you didn’t try and die on us again.” He flashed a sarcastic grin at her. “Honestly, Tav, you really ought to be more careful when teleporting yourself around a battlefield without any awareness of your surroundings. Anyone with eyes could have seen that bomb sitting there, you lunatic. But no, you just went charging in as usual…”

As Astarion continued berating her, she felt herself bristling at his words. After all, the only reason they were fighting that orthon in the first place was to help him.

She was ready to exchange insults in the same grouchy tone, until she caught the shine of tears in his eyes.

“It wasn’t your problem to deal with, Tav. Why would you just throw yourself at a fucking orthon like that?!”

A small crack in his voice let the realization settle over her.

He felt guilty that she had gotten hurt. If she didn’t know any better, Tav would say he had been scared.

She forced herself to soften her expression.

“I knew how important it was to you to get that information from Raphael, Astarion.”

“I thought you died, Tav,” he snapped. “Had Halsin and Shadowheart not been there, you would have died.”

“I’m sorry if I worried you, love,” she responded softly. “But I’m fine now. It was sweet of you to stay behind.”

She took a seat by the fire, patting the spot next to her.

“Well,” the muscles in his forehead relaxed and the teasing gleam in his eyes returned, “I am nothing if not sweet.” To her relief, he came and sat beside her.

Tav bumped their shoulders together, bringing a small smile to his face.

“There was actually another reason I stayed behind today,” he continued, his voice quiet. “I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

“Oh?”

“I erm...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “The other day, with the drow, I still can’t quite shake the encounter out of my head.”

She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brow.

“You stood up for me. You…supported me.” Astarion averted his gaze to the ground.

“Of course I did,” Tav smiled at him, “she was being a real piece of shit.”

“Be that as it may, I still feel the need to say…thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Astarion.” Tav flashed him a friendly smile, but he looked like he had more on his mind. “Is there something else?”

“It’s just that it wasn’t like me to deny her. I was being too foolish, wasn’t I? That potion could have been useful. Especially considering how that fight with the orthon went.”

“But…” Tav tried to keep up with his thoughts. “If you didn’t want to bite her, then that’s the end of the discussion. Useful potion or not.”

“All it would have cost me was a moment of unpleasantry. I could have gritted my teeth as usual and let her have me for a bit.” He continued speaking almost as if he didn’t hear her.

As usual?

The look on his face had grown distant.

“It makes me sad to hear you talk about yourself like that, love,” Tav whispered back.

“Why? I’m only being realistic. What could be more desirable than a vampire, darling?” His flirty quip was weakened by the misty haze clouding his eyes.

“At least that’s what I thought,” he continued, quickly drying the tears before they could fall, “so imagine my frustration when you wouldn’t fall for my charms.”

“What?” Tav blinked at him, certain that she heard him wrong.

“Oh Tav, I pulled out all the stops to try and seduce you, but you were having none of it. I had a nice, simple plan. One that hinged on you being driven mad with lust but apparently this tadpole has also eaten away some of my charm.”

“I…” Tav could feel her cheeks and ears burning. “I didn’t realize that was something you wanted.”

“Well, it wasn’t wanted, per se, I mean you’re a pretty little thing, don’t get me wrong.” He waved his hand in front of his face. “I just thought that if I could get you into bed, you’d be less likely to abandon me somewhere. Everyone wants something in return, my dear.”

She stayed silent, no words coming to mind that could be of comfort to him.

“But I had nothing for so long, nothing to barter with, nothing to buy my freedom. I didn’t even have my body – that belonged to Cazador. Sending me out to lure poor fools back to him. I thought I had learned my lesson. To take every little advantage you can get and yet…I turned the drow down.

“I have bedded thousands of people. I hardly remember half of them. And even more still didn’t grant me so much as temporary bliss. It should have been easy to let that drow use me for her fantasy.”

“I would never ask you to do that,” Tav assured him.

“I know,” that genuine smile came back to his face, warm and soft, “you’ve shown me I don’t need to. That I have the strength to make my own decisions.”

“Of course you do, Astarion. You just needed the time to figure out how.”

“You gave me the strength to be able to admit I…care for you.”

Tav’s heart dropped for a moment. As sweet as the sentiment was, she didn’t have romantic feelings for him. She cared for him deeply, but as a friend. As a brother.

Please, Astarion, please don’t say you’re in love with me.

“You have been my first friend in two centuries, Tav. The first person to not want me for my body, to not want me for sex and nothing else. I don’t…” He let out a frustrated grunt.

“I don’t know how to put it into words. Because I don’t want that kind of relationship with you, but for some reason I still want to be close to you.”

Tav breathed a relieved sigh. “Astarion, that’s called having friends. You should feel that kind of care and attachment to your close friends, even without romance and sex.”

“I’ve never felt that with anyone in the last two hundred years,” he admitted in a small voice.

“Then let me put your mind at ease, my friend.”

She reached over and took one of his hands.

“I care for you too, Astarion. Not for your body, not for your pretty face or perfect curly hair. I like you because despite all of the horrible things that have been done to you, you’re reaching out and trying to be better. Because even though it went against your better judgement, you’ve supported me throughout our travels. I love being around you because I have fun with you, and I know you have my back.”

His red eyes shone with tears in the firelight. Tav didn’t realize just how round and soft they were until now.

“I care for you because you have become a dear friend to me, dare I say a brother.”

“That’s…that’s a relief to hear, I suppose,” he said with a quiet chuckle.

Tav started to reach out again but hesitated. Astarion didn’t flinch away like he had so many times before, so she moved one of her hands up to rest on his shoulder. Then the other. He hadn’t pulled away yet, so she drew him into a hug. It took him a moment, but he was able to reach up and hug her back. The feel of those white curls against her cheek threatened to bring her grief crashing back down on her, so she held him a little tighter.

“For what it’s worth,” she said when she finally released him from her embrace, “Cazador Szarr was hated by pretty much anyone of real importance in the Upper City.”

“And how in the nine hells would you know that?” he asked.

“Oh, uh,” Tav started to panic as she scolded herself for her carelessness, “I grew up near the Upper City. My mother was a talented seamstress and got a good job working for one of the shops there. I was lucky enough to attend a few parties in my time.” It wasn’t a total lie.

“Ah, I always sensed just a hint of refinement about you under all that dirt and grime, darling,” he aimed his dazzling, fanged smile at her. “And yes, it does make me feel better to know his obvious grabs for power were as transparent as they felt.”

She took a shaky breath to keep her composure.

“Which shop?”

“What?”

“Where does your mother work? There’s such a fine selection of tailors in the Upper City, but to grant you invitations to parties? She must have been capable indeed.”

Tav froze, for some reason she tended to forget how intimately familiar with the city some of her new companions were.

“Let’s see, was it the Facemaker’s Boutique? Not in the Upper City, but Pennygood does cater to many of the lesser families.”

Seeing no reaction from her, he continued listing various shops.

“The Lion’s Mane? Alluring Threads? Surely not The Orchid’s Oasis?”

The last name caused her eyes to go wide.

“Ah,” Astarion caught the panic in her expression. “So, your mother works for the Mendelre family?”

“She…she did, yes,” Tav stammered.

“That is an impressive connection.” Astarion’s voice was full of admiration with just a touch of jealousy. “From what I understand that shop is booked out for months. You’re lucky to just get in and browse the selection.”

“The owner always curated the best pieces from what I understand,” Tav whispered. She hoped her voice was quiet enough that he couldn’t hear the cracks.

“Yes, well, over the last few decades the list grew longer and longer. As I’m sure you know, the owner is still Lady Omylia Mendelre herself. Ever since they lost their daughter all those years ago, it seems her inspiration has waned. Then again, that could just be the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette reaching for words to fill their pages.” He rolled his eyes.

Tav surprised herself with the tears filling her eyes. Surely it was just gossip, her mother wouldn’t have cared so much about her disappearance that she would have let her work suffer…would she?

My most perfect model…

While lost in her thoughts, she had given up all pretense of hiding her emotions.

There was a brief flicker across Astarion’s face, something resembling a vague recognition as he stared at her. She could see him trying to make connections in his mind. It wasn’t until now that she realized, out of all her companions, he was the only one who might actually know who she was. The only other person from Baldur’s Gate who would have been alive when she left the city.

Beneath the scars, freckles, and added muscle, he might just be able to piece together that she was that long-lost daughter.

She chuckled to break the silence. “I don’t want to bore you talking about Baldur’s Gate fashion gossip.”

He nodded slowly, those piercing red eyes still studying her features.

“Oh, but there’s so much gossip to be had, my friend.” His expression shifted to be less serious. “I’m sure you can tell some tales about terrible high fashion if you were in attendance of those lavish events.”

If you only knew.

She tucked a curl behind his ear, still desperate to steer the conversation away from her family. “So, despite me ruining your nice, simple plan, I hope being friends can be enough for you.”

He reached out to take her hand, seeming content to drop the subject. “I can’t say that I’ve ever really had a friend before. I’m not quite sure what to do now that I have one but this…I know this is nice.”

Before she could say anything else, she heard voices approaching their camp. The others must have returned.

Tav gave him another smile before dropping his hand.

“You owe me nothing, I hope you know that.”

“I do. Thank you, Tav.”

That was a close call.

She took a few steadying breaths, thankful that her past remained known only to her.

For now.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 41

Chapter 41: In Darkness We See Your Truth

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,059

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

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Summary: Tav and the gang make the return to Shar's Gauntlet to find the Nightsong. Part 41 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Tav and Shadowheart have a couple of heart to heart conversations....are the girls done fighting??

Tav’s night was restless. The realization that they would be going further into the Shar temple later that day made it difficult to relax. Not to mention the late-night conversation she had with Gale.

Once it was clear she wouldn’t be getting any more rest, she decided to go and sit by the fire instead. Shadowheart was awake and staring intently at the flames in front of her.

“Quiet night?” Tav asked.

“So far nothing out of the ordinary,” Shadowheart replied, her eyes never leaving the fire.

“I can take over watch if you’d like to get some rest.” Tav took a seat across from her.

“That’s alright, I’m not really sure I could get much rest right now anyhow.” Shadowheart’s voice was small and quiet.

“I suppose this could be a rather important day for you,” Tav said with a light sigh. She tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice, but could still hear it creeping in.

“I can only hope,” she responded, seeming unphased by Tav’s comment.

The two of them sat in uneasy silence for a while. Tav fiddling with her hands in her lap, Shadowheart poking at the fire with a long stick.

“Tav, I…” Shadowheart sighed and averted her eyes. “I never told you how sorry I was that you had to find your brother here.”

Tav’s head snapped up to look at her.

“I’ve seen how the cursed corpses behave,” she continued, her voice softer, “I can’t imagine seeing someone you love warped into that.”

“Thank you, Shadowheart,” she whispered back.

“You…you’ve been supportive the last few days while we made our way through the Gauntlet. I know that wasn’t easy for you to do, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

Tav was taken aback by the sincerity in her tone.

“You’re welcome.” She smiled back at her. “If I can be honest, it’s a bit of relief that I don’t have to stomach these trials myself. No offense.”

“None taken,” she snorted.

“If you do complete the trials and prove yourself, will you still be traveling with us?”

“I suppose I’ll have to wait and see what Lady Shar has to say about it. She may give me a new assignment once I become one of her Dark Justiciars.”

Tav chewed on her lip for a moment, unsure of how to respond.

“Although, it’s unlikely. Surely this Absolute would be of interest to her as well if I was sent to retrieve the artefact. I wasn’t aware of its function when I was assigned the mission, but now I wonder if she perhaps had her own motives against the cult for obtaining it.”

“Not a bad theory,” Tav admitted. “I suppose we’ll have an answer soon enough, though.”

They sat and watched the fire for a little while longer, the silence between them more comfortable this time. Tav watched the smoke from the fire curl up in dancing tendrils. The veil it created over Shadowheart’s face reminiscent of the barrier she felt between them.

Surprisingly, Shadowheart was the first one to speak again.

“Soon after we met, you saw this wound on my hand flare up. Before you knew what it was, you asked if there was something you could do to help,” she recalled.

“I did.”

“You sounded so sincere,” Shadowheart laughed halfheartedly, “I thought perhaps we’d get on better than we have.”

“I was being sincere,” Tav responded. “I thought perhaps it was an old wound that hadn’t healed properly, that maybe I could help mend it. Which I realize now sounds ridiculous when I was talking to a cleric who could have done it herself.”

Shadowheart let out an amused hum.

“Once I found out it was given to you by Shar…” She tried to find the words, but she was no longer sure of where she was going with her thoughts.

“I can’t say I’m not used to the reaction,” Shadowheart admitted. “Most everywhere I go I see Shar worship vilified. Mainly by those who didn’t understand my Lady’s purpose.”

Tav bit her tongue, despite the hateful words gathering at its tip. Shadowheart was reaching out, sharing, she didn’t want to push her away right now.

