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#half a year. assuming i passed the test i needed to pass and also get into the course i want. i don't know.
40steps · 3 months
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hey i’m a mutual who dropped out in 7th grade and i just want u to know that things will be ok. i’m going back to school this year and like you can just stop either temporarily or permanently. i promise u it will be ok
:((( thank u so much this means a lot to hear . my plan has been to drop out for like two years at this point but i never really expected it to feel this much like a huge change even though it was always going to be. and my mother asked me if i just wanted to drop out when i told her i didn't want to go in today and it's sent me on a downward spiral. sorry for putting this on your dash board whoever is online and whoever saw it.
#ugh whatever sorry these tags r going to be so whiny don't look at them if u dont want to see that.#UGHHHEH its just so much. because at least having the option to have somewhere to go every day even if i never take it has been like.#almost some sort of comfort to me. because i don't want to sit around every day if it's not my choice to be doing so.#but i've never had a job. i don't know how to write a resume i don't know how to answer interview questions i don't know anywhere that#would take me that i can get to on my own since i can't drive. but if i don't get a job. i'll be sitting around broke and miserable until#applications for the course i want open up. and i don't know how to do that. the more i think abt it today the more dropping out feels#like the best option but it doesn't make it feel less like the huge step i know it'll be. i don't have a life without school. it's the only#place i ever see my few irls. it's my one source of human interaction every week. what do i do if it's not there for the next#half a year. assuming i passed the test i needed to pass and also get into the course i want. i don't know.#and everythings in my favour!! everything is going for me!! i have it easier than so many kids at my school!#my mother is a teacher and she gets me so many of the things i need because she knows the system. literally two weeks ago she got it set up#so that i don't have to go to one of my classes because it was making me miserable and i was complaining abt it constantly.#and i just feel bad that all of her effort will have gone to waste? i know she's done everything she can but it still hasn't fixed my#hatred for the school system and i feel so bad. I DONT KNWO WAHT TO DO!!! IM GOING TO KILL MY SELF!!!#whatever what ever. i;m overreacting it's what ever
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weebsinstash · 10 months
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hey, can I have more husband and wife family dynamics with thragg? maybe more about her pregnancy or the kids' childhood/baby time?
Sure can! It's been pretty fun writing about potential scenarios where this monstrous piece of shit can actually feel love. First and foremost I was watching a video on YouTube going over this scene again and uh Comic Readers KNOW How Fucked This Man Is. um, out of context vague spoilers but, I'm assuming people asking about Thragg have read the comics or are curious about the comics but like yall Need To Know how he treats the kids of his enemies
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I feel like I need to share/remind people of this scene because like, this man can be kind of hard to pin down. He's from this loveless society that sees kindness as weakness and he's like King Dickhead but there are still times when he can be quite courteous, even apologetic, sarcastic, whatever. I think at the end of the day he's just a very selfish, explosive, emotionally impulsive man but revisiting this scene was a little surprising for me since I forgot he was even like, capable of "small kindnesses" like saying sorry or whatever. Like. Is him wiping her tears while smearing blood all over her face a well intentioned accident or is he like waging psychological warfare on this like, i think she's literally 5 years old. What is the purpose of him apologizing to a child for splashing blood of her family member on her when he intends to kill her or leave her for dead in front of her dying parents anyways. I'm still trying to get a feel on this man
THAT BEING SAID, moving on, we're talking about a yandere Thragg today and thankfully that comes with perks
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- it's pretty obvious but like, you are his favorite mate and your children are his favorite children. I like to think of concepts with Reader being Ursaal and Onaan's mother or even the previously mentioned triplet idea with Mark being their sibling (otherwise I'd have to invent new characters and that doesn't, resonate the same, and I also really like Ursaal actually and I feel like there's some real story potential in Ursaal discovering more of her humanity through her mother's kindness and wanting to protect her mother from her father)
-can you imagine like. I still think about the idea where you're actually Nolan's mate but one day you mouth off to Thragg and he "puts you in your place" in front of Nolan as a punishment to you both and like a month later you find out you're pregnant and, I imagine abortions are only done on Viltrum if the fetus is too weak or defective, so you're forced to carry it and you and Nolan are lying that it's his and then one day Thragg just, passes by, sees your swelling tummy, takes one sniff of you, "it's mine" and demands a paternity test. And you'd think, "oh surely he'd just take the baby" which is what you'd prefer but, no it becomes a pretext for him to steal you from Nolan altogether
-you're fed incredibly nutrient dense, protein packed, ultimate pregnancy food because Thragg wants those babies as healthy as possible. Thragg has probably had other alien kids before but these are his first hybrid or nearly fully Viltrumite children and that makes them special. New dad Thragg holding up these little absolute mammoths of newborns with all their chunk and pudge and rolls and he's just so proud, "look at how robust these children are! Surely they have inherited my strength! Fine additions to the Viltrum Empire were born on this day" and you're like half awake in bed and he just, pets your hair
-ok just. Ok just picture it like. You're pregnant and upset and so stressed out because you didn't want to be Nolan's mate after he helped conquer Earth but at least you had known him and liked him initially. You're just constantly stressed out and angry and watching every single word you say around Thragg because you don't know him or what he's capable of, but I imagine a sort of scenario where he's taking you to the doctor and running tests and procedures and just, you know prenatal checkup stuff, but the doctors are all speaking to Thragg instead of you, you aren't even being told your own test results, and the two of you finally arrive back home and you just break down crying and kind of tear into him, "I'm sure YOU have had lots of kids before but I'VE never had a baby before and I don't know what to expect or what's going to happen or- or -" and you're just bawling because, it's not a lie you're scared. You're having a baby and you're gonna be a new mom and it's entirely against your will, out of your control, and that's incredibly stressful. And this becomes a moment where Thragg actually shows some humanity by sitting you down and discussing the doctors visit with you, and that's one of the first times the two of you actually have a civil, extended conversation
Thragg thinking he's so fucking big and tough and then he sees you this little fragile fleshy untrained civillian with the big teary boo hoo eyes with your shaking hands on your little belly as you cry about being scared about giving birth to his baby and he's just, "shit I DO have feelings" and immediately feels the overwhelming need to comfort you. He'll comfort you under the guise of "stress isn't good for the children" which is true but, it's him blanketing his own concern and masking it under an excuse
-I kind of feel like that hypothetical event would be like, a footnote in your relationship. He starts treating you differently, attentive in new ways, more... emotional ways. He'll stop by while he's working on a break or something to check on with you and the assigned caretakers he has guarding you (because the very second you're confirmed pregnant you have 24/7 security) and he'll awkwardly grunt out questions about, have you eaten yet, are you experiencing any pain today, any discomfort, any new symptoms. He'll check in with your guards/nannies privately about if there's anything you're doing that he needs to know about, give tou a nice husbandly shoulder touch and then (reluctantly) getting back to work
-to be blunt part of me questions if he even has sex to create children or if he uses something akin to IVF and I only say this because of the absolute ASSEMBLY LINE he sets up on Thraxia. Trust me though he beats the kitty up with you CONSTANTLY
-I actually think after giving birth is like the ONE time you're allowed any birth control because apparently if you have too many pregnancies in too close time frames it actually sucks the calcium out of your bones and can give you osteoarthritis and Thragg wants you healthy, "for more future children obviously" which is such a lie because let's say you have your miracle birth of giving him twins or triplets or whatever but you hemmorage and become infertile or whatever. Mf is STILL keeping you around. When you think about it he technically doesn't even need you to help raise his children, he has people for that, but he forces you to be part of the process anyways
- tbh I kind of like the idea of Thragg developing some weird fucking like complex where he discovers he feels comforted cuddling you, like man gets hit by oxytocin like a fucking freight train, and it becomes him literally being unable to sleep without you in his arms. You could be in a yelling screaming argument with this man and he suddenly like, just completely shuts you down, "ENOUGH!! I require rest and I won't tolerate anymore of your childish whining!" And you could be spitting mad at him and he's just, picking you up just physically picks you up and drags you to bed anyways. Hooks his arms around your waist as the big spoon and buries his face in your hair even as you spit insults about how you hope he kills himself
Like I think I've mentioned this idea with other characters before but imagine Thragg waking up on the middle of the night IMMEDIATELY PISSED because the bed beside him is cold and he finds you on the couch, on the couch, maybe even without blankets and visibly uncomfortable, because yeah he WILL wake you up to drag you back to bed with him.
- Thragg being this warrior who literally watched people be disembowled and tortured and conquered races but suddenly you're in labor and he's in the delivery room (he refuses to wait outside) watching you literally scream in pain and he just, takes your hand and tells you to squeeze, and that it'll be alright, and he sees you so vulnerable and scared and emotional and you're looking to him for some kind of help but he can't, even with all his strengths and feats he can't help you right now, however this pregnancy goes is up to fate and the doctors and he feels like an actual visceral HUMBLING sense of helplessness that just makes him, even more obsessively protective over you
- deadass if it becomes a "he can only save one: you or the children" life-threatening pregnancy scenario, he chooses you. Says you can always try again but even if you wind up infertile and "useless" to him, he's too attached to you at this point, it doesn't matter if you "don't serve a function" or whatever bullshit Viltrumite mindset he may have had with previous mates before. You're different to him, and you're making HIM different as a person
- You're just half alive on the couch because Giving Birth is Hard and here's Thragg doing shit like personally bringing you water, feeling your forehead for any fever, monitoring your condition, aggressively interrogating your guards for extra info, sitting beside you with your babies in his arms. He lets you rest after giving birth and nearly bends over backwards
- I feel like at some point you're forced to accept a lot of real fucked up stuff and especially if you are a hybrid Vultrimite yourself and thus will be with Thragg for, basically forever, like some real "mate, do you have any cravings today. What do the children require" "ummm... at the ceremony last month, there was that... blue, little.... crab thing?" "A Florkian. They are incredibly rare" "oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know-" " -and since I observed that you were fond of the taste when you were consuming them, I went ahead and conquered their homeworld and farms have been established. I can have the slaves prepare a dish for you right away" "oh, thank you, ive been craving it ever since i ate it but i didnt want to bother by asking 🥰" "as your mate it is my duty to provide for you. Do not keep any of your desires from me"
- your children are getting trained as soldiers the second they develop powers and that's something you'll have to get used to. If your little babies get their powers at 5, they're still learning combat, getting knocked around, near beaten, "toughened up". Thragg will conceal the full extent of how they're treated from you because the way he sees it, you weren't raised on Viltrum and you're simply ignorant of their culture. He doesn't need you to accept how things are. Your kids will come home with black eyes and bruises and bloodied noses and he'll growl at you not to make them too soft as you weep over Ursaal missing a chunk of her hair because an opponent grabbed her by it and she had to break away and some was ripped out at her scalp, like. The psychological damage of asking your small child how their day with their father went, "it was excellent mother, I made my first kill!!" And then gleefully describing to you in detail how while their father was fighting an enemy soldier, the soldiers child attacked yours, and, your baby killed another kid. Like. That's the sort of thing you have to be raised with to block out of your heart. Going to hug your child who may not even be 10 years old and they have literal blood on their hands
-personal headcanon but also semi canon but I imagine Ursaal is the most competent of your twins and is Thragg's favorite. She just has a better tactical mind on her shoulders and isn't, uh. As horribly sadistically violent as Onaan. Like say your kids become platonic yandere or whatever, or, you have your own kids with thragg and the twins are separate but still attached to you. Onaan is the kid you find killing cats because he's jealous they get more attention than him while Ursaal is like, giving her father incredibly detailed reports and her own insight into what you've been up to, how you're feelings, things you say and do when Thragg isn't around
-so I know y'all see that image I posted with Thragg and his twins. I tried to censor, The Cape last time but I realized like, even with censoring the head it's still super obvious who that is, there's only one white furred creature in this entire show. I imagine after Thragg gets his Beast Drip that, once Throkk's daughter comes for revenge, she is also slaughtered, and her pelt becomes YOUR cape. Or maybe Thragg offhandedly mentions to you that BB Jr has vowed vengeance and you're casually flipping through a book, "is she as strong as her father, like if you had to rate it 1 to 10 with her father being 10 and 1 being a human. If the daughter is at about a 7 or below, Ursaal should be able to handle her, get herself a nice coat to match her father" and Thragg feels this warmth in his chest to hear you're actually observant of his/your children and their prowess, especially to hear you praise Ursaal in such a uh violent context, just casually suggesting his daughter could turn another sentient humanoid creature into a pelt to wear. This is another example of "living the viltrum life will eventually dehumanize you and rob you of certain empathies"
- I don't think you would actually have a title but could you imagine if Thragg decides you're like, officially his true mate, like the mate above all others, like you're the Empress in his little harem of concubines and ladies in waiting. I hc that your official title is something like Grand Duchess or perhaps if this is the twin/triplet scenario something more vaguely historical sounding like The High Mother or Regent Mother or, you get the point
-I still think "Reader turns out to be an incredibly late blooming hybrid" is a neat concept but I also don't know how they would miss that since during your pregnancy and all you're receiving medical care out the ass but like. Thragg personally training both you and the children as a family. Would be kind of humiliating honestly because it's kind of vaguely implied you should learn things before the kids do and if you struggle, here's Thragg, telling his kids in private they have to protect you and keep an eye on you and report any problems back to him
- thragg would definitely be training you in hand to hand but suddenly finds he can't bear hitting you in the face or hitting you at a certain strength. Like. Absolutely 100% you're gonna have a lot of scenarios where you're brawling or wrestling and he pins you and it swiftly transitions to you getting rawdogged from your high on adrenaline husband. Tbh that sex would probably be his favorite, where he has to defeat you in combat and then rewards himself. Can probably border from hatesex to consensual to noncon, not that he has a problem doing THAT to you either
- probably has portraits done of you and him. Idk do you think Viltrum has like enough art culture for portraits to be a thing? Most fascist tyrants have portraits. He would have several done: you and him, just you, you while pregnant, him and you while pregnant, you holding your babies, you and him holding your babies, and family shots as they grow up. Say you conquer a planet together as a family and one day you're revisiting and there's some sort of museum set up amd you find like a wall length portrait of, you and your children soaked in blood tearing carnage through the fire and flames and Thragg is beside you just nodding in approval, "they captured your image rather well"
- goooooddddd imagine you're just a normal human and you progressively start showing signs of aging. You start getting more wrinkles. Your body starts working in different ways, popping, cracking, aching. Onaan, Ursaal, and Thragg all notice and they're like FREAKING OUT HONESTLY. The children don't want to accept that their mother is actually going to be a speck on the timeline of their entire lifespans. Thragg doesn't want to accept that he has to let you go and you're never coming back. They all become obsessed with finding ways to keep you young, keep you alive, fuck it they'll clone you and transfer your consciousness into a new body if they have to! This is comic book world and these are obsessed aliens and they have OPTIONS
- something something "what if Reader isn't a viltrumite hybrid but is still like super-powered or a mutant or whatever and this isn't revealed until you like are fatally injured or even DIE die and suddenly you, pop back up". Cause I feel like this "close call" would drive any yandere literally insane because, what if there's no second chance, what just happened, can you still die, they can never never never never never allow you to get hurt ever ever ever again
Thragg just walks into the kitchen and you have the stove top red hot and you've just got your palm resting on it and you look to him kind of just shocked, all, "look... nothing happens... I just feel some of the warmth" and Thragg just puts his fist through your oven anyways, "you could've gotten hurt" and immediately picking you up and carrying you to some sort of perceived "safer place"
- this is like a specific scenario but like, can you imagine as a mom you like to brush and comb Ursaal's hair and you idly suggest she could always grow it out more and you could help braid it and things, but once it starts getting longer Thragg objects and says it could get grabbed during a fight and orders her to cut it but you step in and say she shouldnt have to, it's HER hair, and you two get into it, and one day Ursaal is brought home by her father and he's all but shaved her head after she had actually grown it out to a decent length. You and Thragg are at odds over how to treat rhe children and Ursaal begins to realize that many of the restrictions her father instills on her are because of a way of life she may not fully agree with, a life filled with violence and bloodshed with no room for love or kindness or creativity. She probably helps you from going over the edge too, honestly. If anything else through this life with Thragg, in your darkest places you may still find yourself thinking you have to keep going to try and help your children
- with others, Thragg is the kind of yandere where he's standing in the same room as you and you're both doing completely different things and he suddenly says, "so I noticed during the meeting that your eyes kept lingering on my mate" and without further warning he's beating up someone on the accusation they were lusting for his wife, no discussion, just fists , and he'll do shit like this a lot to the point people don't feel comfortable being around you and you're just further socially isolated
- I feel like Thragg would have some weird like fondness slash fetish for watching you breastfeed. Like, awww here's his cute little wife with his chubby little babies and you're giving them their nice milk, what a good mom, providing for the babies he put in your belly ❤️ part of me is convinced if you're a viltrumite or hybrid or whatever that you uh. Eventually wind up with a lot of babies. A LOT of babies. Do you think he would want a specific amount or its just vibes. Like you're over 300 years old and you've already got 50 kids with him but he sees you teaching one of your youngest sons how to throw a punch and suddenly he wants another
- all I'm saying is if he ever catches you self harming or attempting to hurt yourself he's gonna have a real extreme reaction. Like he finds you cutting yourself with a broken glass and you're immediately restrained and taken to a hospital, completely stripped, inspected for other wounds, and if there are any and especially a lengthy history of them, you're in such trouble. But I also think it would be extremely difficult to hide this from him since as time goes on you two are constantly having sex or he's inviting himself into your shower to bathe with you. You accidentally bang your arm on a counter or something and get a tiny bruise, this man will know about it and wants a detailed report on where it came from
- even when you guys aren't super familiar with each other and you've "just met" he's already protective and all that. Like you've just been brought into his home and you barely even know him still and he may even act mean and angry to you and then one day he sees you have a large bruise on your arm, "what is this?" ".... it's nothing, Grand Regent" "I asked you a question and you'll answer me: where did this come from" "... I spoke out of turn with one of your advisors and turned to leave without permission, Grand Regent" "And so they grabbed you?" "Yes Grand Regent" "who" "it was my fault, I-" "WHO" and the second you give a name or description he's wordlessly leaving the room and shows up again HOURS later with visible blood on him, "it has been handled. You are not to be harmed or punished without my permission or instruction"
- in some scenario where you leave the kids behind and try to run away, like... he isn't just gonna throw up his hands, "well I already got children out of her, she has served her purpose" and leave you the fuck alone. If anything this man would track you down just to tell you off for having the fucking nerve to disobey and defy him! I can picture an actively captured wife where you are constantly kept on some kind of restraint or have a bracelet or collar or even a LEAD THAT HE HOLDS and you're IMPRISONED rather than "I'm being monitored but otherwise I have my own agency". Thragg will make himself a throne that you can be chained to if he has to. He'll have restraints made that are decorative and complimentary of your features. Imagine he's making some sort of public appearance and while he's speaking he's got an arm around your waist and you're pulled up against him and meanwhile you've got. A bar gag and cannot speak
- really, truly, in a way, you become a symbol, but one of all different kinds. There are Viltrumites who see how their mighty Grand Regent treats his mate and they are viscerally disgusted (Kregg and Lucan comes to mind), like people who really start to question the society they are living in, questioning if it really must be so selfish and devoid of empathy, questioning if they really want to keep living this way and for their children and their children's children to live like this. Then there are others who see the way the Grand Regent controls his mate and see its as a sign of strength and permission to treat their own mates the same.
