#hallett hall
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high-fructose-lesbianism · 7 months ago
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callmemana · 2 years ago
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Arms May Be Wide Open, But The Brain Cells Aren’t There: #26
Birdie: Bam, will you go out with me?
Bob: sodium.
Birdie: what do you mean ‘NA’? I thought you’d say Potassium!
Bob: 
you learnt chemistry jokes?
Birdie: and I learnt pick up lines! You’re Copper plus Tellurium!
Bob: Cu
plus
Te
Birdie: ;)
Bob: I take back my Sodium. Potassium, Bird, Potassium!
[somewhere in the distance]
Mr. Floyd: 
what have I raised?
Mrs. Floyd: whatever you’ve raised, he’s a monster and an idiot.
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Enemy: die, aviator!
Birdie: hold on let me ask my mom.
Enemy: no wait-
Birdie: Whiskey said no.
Enemy: that’s not how this works-
Birdie: I can ask Slider!
Enemy: NO
Birdie: he said no and he’s on his way!
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Slider: what a long day. I need a drink. Something to take the edge off.
Lucky: *a Gen-Z kid w/ dark humor* bleach.
Slider:
Slider: Luck, do we need to talk?
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Slider: *calls Mouse & Birdie daughter once in public*
Media: Raven Fischer & Amanda Hallett or Raven Kerner & Amanda Kerner?
Media: RON KERNER’S ILLEGITIMATE DAUGHTERS?
Ice: Slider, you need to do a press conference to sort this out. Just tell them that their not your daughters.
Slider: *at the press conference* hello yes these are my daughters Raven Fischer-Kerner & Amanda Hallett-Kerner, the heirs to my and my wife, Whiskey’s legacy, fortune, and my house.
Ice: why do I even try?
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Ice: alright, so this mission-
Birdie: Mr. Iceman sir I need to use the restroom.
Slider: *rolling his eyes* bird, you can just go.
Birdie: is- is there a bathroom pass?
Slider: a what?? No, bird, the bathroom is right down the hall-
Ice: what’s a bathroom pass?
Birdie: it’s like a random object you bring so everyone knows you’re allowed to be out and about.
Mav: *perking up* a random object you say? *holds up a wrench* will this work?
Birdie: I mean? I guess? *grabs and leaves* thanks Mav!
Whiskey: *who happened to be walking down the hallway and sees bird holding the wrench* wAIT!
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[describing a bad pilot’s attitude]
Lucky: loner, invisible, outcast, boiling rage- *phone rings*
Lucky: *keeps getting called all day* son of a bitch! Hi this is Lieutenant Baylie Garcia. I actually can come to the phone right now, with a very special message that your mother-
Mouse: *stern mother voice* Lucky-
Lucky: I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.
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Slider: Mouse, what did I tell you about lying?
Mouse: to do it more often.
Slider: exactly! I’m so proud of you!
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Bob: I think all you need is a hug *hugs bird*
Birdie: what is this?
Bob: a hug.
Birdie: disgusting.
Birdie:
Birdie: do it again, i ask of you!
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Mouse: *captured and strapped to a metal table* do you know the muffin man?
Omaha: *also captured* babe I swear-
Capturer: the muffin man?? What the-
Mouse: YES! THE MUFFIN MAN!
Capturer: the
 one who lives on drury- wait is this a Shrek reference?
Mouse: FINALLY! You owe me five bucks Omaha. I told you a bad guy would get it one day!
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Birdie: I just electrocuted myself.
Cinco: how shocking.
Mouse: how do you feel currently?
Birdie: I feel kinda amped.
Lucky: watt I can’t hear you?
Birdie: I said it hertz a lot
Spicy: are they okay?
Whiskey: this is normal, they’re fine.
Dragon: but she was jus-
Bob: she’s fine. I’d be more concerned if she wasn’t making puns.
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Dragon’s AngelsđŸ“»: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @starlit-epiphany @gracespicybradshaw @breadsquash
đŸ·ïž list: @luckyladycreator2
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agrippinaes · 11 months ago
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books I read in 2023
I read 240 books in 2023, which is lower than my total books read than the past few years. But it'd be ridiculous to be bothered by it because, hey, I still read 240 books!
I set myself a goal of trying to read more out of my comfort zone this year. I wanted to read 30 non-romance books, 25 physical books, and 10 non-fiction books. By the end of the year, I'd read a total of 54 non-romance books, 62 physical books, and 27 non-fiction books. I'm hoping to continue in this vein in 2024.
Other stats - for fun -
My most-read author was Cassie Mint
I gave out 32 5* ratings
My most-read genre was (of course) romance, 120 of which were contemporary
I owned most of the books I read
I read the most books in June, with 34 books read, followed by August, with 25 books read
My most read trope was forced proximity, followed by hate-to-love
So, below is a list of the books I read this year. Rereads are italicised, favourite reads are in bold.
Recollection by Noelle Adams
When in Rome by Sarah Adams
Spring Breeze by Lily Alexander
Fornever Yours by Natasha Anders
Don't Pretend I'm Yours by Natasha Anders
In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes by Stephanie Archer
The Long Game by Elena Armas
The Witchwood Knot by Olivia Atwater
Finding Love in Apartment 2C by Samantha Baca
Asking for Trouble by Tessa Bailey
Unfortunately Yours by Tessa Bailey
Same Time Next Year by Tessa Bailey
Kept by Maya Banks
Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo
Chick Magnet by Emma Barry
The (Ex) Spy Who (Maybe) Loved Me by Christi Barth
Wet and Reckless by Samanthe Beck
Witches Copse by Math Bird
The Stolen Heir by Holly Black
Every Wish Way by Shannon Bright
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte
Desire or Defense by Leah Brunner
Enchanted to Meet You by Meg Cabot
Ms Perfectly Fine by Kate Callaghan
Shucked by Kate Canterbary
1 Last Shot by Nikki Castle
Eyes on Me by Sarah Cate
Highest Bidder by Sarah Cate
Why Didn't They Ask Evans? by Agatha Christie
Go Hex Yourself by Jessica Clare
Beauty and the Billionaire by Jessica Clare
Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn
Pining for My Friend's Dad by Daniella Cole
Unsteady by Peyton Corinne
Her Greatest Mistake by Hannah Cowan
Shadows of You by Catherine Cowles
Night Shift by Annie Crown
Her Majesty's Royal Coven by Juno Dawson
Bending the Rules by Mariah Dietz
Moist Actually by Ash Dylan
Everything's Better with Lisa by Lucy Eden
The Fall of Bradley Reed by Morgan Elizabeth
The Protector by Morgan Elizabeth
A Matter of Scandal by Suzanne Enoch
Reforming a Rake by Suzanne Enoch
Pretty Little Thing by L.K. Farlow
Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett
The Nanny by Lana Ferguson
Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli
Mafia Virgin by Mila Finelli
No Limits by Lori Foster
Holding Strong by Lori Foster
Tough Love by Lori Foster
Fighting Dirty by Lori Foster
True Spies by Shana Galen
The Pumpkin Spice Cafe by Laurie Gilmore
A Cup of Zodiac by Alexis Gorgun
Wildfire by Hannah Grace
Trust Me by Rachel Grant
Control Freak by Brianna Hale
Dom Fitness by Brianna Hale
Gym Bunny by Brianna Hale
Princess Brat by Brianna Hale
The Twyford Code by Janice Hallett
The Christmas Appeal by Janice Hallett
Runaway Love by Melanie Harlow
Witches Get Stuff Done by Molly Harper
Rent to Be by Sonia Hartl
Temptation by Jenna Hartley
An Optimist's Guide to Heartbreak by Jennifer Hartmann
A Pessimist's Guide to Love by Jennifer Hartmann
A Witch's Guide to Fake Dating a Demon by Sarah Hawley
Billion Dollar Enemy by Olivia Hayle
When a Duke Loves a Woman by Lorraine Heath
One Touch by Lena Hendrix
The League of Gentlewomen Witches by India Holton
Godmersham Park by Gill Hornby
Twisted Love by Ana Huang
King of Greed by Ana Huang
Babymoon or Bust by Ava Hunter
Pucked by Helena Hunting
Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting
Five Survive by Holly Jackson
We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
Not That Duke by Eloisa James
Seven Minutes in Heaven by Eloisa James
String Me Along by Lilian T. James
The Intern by Sophia Karlson
Offside by Avery Keelan
Shutout by Avery Keelan
Against the Clock by Brittany Kelley
Against the Odds by Brittany Kelley
Willow and the Wolf by Elizabeth Kelly
Ava and the Bear by Elizabeth Kelly
Hold by Claire Kent
Nameless by Claire Kent
Nettle and Bone by T. Kingfisher
What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher
Hot Single Dad by Claire Kingsley
Love in the Afternoon by Lisa Kleypas
A Wallflower Christmas by Lisa Kleypas
Jingle Bell Beard by Julie Kriss
Forever Your Rogue by Erin Langston
Grimstone by Sophie Lark
The Billionaire's Bride of Convenience by Miranda Lee
Only a Monster by Vanessa Len
A Rake's Guide to Seduction by Caroline Linden
Good Girl Fail by Roni Loren
Hate You by Tracy Lorraine
Fighting Mr. Knight by Rosa Lucas
Fifth Avenue Fling by Rosa Lucas
Crash by Tamara Lush
Drive by Tamara Lush
Consider Me by Becka Mack
Bombshell by Sarah MacLean
Wife Project by Chloe Maine
To Hate Adam Connor by Ella Maise
Recipe for Love by Anne Malcom
Method for Matrimony by Anne Malcom
New Hope, Old Grudges by Anne Malcom
A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske
Her Best Worst Mistake by Sarah Mayberry
Dahlia Made a List by Jenna McCall
Breathless by Amy McCulloch
This Charming Man by C.K. McDonnell
Love Will Tear Us Apart by C.K. McDonnell
Sticks and Stone by Grace McGinty
Trail of Deception by Amanda McKinney
A Missing Connection by Dani McLean
Four Weddings and a Duke by Michelle McLean
Crash by Ruby McNally
An Extravagant Duplicity by Lynn Messina
Thief by Cassie Mint
Hacker by Cassie Mint
Honey Trap by Cassie Mint
Beauty and the Kingpin by Cassie Mint
Ocean Jewel by Cassie Mint
Big Boss by Cassie Mint
Grump Gone Wild by Cassie Mint
Ride or Die by Cassie Mint
Thin Ice by Cassie Mint
Husband Skills by Cassie Mint
The Stranger by Cassie Mint
She Was Made for Me by Jen Morris
A Holly Jolly Ever After by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone
Playing by the Rules by Monica Murphy
The Brazen by Willa Nash
How to Lose at Love by Sarah Ney
Pleasing Mr. Parker by Elle Nicoll
Convergence of Desire by Felicity Niven
Duke the Halls by Felicity Niven
The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by Elizabeth O'Roark
The Devil You Know by Elizabeth O'Roark
The Devil Gets His Due by Elizabeth O'Roark
The Summer I Saved You by Elizabeth O'Roark
All Downhill With You by Julie Olivia
The Love Wager by Lynn Painter
A Deal With the Bossy Devil by Kyra Parsi
The Barista's Guide to Perfect Steam by Valerie Pepper
Timid by Devney Perry
Call Me Irresistible by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Lady Len and the Mysterious Mac by Rose Prendeville
The River Knows by Amanda Quick
Dangerous by Amanda Quick
Reckless by Amanda Quick
Otherwise Engaged by Amanda Quick
She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen
The Fantasy League by Meg Reading
Accidentally Compromising the Duke by Stacy Reid
An Earl to Remember by Stacy Reid
First Down by Grace Reilly
Breakaway by Grace Reilly
Alive at Night by Amelie Rhys
Playing the Part by Macy T. Riosa
Contractual Obligations by Elle Rivers
This Spells Love by Kate Robb
Rough by Renee Rose and Vanessa Vale
Wild by Renee Rose and Vanessa Vale
Done and Dusted by Lyla Sage
Hunting for a Highlander by Lynsay Sands
Things We Hide From the Light by Lucy Score
Things We Left Behind by Lucy Score
The Gangster's Prize by Joanna Shupe
Flawless by Elsie Silver
Heartless by Elsie Silver
Sinners Condemned by Somme Sketcher
Sinners Consumed by Somme Sketcher
Take My Daddy, I'll Take Yours by Jenika Snow
First Meet Foul by Jaqueline Snowe
Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson
Dracula by Bram Stoker
The Cottage by Lisa Stone
Love in the Time of Serial Killers by Alicia Thompson
Women Talking by Miriam Toews
Mile High by Liz Tomforde
Man Candy by Vanessa Vale
Man Cave by Vanessa Vale
Man Splain by Vanessa Vale
Man Handle by Vanessa Vale
South by Vanessa Vale
Wall St. Jerk by Megan Wade
The Pawn by Skye Warren
The Knight by Skye Warren
His Curvy Rejected Mate by Cate C. Wells
Secret Santa by Kati Wilde
To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis
The Boyfriend Candidate by Ashley Winstead
Dear Grumpy Boss by Julia Wolf
Sincerely, Your Inconvenient Wife by Julia Wolf
Shiver by Suzanne Wright
Tempt Me by Tara Wyatt
Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
A Little Too Close by Rebecca Yarros
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lesflicksvod · 4 years ago
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Have you seen SUBMERGE (2013)? Watch it on Lesflicks here! Synopsis: Jordan (Lily Hall), a 20 year old athletic university student has added yet another extracurricular activity to her over-scheduled life; seducing her tutor, Angie (Christina Hallett).