“That…that must have been difficult. Being met with nothing but dissention wherever you go.”

“It could be, I suppose it helps that I can’t remember many of those times.” Tav caught a brief smirk on Shadowheart’s face.

“Was…was that a joke?” She grinned back at her.

“I think it was.” She returned the smile.

Tav watched as Shadowheart flexed her right hand, hearing the light pops in her fingers as she wiggled them.

“Does it hurt for long after?” she asked softly.

“Not usually,” Shadowheart grunted as she readjusted on her seat, “I think it’s just flared up often enough in a short time that the muscles are a little sore right now.”

“Do all Sharrans have a wound like that?”

Shadowheart hesitated before answering. “No, not that I’ve seen.”

“Then…why you?” Tav asked the question with genuine interest, but Shadowheart started to lean away from her.

“It’s just something I have to live with, and trust that I’ll have confirmation that my suffering wasn’t needless.”

She sounded so hopeful, yet there was the smallest crack in her voice. Tav had no idea why Shar had chosen her to torment, but something in her gut told her it wasn’t a blessing.

“Of course. You don’t have to share anymore about it if you don’t want to.”

Shadowheart seemed to relax as she dropped the subject, until Lunari came padding over to flop down at Tav’s feet. She saw Shadowheart tense once more, keeping a wary eye on the wolf.

“Sorry, I can send her to my tent if you’d like,” Tav offered.

“No, no it’s alright.” She kept her eyes on Lunari but didn’t move away from her. “How did you find her?”

Tav smiled at the memory before she spoke.

“I found her as a pup almost three years ago. Her mother had been killed by some hunters, and she was the only survivor of the litter. She was curled up next to her mother’s body, half-starved and frightened.” Lunari nuzzled up against Tav’s legs. “She’s been by my side ever since.”

“She’s very loyal,” Shadowheart whispered.

“My best girl,” Tav chuckled as she scratched the wolf’s ears.

“How did she get abducted onto the nautiloid as well?” She still tracked each of Lunari’s movements carefully as they spoke.

“She didn’t. I used to have an amulet that let her reside in another plane when needed. It cracked when we crashed, so I haven’t been able to have her return to it since.”

“Do you still have it?” Shadowheart asked, head cocked to the side.

“Somewhere in my tent.”

“Perhaps Gale and I could take a look at it sometime. See if we couldn’t get it working again.”

She felt tears sting her eyes at the suggestion. “That…That’s very kind of you to offer, thank you. Truth be told, I’ve been very worried about her. Usually if things get too dangerous, I can just whisk her away to safety, but not anymore.”

“Could…” Shadowheart’s breathing had quickened. “Could I pet her?”

Tav must have looked shocked.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Shadowheart groaned, “it’s just…I feel like I need to get over this fear and perhaps…she could…help.”

“Of course,” Tav smiled back at her, “just come give her a little scratch behind the ears, she’ll love you forever.”

Shadowheart took a deep breath before making her way around the fire. She reached out one hand and slowly moved toward Lunari. Tav watched her squeeze her eyes shut as her hand landed on the wolf’s head. Lunari’s tail thumped on the ground as soon as her hand met the soft fur under her ears.

“Oh, that’s not so bad I suppose. I just needed – Ah!”

Shadowheart let out a startled yelp when Lunari licked her wrist, causing her to stumble back and fall onto the ground. Tav cackled loud enough she was sure she’d wake the whole camp. To her surprise, Shadowheart joined in after a moment.

“I guess I’m still a little jumpy,” she said as she stood up and brushed herself off.

“That’s okay, you can always try again tomorrow,” Tav assured her.

The two of them shared a moment of content silence.

“I uh, I think I will try to get a little bit of rest, even if I just close my eyes for a bit,” Shadowheart said after a few minutes.

“Of course…goodnight, Shadowheart.” Tav smiled back at her.

She responded with a small nod before walking away to her tent.

***

Halsin didn’t expect to see anyone but Tav awake by the fire, yet when he left the confines of his tent, he saw Shadowheart standing off to the side with her. It was only a moment later that Shadowheart turned to go to her tent.

But she wasn’t storming away or even looking mildly annoyed, neither was Tav. She was…smiling. A genuine smile as she watched Shadowheart walk away. Usually when he saw the two of them speaking, he was ready to pull them apart by their braids if necessary to keep them from fighting.

Shadowheart saw Halsin coming out to the fire and gave him a small smile.

“Good morning, Shadowheart.” He called out as they approached one another. “How is your side feeling?”

“Much better, thank you.”

“That is good to hear.” He gave her a small pat on the shoulder as she passed by him before continuing on his path toward Tav.

“Good morning, my friend,” he said softly as he reached her side.

“Morning.” Tav smiled wider as she looked up at him.

“You two seemed to be rather sociable,” he teased. “Not a hint of a glare could be found in your eyes.”

“Well, she has been helping us work our way through Shar’s temple. I certainly don’t want to be the one taking those trials.” Tav shuddered at the thought. “I may not agree with her, but she’s been amiable ever since our…incident.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Halsin took a seat next to her.

“What do you think we’ll find today when we go back?”

“Nothing pleasant, unfortunately. Regardless of any amity with Shadowheart, we’ll be delving deeper into a temple of Shar.”

“That we are,” she sighed.

This could be your last chance…tell her how you feel.

The words that came out of his mouth were not the words he had formed in his mind, but he meant them, nonetheless.

“Whatever happens today, Tav, I want you to know how grateful I am to have met you.”

She turned to smile at him again. “The feeling is very mutual.”

Tav looped one of her arms around his and laid her head on his shoulder.

Despite the anxiety trying to creep into his mind, Halsin tried to just enjoy another morning talk with her, desperately hoping that it wouldn’t be the last.

***

When they returned to the Gauntlet, Tav found herself on yet another elevator ride.

She muttered curses under her breath as she climbed onto the disc. This ride was even longer than the others, causing her to bury her face in Halsin’s shoulder again. Once they had lurched to a stop, Tav hurried off the platform before it could move again.

Shadowheart held the last umbral gem in her hand, taking a deep breath before seating it into the pedestal identical to the one they just used above.

The door in front of them parted to grant them access to another room. A soft blue glow could be seen emanating from the end of the corridor.

As they made their way in, the air around them seemed to shift. Tav felt it start to encircle Shadowheart, like an embrace from an old friend.

With Tav, on the other hand, this presence seemed to be trying to repel her. She felt the need to look over her shoulder, could feel invisible eyes boring into her soul. Everything about this room screamed to Tav you’re not welcome here.

But Shadowheart marched onward, so Tav followed.

They came to a shimmering pool. Shadowheart fell to her knees at its edge, lost in prayer.

“Okay, I’m ready,” she said decisively.

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?” Karlach looked around the room.

“Below.” Shadowheart took a deep breath and stepped into the pool.

Tav followed, taking slow, tentative steps forward. Despite her cautious approach, she felt her balance waver. Cold, invisible hands were grasping at her legs, pulling her deeper…deeper…

Then, she was sinking. Falling. Careening downward in an uncontrollable freefall.

She screamed, but no sound came. Her throat burned with the effort as she was dragged further down.

The soft glow of the pool had quickly given away to nothingness. Tav saw nothing but the black of the void all around her until…

She was awake.

She blinked away the strange nightmare that brought her here and found herself staring up into an endless expanse of shadowy fog.

Groans from the others shocked energy back into her muscles. She got up and helped pull everyone to their feet.

“We made it,” Shadowheart gasped. “The Shadowfell, Lady Shar’s domain.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Tav peered over the edge of the rock where they landed.

Nothing but a tempest of clouds and haze surrounded them. She thought the shadows around Reithwin were cold, but they may as well have been summertime in Amn compared to the horrible chill she felt here in the Shadowfell.

In the middle of this strange collection of levitating rocks, far beneath them, was a large, circular platform of sorts. It was illuminated and Tav could just make out something in its center but couldn’t tell what it was from their current spot.

“That’s where we’ll find the Nightsong.” Shadowheart pointed toward that large platform.

“How in the hells are we supposed to get down there?!” Tav’s voice rose higher with each word until they were a shrill cry.

She smirked back at her. “We jump.”

Shadowheart took a running start before jumping to the nearest rock beneath them. Karlach cackled wildly as she followed her down. Tav’s breath caught in her throat until she watched the two of them land with ease, light as a feather.

“Last one to the bottom is an ogre’s ball sack,” Astarion snipped at Tav before following them off the edge.

“I’ll gladly wear that title if it means I don’t have to jump.”

“Come on, Tav.” Halsin held his hand out with a smile.

“I…I can’t…” She shook her head and backed away from him until she realized she would just be falling off the other edge of the rock. “Just come back for me. I’ll just stay here and make sure no one tries to follow us.”

She sat down and crossed her arms and legs like a petulant child. Halsin still had his hand outstretched.

One by one, their other companions had leaped from their starting rock, gradually making their way further into the Shadowfell. She refused to meet Halsin’s gaze.

“Tav…”

When she finally looked up again, he had a patient smile on his face.

“I won’t let you fall. I swear it.”

She spared one more glance over the edge, regretting it immediately. But for some reason, she found herself standing and taking his hand.

“On three?” Halsin held her hand tight as he pulled her to the edge. She could only nod in response.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

They jumped together, landing safely and gracefully on the rock beneath them.

Four more times they had to do that. By the time they were catching up to the others at the bottom, Tav’s nerves were fried, and she was lightheaded from holding her breath.

Seeing the so-called Nightsong did nothing to help those ailments.

In the center of the large platform, there was a woman. Not just a woman…an aasimar. Tav recognized the telltale markings that lined her skin.

She was bound by an invisible cage of sorts. Anytime she strayed too close to its edge, translucent, ghostly hands would reach up to pull her back.

“I have felt you coming. The first in a century.”

The woman spoke calmly but her eyes smoldered with rage.

Tav looked around, confused. Halsin seemed to share in her concern as Shadowheart strolled up to her.

“You, who have come to seek the praise of your wicked goddess. You, who have come to drive a dagger through my heart.” She tried to storm forward toward them, but the spectral hands came back to grab her arms and legs, pulling her back from the edge.

“Her fate is mine to seal. Let me handle this.” Shadowheart spun around to snap at Tav.

“Shadowheart,” Tav started, her heart pounding, “is this truly what you want?”

She hesitated. “I…yes, I think so. I mean, my whole life’s been leading to this. I can’t turn back now.”

“But…but the Nightsong isn’t just some relic, she’s a person. You’d sacrifice her life without question?”

“There is no question to ask, Tav. My Lady has asked this of me, so I must do as I’m bid.”

“Well, well, well,” the aasimar chuckled. “What’s that I sense? A spear intended for my heart, empowered by your goddess. Empowered to kill the child of a god.”

Tav hardly dared to breathe as she listened. The child of which god?

“Do you not know who I am, little assassin? Do you not know the name Dame Aylin?” She paced back and forth in her invisible cage. “For I know you.”

Shadowheart’s hands trembled around the spear, gripping it tight as her knuckles turned white.

“Just a lost little girl, frightened by wolves in the dark,” she snapped at Shadowheart.

“What…what did you say?”

A small crack in Shadowheart’s defenses caused Tav’s tadpole to writhe in excitement, their minds melding for just a moment. Long enough for her to see a fraction of a memory.

A young girl with black hair favoring a scratch across her nose. The wolf in front of her snarled as dark mages circled around it. The connection faded as quickly as it came, but not before the realization could slam into Tav like a charging deep rothé.

Oh gods…I’ve had it all wrong…

At that moment, she saw Shadowheart in the same light as this Dame Aylin did. A lost little girl, looking for guidance. In the back of her mind a thought nagged at her. What if Shar had seen that lost little girl and promised her guidance only to give her the abyss instead?

What if…what if she could still be swayed from this path?

A new look of vulnerability gleamed in her eyes, causing her to look so much younger. Being an elf, Tav sometimes forgot how truly young so many of the others around her were. She had a hard time imagining how they managed to grow and live such full lives in such a short span.

Regardless, Tav was certain that they could not allow Shadowheart to kill this aasimar.

She knew what she needed to do.

***

Halsin watched with bated breath as the argument unfurled before him.

“You have to decide for yourself, Shadowheart. You cannot allow your goddess to control your every whim!” Tav marched forward to plead with their companion.

Tears shone in Shadowheart’s eyes as she held her glare against Tav’s. The air boiled with her anger, stewing them in its hateful brine.

“This is my mistress’ will, my life’s purpose!” she yelled back at Tav.

The others around him chimed in, pleading with Shadowheart not to follow through. Halsin desperately wanted to state his case, but there was nothing he could say to her that she didn’t already know. She was well aware of his and Tav’s aversion to her Shar worship. What could they say that could possibly dissuade her?

He looked around to his companions as they argued, fueling Shadowheart’s rage further.