Mostly, though... the only thing that will take you away from Thragg is death. Until the day one of you dies, you're stuck with him, and there's basically no one around who's stronger than he is, period. You might as well cozy up and get friendly with your new husband, since you're going to be together for a long time and spend lots, and lots, and LOTS of time together ❤️
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imawkwardlysoc · 2 years
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you wonder how he got his call sign
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Song: Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift
Paring: mickey garcia x reader (afab)
Warning(s): None, just pure fluff!
Word Count: 2,767
Summary: A little story on how Mickey got his call sign.
Call signs. No matter if you’re in the Marines, Navy, or Air Force, you get a call sign. Some badass ones like Iceman and Maverick may have a cool background if you assume, but in reality, most of them come from pretty embarrassing things. Like Payback for example and the amount of bets that he lost. Mickey “Fanboy” Garcia, on the other hand, has another story.
The first of artists covering other artists' songs first came out in the 1950s. Soon over half a decade later, cover videos started to come out more on YouTube. Singers like Sam Tsui, Christina Grimmie, Conor Maynard, and many others have risen to fame with their covers coming out in the late 2000s/early 2010s. Some have also got the chance to be signed to record labels and winning awards like Y/N L/N. To Mickey though, he doesn’t think of Grammy Award winner Y/N L/N, he thinks of Y/N L/N who he used to help record her cover videos in her bedroom or the backyard of her house.
Every Friday since meeting each other freshman year of high school, Y/N would drag Mickey out of their last period class and out of their high school in Miami to her house to start recording cover videos. As she uploaded her videos onto YouTube, her views went from a few hundred to a few thousand until one day.
“Mickey! Mickey!” The junior yelled her best friend’s name as she ran down the school hallway. “Where are you?”
“Yo! What’s going on?” Mickey closed his locker after grabbing everything he needed.
He turned to face the singer whose face was all red from the running as the screen of her BlackBerry Bold was in his line of sight. Squinting his eyes a little, he looked at the screen which showed one of the recent covers she uploaded.
“Holy shit!” He exclaimed. “One hundred thousand?”
“I know right!” The two of them started to jump together in celebration, ignoring the looks they’re getting.
“This is crazy!” Y/N said, still not believing that her cover of Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood reached that many views.
“You know what this means?” Mickey’s eyebrow was raised. “The chance of you getting signed to a record label.”
“Yeah, not happening,” Y/N let out a laugh. “Never in a million years.”
“Hey,” he gently squeezed her shoulder. “It’s going to happen. I have a good feeling.”
Y/N shook her head at her friend’s nonsense and dragged him to their first class of the day.
Years passed and their friendship grew even more. They shared homecoming and prom dances together. They had many all nighters studying for the AP tests they signed up for and working on college applications. The both of them dated people but their relationships only lasted for three to four months max because they both were missing something. Mickey still continued to help Y/N post her covers on her channel which grew after that one day.
Towards the end of the summer break after they graduated, the duo had to head their separate ways for college. They still kept in contact though by the emails they sent each other and visiting each other in Miami during breaks. With every visit, their feelings grew more without them realizing it.
Mickey had achieved his dream of getting into the Naval Academy and became a weapons system officer, getting the callsign Fanboy from his classmates seeing him geek out and watch Y/N’s covers. Y/N continued uploading her covers onto YouTube while studying literature at the University of Miami. It wasn’t until her senior year of college she got the best news of her life.
The sound of her sandals slapping the concrete sidewalk boomed as she ran down the concrete path which led to the park her and Mickey would sometimes hang out at. With his back facing against her, she leaped on his back which took Mickey out a little.
“Hey, you missed me that much?” Mickey laughed.
“Yeah, but I have some news,” Y/N answered.
“Which is?” He asked.
She didn’t verbally answer but she handed him the small stack of papers. Going through the papers, she saw the look on Mickey’s face as his face lit up with each page.
“No, you’re joking.” Mickey pulled her into a hug.
“I’m not,” she confirmed. “You’re looking at the newest artist signed with Atlantic Records.”
“You’re not going to forget me when you become famous right?” Mickey joked.
“Are you kidding? I won’t forget my best friend.” Y/N lightly punched his shoulder.
“Yeah, best friend,” Mickey sighed.
“What? Are you okay?” A quizzed look formed on her face.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Mickey brushed off his emotions.
“Hey Mick, tell me what’s up.” Y/N held his hand which sent sparks through the both of them.
“You’re going to hate me when I do this,” he said.
“Do wh-” Y/N was interrupted when Mickey’s lips touched hers.
Butterflies and fireworks exploded inside them as their lips moved in sync. Detaching their lips from each other to catch their breath, they looked each other in the eyes questioning what just happened.
“Did that just?”
“Yeah.”
Kissing each other again, they confirmed that their feelings for each other were true. After the second kiss, Mickey decided to take Y/N for an early dinner to celebrate her getting a record deal and have a pre-first date date.
More years have passed with the both of them graduating with their degrees. Their relationship grew more as they became official. Mickey was out doing the five years required to serve after he graduated after the academy. Y/N on the other hand was busy writing and recording her first album. Constant filming for her music videos and traveling to promote her album.
Despite them being hundreds or thousands of miles apart, they managed to keep their relationship alive. They had many video calls together and if she toured in an area where Mickey was at, he would watch her concerts with Reuben “Payback” Finch, who is the only person that knows her and Mickey are together other than close friends and family. When Y/N started to become more well known, she wanted to keep her personal life private. She did post pictures of her and Mickey together on her social media accounts but they didn’t show Mickey’s face.
On the eve of Mickey’s last deployment, she came back home with the living room of their shared house decorated with flowers and lit candles. In the space where their coffee table used to be, Mickey was on one knee holding a velvet box in his hand. With a short and sweet speech as tears ran down their faces, Y/N nodded her head saying yes to his proposal. A few months after Mickey came back from his deployment, the two had a small private ceremony with their close friends and family in a cabin up in the Santa Cruz mountains. Reuben as Mickey’s best man and Y/N’s college roommate as her maid of honor.
Luckily for Y/N, she could travel and stay anywhere with her job. With Mickey being moved from base to base because of his job, she would follow him while still making music while renting a house off base. From time to time she would have to travel and stay in New York for a little bit for meetings and to record her music. Thankfully when Mickey got called back to Top Gun, they resided permanently in a house that was only a fifteen minute drive away from base after the Dagger Squadron was made permanent in San Diego. Many dinners with her, Mickey, and Reuben were shared as they told stories of the other squadron members they met for the mission. Y/N continued to make music and released her next album which caused her to be away from Mickey to promote it and tour around Europe and North America.
After a day of training, the Dagger Squad decided to head to the Hard Deck for some drinks.
“Amelia has been depressed since the LA tickets for Y/N sold out,” Rooster said before taking a sip of his beer.
“Really?” Mickey raised his eyebrow.
“Yeah, Y/N is one of her favorite singers. Ever since those tickets sold out the first day, she’s been blasting her music in her room and headphones,” the aviator answered.
The WSO nodded his head and excused himself. Taking his phone out, he checked the time to see that Y/N wasn’t on stage yet. Calling her and waiting for a few rings, she answered her husband’s call.
“Hey baby, what’s up?” She asked. “How was work?”
“It was good, got our asses handed by Maverick but that’s normal,” he chuckled. “How are you?”
“I’m good, just two hours before we head onto stage,” she replied. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, but hey can I ask for a favor?” He asked.
“What is it?” She said.
“You know Rooster right?” Y/N hummed in confirmation. “Well, his little sister wants to see you in LA but the tickets sold out immediately. Is there any way you can get a ticket for her?”
“I’ll check, give me a minute,” she told him. “Stay on the line.”
Taking a sip of his drink, he waited for his wife while admiring the cooling winds of San Diego while the sun setted.
“Hey, you’re still there?” Y/N voice popped into his ear.
“Yeah, so what’s the verdict?” He replied, mentally crossing his fingers.
“Yeah, how many tickets do you need?” The singer asked. “Twelve plus your captain, his girlfriend, and daughter, that would be fifteen. Is that good?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, we have more than enough tickets. Just tell everyone and I’ll send you the info. Also, all of y’all need a break from training.”
“Wow, I’ll tell everyone. Thank you for doing this. I love you.”
“I love you too. You can thank me later when you get to LA.” Mickey could already imagine the smirk on his wife’s face.
Hanging up the phone with a grin on his face, Mickey headed back into the bar and stood next to Rooster.
“I managed to get a ticket for Amelia,” he told the pilot.
“Wait, how?” The pilot questioned.
“I know someone who’s one of the guitar techs on her tour. I managed to get all of us plus Maverick and Penny a ticket,” he told everyone.
“Wait, we’re seeing Y/N in LA?” Phoenix started to fangirl a little. “Don’t mess with me Fanboy.”
“I’m not, I’ll text you the information into the group chat,” he confirmed.
“We’re going to see Y/N baby!” Coyote cheered.
While everyone celebrated, Reuben sent his WSO a smirk knowing who gave them the tickets.
*Concert Day*
“Mick, are you sure we’re supposed to park here?” Maverick asked as he got out of Rooster’s Bronco.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Mickey answered his captain.
“Because we’re by where Y/N L/N’s tour bus is,” Rooster added.
“Trust me, we can be here,” Mickey reassured them while pulling out his phone.
Making the call, they waited for a few more minutes before Y/N’s manager came out of the Forum with VIP passes in hand. Mickey greeted the manager and they handed Mickey the passes. All of the members were shocked when they saw the passes they got, questioning how Mickey managed to get these. All of them thought they were getting tickets up in the nosebleeds, but they were mistaken.
“Mickey!” The singer jumped into her husband’s arms when she saw him.
“Hello my love,” the Navy man mumbled before kissing her.
Everyone except for Reuben was shocked at the sight they were seeing. They couldn’t believe that one of their WSO’s was kissing the singer they would soberly and drunkenly sing out the lyrics while doing karaoke.
“I missed you,” the singer wrapped her arms around Mickey’s neck.
“Me too, four weeks is too long.” Mickey moved a strand of hair out of Y/N’s face. “Everyone’s here already.”
Y/N moved away from Mickey and saw his pilot standing there with a grin on his face. “Ru-Ru, it’s good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you again too,” the pilot returned her hug.
Letting go of the hug, Y/N looked at the rest of her husband’s squadron who had shocked expressions on their faces. “Hi, you must be Mickey’s squadron and you must be Amelia, is that right?”
“Y-Yeah,” Amelia stuttered as her idol stood in front of her.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Y/N smiled at her and looked at Maverick who stood behind her. “You must be Captain Mitchell. Mickey and Reuben have been telling me great things about you.”
“It’s a pleasure meeting you m’am. Thank you for inviting us,” Maverick said.
“Anything for Mickey's adopted family,” Y/N smiled. “Also, call me Y/N.”
“I will if you call me Pete or Maverick,” Pete smiled.
“That’s a deal,” Y/N chuckled and faced the squad again. “Mickey, wanna introduce me to your team members?”
Mickey nodded his head and introduced his wife to the rest of the Dagger Squad. After the introductions, everyone headed to the greenroom.
“So, you’re telling me that Reuben knew that Fanboy over here is dating Y/N?” Hangman asked. “The same Y/N who won a Grammy and many Billboard Music awards?”
“Not dating, we’re married,” Y/N corrected the Texan.
“What!” Everyone yelled/exclaimed.
“Married for almost five years.” Mickey and Y/N looked at each other in admiration.
“You knew that already didn’t you?” Halo asked Reuben.
“He should, he was my best man,” Mickey answered for his pilot. “Also, who do you think Don’t Blame Me is about?”
“And I thought Bob over here had secrets we don’t know about,” Omaha chuckled.
“Nah, she’s the only secret that I have.” Mickey tenderly pressed his lips onto his wife’s.
Soon after that, the topic of conversation changed, promising them the couple would host dinner to get to know Y/N more.
After spending an hour or so in the greenroom, Y/N had to start getting ready for the show. Giving his wife one last kiss, he met up with the squad following one of the assistants to the VIP booth Y/N set them in. The booth provided food, snacks, and drinks for them while giving them a view close to the stage.
The lights in the venue started to dim down as the crowd’s cheers started to rise. The band started playing the introduction and the cheers from the audience elevated as Y/N rose into the stage.
Throughout the concert, the energy was amazing. Everyone was screaming and jamming out to the lyrics. All of the Dagger Squad and Penny and Amelia were enjoying the time they were having and thanking Mickey for the tickets. Mickey was pretty sure he saw Hangman and Coyote doing the choreography to I Did Something Bad.
“Alright, before we do this next song, how is everyone doing?” Y/N asked the audience as they replied with cheers. “That’s good. Fun fact, the person that I wrote this next song about is in the crowd tonight with his friends. This song is dedicated to him. Love you darling.”
Y/N sent him a wink and he winked back at her. The band started to play Don’t Blame me and everyone was taken to church by the way she performed it. The singer got down on her knees, belting out the high note which caused Mickey to form a proud smile on his face.
After a few songs and the encore, the last show of the tour was finished. Mickey and the gang headed backstage to see Y/N in a pair of sweat shorts and one of Mickey’s old t-shirts.
“You were amazing.” Mickey picked her up and spun her around.
“Thanks,” she laughed. “So, what did you guys think?”
Everyone started to compliment her performance at the same time. Y/N blushed because she wasn’t used to compliments they were giving her and let out a laugh.
“So, instead of driving back to San Diego this late, my producer is out of town and allowed us to use her house to sleepover,” Y/N told them. “What do y’all think?”
Everyone nodded their heads in approval and started to leave the venue.
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gx-gameon · 4 months
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Okay but Aknamkanon being involved in Jaden’s school life sounds hilarious.
I am picturing Jaden setting up a small shrine for his grandpa and the others in the Field of Reeds in the Slifer Duel Arena/Dojo (later moving it to the lounge area Chazz builds). He talks to it when he feels like he needs to talk out a problem he feels is too awkward to ask his parents or living family members. Others start doing it too because of homesickness or not having a good relationship with their parents.
Aknamkanon wants to show support to Jaden and his friends but he isn’t in the position to give out old people candy. Instead, he sends cards.
Alexis: Check these out!
Zane: Alexis, what are those?
Alexis: They are called Dryton. It’s a Ritual based archetype that came with some good support! Jaden’s grandfather gave them to me!
Zane: Jaden’s dead grandfather gave you an entire deck of ritual monsters plus support because you talked to his memorial?
Alexis: I’m keeping them. Even if I can’t find a way to use half of them, I’m keeping them.
I do love this, I don’t think it’s cannon but I do love this.
Jaden having to explain who the shrine is to without saying. “My grandfather who is also an ancient pharaoh.”
I know I joked about him having powers but I don’t think Aknamkanon would have any big influence. But sending cards is amazing. He’s putting that spiritual court to work!! Getting them to find duel spirit archetypes and being like “so theirs a kid I think you would work really well with.”
I also love that Jaden just goes and tells his grandfather all of his problems. He probably grew up going to Solomon whenever he didn’t want to go to his dads or uncles/aunts but now being away at duel academy he doesn’t want to call Solomon and start a whole hullabaloo. So he talks to the grandfather who can’t gossip with the rest of the family.
Little monster spirits always find there way to Jaden after one of those talks. Just little cuddly guys that aren’t great in a duel but great for cuddling in the dream scape.
Jaden’s friends see Jaden talking to his grandfather and just assume they were really close and Jaden always talks about how nice it is to just get things done off his chest and talk to someone he knows is listening.
And one day Syrus is really stressed about a test and he’s pacing the room and then he spots the shrine. What harm could it do. He ends up talking to the shrine and then having a full break down about all of his fears and insecurities to Jaden’s dead grandfather. Jaden’s right it is nice to just let it all out. But he doesn’t think anyone is listening until a new Roid car appears. One with the exact ability he needs to pass his practical exam. He hadn’t told anyone about needing this except the shrine.
He tells everyone. ‘Jaden’s grandfather was listening and he sent me this card’
Slowly other members of the group start to talk to Aknamkanon. It’s starts as superstition and prayers for exams but then Chazz finally talks to him and tells him all about his brothers who are being real big jerks right now. He just lets it all out. Everything he doesn’t want to tell his friends. He wakes up the next morning to a brand new deck with a new archetype. Is this what having a grandfather is like????
Yes what you wrote about Alexis absolutely happened. ‘Look at my new cards Zane!!!’ Zane thinks they are all crazy but a chance for new cards isn’t one he’s going to pass up.
It’s tradition by the time the second year rolls around. If you just need to vent and feel like a family member cares you go to sit at Jaden’s Grandfather’s shrine.
Aknamkanon loves it. He has so many new grandchildren. Of course Jaden is the favorite. He is the unmovable first place. But his friends definitely get spiritually adopted
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gayf1hoe · 1 month
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Part 1
As I sit down with my bowl of cereal I begin to open my laptop and see an abundance of emails that I have ignored over the course of the past few weeks, because I've been having a full media and work detox.
As the emails load I see the latest email is from Gunther so I decide I best not ignore it otherwise if I ignore it like I did when I first joined the team he will give me a lecture about how rude it is to ignore emails. Opening it I scan it with my eyes whilst spooning my cereal into my mouth. I read that Gunther has called for a meeting for today which isn't much of a surprise given it's only a few weeks until pre-season testing and I don't even know who my teammate is. After last season I need a good teammate. Nikita was a great person but a terrible teammate. It was like Haas had only one driver driving for them because he spent half of his time spinning off the track or going into the wall so this year I need a teammate who will be able to score points alongside me.
I continue scrolling through the emails and curse myself for putting myself in this position, when people say F1 drivers just drive a car they are so wrong. They should try keeping up with all the emails and brand deals we have to do.
I finish my breakfast and quickly jump in the shower and dig out an outfit from my draws that are more than due a clear out but that's very far down on my very long to do list that never seems to be fully complete.
I double check I have everything before shutting the door to my apartment and heading to the factory where the meeting is, thankfully it isn't far away as when I joined Haas I bought an apartment close to the factory and moved.
As I approach the entrance I am handed my ID pass and make my way to Guenther's office. The building has become like a second home to me, in fact I have probably spent more time here in the past 2 years than I have at home, it's full of loads of Haas memorabilia such as the burnt Halo that saved Grosejans life, or the chassis of previous cars. Unfortunately the trophy cabinet isn't as grand or as full as Red Bull's or Ferrari's but it still displays the team's short history.
Eventually after greeting everyone who I haven't seen for a few months I reach the door of Gunther's office and confidently knock and wait for a response from within, it doesn't take long for him to say "come in".
Whilst he is my team principal he is also like a father figure to me and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss his dry humour and constant use of profane langauge over the course of the break.
I take a seat opposite him and see that there is another chair next to me so I assume someone else will be joining us shortly. We take a brief moment to catch up after the break and we discuss what we did and he asks if my swearing is under control yet. As last year every team radio and interview I almost certainly used a swear word, although I don't think he has much room to talk.
I could tell how stressed he was last year having Nikita crashing his car every 5 seconds, Dimitry threatening to pull out the Uralkali sponsor and having 2 rookies on his team was never going to be easy but I don't think he envisaged it being that hard, last year Haas managed to get 112 points all of which came from me so by the end of the year I was very burnt out and spent the entire break doing absolutely nothing.
The conversation bounces back and forth until there is a knock on the door causing silence to hit the room, Gunther goes over to the door and greets who ever is there but I can't see or hear who it is until Gunther moves out the way and motions to the chair, causing me to stand up and prepare to shake the person's hand what I didn't expect was to see that my new teammate was Carlos Sainz.
I knew Carlos was out of a seat this year, with much controversy behind it. I just never would have expected him to come to Haas, it's not that I'm unhappy with the team choosing him but he's going from one of the top teams to a team that is struggling to stay in the fight to be a midfielder.