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navajolovesdestiel · 4 years ago
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Written for a prompt given to me by katelyndeveraux, to help with my writer's block. Not betaed, all mistakes are mine. The art was commissioned by me, it is the work of Jade Hallett. Please don't take it.
Rated E
Excerpt: 
Dean dropped his keys in the bowl, toed off his shoes and sat his briefcase down. He looked around the uncharacteristically dark house.
As he walked through the living room, he called out. “Cas? Where are you, sweetheart? Is everything okay?”
The unmistakable scent of his omega, distressed and in the beginning of a heat, hit him like a ton of bricks as he got to the hall. He walked into the dark bedroom. Cas was on the bed, crying.
Dean sat on the bed, gathering his mate in his arms.“Baby, why didn’t you call me and tell me you were going into heat?”
Cas looked up at his, his blue eyes filled with tears.“I’m sorry, Dean. It just hit me harder than usual. We’ve been mated for five years. When we bought this house, we thought it would be filled with pups by now. The empty bedrooms, my heat
 again. I just feel like such a failure.”
Dean pulled him into a tight hug, them kissed his mate tenderly.“Cas, you are not a failure! We’ve talked about this. Pups just aren’t in the cards for us. But it doesn’t matter. As long as I have you, my life is perfect.”
Cas sniffed and wiped his eyes. “I know, I know, but still
 I wish I could give you a pup.”
Read the rest on AO3
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ennuijpg · 5 years ago
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but of course, you know that already
summary: "Oh! Such devotion. You really don’t deserve it. But of course—you know that already!" -Helen, MAG164 The Sick Village 
(alternatively, Jon and Martin explore an abandoned lab, and Jon gets bullied in the process)
word count: ~3.6k
genre: angst, established relationship
a/n: MAG164 giving me enough inspiration to dip my toe into TMA fic waters? It’s apparently more likely than I thought. This was mostly spurred by my refusal to stop thinking about this post since last week. And many thanks to my lovely beta readers Lizzie (@babyyodablackwood) and Jessica!
read on ao3
Martin pulled his jacket tighter around him as he shivered; the wind seemed to grow sharper and colder the nearer to London, or what used to be London, they got. “What do you think that is?” he asked, indicating, with a tilt of his head, a sprawling complex of utilitarian buildings in the distance.
“The Bartlett Centre for Cognitive and Brain Sciences Research,” Jon answered without hesitation.
“Oh uh,” Martin faltered for a second, “Did you just know that or did you Know that?”
“Hm, Knew, I think; no reason for me to have known that otherwise.”
“Oh okay.” He paused, thought for a moment, “And how’re you feeling toda—oh well not ‘today,’ there is no ‘today,’ but you know what I mean.”
“I don’t know,” Jon dragged a hand slowly down his face as he stopped walking.
“Do you want to take a break?” Martin asked, concern bleeding through his words.
“Do you? Are you tired?”
“No.”
“Then let’s keep going,” Jon started heading in the direction of the research buildings.
“Towards that?” Martin gestured at the complex. “What about the Panopticon?”
“We have to go there first, there’s something there, I can feel it.”
“Mmh, okay, if you say so.” He was skeptical but wasn’t about to argue the point given Jon’s semi-omniscience.
They trudged along in comfortable silence, falling in step save for when Martin nearly squashed a large spider in his path and jumped back to avoid doing so. The wind continued to grow, biting at their faces and stinging their eyes. Combined with the dull grey the sky had turned, the whole scene began to remind Martin just a little too much of the Lonely. Jon sensed him tensing next to him and grabbed Martin’s hand, lacing their fingers together and running his thumb over Martin’s. Martin relaxed a little and directed a soft smile in Jon’s direction, a silent thank you.
The complex in the distance grew larger and larger as they approached it, until they were right in front of it. The journey seemed far shorter than it should have been, and the fact of it evidently set Jon on edge. Martin felt his nails digging into the back of his hand, saw his eyes flitting about. The main building was rectangular, about twenty storeys tall, cast in a grey concrete weathered and darkened by age. It was flanked by several shorter, wider buildings that were connected in a circle with a courtyard in the center. The whole complex was in the Brutalist style Martin had always hated so much. Its jutting angles against the grey of the sky were just all a bit too on the nose for the apocalypse.
They walked toward the main building as Martin began to protest, “I don’t know Jon,” he said, slowing his step but not stopping, “Do we have to go in? We don’t even know this is the right way, couldn’t we just go around—” his words were cut short as they stepped over the threshold of the complex and every building outside of the complex itself seemed to suddenly disappear.
“It seems we have no choice,” Jon answered dryly, “And I still think there’s something here.”
Martin hummed in neither agreement nor disagreement but followed Jon into the building regardless. They were met with a lobby that looked most unwelcoming to visitors; no reception desk was to be found anywhere, and the only wayfinder available was a sign next to the lifts that had a list of names and a room number next to each, with no indication of what the rooms were or who the names belonged to. At the center of the room was a staircase going down, surrounded on three sides by a waist-high frosted glass wall. Neither the lifts nor the staircase looked to be favorable options, but Jon mused aloud that the basement could just be storage rooms, and he’d rather not waste his time with them if not necessary. So, he grasped Martin’s hand and pulled gently, indicating they should head for the lifts. 
It dinged before Jon’s finger even touched the up button, let alone pushed it, and the sound echoed hollowly through the empty lobby.
“Well that’s not ominous at all,” Martin chuckled mirthlessly.
They stepped inside and Jon pressed the button for the second floor, this time the lift letting him do so without intervening. It creaked and groaned, evidence of age betraying its shiny metal facade. From what they could see as they stepped out, the second floor consisted of two long hallways branching off from the lifts. The one to the left was blocked off by a glass door, and a keypad by its handle blinked red. They moved cautiously down the hallway on the right, Martin reading each plaque by the doors lining the hallway’s left wall. Anne Carrion, Ph.D.; Cerise Moore, Ph.D.; Maxwell de Santos, Ph.D.; Kenneth MacLeod, M.S.; Evelyn Ortega, M.S.; Janani Singh, Radiation Safety Specialist. 
“Molecular neuroscientists. Researchers, I believe.” Jon supplied helpfully, anticipating Martin’s question, “These are their offices.”
The doors to each office were locked, but a look through the small window in each door told them when they already knew: the floor, and likely the building as well, was completely and utterly deserted. Martin led the way back to the lifts and other hallway. He tried pushing (and then pulling) the glass door, but the red light on the keypad remained red, and the door remained locked. Jon made a move for the keypad as Martin stepped aside, and he punched in the numbers 2 8 7 3. The keypad glowed green, and Martin nearly fell through the door he was leaning on as it swung open. This hallway was wider, with doors flanking both sides and posters of academic journal articles pinned on the walls. Every door had a window through which they saw black-topped laboratory benches and sinks filled with glassware, as if there had been experiments actively in progress when all the researchers just disappeared from the labs. And every door was locked, this time with ID badge readers that Jon couldn’t exactly Know how to unlock. At the end of the hall was a pale yellow metal door that seemed to lead to a walk-in freezer, a dial by the door reading “-78ÂșC.” 
“There’s nothing else on this floor, is there?” Martin started heading back, “Maybe we should try the other floors?”
“Right, yes I think so.”
There was no reason to not check the floors sequentially, so they found themselves on the third floor, nearly identical to the second. The only differences were the names on the office plaques—behavioral neuroscientists, Jon had said—the addition of small animal cages devoid of any animals in the laboratories, and instead of a walk-in freezer, the room at the end of a the hall was labeled “Imaging,” and under it, a warning sign, “32P, 35S, 22Na, 36Cl RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPES IN USE.”
They continued up the floors, all of them some variation of the first they’d seen, half offices, half laboratories. It wasn’t until the fifteenth floor they found something different. The lifts opened up to a large room with two circular tables in the center, each for about eight people. The back wall was lined with floor to ceiling windows that looked out of the grey suburbs of the greater London area. It looked just as empty as it did when all the buildings disappeared as they stepped over the threshold to the complex, but Jon Knew it wasn’t actually empty, something was just making it look as if it were. Trying to Know what caused the illusion did nothing but make his vision go blurry for a few seconds.
The left and right walls of the room each had a set of double doors. As Martin approached the one on the left, Jon could hear him mutter the name on the plaque, “The Hallett Dale Conference Room.” This was the first unlocked room they had happened upon.
The other room was “The Milner Conference Room.” Jon found this one unlocked as well and pulled the doors open to reveal a sparsely decorated room with a long rectangular table in the center of it, chairs on the long sides, each side seating twelve.
Finding nothing notable, he exited the room and focused his attention on the scene outside, or rather, lack thereof. The unnatural emptiness gnawed on the inside of his mind, as if there was something just beyond his vision there he couldn’t quite see, an itch he couldn’t quite scratch. Martin left the Hallett Dale room and found him at the back windows, thousand-yard stare fixed loosely on the empty landscape below them. His top teeth worried at his bottom lip, and when Martin placed a hand on his shoulder, he didn’t react.
“Alright?” Martin asked gently, hoping to pull him out from his rumination.
Jon reached back to cover Martin’s hand on his shoulder with his own and let out a long exhale, “Let’s go look at the other floors,” he replied, still half lost in thought. 