She whipped around to snap back at them with a frustrated hiss, “if I have to walk over your corpses to complete my duty, so be it.”

Finally, his eyes landed on Tav, who simply walked up and stood between her and Dame Aylin.

“That sounds familiar, don’t you think?” Tav mused with a sad smile.

She took her bow from her back and the sword from her belt and dropped them to the ground. The action seemed to stun Shadowheart for a moment.

“Then do it.” She shrugged as she stood with her shoulders squared to Shadowheart. “Strike me down with that spear, prove that you’re ready to murder an unarmed ally in Shar’s name.”

“She is not an ally! She is an enemy of Lady Shar.”

“So am I.” She held her stare. “I killed dozens of Dark Justiciars with my own two hands during the fighting a century ago. And she,” Tav pointed back towards the aasimar, “is our key to defeating Ketheric Thorm. Which makes her an ally. At least to me.”

Shadowheart’s glare wavered, and she lowered the spear ever so slightly before pointing it back at Tav. The gesture caused Halsin to let out a small gasp and twitch forward, but Tav’s eyes found his and silently begged him to back down.

“Please, Shadowheart,” her tone softened, “you don’t have to do this. I’ve seen too many people in my long life warped and twisted by Shar’s dark magic. Don’t make me watch it happen again.”

“As if it even matters to you,” she scoffed back, sounding hurt. “You don’t get to stand there and pretend that you care about what happens to me. Our entire journey, you’ve made it clear what you think of me.”

“Yes. Yes, I have, I allowed my own prejudice to blind me to the truth right beneath my nose.” Her lower lip started to tremble. “You don’t belong with Shar, Shadowheart.”

Halsin’s eyes stung hearing her soft words. Tav had apparently come to share his suspicion that Shadowheart’s devotion to Shar was more forced than that of a true disciple. A couple of tears rolled down Shadowheart’s cheeks. Her eyes darted between Tav and the aasimar a few times before looking down at her spear.

“I remember how you supported me when we saved those tiefling refugees and the gnomes in the Underdark. When we saved every person in need along our journey. I saw how you cared for animals and children and the life around you. You dragged me unconscious through the Underdark after I nearly died. Twice you’ve saved my life now. You healed my wounds in and out of battle despite our differences.” Tav sniffled.

“All pure happenstance.” The small crack in Shadowheart’s voice betrayed her.

“And I see how often that wound on your hand causes you pain,” Tav continued. “Every time you dare to have a thought that deviates from those of your Dark Lady, she punishes you for it. If you were truly as devoted as you say, why defy her so often? Why show compassion and hope when you know it will cause you pain? Why not give in to hate and despair and emptiness to ease your suffering?”

The creases in Shadowheart’s brow deepened as she studied the weapon in her hands.

“Dame Aylin knows something about you, Shadowheart. Something isn’t right here, I can feel it. And I think you can too.”

Everyone stood still as statues as their two companions stared each other down. One wielding a spear sent from Shar herself, the other wielding nothing but a heartfelt plea.

“This has to be your decision but know that you don’t have to face it alone. Make your way into the light once more or fall backwards into Shar’s embrace. But if you want to kill her…” Tav closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’ll have to kill me first.”

Every muscle in Halsin’s body tensed at her words. He watched as Tav took a step forward, so the pointed tip of the weapon pressed into her torso.

A moment passed. Then another. The silence between them stretched on for what seemed like eternity. Then, sharp gasps rang through the air as Shadowheart reared back her spear, ready to strike.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 14

Chapter 14: A Wilting Flower

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,425

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Another chapter focusing on Tav'ahria's backstory as her reluctant engagement to Noravi Sylvyre is being announced. **Mind the new tags!** There is a brief mention of suicidal thoughts toward the beginning. Part 14 of the slow burn fic. Tav POV.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Screw it...have another chapter tonight. I was gonna save it but I'm excited to see how everyone likes it. I'd love to hear how you feel about the Tav backstory chapters! Thanks for all of the love and appreciation for my work so far <3

Tav snuck off from camp while everyone else still slept. Her meditation was restless, lasting only a couple of hours. Rather than stare at her tent’s yellow canvas walls, she found herself walking back to the little glowing pond that Halsin had shown her. Her mind kept wandering to Tev as they drew nearer to the path to Moonrise. What would he do in her position? How would he face the ghosts of their family? Would he have been truthful with the others from the start, even if it meant being cast aside?

Knowing Tev, he would have won them all over anyway.

She took a seat at the edge of the water and tossed a rock in. The lights danced in front of her, bringing a fleeting smile to her face. A voice slipped into the back of her head, that voice she tried to keep buried away.

What if he’s still alive?

The guilt had been gnawing at her for days and was likely the fuel for her recent string of dreams. Had their roles been reversed, Tev would have crossed the continent five times over to find a way to save her. He had proven that to her years ago. She pulled her legs close and rested her chin on her knees. The bittersweet memory from tonight’s trance replayed in her mind over and over.

The dread that had been gathering in Tav’ahria for weeks weighed heavy on her shoulders that night. Her mother fussed about her, making last-minute adjustments to the new dress she made for the party this evening. The pale pink gown was as soft as a spring breeze against her skin despite the many layers that comprised it. Each layer caught the light differently giving it an ethereal, opalescent look. The deep plunge in the neckline went halfway down to her navel, revealing more cleavage than normal. Golden clasps at the neck secured it onto her body with an engraved belt that matched them to accentuate her waist. The long train sparkled and flowed with an effortless elegance behind her when she walked, almost as if it was made of the wind itself. This had to be one of the finest gowns her mother had made to date. Tav’ahria despised how well it suited her.

“There we are. Stunning as ever, my dear.” Her mother re-pinned a runaway braid into her intricate updo before smoothing a few rebellious hairs into place. One large braid had been coiled up onto her head to resemble a flower of sorts. The rest of the hair surrounding it had been woven into small lines of braids to be laced into the larger part of the hairdo. Thin vines covered in little white flowers had been woven into the braids as well. Tav’ahria studied her reflection but said nothing in response.

Stunning as ever.

The words were a beautiful lie. Nothing about her was stunning anymore. Her skin had lost its plump, bright hue and bags hung off her dull eyes. It had taken hours for her mother to add enough makeup and face paint to her to make her look alive again. Not to mention the additional layers needed to hide the bruise on her cheek. She would shed a tear for herself if there were any left in her body. Instead, she stared into her own eyes in her reflection, wondering where the life in them had gone.

The woman staring back at her in the mirror was but a walking husk of Tav’ahria Mendelre.

Just a little wilted flower.

Today was the day her parents would announce her engagement to Noravi Sylvyre. Nearly two months had passed since the night they met, the night that Tev had finally broken free. She had heard nothing more about him, which meant he was safe from their family’s clutches. It was her lone solace among the dark thoughts that haunted her mind. Even now, her eyes flashed to the small scissors and blades her mother used in her tailoring.

Just a couple of well-placed slits across the wrists…you can be free of them forever…

A shiver ran through her body pulling her back from the brink. With every passing day, the temptation grew. Did she want to die? No. Was it better than being here? Possibly.

The Sylvyre family had purchased a residence in Baldur’s Gate so they would be able to come and go with ease between here and Neverwinter for their family’s business. They came by often and her family visited them as well. Noravi loved to be seen escorting her around in the city as their “relationship” was gaining attention.

I suppose it’ll be my family business soon as well.

“Let’s get moving, dear. It’ll be time to leave soon.” Her mother helped her stand and walked with her down the marbled stairs into their grand hall where her father was waiting. Her delicate shoes clicked across the floor, announcing her whereabouts to any and all who resided there.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“Omylia, you’ve outdone yourself, my darling.” Her father crooned toward her mother as she walked across the absurdly large room. He looked over Tav’ahria’s gown, taking in the newest look of his little flower. The small orchid brooch he had gifted to her so many weeks ago sat at the top of her dress. Her shoes had higher heels to them than she was used to, but she adjusted quickly.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

The rhythmic clicking of her shoes on the floor echoed off the walls of the vacant room. Although the room wasn’t truly empty, everything in their home seemed hollow since Tev left. Every step she took, every sound she made, seemed to bounce around the halls of their estate and taunt her. They reminded her that she was alone.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

At least the sounds gave her something to concentrate on, something to ground her. They helped snap her out of her own mind when the dark fantasies threatened to take over.

“You look perfect, Tav’ahria.” He held his arm out for her to take.

“Thank you, father.” She responded with a practiced smile.

He escorted her the remaining length of the room. She was seldom left alone nowadays since her father had branded her a flight risk.

Flight risk…and just where am I meant to fly off to, father? Little wilted flowers stay close to the ground.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

The carriage waited for them just outside the door. Her mother helped gather the long train of her gown, folding the soft fabric into a neat pile at her feet. The ride across the Upper City was barely ten minutes, but it was almost too long to be left alone with her thoughts. No distractions, just darkness.

Their driver brought them through the iron gates of the now familiar estate. The long cobblestone path curved around the spectacular gardens that made up the front of the property. Shrubs trimmed to perfection lined either side, not a leaf out of place. Nice and tidy, styled so no one could see the mess of bare branches just beneath the thin surface of the greenery.

Just like you, little wilted flower.

Her father left the carriage first, offering a hand to her as her mother gathered the rest of her gown to spread behind her. The carved stone steps ahead of her filled her with another bout of dread.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

Tav’ahria and her family glided up the stairs with the expected sophistication of elven nobility. After all, what good was their Eladrin blood if they couldn’t dazzle those around them with their graceful presence?

“Invitation.” The guard just outside the entrance held out a lazy hand.

She pushed aside the layers of her dress to remove the small golden plate strapped to her thigh. The thorned orchid stamped into the shining metal had been painted to draw attention to the purple leaves and bright red beads of blood dripping from them. Beneath the flower, her name was etched onto the identification plate.

Tav’ahria Aenwyn Viessa Mendelre.

She held the shiny trinket out to the guard who immediately straightened his posture.

“Ah, apologies Lady Mendelre. I should have recognized you. Please, enjoy the party.” He gestured behind him to allow her passage as she tucked the gold plate into the strap on her leg.

Before she could take another step, Noravi appeared by her side, offering his hand out for her.

“Hello, sweetness.” His grimy smile threatened to break her pleasant mask.

“Hello, my dear.” She forced the endearing words out of her mouth as Noravi leaned forward to give her a quick kiss. The touch caused her stomach to churn. Her hands itched at her side to push him away, but instead she simply took the hand offered to her.

Little wilted flowers don’t fight back.

“Come along little flower, I have so many guests who are dying to make your acquaintance.” She let him usher her past the doors, the pleasant smile etched onto her face to keep up appearances. Pretty. Quiet. Docile. Just the way he liked her.

Tav’ahria took her graceful steps through the corridors with practiced ease despite the new shoes already threatening to scrape a hole in her heel. She kept her arm loosely draped around Noravi’s elbow, showing just enough contact to be convincing, but keeping a loose enough grip so she didn’t make herself sick from the touch. A familiar accessory stood out by his wrist.

A gold cufflink with an engraved black hand.

She still couldn’t place where she knew the symbol from, the past couple of months she had been wallowing in grief and self-pity. Not exactly the right mindset for research.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

The grand hall that greeted them just beyond the entrance was even more ludicrous than the one in her own home. Marble floors and pillars helped Lord Sylvyre boast his expensive taste to all who came to visit. Plush black rugs lined the entryway, padding the floor and keeping too much dirt from staining the light tile beneath them. Tables spread throughout the room were filled with beautiful displays of food. Fruits, cheeses, bread, pastries, anything one could imagine was available for their tasting pleasure. Servers made their way through the room carrying trays of drinks – wine, liquor, juices – all preferences were covered. Additional tables were placed around the room to allow guests to stand and converse with their food and drink, covered with lavish black and gold cloths.

But Noravi wouldn’t want to spend his evening out here. No, he would want to find his friends and sit drinking in one of the more private rooms. At least until he was ready to show Tav’ahria off for more attention. When they entered the sitting room, a new member of the staff came up to greet her. A tall, young man with blue eyes and short black hair. He gave Tav’ahria a low bow.

“My lady.” He stood back up and smiled at her. “Is there anything I can get for you?”

“No, thank you.” She returned the smile with ease. “My apologies, I don’t think we’ve met before.”

“No, my lady, I just started yesterday.”

“And your name?” She always liked to know the names of people in her family’s employ, that grace now extended to those employed by the Sylvyres as well.

“Ugh, Tav’ahria, sweetness…must we waste time standing and talking here?” Noravi groaned as he started to pull her away.

“I’ll join you soon, Noravi. Please, go ahead without me.” She smiled, her sweet smile reserved only for Noravi, the one that kept him civil and unaware. The smile that she would taint with poison on her lips if given the opportunity.

“Very well, don’t be too long little flower. I have more introductions of you to make before the announcement.” He had already diverted his attention elsewhere.