Another reason I'm stood in silence is because well, Carlos is gorgeous there is no denying that and his natural charm makes him irresistible. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Gunther repeatedly saying my name until I turn my head towards him and he then motions with his head for me to shake his hand. I shake his hand, make eye contact with him and say hello.
We both take a seat and Gunther walks around to his side of the desk, it kind of feels like you've been called to the Principal's office, even if you know you have done nothing wrong there is always nerves in your stomach.
"So Y/N if you can't tell by now Carlos is your new teammate" Gunther says in his typical blunt tone that makes me smile.
"Yes I had gathered that much Gunther"
We spend ages talking about media and contracts but it's more focused on informing Carlos on how the team works and what the expectations are although I can only assume they are a lot lower compared to Ferrari.
We are doing pre-season testing and revealing the livery in 2 weeks time so there are a lot of things to sort out in a short period of time. But after the meeting Gunther lets us go to lunch and it provides me and Carlos with an opportunity to get to know each other. before we go into the simulator for practice.
The lunch hall is quite full as the preparations for the next season are very much in full swing and with MoneyGram being the new sponsor there is a lot to change, I wish I could say I will miss having Nikita as a teammate but his father and Uralkali made my first season and absolute nightmare constantly accusing me of having a different or better car to Mazepin, I can't even begin count how many times my car was inspected by the FIA last year.
We collect our food and head to a quiet conference room as the dining hall is flooded by engineers, designers and loads of other staff that makes it barely possible to actually hear anyone. We eventually reach a quiet conference room and place our lunch down at the table before sitting down. For the initial 10 minutes we are just sat in silence before I'm the one to ask the first question.
"So why Haas, you must have been pretty desperate for that F1 seat? I say trying to break the silence with some humour.
"No, I wanted a team that would challenge me and I thought you would make a great teammate" as he finishes his sentence I have to look down because I can feel my cheeks blushing bright red like I've just seen my high-school crush.
He has great charisma, humour and looks and he is an extremely talented driver, the polar opposite to my previous teammate so I am elated at the fact he is my team mate although I'm sure my attraction to him will at some point cause a predicament that will arouse drama for us and the team. I can't help but admire him from the opposing side of the table, I probably look obsessed right now - but maybe that's an accurate description.
Throughout lunch we get to know each other more and more. He speaks about what it was like to have Charles as a teammate and I speak about what it was like to have Nikita as a teammate and I think I win at having the more Interesting stories.
But no sooner than lunch had started we have to go and do testing in the simulator which is an all too common thing in preparing for the season however I have never been a fan of simulators I don't feel they give the proper experience and plus 20 to 30 years ago there was no such thing as simulator testing and the drivers managed just as well. Me and Carlos go to separate rooms for the simulator tests and after we have to get our seats moulded so we don't see eachother until about 5 PM when we are allowed to go back home.
Unlike Carlos I live near the factory however he still lives in Spain so he's renting a hotel room. When we meet in the lobby I suggest we go for dinner at a nearby restaurant I know well and he agrees. We both head to my Audi and take a seat, "nice car" he compliments as he buckles his seat belt. We begin driving and in typical England fashion it starts to rain and the sound of rain pelting against the metal is a sound that feels the air of silence. But eventually Carlos sparks a conversation between us that is more personal and detached from racing.
"So do you have a partner?" He asks "nope, painfully single and probably will be forever" I reply further questioning "What about you?".
"Same, still single" he replies, "but sure someone with your good looks would be able to find someone" I instantly regret saying that it sounds like I'm hitting on him and he can clearly tell that I'm embarrassed.
"No need to feel shy, I am very honoured that you think I'm good-looking" whilst his response calms me, I still can't help but feel a little embarrassed still.
Shortly after making a fool of myself we pull into the parking bay of the restaurant and step out into the rain. We hastily rush into the restaurant taking refuge from the rain and are guided to our table by the waiter I know very well.
We are sitting down at the table and the waiter comes by again, "Now Y/N will it be the usual" he says whilst placing his hand on my shoulder, Carlos quickly averts his attention away from us and back to the menu after he's finished taking our orders Carlos comments on his behaviour.
"He's very touchy don't you think, maybe he likes you"
I laugh at his comment, "please I know his mother and he's so not my type"
"Well what is your type?" He presses on.
"The complete opposite of him" I state trying to give as little away as possible.
"Anyway, what's your type?" I ask, trying to deflect.
"Well I don't have a specific type I'm open to all kinds of people" He answers and as he finishes our food comes out putting an abrupt end to that conversation.
Over the course of dinner we talk about the plans for the forthcoming weeks and what the reaction is going to be like when everyone finds out that he's going to be driving for Haas. I can't lie, I can't wait to see the out roar of disappointment when they find out Carlos Sainz, one of the best drivers on the grid is in a Haas. I bet it's an image some can't even begin to imagine.
After dinner I drive Carlos back to his hotel which isn't too far from the restaurant and as I am about to drive off he invites me in.
"Hey, do you want to come in for a glass of wine?" He asks whilst undoing his seat belt.
"I can't, I'm driving" I say.
"Well you can just stay the night", I think about it momentarily and agree to come in. I quickly park the car and walk into the hotel with Carlos.
When we reach his room he quickly digs around in his pocket and pulls out his key card and opens the door. His room is more grand and well decorated than my own apartment and it's fixtures are more extravagant than anything I had ever seen.
Carlos walks over to the mini bar and pours two glasses of red wine and hands me one as I'm walking over to take a seat. I take a moment to admire the rest of the room, and wonder where Haas found the money in the budget for such a nice hotel.
We continue talking about our F1 careers and whilst mine is only 2 seasons old his is much more interesting than mine. We also talk about our personal lives, friends, family, relationships, hobbies and soon one glass of wine turns into a whole bottle.
Whilst I'm not drunk I'm certainly a little tipsy and probably not in the right mind frame to drive or walk home so I decide to take Carlos' offer of staying the night so I quickly get changed into some shorts and a t- shirt Carlos had given me and climb into the bed. Yes it's a little weird sharing the bed with my new team mate but I have known Carlos since last year so I guess it's not that bad.
A little after I had gotten into the bed Carlos comes out of the bathroom and gets into the bed next to me and turns the TV on.
"What do you want to watch?" He asks.
"I don't mind," I respond.
Shortly after he picks a TV show I drift off to sleep and don't really remember much.
Waking up in the morning I feel a headache and a slight hangover sweep over me. I hadn't had a single alcoholic drink since the last race of the season so it hit me pretty hard.
With my eyes feeling extremely sensitive the slight slither of light that bypasses the blinds peirces into my eyes causing me to let out an audible groan that causes Carlos to wake up.
"Are you ok?" He asks.
"Aside from a banging headache I should be fine" I say, pulling myself out of the bed and walking over to his table where there is a pair of sunglasses and putting them on to reduce the strain on my eyes.
I walk into the bathroom and have a shower all whilst keeping the sunglasses on my headache only seems to intensify as time passes.
I get changed in the bedroom whilst Carlos has a shower and we have to be at the factory in less than an hour so I only manage to have an apple and a glass of water for my breakfast and due to my headache I can't drive, so I entrust Carlos with my most expensive possession and pray he doesn't have an accident, but as he is an ex Ferrari driver I have faith in his competence and driving ability.
Although Carlos is a good driver I don't think he understands the speed limit is a limit and not a target and I'm sure when I go home there will be a speeding ticket in the post. However we do arrive much earlier than expected so I guess that's a positive. As we walk into the factory the smell of automotive oil is a smell that doesn't help my hangover at all.
We are left standing around for about 5 minutes before the head of Technical Engineering arrives and tells us what we are doing today, not before he questions me.
"Y/N is there a reason why you are wearing sunglasses indoors when it is winter?".
"I've got a little headache" I reply but he already knows.
"As long as your hangover doesn't impact your performance today I will look past it" he says unlocking the doors to the simulators.
Today is the day that Haas will announce that Carlos is joining the team and we have been informed we are filming a short video which will cause many people to have the shock of their lives.
3 hours of my day is spent in the simulator running through every single setting the car has and the different types of balance settings the car has. It's quite boring but it's also important.
The media manager comes by and pulls me and Carlos out to film the video and we have to do so many retakes because we can't stop laughing and I keep on saying "Uralkali Haas" instead of "MoneyGram Haas" but the final result doesn't show how many times we had to go through it.
"Hi guys my name is Y/N L/N, and I'm Carlos Sainz and we are the drivers for MoneyGram Haas F1 Team"
The team are then going to take that speech and make a promo using photos of me and Carlos in the sim and in our race suits and by 2 PM the video is out and the Internet is going wild especially the other drivers who had no idea Carlos was going to Haas.
I get a text message from George who knows about my slight crush on Carlos and says:
"Don't get too carried away" I laugh at his message and Carlos asks what I'm laughing at but I just say it's a meme, and technically I'm not lying because I am talking to the most meme-able man ever.
Over the course of the next hour the media is going absolutely berserk. They never saw this coming and quite frankly I can't blame them because I didn't either and I don't think Gunther expected Carlos to actually say yes.
Mid way through scrolling through the comments Carlos comes over and says, "I'm going out for dinner tonight with Lando, George and Alex and they told me to tell you that you are also invited" I thank him for telling me and I get back to doing some admin tasks to pass time and clear things off my extensive to-do list.
As the day progresses my hangover eases off and I manage to cope without wearing sunglasses and I vow to myself that I'm not going to drink for a few weeks, but these self promises never seem to stick.
I'm sitting in one of the conference rooms meticulously reading through emails, rules and regulation changes, and other miscellaneous things like sponsorship information. It's all quite banal and mundane but I'm in a great flow and manage to read most of the stuff that I had been tasked with so it should make Gunther and the management team very happy, last year I didn't really make an effort and didn't fully comprehend all the rules and may have accidentally touched Zhou's Rear wing in parc ferme and it was a costly mistake that resulted in me being shouted at by Gunther like a school child.
I decide that I have read enough for one day so I decide to collect my belongings and head down to the reception area to wait for Carlos. He is taking a while so I begin to pace up and down admiring the past cars that are on display showcasing the history of Haas, but eventually Carlos does turn up.
"Sorry I'm late, Gunther was lecturing me" he says sincerely.
"It's fine he does that often" I say putting my coat on and removing my keys from my pocket.
"So what restaurant are we going to?" I add.
"It's a Thai restaurant that Alex found, I'll drive if you want me to".
I think for a moment but see he clearly wants to drive so I chuck him my keys and we exit the building.
When we arrive the guys are already standing outside waiting for us and as we step out the car George is giving me his usual devilish smile that is insinuating something. We greet each other and shake hands and hug each other and they are all excited as they haven't seen each other in a few months. Despite being in F1 for a year I kept myself to myself and maintained a private life and didn't really connect with other drivers apart from George, Lance and Pierre so it's a little awkward for me as I have barely said 10 words to Lando or Alex.
We eventually head in and we are shown to our table. I try to sit next to Carlos but Lando gets there before me so I sit down in-between Alex and George.
I take this time as an opportunity to get to know Alex as we haven't really had much time to talk.
"So how's things going at Williams?" Is the first question that comes to mind but given the results of the season I can sort of make my own answer up.
"Yeah it was a tough season but we are working hard this year, anyway how are things going at Haas especially after Mazepin?"
"Going well, obviously I have a new teammate now so hopefully more points and hopefully the car spends more time on the track than in the wall".
He laughs lightly at my little dig at Nikita and then asks how I'm finding Carlos being my new teammate and I can't really think of an answer as we have only done two days of simulator testing so I can't really give a valid answer so I simply reply "it's going well, I think we get on" George hears my response and I see him pulling that grin again and I lightly hit his leg with my foot under the table causing his grin to dissipate.
Over the course of dinner Lando and Carlos are constantly touching each other and joking with one another and for some reason I feel angry, jealous?
I know I have nothing to be jealous of, it's not as if he's my boyfriend or even remotely interested in me so I have no idea why I'm feeling these feelings that are so irrational.
At one point Lando is holding on to one of Carlos' arms and I excuse myself from the table and head to the bathroom where I take a moment to just cool down and splash some water on my face. I don't intend to make an embarrassment out of myself over a guy I have only really known for 2 days. As I'm patting my face dry with the paper towel I hear the door behind me creaking open and see George enter.
"Are you alright?" he asks.
"I'm fine just struggling with a hangover still" I reply.
"You know you are one of two people after Carlos and Lando is fierce competition. He won't let Carlos go that easily, but don't give up."
"I'm not after Carlos I'm after a race win and more points are the only 2 things I'm after in this world, besides relationships just get in the way" I start heading for the door and George places his hand on my shoulder.
"Believe me trying to block him out it won't work, I've seen Lando try and fail doing that. And you are teammates you are going to constantly be reminded of him"
"Thanks for the words of encouragement George" I say sarcastically before heading back to the table.
I manage to finish my meal and decide I have had enough of watching Lando fanboy over Carlos and say I'm going home and I ask Carlos for my car key.
When he asks why I'm going I say I'm just tired and he asks if I want him to drop me off but I tell him it's fine and he can stay and enjoy his evening.
As I walk out to my car and press unlock I hear someone call my name and turn to see Lando running towards me.
"Is everything alright?" I ask
"Everything is fine, just do me a favour and don't make things difficult for me and Carlos," he says.
"I'm sorry what do you mean exactly"
"Well I like him and I want to get with him at some point but I know you like him too so please let him go and settle for second best"
When he says that I become enraged and say something I probably shouldn't have.
"I guess you know a lot about being second best considering Oscar is always out qualifying you and getting more points than you, McLaren must really love you to still keep extending your contract but you will never be as good as Oscar"
"Don't be bitter Y/N it's not a good look"
During the drive home I am fueled by anger and I have gone over the speed limit a few times but at this point I don't really care, I have never been so annoyed by a single person.
I spent a year with Nikita and Dimitry Mazepin. I thought I had the patience of a Saint to deal with them, yet some McLaren driver comes along, makes a few comments and I see red.
I fumble around with my house keys before eventually finding the right one and open the door. The entire apartment is dead silent apart from the faint ticking of the clock. I throw my keys onto the small table by the front door and sit on the chair by the kitchen Island sipping on a glass of water when my phone pings and it's a message from Carlos.
'Hey Y/N me and Lando are going to a karting track tomorrow for a quadrant video. Would you like to come?"
I can't think of any excuse to get out of it so I text back "sure" despite the fact I'm completely unsure and a day with Lando and Carlos will really test my patience.
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mollymagician · 1 year
Text
Dreamling Week Day 6: Sick
A companion to this and also this.
It was day two of watching Dream’s fledgling immune system engaging in gritty trench warfare with what he hoped was the flu, and Hob was maybe…losing it a little. Just a bit.
Though it was obvious which one of them was more miserable, startling awake every few minutes for hours to the sound of Morpheus’ wracking coughs left Hob strung-out and woozy. But that wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with before.
It was just that, for all he’d known that this was inevitable, it was still a shock to his system to watch. Every time. With anyone he loved. Fresh blood from the 600 year old scab that had formed over the memory of his family dying of the plague. And the knowledge that Dream couldn’t die didn’t help nearly as much as he’d hoped it would.
Now he lay awake, too keyed up to doze back off. Dream was a long burning line beside him in the dark. Quiet and finally able to rest for nearly a blessed hour, thank God.
Quiet for a certain value of the word, anyway.
He twitched in his sleep, shivering, hands grasping fitfully at the blankets. Murmured incoherently on and off. But the coughing was settled for now and that was half the battle. Hob laid a hand against his sternum as his raspy breathing quickened, pressing gently. “Shhh, dove.” The bare skin was hot under his hand. Hot, hot, hot. After watching him sweat through his second shirt in as many hours, Hob had given up on hassling him to change into fresh ones and let it go.
It was probably the flu, Hob told himself. Again. The COVID test he’d pulled from his stash in the bathroom had come back negative, but what did that even mean anymore? He’d put in calls and informed all pertinent parties that he’d be isolating, anyway, with a sick partner who had all the symptoms. (Who still seemed so NEW, whose body still sometimes seemed to forget the rules it was playing under.)
They’d started him on an immunization schedule as soon as he was able. “Look. Even if it can’t kill us, whatever it is we get,” Hob had told him, “we still might pass it on, yeah? Better for everyone if we make sure that we can’t. And…there are things…” He felt his face twisting into some wry, sad thing. “Even if they can’t kill you, there are some experiences I’d spare you, if I can.”
Hob expected an argument, but Dream just regarded him for a long moment, nodded solemnly, and that was that. Hob found him a physician who was well known for his experience with neurodivergent patients, assuming that would be their best bet, and they cooked up a story about Dream finally removing himself from a “complicated family situation” that had resulted in an adult who had never once been to a doctor and needed to begin a vaccine regimen ASAP.
Apparently as soon as possible hadn’t been quite soon enough.
Beside them on the nightstand, an alarm began to chime softly from his phone and Hob reached over to silence it. He scrubbed a hand over his face
“After everything you’ve been through,” Hob whispered, “what does that brain of yours see when it goes haywire like this, eh?” He pressed a hand to Dream’s burning forehead. “Or is weirdness so normal that your sick dreams are all about toasters and shopping for socks?”
“My sister,” Dream rasped, “can make even socks as weird as anything you can imagine.”
Hob leaned over to peer down at him and caught the glint of pale blue eyes just barely cracked open in the dimness.
“When you’re right, you’re right,” Hob said softly. He brushed lank hair from Dreams face carefully. “I am so sorry to wake you, love, but it’s time for more meds.”
Dream stared at him for a few moments before his eyes drifted closed. “Yes,” he murmured.
Hob had begun to shuffle himself out of bed when a hot, clammy hand suddenly wrapped itself around his wrist. He glanced down to find Dream looking back at him, glassy and intense. “You were gone,” he said, his normally velvet-dark voice sounding as though he’d gone a few rounds with a cheese grater and lost.
Hob lifted the hand that gripped him and kissed the backs of Dreams fingers. “I’ve been here all night, I promise.”
“No. You asked what I saw…I…” Dream swallowed. “I kept seeing that day. The White Horse ruined, and I walk but there’s nothing to find, because you’re gone. And always I end up…back where I started…”
“Fuck, Dream.” Hob climbed back across the bed and gathered Dream against him. “But you see now that didn’t happen, right? Look.” He lifted Dreams hand, held cupped in his own like nesting bowls, and kissed his fingers. “I’m here, and that didn’t happen. I just need to go for a moment. To the kitchen. I’ll be right back, you just…stay right where you are.”
Ridiculous, considering Dream would probably be out again in seconds but Dream nodded, and let Hob go.
——————————
By the dim glow of the oven range light, Hob found the bottle of paracetamol he’d left on the counter and set about filling a mug with water and wetting a tea towel.
From the open window behind him he heard a familiar flutter, and Matthew landed on the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “Hey,” he said, “so how’s our guy?”
Hob ran a hand through his already disastrous hair. “Could be worse?”
“Yeah that’s about what I figured.”
Hob obligingly let him hitch a ride on his shoulder down the hallway, and he disembarked onto the top of the dresser, uncharacteristically quiet.
“Dream, love, wake up.” Hob laid a hand against Dreams cheek, jostling him gently. “I’m sorry, duck, I need you to drink for me. Come on.” Dream woke with a sharp breath, eyes tracking quickly around the room before meeting Hob’s. The tension drained visibly from him.
“Hob…” he said. When nothing else seemed to be forthcoming, Hob leaned in and helped him shuffle up against the pillows. He took two pills and drank half a mug of water before turning away with a scrunched, pained expression. “No more.”
“Okay.” Hob set the mug aside, knowing if he pushed his luck then everything that just went down would come back up. He gently went about wiping away a nights worth of clammy sweat from Dream’s face and neck with the towel.