At the sixteenth floor, they were met with the familiar sight of two hallways branching off to the left and right. The hall on the right yielded nothing surprising, just a row of offices, this time for a number of neuropharmacologists. The hall to the left was blocked off by a familiar glass door to which Jon entered the code as he had done for all thirteen other laboratory floors. The door swung in to reveal the wide hallway with labs on both sides. A walk-in freezer door was at the end, and Jon could have sworn it was just a slightly brighter yellow than all the others. 
They went through the usual routine of peeking inside the labs through the windows, checking their doors and finding them locked, each taking a side of the hallway. Martin reached the end first, turning his attention to the freezer door, its dial reading “-42ÂșC.” He tried the handle, which unlatched, “Uhm, Jon?” he made a move to pull the door open, “I think this one’s unlocked, actually.”
Jon’s head snapped up from the poster he was reading a few doors down and registered, half a second too late, that it was very much not a good thing the door was unlocked. “Martin!” he warned, closing the meters between him and the yellow in a couple frantic leaps. But Martin had already stepped inside, leaving the door slightly ajar. By the time Jon reached it, the familiar form of Helen, swathed in floating fractals and dizzying colors, stepped out, solidly blocking his path.
“Uh uh uh,” she pressed a finger to his chest, “you may want to stop there, dear Archivist,” her voice dripped sickly sweet condescension. Something sharp, fractal or finger, grazed his side, dangerously close to a part of his unprotected liver, where a rib used to be. Not that being lightly stabbed by the Distortion would cause any lasting injury to him, but it made him feel uncomfortably vulnerable all the same. “You stepping inside may be an easy way to cause me some trouble, but poor Martin would also be trapped in those corridors should they collapse in on themselves! Unless you can Know that you could get him out unharmed? But I don’t think that’s the case, is it?”
Jon searched for the knowledge for a second before realizing that it wasn’t and wouldn’t be coming to him. He sighed, “No, I suppose that isn’t the case.”
“Right then!” She continued with a cheeriness that was just so wrong, “That’s settled. It’s best you stay out here.”
He glanced past her shoulder into the corridor, seeing nothing comprehensible. The only things visible were patterns of colorful light dancing against inky black, as if he had closed his eyes and pressed his palms against them. Catching him looking, Helen smiled coldly and shut the door with her foot in one smooth motion. Jon strengthened the resolve in his voice, “What do you want?”
“Oh you already know! Thought I’d pop by for a chat, I just want us to be friends again of course!”
“You and I both know that’s not true,” Jon countered, punctuating the last word.
“Oh Jon, you and your silly little words you think still mean things! I think you of all people should know by now that fact and truth aren’t quite the same, hm? You may have all the facts of things, but how much of the truth do you really understand?”
“What are you going to do to Martin?” he demanded, voice low, solidly ignoring her question.
“Oh now aren’t you adorable, fussing over him like this. Don’t worry! Nothing will hurt him in there,” she laughed unnervingly, “Well, not physically! I just wanted some time for us to talk, hm what’s that word you use? Ah! Yes, avatar to avatar.”
“And will you let him go once I,” he spit the words out as if they were venom on his tongue, “talk to you?”
She considered it for a moment, dragging the decision out a tad longer than necessary just to watch Jon squirm, “Mmmh hmm, I suppose I will!”
The next moment passed in near silence, with only the hum of the not-freezer behind them. 
“Well?” Jon asked, impatient.
“Well,” she began slyly, “How have you two crazy kids been finding the trip since I last saw you? You’ve crossed quite a few now, haven’t you? Less than half to go!”
“What is it to you?” He was decidedly against answering in any satisfactory way.
“Just checking up! I know you’re not exactly an expert on friends, what with all of yours becoming not so fond of you by some point or another, but even you must know this is what friends do?” Her eyes glittered with mad glee. 
“I’m only still here so you’ll let Martin out. We,” he gestured pointedly in the space between them, “are never going to be friends. As if I could trust you after you sat idly by.” 
“Oh pity! I do think we could be the best of friends if you’d stop being so stubborn! But that’s your problem, isn’t it Archivist? You never really let yourself trust anyone, do you? And eventually, everyone gets tired of it and leaves. Or, they die before they can get tired. Oh! Or, they get tired and die. My, my, my, it doesn’t seem easy for those who get close to the Archivist.” She continued with little sign of stopping any time soon, “You like to think you’ve made an active decision to trust people, but how much have you actually stuck to that? You’re always on the defensive, holding people at arm’s length because you’re scared they’ll leave you. Maybe you say it’s for their safety, but clearly, they still aren’t very safe! So, how much is so you don’t feel as hurt when they leave?”
“Is this what you came here to do? Lay out my interpersonal troubles?” 
She continued, paying no mind, “And don’t even get me started on Martin. Now, he has loyalty to rival an entire army of knights. I don’t have to be all-knowing to know that boy won’t leave you. But how much of that loyalty is just out of a feeling of obligation to take care of people? Even if they hurt him? You know him, and if not, you at least Know him. He stayed by his mother all those years despite her causing him nothing but pain and trouble. And now,” she reveled in the determination dissolving behind Jon’s eyes, “Now he’s got you! Another person to devote himself to, regardless of if they deserve him or not!”
She was relentless, continuing as if she had an entire list and a time limit to mention everything, “Have you ever wondered how he really feels about this? Love of his life being the thing that started the apocalypse? That threw the world he loved into so much pain and misery and fear? Sure, he loves you, but is that the same as feeling safe with you? Even better, you’ve taken a statement from him before, haven’t you? Perhaps you’re the reason he can’t get a decent night’s sleep, what with you haunting his nightmares and all. He can barely get comfortable with you Knowing things, much less listen to you record a statement. Maybe, he’s even a bit repulsed, but he wouldn’t tell you that, would he? You can ask and ask, but you know as well as I do, he’s a damned good liar. And lie to spare your feelings? That’s the most Martin thing he could do!”
“I know what you’re doing,” he retorted through gritted teeth, “I know what you are. Es mentiras. I don’t have to believe a word you’re saying.”
 “Then tell me, Archivist, have you ever really asked him about this? How he feels about it all? About you? Have you Compelled him for the truth of his thoughts?”
“No, but I can’t, it’d be wrong—”
She cut him off, “Can’t or won’t? You say you can’t because doing so would be wrong and you don’t want to violate his free will like that, but isn’t part of it not that but rather that you’re scared of his answer?” She barreled over him before he had a chance to answer, “And he’s not naive, but he sure does have a lot of hope! Hope that all this will be reversed, hope that things will be normal again, hope that you will be normal again. But we both know that’s not happening. He’s always going to be shackled to you and your spooky omniscience! Even if you do somehow turn the world back, you’re surely not coming out of this the same person he fell in love with. I mean,” she laughed a little, the sound carrying down the hallway and settling into Jon’s bones, “even if you did, you have to admit that you’ve never been good at keeping people around. Always just a little too cold, walls built a little too high, and not much to offer but a disparaging and abrasive personality, hm?
“And dear Archivist, after everything he’s been through and all that he’s poured into caring for other people, what with the constant self sacrifice, don’t you think he deserves someone to take care of him? Actually make him feel safe?”
“Yes.”
“And you think you can do that? Be what he needs? Be enough?”
“I-I—,” Jon faltered for a moment before sighing, “I don’t know.”
“Well then, you see what I mean! Now, this has been just a lovely chat, but you know how it is. Business is booming, so I’ve got to dash!” 
Jon had too little time to process what was happening before the door opened and she stepped backwards into it, laughing while she did and giving Jon a little wave before it closed with a clear click. “Wait! But Martin!” He tried the door to find that it was securely locked. 
Jon had always considered himself someone to maintain some level of decorum and dignity, even if his professionalism was usually just a shield for himself or a diversion so others wouldn’t focus on anything else, but if there was ever a time to pound his fists against a door and wail and beg and plead, this was it. 
And he was about to when the door swung wildly open, nearly hitting him directly in the face, and out stumbled Martin, wild-eyed and disheveled. “Jon!” he cried, collapsing into Jon’s arms as he staggered slightly backwards from the shock of Martin’s weight on his shoulders, and they both sunk to the floor. 
“Martin,” Jon breathed a sigh of relief, “Martin, you’re—you—what happened?”
“H-how long was I in there?”
“I don’t know, about twenty minutes?”
“Oh God, Jon, it felt like forever. I had no idea how long I was there, I think I lost track somewhere between it feeling like hours and feeling like days,” he began to ramble now, breaths getting shuddery and shallow, “And you weren’t there, a-and—” the tears flowed freely now, and he sunk further into Jon’s arms, face pressed against his chest, “And I thought I would never get out of there and you would never come back and I kept hearing a voice in the corridors saying that nothing would ever be the same again and I didn’t know what she meant—I mean I thought that sh-she had killed you or something and I was just so scared and I—”
“Shh, I’m here, I’m here now,” Jon soothed, running his fingers through Martin’s tangled curls, “I’m here now.” He pressed a kiss to the back of Martin’s hand, skin still wet and salty with tears. It killed him to see Martin like this, in pain, because of Jon. But as Martin’s sobs gradually died down and his clutch on the front of Jon’s shirt loosened, Jon knew that right then, in that moment, he needed Martin and Martin needed him. Still though, what about after all this, if there even was an after? Helen’s words ran through Jon’s head as they sat on the floor of the laboratory building and held on to each other for dear life. And you think you can do that? Be enough?
They decided to stay in the building to rest for a few hours, even if they didn’t physically need it. Jon couldn’t wake Martin from the nightmare he had.
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allaboutfoodgwu · 6 years ago
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Anywhey You Want It
Protein is something humans reap naturally from food. From hunter-gatherer times, until the 1950’s, people seemed to survive, grow and function just fine without additives and supplements, so what happened? In the early 1900’s, a man named Bob Hoffman was one of the first people to suggest nutrition influenced the health and strength of a “man” (24, Hall and Fair).
Bob Hoffman greatly protested the early protein powders. He believed everything humans needed for an ideal physique could be provided by a balanced diet. His focus on nutrition’s bodily effect prompted people to pursue a perfected form—a way to maximize protein consumption, for a better physical outcome.
Thus, protein powder was born. One of the first was “by Patton’s dietetic of Los Angeles and Schenectady and contained such ingredients as soy beans, deep sea kelp, and whole wheat germ” (24, Hall and Fair). This sparked the beginning of body building that Americans, today, may be more familiar with. Protein became a revolutionary way to bulk muscle, without eating massive amounts of food.
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So if protein powder was born among the body building community in Los Angeles, how did it end up in the hands of the average consumer? Re-appropriation of protein supplements to target specific demographics like professional athletes, body builders, or people looking to lose weight, has driven the market in multiple directions. Protein powder was born from a culture obsessed with physical appearance. Now that protein products are becoming more ubiquitous in grocery stores, questions of who has access to such an excessive product and why are they buying it come to mind. Could protein powder be an indicator of larger cultural beauty standards?
Ulterior to the relationship between protein powder, working out and beauty standards, the expansive availability of vegan protein powders may be in response to increased popularity of veganism and vegetarianism. Agriculture and animal production are two of the largest contributors of green-house gases and climate change. In response, research has suggested Americans should reduce meat consumption to discourage animal production (Joyce, et al, 2012).
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Being the meat centered culture that America is, concerns of protein deficiency are large. Protein powder then becomes a viable option to help make up any nutritional gaps created by the omission of animal products. This study cannot speak for all American’s, however, so from her on I will be talking about protein powder consumers.