“Of course, dear.”

He bent over and planted a kiss on her cheek before striding off. The gesture sent a familiar wave of disgust throughout her body.

“Terribly sorry about my fiancé. He’s not usually this…” She trailed off as she realized a member of their staff would know exactly how Noravi acted.

“Nothing to apologize for, Lady Mendelre. My name is Kadir.” He gave another small bow.

“Very nice to meet you, Kadir. Now that I think of it, would you mind fetching a bottle of rum? I know Noravi and his friends will want it once they’ve polished off the wine in here, so we should have about an hour.” She smiled at the young man, but a strange feeling came over her the longer she looked at him. There was something…familiar about him that she couldn’t quite place.

Kadir had the typical rounded ears of a human, a quick and pleasant smile, and the slightest crook in his nose. Beautiful black strands of hair shone in the candlelight, a striking contrast to the eyes as blue as the sky on a clear summer day. He stood tall enough that he needed to look down to meet her gaze, a rare trait in the human men she knew.

“Are you…sure we haven’t met before?” She studied his face closely, but for the life of her could not place him.

“Unfortunately not, my lady, but it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance now. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go find that bottle of rum before the wine runs dry.” Kadir turned to leave the room and Tav’ahria could have sworn part of his elbow passed right through her.

She shook off the thought. Her mind had been distracted and tired of late, no need to put stock into such tricks of the light.

The next hour or so was uneventful. Noravi took the time to introduce her to more sleazy, stuck-up nobles from other cities whose names she wouldn’t bother to remember after tonight. Guests all around her stopped to admire her dress, for once outshining the jeweled orchid pinned to her chest. Everyone would reach out to take her arm or feel her gown. Many wanted to touch and inspect the intricate braids piled on top of her head. She spent the majority of the night being handled by strangers and acquaintances alike until she felt the need to crawl out of her own skin. But that wasn’t an option. Noravi kept her close at his side, parading her around to be seen with him in front of his guests. She forced the smile to remain on her face and the tears to remain in her eyes.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

Finally, the time for the announcement drew near. Noravi took Tav’ahria’s arm to lead to the front of their grand hall where a stage of sorts had been prepared.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“It’s time to make this engagement official, little flower.” Noravi’s quiet sneer pierced her eardrums like a needle. She tried to drown out his voice by concentrating on the sound of her heeled shoes clicking across the floor. Her heart began to race as the taste of bile made its way up her throat.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“This time next year I’ll be introducing you as my wife.”

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“Or perhaps announcing our anticipation of a child.”

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“We’ll be the couple of the century, sweetness. Do try to look happy about it.” He gave an exaggerated eye roll.

When had she started crying?

“Don’t be silly, these are tears of joy.” The half-assed lie caused Noravi’s grip to tighten on her arm before he realized that bruise would be too hard to cover. At least if he wanted her to keep dressing like this.

You’ll pay for that later. Little wilted flowers shouldn’t use sarcasm on their fiancé.

Click…

They had arrived at the edge of the stage. No more steps to be taken, no more tapping of her heels against the hard marble floor. Nowhere left to hide.

“My lord, my lady.” Kadir approached them with a low bow before Noravi took the stage. “If we could have Lady Mendelre stand off to this side instead, it would be most appreciated.”

Noravi waved him off as he adjusted his suit buttons and cufflinks. He couldn’t be bothered with where she stood, so long as she made her appearance on stage.

“Lady Tav’ahria, if you would come with me.” Kadir held out an arm to her as she eyed him suspiciously. “Please?” His polite smile stayed stretched across his face until she accepted.

“I really don’t think I should go too far.” She spared a nervous glance over her shoulder as they walked further and further from the stage. Noravi hadn’t noticed her absence yet, but he would soon enough.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“There’s nothing to worry about my lady, everything is going exactly as planned.” He had a mischievous shine to his eyes.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

“You don’t understand. If I go too far, my father and fiancé won’t be happy. You’ll likely lose more than your job if you allow that.” Her head once again turned to keep a wary eye on them.

Little wilted flowers don’t run.

The faintest whisper blew past her ears from a familiar voice. One she hadn’t heard in weeks.

“Sav-estel ne-emir peth.”

Tav’ahria’s breath caught in her throat and her heart stopped for a moment. Have faith in my words…

“Did you say something?” She turned to ask Kadir. He kept his eyes facing forward as he continued leading her to the edge of the crowd. Once they stopped, she followed his eyes as they darted to a table decorated with a lavish flower arrangement.

Behind the table, she could just barely perceive a bow hidden there.

Her confusion must have been plain on her face. Who was this Kadir, and why was he trying to get a bow in her hands?

Lord Sylvyre’s booming voice startled her and forced her attention back to the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us on this very special evening.” A polite chorus of cheers and clinking glasses erupted in the hall.

Shit.

Terror took over, she went to run back towards the stage, desperate to make sure she wasn’t caught sneaking away. Kadir’s hand caught her by the arm.

“Please, I have to get back over there.” Panic was rising in her voice.

“Is that what you want, Tav’ahria?”

“It’s not about what I want.” Her hand instinctively reached up to caress the hidden bruise on her cheek.

Lord Sylvyre was still addressing the crowd. Noravi had started moving his way to his father’s side. His words were loud and echoed off the walls, but they were garbled gibberish in her ears. Her heart pounded against the confines of her chest, rattling her bones and causing her breath to catch.

“You will have but one chance. Sav-estel ne-emir peth.”

“What did you just say?” Tav’ahria knew it wasn’t her imagination this time.

She turned back and looked at the young man again, really looked at him. Tears gathered in her eyes as the illusion that made up Kadir ever so slightly started to fade. His blue eyes turned a familiar shade of pink. A huge smile spread across her face at the sight for the first time in two months.

“Best kick off those shoes, Ria. We’re going to have to run.” He winked as he began to uncurl a small scroll in his hands.

Tev.

“Lord Mendelre and I are proud to announce the union of our families.” She saw her father shaking his hand.

Tav’ahria slowly slipped out of the uncomfortable shoes, the cold floor a welcome relief to her sore feet.

“Grab the bow and get ready to run on my signal. This won’t last long, and I only have one.” Tev whispered behind her.

“Please, congratulate my son, Noravi Sylvyre,”

She glided over to the table and slipped her hand behind it to grab the bow and small quiver of arrows hiding there. Tev began a quiet incantation.

“…and Lord Mendelre’s daughter, Tav’ahria Mendelre,”

She slung the quiver over her shoulder, trying to remain discreet, and plotted a course for the front of the estate.

“Now.” Tev hissed as he finished the spell.

“…on their engagement.” Lord Sylvyre gestured to the side of the stage where she was supposed to be waiting.

Tav’ahria broke into a sprint for the exit. She didn’t dare allow herself even a glance behind her as her bare feet slapped against the smooth tile. Adrenaline flowed through every nerve, every blood vessel, every muscle in her body. The front of her gown was bunched up in one hand, the last thing she needed was to trip and fall on her face again. Plenty of shocked gasps and murmurs made their way over the crowd, but no one moved to intercept her. In fact, no one seemed to see her at all.

She looked down at her hands as she ran and noticed a slight shimmer to them.

Invisibility spell.

It took all of her self-control not to let out a relieved cackle.

Tev you brilliant, beautiful bastard.

They were almost at the doors as the invisibility effect started to fade. She could see the normal hue of her skin returning. As the spell withered, the hope within her bloomed. Freedom was within sight. She just had to keep running.

“TAV’AHRIA!” Her father’s familiar roar carried over the crowd. She didn’t look back, she just kept running.

Guards were making their way to intercept them. The illusion hiding Tev’s appearance had all but disappeared, his white curls were visible again and she could now see the longsword he had strapped to his back.

“Don’t look back, Ria.” Tev muttered as they came up on the first couple of guards.

“I won’t.” Tav’ahria growled as she drew her bow and shot the first guard in the leg, causing him to drop to one knee. Tev took out the next one by cracking the hilt of his sword over his head. They weren’t trying to kill everyone in sight, they just needed to escape. She just had to keep running.

More guards coming from behind them. They continued their dash into the gardens. One of their pursuers was able to get the train of Tav’ahria’s dress caught on his sword. But Tev was prepared this time. He sliced the fabric being held taut between the sword and her legs to cut her free without even breaking his stride. The delicate fabric broke away with a quiet ripping sound. She kept running.

The tile of the grand hall had given way to the cool stone in the courtyard. The rough landscaping scraped her feet, but she kept running.

Tev stayed close at her side, helping to push the guards away and watch her back for any attacks. Her father and Noravi had joined the chase as well, she heard his curses calling out behind her. Someone grabbed her arm – she didn’t know who. She took an arrow from the quiver and plunged the tip it into their wrist. Blood sprayed up her arm and all over her gown as they released their grasp, but she kept running.

Once again, the sensation beneath her feet changed, now shifting to the soft grass in the gardens. She stepped on a hidden rock. It sent a painful shock through her foot, but she kept running.

Her father screamed her name with a rage she had yet to hear in her life, but she kept running.

The iron gates were in view now, they were closed but they could easily climb over the walls on either side of them. She kept running.

Tev sheathed his sword as he ran up ahead of her and launched himself off the ground to grab the top of the wall. He scrambled to climb up to the top so he could lean back to help her over. She kept running.

Tav’ahria was almost to the wall. She looped her arm through the bow as she jumped to grab Tev’s hand. Her arm was still slick from the blood of whoever she stabbed earlier, and she slipped from his grasp.

“Shit…Ria! Jump again!” Tev yelled from above her.

Their father was getting closer, his angry cursing louder with every step.

Fuck it.

She turned around and faced him as she grabbed her bow, his usual calm and calculating demeanor now warped into a crazed and angry mess.

“Ria!” Tev yelled again, more frantic this time.

“Don’t you dare take one more step, Tav’ahria!” Her father’s voice was shrill and desperate.

Tav’ahria notched an arrow and took her aim. As she released her held breath, the breath that had crowded her lungs for years, the arrow soared from her bowstring to pierce her father’s left knee. He cried out in pain as his body tumbled forward through the grass. She took a few steps back from the wall and made another running jump. This time, Tev leaned down and grabbed both of her hands. Between him pulling her up the wall and her feet pushing against the rough stone, she found herself sitting on top with him.

Tev swung himself over the other edge, ready to help catch her at the bottom. Before she jumped, she took one last look at her father writhing in pain on the ground. A feeling of sick satisfaction coursing through her veins. With a quick rip, she tore the orchid brooch from her dress and threw it into the grass in front of her. She carefully lowered herself down the other side into Tev’s waiting arms.

Involuntary tears flowed freely from her eyes as he grabbed her hand and started pulling her through the streets of the Upper City. The wind rushing past her face as she ran dried them almost as quickly as they came. Her legs ached and her bare feet were already scraped raw. But seeing Tev again, knowing that he risked everything to come back and save her…it numbed the pain and propelled her forward. She followed him around corners and ducked through alleys. They spun around fellow citizens who didn’t move out of their way in time. She listened to the soft slapping of her feet against the stone beneath her, a welcome contrast to the clicking of those heels. They didn’t slow down, they didn’t look back.

They just kept running.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 13

Chapter 13: With Friends Like These

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,136

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: The guys and gals split up for the day. While the ladies take care of the duergar problem, the guys have some bonding time around the fire. And there may just be an exciting new addition to their camp. Part 13 of the slow burn fic. Halsin and Tav POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries.

A/N: Girls night vs. guys night. More campfire fluff before moving on to more Tav'ahria backstory in the next chapter!! I hope you're all feeling the burn like I am. Thanks for all the kind comments so far! They really do keep me motivated to continue writing <3

See also: Gale and Halsin are massive nerds

Tav and her companions had spent days exploring the Underdark. The winding pathways and lack of light made it difficult to navigate and map out.

Between the deadly arcane tower they explored and the Kua-Toa ritual they stumbled upon, not to mention those damned hooked creatures they kept running into, they were getting a little sick of the dangerous environment down here. A pleasant surprise was finding a peaceful mind flayer among the myconids, even if it did agitate the tadpole. It had taken all of them to hold Lae’zel back from killing Omeluum then and there.

But today, they had finally found and removed the duergar that had been terrorizing the myconid colony. Once Tav and the others snuffed out their ambush, they didn’t put up much of a fight.

“See? We just needed a good ol’ girl’s day out, no boys allowed. Isn’t this nice?” Karlach asked as she ripped her sword out of the chest of one of the bodies.

“I must admit, I was uncertain about this ‘girl’s night’, but this was enjoyable, yes.” Lae’zel rolled her shoulders, stretching her arms after the fight. “Is this a common bonding practice for women in Faerûn?”

“Something like this, yeah.” Tav chuckled as she plucked a few arrows from the corpses strewn about.

“Yes, but did the wolf have to come along?” Shadowheart was still wary of Lunari, even after all their time together.