“Thank you,” Dream murmured, followed by a tumble of words in a language Hob didn’t recognize (and he thought he’d heard them all.) Then, “I’m sorry…I…”
There was a soft thump as Matthew landed on the bed beside them. “Dude, what the hell was that?”
Hob sighed. “That was probably the hundred and three degree fever talking.” He pressed the towel to the pulse beating in the hinge of Dream’s jaw. “Though it happens sometimes on a good day. Think his brain’s still working out the kinks.”
Matthew sat silently for a long minute, watching Dream shifting restlessly beneath the blankets. Then he said, in a voice more subdued than Hob thought him capable of, “I feel kinda shitty, you know? I thought him being human, it was gonna be a big larf. Haha, right? I forgot for a sec how much it sucks balls, sometimes.”
Hob chuckled. “That’s certainly one way to put it.”
Matthew hopped over to Dream, close enough to preen gently at a lock of tangled hair. “You’re gonna feel better in no time, Boss 1.0”
He looked up at Hob. “There, uh, anything I can do for you guys? I mean, I was a lousy cook even when I was human so I wouldn’t trust my chicken soup if I was you but, you know, anything else I can do. Just ask.”
Hob opened his mouth to reply, and suddenly felt hot fingers, curling around his wrist again. Gripping tight. He dropped the towel and covered Dream’s hand with his own, then shifted to lace their fingers together.
“Actually, Matthew, can you ask Daniel to do me a favor?” The enormity of the fact that he could say this, so casually, as though he was asking someone to pick up milk at the shops, wasn’t lost on him. “Could you ask him to get a message to Del for me?” He rubbed Dreams fingers where they were locked with his own and felt the grip relax. “Tell him to ask her…to send us some goldfish instead. She’ll know what you mean.”
“Right,” Matthew said. “As Boss 2.0 to ask Del for goldfish. You got it.”
“Thanks Matthew.”
“Hey, anything for you guys.” He took off through the door and vanished in that uncanny way he had. Hob reached for his phone, carefully set the next alarm, and slid back under the blankets, tugging Dream against him in the gray pre-dawn light. “Not going anywhere,” he whispered, and lay his head down to sleep.
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If it's not at least sort of hereditary, then how was she able to become the leader so young?? I mean, it's clearly not entirely so, but if it's not at least a little or is just more likely to be passed down because children of leaders get specialized training for it, then surely someone older would have been chosen instead? But in any case, it would explain Irida having no playmates as a kid, if she had a parent run away to be with a Diamond Clan member to make Volo her half-brother. It'd be such a scandal, and if she was young enough she might not have had strong enough friend bonds to weather that fallout. Assuming there were even many kids around her age anyway, most of the other adult Clan members only look about mid-twenties maybe, but that'd still make her quite a few years younger than them. Wait, to have Volo be as old as he is, they'd at the very least have to be born right around the same time, so even bigger scandal: her dad is the one who ran off while her mom was pregnant, because he found out his Diamond Clan mistress was also pregnant. (New au idea where she and Volo are actually twins that were separated when one of her parents ran off and took him with them, but neither of them know it. She and Ingo have a "leaders/bosses who were separated from their twin but don't even know they have a twin, much less who that twin is" bond.)
Yeah, Cogita's whole Thing was just kinda weird in general. I can see why you'd want to just avoid that entirely, especially if you found something that works better lol
I mean, who wouldn't want to live on an active volcano?? Or maybe she just lives with Iscan. That's how they got together, she took one look at that volcano and was like, hell no. Not that I think she'd want to live there anyway after her noble died. Oh that's true, it might still be a little contentious but I think that's an argument that'd work well on dissenters, especially the point that they're not damaging the original room, they're just adding onto it.
Do they know how to unfrenzy alphas at that point though? The only way to really do that I think is to catch them, and they don't use pokeballs even if Ingo somehow figured that out (since I don't think he goes around actually catching many, just his team). They didn't know how to calm the frenzied nobles at first, so they might not know how to help the gallade even if they wanted to, and that's assuming that it even works on alphas the same as it does the nobles. Maybe the reason it's in Snowpoint is so that it doesn't go around hurting more things. This way at least it's mostly isolated. 
How would that work for like Avalaugg, Electrode, and Basculegion? Or maybe it's not a requirement to go through with their noble, but it's an option if both parties agree? Especially if they don't already have a partner to help. 
Now that they know where they stand with him, all they ask is that he turn the crazy eyes down to at least a 7 when he's talking to them. And also, yes, they'd prefer if he would stop dying, it'd be pretty inconvenient to have to find another warden, and it's probably bad luck to let someone Almighty Sinnoh sent them die. They don't need divine wrath rained down upon them just because he has a delicate constitution.
THE LAST SENTENCE GHSKJSHKJSH. anyway.
"how did irida become leader so young" is something id like to know too tbqh. were she and palina like. literally the only available candidates? if that's so, and if the theory's true that lord arcanine died during the trials and that "failure" is what removed palina from consideration—but i feel like surely wardens aren't allowed to become clan leader?? like once you're warden that's it for life, surely, unless you do something so heinous that every other warden in the region agrees you've violated your duty and need to be outcast.
maybe, like the wardens are partly chosen by their nobles, the leader candidates are partly chosen by almighty sinnoh. there's some sort of test of approval that potential candidates have to undergo, maybe involving the lustrous, and then the leader is selected from among those. and if all the other candidates were eliminated, maybe irida just. won by default, despite being so young. (and that would add another layer to adaman's whole Thing, if leaders are typically chosen by sinnoh—and either it marked him but still refuses to acknowledge him, or it has marked nobody and he was chosen as leader by the clan despite sinnoh's silence but there's still something illegitimate about his status. mm love the vibes of that second one actually.)
(either way, though, i still don't think wardens can be leaders?? wtf is the timeline of palina becoming a warden?? CAN wardens be leaders?? then why didn't they just choose calaba??)
yeah, i feel like, if it is true that there was a war or some other disaster that all but wiped out that middle generation of the clans, irida belongs to sort of an awkward time where there weren't many/any other kids bc the older adults were gone and most of the survivors hadn't grown up enough to have kids of their own. i feel like another possibility is that volo is older than irida by a few years but actually spent the first few years of his life living with the diamond clan, until his parents finally couldn't take the fighting anymore and both ran away, his father leaving behind an unborn half-sister he may or may not have ever known existed. (or, the same thing, but he's lived in the guild his entire life—his mother left diamond for the guild when he was born, but it took a few years for her to convince his father to do the same, and irida was conceived in the meantime.) the idea of them being twins is really fascinating actually. that also means that irida just has perpetual babyface and/or volo looks older than he is ghskshj
lol palina showing up at iscan's face like hi i know we met like yesterday and also i'm technically supposed to be arguing with you about god but listen i just found out my house is in the middle of the volcano and i'm not doing that. please.
i think defeating alphas in battle is also a valid way to unfrenzy them? especially since that's what mai asks you to do with the first one you face (you CAN catch it but it's not required). and yeah agreed that ingo probably only catches his main team permanently, he might use pokeballs as a method to transport other ones but he releases them right afterwards. (i have been thinking that he's probably befriended a ton of pokemon via his warden duties, and could theoretically call on them for battle, but they just. don't want to be Caught, and his main six are just the ones he's closest to. yanno) but oh that's an interesting thought that they've isolated the gallade in snowpoint for safety, but still wouldn't they be worried about it damaging the temple?
mm yeah you're right it probably is more of an optional thing than a required one. the nobles could probably also use their status with the wild pokemon in their region to find a partner, if temporary, for their warden, too. if they haven't befriended one yet.
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detectivesus · 7 months
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get comfy, this seems long
a little background of semi important info: i missed the entire first week back ill, i haven’t actually made it in to uni since like the end of november because every time i get near there i become ill and i only need 1 module to pass my year because i’m leaving in summer anyway (i wanted to leave at christmas but my course lead convinced me to stay till summer)
okay so, i turned up for my first day of 2nd semester this morning (i missed last week because i was ill) and theres a class in the room i’m supposed to be in so i just keep walking and sit on the floor nearby. When my class start time comes i head back to the room and my lecturer is stood at the door and tells me i’m half an hour late because we now start half an hour earlier despite what my (digital) timetable says but i was apparently just supposed to know this even though she knows i wasn’t in last week so was very confused. I go in and i can hear people whispering my name, they’re turning to look at me and some are even pointing at me and it felt like i was back in high school so was ready to just leave then. So then at lunch i get an email from my course lead asking what i’m doing, if i’m coming back at all and that he thinks i should just do 1 module (2 months ago he said i’m best doing all 3 so slightly confused on why thats changed) (it’d mean i’m only in 1 day a week). I go back in after lunch and my module tutor ( also my personal tutor) pulls me aside and says that she has agreed with my course lead that i’ll just do her module even though she hasn’t spoken to me about this because every time i’ve emailed her she’s just ignored me. She said this infront of a new student who i’ve never met before and within ear shot of like half the class so now everyone knows half a story thinking they know the whole story. She then introduced me to this new student who she’s essentially asked to join this class to ‘look after me’ (her words) (the student wanted to do an extra module because her schedule is kinda empty). This new student then introduces me to her friend who just happens to be uni crush. I go to say that we already know each other and uni crush acts like i’m a complete stranger. We then had physical testing and uni crush makes comments about me being really supportive and that if she competed in sports that she’d want me to travel everywhere with her.
So now i’m just very confused with everything. On whether to stay, on how many modules to do and wtf to do with uni crush
i’m so so so genuinely sorry it’s taken a week to get back to this 😵‍💫 have been all overrrrr the place emotionally and geographically lmao so i do apologise!! and hope that maybe things have settled a little since <3 suuuuper weird that they’d make decisions about you without your input, seems like an odd way of operating for sure!! alsooo strange that uni crush acted like she didn’t know you, any idea what was up for that / how’s it been since? i think just sitting down with your tutor or whoever you think and having a proper chat instead of miscommunication and stuff might help them see what would work best for you!!!!! seems like they’re assuming stuff atp. hope you’re doing better, sorry again for the incredibly late response x
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baboseong · 1 year
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First off, congratulations on your marriage. I'm happy to see that you married your best friend and that you felt ready to share and spend the rest of your life with someone who, I hope, shares the same life goals as you. I can already tell she does, you two had a courthouse wedding in your hometown.
I'm assuming you two most likely have lived together for a brief amount of time and are ready for the next phase which is buying a home and starting a family. At first, I laughed really hard. I would NEVER in my life do a courthouse wedding with a full photoshoot to match. OH HELL NO.
Then I laughed even harder when I realized.. We separated January 2022 and over a year later on September 2023, you're married. You last tried to contact me in February 2023 through multiple channels stating you were backtracking all your prior sexual partners because you were getting tested for chlamydia.
The laughter is now over and now my mind is flooding with nostalgia, empty promises, and the what could have beens. The timeline is so uncanny as well. Within our first year together, we also were looking at wedding rings, discussing our future, almost got married in secret. Now, you did them irl with a woman who literally looks like a spitting image of your mother, eyes and all. What's even funnier is that you got married the day before her birthday too, as courthouses are closed on weekends. I try to laugh at how ridiculous this all is, but I can't help but think hm, that could've been me. How would our first house look like? What would our aborted baby look like? How does marriage feel like, even when the other half is toxic? It's so silly for all this shit to run through my mind but I can't help it. My lil brain is just feeding on it, and it's normal. The thoughts will pass, I just need to let it ruminate and gag it all out.
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feztooth · 2 years
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Book Review: Sufficiently Advanced Magic, by Andrew Rowe: 3/5
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Quick Review: This fantasy book has a great plot, the magic is fun and the setting is awesome. Unfortunately, it REALLY needs to be edited. I’d say around 25% of the book can be removed and it would be better for it. I finished the book and the ending was fun, but I tried to start the second one and just couldn’t do it.
Long Review (with some spoilers): I really wanted to like this book. It is honestly really cool. I like the world building, the magic system is cool, the fighting and puzzles are so much fun, and the characters are all like-able (for the most part, but I’ll get into that later). The story revolves around Corin, who comes from a broken family. In this world, when you are 16 or 17 you take a trial in a Tower, which holds deadly traps and monsters. Pass the trial and you get magic, fail and you die. Corin’s brother went into the tower 5 years ago and never came out. He is presumably dead, and instead of dealing with the trauma Corin has pushed all that aside and has now made it his life goal to reach the too of the tower and wish his brother back to life. In the meantime, his mother left and his father is an asshole. Corin passes his test, but gets an enchantment different from what his father wants. This causes his father to disown him and make Corin’s half sister the new heir to the house. Corin has not seen her in years, but they used to be best buds. After the test they go to a magical school to learn in order to get better with their magic. The school is…. okay I guess. Nothing special, and while it is important to show where Corin is learning all this junk from, it was rather boring. This book really shines whenever they are in one of the towers. The traps and mobs are a lot of fun. Ive seen some other people criticize that the author goes way too in depth explaining the magic system, and while I certainly see where they are coming from I wasnt bothered by it. I also saw a bunch of people complaining about this book because it had some diverse representation (mostly sexual diversity). This complaint it moronic and is only worth mentioning to point out that people who do not like a book because a character in it is gay or asexual should really fuck off. For my criticisms, they mainly center around our main character Corin. Instead of counting sheep to fall asleep at night, I run through every time Corin says something along the lines of “I’ll have to look into that later.” I’m usually knocked out by number 20 or so. He says it so often it’s insane, and he never looks into them throughout the book! Corin comes across some high level magic he has no idea about, cant replicate, and has never even heard of, better look into that! It gets very repetitive, and also never comes back to affect the story. My second problem with this book is Corin. He is both the smartest and dumbest character in the book. All of the most basic magic ideas need to be explained to him, which I get. The audience needs to know how things work, so make the mc ignorant of them. That would be fine, except it contradicts the fact that Corin has been training for the past 5 years ti do well in the tower so that he can save his brother! Even the other students know more than him! Also, while he makes lots of mistakes and has plenty of gaps in his knowledge, he has an incredible superiority complex. He assumes he knows more than all of his teachers, and thinks he can improve any idea it concept he comes across. And its not like he has some sort of brain blast and can see an actual improvement - rather, he’s not the one what came up with it, therefore he MUST be able to improve it. It gets rather tiring, and what sucks is that when he’s with his friends he’s a great character. While he seems to think his teachers are morons, his friends are all geniuses in his eyes. If he was consistent in his appreciation of people’s knowledge and power, he would be a fantastic character! Instead we get laughable situations where he takes offense to something a character much stronger than him does, and he spends the next 3 pages thinking of ways he can beat them and in a fight (hint: he cant!) And that’s what’s so frustrating about this book. In some parts of the book I would give it 5/5, but in other areas it just sucks and I would give it 1/5. There’s a lot of really great ideas here, and the author is obviously has a great vision. It just needs a really thorough edit.
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sukirichi · 4 years
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— out of reach | gojo x reader
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request: Girllllll I just read your jealous gojo fic and my heart went 📈📈📈📈💥💥💥 youre now one of my fav writers 🙏🧎‍♀️And the spicy parts 😫😫😫 💖 If your asks are still open, could I please request a fic where GOJO has a size kink 🥺🥺🥺 my 5’1 ass is obsessed with that shizzzz 
pov: you’re gojo’s childhood friend and roommate – which leads to utter chaos – or perhaps utter bliss?
warnings: size kink, lots of teasing, lots of cursing, dirty talk, choking (probably not in the way you think), body worship, lots of size difference scenes, slight manhandling, overstimulation, thigh fucking, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (don’t do this irl guys) + unedited fic :D
notes: idk what happened here LMAOOO but i loved writing this one because i’m short as hell too lol. thanks for this request anon, i hope you like it! <3
word count: 10.5k
masterlist ! 
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If you’re going to be honest, having Gojo as a roommate is something completely unexpected.
Not only are you two from entirely different worlds – him as a jujutsu sorcerer and you as an average human who can’t see curses – but he’s also just someone who is entirely out of your league. He’s respected and looked up to in his field of work, while half of your co-workers don’t even know your name, much less notice you in function parties where you mostly just nibble on sushi before calling it a day and turning back home.
You and Gojo met in elementary school. You could tell from the way he’s surrounded by servants and stern looking adults, firm hands on his small shoulders, that he was different from everyone else.
Apparently, he comes from one of the three big clans in the jujutsu world or whatever. You honestly don’t care about any of that, because Gojo refuses to act maturely about his role in the clan. You still remember how quiet he was on the first day of school, never smiling and keeping to himself despite your persuasion to eat lunch with him or play with him after school in the courtyard.
You miss that Gojo Satoru – the quiet, serious kid who was far too gentle in his actions yet firm in his words and beliefs. When you were still a little girl, you admired how he seemed older than his age, a wistful look in those azure blue eyes of his that you’ve always loved.
To you, Gojo Satoru was your hero. You’ve always been one of the shortest kids in class, and it didn’t help that you really loved pigtails all the way until middle school that made you an easy target from immature people who’s being hit way too fast by puberty and growing each passing day. You never minded your short stature because really, it’s just height, but you couldn’t ignore how your confidence dwindled each day when they called you several array of nicknames.
Too shy to fight back, you’d laugh it off or force a smile.
Gojo wasn’t having any of it. He’d break his silence and immediately pull you to his side (which only made things worse because Gojo was one of the tallest kids in class, further emphasizing how small you are right next to him) before threatening to smack the kids right in the face.
The threat should be enough to land him detention, but because he’s Gojo Satoru, the golden kid everyone loved, they took his word seriously.
At the age of eleven, you started seeing your best friend as your knight in shining armour. Gojo basked in this, growing protective and always glaring at whoever snickered when you walked past them. Sometimes he even bared his teeth to hiss at them, which was honestly so ridiculous now that you think about, though the message – the threat – always came across loud and clear.
So yeah, you love Gojo, you still do.
Years flew by and the two of you grew apart due to work and also as a part of growing up. You still kept in contact, messaging each other once a month to ask the other how they’re doing. His work kept him extremely busy though, and Gojo didn’t want you involved in the dangers of what he’s doing, so he makes sure to keep a safe distance.
Until six months ago, you hear a banging on your door. You’re just about ready to throw hands because your former roommate moved out to live with her stoner boyfriend, leaving you to shoulder all the bills and responsibilities of maintaining a two man apartment.
A sneer forms on your lips as you swing the door open, a scowl already on your face. You assumed it was your roommate who returned to get the pair of lace panties they left in their room, but instead, your childhood friend stands before you, taller (seriously, how has he not stopped growing?) and definitely a lot hotter than the last time you saw him.
One thing leads to another, and now it feels like there was never such distance between the two of you with how easily you both fell back into a comfortable – yet chaotic – rhythm and routine of being each other’s roommate.
Not that you mind, of course. Gojo’s definitely changed a lot from when you were kids. He’s no longer that stiff or sensitive when it comes to others. In fact, it seems like he loosens up a lot more with age, because you can barely recognize the man living under the same roof with you now.
For one thing, Gojo is loud. Like really talkative, won’t shut the fuck up and speaks like he’s in a screaming contest with someone. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking an important phone call or sleepwalking at three in the morning to pee, Gojo is always creating some sort of ruckus.
You’d never admit it out loud, but you loved it. You love him.
He’s definitely a lot more enthusiastic and fun to be with now that both of you have grown up, or in Gojo’s case, simply aged. His maturity reversed backwards because it feels like you’re taking care of a little kid.
Not only does his body clock is practically non-existent, he’s also horrible when it comes to taking care of himself and being punctual with work.
Fortunately for him, you love him, and you both leave for work at the same time. You always wake up earlier to prepare breakfast so you’d both have energy to start the day – although you highly doubt there’s really anything that depletes his endless source of one.