Funny enough, modern vegan powders are not totally unlike the original made back in 1950, soy is still a fairly common additive. The major difference between then and now though, is that people want more than just protein, they want a full serving of vegetables, antioxidant fruits, super food blends, biotin, collagen, vitamins, probiotics—things that would not be in your average hamburger.
My point is, protein powder has become a lot more than just protein, it’s become more of a cultural product in America, and for this study D.C. It is still used by athletes and body builders, but now D.C. residents outside these categories are hoppin’ on the Whey Train, hoping these magical protein powders will transform them as well. A self-awareness of environmental impact, in hand with influences from cultural beauty and fitness paradigms, creates an imaginary necessity for protein powder.
Understanding protein powder is not vital for survival, I would like to reconfigure it as a dietary accessory. Using ethnographic data collected from GNC, Safeway, Whole Foods and CVS, I use the position of protein powder in the store, as well as the availability of natural/conventional powders to generate an idea of the kind of customer these stores are targeting.
So what is my protein powder consumer profile? It seems the person stores are marketing to is affluent, health oriented and body conscious. Quick disclaimer: I only witnessed protein powder being purchased once during my time in the field, so all of my conclusions as to who protein consumers really are, are drawn from observations of the greater environment of each store.
Out in the real world D.C. residents do purchase protein powder. The fact that specialty stores, like GNC, exist shows there is demand in D.C.; however, I think demand for vegan or ‘natural’ protein powder is growing. 
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GNC has a limited selection of “healthy” powders, as the majority of their brands contain long lists of unknown (and unpronounceable) substances. The lack of business when I visited the store seems to suggest a decline in the popularity of their products, though I would also posit online markets may reflect a very different reality. These observations from GNC, combined with high prices ranging from $19.99 to $64.99, tells me protein buyers must be of higher economic status. Being located in a business area of D.C., I also suggest GNC’s protein customer is educated and health conscious (because they are buying protein powder).
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Whole Foods has a growing supply of natural protein powders. The average Whole Foods customer fits the archetype of my consumer—affluent and health conscious with the added bonus of environmental awareness. Whole Foods itself has a reputation for being fairly elite, as suggested by its nickname, “Whole Paycheck.” The high prices, starting at $25.99, of natural protein powder works to limit those who have access to the additive, repositioning protein as a status symbol (and supporting my hypothesized affluency of a protein powder consumer).
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Safeway tries to recreate the Whole Foods upper class ambiance by placing protein powder in the ‘natural’ aisle, which stands apart from the rest of the store because of its ‘natural’ wood flooring and organic labels. The aesthetic shift accentuates the segregation of ‘natural’ foods from the rest of the store. Protein powders can only be found in this aisle, and their selection is limited to natural and vegan brands.
Prices did start a little lower, at $16.99, however the large aisles, carts and adjacency to neighborhoods, suggested it is more of family grocery store. Therefore, these prices may still be considered high if two or more people are using the protein product.
The aesthetic separation of the natural aisle works to further emphasize protein powder as a status symbol by mimicking “whole paycheck.” Consumers of natural protein powder are physically and economically separate from the average Safeway shopper.
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CVS bridges the gap between Whole Foods and Safeway as it has both natural and conventional protein powders, despite its limited selection. Once more, I would like to bring attention to the placement of the conventional powder behind a support beam. This suggests CVS prioritizes the visibility of the natural protein powders. Maybe this means they expect customers who are looking for protein powder to be looking for natural brands. The natural products are consistently more expensive, starting at $23.99, than those that are not, which start at $20.79. The customer who purchases the natural product is likely someone with the resources to do so. Yes, there are the conventional options, but it seems clear that protein powders have taken a turn for the natural and expensive.
Discussion Looking across the four stores, protein powder is clearly a dietary accessory. Where powders once served a specific purpose for body builders, protein markets have expanded their appeal by incorporating other nutritional additives. High prices limit the accessibility of protein powder, something even greater affected by the even higher prices of natural products. The concept of ‘natural’ seems to be a marketing tool used by stores (with the exception of GNC because they have a more specific weight lifting demographic). “Natural” and “organic” tend to have upper class connotations or affiliations due to price trends (and whole paycheck). Protein powder’s affiliation with body builders may appeal to consumers’ desire to improve their musculature, but I argue this association is too limited now.
The socioeconomic affiliation with “natural” pricing and superadditives advertised on protein powder labels began to appeal to a broader audience. The cosmetic origins of protein continue on today as they aid in achieving cultural ‘fit’ beauty standards. This leads me to believe my Whey Train people are of a middle to upper socioeconomic class who seem to favor plant-based proteins in the interest of improving their health and physique.  
Adele Queener
Hall, Daniel and Fair, John. (2004). The Pioneers of Protein. Iron Game History. 8(3), 23-34.
Joyce, A., Dixon, A., Comfort, J. & Hallett, J. (2012). Reducing the Environmental Impact of Dietary Choice: Perspectives from a Behavioral and Social Change Approach. Journal of Environmental and Public Health. Doi:10.1155/2012/978672.  
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memories-are-mine · 7 years ago
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Aching
So... There was a gifset that I on my dash a while back that I was analyzing and I said I might write a fic about it...well... here we are
WARNINGS: ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, INJURY, THE PUPPY GETS KICKED. PHILLIPS PARENTS ARE EVIL
Summary: How Phillip ended up at Caroline’s ballet performance, and why he envies Charity Barnum
Original Post
I’m really sorry for the heartache in advance...
Enjoy!!
“Phillip.” The voice behind him sent a chill down his spine. Had he done something wrong? That was the only thing that crossed his mind. It was all he could think about. He took another sip of his drink.
“What do you want, mother?” He asked, not turning from the window, the glass of whiskey his only comfort.
“Watch your tone.” His mother’s voice took on a hard edge, she walked over and took his left arm, turning him around more roughly than the situation called for. “Your father and I really do think it’s time for you to settle down, get married. There’s a ballet performance tonight, and  Elizabeth May Johnson will be there with her parents. Your father and I are going and would like you to come along.”
Phillip resisted the urge to roll his eyes. That did not sound like a pleasant way to spend his evening. What he really wanted to do was pack his bags and flee the country. And he was not about to get married to some bratty upper-class bully. Not if he could delay it for just a little longer.    
“Sorry, mother,” he said, turning back around to face the window. “But I have things to write for my plays. The producers are getting impatient.”
He knows what’s coming when he says it. He just wished it didn’t have to be this way.
As the blow struck the back of his head, Phillip Carlyle prayed to every divine entity that might be listening for an end to the constant pain. The constant aching. It had happened before, of course, hundreds of times, and Phillip had the scars to prove it. But he knew that there would be no end, but it was nice to dream.
“That would be wonderful if you had any choice in the matter. Don’t turn your back on me!” His mother’s anger showed in her movements: she jerked his arm and twisted it in a way that it wasn’t meant to be twisted as she tried to force him around to face her. Phillip tried to muffle the cry of pain that escaped his lips as he whirled to face his mother.
He said nothing, simply clutching his arm to his side as the pair stared at one another, his mother wanting him to apologize, him not obliging.
“Well?” His mother asked.
“What would you like me to say, mother?” Phillip said, a little anger creeping into his voice, to disguise the fear. His arm was still held to his side, holding it like he had a sling, he should have had a sling for his arm, but he knew he wasn’t going to be getting one. “I’m sorry.”
“Phillip.” Another angry voice came from the doorway, it was his father’s this time. “You do not speak to your mother like that in this house.”
Phillip almost didn’t see the cane before it struck him in his already injured arm, sending a spike of white-hot pain through his entire body.  He bit back a scream, He would not show weakness. His father didn’t allow that.
The cane struck him again, in the back this time, and Phillip could hear the sharp crack as it struck his spine. He tried to stay on his feet. His good arm held the wall, trying to hold himself up. He would not show weakness. He could not show weakness. It would just make his beating worse.
“Remember your place,” His mother admonished, eyes flashing. “We’re leaving at seven-thirty sharp. And, by the way. I read the draft of your new play. The one that just went to the theatre. It’s awful.”
She swept out of the room without another word to him.
His father followed, but not without pausing in front of his damaged child. “You will come to the performance, or you’ll wish you were dead. Your choice.” One more slap across Phillip’s face for good measure, and his father strode out of the room as well.
Phillip was left with two choices: go to the ballet recital or wish he was dead. He knew his father would make good on his threat, so he chose to go to the gala. Though, deep down, if he faced it. His father didn’t have to do much to make him wish he was dead.
At the recital, Phillip went through the motions, trying his best to conceal his injury. He mingled with the snobs, talked about all the boring things they wanted to talk about, was never without a glass of the free champagne in his hand. It was his one salvation.
After the performance was over, Phillip watched out of the corner of his eye as one of the ballerinas, in Phillip’s opinion the best one on the stage, was teased, then ignored, by the rest of her peers. Phillip felt a twinge of sympathy as he saw the little girl lower her head, ashamed. He wished that he had the courage to tell the other girls to leave her alone. But he was a coward. He couldn’t even face his own parents. 
He took another glass of champagne as his mother beckoned him over.
“Phillip, this is Betsy Johnson, Elizabeth’s mother. I’m sure you’ve met her. Betsy, this is my son, Phillip.”
Mrs. Johnson extended her left hand to Phillip. “Mr. Carlyle, I love your plays, Eliza does too. Your last one was marvelous.”
“Indeed, we’re very proud,” His mother said with a well-faked smile. To some, the hand lying on his injured arm might have been a show of pride, Mrs. Mary Carlyle showing the world that her son was destined to do great things. But Phillip knew the real reason. It was a warning. It said. Behave, or this arm will start hurting a lot more. Her words from earlier still echoed in Phillip’s head. How awful his play was. 
He shook Mrs. Johnson’s outsretched hand with his injured arm, which screamed in protest. Phillip tried not to let it show.
A waiter went by with more champagne. Phillip practically lunged for the tray and grabbed another flute. He downed it. Tried to numb the pain.
Then, he felt eyes on him and glanced over, though it was nothing new. When he looked, he saw a blonde woman he recognized as Charity Hallett, no, Charity Barnum. The woman who’d run away to marry a man from the lower class. She had chosen love rather than be forced into an arranged marriage. Chosen happiness instead of a cage.
Phillip had always admired her for that.
He wanted nothing more than to do what she had done. Run off, see what was out there, live for once.
But he could never do that. He knew he couldn’t. He knew that wherever he went, his parents would always haunt him. They would always find him. They would break him down until he was no more than dust. Ready to heed their every order.
A voice snapped him out of his stupor.
“...Tea on Saturday?” Mrs. Johnson was saying. “Elizabeth couldn’t come tonight, caught a bit of a cold, but I’m sure she’d love to see you, Phillip.”
“We’d love to,” his mother answered for him. “Wouldn’t we, Phillip?”
“Of course,” Phillip wormed his way away from her. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’m going for a walk. Get some fresh air.”   
“Alright, dear,” his mother said calmly enough, but the underlying tone made her next words unnecessary. “Just don’t come back too late. You know how I worry.” And there it was. The threat. Not in words, but in tone, in movement, in the way she brushed his arm ever so slightly.
Phillip just ran. The moment he was outside the stuffy hall he ran. He ran through back alleys and down narrow roads. In the back of his mind he thought maybe, if he ran fast enough, he could start to fly. Escape his parents. Escape it all. Then he’d finally be free.
Phillip Carlyle didn’t go home that night.
He had a spare suit in the back of the carriage, enough to look presentable for the next night, when he was going to a showing of his play. Freedom for one more night.