“Lunari’s a girl too, of course she gets to come! Besides, what better way to get over your fears than to spend time with this sweet pup?” Karlach bent over to coo at the wolf, careful not to touch her though. Lunari’s entire body wiggled in response.

Tav continued going between bodies, looking for any useful materials. Near one of the dead duergar, she found a logbook.

The writing was faded and difficult to read, but she could make out the list of gems and valuable materials that had been mined from a nearby fortress. As she turned the pages, she found more lists. Not gems or valuables. The title of one of the pages read “Stock”, but contained descriptions of…people? 

Deep gnome, female, young, white hair, missing one eye. Serving duty.

Deep gnome, male, bald, timid. Mining duty.

Slaves…

She did a quick scan through the rest of the book, trying to find any detail about their mining operation. On one of the last pages, she saw a symbol that caused her blood to run cold.

A small black hand had been scribbled into the corner.

Tav’s throat felt like it would swell shut. Suddenly aware of how cold the area was around her, she shivered as she fought the tears stinging her eyes. Images of her father and Noravi flashed into her mind. 

A black hand on a gold cufflink.

“Hey, soldier…you alright?” Karlach came up to her side and Tav showed her the book.

“Slavers…” She could only manage one word.

“Gods above, there’s so many listed in here.” The disgust in Karlach’s voice rivaled Tav’s.

Tav pointed to the large boat bobbing in the water next to the dock.

“I’ll bet that’s the way to the ruins the gnome told us about. Probably where these assholes are holed up.”

“Ugh, I don’t know that I’d want to go for a sail across those waters.” Karlach grimaced as she looked over the uncannily still lake.

“Something tells me that’s where we’ll be heading next.” Tav said with a sigh. She saw that multiple bodies on the beach were adorned with the symbol of the Absolute. “Come on, let’s go tell the sovereign that we’ve cleared them out.”

This time they only made one wrong turn on the way back to the myconid colony – a personal best for their group – and luckily nothing dangerous came with that small detour.

The closer they drew to the myconid colony, the louder the eerie melody they used to communicate sang in their minds. Tav made her way to the top of the overlook where Sovereign Spaw resided.

The humming tune radiating from the myconid was a warm welcome, at least as far as she could tell. She conjured an image in her mind to share with it – the duergar lying dead at her feet.

“The duergar are slain; the rot has been purged.” She gave the sovereign a slight bow of her head.

The musical voice that graced her thoughts danced with a newfound hope.

“Freely you have given to us, freely you may take.” An image of parting vines glided into her mind’s eye.

“The guardian gate is open. Go and claim your reward.” It gestured behind her. “But before this, I have another boon to ask of you. You have cut out the blight, but not its source.”

Another vision played vividly in her mind. A drow dressed in Absolute garb, strolling among myconid corpses. Proud and unphased by the carnage surrounding him.

“Nere, this one is called. He hunted us – hunt him in turn. Bring me his head, and I will know my Circle is safe.” The melodic plea had taken on a more aggressive tone.

“Consider it done. I will bring you Nere’s head.” These slavers needed to be dealt with, one way or another.

“The drow lurks in the ruins beyond the lake. Bring him death, and return.” The words slowly faded into the melody floating through the colony.

Tav spun on her heels with a curt nod. She stopped to speak with the gnome she had helped a few days back.

“I wanted you to know that I’ve killed the duergar who were hunting you.” She knelt down next to Thulla.

“I’m almost sorry to hear it, I’d hoped to have the pleasure myself.” She scoffed, causing another wince of pain. Whatever poison had been used was still affecting her.

“Can you tell me who was in charge of the duergar that captured you?” She kept her voice low so the others wouldn’t hear her.

“Just those Absolute nut jobs. Can’t go five seconds without hearing that name over there.”

“Yes, but was there anyone else? Any mentions of slavers outside of the Absolute?” Tav was anxious and her tone reflected it.

“Sorry, no. They were awful tight lipped around us. Only thing I heard besides the Absolute was about sending word to some lord in Baldur’s Gate. They didn’t use a name though.” Thulla shrugged.

Fuck.

Tav took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to maintain her composure. She couldn’t tell the others why this slave ring had her so upset. She wasn’t ready for them to know who she really was.

“Thank you, Thulla. I promise you, we’ll get across the lake and save your friends.” Tav gave her a quick pat on the shoulder before rejoining her companions.

“That’s a big promise, Tav.” Shadowheart stood with her arms crossed.

“We have to go across the lake anyway. Are you telling me you’d rather leave her people enslaved?” Tav folded her arms across her chest to match Shadowheart’s stance.

“Sometimes difficult choices must be made. First and foremost, we need to find a way to Moonrise. I’m simply suggesting that we shouldn’t make promises we aren’t sure we can keep.”

“And based on the Absolute insignias I saw littered on that beach, we’ll be well on our way if we cross that lake.” Tav’s tone rose with her anger. “And believe me when I say I do not make that promise lightly.”

“I reckon we can do both, friends.” Karlach came to stand in between their feud. “Take out some more Absolute cultists which should free the gnomes, then we’ll explore the area to see if we can’t find a way to Moonrise Towers.” Though flames raged from Karlach’s skin, her words helped to cool the rising tempers between Tav and Shadowheart.

“Fine.” Shadowheart turned her nose up at Tav.

Bloody Sharrans.

They decided it would be best to come back to camp and rest before trying to make their way across the lake. No one knew what would be waiting for them, and they didn’t want to push their luck. Plus, they needed a chance to catch the guys up on what they found. For the short walk back to camp, Tav was consumed by the thought of the slavers. Terrified that their source would be revealed, and her past along with it.

***

Halsin, Astarion, Gale, and Wyll sat around the fire in awkward silence. When they were getting ready to leave this morning, Karlach insisted on having a “girls’ day out.” Tav had told him it would be a good way for him to bond with the other guys a bit more too.

Bond…you can bond with new friends, can’t you?

“So, Halsin…” Wyll started. “Is it…fun turning into a bear?”

“Um, yes. I mean, I enjoy it. There’s something comforting about walking through the forest among nature disguised as one of its inhabitants. It makes me feel more of a sense of belonging.”

“Not to mention you could rip a man’s throat out with your teeth, and what could be better than that?” Astarion was throwing his daggers into a small stump next to him repeatedly.

“Not my first choice, but yes, I suppose that is an option.” Halsin snorted as he rubbed Scratch’s belly.

“You know, I consider myself adept at most forms of magic, but druidic craft has always eluded me.” Gale looked up from his book. “How did you find yourself so proficient?”

Halsin hesitated. He wasn’t sure he was ready to explain Thaniel to them yet. Or the hours and hours he spent gathering favor with Silvanus himself.

“Well, after three hundred and fifty years, anyone can become a master of their craft. You’re already a talented wizard, Gale, imagine what you would accomplish if your lifespan increased by a few centuries.”

“That’s a good point. You elves do get an unfair advantage in that regard.”

“Trust me, darling. We pay for it in other ways.” Astarion grumbled from across the fire as he yanked a dagger from the wooden stump again.

That we do.

“Is it painful?” Wyll asked.

“Is what painful?”

“The transformation. I mean, you adopt a completely new anatomy every time you wild shape. Surely that must be at least a little uncomfortable.” Wyll’s eyes shone with curiosity.

“Well, the mechanics of wild shape vary greatly between druids. I wouldn’t want to bore you with the vast library of tiny details that make it up.” Halsin averted his gaze to the ground.

As much as he enjoyed sharing his knowledge of the ways of druids, he found not many actually wanted to listen to his expertise. They wanted grand stories of ferocious fights between beasts or demonstrations of their abilities. No one wanted to hear him ramble about the beauty of balance that could be found in nature. They couldn’t care less about how he described the difference between shifting to a bear compared to shifting into a raven. No one wanted to discuss the intricacies of utilizing magic by manipulating the Weave itself versus drawing on the power of nature around them. Even the druids of the grove would start to nod off when he began long winded speeches about their ways.

“It would be anything but! As I said, this is one area of magic that remains mostly a mystery to me. I’d much appreciate the chance to hear about it firsthand from someone of your skill.” Gale set aside the book he had been reading to give Halsin his full attention.

“That’s quite a broad subject. I don’t even know where to begin…” He fidgeted with his clothing as he racked his brain for something to share.

“Maybe just start by describing how it feels to you.” Wyll suggested. Even Astarion’s eyes flickered toward him for a moment, a quick look of interest betraying his indifferent aura.

“Well, let’s see…” Halsin took a deep breath and concentrated on the last time he had wild shaped into a bear. He closed his eyes as the familiar memory brought a small wave of comfort.

“It’s not painful, per se. There is a brief feeling of discomfort, like a limb stretched too far. It’s an itch that you can’t possibly keep yourself from scratching. And once it’s done, a fresh feeling of relief washes over you as you reveal the new form.

“But just before I look out of new eyes, familiar yet different, there’s a moment where I swear I can feel Silvanus himself standing next to me. It lasts only a fraction of a second, yet it gives me a blissful, but fleeting, feeling of safety. Of peace. There’s a balance and harmony I can only feel when I’m in wild shape. It provides me the opportunity to experience the world around me as nature intended.”

When he opened his teary eyes, Wyll and Gale were leaning forward with their arms resting on their knees. Gale’s eyes were alight with his eagerness for knowledge, Wyll had a wistful smile on his face. Astarion kept himself facing away from them, but he noticed that he had stopped throwing his daggers.

“And?” Gale prodded, his voice an enthusiastic whisper.

“And…whenever I return to this form, I feel a different connection to the Weave around me – as if Silvanus builds it anew with each transformation.”

“Fascinating!” Gale clapped his hands a couple of times. “Spending time in your animal forms actually strengthens your ability to call on the Weave?”

“In a way, yes. Of course, unlike you, I cannot manipulate it directly. That power flows through nature, through Silvanus.” Halsin found himself leaning forward as well to converse with them, his hands gesturing excitedly as he spoke. “But as I said, it’s different for all. Many druids I know only use wild shape when absolutely necessary. Instead, they rely solely on their meditations and work to strengthen their abilities in that manner.”

“Of course! Study habits are always bound to differ. Now, what about…”

He continued fielding questions and theories from Gale for hours. His insatiable desire for knowledge brought a smile to Halsin’s face, as eager to learn as he was to share. Every now and then Wyll would chime in with an inquiry or a joke. Astarion continued to project indifference, but the little twitches in his ears betrayed him as he listened to their conversation.

“Thank you, my friend. This has been most enlightening.” Gale made a few more scribbles into a notebook before turning back to beam at Halsin. “I wonder if I might make one last request?”

“Of course.”

“Would you mind casting a spell for me? Nothing complicated, I’d just like to see if I can feel the difference in the Weave around us as you do it.”

“I suppose I can manage that.” Halsin said with a laugh. “Let’s see here…” He cast a quick and familiar spell that caused a small glowing orb to appear in his hand. With a quick whoosh, the glow materialized into a small goodberry.

“Yes!” Gale let out a delighted yell. “I could feel the same pull on the threads around me as I do when I cast a conjuration spell. Yet when yours came to its fruition, I didn’t feel the familiar plucking of one those threads, more of a low hum that vibrated throughout many.”

“Glad to be of help.” He laughed as he popped the little berry into his mouth.

“Oh Gale, so easily entertained.” Astarion giggled. “Let me know when he conjures up a real feast, rather than one measly berry.”

“Considering your diet, Astarion, I do believe it could be against many magical codes of ethics to do so.” Gale continued scribbling in his notebook.

“Yes, why waste spells for that when you already have a feast right here with the three of us?” Halsin added with a chuckle.

“Hey now, don’t be offering my neck up for dinner.” Wyll laughed along with him.

“No?” Astarion had a slight pout on his lips as he turned to face Wyll. “Perhaps a wrist then?”

As the other three continued their regular banter around him, Halsin had a distant, familiar feeling creep over him. Camaraderie. Friendship. It had been so long since anyone listened to him ramble with such rapt attention. He didn’t realize how he had craved sharing his thoughts on the intricate balance of magic and nature. And to have someone who not only listened, but actively engaged in a discussion? He thought this would be the highlight of his day for sure.

Until of course footsteps pulled their attention away from their discussion of magic and vampiric diets.

Halsin once again found a grin coming across his face as Tav made her way back into the camp, the expression had become a reflex of late. When her tired eyes looked up to find his, he could have sworn they shined just a tad brighter. Not a moment later, a smile broke through her exhausted exterior. Each day he spent in her presence caused the pull in his chest to tug him a little closer to her. Their mornings were spent in one another’s company by the fire or by the glowing pond he had found. The comfort he felt spending time with her kept the darkness in his mind at bay.

It had been so long since anyone was comfortable enough to reach out to him as well. She would always be ready to give him a hug or lean her head on his shoulder, the friendly touches satisfying part of the hunger for companionship he had craved for years.