Sleepily walking through the kitchen with your fist rubbing at your eyes, you rummage through the refrigerator for some eggs when you realize there’s none.
Huh, you think to yourself, scratching your scalp. You’re sure that Gojo went grocery shopping last week since it’s his chore to do the outside stuff like buying groceries and throwing thrash, so where did it go?
You open shelf by shelf, checking each corner and shoving cans aside to look for the tray. With a glare, you stand on your tiptoes to pull the pantry open, only to have your mouth fall aghast because it’s all there – right at the back where you can’t reach it!
Fucking Satoru, you grit your teeth while heaving your body up onto the counter. It’s a struggle because not only are your muscles still half asleep, but because the shelf is right in your face, and if you’re not careful enough, you could hit it right with your face and fall over. Of fucking course you know Satoru did this to make fun of you – and now you retract your statement over your best friend.
It’s all a lie.
He’s a pain in the ass. Why do you even bother cooking for him and letting him live literally just a room away when you know he won’t stop pulling shit like this?
Because, the nagging voice in your head tries to mock, he’s your best friend and you can’t really say no to him. This makes you huff as you carefully pull the tray towards you, hooking two fingers at the edge while your other palm grips at the end of the counter for support. No thanks to your short limbs, you’re practically hogging the shelf by now in an attempt to reach it. You look ridiculous, that’s for sure, and you make a mental note to keep Satoru’s windows open tonight so he freezes to death –
“Aw, cupcake,” a sing-song voice emerges from the other side of the room. “You look so adorable. You should’ve woke me up if you need my help.”
“Fuck off, Satoru,” you flip him off. The man only laughs, the rambunctious sound echoing off the walls. It’s way too early in the morning and he’s already so damn loud; something builds up at the back of your head out of frustration already. His grin only gets wider when you finally got the eggs and clutch it your chest, setting it down on the counter while wiping your sweat away from your face. “Freeloader,” you mutter under your breath, ignoring him when he happily skips over to you.
“Ouch,” he places a palm over his chest, although you both know he’s never really affected by anything. “So what’s for breakfast today? You?”
“You know, I can kick you out anytime I want. I’m being extremely nice even going as far to cook you breakfast before you leave for work, so don’t test my patience.”
“Exactly, my best friend is so kind,” Satoru grows the audacity to rest his arm on your head. This triggers a reflexive response from you; shoulders tensing up and hands curling into fists beside you. “I would totally date her if she wasn’t such a temperamental little devil,” you nearly stab him with a fork with his statement, which he thinks he’s being so sly for but you heard it, and you’re most definitely not pleased with it. “Okay, I’m kidding! I’m going to go shower now!”
You roll your eyes at him and heat the pan over with some oil, muttering under your breath that you’re really going to kick him out soon. As if things couldn’t get worse – as if Satoru couldn’t get any worse – he smacks your backside in the process before darting to the showers.
“Gojo Satoru!”
“Morning, best friend, love ya!”
You were right. He is a pain in the ass.
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“You don’t always have to walk me to work.”
“I know.”
“So why’re you still here? I’m not a little kid anymore,” Contrary to your words, you stick closer to Satoru when the morning rush of workers and students begin to crowd the streets. Your best friend notices this with a small smile, his hand resting on the small of your back. “Don’t even try, Satoru.”
“I wasn’t saying anything.”
“I know that look on your face,” you fiddle with the buttons of your uniform, sighing when Satoru follows you inside the bus after tapping your phone for two seats. It’s not a surprise to you anymore that most of your expenses are spent by him, for him, and he lazily sprawls his long limbs across the seat before you pulling you down right next to him.
As much as you hate this man, especially because he smirks at the attention he’s receiving from women – even men – in the bus, you have to admit he’s warm and smells damn good. You bite the inside of your cheeks, looking around in slight self-consciousness before inching a little closer, just to feel his warmth. He’s comforting – irrationally so – so you set your bag between the both of you to keep your sanity. “If you keep doing this, Principal Yaga might fire your ass because you’re never on time.”
“Trust me, cupcake, he won’t. I’m too valuable for that.”
How you saw that coming – you can’t tell anymore. The bus ride is relatively quiet and eventless, with you dozing off every now and then because you’re never a morning person. Thankfully, Satoru is more respectful this time around, lolling your head until it drops to his shoulder. After that, he snakes his arm around your waist before resting it on your thigh as a way to say you don’t have to head bang every damn second and just sleep.
On any other occasion, you would’ve hated it. You always look so small whenever you’re in Satoru’s presence. It doesn’t help that he’s long and lanky, either, his slender fingers effortlessly caressing your thigh while almost your entire body is flushed next to him. But right now, he’s too warm, too soft, and you’re too tired that for just a little bit, you allow yourself to relax.
A beeping wakes you up a moment later. Opening your eyes, you push yourself off Satoru when you see an old lady reaching for the handles. No one gave up their seats for her even as the bus driver asked her to find a seat lest she’d fall.
“Grandma, here, take my seat—” You’re about to stand up and offer it to her when Satoru tugs you by the wrist. Because of your small, wobbly composure, pulling you to him takes little to no effort. You end up on his lap, sitting on him as if you’re nothing but a small, dainty schoolbag. Satoru is clearly enjoying this because you feel him breathily laugh on the back of your neck, charming – annoyingly so – as he gestures to the now empty spot beside him.
“It’s no worries, Grandma. She’ll be fine,” he gestures to you, patting your head like you’re some puppy. “Please, take a seat. The bus is already moving.”
“Satoru, get off me,” You wriggle yourself from his hold, which only ends up in wasted effort because this big oaf doesn’t even budge. He even bounces you on one of his thighs, and you dig your nails into his arms as a silent plead for him to stop. He ignores this, ignores your small whines and the apparent embarrassment that has you debating whether to punch him or hide yourself in the safety of his uniform.
“She’s a feisty little one, isn’t she?”
The old lady watches the two of you banter, giggling behind her wrinkled hands. “You’re an adorable couple.”
“I think so too!”
“You’re so going to pay for this, Satoru,” you grumble, face planted onto your palms. This is it – the worst day of your life. It’s even worse because despite your protests, you have to admit his lap is actually comfortable. You’ve already known this before after countless times of cuddling with Satoru during movie nights, but its different when you’re both out in public. It feels...oddly intimate and maybe even romantic when he rubs soothing circles at your back, almost as if apologizing for this event. Most of all, you just hate the way something pools beneath your stomach at having him so close to you like this. “This is so embarrassing. I’m practically crushing you with my weight.”
“Please, cupcake, you barely weigh anything. I could easily lift you off with just my finger,” when you elbow him in the chest, Satoru only laughs, raising both hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing.”
You give up. No one seems to be paying much attention to any of you anyway, so you sigh, letting yourself hide in the crook of his neck as you watch the city pass through the windows. Your body moves as his chest rises and falls from his breathing, the movement oddly comforting. It’s embarrassing – it really is – but at least the grandma was comfortable until Satoru drops you off near your building.
“You don’t have to walk me all the way there.”
“Why not? You don’t want people to see us together or something?”
“No,” you stare at him from the corner of your eye. It’s no secret Satoru is attractive. This bastard knows it too, judging from the way he confidently and arrogantly swaggers next to you, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he walked with no care in the world. “My co-workers keep asking me for your number every time I tell them we’re not dating. It’s getting annoying at this point how they go Satoru this and Satoru that.”
“Am I hearing it right? Is cupcake jealous?”
“I’m not jealous, I’m disgusted,” you correct, “They don’t know how much of a pain you are to have around. They’re so focused with your looks that they completely overlook the fact you can’t even wash your dirty underwear!”
Satoru frowns at this, pointing his finger to you as if you’ve accused him of a huge crime. “Hey, I wash my underwear.”
“Yeah and last time you did, you mixed it with whites! My work uniform turned a stupid shade of blue! Now I can’t picture the colour of your boxers out of my head and it’s giving me a headache!”
“Wow, Y/N,” the smirk on his face and the sudden drop of nicknames lets you know you’ve said something wrong. Even behind his blindfold, you could tell his eyes are just sparkling with amusement. He’s enjoying this way too much. “I never thought you’d ever picture my boxers. I mean, I don’t mind showing it to you if you ask nicely—”
“Ugh, you’re so hopeless. I’m going to work.”
Gojo laughs when you jog away from him. He catches up with you in a matter of seconds, only having to take a few steps forward before he’s right beside you again. You’re unsure if you should be annoyed it’s so easy for him to always be right next to you, and how he almost always is right next to you while you prefer running away. It muddles with your heart and mind so much you pinch the bridge of your nose, trying not to be swayed by the sickeningly sweet sound of his laughter. “I can’t pick you up later, okay? I might work overtime!” (that’s a lie since Gojo prefers shopping and sightseeing)
Both of you know that’s a lie. Gojo never works overtime. He’s going to work for a few hours and so and call playing around with his students as “on-hand learning” before he goes shopping for stupid souvenirs and wild-flavoured mochis, then end his day by sightseeing and coming back home.
“Wasn’t expecting you to,” you mumble, waving goodbye to him as the office doors close. Slowly, Satoru’s grin and enthusiastic farewell fades into view until nothing but the pale, silver walls of your office greets you.
Funny how you claim to hate this man so much, yet the moment he’s out of sight, everything becomes dull and pointless.
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It’s an absolutely shitty day. Your equally shitty boss blames you for something you didn’t even do, all because his incompetent secretary – who you’re sure he’s sleeping with – lost this month’s report and claimed she handed it to you last week when you’re not involved in that kind of work. Logic doesn’t come by them because your boss publicly humiliates and scolds you, calling you all kinds of names until tears are streaming down your face.
You slam the door shut the moment you get home, kicking your shoes off as you head straight to your room. You don’t bother taking your makeup off anymore as you change into a loose shirt and floral cotton shirts, padding to the kitchen after seeing Satoru is well nestled into the couch.
At least someone’s had a good day.
Seeing as the sink is empty, he probably hasn’t eaten dinner. This makes you sigh, because when will he ever learn to look after himself? He’s literally like a child.
Satoru pauses whatever he’s watching before he hovers over you, head tilted to the side as he gazes at you with curiosity. You ignore him and begin to set down some bowls and chopsticks for dinner, all the while Satoru is studying every inch of your tightly pulled face. “Bad day?” he concludes.
“Hmm.”
“Bad day it is then,” he nods to himself. “I can cook dinner, if you want.”
“And have you burn my apartment? No thanks,” you scoff, pushing him aside to retrieve the pans when you see that he’s placed them above again, even after you’ve reminded countless times to just leave it near the holders in the sink. “Ugh, why do you keep putting the pans in this shelf? You know I can’t reach this. I’ve had enough with you pulling pranks on me, and don’t think I’ve forgotten you placed my shampoo above the shower head today, you idiot,” you snarl and hop over the counter again to get the pans, trying your best to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall. “You’re really bothersome, you know that?”
“Then why don’t you kick me out?” he challenges, completely oblivious to how you’re struggling – both physically and emotionally. “You always complain about me being a nuisance here, but you’re not really doing anything to keep me out.”
“Because where else would you go?”
“Technically, I have a room back at the Institute.”
“Yeah, but because you’re so stupid and reckless that you got kicked out of your own home,” you spat out, and you watch as Satoru raises a brow at your statement. Banter is common between the both of you, but something about the intensity of your gaze lets him know you’re serious this time around. “I don’t even know how Yuuji puts up with you. That poor Megumi is right when he says you’re insufferable. You’re good for nothing!”
Satoru scoffs, “Fine, if you hate me that much, why didn’t you just say so earlier? I could easily pack my bags and go since I’m just making everything harder—” Satoru doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying when your hand over the counter that acts as support slips under you, and you fall, legs bent awkwardly while you scream, preparing yourself for the impact. The pan is long forgotten, your only thought was oh my god, so this is how I die.
But it never came, and you keep your eyes shut tight even as warm hands cup your ass. Satoru is breathing hard under you. Finally gaining the courage to crack an eye open, your breath halts when you see that he’s sitting on the floor, with you safely nestled between him.
Satoru has always had pretty eyes, but it’s rare he takes off his blindfold off even when he’s home. This is one of those rare occurrences that he seems like a normal human, dressed in a gray sweatshirt that hands low from his collarbones and magnetic blue eyes staring right back at you. His touch is gentle, almost as if he’s afraid to hurt you, and his voice that is usually loud and teasing comes out breathy and hesitant.
“Are you okay?”
Your gaze drops down to his lips. He’s close, so close, that if you just lean a little closer you could – you snap out of your daze. “Get off me.”
“Cupcake, you’re the one who’s on top of me,” his voice falls an octave lower, eyes flitting down to your clothing – or rather the lack of it – before Satoru takes a deep breath. “Did you really have to wear that?”
“I have the right to wear whatever I want in the comfort of my own home.”
“I wasn’t complaining,” he raised a brow, this time completely in control of himself as he gazes back up at you with a burning gaze. You see nothing but the way one corner of his lips tilt up, almost teasing, and he looks so much like a shit-eater that you feel heat crawl down your spine.
You push yourself off him but your bent foot behind you slips, and you fall forward with your hands clutching his strong shoulders. Satoru catches your leg behind you, drags it forward until your knee is pressed in between one of your warmth, very much still enjoying the way you wriggle away from his hold. He knows his effect on you – but you deny this wholeheartedly.
“Careful, cupcake. This isn’t a slip and slide.”
“I hate you so much,” you bare your teeth at him, slapping his chest until he finally lets go of you. Turning your back to him, you pick up the pan and begin preparing your dinner, muttering curses under your breath as you heat up the stove. “I’m kicking you out tomorrow.”
“Why not now?”
“Eat your damn dinner first.”
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Dinner after that is awkward. Although Gojo is someone who can wolf down his meal in three seconds, he takes his time in eating to start conversation with you. Sometimes he asks decent questions like how your day was or he’d talk about something stupid, but he’s quiet the whole time. He even volunteers to do the dishes before retreating to his room, coating the house in silence.
It almost feels like you’re all alone over again.
You’ve gotten so used to him being an utter mess everywhere that when he’s not trying to piss you off and actually giving you the much needed peace, you begin to hate it. Memories of the rude things you’ve said to him a while ago play and in your head, and you bang your head against the wall repeatedly.
How are you supposed to apologize to Satoru now?
The answer doesn’t come until you stare at your walls, wide awake at midnight. The house is still eerily silent and you don’t stop shuffling around your bed in discomfort. Many times, you wished that Satoru would shut up and leave you alone, but now that he’s actually done that, it feels weird. Uncomfortable. It feels wrong.
With a grunt, you kick off the sheets and carefully tread to his room, knocking lightly in case he’s already sleeping. “Satoru?” you call out, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “Are you awake?”
You’ve seen Satoru angry as kids before, but what would he be like now? Would he still want to be your friend? Would he still annoy you by hiding your things somewhere you can’t reach? Or would he be the who is now out of reach? If he leaves...who’s going to walk you to work? Who’s going to complain he doesn’t want to do groceries but buys you things you don’t ask for but want anyway? Who’s going to keep teasing the living daylights out of you if not him?
All these thoughts claw at the back of your mind until your bottom lip trembles. You hate how weak you feel; how you’re never careful with your words.
You never meant it when you said all that.
Your train of thought is cut off when the door swings open, revealing an equally tired-looking Satoru. At the sight of you peering up at him with glossy eyes, he pushes the door wider and steps closer to you, his large hands cupping your face as he leans down in worry. “Cupcake,” his brows pinch together, “Did something happen? Is something wrong?”
“I just wanted to apologize for everything I said,” you blurt out, “I was just tired from work and my boss was being shitty, so I wasn’t totally myself that time and I’m really sorry I took my anger out on you. I didn’t mean it when I said you’re insufferable and that I’m kicking you out so – yeah,” you breathe out, trailing your gaze downwards to stare at your feet instead. It’s difficult to look him in the eye right now. When you finally gain courage to speak again, it barely comes out as a whimper, your hands delicately tugging at his shirt. “Please stay. I like having my best friend around here.”
Satoru doesn’t answer.
You’re about to look up at him just in case you’ve said something wrong, or worse, he refuses to forgive you, but then – “Yeah, I know you wouldn’t kick me out. You’re too much of a darling to say no to me.”
Sigh. Satoru laughs when he sees your shoulders deflate, absolutely shattered in exhaustion. Hiding your smile to now show him you’re relieved, you punch his chest that really feels like a fly had accidentally flew into him. “Way to ruin the mood, Satoru. And here I thought I could have a serious conversation with you for once.”
“Apology accepted,” he beams, tilting your chin upwards so you could look at him. Even in the darkness of his room, his eyes glow, leaving you hypnotized in its beauty. “Plus, I think I’m the one who should apologize. You’re right; I haven’t been the best roommate and I am a freeloader,” he scratches the side of his head in thought. “But I do buy you food all the time though.”
“Yeah, with my money,” you counter, but you don’t really care anymore at this point. You’re beyond elated you’re both fine now, and you shyly gesture to his big, warm bed that suddenly looks so comfortable. “Can I stay here for tonight?”
“You want Satoru’s bear hug?”
“Yes, I do.” There’s no hesitation in your words and you don’t complain anymore when he easily picks you up like a ragdoll using only one arm. He’s surprisingly gentle when he places you both down on the bed, sheets warm and soft as it blankets over you.
It would be perfect – except it’s so damn awkward.
Gojo’s long limbs are everywhere. Your face is pressed into his chest, both your legs tangled together. His arm is sprawled over the curve of your hip, his hand nearly grazing your ass that’s barely covered by the thin material of your shorts, but if he shifts, he’ll end up cupping the back of your thighs which is equally uncomfortable.
He seems to be stuck in the same position because you’re so small, and your knees are grazing his groin. Had he known you’re going to sleep with him, he would’ve worn underwear or even boxers under his sweatpants.
He’s never told you before, but he prefers to sleep in the nude. Satoru only picked up the nearest pair of pants when he heard you knock, and even then, he didn’t have the time to wear a shirt.
Your breath is hot on his skin and he’s so sensitive and aware of all your movements. Satoru clears his throat awkwardly, shifting until his arm lightly holds your back instead, but then he pulls away as if he’s touched fire when he’d unknowingly fiddled with your bra clasp instead. It’s so painfully awkward that Satoru chuckles above you, while you scrunch your nose, silently praying to the heavens above that he won’t hear how loud your heart is beating right now.
“Why is it so hot in your own room?”
“Maybe it’s time you get me an AC.”
“You wish, Satoru,” you mumble beneath him, making yourself as comfortable as you can with your cheek resting on his bicep. It’s not the softest pillow considering he’s pretty muscular, but he’s warm and smells like mint spice nevertheless. “You’re really not going to put on a shirt?”
Satoru sighs, a long and loud one that is extended for dramatic purposes. Suddenly, he pushes your knee off of him, grimacing and thanking the darkness that you can’t see how much he’s struggling right now. “Cupcake, this is hard for me as much as it is for you. You’re barely wearing anything.”
“Since when have you cared about what I wear?”
“I’m a man, Y/N,” is what he reasons with, “You’re lucky it’s me. Had it been someone else and you crawled into their bed wearing these—” Satoru pinches the waistband of your shorts, and you squeal in protest, only making him laugh afterwards before he lets it go and the material snaps back at your skin, “—poor excuse of what you call shorts, I can’t guarantee they’ll give you a peaceful night.”
You know exactly what he’s trying to hint at. Still, it’s hard to believe that Satoru is capable of seeing you that way.
It’s not that you feel you’re unattractive. You know you’re pretty and have been out on many dates, but it’s easy to feel that you’re not sexy when you have the height of a thirteen year old and you’ve been constantly chastised about it.