In the back of his mind, he knew it was foolish, and would only end badly for him. But all he wanted was a taste of what Charity Barnum had. A taste of the freedom that Phillip was sure was even more addicting than the alcohol that churned in his stomach.
Even more addicting than the thought that he, Phillip Carlyle, could be himself one day. It was a nice thing to believe, but it was all futile nonetheless. Carlyles didn’t have that.
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pen-in-hand · 6 years ago
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CONFETTI! - Barnum x Carlyle (The Greatest Showman) - Sequel to Dorms of Bio Warfare
This is for @picnokinesis, who is not satisfied with exploding rotting sheep’s brains and demands diseased limbs. Bring on the confetti.
The day had come. High school graduation. No one was sure who was more happy, the students, or the staff and faculty.
Two years ago, the Bakers and the Dozens were flinging mouldy sandwiches and stuffing the ceilings with used feminine products. Now, it was time for the real world. Or so everyone hoped.
You would think as the boys got older, the “pranks” would descale, or disappear completely. Oh how they wished. Admittedly, there hadn’t been many pranks the last few weeks, but they just brushed it off, surely it was nothing. Surely
 right??? 
It was half-way through Headmaster Krooner’s farewell speech - Headmistress Hallett was offered a job in a school that didn’t have Phillip Carlyle or Phineas Barnum - when the students began to notice the police officers standing at the back of the hall. Why were they here? What were they doing? What happened? Who’s in trouble? Ignoring the not-so-silent whispering, Headmaster Krooner soldiered on.
Finally, the last student had walked across the stage, and it was time to celebrate the departure of the seniors. Along the walls of the hall were confetti cannons, just waiting to go off.
3!
2!
1!
And with a shout of Freedom!, the cannons exploded, showering everyone in the hall with confetti. Just not the type of confetti they were expecting.
Earlier that morning, the local police had been called down to the town morgue. The rather frantic, hurried message from the mortician had the officers confused, and a little worried. It was a small town, a quiet town. The local traffic consisted of a few old ladies gossiping on a street corner, and on weekends, the boys from the old school up the hill.
Oh.
Oh.
With a deep, regretful sigh, the officers pulled straws on who would have to deal with the Baker's Dozen’s latest prank. When the two who lucked out finally arrived, however, they decided that they would need everyone.
“So tell me who’s missing again?”
“Everyone!”
The exasperated sigh from the officer, and a shared look between his partner, he asked the frantic mortician again. “Who is missing, exactly?”
Scuttling over to his desk, the frazzled mortician opened the top draw of his desk and pulled out a clipboard. “Mr. and Mrs. Blaker - they passed yesterday from the shingles, god bless them and their 80 year-old hearts. Ms. Cecil - she passed, uh, about 2 weeks ago from, uh, Gonorrhea. Then there was a Jane Doe, some sort of hitchhiker I think, found dead 4 days ago with her head smashed in. Lastly was, uh, Father Bennett, found dead in his bed just the other day, death wasn’t natural I can tell you that.”
Phillip and Phineas were in for it now. Five stolen bodies and a possible murder. These boys didn’t do things in halves. What was the expression kids used nowadays? Go hard or go home.
While the shredded body-parts showered down around them, Phillip and Phineas could not be happier. 12 years of school were over, and they were never looking back. Ignoring their screaming cohorts, as they were covered in blood and bone, their lips met one final time. They knew there was no way they were walking out of there free.
All they wanted, was to go out with a bang.
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callmemana · 2 years ago
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Arms May Be Wide Open, But The Brain Cells Aren’t There: #9
Bob and Birdie: *making out in an empty hall*
Cyclone: Floyd, Hallett!
Cyclone: you know, I assumed that when you graduated my days of walking in on you two with your tongues down each other’s throats would be over.
Bob: *winks* that’s Lieutenant Floyd and Lieutenant Hallett to you, Cyclone.
Birdie: *tries and fails at covering up a snort of laughter*
Cyclone: *sighs*
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[Chaos Squad are caught by Ice & Slider]
Ice: what do you have to say for yourselves?
Dragon:
Dragon: Thomas Kazansky, what do you think you are doing out this late?
Ice: *speechless*
Whiskey: Yeah Ronald Kerner, what do you think you are doing out this late? It’s a work night and you know that you have to be up early tomorrow.
Slider: *speechless*
Dragon: we were worried sick! You could have been dying!
Ice: base is the safest place in the town.
Whiskey: that’s what they said about Pompeii. You know what happened? BOOM!
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Mouse: why are we laying on the ground?
Lucky: you got overwhelmed and fainted so Birdie and I laid down next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin’.
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[in the future]
Jax: *4 years old* why does everyone congratulate you for making the baby when mom is the one making the baby?
Rooster: uh
 I helped.
Jax: how?
Rooster:
Rooster:
Rooster: I read her the instructions.
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Whiskey: Lucky, get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you?
Lucky: Jake, Mama Whiskey wants you out of the house.
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Slider: I would like to propose

Whiskey: *freezes*
Slider: 
an idea.
Whiskey: oh?
Slider: we should get married.
Whiskey: OH-
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Birdie: I’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so I’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Birdie: *bites into a mug*
Birdie: this isn’t a bagel.
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Birdie: how do I politely ask him to slam me against a wall and make out with me?
Phoenix: Bird, it’s four in the morning, if you want to make out with Bob just do it quietly, I don’t care how you ask him!
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Slider: why are there little handprints all over the house?
Whiskey: *turns to Bird and Mouse* Birdie, Mouse, why are there little handprints all over the house?
Mouse: bc we have little hands.
Birdie: bc you guys left us alone.
Whiskey: *turning back to Slider* bc they have little hands.
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Dragon’s AngelsđŸ“»: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @starlit-epiphany @breadsquash @gracespicybradshaw
đŸ·ïž list: @luckyladycreator2
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atlanticcanada · 3 years ago
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N.B. reports four new cases of COVID-19 Thursday; 66.1 per cent of eligible population fully vaccinated
New Brunswick is reporting four new cases of COVID-19 on Thursday, as the number of active cases in the province rises to 12.
Three new cases were identified in the Bathurst region (Zone 6), involving two people ages 19 and under, and one person in their 40s. All three cases are travel related.
One new case was identified in the Saint John region (Zone 2) involving an individual in their 80s who is a contact of a previous case.
“It is important for all eligible New Brunswickers to get fully vaccinated, especially as we near going fully green,” said Dr. Jennifer Russell, chief medical officer of health. “If you have not yet done so, please act now. This will not only reduce your risk of contracting COVID-19 and of being seriously ill, it will also help to protect your family and friends.”
New Brunswick has had 2,358 cumulative cases of COVID-19 since the start of the pandemic.
In total, 2,299 people have recovered, and 46 people have died in the province from COVID-19.
There is currently no one hospitalized in New Brunswick due to COVID-19.
On Wednesday, 580 tests were conducted in the province. A total of 379,699 tests have been conducted since the beginning of the pandemic.
The number of cases is broken down by New Brunswick’s seven health zones:
Zone 1 – Moncton region: 492 confirmed cases (two active cases)
Zone 2 – Saint John region: 302 confirmed cases (four active cases)
Zone 3 – Fredericton region: 450 confirmed cases (three active cases)
Zone 4 – Edmundston region: 754 confirmed cases (no active cases)
Zone 5 – Campbellton region: 185 confirmed cases (no active cases)
Zone 6 – Bathurst region: 136 confirmed cases (three active cases)
Zone 7 – Miramichi region: 39 confirmed cases (no active cases)
VACCINE UPDATE
New Brunswick's COVID-19 online dashboard provides an update on the amount of vaccines that have been administered to date.
As of Thursday, 1,025,847 doses of COVID-19 vaccine have been administered in New Brunswick. The province says 81.9 per cent of the eligible population has received at least one dose, with 66.1 per cent now fully vaccinated.
All eligible New Brunswickers can book their second dose appointments if at least 28 days have passed since their first dose.
To receive their second dose, New Brunswickers are asked to bring a signed consent form, their Medicare card and a copy of the record of immunization provided after receiving their first dose.
Appointments for people who have not yet received their first dose continue to be available to all New Brunswickers aged 12 and older at regional health authority clinics and through participating pharmacies.
Public Health is also reminding New Brunswickers to keep a copy of their Record of Immunization form as their official proof of vaccination.
The provincial government has organized a series of mobile walk-in clinics for those who have not yet received their first or second dose of a COVID-19 vaccine.
Clinics are taking place this week at the following locations:
Recreation Centre (160 Klokkedahl Hill Rd., New Denmark) Thursday, July 29, between noon and 5 p.m.
Saint-Paul Golden Age Club (6532 Route 515, Saint-Paul) Thursday, July 29, between noon and 6 p.m.
Knights of Columbus Hall (22 Hallett Rd., Beechwood) Friday, July 30, between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m.
A mobile walk-in vaccination clinic will be held Monday at the Crowne Plaza at 659 Queen St. in Fredericton from noon to 5 p.m. The clinic will be for those who have not yet received their first or second dose of a COVID-19 vaccine. Pfizer will be available at this clinic.
N.B. TO MOVE TO GREEN PHASE OF REOPENING FRIDAY
New Brunswick will move into the Green phase of its recovery plan on July 30, lifting all public health restrictions and opening the province to travel, Premier Blaine Higgs announced Friday.
“This morning, Cabinet and the all-party cabinet committee on COVID-19 agreed that New Brunswick’s mandatory order will not be renewed on July 30. This will lift all mandatory travel and public health restrictions that have been in place since the pandemic began," said Higgs during Friday's news update.
As of 11:59 p.m. on July 30, the following restrictions will be removed in the province.
Lift all mandatory travel and public health restrictions that have been in place over the course of the pandemic.
Lift all provincial border restrictions; provincial border checks will cease, and registration will no longer be required to enter New Brunswick from anywhere in Canada.
Lift all limits on gatherings and the number of people within facilities. Capacity limits in theatres, restaurants and stores will no longer be required.
End the requirement to wear face masks in public.
"We came to this decision because we have reached our goal of 75 per cent of our eligible population having received their first vaccine, and are now at 81 per cent," said Higgs on Friday. "We know that there will be new cases, but thanks to the amount of people that are already vaccinated, we do not think that our health care system will be threatened."
As of midnight on July 30, all provincial border restrictions will be lifted, provincial border checks will cease, and registration will no longer be required to visit New Brunswick from anywhere in Canada.
However, travellers will still be subject to Canada's federal restrictions on International travel.
“We will be living with COVID-19, so we encourage New Brunswickers to continue to practise protective health measures such as hand-washing, coughing in your elbow, staying home when sick and wearing a mask if you so choose,” said Dr. Jennifer Russell, chief medical officer of health. “This virus is still with us and we should all expect to see cases as normal travel returns. If you have symptoms, get tested.”
YELLOW LEVEL REMINDER
All of New Brunswick remains under the Yellow level of recovery under the province’s order, which will be lifted effective 11:59 p.m. July 30.
from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/3yfLBoh
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johnpodlaski · 6 years ago
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Wikipedia describes Nose art as a decorative painting or design on the fuselage of a military aircraft, usually chalked up on the front fuselage, and is a form of aircraft graffiti.
While begun for practical reasons of identifying friendly units, the practice evolved to express the individuality often constrained by the uniformity of the military, to evoke memories of home and peacetime life, and as a kind of psychological protection against the stresses of war and the probability of death. The appeal, in part, came from nose art not being officially approved, even when the regulations against it were not enforced.