“Welcome back, my friend.” He stood up to greet her as she reached the fireside and placed one arm around her shoulders, letting his hand rest on the opposite arm from him.

“Thanks, love.” She returned the gesture with a welcoming arm around his waist.

Thanks, love.

It’s how she referred to all of her friends, but something about hearing the word “love” to describe him caused another skipped heartbeat.

“Why don’t any of us get hugs when we get back to camp?” Astarion crossed his arms with one hip cocked out to the side.

“My apologies, would you also like a hug, Astarion?” He removed his arm from Tav’s shoulder and held both out to their cheeky friend.

“Ugh, no. Just making sure you understood the favoritism at play, darling.” Astarion waved him off.

“That’s okay, I’ll take his instead.” Tav’s arm had already made its way back around his back, hugging herself to his side. It could have been his imagination, but he thought she hugged him just a little tighter today.

He chuckled in response, trying to hide the pure delight threatening to take over him. “So, how was your girl’s day?”

“Fucking spectacular!” Karlach bounded up to join the conversation. “We found the duergar, Lae’zel cut a guy in half, discovered an underground slave ring in need of busting, got a new job to kill a drow, Tav found a book about mating rituals, and a shiny icicle thing.”

“…Mating rituals?” Halsin smirked as Tav rolled her eyes.

“Here. The title says ‘Flumph Mating Rituals,’ but it seems…off somehow? I think it might be an illusion, but I can’t seem to dispel it.” She grabbed the dusty book out of her pack.

“Illusion, you say?” Gale popped out from behind Halsin causing him to jump.

“By all means.” He handed the book over to the eager wizard.

Gale made a tutting sound with his tongue as he investigated it. He ran his fingers along the spine and cover before opening it and taking a deep breath to inhale the smell of the book. After thumbing through a few pages, he briefly licked one of them. Tav’s face scrunched up into concerned disgust.

“Ah, yes. It appears to be a simple disguising charm. Just a quick little scatter of the magic here…” He swirled his fingers around the spine of the book and Halsin saw the blue, misty magic float away and dissipate into the air around them.

“Did…did you have to lick it?” Tav’s eyebrows were still furrowed as she took it back from him. She pinched the book between two fingers, letting it dangle in front of her.

Gale shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“Oh, by the way…” Tav turned to dig a small, shiny piece of twisted metal out of her bag. She juggled it between her hands before giving it to Gale. Even from where he was standing Halsin could feel the icy energy radiating from it. “Found this on another dead drow. Might be your missing piece.”

“Yes! This has to fit with the others we found. Oh, yes, most promising. I do believe I can piece these together to form a new staff. If anyone needs me, I’ll be fiddling with this in my tent.”

“Ew, Gale don’t announce that to everyone.” Karlach stuck her tongue out with a small shake of her head. Tav let out a loud cackle, almost dropping the book.

“What? That’s not…I…argh, I’m surrounded by children. As I said, I’ll be in my tent.” Gale grumbled as he stormed off to his tent with a huff.

“Best not to interrupt a wizard when he fiddles with his staff.” Halsin smirked. Before he could be embarrassed by his joke, Tav and Karlach burst into a fit of laughter. The sight brought another warm feeling to his chest.

“Where’s this funny bear been the whole time?” Karlach wiped stray tears from her eyes as she regained her composure.

“He’s always been funny, just too shy about it.” Tav nudged him in the arm as she started reading through the revealed pages.

She thinks I’m funny?

“Huh, another mention of the adamantine forge. This journal confirms that it was Sharran in design.” As she continued skimming, Halsin caught a few diagrams among the words.

“Isn’t that what that petrified drow was rambling about the first time we were down here?” Shadowheart had wandered closer to their conversation.

“Not just the location, this journal is detailing how to actually operate the forge.” Tav’s eyes flitted back and forth rapidly as she scanned the page. “It mentions a guardian as well.”

“I heard rumors long ago that adamantine was among the finest metal to craft weapons and armor.” Halsin held his hands out to request the book. “I am surprised to learn that a forge of this magnitude would reside in a Sharran fortress.”

“We should seek it out when we cross the lake. If this journal is to be believed, we could craft some rather useful equipment, no?”

Halsin bristled at Shadowheart’s suggestion. No matter how useful the armor, he couldn’t think of a scenario where he would be tempted to utilize Sharran technology. Or maybe he was simply disagreeing with her for disagreements sake.

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt. We’re not exactly in the position to turn down the help.” Tav’s words were polite, but her clenched jaw told a different story. He slammed the book closed with a little more force than necessary.

“Let’s gather everyone around. We have a lot to discuss from today.” Tav began pulling at the straps on her armor as she stalked off toward her tent. Halsin briefly considered offering to help with them but figured it would be best to avoid that temptation today.

Once everyone had changed into more comfortable attire, they gathered around the fire for their meal as Tav filled them in on their excursion of the day.

“So based on what we found on the duergar, and the request from Spaw, our next step is taking that boat across the lake.” Tav was fidgeting with the small wooden fork she had used for her dinner as she spoke. Halsin could just barely perceive a nervous edge to her voice. Whether it was nerves about the journey across the lake or something else, he could not say.

“It sounds like this could be the fortress I’ve been looking for, the one that will lead us to Moonrise.” Halsin couldn’t contain his eagerness. This was it; he was sure of it.

“Yes. Yes, I think you may be right.” Tav gave him a light smile.

Something’s wrong…

“There’s something else…” She trailed off for a moment. “The cultists there have gnome slaves that were captured nearby. We need to make sure they’re released as well.”

“It wouldn’t do to let them stay in such a state,” Wyll spoke up immediately. “Do you know where they’re being held?”

“Not yet. I have a feeling if we find the drow, we’ll find the slaves.” She started tugging at the end of her braid.

“Then I’m sure we can take the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, if you will,” Gale chimed in next. “If we remove the cultists, it should be easy enough to get the slaves out of there as well.”

He expected Tav to relax with Gale’s suggestion. Instead, her nostrils flared and her breathing quickened.

“Yes, it will be plenty easy to free the gnomes once we’ve killed every slaver in sight.” Tav’s bitter threat startled Halsin, the disdain dripping from her voice was a terrifying contrast to the woman he had gotten to know over the past week or so.

By the looks on everyone else’s faces, he wasn’t the only one in shock from her change in demeanor.

However, the brief lull in the conversation allowed a few timid hoots to be heard from the edge of camp. As the small beaked face peeked around the foliage, Halsin couldn’t help the eager gasp that escaped his lips. In his excitement, his hand shot over to grab Tav’s leg.

“Cub.” He could only manage to whisper the one word.

The poor thing limped along as it favored a bloodied paw.

As soon as her eyes caught the cub, her vengeful aura dropped. Tav crouched down low and took a couple of slow steps toward the owlbear, stopping to kneel on one knee a few feet away from it.

“Blood…hurts…” It kept its wary eyes darting between Tav and the others.

“Oh, you’re hurt? Let me see.” She stretched her hand out and waited for the cub to come to her.

“Look. Cut.” It…he…held his paw out for her to examine. From where he was standing, the small gash didn’t look too deep.

Halsin could hear the others stirring behind him, but he waved his hand behind his back to keep them in place.

We’re not scaring it off again.

“Hold still, I’ll clean it up and make it better.” Tav spoke in a soft tone as she took his paw in her hands, healing the wound with ease. Another wave of affection slammed into his chest watching her.

“There we go, good as new.” She let the paw drop to the ground as the cub took a few tentative steps to test his weight.

“Good. No hurt.” He gave a happy wiggle of his head.

“How did this happen?” She was inspecting the cub for any other injuries he may have suffered.

“Teeth. Claws. Bigger.” Halsin stifled a thrilled chuckle as the cub stood up on its hind legs in an attempted display of power.

Remarkable how he’s interacting with her.

“Why would you fight something bigger than you?” Tav’s tone had shifted to a loving scold.

“Strong. Fight! Win!” He bowed down into more of a crouch.

Trying to show her he’s able to fight.

“Well, maybe for now stick to fights with creatures more your own size. Or maybe even a tad smaller.” Tav stood up as the cub tilted his head side to side.

“Too big? Wait…Strong! Show you!” He started bouncing excitedly around her legs, playful nips aimed at her feet. Tav laughed as he ran around her in circles and his happy chirps filled the air around them.

“I love him. So. Much!” Karlach squealed from behind them. The cub didn’t seem phased by the sudden outburst this time as he was still rather concentrated on trying to unlace Tav’s shoes with his beak.

“You do realize these things grow, do you not? Teeth and talons first.” Gale called from his seat.

“Then maybe he’ll be a good guard for the camp.” Tav knelt back down to rub the cub’s ears.

“Ooh. More.” He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

“Well done. He seems to trust you.” Halsin came to sit next to Tav and their new feathered friend.

“He needs a name.” She scratched under the cub’s chin as he started to aim its nose up in the air, taking in the smells of the camp.

“How about…Sniff?”

“Sniff?” Tav whipped her head around with a smile.

“I mean look at his little beak go. Besides, I think Scratch and Sniff has a nice flow to it, don’t you?” Halsin felt a sudden stab of embarrassment at the suggestion. He wasn’t sure if he had earned the right to name a new addition to this group. But when he looked back up, Tav was still smiling at him.

“I do. Sniff it is.”

“Sniff? Sniff. Sniff. Sniff!” The cub jumped around as he chanted his new name, causing another laugh from Tav.

“Ugh we need to get this engine fixed. I am dying to pet this little guy.” Karlach looked to be in physical pain at keeping her hands tight at her side.

As he sat and considered his surroundings, the cub wandered over to sit in his lap. He had tracked him and the mother for weeks; at the time he was thankful to even get a glimpse of them. Now, he had the cub sitting here with him. Something that never would have happened were he still stuck with his Archdruid title, confined to the politics of the grove.

“Thank you, Tav,” Halsin whispered.

“Whatever for?” She plopped down on the ground next to him.

“For this.” He gestured broadly around their camp. “For allowing me to share in your company. For rescuing me from the goblins, for finally giving me an excuse to leave the confines of the grove.”

“It was hardly a difficult choice to make. I’m glad to have you here.” She reached over to pet Sniff’s ears again.

It was everything.

“And I’m happy to be here. Now, I believe you all will be needing your rest before your journey tomorrow.” He would have stood up with Tav, but his new feathered friend kept him pinned to the ground. She grabbed one of his shoulders to help herself off the ground, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Goodnight, Halsin.”

Was that the faintest brush of her fingers running across his neck as she walked away?

[its-jaytothemee]

Snippet Sunday

Have a snippet from a future chapter of the Halsin x Tav'ahria slow burn. Just went through all the Sharess' Caress stuff in my playthrough and got inspired <3

Word count: 535

“Close your eyes and listen.” Naoise’s soothing voice cooed at Tav. She gave her a suspicious look but complied.

A wave of energy came over the room, one that radiated from the nymph. The gentle warmth of her voice enveloped him, yet there was a comfortable coolness to it as well. The warmth of the sun balanced with the chill breeze of the night.

“The all-being. Here, there is no suffering. Here, you want for nothing. Here, you are anything.”

Halsin heard a small hitch in Tav’s breath.

He closed his eyes alongside her. To his surprise, he could feel Tav’s thoughts. Not in the way the others had described their shared connections with the tadpoles, but he could see them, nonetheless. His breath caught as he felt the touch of cool hands around her neck. The smell of a strong, spiced liquor swirled around her nose in a thick vapor as it puffed out from unfamiliar lips. He could feel hands running all along her body – teasing, grabbing, pulling – as she tried to subtly push them away. He saw the face of another elf, with hair a few shades darker than Halsin’s and a smile that made his skin crawl.

The sensation brought tears to his eyes. He could feel the chains of her past weighing her down. How they had scarred her and caused her pain to this day. All this time, she had been helping him to fight his own demons, his own shadows, and she had been hiding hers away. Concealing them in her mind with painstaking effort. Just as he was beginning to feel free, he realized she was still being pulled down into the abyss.

“You have one word. Tell me: what will you be?” The nymph’s voice was softer than a kitten’s purr.

“Free.” Tav’s Elvish whisper was barely audible even in the silent room.

“You are more than free – you are a songbird soaring high in the sky, the wind dancing through the feathered tips of your wings. You breathe only the freshest of air, the purest offering nature can bestow.” Naoise’s voice once again brought another wave of comfort.

He felt the hands grasping at Tav’s body start to slowly relinquish their grip. The strong smell of liquor began to fade, and the other elf’s face warped into a different shape. He felt the tears of relief start to run down her face.

“No longer do you feel the chafing of your shackles. No longer are you chained in your prison, yearning for the heat of the sun on your skin. You are safe and warm, you are unburdened.”

