#half of this blurb is just me rambling & i apologize for that sbeksnendnd

[strayfreckles]

[zephyr] 0.8k words, soulmate au; fluff, angst.

“So you dragged me out of my house, forced me to bike up a hill in under ten minutes, for what?”

You stare up at Felix, who’s sitting atop the run-down monkey bars, with your hand shielding your eyes, the sun glowing behind his lithe figure and his eyes bearing semblance to two crescent moons. He pats the spot next to him with an expectant gaze. You scan the empty playground with a sigh—eerie and dissonant without the lofty, wholehearted laughs of bright-eyed children—and follow his initiative, setting your bike beneath the dancing leaves of a crabapple tree before approaching him with light, rapid steps.

“Will you tell me now?” You ask after climbing what is one kick away from being a health hazard, although it’s surprisingly sturdy when you join Felix at the top, your feet dangling off the edge. Then he tilts his head with a smile, pointing upwards.

“The sunset.”

The sky is a dazzling palette of lavender, pink, and indigo, the rippling clouds are dipped in a hazy amber hue once the sun reaches them; despite feeling the urge to strangle your best friend, the content sigh that leaves you convinces you otherwise. Felix grins, clearly pleased, and inches near you.

“That and I found my soulmate.”

The way he says it is casual, like he’s discussing the weather; his tone is mellow and far from bewildered, not a trace of disgruntlement tainting his features. Your eyes dart to his hands, straining to see the thin black line on his ring finger, which—as you were told your whole lives—was to turn golden the moment you talk to your soulmate, your other half, your destiny.

“Oh?”

He hums in confirmation, and he moves, and you see his hands: it hasn’t turned gold yet. You blink once. Twice. It’s still that same ebony color which you burned into the back of your mind. Felix hums lightly, his forehead sheer with sweat and his lips the shade of strawberry lollipops; he pushes his hair back.

“Mhm, they’re sitting right beside me.”

You smile, and pain pulls at your calves when you swing your legs back and forth, his tone spurs a multitude of childhood memories buried beneath a pile of heavy schoolwork and extreme external pressures; when was the last time you heard him joke like that?

“Wouldn’t that be nice, being your soulmate?” You stare at your own hands, at the line across your finger which you tried to ignore for years, “I could've spared one more person from your godforsaken puns. But alas,”

“Soulmates aren’t dictated by that mark,” he murmurs, his eyes softening, “soulmates… they’re someone that knows nobody’s your other half—that you were always whole in the first place, and that they just needed to learn how to love every side of you there is, no matter how terrible it can be, because it’s… you. They’ll learn to love you even if it takes a lifetime, because a lifetime is worth it when it comes to you.”

“So am I worth a lifetime, Felix?”

“You’re worth a thousand forevers, Y/N.”

Felix grins, and for a moment you’re reminded of that young boy who hid his smile beneath his tiny hands, who used to pull his hood all the way up to hide the constellations embedded on his cheeks until you told him that they were beautiful, who scolded you when you felt even a sliver of shame about any aspect of yourself because you taught me how to appreciate every part of me there is—and although I can’t fully do that yet, I refuse to see the one person who’s loved the ugliest parts of me tear themself apart because they think they aren’t enough. You are enough.

You still frown when you look at a mirror, but slowly, surely, you’re learning how to unclench your jaw, to let your brows unfurrow the way the night unfurls upon the sparkling rooftops of a city. You aren’t there yet. Still, in your chest are little fires everywhere that burns you inside out, but you hope that someday, you’ll learn how to appreciate the warmth that it gives, and you’ll find yourself believing every word that Felix says.

Fate, you think; it’s something that you’ve gone around the bend for trying to figure it out, something you’ve cursed and screamed at and given up on and that’s always been your relationship with it—you believe there’s always going to be a part of you that aches when you hear that word, but now you think that maybe fate is just trying to spare one less person from struggling alone, a little more hope for them to hold onto.

You sigh and jump off the top, tiny pebbles skidding from your trainers the moment you land on the ground, and Felix is squinting down at you with a small smile, his hair curling around his face and if there’s anything you’ll thank your lucky stars for, it’s him. Felix Lee. Your light. Your joy.

“Where’re you going?” He calls out the moment you start treading back to your bike, and you throw a smile over your shoulder.

“Taking my soulmate out for ice cream. Now, hurry up—the last one to get there is paying.”