I’ve attached hundreds of unique color photos Huey’s, Chinooks, and more, showing how soldiers decorated their helicopters during the Vietnam War.  Most are elaborate, colorful, and often comical art inspired by Sixties and Seventies pop culture, music, cartoons and comics, psychedelia, and politics, as well as sex and booze.  The artwork personalizes an aircraft for its crew, because it is the crew members who name the aircraft and create the art, christening it with an identity of its own.
I’d like to offer a special “Thank You” to John Conway for allowing me to share many of these pictures from his Vietnam Helicopter Pilots Association (VHPA) Museum – donors of individual pictures are credited below.  The museum website is chock full of pictures, stories and other aviation information from the Vietnam War. The museum continues to grow and John welcomes any donations of images, stories or memorabilia for inclusion into the website and live exhibits. Please make it a point to visit the museum in the near future at http://www.vhpamuseum.org  
Quite a few pictures in the SLIDE SHOW below are not identified by unit or have additional info about the artwork.  If you can identify and provide that information, please get back to me.  Also, if anyone wants to contribute personal pictures of their ship’s artwork (Vietnam era) and back-up information, I’d be honored to add them to this article.  You can also mention whether or not I can forward copies to John Conway for the museum.
I hope you enjoy the 200+ photos!
Legend:
AHC – Assault Helicopter Company AML – Air Mobile Light ASH –  Assault Support Helicopter AWC – Aerial Weapons Company CAC – Corp Aviation Company HH – Heavy Helicopter
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Hank Llewellyn Interestingly, the photo, “71 AHC Rattlers – Image courtesy of Jim Adams, 1st Platoon Leader, Dec 68 – Dec 69” is of Medal of Honor recipient Col. Bruce Crandall’s door art. It was painted by CWO Sid Cowen. The doors adorned, then Major Crandall, Huey into the battle of the Ia Drang Valley, Nov 1965. The blue triangle indicates Alpha Company of the 229th AHB. The coiled serpent is formed in the shape of a “6” re: “Serpent 6” Crandall’s call sign. Photo is on display in the Pentagon “Hall of Hero’s”. Bruce returned to VN in1967 but was unable to locate the old doors that were refitted to each Huey he flew.
The 174th Dolphins, the “slicks,” adopted the above nose-art logo in mid-1967 that became a standard for several years. While there were a few individualized drawings used for nose-art on Dolphins, both before and after the ones depicted here, none were known to have been used on more than one aircraft at a time.  Photo by Jim McDaniel, 1967.
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Warlord 043 donated by Charles H. Hallett Jr. 123rd AVN Bn Co B Aero Scouts – Americal Division.  Supported troops in Happy Valley and A Shau Valley.
We used the Griffin call sign for the UH-1’s and the Little Griffin call sign for the LOH’s. I recall, some time before I left in 69, that we had to give up the Griffin call sign because some other unit was using it. One of the nose paintings was “Virgin Eater”. Another was “Cherry Popper.” This was based upon the logic that the mythical griffin only ate virgins – a perfect theme for young male pilots. Pilots’ names in this shot are; left as you face the chopper – CWO Bruce Sutton, and right as you face the chopper – CWO Richard Vonhatten.  Image courtesy of Pete Rzeminski, CW2 (8/68 – 12/69), HHC (Avn Det), 1st Brigade, 101st Abn Div.
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“The Incredible Hulk” of the 121st AHC – This ship had some reason to be slung back to Soc Trang. On down wind it began to oscillate and the Chinook had to punch him off at about 300 feet. With about 40 guys watching including the AC. I had my camera and for the life of me don’t know why I wasn’t taking pic’s. Dam! makes me sick everytime I think about it. Image courtesy of Lowell L. Eneix.
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D 3/5 OH-23 “Raven” featuring nose art of the “Spooks” Scout platoon (circa 1967). The “Spooks” were the predecessors of the Warwagons and possibly the only unit to fly the Raven in combat.  Image courtesy of Richard Bench
This piece of Nose art lasted less than a month. This helicopter’s crew chief was the pilot NCOIC for the Aero rilfle plt’s birds. His name was SFC John R Rock. (AT this time the Sgt Rock Comics were hot). D/1/1 had deployed from Fort Hood to join with our parent squadron 1/1 Armored Squadron assigned to the American Div in Chu Lai. Enroute our orders were changed attaching the troop to 2/17 Cav, 101st. This was the period of time when the division went from Airbone, to Airmobile and back to Airborne (Airmoble) in less than 2 months. We had the first Cobras attached to the division and 1st Avn Bde units supporting the 101st were redesignated as 101 units . The Division had become the Army’s second Airmobile Division As soon as the change was “Officially Completed” The word came down from Division Hqs there would be no Nose Art in the division and Sgt Rock disappeared. Image courtesy of Ray Knight
“Strawberry Bitch” of the 121st AHC (Namesake of the B-24 now in the US Air Force Museum at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio – ” I am pretty sure the pilot of that AC was the SON of the pilot who flew the B-24 on display at Wright-Patterson. Our company commander made him change it from “bitch” to “blonde” didn’t want any “nasty words” being displayed. So this just might be the only picture of the original “Strawberry Bitch” of the 121st” – Lowell Eneix     Image courtesy of Lowell L. Eneix
Casper Aviation Platoon was the only separate aviation platoon in the United States Army during the Vietnam War.  Casper was organized with the 173d Airborne Brigade on Okinawa in 1963 and arrived in country with the Brigade on May 5, 1965 becoming the first United States Army ground unit committed to the Vietnam War. Casper Platoon supported the Brigade until they all left Vietnam in August 1971.
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“The nose art is basically the standard design of several of our Huey’s but I added the name “Tumbleweed”. That’s what I called my ship.   The door art was a take off of a Sunday morning cartoon character. My CE at that point was a Sergeant John Sulfridge. We had to sneak the parts down town and have the art work done. I sent him in while I waited in the jeep. That was a mistake as you see my last name is misspelled. I was with D-Troop 3/5th From Sept ’70 to ’71. We changed our Unit to C 3/17 sometime before I left. I was the “Slick” Platoon Commander “Long Knife 26”.  Image courtesy of Mike Rokey
Don’t forget to visit the VHPA museum in the near future at http://www.vhpamuseum.org
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Should you have a question or comment about this article, then scroll down to the comment section below to leave your response.
If you want to learn more about the Vietnam War and its Warriors, then subscribe to this blog and get notified by email or your feed reader every time a new story, picture, video or changes occur on this website – the button is located at the top right of this page.
I’ve also created a poll to help identify my website audience – before leaving, can you please click HERE and choose the one item best describing you. Thank you in advance!
  Nose Art during the Vietnam War Wikipedia describes Nose art as a decorative painting or design on the fuselage of a military aircraft, usually chalked up on the front fuselage, and is a form of aircraft graffiti.
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your-dietician · 3 years ago
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GOLF Magazine's 2021-2022 Top 100 Teachers in America
New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/golf/golf-magazines-2021-2022-top-100-teachers-in-america/
GOLF Magazine's 2021-2022 Top 100 Teachers in America
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By:
GOLF Editors
July 4, 2021
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All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy a linked product, GOLF.COM may earn a fee. Pricing may vary.
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Dale Abraham
Bighorn GC, Palm Desert, CA
Top 100 since: 2017
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Eric Alpenfels
Pinehurst Resort, Pinehurst, NC
Top 100 since: 2001
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Cheryl Anderson
Mike Bender Golf Academy, Lake Mary, FL
Top 100 since: 2013
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Todd Anderson
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Todd Anderson
Center at TPC Sawgrass, Ponte Vedra Beach, FL
Top 100 since: 2003
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Jason Baile
Jupiter Hills Club, Jupiter, FL
Top 100 since: 2019
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Michael Bender
Mike Bender Golf Academy, Lake Mary, FL
Top 100 since: 1996
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Mark Blackburn
Greystone G&CC, Hoover, AL Twitter: @blackburngolf Top 100 since: 2013
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Mark Blackburn
Greystone G&CC, Hoover, AL
Top 100 since: 2013
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Steve Bosdosh
Academy, P.B. Dye GC, Ijamsville, MD
Top 100 since: 2001
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Michael Breed
CBS Sports and Golf Digest
Top 100 since: 2003
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Jason Carbone
Woodland CC, Carmel, IN
Top 100 since: 2007
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Martin Chuck
Raven GC, Phoenix, AZ
Top 100 since: 2017
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Nick Clearwater
GOLFTEC HQ
Top 100 since: 2021
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Chris Como
Dallas National GC
Top 100 since: 2013
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Tim Cooke
The Sea Pines Resort, Hilton Head Island, SC
Top 100 since: 2017
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Tim Cusick
PGA of America Faculty Member, PGA Frisco
Top 100 since: 2019
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Dana Dahlquist
El Dorado Park GC, Long Beach, CA
Top 100 since: 2019
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Dana Dahlquist
DiJulia Golf, Jericho National GC, New Hope, PA
Top 100 since: 2007
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Debbie Doniger
Glenarbor GC, Bedford Hills, NY
Top 100 since: 2017
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John Dunigan
Applebrook GC, Malvern, PA
Top 100 since: 2017
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Krista Dunton
Berkeley Hall Club, Bluffton, SC
Top 100 since: 2011
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Mark Durland
Durland Golf School, Naples Grande GC, Naples, FL
Top 100 since: 2017
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Chuck Evans
Apache Creek GC, Apache Creek, AZ
Top 100 since: 2009
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Wayne Flint
Highland Park GC, Birmingham, AL
Top 100 since: 2021
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Sean Foley
Sean Foley Performance, Timacuan GC, Lake Mary, FL
Top 100 since: 2013
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George Gankas
Westlake Village GC, Westlake Village, CA
Top 100 since: 2019
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Gary Gilchrist
Mission Inn Resort and Club, Howey-in-the- Hills, FL; Bishops Gate GC, Howey-in-the- Hills, FL
Top 100 since: 2013
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Lou Guzzi
Talamore CC, Ambler, PA
Top 100 since: 2011
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Mark Hackett
Old Palm GC, Palm Beach Gardens, FL
Top 100 since: 2009
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Joseph Hallett
Vanderbilt Legends Club, Franklin, TN
Top 100 since: 2011
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Scott Hamilton
Cartersville CC, Cartersville, GA
Top 100 since: 2015
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Bill Harmon
Performance Academy, Toscana CC, Indian Wells, CA
Top 100 since: 1996
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Claude Harmon III
Butch Harmon Floridian, Palm City, FL
Top 100 since: 2015
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Sean Hogan
Leadbetter Golf Academy World HQ, Omni Orlando Resort, ChampionsGate, FL
Top 100 since: 2015
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Michael Hunt
Bayonne GC, Bayonne, NJ (summer); Miami Beach GC, Miami Beach, FL (winter)
Top 100 since: 2017
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Edward (Ed) Ibarguen
Jacobs 3D Golf at Rock Hill CC, Manorville, NY (summer); Duke University GC, Durham, NC (winter)
Top 100 since: 2001
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Michael Jacobs
Jacobs 3D Golf at Rock Hill CC, Manorville, NY
Top 100 since: 2017
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Eric Johnson
The Yellowstone Club, Big Sky, MT
Top 100 since: 2011
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Matt Killen
Troubadour Golf & Field Club, College Grove, TN
Top 100 since: 2019
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Jerry King
Gozzer Ranch Golf & Lake Club, Harrison, ID (summer); Chileno Bay Club, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (winter)
Top 100 since: 2009
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Kevin Kirk
The Woodlands CC, The Woodlands, TX
Top 100 since: 2013
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Jeff Leishman
The Dye Preserve, Jupiter, FL
Top 100 since: 2017
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Bryan Lebedevitch
PGA West Golf Academy, La Quinta, CA
Top 100 since: 2021
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James Leitz
Tchefuncta CC, Covington, LA
Top 100 since: 2013