As the nymph finished speaking, the numerous hands grabbing at Tav’s skin disappeared. They were replaced by a set of strong arms drawing her in for a comforting embrace. The hot breath reeking of alcohol had changed to a more familiar scent, a mix of well-worn leather, pipe tobacco, and grass after a heavy rain.

And instead of the strange elf he had seen before, he saw his own face.

The sight shocked him and caused his eyes to snap open.

You are safe and warm, you are unburdened.

Naoise’s final words caused Tav to picture him.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 10

Chapter 10: The Last Petal Falls

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 5,410

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav struggles to fight off unpleasant memories of her time in Baldur's Gate. Particularly the night when she met the nobleman who would change her life forever. Part 10 of the slow burn fic. Tav POV.

Tags: Slow burn, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, light angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries.

A/N: This chapter is only from Tav's POV and gives even more information about her past. Thanks for continuing to read, and I hope you enjoy a little more Tav'ahria backstory!

Another restless night greeted Tav. Her trance brought forth memories that she would prefer stayed locked away forever.

Tav’ahria stood in her usual place between her parents, greeting each guest who came through the large stained-glass doors with polite smiles and curtsies. The stage was set, and the performance began, Tav’ahria and her father knew their lines by heart. Her extravagant black gown was a source of envy for the evening, almost as much as the ornate brooch she wore on her chest. Most of the guests had complimented her on the accessory. She played her part well, acting the grateful daughter of a doting father who showered her with fine gifts. Her father expertly filling his own role of feigned flattery and humility, letting everyone know he only allowed the best for his little flower. They played off each other with ease, bridging the gaps in conversations with fake pleasant banter.

The petal doesn’t fall far from the flower. A phrase her father was fond of using when she received compliments. She hated it. When a petal falls, it ultimately wilts away into nothing. It loses its ability to grow, to live.

Perhaps it’s more fitting than you’d like to admit.

“You do look beautiful tonight, my dear. You have always been my most perfect model.” Her mother leaned over to tell her in between arrivals. “I love how darker colors make your eyes stand out.” She smiled as she brushed some strands of hair from her face. Tav’ahria forced herself to return the smile.

“Thank you, mother. Perhaps you could make me another before the Upper City gala for the solstice.” Regardless of Tav’ahria’s feelings toward her, her mother was a talented tailor. Many of the elegant gowns she wore were her own design.

“Of course, sweet girl. We’ll get started tomorrow to give us plenty of time.” Her mother patted her arm as another small group of guests approached the doors.

Her father tensed at her side, standing up straighter and lifting his chin up in the air. When she looked over at him, there was a look on his face that she couldn’t place. Was he…nervous? Looking back at the guests approaching them, she could sense a proud and pretentious air about them.

They must be the Sylvyres.

She spared another quick glance at her father, who gave her a curt nod. Muscle memory took over for her as an inviting smile spread over her face.

The elf leading the group was tall and imposing. His very presence drew the warmth from her body. The brilliant, dark blue doublet he wore was perfectly tailored to his figure, the shade matched to flatter his bronze skin. The embroidery that ran up and down the length of his arms shone in the candlelight like tiny molten rivers of gold.

“Lord Aiduin Sylvyre.” Her father gave a low bow.

“Lord Mendelre.” Lord Sylvyre returned the gesture, but his bow was much shallower. Tav’ahria had to fight a laugh.

“May I present my daughter, Lady Tav’ahria Mendelre.” She stepped forward and held out her hand. Lord Sylvyre took it in his, giving her a small bow as well.

“A pleasure. To be greeted by the prize flower of House Mendelre is a great honor indeed.” He kissed her hand as she curtsied.

“You flatter me, my lord. The pleasure is all mine, I assure you.” She let out a flirtatious laugh, years of practice allowing the sound to come to her with ease.

At least this one seems less inclined to kiss father’s ass.

“Yes, we are quite honored to have you and your family in attendance. I hope tonight will prove beneficial to us all.” Her father stepped up to her side.

“My darling, perhaps we should let our guests settle for a moment before we start on the politics.” Her mother laughed from her other side, playing her part as the unsuspecting wife.

“Most kind of you, my lady.” Lord Sylvyre turned his attention to his family.

“Allow me to present my wife, Anari Sylvyre.” The beautiful elf next to him gave a small curtsy in response.

Tav’ahria waited patiently for her target to be introduced.

“And my son, Noravi Sylvyre.” Another tall and handsome elf stepped up beside him. His bronze skin matched that of his father.

She turned her attention to the son, her innocent smile still twisting her lips. Once again, she held out her hand and Noravi accepted it with the practiced grace of a nobleman.

“Lady Mendelre, it is such a pleasure to finally meet you.” He gave a deep bow before kissing her knuckles. The soft touch tickled her skin. When he looked up at her with his golden eyes, her heart fluttered. He was quite handsome with his long chestnut hair tumbling past his cheeks. As her hand rested in his, the cufflinks he wore caught her eye. They were gold plated with a blank hand engraved into them. An intimidating symbol, she just wished she could place where she knew it from.

“The feeling is quite mutual, Lord Sylvyre. Please, call me Tav’ahria.” She subtly pulled him toward her as he stood up.

“Perhaps you’d like to accompany me? I’d love to show you around the estate.”

“Count me as the luckiest man in attendance, then. And do call me Noravi.” Noravi offered his arm out to her. She giggled as she draped her arm over his, leading him further into the grand hall. Her father gave her a small approving smile as she walked away.

She led him through the various halls and sitting rooms open to the guests. They stopped at one of the many tables covered with food and drink, each grabbing a glass of wine. In the other corner of the room, she spotted Tev. He was leaning against the wall and keeping a close eye on her. No doubt he was making sure Noravi didn’t cross too many boundaries.

Boundaries. As if you’re allowed to have those anyway.

She gave him a small nod and smile, letting him know that she was fine. It was comforting to know he was still looking out for her despite their little tiff earlier.

“Is this your first time in Baldur’s Gate?” She tried to keep their conversation light.

“Hardly. My father does quite a bit of business here.”

“Such a shame this is the first time we’re meeting then. What made him finally decide to pay us a visit?”

He smiled at her with a condescending look that could only come from someone of his status.

 “Oh, that’s not something for a lovely lady such as yourself to worry about. I’m sure our fathers will share their intentions when the time is right.” He patted her arm as they continued their stroll.

Tav’ahria fought the urge to roll her eyes. She was no stranger to her curiosity being dismissed by men. Still, there was something more in Noravi’s tone that made her uneasy.

“Perhaps you’d like to dance then? It’s such a wonderful way to keep my mind from wandering too much.” She kept her polite mask rigid on her face.

A little heavy on the sarcasm, Ria.

“I’d be honored, Tav’ahria.” Noravi led her out onto the dance floor as another song started up.

He took one of her hands in a delicate grip, perfect for leading her through the familiar steps. The dance moves were second nature to her, she could perform them in her sleep. Years of practice had made her effortless proficiency the star of many dances. She found that it was much easier to keep a conversation going if she didn’t have to think so much about what her feet were doing. Noravi was watching her with a hungry look in his eyes. A predator tracking its prey. It was a look she had become quite familiar with over the years, but once again, something underneath those intense eyes made her skin crawl.

“You’re a lovely dancer. I can’t help but feel privileged being escorted around this ball by the Mendelre’s little flower.”

“Starting heavy on the flattery, are we?” She laughed as they spun around with their arms linked. “Careful, Noravi. These parties tend to go on well into the night. You’ll have none left for the rest of the evening.” Try to pull him back a bit.

“Oh sweetness, I haven’t yet begun to praise.”

“So familiar, we only just met.” A playful scold should do the trick here.

“You’d get to know me better?” He took her hand and twirled her under his arm.

“Well, I know so little about you and your family despite your status. You can’t blame a girl for being curious.” Tav’ahria was only partially lying. She knew very little about the Sylvyres but had no desire to become more acquainted with him. Unfortunately, that was her part to play tonight.

“Why wait until now? Surely a lady of your means has ways of obtaining sensitive information. You didn’t have to wait until I was here in the flesh.”

“I must admit my motivations are rather selfish.” A well-placed sweet lie here.

“As are mine.” His voice was low and greedy.

Too easy.

Noravi gave a small bow as the music started to fade. He kept one of her hands enveloped in his.

“I’m not used to knowing so little about my guests. And I prefer a more…intimate approach than sending out spies.” Tav’ahria stepped up close to him to run a feather light finger down his chest.

“So I’ve heard.” He let out a soft groan at her touch.

“How is it a beauty such as yourself remains unwed? From what I hear, you should have your pick of men and women alike.” Noravi’s eyes were ablaze with lust. She could see every twitch of his eyelids betraying his thoughts as he undressed her in his mind.

Gods he’s not even making this a challenge for me.

“Not very subtle, are you?” She teased.

“Subtlety is for bards and poets – I prefer to be direct. I can’t help but notice you didn’t answer my question.” His devilish smile set her teeth on edge.

“I suppose no one has been able to convince my father. He can’t just have his only daughter marrying just anyone.” His were making their way around her waist. She idly fiddled with the strings at the collar of his shirt.

“Then perhaps I shall have to plead my case personally.”

Good luck with that, lover boy.

“He can be quite stubborn. You’d better save some of these honeyed words for him.” She giggled as she tapped him on the nose.

“You’d prefer me to make my thoughts known in…other ways?” As he pulled her tighter in toward him, his hand started a slow descent down her side, landing on her upper thigh. Thankfully, another song started up allowing her to remove his hand and lead him into the next dance without causing a scene.

“As I said, we’ve only just met.” And a little tease here to keep him intrigued, and a nice, graceful spin to get his damned hand off of my leg.

“Yet from what I hear, that won’t be something that stops you, Tav’ahria.” His eyes looked up and down the length of her body as she danced away from him.

“You can’t believe every rumor you hear, love. I think you’ll find that I am quite the picture of noble integrity.”

Noravi chuckled as she made her way back into his arms.

“Yes, I’m sure your family’s success is built on integrity like yours. Lavish estates and parties such as this usually come about from moral business tactics.”

“And your family’s business? It must be lucrative indeed to afford such lavish praises as yours.” She twirled herself tight against his side and batted her eyelashes up at him.

Come on, loosen that tongue. I should have gotten more wine in him before dancing.

“Oh, how could I say no to those eyes? After all, we are trying to get to know one another are we not?” He leaned into her grip.

Gotcha.

“I must warn you, little flower, the truth is…less than savory.” He purred back at her, his hands started to wander lower down her back.

“I can handle harsh truths, Noravi.” She assured him as he spun her around with the music.

“Let’s just say my father has an uncanny aptitude for procuring…reluctant workers.” The smile taking over his face was devious.

Tav’ahria stopped mid step to look at him, unable to keep the mask from cracking. She had entertained the slimiest nobles of Baldur’s Gate and beyond, but never an honest to gods slaver.

“‘Reluctant workers’? You mean slaves.” She whispered back at him. They were the only two on the dance floor not moving, starting to draw the attention of other guests. “How is this possible in Faerûn?” Her disgust and shock were plain on her face.

“Oh Tav’ahria, don’t be naïve. Most of our stock doesn’t stay on the continent.” He said with a wave of his hand.

“Stock? They’re people, not crates of apples or silks!” She was trying to keep her voice down despite her rising temper and anxiety. Her eyes darted around the room searching for her father.

Don’t let him hear you, don’t let him see you right now.

“Come now, sweetness, let’s not discuss this now. Perhaps a short break for refreshment to help you calm down?” Noravi held his arm back out to her. She forced herself to take it again but couldn’t bring the pleasant mask back to her face.

Slavers…her father had invited slavers into their home. He had made his fair share of shady and sleazy deals, but nothing like this. To say nothing of its moral repugnance, how in the hells did he plan on keeping this quiet? From the corner of her eye, she noticed someone else approaching. Even though he wasn’t yet fully in her vision, Tev’s messy white curls were easy to recognize.

No Tev…please don’t. Not now…

She whipped her head around to catch his eyes. He had that look on his face, the one that let her know he was ready to put himself between her and Noravi. She shook her head, hoping he would understand. He paused for a moment but kept walking toward them.

Gods above, Tev can you just listen to me for once?

She continued following Noravi over towards the food and drink, keeping one eye on Tev.

“Here, I’m thinking we may be just a tad too sober for this type of party.” Noravi held a glass of wine out to her which she drank in one gulp. When she brought the glass down, she found Tev standing in front of her.

“Ah!” She yelped, startled by his sudden appearance. Tev just laughed at her.

“You okay, Ria? You seem a little tense.” He had his friendliest smile spread across his face.

“Anybody could be tense with you lurking around every shadow.” She punched him in the arm.

“Care to introduce me to your friend?” Tev asked. His face was the picture of innocence, but when his eyes darted to Noravi, she saw the slightest glare in them.

“Of course. Tev’aron, this is Noravi Sylvyre. His family is visiting from Neverwinter. Noravi, this is my older brother Tev’aron.” She squeezed Tev’s hand as she introduced them, silently pleading with him not to interfere.