Satoru’s not-compliment compliment has your heart skipping a beat, and you scoff in response. “Shut up,” you warn lamely, “I want to sleep.”
“Then let’s sleep, cupcake.” You don’t know if it’s because you’re utterly exhausted that you doze off seconds later or if Satoru’s words just held power in them, but soon all thoughts of anything unwanted drifts out the window, his arms keeping you close, completely safe and sound until the worst nightmares couldn’t even come close.
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Hot. It’s extremely hot.
You crack an eye open to try and find the source of this uncomfortable heat, but you freeze when you realize you can’t feel your muscles from the chin down. Panic rises in your throat once you see the current predicament you’re in, and a scream rips through your throat so loud that the birds outside scurry away in a flurry.
You’re wrapped in Satoru’s blanket and comforter, rendering you unable to move because of how he’d treated you like a burrito wrap. Even your toes are captured inside this hell, and only your head is able to wriggle side to side.
“Satoru!”
The culprit comes out of the shower a split second later, his hair dripping wet and only a towel hanging low from his lips. If you weren’t so hell-bent on killing him, you would’ve been speechless at the way water drips from his hair down to the curves of his abs, going down down down into a place only your darkest imaginations could take you.
Satoru bends over in laughter as he whips out his phone, jumping from angle to angle and side to side to take photos of you. “Fuck,” he howls, slapping his thigh while you snarl in an attempt to break free. “You’re a lot cuter than I thought you’d be.”
“Satoru! Get me out of here!”
“No, this is way too gold. I’m sending these to my students.”
“Satoru, I’m serious!” The devil incarnate himself falls deaf to your please.
Maybe it’s because the violent intent has coursed through your veins so strongly that a surge of energy and strength overcomes you, and soon, you’ve rolled out of the blanket. The fresh air nipping at your heated skin is most welcomed, but right now, you had a mission to fulfil: obliterate Gojo Satoru.
The platinum haired man is still laughing to himself, too distracted in scrolling through the best photos to send to his students that he doesn’t notice you escaping and zooming straight right at him.
The momentum is enough to catch him off guard until you end up on top of him, short arms clawing your way through to snatch his phone. Satoru yelps when his phone lands out into the living room and your hands come down to choke him. You don’t have plans to kill him, but you want to hurt him enough to remind him you’re not someone he can fuck with.
You’ve just about had enough of this man and you’re so sick of him!
Satoru yells out a “Hey!” when you let out a battle cry, using your legs to kick him back when he tries to sit up. Your plan backfires when your hands slip down his wet skin and you fall face forwards, hands barely touching the ground for support when your lips come crashing down on his.
He stills underneath you. It takes a moment for you to realize that holy shit, you’re kissing him and his lips are so soft that has you scrambling back, but Satoru doesn’t let you.
His large hand comes up at the back of your neck to pull you forward. The sudden movement makes you gasp, and Satoru slips his tongue inside when you do so. You no longer remember how you got here or try to make sense of what’s going on, because he feels so good, tastes so good that you bury your nails in his hair while he ravishes your mouth.
You’re so tiny that his hand cups your entire buttcheek almost possessively, a low growl emanating deep in his throat when your tongue eagerly intertwines with his. Satoru tastes like heaven and everything about the kiss is sloppy – tongue clashing with one another and teeth nibbling at the other’s lips. It’s clear both of you can’t get enough of one another as you moan in his mouth, shamelessly grinding on his crotch, suddenly thankful that you’re always wearing thin clothes when you feel him harden underneath you.
“Fuck, baby,” he pulls away to breathe, a string of saliva connecting the both of you. “Yeah, just like that,” There’s something empowering about the way he pants at your ministrations, especially when you roll your hips faster across his erection. “Keep going, baby, you’re doing – fuck – so well.”
You smirk at his praises, latching your teeth on his neck to suck marks on them. Satoru groans at the same time you muffle your moans through his skin, his hands sliding under your shirt to tug the cups of your bra down. You nearly lose it when he pinches your nipple, bolts of electricity running down your spine at the contact. A moan breaks through your lips just as you come right there and then, the wetness of your sudden orgasm barely hidden in your flimsy underwear.
“Feel good?” he teases and drags your shirt down to the other side, but the post-nut clarity hits. And when it does, it hits hard.
Fuck. You just came from Satoru’s simple touches, and he’s so unsatisfied, still painfully hard underneath you but nothing but panic and regret washes over you like a strong tidal wave. Suddenly, you grow lightheaded as you push yourself off him, fixing your bra while ignoring the confused and hurt look on his face.
“I gotta go to work,” you run out the room, feeling your body tremble as Satoru runs after you. “Make yourself breakfast. I’ll eat on the way out.”
“Y/N, wait!”
You know you’ve just ruined everything – that nothing will ever be the same after that – but you’re scared, utterly and remorsefully so, that you slam the door right in his face as if you don’t have any idea how much you broke him.
You’ll never forget the way Satoru’s face fell when you left.
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Just as you thought, nothing is the same after that. The tension is so thick around the apartment you make an effort and go out of your way just to avoid him and the apartment completely.
It’s cowardly – you know this much – but do you ever try to fix the friendship you cherish but shattered completely? You don’t. You don’t because it only crashes down onto you now that maybe your feelings for him aren’t just platonic, after all. It’s even worse because you touch yourself at the thought of him filling you up when he’s asleep, all because you want him so bad and the mere presence of him has your brain malfunctioning.
It isn’t entirely sexual either. Yes, you want to fuck him badly, but it scares you down to the core even more because you want so much more than that.
Now you understand why you always say he’s a bother but never asked him to leave. It’s because you like him, actually romantically interested in him. It makes sense now why you always felt so annoyed whenever your co-workers asked for his number, or how you’re immediately pissed off when Satoru talks about this hot woman he saw at work. You always chalk it up to an excuse you just hate how he can’t keep in his pants, but it isn’t true at all.
It’s because you actually like him – and you’re at a loss on what to do or how to deal with it.
The next few days feels like hell. Satoru isn’t stupid; he knows you’re avoiding him. He stops teasing you eventually and even buys takeout all the time when you lock yourself up in your room right after work, refusing to cook dinner or even eat all so you’d be spared the torture of looking at him.
He’d knock at your door and ask you to eat, but other than that, he’s respected your distance.
You feel like the most terrible person on earth. You don’t miss the way dark circles line under his eyes or how he’s lost his spark, barely even speaking to you when you’ve come or about to leave for work.
You’re alone the whole ride, as well, and it only dawns on you how lonely you are when Satoru isn’t always annoying you all the time.
But it doesn’t make sense. Why is he so bothered by it? Didn’t he regret it? It’s painfully clear you’re not Satoru’s type. You’ve seen the women he dated before, and you’re not close to them so why does he seem like he’s struggling with this as well? Or maybe...he’s just sad that his friend is avoiding him.
Yeah, that has to be it.
Satoru is a man. He was probably turned on at that time, but after giving some thought about it, he probably wants to keep his distance too. He’d be insane if he ever actually wants to date you – his best friend out of all people – because he’s Gojo Satoru and he could literally have everyone else.
You don’t care that you’re a coward.
You don’t care that Satoru is sad to see you this way.
You don’t care because you know he’ll reject you, you know he’ll be weirded if you admit your feelings for him. To him, you’re like his little sister. There’s just no way you two would work out. For now, you have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. You just need some time to get over your feelings for him, and when you’re confident you won’t fall for him again, you’ll mend your friendship.
You just need time.
“So, Y/N, you still don’t want to give us your friend’s number?”
“Yeah, Y/N, you should share it,” your co-worker encourages by jabbing her shoulder to yours. It’s a lazy Friday night and the staff went out for dinner. You don’t usually come to these hangouts since dinner with Satoru is always much more fun, but he’s the last person you want to think about now, so you happily join them. Now, though, you’re starting to regret ever coming here. “If he’s really single like you said, then it shouldn’t be a big deal to ask for it.”
“Well, since you want it so badly, why don’t you ask him directly for it instead?” you snap, feeling anger begin to trickle. All you wanted was just one day where you don’t have to think of him, but of course they had to bring him up. It’s also annoying how they can never seem to get the message across that you don’t want them dating him. “Why do I have to be the messenger?”
“We haven’t seen him much. Doesn’t he always walk you to work?”
“He’s been busy with his job, that’s all.” And also because I’m avoiding him – so now he’s avoiding me too.
“He’s a teacher, right?”
“Oh, come on, guys, don’t be so dense,” your senpai chugged her drink rather loudly, catching the attention of your nosy co-workers who wouldn’t stop pestering you for his number. “Look at how uncomfortable she looks. It’s obvious she doesn’t want you guys to be involved with her friend for a reason. Think of how weird it is for her too if ever her co-worker and best friend dated. She’s going to feel like a third wheel.”
“I’m not—”
“That makes sense,” your co-worker nodded beside you, “Are you sure you just don’t like him though?”
“Ew, why would I?” the food began to taste bitter through your lies, “He may be tall and attractive, but as his roommate, I’ve seen his ugly side. Satoru is a complete slob and can’t even cook to save his life.”
“I don’t mind cooking for him all the time if I were to be his little housewife.”
“That’s never gonna happen,” your words came out harsher than it was, and you laugh it off with a wave of your hand when your co-workers’ eyes widened. “I’ve been living with him for six months and he’s never brought anyone home or told me he’s going on a date. I told you already, he’s a no strings attached kind of guy. He’s nothing but a one night stand.”
“You have to admit he’s still sexy though.”
Right. You hide your groan through another shot because there’s no way of convincing them otherwise. As much as you hate to admit, you’re actually jealous on how freely they could talk about him like that, but then again, it’s not like you and Satoru were dating – or would ever date, for that matter.
They start to leave one by one when it starts to get late, leaving only you who’s still desperate to avoid Satoru. Nothing prepares you for when the sky darkens and a storm comes pouring just as you’ve left the closing shop, the rain drenching and soaking your clothes through and through. Running under the nearest tree for shelter, you shiver. It’s cold – way too cold – and curse yourself for not bringing a darned umbrella.
The nearest bus stop is like what, fifteen to twenty minutes away? Your teeth are chattering and your legs are shaking, and you fumble through your phone as you dial a number you know by heart before you even realize what you’re doing. “S-Satoru?”
“Y/N,” the surprise is unmasked in his voice, something shuffling in the background before it falls silent. “Is everything okay?”
“Uhm, are you busy right now? It’s fine if you are, I’m just—”
“I’m training with Yuuji, but what is it?”
“Listen, I,” you inhale sharply when coldness bursts through your body, making you shiver and press yourself closer to tree to get away from the rain. Above you, thunder crackles before the rain grows heavier and angrier. “I forgot to bring an umbrella and I’m absolutely soaked right now. The nearest bus stop is fifteen minutes away and all the buildings here look so shady—”
“I’ll be on my way. Text me where you are,” You nod and thank him, too cold and numb to realize you’ve just broken days of silence. You lose track of time under there, hugging yourself until your lips turn blue. It doesn’t take long before Satoru shows up minutes later, his hair equally drenched and sticking flat to his eyes free from his blindfold while he pants, hand on his knees. “Thank goodness you’re safe. I rushed here so fast I forgot to bring an umbrella.”
After seeing Satoru drenched like that, something snaps within you. He doesn’t seem bothered by the fact the rain is unforgiving as it slaps the pavement, and your heart breaks when you see that he’s more concerned for you – even after you’ve given him the silent treatment. “You idiot! Now you’re soaking wet too, you’re going to get sick!”
“Highly unlikely,” he shrugs. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
“But what about—” Satoru suddenly carries you before draping his coat over your head, running until he found a cab to hail. He immediately asks the driver to turn up the heater while you tremble on top of him, not caring anymore that you’re sticking so close to him for heat.
Satoru doesn’t let you go all the way inside the apartment. He sets you down on the couch where you take off your wet clothes in haste, too cold with teeth chattering that you silently take the hoodie and boxers Satoru offers you, making sure to keep his gaze averted the whole time. Once fully dressed, you snuggle back into the sofa’s comfort, stiffening when the couch dips beside you.
Not a moment later, Satoru towel-dries your hair, leaving your mouth and throat dry with guilt. Even after you’ve unnecessarily been a bitch to him, he’s still so kind with you.
“Thank you for coming.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Satoru...” you twiddle with your thumbs just as he starts to ruffle the towel in your hair, making sure to squeeze water out of the strands as he dries it. “About what happened the other day—”
“It didn’t happen if you don’t want it to,” his voice is cold’ monotonous and so emotionless you’re rendered speechless. “You can forget about it.”
“I...”
“You regret it, right?” he’s done with drying your hair, and he stands up to place the wet towels in the sink as you watch him stride all the way there. He’s changed his clothes too; looking comfortable in a plain white shirt and some grey sweatpants, looking every bit the domestic boyfriend you’ve always wanted but can never have. “It’s fine. We can forget about it and go back to normal,” to emphasize his point, Satoru winks at you, though it does nothing but make your heart sink.
“What if I don’t want to forget it?” your voice is small; hesitant and wavering with fear. “What if...the only reason I pulled away is because I wanted more of you?”
Satoru’s back freezes as he sets the towel aside. At this point, your heart is pulsing on your tongue, and you dig your nails onto your thighs when Satoru sits down next to you, right next to you. He’s silent the whole time; eyes calculatedly piercing through yours. Your breath hitches when his hands that are burning hot against your cold skin cups your jaw before his thumb runs across your lips, his eyes turning dark at your reactions.
“And what if I said I felt the same way?”
“I,” you gasp, closing your eyes because it all feels so surreal. “I like you, Satoru. I like you a lot and I—” he doesn’t let you finish. Soon, you find yourself in his lap with his hands cupping your cheeks while he smashes his lips onto yours.
Satoru is absolutely feral. He’s breathing hard and almost angry, even, with the way his teeth are biting down to nibble on your lips. You moan when he drags you closer, your clothed centre rubbing on his thigh with delicious friction. “You have no idea,” he rasps down on your lips, “how much I’ve fucking liked you ever since we were kids,” Satoru pushes his hoodie aside, revealing your sweet neck to him, and he doesn’t waste his time in sucking and abusing the poor flesh so he can mark you as his. “I’ve always wanted you, Y/N, it’s always you, always you.”
You fist his hoodie when Satoru sinks his teeth down into the juncture of your neck, his hands curious and exploring every inch of your body. He knows you’re naked underneath his clothes, but it’s a different thing when he actually feels your breasts right on his palm. Satoru tweaks the hardened bud in his fingers, growling when you moan at the contact and use his thigh to get off.
“You—” you gasp as you expose your neck to him, wild and needy as you keep rubbing your heat over his thigh. “—talk way too fucking much,” you scold, finally pushing his lips away from your neck. Satoru chuckles at your eagerness but you silence him by flinging his boxers off of your body and somewhere far away, exposing your heat slick with arousal right in front of him. His pupils blow in excitement, hands coming up to grab at your hips, but his attention is taken away when you nibble on his ear to whisper, “Shut up and fuck me.”
The simple command is enough to make his patience snap. In a flash, you’re pinned underneath him, whining and moaning when his finger meets no resistance as he slips it inside. “You’re that needy, huh?” he laughs even louder when you lose it, humping yourself on his finger because it’s not enough.
“Satoru,” you beg, clutching his bicep when he adds another finger in. “More.”
His fingers are so long, hitting places that your small ones could never reach. He begins to scissor his way in, his fingers deliciously rubbing against your velvety walls while pumping them inside and out in a speed that causes you to squelch around him.
It’s absolutely lewd how you’re eagerly spread out before him, but your head is clouded with lust, no longer hindered by shyness out of your need to cum. Your chest is rising heavily, his thumb now rubbing against your clit as he coaxes you to cum. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he kisses your cheeks, eyelids, nose, anywhere but your lips, his voice so gentle and innocent as if he’s not knuckle deep inside you. “Tell me how you want me.”
“Inside,” you whine, gasping when he brushes against a really sensitive spot that has you clamping down on him. “‘Toru, fuck, just fuck me.”
“Beg for it,” he smiles against your skin, relentless and harsh as he keeps pushing inside you. You feel him everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Another finger adds in until you’re dripping enough on his palm and staining the couch, but neither of you care. “I said, beg for it.”
“No,” you hold back, nearly crying out when he pulls your fingers out of you. That sudden emptiness is back again, but you don’t want to beg. You’ve never begged another man before, and this won’t be the first time you’ll be doing so either. You refuse to let him have the upper hand despite the crystal clear fact you’re already soaking wet for him, but because you’re stubborn, you only fumble with his sweatpants to spring his cock free.
He’s already dripping with pre-cum from the slit, his cock hard and angry. Despite his arousal, Satoru stops you from going further, using only one hand to trap both your wrists. “Beg for it,” he demands again, his other fist already pumping down on his shaft.
You nearly cry at the sight. Both of you are aware that Satoru is capable of pleasuring himself, but it’s not that easy for you. Your small, dainty fingers will never be parallel to the pleasure his long cock could give you. All you had to do was beg for it. He’s right there, within reach, if only you’d just –
Impatient for your answer, Satoru takes you by the hips and discards your hoodie in the process, sinking you down his cock, inch by delicious inch. You don’t hold back from the sensual and high-pitched moan that leaves your lips. He’s long, and the tip of his cock just about brushes your cervix when he bottoms out. He feels so good, so warm and huge and filling you up right where you want him to be. Your head falls down on his shoulder as you begin to roll your hips, but Satoru has had enough.
“Fuck, look at you,” he presses on the bulge of his cock visible through your abdomen. “You’re so fucking small – how do you take me so well? I could ruin you. Do you want that? Do you want me to ruin you?”
“Yes, yes, fuck.”
“You think you can just leave me hanging like that, huh?” he slaps your ass, eliciting another moan from you and making you clench around his cock. Satoru falters for a moment. Before you can react, he stands up, your legs wrapped around his waist with nothing but his tip hitting inside you. “You’ve been so fucking mean – leaving me wanting you like that and ignoring me for days. Do you think you deserve this, huh?” Satoru kicks his door open at the same time he loosens his hold around your ass, making you slide down his length the next second.
“Oh, fuck,” you cry out just as Satoru begins to bounce you, your breasts following the motion of him fucking deep into you. “Fuck, Toru, that’s too—”
He’s so eager to fuck you, to make a mess out of you and have you losing your mind over his cock that he doesn’t even wait until you’re both on the bed. You no longer register when your back hits the pillow, or how your arms are frozen when he pins it above your head.
“You’re so beautiful,” he praises as he watches you clench around him. You’re so small and his eyes zero in on the way your abdomen bulges then flattens again every time he pounds into you, rolling his hips in a way that has you screaming and thighs quaking. “Beautiful, beautiful, perfect,” the moment his hands grip at your hips to pin you down, you know he’s not going to stop. And you don’t want him to.
Satoru latches his lips around your right breast, gently grazing his teeth over it while his other hand pinches and rolls the pebbled nipple between his fingers. He feels so good – and you’re crying already by the time you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer.
The room is filled with the smell of sex, the sound of skin slapping against skin combined with his breathy grunts and your moans like heaven on his ears. Satoru wants you to feel how much he loves you – how much he adores you – and the pace he sets is torturous. He snaps his hips against yours and presses down on the bulge of his cock through your belly, chuckling when you tighten more around him.
Your head lols to the side, tears falling down your pretty face because of how rough he’s being. But you don’t complain, not when he’s filling you in so deep and he’s kissing you everywhere, touching you everywhere, making you feel nothing else and nobody else but him.
“You’re amazing,” he rasps, watching the way your tight cunt sucks him in greedily as if you don’t want him to go anywhere else. “You take me in so well – you really want me to destroy you, huh?”