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Brian Manzella
English Turn G&CC, New Orleans, LA
Top 100 since: 2011
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Lynn Marriott
Talking Stick GC, Scottsdale, AZ
Top 100 since: 1996
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Chris Mayson
Maderas GC, Poway, CA
Top 100 since: 2021
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Cameron McCormick
Trinity Forest GC, Dallas, TX
Top 100 since: 2021
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Mike McGetrick
Robert Trent Jones GC, Gainesville, VA
Top 100 since: 1996
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Susie Meyers
Ventana Canyon Golf & Racquet Club, Tucson, AZ
Top 100 since: 2017
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Brian Mogg
Waldorf Astoria GC, Orlando, FL
Top 100 since: 2005
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Jamie Mulligan
Virginia CC, Long Beach, CA
Top 100 since: 2015
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Scott Munroe
Nantucket GC, Nantucket, MA (summer); Boca Raton Resort & Club, Boca Raton, FL (winter)
Top 100 since: 2009
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Jim Murphy
Sugar Creek CC, Sugar Land, TX
Top 100 since: 2003
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Bernie Najar
Caves Valley GC, Owings Mills, MD
Top 100 since: 2015
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Pia Nilsson
Talking Stick GC, Scottsdale, AZ
Top 100 since: 2001
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Rob Noel
Money Hill G&CC, Abita Springs, LA
Top 100 since: 2015
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Rob Noel
Friar’s Head, Riverhead, NY (summer); The Courses at Watters Creek, Plano, TX (winter)
Top 100 since: 2013
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David Orr
Pine Needles Lodge & GC, Southern Pines, NC
Top 100 since: 2019
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Andrew Park
Orange County National Golf Center & Lodge, Winter Park, FL
Top 100 since: 2019
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Justin Parsons
Sea Island GC, St. Simons Island, GA
Top 100 since: 2021
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Mike Perpich
RiverPines Golf, Johns Creek, GA
Top 100 since: 2001
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Gale Peterson
Sea Island GC, St. Simons Island, GA
Top 100 since: 1996
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E.J. Pfister
Oak Tree National, Edmond, OK; Oklahoma City G&CC, Nichols Hills, OK
Top 100 since: 2009
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Dave Phillips
Titleist Performance Institute, Oceanside, CA
Top 100 since: 2001
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Joe Plecker
The Landings Club, Savannah, GA
Top 100 since: 2017
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Andy Plummer
JW Marriott Miami Turnberry Resort & Spa, Aventura, FL
Top 100 since: 2013
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Carol Preisinger
Kiawah Island Club, Johns Island, SC
Top 100 since: 2005
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Andrew Rice
The Club at Savannah Harbor, Savannah, GA
Top 100 since: 2019
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Brady Riggs
Four Seasons Resort Hualalai, Kailua-Kona, HI
Top 100 since: 2007
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Trillium Rose
Woodmont CC, Rockville, MD
Top 100 since: 2021
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Terry Rowles
Mountain Ridge CC, West Caldwell, NJ
Top 100 since: 2019
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Tony Ruggiero
Frederica GC, St. Simons Island, GA
Top 100 since: 2017
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Don Sargent Jr.
Scioto CC, Columbus, OH
Top 100 since: 2013
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Adam Schriber
LochenHeath GC, Williamsburg, MI
Top 100 since: 2009
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Adam Schriber
LochenHeath GC, Williamsburg, MI
Top 100 since: 2009
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Michael Shannon
TPC Sawgrass, Ponte Vedra Beach, FL
Top 100 since: 2011
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Ted Sheftic
Bridges GC, Abbottstown, PA (summer); Indian River Club, Vero Beach, FL (winter)
Top 100 since: 2003
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James Sieckmann
Shadow Ridge CC, Omaha, NE
Top 100 since: 2013
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Jeff Smith
TPC Summerlin, Las Vegas, NV
Top 100 since: 2019
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Jeff Smith
Sagamore Club, Noblesville, IN; Timbergate GC, Edinburgh, IN
Top 100 since: 2021
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Todd Sones
White Deer Run GC, Vernon Hills, IL
Top 100 since: 1996
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Mitchell Spearman
Mitchell Spearman Golf Academy, Doral Arrowwood Resort, Rye Brook, NY
Top 100 since: 1996
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Brech Spradley
Omni Barton Creek Resort and Club, Austin, TX
Top 100 since: 2021
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Kevin Sprecher
Sleepy Hollow CC, Briarcliff Manor, NY
Top 100 since: 2017
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Drew Steckel
Southern Highlands GC, Las Vegas, NV
Top 100 since: 2021
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Kellie Stenzel
Palm Beach CC, Palm Beach, FL; Boca Raton Resort & Club, Boca Raton, FL
Top 100 since: 2009
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Boyd Summerhays
McDowell Mountain GC, Scottsdale, AZ
Top 100 since: 2019
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Jon Tattersall
Tattersall Golf, Atlanta, GA
Top 100 since: 2007
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Kate Tempesta
Birdie Basics, New Caanan, CT
Top 100 since: 2021
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Allen Terrell
Dustin Johnson Golf School, Murrells Inlet, SC
Top 100 since: 2021
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John Tillery
Golf Club at Cuscowilla, Eatonton, GA
Top 100 since: 2019
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E.A. Tischler
Olympia Fields CC, Olympia Fields, IL
Top 100 since: 2015
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Tina Tombs
The Arizona Biltmore GC, Phoenix, AZ
Top 100 since: 2019
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VJ Trolio
Old Waverly GC, West Point, MS
Top 100 since: 2015
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Jeff Warne
The Bridge GC, Bridgehampton, NY
Top 100 since: 2019
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Shaun Webb
Athletic Motion Golf, Cartersville, GA
Top 100 since: 2021
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Kevin Weeks
Cog Hill G&CC, Lemont, IL
Top 100 since: 2013
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Gary Weir
Westchester CC, Rye, NY
Top 100 since: 2017
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Suzy Whaley
Country Club at Mirasol, Palm Beach Gardens, FL
Top 100 since: 2019
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Jonathan Yarwood
IJGA, Hilton Head Island, SC
Top 100 since: 2019
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Josh Zander
Stanford University GC, Stanford, CA
Top 100 since: 2013
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muthur9000 · 7 years ago
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My next instalment of the creatives series features the amazingly talented concept artist Ev Shipard who worked on art concepts for the Engineer city, David’s Lab and the Egg chamber.
Clara Fei-Fei: Thanks so much for taking time to answer my questions, could you start by telling me what was your favourite Alien/sci-fi movie?
Ev Shipard: That’s a tough one- if we are talking about creature films then it’s a very close tie between Alien and The Thing- both get a lot of screen time in the studio. The level of tension in both of these has you on the edge of the seat looking into the shadows. Obviously Alien has stunning production design and cinematography which I find myself constantly coming back to for inspiration- a defining moment for Science Fiction. But let’s not forget the original trilogy of Star Wars. I was a kid of the late 70’s/80’s so it was my foray into the world of sci-fi film
 and of course the toys!
  CF: Who’s your favourite character in any alien/sci-fi movie?
ES: I think David’s character arc has been great. Getting my head around his approach with his Lab and Room during the design phase was a unique opportunity. Of course, I do have a soft spot for Private Hudson.
  CF: Which variation of the xenomorph is your favourite?
ES: I always thought Fincher’s Alien 3 creature was great- it felt more animalistic and I remember moved a little better than the suits in Aliens. The browns and ochres were an interesting departure and Giger created a very cool looking variant initially for that film. I love the look of Fincher’s film and absolutely love the production design. Norman Reynolds interestingly enough also worked on Raiders and the original Star Wars Trilogy. Prior to Fincher, Vincent Ward has a very interesting approach to this film- the story is pretty much unchanged but it’s worth perusing his site for some of the visuals. On our ‘Covenant’ the creature department did an amazing job revisiting the Xenomorph- walking around the studio looking at the sculpts in progress was great inspiration for some of my work on David’s Lab.
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CF: If you could enhance any part of your body using robotics, which would it be and what abilities would you choose to give it?
ES: I am a traditionalist at heart so I’d steer clear of any mods.
  CF: What got you interested in being a concept artist? Which concept artists do you admire? What sort of advice do you have for others considering this line of work?
ES: I think I’d have to owe that to Star Wars and Bladerunner- seeing McQuarrie and Mead’s work in books as well as a drive to tell my own stories visually from a young age. I was the kid drawing in all my class books- massive battles starting on the back page. These days as an artist I am always looking for a creative outlet for personal expression which is usually drawing or oil painting.
Being an artist in the entertainment industry in a global market is very competitive and requires a real commitment to study. I think the best advice is to focus on fundamentals and be prepared to be the perpetual student- always willing to learn and grow. Not just with skill and aesthetic but also with the myriad of software packages that allow us to do what we do. An artist perceives the world in a unique way and I believe it isn’t a vocation but a way of life. It’s the curiosity about even the most mundane aspects of what most people take for granted and how to represent this visually often within a story.
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CF: What sort of things did you have to consider when creating concept art for David’s lab?
ES: Initially, the space for the lab was supposed to resemble the egg chamber- we had this favourite reference of a bunker and the ceiling would have a stone spine with arches that we could utilise across the two sets. This changed as many things invariably do within the context of the story and the idea. Often Ridley would sketch out in pen a rough idea, we called these Ridleygrams, and this would become the basic idea of our direction. Sometimes they would be very simple but all the information was there for a visual starting place. Ridley had an affinity for a photo reference of a catacomb in Malta and It was my job to take this aesthetic and shape language and bring it into David’s Lab and also his room. David was repurposing the space for his own work so the Lab would have aspects of its previous history plus all his experimentation and failed attempts at biology. We see again the ampules and canisters which were recreated for this film. One of the striking features were the drawings that Dane Hallett and Matt Hatton produced hanging from the walls and ceiling. These were originally supposed to be drawn on stretched flesh and mounted on frames above. I scattered these around as compositional elements in my paintings and used them to refract light and create interest- when the camera moves you would have nice overlapping elements and parallax. I built this set in 3d after the initial sketches and handed this over to the set designers to refine, create plans and accurate dimensions to build. The table was also a 3d model which started out life in ZBrush. My take on it was a large obsidian slab but with a fine blood channel through the centre and on the ground small drains. The idea was that it could have been a sacrificial chamber below the cathedral- David had repurposed this as his workbench. All this is my hypothesis rather than direction from above but these little things all become part of the bigger picture and it’s great to put your stamp on aspects that you consider have merit within the overarching narrative.
  CF: What is your favourite piece you ever created?
This is a hard one- most commercial work and even my personal work is only really a favourite till the next one. It’s always a challenge and rarely comes easy but this is all part of the process.
  CF: What sort of concept art projects have you worked on in the past? What was the major difference between those projects? e.g: Large-scale vs small scale
ES: I’ve worked on a broad range of projects with the majority being period films from 300 to Unbroken. Every project has a unique with vision spearheaded by the Director and Production Designer. I’ve worked with the same crew many times however on both large and smaller budget projects. Sometimes there is more of a focus on design with pure concept art and sometimes it’s more about rendering sets already designed in the context of the story.