“A pleasure.” Tev bowed curtly towards Noravi.

“I’m sure. I’ve heard precious little of you, Tev’aron. Then again, how could you compete with such a fine jewel as your sister?” Noravi’s fingers skimmed up and down her arm. Tev’s lips twitched into a snarl for just a moment before returning to his polite smile.

He’s ready to blow any second.

Tav’ahria gave Noravi’s arm a playful slap. “Oh, stop it, I told you you’ll need to save some of that flattery for later.” She giggled; Tev rolled his eyes.

“Well, far be it from me to interrupt such a lovely evening. Enjoy yourself, Ria.” His hand slid from her grasp as he walked toward the other side of the room.

“Thank you, Tev, I...” She tried to smile at him, but he had already turned his back on her.

“He’s quite the character.” Noravi mumbled through a mouthful of cheese. “It’s no surprise that your father doesn’t want him named his heir.”

Tav’ahria snapped her attention back to him. “What did you just say?”

“Hmm? Oh, you didn’t know?” He picked around the assortment of appetizers spread on the table in front of them.

“No, I was aware. How do you know that?”

“Tav’ahria, everyone knows. Your father isn’t exactly subtle about how he feels about his son.”

She stood there in shock. All this time, and she hadn’t realized her father had been telling others of his plans to disown Tev. Her brother was the most important person in the world to her, hearing others talk of him this way brought tears to her eyes.

“Don’t worry yourself about it too much, sweetness. With him out of the way everything will go to you. It means you’ve won, Tav’ahria, and by association, so have I.” He popped one of the small tarts into his mouth. She turned her attention back to Tev who was still striding across the grand hall.

“And believe me, you are quite the prize.” He ran the back of his fingers down her cheek, sending shivers down her spine. Not shivers of arousal, but the kind one would feel in an old, haunted crypt.

Without thinking, she reached up and batted his hand away. Her pleasant mask had all but crumbled.

“And you are too arrogant, Lord Sylvyre.” She took a step back as she spat the words in his face. “You make many assumptions for a man I’ve only just met, whose family is only visiting for the first time.”

“I’m confident the arrangement will be made.” He kept his pleasant smile on his face.

“I’d sooner marry a beholder.” She sneered. All pretense of courtly manners had left her.

He closed the gap between them again.

“This will go much easier for you if you don’t fight it. You could be my wife. My partner, in everything. We could have the entire Sword Coast under our thumb. We could create a dynasty in our family’s names.”

His hand shot up to grab her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. His grip was tight enough that she was worried it would bruise. “Or you can be my toy. My pretty little flower that I show off at parties. My little plaything for when I’m bored at home.” His hand moved down to the brooch on her chest. As he rolled the dangling rubies between his fingers, he slowly let them wander over more of her breast.

“I could keep you in the finest jewelry and silks. Or I could keep you in the finest chains. Truth be told it doesn’t matter either way to me. I’ll have your father’s backing regardless.”

Tav’ahria couldn’t take it anymore. She pushed him away, knocking him into a chair. He managed to maintain his balance and looked at her in disbelief. Small gasps rose up around them as the other guests caught wind of their fight.

“You dare raise a hand against me in my own home? You dare threaten me after you’ve been invited here as a guest, spitting on our hospitality?” She stood up a little straighter, trying to hide her trembling hands.

“Ha! I do enjoy a woman with a fiery side. It’s adorable how you think you have a say in this, my lady.” He was unphased by her loud display.

Tears stung her eyes. Could he be telling the truth? Could this be the arrangement her father was waiting for? Noravi strode back over to her, confident as ever despite her rejection. The entitled noble air about him protected him from scrutiny. After all, who would dare tell someone like him ‘no’? His hands made their way into her hair, fingers twirling around the strands close to the roots. He grabbed a handful and pulled her head back causing her to grunt at the tension on her scalp. She struggled against his grip, but he had her pressed against his body. He had a devilish smile on his lips as he leaned forward to kiss her, hard.

Tav’ahria pushed against him, but it was futile. She kept her lips pressed together, not giving him an opening to kiss her deeper. They had already caused enough of a commotion; she couldn’t risk anything further. Eventually, he released her, still smiling that unsettling smile.

“Hmm, we’ll have to work on that, sweetness.” He let go of her hair and she staggered backwards. “Now, perhaps we sh–”

Noravi was cut off by a solid punch to his jaw, knocking him to the floor. Tev stood over him with an angry snarl twisting his face. His shoulders were heaving as he glared at Noravi beneath him.

Tev…what have you done…

“TEV’ARON! TAV’AHRIA!” Their father’s voice boomed across the room from a private balcony above them. Next to him was Lord Sylvyre.

Well, fuck.

Tev jumped over next to her and grabbed her hand.

“Ria, we have to go. Now.” He didn’t wait for an answer as he dragged her toward the front of the hall. She ran after him, still catching her breath from her time with Noravi.

“Guards!” She heard Noravi growl behind them.

A moment later armed guards were pursuing them. They weren’t familiar to her, so they must have come with the Sylvyres. She and Tev easily spun around the party guests that hadn’t moved out of the way as they barreled forward through the crowd.

Gods if I only had a bow.

Tev slipped on a puddle of wine that had been spilled. He tried to get back up but seemed dazed from the fall. One of the guards caught up with him and grabbed his hands, pinning them behind his back.

“Tev!” Tav’ahria kicked off her shoes and turned to go back for him.

Barely sidestepping the guard holding Tev, she managed to swing herself around and wrap her arms around his neck. She grabbed her wrist to keep a tighter grip on him, forcing him to let Tev go and come after her chokehold instead. As soon as he was free, he spun around and swept the guard’s legs out from under him. He fell forward with a grunt as Tav’ahria released her hold. Two more guards were right behind them. She knocked a few chairs down behind her to try and slow their pursuit.

Tev scrambled to his feet, still making his way toward the door. She followed closely behind, but the trail of her gown was caught by the boot of one of the guards, causing her to fall on her face. The guard held her on the ground, the weight of him was too much for her to get a good angle for an attack as she struggled against him.

“Tav’ahria!” Tev yelled, turning to come back for her. But he staggered back again when he saw the other guards catching up.

“Tev, run!” She screamed. “You have to get out of here! Please!” The metallic tang of blood was covering her palette, replacing the taste of wine.

The guard tried to cover her mouth, but she bit down on one of his fingers causing him to yank it away again.

“For once listen to me and RUN!” She hoped more than anything he could hear the desperation in her voice as she continued to scream. Even if she had to stay here, she would at least be alive. If he stayed, father would have him killed. Or worse.

“Sav-estel ne-emir peth!” Tav cried one last desperate plea to him.

Tev’aron gave her one last look filled with horror and guilt, she could see the tears gathering in his eyes.

Sav-estel ne-emir peth. Have faith in my words. A phrase they had decided to use should they ever be in trouble and need to trust each other – no questions asked. It was the first time she had ever needed to use it.

She could see the conflict within him plain on his face, but he honored their agreement. With a small nod, he turned and continued running. The guard pinning her down stood up and ran to follow Tev. She could only manage to make it up to her hands and knees. Her tears fell to the floor, mixing with the small drops of blood dripping from her lips.

She watched as he made his way through the doors and into the night. The guards were yelling indistinctly, from what she could gather it sounded like he made it past the wall of the estate. She let out a relieved sigh as she hung her head.

It took her a moment for the realization to sink in. That was the last time Tav’ahria would see her brother. She looked up when a shadow came over her.

Her father stood there fuming. Noravi stood next to him, a small trickle of blood running down his chin. She felt her father’s rough hands around her arms.

“Come with me, Tav’ahria.” He hissed in her ear. She let him pull her to her feet, sparing one last glance at the door.

Goodbye, Tev.

Tav tossed and turned, her body thrashing at the memories that had been dragged to the front of her mind. Before she knew it, she was once again standing before her father.

Lord Mendelre was pacing in his study, a small glass in his hand no doubt filled with wyvern whiskey.

“It was a miracle that I could save this betrothal! You’re lucky the Sylvyre boy is so taken with you. It might just be enough to get us by.” Her father’s voice was colder than ice. The angry look in his eyes was unlike anything she had ever seen out of him before.

“Betrothal?!” She scoffed. “You throw me towards men for years and only make an arrangement once the worst of them comes along?! You would have us ally with slavers!” It had been years since she had dared to raise her voice against her father. There was little point in holding back now, how could he make things worse for her than they already were? He couldn’t even use Tev as leverage anymore.

“This arrangement was in place long before tonight, my daughter.” His tone was unfeeling and cold, unaffected by her outburst.

That explains why Noravi was so confident in our courtship.

Being here without Tev was a horrifying thought. Being here without Tev and married to that pompous, loathsome, turnip? It was unbearable. Her only consolation was knowing that he had made it out. She would know if they caught him, their father would have been sure to hold it over her.

“To think, I was ready to name you my heir.” He chided her as he downed the rest of the liquor in his glass.

“And what difference would that have made, father? Would I then have been free to choose my own path in life? Or would you have still honored this ‘arrangement’? Would you not still force me into the arms of someone who refers to me as a toy?” Her blood was boiling, every ounce of anger from the last few years rushing to the surface as she waved her hands in front of her. Once again, he kept his expression and voice from changing in response to her rage.

“Oh, don’t act so surprised Tav’ahria. You’re a lady of a noble house. This is your purpose, my dear.” He waved a dismissive hand as he went for another drink. As he poured, one of his cufflinks caught her eye in the dim light. He was now wearing one that matched Noravi’s, a gold accessory with a black hand engraved into it.

Where have I seen that mark before?

“And that means I’m not allowed to defend myself when someone threatens me? What would you have me do, father?”

“I would have you do as you’re told!” He bellowed. The sudden change in volume caused her to recoil, but she quickly regained her resolve.

She stomped up to him and slapped his drink out of his hand, covering him in whiskey and shattering the glass against the wall.

“That was a vintage. It’s almost as old as you are, little flower.” He said flatly as he wiped the drink from his face.

Tav’ahria looked to her mother. Hoping and praying that she would speak on her behalf just this once. Instead, she turned her eyes down toward the ground, not meeting her pleading gaze.

Her father sighed. “Take it as a compliment, Tav’ahria. You’ve cultivated an image for yourself that is so desirable it could help us start an empire in our name.”

“No, in your name.” She hissed back, tasting salty tears dripping past her lips. When had she started crying? He ignored her and carried on with his speech.

“The engagement will be officially announced next month, giving this little incident time to blow over.”

“And if I decide to create another little incident?” The threat slipped from her mouth before she could think better of it.

“I would think long and hard about that decision, Tav’ahria.” Her father moved across the room to loom over her. “You do not want to test me. This plan has been in motion for years, and it will continue on for many years to come. I won’t have my ungrateful children ruining it.” He grabbed her arm with an iron grip and pulled her close. The fumes from the alcohol seeping into his clothes burned her eyes and nostrils.

“Should you try and run, I’ll hunt you down. Once you’re returned to me, I’ll have the thorned orchid carved into your skin so everyone will always know who you belong to. I’ll have you chained in your bedchamber until the wedding if I must. Then I’ll hunt down that degenerate brother of yours. I’ll make you watch as he’s flogged over and over again, I’ll drag you both to Menzoberranzan so you can see him sold off to the highest bidding matriarchs of the city.” His fingers dug further into her arm.

“Your threats are getting predictable, father. You know as well as I do that the matriarchs of that city would eat you alive, not even leaving a shred to feed their spiders.” She spat back at him.

“Then perhaps Lord Sylvyre would have a fitting place for him. Are you willing to risk Tev’aron’s life and freedom just to prove a point, my dear?”

She held his stare even as the tears streamed from her eyes. She didn’t need to give him her reply, he already knew it.

“How do I know you won’t just hunt him down anyway?”

“Because I don’t need Tev’aron. Your marriage to Noravi Sylvyre will secure the resources I need as well as powerful allies for years to come.”

“And I get no say in this matter? I have no voice?” They were pointless questions, her answer had been given to her long ago.

“Your purpose was always to be seen, not heard, little flower. It is time you accepted that.” He dropped her arm and strode from the room without another word, her mother following close behind.

She stood alone in the center of his study, shivers ran down her body even though her blood ran hotter than Phlegethos. The spot where he had held her arm was already starting to bruise, yet she felt numb to the pain. Tav’ahria remained in place until the lights of the candles had burned out, bathing her in darkness. Twisting, unnatural shadows seemed to swirl around her in every direction. They taunted her, pulled at the trail of her gown, beckoning her to join them in their eternal night. Her father’s last words were haunting echoes in her mind.

Your purpose was always to be seen, not heard.

And now it would seem that would remain her purpose for the rest of her days. She fell to her knees and gave into the shadows, letting them drag her down into the abyss.