“Satoru, please,” you finally plead, “I-I’m cumming, I want you, I need you, oh,” you squeal when he finally lets your arms free. You look so precious, so innocent, and he doesn’t let up his pace. He plants his feet into the ground and his strokes begin to grow sloppy, your tight walls encouraging him to go faster, go deeper.
If possible, Satoru is only even more fuelled with the way you look so precious and innocent in that moment. His touch is gentle in comparison to the way he’s mercilessly plowing into you, using his thumb to wipe away the tears streaming down your cheeks. He knows he’s too big for you, that much is obvious from how much you’re already overstimulated just by his size, but your nails sink down on the flesh of his ass as a silent plead for more.
“Fuuuuck, I’m so close!”
“Yeah?” He fondled your clit, loving the sight of your small body creaming down on his cock. “Come for me, sweet girl. I want to feel you coming on my cock. Come on, tell me you’re mine. You’re made me for aren’t you?”
“Yes, Satoru, fuck,” you squeal, throwing your head back for a second when he keeps hitting your g-spot that has you seeing stars. Your toes curl and your hands fist the sheets behind you as he keeps impaling you with his cock right then and there.
You looked perfect; so perfect to him that he’s basically using you for his own pleasure at this moment. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, back arching and nipples brushing against his chest.
In that moment, you grow needy to have him even closer, tilting up to blindly search for his lips. Satoru complies; leaning down and leaving open mouthed breathy kisses that’s a mix of you moaning and crying around him, while he struggles to do so when he’s cursing at the feeling of you coating his cock with your juices. Satoru looks down at your tiny frame trapped in his arms, his voice husky as he groans once he saw both of your arousal absolutely leaking out of your wet cunt.
He’s so close but you’re already over the edge, scratching at his back at the overstimulation. You’re still so sensitive from when you came and Satoru doesn’t slow one down one bit. He loses his rhythm as his thrusts go sloppy, and Satoru buries his face in your neck as his cock twitches inside you until he bursts with his cum leaking out of your hole.
Satoru’s arms give out beneath you, his chest colliding with yours but not enough that he’s crushing you with his weight. You’re both breathing hard and panting, his dick softening inside you.
He pulls back a moment later to slide out his sensitive cock, wincing while he watches pools of cum gather in your pussy before it drips out. It isn’t until he’s witnessing the mess he’s made he realizes how you’ve been so good for him; taking him all the way in despite your quivering frame. It dawns on him now just how tiny you are when he pulls you close to him; you’re practically hanging off his chest with how small your body is.
He wonders how you’re able to fit all of him, but he’s grateful nevertheless. Satoru shows his appreciation by peppering kisses all over your face, his hand snaking down to caress your inner thighs.
“Hmm,” you moan into the kiss, jolting when his knuckles brush against your sensitive clit. “Satoru, no,” you whine while pushing his hand away, and he shushes you with another kiss. “’M too sensitive, please...”
“It’s fine, cupcake, it’s fine,” his nickname for you is back again, and you lean closer to him just as he begins to massage your sore legs. “You did so well for me, cupcake, you know that? You’re such a good girl for me,” too fucked out to have a comprehensive answer, you only nod in response, spreading your legs open again and ignoring the warm stickiness between your thighs as Satoru kneads your abused flesh. You feel him kiss your temple before he leaves to get a towel and cleans you up. Meanwhile, you’re so tired you’re about to doze out in his bed.
“Hey,” he soothes, bundling you up in his arms until you’re tucked in the safety of his body. So small, he coos inside his head, watching as you fold yourself even smaller while your eyes flutter. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you sigh into his shoulder, “I feel good. Thank you.”
Satoru doesn’t really know what you’re thanking him for. He feels like he’s the one who’s mostly indebted to you after everything you’ve done for him. You’ve already fallen asleep before he gets the chance to tell you how he feels, so Satoru only covers you both under his blanket, making sure there’s no more space between you out of fear you’ll distance yourself from him again.
But he doesn’t have to worry about that because you’re right next to him, and you’re never out of reach.
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babyboibucky · 4 years
Text
Promises, promises
Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.
Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)
Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!
A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo
MAIN MASTERLIST
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It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.
There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.
Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.
"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.
You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.
Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.
Right?
"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.
He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.
"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.
Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.
Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.
He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.
"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.
Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.
You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.
"You're too good for me. Way too good."
Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.
You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.
But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.
You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.
Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—
“Hi.”
You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.
Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.
“Hi.”
The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.
The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.
“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.
“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.
He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”
You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.
Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.
It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.
“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.
He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.
“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.
You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”
He shook his head, “Nope.”
You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.
“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.
“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.
“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.
The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.
You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.
The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”
“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.
“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.
You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”
The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.
“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”
“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.
The guy grinned.
“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”
“Hi.”
You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.
“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.
Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.
“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.
Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”
You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.
“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”
What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.
“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.
Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.
It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.
“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”
You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!
“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.
The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.
“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.
Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”
“Creeper.” you accused.
“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.
His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.
“Hey, Bucky!”
You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.
“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.
Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.
“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”
Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.
You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!
“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.
You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”
Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.
“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.
“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.
Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.
“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.
You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.
“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”
Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.
It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.
Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.
“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”
Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.
“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.
Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.
“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.
“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.
You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.
“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”
A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.
You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious.  Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.
“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.
“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.
Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”
“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.
Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.
“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.
You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.
One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.
Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.
The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?
You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.
You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.
It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.
“Can we talk?”
If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.
Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.
But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.
“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.
You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”
You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.
Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.
Sadness and...regret?
Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.
“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.
“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.
Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”
The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.
“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“
“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.
“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”
You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.
“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.
“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.
You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.
“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.
You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”
“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.
Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.
It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.
“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.
Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”
“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”
You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.
“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.
“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.
There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.
“Well, this is me trying something new.”
Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.
“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.
“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.
“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.
You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.
“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”
The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.
“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.
“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.
“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.
“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.
“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.
You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.
“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.
“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.
Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.
“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”
You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”
You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”
Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.
“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.
However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.
Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.
“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.
“You need a password to get through.”
You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”
He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”
You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”
Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”
You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.
“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.
“Penis boobs vagina.”
Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”
You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”
“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”
Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.
“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.
Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”
Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.
“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.
“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.
“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.
“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.
Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.
“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”
The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.
“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.
“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”
The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.
“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.
“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”
His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.
He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”
Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”
“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.
He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.
“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.
You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.
It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.
You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”
Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.
You smiled.
“And the next night. And the next next night.”
Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.
“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.
You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”
“One word, three letters.”
You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.
“Yes.”
Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.
-
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warmau · 3 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance! younghoon had to do something for his late bday because i adore him others: juyeon
the disappointed look jacob gives you as he pulls into the parking lot beside your school is that of a parent, deflated with the rowdy actions of their only child
you hold your physics textbook in your lap in the passenger seat and try to smile at him as some sort of compensation
kevin chuckles from the backseat
"can't believe you're stuck in summer school the year before you graduate."
"shutup kevin the only reason you passed physics is because jacob lives down the street from you and let you copy all his old notes. otherwise, you'd be in there with me."
kevin shrugs and motions for you to get out of the car, you stick your tongue out and thank jacob for the ride
"waterparks gonna suck without you."
he says before he rolls up the window
you groan and mutter a "don't remind me about the waterpark dude" before turning to head inside
the room is barely air-conditioned and your summer physics teacher is some old lady who tells you all to read for the next hour and do the exercises on page one hundred and three
she then puts on an ancient pair of headphones and seemingly tunes you and the other summer school students out indefinitely
she doesn't even notice when the door opens half an hour later and in the frame is the tall, almost infuriatingly handsome figure of kim younghoon
you blink back in surprise - i thought he was a pretty good student?
younghoon notices you too, smiling as he passes your desk to sit in the one behind you
you look down at your textbook and suddenly don't know the weird feeling that washes you over
the room is pretty empty, he could sit anywhere else....
five minutes later, you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder
you turn and younghoon smiles again - his teeth are blindingly white and he doesn't have one acne scar on his pretty face
"do you know if the teacher took attendance?"
you shake your head, "she's basically been comatose since i got here."
he chuckles softly enough that just the two of you hear it
"got it. so we'll just be sitting here in silence for two hours?"
"looks like it."
he takes a pause and looks at you as if he has something else to ask, but it doesn't come out
the first day then drags its feet until finally it's over and you drop your worksheet off on the desk
the teacher mutters that the homework for tomorrow is the next chapter and you give the fakest smile you can muster before trying to beeline for the door
before you can leave though, younghoon calls out your name and you turn to see him standing in the empty hallway
"if i need help with the homework - can i text you?"
you reluctantly make your way back toward him, you take your phone out and hand it to him
"sure, add yourself to my contacts. god this summer is gonna be so boring."
younghoon takes a moment before handing you back your phone, he nods in agreement
"at least we'll suffer together."
you don't think much of it when he says it - actually you don't think about it at all
the only reason it finds its way back into your head is because later that night your phone vibrates and it says you have a text from 'hoon [seven different flower emojis]'
younghoon?
you open it and see that's a long message whining about the confusing chapter you were assigned. you giggle because you've been whining to yourself while reading it too
but as you start to type out a reply you wonder.........
'at least we'll suffer together'.........we barely even know each other? is it really normal to say that - what about being together with a stranger makes summer school of all things better?
your hand hovers over the send button - you close your phone instead and go back to reading, forgetting about the text and falling over yourself in physics terms you should have remembered when you first were taking the class
the next morning, jacob doesn't drive you to school - you walk there and bump into younghoon whose on his way over too
he somehow manages to look tall and unaffected by the sweltering heat
he waves at you with another one of those priceless smiles
"did you do the homework?"
he asks as you fall into step with each other
"barely - i had to look at cobi's old notes."
"cobi?" younghoon tilts his head and you explain that it's a nickname for jacob
something on younghoon's face is confusing, it's like there's a twinge of sadness but you assume it's just a reflex squint to the glowing sun
"you didn't text me back - so i thought you might have given up on it!"
he laughs slightly and you clasp your hand over your mouth
"oh right! sorry - i must have spaced out and didn't hit send. but i totally agree - fluid mechanics could put anyone to sleep."
before you realize it you and younghoon are in the classroom again, sitting in the same seats
you're early so the teacher isn't there yet and younghoon flips to a page from the chapter to ask you if you know what its talking about
you explain what you think it means (from the information you got from jacob's old notes)
and the entire time you're maybe inches away from each other
when you aren't actively thinking about it, it's fine - but then your hands brush and suddenly it dawns on you and you sit back in your seat suddenly
younghoon senses the shift and opens his mouth to say something when the door swings open and a monotone voice tells you to open up to page one hundred and fifty-seven
like what younghoon said and his text, you soon forget about the momentary skinship
your brain starts to melt of boredom as the class drags on and you get past a note from younghoon when the teacher isn't looking
'do you know the answer for problem #3?'
'it's 23.56 m/s'
'woah you're so smart'
'more like the person who used this textbook before me wrote the equation on the page'
'lucky - let's trade textbooks?'
'in your dreams :P'
another long day comes to an end and you wave a goodbye to younghoon, he smiles and waves back and adds a - "reply to my text this time, ok?"
you nod and only again do you think about what he says when you're home and thinking straight under the graciousness of your AC
does that mean he's going to text me?
and like yesterday, younghoon does text you complaining about the reading
you answer and a conversation that comes almost way too easily starts
this cycle starts anew the next day, and the day after that, until at some point you realize you are forming a sort of summer friendship with kim younghoon
and that's normal - that's fine
but there are moments where you look up at him when you're paired together for a makeshift lab or when you've agreed to stay behind some extra hours to study
that you see younghoon in all this detail up close and he's undeniably handsome but also you see something more
for all the years you've been in the same school together, passed each other at parties, probably even stood together at assemblies
you've taken him at complete face value. perfect proportions, always someones crush, the pretty and popular boy who somehow hasn't added complete selfish jerk to that title as well
he's just - kim younghoon - untouchable, out of anyone's league
and now he's more real.
you see the mole on his neck, the way his eyes crinkle when he finds something really funny, the pickiness of his eating habits and how he can't hold a pen properly with his left hand.
they're things that make him human and they're things that you can't help but notice because like anyone, you are instantly attracted to younghoon
it's just crazy that beyond that face there's a boy who you could easily see yourself falling for
of course, you end the thoughts right there.
even though sometimes, you get a weird kind of feeling that younghoon is noticing something about you too.
it really starts to eat at you after you guys are at the halfway point of summer classes - and you have your first test.
you're both panicking about it, because if you don't pass this one - you probably won't pass the final - which means physics again when autumn comes around
so you and younghoon have been spending a lot of time in the library after class with your textbooks, snacks, and jacob's old notes
of course you're both grinding, but distractions happen and you end up taking a break to toss candy into his mouth and doodle cartoons of your boring teacher in the margins of your notes
giggling like maniacs over the inside jokes about class and school you've both come up with, getting scolded by the ancient librarian if you're just a little too loud about it
and then younghoon asks you: "do you have plans after the test?"
you huff and cross your arms
"yeah, to go home and curl up on my bed and forget it ever happened."
he chuckles, puts his hand on his neck and then pauses - what you think is a light pinkness starts to dust his skin
"same, but if you want instead i though-"
your phone goes off just as the words string together - you pick it up and try to wave an apology to the librarian who rolls her eyes at you
with a whisper you turn your head to answer
"what? jacob? what - no i don't know where kevin is i thought he'd be with you."
younghoon's lips thin out and you barely react as you duck under the table you're studying at to keep your voice low
you finish the call and come back up with a sigh
"what were you saying by the way?"
younghoon shakes his head
"nothing, is kevin ok?"
you get back in your seat and you don't want to comment on the weird thin blanket of tension that seems to undertone the question
"he's fine, jacob will find him over at eric's or something."
you look at younghoon and he doesn't return your gaze, he's pushed his chair in closer to the table and picked up his pen
you do the same and try to break whatever this weirdness is
"should we go over chapter five again?"
that moment replays in your head for almost a week straight, it almost distracts you during the test but thankfully you and younghoon both pass
you flaunt your 84 versus his 82 but the happiness of it seems to wash away any excess awkwardness from before
at least for him, for you - you somehow can't stop analyzing it in your head
to make matters worse, more pocket-sized interactions like this start to pop up
younghoon is always seemingly on the verge of asking you to hang out with him outside of class but he never really does
something always stops him
and you kind of start to wish he just would, or if the question that's always on the tip of his tongue isn't that - then you really want to know what it is
you overthink and it frustrates you more than you admit, but at the same time younghoon had been right when summer started
the fact that you have each other to suffer together actually doesn't make this whole thing worse than it originally was going to be
the only reason you're having a tolerable summer is because of him
you don't want to ruin it by prying him with questions
wanting to know if he wants something more than just a physics class-based friendship
because it gets to a point where you don't know what to do, you ask your best friends
when you explain that you and younghoon just click - and it seems like he might want to be around you more, the way you want to be around him -
jacob and kevin give you the same look
jaocb's just nicer when he says "why don't you ask him to hang out first?"
while kevin just laughs and calls you a big dummy - popular pretty boy or not, that's crushing behavior you're describing
you think about it
what's stopping me from asking him first? seriously - am i going to be that person who needs to wait around for prince charming to pull the first move?
so you decide you will, it takes jacob giving you a pep talk before you go into class the next day but you are resiliant
and when younghoon comes through the door - you stand up
"oh, a standing ovation did i do something right?"
he jokes and you have to tell yourself not to focus on how cute he is and get straight to the point
"do you want to hang out after class?"
younghoon's bag drops from his hands and you both kind of startle at the noise
oh shit. here it comes. the big 'oh i hope you don't think this is something more than it is....' line
"oh - i - sure, i mean i saw jacob's car in the parking lot is he not gonna pick you up later?"
you blink in confusion
"no, why would jacob come pick me up?"
younghoon and you have a moment of complete silence and then
"you're dating him, right?"
you're pretty sure you let out a sound that's a mixture of a little yell and an attempt at a laugh
it's embarrassing and before you can backtrack it, the door opens and the teacher snaps her fingers for you and younghoon to sit
as you do - you realize your entire body has gone kind of numb
is that the reason he's been dancing around me this summer, because of jacob?!?!?!
you turn before the teacher can even write the pages to work on on the board
"no!"
you exclaim and younghoon blinks those big, brown pretty eyes at you
"i am definitely not dating jacob bae!"
a sense of relief seems to wash over his face, but you can't even enjoy the way he looks happy because the teacher clears her throat
"the matter of who you are or are not dating is not the topic of this class - physics is. so pay. attention."
you nod, looking down at your textbook as the other students snicker to themselves
halfway through the class younghoon passes you a note
'how about we go see a movie or something?'
your first date goes well.
actually it goes really really well because it turns out younghoon is scared of horror movies and you're not and when he nearly jumps into your arms with fear you just laugh and hold him close
by the time it ends he's got his head completely in your neck and you have your arms wrapped around his waist
it's actually insane how comfortable you two are with touching each other despite the fact that all of summer you would knock knees and it would set both of you into a state of petrification
and when you text your gc after, jacob sends a thousand loving emojis
and kevin replies with: but is he a good kisser tho?
turns out he is, although he kisses with a shyness that is unexpected considering how loud and fun he can get around you
he lets you take the lead, which is nice, and when you kiss him right on the jawline he inhales sharply and you figure out the part of kim younghoon that gets him all worked up
a secret you're sure the rest of the student body will be jealous of you for knowing
the summer goes from tolerable to magical in the snap of a second
your classes finish, you and younghoon both pass the final and celebrate with ice-cream and a trip to the amusement park
you end up on the ferris wheel and younghoon sheepishly admits he had always been a little sad thinking about how you were doing these fun things with jacob and not with him
and you scrunch your nose up and tell him the last time you and jacob were on a ferris wheel together you were comforting kevin for his random fear of heights
speaking of moonbae, they both really like you and younghoon together
jacob thinks he's a mannered young man and kevin is just like soooooo you're nice enough to put up with them (you) you must be a saint
the four of you finally get to go to that water park you missed out on in the beginning and while you and younghoon are holding hands on the lazy river sharing little cute kisses
kevin is splashing jacob to a point where the lifeguard on duty has to intervene
younghoon still sometimes dances around what he actually wants to say or do - and so you coax it out of him with the threat of complimenting him
which you learn is your greatest weapon, you call him pretty and it's practically game over
but seriously he just tucks you into his arms and mumbles something and you're like hmmm and he's like mumbling and you're like younghoon words or i will list the top five things i like about you and he's like
"oK i just wanted to ask if you wanted to stay over........."
you do :) and when you take the liberty of stealing a big flannel of his younghoon hides his face in his hands for like ten minutes straight
before autumn finally comes around for good - you and younghoon talk about how you both flunked physics
you explain that you just did not put the effort in at all and skipped more times than you could count, but younghoon just says he thinks he just messed up pretty bad on the final
"why did you do bad on the final?"
he looks away and you scoot closer, "younghoon?"
"well remember how we all took the final with our seats switched ..... the teacher put me next to you and it was distracting...."
"no way - are you saying im the reason you were in summer school?!?!"
you sit up and younghoon does too with a laugh
"maybe - but it was worth it. i got to spend a whole summer with you."
years down the line you still bring the story up as a fun meet-cute
everyone thinks younghoon is 100% joking, there's no way he failed a final because he was sitting next to his crush
but younghoon swears it's the reason why - he's sure if he could find his original test paper he could show everyone that where he was supposed to have written out the equation he just wrote your name down ten times
jacob accuses him one day for flunking it on purpose since he probably knew you were going to end up in summer school
you turn to your fiancee and ask him is that true, did he really fail it on purpose to spend more time with you?
younghoon's ears turn pink and the whole room erupts into laughter
"younghoon, why would you do that!"
you push him gently, your hand on his chest with the glittering band he gifted you
he shrugs back with a big smile
"i really really really liked you - and hey, it worked out didn't it?"