  CF: What’s it like to work on concept art for a movie vs games?
ES: With games projects, I have only really worked with cinematics or live action marketing campaigns, like the Halo and Battlefield spots, so that is very similar to preproduction and postproduction on films.
  CF: How long does it take to work on a piece? How many hours?
ES: Some artwork is executed in hours, some days, it really depends on the context and requirements of the work. I produced a lot of b/w studies or story beats from the script on Covenant which was used by Ridley Scott and Chris Seagers to work out the expedition from the Lander to the City and what we would see. some of these were done very quickly but for the most part, a rendered frame takes me around 2-3 days. This isn’t including the many iterations based on feedback/comments or script changes that occur throughout the process.
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CF: I became familiar with your work through Alien: Covenant, what sort of concept art did you do for the movie?
ES: My work encompassed many sets and potential locations but my main focus was the Engineers World. I spent the most time working on the Hall of Heads which included digitally painted art, sculpted clay maquettes, digitally sculpted pieces to mill for the set and worked with story points and dressing throughout it. I worked on an early rendition of the plaza and digital sculpts of statues that were also milled from foam full scale for the sets. David’s lab, his room and the egg chamber also took up a major part of my time. A lot of my work focuses on mood and lighting within these environments. I also worked on the Lander in the air and on the ground with Steve Burg’s amazing design. There were lots of location-based pieces of art using photos from various places in Australia and New Zealand- these are contextual paintings with script elements and used to help the production settle in a specific location. This is a big part of what we do on a lot of features.
  CF: What details could you share about your pieces featured in the art book? ES: The art book
 a point of contention. I am grateful that I had many pieces featured but the lack of image credits for a lot of the art just really gets my blood boiling. Of course by the time the book is produced most of the art department is no longer involved in any of the process, it’s another publisher and marketing team working on it and rights and deals mean there is no requirement for any credit but still some of the best ‘making of’ books out there credit the artists. I’ve been involved in many projects where this is the case and it’s a frustrating aspect of the experience.
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CF: As for the Engineer city and scenes, did you get much of a say in aesthetics? What sort of design brief were you given to adhere to?
ES: Ridley and Chris have accumulated tons of references- beautiful photographs from classical art, architecture, and design to really get the feel across. These were collated on large black foam core boards and posted in the ‘War Room’ which became our go-to place for inspiration. All this was replicated across the servers but it was nice to peruse all this together in the room. Stephane Levallois who is an amazing storyboard artist explored the city early on with some architectural designs in pencil. We also referenced Steve Messing’s earlier work. I was tasked with following this aesthetic and the look and feel of what we designed with the Plaza and interiors bringing it all together. I spent a lot of time designing profiles of buildings and structures to make sure the aesthetic flowed through into post-production. Our pre-production nestled nicely into the post with a lot of communication with the VFX supervisor. Chris Seagers (Production Designer) was very savvy and aware of this- he wanted it to flow smoothly.
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CF: For the hall of heads did you use the elder Engineers from the initial Sacrificial Engineer scene cut from Prometheus as a reference?
ES: They were part of the reference library but more specifically we tried to create an original look and feel for this culture that tied back to what we had seen in the previous film. Ridley had these great photos of elder indigenous people from all over the world and aspects of these were sculpted into all the 7 heads. The heads started life as ZBrush sculpts, clay maquettes and later milled foam sections from the digital file. These were reproduced in detail for the epic heads we see on the set. Each one is individual, however with the final lighting and framing that is a little hard to register. We built a bit of a hypothetical back story here with the heads being effigies of the elders of the society- this place was a meeting room where decisions were made. Initially there were specific seats, a fire pit in the middle and of course the large table which was a variation of the table in David’s Lab. 7 heads with 7 a prime number and perhaps they used a base 7 system- so a kind of history and culture was sketched out to give it all a foundation. I guess with many early Earth cultures tied into this we can hypothesise about the Engineers and our planet, seeding life etc- I’m making presumptions here as Ridley and Chris didn’t specifically explain this. The concept art room was a fun melting pot of ancient alien ramblings and conspiracy theories, to much of the Art Department’s entertainment. I’m not sure how serious we were considering this though, with this project I guess it comes with the territory.
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CF: What sort of things did you have to consider when creating concept art for David’s lab?
ES: Initially the space for the lab was supposed to resemble the egg chamber- we had this favourite reference of a bunker and the ceiling would have a stone spine with arches that we could utilise across the two sets. This changed as many things invariably do within the context of the story and the idea. Often Ridley would sketch out in pen a rough idea, we called these Ridleygrams, and this would become the basic idea of our direction. Sometimes they would be very simple but all the information was there for a visual starting place. Ridley had an affinity for a photo reference of a catacomb in Malta and It was my job to take this aesthetic and shape language and bring it into David’s Lab and also his room. David was repurposing the space for his own work so the Lab would have aspects of its previous history plus all his experimentation and failed attempts at biology. We see again the ampules and canisters which were recreated for this film. One of the striking features were the drawings that Dane Hallett and Matt Hatton produced hanging from the walls and ceiling. These were originally supposed to be drawn on stretched flesh and mounted on frames above. I scattered these around as compositional elements in my paintings and used them to refract light and create interest- when the camera moves you would have nice overlapping elements and parallax. I built this set in 3d after the initial sketches and handed this over to the set designers to refine, create plans and accurate dimensions to build. The table was also a 3d model which started out life in ZBrush. My take on it was a large obsidian slab but with a fine blood channel through the centre and on the ground small drains. The idea was that it could have been a sacrificial chamber below the cathedral- David had repurposed this as his workbench. All this is my hypothesis rather than direction from above but these little things all become part of the bigger picture and it’s great to put your stamp on aspects that you consider have merit within the overarching narrative.
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  CF: What was it like creating your version of Giger’s Li?
ES: For me, this was a fun diversion. It plugged into David’s lab but the script was constantly moving with this and I wanted to create something early on- a tribute to Giger. It became a bit of a talking point then we moved on still not knowing what was happening with Shaw even up to the shoot (from the perspective of the Art Department). Then I started to see some of the work Creatures were doing and I ended up producing a painting later with Shaw on the Slab and David and Oram looking over her. The interesting thing I found with the Li painting was how much Noomi started to resemble Sigourney as I worked the face in. There were a number of variations done of this with more or less biomechanoid features and elements.
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CF: What did you think about Alien: Covenant? if there was something you could change, what would it be?
I think our work in the Art Department was showcased well. I’m proud of how the Engineer’s world was resolved ultimately. Personally, I would like to have seen more of our city and spent the time to delve into the culture and most people I have spoken to loved this aspect of the film and wanted to know more. Perhaps this will be dealt with in other avenues- audio books, comics, novels etc but I guess the test screenings wanted more aliens in space and we ended up with what we got. There was a lot more of the culture designed(loosely)- gardens, the graves, a tree of life etc that was ultimately cut. Ridley always produces a stunning looking well-designed piece of entertainment and it was a pleasure to work as part of his team.
Thank you for reaching out and the opportunity to talk about this project that I consider a career highlight. I can be found at http://evshipardentertainmentart.com/ and for those that are interested in behind-the-scenes and my sketches
 https://www.instagram.com/evshipard/
Creatives: Ev Shipard My next instalment of the creatives series features the amazingly talented concept artist Ev Shipard who worked on art concepts for the Engineer city, David's Lab and the Egg chamber.
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ridgwayjones · 4 years ago
Video
vimeo
SWEET TOOTH (London Premiere 22 Feb 2018) from Elaine Mitchener on Vimeo.
London Premiere 22 Feb 2018, St George’s Bloomsbury – London SWEET TOOTH is a cross-disciplinary music theatre piece devised by vocal and movement artist Elaine Mitchener using text, improvisation and movement, to stage a dramatic engagement with the brutal realities of slavery, as revealed by the historical records of the British sugar industry, and to illuminate its contemporary echoes.
The 50-minute piece is divided into six chapters: 1. Universal slide - invocation 2. Bound 3. Scold’s Bridle 4. Names 5. Scramble 6. The mill - invocation
SWEET TOOTH has been supported with public funding from Arts Council England. Commissioned by Bluecoat in partnership with the Stuart Hall Foundation, London and The International Slavery Museum with further support from PRSF Open Fund, Edge Hill University, Centre 151, John Hansard Gallery and St George’s Bloomsbury.
Credits: Concept, Direction & Music: Elaine Mitchener Movement Direction: Dam Van Huynh Historical Consultant: Dr Christer Petley, University of Southampton Lighting Design: Alex Johnston Producer: Pierre Palluet Performed by: Elaine Mitchener, Sylvia Hallett, Mark Sanders, Jason Yarde Film: Barry Lewis Sound recording: HPA UK
elainemitchener.com
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steveskafte · 4 years ago
Photo
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DANCING ON THEIR GRAVES Here lie the children of Henrietta and William Hallett Ray, none older than 3 years of age. They've been locked away from rain and snow for nearly a century, beneath the one-time residence of the Cornwallis base commander. It's the only remaining home in a sea of Navy barracks and crumbling infrastructure, somewhat worse for wear since the military moved out. They were planted in the yard as they died, all through the 1850s – first Edward, then little William, Gilbert, and Amelia in close succession. So they stood, first alone, then with their parents for company. Henrietta followed in 1892, and their father finally in 1909. But they didn't rest long. New owners uprooted the parents and shipped them upriver, sunk in new dirt at the United Church Cemetery in Clementsport. Leaving the children behind, they built a west wing overhead in the 1920s. It was a beautiful ballroom to entertain guests, hardwood flooring polished smooth with social graces – and so it goes that strangers spent decades dancing on their graves. The old home was built in New England style, and the additions were New England Revival. But there'll be none of that resurrection down here, no coming up from under, trapped just centimeters from the beams above. I first heard about this place some years ago, whispered about like rural legend, a what-if myth that no one really believed. "Did you hear about the children under the home?" I shook my head, and took it with the same skepticism as I might a ghost story. But curiosity carried me knocking to the door, asking if the tales were true. The homeowner guided me in through winding halls, down stairs to a sleepy basement, through a creaking metal bulkhead to the crawlspace. I shimmied in like an anxious submariner sweating, scraping knee and belly, dust in my lungs and feeling the weight of the ceiling. Dead center of the cavern, perched between the concrete pillars – there they were. Planted upright and rising like perennial sorrow, clear as the day they were carved. No moss or lichen, no wearing weather, no moth and rot to corrupt them. I spent some time just sitting, lost in the feeling; temperature and humidity strangely steady, dry as a bone and gently warm. I drifted around in the murky darkness, as my eyes came home to the gloom. The space was close and quiet, lit only by two tiny windows, too small for crawling in or out. As I finally shuffled back the way I came, that small metal door swung suddenly shut. It hammered hard in its frame and stuck shut in the process – no latch on the inside for me to turn. I waited for a minute while the man came to get me. "It's got a spring," he said, finally swinging it open, "Does that sometimes." On the wet drive home into twilight, I found myself thinking about the legacy of William Hallett Ray. He was a member of the Anti-Confederation Party, and if he'd had his way, the Maritimes would have stayed separate from Canada as a whole. Sometimes seems that's true just the same, but when we're dead, we get no say where we go. In life, Mr. Ray didn't get what he wanted, and in death, his last resting place wasn't honored. I guess the least we can do is remember. November 26, 2020 Ray Family Burial Ground Cornwallis, Nova Scotia Year 14, Day 4764 of my daily journal.
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