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elias-code · 3 years
Text
Asleep in Your Arms - Techno x Reader
Characters: c!Techno x gn!Reader
Summary: While a blizzard outside rages, you find comfort in Techno’s arms. He tells you a story to help relax you, and you end up asleep in his arms. Not having the heart to wake you so he could go to his Syndicate meeting, he sleeps with you.
Warnings: None!
~Ask~
Could you maybe write a small thing about short reader (like 5’) feeling safe in Techno’s arms and maybe falling asleep on his lap before a syndicate meeting and not having the heart to wake you up so he lets you cuddle him during the meeting??
~Ask~
Note: Aww I’m 5’ 5” and this really speaks to me… When I get stressed, I just feel the need to melt into someone’s arms (preferably Techno’s) and sleep. Also I hate being woken up so i would appreciate him being so careful lmao. I couldn’t figure out a way to make the meeting happen so I hope this will do! Also, the story that he tells isn’t mine, I just heard it a lot when I was a kid, so I decided to write that one instead of straight up copy and pasting something else—
—- Enjoy! —-
To Techno, this was just another bad storm, but to you, it was one of the scariest parts of living with him. The only thing that could make the blizzard go away was his warmth. Even though this was your second storm by now, you still weren't used to the sounds. Snow was supposed to be soft and fluffy, but buzzards were far from that and far from anything you'd experienced before.
“When is this going to be over?”
Techno continued to look out the window at the blinding white storm. “I think it’s going to be a while. I don’t think it’s going to let up anytime soon.”
You sighed and put your hands to your face. You prided yourself on being a well composed person, but when it came to storms, something deep in your animal brain wanted to make you hide forever. Your instincts weren’t well-founded when it came to the blizzards, but Techno comforted you nonetheless.
He closed the curtain and walked over to where you were sitting, kneeling to your level and taking your hands off of your face to look you in the eye.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay,” He cooed, “It’s just a storm, it can’t hurt you in here.”
“I know…” He stood and sat next to you on the plush couch, the cushions sinking in as he did so. He put his arm around your shoulders and invited you to lean into him.
“C’mere,” He said, motioning for you to move closer, “Sit with me.”
You complied, just as the storm picked up once again. You scooted over into his lap, leaning your head on his chest. Compared to the 6’5” giant, you were an infant. He was nearly one and a half feet taller than you, and even though you were used to people being taller than you, it always felt different with him. With some people, it was intimidating, sometimes patronizing. With Techno, you always felt at home, like he was the iron giant looking after you. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head.
“Do you want me to tell you a story?” He asked. It was always comforting when he did that.
“Yeah…” You mumbled, shutting your eyes.
“Alright,” He cleared his throat and began:
“There once was a wealthy farmer who had three sons; Henry, Oliver, and Prince were their names. By the time he was seventy, he was on his deathbed, and he had to decide which son to give the farm to. When his sons asked who he wanted to receive it, he replied: ‘Whoever passes my test will be the one to own the farm when I die.’ The boys leaned in closer in anticipation for the challenge, ‘I will give you each twenty-five cents. I want you all to use that money to fill a room in the house completely. Buy whatever you need at the market, but do not go over budget.’
The boys understood the assignment, but were confused as to why he wanted them to do that instead of more conventional means. He could have just chosen one of them at random, one proposed, but the old man smiled and said, ‘I have my reasons, now go.’
And so they did. At the market, Henry bought the cheapest, biggest things he could find. He bought thin boxes, thinking he could fill the room with them, since they were so bulky. With the twenty-some boxes he bought, he could only fill half the room, and so he lost the farm.
Oliver was next, and initially, he thought he would be able to hire people to crowd into the house and maybe bring some friends, but no one was interested in what little money he could offer them. He came up with another plan, his father wouldn’t know if he bought above his budget, and so he bought the boxes off of Henry, and then some more. Henry charged him his full twenty-five cents, knowing Oliver was bound to lose with those boxes. Instead, when Henry went into the room they were supposed to fill, he saw a few extra wheels of cheese which blocked the entrance, meaning the room had been filled. Seeing this, he notified his father. Oliver had cheated, and so he would not get the property.
Lastly, Prince skipped into town. He was the youngest out of all of his siblings, only twelve years old at the time. He saw what his other brothers did and took note. He figured there’d be no way to fill the room with any physical objects, and so he came up with a different idea. He bought a candle and a match, with two cents to spare. When he got home and lit the candle, the room filled with light, and he explained it to his brothers.
They refused to think that their father would consider the room filled, but Prince insisted he’d stayed within the rules, and lo and behold, the father was ecstatic.
‘My dear Prince, the farm is yours! Unlike your brother Henry, you were able to fill the room. I never specified what to fill it with, and Henry just assumed that he would have to fill it with physical objects, which is not the case. You also outsmarted your brother Oliver, who had no sense of the rules and threw his chances away by cheating. You were the only one to stick to the rules and accomplish the task, I’m proud of you.’”
Techno finished the story he’d told you many times, knowing it was your favorite. You’d talked about it before, referring to it as a ‘lateral thinking puzzle’ or something along those lines. Techno had bought a whole book of them for times like these, when you were stressed. He’d go over them with you and he especially had fun poking holes in them, finding other ways to get to the desired end.
He was about to say one of his usual quips about the story when he noticed you let out a light snore. You were asleep in his lap, his arms around you, protecting you from the storm outside. He smiled, I am not gonna make it to the meeting today, am I? He thought to himself. The voices answered half-heartedly, still discussing how long they thought you’d been asleep for. He didn’t have the heart to wake you, and so he sat there with you until eventually he fell asleep, too.
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alisonsfics · 3 years
Text
an actual hero
pairing: bucky barnes x reader (little bit of biker!bucky)
summary: you’ve been john walker’s girlfriend since high school. he’s the only man you’ve ever loved, but that may change when a certain serum causes him to risk your life.
word count: 1.9k
warnings: tfatws spoilers, violence, choking (in a violent, not sexual manner), concussion, passing out, john walker going on a rampage
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You saw the news and you were instantly worried. There was a big fight going down with the Flag-smashers. Then you saw him.
John.
Your boyfriend since high school.
Your second half.
He was there, fighting against the Flag-smashers. You both had butted heads over the Flag-smashers issue. You agreed with their goals, but just thought they were approaching it the wrong way. John disagreed. He hated them, truly hated them.
You didn’t blame him after what happened to Lemar, but you had never seen this kind of rage in him. He was consumed by it. You assumed that Lemar’s death and the pressure to be a good Captain America were taking a toll on him.
You knew you had to stop him. The news showed him fighting with the kind of rage that made your skin crawl. You knew you had stop him before he made an irreversible mistake.
You raced down there as fast as you could. You found John instantly. He grabbed one of the Flag-smashers by the neck and held them up against the wall. His feet dangled helplessly below them. John held him up in the air with virtually no effort. He seemed strong, too strong.
“John! You have to stop this” you yelled at him, trying to deescalate the situation. He was shocked to hear your voice. He dropped his grip and turned to face you.
By now, you had gained the attention of Sam and Bucky, who were confused about the mysterious woman who had just appeared.
You hoped he would turn to see you and recognize that he had gone too far. Instead, you only saw anger in his eyes when he looked at you. The Flag-smasher ran away from John, past you. “You’re letting him get away” John said, trying to run past you.
You stepped into his path, putting your hands on his chest. “Please, John. You’re taking this too far” you begged him to stop. You didn’t see any sign of hesitance in his eyes before he shoved you into the road.
You fell to your knees on the rough pavement. You could already tell that you had cut up your hands as you tried to soften your fall. You quickly stood up, not wanting to be in the road when a car drove by.
You still had Bucky’s attention. He was still confused about how you knew John. Him and Sam both watched as you picked yourself up off the ground.
Then, you were blinded by a pair of headlights. One of the armored trucks was coming straight for you. You froze.
You felt every muscle in your body go still. You fought to get your legs to move, so you could run away. Your body stayed firm in its place.
“She’s not moving” Bucky mumbled, before running towards you. His whole body slammed into you, as he pushed you out of the street. You got the wind knocked out of you, and you landed flat on your back on the hard concrete.
Bucky came crashing down on top of you. It took you a few seconds to realize what had just happened. Your senses were on overdrive.
You looked at the unfamiliar man above you who was staring straight back at you. You knew him from the news, but you had never met him. “Are you okay?” He asked you, carefully. You were still in shock, so you nodded your head.
“You just saved my life” you said, breathlessly. He just gave you a small smile, before rolling himself off of you. He winced and got up on his feet. You felt him grab your hands as he helped you stand up.
You felt light-headed as soon as you stood up; you felt a throbbing pain in the back of your head. “Wait...my head kind of—” you started to say before you blacked out.
Bucky panicked as he watched you start to go limp. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, holding you up. He swept his arm under your legs, picking you up bridal style.
When you opened your eyes again, you realized you were on a stretcher inside of an ambulance. You looked around, trying to take in your surroundings.
The ambulance wasn’t moving, and the back doors were open. You saw a paramedic sitting next to you; they were taking notes on a clipboard. Then, you saw Bucky on your other side. He wore a concerned expression.
“You’re awake” he said, softly as his eyes met yours. He seemed slightly less concerned. “I don’t understand. What happened?” You asked, confused.
He noticed your panicked look and took your hand in his. “Do you remember the truck in the street?” He asked you, slowly. You nodded your head, bits and pieces starting to come back to you. “When I pushed you out of the way, you hit your head on the sidewalk. You got a concussion, and then you passed out” he told you.
His thumb subconsciously started to rub back and forth on the back of your hand. Both your eyes went to your hand in his, but neither of you made an effort to move your hands away.
The paramedic turned her attention towards you. “I completed a test, and you’re fine. You have a concussion. Just make sure you get some rest and drink lots of water. You’re good to go” she told you, giving you a polite smile.
“Here let me help” Bucky said, helping you sit up on the stretcher. He kept his hands on yours as you carefully stepped out of the ambulance. “I’m Bucky, by the way” he said, smiling at you.
You felt a school-girl smile appear on your face. “I’m Y/N. Thanks for saving my life” you said, bashfully. Then, another man walked up towards the two of you. You recognized him as Sam.
“Y/N, this is Sam” Bucky said, introducing the two of you. You smiled at him and shook his hand. “Are you okay? I saw Walker push you in the way of that truck. How do you know him anyway?” Sam asked you, curiously.
You noticed he was wearing his Captain America suit. You had only ever seen him in the Falcon suit before. You wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, but you knew he was a better fit for the job than John.
“I’m fine; it’s just a concussion. John is my boyfriend or was my boyfriend. Risking my life might just be a small dealbreaker” you joked, trying to lighten the situation. In reality, you wanted to punch John in the face. You had stood my his side for years, and this is how he repaid you.
They both lightly chuckled at your joke. Then, as if on cue, John came marching over. “There you are. We’re going home” he said, grabbing your arm. You struggled to pull your arm away. He had always been strong, but he was stronger now.
“Get your hands off of me” you said, trying to pull your arm out of his grasp. Within a second, Bucky had pried John’s fingers off of you. “She told you to keep your hands to yourself” Bucky said, bending his fingers backwards until he winced.
Then, he finally let go. He put his hand on your forearm. “You okay?” He asked you, softly. You just nodded your head, too scared to say a word in front of John.
“What the hell is going on here? You think you can just swoop in and steal my girl?” John asked, starting to walk towards you and Bucky. Sam quickly got between John and you.
“We fought you once, and you lost. You want to try again?” Sam taunted. John crossed his arms. “This is between me and my girlfriend” he snarled.
Bucky also shielded you from John. “I’m pretty sure that girls don’t stay with boyfriends who almost get them killed” Bucky said, keeping one hand on yours.
You felt safe behind Bucky. You had just met him, but he was very protective. You knew that he wouldn’t let John anywhere near you.
John huffed, his telltale sign that he was giving up. He walked away from the three of you. “Why did you ever stay with a guy like that? He’s kind of awful” Sam asked you. You shook your head. “He didn’t use to be like that. He used to care” you told them, watching as John walked away.
“Why is he...so strong?” You asked, barely able to find the words. It was the thing you had been struggling with since you saw him fighting that Flag-smasher. Something didn’t feel right. “They took a blood sample and found out he took the serum” Bucky told you.
You were stunned. “Like the super-soldier serum?” You asked, still in shock. They both nodded.
You scoffed to yourself. “He used to talk about much he hated super soldiers. He said real heroes didn’t need a special potion to make them strong” you said, only now seeing his hypocritical nature.
“You should get some rest. Do you need a ride?” Bucky offered. You ignored the smirk that Sam sent his way. “That would be great” you said, smiling.
Bucky hugged Sam and then walked past him. “The suit looks great, Cap” you said, as you walked past him. Bucky led you over to a motorcycle.
“Why am I not surprised?” You asked, giggling. He turned around to face you, and pretended to be offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, smirking at you. You shrugged. “You have the whole biker aesthetic: the leather jacket, the boots, the withering stare” you teased.
He chuckled as he picked the helmet up off the seat. “Here. No more concussions” he said, tightening the strap once he put it on your head. You told him the name of your apartment building. He nodded before you even told him the address.
“I grew up in Brooklyn. I know where it is” he said, getting on his bike. He patted the seat behind him and you swung your leg over the back. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his waist, and rested your head on his back.
He turned on the ignition, and it roared to life. You gave him a thumbs up to tell him you were ready. Soon, you were driving down the streets of Brooklyn.
You expected it to be fast and daring, but instead, it was peaceful. You watched the city whipping past you: the taxi cabs, the street performers, and the illuminated billboards.
He pulled up to your apartment in a matter of minutes. He helped you off the bike and took the helmet off your head. You shoved your hands in your pockets because you didn’t really know what else to do with them.
“Thank you—for everything, I mean” you said, shyly. Bucky hesitated. You could tell he wanted to say something, but you couldn’t tell what it was.
He fiddled with the straps of his leather jacket, nervously toying with them. “I know we just met, but would you like go get dinner sometime?” Bucky asked you. The smile on your face grew ten times bigger. “I’d really like that” you said, cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss.
He was shocked, but eventually kissed you back. He lips tasted like cinnamon. You could feel him smiling as you kissed him. His fingers hooked in your belt loops and pulled you closer to him.
You both pulled away with smiles on your face. He gave you a small piece of paper with his phone number on it.
As he drove away on his motorcycle with you waving from the sidewalk, he couldn’t help but want to thank Dr. Raynor for encouraging him to let people into his life.
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Text
There’s often a lot of subtle nuance in longer works of media, where things are not a direct repetition but a rhyme or callback.  
Think about family or friend in jokes that keep popping up.  It isn’t exactly the same as the first time, but it is a level of similarity.
Miraculous Ladybug is nearing it’s 100th episode.  We’ve seen a lot of character growth, though it isn’t always forward.  That’s okay; after all, life can be like that sometimes.  We’ve seen beneath the masks (of all kinds) to understand the drives and motivations... if you’re paying attention to the hints and clues anyways.  Even a number of the secondary cast has had a lot of time to be further fleshed out and their motivations spelled out in far clearer detail.
We see Marinette’s thoughts and motivations most clearly, in largest part because the show is mostly from her point of view.  Sure, we get the occasional villain blog in from Gabriel’s side of things and the infrequent Adrien and Plagg show.  However, all of that provides more context to the driving plot, ie. the motivation behind the villain and the eventual brewing conflicts for Adrien that will need to be handled sooner or later.
So many people very easily forget that our heroes are young teenagers.  They make mistakes...and that they are allowed to.  They’re allowed to have absurd crushes and hopes and dreams... even ones they don’t necessarily expect to come true.  The seasons have allowed them some growth and maturity although we’re being told that only a year or so would have passed in all this time.
Bafflingly, I keep seeing people assert that the dynamics haven’t changed, most especially for LadyNoir.  Just like Adrinette, the LadyNoir angle is the tested friendship with half relationship hopes.  In fact, Chat Noir stated that he hoped it wouldn’t in Furious Fu, the surest sign of foreshadowing that it would continue to change in massive ways.  I can only assume that most of these people have stopped watching the show because Season 4 has demonstrated some of the most dramatic change yet.
In fact, the only thing that hasn’t changed is that they care about one another.  They’re both just struggling to do that right as the pressures surrounding them are proving more than either of them can handle alone.
Adrien (and therefore Chat Noir because True Selves is a first season fanon idea that has long been disproven and spoiler: they’re one in the same here) is a child who lost his mother not that long ago.  His father is negligent at best abusive at worst and at all points in between seems to be more interested in how he can use his son for his own gains (see also, every photoshoot and in the worst case scenario during Chat Blanc).  Nathalie mostly ignores Adrien unless he is appealing to her directly; a prospect that is now even more challenging now as she appears to be bed-bound.  I’m sure that is making Adrien more anxious as he recalls a similar with his mother.  The most affection he has coming from his home life is from the Gorilla, who protects him seriously and probably gave him those action figures... but outside of that, we have no way of knowing what other help he might provide.  His cousin and Aunt...well, that’s a whole other post for another day.
Adrien’s childhood best friend is incredibly selfish and rude and has put Adrien in bad situations for her own benefit, even as late as Queen Banana.  Nino has generally been one of the best sources of positivity in Adrien’s life, but even he has said hurtful things out of his own place of pain (in Rocketear).  
And then, there’s Ladybug.  The one, truest thing that can be said is that he fears she will abandon him, too.  That’s been quietly at the heart of their relationship at the start, it is only truly obvious now.  Ladybug cares for him and really always has; of course since her heart has always been with Adrien, that and the strictures of concealing their identities have always made anything an impossibility.
Starting from the end of Season 3, Adrien moved on romantically at Ladybug’s request and genuinely tried to make things work with Kagami.  Of course, just like Marinette the endless Akuma made the lies and excuses a necessity, and it inevitably fractured that relationship and friendship.  Kagami needed time, but she was a good friend first and is unknowingly abandoning him in a time when he really needs help to protect her own heart.  
Aside from Plagg and his usual best advise for lactose curing all your ills, Adrien has pretty much been left to his own devices here.  That’s why we now see Chat Noir’s nursing his wounds on his own.  Drinking milk at the Hotel Paris bar isn’t exactly a healthy sign.  
Oddly, I don’t think that the relationship itself has changed much just our understanding of how complex all the underlying trauma and anxiety has been all along.  
The biggest force of change here is Chat Blanc and harrowing impression that left on Marinette.  Her doubts and her lack of understanding of the scope of what threw that whole world into a tailspin is exactly what has driven everything backward.  But in having seen that play out, who could blame her?  
Yes, I know that real answer is some of you and I can’t help but shake my head here.
Then toss on the added weight of the Guardian and dash all of her very fervent romantic hopes.  To be fair, I’m not sure any of us could have handled that stress and sleep deprivation at 14, even with the hope of superpowers.
Chat Blanc is the catalyst that threw their relationship (platonic or otherwise) firmly and irrevocably out of balance.  An eventual equilibrium can come, but that will likely only be after one of the layers of masks is lifted.  Not after they both detransform in front of one another, but after they both more thoroughly understand the hopes and fears of their friend who has standing and fighting by their side all along.  Neither of them can truly help one another until they truly understand one another.
Once that happens, the likelihood is the a) Ladybug and/or Chat Noir will slowly realize exactly who has been beside them and slowly fall all the more or b) both will continue to fall anyways and realize they both have a type until the reveal (that sticks!) finally happens and we all get happy tears. 
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